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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,873 --> 00:00:07,443 SO THEN SPENCER SAID, 2 00:00:07,475 --> 00:00:09,175 "ARE YOU COMING TO MY PARTY TONIGHT?" 3 00:00:09,210 --> 00:00:11,280 AND INSIDE I WAS LIKE, "WAAH!" 4 00:00:11,312 --> 00:00:15,452 BUT ON THE OUTSIDE I WAS LIKE, "SURE, WHATEVS." 5 00:00:15,483 --> 00:00:19,093 SO THEN I SAID, "WHAT SHOULD I BRING?" 6 00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:22,090 AND HE SAID, "JUST YOUR CUTE SELF." 7 00:00:22,123 --> 00:00:26,193 AND THAT TIME I DID SAY, "WAAH!" 8 00:00:26,227 --> 00:00:28,197 - HI, HONEY. - OH, HEY, MOM. 9 00:00:28,229 --> 00:00:29,599 HOMEWORK CALL. 10 00:00:29,630 --> 00:00:31,300 SORRY. WHERE'S CHARLIE? 11 00:00:31,332 --> 00:00:33,132 KITCHEN, WITH GABE. 12 00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:41,141 CHARLIE DID IT. 13 00:00:41,175 --> 00:00:43,075 WHAT IN THE WORLD? 14 00:00:43,111 --> 00:00:46,481 WELL, CHARLIE ASKED FOR A MILKSHAKE. 15 00:00:46,514 --> 00:00:49,224 LIKE A GOOD BIG BROTHER, I DECIDED TO MAKE ONE. 16 00:00:49,250 --> 00:00:52,220 THEN SHE FORGOT TO PUT THE TOP ON THE BLENDER. 17 00:00:52,253 --> 00:00:55,163 SO YOU PUT YOUR BABY SISTER 18 00:00:55,189 --> 00:00:57,329 IN CHARGE OF AN ELECTRICAL APPLIANCE? 19 00:00:57,358 --> 00:00:59,628 AND SHE LET ME DOWN. 20 00:00:59,660 --> 00:01:01,460 TEDDY, GET IN HERE. 21 00:01:01,495 --> 00:01:04,625 MOM, I'M ON THE-- WOW. 22 00:01:06,234 --> 00:01:08,104 GOTTA CALL YOU BACK. 23 00:01:08,136 --> 00:01:10,136 CARE TO EXPLAIN WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? 24 00:01:10,171 --> 00:01:14,481 UH, A CHOCOLATE BOMB WENT OFF? 25 00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:16,478 I ASKED IF WE COULD MAKE MILKSHAKES 26 00:01:16,510 --> 00:01:19,610 AND TEDDY DID THIS. 27 00:01:19,647 --> 00:01:22,247 AND THEN SHE STARTED TALKING ABOUT HER PARTY AGAIN. 28 00:01:24,685 --> 00:01:27,255 THAT'S WHAT WE CALL HOMEWORK SOMETIMES-- 29 00:01:27,288 --> 00:01:31,188 A PARTY-- 'CAUSE IT'S SO FUN. 30 00:01:31,225 --> 00:01:33,185 OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT'S IT. 31 00:01:33,227 --> 00:01:35,197 NO T.V., NO COMPUTER, NO VIDEO GAMES 32 00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:36,859 FOR THE REST OF THE DAY. 33 00:01:36,897 --> 00:01:39,127 - I THINK THAT'S FAIR. - AND YOU'RE WATCHING HIM. 34 00:01:39,167 --> 00:01:41,267 THAT'S SO UNFAIR! 35 00:01:41,302 --> 00:01:42,472 AND CHARLIE. 36 00:01:42,503 --> 00:01:44,513 MOM, I HAVE TO GET READY FOR MY PARTY. 37 00:01:44,538 --> 00:01:47,208 THAT'S JUST TOO BAD. AND WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT LYING? 38 00:01:47,241 --> 00:01:50,511 IT ONLY WORKS ON DAD. 39 00:01:50,544 --> 00:01:54,184 NOW BOTH OF YOU, CLEAN THIS MESS UP. 40 00:01:54,215 --> 00:01:56,245 MY POOR LITTLE BABY. 41 00:01:56,284 --> 00:01:59,194 I GOTTA GIVE YOU A BATH. MWAH. 42 00:01:59,220 --> 00:02:03,160 OR I COULD JUST LICK YOU CLEAN. 43 00:02:03,191 --> 00:02:04,431 ( rock music playing ) 44 00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:06,258 * TODAY'S ALL BURNT TOAST 45 00:02:06,294 --> 00:02:07,564 * RUNNING LATE, AND DAD SAYS * 46 00:02:07,595 --> 00:02:10,225 * HAS ANYBODY SEEN MY LEFT SHOE? * 47 00:02:10,264 --> 00:02:12,404 * I CLOSE MY EYES, TAKE A BITE * 48 00:02:12,433 --> 00:02:14,243 * GRAB A RIDE, LAUGH OUT LOUD * 49 00:02:14,268 --> 00:02:16,938 * THERE IT IS UP ON THE ROOF * 50 00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:20,170 * I'VE BEEN THERE, I'VE SURVIVED * 51 00:02:20,208 --> 00:02:23,438 * SO JUST TAKE MY ADVICE * 52 00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:25,577 * HANG IN THERE, BABY 53 00:02:25,613 --> 00:02:27,323 * THINGS ARE CRAZY 54 00:02:27,348 --> 00:02:30,278 * BUT I KNOW YOUR FUTURE'S BRIGHT * 55 00:02:30,318 --> 00:02:32,188 * HANG IN THERE, BABY 56 00:02:32,220 --> 00:02:33,720 * THERE'S NO MAYBE 57 00:02:33,754 --> 00:02:36,594 * EVERYTHING TURNS OUT ALL RIGHT * 58 00:02:36,624 --> 00:02:39,334 * YOUR LIFE IS UP AND DOWN * 59 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:42,460 * BUT TRUST ME, IT COMES BACK AROUND * 60 00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:46,596 * YOU'RE GONNA LOVE WHO YOU TURN OUT TO BE * 61 00:02:48,269 --> 00:02:50,639 * HANG IN THERE, BABY. 62 00:03:00,381 --> 00:03:02,581 - GOOD MORNING, DAD. LAWN TODAY?ET TO THAT 63 00:03:02,616 --> 00:03:04,586 YOU KNOW, WHEN SOMEONE SAYS "GOOD MORNING," 64 00:03:04,618 --> 00:03:08,358 THE TRADITIONAL RESPONSE IS "GOOD MORNING" BACK. 65 00:03:08,389 --> 00:03:10,489 SORRY. 66 00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:13,464 YOU GONNA GET TO THAT LAWN TODAY? 67 00:03:13,494 --> 00:03:14,634 SO WHERE YOU OFF TO? 68 00:03:14,662 --> 00:03:17,002 I'M MEETING WITH SOME JINGLE WRITERS, 69 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:19,530 GETTING READY FOR BOB'S BUGS BE GONE.AL 70 00:03:19,567 --> 00:03:22,237 A JINGLE? THAT'S LIKE A SONG, RIGHT? 71 00:03:22,270 --> 00:03:24,640 THAT'S RIGHT, A CATCHY LITTLE TUNE THAT STICKS IN YOUR HEAD 72 00:03:24,672 --> 00:03:26,642 AND DRIVES YOU JUST A LITTLE BIT CRAZY. 73 00:03:26,674 --> 00:03:30,644 YOU KNOW EMMETT AND I HAVE A BAND, RIGHT? 74 00:03:30,678 --> 00:03:33,378 YOU KNOW WE HAVE A LAWN MOWER, RIGHT? 75 00:03:33,414 --> 00:03:36,524 DON'T YOU THINK AT WRITING YOUR JINGLE?OT 76 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:39,520 P.J., COME ON, BUT I NEED A PROFESSIONAL.YOU, 77 00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:41,763 COME ON, JUST GIVE US A CHANCE. 78 00:03:41,789 --> 00:03:44,559 ALL RIGHT, OKAY. AT IT, KNOCK YOURSELVES OUT.T 79 00:03:44,592 --> 00:03:46,262 YOU WILL NOT BE SORRY. 80 00:03:46,294 --> 00:03:48,664 AND THEN ONE DAY WHEN I ACCEPT MY GRAMMY 81 00:03:48,696 --> 00:03:51,696 FOR BEST EXTERMINATOR JINGLE, I'M GONNA SAY, 82 00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:55,402 "THIS ONE'S FOR YOU, DAD. 83 00:03:55,436 --> 00:03:57,506 AND MY GIRLFRIEND TAYLOR SWIFT. 84 00:03:57,538 --> 00:04:00,668 WHAT UP, TAY-TAY?" 85 00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:11,820 WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? 86 00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:14,622 NO T.V., NO COMPUTER, NO VIDEO GAMES. 87 00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:16,385 I'M FREAKING OUT. 88 00:04:16,424 --> 00:04:18,394 WHY DON'T YOU READ A BOOK? 89 00:04:18,426 --> 00:04:21,056 SURE, RIGHT AFTER I CLEAN MY ROOM. 90 00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:24,304 DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME? 91 00:04:24,332 --> 00:04:26,732 YOU'RE A STRANGE LITTLE DUDE. 92 00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,037 WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 93 00:04:28,068 --> 00:04:29,598 TO THE STORE. WE'RE OUT OF DIAPERS. 94 00:04:29,637 --> 00:04:31,067 PLEASE TAKE ME WITH YOU. 95 00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,774 YOU WANNA GO SHOPPING FOR DIAPERS? 96 00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:34,776 NO, BUT I WILL NOT STAY HERE 97 00:04:34,808 --> 00:04:37,708 AND HAVE THESE MACHINES MOCK ME. 98 00:04:37,745 --> 00:04:41,375 AGAIN, A STRANGE LITTLE DUDE. 99 00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:49,717 OKAY, READ BACK WHAT WE HAVE SO FAR. 100 00:04:49,757 --> 00:04:52,457 OKAY. "JINGLE NUMBER ONE, 101 00:04:52,493 --> 00:04:56,063 WRITTEN BY P.J. AND EMMETT." 102 00:04:56,096 --> 00:04:59,066 THAT'S IT. 103 00:04:59,099 --> 00:05:02,869 THINK. GOTTA THINK. 104 00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:04,813 OH, HEY, MY DAD'S NAME IS BOB. 105 00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:07,538 MAYBE WE SHOULD THINK OF THINGS THAT RHYME WITH "BOB." 106 00:05:07,575 --> 00:05:10,575 HOW ABOUT BLOB, GLOB AND SLOB? 107 00:05:11,779 --> 00:05:14,349 I'M DOING A LOAD OF HIS WHITES. 108 00:05:14,382 --> 00:05:16,722 MAN, WRITING A JINGLE IS HARDER THAN I THOUGHT. 109 00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:18,750 MOM, WE NEED SOME INSPIRATION. 110 00:05:18,786 --> 00:05:20,616 WELL, LUCKY FOR YOU, 111 00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:22,694 I WROTE QUITE A BIT OF POETRY IN HIGH SCHOOL. 112 00:05:22,723 --> 00:05:25,363 PUBLISHED FIVE TIMES IN THE SCHOOL'S LITERARY MAGAZINE-- 113 00:05:25,393 --> 00:05:27,703 WHATEVER. 114 00:05:27,728 --> 00:05:29,698 ACTUALLY, I WAS THINKING 115 00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:32,370 YOU COULD INSPIRE US WITH SOME SANDWICHES. 116 00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:34,800 MY FIRST PIECE OR-- BACK IT UP-- 117 00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:37,635 SHOULD I SAY MY FIRST PUBLISHED PIECE 118 00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:40,871 IS CALLED SIMPLY "LOCKER." 119 00:05:40,908 --> 00:05:44,378 THAT'S GREAT. I'LL TAKE A HAM AND CHEESE-- 120 00:05:44,412 --> 00:05:49,152 "HEY THERE, LOCKER, 121 00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:53,652 FILLED WITH MY BOOKS AND PAPERS 122 00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:56,917 AND SECRETS. 123 00:05:56,957 --> 00:06:01,527 I CAN'T REMEMBER YOUR COMBINATION. 124 00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:03,862 37 RIGHT, 17 LEFT, 125 00:06:03,897 --> 00:06:08,867 BUT THEN WHAT? 126 00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:11,442 AM I LOCKED OUT 127 00:06:11,472 --> 00:06:13,812 OR ARE YOU LOCKED IN?" 128 00:06:13,841 --> 00:06:15,941 ( cymbals crash ) 129 00:06:19,847 --> 00:06:22,677 SO GOOD. SO GOOD. 130 00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:24,846 IT'S STILL SO GOOD. 131 00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:28,385 YOU WANNA DO THIS AT MY HOUSE? 132 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:42,970 WELL WELL WELL, 133 00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:45,913 GABRIEL B. DUNCAN. 134 00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:48,439 AFTERNOON, HUGO. 135 00:06:48,476 --> 00:06:49,806 THE MANAGER KNOWS YOU? 136 00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:52,953 WE HAVE A HISTORY, YES. 137 00:06:52,980 --> 00:06:54,980 A WORD OF ADVICE, DUNCAN-- 138 00:06:55,015 --> 00:06:57,745 YOU KNOCK OVER A DISPLAY OR JOY-RIDE A SHOPPING CART, 139 00:06:57,785 --> 00:07:01,915 AND I WILL PERSONALLY OPEN A CAN OF REDDI MART'S FINEST BUTT-KICK. 140 00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:03,985 HEY, HAVE YOU LOST WEIGHT? 141 00:07:04,024 --> 00:07:06,594 JUST KIDDING. 142 00:07:07,795 --> 00:07:09,995 I'M WATCHING YOU, PUNK. 143 00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:14,865 SODA AND MINTS? WHAT ARE THESE FOR? 144 00:07:14,902 --> 00:07:16,872 I'M GONNA MAKE A SODA GEYSER. 145 00:07:16,904 --> 00:07:18,214 YOU DROP A MINT INTO THE BOTTLE 146 00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:20,468 AND IT MAKES THIS HUGE EXPLOSION. 147 00:07:20,508 --> 00:07:22,908 WOW, THAT SOUNDS SO COOL. 148 00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:24,953 PUT THEM BACK. 149 00:07:24,978 --> 00:07:27,848 HOW COME YOU GET TO BUY LIP GLOSS AND I CAN'T BUY THIS STUFF? 150 00:07:27,881 --> 00:07:29,821 IT'S COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. 151 00:07:29,850 --> 00:07:32,920 SODA AND MINTS WON'T MAKE YOU LOOK TOTALLY CUTE AT A PARTY. 152 00:07:35,656 --> 00:07:38,686 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 153 00:07:41,829 --> 00:07:44,929 ( alarm blaring ) 154 00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:47,735 WHAT'S GOING ON? 155 00:07:47,768 --> 00:07:50,268 WHY, IT'S GABE. I MUST BE GETTING PSYCHIC. 156 00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:51,973 I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING. 157 00:07:52,005 --> 00:07:54,905 MM-HMM, COME ON. 158 00:07:54,942 --> 00:07:57,712 RECEIPT. 159 00:07:57,745 --> 00:07:59,875 THERE YOU GO. 160 00:07:59,913 --> 00:08:02,783 HUH, I'M SEEING DIAPERS, 161 00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:05,516 BUT I'M NOT SEEING SUNGLASSES. EXPLAIN. 162 00:08:05,553 --> 00:08:07,993 EXPLANATION-- WE DIDN'T GET SUNGLASSES. 163 00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:09,821 WELL, SOMEONE DID. 164 00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:14,294 ( both laughing ) 165 00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:16,027 CHARLIE DID IT. 166 00:08:16,063 --> 00:08:17,973 THIS TIME SHE REALLY DID DO IT. 167 00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:19,798 SHE MUST HAVE GRABBED THESE WHEN WE WEREN'T LOOKING. 168 00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:22,003 - THAT'S SO FUNNY. - YOU SEE ME LAUGHING? 169 00:08:22,035 --> 00:08:26,665 THERE'S NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT SHOPLIFTING. 170 00:08:26,707 --> 00:08:29,807 IN CASE YOU DIDN'T NOTICE, HUGO, WE'RE STILL IN THE STORE. 171 00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:32,883 UNPAID ITEMS ARE CONSIDERED STOLEN ONCE THEY LEAVE CHECKOUT. 172 00:08:32,913 --> 00:08:36,883 IN CASE YOU DIDN'T NOTICE, WE DON'T HAVE CASH REGISTERS IN THE PARKING LOT. 173 00:08:36,917 --> 00:08:38,887 TELL ALICE TO CALL THE POLICE. 174 00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:41,659 THE POLICE? YOU'RE ARRESTING A BABY? 175 00:08:41,689 --> 00:08:43,789 OR A VERY SMALL PERSON. 176 00:08:43,824 --> 00:08:45,664 WE DON'T HAVE ALL THE FACTS YET. 177 00:09:00,674 --> 00:09:03,744 TURN HER TO THE LEFT. 178 00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:05,877 DON'T YOU THINK IT'S A LITTLE RIDICULOUS 179 00:09:05,913 --> 00:09:07,923 TO TAKE MUG SHOTS OF A BABY? 180 00:09:07,948 --> 00:09:09,948 THAT'S PROCEDURE FOR SHOPLIFTERS. 181 00:09:09,983 --> 00:09:11,723 TURN HER TO THE RIGHT. 182 00:09:11,752 --> 00:09:15,062 OKAY, CHARLIE, SMILE FOR HUGE-OH. 183 00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:17,658 STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES-- 184 00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:19,161 AGH! 185 00:09:24,965 --> 00:09:27,125 ARE THESE THE SHOPLIFTERS? 186 00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:28,837 THAT'S RIGHT. THE PERP IS IN THE STROLLER. 187 00:09:28,869 --> 00:09:30,639 SHE'S NOT A PERP. SHE'S A BABY. 188 00:09:30,671 --> 00:09:32,641 STILL UNDETERMINED. 189 00:09:32,673 --> 00:09:35,013 I CALLED THE POLICE, BUT THEY SAID THIS WAS LOW PRIORITY 190 00:09:35,042 --> 00:09:37,782 AND THEY WOULDN'T BE HERE FOR THREE OR FOUR HOURS. 191 00:09:37,811 --> 00:09:39,651 THREE OR FOUR HOURS? 192 00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:41,620 ALICE, WHY CAN'T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT? 193 00:09:41,649 --> 00:09:42,949 IT'S NOT MY FAULT. PLEASE DON'T YELL AT ME. 194 00:09:42,983 --> 00:09:44,653 HOW MANY TIMES HAVE WE BEEN OVER THIS? 195 00:09:44,685 --> 00:09:45,985 WHENEVER YOU TELL ME NOT TO YELL AT YOU, 196 00:09:46,019 --> 00:09:48,619 IT MAKES ME WANT TO YELL AT YOU! 197 00:09:48,656 --> 00:09:51,756 HI, AS ENTERTAINING AND TWISTED AS THIS ALL IS, 198 00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:54,162 CAN WE PLEASE MOVE IT ALONG? I HAVE A PARTY TO GO TO. 199 00:09:54,194 --> 00:09:56,904 - YOU'RE GOING TO A PARTY? - YES. 200 00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:58,670 THAT MUST BE NICE. 201 00:09:58,699 --> 00:10:02,699 NITWIT, DO NOT FRATERNIZE WITH THE SUSPECTS. 202 00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:04,736 MIGHT AS WELL MAKE YOURSELVES COMFORTABLE, 203 00:10:04,772 --> 00:10:06,742 LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE GONNA BE HERE A WHILE. 204 00:10:06,774 --> 00:10:09,784 I'LL STAY HERE AS LONG AS YOU WANT. 205 00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:12,780 - THERE'S T.V. HERE. - THAT'S A SECURITY MONITOR. 206 00:10:12,813 --> 00:10:15,923 IT'S A SCREEN AND IT'S GIVING ME PLEASURE. 207 00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:20,189 Woman over P.A.: Alice, register 2 needs nickels. 208 00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:23,060 HUGO, I'M GONNA BRING NICKELS TO REGISTER 2. 209 00:10:23,090 --> 00:10:25,830 I HEARD. 210 00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:30,862 GABE, WE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE. 211 00:10:30,898 --> 00:10:32,668 ARE YOU GIVING ME PERMISSION TO BE BAD? 212 00:10:32,700 --> 00:10:33,730 - YES. - HOW BAD? 213 00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:35,197 DO WHATEVER IT TAKES. 214 00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:38,735 I'VE BEEN WAITING TO HEAR THOSE WORDS MY WHOLE LIFE. 215 00:10:38,772 --> 00:10:41,012 NO WHISPERING. 216 00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:44,011 HUGO, I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM. 217 00:10:44,044 --> 00:10:46,014 ( mock laugh ) YEAH. 218 00:10:46,046 --> 00:10:48,846 IS THIS SOME KIND OF TRICK? 219 00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:50,752 IT IS-- A MAGIC TRICK. 220 00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:54,054 I DRINK STUFF UP HERE AND IT COMES OUT DOWN HERE. 221 00:10:54,087 --> 00:10:56,017 ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO. 222 00:10:56,056 --> 00:10:58,926 AND YOU, DON'T DO ANYTHING STUPID. 223 00:11:07,768 --> 00:11:09,438 LIKE THAT? 224 00:11:09,469 --> 00:11:11,139 "LIKE THAT?" 225 00:11:17,878 --> 00:11:19,748 ALL RIGHT, LET'S HEAR WHAT YOU GOT. 226 00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:22,020 THIS FIRST SONG IS ONE OF MY PERSONAL FAVORITES. 227 00:11:22,049 --> 00:11:24,849 IT'S CALLED "JINGLE NUMBER ONE." 228 00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:29,186 ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR. 229 00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:32,762 * BOB'S BUGS BE GONE, BUGS BE GONE * 230 00:11:32,793 --> 00:11:34,263 * HE KILLS THEM DEAD DEAD DEAD * 231 00:11:34,294 --> 00:11:38,934 * DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD! * 232 00:11:38,966 --> 00:11:40,866 WHAT DO YOU THINK? 233 00:11:40,901 --> 00:11:44,101 I THINK YOU JUST LOOSENED ONE OF MY FILLINGS. 234 00:11:52,112 --> 00:11:54,752 WHERE'S HUGO? 235 00:11:54,782 --> 00:11:56,152 BATHROOM. 236 00:11:56,183 --> 00:11:57,893 OH, NO. 237 00:11:57,918 --> 00:12:00,148 THAT MEANS I'M IN CHARGE FOR 30 MINUTES. 238 00:12:00,187 --> 00:12:04,157 ( wheezing ) 239 00:12:04,191 --> 00:12:07,861 WHERE HAVE I HEARD THAT BEFORE? 240 00:12:07,895 --> 00:12:09,755 HEARD WHAT? 241 00:12:09,797 --> 00:12:13,067 THE... ( wheezes ) 242 00:12:13,100 --> 00:12:14,770 IN FRENCH CLASS? 243 00:12:14,802 --> 00:12:16,202 OH, YEAH YEAH YEAH. 244 00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:18,206 YOU'RE ALICE WHEEZHEIMER. 245 00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:20,768 IT'S WARTHEIMER. 246 00:12:20,808 --> 00:12:22,108 IT IS? 247 00:12:22,142 --> 00:12:23,912 ARE YOU SURE? 248 00:12:23,944 --> 00:12:26,884 IS THAT WHAT PEOPLE CALL ME BEHIND MY BACK-- 249 00:12:26,914 --> 00:12:28,054 WHEEZHEIMER? 250 00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:30,921 NO, NOT AT ALL. 251 00:12:30,951 --> 00:12:32,851 NOBODY CALLS YOU WHEEZHEIMER 252 00:12:32,886 --> 00:12:34,286 OR WHEEZY. 253 00:12:34,321 --> 00:12:39,091 HUGO CALLS ME ALICE IN WHEEZERLAND. 254 00:12:39,126 --> 00:12:42,156 WHY DO YOU LET HIM TREAT YOU SO BADLY? 255 00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:44,795 HE'S MY BOSS. I HAVE TO. 256 00:12:44,832 --> 00:12:46,932 NO, ALICE, YOU DON'T. 257 00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:48,297 YOU HAVE TO STAND UP FOR YOURSELF. 258 00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:50,935 IF HE YELLS AT YOU, YOU YELL BACK. 259 00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:52,941 OH, I DON'T KNOW. 260 00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:55,813 BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I'M NOT MUCH OF A YELLER. 261 00:12:55,843 --> 00:12:57,883 THIS GUY IS TREATING YOU LIKE A DOORMAT. 262 00:12:57,911 --> 00:13:00,111 - AND THAT'S BAD? - YES. 263 00:13:00,147 --> 00:13:02,347 YOU HAVE TO STAND UP AND SAY, 264 00:13:02,382 --> 00:13:05,192 "YOU CAN'T MESS WITH ME. I'M ALICE WHEEZHEIMER!" 265 00:13:05,218 --> 00:13:06,948 WARTHEIMER! 266 00:13:06,987 --> 00:13:08,957 THAT'S THE FIRE I'M LOOKING FOR, WHEEZY-- 267 00:13:08,989 --> 00:13:10,119 I MEAN WARTY. 268 00:13:13,026 --> 00:13:15,996 HUGO, GET YOUR BUTT IN HERE, 269 00:13:16,029 --> 00:13:18,129 PLEASE. 270 00:13:19,900 --> 00:13:23,000 ( reggae tune playing ) 271 00:13:23,036 --> 00:13:26,836 * DA BUG, MON 272 00:13:26,874 --> 00:13:29,244 * YEAH, DA BUG, MON 273 00:13:29,276 --> 00:13:32,846 * DON'T DELAY, CALL BOB TODAY * 274 00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:36,380 * DIAL THREE 275 00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:39,986 * ZERO 276 00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:43,220 * THREE... 277 00:13:43,256 --> 00:13:44,886 GUYS. 278 00:13:44,925 --> 00:13:47,125 * FI-YI-YI-YIVE-- 279 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,160 GUYS GUYS GUYS. 280 00:13:49,196 --> 00:13:51,226 YOU HAVEN'T HEARD THE SECOND VERSE. THAT'S YOUR FAX NUMBER. 281 00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:53,374 IT'S A 30-SECOND COMMERCIAL. 282 00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:56,600 YOU CAN'T PLACE ARTIFICIAL LIMITS ON OUR ART. 283 00:13:56,636 --> 00:13:59,236 YAH, MON, DA SONG NEEDS TO BREATHE A LITTLE. 284 00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:02,382 LOOK, GUYS, I GAVE YOU A SHOT, 285 00:14:02,409 --> 00:14:04,139 BUT I CAN'T USE ANY OF THESE SONGS. 286 00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:06,277 - WHY NOT? - BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT-- 287 00:14:06,313 --> 00:14:11,083 WHAT'S THE WORD? --GOOD. 288 00:14:11,118 --> 00:14:13,618 P.J., COME ON. 289 00:14:13,653 --> 00:14:16,093 IT'S JUST BUSINESS. IT'S NOT PERSONAL. 290 00:14:20,427 --> 00:14:23,127 SO I GUESS THE POLKA NUMBER'S OUT? 291 00:14:34,041 --> 00:14:36,081 DID YOU JUST TELL ME TO GET MY BUTT IN HERE? 292 00:14:36,109 --> 00:14:38,909 UH UH... 293 00:14:38,946 --> 00:14:40,446 ( wheezing ) 294 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,650 YES, SHE DID. 295 00:14:42,682 --> 00:14:45,052 SHE'S GOT SOMETHING TO SAY TO YOU... 296 00:14:45,085 --> 00:14:48,085 ( wheezing ) 297 00:14:49,422 --> 00:14:51,392 ...WHICH IS 298 00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:53,334 SHE'S NOT YOUR DOORMAT, OKAY? 299 00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:56,100 SHE DESERVES TO BE TREATED WITH RESPECT. 300 00:14:56,129 --> 00:14:58,169 HOW DARE YOU TALK TO ME THAT WAY? 301 00:14:58,198 --> 00:15:03,068 SHE'S GONNA TALK TO YOU ANY WAY I WANT TO TALK TO YOU FOR HER ABOUT. 302 00:15:03,103 --> 00:15:06,273 Woman over P.A.: Price check on aisle 1, 303 00:15:06,306 --> 00:15:09,336 volcanic geyser on aisle 2. 304 00:15:16,083 --> 00:15:17,383 THIS ENDS NOW. 305 00:15:19,119 --> 00:15:21,189 LET'S GO, CHARLIE. WE'RE BUSTING OUT OF HERE. 306 00:15:28,996 --> 00:15:30,356 ( laughing ) 307 00:15:30,397 --> 00:15:33,527 YOU LITTLE--! 308 00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:41,511 COME OUT, COME OUT, WHEREVER YOU ARE. 309 00:15:46,013 --> 00:15:49,353 JALAPENO-STYLE. 310 00:15:59,559 --> 00:16:01,289 ( laughing ) 311 00:16:14,074 --> 00:16:17,444 HUGO, CATCH ME IF YOU CAN. 312 00:16:29,789 --> 00:16:33,189 GABRIEL! 313 00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:52,209 CLEAN UP ON AISLE... EVERYWHERE. 314 00:16:59,086 --> 00:17:01,116 HEY. 315 00:17:01,154 --> 00:17:02,794 YOU OKAY? 316 00:17:02,822 --> 00:17:05,232 - DAD, CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING? - SURE. 317 00:17:05,258 --> 00:17:10,058 DO YOU THINK I SHOULD GIVE UP MY DREAM OF BEING A MUSICIAN? 318 00:17:10,097 --> 00:17:11,557 WELL, I THINK THE ONLY PERSON 319 00:17:11,598 --> 00:17:13,498 THAT CAN ANSWER THAT QUESTION IS YOU. 320 00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:16,503 THEN THE ANSWER IS NO. 321 00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:18,366 I'M NOT GIVING UP. 322 00:17:18,405 --> 00:17:21,165 GOOD. THAT'S GOOD. 323 00:17:21,208 --> 00:17:23,508 YOU DON'T WANT TO HAVE ANY REGRETS. 324 00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:25,513 - I SHOULD KNOW. - WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 325 00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:28,475 I HAD A DREAM TOO. 326 00:17:28,515 --> 00:17:33,085 I WAS GONNA BE A PROFESSIONAL WRESTLER, MAN. 327 00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:36,320 I WAS GONNA CALL MYSELF "BOBZILLA." 328 00:17:36,356 --> 00:17:38,826 BOBZILLA? 329 00:17:38,858 --> 00:17:41,528 MAYBE FIVE MORE MINUTES ON THE NAME, DAD. 330 00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:43,501 WELL, IT ALL WORKED OUT FINE. 331 00:17:43,530 --> 00:17:47,200 I'VE GOT A NICE LIFE AND A WONDERFUL FAMILY. 332 00:17:47,234 --> 00:17:49,604 BESIDES, YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO SEE YOUR DAD ON T.V., 333 00:17:49,636 --> 00:17:52,206 - BEATING UP OTHER GUYS, WOULD YOU? - THAT WOULD BE AWESOME. 334 00:17:52,239 --> 00:17:55,379 I KNOW. SO AWESOME, RIGHT? 335 00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:57,378 WELL, I'M NOT GIVING UP. IN FACT, 336 00:17:57,410 --> 00:18:00,480 I USED THE PAIN OF REJECTION TO WRITE ANOTHER SONG. 337 00:18:00,513 --> 00:18:02,453 GOOD FOR YOU. CAN I HEAR IT? 338 00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:10,194 * THE BUG MAN CRUSHED MY DREAMS * 339 00:18:10,223 --> 00:18:15,263 * EVERYTHING I WANTED TO BE * 340 00:18:15,295 --> 00:18:18,665 * BOB'S BUGS BE GONE 341 00:18:18,698 --> 00:18:22,338 * WAS THE DEATH OF ME. 342 00:18:26,539 --> 00:18:29,279 YOU KNOW WHAT? 343 00:18:29,309 --> 00:18:31,309 I THINK YOU SPEED THAT UP, 344 00:18:31,344 --> 00:18:33,314 HAVE A BUG SING IT AND WE'VE GOT OUR NEW JINGLE. 345 00:18:33,346 --> 00:18:35,316 - ARE YOU SERIOUS? - I'M DEAD SERIOUS. 346 00:18:35,348 --> 00:18:36,418 YES! 347 00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:38,149 I DID IT! 348 00:18:38,185 --> 00:18:40,585 NOW ALL I HAVE TO DO IS FIND A SINGING BUG. 349 00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:48,599 ( doorbell rings ) 350 00:18:51,331 --> 00:18:53,201 ALICE. 351 00:18:53,233 --> 00:18:54,703 HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON? 352 00:18:54,734 --> 00:18:57,704 I WANTED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. 353 00:18:57,737 --> 00:19:00,707 WHAT WAS IT? 354 00:19:00,740 --> 00:19:03,610 OH, I GOT FIRED. 355 00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:06,483 THAT'S TERRIBLE. I'M SO SORRY. 356 00:19:06,513 --> 00:19:08,423 NO, IT'S WONDERFUL. 357 00:19:08,448 --> 00:19:12,418 THEN CONGRATULATIONS. 358 00:19:12,452 --> 00:19:15,622 AFTER I TURNED IN MY SMOCK, GUESS WHAT? 359 00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:19,225 - I STOPPED WHEEZING. - THAT'S GREAT. 360 00:19:19,259 --> 00:19:21,229 WELL, IT'S ONLY BEEN AN HOUR 361 00:19:21,261 --> 00:19:24,301 AND THE POLLEN COUNT IS LOW. 362 00:19:24,331 --> 00:19:28,671 WELL, LET'S KEEP OUR FINGERS CROSSED. 363 00:19:28,701 --> 00:19:31,641 ANYWAY, I JUST WANTED TO THANK YOU 364 00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:34,241 FOR HELPING ME STAND UP TO HUGO. 365 00:19:34,274 --> 00:19:36,484 SEE YOU IN FRENCH CLASS. 366 00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:38,679 HEY, ALICE, 367 00:19:38,711 --> 00:19:41,351 WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME TO A PARTY? 368 00:19:41,381 --> 00:19:43,321 REALLY? 369 00:19:43,350 --> 00:19:45,990 I'VE NEVER BEEN INVITED TO A PARTY. 370 00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:48,358 - NEVER? - NOPE. 371 00:19:48,388 --> 00:19:50,388 I THREW ONE ONCE FOR ARBOR DAY. 372 00:19:50,423 --> 00:19:52,693 NOBODY CAME. 373 00:19:52,725 --> 00:19:55,425 JUST ME AND A TREE. 374 00:19:55,462 --> 00:19:59,732 WELL, NO TREES AT THIS PARTY, JUST LOTS OF CUTE BOYS. 375 00:19:59,766 --> 00:20:02,296 OH, CUTE BOYS ARE BETTER THAN TREES. 376 00:20:02,335 --> 00:20:04,335 BUT YOU DO REALIZE 377 00:20:04,371 --> 00:20:06,541 YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO TALK TO THEM, RIGHT? 378 00:20:06,573 --> 00:20:09,283 SURE, NO PROBLEM. 379 00:20:09,309 --> 00:20:12,449 ( wheezing ) 380 00:20:12,479 --> 00:20:14,579 OR I'LL TALK TO THEM FOR YOU. 381 00:20:21,521 --> 00:20:24,291 Well, Charlie, what a day. 382 00:20:24,324 --> 00:20:26,294 You almost got us arrested. 383 00:20:26,326 --> 00:20:28,296 I had an awesome time at Spencer's party. 384 00:20:28,328 --> 00:20:31,628 And we totally trashed a store. 385 00:20:31,664 --> 00:20:34,304 But amazingly, Mom and Dad never found out, 386 00:20:34,334 --> 00:20:37,274 so I think we got away with it. 387 00:20:37,304 --> 00:20:39,414 Teddy, honey, can I ask you a question? 388 00:20:39,439 --> 00:20:41,009 Sure, Mom. 389 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:45,380 Why is Charlie's mug shot all over the Reddi Mart? 390 00:20:49,349 --> 00:20:52,549 If I go down, I'm taking you with me. 391 00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:55,285 Good luck, Charlie. 392 00:21:01,361 --> 00:21:02,731 And now for the main event. 393 00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:06,372 IN THIS CORNER, HE'S NASTY, HE'S DIRTY, 394 00:21:06,399 --> 00:21:08,569 HE LIVES UNDER THE REFRIGERATOR, 395 00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:12,671 LADIES AND GERMS, THE ROACH! 396 00:21:15,375 --> 00:21:17,035 AND IN THIS CORNER, 397 00:21:17,076 --> 00:21:19,346 HE'S THE BEST AT CONTROLLING THE PEST, 398 00:21:19,379 --> 00:21:22,479 THE MAN WITH THE PLAN TO PUT THE BUG IN THE CAN, 399 00:21:22,515 --> 00:21:26,385 THE CHAMPION, BOBZILLA! 400 00:21:29,389 --> 00:21:31,619 * THE BUG MAN CRUSHED MY DREAMS * 401 00:21:31,658 --> 00:21:33,728 * EVERYTHING I WANTED TO BE * 402 00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:36,830 * BOB'S BUGS BE GONE WAS THE DEATH OF ME. * 403 00:21:36,863 --> 00:21:39,403 ( bell dings ) 404 00:21:39,432 --> 00:21:40,472 I'M BOB 405 00:21:40,500 --> 00:21:42,370 FROM BOB'S BUGS BE GONE. 406 00:21:42,402 --> 00:21:43,872 YOU CALL ME 407 00:21:43,903 --> 00:21:45,873 FOR ALL YOUR PEST CONTROL NEEDS. 408 00:21:45,905 --> 00:21:47,865 I WILL KILL 409 00:21:47,907 --> 00:21:50,337 YOUR BUG'S DREAMS! 410 00:21:50,377 --> 00:21:53,447 Announcer: AFFILIATED WITHONE IS NOT 411 00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:55,720 ROBERT'S BUGS BE GONE OR BOB'S BUGS BE GOOD. 412 00:21:55,748 --> 00:21:58,348 BOB IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR PROPERTY DAMAGE 413 00:21:58,385 --> 00:22:00,685 DUE TO THE HIVE REMOVAL, LARVAL DISPERSION. OR 414 00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:04,490 BOB'S BUGS BE GONE THAN 5 1/2 FEET IN LENGTH,GER 415 00:22:04,524 --> 00:22:06,734 ARACHNIDS WITH TWO THORAXES, BATS OF ANY KIND 416 00:22:06,759 --> 00:22:08,459 OR THE DREADED VINEGAROON. 417 00:22:08,495 --> 00:22:10,495 BOB OFFERS FREE TERMITE INSPECTIONS 418 00:22:10,530 --> 00:22:12,500 AND $30 OFF WITH A PURCHASE OF AN ANNUAL CONTRACT. 419 00:22:12,532 --> 00:22:13,902 BOB IS AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY EMPLOYER. 420 00:22:13,933 --> 00:22:15,943 SE HABLA ESPANOL. 29272

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