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1
00:00:09,080 --> 00:00:11,280
- HEY!
- THERE YOU ARE.
2
00:00:11,282 --> 00:00:13,542
SO WHAT'S THE BIG NEWS
AND WHY DIDN'T YOU
JUST TEXT ME?
3
00:00:13,544 --> 00:00:15,554
BECAUSE I WANTED TO SEE
THE EXPRESSION ON YOUR FACE
4
00:00:15,546 --> 00:00:18,246
WHEN I TOLD YOU--
OKAY, HERE GOES:
5
00:00:18,249 --> 00:00:20,649
SO THAT REALLY
HOT SENIOR JOSH
6
00:00:20,651 --> 00:00:23,251
INVITED ME TO HIS PARTY
THIS WEEKEND.
7
00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:26,425
AND HE SAID I COULD
BRING A FRIEND.
8
00:00:26,427 --> 00:00:28,527
( squeals )
9
00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:31,259
SO TELL ME HOW IT ALL
WENT DOWN.
10
00:00:31,262 --> 00:00:32,762
OKAY OKAY OKAY.
11
00:00:32,763 --> 00:00:36,613
SO I WAS STANDING AT MY LOCKER
WHEN JOSH ASKED ME.
12
00:00:36,607 --> 00:00:38,667
I GOT SO NERVOUS I CLOSED
MY HAIR IN THE DOOR
13
00:00:38,669 --> 00:00:41,339
AND I HAD TO STAND THERE
LIKE THIS.
14
00:00:41,342 --> 00:00:43,612
WAIT A MINUTE.
15
00:00:43,614 --> 00:00:45,784
OUR MOMS WILL NEVER LET US
GO TO A SENIOR PARTY.
16
00:00:45,776 --> 00:00:50,176
- ALREADY SOLVED THAT.
- OOH, WE'RE GONNA LIE.
17
00:00:50,181 --> 00:00:52,821
- WE CAN'T.
YOU'RE A TERRIBLE LIAR.
- I AM NOT.
18
00:00:52,823 --> 00:00:55,663
YEAH YOU ARE.
WHENEVER YOU LIE,
YOUR VOICE GETS REALLY HIGH.
19
00:00:55,656 --> 00:00:57,786
( high-pitched )
HUH-UH!
20
00:00:57,788 --> 00:01:00,188
OKAY, SO HERE'S THE PLAN.
21
00:01:00,191 --> 00:01:02,691
YOU KNOW THAT APP THAT LETS YOU
CREATE FAKE PHONE CALLS?
22
00:01:02,693 --> 00:01:04,743
THAT WHAT
THAT CREATES WHAT?
23
00:01:04,735 --> 00:01:07,835
THERE'S A PHONE APP
THAT YOU CAN CREATE
FAKE PHONE CALLS WITH.
24
00:01:07,838 --> 00:01:10,268
ALL I HAVE TO DO IS RECORD
MY MOM SAYING SOME STUFF
25
00:01:10,271 --> 00:01:12,571
THAT SOUNDS LIKE
SHE'S GIVING ME PERMISSION
TO GO TO THE PARTY.
26
00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:15,283
AH, THEN WHEN MY MOM HEARS IT
27
00:01:15,276 --> 00:01:16,776
- SHE'LL LET ME GO.
- EXACTLY.
28
00:01:16,777 --> 00:01:19,607
AND WE GO TO THE PARTY AND JOSH
FALLS IN LOVE WITH ME.
29
00:01:19,610 --> 00:01:22,750
OH, AND HIS CUTE BEST FRIEND
FALLS IN LOVE WITH ME,
30
00:01:22,753 --> 00:01:24,763
BUT I TELL HIM THAT
I HAVE A BOYFRIEND,
31
00:01:24,755 --> 00:01:26,715
BUT HE DOESN'T TAKE NO
FOR AN ANSWER--
32
00:01:26,717 --> 00:01:29,457
- ARE YOU DONE?
- AND THEN
33
00:01:29,460 --> 00:01:31,720
THERE'S A THIRD GUY
THAT GETS INTERESTED...
34
00:01:32,723 --> 00:01:34,173
( rock music playing )
35
00:01:34,165 --> 00:01:35,725
♪ TODAY'S ALL BURNT TOAST ♪
36
00:01:35,726 --> 00:01:37,596
♪ RUNNING LATE,
AND DAD SAYS ♪
37
00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:40,428
♪ HAS ANYBODY
SEEN MY LEFT SHOE? ♪
38
00:01:40,431 --> 00:01:42,201
♪ I CLOSE MY EYES,
TAKE A BITE ♪
39
00:01:42,203 --> 00:01:43,673
♪ GRAB A RIDE,
LAUGH OUT LOUD ♪
40
00:01:43,674 --> 00:01:46,684
♪ THERE IT IS
UP ON THE ROOF ♪
41
00:01:46,677 --> 00:01:50,307
♪ I'VE BEEN THERE,
I'VE SURVIVED ♪
42
00:01:50,311 --> 00:01:53,581
♪ SO JUST TAKE
MY ADVICE ♪
43
00:01:53,584 --> 00:01:55,724
♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY ♪
44
00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:57,486
♪ THINGS ARE CRAZY ♪
45
00:01:57,488 --> 00:01:59,888
♪ BUT I KNOW
YOUR FUTURE'S BRIGHT ♪
46
00:01:59,890 --> 00:02:01,790
♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY ♪
47
00:02:01,792 --> 00:02:03,692
♪ THERE'S NO MAYBE ♪
48
00:02:03,694 --> 00:02:06,664
♪ EVERYTHING
TURNS OUT ALL RIGHT ♪
49
00:02:06,657 --> 00:02:08,897
♪ YOUR LIFE
IS UP AND DOWN ♪
50
00:02:08,899 --> 00:02:12,429
♪ BUT TRUST ME,
IT COMES BACK AROUND ♪
51
00:02:12,433 --> 00:02:16,273
♪ YOU'RE GONNA LOVE
WHO YOU TURN OUT TO BE ♪
52
00:02:17,668 --> 00:02:20,268
♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY. ♪
53
00:02:32,383 --> 00:02:35,493
OH, CHARLIE.
54
00:02:35,486 --> 00:02:37,886
YOU KNOW DADDY LOVES YOU,
55
00:02:37,888 --> 00:02:40,528
BUT DADDY'S PLAYED BABY
ABOUT 100 TIMES
56
00:02:40,531 --> 00:02:43,661
AND HE DOESN'T FEEL SO GOOD.
HE NEEDS TO REST.
57
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:48,566
OH, OKAY.
ALL RIGHT.
58
00:02:48,569 --> 00:02:51,599
OH, I KNOW!
LET'S PLAY
59
00:02:51,602 --> 00:02:53,472
BABY WATCHES DADDY
TAKE A NAP.
60
00:02:56,577 --> 00:02:58,777
AHA!
BOYS, I NEED YOUR HELP.
61
00:02:58,779 --> 00:03:02,279
- REALLY?
BIT BY A SPIDER. GOT
62
00:03:02,283 --> 00:03:04,823
YOU'RE AN EXTERMINATOR.
DOESN'T THAT HAPPEN EVERY DAY?
63
00:03:04,815 --> 00:03:09,215
WELL, THIS PARTICULAR SPIDER
ALLERGIC TO.BE MILDLY
64
00:03:09,220 --> 00:03:12,560
- ( yelling )
- THAT'S DISGUSTING!
65
00:03:12,563 --> 00:03:15,273
Gabe:
PLEASE, I THINK I'M GONNA BARF.
66
00:03:15,266 --> 00:03:18,596
THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR YOUR CONCERN.
67
00:03:18,599 --> 00:03:20,599
I WENT
AND I SAW THE DOCTOR.
68
00:03:20,601 --> 00:03:22,771
SHE SAYS THE SWELLING'S
GONNA BE GONE IN
A COUPLE OF DAYS
69
00:03:22,773 --> 00:03:25,583
OH, THAT'S REVOLTING.
( gags )
70
00:03:25,576 --> 00:03:28,276
ALTHOUGH IT DOES MAKE
YOUR TUMMY LOOK SMALLER.
71
00:03:28,279 --> 00:03:32,279
"GOSH, DAD,
HOW COULD I HELP?"
THANKS FOR ASKING.
72
00:03:32,283 --> 00:03:34,593
P.J., I NEED YOU TO COVER
FOR ME AT WORK TOMORROW.
73
00:03:34,585 --> 00:03:36,285
-( moans )
- I GOT A REALLY BUSY DAY.
74
00:03:36,287 --> 00:03:38,547
( sighs )
FINE, I'LL HELP.
75
00:03:38,549 --> 00:03:42,349
BUT I BETTER NOT
GET A GIANT ARM TOO.
I JUST BOUGHT SOME SHIRTS.
76
00:03:45,696 --> 00:03:47,296
GABE, I GOTTA GO
UPSTAIRS AND REST,
77
00:03:47,298 --> 00:03:48,798
SO I NEED YOU TO LOOK AFTER
CHARLIE, OKAY?
78
00:03:48,799 --> 00:03:50,729
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO
WITH CHARLIE?
79
00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:53,961
WHA-- YOU PLAY BABY
WITH HER.
80
00:03:53,964 --> 00:03:56,544
COME ON, SHE LOVES IT.
81
00:04:05,876 --> 00:04:07,876
FETCH.
82
00:04:22,563 --> 00:04:26,643
OKAY, IVY, I'M ABOUT TO LAUNCH
PHASE ONE OF OPERATION FOOL MOM.
83
00:04:26,637 --> 00:04:28,597
WHAT? NO.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
84
00:04:28,599 --> 00:04:31,599
I'M GONNA WEAR TO THE PARTY.
LET'S TRICK OUR MOMS FIRST.
85
00:04:35,576 --> 00:04:37,676
- HI MOM.
- HEY.
86
00:04:37,678 --> 00:04:41,308
WHAT? MOM,
I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU ALL DAY
AND ALL I GET IS A HEY?
87
00:04:41,312 --> 00:04:43,912
SORRY.
HI, TEDDY!
88
00:04:43,914 --> 00:04:47,894
UH, MOM, COULD YOU GET
THIS LOOSE THREAD
ON MY SWEATER?
89
00:04:47,888 --> 00:04:52,658
- WHERE IS IT?
- OH, MUST HAVE FALLEN OFF.
90
00:04:52,663 --> 00:04:54,803
THREADS.
91
00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:56,795
GO FIGURE.
92
00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:59,427
( forced laugh )
93
00:04:59,430 --> 00:05:00,670
HOW ARE YOU DOING?
94
00:05:02,703 --> 00:05:04,943
FINE.
OH, MOM,
95
00:05:04,935 --> 00:05:06,775
COULD I ASK YOU
A PERSONAL QUESTION?
96
00:05:06,777 --> 00:05:09,007
HONEY, OF COURSE YOU CAN.
97
00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:11,609
GREAT.
98
00:05:13,013 --> 00:05:15,793
WHAT'S-- WHAT'S--
WHAT'S THE QUESTION?
99
00:05:15,786 --> 00:05:18,986
OH, I DON'T HAVE ONE
RIGHT NOW.
100
00:05:18,989 --> 00:05:21,749
JUST...
101
00:05:21,752 --> 00:05:24,732
YOU KNOW, GOOD TO KNOW
FOR DOWN THE ROAD.
102
00:05:27,528 --> 00:05:29,728
SERIOUSLY,
HOW ARE YOU DOING?
103
00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:33,030
OH, MOM,
YOU TOOK SPANISH, RIGHT?
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?
104
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,874
( speaks Spanish )
105
00:05:36,867 --> 00:05:39,067
THAT MEANS
I LIKE THAT BOY.
HE'S VERY NICE.
106
00:05:40,511 --> 00:05:42,511
WAIT A MINUTE, I THOUGHT
YOU WERE TAKING FRENCH.
107
00:05:42,513 --> 00:05:44,653
OH, WOW.
108
00:05:44,645 --> 00:05:47,515
GUESS THAT'S WHY
I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND IT.
109
00:05:49,650 --> 00:05:52,020
- I LOVE YOU, MOM.
- I LOVE YOU TOO, HONEY.
110
00:05:54,685 --> 00:05:57,785
WEIRD-- I USUALLY HAVE
THOSE CONVERSATIONS WITH P.J.
111
00:05:59,730 --> 00:06:02,730
( ominous music playing )
112
00:06:32,493 --> 00:06:34,433
( yelps )
113
00:06:38,499 --> 00:06:39,799
( gasps )
114
00:06:44,675 --> 00:06:47,475
( whimpering )
DAD, MAKE IT STOP.
115
00:06:47,478 --> 00:06:50,778
- MAKE WHAT STOP?
- PLAY BABY.
116
00:06:50,781 --> 00:06:53,511
- THAT.
- ( laughs )
117
00:06:53,514 --> 00:06:56,554
EVERYWHERE I GO
THERE SHE IS:
"PLAY BABY,
118
00:06:56,547 --> 00:06:58,047
PLAY BABY,
PLAY BABY."
119
00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:02,890
I'M SORRY, SON,
BUT SOMEBODY HAS FINALLY
FOUND YOU LIKEABLE.
120
00:07:05,456 --> 00:07:07,726
WELL, I CAN'T TAKE IT
ANYMORE.
121
00:07:07,728 --> 00:07:09,758
I'M GOING TO THE LIBRARY.
122
00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:11,930
- THE LIBRARY?
- YEAH, DAD.
123
00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:13,732
IT'S COME TO THAT.
124
00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:16,874
- DO YOU EVEN KNOW
WHERE THE LIBRARY IS?
- I'LL FIND IT.
125
00:07:21,512 --> 00:07:23,072
-( car door closes )
- SHE'S COMING!
126
00:07:23,073 --> 00:07:24,823
OKAY, ARE YOU READY
WITH YOUR PHONE?
127
00:07:24,815 --> 00:07:25,845
READY.
128
00:07:25,846 --> 00:07:29,846
- OH, HI, MRS. WENTZ.
- HI, TEDDY.
129
00:07:29,850 --> 00:07:32,820
- IVY, DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME?
- NO.
130
00:07:32,823 --> 00:07:37,693
I HAVE BEEN HONKING
AND SCREAMING "IVY"
FOR 10 MINUTES.
131
00:07:37,688 --> 00:07:40,188
THAT WAS YOU?
132
00:07:40,190 --> 00:07:42,690
I KNOW SO MANY PEOPLE.
133
00:07:42,693 --> 00:07:46,843
- LET'S GO.
- BEFORE THAT, QUICK QUESTION.
134
00:07:46,837 --> 00:07:49,137
- WHAT?
- THERE'S A SENIOR BOY
NAMED JOSH
135
00:07:49,139 --> 00:07:51,869
AND HE INVITED TEDDY AND ME
TO A PARTY THIS WEEKEND.
CAN I GO?
136
00:07:51,872 --> 00:07:54,782
NOW, IVY,
YOU KNOW MY POLICY.
137
00:07:54,775 --> 00:07:57,145
UNLESS I'VE MET THE BOY,
THE ANSWER'S NO.
138
00:07:57,147 --> 00:07:59,947
AND I'M SURE TEDDY'S MOM
SAID THE SAME THING.
139
00:07:59,950 --> 00:08:02,480
OH WELL, ACTUALLY I HAVEN'T
ASKED MY MOM YET.
140
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:05,922
OH HEY, WHY DON'T I CALL
MY MOM AT WORK AND SEE
WHAT SHE SAYS?
141
00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:10,188
- ( rings )
- IT'S RINGING.
142
00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:14,490
- HI, MOM.
-Hi, Teddy.
143
00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:18,934
UH, MOM, I WAS CALLING TO SEE
IF I CAN GO TO A PARTY?
144
00:08:18,929 --> 00:08:21,269
-Where is it?
- IT'S AT MY FRIEND
JOSH'S HOUSE.
145
00:08:21,271 --> 00:08:23,571
YOU KNOW JOSH, RIGHT?
146
00:08:23,574 --> 00:08:25,214
I like that boy.
He's very nice.
147
00:08:28,739 --> 00:08:31,039
SO WHAT DO YOU SAY?
CAN I GO TO THE PARTY?
148
00:08:31,041 --> 00:08:33,811
Honey, of course you can.
149
00:08:35,886 --> 00:08:37,986
THANKS, MOM.
YOU'RE THE BEST.
150
00:08:37,988 --> 00:08:40,048
ALL RIGHT, I DON'T
WANT TO KEEP YOU.
LOVE YOU!
151
00:08:40,050 --> 00:08:41,750
Love you too, honey.
152
00:08:46,657 --> 00:08:49,127
SEE?
153
00:08:49,129 --> 00:08:51,929
TEDDY GETS TO GO.
154
00:08:51,932 --> 00:08:55,572
WELL, IF IT'S OKAY
WITH AMY.
155
00:08:55,566 --> 00:08:56,966
- ( beeps )
- IT'S OKAY WITH ME.
YOU CAN GO.
156
00:08:56,967 --> 00:08:58,807
- ( squeals )
- ( beeps )
157
00:08:58,809 --> 00:09:00,669
THANKS, MOM.
YOU'RE THE BEST.
158
00:09:00,671 --> 00:09:03,911
I like that boy.
He's very nice.
159
00:09:03,914 --> 00:09:05,724
WHAT WAS THAT?
160
00:09:05,716 --> 00:09:08,076
OH, I WAS JUST DOING
AN IMPRESSION OF MY MOM.
161
00:09:08,078 --> 00:09:11,048
I ALSO DO MY DAD.
162
00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:12,981
"TEDDY, GET IN HERE!"
163
00:09:14,755 --> 00:09:16,555
WHAT IS IT, DAD?
164
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,756
"WHO ATE THE LAST DONUT?"
165
00:09:18,759 --> 00:09:21,189
YOU DID, DAD.
166
00:09:21,191 --> 00:09:24,561
( chuckles )
WELL, WE'D BETTER
GET GOING.
167
00:09:32,873 --> 00:09:35,053
MMM, WHAT SMELLS SO GOOD?
168
00:09:35,045 --> 00:09:38,005
- HOT DOGS.
- OH.
169
00:09:38,008 --> 00:09:40,978
NOTHING MAKES
BOILED WATER SMELL BETTER
170
00:09:40,981 --> 00:09:43,051
THAN AMY DUNCAN'S
HOT DOGS.
171
00:09:45,115 --> 00:09:46,785
THIS SHOULD BE GOOD.
172
00:09:46,787 --> 00:09:48,987
UM, SO, MOM,
173
00:09:48,989 --> 00:09:51,589
I WAS WONDERING IF I COULD GO
TO A PARTY AT JOSH'S HOUSE.
174
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,921
HE'S THIS REALLY CUTE SENIOR.
YOU DON'T KNOW HIM.
175
00:09:53,924 --> 00:09:56,904
I'M SORRY,
TEDDY, THE ANSWER'S NO.
YOU KNOW MY POLICY.
176
00:09:56,897 --> 00:09:58,997
OH, COME ON!
IVY'S MOM IS LETTING
HER GO.
177
00:09:58,999 --> 00:10:01,899
- MARY LOU WENTZ
GAVE PERMISSION?
- YES.
178
00:10:01,902 --> 00:10:04,372
YES, SHE DID.
AND I CAN CALL HER IF YOU
WANT TO HEAR FROM HER.
179
00:10:06,236 --> 00:10:08,036
I'D LOVE TO.
180
00:10:09,339 --> 00:10:11,179
HI, MRS. WENTZ,
IT'S TEDDY DUNCAN.
181
00:10:11,181 --> 00:10:13,941
I'M GONNA PUT YOU
ON SPEAKER, OKAY?
182
00:10:13,944 --> 00:10:18,354
SO, MRS. WENTZ, YOU'RE LETTING
IVY GO TO THAT PARTY, RIGHT?
183
00:10:18,348 --> 00:10:19,918
It's okay with me.
184
00:10:22,022 --> 00:10:24,932
- ARE YOU SURE,
MARY LOU, BECAUSE--
-It's okay with me.
185
00:10:27,027 --> 00:10:29,327
- REALLY, YOU'RE NOT
THE LEAST BIT--
-It's okay with me.
186
00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:32,630
OOPS, LOST HER.
187
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,402
SO CAN I GO TO THE PARTY?
188
00:10:35,766 --> 00:10:37,836
WELL...
189
00:10:37,838 --> 00:10:39,938
IF IT'S OKAY WITH MARY LOU,
IT'S OKAY WITH ME.
190
00:10:39,940 --> 00:10:42,940
OOH, THANK YOU, MOMMY!
LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
191
00:10:42,943 --> 00:10:47,123
YEAH... NO ONE LOVES MOM MORE
THAN WHEN SHE'S SAYING YES.
192
00:10:51,051 --> 00:10:53,021
THAT WAS AN INTERESTING
PHONE CALL.
193
00:10:54,685 --> 00:10:56,185
WAS IT?
194
00:10:56,186 --> 00:10:58,286
YEAH.
195
00:10:58,288 --> 00:11:00,328
YEAH, IT WAS.
196
00:11:21,752 --> 00:11:23,682
HAVING FUN YET, KID?
197
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,793
NO, VERN, I AM NOT.
198
00:11:25,786 --> 00:11:28,016
FIRST TIME
IN A CRAWL SPACE?
199
00:11:28,018 --> 00:11:31,018
I CAN'T BELIEVE MY DAD
DOES THIS FOR A LIVING.
200
00:11:31,021 --> 00:11:34,291
I'M REALLY GONNA HAVE TO START
PAYING ATTENTION IN SCHOOL.
201
00:11:34,294 --> 00:11:36,004
- SHH!
-( squeaking )
202
00:11:35,996 --> 00:11:39,296
UH-OH, RATS.
203
00:11:39,299 --> 00:11:39,929
RATS?
204
00:11:39,930 --> 00:11:42,400
I THOUGHT WE WERE
CATCHING POSSUMS.
205
00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:45,212
SOMETIMES THE CRITTERS
MAKE THE DECISIONS.
206
00:11:47,277 --> 00:11:50,137
- WHERE ARE THE RATS?
- ALL AROUND US.
207
00:11:50,140 --> 00:11:52,180
-( squeaking continues )
- DOZENS.
208
00:11:52,182 --> 00:11:54,952
MAYBE HUNDREDS.
209
00:11:54,945 --> 00:11:57,015
( screams )
210
00:11:57,017 --> 00:12:00,117
QUIET.
IF THEY SMELL FEAR,
211
00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:01,320
WE'RE BOTH DEAD.
212
00:12:02,322 --> 00:12:04,192
( whimpering )
213
00:12:08,899 --> 00:12:11,099
THAT WAS HORRIFYING.
214
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:14,362
PASS THE SALT, KID.
215
00:12:16,767 --> 00:12:19,267
UH, THAT'S TERMITE POISON.
216
00:12:19,269 --> 00:12:22,209
YOU ONLY PUT THAT
ON A SANDWICH ONCE.
217
00:12:22,212 --> 00:12:24,072
WHOOPS.
SORRY.
218
00:12:26,016 --> 00:12:29,076
WELL, IT'S NICE
TO FINALLY MEET YOU.
219
00:12:29,079 --> 00:12:31,049
YOUR DAD SURE TALKS
ABOUT YOU A LOT.
220
00:12:31,051 --> 00:12:33,351
- HE DOES?
- ALL THE TIME.
221
00:12:33,353 --> 00:12:36,163
GOES ON AND ON ABOUT YOU--
HOW YOU'RE SMART,
222
00:12:36,156 --> 00:12:37,956
DRIVEN, POPULAR.
223
00:12:37,958 --> 00:12:40,988
- HE SAID ALL THAT ABOUT ME?
- OH YEAH.
224
00:12:40,991 --> 00:12:43,061
HE'S VERY PROUD.
225
00:12:44,865 --> 00:12:46,995
WELL, LUNCH BREAK'S
OVER, TED.
226
00:12:47,998 --> 00:12:49,838
TED?
TED?!
227
00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:52,240
OH, TEDDY'S MY SISTER.
228
00:12:52,242 --> 00:12:55,182
OH, THEN YOU MUST
BE THE SELF-CONFIDENT
229
00:12:55,175 --> 00:12:57,075
SHARP-AS-A-TACK
MISCHIEF-MAKER.
230
00:12:57,077 --> 00:12:59,507
THAT'S GABE.
231
00:12:59,509 --> 00:13:01,409
HMM.
232
00:13:01,411 --> 00:13:05,191
YOU'RE THE LITTLE CUTIE PIE
WHO JUST GOT OUT OF DIAPERS?
233
00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:09,016
I'M THE OLDEST!
234
00:13:09,019 --> 00:13:11,089
- P.J.?
- OH RIGHT, OF COURSE.
235
00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:12,891
P.J.--
YOU'RE THE NICE ONE.
236
00:13:12,893 --> 00:13:15,173
THAT'S IT?
237
00:13:15,165 --> 00:13:18,295
EVERYONE ELSE IS SHARP,
238
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:19,898
SMART AND ADORABLE
239
00:13:19,900 --> 00:13:22,330
AND I'M JUST NICE?
240
00:13:23,573 --> 00:13:26,513
I KNOW WHAT'LL TURN
THAT FROWN UPSIDE DOWN.
241
00:13:28,979 --> 00:13:31,079
YOU GET TO CARRY
THE RAT BAG.
242
00:13:36,086 --> 00:13:37,846
( doorbell rings )
243
00:13:39,589 --> 00:13:42,149
- HI, AMY.
- HI, MARY LOU!
COME ON IN.
244
00:13:42,152 --> 00:13:44,822
- OKAY.
- WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE?
245
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,134
IVY FORGOT HER BOA.
246
00:13:46,126 --> 00:13:49,226
NOW IF SHE'S
GOING TO A PARTY,
SHE NEEDS HER BOA.
247
00:13:50,961 --> 00:13:53,001
THEY JUST LEFT,
BUT DON'T WORRY--
248
00:13:53,003 --> 00:13:55,843
THE LEOPARD-PRINT DRESS
WILL BE FESTIVE ENOUGH.
249
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:58,305
I GOTTA SAY, AMY,
I WAS A BIT SURPRISED
250
00:13:58,308 --> 00:14:01,038
YOU GAVE TEDDY PERMISSION
TO GO TO THAT PARTY.
251
00:14:01,041 --> 00:14:05,081
WELL, I ONLY SAID YES
TO TEDDY BECAUSE YOU GAVE
IVY PERMISSION FIRST.
252
00:14:05,075 --> 00:14:07,845
YOU KNOW HOW MUCH
I RESPECT YOU AS A MOTHER.
CRACKER?
253
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:10,047
OH, THANK YOU.
254
00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:13,250
BUT YOU GAVE TEDDY
PERMISSION FIRST
255
00:14:13,253 --> 00:14:15,593
AND I SAID YES BECAUSE
OF HOW MUCH I RESPECT YOU.
256
00:14:15,585 --> 00:14:17,555
OKAY, YEAH YEAH YEAH,
BEST MOMS EVER.
257
00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:21,327
I'M TRYING TO WATCH
MY CARTOONS HERE.
258
00:14:21,331 --> 00:14:24,261
I-- I DIDN'T GIVE
TEDDY PERMISSION FIRST.
259
00:14:24,264 --> 00:14:26,004
BUT I HEARD TEDDY
CALL YOU AT WORK.
260
00:14:25,996 --> 00:14:28,636
NO, TEDDY NEVER
CALLED ME AT WORK.
I'M CONFUSED.
261
00:14:28,638 --> 00:14:31,938
- YEAH, ME TOO.
- MAY I ENLIGHTEN YOU?
262
00:14:34,304 --> 00:14:37,314
- SPILL IT.
- THE GIRLS USED A PHONE APP
TO MAKE IT SOUND LIKE
263
00:14:37,307 --> 00:14:39,307
YOU EACH GAVE THEM PERMISSION
TO GO TO THE PARTY.
264
00:14:39,309 --> 00:14:40,879
- WHAT?
- THEY DIDN'T!
265
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:44,450
OH, MARY LOU, BUT THEY DID.
266
00:14:46,316 --> 00:14:49,016
NOW, MOM,
SO NEXT TIME I'M BAD--
267
00:14:49,019 --> 00:14:52,519
( laughs )
WE BOTH KNOW THERE
WILL BE A NEXT TIME--
268
00:14:52,522 --> 00:14:55,372
JUST REMEMBER THIS MOMENT
WHEN I DID SOMETHING FOR YOU.
269
00:14:56,967 --> 00:14:59,297
THEY ARE GONNA BE IN SO MUCH
TROUBLE WHEN THEY GET HOME.
270
00:14:59,299 --> 00:15:03,029
WHY WAIT TILL THEY GET HOME?
THEY'RE NOT THE ONLY ONES
WHO KNOW ABOUT APPS.
271
00:15:03,033 --> 00:15:04,503
NO, THEY AREN'T.
272
00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:06,984
WHAT DO WE KNOW ABOUT APPS?
273
00:15:08,338 --> 00:15:11,238
I HAVE A G.P.S. APP
ON THIS PHONE.
274
00:15:11,241 --> 00:15:14,611
THAT MEANS I CAN TRACK
IVY'S PHONE.
275
00:15:14,614 --> 00:15:17,654
SHALL WE GO TO A PARTY?
276
00:15:17,647 --> 00:15:19,547
I'D BE "APPY" TO.
277
00:15:29,399 --> 00:15:31,629
- ( rings )
- HELLO?
278
00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:34,301
TEDDY DEAR, GABE HERE.
279
00:15:34,304 --> 00:15:38,544
BEFORE I SHARE THE NEWS,
LET'S REMEMBER THIS MOMENT
THE NEXT TIME I NEED A FAVOR.
280
00:15:38,538 --> 00:15:42,468
WHY DO ALL OF YOUR CALLS START
WITH THE SAME CREEPY QUESTION?
281
00:15:44,414 --> 00:15:47,424
MOM AND MRS. WENTZ KNOW ALL
ABOUT THE PHONY PHONE CALLS.
282
00:15:47,417 --> 00:15:49,947
WHAT?!
HOW'D THEY FIND OUT?
283
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:53,479
THAT PART REMAINS A MYSTERY.
ANYWHO...
284
00:15:53,483 --> 00:15:56,363
THEY'RE TRACKING YOU ON G.P.S.
AND HEADING YOUR WAY.
285
00:15:56,356 --> 00:15:58,726
WHAT? OUR MOMS ARE
TRACKING US ON G.P.S.
286
00:15:58,728 --> 00:16:01,658
G.P.S.?
THEY'RE NOT SUPPOSED
TO KNOW ABOUT THAT.
287
00:16:03,293 --> 00:16:05,273
OH GOSH, THANKS, GABE.
I OWE YOU ONE.
288
00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:08,435
SO IT WOULD SEEM.
289
00:16:08,438 --> 00:16:10,638
( cackling )
290
00:16:21,581 --> 00:16:25,521
THERE YOU ARE.
I THINK CHARLIE WANTS
TO PLAY BABY WITH YOU.
291
00:16:25,515 --> 00:16:28,355
SHE KEEPS GOING,
"GABE, GABE!"
292
00:16:28,358 --> 00:16:31,318
SHE CAN SAY IT ALL SHE WANTS.
IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN.
293
00:16:31,321 --> 00:16:34,321
I'M SICK OF HER AND I'M SICK
OF THAT STUPID DOLL.
294
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:42,699
OH, CHARLIE, COME ON!
I DIDN'T MEAN IT.
295
00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:44,302
I WAS JUST GABE
BEING GABE.
296
00:16:48,138 --> 00:16:51,408
HEY, THERE HE IS!
HOW'D IT GO TODAY?
297
00:16:51,411 --> 00:16:53,381
( snorts )
THE HIGHLIGHT OF MY DAY
298
00:16:53,383 --> 00:16:55,793
WAS CARRYING A BAG OF RATS.
299
00:16:58,388 --> 00:17:02,048
VERN MUST LIKE YOU
BECAUSE HE'S AWFUL PARTICULAR
ABOUT HIS RAT BAG.
300
00:17:03,423 --> 00:17:06,133
VERN TOLD ME WHAT YOU SAID
ABOUT US KIDS.
301
00:17:06,126 --> 00:17:08,656
- WHAT'D I SAY?
- THAT EVERYONE ELSE IS SO GREAT
302
00:17:08,658 --> 00:17:11,198
AND I'M JUST NICE.
303
00:17:11,201 --> 00:17:13,501
SO?
304
00:17:13,503 --> 00:17:15,343
YOU'RE NICE,
WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?
305
00:17:15,335 --> 00:17:17,465
SO "NICE" IS WHAT YOUR FRIEND
CALLS THE UGLY GIRL
306
00:17:17,467 --> 00:17:19,367
HE WANTS YOU
TO GO OUT WITH.
307
00:17:19,369 --> 00:17:21,239
IS THAT ALL
I AM TO YOU--
308
00:17:21,241 --> 00:17:23,141
AN UGLY GIRL?
309
00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:33,050
OH, THIS IS SO EXCITING--
310
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:35,232
GOING AFTER THE PERPS.
311
00:17:37,157 --> 00:17:39,387
WAIT, THE GIRLS
ARE TURNING AROUND.
312
00:17:39,389 --> 00:17:42,359
- WHAT?
- LOOKS LIKE THEY'RE HEADED
BACK TO YOUR HOUSE.
313
00:17:44,164 --> 00:17:46,474
HOLD ON YOUR
YOUR PURSE, MARY LOU.
WE'RE MAKING A U-EY.
314
00:17:46,466 --> 00:17:49,236
( tires screech )
315
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:52,340
OH YEAH!
316
00:17:52,342 --> 00:17:54,342
- YOU KNOW WHAT
WOULD BE GREAT?
-WHAT?
317
00:17:54,344 --> 00:17:56,384
IF WE HAD A SIREN
AND A FLASHING LIGHT.
318
00:17:56,376 --> 00:17:58,676
- ( beeps )
- ( siren blaring )
319
00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:03,550
THEY GOT APPS
FOR EVERYTHING.
320
00:18:09,859 --> 00:18:11,559
HEY.
321
00:18:13,393 --> 00:18:16,333
- I THINK WE GOTTA TALK.
- I'M NOT IN THE MOOD.
322
00:18:16,326 --> 00:18:19,366
OH, THAT WASN'T VERY NICE.
323
00:18:21,531 --> 00:18:24,831
OH COME ON.
WHEN I SAID YOU WERE NICE
THAT WAS A COMPLIMENT.
324
00:18:24,834 --> 00:18:28,544
- THAT WAS THE BEST THING
YOU COULD SAY ABOUT ME?
- I THINK THAT SAYS A LOT.
325
00:18:29,539 --> 00:18:31,739
LOOK, P.J.,
326
00:18:32,782 --> 00:18:35,322
AS A FATHER,
THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO ME
327
00:18:35,315 --> 00:18:37,485
IS THAT MY KIDS ARE
GOOD PEOPLE--
328
00:18:37,487 --> 00:18:41,817
KIND-HEARTED, GENUINELY
CONCERNED ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE...
329
00:18:41,821 --> 00:18:43,751
NICE.
330
00:18:45,455 --> 00:18:49,455
HEY, BY THAT STANDARD
YOU'RE THE KID I'M MOST
PROUD OF.
331
00:18:50,700 --> 00:18:52,760
- REALLY?
- REALLY.
332
00:18:55,335 --> 00:18:56,835
THANKS, DAD.
333
00:18:56,836 --> 00:19:00,606
HEY, THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME
OUT ON THE JOB TODAY.
334
00:19:02,242 --> 00:19:03,772
UH, YOU KNOW, I WAS KINDA
335
00:19:03,773 --> 00:19:06,453
HOPING MAYBE SOMEDAY WE COULD
336
00:19:06,446 --> 00:19:08,916
MAKE THAT A PERMANENT THING.
337
00:19:11,481 --> 00:19:13,221
"DUNCAN & SON."
338
00:19:13,223 --> 00:19:14,623
OH!
339
00:19:14,624 --> 00:19:16,864
THAT REMINDS ME--
BETTER HIT THOSE BOOKS.
340
00:19:22,592 --> 00:19:24,892
WELL, THAT WASN'T NICE AT ALL.
341
00:19:31,601 --> 00:19:32,901
( door opens )
342
00:19:34,504 --> 00:19:37,614
OH, WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING HERE?
DID THE PARTY END EARLY?
343
00:19:37,607 --> 00:19:39,907
NO, WE DECIDED
NOT TO GO.
344
00:19:39,909 --> 00:19:42,679
THE TRUTH IS
345
00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:45,592
WE TRICKED YOU INTO GIVING US
PERMISSION TO GO TO THE PARTY.
346
00:19:45,585 --> 00:19:48,315
DID YOU NOW?
347
00:19:49,619 --> 00:19:52,519
YES, I'M ASHAMED
TO SAY WE DID.
348
00:19:52,522 --> 00:19:56,272
BUT ON THE WAY THERE SOMETHING
MADE US CHANGE OUR MINDS.
349
00:19:56,266 --> 00:19:57,626
AND WHAT'S THAT?
350
00:19:57,627 --> 00:19:59,927
WE SAW THE GRAPE JUICE
BILLBOARD.
351
00:19:59,929 --> 00:20:02,469
YOU KNOW THE ONE WHERE
THE GIRL IS HUGGING HER MOM
352
00:20:02,472 --> 00:20:04,532
BECAUSE SHE'S SO HAPPY
WITH THE JUICE?
353
00:20:07,307 --> 00:20:10,507
"GRAPE MOMS THINK ALIKE,"
I'M FAMILIAR WITH IT.
354
00:20:12,282 --> 00:20:15,892
ANYWAY THAT GOT US TO THINKING
ABOUT HOW WONDERFUL YOU TWO ARE
355
00:20:15,885 --> 00:20:19,215
AND WE TALKED IT OVER AND AGREED
THAT YOU DESERVED BETTER
356
00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:21,648
AND DECIDED NOT TO GO.
357
00:20:21,651 --> 00:20:23,591
( high-pitched )
IT'S TRUE.
358
00:20:25,925 --> 00:20:27,955
( clears throat )
359
00:20:27,957 --> 00:20:31,957
ANYWAY, WE KNOW YOU'RE
PROBABLY GONNA PUNISH US,
360
00:20:31,961 --> 00:20:33,861
BUT WE'RE OKAY WITH THAT.
361
00:20:36,336 --> 00:20:40,406
WELL, WE CAN TALK
ABOUT THAT LATER.
362
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:45,621
I'M REALLY PROUD THAT
YOU GUYS TOLD US THE TRUTH.
363
00:20:45,615 --> 00:20:47,715
I AM TOO.
364
00:20:50,620 --> 00:20:52,850
DARN YOU
FOR RAISING US SO WELL.
365
00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:57,294
IT'S WHAT I DO.
366
00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:07,674
HEY, IVY, I'M ON MY WAY OUT.
ARE YOU HERE?
367
00:21:07,667 --> 00:21:09,537
I'M RIGHT IN FRONT
OF YOUR HOUSE.
368
00:21:09,539 --> 00:21:11,339
ARE YOU SURE
IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO GO?
369
00:21:11,341 --> 00:21:14,041
OH, GIRLFRIEND,
THESE SENIOR PARTIES
GO ALL NIGHT.
370
00:21:14,043 --> 00:21:16,883
- GOING SOMEWHERE?
- BACK TO BED.
371
00:21:16,876 --> 00:21:18,406
YOU GOT THAT RIGHT.
372
00:21:20,510 --> 00:21:22,580
CAUGHT BY MOM.
CAN'T GO.
373
00:21:22,582 --> 00:21:26,592
- IF YOU'RE NOT GOING,
I'M NOT GOING.
- YOU GOT THAT RIGHT.
374
00:21:36,866 --> 00:21:38,626
HI, CHARLIE.
375
00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:43,600
CHARLIE, COME ON.
376
00:21:43,603 --> 00:21:46,013
HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE
TO SAY I'M SORRY?
377
00:21:49,308 --> 00:21:51,308
WHAT IS IT GONNA TAKE
FOR YOU TO FORGIVE ME?
378
00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:53,440
YOU BABY.
379
00:21:53,443 --> 00:21:55,893
"YOU BABY"?
380
00:21:55,885 --> 00:21:57,715
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
381
00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:04,690
Well, Charlie, I don't know
how you got him to do that,
382
00:22:04,694 --> 00:22:07,034
but thank you.
We'll be enjoying this
for years.
383
00:22:07,026 --> 00:22:09,856
( baby-talking )
Now say good luck, Charlie.
384
00:22:11,801 --> 00:22:15,411
Do you want me to spit up?
'Cause I'm not afraid
to go there.
385
00:22:16,606 --> 00:22:18,766
Cranky baby.
386
00:22:23,873 --> 00:22:25,923
( siren blares,
helicopter whirring )
387
00:22:25,915 --> 00:22:28,915
Man on P.A.:
We've got the house surrounded.
Come out with your hands up.
388
00:22:31,881 --> 00:22:34,821
HEY, HOW'S IT GOING?
GOOD GOOD.
389
00:22:34,824 --> 00:22:37,364
REMEMBER A FEW WEEKS AGO
I MENTIONED SOMETHING ABOUT
390
00:22:37,356 --> 00:22:38,986
CASHING IN MY FAVORS?
391
00:22:38,988 --> 00:22:42,688
WELL, TODAY'S THE DAY.
YOU TWO NEVER SAW ME.
392
00:22:42,692 --> 00:22:45,572
BYE-BYE NOW.
393
00:22:45,565 --> 00:22:48,465
-( pounding on door )
- COME IN.
394
00:22:49,869 --> 00:22:51,899
HE'S UPSTAIRS, BOYS.
395
00:22:55,905 --> 00:22:59,375
- WHY'D YOU GIVE HIM UP, MOM?
- HE DIDN'T DO THE DISHES.
396
00:22:59,378 --> 00:23:02,448
DON'T CROSS MAMA.
397
00:23:02,452 --> 00:23:04,452
( theme music playing )
29350
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