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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:26,533 --> 00:00:28,863 ♪ City bird ♪ 2 00:00:28,865 --> 00:00:31,633 ♪ City bird ♪ 3 00:00:32,367 --> 00:00:36,398 ♪ Fly away from my window ♪ 4 00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:39,497 ♪ From my window ♪ 5 00:00:39,499 --> 00:00:42,733 ♪ 'Cause you don't sing ♪ 6 00:00:43,599 --> 00:00:47,000 ♪ Like the birds from home sing ♪ 7 00:00:47,700 --> 00:00:51,467 ♪ Your song is dying ♪ 8 00:00:53,567 --> 00:00:57,597 ♪ After the tower's turned ♪ 9 00:00:57,599 --> 00:01:01,931 ♪ To a tomb ♪ 10 00:01:01,933 --> 00:01:06,497 ♪ The underworld refugees all ♪ 11 00:01:06,499 --> 00:01:10,632 ♪ Were refused by the banker ♪ 12 00:01:10,634 --> 00:01:12,834 ♪ They could never go in ♪ 13 00:01:14,399 --> 00:01:16,868 ♪ So I let them in ♪ 14 00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:21,198 ♪ I light the candle ♪ 15 00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:23,497 ♪ For the ghosts in my home ♪ 16 00:01:23,499 --> 00:01:25,633 ♪ My home ♪ 17 00:01:26,633 --> 00:01:28,764 ♪ And say a prayer to please send care ♪ 18 00:01:28,766 --> 00:01:31,868 ♪ For the guests in my home ♪ 19 00:01:34,699 --> 00:01:37,564 ♪ But in their sleep they claw and scream ♪ 20 00:01:37,566 --> 00:01:38,697 ♪ The devil home ♪ 21 00:01:38,699 --> 00:01:41,732 ♪ The devil's come home ♪ 22 00:01:41,734 --> 00:01:44,298 ♪ But that nightmare does not compare ♪ 23 00:01:44,300 --> 00:01:47,634 ♪ To the demons in sleeping alone ♪ 24 00:01:50,900 --> 00:01:54,930 ♪ After the tower is turned ♪ 25 00:01:54,932 --> 00:01:59,398 ♪ To a tomb ♪ 26 00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:03,763 ♪ The underworld refugees all ♪ 27 00:02:03,765 --> 00:02:08,330 ♪ Were refused by the banker ♪ 28 00:02:08,332 --> 00:02:11,330 ♪ And with nowhere to go ♪ 29 00:02:11,332 --> 00:02:14,931 ♪ They wash up on Skid Row ♪ 30 00:02:14,933 --> 00:02:22,230 ♪ Oh city bird ♪ 31 00:07:44,466 --> 00:07:46,699 "The first meal..." 32 00:08:02,532 --> 00:08:04,930 No, no, no, Mr. Atkinson. 33 00:08:04,932 --> 00:08:07,664 I completely understand. I know it's late. 34 00:08:07,666 --> 00:08:09,463 The reason why I'm actually calling is beca... 35 00:08:09,465 --> 00:08:12,165 I'm literally just walking from the office now. 36 00:08:12,167 --> 00:08:15,766 Yeah, we got some news in today that I thought I'd run by you. 37 00:08:16,866 --> 00:08:18,564 Yeah, um... 38 00:08:18,566 --> 00:08:20,198 we got another offer 39 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,000 on the house that you really like. 40 00:08:23,166 --> 00:08:25,566 Yeah, I know, these things happen all the time, sir. 41 00:08:26,599 --> 00:08:28,463 How are you? All right. Yeah. 42 00:08:28,465 --> 00:08:30,164 Can I get the usual please? 43 00:08:30,166 --> 00:08:33,231 Um, an Italian thin crust pizza. 44 00:08:33,233 --> 00:08:35,297 Pepperoni, obviously. 45 00:08:35,299 --> 00:08:39,766 Um, can you do me that... that sour cream dip that you guys do? 46 00:08:41,331 --> 00:08:45,466 Yeah, um, one strawberry cheesecake. 47 00:08:47,366 --> 00:08:48,931 Yeah, and, um... 48 00:08:48,933 --> 00:08:52,600 could you throw in like a cheeky bottle of coke? 49 00:08:53,598 --> 00:08:55,566 Yeah. You letch. 50 00:08:56,498 --> 00:08:58,397 You know my address, yeah? 51 00:08:58,399 --> 00:09:01,067 Okay. All right, then, how long would that be roughly? 52 00:09:01,900 --> 00:09:04,897 All right. Yeah, no worries. 53 00:09:04,899 --> 00:09:06,500 All right, take care. 54 00:09:28,633 --> 00:09:29,899 Hey. 55 00:09:30,598 --> 00:09:31,867 You all right? 56 00:09:33,499 --> 00:09:35,000 Yeah, how's it going? 57 00:09:37,199 --> 00:09:38,566 Nice. 58 00:09:39,900 --> 00:09:41,897 Yeah, when are you back? 59 00:09:41,899 --> 00:09:43,496 Yeah, no, that shouldn't be a problem. 60 00:09:43,498 --> 00:09:46,166 Let me... write it down. 61 00:09:47,398 --> 00:09:49,330 Yeah, go on. 62 00:09:49,332 --> 00:09:50,700 What was that? 63 00:09:52,365 --> 00:09:55,533 Terminal... 2. 64 00:09:56,232 --> 00:09:58,866 12:22. 65 00:09:59,565 --> 00:10:01,564 Yeah. Not a problem. 66 00:10:01,566 --> 00:10:02,866 I'll be there. 67 00:10:03,565 --> 00:10:05,263 Of course I will. 68 00:10:05,265 --> 00:10:06,565 For you, anything. 69 00:12:34,566 --> 00:12:35,631 What the fuck? 70 00:13:55,866 --> 00:13:57,400 Fuck. Fuck. 71 00:15:45,532 --> 00:15:46,630 No, no, no. 72 00:15:46,632 --> 00:15:47,929 The last thing I'm trying to do, sir, 73 00:15:47,931 --> 00:15:50,464 is to pressure anyone into making a decision 74 00:15:50,466 --> 00:15:53,197 that they don't want to go through. 75 00:15:53,199 --> 00:15:55,630 Yeah, and 15 percent is the preferable rate these days, 76 00:15:55,632 --> 00:15:57,863 but I know some vendors that are willing to offer 10 percent. 77 00:15:57,865 --> 00:16:00,196 And if I'm being completely honest with you, sir, 78 00:16:00,198 --> 00:16:02,463 I saw you. Your aura... 79 00:16:02,465 --> 00:16:05,730 and... the whole ambiance in the house... 80 00:16:05,732 --> 00:16:08,164 that just connected really well. 81 00:16:08,166 --> 00:16:09,197 So I'll let you sleep on it. 82 00:16:09,199 --> 00:16:10,063 Then you can let me know 83 00:16:10,065 --> 00:16:11,497 what you want to do in the morning. 84 00:16:11,499 --> 00:16:12,832 You have a good night. 85 00:16:37,799 --> 00:16:39,400 Oh, shit. 86 00:16:48,266 --> 00:16:51,363 So... yeah. Listen, man, I need to re-up. 87 00:16:52,431 --> 00:16:54,430 Yeah, quick one. 88 00:16:54,432 --> 00:16:56,399 It's been like two scores or something, yeah? 89 00:17:02,865 --> 00:17:06,464 That right-wing pussy telling me to black it up. 90 00:17:06,466 --> 00:17:07,862 Is he mental? 91 00:17:16,666 --> 00:17:21,196 So! So! So! 92 00:17:21,198 --> 00:17:22,530 Your lift stinks. 93 00:17:22,532 --> 00:17:24,665 Shut up, man. That's you that stinks, not my lift. 94 00:17:25,365 --> 00:17:27,632 Bruv, I mean, it's so quick. 95 00:17:36,632 --> 00:17:38,164 What are you wearing? 96 00:17:38,166 --> 00:17:39,396 What do you mean, what am I wearing? 97 00:17:39,398 --> 00:17:41,163 Why are you dressed like that? 98 00:17:41,165 --> 00:17:42,699 Went to a casting, innit? 99 00:17:43,399 --> 00:17:45,730 Oh, yeah. How did it go? 100 00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:47,929 Bruv, the director, walks up to me and goes, 101 00:17:47,931 --> 00:17:50,899 "Excuse me, mate, do you mind blacking it up?" 102 00:17:52,598 --> 00:17:53,764 - What? - Yeah. 103 00:17:53,766 --> 00:17:55,133 I looked at him and goes, 104 00:17:55,832 --> 00:17:58,297 "How much more black can I get?" 105 00:17:58,299 --> 00:18:00,396 - So, what did you do? - I had enough of that. 106 00:18:00,398 --> 00:18:02,699 Afterwards, he comes up to me and goes... 107 00:18:03,899 --> 00:18:05,397 "Do you mind adding a 'motherfucker'." 108 00:18:05,399 --> 00:18:07,829 Like, because I'm black 109 00:18:07,831 --> 00:18:09,565 I have to say "motherfucker." 110 00:18:10,398 --> 00:18:11,932 Just racist, innit? 111 00:18:12,832 --> 00:18:14,499 Now, imagine you're at the office... 112 00:18:15,632 --> 00:18:17,563 and someone comes up to you and says. 113 00:18:17,565 --> 00:18:20,666 "Hussein, do you want this bacon sandwich?" 114 00:18:22,332 --> 00:18:23,833 Would you eat it? 115 00:18:25,265 --> 00:18:26,600 Yeah. 116 00:18:27,865 --> 00:18:29,796 'Cause I eat bacon. 117 00:18:29,798 --> 00:18:31,633 Isn't it against your laws? 118 00:18:32,332 --> 00:18:33,666 I mean, yeah... 119 00:18:34,466 --> 00:18:37,364 but I eat pepperoni as well, so... 120 00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:38,796 There's no much difference, innit? 121 00:18:38,798 --> 00:18:40,400 But is it halal, though? 122 00:18:41,231 --> 00:18:43,633 There's no such thing as halal pig. 123 00:18:45,632 --> 00:18:46,999 Halal that. 124 00:18:51,199 --> 00:18:52,600 All right, cool. 125 00:21:14,698 --> 00:21:16,432 Hey, you all right? 126 00:21:17,732 --> 00:21:19,396 What? 127 00:21:19,398 --> 00:21:20,666 Already? 128 00:21:21,366 --> 00:21:22,896 Now, wait a minute. 129 00:21:22,898 --> 00:21:25,696 I thought you said 3 p.m. 130 00:21:25,698 --> 00:21:28,018 That's what I've got written down. That's what you told me. 131 00:21:29,465 --> 00:21:31,666 Wha... So what are you gonna do? 132 00:21:33,266 --> 00:21:35,800 A-All right, all right, I'll come now then, won't I? 133 00:21:36,564 --> 00:21:37,862 W-Wha... 134 00:21:37,864 --> 00:21:39,596 Okay. Chill out. 135 00:21:39,598 --> 00:21:41,399 I'll pick you up from the station then. 136 00:21:42,731 --> 00:21:44,429 Yeah. 137 00:21:44,431 --> 00:21:46,264 Hello? 138 00:21:46,266 --> 00:21:47,799 Hello? 139 00:21:48,498 --> 00:21:50,695 For fuck's sake, man. 140 00:21:50,697 --> 00:21:52,766 You told me 3 p.m. 141 00:21:53,632 --> 00:21:54,897 So it's my fault, innit? 142 00:21:54,899 --> 00:21:56,229 I can never do anything right. 143 00:24:14,431 --> 00:24:16,595 - You got me a present? - No, I didn't get you one. 144 00:24:16,597 --> 00:24:19,197 Why would I get you a present? 145 00:24:19,199 --> 00:24:20,363 Look, I wrote it down on the wall. 146 00:24:20,365 --> 00:24:21,663 - Where? - On the fridge. 147 00:24:21,665 --> 00:24:23,364 I told you I did. There. 148 00:24:23,366 --> 00:24:25,563 Oh, my God. The hell are... 149 00:24:25,565 --> 00:24:26,729 Oh, my God! 150 00:24:26,731 --> 00:24:28,662 - Whoa, whoa, whoa! - Oh, my God! 151 00:24:28,664 --> 00:24:31,164 Oh, my God! W... Where did these come from? 152 00:24:31,166 --> 00:24:33,297 - Get rid of them! - I'm trying to get rid of them! 153 00:24:33,299 --> 00:24:35,139 - Can you give me a towel or something... - No! 154 00:24:36,266 --> 00:24:38,163 - Come on, man. - No, I'm scared. 155 00:24:38,165 --> 00:24:40,196 - Well, what am I trying to do? - Open the door! 156 00:24:40,198 --> 00:24:41,896 I need one. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! 157 00:24:41,898 --> 00:24:43,462 Give me a towel, quick. 158 00:24:43,464 --> 00:24:45,296 No! Talk to them. 159 00:24:45,298 --> 00:24:48,264 Talk to them? I don't know how to talk to the pigeons. 160 00:24:48,266 --> 00:24:49,663 Hey, pigeon. 161 00:24:51,631 --> 00:24:52,896 No! 162 00:24:52,898 --> 00:24:54,230 Get off my chair, man. 163 00:24:54,232 --> 00:24:55,462 Get off! 164 00:24:55,464 --> 00:24:56,929 Go! Go! Go! 165 00:24:56,931 --> 00:24:59,362 Man! Oh, they've shit on my La-Z-Boy. 166 00:24:59,364 --> 00:25:00,798 Fuck, man. 167 00:25:10,331 --> 00:25:12,630 I swear I never left that window open. 168 00:25:12,632 --> 00:25:15,563 Well, you clearly did. Have you not got any food? 169 00:25:15,565 --> 00:25:16,830 There's loads of food in there. 170 00:25:16,832 --> 00:25:18,362 You haven't even got teabags? 171 00:25:18,364 --> 00:25:19,896 What're you talking about. I can see two teabags 172 00:25:19,898 --> 00:25:21,263 with my own eyes right there. 173 00:25:21,265 --> 00:25:22,662 - Where? - On the counter. 174 00:25:22,664 --> 00:25:23,830 They're used. 175 00:25:23,832 --> 00:25:25,763 It's called recycling. 176 00:25:25,765 --> 00:25:26,862 Wow. 177 00:25:26,864 --> 00:25:29,428 I'm not your fucking houseboy. 178 00:25:29,430 --> 00:25:31,663 I'm a professional salesman. 179 00:25:31,665 --> 00:25:34,264 I ain't got time to be fucking buying food for you. 180 00:25:34,266 --> 00:25:35,530 - So I'll go shop, yeah? - Yeah. 181 00:25:35,532 --> 00:25:37,362 I think that's a great idea. 182 00:25:37,364 --> 00:25:40,164 Okay, cool. I'll go shop, so we can eat some food tonight. 183 00:25:40,166 --> 00:25:42,630 - How 'bout that? - Can you get me some... 184 00:25:42,632 --> 00:25:43,696 chocolate chip cookies? 185 00:25:43,698 --> 00:25:44,999 No, I can't. 186 00:25:54,832 --> 00:25:56,099 Glass of red? 187 00:25:57,166 --> 00:25:58,500 Oh! 188 00:26:14,731 --> 00:26:16,664 Game over. 189 00:26:30,397 --> 00:26:31,866 This is nice. 190 00:26:32,632 --> 00:26:34,432 Came to 35 quid. 191 00:26:36,798 --> 00:26:38,466 What, you're asking for money now? 192 00:26:39,330 --> 00:26:40,831 We said half and half. 193 00:26:41,698 --> 00:26:43,499 Half the bills, half the rent. 194 00:26:46,532 --> 00:26:47,998 I'll pay you tomorrow. 195 00:26:49,498 --> 00:26:51,329 What do you want me to do? 196 00:26:51,331 --> 00:26:53,295 Run out of the house now, run to the bank or something? 197 00:26:53,297 --> 00:26:54,730 I'm just saying. 198 00:26:54,732 --> 00:26:57,429 And I'm just saying, what if your food was actually dead. 199 00:26:57,431 --> 00:26:59,630 Okay, cool. 200 00:26:59,632 --> 00:27:02,099 I'm going to bed, yeah? You can do the washing up. 201 00:28:23,264 --> 00:28:24,929 Breakfast is served. 202 00:28:24,931 --> 00:28:27,196 Morning. 203 00:28:27,198 --> 00:28:28,530 Morning. 204 00:28:28,532 --> 00:28:30,195 - Listen... - That's nice. 205 00:28:30,197 --> 00:28:31,262 I'm so sorry, yeah? 206 00:28:31,264 --> 00:28:34,296 Don't be sorry. Just be nicer. 207 00:28:34,298 --> 00:28:37,196 I didn't mean to write the wrong time down, did I? 208 00:28:37,198 --> 00:28:40,096 Yeah, I didn't mean to be a massive bitch, but fucking hell. 209 00:28:40,098 --> 00:28:42,363 I think I was feeling hemmed in or something. 210 00:28:42,365 --> 00:28:44,229 My head weren't in the right place. 211 00:28:44,231 --> 00:28:45,799 It's all right. Don't worry about it. 212 00:28:49,564 --> 00:28:51,431 Listen, I was thinking 213 00:28:52,130 --> 00:28:53,262 we should do something today. 214 00:28:53,264 --> 00:28:55,963 - What? - Like... 215 00:28:55,965 --> 00:28:58,833 - go to the cinema, watch a film. - Mm. 216 00:28:59,964 --> 00:29:01,230 Go and get some more food. 217 00:29:01,232 --> 00:29:02,596 What food? 218 00:29:02,598 --> 00:29:03,996 Go to the Chicken Shop. 219 00:29:03,998 --> 00:29:05,129 Okay. 220 00:29:05,131 --> 00:29:06,597 - You like the Chicken Shop? - Yeah. 221 00:29:06,599 --> 00:29:08,200 Then we can come back... 222 00:29:08,930 --> 00:29:10,529 and then I can... 223 00:29:10,531 --> 00:29:12,531 What's that? 224 00:29:13,365 --> 00:29:15,028 What's that? 225 00:29:15,030 --> 00:29:16,396 - It's the... - What? 226 00:29:16,398 --> 00:29:18,963 - The Slider. - The Slider. 227 00:29:18,965 --> 00:29:20,496 Yeah, it's time for the Slider. 228 00:29:20,498 --> 00:29:22,529 You need to work on your moves. 229 00:29:22,531 --> 00:29:24,229 You know I can always use the Slider. 230 00:29:24,231 --> 00:29:25,862 You need to work on your Slider. 231 00:29:25,864 --> 00:29:27,195 Your Slider's dead. 232 00:29:27,197 --> 00:29:29,029 - You said the Slider was good. - Mmm. 233 00:29:29,031 --> 00:29:30,529 That's not what you were saying. 234 00:29:30,531 --> 00:29:32,395 I faked it. 235 00:29:32,397 --> 00:29:34,162 What? 236 00:29:34,164 --> 00:29:35,263 You faked it? 237 00:29:35,265 --> 00:29:37,096 I'm so sorry. 238 00:29:37,098 --> 00:29:39,128 Stop it. 239 00:29:39,130 --> 00:29:41,162 - Were you faking that now as well? - Yeah. 240 00:29:41,164 --> 00:29:43,330 Yeah, but that's different. That's tickling me. 241 00:29:43,332 --> 00:29:46,029 Oh! You're meant to be nice. 242 00:29:46,031 --> 00:29:47,597 - I'm being nice. - No, you're not. 243 00:29:47,599 --> 00:29:49,496 - I am. - No, you're not. You're being... 244 00:29:50,330 --> 00:29:52,330 - Do you wanna be any louder? - Yeah. 245 00:29:52,332 --> 00:29:54,429 I'll fucking scream the place down. 246 00:29:54,431 --> 00:29:56,128 You're meant to be nice to me. 247 00:29:58,998 --> 00:30:00,596 Stop it. I don't like it when you play. 248 00:30:01,931 --> 00:30:03,396 Mmm. 249 00:30:03,398 --> 00:30:05,195 You said my Slider was dead. 250 00:30:05,197 --> 00:30:08,096 - Dead. - No... 251 00:30:08,098 --> 00:30:09,895 Fine, I ain't gonna bring out the Slider. 252 00:30:09,897 --> 00:30:11,363 No, I'm joking. 253 00:30:11,365 --> 00:30:12,928 I'll give you The Brown Hammer. 254 00:30:12,930 --> 00:30:16,498 The Brown Hammer... 255 00:30:24,130 --> 00:30:27,195 ♪ I know you and you know me and I know you, yeah ♪ 256 00:30:27,197 --> 00:30:30,028 ♪ That's my other half, she stick to me like glue ♪ 257 00:30:30,030 --> 00:30:31,263 What are you doing? 258 00:30:31,265 --> 00:30:33,263 - I didn't do that on purpose. - Don't lie. 259 00:30:33,265 --> 00:30:34,230 Don't get ugly. 260 00:30:34,232 --> 00:30:36,062 What if my head was to crack into that door. 261 00:30:36,064 --> 00:30:37,395 Oh, you're so dramatic. 262 00:30:37,397 --> 00:30:39,162 You wouldn't be living in this amazing flat then. 263 00:30:39,164 --> 00:30:41,162 - You do know that, right? - Are you serious? 264 00:30:41,164 --> 00:30:42,665 This place ain't amazing? 265 00:30:43,564 --> 00:30:44,963 - Mmm, it's all right. - What? 266 00:30:44,965 --> 00:30:46,230 It'll do. 267 00:30:46,232 --> 00:30:47,563 So what would you change about it then? 268 00:30:47,565 --> 00:30:50,095 I'd get some plants in, I'd get some candles in, 269 00:30:50,097 --> 00:30:51,396 I'd get some quotes. 270 00:30:51,398 --> 00:30:53,128 Quotes, all right. Quotes I can work with. 271 00:30:53,130 --> 00:30:54,262 - Yeah? - Yeah. All right. 272 00:30:54,264 --> 00:30:55,597 We can do that. Can you, um... 273 00:30:55,599 --> 00:30:56,863 help me when you're done. 274 00:30:56,865 --> 00:30:58,430 Yeah, 275 00:30:58,432 --> 00:31:00,028 I can. 276 00:31:00,030 --> 00:31:02,096 What time are you home tonight? 277 00:31:02,098 --> 00:31:04,928 Um, probably later than usual 278 00:31:04,930 --> 00:31:06,230 - because... - What? 279 00:31:06,232 --> 00:31:08,299 I've got to impress my first day back. 280 00:31:09,131 --> 00:31:10,563 But you said tonight we're gonna... 281 00:31:10,565 --> 00:31:11,496 What? 282 00:31:11,498 --> 00:31:13,928 - Put you against the wall. - Yeah, we can, 283 00:31:13,930 --> 00:31:15,430 but I'm just gonna have to be later. 284 00:31:15,432 --> 00:31:16,262 All right. 285 00:31:16,264 --> 00:31:18,395 You better sell five houses today. 286 00:31:18,397 --> 00:31:19,862 - Five? - Yeah. 287 00:31:19,864 --> 00:31:21,196 I mean, I got twelve lined up already. 288 00:31:21,198 --> 00:31:22,463 Oh, you're so full of it. 289 00:32:57,431 --> 00:32:59,329 Take these off. 290 00:33:02,897 --> 00:33:04,929 Come, then. Show me what you've got. 291 00:33:04,931 --> 00:33:06,063 Show you what I've got? 292 00:33:06,065 --> 00:33:07,362 - Oh, it's like that now? - Yeah. 293 00:33:07,364 --> 00:33:09,062 - It's competition time? - Yeah. 294 00:33:09,064 --> 00:33:10,530 - Last time that happened... - Mmm. 295 00:33:10,532 --> 00:33:11,863 I'm sure I won. 296 00:33:11,865 --> 00:33:13,398 - Really? - Yeah. 297 00:33:25,065 --> 00:33:26,399 Mmm. 298 00:33:30,064 --> 00:33:32,264 - Hello. - Mmm. 299 00:33:32,964 --> 00:33:34,331 Hello. 300 00:33:40,365 --> 00:33:42,531 What's going on? Why is it not... 301 00:33:43,231 --> 00:33:45,098 Oh, for fuck's sake. 302 00:33:47,064 --> 00:33:48,731 It's all right. Don't worry about it. 303 00:33:49,464 --> 00:33:51,229 Why are you so ugly? 304 00:33:51,231 --> 00:33:53,711 It's all right. You ain't got to be Mr. Lova Lova all the time. 305 00:33:55,198 --> 00:33:56,596 - All the time? - Yeah. 306 00:33:56,598 --> 00:33:58,195 - It's fine. - Of course I have to. 307 00:33:58,197 --> 00:34:00,528 No, you don't, man. It happens. 308 00:34:00,530 --> 00:34:02,496 And when is the last time this happened to me? 309 00:34:02,498 --> 00:34:04,862 Before I went on a holiday. 310 00:34:04,864 --> 00:34:07,296 There's been so many times we're about to have sex and you can't get it up. 311 00:34:07,298 --> 00:34:08,561 So what? All this is my fault? 312 00:34:08,563 --> 00:34:10,564 No, I'm just saying it's probably the weed. 313 00:34:11,897 --> 00:34:13,229 Messes with your libido, innit? 314 00:34:13,231 --> 00:34:14,629 - It's not the weed. - It's not the weed, no? 315 00:34:14,631 --> 00:34:16,629 - Nah, it's not the weed. - What is it then? 316 00:34:16,631 --> 00:34:18,629 It's you. 317 00:34:18,631 --> 00:34:20,028 It's your fault. It's not my fault. 318 00:34:20,030 --> 00:34:21,398 Why would it be my fault? 319 00:34:22,097 --> 00:34:23,562 'Cause you got a flat arse. 320 00:34:23,564 --> 00:34:25,096 That's why. 321 00:34:25,098 --> 00:34:26,532 How else can I not get it up? 322 00:34:27,264 --> 00:34:29,028 There's nothing even there, man. 323 00:34:29,030 --> 00:34:30,896 Cool. 324 00:34:30,898 --> 00:34:32,395 Prick. 325 00:35:10,898 --> 00:35:12,698 I feel like dog shit, man. 326 00:35:13,464 --> 00:35:15,199 Well, you look like dog shit. 327 00:35:18,897 --> 00:35:19,996 What? 328 00:35:19,998 --> 00:35:22,095 - That's funny? - Yeah. 329 00:35:22,097 --> 00:35:24,929 You're such a pussy. Man up. Grow some balls, man. 330 00:35:24,931 --> 00:35:26,331 Man-flu? 331 00:35:35,496 --> 00:35:37,528 - Have you seen my diamond tiepin? - No. 332 00:35:37,530 --> 00:35:39,163 - What do you mean no? - I mean no. 333 00:35:39,165 --> 00:35:40,832 We all great, innit? 334 00:35:43,098 --> 00:35:45,198 Shut up, man. 335 00:35:47,331 --> 00:35:49,164 So rude. 336 00:36:43,197 --> 00:36:45,098 Where is it? Oh. 337 00:37:27,264 --> 00:37:29,531 "Big monster dick." 338 00:37:30,330 --> 00:37:32,797 "Big monster dick." 339 00:37:34,030 --> 00:37:37,465 "Soldier in my Ass." 340 00:37:43,065 --> 00:37:47,664 "Suck My Nine Inch in a Gloryhole." 341 00:37:52,564 --> 00:37:54,630 "Monkeys in the Shower." 342 00:37:58,965 --> 00:38:01,098 "Cock-a-cock." 343 00:39:50,097 --> 00:39:52,161 - Oh, that's funny? - That's not me. 344 00:39:52,163 --> 00:39:53,863 So, what is this? Why is it cut? 345 00:39:53,865 --> 00:39:55,194 I don't know. 346 00:39:55,196 --> 00:39:56,129 I left this morning, Mel. 347 00:39:56,131 --> 00:39:57,862 I found out mid-day whilst I was at work 348 00:39:57,864 --> 00:39:59,362 walking around like a fucking dickhead. 349 00:39:59,364 --> 00:40:01,429 Oh, there's no change there. Is there, Hussein? 350 00:40:01,431 --> 00:40:02,995 Come on, Mel, man. I'm being serious. 351 00:40:02,997 --> 00:40:04,229 So am I, being serious. 352 00:40:04,231 --> 00:40:05,394 - No, you're not. - Yes, I am. 353 00:40:05,396 --> 00:40:07,029 - And what about my phone? - What's... What? 354 00:40:07,031 --> 00:40:08,529 - What did you do to it? - What do you mean? 355 00:40:08,531 --> 00:40:10,261 I put it on charge last night next to you. 356 00:40:10,263 --> 00:40:12,062 - Okay, cool. - That's not funny. 357 00:40:12,064 --> 00:40:14,862 I walked out this morning, and it was fucking zero percent. 358 00:40:14,864 --> 00:40:17,295 - Okay, what about my laptop? - What about your laptop? 359 00:40:17,297 --> 00:40:19,362 Why is there porn on my laptop? 360 00:40:19,364 --> 00:40:21,329 - I don't know. - You've been watching porn on my laptop? 361 00:40:21,331 --> 00:40:22,394 - No! - No? 362 00:40:22,396 --> 00:40:23,494 - No! - Okay. 363 00:40:23,496 --> 00:40:25,862 I don't watch porn on your laptop. 364 00:40:25,864 --> 00:40:29,361 Okay, so you're telling me, Hussein, that. 365 00:40:29,363 --> 00:40:31,261 "Soldier in My Arse" isn't you? 366 00:40:31,263 --> 00:40:33,162 - What? - You've been watching gay porn on my laptop? 367 00:40:33,164 --> 00:40:34,561 - No, I haven't. - I took this to work today. 368 00:40:34,563 --> 00:40:36,162 You know my boss, he saw that today. 369 00:40:36,164 --> 00:40:38,195 It's disgusting. It's actually rank. 370 00:40:38,197 --> 00:40:39,996 - Mel. - What? 371 00:40:39,998 --> 00:40:41,529 I haven't been watching gay porn on your laptop. 372 00:40:41,531 --> 00:40:43,195 What else has been watching porn on my laptop? 373 00:40:43,197 --> 00:40:45,863 Why... Who else lives here? 374 00:40:45,865 --> 00:40:47,628 - Don't ask me dumb questions. - Who else lives here? 375 00:40:47,630 --> 00:40:49,562 - No one. - Okay, so just you and me live here, yeah? 376 00:40:49,564 --> 00:40:51,863 - Yeah. - So you're telling me that somehow 377 00:40:51,865 --> 00:40:54,095 a ghost is watching porn on my laptop? 378 00:40:54,097 --> 00:40:56,995 - I don't know what "Solider in My Arse" is. - Is that what turns you on? 379 00:40:56,997 --> 00:40:59,561 Is that what turns you on? You know, it actually makes sense. 380 00:40:59,563 --> 00:41:01,128 That's why you can't get it up, ain't it? 381 00:41:01,130 --> 00:41:02,529 'Cause you like dick. 382 00:41:02,531 --> 00:41:03,996 Mel. 383 00:41:03,998 --> 00:41:05,494 I haven't been watching gay porn on your laptop. 384 00:41:05,496 --> 00:41:06,764 And what the hell is this? 385 00:41:09,564 --> 00:41:11,495 - They're your knickers. - Yeah, what's that? 386 00:41:11,497 --> 00:41:13,094 - Ugh! I don't know. - It's your cum. 387 00:41:13,096 --> 00:41:15,028 - No, that's not. - Yes, it is your cum. 388 00:41:15,030 --> 00:41:16,863 Why're you wanking over my knickers for? 389 00:41:16,865 --> 00:41:19,028 - You've been trying... - That's nasty, Mel. I would not do that. 390 00:41:19,030 --> 00:41:20,629 I can't believe I actually let you touch me. 391 00:41:20,631 --> 00:41:23,095 - It wasn't me. I didn't do anything. - Whatever. 392 00:41:23,097 --> 00:41:24,596 - Why don't you ever understand? - You're sick! 393 00:41:24,598 --> 00:41:26,099 You never listen. 394 00:42:28,598 --> 00:42:30,362 Oh, my God! 395 00:42:30,364 --> 00:42:31,462 - Hussein. - Yeah. 396 00:42:31,464 --> 00:42:33,395 - Come flush the toilet. - What? 397 00:42:33,397 --> 00:42:34,495 Flush the toilet. 398 00:42:34,497 --> 00:42:35,529 Why? I never used it. 399 00:42:35,531 --> 00:42:37,228 - Yes, you did. - No, I didn't. 400 00:42:37,230 --> 00:42:38,895 You've done a shit, and you've not flushed it. 401 00:42:38,897 --> 00:42:40,194 It's disgusting. Flush it. 402 00:42:40,196 --> 00:42:41,628 - I haven't shit yet. - I'm not flushing that. 403 00:42:41,630 --> 00:42:43,162 What? Oh! 404 00:42:43,164 --> 00:42:45,461 - That's nasty. - Yeah, it's nasty. Flush it. 405 00:42:45,463 --> 00:42:47,231 - It's not mine. - It's not mine. 406 00:42:48,197 --> 00:42:50,628 - What do you want me to do? - What are you lying? 407 00:42:50,630 --> 00:42:53,061 - I'm not lying. - Yes, you are lying. 408 00:42:53,063 --> 00:42:56,328 - No, I'm not. - And I guess you never used this, no? 409 00:42:56,330 --> 00:42:58,596 - No. - This is my shampoo. You know that, right? 410 00:42:58,598 --> 00:43:00,194 - Yes. - Cost me 40 pounds. 411 00:43:00,196 --> 00:43:01,963 It's empty. 412 00:43:01,965 --> 00:43:03,128 I've got my own shampoo. 413 00:43:03,130 --> 00:43:04,628 So use your own in the future. 414 00:43:04,630 --> 00:43:06,329 - I do... - This is empty. 415 00:43:06,331 --> 00:43:09,462 This cost me 40 quid. You're so selfish. 416 00:43:09,464 --> 00:43:11,295 It's probably you overusing it. 417 00:43:11,297 --> 00:43:13,331 No, I haven't used it yet. 418 00:43:14,030 --> 00:43:15,531 All right. 419 00:43:17,463 --> 00:43:20,027 I can't even use that shampoo anyway. 420 00:43:20,029 --> 00:43:21,428 It don't even work in my head. 421 00:43:21,430 --> 00:43:22,862 I can't use that shampoo... 422 00:43:22,864 --> 00:43:24,561 I don't care whether you can't use it or not. 423 00:43:24,563 --> 00:43:26,528 - I didn't do it. - You're a compulsive liar, you know that? 424 00:43:26,530 --> 00:43:28,329 - I'm not lying. - Yes, you are. 425 00:43:28,331 --> 00:43:30,461 You don't know the difference between reality and a lie anymore. 426 00:43:30,463 --> 00:43:32,028 I didn't take a shit, and I didn't use your shampoo. 427 00:43:32,030 --> 00:43:35,128 When are you gonna take these fucking make-believe images out of your head? 428 00:43:35,130 --> 00:43:36,895 - It's not make-believe. - Yes, it is make-believe. 429 00:43:36,897 --> 00:43:37,995 - No, it's not. - It really is. 430 00:43:37,997 --> 00:43:39,863 - No, it's not. - I haven't done it! 431 00:43:39,865 --> 00:43:42,261 I'm worried. You got something wrong in your head. 432 00:43:42,263 --> 00:43:43,863 - Really? You think I'm mental? - Yeah. 433 00:43:43,865 --> 00:43:45,261 You got bipolar or something. 434 00:43:45,263 --> 00:43:46,664 - You think I got bipolar? - Yeah. 435 00:43:47,564 --> 00:43:49,328 You're a selfish asshole sometimes. 436 00:43:49,330 --> 00:43:50,528 - I'm selfish? - Yeah. 437 00:43:50,530 --> 00:43:51,628 - Me? - Yeah. 438 00:43:51,630 --> 00:43:53,027 When all I've done over these whole 439 00:43:53,029 --> 00:43:55,027 past few years is care for you. 440 00:43:55,029 --> 00:43:56,462 - Really? - Yeah. 441 00:43:56,464 --> 00:43:58,261 - I've never not cared for you? - And I've loved you. 442 00:43:58,263 --> 00:43:59,927 Yeah, have I loved you? 443 00:43:59,929 --> 00:44:02,061 - And I've allowed you to stay in this place. - Ah, cool. 444 00:44:02,063 --> 00:44:03,562 - You've allowed me to stay in here, yeah? - Yeah. 445 00:44:03,564 --> 00:44:06,195 Yeah, you've allowed me to stay in here like I'm a burden? 446 00:44:06,197 --> 00:44:07,895 - How dare you? - Is it not the truth? 447 00:44:07,897 --> 00:44:11,561 Whether it's the truth or not, Hussein, how dare you! 448 00:44:11,563 --> 00:44:15,028 I stayed here 'cause I wanted to stay here, not 'cause I needed to stay here. 449 00:44:15,030 --> 00:44:17,895 What, you think you're some amazing estate agent, yeah? You're not. 450 00:44:17,897 --> 00:44:19,461 You're a little pussy, all right? 451 00:44:19,463 --> 00:44:21,428 Know that. I'm done. 452 00:44:21,430 --> 00:44:24,528 - You do that all the time. - Do what? What do I do? What do I do? 453 00:44:24,530 --> 00:44:26,295 Just step away from the problem. 454 00:44:26,297 --> 00:44:28,531 You are the problem, Hussein. 455 00:44:32,296 --> 00:44:34,297 I think you should get ready for work. 456 00:44:36,996 --> 00:44:39,564 I won't be here when you get back. I'm done. 457 00:44:41,964 --> 00:44:43,498 Cool. 458 00:44:48,897 --> 00:44:50,895 Don't call me and don't come back knocking on my door. 459 00:44:50,897 --> 00:44:52,894 I ain't gonna call you. 460 00:44:52,896 --> 00:44:54,831 You fucking always do. 461 00:45:23,598 --> 00:45:26,131 Bon voyage. 462 00:47:17,164 --> 00:47:18,861 Oh, man! 463 00:47:18,863 --> 00:47:20,497 What the fuck is that? 464 00:47:22,597 --> 00:47:24,230 Ugh! 465 00:47:26,030 --> 00:47:28,062 So, what are you telling me? 466 00:47:28,064 --> 00:47:29,397 You've got a ghost? 467 00:47:30,863 --> 00:47:32,630 A ghost who shits. 468 00:47:33,564 --> 00:47:37,361 Well, how else do you explain it then, man? 469 00:47:37,363 --> 00:47:40,628 I don't know. I think your bra is too tight or something. 470 00:47:40,630 --> 00:47:42,294 I don't wear a bra. 471 00:47:42,296 --> 00:47:44,961 I'm telling you, it was all her. 472 00:47:44,963 --> 00:47:46,395 I hear you. 473 00:47:46,397 --> 00:47:48,298 But you didn't see the size of... 474 00:47:48,996 --> 00:47:50,395 what I saw. 475 00:47:50,397 --> 00:47:52,561 It was a man's work, you know. 476 00:47:52,563 --> 00:47:54,628 Like a builder's work. Know what I'm saying? 477 00:47:54,630 --> 00:47:56,461 Yeah, that's exactly what I said, bruv. 478 00:47:56,463 --> 00:47:58,561 You fucking dodged a bullet with that one, mate. 479 00:47:58,563 --> 00:48:01,861 I told her. I actually told her... 480 00:48:01,863 --> 00:48:03,529 I laid down the plan. 481 00:48:03,531 --> 00:48:06,629 She was crying. Tears running down her eyes. 482 00:48:06,631 --> 00:48:08,994 - Yeah? - You know... 483 00:48:08,996 --> 00:48:11,895 "No, what? No, Hussein, don't do this. 484 00:48:11,897 --> 00:48:14,094 We can still be together." 485 00:48:14,096 --> 00:48:16,262 - Hmm. - "Let's stay friends." 486 00:48:16,264 --> 00:48:17,361 Stay friends! 487 00:48:17,363 --> 00:48:19,961 - "I'll change." Fuck off! - Fuck that. 488 00:48:19,963 --> 00:48:21,529 I got my life back now, innit? 489 00:48:21,531 --> 00:48:23,295 I'm a free man. 490 00:48:23,297 --> 00:48:25,095 - With the girls. - Yeah, you're right. 491 00:48:25,097 --> 00:48:27,028 Yeah. You're right. 492 00:48:27,030 --> 00:48:31,198 And all you need to do now is to stop looking like shit. 493 00:51:23,997 --> 00:51:25,829 Hello, Gerry. 494 00:51:25,831 --> 00:51:28,495 Yeah, mate. Um... 495 00:51:28,497 --> 00:51:29,960 Yeah, no, I'm not good, man. 496 00:51:29,962 --> 00:51:32,494 Listen, I've been meaning to ring you, man. 497 00:51:32,496 --> 00:51:35,629 Yeah, I'm iller than a motherfucker right now, mate. 498 00:51:36,962 --> 00:51:39,628 Yeah, I can send you the schedule. 499 00:51:39,630 --> 00:51:40,931 Hm... 500 00:51:41,930 --> 00:51:44,764 Mmh, mmh... 501 00:51:58,731 --> 00:52:01,561 But I never even ordered one of these, man. 502 00:52:01,563 --> 00:52:04,328 Yeah, well, I dunno. Must be a gift or something, innit? 503 00:52:04,330 --> 00:52:06,295 - A gift? - Yeah. 504 00:52:06,297 --> 00:52:08,027 Who gets a freezer as a gift, mate? 505 00:52:08,029 --> 00:52:09,629 That's not our problem, is it? 506 00:52:09,631 --> 00:52:11,428 Look, if you don't want it, fair enough. 507 00:52:11,430 --> 00:52:12,893 But if you want to have it taken back, 508 00:52:12,895 --> 00:52:14,828 you're gonna have to contact the depot yourself. 509 00:52:14,830 --> 00:52:18,498 - What? - Yeah, you shouldn't have signed for it if you didn't want it. 510 00:52:29,396 --> 00:52:31,097 So immature, Mel. 511 00:52:34,396 --> 00:52:36,730 Oh, for fuck's sake, man. 512 00:52:37,464 --> 00:52:39,462 Hold on, what? 513 00:52:39,464 --> 00:52:42,030 What the fuck are you talking about? Quilted for softness. 514 00:52:42,963 --> 00:52:44,698 Quilted for softness? 515 00:52:45,731 --> 00:52:48,262 You asked me for tissue, and I gave you tissue. 516 00:52:48,264 --> 00:52:50,184 You're lucky I didn't give you fucking sandpaper. 517 00:52:51,631 --> 00:52:53,527 No, man, I know. I'm grateful. 518 00:52:53,529 --> 00:52:55,395 Don't be grateful. 519 00:52:55,397 --> 00:52:56,893 Be embarrassed. 520 00:52:56,895 --> 00:52:58,196 Be ashamed. 521 00:53:00,963 --> 00:53:03,130 Listen, you staying for a puff or what? 522 00:53:04,297 --> 00:53:05,927 You what? What, share your joint? 523 00:53:05,929 --> 00:53:07,698 Yeah. 524 00:53:08,429 --> 00:53:10,960 And catch your herpes. 525 00:53:10,962 --> 00:53:13,428 Bruv, I rather eat onions. 526 00:53:13,430 --> 00:53:15,661 Look, I'm not doing this bullshit again, man. 527 00:53:15,663 --> 00:53:17,697 I'm a busy man, you know? 528 00:53:18,597 --> 00:53:19,893 Yeah, I know you are but like I said, 529 00:53:19,895 --> 00:53:21,327 it was an emergency, wasn't it? 530 00:53:21,329 --> 00:53:23,028 - That why I needed you, bruv. - Yeah. 531 00:53:23,030 --> 00:53:25,828 But, you know, when you get yourself back on your feet, yeah, 532 00:53:25,830 --> 00:53:27,563 you owe me. 533 00:53:28,396 --> 00:53:31,294 Yeah. I'm starting to get better anyway. 534 00:53:31,296 --> 00:53:32,893 Look, I'm going to give you some advice, yeah? 535 00:53:32,895 --> 00:53:34,530 You're gonna listen? 536 00:53:35,297 --> 00:53:36,931 Look up at the stars... 537 00:53:37,630 --> 00:53:39,064 and not at your feet. 538 00:53:40,330 --> 00:53:42,362 And try to make sense 539 00:53:42,364 --> 00:53:43,698 of what you see... 540 00:53:44,429 --> 00:53:46,427 and wonder... 541 00:53:46,429 --> 00:53:49,663 what really makes this universe exist. 542 00:53:52,530 --> 00:53:54,064 Be curious. 543 00:53:54,763 --> 00:53:57,597 Yeah, yeah. You're right, man. 544 00:53:58,497 --> 00:53:59,960 I need to be more. 545 00:53:59,962 --> 00:54:01,897 What the fuck is that, anyway? 546 00:54:04,529 --> 00:54:05,830 That. 547 00:54:07,996 --> 00:54:09,663 That's a freezer. 548 00:54:26,264 --> 00:54:28,727 ♪ Strangers in the night ♪ 549 00:54:28,729 --> 00:54:31,794 ♪ Exchanging glances ♪ 550 00:54:31,796 --> 00:54:34,528 ♪ Wondering in the night ♪ 551 00:54:34,530 --> 00:54:37,231 ♪ What were the chances ♪ 552 00:54:37,930 --> 00:54:40,027 ♪ La-la-la da-da ♪ 553 00:54:40,029 --> 00:54:41,960 ♪ La-la da-da ♪ 554 00:54:41,962 --> 00:54:44,264 ♪ La-da ♪ 555 00:54:47,695 --> 00:54:50,828 ♪ Something in your eyes ♪ 556 00:54:50,830 --> 00:54:53,798 ♪ Was so exciting ♪ 557 00:54:54,497 --> 00:54:57,295 ♪ Something in your smile ♪ 558 00:54:57,297 --> 00:55:00,594 ♪ Was so inviting ♪ 559 00:55:00,596 --> 00:55:02,930 ♪ La da-da-da-da ♪ 560 00:55:04,029 --> 00:55:07,261 Come on, Mel. Just answer your phone, man. 561 00:55:07,263 --> 00:55:08,661 Please. 562 00:55:08,663 --> 00:55:09,961 I just wanna talk to you. 563 00:55:09,963 --> 00:55:13,794 ♪ La-la-la da-da ♪ 564 00:55:13,796 --> 00:55:15,861 ♪ La-la-da-da ♪ 565 00:55:15,863 --> 00:55:17,897 Ring me back when you can, yeah? 566 00:55:18,596 --> 00:55:19,860 I miss you. 567 00:56:55,895 --> 00:56:57,963 What the fuck? 568 00:56:58,896 --> 00:57:00,964 I need one as soon as possible. 569 00:57:01,896 --> 00:57:05,427 Yeah, um, preferably today. 570 00:57:05,429 --> 00:57:08,029 Yeah. No, sorry, it's an emergency, you see? 571 00:57:09,464 --> 00:57:10,964 One second. 572 00:57:13,364 --> 00:57:14,760 All right, Gerry, mate. 573 00:57:14,762 --> 00:57:16,295 Look, I can't really talk right now, man. 574 00:57:16,297 --> 00:57:17,564 I'm a bit busy. 575 00:57:21,563 --> 00:57:22,995 What? 576 00:57:22,997 --> 00:57:24,560 Hold on a minute. 577 00:57:24,562 --> 00:57:25,961 What are you talking about? 578 00:57:25,963 --> 00:57:27,964 I sent you the full schedule yesterday. 579 00:57:30,397 --> 00:57:33,498 Warning? You're gonna give me a warning? 580 00:57:34,563 --> 00:57:36,395 No, cool. No, it's fine, Gerry. 581 00:57:36,397 --> 00:57:38,362 It's all right. Go on, give me a warning, innit? 582 00:57:38,364 --> 00:57:39,827 'Cause I let you know, yeah? 583 00:57:39,829 --> 00:57:42,694 That warning ain't gonna be as bad as chemotherapy, is it? 584 00:57:42,696 --> 00:57:44,694 No, and just in case you wondered 585 00:57:44,696 --> 00:57:47,362 it's terminal as well. 586 00:57:47,364 --> 00:57:50,261 So, sorry if I got some other things on my mind, mate, yeah? 587 00:57:50,263 --> 00:57:51,664 Fucking prick. 588 00:58:03,662 --> 00:58:05,760 A million and 50. 589 00:58:05,762 --> 00:58:07,295 A million and 10. 590 00:58:07,297 --> 00:58:08,563 A million and 20. 591 00:58:09,962 --> 00:58:11,294 Gerry. 592 00:58:11,296 --> 00:58:12,897 What are you doing here? 593 00:58:14,997 --> 00:58:17,264 What is that? 594 00:58:19,729 --> 00:58:21,264 It's a cock. 595 00:58:22,562 --> 00:58:25,262 - It is disgusting. - Yeah, I know. 596 00:58:25,264 --> 00:58:27,960 - Are you sure it's not yours? - It's not mine. 597 00:58:27,962 --> 00:58:29,694 But why are you looking at me like that? 598 00:58:29,696 --> 00:58:31,594 It certainly ain't mine. 599 00:58:31,596 --> 00:58:32,964 Have you seen it? 600 00:58:33,663 --> 00:58:35,361 It's white. 601 00:58:35,363 --> 00:58:36,495 Whose cock is it then? 602 00:58:36,497 --> 00:58:38,460 How the fuck am I meant to know whose cock that is? 603 00:58:38,462 --> 00:58:40,361 It was sent from your phone. They all were. 604 00:58:40,363 --> 00:58:42,263 Well, my phone must have got nicked then. 605 00:58:42,962 --> 00:58:44,693 I spoke to you this morning. 606 00:58:44,695 --> 00:58:46,561 Yeah, and it must have been in the afternoon. 607 00:58:46,563 --> 00:58:48,660 After I came out of the doctor's. 608 00:58:48,662 --> 00:58:50,995 That's it. My phone got nicked in the afternoon, 609 00:58:50,997 --> 00:58:52,593 and they got sent. 610 00:58:52,595 --> 00:58:54,264 Why? When... when were they sent to you? 611 00:58:55,030 --> 00:58:57,361 - This afternoon. - Hah! There we go. 612 00:58:57,363 --> 00:58:58,893 Makes sense, don't it? 613 00:59:04,329 --> 00:59:05,995 Oh dear. What is that? 614 00:59:09,329 --> 00:59:10,894 Look, Gerry, man... 615 00:59:10,896 --> 00:59:13,763 - I swear, I didn't mean to lie. - Save it. 616 00:59:14,629 --> 00:59:15,994 You're fired. 617 00:59:15,996 --> 00:59:17,461 Effective immediately. 618 00:59:17,463 --> 00:59:19,494 - No, you can't do that. - I just did. 619 01:01:11,263 --> 01:01:12,761 You better not be lying this time, 620 01:01:12,763 --> 01:01:14,960 or I swear to God. 621 01:01:14,962 --> 01:01:16,494 Yeah, well, of course I'm gonna ask you. 622 01:01:16,496 --> 01:01:18,597 You're the only person who had access to my wallet. 623 01:01:19,296 --> 01:01:20,360 So it wasn't you 624 01:01:20,362 --> 01:01:21,727 who ordered this massive freezer 625 01:01:21,729 --> 01:01:23,696 that just sitting in my living room right now? 626 01:01:24,729 --> 01:01:26,526 So, Mr. Hussein, 627 01:01:26,528 --> 01:01:28,894 new lock, bolts, and chain. 628 01:01:28,896 --> 01:01:31,029 You can't really do much more than that. 629 01:01:32,296 --> 01:01:34,729 Safe as houses, as they say. 630 01:02:44,029 --> 01:02:46,460 Go on, then. 631 01:02:46,462 --> 01:02:47,964 Sh-show your face. 632 01:02:49,762 --> 01:02:51,829 Fucking prick. 633 01:03:03,830 --> 01:03:05,930 What the fuck? 634 01:03:59,830 --> 01:04:02,493 "According to the law in London," 635 01:04:02,495 --> 01:04:04,660 you may sit down for the night, 636 01:04:04,662 --> 01:04:07,294 but the police must move you on 637 01:04:07,296 --> 01:04:08,997 "if they see you asleep." 638 01:04:21,730 --> 01:04:23,863 Hey, how's it going? 639 01:04:24,562 --> 01:04:26,029 My friends. 640 01:05:06,629 --> 01:05:08,896 Yes, Mum, I've eaten. 641 01:05:09,930 --> 01:05:12,597 I had, like, a pepperoni pizza before. 642 01:05:14,329 --> 01:05:15,761 No. 643 01:05:15,763 --> 01:05:17,530 I don't know whose it is. 644 01:05:18,363 --> 01:05:20,761 I'm being serious. 645 01:05:20,763 --> 01:05:24,597 Wh... Why are you asking me anyway? Like you haven't seen my willy before. 646 01:05:26,895 --> 01:05:28,427 No. 647 01:05:28,429 --> 01:05:31,730 Th-That's not me trying to show you that I'm gay. 648 01:05:33,363 --> 01:05:34,629 Mum. 649 01:05:35,328 --> 01:05:36,426 It... 650 01:05:36,428 --> 01:05:38,596 The willy was not even circumcised. 651 01:05:40,629 --> 01:05:44,761 So why... I don't understand why you would even think it's mine. 652 01:05:44,763 --> 01:05:46,230 Have you seen the color of it? 653 01:05:48,295 --> 01:05:50,196 It looks like a fucking fish finger. 654 01:06:22,263 --> 01:06:24,096 I guess it's just us guys now, innit? 655 01:06:26,563 --> 01:06:28,629 Guess we gotta look after each other. 656 01:08:10,629 --> 01:08:13,029 You fucking idiot. 657 01:08:28,962 --> 01:08:31,497 Never a lender or borrower be! 658 01:08:32,395 --> 01:08:34,030 You used to say it all the time. 659 01:08:35,929 --> 01:08:38,096 Look, I know we're a working family, 660 01:08:38,829 --> 01:08:40,727 and... 661 01:08:40,729 --> 01:08:42,627 this isn't me trying to get you and Dad 662 01:08:42,629 --> 01:08:43,693 to pay for my mortgage. 663 01:08:43,695 --> 01:08:44,997 That's not what I'm asking. 664 01:08:45,894 --> 01:08:49,460 I just wanted to see if he was able 665 01:08:49,462 --> 01:08:52,097 to lend me a couple hundred quid until the end of... 666 01:08:56,329 --> 01:08:58,393 No, I know. 667 01:08:58,395 --> 01:09:00,597 There is not a lot out there, Mum, but... 668 01:09:01,596 --> 01:09:03,026 I'm gonna try it. 669 01:09:03,028 --> 01:09:04,627 I hope to find one. 670 01:09:04,629 --> 01:09:06,162 Pretty confident I can. 671 01:09:09,428 --> 01:09:12,427 Just gotta look up at the stars and not down at my feet, 672 01:09:12,429 --> 01:09:13,763 I guess. 673 01:09:16,328 --> 01:09:18,530 What's the matter with you? Can't say hello? 674 01:09:25,263 --> 01:09:27,162 What the bumboclaat? 675 01:09:28,996 --> 01:09:31,029 Holy shit! 676 01:09:36,928 --> 01:09:39,064 Bruv, what's going on? What's the matter? 677 01:09:46,529 --> 01:09:48,360 Are you all right, bruv? 678 01:09:48,362 --> 01:09:50,128 Looks like a fucking crack den in here. 679 01:09:51,663 --> 01:09:52,959 Bruv... 680 01:09:52,961 --> 01:09:55,797 just give me my weed and fuck off, innit? 681 01:09:58,329 --> 01:09:59,830 Oh, so, it's like that, yeah? 682 01:10:05,395 --> 01:10:07,530 You know what, take your fucking weed, yeah? 683 01:10:39,029 --> 01:10:40,326 Hola! 684 01:10:40,328 --> 01:10:42,293 Holy fuck! 685 01:10:42,295 --> 01:10:44,393 What the fuck? What are you doing in my house? 686 01:10:44,395 --> 01:10:45,660 Fuck you! 687 01:10:45,662 --> 01:10:47,426 You didn't give me anywhere else to go. 688 01:10:47,428 --> 01:10:48,461 Who the fuck are you? 689 01:10:48,463 --> 01:10:50,494 Mister Flash Bastard! 690 01:10:50,496 --> 01:10:52,293 Mister Wheeler Dealer! 691 01:10:52,295 --> 01:10:53,927 Fucking crazy-boy! 692 01:10:53,929 --> 01:10:55,497 Get out of my fucking house! 693 01:10:56,562 --> 01:10:59,063 Come on. Make your fucking move! 694 01:11:01,529 --> 01:11:03,628 I'll snap your fucking neck. 695 01:11:03,630 --> 01:11:04,960 Oh, please, man, please. 696 01:11:04,962 --> 01:11:07,262 We can sort something out. We don't have to do this. 697 01:11:08,362 --> 01:11:10,262 I got some cash. I can give you some money. 698 01:11:11,296 --> 01:11:13,394 Money. Of course. 699 01:11:13,396 --> 01:11:15,663 Money? Fuck you! 700 01:11:16,363 --> 01:11:17,630 Sit down! 701 01:11:28,629 --> 01:11:31,697 Probably don't remember my girlfriend. 702 01:11:34,462 --> 01:11:36,293 Well... 703 01:11:36,295 --> 01:11:37,730 she lost her baby. 704 01:11:40,429 --> 01:11:42,096 She lost the baby, anyway. 705 01:11:44,995 --> 01:11:47,028 And I lost her. 706 01:11:48,028 --> 01:11:49,629 Court. 707 01:11:52,961 --> 01:11:55,962 I lost both, both of them. 708 01:12:00,828 --> 01:12:03,028 They do say it's stressful... 709 01:12:04,729 --> 01:12:06,962 losing your home. 710 01:12:12,962 --> 01:12:15,730 Man, I was just doing my job. 711 01:12:16,962 --> 01:12:19,026 They tell us to do that stuff. 712 01:12:19,028 --> 01:12:21,727 Wait it out for the highest offer. 713 01:12:21,729 --> 01:12:23,996 'Cause I'm a victim of it just as much as you are. 714 01:12:32,828 --> 01:12:35,260 H-Hey now, come on. 715 01:12:35,262 --> 01:12:37,162 Hey, now, you ain't gonna do this, man! 716 01:12:59,363 --> 01:13:03,361 ♪ City bird, city bird ♪ 717 01:13:04,829 --> 01:13:08,760 ♪ Fly away from my window ♪ 718 01:13:08,762 --> 01:13:12,526 ♪ From my window ♪ 719 01:13:12,528 --> 01:13:15,960 ♪ 'Cause you don't sing ♪ 720 01:13:15,962 --> 01:13:19,597 ♪ Like the birds from home sing ♪ 721 01:13:20,462 --> 01:13:24,096 ♪ Your song is dying ♪ 722 01:13:25,529 --> 01:13:29,559 ♪ I set the table for the ghosts in my home ♪ 723 01:13:29,561 --> 01:13:32,727 ♪ My home ♪ 724 01:13:32,729 --> 01:13:34,892 ♪ And pour the wine and raise a glass ♪ 725 01:13:34,894 --> 01:13:38,062 ♪ For the guests in my home ♪ 726 01:13:40,894 --> 01:13:45,293 ♪ They're entering in their skin and in their bones ♪ 727 01:13:45,295 --> 01:13:48,361 ♪ Still in their bones ♪ 728 01:13:48,363 --> 01:13:50,626 ♪ The vision scares but none compares ♪ 729 01:13:50,628 --> 01:13:53,762 ♪ To the dread of drinking alone ♪ 730 01:13:57,263 --> 01:14:01,260 ♪ After the tower's turned ♪ 731 01:14:01,262 --> 01:14:04,496 ♪ To a tomb ♪ 732 01:14:05,595 --> 01:14:06,959 ♪ The underworld ♪ 733 01:14:06,961 --> 01:14:08,426 Goodbye, my friends. 734 01:14:08,428 --> 01:14:14,426 ♪ Refugees all were refused by the banker ♪ 735 01:14:14,428 --> 01:14:16,796 ♪ They could never go in ♪ 736 01:14:17,762 --> 01:14:21,293 ♪ So I let them in ♪ 737 01:14:21,295 --> 01:14:24,560 ♪ I light the candle ♪ 738 01:14:24,562 --> 01:14:26,727 ♪ For the ghosts in my home ♪ 739 01:14:26,729 --> 01:14:28,962 ♪ My home ♪ 740 01:14:29,961 --> 01:14:32,361 ♪ And say a prayer to please send care ♪ 741 01:14:32,363 --> 01:14:35,530 ♪ For the guests in my home ♪ 742 01:14:37,996 --> 01:14:40,960 ♪ But in their sleep they claw and scream ♪ 743 01:14:40,962 --> 01:14:42,361 ♪ The devil home ♪ 744 01:14:42,363 --> 01:14:45,361 ♪ The devil's come home ♪ 745 01:14:45,363 --> 01:14:47,726 ♪ But that nightmare does not compare ♪ 746 01:14:47,728 --> 01:14:51,063 ♪ To the demons in sleeping alone ♪ 747 01:14:54,494 --> 01:14:58,593 ♪ After the tower is turned ♪ 748 01:14:58,595 --> 01:15:02,859 ♪ To a tomb ♪ 749 01:15:02,861 --> 01:15:07,460 ♪ The underworld refugees all... ♪ 750 01:15:07,462 --> 01:15:09,459 Hello, Mum. 751 01:15:09,461 --> 01:15:11,492 Yeah, listen to me, yeah? Listen to me carefully. 752 01:15:11,494 --> 01:15:12,692 I need your help. 753 01:15:12,694 --> 01:15:14,360 Can you get Imran please? 754 01:15:14,362 --> 01:15:17,028 Tell him to come to my house... ASAP. 755 01:15:17,795 --> 01:15:20,196 Yeah. No, it's an emergency. 756 01:15:22,263 --> 01:15:23,926 I-I'm... 757 01:15:23,928 --> 01:15:26,592 Basically, some old, crazy man 758 01:15:26,594 --> 01:15:28,496 has stuck me in a freezer. 759 01:15:30,029 --> 01:15:32,530 It's in the hallway. Why does that even matter? 760 01:15:33,494 --> 01:15:35,696 Yeah, can you just tell him to come quick. 761 01:15:37,729 --> 01:15:40,026 Yeah, I'll explain more la... 762 01:15:40,028 --> 01:15:41,728 No. 763 01:15:42,761 --> 01:15:45,229 This has not got nothing to do with sex. 764 01:15:46,695 --> 01:15:48,029 Yes, Mum. 765 01:15:48,929 --> 01:15:51,027 Hello? Hello? 766 01:15:51,029 --> 01:15:53,562 Mum? Mum? 767 01:15:54,395 --> 01:15:55,762 Mum? 768 01:16:50,461 --> 01:16:52,261 As far back as I can remember, 769 01:16:52,263 --> 01:16:54,230 I always wanted to be an estate agent. 770 01:16:56,362 --> 01:16:57,993 All right, calm down. 771 01:16:57,995 --> 01:16:59,526 That was a little lie. 772 01:16:59,528 --> 01:17:01,426 A fake statement. 773 01:17:01,428 --> 01:17:03,727 I got no qualifications, no experience, 774 01:17:03,729 --> 01:17:06,460 no license, nor training. 775 01:17:06,462 --> 01:17:08,626 I answered an ad in a job site saying. 776 01:17:08,628 --> 01:17:12,360 "Spineless and love negotiating?" 777 01:17:12,362 --> 01:17:13,459 At least I'm not like them. 778 01:17:13,461 --> 01:17:15,425 "Home Under the Hammer" spanners. 779 01:17:15,427 --> 01:17:17,692 Once the property is completed, I advise 780 01:17:17,694 --> 01:17:21,425 shut the fuck up, you bunch of wankers. 781 01:17:21,427 --> 01:17:24,993 I spray a can of Brut over my 60 percent polyester suit. 782 01:17:24,995 --> 01:17:26,627 I spit shine my shoes. 783 01:17:26,629 --> 01:17:30,692 "Yes, Mrs. Brown. I'll meet you outside at noon." 784 01:17:30,694 --> 01:17:32,592 See, to my face, people call me Hussein. 785 01:17:32,594 --> 01:17:36,026 Behind my back, "Saddam, pak rat, Taliban." 786 01:17:36,028 --> 01:17:38,262 Some even think Gandhi's my name. 787 01:17:38,995 --> 01:17:40,927 I know I'm not Indian. 788 01:17:40,929 --> 01:17:42,194 But we're still all the same. 789 01:17:42,196 --> 01:17:46,561 This race-based hate can raise the strain and take the piss. 790 01:17:46,562 --> 01:17:48,727 You think I'm a cabbie? 791 01:17:48,729 --> 01:17:50,993 A corner shop Ali, serving curry? 792 01:17:52,828 --> 01:17:56,293 As if. I'm an estate agent. A great agent. 793 01:17:56,294 --> 01:17:59,892 I make payments. And if there's a new space vacant, I'm chain breaking. 794 01:17:59,895 --> 01:18:04,393 I could give a fuck if I sold you a lame, stained basement. 795 01:18:04,395 --> 01:18:06,926 I mean, you viewed it, right? 796 01:18:08,794 --> 01:18:12,195 I remember this one story about this one don. 797 01:18:12,961 --> 01:18:14,993 I think his name was John. 798 01:18:14,995 --> 01:18:17,827 He put a house on the offer, for a mansion. 799 01:18:17,829 --> 01:18:20,459 Oh! I thought the lot was on. 800 01:18:20,461 --> 01:18:22,460 But my commission was rotten. 801 01:18:22,462 --> 01:18:24,793 He wanted this place so bad. 802 01:18:24,795 --> 01:18:26,993 I decided to bend and break. 803 01:18:26,995 --> 01:18:29,793 "Yeah, mate, I'll ring the vendor, and I'll negotiate." 804 01:18:29,795 --> 01:18:32,292 That's how I fucked him over. 805 01:18:32,294 --> 01:18:34,493 And that's the money that paid for my holiday. 806 01:18:34,495 --> 01:18:37,927 So what if a client outbid himself in the end? 807 01:18:37,929 --> 01:18:40,460 We're not relatives, acquaintances, 808 01:18:40,462 --> 01:18:41,995 or personal friends. 809 01:18:42,694 --> 01:18:44,525 The more you zoom in... 810 01:18:44,527 --> 01:18:45,859 the less we all count. 811 01:18:45,861 --> 01:18:48,792 It's like we're all rats, ants, and parasites. 812 01:18:48,794 --> 01:18:50,259 All crawling around. 813 01:18:50,261 --> 01:18:52,360 It's a vicious cycle. 814 01:18:52,362 --> 01:18:54,460 We signed our lives to a trap. 815 01:18:54,462 --> 01:18:56,529 They say, karma can't harm ya... 816 01:18:57,262 --> 01:18:58,791 if it can't catch up. 817 01:18:58,794 --> 01:19:01,629 So run fast towards the darkness 818 01:19:02,361 --> 01:19:05,629 in hope... not trust. 819 01:19:05,959 --> 01:19:10,959 Subtitles by explosiveskull 57091

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