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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,080 --> 00:00:11,280 - HEY! - THERE YOU ARE. 2 00:00:11,282 --> 00:00:13,542 SO WHAT'S THE BIG NEWS AND WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST TEXT ME? 3 00:00:13,544 --> 00:00:15,554 BECAUSE I WANTED TO SEE THE EXPRESSION ON YOUR FACE 4 00:00:15,546 --> 00:00:18,246 WHEN I TOLD YOU-- OKAY, HERE GOES: 5 00:00:18,249 --> 00:00:20,649 SO THAT REALLY HOT SENIOR JOSH 6 00:00:20,651 --> 00:00:23,251 INVITED ME TO HIS PARTY THIS WEEKEND. 7 00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:26,425 AND HE SAID I COULD BRING A FRIEND. 8 00:00:26,427 --> 00:00:28,527 ( squeals ) 9 00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:31,259 SO TELL ME HOW IT ALL WENT DOWN. 10 00:00:31,262 --> 00:00:32,762 OKAY OKAY OKAY. 11 00:00:32,763 --> 00:00:36,613 SO I WAS STANDING AT MY LOCKER WHEN JOSH ASKED ME. 12 00:00:36,607 --> 00:00:38,667 I GOT SO NERVOUS I CLOSED MY HAIR IN THE DOOR 13 00:00:38,669 --> 00:00:41,339 AND I HAD TO STAND THERE LIKE THIS. 14 00:00:41,342 --> 00:00:43,612 WAIT A MINUTE. 15 00:00:43,614 --> 00:00:45,784 OUR MOMS WILL NEVER LET US GO TO A SENIOR PARTY. 16 00:00:45,776 --> 00:00:50,176 - ALREADY SOLVED THAT. - OOH, WE'RE GONNA LIE. 17 00:00:50,181 --> 00:00:52,821 - WE CAN'T. YOU'RE A TERRIBLE LIAR. - I AM NOT. 18 00:00:52,823 --> 00:00:55,663 YEAH YOU ARE. WHENEVER YOU LIE, YOUR VOICE GETS REALLY HIGH. 19 00:00:55,656 --> 00:00:57,786 ( high-pitched ) HUH-UH! 20 00:00:57,788 --> 00:01:00,188 OKAY, SO HERE'S THE PLAN. 21 00:01:00,191 --> 00:01:02,691 YOU KNOW THAT APP THAT LETS YOU CREATE FAKE PHONE CALLS? 22 00:01:02,693 --> 00:01:04,743 THAT WHAT THAT CREATES WHAT? 23 00:01:04,735 --> 00:01:07,835 THERE'S A PHONE APP THAT YOU CAN CREATE FAKE PHONE CALLS WITH. 24 00:01:07,838 --> 00:01:10,268 ALL I HAVE TO DO IS RECORD MY MOM SAYING SOME STUFF 25 00:01:10,271 --> 00:01:12,571 THAT SOUNDS LIKE SHE'S GIVING ME PERMISSION TO GO TO THE PARTY. 26 00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:15,283 AH, THEN WHEN MY MOM HEARS IT 27 00:01:15,276 --> 00:01:16,776 - SHE'LL LET ME GO. - EXACTLY. 28 00:01:16,777 --> 00:01:19,607 AND WE GO TO THE PARTY AND JOSH FALLS IN LOVE WITH ME. 29 00:01:19,610 --> 00:01:22,750 OH, AND HIS CUTE BEST FRIEND FALLS IN LOVE WITH ME, 30 00:01:22,753 --> 00:01:24,763 BUT I TELL HIM THAT I HAVE A BOYFRIEND, 31 00:01:24,755 --> 00:01:26,715 BUT HE DOESN'T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER-- 32 00:01:26,717 --> 00:01:29,457 - ARE YOU DONE? - AND THEN 33 00:01:29,460 --> 00:01:31,720 THERE'S A THIRD GUY THAT GETS INTERESTED... 34 00:01:32,723 --> 00:01:34,173 ( rock music playing ) 35 00:01:34,165 --> 00:01:35,725 ♪ TODAY'S ALL BURNT TOAST ♪ 36 00:01:35,726 --> 00:01:37,596 ♪ RUNNING LATE, AND DAD SAYS ♪ 37 00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:40,428 ♪ HAS ANYBODY SEEN MY LEFT SHOE? ♪ 38 00:01:40,431 --> 00:01:42,201 ♪ I CLOSE MY EYES, TAKE A BITE ♪ 39 00:01:42,203 --> 00:01:43,673 ♪ GRAB A RIDE, LAUGH OUT LOUD ♪ 40 00:01:43,674 --> 00:01:46,684 ♪ THERE IT IS UP ON THE ROOF ♪ 41 00:01:46,677 --> 00:01:50,307 ♪ I'VE BEEN THERE, I'VE SURVIVED ♪ 42 00:01:50,311 --> 00:01:53,581 ♪ SO JUST TAKE MY ADVICE ♪ 43 00:01:53,584 --> 00:01:55,724 ♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY ♪ 44 00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:57,486 ♪ THINGS ARE CRAZY ♪ 45 00:01:57,488 --> 00:01:59,888 ♪ BUT I KNOW YOUR FUTURE'S BRIGHT ♪ 46 00:01:59,890 --> 00:02:01,790 ♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY ♪ 47 00:02:01,792 --> 00:02:03,692 ♪ THERE'S NO MAYBE ♪ 48 00:02:03,694 --> 00:02:06,664 ♪ EVERYTHING TURNS OUT ALL RIGHT ♪ 49 00:02:06,657 --> 00:02:08,897 ♪ YOUR LIFE IS UP AND DOWN ♪ 50 00:02:08,899 --> 00:02:12,429 ♪ BUT TRUST ME, IT COMES BACK AROUND ♪ 51 00:02:12,433 --> 00:02:16,273 ♪ YOU'RE GONNA LOVE WHO YOU TURN OUT TO BE ♪ 52 00:02:17,668 --> 00:02:20,268 ♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY. ♪ 53 00:02:32,383 --> 00:02:35,493 OH, CHARLIE. 54 00:02:35,486 --> 00:02:37,886 YOU KNOW DADDY LOVES YOU, 55 00:02:37,888 --> 00:02:40,528 BUT DADDY'S PLAYED BABY ABOUT 100 TIMES 56 00:02:40,531 --> 00:02:43,661 AND HE DOESN'T FEEL SO GOOD. HE NEEDS TO REST. 57 00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:48,566 OH, OKAY. ALL RIGHT. 58 00:02:48,569 --> 00:02:51,599 OH, I KNOW! LET'S PLAY 59 00:02:51,602 --> 00:02:53,472 BABY WATCHES DADDY TAKE A NAP. 60 00:02:56,577 --> 00:02:58,777 AHA! BOYS, I NEED YOUR HELP. 61 00:02:58,779 --> 00:03:02,279 - REALLY? BIT BY A SPIDER. GOT 62 00:03:02,283 --> 00:03:04,823 YOU'RE AN EXTERMINATOR. DOESN'T THAT HAPPEN EVERY DAY? 63 00:03:04,815 --> 00:03:09,215 WELL, THIS PARTICULAR SPIDER ALLERGIC TO.BE MILDLY 64 00:03:09,220 --> 00:03:12,560 - ( yelling ) - THAT'S DISGUSTING! 65 00:03:12,563 --> 00:03:15,273 Gabe: PLEASE, I THINK I'M GONNA BARF. 66 00:03:15,266 --> 00:03:18,596 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR CONCERN. 67 00:03:18,599 --> 00:03:20,599 I WENT AND I SAW THE DOCTOR. 68 00:03:20,601 --> 00:03:22,771 SHE SAYS THE SWELLING'S GONNA BE GONE IN A COUPLE OF DAYS 69 00:03:22,773 --> 00:03:25,583 OH, THAT'S REVOLTING. ( gags ) 70 00:03:25,576 --> 00:03:28,276 ALTHOUGH IT DOES MAKE YOUR TUMMY LOOK SMALLER. 71 00:03:28,279 --> 00:03:32,279 "GOSH, DAD, HOW COULD I HELP?" THANKS FOR ASKING. 72 00:03:32,283 --> 00:03:34,593 P.J., I NEED YOU TO COVER FOR ME AT WORK TOMORROW. 73 00:03:34,585 --> 00:03:36,285 -( moans ) - I GOT A REALLY BUSY DAY. 74 00:03:36,287 --> 00:03:38,547 ( sighs ) FINE, I'LL HELP. 75 00:03:38,549 --> 00:03:42,349 BUT I BETTER NOT GET A GIANT ARM TOO. I JUST BOUGHT SOME SHIRTS. 76 00:03:45,696 --> 00:03:47,296 GABE, I GOTTA GO UPSTAIRS AND REST, 77 00:03:47,298 --> 00:03:48,798 SO I NEED YOU TO LOOK AFTER CHARLIE, OKAY? 78 00:03:48,799 --> 00:03:50,729 WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH CHARLIE? 79 00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:53,961 WHA-- YOU PLAY BABY WITH HER. 80 00:03:53,964 --> 00:03:56,544 COME ON, SHE LOVES IT. 81 00:04:05,876 --> 00:04:07,876 FETCH. 82 00:04:22,563 --> 00:04:26,643 OKAY, IVY, I'M ABOUT TO LAUNCH PHASE ONE OF OPERATION FOOL MOM. 83 00:04:26,637 --> 00:04:28,597 WHAT? NO. I DON'T KNOW WHAT 84 00:04:28,599 --> 00:04:31,599 I'M GONNA WEAR TO THE PARTY. LET'S TRICK OUR MOMS FIRST. 85 00:04:35,576 --> 00:04:37,676 - HI MOM. - HEY. 86 00:04:37,678 --> 00:04:41,308 WHAT? MOM, I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU ALL DAY AND ALL I GET IS A HEY? 87 00:04:41,312 --> 00:04:43,912 SORRY. HI, TEDDY! 88 00:04:43,914 --> 00:04:47,894 UH, MOM, COULD YOU GET THIS LOOSE THREAD ON MY SWEATER? 89 00:04:47,888 --> 00:04:52,658 - WHERE IS IT? - OH, MUST HAVE FALLEN OFF. 90 00:04:52,663 --> 00:04:54,803 THREADS. 91 00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:56,795 GO FIGURE. 92 00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:59,427 ( forced laugh ) 93 00:04:59,430 --> 00:05:00,670 HOW ARE YOU DOING? 94 00:05:02,703 --> 00:05:04,943 FINE. OH, MOM, 95 00:05:04,935 --> 00:05:06,775 COULD I ASK YOU A PERSONAL QUESTION? 96 00:05:06,777 --> 00:05:09,007 HONEY, OF COURSE YOU CAN. 97 00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:11,609 GREAT. 98 00:05:13,013 --> 00:05:15,793 WHAT'S-- WHAT'S-- WHAT'S THE QUESTION? 99 00:05:15,786 --> 00:05:18,986 OH, I DON'T HAVE ONE RIGHT NOW. 100 00:05:18,989 --> 00:05:21,749 JUST... 101 00:05:21,752 --> 00:05:24,732 YOU KNOW, GOOD TO KNOW FOR DOWN THE ROAD. 102 00:05:27,528 --> 00:05:29,728 SERIOUSLY, HOW ARE YOU DOING? 103 00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:33,030 OH, MOM, YOU TOOK SPANISH, RIGHT? WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? 104 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,874 ( speaks Spanish ) 105 00:05:36,867 --> 00:05:39,067 THAT MEANS I LIKE THAT BOY. HE'S VERY NICE. 106 00:05:40,511 --> 00:05:42,511 WAIT A MINUTE, I THOUGHT YOU WERE TAKING FRENCH. 107 00:05:42,513 --> 00:05:44,653 OH, WOW. 108 00:05:44,645 --> 00:05:47,515 GUESS THAT'S WHY I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND IT. 109 00:05:49,650 --> 00:05:52,020 - I LOVE YOU, MOM. - I LOVE YOU TOO, HONEY. 110 00:05:54,685 --> 00:05:57,785 WEIRD-- I USUALLY HAVE THOSE CONVERSATIONS WITH P.J. 111 00:05:59,730 --> 00:06:02,730 ( ominous music playing ) 112 00:06:32,493 --> 00:06:34,433 ( yelps ) 113 00:06:38,499 --> 00:06:39,799 ( gasps ) 114 00:06:44,675 --> 00:06:47,475 ( whimpering ) DAD, MAKE IT STOP. 115 00:06:47,478 --> 00:06:50,778 - MAKE WHAT STOP? - PLAY BABY. 116 00:06:50,781 --> 00:06:53,511 - THAT. - ( laughs ) 117 00:06:53,514 --> 00:06:56,554 EVERYWHERE I GO THERE SHE IS: "PLAY BABY, 118 00:06:56,547 --> 00:06:58,047 PLAY BABY, PLAY BABY." 119 00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:02,890 I'M SORRY, SON, BUT SOMEBODY HAS FINALLY FOUND YOU LIKEABLE. 120 00:07:05,456 --> 00:07:07,726 WELL, I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. 121 00:07:07,728 --> 00:07:09,758 I'M GOING TO THE LIBRARY. 122 00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:11,930 - THE LIBRARY? - YEAH, DAD. 123 00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:13,732 IT'S COME TO THAT. 124 00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:16,874 - DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHERE THE LIBRARY IS? - I'LL FIND IT. 125 00:07:21,512 --> 00:07:23,072 -( car door closes ) - SHE'S COMING! 126 00:07:23,073 --> 00:07:24,823 OKAY, ARE YOU READY WITH YOUR PHONE? 127 00:07:24,815 --> 00:07:25,845 READY. 128 00:07:25,846 --> 00:07:29,846 - OH, HI, MRS. WENTZ. - HI, TEDDY. 129 00:07:29,850 --> 00:07:32,820 - IVY, DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME? - NO. 130 00:07:32,823 --> 00:07:37,693 I HAVE BEEN HONKING AND SCREAMING "IVY" FOR 10 MINUTES. 131 00:07:37,688 --> 00:07:40,188 THAT WAS YOU? 132 00:07:40,190 --> 00:07:42,690 I KNOW SO MANY PEOPLE. 133 00:07:42,693 --> 00:07:46,843 - LET'S GO. - BEFORE THAT, QUICK QUESTION. 134 00:07:46,837 --> 00:07:49,137 - WHAT? - THERE'S A SENIOR BOY NAMED JOSH 135 00:07:49,139 --> 00:07:51,869 AND HE INVITED TEDDY AND ME TO A PARTY THIS WEEKEND. CAN I GO? 136 00:07:51,872 --> 00:07:54,782 NOW, IVY, YOU KNOW MY POLICY. 137 00:07:54,775 --> 00:07:57,145 UNLESS I'VE MET THE BOY, THE ANSWER'S NO. 138 00:07:57,147 --> 00:07:59,947 AND I'M SURE TEDDY'S MOM SAID THE SAME THING. 139 00:07:59,950 --> 00:08:02,480 OH WELL, ACTUALLY I HAVEN'T ASKED MY MOM YET. 140 00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:05,922 OH HEY, WHY DON'T I CALL MY MOM AT WORK AND SEE WHAT SHE SAYS? 141 00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:10,188 - ( rings ) - IT'S RINGING. 142 00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:14,490 - HI, MOM. -Hi, Teddy. 143 00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:18,934 UH, MOM, I WAS CALLING TO SEE IF I CAN GO TO A PARTY? 144 00:08:18,929 --> 00:08:21,269 -Where is it? - IT'S AT MY FRIEND JOSH'S HOUSE. 145 00:08:21,271 --> 00:08:23,571 YOU KNOW JOSH, RIGHT? 146 00:08:23,574 --> 00:08:25,214 I like that boy. He's very nice. 147 00:08:28,739 --> 00:08:31,039 SO WHAT DO YOU SAY? CAN I GO TO THE PARTY? 148 00:08:31,041 --> 00:08:33,811 Honey, of course you can. 149 00:08:35,886 --> 00:08:37,986 THANKS, MOM. YOU'RE THE BEST. 150 00:08:37,988 --> 00:08:40,048 ALL RIGHT, I DON'T WANT TO KEEP YOU. LOVE YOU! 151 00:08:40,050 --> 00:08:41,750 Love you too, honey. 152 00:08:46,657 --> 00:08:49,127 SEE? 153 00:08:49,129 --> 00:08:51,929 TEDDY GETS TO GO. 154 00:08:51,932 --> 00:08:55,572 WELL, IF IT'S OKAY WITH AMY. 155 00:08:55,566 --> 00:08:56,966 - ( beeps ) - IT'S OKAY WITH ME. YOU CAN GO. 156 00:08:56,967 --> 00:08:58,807 - ( squeals ) - ( beeps ) 157 00:08:58,809 --> 00:09:00,669 THANKS, MOM. YOU'RE THE BEST. 158 00:09:00,671 --> 00:09:03,911 I like that boy. He's very nice. 159 00:09:03,914 --> 00:09:05,724 WHAT WAS THAT? 160 00:09:05,716 --> 00:09:08,076 OH, I WAS JUST DOING AN IMPRESSION OF MY MOM. 161 00:09:08,078 --> 00:09:11,048 I ALSO DO MY DAD. 162 00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:12,981 "TEDDY, GET IN HERE!" 163 00:09:14,755 --> 00:09:16,555 WHAT IS IT, DAD? 164 00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,756 "WHO ATE THE LAST DONUT?" 165 00:09:18,759 --> 00:09:21,189 YOU DID, DAD. 166 00:09:21,191 --> 00:09:24,561 ( chuckles ) WELL, WE'D BETTER GET GOING. 167 00:09:32,873 --> 00:09:35,053 MMM, WHAT SMELLS SO GOOD? 168 00:09:35,045 --> 00:09:38,005 - HOT DOGS. - OH. 169 00:09:38,008 --> 00:09:40,978 NOTHING MAKES BOILED WATER SMELL BETTER 170 00:09:40,981 --> 00:09:43,051 THAN AMY DUNCAN'S HOT DOGS. 171 00:09:45,115 --> 00:09:46,785 THIS SHOULD BE GOOD. 172 00:09:46,787 --> 00:09:48,987 UM, SO, MOM, 173 00:09:48,989 --> 00:09:51,589 I WAS WONDERING IF I COULD GO TO A PARTY AT JOSH'S HOUSE. 174 00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,921 HE'S THIS REALLY CUTE SENIOR. YOU DON'T KNOW HIM. 175 00:09:53,924 --> 00:09:56,904 I'M SORRY, TEDDY, THE ANSWER'S NO. YOU KNOW MY POLICY. 176 00:09:56,897 --> 00:09:58,997 OH, COME ON! IVY'S MOM IS LETTING HER GO. 177 00:09:58,999 --> 00:10:01,899 - MARY LOU WENTZ GAVE PERMISSION? - YES. 178 00:10:01,902 --> 00:10:04,372 YES, SHE DID. AND I CAN CALL HER IF YOU WANT TO HEAR FROM HER. 179 00:10:06,236 --> 00:10:08,036 I'D LOVE TO. 180 00:10:09,339 --> 00:10:11,179 HI, MRS. WENTZ, IT'S TEDDY DUNCAN. 181 00:10:11,181 --> 00:10:13,941 I'M GONNA PUT YOU ON SPEAKER, OKAY? 182 00:10:13,944 --> 00:10:18,354 SO, MRS. WENTZ, YOU'RE LETTING IVY GO TO THAT PARTY, RIGHT? 183 00:10:18,348 --> 00:10:19,918 It's okay with me. 184 00:10:22,022 --> 00:10:24,932 - ARE YOU SURE, MARY LOU, BECAUSE-- -It's okay with me. 185 00:10:27,027 --> 00:10:29,327 - REALLY, YOU'RE NOT THE LEAST BIT-- -It's okay with me. 186 00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:32,630 OOPS, LOST HER. 187 00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,402 SO CAN I GO TO THE PARTY? 188 00:10:35,766 --> 00:10:37,836 WELL... 189 00:10:37,838 --> 00:10:39,938 IF IT'S OKAY WITH MARY LOU, IT'S OKAY WITH ME. 190 00:10:39,940 --> 00:10:42,940 OOH, THANK YOU, MOMMY! LOVE YOU SO MUCH. 191 00:10:42,943 --> 00:10:47,123 YEAH... NO ONE LOVES MOM MORE THAN WHEN SHE'S SAYING YES. 192 00:10:51,051 --> 00:10:53,021 THAT WAS AN INTERESTING PHONE CALL. 193 00:10:54,685 --> 00:10:56,185 WAS IT? 194 00:10:56,186 --> 00:10:58,286 YEAH. 195 00:10:58,288 --> 00:11:00,328 YEAH, IT WAS. 196 00:11:21,752 --> 00:11:23,682 HAVING FUN YET, KID? 197 00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,793 NO, VERN, I AM NOT. 198 00:11:25,786 --> 00:11:28,016 FIRST TIME IN A CRAWL SPACE? 199 00:11:28,018 --> 00:11:31,018 I CAN'T BELIEVE MY DAD DOES THIS FOR A LIVING. 200 00:11:31,021 --> 00:11:34,291 I'M REALLY GONNA HAVE TO START PAYING ATTENTION IN SCHOOL. 201 00:11:34,294 --> 00:11:36,004 - SHH! -( squeaking ) 202 00:11:35,996 --> 00:11:39,296 UH-OH, RATS. 203 00:11:39,299 --> 00:11:39,929 RATS? 204 00:11:39,930 --> 00:11:42,400 I THOUGHT WE WERE CATCHING POSSUMS. 205 00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:45,212 SOMETIMES THE CRITTERS MAKE THE DECISIONS. 206 00:11:47,277 --> 00:11:50,137 - WHERE ARE THE RATS? - ALL AROUND US. 207 00:11:50,140 --> 00:11:52,180 -( squeaking continues ) - DOZENS. 208 00:11:52,182 --> 00:11:54,952 MAYBE HUNDREDS. 209 00:11:54,945 --> 00:11:57,015 ( screams ) 210 00:11:57,017 --> 00:12:00,117 QUIET. IF THEY SMELL FEAR, 211 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:01,320 WE'RE BOTH DEAD. 212 00:12:02,322 --> 00:12:04,192 ( whimpering ) 213 00:12:08,899 --> 00:12:11,099 THAT WAS HORRIFYING. 214 00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:14,362 PASS THE SALT, KID. 215 00:12:16,767 --> 00:12:19,267 UH, THAT'S TERMITE POISON. 216 00:12:19,269 --> 00:12:22,209 YOU ONLY PUT THAT ON A SANDWICH ONCE. 217 00:12:22,212 --> 00:12:24,072 WHOOPS. SORRY. 218 00:12:26,016 --> 00:12:29,076 WELL, IT'S NICE TO FINALLY MEET YOU. 219 00:12:29,079 --> 00:12:31,049 YOUR DAD SURE TALKS ABOUT YOU A LOT. 220 00:12:31,051 --> 00:12:33,351 - HE DOES? - ALL THE TIME. 221 00:12:33,353 --> 00:12:36,163 GOES ON AND ON ABOUT YOU-- HOW YOU'RE SMART, 222 00:12:36,156 --> 00:12:37,956 DRIVEN, POPULAR. 223 00:12:37,958 --> 00:12:40,988 - HE SAID ALL THAT ABOUT ME? - OH YEAH. 224 00:12:40,991 --> 00:12:43,061 HE'S VERY PROUD. 225 00:12:44,865 --> 00:12:46,995 WELL, LUNCH BREAK'S OVER, TED. 226 00:12:47,998 --> 00:12:49,838 TED? TED?! 227 00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:52,240 OH, TEDDY'S MY SISTER. 228 00:12:52,242 --> 00:12:55,182 OH, THEN YOU MUST BE THE SELF-CONFIDENT 229 00:12:55,175 --> 00:12:57,075 SHARP-AS-A-TACK MISCHIEF-MAKER. 230 00:12:57,077 --> 00:12:59,507 THAT'S GABE. 231 00:12:59,509 --> 00:13:01,409 HMM. 232 00:13:01,411 --> 00:13:05,191 YOU'RE THE LITTLE CUTIE PIE WHO JUST GOT OUT OF DIAPERS? 233 00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:09,016 I'M THE OLDEST! 234 00:13:09,019 --> 00:13:11,089 - P.J.? - OH RIGHT, OF COURSE. 235 00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:12,891 P.J.-- YOU'RE THE NICE ONE. 236 00:13:12,893 --> 00:13:15,173 THAT'S IT? 237 00:13:15,165 --> 00:13:18,295 EVERYONE ELSE IS SHARP, 238 00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:19,898 SMART AND ADORABLE 239 00:13:19,900 --> 00:13:22,330 AND I'M JUST NICE? 240 00:13:23,573 --> 00:13:26,513 I KNOW WHAT'LL TURN THAT FROWN UPSIDE DOWN. 241 00:13:28,979 --> 00:13:31,079 YOU GET TO CARRY THE RAT BAG. 242 00:13:36,086 --> 00:13:37,846 ( doorbell rings ) 243 00:13:39,589 --> 00:13:42,149 - HI, AMY. - HI, MARY LOU! COME ON IN. 244 00:13:42,152 --> 00:13:44,822 - OKAY. - WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE? 245 00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,134 IVY FORGOT HER BOA. 246 00:13:46,126 --> 00:13:49,226 NOW IF SHE'S GOING TO A PARTY, SHE NEEDS HER BOA. 247 00:13:50,961 --> 00:13:53,001 THEY JUST LEFT, BUT DON'T WORRY-- 248 00:13:53,003 --> 00:13:55,843 THE LEOPARD-PRINT DRESS WILL BE FESTIVE ENOUGH. 249 00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:58,305 I GOTTA SAY, AMY, I WAS A BIT SURPRISED 250 00:13:58,308 --> 00:14:01,038 YOU GAVE TEDDY PERMISSION TO GO TO THAT PARTY. 251 00:14:01,041 --> 00:14:05,081 WELL, I ONLY SAID YES TO TEDDY BECAUSE YOU GAVE IVY PERMISSION FIRST. 252 00:14:05,075 --> 00:14:07,845 YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I RESPECT YOU AS A MOTHER. CRACKER? 253 00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:10,047 OH, THANK YOU. 254 00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:13,250 BUT YOU GAVE TEDDY PERMISSION FIRST 255 00:14:13,253 --> 00:14:15,593 AND I SAID YES BECAUSE OF HOW MUCH I RESPECT YOU. 256 00:14:15,585 --> 00:14:17,555 OKAY, YEAH YEAH YEAH, BEST MOMS EVER. 257 00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:21,327 I'M TRYING TO WATCH MY CARTOONS HERE. 258 00:14:21,331 --> 00:14:24,261 I-- I DIDN'T GIVE TEDDY PERMISSION FIRST. 259 00:14:24,264 --> 00:14:26,004 BUT I HEARD TEDDY CALL YOU AT WORK. 260 00:14:25,996 --> 00:14:28,636 NO, TEDDY NEVER CALLED ME AT WORK. I'M CONFUSED. 261 00:14:28,638 --> 00:14:31,938 - YEAH, ME TOO. - MAY I ENLIGHTEN YOU? 262 00:14:34,304 --> 00:14:37,314 - SPILL IT. - THE GIRLS USED A PHONE APP TO MAKE IT SOUND LIKE 263 00:14:37,307 --> 00:14:39,307 YOU EACH GAVE THEM PERMISSION TO GO TO THE PARTY. 264 00:14:39,309 --> 00:14:40,879 - WHAT? - THEY DIDN'T! 265 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:44,450 OH, MARY LOU, BUT THEY DID. 266 00:14:46,316 --> 00:14:49,016 NOW, MOM, SO NEXT TIME I'M BAD-- 267 00:14:49,019 --> 00:14:52,519 ( laughs ) WE BOTH KNOW THERE WILL BE A NEXT TIME-- 268 00:14:52,522 --> 00:14:55,372 JUST REMEMBER THIS MOMENT WHEN I DID SOMETHING FOR YOU. 269 00:14:56,967 --> 00:14:59,297 THEY ARE GONNA BE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE WHEN THEY GET HOME. 270 00:14:59,299 --> 00:15:03,029 WHY WAIT TILL THEY GET HOME? THEY'RE NOT THE ONLY ONES WHO KNOW ABOUT APPS. 271 00:15:03,033 --> 00:15:04,503 NO, THEY AREN'T. 272 00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:06,984 WHAT DO WE KNOW ABOUT APPS? 273 00:15:08,338 --> 00:15:11,238 I HAVE A G.P.S. APP ON THIS PHONE. 274 00:15:11,241 --> 00:15:14,611 THAT MEANS I CAN TRACK IVY'S PHONE. 275 00:15:14,614 --> 00:15:17,654 SHALL WE GO TO A PARTY? 276 00:15:17,647 --> 00:15:19,547 I'D BE "APPY" TO. 277 00:15:29,399 --> 00:15:31,629 - ( rings ) - HELLO? 278 00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:34,301 TEDDY DEAR, GABE HERE. 279 00:15:34,304 --> 00:15:38,544 BEFORE I SHARE THE NEWS, LET'S REMEMBER THIS MOMENT THE NEXT TIME I NEED A FAVOR. 280 00:15:38,538 --> 00:15:42,468 WHY DO ALL OF YOUR CALLS START WITH THE SAME CREEPY QUESTION? 281 00:15:44,414 --> 00:15:47,424 MOM AND MRS. WENTZ KNOW ALL ABOUT THE PHONY PHONE CALLS. 282 00:15:47,417 --> 00:15:49,947 WHAT?! HOW'D THEY FIND OUT? 283 00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:53,479 THAT PART REMAINS A MYSTERY. ANYWHO... 284 00:15:53,483 --> 00:15:56,363 THEY'RE TRACKING YOU ON G.P.S. AND HEADING YOUR WAY. 285 00:15:56,356 --> 00:15:58,726 WHAT? OUR MOMS ARE TRACKING US ON G.P.S. 286 00:15:58,728 --> 00:16:01,658 G.P.S.? THEY'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW ABOUT THAT. 287 00:16:03,293 --> 00:16:05,273 OH GOSH, THANKS, GABE. I OWE YOU ONE. 288 00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:08,435 SO IT WOULD SEEM. 289 00:16:08,438 --> 00:16:10,638 ( cackling ) 290 00:16:21,581 --> 00:16:25,521 THERE YOU ARE. I THINK CHARLIE WANTS TO PLAY BABY WITH YOU. 291 00:16:25,515 --> 00:16:28,355 SHE KEEPS GOING, "GABE, GABE!" 292 00:16:28,358 --> 00:16:31,318 SHE CAN SAY IT ALL SHE WANTS. IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN. 293 00:16:31,321 --> 00:16:34,321 I'M SICK OF HER AND I'M SICK OF THAT STUPID DOLL. 294 00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:42,699 OH, CHARLIE, COME ON! I DIDN'T MEAN IT. 295 00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:44,302 I WAS JUST GABE BEING GABE. 296 00:16:48,138 --> 00:16:51,408 HEY, THERE HE IS! HOW'D IT GO TODAY? 297 00:16:51,411 --> 00:16:53,381 ( snorts ) THE HIGHLIGHT OF MY DAY 298 00:16:53,383 --> 00:16:55,793 WAS CARRYING A BAG OF RATS. 299 00:16:58,388 --> 00:17:02,048 VERN MUST LIKE YOU BECAUSE HE'S AWFUL PARTICULAR ABOUT HIS RAT BAG. 300 00:17:03,423 --> 00:17:06,133 VERN TOLD ME WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT US KIDS. 301 00:17:06,126 --> 00:17:08,656 - WHAT'D I SAY? - THAT EVERYONE ELSE IS SO GREAT 302 00:17:08,658 --> 00:17:11,198 AND I'M JUST NICE. 303 00:17:11,201 --> 00:17:13,501 SO? 304 00:17:13,503 --> 00:17:15,343 YOU'RE NICE, WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT? 305 00:17:15,335 --> 00:17:17,465 SO "NICE" IS WHAT YOUR FRIEND CALLS THE UGLY GIRL 306 00:17:17,467 --> 00:17:19,367 HE WANTS YOU TO GO OUT WITH. 307 00:17:19,369 --> 00:17:21,239 IS THAT ALL I AM TO YOU-- 308 00:17:21,241 --> 00:17:23,141 AN UGLY GIRL? 309 00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:33,050 OH, THIS IS SO EXCITING-- 310 00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:35,232 GOING AFTER THE PERPS. 311 00:17:37,157 --> 00:17:39,387 WAIT, THE GIRLS ARE TURNING AROUND. 312 00:17:39,389 --> 00:17:42,359 - WHAT? - LOOKS LIKE THEY'RE HEADED BACK TO YOUR HOUSE. 313 00:17:44,164 --> 00:17:46,474 HOLD ON YOUR YOUR PURSE, MARY LOU. WE'RE MAKING A U-EY. 314 00:17:46,466 --> 00:17:49,236 ( tires screech ) 315 00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:52,340 OH YEAH! 316 00:17:52,342 --> 00:17:54,342 - YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE GREAT? -WHAT? 317 00:17:54,344 --> 00:17:56,384 IF WE HAD A SIREN AND A FLASHING LIGHT. 318 00:17:56,376 --> 00:17:58,676 - ( beeps ) - ( siren blaring ) 319 00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:03,550 THEY GOT APPS FOR EVERYTHING. 320 00:18:09,859 --> 00:18:11,559 HEY. 321 00:18:13,393 --> 00:18:16,333 - I THINK WE GOTTA TALK. - I'M NOT IN THE MOOD. 322 00:18:16,326 --> 00:18:19,366 OH, THAT WASN'T VERY NICE. 323 00:18:21,531 --> 00:18:24,831 OH COME ON. WHEN I SAID YOU WERE NICE THAT WAS A COMPLIMENT. 324 00:18:24,834 --> 00:18:28,544 - THAT WAS THE BEST THING YOU COULD SAY ABOUT ME? - I THINK THAT SAYS A LOT. 325 00:18:29,539 --> 00:18:31,739 LOOK, P.J., 326 00:18:32,782 --> 00:18:35,322 AS A FATHER, THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO ME 327 00:18:35,315 --> 00:18:37,485 IS THAT MY KIDS ARE GOOD PEOPLE-- 328 00:18:37,487 --> 00:18:41,817 KIND-HEARTED, GENUINELY CONCERNED ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE... 329 00:18:41,821 --> 00:18:43,751 NICE. 330 00:18:45,455 --> 00:18:49,455 HEY, BY THAT STANDARD YOU'RE THE KID I'M MOST PROUD OF. 331 00:18:50,700 --> 00:18:52,760 - REALLY? - REALLY. 332 00:18:55,335 --> 00:18:56,835 THANKS, DAD. 333 00:18:56,836 --> 00:19:00,606 HEY, THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME OUT ON THE JOB TODAY. 334 00:19:02,242 --> 00:19:03,772 UH, YOU KNOW, I WAS KINDA 335 00:19:03,773 --> 00:19:06,453 HOPING MAYBE SOMEDAY WE COULD 336 00:19:06,446 --> 00:19:08,916 MAKE THAT A PERMANENT THING. 337 00:19:11,481 --> 00:19:13,221 "DUNCAN & SON." 338 00:19:13,223 --> 00:19:14,623 OH! 339 00:19:14,624 --> 00:19:16,864 THAT REMINDS ME-- BETTER HIT THOSE BOOKS. 340 00:19:22,592 --> 00:19:24,892 WELL, THAT WASN'T NICE AT ALL. 341 00:19:31,601 --> 00:19:32,901 ( door opens ) 342 00:19:34,504 --> 00:19:37,614 OH, WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING HERE? DID THE PARTY END EARLY? 343 00:19:37,607 --> 00:19:39,907 NO, WE DECIDED NOT TO GO. 344 00:19:39,909 --> 00:19:42,679 THE TRUTH IS 345 00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:45,592 WE TRICKED YOU INTO GIVING US PERMISSION TO GO TO THE PARTY. 346 00:19:45,585 --> 00:19:48,315 DID YOU NOW? 347 00:19:49,619 --> 00:19:52,519 YES, I'M ASHAMED TO SAY WE DID. 348 00:19:52,522 --> 00:19:56,272 BUT ON THE WAY THERE SOMETHING MADE US CHANGE OUR MINDS. 349 00:19:56,266 --> 00:19:57,626 AND WHAT'S THAT? 350 00:19:57,627 --> 00:19:59,927 WE SAW THE GRAPE JUICE BILLBOARD. 351 00:19:59,929 --> 00:20:02,469 YOU KNOW THE ONE WHERE THE GIRL IS HUGGING HER MOM 352 00:20:02,472 --> 00:20:04,532 BECAUSE SHE'S SO HAPPY WITH THE JUICE? 353 00:20:07,307 --> 00:20:10,507 "GRAPE MOMS THINK ALIKE," I'M FAMILIAR WITH IT. 354 00:20:12,282 --> 00:20:15,892 ANYWAY THAT GOT US TO THINKING ABOUT HOW WONDERFUL YOU TWO ARE 355 00:20:15,885 --> 00:20:19,215 AND WE TALKED IT OVER AND AGREED THAT YOU DESERVED BETTER 356 00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:21,648 AND DECIDED NOT TO GO. 357 00:20:21,651 --> 00:20:23,591 ( high-pitched ) IT'S TRUE. 358 00:20:25,925 --> 00:20:27,955 ( clears throat ) 359 00:20:27,957 --> 00:20:31,957 ANYWAY, WE KNOW YOU'RE PROBABLY GONNA PUNISH US, 360 00:20:31,961 --> 00:20:33,861 BUT WE'RE OKAY WITH THAT. 361 00:20:36,336 --> 00:20:40,406 WELL, WE CAN TALK ABOUT THAT LATER. 362 00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:45,621 I'M REALLY PROUD THAT YOU GUYS TOLD US THE TRUTH. 363 00:20:45,615 --> 00:20:47,715 I AM TOO. 364 00:20:50,620 --> 00:20:52,850 DARN YOU FOR RAISING US SO WELL. 365 00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:57,294 IT'S WHAT I DO. 366 00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:07,674 HEY, IVY, I'M ON MY WAY OUT. ARE YOU HERE? 367 00:21:07,667 --> 00:21:09,537 I'M RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR HOUSE. 368 00:21:09,539 --> 00:21:11,339 ARE YOU SURE IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO GO? 369 00:21:11,341 --> 00:21:14,041 OH, GIRLFRIEND, THESE SENIOR PARTIES GO ALL NIGHT. 370 00:21:14,043 --> 00:21:16,883 - GOING SOMEWHERE? - BACK TO BED. 371 00:21:16,876 --> 00:21:18,406 YOU GOT THAT RIGHT. 372 00:21:20,510 --> 00:21:22,580 CAUGHT BY MOM. CAN'T GO. 373 00:21:22,582 --> 00:21:26,592 - IF YOU'RE NOT GOING, I'M NOT GOING. - YOU GOT THAT RIGHT. 374 00:21:36,866 --> 00:21:38,626 HI, CHARLIE. 375 00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:43,600 CHARLIE, COME ON. 376 00:21:43,603 --> 00:21:46,013 HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY I'M SORRY? 377 00:21:49,308 --> 00:21:51,308 WHAT IS IT GONNA TAKE FOR YOU TO FORGIVE ME? 378 00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:53,440 YOU BABY. 379 00:21:53,443 --> 00:21:55,893 "YOU BABY"? 380 00:21:55,885 --> 00:21:57,715 WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? 381 00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:04,690 Well, Charlie, I don't know how you got him to do that, 382 00:22:04,694 --> 00:22:07,034 but thank you. We'll be enjoying this for years. 383 00:22:07,026 --> 00:22:09,856 ( baby-talking ) Now say good luck, Charlie. 384 00:22:11,801 --> 00:22:15,411 Do you want me to spit up? 'Cause I'm not afraid to go there. 385 00:22:16,606 --> 00:22:18,766 Cranky baby. 386 00:22:23,873 --> 00:22:25,923 ( siren blares, helicopter whirring ) 387 00:22:25,915 --> 00:22:28,915 Man on P.A.: We've got the house surrounded. Come out with your hands up. 388 00:22:31,881 --> 00:22:34,821 HEY, HOW'S IT GOING? GOOD GOOD. 389 00:22:34,824 --> 00:22:37,364 REMEMBER A FEW WEEKS AGO I MENTIONED SOMETHING ABOUT 390 00:22:37,356 --> 00:22:38,986 CASHING IN MY FAVORS? 391 00:22:38,988 --> 00:22:42,688 WELL, TODAY'S THE DAY. YOU TWO NEVER SAW ME. 392 00:22:42,692 --> 00:22:45,572 BYE-BYE NOW. 393 00:22:45,565 --> 00:22:48,465 -( pounding on door ) - COME IN. 394 00:22:49,869 --> 00:22:51,899 HE'S UPSTAIRS, BOYS. 395 00:22:55,905 --> 00:22:59,375 - WHY'D YOU GIVE HIM UP, MOM? - HE DIDN'T DO THE DISHES. 396 00:22:59,378 --> 00:23:02,448 DON'T CROSS MAMA. 397 00:23:02,452 --> 00:23:04,452 ( theme music playing ) 29350

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