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1
00:00:05,873 --> 00:00:07,443
SO THEN SPENCER SAID,
2
00:00:07,475 --> 00:00:09,175
"ARE YOU COMING
TO MY PARTY TONIGHT?"
3
00:00:09,210 --> 00:00:11,280
AND INSIDE I WAS LIKE,
"WAAH!"
4
00:00:11,312 --> 00:00:15,452
BUT ON THE OUTSIDE
I WAS LIKE, "SURE, WHATEVS."
5
00:00:15,483 --> 00:00:19,093
SO THEN I SAID,
"WHAT SHOULD I BRING?"
6
00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:22,090
AND HE SAID,
"JUST YOUR CUTE SELF."
7
00:00:22,123 --> 00:00:26,193
AND THAT TIME I DID SAY,
"WAAH!"
8
00:00:26,227 --> 00:00:28,197
- HI, HONEY.
- OH, HEY, MOM.
9
00:00:28,229 --> 00:00:29,599
HOMEWORK CALL.
10
00:00:29,630 --> 00:00:31,300
SORRY.
WHERE'S CHARLIE?
11
00:00:31,332 --> 00:00:33,132
KITCHEN, WITH GABE.
12
00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:41,141
CHARLIE DID IT.
13
00:00:41,175 --> 00:00:43,075
WHAT IN THE WORLD?
14
00:00:43,111 --> 00:00:46,481
WELL, CHARLIE ASKED
FOR A MILKSHAKE.
15
00:00:46,514 --> 00:00:49,224
LIKE A GOOD BIG BROTHER,
I DECIDED TO MAKE ONE.
16
00:00:49,250 --> 00:00:52,220
THEN SHE FORGOT TO PUT
THE TOP ON THE BLENDER.
17
00:00:52,253 --> 00:00:55,163
SO YOU PUT
YOUR BABY SISTER
18
00:00:55,189 --> 00:00:57,329
IN CHARGE OF
AN ELECTRICAL APPLIANCE?
19
00:00:57,358 --> 00:00:59,628
AND SHE LET ME DOWN.
20
00:00:59,660 --> 00:01:01,460
TEDDY, GET IN HERE.
21
00:01:01,495 --> 00:01:04,625
MOM, I'M ON THE--
WOW.
22
00:01:06,234 --> 00:01:08,104
GOTTA CALL YOU BACK.
23
00:01:08,136 --> 00:01:10,136
CARE TO EXPLAIN
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
24
00:01:10,171 --> 00:01:14,481
UH, A CHOCOLATE BOMB
WENT OFF?
25
00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:16,478
I ASKED IF WE COULD
MAKE MILKSHAKES
26
00:01:16,510 --> 00:01:19,610
AND TEDDY DID THIS.
27
00:01:19,647 --> 00:01:22,247
AND THEN
SHE STARTED TALKING
ABOUT HER PARTY AGAIN.
28
00:01:24,685 --> 00:01:27,255
THAT'S WHAT WE CALL
HOMEWORK SOMETIMES--
29
00:01:27,288 --> 00:01:31,188
A PARTY--
'CAUSE IT'S SO FUN.
30
00:01:31,225 --> 00:01:33,185
OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
THAT'S IT.
31
00:01:33,227 --> 00:01:35,197
NO T.V., NO COMPUTER,
NO VIDEO GAMES
32
00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:36,859
FOR THE REST
OF THE DAY.
33
00:01:36,897 --> 00:01:39,127
- I THINK THAT'S FAIR.
- AND YOU'RE WATCHING HIM.
34
00:01:39,167 --> 00:01:41,267
THAT'S SO UNFAIR!
35
00:01:41,302 --> 00:01:42,472
AND CHARLIE.
36
00:01:42,503 --> 00:01:44,513
MOM, I HAVE TO GET READY
FOR MY PARTY.
37
00:01:44,538 --> 00:01:47,208
THAT'S JUST TOO BAD.
AND WHAT DID I TELL YOU
ABOUT LYING?
38
00:01:47,241 --> 00:01:50,511
IT ONLY WORKS ON DAD.
39
00:01:50,544 --> 00:01:54,184
NOW BOTH OF YOU,
CLEAN THIS MESS UP.
40
00:01:54,215 --> 00:01:56,245
MY POOR LITTLE BABY.
41
00:01:56,284 --> 00:01:59,194
I GOTTA GIVE YOU A BATH.
MWAH.
42
00:01:59,220 --> 00:02:03,160
OR I COULD JUST
LICK YOU CLEAN.
43
00:02:03,191 --> 00:02:04,431
( rock music playing )
44
00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:06,258
* TODAY'S ALL BURNT TOAST
45
00:02:06,294 --> 00:02:07,564
* RUNNING LATE,
AND DAD SAYS *
46
00:02:07,595 --> 00:02:10,225
* HAS ANYBODY
SEEN MY LEFT SHOE? *
47
00:02:10,264 --> 00:02:12,404
* I CLOSE MY EYES,
TAKE A BITE *
48
00:02:12,433 --> 00:02:14,243
* GRAB A RIDE,
LAUGH OUT LOUD *
49
00:02:14,268 --> 00:02:16,938
* THERE IT IS
UP ON THE ROOF *
50
00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:20,170
* I'VE BEEN THERE,
I'VE SURVIVED *
51
00:02:20,208 --> 00:02:23,438
* SO JUST TAKE
MY ADVICE *
52
00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:25,577
* HANG IN THERE, BABY
53
00:02:25,613 --> 00:02:27,323
* THINGS ARE CRAZY
54
00:02:27,348 --> 00:02:30,278
* BUT I KNOW
YOUR FUTURE'S BRIGHT *
55
00:02:30,318 --> 00:02:32,188
* HANG IN THERE, BABY
56
00:02:32,220 --> 00:02:33,720
* THERE'S NO MAYBE
57
00:02:33,754 --> 00:02:36,594
* EVERYTHING
TURNS OUT ALL RIGHT *
58
00:02:36,624 --> 00:02:39,334
* YOUR LIFE
IS UP AND DOWN *
59
00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:42,460
* BUT TRUST ME,
IT COMES BACK AROUND *
60
00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:46,596
* YOU'RE GONNA LOVE
WHO YOU TURN OUT TO BE *
61
00:02:48,269 --> 00:02:50,639
* HANG IN THERE, BABY.
62
00:03:00,381 --> 00:03:02,581
- GOOD MORNING, DAD.
LAWN TODAY?ET TO THAT
63
00:03:02,616 --> 00:03:04,586
YOU KNOW, WHEN SOMEONE
SAYS "GOOD MORNING,"
64
00:03:04,618 --> 00:03:08,358
THE TRADITIONAL RESPONSE
IS "GOOD MORNING" BACK.
65
00:03:08,389 --> 00:03:10,489
SORRY.
66
00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:13,464
YOU GONNA GET
TO THAT LAWN TODAY?
67
00:03:13,494 --> 00:03:14,634
SO WHERE YOU OFF TO?
68
00:03:14,662 --> 00:03:17,002
I'M MEETING WITH SOME
JINGLE WRITERS,
69
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:19,530
GETTING READY
FOR BOB'S BUGS BE GONE.AL
70
00:03:19,567 --> 00:03:22,237
A JINGLE?
THAT'S LIKE A SONG, RIGHT?
71
00:03:22,270 --> 00:03:24,640
THAT'S RIGHT, A CATCHY LITTLE
TUNE THAT STICKS IN YOUR HEAD
72
00:03:24,672 --> 00:03:26,642
AND DRIVES YOU
JUST A LITTLE BIT CRAZY.
73
00:03:26,674 --> 00:03:30,644
YOU KNOW EMMETT AND I
HAVE A BAND, RIGHT?
74
00:03:30,678 --> 00:03:33,378
YOU KNOW WE HAVE
A LAWN MOWER, RIGHT?
75
00:03:33,414 --> 00:03:36,524
DON'T YOU THINK
AT WRITING YOUR JINGLE?OT
76
00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:39,520
P.J., COME ON,
BUT I NEED A PROFESSIONAL.YOU,
77
00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:41,763
COME ON,
JUST GIVE US A CHANCE.
78
00:03:41,789 --> 00:03:44,559
ALL RIGHT, OKAY.
AT IT, KNOCK YOURSELVES OUT.T
79
00:03:44,592 --> 00:03:46,262
YOU WILL NOT BE SORRY.
80
00:03:46,294 --> 00:03:48,664
AND THEN ONE DAY
WHEN I ACCEPT MY GRAMMY
81
00:03:48,696 --> 00:03:51,696
FOR BEST EXTERMINATOR JINGLE,
I'M GONNA SAY,
82
00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:55,402
"THIS ONE'S FOR YOU, DAD.
83
00:03:55,436 --> 00:03:57,506
AND MY GIRLFRIEND
TAYLOR SWIFT.
84
00:03:57,538 --> 00:04:00,668
WHAT UP, TAY-TAY?"
85
00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:11,820
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
86
00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:14,622
NO T.V., NO COMPUTER,
NO VIDEO GAMES.
87
00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:16,385
I'M FREAKING OUT.
88
00:04:16,424 --> 00:04:18,394
WHY DON'T YOU
READ A BOOK?
89
00:04:18,426 --> 00:04:21,056
SURE, RIGHT AFTER
I CLEAN MY ROOM.
90
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:24,304
DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME?
91
00:04:24,332 --> 00:04:26,732
YOU'RE A STRANGE
LITTLE DUDE.
92
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,037
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
93
00:04:28,068 --> 00:04:29,598
TO THE STORE.
WE'RE OUT OF DIAPERS.
94
00:04:29,637 --> 00:04:31,067
PLEASE TAKE ME
WITH YOU.
95
00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,774
YOU WANNA GO SHOPPING
FOR DIAPERS?
96
00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:34,776
NO, BUT I WILL NOT
STAY HERE
97
00:04:34,808 --> 00:04:37,708
AND HAVE THESE MACHINES
MOCK ME.
98
00:04:37,745 --> 00:04:41,375
AGAIN, A STRANGE
LITTLE DUDE.
99
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:49,717
OKAY, READ BACK
WHAT WE HAVE SO FAR.
100
00:04:49,757 --> 00:04:52,457
OKAY.
"JINGLE NUMBER ONE,
101
00:04:52,493 --> 00:04:56,063
WRITTEN BY
P.J. AND EMMETT."
102
00:04:56,096 --> 00:04:59,066
THAT'S IT.
103
00:04:59,099 --> 00:05:02,869
THINK.
GOTTA THINK.
104
00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:04,813
OH, HEY, MY DAD'S NAME
IS BOB.
105
00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:07,538
MAYBE WE SHOULD THINK OF
THINGS THAT RHYME WITH "BOB."
106
00:05:07,575 --> 00:05:10,575
HOW ABOUT BLOB,
GLOB AND SLOB?
107
00:05:11,779 --> 00:05:14,349
I'M DOING A LOAD
OF HIS WHITES.
108
00:05:14,382 --> 00:05:16,722
MAN, WRITING A JINGLE
IS HARDER THAN I THOUGHT.
109
00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:18,750
MOM, WE NEED
SOME INSPIRATION.
110
00:05:18,786 --> 00:05:20,616
WELL, LUCKY FOR YOU,
111
00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:22,694
I WROTE QUITE A BIT OF
POETRY IN HIGH SCHOOL.
112
00:05:22,723 --> 00:05:25,363
PUBLISHED FIVE TIMES
IN THE SCHOOL'S
LITERARY MAGAZINE--
113
00:05:25,393 --> 00:05:27,703
WHATEVER.
114
00:05:27,728 --> 00:05:29,698
ACTUALLY,
I WAS THINKING
115
00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:32,370
YOU COULD INSPIRE US
WITH SOME SANDWICHES.
116
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:34,800
MY FIRST PIECE OR--
BACK IT UP--
117
00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:37,635
SHOULD I SAY
MY FIRST PUBLISHED PIECE
118
00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:40,871
IS CALLED SIMPLY
"LOCKER."
119
00:05:40,908 --> 00:05:44,378
THAT'S GREAT.
I'LL TAKE A HAM AND CHEESE--
120
00:05:44,412 --> 00:05:49,152
"HEY THERE, LOCKER,
121
00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:53,652
FILLED WITH MY BOOKS
AND PAPERS
122
00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:56,917
AND SECRETS.
123
00:05:56,957 --> 00:06:01,527
I CAN'T REMEMBER
YOUR COMBINATION.
124
00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:03,862
37 RIGHT,
17 LEFT,
125
00:06:03,897 --> 00:06:08,867
BUT THEN WHAT?
126
00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:11,442
AM I LOCKED OUT
127
00:06:11,472 --> 00:06:13,812
OR ARE YOU LOCKED IN?"
128
00:06:13,841 --> 00:06:15,941
( cymbals crash )
129
00:06:19,847 --> 00:06:22,677
SO GOOD.
SO GOOD.
130
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:24,846
IT'S STILL SO GOOD.
131
00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:28,385
YOU WANNA DO THIS
AT MY HOUSE?
132
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:42,970
WELL WELL WELL,
133
00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:45,913
GABRIEL B. DUNCAN.
134
00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:48,439
AFTERNOON, HUGO.
135
00:06:48,476 --> 00:06:49,806
THE MANAGER
KNOWS YOU?
136
00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:52,953
WE HAVE A HISTORY, YES.
137
00:06:52,980 --> 00:06:54,980
A WORD OF ADVICE, DUNCAN--
138
00:06:55,015 --> 00:06:57,745
YOU KNOCK OVER A DISPLAY
OR JOY-RIDE A SHOPPING CART,
139
00:06:57,785 --> 00:07:01,915
AND I WILL PERSONALLY OPEN
A CAN OF REDDI MART'S
FINEST BUTT-KICK.
140
00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:03,985
HEY, HAVE YOU
LOST WEIGHT?
141
00:07:04,024 --> 00:07:06,594
JUST KIDDING.
142
00:07:07,795 --> 00:07:09,995
I'M WATCHING YOU, PUNK.
143
00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:14,865
SODA AND MINTS?
WHAT ARE THESE FOR?
144
00:07:14,902 --> 00:07:16,872
I'M GONNA MAKE
A SODA GEYSER.
145
00:07:16,904 --> 00:07:18,214
YOU DROP A MINT
INTO THE BOTTLE
146
00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:20,468
AND IT MAKES THIS
HUGE EXPLOSION.
147
00:07:20,508 --> 00:07:22,908
WOW, THAT SOUNDS
SO COOL.
148
00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:24,953
PUT THEM BACK.
149
00:07:24,978 --> 00:07:27,848
HOW COME YOU GET
TO BUY LIP GLOSS
AND I CAN'T BUY THIS STUFF?
150
00:07:27,881 --> 00:07:29,821
IT'S COMPLETELY
DIFFERENT.
151
00:07:29,850 --> 00:07:32,920
SODA AND MINTS WON'T MAKE YOU
LOOK TOTALLY CUTE AT A PARTY.
152
00:07:35,656 --> 00:07:38,686
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
153
00:07:41,829 --> 00:07:44,929
( alarm blaring )
154
00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:47,735
WHAT'S GOING ON?
155
00:07:47,768 --> 00:07:50,268
WHY, IT'S GABE.
I MUST BE GETTING PSYCHIC.
156
00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:51,973
I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.
157
00:07:52,005 --> 00:07:54,905
MM-HMM, COME ON.
158
00:07:54,942 --> 00:07:57,712
RECEIPT.
159
00:07:57,745 --> 00:07:59,875
THERE YOU GO.
160
00:07:59,913 --> 00:08:02,783
HUH, I'M SEEING
DIAPERS,
161
00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:05,516
BUT I'M NOT SEEING
SUNGLASSES. EXPLAIN.
162
00:08:05,553 --> 00:08:07,993
EXPLANATION--
WE DIDN'T GET SUNGLASSES.
163
00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:09,821
WELL, SOMEONE DID.
164
00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:14,294
( both laughing )
165
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:16,027
CHARLIE DID IT.
166
00:08:16,063 --> 00:08:17,973
THIS TIME
SHE REALLY DID DO IT.
167
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:19,798
SHE MUST HAVE GRABBED THESE
WHEN WE WEREN'T LOOKING.
168
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:22,003
- THAT'S SO FUNNY.
- YOU SEE ME LAUGHING?
169
00:08:22,035 --> 00:08:26,665
THERE'S NOTHING FUNNY
ABOUT SHOPLIFTING.
170
00:08:26,707 --> 00:08:29,807
IN CASE YOU
DIDN'T NOTICE, HUGO,
WE'RE STILL IN THE STORE.
171
00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:32,883
UNPAID ITEMS
ARE CONSIDERED STOLEN
ONCE THEY LEAVE CHECKOUT.
172
00:08:32,913 --> 00:08:36,883
IN CASE YOU DIDN'T NOTICE,
WE DON'T HAVE CASH REGISTERS
IN THE PARKING LOT.
173
00:08:36,917 --> 00:08:38,887
TELL ALICE
TO CALL THE POLICE.
174
00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:41,659
THE POLICE?
YOU'RE ARRESTING A BABY?
175
00:08:41,689 --> 00:08:43,789
OR A VERY SMALL PERSON.
176
00:08:43,824 --> 00:08:45,664
WE DON'T HAVE
ALL THE FACTS YET.
177
00:09:00,674 --> 00:09:03,744
TURN HER
TO THE LEFT.
178
00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:05,877
DON'T YOU THINK
IT'S A LITTLE RIDICULOUS
179
00:09:05,913 --> 00:09:07,923
TO TAKE MUG SHOTS
OF A BABY?
180
00:09:07,948 --> 00:09:09,948
THAT'S PROCEDURE
FOR SHOPLIFTERS.
181
00:09:09,983 --> 00:09:11,723
TURN HER
TO THE RIGHT.
182
00:09:11,752 --> 00:09:15,062
OKAY, CHARLIE,
SMILE FOR HUGE-OH.
183
00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:17,658
STICKS AND STONES
MAY BREAK MY BONES--
184
00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:19,161
AGH!
185
00:09:24,965 --> 00:09:27,125
ARE THESE
THE SHOPLIFTERS?
186
00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:28,837
THAT'S RIGHT.
THE PERP IS
IN THE STROLLER.
187
00:09:28,869 --> 00:09:30,639
SHE'S NOT A PERP.
SHE'S A BABY.
188
00:09:30,671 --> 00:09:32,641
STILL UNDETERMINED.
189
00:09:32,673 --> 00:09:35,013
I CALLED THE POLICE,
BUT THEY SAID THIS WAS
LOW PRIORITY
190
00:09:35,042 --> 00:09:37,782
AND THEY WOULDN'T BE HERE
FOR THREE OR FOUR HOURS.
191
00:09:37,811 --> 00:09:39,651
THREE OR FOUR HOURS?
192
00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:41,620
ALICE, WHY CAN'T YOU
DO ANYTHING RIGHT?
193
00:09:41,649 --> 00:09:42,949
IT'S NOT MY FAULT.
PLEASE DON'T YELL AT ME.
194
00:09:42,983 --> 00:09:44,653
HOW MANY TIMES
HAVE WE BEEN OVER THIS?
195
00:09:44,685 --> 00:09:45,985
WHENEVER YOU TELL ME
NOT TO YELL AT YOU,
196
00:09:46,019 --> 00:09:48,619
IT MAKES ME WANT
TO YELL AT YOU!
197
00:09:48,656 --> 00:09:51,756
HI, AS ENTERTAINING AND
TWISTED AS THIS ALL IS,
198
00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:54,162
CAN WE PLEASE
MOVE IT ALONG?
I HAVE A PARTY TO GO TO.
199
00:09:54,194 --> 00:09:56,904
- YOU'RE GOING TO A PARTY?
- YES.
200
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:58,670
THAT MUST BE NICE.
201
00:09:58,699 --> 00:10:02,699
NITWIT, DO NOT FRATERNIZE
WITH THE SUSPECTS.
202
00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:04,736
MIGHT AS WELL MAKE
YOURSELVES COMFORTABLE,
203
00:10:04,772 --> 00:10:06,742
LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE GONNA
BE HERE A WHILE.
204
00:10:06,774 --> 00:10:09,784
I'LL STAY HERE
AS LONG AS YOU WANT.
205
00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:12,780
- THERE'S T.V. HERE.
- THAT'S A SECURITY MONITOR.
206
00:10:12,813 --> 00:10:15,923
IT'S A SCREEN
AND IT'S GIVING ME PLEASURE.
207
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:20,189
Woman over P.A.:
Alice, register 2
needs nickels.
208
00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:23,060
HUGO, I'M GONNA BRING
NICKELS TO REGISTER 2.
209
00:10:23,090 --> 00:10:25,830
I HEARD.
210
00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:30,862
GABE, WE GOTTA
GET OUT OF HERE.
211
00:10:30,898 --> 00:10:32,668
ARE YOU GIVING ME
PERMISSION TO BE BAD?
212
00:10:32,700 --> 00:10:33,730
- YES.
- HOW BAD?
213
00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:35,197
DO WHATEVER IT TAKES.
214
00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:38,735
I'VE BEEN WAITING TO HEAR
THOSE WORDS MY WHOLE LIFE.
215
00:10:38,772 --> 00:10:41,012
NO WHISPERING.
216
00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:44,011
HUGO, I HAVE TO GO
TO THE BATHROOM.
217
00:10:44,044 --> 00:10:46,014
( mock laugh )
YEAH.
218
00:10:46,046 --> 00:10:48,846
IS THIS
SOME KIND OF TRICK?
219
00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:50,752
IT IS--
A MAGIC TRICK.
220
00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:54,054
I DRINK STUFF UP HERE
AND IT COMES OUT DOWN HERE.
221
00:10:54,087 --> 00:10:56,017
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO.
222
00:10:56,056 --> 00:10:58,926
AND YOU, DON'T DO
ANYTHING STUPID.
223
00:11:07,768 --> 00:11:09,438
LIKE THAT?
224
00:11:09,469 --> 00:11:11,139
"LIKE THAT?"
225
00:11:17,878 --> 00:11:19,748
ALL RIGHT, LET'S HEAR
WHAT YOU GOT.
226
00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:22,020
THIS FIRST SONG IS ONE
OF MY PERSONAL FAVORITES.
227
00:11:22,049 --> 00:11:24,849
IT'S CALLED
"JINGLE NUMBER ONE."
228
00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:29,186
ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR.
229
00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:32,762
* BOB'S BUGS BE GONE,
BUGS BE GONE *
230
00:11:32,793 --> 00:11:34,263
* HE KILLS THEM
DEAD DEAD DEAD *
231
00:11:34,294 --> 00:11:38,934
* DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD
DEAD DEAD! *
232
00:11:38,966 --> 00:11:40,866
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
233
00:11:40,901 --> 00:11:44,101
I THINK YOU JUST LOOSENED
ONE OF MY FILLINGS.
234
00:11:52,112 --> 00:11:54,752
WHERE'S HUGO?
235
00:11:54,782 --> 00:11:56,152
BATHROOM.
236
00:11:56,183 --> 00:11:57,893
OH, NO.
237
00:11:57,918 --> 00:12:00,148
THAT MEANS I'M IN CHARGE
FOR 30 MINUTES.
238
00:12:00,187 --> 00:12:04,157
( wheezing )
239
00:12:04,191 --> 00:12:07,861
WHERE HAVE I HEARD
THAT BEFORE?
240
00:12:07,895 --> 00:12:09,755
HEARD WHAT?
241
00:12:09,797 --> 00:12:13,067
THE... ( wheezes )
242
00:12:13,100 --> 00:12:14,770
IN FRENCH CLASS?
243
00:12:14,802 --> 00:12:16,202
OH, YEAH YEAH YEAH.
244
00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:18,206
YOU'RE ALICE WHEEZHEIMER.
245
00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:20,768
IT'S WARTHEIMER.
246
00:12:20,808 --> 00:12:22,108
IT IS?
247
00:12:22,142 --> 00:12:23,912
ARE YOU SURE?
248
00:12:23,944 --> 00:12:26,884
IS THAT WHAT PEOPLE
CALL ME BEHIND MY BACK--
249
00:12:26,914 --> 00:12:28,054
WHEEZHEIMER?
250
00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:30,921
NO, NOT AT ALL.
251
00:12:30,951 --> 00:12:32,851
NOBODY CALLS YOU
WHEEZHEIMER
252
00:12:32,886 --> 00:12:34,286
OR WHEEZY.
253
00:12:34,321 --> 00:12:39,091
HUGO CALLS ME
ALICE IN WHEEZERLAND.
254
00:12:39,126 --> 00:12:42,156
WHY DO YOU LET HIM
TREAT YOU SO BADLY?
255
00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:44,795
HE'S MY BOSS.
I HAVE TO.
256
00:12:44,832 --> 00:12:46,932
NO, ALICE, YOU DON'T.
257
00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:48,297
YOU HAVE TO
STAND UP FOR YOURSELF.
258
00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:50,935
IF HE YELLS AT YOU,
YOU YELL BACK.
259
00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:52,941
OH, I DON'T KNOW.
260
00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:55,813
BELIEVE IT OR NOT,
I'M NOT MUCH OF A YELLER.
261
00:12:55,843 --> 00:12:57,883
THIS GUY IS TREATING YOU
LIKE A DOORMAT.
262
00:12:57,911 --> 00:13:00,111
- AND THAT'S BAD?
- YES.
263
00:13:00,147 --> 00:13:02,347
YOU HAVE TO STAND UP
AND SAY,
264
00:13:02,382 --> 00:13:05,192
"YOU CAN'T MESS WITH ME.
I'M ALICE WHEEZHEIMER!"
265
00:13:05,218 --> 00:13:06,948
WARTHEIMER!
266
00:13:06,987 --> 00:13:08,957
THAT'S THE FIRE
I'M LOOKING FOR, WHEEZY--
267
00:13:08,989 --> 00:13:10,119
I MEAN WARTY.
268
00:13:13,026 --> 00:13:15,996
HUGO, GET YOUR BUTT
IN HERE,
269
00:13:16,029 --> 00:13:18,129
PLEASE.
270
00:13:19,900 --> 00:13:23,000
( reggae tune playing )
271
00:13:23,036 --> 00:13:26,836
* DA BUG, MON
272
00:13:26,874 --> 00:13:29,244
* YEAH, DA BUG, MON
273
00:13:29,276 --> 00:13:32,846
* DON'T DELAY,
CALL BOB TODAY *
274
00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:36,380
* DIAL THREE
275
00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:39,986
* ZERO
276
00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:43,220
* THREE...
277
00:13:43,256 --> 00:13:44,886
GUYS.
278
00:13:44,925 --> 00:13:47,125
* FI-YI-YI-YIVE--
279
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,160
GUYS GUYS GUYS.
280
00:13:49,196 --> 00:13:51,226
YOU HAVEN'T
HEARD THE SECOND VERSE.
THAT'S YOUR FAX NUMBER.
281
00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:53,374
IT'S A 30-SECOND
COMMERCIAL.
282
00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:56,600
YOU CAN'T PLACE ARTIFICIAL
LIMITS ON OUR ART.
283
00:13:56,636 --> 00:13:59,236
YAH, MON, DA SONG NEEDS
TO BREATHE A LITTLE.
284
00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:02,382
LOOK, GUYS,
I GAVE YOU A SHOT,
285
00:14:02,409 --> 00:14:04,139
BUT I CAN'T USE
ANY OF THESE SONGS.
286
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:06,277
- WHY NOT?
- BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT--
287
00:14:06,313 --> 00:14:11,083
WHAT'S THE WORD?
--GOOD.
288
00:14:11,118 --> 00:14:13,618
P.J., COME ON.
289
00:14:13,653 --> 00:14:16,093
IT'S JUST BUSINESS.
IT'S NOT PERSONAL.
290
00:14:20,427 --> 00:14:23,127
SO I GUESS
THE POLKA NUMBER'S OUT?
291
00:14:34,041 --> 00:14:36,081
DID YOU JUST TELL ME
TO GET MY BUTT IN HERE?
292
00:14:36,109 --> 00:14:38,909
UH UH...
293
00:14:38,946 --> 00:14:40,446
( wheezing )
294
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,650
YES, SHE DID.
295
00:14:42,682 --> 00:14:45,052
SHE'S GOT SOMETHING
TO SAY TO YOU...
296
00:14:45,085 --> 00:14:48,085
( wheezing )
297
00:14:49,422 --> 00:14:51,392
...WHICH IS
298
00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:53,334
SHE'S NOT YOUR
DOORMAT, OKAY?
299
00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:56,100
SHE DESERVES TO BE
TREATED WITH RESPECT.
300
00:14:56,129 --> 00:14:58,169
HOW DARE YOU
TALK TO ME THAT WAY?
301
00:14:58,198 --> 00:15:03,068
SHE'S GONNA TALK TO YOU
ANY WAY I WANT TO TALK
TO YOU FOR HER ABOUT.
302
00:15:03,103 --> 00:15:06,273
Woman over P.A.:
Price check on aisle 1,
303
00:15:06,306 --> 00:15:09,336
volcanic geyser
on aisle 2.
304
00:15:16,083 --> 00:15:17,383
THIS ENDS NOW.
305
00:15:19,119 --> 00:15:21,189
LET'S GO, CHARLIE.
WE'RE BUSTING OUT OF HERE.
306
00:15:28,996 --> 00:15:30,356
( laughing )
307
00:15:30,397 --> 00:15:33,527
YOU LITTLE--!
308
00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:41,511
COME OUT, COME OUT,
WHEREVER YOU ARE.
309
00:15:46,013 --> 00:15:49,353
JALAPENO-STYLE.
310
00:15:59,559 --> 00:16:01,289
( laughing )
311
00:16:14,074 --> 00:16:17,444
HUGO, CATCH ME
IF YOU CAN.
312
00:16:29,789 --> 00:16:33,189
GABRIEL!
313
00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:52,209
CLEAN UP ON AISLE...
EVERYWHERE.
314
00:16:59,086 --> 00:17:01,116
HEY.
315
00:17:01,154 --> 00:17:02,794
YOU OKAY?
316
00:17:02,822 --> 00:17:05,232
- DAD, CAN I ASK YOU
SOMETHING?
- SURE.
317
00:17:05,258 --> 00:17:10,058
DO YOU THINK I SHOULD GIVE UP
MY DREAM OF BEING A MUSICIAN?
318
00:17:10,097 --> 00:17:11,557
WELL, I THINK
THE ONLY PERSON
319
00:17:11,598 --> 00:17:13,498
THAT CAN ANSWER
THAT QUESTION IS YOU.
320
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:16,503
THEN THE ANSWER
IS NO.
321
00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:18,366
I'M NOT GIVING UP.
322
00:17:18,405 --> 00:17:21,165
GOOD.
THAT'S GOOD.
323
00:17:21,208 --> 00:17:23,508
YOU DON'T WANT
TO HAVE ANY REGRETS.
324
00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:25,513
- I SHOULD KNOW.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
325
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:28,475
I HAD A DREAM TOO.
326
00:17:28,515 --> 00:17:33,085
I WAS GONNA BE
A PROFESSIONAL
WRESTLER, MAN.
327
00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:36,320
I WAS GONNA CALL MYSELF
"BOBZILLA."
328
00:17:36,356 --> 00:17:38,826
BOBZILLA?
329
00:17:38,858 --> 00:17:41,528
MAYBE FIVE MORE MINUTES
ON THE NAME, DAD.
330
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:43,501
WELL, IT ALL
WORKED OUT FINE.
331
00:17:43,530 --> 00:17:47,200
I'VE GOT A NICE LIFE
AND A WONDERFUL FAMILY.
332
00:17:47,234 --> 00:17:49,604
BESIDES, YOU WOULDN'T WANT
TO SEE YOUR DAD ON T.V.,
333
00:17:49,636 --> 00:17:52,206
- BEATING UP
OTHER GUYS, WOULD YOU?
- THAT WOULD BE AWESOME.
334
00:17:52,239 --> 00:17:55,379
I KNOW.
SO AWESOME, RIGHT?
335
00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:57,378
WELL, I'M NOT GIVING UP.
IN FACT,
336
00:17:57,410 --> 00:18:00,480
I USED THE PAIN OF REJECTION
TO WRITE ANOTHER SONG.
337
00:18:00,513 --> 00:18:02,453
GOOD FOR YOU.
CAN I HEAR IT?
338
00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:10,194
* THE BUG MAN
CRUSHED MY DREAMS *
339
00:18:10,223 --> 00:18:15,263
* EVERYTHING I WANTED
TO BE *
340
00:18:15,295 --> 00:18:18,665
* BOB'S BUGS BE GONE
341
00:18:18,698 --> 00:18:22,338
* WAS THE DEATH OF ME.
342
00:18:26,539 --> 00:18:29,279
YOU KNOW WHAT?
343
00:18:29,309 --> 00:18:31,309
I THINK
YOU SPEED THAT UP,
344
00:18:31,344 --> 00:18:33,314
HAVE A BUG SING IT
AND WE'VE GOT OUR NEW JINGLE.
345
00:18:33,346 --> 00:18:35,316
- ARE YOU SERIOUS?
- I'M DEAD SERIOUS.
346
00:18:35,348 --> 00:18:36,418
YES!
347
00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:38,149
I DID IT!
348
00:18:38,185 --> 00:18:40,585
NOW ALL I HAVE TO DO
IS FIND A SINGING BUG.
349
00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:48,599
( doorbell rings )
350
00:18:51,331 --> 00:18:53,201
ALICE.
351
00:18:53,233 --> 00:18:54,703
HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?
352
00:18:54,734 --> 00:18:57,704
I WANTED TO TELL YOU
SOMETHING.
353
00:18:57,737 --> 00:19:00,707
WHAT WAS IT?
354
00:19:00,740 --> 00:19:03,610
OH, I GOT FIRED.
355
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:06,483
THAT'S TERRIBLE.
I'M SO SORRY.
356
00:19:06,513 --> 00:19:08,423
NO, IT'S WONDERFUL.
357
00:19:08,448 --> 00:19:12,418
THEN CONGRATULATIONS.
358
00:19:12,452 --> 00:19:15,622
AFTER I TURNED IN MY SMOCK,
GUESS WHAT?
359
00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:19,225
- I STOPPED WHEEZING.
- THAT'S GREAT.
360
00:19:19,259 --> 00:19:21,229
WELL, IT'S ONLY BEEN
AN HOUR
361
00:19:21,261 --> 00:19:24,301
AND THE POLLEN COUNT
IS LOW.
362
00:19:24,331 --> 00:19:28,671
WELL, LET'S KEEP
OUR FINGERS CROSSED.
363
00:19:28,701 --> 00:19:31,641
ANYWAY, I JUST WANTED
TO THANK YOU
364
00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:34,241
FOR HELPING ME STAND UP
TO HUGO.
365
00:19:34,274 --> 00:19:36,484
SEE YOU
IN FRENCH CLASS.
366
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:38,679
HEY, ALICE,
367
00:19:38,711 --> 00:19:41,351
WOULD YOU LIKE
TO COME TO A PARTY?
368
00:19:41,381 --> 00:19:43,321
REALLY?
369
00:19:43,350 --> 00:19:45,990
I'VE NEVER BEEN
INVITED TO A PARTY.
370
00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:48,358
- NEVER?
- NOPE.
371
00:19:48,388 --> 00:19:50,388
I THREW ONE ONCE
FOR ARBOR DAY.
372
00:19:50,423 --> 00:19:52,693
NOBODY CAME.
373
00:19:52,725 --> 00:19:55,425
JUST ME AND A TREE.
374
00:19:55,462 --> 00:19:59,732
WELL, NO TREES AT THIS PARTY,
JUST LOTS OF CUTE BOYS.
375
00:19:59,766 --> 00:20:02,296
OH, CUTE BOYS ARE BETTER
THAN TREES.
376
00:20:02,335 --> 00:20:04,335
BUT YOU DO REALIZE
377
00:20:04,371 --> 00:20:06,541
YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE
TO TALK TO THEM, RIGHT?
378
00:20:06,573 --> 00:20:09,283
SURE, NO PROBLEM.
379
00:20:09,309 --> 00:20:12,449
( wheezing )
380
00:20:12,479 --> 00:20:14,579
OR I'LL TALK TO THEM
FOR YOU.
381
00:20:21,521 --> 00:20:24,291
Well, Charlie,
what a day.
382
00:20:24,324 --> 00:20:26,294
You almost got us
arrested.
383
00:20:26,326 --> 00:20:28,296
I had an awesome time
at Spencer's party.
384
00:20:28,328 --> 00:20:31,628
And we totally
trashed a store.
385
00:20:31,664 --> 00:20:34,304
But amazingly, Mom and Dad
never found out,
386
00:20:34,334 --> 00:20:37,274
so I think
we got away with it.
387
00:20:37,304 --> 00:20:39,414
Teddy, honey,
can I ask you a question?
388
00:20:39,439 --> 00:20:41,009
Sure, Mom.
389
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:45,380
Why is Charlie's mug shot
all over the Reddi Mart?
390
00:20:49,349 --> 00:20:52,549
If I go down,
I'm taking you with me.
391
00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:55,285
Good luck, Charlie.
392
00:21:01,361 --> 00:21:02,731
And now
for the main event.
393
00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:06,372
IN THIS CORNER,
HE'S NASTY, HE'S DIRTY,
394
00:21:06,399 --> 00:21:08,569
HE LIVES UNDER
THE REFRIGERATOR,
395
00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:12,671
LADIES AND GERMS,
THE ROACH!
396
00:21:15,375 --> 00:21:17,035
AND IN THIS CORNER,
397
00:21:17,076 --> 00:21:19,346
HE'S THE BEST
AT CONTROLLING THE PEST,
398
00:21:19,379 --> 00:21:22,479
THE MAN WITH THE PLAN
TO PUT THE BUG IN THE CAN,
399
00:21:22,515 --> 00:21:26,385
THE CHAMPION,
BOBZILLA!
400
00:21:29,389 --> 00:21:31,619
* THE BUG MAN
CRUSHED MY DREAMS *
401
00:21:31,658 --> 00:21:33,728
* EVERYTHING
I WANTED TO BE *
402
00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:36,830
* BOB'S BUGS BE GONE
WAS THE DEATH OF ME. *
403
00:21:36,863 --> 00:21:39,403
( bell dings )
404
00:21:39,432 --> 00:21:40,472
I'M BOB
405
00:21:40,500 --> 00:21:42,370
FROM BOB'S BUGS BE GONE.
406
00:21:42,402 --> 00:21:43,872
YOU CALL ME
407
00:21:43,903 --> 00:21:45,873
FOR ALL YOUR PEST CONTROL NEEDS.
408
00:21:45,905 --> 00:21:47,865
I WILL KILL
409
00:21:47,907 --> 00:21:50,337
YOUR BUG'S DREAMS!
410
00:21:50,377 --> 00:21:53,447
Announcer:
AFFILIATED WITHONE IS NOT
411
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:55,720
ROBERT'S BUGS BE GONE
OR BOB'S BUGS BE GOOD.
412
00:21:55,748 --> 00:21:58,348
BOB IS NOT RESPONSIBLE
FOR PROPERTY DAMAGE
413
00:21:58,385 --> 00:22:00,685
DUE TO THE HIVE REMOVAL,
LARVAL DISPERSION. OR
414
00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:04,490
BOB'S BUGS BE GONE
THAN 5 1/2 FEET IN LENGTH,GER
415
00:22:04,524 --> 00:22:06,734
ARACHNIDS WITH TWO THORAXES,
BATS OF ANY KIND
416
00:22:06,759 --> 00:22:08,459
OR THE DREADED
VINEGAROON.
417
00:22:08,495 --> 00:22:10,495
BOB OFFERS FREE
TERMITE INSPECTIONS
418
00:22:10,530 --> 00:22:12,500
AND $30 OFF WITH A PURCHASE
OF AN ANNUAL CONTRACT.
419
00:22:12,532 --> 00:22:13,902
BOB IS AN EQUAL
OPPORTUNITY EMPLOYER.
420
00:22:13,933 --> 00:22:15,943
SE HABLA ESPANOL.
29272
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