All language subtitles for From Zero to I Love You (2019).eng

♪ Comes a rainstorm, put
your rubbers on your feet ♪

♪ Comes a snowstorm, you
can get a little heat ♪

♪ Comes love, nothing can be done ♪

♪ Comes a fire, then you
know just what to do ♪

♪ Blow a tire, you can buy another shoe ♪

♪ Comes love, nothing can be done ♪

♪ Don't try hiding, 'cause
there isn't any use ♪

♪ You'll start sliding ♪

- If anyone has just cause
why this man and this woman

should not be married, let him speak now

or forever hold his peace.

Now that Karla and Jack
have given their consent

and made their vows to each other,

before God and this congregation,
by the joining of hands

and receiving of rings, I declare
they are husband and wife.

Those whom God have joined
together, let no man put asunder.

You may kiss the bride.

What?

Everything was
perfect for 12 years.

Hey, zip me up, will ya?

- Sure.

- Jennifer is downstairs,
we are late, come on.

- Hey, you took

the last piece.
- Bye mommy.

No, I didn't.

- Yes, you did.

Okay, take it easy.

Monkey, come kiss me goodbye.

- Goodbye.

- Mwah, greasy, yum.

You too, come here.

Mwah, all right, you be good girls.

Jennifer, we'll be back around midnight.

What're we giving 'em?

- Watercolor, female
nude, mid-1920s, American.

- Expensive?

No.

Then yes, he probably will.

- Mm-hm, yeah, he'll like it.

- Yes, I'm a DuPont.

Mm.

- But not one of those DuPonts.

Same tree, different branch.

Unless, unless of course
that turns you on,

in which case I am definitely
one of those DuPonts.

Mm.

- I'll even show you my crest.

Have you seen Jack?

- Um, no, actually I haven't seen him.

- Wonderful, I've done like
45 laps, cannot find him.

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday dear Eric ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

- You missed the cake.

- Mm.

Mm.

- You should always have
champagne on your lips

when you kiss me.

- Hm.

- You good?

- Yeah.

- Hm, mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.
- Hey,

where were you when I was
blowing out the candles?

You know what I wished for?

Hm?

- Your wife.

- Oh!
- Oh.

- That's me.

- Come on, come dance with me.

- Oh, no, you're gonna have
to ask my husband first.

- Well--
- Can I borrow the missus?

- I mean, okay.
- Can he have me?

- Come on.

- Bring her back how you found her.

- Oh, no.
- That's how it started.

Couple days, maybe a week later,

I went to a gay bar.

One time turned into once in awhile,

and once in awhile turned
into every couple of weeks.

Then, one night, bartender
puts a beer down in front of me

that I didn't order.

- Looks like you have an admirer.

No more cars.

- So, why the waiter?

He kept looking at me,

and he would brush against
me, and I was drunk.

And I wanted him, and--

- Maybe this is who you are, Jack.

You know, maybe you're a
homosexual man, who's--

- Doctor, I don't wanna be a homosexual.

- Uh, a bisexual man.

- I don't wanna be a
bisexual either, doctor.

- Okay.

All right.

Couple of things right off the bat.

First of all, you can call me Tracey.

You don't have to call me doctor.

For what you're paying, you
can call me by my first name.

Now, tell me about Pete.

- Hello.

- And goodbye.

- You have to leave?

- Yeah, cleaners closes at
seven, I got no clean shirts.

Actually it's kind of a long walk,

did you wanna keep me company?

Bryn Mawr?

Haverford.

What?

You look like a
Kennedy, do people tell you that?

No.

Yeah, you do.

Fuck.

What now?

- You wanna grab a cup of coffee?

Don't suppose you're hungry are you?

- Hm-uh.

- Huh, well, as it just so happens,

I don't live too far from here.

Do you have time? You're not
gonna miss your train are you?

- I think I'm good.

I feel like I
haven't seen you at the

Zebra bar before.

Uh, yeah I don't
really go that much.

Just not into
the bar scene, or what?

Work.

You're a working
man, I can appreciate that.

So--

So buttons.

So, buttons?

What made you ask about my train?

I don't know,
just have that look.

I have that look?

Mm-hmm.

This is where I live.

- Nice brickwork.

- Fuck.
- Whoa, you okay?

- Yeah, thanks.

Are you married?

And you're straight, aren't you?

- I'm not really sure.

If this is a problem...

Hey.

- Yeah?

- Can I kiss you?

- Yeah.

- Thanks.

- Yeah, okay.

Get home safe.

Get home safe, what the fuck.

♪ I could play you ♪

♪ With no strings and
leave you on the streets ♪

♪ Oh I could play with you ♪

♪ Flip these sheets
and scream a symphony ♪

♪ I'll swing you around by your neck ♪

♪ With my hands, kiss your every need ♪

Daddy!

Sorry, babe.

So, you like being a husband

and a father, don't you?

- Yes.

- So why do you go back to the bar?

- They threw his ass out of the gym.

Right out in the cold, butt naked.

So, shrinkage was definitely
an issue.

- Oh, shit.

What?

- Uh, I'm not suppose to be here.

- Huh, well go, I'll take care of these.

- No, no, no, uh, pretend like you were

saying something funny.

- What, I was.

- Laugh, laugh.

- What're you doing?

- Okay now uh, just,
uh, go to the bathroom.

Just, just get up.

- I don't have to--

Go to the bathroom.

- Hi.

Hey.

- Oh, hello.

- Call you later.

That's my drink.

- Let him buy you one.

- Would you like a drink?

- I'd love one.

- What's goin' on?

- Eric, he's going
through another breakup.

He wanted to talk.

Come to bed, baby.

- Okay.

- On a scale from one to
10, how guilty do you feel

about your relationship with Pete?

- 10.

- Hey Dad, sorry I'm late.

- You were born late, I'm used to it.

What're you drinking?

- I'll have a glass of that, thanks.

So, what's his name?

- What's whose name?

- Oh please, you were
suppose to meet us here

the other night, you stood
us up, which with you

usually means you met someone.

- No, no, no, no, we're family, you know.

No big thing, right?

It's cool.

- Are you gonna see him again?

- I don't know, maybe.

We gettin' a table?

- He's married, you did
it again, he did it again.

- Hey.

I'm good, I got it.

So, is she right?

- You're going to see
him again, aren't you?

I bet you a drink.

- No bet.

- Fear of intimacy.

- I do not have a fear of intimacy.

Yes, you do.

- Dating married men, four married men,

in a town full of single, hot,
gay ass is a cry for help.

What're you afraid of?

- I know what he's afraid of.

- I'm not afraid of anything.

Commitment.

- Look, why don't you just
settle the fuck down, huh?

Buy something, you got enough money.

And for god sakes, stop
fucking around with these

down-low motherfuckers, you understand

what I'm sayin'?
- Ron, Ron.

- Yes, sir, it's not like I'm not trying.

Are we gonna, can we sit, can we eat?

- Come on, Jack.

- She's pretty special.
- I mean,

I get goosebumps, she
reminds me of Diane Arbus.

- Yeah, absolutely.

- I mean, it looks like a painting.

- Yeah, it does, but--

- Uh, excuse me, your
phone's been ringing.

- Oh, okay, I'm sorry. Can you
just excuse me for a second?

- Sure.

- Thanks, just enjoy.

Hello?

- How is the most wonderful, beautiful,

and understanding wife in the world?

- That depends, who is this?

- Your husband, who has to
go to a press run tonight.

They screwed up a bunch of pages,

it's gonna be that kinda night.

- Oh, um, you want me to
come get you at the station?

- No, uh, it's gonna be late.

- You sure?

Yeah.

- Okay, all right, love you.

- Love you too.

- Anyway, I thought that
you would love this one.

- You just lied to your wife, again.

I was in the neighborhood, and--

- No, you weren't.

- Thought I would just say hi.

- Look, you seem like a really nice guy,

but you've got stuff.

And I have history with
guys who have stuff,

wives, children, I can't really see you.

Not that I don't want to, I just,

I can't.

- Yeah, you're right.

I completely get it.

Sorry.

- No, don't apologize, really.

'Tis a far, far better thing I do today

than I have ever done before.

I'm sorry, I find obscure literary quotes

come in handy at times like this.

- I've read Dickens.

English major?

- Art history minor.

- Poli sci, English
lit, double major, Penn.

- Temple.

- Who's your favorite author?

- Jacqueline Susann.

Wow.

- "Valley of the Dolls" is an underrated

20th century classic.

- I don't think I can
call that literature,

even by mid-60s standards.

- Yeah, who is your favorite writer?

- John Cheever.

- A self-loathing, closeted
homosexual who wrote about men

who felt trapped in their
commuter train lives, really?

- Don't forget he was also
a world-class alcoholic.

- Yeah, and she mostly
wrote about fucking, a lot.

- Do you use your degree?

- Do you use yours?

- Editor, non-fiction.

- Copywriter, in-house,
for a big glossy magazine

that's probably gonna fold
because it's too esoteric

and too artsy.

But who has time to read
a magazine anyway, right?

- Whoa.

It's fairy dust, Daddy.

It'll make your dreams come true.

- It'll make you instantly fabulous.

- You two, go be fabulous upstairs, now.

Sorry.

Miles was here.

- Oh, how is he anyway?

Uh, he's allergic
to his meds now, it seems.

That doesn't sound good.

No.

So.

So buttons.

- Where did you pick that up?

So?

- We can't keep it.

I know, but.

- We're not keeping it.

- That just went right in my mouth.

- Hm, if I had a nickel for
every time you said that.

Rich man.

- Where is the cord?

You know what, I'm sorry,
you're gonna get mad at me,

but I need you to run to the
store, I gotta make brownies.

I was just informed, tomorrow's snack.

- Okay, goin' to the store.

I wanna go.

- Sure, get your shoes.

I wanna go too.

You don't even
know where we're going.

So?

- You can go too.

Where?

To the store, dumb head.

You're the dumb head.

- Don't call your sister dumb head.

Booger face, try that one.

Booger face.

Yeah.

- Just uh, give me a minute.

Okay.

♪ I want to be with you ♪

♪ You can see when I look at you ♪

♪ Contemplating what could be ♪

♪ Wondering what you think of me ♪

♪ Some time maybe in another way ♪

♪ Baby, I'm sure you feel the same ♪

- Goodnight.

- Night.

Jack, did you just put on cologne?

- Yeah, too much?

- No, no.

And you did something to
your hair, didn't you?

You goin' home?

- Yep, see you tomorrow.

- Hm.

- Hey.

- Hey.

If this thing ever starts to get weird,

either one of us can walk, no
questions, no apologies, okay?

- I know what I'm getting into.

You and this
handshaking thing, it's.

- Done deal.

You're so fuckin' weird.

"At night he's not so tough.

"He breathes like an angel
and sometimes wets the bed.

"I can tell when an angel's visited.

"In the morning there are
little pieces of clouds

"tucked to my belly.

"I suppose it all comes out in the wash,

"these crusts of bread and soapy smiles.

"Slow dancing, in a bedroom sort of way.

"Neither wants to lead,
we both refuse to follow."

- Oh, are you waitin'?

- No, you're good.

- Oh my god, I think I'm in love with you.

- Uh-uh-uh, uh-uh-uh-uh,
David, David, David.

Sorry about that, he's uh--

- I still want a cigarette though.

- You are something, sit down.

Jesus Christ.

- Ah, oh, did I tell you
Scott Pickering called me

and asked me for your phone number?

- Mm.

Who is that?

- John Armitage.

Wait for it.

29, 5-10, puh, please.

Tats all over, dick's like a rhino.

- Oh.

- Look at that.

- He is, oh-oh.

- And he is down with the
brown, if you know what I mean.

And you know you do.

Why aren't you all over that right now?

- David, if I tell you something,

you have to promise to
keep your mouth shut.

- Mm-hmm.

- Okay?

- Mm.

I'm seeing this married dude.

- No, no, no way.

- What?

- Ah, homewrecker.

- David, please.

- You're gonna get fucked,
and not in a good way.

I'm gonna get a cig.

- Eric and I are playing squash tonight,

I'll be home around 11, bye.

- Bye.

- Got a train to catch.

- Oh, what about uh...

Eric DuPont, please.

Voicemail, sure.

Listen bub, you tell that husband of mine

that unless he wants to sleep with you

for the rest of his life,

he will remember that date
night is with me tonight,

and not you.

- Hi, honey.

You look gorgeous.

- Thank you.

I guess you got my message.

- Yes.

Oops.

Oops.

To date night.

- To date night.

- Which I'll never forget again.

No, we won't.

- What?

- Are you mad at me?

- I'm fucking furious, now
I'm going back to sleep.

I just wanted you to know--

- What?

- It's not gonna be
like this forever, okay?

You got laid today.

How did you know?

- Who was she?

Like it matters.

- I don't know, Sandy?

Sarah, something, something with an S.

I was having lunch at the
Bellevue and she was alone,

I was alone, we already had
a hotel, what can I say?

- Uh listen, I've, I've
been meaning to talk to you.

- Yeah, something I
wanna talk to you about.

Why have I been covering
your ass for your wife?

- Well that's um--

- Oh, fuck.

- Take it easy.

- Not you.

Does Karla know?

- No.

Trust me, they always know.

Do I know her?

- Him.

- Come again.

- Him.

Him.

What?

- Shut up, you are not
gay, Jack, trust me.

Okay, I've known you since
I was eight years old.

- Uh--
- If anybody knew,

I-I would know.

I've, I've, I've, I've
showered with you, okay?

I've slept in the same bed as you.

You're not gay, all right?

- Okay, it's okay.

- No, it's not okay.

- It is okay.
- You're not, you're not gay.

- I'm gay.

- You're not gay.

- I'm gay.
- You're not gay.

All right?

- I'm gay, just--

- You're not, you're not gay.

You're not gay.

- Okay.

Fat Billy Ponder.

- What, who?

- Billy Ponder, he had a speech
impediment, remember him?

- The fat kid, with the, the lisp,

that talked like this?

- Yeah, stop.

We thought that made
him queer, so you, me,

and John Palladino, we
beat the crap out of him.

Remember, we were 12.

I had sex with Billy
Ponder our senior year.

In Dad's Cutlass.

- Oh, god.

- In the backseat.

- God, no you didn't.

- Mm-hmm.
- No, you didn't.

I've sat in that Cutlass.

- He was the first guy.

- The first, there's more?

- Yes.

I'm sorry that I never told you, but Eric,

I'm gay, and I'm in love.

- How, how is it that
you're all of a sudden

just in, in love with a dude?

- He makes me laugh.

- He makes you laugh?

- Mm-hmm.

- So you're gonna, you're
gonna give up your wife

for some dude who makes you laugh?

- If your father ever cheated
on me, I'd cut his dick off.

This is $225, what the fuck is this?

Do we get to meet him?

- Dad didn't tell you?

Wanna go to Chicago this weekend?

- You're not serious?

- Sure, I am, our first trip.

I have to be there on
Friday, come with me.

We can stay all weekend in bed, or not.

I think it's a lousy idea.

- This is?

- Dad, what're you doin' here?

- None of your business.

Does your wife know that
you're fucking my son?

Whoa.

- Can I get you guys anything?

- And you, what the fuck are you doing?

You know better than this.

This is your fourth time.

Did he tell you that
you're the fourth one?

- I don't need relationship advice--

- Shut the fuck up.
- From my--

- Guys, please.

- I love him.

I'm in love with him.

There, I said it.

It's not like you didn't know.

- I didn't.

- So what do you have to say?

- I don't think we have to
explain how we feel to you.

- Do you love him?

- Jack, you don't have to.

- Yes.

I love you.

- Son of a bitch, keeping
secrets from his fiance.

- What?

When, why didn't you tell me?

- Don't let on I told you.

Ron is gonna ask you to be his best man.

Unless of course you wanna
be my maid of honor instead,

it's entirely up to you.

And about the other thing, he's
not going to leave his wife.

Been there, done that,
got the souvenir mug.

- Excuse me.

Oh, hey.

- Hey.

Walking stick.

- Yeah, African.

- Hi.

- Hey you.

- I was just thinking about you.

- Good thoughts, I hope.

- Always, so what can I do you for?

- Um, hold on.

Do you mind doing that later?

- Oh, no problem.

And, can you get the door too?

- Okay.

- Sorry about that, um, I
have to cancel for tonight.

- Jack, this is suppose to be our night.

You leave on vacation in like two days.

- Uh, not leaving till
the week after next,

but I have to go to this opening tonight.

I don't know how I forgot it, but I did.

- Pete, I need to talk to you.

- Can't you just--

- Oh, I'm sorry, I
didn't see that you were

on a personal call during working hours.

- It's a story.

- Hang up.

Oh, did you just finger?

I know you did not just finger me.

- Jack.

- It's for Miles, a friend from college.

Karla's best friend.

Who's that?

- I have to go.

- He has to go.

Was that rude?

That was rude.

- I uh--

- You have man problems, I get it.

- It's not--

- It is, it is all over your face.

And your work, I mean this is,

this, this is not a story.

And I know something's wrong
because you didn't even bother

to spell check it, and you're like,

you're like Rain Man when
it comes to spelling.

Rewrite it and have it on my desk by five.

That's all.

♪ I've got some other ways to go ♪

♪ Some ways that you already know ♪

Your wife invited me.

Mm-hmm.

- She said she hadn't seen me in awhile,

wanted to know what was up.

Does your wife know what's up?

- No.

God help you.

- Are you my friend?

- Yes.

- Okay.

One thing at a time, I'll be back.

- We're all starting, come on.

- Ah, do you mind?

I need to go to the
office, I forgot something.

- You want the car?

I can get a ride with Eric.

- No, I'll just take a cab.

It's a nice place.

- Yeah, my father bought
it for his mistress,

and when Mom put an end to
that, I bought it from him.

- That's very pragmatic.

So what do you do?

What do you mean?

- For a living.

- Oh, nothing really.

Trust fund, big one.

- Ah, must be nice.

- Oh it's got its ups and its downs.

Mostly ups though.

Mostly ups, yeah.

God, you've got a great smile.

- Thank you.

- Great teeth.

Was I not suppose to do that?

Lighten up.

Why are you so ridiculously handsome?

Thanks, I think.

- You know, if I had met him
a semester before you did,

we'd all be sitting at different places

around this table right now.
- Can I get a drink, please.

- Well this is why I never
leave you two alone together.

- Go ahead and gloat.

But I remember a night, a
long long time ago at a party,

when I thought, something.

Oh.

- What're you talkin' about?

- New year's eve, 2002.

You were stinking drunk, you ran up to me,

threw your arms around
me, and you kissed me.

- Was there tongue?

I did?

- And you said, "Happy New
Year," and you called me baby.

- Jesus.

- I don't remember that.

- Well I've never forgotten.

- If I were gonna share Jack with anybody,

it would've been you.

- Well anyway, it's all too late now.

Some dreams don't come true.

- Oh, never say never.

I'm kidding, can I get a drink, please?

- I'd love one.

- So, does your boyfriend
know where you are?

Come on, I asked around,

and everybody seems to think
you're dating somebody,

but nobody knows who.

Come on, come on, I was just joking.

Wait, I'm right.

Holy shit.

Wow, Pete, you got some
real boundary issues.

- I gotta go.

- Just give me a minute.
- Okay.

- Mm, sorry.

Oh.

- Honey?
- Mm?

I think I'm tired.

What?

- It's been a tough week.

Okay?

- Well?

10 days in Palm Springs
will take care of that.

- Hm.

Yep.

With your mother.

- I'm glad we're going.

I wanna feel the sun and the heat.

I feel like we had no summer at all.

And I just, I just wanna be warm.

The kids'll love the pool, so.

- We do have a pool right out back.

- Which we use three months
out of the year, Jack.

This is special, let's just
make this special for them okay?

- Okay.

- Jack.

Mm-hmm.

- Is there anything you wanna talk about?

- Mm, no.

- I have a studio tour on Sunday,

you mind watching the girls?

- Sure, but uh, Eric and
I are doing something

later in the evening.

- What?

- I don't know, it's Eric's
call, he just wants to hang out.

- What're you guys gonna do?

Build models in his basement?

Why do you guys spend so
much time together, Jack?

- If it's a problem, I'll cancel.

- No, no, go, go.

I don't wanna take any time
away from you and your buddy.

Jack?

- Yes.

- If something were to happen
to me, would you remarry?

- I um, where's this,

I hadn't thought about it,
this is a morbid conversation.

- No, it's not, just
answer the question, Jack,

it's very simple.

- No, probably not.

- Yes?

- Hi, I'm sorry.

Slow it down.

- You're not coming, are you?

- No, I've got the girls today.

They needed some things,
swimsuits and stuff.

Pete,

I really wanted to.

Grandma.

- Oh, hello there, you
both, just look at you.

Hi, honey.

- Hi.

Oh, oh, you've
put on a little weight.

- Good to see you too, Mom.

- And Jack, dear.
- Hello, Barbara.

- Hello.

Take your shoes off.

You know I don't allow shoes in the house.

- Can we go in the pool now?

- If you pick up your things
and take them down to your room

then yes, you may get in the pool.

Dah!

- Clay, for god sakes, leave them alone.

- Mm, Jack.

Sis.

What're you doin' here?

- Good to see you too.

- Where's Brit and the boys?

- Back at home.

Get off of there.

- I got uh, kicked out.

- Oh, who'd you screw, Clay?

- Uh, hairdresser.

- Hers?

Oh that's shitty, that is shitty,

on a number of levels, that is shitty.

This serious?

No.

- What is that?

Clay brought
a friend home with him.

You're gonna love this guy.

Yo, Rich, Rich come in here for a second,

I want you to meet my
sister and her husband.

- Hi, how's it, sorry about the wet hand.

- Big sister, Karla, brother-in-law, Jack.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- So Rich took me in for a couple days

when things went tits up with Brit.

Then he drove me out here from LA,

and then I convinced his ass

to stay for a couple of days, so.

- And it's been a wonderful two weeks.

- Your mom though, she's
been fattening me up

with her good home cooking.

That's it.

- Uh, Mom, why didn't you tell
us that the house was full

because we could've just gotten a--

- I would not have you come all this way

and have you stay in a hotel.

- No, no, no, Karla no, it's no big deal.

Rich and I are staying
together in the king size,

so you guys got plenty
of space back there.

- Oh well, I've gotta get to cooking.

Clay, help them with their bags.

- Ah.

- Oh here, let me help you out with that.

No, no, no, I, least I could do.

It's back here, this way.

- Thanks, I-I know.

Two years, you
invite him to the house.

For crying out loud

I came to see you.
- Yeah, I know.

And spend some time and play.

Well, I wanted
to have all of ya here.

You know what,
just put the drink down.

- No, I will not--
- Put the drink down.

Put the drink down.

This is the only way

I get through my life now.

How 'bout the

Oh, please.

Who you texting there, Jackie?

That's exactly right,

simple.
- Work.

- If you say so.
- I've tried really hard

not to bring that up.

You didn't bring
it up, I brought it up, Mom.

I don't wanna talk about it.

Stereo.

- It's not a stereo, they're wrong.

- No, no, no, no, no honey,
not until after grace.

It's stereo.

- Don't get mad at me.

Jack.

- Dear God, thank you for this food.

May it nourish our bodies.

- And thank you, God, for
bringing us all together again

at last, amen.

Amen.

- Well done, Mom.
- Mm-hmm.

So Jack, how's work?

- It's good, busy.

- No, no, no, you don't need that.

- Mom.

- Rebecca, eat whatever you want.

- So, Rich, what do you do?

I'm a stuntman, mostly.

Really?

- Yeah.

Would you like some broccoli?

- Yeah.

- Have you ever been on fire?

- Uh, I have actually,
I've, I've been on fire

a couple times.

I've crashed cars, I've
jumped off buildings.

- I want to.

- I don't think so.

- Would you like some meat?

- Yes.

- Have at it.

It sounds really interesting.

It is when you're
actually working but um,

when I'm not working on a show or movie,

I'm actually cuttin' hair.

- Yes, he does, and let me
tell you, he is amazing.

He's got magic hands, seriously,
if anybody needs anything.

- What if I wanted to be with you?

Exclusively.

Wait, nevermind.

This is crazy.

I should know better.

I had a lovely evening,
I hope you did as well.

But, come on, goodnight,
goodbye, lose my number.

Bah.

You hungry?

- Not really.

- You can't sleep, huh?

- No.

- Want a divorce?

Hey.

- Why would you even ask that?

- Takes one to know one.

- What do you mean?

Look, Karla is
awesome, she's awesome.

You got that big house,
two kids in private school,

that's a lotta pressure, buddy.

- It is.

- Yeah, and it's gettin' to you, bad.

- Well, it's--

- Hey, hey, I don't judge,
I don't judge, I get it.

I'm just sayin', I can see it.

And if I can see it, she's gonna see it.

And texting is not cool, man, come on.

What if she goes through your phone, huh?

Is that thing on the cloud?

Hm?

- You got an iPad?

Yeah?

You sendin' cock shots?

Course you're sending cock shots.

Listen, anything that
you text will show up

halfway across town in
front of your wife's face.

That's how I ended up with
my shit in a shopping bag

in front of a Starbucks in Burbank.

'Cause I was iStupid.

Don't be iStupid.

Look, what I'm trying
to impart to you here

is make a decision.

Be a man.

Karla, my sister, who I
love dearly, deserves it.

You hear me?

So do you.

And don't you think it's
better for your girls

to see you happy and living your life?

Come on.

- Huzzah.

- Oh this is perfect, ain't it?

- Oh, oh yeah.

- Come on, let's go,
you gotta get in here.

- Here I come.

Big buildup.

- Oh, it is nice.

It's not that bad.

- There he is.
- That-a-boy.

- He made it.

- All right, all right, so Jack.

- Yeah.

- Oh.

- When did you figure out you were gay?

- 'Bout a year ago.

- All right.

- When did you two start?

What?

- Seeing each other.

- I'm, I'm not gay.

- He's not gay.

- Oh.

- Yo dude, is that what you thought?

Where the fuck did you get
that from? I'm not gay either.

I love it, where'd you get that from?

- He's not even my type.

I love that, man.

- Come here, I wanna see it.
- No, don't, don't.

I wanna see it now.

BJ time, BJ time.

Let me just touch it, nevermind, just,

I wanna see it.
- I'm so ticklish.

I am so ticklish, don't.
- I just wanna see, I know.

I'm gonna fucking piss myself.

No, no.

Greetings from Palm Springs.

- Oh, a little prick, just what I wanted.

- Hey, HR hears everything.

Hi Pete.

- Hey.

- Uh, hold on, hold on.

Kim, come in here, please.

- Yeah.

Can you get off early?

- Me?

- Huh-uh.

Uh, well?

- How early?

Around 4:30ish?

- You want me to send flowers to this guy?

- Yeah, me, yes.

Come on, I haven't seen you in two weeks.

- Fine.

- That-a-boy, uh, don't be late.

Yellow roses, by the way.

- Jack.

I know.

I know who Pete Logsdon is, I saw you two.

Together, out,

at a bar, a gay bar.

Does Karla know?

- No.

- Are you sure?

'Cause women always know.

- Why does everyone keep telling me that?

Do you think that I'm a slime
ball for having an affair

with a man?

- Not entirely, no.

- Would it be worse if it were a woman?

- Apples and oranges, Jack.

I need your credit card, please.

- Yeah.

Look, natural light.

- Jack.

- Ah-ah-ah, ah.

Champagne.

Happy anniversary.

Pete, I'm not a bad person.

- I know that.

- I don't think that
you do, how could you?

All that you get of me is this
guy who cheats on his wife.

Who lies to his friends and his kids.

That's not me.

I want you to get a chance
to know me, the real me.

Pete, I love you, I do.

And I'm leaving Karla.

- A letter, you, you can't write a letter.

- That's just, that's
just what I wanna say.

I'm going to talk to her, face to face.

I just needed to organize my thoughts.

This is my fault, this is--

- No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- All my fault.

- Don't be silly, don't
be silly, it's not.

It's gonna be okay.

- Jack, I met someone.

- What?

- I met someone and I'm seeing him.

It's not serious, yet,
but it's going to be.

Or, it can be.

I want it to be.

♪ Every time we say goodbye ♪

♪ I die a little ♪

♪ Every time we say goodbye ♪

♪ I wonder why, a little ♪

♪ Why the gods above me ♪

♪ Who must be in the know ♪

♪ Think so little of me ♪

♪ They allow you to go ♪

- The decision was as much yours as his.

You could've stayed, Jack,
you could've fought him,

if that's what you really wanted.

- Are you saying I'm a coward?

- No, no, I'm not here to judge you, Jack.

You had a chance, and you didn't take it.

I mean, if you really
wanted out of your marriage,

if you wanted out of that
life, such as it was,

that was a jumping point,
but you didn't jump.

- I had a chance, I didn't take it.

♪ Goodbye ♪

- I decided at a very early stage

that we were going to do
Christmas at least once

on the East coast,
bitter cold, bitter cold.

But of course, that only
means that we had to have

a Christmas tree, right?

You know, you can't have
a real family Christmas

without a Christmas tree, of course.

So imagine it, my mom, fur
coat, drunk to the tilt,

we now know why.

Dad's there bitching the entire time,

but we get the real tree
and we get it inside

and we're happy, and we do
what we can with decorating.

It was our one and only,
not a lot of experience

in that market.

And it's Christmas eve and we realize

it doesn't have a star.

So I tell my dad, "We need a
star on the Christmas tree."

He says, "Star, you're lucky
we got the fucker in here."

So, you can imagine how
that Christmas went.

First, last, and only East
coast Christmas for us.

Come on, we're going.

- Why don't we have any black friends?

Why don't I have any black friends?

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Come here.

Why do you put up with me?

- Because you're mine.

Doesn't mean I don't wanna
throw you down those stairs

every now and then.

- Excuse me, Mrs. Armitage,
can we smoke in here?

- That's not funny, and no you cannot.

- Someone's in a mood.

- What do people say about me and John?

- All right, they hate you.

Come on, Pete, what's not to hate?

You're perfect, you both are.

I mean, look at that ass, perfect.

You have the perfect apartment
in the perfect neighborhood.

You're interracial.

- Sh.

- Perfect, and politically correct.

And the real tragedy is,
even with all of this,

you're still not happy, are you?

- What makes you think I'm not happy?

- If you were, you wouldn't give a shit

about what any of us think.

You asked.

♪ That you exist ♪

♪ For what it's worth ♪

♪ Is proof of the divine on Earth ♪

♪ You're the only heaven I need ♪

♪ The future laughs ♪

♪ The lure somehow ♪

♪ Of loving in the here and now ♪

♪ You're the only heaven I need ♪

♪ Love's a light that glows in one ♪

♪ And you've resurrected mine ♪

♪ Baby you're my chosen one ♪

♪ And I confess, I've wanted the ♪

- Christopher.

Why are you here?

- I do Pamela's hair, remember?

- Looks great.

- Thank you.

So,

where's your husband?

- If you mean John, he was
called away by his mommy

for some family business this morning,

but we're not, we're not married.

- And why's that?

- I don't see why we need to be.

He did ask me.

- Did he?

- Yeah, last night, at
the rehearsal dinner

in front of my whole family.

- On his knees, I bet.

Congratulations.

- Fuck you.

I don't see why we need to get married.

Why do we have to do
everything the way they do it?

- No, we don't, we uh,

we make our own rules, Pete.

- You're touching my dick.

- I am, and I'm just making a point.

- The requirements.
- Hello

How are you?

Mm, mwha.

- Hello.

- Hi.
- Hi.

How are you?

- I'm good, how are you?

- I'm wonderful, thank
you, you look wonderful.

- Get the fuck outta here.

- No.

- Then I'll go.

- You're gonna stay, Pete.

Come on.
- Stop, what the fuck?

- No, come on, Pete.

- Cut it out.
- Come on.

Come on, Pete, what?
- Christopher.

- What?

- Stop.

- I don't wanna stop.

Pete, please.

What, come on, Pete.

- Oh!

- Was that the first time?

Why do you get caught up in
all this fly-by-night shit?

It's not love, it's chaos.

Why can't you just be happy?

- If Bruce comes tonight,
which he probably will,

please don't get into it with him,

especially if he brings the new guy.

Oh, what's his face?

I know I know his name.

Nevermind.

But, supposedly he's been with this guy

a little bit before him
and Patrick were over.

Michael Smith said we all met
him that weekend in Rehoboth.

Do you remember that?

I didn't.

I asked you a question.

- Why are we discussing this?

- Why not, it's just news.

- No, it's not.

- Are you gonna get ready tonight?

- I don't think I wanna go.

- Fine, you cancel, he's your friend.

- I thought he was our friend.

- Whatever, I'll do it.

- No, wait.

I'll get dressed.

- Well hello, fancy seeing you here.

- Hi.

- I'm David.

- Jack.

- Yeah, I, I remember.

How, how have you been?

- Fine, uh, would you excuse me?

- What just?

Oh, fucking finally.

This one wanted to stay home.

- Oh, my gosh.

Oh my god, you reek, you've
got pot, I need some.

Where is it?

All these rich people
make me nervous, sorry,

but I'm about to jump outta my skin.

Do you have any?

- John does.

- Please sir, can we, now?

Okay, fine.

- Thank you.

- Babe, do you wanna?

- Oh no, I'm gonna stay
and look at the art.

Congratulations on your new show.

- Thank you.
- Your first show.

♪ From being close together ♪

♪ From the start ♪

♪ We tried to talk it over ♪

♪ But the words ♪

- It's beautiful, isn't it?

- It's like looking into her soul.

- That's what my husband said,
this is his favorite piece.

Do you know David?

- Your husband?

- No, I'm sorry, the artist.

- Oh yes, David of course,
yes, yes, we're friends.

David yes, yes, yes.

- Well I run the gallery, Karla.

- Oh, I'm just getting
over a flu, and you are--

Oh, yes, I am.

- Pete Logsdon, nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you.

- How much is this one?

- 4.500, but if you're a friend of David's

I'm sure we can come down.

- Hey.

- John, this is Karla, Karla, John.

It's her gallery.

- Hi, nice to meet you.
- Hi, nice to meet you.

- So what do you think?

- About?

How much do you like it?

- $4.500 worth.

For one of David's pieces?

- It's beautiful, look at that detail.

It's fresh and lovely.
- John,

this is my husband.

- Ah, Jack Dickinson.

- John Armitage.

And this is his partner.

Fiance.

- Oh, fiance, Pete.

Pete is thinking about taking
your favorite piece home.

- Really?

- So.

- So buttons.

- Karla.
- Yes?

Can I see you just a second?

- Oh yeah, excuse me just a second,

I'll be right back, enjoy.

- Mm, mm-hmm.

- Would you get me a
glass of wine, please?

Oh, thank you.

- And, don't say yes to
anything while I'm gone.

- How are you?

- Incredibly uncomfortable, you?

- Same.

- You look--

- Yeah, so do you.

- He's quite handsome.

- I'm sorry.

- It's okay.

- I'm sorry about a
lotta things, you know,

the way I handled it, you, us.

I've been meaning to call, I just--

- I wish you had.

I miss you.

Do you think we could uh--

- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I'm with John, we live
together, I'm engaged.

It's a bad idea.

- I was just gonna say have lunch.

- That's how it starts, right?

Bye, Jack.

- Gross, when?

- John, can we head out?

- Uh, this morning.

- What?

- They found Chris Randolph this morning.

- He yeah, overdosed.

- What?

- Tina will take you down,
child, it is messy, messy.

- Well you seem to know
an awfully lot about him.

Did you two?

- Uck, not me.

- What?

- David.

- Peter.
- What?

- When?
- Never.

- Oh my god.

What?

- Guess who's here.

- Who?
- I know.

- Who?

- Nevermind, bye.

David is just, wow.

- I wasn't--

- I guess we're leaving.

- Bye.

- Hey mama, am I rich yet?

- Well, I think I just
sold another one for you.

- Oh, all right.
- Mm-hmm.

- Mwha, that's awesome.

To who?

- Whom.

- Yes, whom.
- Whom.

Pete Logsdon.

- Oh, no.

- Yeah.

- No, Karla, he left.

- Oh, shit.

- That's all right, I'll call him.

I have to anyway, he
wasn't having a good night.

- Oh.
- Plus he looks like shit.

He left because he ran into some ex-trick.

Well not really trick,
boyfriend with a lotta baggage.

They were together for what,

like a year and some change,

which is like 10 years to the gays.

And I'm sure they ran into each other,

I'm sure about Pete, and I'm
sure he was trying to avoid

any sort of conflict with
the ex and the current,

who is smokin' hot, by the way,

with control issues.

- Uh-huh.

- I think the uh, ex is probably
worse though, he's married,

to a woman, with a vagina.

I know, people have told
me about that crazy stuff.

I don't even know what that is.

- What is wrong with you?
- But they're,

they're frightening.

Oh, there's married guy now.

- Where?

- Oh, okay, you want drama?

- Yes, I do.
- Okay.

- I may need a little drama.
- Stay, stay there then.

- Okay, okay, okay, we'll don't--

- I won't be surprised.
- Oh.

- What is it, honey?

What the hell?

What, stop.

Stop.

- Fuck.

I'm sorry, I just, I, I, I had to.

I need to ask you something
and it's very, very important

that you tell me the truth.

- Okay.

No more hitting.

I heard, this
is, this is almost funny.

I, I heard you're having an affair.

Or had one, with a man.

- Karla.

- I shouldn't, I shouldn't a hit ya.

- No, Karla.

- No, no, I don't wanna hear this.

Just shut up, just shut up.

Oh my god, I need to think.

I gotta think, I need, oh, I,

I need, I need to think, I can't think.

I need to think.

Were you safe, did you use condoms?

- For god sakes.

- Answer me!

- Yes, always.

- Thank you.

- It was just Pete.

It was only a year, I promise you.

- Did you love him, Pete?

Yes.

- Oh.

Well.

All these months, I
mean, I knew something.

I just, I, I, I really
thought it was a woman.

You knew?

- I'm not stupid, Jack.

- Why didn't you say anything?

You came home, every night!

I should've known,
I, I, I should've known

it was gonna.

Miles told me about you two in school.

Little more than a kiss, wasn't it, Jack?

- When?

- I don't know, sophomore year, I think.

- So you knew before we were married.

- Way before.

What?

I thought you knew I knew.

- Do you know how long
I've struggled with this?

Do you have any idea,
any idea what it's like

to struggle with this?

Why did you not ever think to help me?

- Help you?

I married you!

I have your fucking children!

- What?

- No, it, it kicked, that's all.

Oh fuck, it has, it has my temper.

- The baby, we're having a baby.

And then.

- We'll raise him, we'll
love him, and we go on.

What do you think?

- I love you.

I gotta go.

- Jack.

Jack!

- Can you sign those, so
we can get outta here.

Here's to your first time.

Trust me, it never gets
easier, just more expensive.

- Well I'm not getting married again.

- Oh, you never know.

It's legal now.

Don't look at me
like that, I'm on your side.

Marriage equality, fuck yeah.

- Hot towels, too, classy dude, Pete.

Where you want this?

- On the floor, I'm gonna do laundry.

Gotta
clean up the evidence?

- No, just doing laundry.

- Uh-huh, this a big-ass loft.

About twice the size of your old place.

- At least.

- You like living up here?

- Yes.

It's so white though.

- What does that mean?

- You know, across from
Liberty Hall and shit.

- There's an African-American
exhibit right down the street

on the corner--
- You sound white

when you say African American.

Why'd you call me, Pete?

It's been three years,
thought you were married.

- Not yet, June.

- I wanted to date you back then.

- I--
- Couldn't date a black dude?

- That's not true at all.

- I didn't say "fuck," I said "date."

Get to know, settle down with.

Nevermind.

You wanna do this again?

- Yes.

- I would, probably, maybe.

- Don't forget your sweater.

What you covering for?

- I wouldn't bother, they're
just gonna go in the trash.

Do you want a glass of wine,

or are you against day drinking?

You should at least have some
water, you must be thirsty.

- How long--

- That was an arch conversation,

after the hot, odd sex.

- I'm, I'm sorry.

- Do you need one of your little pills,

or you all prepped up?

Found 'em in your gym bag three weeks ago.

Do you have anything to say?

- Would you believe me?

- That's a good question.

No.

Ah, I feel like my mother, that sucks.

Say something, goddammit.

- I fucked up.

- Oh, big time, mister.

Why?

- I--

- Why, why would you cheat on me?

Am I not enough?

Is my cock too small, is it too big?

Am I not here enough?

Am I too close?

I'm too wild.

Too much vanilla.

- I'm sorry, I, I really--

- You don't get to be sorry, asshole.

We're getting married in
six weeks, 200 people.

In the fucking ballroom at the Bellevue.

Do you have any idea how many times

I could've fucked around
on you and I did not?

It's been going on for awhile, yes?

Did you fuck any of my
friends, our friends?

- No.

- Who knows about this, does David know?

- Maybe.

David knows I'm not happy though.

- Then why the fuck stay?

- Because I know I should be.

It's insane that I'm not, I know that.

You are everything to me, John, and I, I--

- Apparently not.

I thought we were
perfect, well not perfect,

no one's perfect, but,
ooh we were good together.

We looked good together.

Oh, shit.

I am my mother.

- No, you're not your mother, she's--

Cold and bitter, I know.

But that's how I feel.

- How can I make it up to you?

What do you need from me right now?

- Well, you can start by
showering what's his name

off of you.

Then get dressed.

And pack.

And get the fuck outta my house.

I'm going to get more
pinot, this one sucks.

When I get back you better be fucking gone

or your shit's going in the alley.

- Oh.

Hey.

Karla's here.

- Picking the girls up.

- Oh.
- I appreciate that.

- Is, is Michael sleeping?

- He is sleeping.

He was, he was up, I
got him to sleep about

six hours the other night.

- Good job.
- Yes.

I'm really gonna have to
use the Preparation H.

Thank you.

Oh, listen, um, Miles had a
really, really bad episode.

He's in the hospital.

- What's this?

- Go ahead.

- Fairy dust.
- Fairy dust.

When they brought him
into the emergency room

he had some in his fist.

He started throwing it around,

albeit weakly, yeah.
- Oh!

- There was much more, but you know,

if he was goin' out, it
was gonna be festive.

One had to pin his arm down
to get the catheter in.

He was fighting and,
pulls his oxygen mask off.

Then he yells at me, "Lighten up, bitch!"

He's better.

Still in the hospital but um,

he asked me to give that to you.

You should go see him.

- I will.

- He'd like that.

- Thank you.
- You got it?

Are you ever gonna let me paint you nude?

- No.

Definitely not anywhere as
cold as this, fuck David.

- This building is 175 years old.

The cold is part of its charm.

No, it's not.

- So, New York, huh?

- Yep.

- It's gonna be a lot more expensive.

- I know, I don't care.

Well, that's a lie.

I'm terrified, but,

I found a six month sublet and
it's actually got a terrace.

- Don't go.

Please.

- I can't stay here, David.

I burned this place to the ground.

It's not that bad.

Yes, it is.

- I'm gonna miss you.

- It's 45 minutes by Amtrak.

- I hate trains.

So, it's good, right?

It's beautiful.

- Mm.

You ever think about calling Jack?

- Why would I do that, god no.

- Well, why not?

I mean, his wife knows now.

I still can't
believe you did that.

- I wanted to die.

- Yeah, join the club.

- Oh my god, I'm so sorry.

Oh.

You should call him.

I mean, they probably
broke up already, right?

I mean, how could she stay with him?

- Please stop, you're just
compounding the guilt.

Which is why I'm moving to New York.

- Running away.

- As far as I can.

At least I'll have a decent magazine job.

- There you go, judge.

- Thank you.

Where the hell is she?

- Just calm down, she'll be here.

No, that's okay, it's fine.

You go ahead.

Ah, Mr. DuPont.

- My apologies to the court, Your Honor.

Uh, my client, Mrs. Washington
and I, had to confer.

We were as quick as we could be.

- Your Honor, if Mr. DuPont
is finished conferring,

can we proceed?

- Wait for me--

- What're you gonna do,
what're you gonna do, huh?

Oh that, that punk that's a lawyer?

- Well, that went well.

- At minimum, you put your foot in that.

- Wasn't my foot.

Want some lunch?

You buying?

- That judge hates me.

The feeling is mutual, he
presided over two of my divorces.

Asshole.

You married?

- Yeah, second time, recently.

- You get burned too?

- My first wife died.

- I'm sorry.

Kids?

- Yeah, a son, Pete.

Thank you.

- I like kids, I wish I had 'em.

- Well, they don't always turn
out the way you expect 'em,

but you have to deal with what you get.

- Sounds like you're
disappointed in your son.

- I didn't say that.

I love my son, a lot, I
just don't always like

the things that he does.

- Drugs, jail?

- Fucked up relationships.

He's in New York right
now, starting over again.

- Baby mama drama.

He's gay, no baby mama.

- My best friend just turned gay.

- I think he was born like that.

- Married the hottest girl in our class.

Had two beautiful kids.

One day it's like, he just fell on a dick,

and liked it.

Well I'll be goddamn.

- What's that, you know Jack?

- Yeah, my son introduced us.

They were together.

- No way.

- Yeah, I feel really
embarrassed about the way that we

acted in public, I really
went after him about it.

- You know that he was
gonna leave his wife

for your son, right?

- What?

- I got an idea.

I got a terrible idea.

Hey Jackie.

- Hey Eric, kinda got my hands
full right now, what's up?

You didn't
tell me Pete was black.

- Just tell me, is this nuts?

- Well, nuts isn't exactly
the word I'd use but um--

Tracey, please.

- I mean, it is kinda nuts.

But you're gonna do it anyway, right?

Yeah, I am.

- Well good luck, Jack.

- This is so nuts.

- And uh, yeah, it's more
expensive to live out here.

What're you grinning at?

He's kinda cute, huh?

You never give up, do you?

I don't understand

these people.
- I hate cats on the counter.

Jesus Christ, I mean how do
people eat and, you know,

mess with cat hair

and fur balls, and.
- I don't know.

You want somethin' to drink?

Uh, water's good.

I bought beer.

- Oh, okay, that's cool.

Hey, girl.

Not a day goes by that
I don't think about her.

- Me too.

- You know, after your mother died

and I started seeing Pamela,

I took her to see your grandfather.

- Ooh, how did that go?

- Oh, he had a fit.

I don't see why you gotta be takin' up

with that white woman.

- That sounds like granddad.

- Wasn't prejudice.

It was fear.

When he was young he had
to step off the sidewalk

whenever a white woman walked by.

Till the day he died,
he, he carried the fear

that I was gonna get hit in the head

because I was an uppity nigger.

He never understood the
choices that I made.

Be a lawyer, leave Louisiana.

How could I allow myself to
fall in love with Pamela?

Most parents are terrified at the choices

their children make.

Deep down inside, all we want is just to,

is for you to be happy.

I'm sorry if I ever
got in the way of that.

- You aren't so bad.

To being happy.

- To being happy.

Oh, shit.

- What, what's wrong?

Forgot to stop
by the dry cleaners.

I don't have a clean shirt for Monday.

- Oh, hey well,

damn.
- No it's cool, I can make it.

I'll be right back.

15 minutes, 20 tops.

Be thinking about--
- Yeah, but.

Where you're
taking me for dinner.

- Oh, man, shit.

♪ Walked thousands of miles ♪

♪ Exhausted from hurt ♪

♪ Senseless love trials ♪

- Hi.

- Hi, this is--

- I love you, I still love you, very much.

- You don't just bump
into someone on the street

and tell them you love
them, that's, that's crazy.

- I didn't just bump into you.

I came here specifically to tell you that.

Your father and my best
friend, they're both lawyers,

whatever, nevermind, doesn't even matter.

I want, I want another chance.

No, I want the uh, the uh
chance that you didn't give me.

No, no, that I didn't give myself.

To love you and be with you, as me.

- Yeah, your wife's
probably looking for you.

- I'm divorced, long story.

Look, I'm here.

No attachments, no nothing, just, me.

Natural light.

- Why do you always go
from zero to I love you?

- Slow is for sissies.

You still love me?

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Feels just like a dream ♪

♪ There's more of you and me ♪

- Take that as a yes.

♪ No longer our fantasy ♪

- This is seriously
freaking me out right now.

♪ Now my reality ♪

♪ Feels just like a dream ♪

Oh, shit.

- What?

- My dad's at my place.

- He's not at my hotel.

- We're suppose to go to dinner,
he's paying for a change.

- We are going to be late.

Get in there.

♪ You're my reality ♪

♪ Feels just like a dream ♪

♪ There's more of you and me ♪

♪ Without you, there's no me ♪

- Mommy.

♪ No longer our fantasy ♪

♪ Now my reality ♪

♪ Feels just like a dream ♪

♪ There's more of you and me ♪

♪ Without you, there's no me ♪

♪ No longer our fantasy ♪

♪ Now my reality ♪

♪ Be wise, be smart ♪

♪ He's too close for comfort ♪

♪ Behave, my heart ♪

♪ He's too close for comfort ♪

♪ Be wise, be smart ♪

♪ Behave, my heart ♪

♪ Don't upset your cart ♪

♪ When he's so close ♪

♪ Be soft, be sweet ♪

♪ But be discreet ♪

♪ Don't go off your beat ♪

♪ He's too close for comfort ♪

♪ Too close, too close for comfort ♪

♪ Please, not again ♪

♪ Too close, too close to know ♪

♪ Just when to say when ♪

♪ Be firm, be fair ♪

♪ Be sure, beware ♪

♪ On your guard, take care ♪

♪ While there's such temptation ♪

♪ One thing leads to another ♪

♪ Too late to run for cover ♪

♪ He's much too close for comfort now ♪

♪ Be wise, be smart ♪

♪ Behave, my heart ♪

♪ Don't upset that cart
when he's so close ♪

♪ Be soft, be sweet ♪

♪ But you gotta be discreet ♪

♪ Don't go off your beat ♪

♪ He's too close for comfort ♪

♪ Well, too close, too close for comfort ♪

♪ Please, not again ♪

♪ Too close, too close to know just when ♪

♪ To say when ♪

♪ Be firm, be fair ♪

♪ Be sure, beware ♪

♪ On your guard, take care ♪

♪ While there's such temptation ♪

♪ Well, one thing leads to another ♪

♪ Too late to run for cover ♪

♪ He's much to close for comfort now ♪

♪ One thing leads to another ♪

♪ Too late to run for cover ♪

♪ He's much too close for comfort ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ He's much too close for comfort now ♪

♪ Too close ♪

♪ He's too close for comfort now ♪