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1
00:00:04,405 --> 00:00:06,675
( theme music playing )
2
00:00:08,639 --> 00:00:10,539
HEY, DAD,
I WANT TO SIGN UP FOR HOCKEY.
3
00:00:12,643 --> 00:00:15,193
- NO, YOU DON'T.
- YEAH, I DO.
4
00:00:15,186 --> 00:00:17,186
NO, YOU DON'T!
KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN.
5
00:00:17,188 --> 00:00:18,748
WHY?
WHAT'S WRONG WITH HOCKEY?
6
00:00:18,749 --> 00:00:20,349
- SHH SHH SHH!
-( footsteps )
7
00:00:20,351 --> 00:00:23,591
DID SOMEONE
SAY HOCKEY?
8
00:00:23,594 --> 00:00:25,534
N-NO, HONEY.
9
00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:27,656
I SAID I WAS FEELING
A LITTLE...
10
00:00:27,658 --> 00:00:29,098
STOCKY.
11
00:00:29,100 --> 00:00:31,700
I HEARD THE WORD HOCKEY
COME UP FROM THE AIR VENT.
12
00:00:31,702 --> 00:00:36,112
I ASKED IF I COULD PLAY HOCKEY
AND THEN DAD GOT ALL WEIRD.
13
00:00:36,107 --> 00:00:37,567
I HAVE BEEN DREAMING
OF THE DAY
14
00:00:37,568 --> 00:00:39,708
WHEN ONE OF MY KIDS
STRAPPED ON THE SKATES
15
00:00:39,710 --> 00:00:41,370
AND FOLLOWED
IN MAMA'S FOOTSTEPS.
16
00:00:41,372 --> 00:00:44,452
- I FEEL A STORY COMING ON.
- I WAS THE STAR
17
00:00:44,445 --> 00:00:47,515
OF THE SOUTHWEST DENVER
COMMUNITY COLLEGE LADY ICERS.
18
00:00:48,619 --> 00:00:51,579
- YOU EVEN HAD A CUTE NICKNAME.
- THEY CALLED ME "PSYCHO."
19
00:00:51,582 --> 00:00:54,792
BROKE THE LEAGUE RECORD
FOR PENALTY MINUTES.
20
00:00:54,785 --> 00:00:57,655
- AND THAT'S WHY
THEY CALLED ME--
- PSYCHO. I GOT IT.
21
00:00:57,658 --> 00:00:59,628
CAN I PLAY HOCKEY?
22
00:00:59,630 --> 00:01:01,530
NOT ONLY CAN YOU
PLAY HOCKEY,
23
00:01:01,532 --> 00:01:04,102
I'M GONNA TEACH YOU EVERYTHING
I KNOW ABOUT THE SPORT.
24
00:01:04,095 --> 00:01:07,495
NO, THAT'S OKAY, MOM.
THEY ACTUALLY HAVE COACHES.
25
00:01:07,498 --> 00:01:10,298
COACH...
I'LL BE YOUR COACH!
26
00:01:10,301 --> 00:01:13,271
- GREAT IDEA!
- COACH PSYCHO.
27
00:01:13,274 --> 00:01:15,784
- PSYCHO.
- THAT'S RIGHT, CHARLIE.
28
00:01:15,776 --> 00:01:17,746
MOMMY'S PSYCHO.
29
00:01:20,711 --> 00:01:22,151
( rock music playing )
30
00:01:22,153 --> 00:01:23,613
♪ TODAY'S ALL BURNT TOAST ♪
31
00:01:23,614 --> 00:01:25,424
♪ RUNNING LATE,
AND DAD JOKES ♪
32
00:01:25,416 --> 00:01:27,786
♪ "HAS ANYBODY
SEEN MY LEFT SHOE?" ♪
33
00:01:27,788 --> 00:01:29,758
♪ I CLOSE MY EYES,
TAKE A BITE ♪
34
00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:31,660
♪ GRAB A RIDE,
LAUGH OUT LOUD ♪
35
00:01:31,662 --> 00:01:34,402
♪ THERE IT IS
UP ON THE ROOF ♪
36
00:01:34,395 --> 00:01:37,625
♪ I'VE BEEN THERE,
I'VE SURVIVED ♪
37
00:01:37,628 --> 00:01:41,398
♪ SO JUST TAKE
MY ADVICE ♪
38
00:01:41,402 --> 00:01:43,532
♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY ♪
39
00:01:43,534 --> 00:01:45,184
♪ THINGS ARE CRAZY ♪
40
00:01:45,176 --> 00:01:47,706
♪ BUT I KNOW
YOUR FUTURE'S BRIGHT ♪
41
00:01:47,708 --> 00:01:49,608
♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY ♪
42
00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:51,540
♪ THERE'S NO MAYBE ♪
43
00:01:51,542 --> 00:01:54,322
♪ EVERYTHING
TURNS OUT ALL RIGHT ♪
44
00:01:54,315 --> 00:01:56,615
♪ YOUR LIFE
IS UP AND DOWN ♪
45
00:01:56,617 --> 00:02:00,347
♪ BUT TRUST ME,
IT COMES BACK AROUND ♪
46
00:02:00,351 --> 00:02:03,691
♪ YOU'RE GONNA LOVE
WHO YOU TURN OUT TO BE ♪
47
00:02:05,296 --> 00:02:07,696
♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY. ♪
48
00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:17,906
- OKAY, SEE YOU
TOMORROW, BABE.
- OKAY.
49
00:02:17,908 --> 00:02:19,608
OH, HEY, DEREK,
50
00:02:19,610 --> 00:02:21,570
I WAS WONDERING IF
MAYBE AFTER SCHOOL
51
00:02:21,572 --> 00:02:24,252
- YOU WANNA GO MINI GOLFING?
- EH, WHATEVER.
52
00:02:25,376 --> 00:02:28,316
OKAY, SO, UM, IS THAT
A WHATEVER LIKE...
53
00:02:28,319 --> 00:02:30,219
"I DON'T WANNA GO,"
OR A WHATEVER LIKE
54
00:02:30,221 --> 00:02:32,451
"MINI GOLF, WOW!"?
55
00:02:34,425 --> 00:02:35,855
WHICHEVER.
56
00:02:37,188 --> 00:02:40,858
OKAY OKAY, SO IS THAT
A WHICHEVER LIKE "WHATEVER"
57
00:02:40,861 --> 00:02:44,271
OR A WHICHEVER LIKE
"MINI GOLF, WOW!"?
58
00:02:46,437 --> 00:02:48,737
- NO WORRIES.
- WHATEVER.
59
00:02:48,739 --> 00:02:51,769
- 'KAY, SEE YOU, BABE.
- OKAY.
60
00:02:55,646 --> 00:02:57,276
IVY, CAN I ASK YOU
SOMETHING?
61
00:02:57,278 --> 00:02:59,248
- SURE, WHAT'S UP?
- IT'S ABOUT DEREK.
62
00:02:59,250 --> 00:03:01,810
AND I WANT YOU TO BE
COMPLETELY HONEST.
63
00:03:01,812 --> 00:03:05,292
YOU KNOW, WE'VE BEEN
GOING OUT FOR A WHILE.
64
00:03:05,286 --> 00:03:08,356
AND AT FIRST IT WAS FUN
AND EVERYTHING, BUT NOW
65
00:03:08,359 --> 00:03:10,259
I'M KINDA WONDERING
IF MAYBE I SHOULD--
66
00:03:10,261 --> 00:03:11,821
DUMP HIS SORRY BUTT!
67
00:03:14,965 --> 00:03:17,265
- WHOA.
- DO IT! NOW.
68
00:03:17,268 --> 00:03:19,298
HE'S PROBABLY
STILL OUT THERE.
I'LL GO GET HIM.
69
00:03:19,300 --> 00:03:21,670
WHOA,
IVY, IVY, WAIT!
70
00:03:21,672 --> 00:03:23,832
I DON'T MEAN RIGHT NOW.
71
00:03:23,834 --> 00:03:27,244
I'VE NEVER BROKEN UP
WITH SOMEBODY BEFORE AND I'M
KIND OF NERVOUS ABOUT IT.
72
00:03:27,238 --> 00:03:30,508
- THERE'S NOTHING
TO BE NERVOUS ABOUT.
- WELL, I-- I DON'T KNOW.
73
00:03:30,511 --> 00:03:32,341
IT'S EASY.
LOOK.
74
00:03:32,343 --> 00:03:34,593
JUST PRETEND I'M DEREK
AND BREAK UP WITH ME.
75
00:03:34,585 --> 00:03:38,715
IF IT HELPS, I'LL PUT
A STUPID LOOK ON MY FACE
AND BREATHE THROUGH MY MOUTH.
76
00:03:45,256 --> 00:03:47,356
UM...
77
00:03:47,358 --> 00:03:51,258
NO, I'M NOT GONNA PRACTICE
BREAKING UP WITH SOMEBODY.
78
00:03:51,262 --> 00:03:52,462
I MEAN, HOW HARD CAN IT BE?
79
00:03:52,463 --> 00:03:55,343
I JUST TELL DEREK
HOW I FEEL-- NICELY--
80
00:03:55,336 --> 00:03:57,366
AND THEN WE BOTH
GO ON WITH OUR LIVES.
81
00:03:57,368 --> 00:04:00,308
HEH HEH.
WHATEVER.
82
00:04:01,312 --> 00:04:03,012
OKAY, COULD YOU STOP
DOING THAT, PLEASE?
83
00:04:03,013 --> 00:04:07,323
EHHH, I LIKE IT.
84
00:04:07,318 --> 00:04:11,448
IT'S RELAXING.
I FEEL LIKE MY BRAIN'S
ON VACATION.
85
00:04:16,287 --> 00:04:18,287
OKAY, PEOPLE, LISTEN UP.
86
00:04:18,289 --> 00:04:21,389
THE GENIUSES AT CORPORATE
HAVE COME UP WITH
A NEW MENU ITEM.
87
00:04:21,392 --> 00:04:23,932
THEY ARE CALLED
CHICKEN SLIVERS.
88
00:04:23,934 --> 00:04:25,904
- WHAT'S A SLIVER?
IS IT LIKE A NUGGET?
- NO.
89
00:04:25,896 --> 00:04:27,696
- IS IT LIKE A TENDER?
- NOPE.
90
00:04:27,698 --> 00:04:30,798
- DOES IT HAVE CHICKEN IN IT?
- ACCORDING TO LEGAL,
91
00:04:30,801 --> 00:04:33,441
THE ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION
IS "POSSIBLY."
92
00:04:34,445 --> 00:04:36,845
AND REMEMBER, THEY'RE NOT
JUST CHICKEN SLIVERS,
93
00:04:36,847 --> 00:04:39,307
THEY ARE CORPORAL KWIKKI'S
CHICKEN SLIVERS,
94
00:04:39,310 --> 00:04:42,380
IN HONOR OF OUR FOUNDER,
CORPORAL BULL S. KWIKKI.
95
00:04:42,383 --> 00:04:45,393
- WHAT'S HE A CORPORAL OF?
- LIP-SMACKING GOODNESS.
96
00:04:45,386 --> 00:04:47,556
WHICH IS ALSO THE TITLE
OF HIS AUTOBIOGRAPHY.
97
00:04:49,460 --> 00:04:52,420
OKAY, MINIMUM WAGERS--
PAYCHECKS.
98
00:04:52,423 --> 00:04:54,533
- THANKS.
- THANK YOU.
99
00:04:54,525 --> 00:04:58,325
MITCH, AREN'T WE SUPPOSED
TO BE MAKING MINIMUM WAGE?
100
00:04:58,329 --> 00:05:00,429
IT'S THE LAW.
MY DAD TOLD ME ABOUT IT.
101
00:05:00,431 --> 00:05:02,471
NEVER TALK TO YOUR PARENTS!
102
00:05:02,473 --> 00:05:04,743
SERIOUSLY, GUYS,
WHAT HAPPENS HERE IS SACRED.
103
00:05:04,735 --> 00:05:06,605
THIS IS A SAFE PLACE.
104
00:05:06,607 --> 00:05:10,537
WAIT A MINUTE.
"MINIMUM" MEANS THE LEAST.
105
00:05:10,541 --> 00:05:13,481
WE'RE MAKING
LESS THAN THE LEAST?
106
00:05:14,485 --> 00:05:16,345
OKAY, DOORS OPENING,
107
00:05:16,347 --> 00:05:18,347
LET'S FEED THE WORLD, HUH?
108
00:05:21,522 --> 00:05:23,422
ISN'T THERE SOMETHING
YOU CAN DO ABOUT OUR SALARY?
109
00:05:23,424 --> 00:05:26,334
- WHY ME?
- YOU'RE THE SMARTEST ONE HERE.
110
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:28,696
I AM?
111
00:05:28,699 --> 00:05:31,459
BUT MY FOOT'S
IN A MOP BUCKET.
112
00:05:34,405 --> 00:05:36,635
YEAH, BUT YOU KNOW
HOW TO GET IT OUT.
113
00:05:43,113 --> 00:05:45,123
( sighs )
I THOUGHT WE WERE
GOING TO THE ICE RINK.
114
00:05:45,115 --> 00:05:48,375
NO. YOU CAN'T GO
ANYWHERE NEAR THE ICE UNTIL
YOU LEARN THE FUNDAMENTALS.
115
00:05:48,379 --> 00:05:49,979
( groans )
SOUNDS BORING.
116
00:05:49,980 --> 00:05:52,550
IT'S NOT BORING.
IT'S FUN!
117
00:05:52,553 --> 00:05:54,793
COME ON, YOU CAN'T SPELL
FUNDAMENTAL WITHOUT "FUN."
118
00:05:54,785 --> 00:05:57,755
YOU ALSO CAN'T SPELL IT
WITHOUT "MENTAL."
119
00:05:57,758 --> 00:06:00,588
OKAY, FUNDAMENTAL
NUMBER ONE: POSITIONING.
120
00:06:01,932 --> 00:06:04,402
- WHY IS THERE A PAD
ON THE WALL?
- ( grunts )
121
00:06:04,395 --> 00:06:05,765
( groans )
122
00:06:05,766 --> 00:06:08,496
BECAUSE I BELIEVE
IN SAFETY FIRST.
123
00:06:10,140 --> 00:06:12,770
- WHAT WAS THAT?
- THAT'S CALLED CHECKING.
124
00:06:12,773 --> 00:06:14,683
IT'S NOT ALLOWED
AT YOUR LEVEL...
125
00:06:14,675 --> 00:06:17,405
UNLESS THE REF
DOESN'T SEE YOU.
126
00:06:17,408 --> 00:06:20,048
- NOW YOU CHECK ME.
- NO WAY, YOU'RE MY MOM.
127
00:06:20,050 --> 00:06:21,610
COME ON, CHECK ME,
YOU LITTLE WEENIE.
128
00:06:23,914 --> 00:06:25,964
( groans )
129
00:06:25,956 --> 00:06:27,986
THAT'S CALLED
AVOIDING A CHECK.
130
00:06:27,988 --> 00:06:30,458
GET UP.
LET'S PRACTICE YOUR SKATING.
131
00:06:30,461 --> 00:06:33,521
OKAY, I WILL DEMONSTRATE.
132
00:06:33,524 --> 00:06:36,634
WHOOSH WHOOSH WHOOSH,
133
00:06:36,627 --> 00:06:39,027
NICE AND EASY,
JUST LIKE MAMA.
134
00:06:39,029 --> 00:06:41,969
- NOW YOU TRY.
- OKAY.
135
00:06:43,934 --> 00:06:46,414
- NOT BAD.
- NOT BAD?
136
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:49,936
I'D SAY I'M PRETTY GOOD.
( groans )
137
00:06:51,582 --> 00:06:53,582
NEVER GET COMFORTABLE.
138
00:07:00,791 --> 00:07:02,851
- HEY, SWEETIE PIE.
- HEY, DAD.
139
00:07:04,094 --> 00:07:05,664
ACTUALLY I WAS...
140
00:07:05,656 --> 00:07:07,026
HEY, P.J.
141
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:11,629
- YOU OKAY?
- I GOT A BIG PROBLEM AT WORK.
142
00:07:11,632 --> 00:07:13,502
I FOUND OUT MY BOSS
IS UNDERPAYING US
143
00:07:13,504 --> 00:07:15,914
AND NOW THE STAFF WANTS ME
TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
144
00:07:15,906 --> 00:07:18,536
- WHY YOU?
- I'M THE SMARTEST.
145
00:07:21,472 --> 00:07:24,582
UM... HOW EXACTLY
WAS THAT DETERMINED?
146
00:07:24,575 --> 00:07:27,615
I DON'T KNOW.
PROBABLY A SECRET VOTE.
147
00:07:27,618 --> 00:07:30,018
MAYBE A RAFFLE.
148
00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:32,721
UH, WELL,
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
149
00:07:32,723 --> 00:07:34,153
I DON'T KNOW.
150
00:07:34,154 --> 00:07:36,194
- I DON'T KNOW.
- P.J.!
151
00:07:36,186 --> 00:07:39,556
YOU CAN'T GO THROUGH LIFE
ANSWERING EVERY QUESTION
WITH "I DON'T KNOW."
152
00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:41,530
REALLY?
153
00:07:41,532 --> 00:07:43,492
I HAVE SO FAR AND I'M
A SENIOR IN HIGH SCHOOL.
154
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:48,536
( mutters )
PROBABLY A RAFFLE.
155
00:07:48,539 --> 00:07:50,139
UM, LOOK,
156
00:07:50,140 --> 00:07:52,600
SON, IF YOU THINK
YOU DESERVE MORE MONEY,
157
00:07:52,603 --> 00:07:54,913
THEN STAND UP FOR YOURSELF.
158
00:07:54,905 --> 00:07:58,005
BY THE WAY, YOUR COWORKERS,
THEY ARE COUNTING ONYOU
159
00:07:58,008 --> 00:07:59,508
TO BE STRONG.
160
00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:05,893
( sighs )
OH MAN, I JUST
FOUND OUT I'M SMART,
161
00:08:05,886 --> 00:08:07,656
NOW I HAVE TO BE
STRONG TOO?
162
00:08:09,219 --> 00:08:11,759
ENJOY YOUR
CHILDHOOD, CHARLIE.
IT DOES NOT LAST FOREVER.
163
00:08:11,762 --> 00:08:13,692
COOKIE?
164
00:08:15,195 --> 00:08:17,125
P.J. WUV A COOKIE.
165
00:08:24,805 --> 00:08:26,605
OKAY... OKAY OKAY,
HE'S HERE.
166
00:08:26,607 --> 00:08:29,837
OH, IVY, I DON'T KNOW
IF I CAN DO THIS.
167
00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:32,110
MY HEART IS POUNDING.
OH, HI, HE SEES ME!
168
00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:34,692
HE'S WAVING.
ALL RIGHT, NOW I'M
WAVING AND SMILING.
169
00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:38,787
THIS FEELS SO WRONG.
GOTTA GO.
170
00:08:40,991 --> 00:08:42,851
- HEY THERE, HI, DEREK.
- HEY.
171
00:08:42,853 --> 00:08:45,703
OH HI, THANK YOU
FOR MEETING ME.
172
00:08:45,696 --> 00:08:48,296
- HEY, NO WORRIES.
- YEAH, UH...
173
00:08:48,298 --> 00:08:52,058
WELL, THERE MIGHT
BE A FEW.
174
00:08:52,062 --> 00:08:55,742
LISTEN, I OWE YOU
AN APOLOGY.
175
00:08:55,736 --> 00:08:58,666
- FOR WHAT?
- FOR BLOWING OFF THAT
WHOLE MINI GOLF THING.
176
00:08:58,669 --> 00:09:00,709
OH NO NO NO,
THAT'S OKAY.
177
00:09:00,711 --> 00:09:03,611
NO!
NO, IT'S NOT.
YOU'RE MY GIRL.
178
00:09:03,614 --> 00:09:06,284
IF YOU LIKE MINI GOLF,
I SHOULD LIKE MINI GOLF.
179
00:09:06,276 --> 00:09:10,746
I DON'T LIKE
MINI GOLF THAT MUCH.
AND SPEAKING OF
180
00:09:10,751 --> 00:09:13,251
- NOT LIKING THINGS--
- WAIT.
181
00:09:13,253 --> 00:09:16,763
BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING ELSE,
I'VE GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU.
182
00:09:16,757 --> 00:09:17,957
MM-HMM.
183
00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:20,588
OH, HA HA.
184
00:09:20,591 --> 00:09:22,931
A LEATHER JACKET
JUST LIKE YOURS.
185
00:09:22,933 --> 00:09:26,243
YEAH, EXCEPT THIS ONE
SAYS "D'S GIRL."
186
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:30,068
- YOU LIKE IT?
- ( chuckles )
187
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:32,970
WHAT'S NOT TO LIKE?
I MEAN, I--
188
00:09:32,973 --> 00:09:36,013
I'M D'S GIRL,
NOW IT SAYS SO...
189
00:09:36,006 --> 00:09:37,976
ON A JACKET.
190
00:09:40,951 --> 00:09:43,811
- YEAH, WELL, TRY IT ON.
- OOO-KAY.
191
00:09:49,159 --> 00:09:51,589
WOW, AWESOME.
192
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:52,991
NOW WHEN YOU'RE ON
THE BACK OF MY BIKE
193
00:09:52,993 --> 00:09:54,363
EVERYONE WILL KNOW
WHO YOU ARE.
194
00:09:55,996 --> 00:09:57,966
D'S GIRL.
195
00:10:03,273 --> 00:10:05,643
- WHAT'S GOING ON?
- MITCH, WE NEED TO TALK.
196
00:10:05,636 --> 00:10:08,336
YOU FOUND OUT
WHAT'S IN THE CHICKEN?
197
00:10:08,338 --> 00:10:11,338
- NO.
- YOU FOUND OUT WHAT WE
FEED THE CHICKENS?
198
00:10:12,813 --> 00:10:15,653
- NO.
- IS THIS ABOUT THE FINGER
IN THE FINGERS?
199
00:10:15,646 --> 00:10:18,316
- WHAT?!
- WHY DON'T YOU
200
00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:20,188
TELL ME WHAT THIS IS ABOUT?
201
00:10:20,190 --> 00:10:23,690
- WE WANT A RAISE.
- A RAISE.
202
00:10:23,694 --> 00:10:25,964
OKAY.
OKAY.
203
00:10:25,956 --> 00:10:28,396
WE CAN DISCUSS THAT AT YOUR
NEXT SALARY NEGOTIATION
204
00:10:28,398 --> 00:10:31,358
WHICH I BELIEVE IS SCHEDULED
FOR THE 5th OF...
205
00:10:31,361 --> 00:10:33,331
( mutters )
OCTEMBRUARY.
206
00:10:35,405 --> 00:10:37,305
THAT'S NOT EVEN
A REAL MONTH!
207
00:10:37,307 --> 00:10:38,737
RIGHT, P.J.?
208
00:10:38,739 --> 00:10:41,269
LOOK, MITCH,
WHAT YOU'RE DOING
IS WRONG
209
00:10:41,271 --> 00:10:42,971
AND WE'RE NOT GONNA
LET YOU GET AWAY WITH IT.
210
00:10:42,973 --> 00:10:45,223
- WE DEMAND A RAISE!
- AND IF I DON'T GIVE IT TO YOU
211
00:10:45,215 --> 00:10:46,915
YOU'RE GONNA WHAT?
GO ON STRIKE?
212
00:10:46,917 --> 00:10:49,047
- THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT WE'LL DO.
- YOU'RE GONNA WALK RIGHT OUT?
213
00:10:49,049 --> 00:10:51,379
IF THAT'S WHAT STRIKING IS,
THEN YES.
214
00:10:51,381 --> 00:10:53,681
ALL RIGHT.
215
00:10:53,684 --> 00:10:54,994
ALL RIGHT.
216
00:10:54,985 --> 00:10:57,885
COME ON, GUYS.
217
00:10:57,888 --> 00:10:59,958
- YOU'LL BE SORRY.
- NO, WE WON'T.
218
00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:02,690
UH, I'M KINDA
SORRY.
219
00:11:02,693 --> 00:11:04,803
I LEFT MY WALLET
IN THE BREAK ROOM.
220
00:11:07,237 --> 00:11:09,837
ALL RIGHT, GUYS,
WE'RE ON STRIKE.
221
00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:12,670
All: YEAH!
222
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:15,252
WHAT DO WE DO NOW?
223
00:11:15,245 --> 00:11:16,945
UH...
224
00:11:16,947 --> 00:11:18,207
I DON'T KNOW.
225
00:11:18,208 --> 00:11:19,978
WHILE WE FIGURE OUT
WHAT A STRIKE IS,
226
00:11:19,980 --> 00:11:22,380
LET'S GET OUT OF THE WAY
AND LET THE CUSTOMERS IN.
227
00:11:22,382 --> 00:11:24,822
- WELCOME TO KWIKKI CHIKKI.
- TRY THE SLIVERS!
228
00:11:33,924 --> 00:11:35,374
MOM, MOM, HI.
229
00:11:35,365 --> 00:11:37,225
- TEDDY, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING HERE?
- I NEED SOME ADVICE.
230
00:11:37,227 --> 00:11:38,797
OH HONEY, I'M WORKING.
231
00:11:38,799 --> 00:11:40,899
YEAH, BUT THIS IS
ABOUT MY LOVE LIFE.
232
00:11:40,901 --> 00:11:43,871
OH HONEY, I THINK THAT CAN
WAIT TILL TONIGHT.
233
00:11:43,874 --> 00:11:48,414
P.A.:
Nurse Duncan, patient in 312
needs a sponge bath.
234
00:11:49,910 --> 00:11:51,980
RHONDA, CAN YOU HANDLE THAT?
235
00:11:51,982 --> 00:11:54,482
I'M DEALING WITH A FAMILY
CRISIS RIGHT HERE.
236
00:11:56,016 --> 00:11:57,286
THANK YOU.
237
00:11:58,448 --> 00:12:00,218
WHAT UP, GIRL?
238
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:03,390
THIS IS WHAT'S UP.
239
00:12:03,393 --> 00:12:05,833
D'S GIRL?
I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA
BREAK UP WITH DEREK?
240
00:12:05,826 --> 00:12:07,856
YEAH, I TRIED, BUT THEN
HE GAVE ME THIS JACKET
241
00:12:07,858 --> 00:12:09,158
AND NOW I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO DO.
242
00:12:09,159 --> 00:12:11,499
HONEY, THESE THINGS ARE
NEVER EASY, BUT THE LONGER
243
00:12:11,501 --> 00:12:13,331
YOU LET IT GO ON
THE WORSE IT'S GONNA BE.
244
00:12:13,333 --> 00:12:15,443
OKAY, JUST PROMISE YOURSELF
245
00:12:15,435 --> 00:12:19,005
THE VERY NEXT TIME
YOU SEE DEREK, YOU'RE GONNA
BREAK UP WITH HIM.
246
00:12:19,009 --> 00:12:20,869
OKAY.
247
00:12:20,871 --> 00:12:23,141
OKAY OKAY, THE VERY NEXT TIME.
248
00:12:23,143 --> 00:12:24,473
- YES.
- HEY!
249
00:12:24,474 --> 00:12:26,154
OH HEY, DEREK.
WHAT-- DEREK?!
250
00:12:27,918 --> 00:12:30,318
- OH MY GOSH.
- WHAT HAPPENED?
251
00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:33,920
UH, WELL, I WAS
ON MY MOTORCYCLE
252
00:12:33,924 --> 00:12:36,864
AND THEN I PASSED THAT STORE
THAT SELLS TEDDY BEARS
253
00:12:36,857 --> 00:12:40,157
AND I STARTED THINKING
OF YOU 'CAUSE, WELL,
YOU'RE MY TEDDY BEAR.
254
00:12:41,892 --> 00:12:44,762
AND THEN I WAS
IN SOMEONE'S BACKYARD.
255
00:12:48,899 --> 00:12:51,299
NOT THEVERYNEXT TIME.
256
00:12:57,948 --> 00:13:00,348
NO BUCKS, NO CLUCKS.
257
00:13:00,350 --> 00:13:02,050
NO BUCKS,
NO CLUCKS.
258
00:13:02,052 --> 00:13:04,082
NO BUCKS, NO CLUCKS.
259
00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:06,364
NO BUCKS,
NO CLUCKS.
260
00:13:07,988 --> 00:13:09,958
ARE YOU REALLY GONNA
CROSS THIS PICKET LINE?
261
00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:11,920
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE
TO GO THROUGH HER.
262
00:13:17,227 --> 00:13:19,167
- YEAH!
- ( cheering )
263
00:13:20,430 --> 00:13:22,830
I SAY "CHIKKI,"
YOU SAY "ICKY."
264
00:13:22,833 --> 00:13:25,183
- CHIKKI CHIKKI!
- ICKY ICKY!
265
00:13:25,175 --> 00:13:27,275
HOW'S IT GOING
OUT HERE, STRIKERS?
266
00:13:28,438 --> 00:13:31,438
SO, MITCH, ARE YOU HERE
TO MEET OUR DEMANDS?
267
00:13:31,441 --> 00:13:34,441
NO.
I'M HERE TO MEET
MY NEW EMPLOYEES.
268
00:13:34,444 --> 00:13:37,924
WELCOME TO KWIKKI CHIKKI.
LET'S GET STARTED RIGHT AWAY.
269
00:13:37,918 --> 00:13:40,548
ALL RIGHT, DON'T WORRY
ABOUT WASHING YOUR HANDS.
270
00:13:40,550 --> 00:13:42,450
WHAT ABOUT US?
271
00:13:42,452 --> 00:13:45,032
OH, GOOD NEWS.
YOU'RE ALL FIRED.
272
00:13:45,025 --> 00:13:47,825
- THAT'S NOT FAIR.
- TELL THAT TO THE GENIUS
273
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,297
THAT TOLD YOU
TO GO OUT ON STRIKE.
274
00:13:51,932 --> 00:13:54,102
THANKS A LOT, P.J.
275
00:13:54,104 --> 00:13:55,974
WHA-- GUYS?
276
00:13:55,966 --> 00:13:59,006
THIS ISN'T OVER.
GUYS, COME BACK!
277
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:03,010
WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE IT'S JUST
YOU AND ME, CHARLIE.
278
00:14:06,546 --> 00:14:08,476
I DON'T KNOW
WHERE YOU'RE GOING.
279
00:14:08,478 --> 00:14:10,978
I'M YOUR RIDE!
280
00:14:16,927 --> 00:14:19,057
( sighs )
MOM, COME ON!
281
00:14:22,392 --> 00:14:24,392
COME ON, ROOKIE,
LET'S SEE WHAT YOU GOT.
282
00:14:28,138 --> 00:14:29,338
THIS IS WHAT I GOT.
283
00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:33,100
( glass shatters )
284
00:14:36,276 --> 00:14:38,306
HAD TO PLAY HOCKEY.
285
00:14:41,151 --> 00:14:43,451
GABE, HONEY, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE
TO DO BETTER THAN THAT
286
00:14:43,453 --> 00:14:45,493
IF YOU EVER WANT
TO SET FOOT ON THE ICE.
287
00:14:45,485 --> 00:14:46,555
( sighs )
288
00:14:58,168 --> 00:14:59,328
( gargles )
289
00:15:03,173 --> 00:15:05,043
OKAY, BRING IT.
290
00:15:13,383 --> 00:15:17,053
( sighs )
WELL, DAD, I TOOK YOUR ADVICE,
MADE A STAND.
291
00:15:17,047 --> 00:15:19,517
HEY, GOOD FOR YOU.
AND?
292
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:22,520
EVERYONE GOT FIRED.
293
00:15:22,522 --> 00:15:24,192
- THAT'S TERRIBLE.
- YEAH.
294
00:15:24,194 --> 00:15:27,204
- I KNOW.
- I'M REALLY SORRY.
295
00:15:27,197 --> 00:15:31,057
I-- I-I CAN'T HELP FEELING KIND
OF RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL THIS.
296
00:15:31,061 --> 00:15:34,101
WELL, YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE,
SO YOUR FEELING IS CORRECT.
297
00:15:38,308 --> 00:15:40,668
LOOK, THERE'S GOTTA BE
SOMEBODY YOU CAN TALK TO.
298
00:15:40,670 --> 00:15:43,040
- GO OVER YOUR BOSS'S HEAD.
- TO WHO?
299
00:15:43,043 --> 00:15:47,053
NOT EVEN CORPORAL BULL S. KWIKKI
HIMSELF COULD SAVE US NOW.
300
00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:49,417
THE GUY IN THE ADS?
301
00:15:49,419 --> 00:15:50,419
HE'S REAL?
302
00:15:50,420 --> 00:15:53,080
YEAH, OF COURSE HE'S REAL.
303
00:15:53,083 --> 00:15:55,233
AND HE REALLY HAS A HORSE
NAMED "CURLY FRY"?
304
00:15:55,225 --> 00:15:59,125
THAT WAS A JOKE
IN A COMMERCIAL.
305
00:15:59,129 --> 00:16:01,629
YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW
YOUR HISTORY.
306
00:16:12,102 --> 00:16:13,542
OKAY.
307
00:16:13,543 --> 00:16:16,213
- YOU READY?
- YEAH, I'M READY.
308
00:16:16,206 --> 00:16:17,676
ALL RIGHT,
JUST GET IN THERE,
309
00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:20,077
BREAK HIS HEART
AND GET OUT.
310
00:16:23,013 --> 00:16:24,213
( exhales )
311
00:16:26,216 --> 00:16:27,756
- HEY.
-HEY.
312
00:16:27,757 --> 00:16:31,257
- ARE YOU GONNA SIT DOWN?
- UH, NO. NO, UM...
313
00:16:31,261 --> 00:16:34,521
THERE'S SOMETHING
I WANT TO SAY.
I'M JUST GONNA SAY IT.
314
00:16:34,524 --> 00:16:39,404
THIS MIGHT BE
A LITTLE TOUGH BECAUSE
I KNOW YOU'RE INTO ME.
315
00:16:39,399 --> 00:16:42,229
YOU GOT ME THAT JACKET,
BUT, UH,
316
00:16:42,232 --> 00:16:44,572
THE THING IS...
317
00:16:44,574 --> 00:16:46,684
I THINK
WE SHOULD BREAK UP.
318
00:16:49,039 --> 00:16:52,209
UH... OKAY.
319
00:16:53,483 --> 00:16:55,193
OKAY?
320
00:16:55,185 --> 00:16:58,315
YEAH, I MEAN, IF--
IF IT'S WHAT YOU WANT.
321
00:16:58,318 --> 00:17:00,388
YEAH, NO,
THAT'S WHAT I WANT.
322
00:17:01,721 --> 00:17:04,121
NO WORRIES.
323
00:17:04,124 --> 00:17:06,464
GREAT.
324
00:17:06,456 --> 00:17:08,326
OKAY, WELL...
325
00:17:10,330 --> 00:17:12,730
- GOODBYE.
- BYE.
326
00:17:18,608 --> 00:17:21,138
OKAY, SORRY,
QUICK QUESTION:
327
00:17:21,141 --> 00:17:24,611
YOU'RE TAKING
THIS REALLY WELL.
WHY IS THAT?
328
00:17:24,614 --> 00:17:27,424
I MEAN, WELL,
IF IT'S NOT WORKING--
329
00:17:27,417 --> 00:17:31,647
IT WASN'T WORKING FOR ME,
BUT IT WAS WORKING
FOR YOU, RIGHT?
330
00:17:31,651 --> 00:17:34,421
SURE.
WHATEVER.
331
00:17:34,424 --> 00:17:37,634
COOL.
GOODBYE.
332
00:17:37,627 --> 00:17:39,327
AGAIN.
333
00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:46,204
OKAY, I'M SORRY.
334
00:17:47,797 --> 00:17:50,267
I'M BREAKING
YOUR HEART HERE.
THE POLITE RESPONSE
335
00:17:50,270 --> 00:17:52,700
WOULD BE TO SHOW
A LITTLE BIT OF EMOTION!
336
00:17:54,474 --> 00:17:58,154
- HEY, HOW ARE WE
DOING OVER HERE?
- NOT SO GREAT!
337
00:17:58,148 --> 00:18:01,308
I JUST BROKE UP
WITH DEREK AND HE'S
TAKING IT REALLY WELL!
338
00:18:03,153 --> 00:18:05,693
- BUT THAT'S GOOD, RIGHT?
- NO!
339
00:18:05,685 --> 00:18:07,685
NO NO, I WANT HIM
TO BE DEVASTATED.
340
00:18:07,687 --> 00:18:10,157
WHY AREN'T YOU
DEVASTATED?
341
00:18:12,392 --> 00:18:14,862
TEDDY, PEOPLE ARE STARING.
342
00:18:14,864 --> 00:18:16,274
OH HO HO,
343
00:18:16,266 --> 00:18:18,226
SO I'M
EMBARRASSING YOU?
344
00:18:18,228 --> 00:18:22,698
NO NO, YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO BE EMBARRASSING ME, FELLA.
345
00:18:22,702 --> 00:18:25,412
- WHOA WHOA!
- FIRST BREAKUP, PEOPLE.
346
00:18:25,405 --> 00:18:27,305
OH NO, THIS BREAKUP'S
NOT OVER!
347
00:18:27,307 --> 00:18:29,177
I'M CALLING YOU LATER!
348
00:18:35,315 --> 00:18:37,745
HERE IS
YOUR LAST CHECK.
349
00:18:37,747 --> 00:18:40,787
DO NOT
STAY IN TOUCH.
350
00:18:40,790 --> 00:18:42,620
I NEVER LIKED YOU.
351
00:18:45,555 --> 00:18:48,155
ATTEN-HUT!
352
00:18:48,158 --> 00:18:51,658
CORPORAL BULL S. KWIKKI
IS IN THE CORRAL.
353
00:18:51,661 --> 00:18:54,201
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
- EXCUSE ME, PARDNER.
354
00:18:56,366 --> 00:18:59,236
I HEARD THERE WAS SOME
FEUDING GOING ON DOWN HERE
355
00:18:59,239 --> 00:19:02,339
AT FRANCHISE 157.
356
00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:04,772
LABOR DISPUTE.
357
00:19:07,577 --> 00:19:09,717
MAY I SAY, CORPORAL,
358
00:19:09,719 --> 00:19:13,279
UM, YOU LOOK SOMEWHAT
BIGGER IN PERSON.
359
00:19:13,283 --> 00:19:15,363
UH, YES.
360
00:19:15,355 --> 00:19:18,285
WELL, THE PROMOTIONAL
DEPARTMENT
361
00:19:18,288 --> 00:19:20,388
THINKS I'M MORE RELATABLE
TO THE PEOPLES
362
00:19:20,390 --> 00:19:23,260
WHEN I'M ALL
SHRUNK DOWN LIKE THAT.
363
00:19:23,263 --> 00:19:25,643
LET ME ASK YOU, CORPORAL,
364
00:19:25,635 --> 00:19:28,265
WHERE EXACTLY
DID YOU COME FROM?
365
00:19:28,268 --> 00:19:31,338
OH, OUT YONDER.
366
00:19:32,742 --> 00:19:35,172
AND EXACTLY
WHICH STATE
367
00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:36,614
IS YONDER IN?
368
00:19:36,606 --> 00:19:40,546
SIR, THAT WOULD BE
THE GREAT STATE OF, UH...
369
00:19:42,212 --> 00:19:43,612
ALABAMA?
370
00:19:43,613 --> 00:19:46,763
WRONG!
EVERYONE KNOWS CORPORAL
BULL S. KWIKKI
371
00:19:46,756 --> 00:19:48,356
IS FROM NEW JERSEY.
372
00:19:50,260 --> 00:19:52,320
- OW.
- WHO IS THIS IMPOSTER?
373
00:19:52,322 --> 00:19:53,692
OKAY, I CAN EXPLAIN.
374
00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:57,573
WHAT IN TARNATION
IS GOING ON IN HERE?
375
00:19:57,567 --> 00:20:00,367
I DON'T BELIEVE IT!
THIS IS THE REAL
CORPORAL KWIKKI!
376
00:20:00,370 --> 00:20:03,430
- COME ON, HOW STUPID
DO YOU THINK I AM?
- ( growls )
377
00:20:03,433 --> 00:20:06,613
I DID NOT COME ALL THE WAY
FROM THE GREAT STATE
OF NEW JERSEY
378
00:20:06,606 --> 00:20:09,336
TO HAVE MY BEARD YANKED
BY A TROLL.
379
00:20:10,340 --> 00:20:11,440
OH MY GOODNESS,
IT REALLY IS YOU.
380
00:20:11,441 --> 00:20:13,311
CORPORAL KWIKKI,
IT'S AN HONOR, SIR.
381
00:20:13,313 --> 00:20:14,783
QUIT FLAPPING
YOUR GUMS, BOY,
382
00:20:14,784 --> 00:20:16,724
AND GIVE THESE KIDS
THEIR JOBS BACK.
383
00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:20,446
AND PAY US WHAT WE DESERVE--
MINIMUM WAGE!
384
00:20:20,450 --> 00:20:21,720
DONE AND DONE.
385
00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:23,991
NOW GO WRASSLE ME UP
SOME CURLY FRIES.
386
00:20:23,993 --> 00:20:27,503
I GOT A POWERFUL HUNGER
THAT CAN ONLY BE SATISFIED
387
00:20:27,497 --> 00:20:29,957
BY THE CURLIEST
OF FRIES.
388
00:20:31,501 --> 00:20:34,331
HOW DID I DO, P.J?
WAS IT--
389
00:20:34,334 --> 00:20:36,514
MR. KERN, THAT WAS AWESOME.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
390
00:20:36,506 --> 00:20:38,736
- WAIT A MINUTE.
MR. KERN YOUR SHOP TEACHER?
- YEAH.
391
00:20:38,738 --> 00:20:41,768
I'M TRYING TO BECOME
THE DRAMA TEACHER.
HOW DO YOU THINK I DID?
392
00:20:41,771 --> 00:20:44,571
- 'CAUSE I THINK I NAILED IT.
- OH, IT WAS AWESOME.
393
00:20:44,574 --> 00:20:47,654
HOWDY, Y'ALL.
BULL S. KWIKKI HERE.
394
00:20:50,950 --> 00:20:52,980
DAD, YOU'RE LATE.
395
00:20:52,982 --> 00:20:54,422
WE GOT IT COVERED.
396
00:20:54,424 --> 00:20:57,494
FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!
I TOOK OFF WORK FOR THIS?
397
00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:07,804
Hey, Charlie, listen,
don't have a lot of time.
398
00:21:07,797 --> 00:21:10,997
Gotta go meet Derek.
We're still breaking up.
399
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:13,040
Yeah yeah, you know,
400
00:21:13,042 --> 00:21:15,452
we'll just--
we'll continue to break up
401
00:21:15,445 --> 00:21:17,975
until he gets it right.
402
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:23,910
Mom, let's go.
We're gonna be late
for my game.
403
00:21:23,913 --> 00:21:27,393
Okay okay okay,
I have my thun-glathes,
404
00:21:27,387 --> 00:21:29,987
my keyth, my purthe.
What am I mithing?
405
00:21:31,821 --> 00:21:34,661
Your teeth.
406
00:21:37,427 --> 00:21:39,967
And who'th responthible
for that?
407
00:21:42,832 --> 00:21:45,842
Thorry.
408
00:21:45,835 --> 00:21:48,435
Hey, don't you
thathme, mister.
409
00:21:48,438 --> 00:21:49,708
( laughs )
410
00:21:49,709 --> 00:21:52,579
( mocking lisp )
Well, in this house
411
00:21:52,582 --> 00:21:54,442
it's always something.
412
00:21:54,444 --> 00:21:55,924
Hey, don'tyouthtart!
413
00:21:57,447 --> 00:21:58,987
Good luck, Charlie.
414
00:22:04,624 --> 00:22:09,004
AW, I DECLARE, SHE IS CUTER
THAN A DUCK'S BUTT.
415
00:22:11,060 --> 00:22:13,960
WELL, I HOPE YOU BOYS
IS HUNGRY.
416
00:22:13,963 --> 00:22:16,513
THE MISSUS IS
RUSTLING UP SOME GRUB.
417
00:22:16,506 --> 00:22:19,006
ANYTHING BUT CHICKEN, SON.
418
00:22:19,008 --> 00:22:21,868
( laughs )
WELL PLAYED, SIR.
WELL PLAYED.
419
00:22:21,871 --> 00:22:25,111
WELL, WHILE
WE'RE WAITING,
HOW ABOUT A SONG?
420
00:22:25,114 --> 00:22:27,024
THAT'S A FINE IDEA.
421
00:22:27,016 --> 00:22:29,416
DO YOU KNOW
ANY LADY GAGA?
422
00:22:29,419 --> 00:22:31,949
"HOME ON THE RANGE" IT IS.
423
00:22:33,653 --> 00:22:36,093
♪ OH, GIVE ME A HOME ♪
424
00:22:36,085 --> 00:22:39,025
♪ WHERE THE BUFFALO ROAM ♪
425
00:22:39,028 --> 00:22:44,028
♪ AND THE DEER
AND THE ANTELOPE PLAY ♪
426
00:22:44,033 --> 00:22:46,543
♪ WHERE THELDOM IS HEARD ♪
427
00:22:46,536 --> 00:22:48,836
♪ A DITHCOURAGIN' WORD ♪
428
00:22:48,838 --> 00:22:53,598
♪ AND THE THKIES ARE
NOT CLOUDY ALL DAY-EEE! ♪
429
00:22:57,577 --> 00:22:59,407
BACK OFF, GENTLEMEN,
430
00:22:59,409 --> 00:23:01,879
THAT TOOTHLESS DARLING'S
ALL MINE.
31408
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