Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,399 --> 00:00:05,479
Like, I keep trying to fit the parts
into the parts, and they're both
2
00:00:05,519 --> 00:00:07,319
too many parts and not enough parts.
3
00:00:07,360 --> 00:00:10,480
And I'm highly aware that I keep
saying the word "parts".
4
00:00:10,519 --> 00:00:12,359
We've tried.... every way.
5
00:00:12,400 --> 00:00:14,560
That... does not fit into that.
6
00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:16,760
Yeah. Mm-hm.
7
00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:18,480
We should probably start calling
"that"...
8
00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:19,999
Olivia. (gurgle)
9
00:00:20,039 --> 00:00:23,479
I could swear there's way more male
buttons than female buttons.
10
00:00:23,519 --> 00:00:25,439
Well, that's the bloody patriarchy
for ya! Yeah.
11
00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:27,560
I'd like a woke Babygro please!
12
00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:29,360
We have to stop stressing!
13
00:00:29,399 --> 00:00:32,559
Today... (gurgle) I am going to find
the joy of being in the now
14
00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:34,760
with a baby called Olivia!
Mm!
15
00:00:34,799 --> 00:00:36,279
Not everything fits,
16
00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:38,320
but everything works.
17
00:00:38,359 --> 00:00:40,359
Ta da!
18
00:00:41,479 --> 00:00:43,559
(farting, burbling, crying)
19
00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:46,000
(gags)
20
00:00:46,039 --> 00:00:48,039
Did you have to do that?
21
00:00:48,159 --> 00:00:50,159
# (music)
22
00:00:55,320 --> 00:00:57,320
Hiya!
23
00:00:59,719 --> 00:01:01,719
Oh my God!
24
00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:04,160
Cute baby, Joy!
25
00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:06,000
# (Satanic choral music)
26
00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:07,920
Thank you!
27
00:01:07,959 --> 00:01:09,319
I mean... it's not yours,
28
00:01:09,359 --> 00:01:11,559
but by all means gobble up the
compliment!
29
00:01:11,599 --> 00:01:13,919
Yeah, I'm helping out a friend who's
working on her marriage,
30
00:01:13,959 --> 00:01:16,159
she's gone away with her husband
today to talk things through,
31
00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:18,080
and hopefully they'll have all the
problems ironed out
32
00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:20,040
before close of business today.
33
00:01:20,079 --> 00:01:22,999
My parents are always telling me
that I'm the reason they broke up?
34
00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:24,520
Which is nice. Aw.
35
00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:26,440
Are you trying to to the same thing?
36
00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:27,800
Aw, honey...
37
00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:30,520
She won't be able to answer you,
she's a baby.
38
00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:32,720
I know, Joy. It was rhetorical.
39
00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:36,560
Ooh, somebody swallowed a dictionary!
(laughs)
40
00:01:36,799 --> 00:01:37,959
Don't come any closer, Joy!
41
00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:39,880
# (Satanic choral music)
42
00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:41,920
I find babies massively
intimidating.
43
00:01:41,959 --> 00:01:43,399
Ha ha!
44
00:01:43,439 --> 00:01:45,439
Heard the baby talk, Joy!
45
00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:47,080
And just so you know...
46
00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:48,760
if she gets hungry or anything...
47
00:01:48,799 --> 00:01:49,759
you know, you can...
48
00:01:49,799 --> 00:01:52,239
Don't feed the baby fig rolls,
I know!
49
00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:53,920
Ha ha ha! No, I meant...
50
00:01:53,959 --> 00:01:55,959
You know, happy to help out!
51
00:01:58,120 --> 00:01:59,440
I meant to stop myself ages ago, but
52
00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:01,200
here I am! Mum of two!
53
00:02:01,239 --> 00:02:04,319
Sorry, are you suggesting that you
would...
54
00:02:04,519 --> 00:02:06,519
take... What?
55
00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:08,360
That's just disgusting!
That's just disgusting!
56
00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:10,040
That is disgusting!
That is disgusting!
57
00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:11,480
That's disgusting!
That's disgusting!
58
00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:13,360
I meant I would hold the baby, Joy.
59
00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:14,920
Yeah, and I have formula, Karen.
60
00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:15,920
Good.
61
00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:17,960
Use it.
62
00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:22,520
I used to hate babies too, Phillip!
63
00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:24,440
Never said I hated them, Joy.
64
00:02:24,479 --> 00:02:28,159
But they change you. You change.
I can't explain it!
65
00:02:28,319 --> 00:02:29,999
Joy, it's not your baby!
66
00:02:30,039 --> 00:02:31,399
I used to think they were
quite gross,
67
00:02:31,439 --> 00:02:33,079
but they're quite good, aren't they?
68
00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:34,160
Once you can hand them back!
69
00:02:34,199 --> 00:02:36,199
(laughs) Totally!
70
00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:38,520
OK, em, let's get down to business.
71
00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:39,680
So this week was good!
72
00:02:39,719 --> 00:02:40,959
It was, em...
73
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:41,760
funny!
74
00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:44,680
You know the whole hashtag volcel
thing blew up, which was...
75
00:02:44,719 --> 00:02:46,279
quite a surprise,
to all of us here...
76
00:02:46,319 --> 00:02:47,879
And then the snogging in the chipper
thing
77
00:02:47,919 --> 00:02:49,839
was a fun pivot away from that...
78
00:02:49,879 --> 00:02:52,519
You know, a nice development in the
ongoing quest for happiness.
79
00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:54,560
Thank you. Super-planned.
80
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,760
OK, well, if you could let us in on
those plans in the future,
81
00:02:57,800 --> 00:02:59,280
because we're a team here?
82
00:02:59,319 --> 00:02:59,879
Gotcha.
83
00:02:59,919 --> 00:03:01,239
And I do think that we can bag
84
00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:05,960
a permanent sponsor if we continue
to carve out our niche uniquely.
85
00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:09,840
Unique-ness.
86
00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:13,160
Yes, I've been watching Flora,
and loads of other unique people,
87
00:03:13,199 --> 00:03:15,439
and I wanna be exactly like them!
88
00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:19,000
Today, I'm gonna find the joy
of parenting,
89
00:03:19,039 --> 00:03:21,199
with this little munchkin-head.
90
00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:23,040
I think a lot of parents, like me...
91
00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:24,760
Joy, there are no parents like you.
92
00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:25,800
Maybe there's not many,
93
00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:27,480
but there's some.
94
00:03:27,520 --> 00:03:30,320
Stan? I think, if I can get parents
to be at one with their children,
95
00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:34,600
the whole joy of parenting is just
gonna flow more naturally!
96
00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:38,080
Do you know what? I'm gonna do bullet
points for Trish, when I'm done.
97
00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:41,360
Do you know one thing that I have
learnt from being a parent?
98
00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:44,200
Having been a parent to a baby
that's not yours?
99
00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:46,680
It's just, you know... A baby that
you've basically had for an hour...
100
00:03:46,719 --> 00:03:48,159
I think that, it's just like... and
has been asleep for the majority...
101
00:03:48,199 --> 00:03:49,759
y'know, you get so caught up... of
the time from what I can see?
102
00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:51,600
with "where's the time for me?"
No, I don't think so, I think
103
00:03:51,639 --> 00:03:53,279
she's been in the pram, I think...
"How do I fit her into my life?"
104
00:03:53,319 --> 00:03:56,079
Knock knock in there, you're missing
everything! I think maybe we just
105
00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:57,640
need to take a moment? Have a cup of
tea, and... Just slow down and...
106
00:03:57,680 --> 00:04:00,600
relax! You know?
They grow up so quickly!
107
00:04:01,159 --> 00:04:03,159
Stan, they grow up so fast!
108
00:04:05,919 --> 00:04:07,679
Alright.
109
00:04:07,719 --> 00:04:09,719
# (music)
110
00:04:12,319 --> 00:04:13,999
Honest quezzie?
Shoot.
111
00:04:14,039 --> 00:04:17,879
Are you worried about seeming...
112
00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:19,760
patronising and insane?
113
00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:21,800
No! Next quezzie?
114
00:04:22,319 --> 00:04:23,839
No further quezzies!
115
00:04:23,879 --> 00:04:25,039
Perfect!
116
00:04:25,079 --> 00:04:27,079
Aw!
117
00:04:28,639 --> 00:04:29,919
Joy...
118
00:04:29,959 --> 00:04:31,959
# (music)
119
00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:41,120
Roughly how long are you gonna be
asleep for?
120
00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:45,280
(knocks)
Knock knock? Who's there!
121
00:04:45,399 --> 00:04:48,799
I don't get who you're playing
today, eh, working mum
122
00:04:48,839 --> 00:04:51,759
struggling to keep her work-life
balance in check?
123
00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:52,880
Yes.
124
00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:54,280
For literally one day.
125
00:04:54,319 --> 00:04:56,319
One whole day.
126
00:04:56,399 --> 00:04:59,159
OK, I was just wondering because my
mum was a single mum, and...
127
00:04:59,199 --> 00:05:01,399
she raised me for more than one day,
and it was hard.
128
00:05:01,439 --> 00:05:02,479
Mm-hm, mm-hm.
129
00:05:02,519 --> 00:05:04,839
It was really hard.
Mm-hm, mm-hm. I know.
130
00:05:04,879 --> 00:05:07,519
All mums have their journeys, Stan
but (sighs)...
131
00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:09,120
don't worry, I'm pretty Zen!
132
00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:11,520
Yeah, I'm... I'm not really worried
about how you'll get on...
133
00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:15,720
for literally one day...
I appreciate your concern, Stan.
134
00:05:15,759 --> 00:05:18,359
Christie was exactly the same.
She was like "Joy!"
135
00:05:18,399 --> 00:05:21,119
And I was like "I know!"
You know what she's like!
136
00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:24,600
But I dunno! Olivia's so chill when
she's around me!
137
00:05:24,639 --> 00:05:27,359
Now you're chill!
I think she just gets my chill,
138
00:05:27,399 --> 00:05:29,719
transmitted to her, or whatever.
139
00:05:29,879 --> 00:05:31,879
OK.
140
00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:38,360
Still asleep.
141
00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:42,600
Do you know that some babies start
singing before they start talking?
142
00:05:42,639 --> 00:05:44,559
Really? Yeah, I know this.
143
00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:46,600
I read it on the internet.
144
00:05:46,759 --> 00:05:48,759
# (music)
145
00:05:49,199 --> 00:05:50,679
I'm here instead of Trish,
146
00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:52,200
and this is baby Olivia?
147
00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:54,480
No problem at all, you just sign in
there, thank you.
148
00:05:54,519 --> 00:05:57,039
Oh! And we'll give Olivia a sticker.
149
00:05:57,560 --> 00:05:59,560
Stickers!
150
00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:01,480
So cute! Ah ha.
151
00:06:01,519 --> 00:06:03,519
Do you know, if you learn the
tambourine early,
152
00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:05,760
you'll be good at science
and biz org?
153
00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:07,800
Hm!
154
00:06:09,279 --> 00:06:11,279
Tambourine time!
155
00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:14,480
(babies cooing and crying)
156
00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:19,560
(door closes)
157
00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:23,600
Welcome, everybody!
158
00:06:24,199 --> 00:06:27,039
Excuse me, you can't film
in this space.
159
00:06:27,399 --> 00:06:28,399
OK, cool.
160
00:06:28,439 --> 00:06:31,479
So we're about to begin, if you'd
just like to take a seat?
161
00:06:31,519 --> 00:06:32,359
I don't have a baby.
162
00:06:32,399 --> 00:06:33,799
Take a seat. But I don't...
163
00:06:33,839 --> 00:06:34,999
Take a seat!
164
00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:36,360
Yeah.
165
00:06:36,399 --> 00:06:38,399
(babies cooing and crying)
166
00:06:44,079 --> 00:06:46,719
Oh, Shauna's a right bruiser,
isn't she?
167
00:06:46,759 --> 00:06:48,199
Very large head.
168
00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:50,840
I'm sure that was sore enough for
you.
169
00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:54,560
Emily's lovely and hairy, isn't she?
170
00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:57,320
Well, I guess that makes sense,
'cause so are you...
171
00:06:57,360 --> 00:06:59,000
Eh... I mean you've both got...
172
00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:01,040
lovely hair on your head.
173
00:07:01,279 --> 00:07:02,119
This little one
174
00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:04,760
has got a bald patch at the back from
rubbing her head so much,
175
00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:08,640
but it'll grow back. We can always
throw in a few extensions.
176
00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:09,760
She's the image of you.
177
00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:12,960
Oh no, that's not possible,
because... sh...
178
00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:16,840
I've got longer hair than she does,
and her...
179
00:07:17,519 --> 00:07:19,519
nose is... squashier.
180
00:07:21,319 --> 00:07:23,359
But they all look the same at this
age anyway, don't they?
181
00:07:23,399 --> 00:07:27,479
Hope I don't take the wrong one home
with me today! (laughs)
182
00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:29,960
But yeah!
I guess she does look like me.
183
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:34,400
'Cause after all, I did... push her
right out of me! Human Aidan!
184
00:07:35,199 --> 00:07:37,199
Hey, Joy.
185
00:07:37,839 --> 00:07:39,839
(swoop)
186
00:07:40,399 --> 00:07:41,999
# (music)
187
00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:44,040
(swoop)
188
00:07:45,519 --> 00:07:47,519
You have a baby!
189
00:07:47,839 --> 00:07:49,599
So do you!
190
00:07:49,639 --> 00:07:51,079
I do.
191
00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:52,920
(shouts) Isn't it something?
192
00:07:52,959 --> 00:07:54,039
(shouts) Isn't it!
193
00:07:54,079 --> 00:07:55,639
Is this your first time?
194
00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:57,960
First time, yeah, tambourine time,
yay!
195
00:07:58,000 --> 00:07:59,360
Yeah, it's lots of fun!
196
00:07:59,399 --> 00:08:00,799
Isn't it fun?
197
00:08:00,839 --> 00:08:02,479
Isn't it just the most fun ever?
198
00:08:02,519 --> 00:08:03,599
Yeah!
199
00:08:03,639 --> 00:08:06,119
OK, everyone,
let's pick up our tambourines,
200
00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:07,360
and shake!
201
00:08:07,399 --> 00:08:09,159
Let's try to connect with each
other,
202
00:08:09,199 --> 00:08:12,479
and our babies, through the music.
203
00:08:12,519 --> 00:08:14,199
It can be lonely out there,
204
00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:15,920
as a solo artist.
205
00:08:15,959 --> 00:08:18,039
And...
(shakes tambourine)
206
00:08:18,079 --> 00:08:19,679
Shake 'em!
207
00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:22,560
(babies crying,
tambourines shaking)
208
00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:25,960
Yay!
209
00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:27,760
Baby!
210
00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:28,600
(swoop)
211
00:08:28,639 --> 00:08:30,439
Five... four...
Five... four...
212
00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:32,480
(slap) My wee's on there!
213
00:08:32,519 --> 00:08:34,519
Two... one!
One!
214
00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:41,120
(sighs) It's a no!
215
00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:44,200
(laughs) It's a no!
216
00:08:44,559 --> 00:08:46,159
(sighs)
217
00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:48,360
It's no! Yeah, yeah,
I heard you the first time.
218
00:08:48,399 --> 00:08:50,399
It's no.
(swoop)
219
00:08:50,559 --> 00:08:53,959
# (music, babies crying,
tambourines shaking)
220
00:08:58,080 --> 00:09:00,080
# (music)
221
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,960
Joy! Joy!
222
00:09:06,840 --> 00:09:09,920
I can't actually believe I'm seeing
you, and you've got a baby!
223
00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:12,280
Congratulations!
Yes, exactly!
224
00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:14,000
I mean...
she's gorgeous, how old is she?
225
00:09:14,039 --> 00:09:17,639
Oh! Eh, she's... a year!
Or whatever, give or take.
226
00:09:17,919 --> 00:09:19,759
A... a y...
227
00:09:19,799 --> 00:09:24,639
Em.... Och, she's a year, minus...
seven months...
228
00:09:24,679 --> 00:09:26,799
carry the one...
em, add all the days...
229
00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:28,720
minus all the days, you know the way
you work it out like that?
230
00:09:28,759 --> 00:09:30,479
So she's three months!
231
00:09:30,519 --> 00:09:33,759
But I'm not a slave to the calendar,
Aidan, that's not my jam.
232
00:09:33,799 --> 00:09:37,719
God, wow, well, I mean... she's...
big for three months!
233
00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:40,440
Well, I'm not into body-shaming
babies, Aidan.
234
00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:42,360
Oh no, it's just, like, she's got,
like, all of her teeth!
235
00:09:42,399 --> 00:09:44,479
Well, she's very advanced!
What's your point, caller?
236
00:09:44,519 --> 00:09:47,599
Aaah! But anyway, enough about us!
Yours is nice!
237
00:09:47,639 --> 00:09:49,639
Yeah. Yeah, she's amazing!
238
00:09:49,799 --> 00:09:51,079
We're thrilled!
239
00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:52,320
We?
240
00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:55,600
Yeah, so I needed, like,
another party? To...
241
00:09:55,759 --> 00:09:57,759
Oh, I know all about that!
242
00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:00,120
Yeah, me and Sarah.
243
00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:02,760
Told you!
244
00:10:02,799 --> 00:10:05,159
I told you you guys should be
together! Told ya!
245
00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:07,880
(laughs) Sickened! Sickened, Aidan!
246
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:09,640
Sickened!
247
00:10:09,679 --> 00:10:10,879
Actually, it wasn't long after...
248
00:10:10,919 --> 00:10:12,679
I don't need to know.
249
00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:14,680
I know how babies are made!
250
00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:16,000
Woo!
Ha.
251
00:10:16,039 --> 00:10:17,839
Sure didn't I make one myself,
with...
252
00:10:17,879 --> 00:10:18,559
With?
253
00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:20,600
With...
254
00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:24,120
This really, really, really, really,
255
00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:26,480
oh! Really beautiful...
256
00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:29,640
Australian yoga stunner, with...
257
00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:31,440
tiny pores.
258
00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:34,720
So I'm not exactly sweatin' in here,
mister...
259
00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:38,040
And he's an Aries!
260
00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:39,840
He's an Aries!
261
00:10:39,879 --> 00:10:41,719
An Aries!
262
00:10:41,759 --> 00:10:43,759
Wow. Yeah.
263
00:10:44,559 --> 00:10:46,559
I know.
264
00:10:47,879 --> 00:10:50,079
I've to go. We have to go, don't we,
Olivia? Don't we, Stan?
265
00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:54,360
Don't we, everyone? Yes, we do,
that's right. Goodbye Aidan!
266
00:10:56,399 --> 00:10:58,399
Oh, Joy!
267
00:10:58,480 --> 00:10:59,280
Joy...
268
00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:00,560
Sorry... eh...
269
00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:02,600
Ooh! Coo-ee!
270
00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:06,520
Ah! Keep meaning to set up Deliveroo
for this one!
271
00:11:07,480 --> 00:11:09,320
Yeah.
272
00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:11,360
So, em... look...
273
00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:13,040
I mean,
I haven't seen you in a year,
274
00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:14,440
do you wanna go and get a cup of tea
or something?
275
00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:18,160
Oh, I'd love to, but I really don't
want to, so I can't.
276
00:11:21,440 --> 00:11:22,760
I mean...
277
00:11:22,799 --> 00:11:27,039
Ju... I don't drink tea, any more,
after 11 AM, I'm so sorry...
278
00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:28,440
That's cool...
279
00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:31,560
I mean, we can go get a glass of
milk, or a Pepsi?
280
00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:33,280
Yeah, I just...
281
00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:35,200
Thank you, but I... I...
I'm really busy,
282
00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:37,520
I have a lot of things to do this
afternoon.
283
00:11:37,559 --> 00:11:39,279
Cool.
284
00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:43,880
What are you doing?
Will. I'm gonna do him.
285
00:11:43,919 --> 00:11:46,719
Will is my baby-daddy, that's his
name, and...
286
00:11:46,759 --> 00:11:52,679
I have plans to... meet him and...
do him.
287
00:11:52,759 --> 00:11:53,679
OK.
288
00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:55,880
Well, that's.... impressive.
289
00:11:55,919 --> 00:11:57,999
Seeing as you're baby's only three
months old, and
290
00:11:58,039 --> 00:12:00,359
has this massive head, so like...
291
00:12:00,639 --> 00:12:01,879
good on ya!
292
00:12:01,919 --> 00:12:04,159
Well, I.... snapped right back!
293
00:12:04,519 --> 00:12:06,159
(clop)
294
00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:12,040
So... which way are you and, eh...
Mr Aries guy headed?
295
00:12:12,080 --> 00:12:14,000
Yeah, gonna meet him...
296
00:12:14,039 --> 00:12:15,879
I guess, all around here....
297
00:12:15,919 --> 00:12:18,159
and then we're gonna... here...
298
00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:23,720
Wanna go back inside and maybe have
a cup of not-tea? Or water?
299
00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:30,640
# (music) Stan, I better go and
help this guy out.
300
00:12:31,039 --> 00:12:33,039
Nice buggy, by the way.
301
00:12:34,919 --> 00:12:36,799
Suits you, the buggy.
Thanks.
302
00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:38,840
So is Sarah quite large now?
303
00:12:38,919 --> 00:12:40,919
No, no, not at all...
304
00:12:41,559 --> 00:12:43,559
# (music)
305
00:12:55,559 --> 00:12:56,679
(swoop)
306
00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:58,720
(sighs)
Oh!
307
00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:01,280
Hey, how about I just threw
everything off course here
308
00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:05,040
for a second, and... told you I was
falling in love with you?
309
00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:06,120
(swoop)
310
00:13:06,159 --> 00:13:08,559
Stay positive and keep it real,
remember?
311
00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:10,120
It's all chill with Will!
312
00:13:10,159 --> 00:13:11,399
Stay there!
313
00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:13,440
(chair scrapes)
314
00:13:14,559 --> 00:13:16,559
(clatter)
315
00:13:16,799 --> 00:13:18,599
For some crazy reason that guy
over there
316
00:13:18,639 --> 00:13:21,399
thinks that I'm the baby's mum and
you're the dad!
317
00:13:21,440 --> 00:13:23,360
Bonkers, some people are so weird!
318
00:13:23,399 --> 00:13:24,119
Get fucked!
319
00:13:24,159 --> 00:13:27,159
And do you know what else is really
chill and not bonkers at all?
320
00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:29,920
You playing along with it, and me
explaining it all to you later?
321
00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:32,160
Does that sound namaste, is that
chill with Will? No!
322
00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:34,560
You can't pretend to be the mother
of someone else's child, Joy!
323
00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:35,560
That's too much!
324
00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:37,800
Please! Please! I just need to get
through the next half an hour, Will,
325
00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:40,400
please, please, please, please!
This is gonna screw with my karma!
326
00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:42,440
Please, Will!
It's insane!
327
00:13:42,519 --> 00:13:46,079
Labels, Will, please!
No! Please. No!
328
00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:49,040
You're not some rabid dingo that can
just run off with a kid!
329
00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:51,840
Exactly! I'm not...
I'm not running off with it forever!
330
00:13:51,879 --> 00:13:54,999
That's what makes me a good dingo,
I bring the baby back!
331
00:13:55,039 --> 00:13:57,079
You're not a dingo, Joy!
Please.
332
00:13:57,120 --> 00:13:58,600
Please, Will! No.
Please. No!
333
00:13:58,639 --> 00:14:01,119
Please, Will, please! Please, let's
be dingoes together! No!
334
00:14:01,159 --> 00:14:02,799
Please, Will, please!
335
00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:04,400
Please please please please!
336
00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:05,800
How many times can I say no?
337
00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:09,120
(gasps) Oh, brilliant!
OK!
338
00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:12,440
(chair scrapes)
339
00:14:12,799 --> 00:14:13,999
This is Human Aidan!
340
00:14:14,039 --> 00:14:16,039
How is my little furry friend?
341
00:14:16,080 --> 00:14:20,320
Well, mate, I'm not gonna lie,
that's... that's kinda harsh.
342
00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:26,200
Oh, no! Sorry... he's talking...
you're talking about Canine Aidan!
343
00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:27,400
The dog!
344
00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:29,080
Yeah. No, he's good!
345
00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:30,320
I think he's completely over you,
346
00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:32,360
which is great...
Oh, OK...
347
00:14:32,559 --> 00:14:35,319
And, eh... who's this little bundle
of fun here?
348
00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:38,520
(laughs hysterically)
Such a funny fucker!
349
00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:40,879
Ha ha ha, keeps it so fresh!
350
00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:43,840
When he does that,
you little gag monster!
351
00:14:43,879 --> 00:14:45,879
Well... congratulations.
352
00:14:46,759 --> 00:14:48,399
Ah! Thanks, mate.
353
00:14:48,440 --> 00:14:52,600
Yeah, I guess 300k subscribers is
quite a lot! (laughs)
354
00:14:52,639 --> 00:14:54,519
(laughs nervously)
355
00:14:54,559 --> 00:14:56,439
No! Phew. For once.
356
00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:58,480
Not my baby.
Ha ha ha.
357
00:15:00,279 --> 00:15:02,079
Will?
358
00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:03,360
Don't look at me, I haven't...
359
00:15:03,399 --> 00:15:05,839
had an accident, haven't done that
in years!
360
00:15:05,879 --> 00:15:07,159
No, your... we... Will...
361
00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:09,200
will you change the baby?
362
00:15:09,559 --> 00:15:11,559
Not part of the deal.
363
00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:16,320
(whispers) Play the daddy!
364
00:15:16,360 --> 00:15:18,360
(phone rings)
365
00:15:20,759 --> 00:15:22,759
(baby cries)
366
00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:27,480
Oh, gotta go. OK, honey...
367
00:15:27,759 --> 00:15:28,879
(whispers)
Be the daddy, be the daddy!
368
00:15:28,919 --> 00:15:30,879
You... was it.. one...
369
00:15:30,919 --> 00:15:32,919
(baby cries)
370
00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:36,080
# (Satanic choral music)
371
00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:37,120
(Trish's voice) Hi Joy!
372
00:15:37,159 --> 00:15:37,999
Hi!
373
00:15:38,039 --> 00:15:41,039
Just checking in, hope everything's
OK with Olivia.
374
00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:43,320
Yeah! Olivia's in safe hands!
(baby cries)
375
00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:45,280
She's in the safest hands!
376
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:47,320
Eh.... OK, bye!
377
00:15:49,519 --> 00:15:51,279
Oh!
378
00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:53,320
Honey... Honey-face...
379
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:58,200
Em... could you go and change...
our baby's bum?
380
00:15:58,240 --> 00:15:59,920
Oh, gross, no way!
381
00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:01,160
No.
382
00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:03,280
(laughs) He's like a stand-up
comedian, isn't he?
383
00:16:03,319 --> 00:16:06,959
Can you take the baby?
Oh. Sure!
384
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,160
Ha ha ha ha!
385
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:09,800
He's my rock.
386
00:16:09,839 --> 00:16:11,759
He makes me feel like me,
387
00:16:11,799 --> 00:16:13,079
but better.
388
00:16:13,119 --> 00:16:14,279
Yeah, he's great.
389
00:16:14,319 --> 00:16:17,399
Do you know what? Aidan, I actually
really needed a wee anyway, so...
390
00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:20,520
Perfect! Will, I'll get it!
I'll change her!
391
00:16:20,559 --> 00:16:21,919
Will, I'll... I'll take her!
392
00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:23,000
You relax!
393
00:16:23,039 --> 00:16:24,039
He's wrecked!
394
00:16:24,079 --> 00:16:25,119
Poor guy.
395
00:16:25,160 --> 00:16:26,000
Oh!
# (music)
396
00:16:26,039 --> 00:16:28,039
In.. we... pop!
397
00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:30,880
Do you want a hand?
No, no, I've got it.
398
00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:34,160
I'm literally doing this all day and
all night.
399
00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:34,880
Its arm...
400
00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:37,000
No, no, she's grand, her arm goes
that way.
401
00:16:37,039 --> 00:16:38,079
But that one, that arm...
402
00:16:38,119 --> 00:16:41,079
They're all individuals, Aidan, they
all do their own thing.
403
00:16:41,119 --> 00:16:42,119
Gas, aren't they?
404
00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:44,200
You're like a supermom!
Yeah, I am!
405
00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:45,000
Thank you!
406
00:16:45,039 --> 00:16:46,359
Oh, that's stuck there, isn't...?
Yeah, no, it's good,
407
00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:49,760
it's a new buggy that... you're
better off doing it this way with it?
408
00:16:49,799 --> 00:16:50,359
Oh yeah.
409
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:52,840
It's just, it's new technology
with a...(groans)
410
00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:54,880
Just move that table, maybe.
411
00:16:55,039 --> 00:16:56,559
It's cool, I got it!
412
00:16:56,599 --> 00:16:58,439
Yeah! Ah, sure, I'm doing it anyway,
it's fine!
413
00:16:58,480 --> 00:16:59,560
Yeah, I have it.
414
00:16:59,599 --> 00:17:01,599
(grinding)
415
00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:04,560
Got it! Off you pop!
416
00:17:04,599 --> 00:17:05,879
I have that now, yeah!
417
00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:07,080
(baby gurgles)
418
00:17:07,119 --> 00:17:09,719
See you later, supermom!
Thank you!
419
00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:11,720
# (music)
OK, OK.
420
00:17:11,759 --> 00:17:12,959
Shh shh shh!
421
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:15,320
Hello-lo-lo-lo! Dur dur dur dur!
422
00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:17,400
Oh, this is gonna be
423
00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:20,320
absolutely perfect!
Yes, and ducks, and...
424
00:17:20,359 --> 00:17:23,439
(creak)
geese and all the different things
425
00:17:23,599 --> 00:17:25,319
(creak)
(sings) that we have to do with
426
00:17:25,359 --> 00:17:27,079
the nappies!
(creak)
427
00:17:27,119 --> 00:17:28,239
You're being rude!
428
00:17:28,279 --> 00:17:30,279
OK! Now!
429
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:31,680
Now! We just...
430
00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:33,720
Ohhh, we're going!
431
00:17:33,799 --> 00:17:35,279
Ahhh!
432
00:17:35,319 --> 00:17:36,719
Shh shh shh shh!
(baby cries)
433
00:17:36,759 --> 00:17:38,759
Oh my God, you stink!
434
00:17:39,039 --> 00:17:40,439
Oh!
435
00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:41,720
Oh, good God!
436
00:17:41,759 --> 00:17:43,279
(baby cries)
437
00:17:43,319 --> 00:17:44,959
OK, we'll, em...
438
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:46,400
OK, hang on...
439
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:48,320
(sings) Ducks and geese!
440
00:17:48,359 --> 00:17:50,359
(baby cries)
441
00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:52,880
(sings) Oranges, will go...
442
00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:56,000
(gags) What's Trish feeding you?
443
00:17:57,440 --> 00:17:58,600
Oh my God!
444
00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:00,040
Ohhh my God!
445
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:02,079
(baby cries)
446
00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:03,720
Ah!
447
00:18:03,759 --> 00:18:05,839
I think that they... self-stick.
448
00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:07,800
Oh!
449
00:18:07,839 --> 00:18:09,839
(baby cries)
I hear ya!
450
00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:12,400
I hear ya!
451
00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:13,960
I hear ya!
(baby cries)
452
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:15,680
Shh!
453
00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:17,720
(baby cries)
454
00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:22,880
(sings) Everything nice!
455
00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:25,760
You're kidding me!
456
00:18:25,799 --> 00:18:27,799
(baby cries)
457
00:18:29,839 --> 00:18:31,599
Now!
458
00:18:31,640 --> 00:18:32,880
Sorry that took so long!
459
00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:34,480
The flap kept collapsing.
460
00:18:34,519 --> 00:18:38,039
Oh, doctors say that's extremely
common after a natural birth.
461
00:18:38,079 --> 00:18:40,519
(Sigh) Oh, listen, Joy, I'm just
gonna come straight out
462
00:18:40,559 --> 00:18:44,959
and say it, it's just so weird the
way your baby looks like Trish!
463
00:18:48,519 --> 00:18:50,519
Oh my God.
464
00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:53,680
Oh my God, I'm so sorry, Aidan!
# (piano music)
465
00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:56,760
I just thought it would be fun to say
that she was mine,
466
00:18:56,799 --> 00:18:59,639
because I didn't know anybody in the
class, and then all of a sudden...
467
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:01,680
(laughs)
468
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:03,680
You were there.
469
00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:05,720
And you were there.
470
00:19:06,039 --> 00:19:08,039
And I...
471
00:19:08,079 --> 00:19:09,839
It's OK, Joy. I mean...
472
00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:16,600
It makes sense! You're just...
you're not a baby person.
473
00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:19,640
Well, maybe I wasn't a baby person
with you.
474
00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:21,960
# (piano music)
475
00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:25,760
Maybe.
476
00:19:25,799 --> 00:19:27,519
Catch you guys later!
477
00:19:27,559 --> 00:19:29,559
Yeah, maybe.
478
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:35,760
Idea?
479
00:19:35,799 --> 00:19:37,159
Why don't we ditch this baby idiot
480
00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:39,680
and go and make out on O'Connell...
Grafton...
481
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:42,120
other cool Irish things like that?
482
00:19:42,599 --> 00:19:44,839
Will, I'm not ditching the baby.
483
00:19:45,359 --> 00:19:47,359
OK. Well, you know what?
484
00:19:48,119 --> 00:19:49,439
I'm outta here.
485
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:50,680
It's been fun, Joy, it really has,
486
00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:53,120
but I've got some major Irish
landmarks to go and take selfies at
487
00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:55,000
for the fans, and eh...
488
00:19:55,039 --> 00:19:57,919
babies, you know, they're not
part of the brand!
489
00:19:57,960 --> 00:20:00,240
Make every second count,
that's what I say!
490
00:20:00,279 --> 00:20:02,279
Oh, and, eh... that baby?
491
00:20:02,839 --> 00:20:04,679
So negative!
492
00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:05,920
See you later guys, oh, and eh...
493
00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:07,280
don't forget to subscribe!
494
00:20:07,319 --> 00:20:08,279
Yeah, I won't.
495
00:20:08,319 --> 00:20:10,959
Hey, what's up, everyone, so I'm
about to go see some statues!
496
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:13,880
Apparently all the statues in
Ireland move!
497
00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:15,920
He's so funny!
498
00:20:16,039 --> 00:20:17,119
He seems really nice.
499
00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:19,160
He is.
500
00:20:23,759 --> 00:20:27,079
Aidan, I'm really glad things
worked out for you.
501
00:20:27,119 --> 00:20:29,119
# (piano music)
502
00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:31,680
It's good to see you, Joy.
503
00:20:33,519 --> 00:20:35,519
It's good to see you.
504
00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:40,600
Hey!
505
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:42,640
Gotcha!
506
00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:44,680
# (piano music)
507
00:20:49,279 --> 00:20:51,279
Ha ha!
508
00:20:57,839 --> 00:20:59,999
There's a knack to them, deffo!
509
00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:04,960
Easy peasy does it!
510
00:21:05,559 --> 00:21:07,559
(door slams)
511
00:21:08,559 --> 00:21:10,319
This is... nice.
512
00:21:10,359 --> 00:21:11,959
Mm.
513
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:14,240
I've never had a bath with, eh...
514
00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:16,880
a girlfriend, before.
515
00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:18,120
(laughs nervously)
No.
516
00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:20,160
Yeah, deffo, like...
517
00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:22,480
Me neither.
518
00:21:24,319 --> 00:21:26,319
# (music box plays)
519
00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:31,000
(door opens)
I'm here! I'm here!
520
00:21:31,839 --> 00:21:34,359
Oh fuck, how did Olivia get outside?
521
00:21:34,599 --> 00:21:36,759
Trish? Hey! How did it go today?
522
00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:39,280
Joy... the key was in the door!
523
00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:40,440
How long has it been there?
524
00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:42,280
Three? Four? Five hours?
525
00:21:42,319 --> 00:21:44,319
(whispers) Dunno!
526
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:46,480
(sighs) You are amazing.
527
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:49,200
(laughs)
528
00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:50,840
How do you do it?
I dunno how you do it!
529
00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:52,480
I don't think I am doing it!
530
00:21:52,519 --> 00:21:55,519
Girl. You are doing it.
531
00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:58,680
Did you find out that babies
actually aren't that "relaxing"
532
00:21:58,720 --> 00:21:59,680
after all?
533
00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:03,720
Trish, I don't care what anyone says,
parenthood is hard!
534
00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:06,480
Literally everyone says that, Joy!
535
00:22:06,519 --> 00:22:07,439
Do they?
536
00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:09,480
Yeah!
They're right!
537
00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:14,480
# (piano music)
538
00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:16,680
Thank you for today, Joy.
539
00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:18,720
Thank you for trying.
540
00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:23,440
(slapping)
541
00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:27,480
Hm?
542
00:22:28,519 --> 00:22:30,519
So tired!
543
00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:32,680
# (piano music)
544
00:22:35,839 --> 00:22:37,839
(swoop)
545
00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:42,920
(door slams)
546
00:22:43,039 --> 00:22:44,879
Night night, Canine Aidan.
547
00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:47,360
I know you met him today,
but I'm OK,
548
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:49,320
because I know you're OK!
549
00:22:49,359 --> 00:22:51,359
You know, Canine Aidan...
550
00:22:52,279 --> 00:22:54,359
maybe I could be a baby person?
551
00:22:55,519 --> 00:22:57,759
I'm your baby, Joy! You lunatic!
552
00:22:58,440 --> 00:23:00,440
# (music)
553
00:23:02,039 --> 00:23:04,039
Subtitles:
RTE 2020.
554
00:23:28,039 --> 00:23:30,039
.
38352
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof