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1
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== Subs by Sub*Sequenta ==
2
00:00:22,977 --> 00:00:27,060
This is Houston. We're about to lose radio contact.
3
00:00:28,977 --> 00:00:32,811
This is Houston. We're about to lose radio contact.
4
00:00:37,769 --> 00:00:41,811
This is Houston. We're about to lose radio contact.
5
00:00:56,478 --> 00:01:01,395
-Wake up! Wake up!
-What?!
6
00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:05,103
-I can't sleep. -For fuck's sake.
-We've lost communication.
7
00:01:05,186 --> 00:01:08,895
-If I can't communicate with people I love,
what does that mean? -Peace and quiet.
8
00:01:08,978 --> 00:01:10,978
-Do I exist?
-Oh my God.
9
00:01:11,062 --> 00:01:13,603
-Do you believe in God?
-For fuck's sake, what time is it?!
10
00:01:13,687 --> 00:01:17,103
-Are we going to crash into the sun?
-Probably. -Like Icarus.
11
00:01:17,187 --> 00:01:21,770
No, Icarus' downfall was due to
hubris. Excessive pride.
12
00:01:21,854 --> 00:01:24,479
-I wonder what my downfall is?
-Being an dick?
13
00:01:24,562 --> 00:01:27,312
Are you making a video?
14
00:01:29,437 --> 00:01:31,021
No...
15
00:01:31,104 --> 00:01:34,562
I see the laptop
screen. Get to bed.
16
00:01:36,854 --> 00:01:39,646
You looked like death-warmed-up earlier.
17
00:01:41,354 --> 00:01:45,021
Marion, have you looked in the mirror lately?
18
00:01:45,104 --> 00:01:49,729
-Stay out of this, Mom. -There's a
hair on your chin I could swing on!
19
00:02:25,772 --> 00:02:28,772
What are you looking at?
20
00:02:32,481 --> 00:02:34,606
Fucking hell!
21
00:03:06,982 --> 00:03:08,648
Anna!
22
00:03:32,316 --> 00:03:33,774
Get out!
23
00:03:33,857 --> 00:03:36,774
-I'm late!
-I don't care!
24
00:03:36,857 --> 00:03:42,149
-Didn't you use to live in a commune?
-Yes, but we didn't shower together.
25
00:03:42,232 --> 00:03:48,108
-Is it too much to ask to get dressed before you
leave the house? -I haven't left the house.
26
00:03:48,191 --> 00:03:53,524
If you two don't get out of here in
5 seconds I will pull back this curtain.
27
00:03:53,608 --> 00:03:56,566
Oh my god, what is that?!
-Mom!
28
00:03:56,650 --> 00:04:00,191
Five, four.
29
00:04:00,275 --> 00:04:03,108
There is post for you.
-Three.
30
00:04:03,191 --> 00:04:06,191
-I don't care.
-Two.
31
00:04:06,275 --> 00:04:09,525
Can we have a chat about your
birthday tonight? -One!
32
00:04:09,608 --> 00:04:12,733
Oh my God, mom!
33
00:06:01,736 --> 00:06:03,778
Sorry..
34
00:06:07,028 --> 00:06:11,820
-You look like you're lactating.
-You need to be having sex for that.
35
00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:19,195
Is work interfering with
Maggie's sun tan regime?
36
00:06:19,278 --> 00:06:23,570
She called me at half-7 to tell
me about her fungal infection.
37
00:06:23,654 --> 00:06:28,529
-This is not the week for her to be off sick.
-What's with the moles?
38
00:06:28,612 --> 00:06:33,946
They want us to keep a record of
how many new ones come up every day.
39
00:06:34,029 --> 00:06:37,987
Something about old people tripping over them.
40
00:06:38,071 --> 00:06:41,154
Excuse me ladies, I just found this outside.
41
00:06:41,237 --> 00:06:44,279
Sometimes I wish the suffragettes hadn't bothered.
42
00:06:49,321 --> 00:06:52,488
Hello. You're a bit late for work, are you?
43
00:06:54,321 --> 00:06:59,280
My boss is away this week. I've
got the office to myself.
- You lucky git.
44
00:07:01,780 --> 00:07:04,363
I've got something for you.
45
00:07:06,905 --> 00:07:08,863
Shit!
46
00:07:13,155 --> 00:07:16,280
It had arms and a face.
47
00:07:16,363 --> 00:07:22,239
If I sent a photo, you might
think that I just googled it.
48
00:07:22,322 --> 00:07:25,739
But now I'm standing here
holding an old man's dick.
49
00:07:25,822 --> 00:07:28,739
-How's the book going?
-Yeah, it's good.
50
00:07:28,822 --> 00:07:31,114
What's it about again?
51
00:07:31,197 --> 00:07:36,239
It's about a cat who goes away. They wonder
where the cat's gone ...
52
00:07:36,322 --> 00:07:38,781
-Are you the cat?
-No, I'm not the cat.
53
00:07:42,989 --> 00:07:47,156
-Have you been washing up?
-I've got a wet bra on.
54
00:07:48,698 --> 00:07:52,031
I thought you'd been
dipping them in your tea.
55
00:08:43,616 --> 00:08:47,908
-Ladies and gentlemen. Who are we?
56
00:08:47,991 --> 00:08:52,533
Billy and Anna are twins who grew
up in the arse end of nowhere.
57
00:08:52,616 --> 00:08:54,449
Yorkshire, Yorkshire!
58
00:08:54,533 --> 00:08:58,741
They spend their days like any radicals
on the fringe of society would.
59
00:08:58,825 --> 00:09:02,741
Dressing up like TV detectives from the 1970s.
60
00:09:02,825 --> 00:09:05,658
-and imagining they were in the A-Team.
61
00:09:05,741 --> 00:09:09,158
... in 1972 a crack commando unit was
sent to prison ...
62
00:09:09,241 --> 00:09:12,825
It was a happy time. Where dreams
of the future were forged.
63
00:09:12,908 --> 00:09:14,992
As far back as I can remember,
I've always wanted to be ...
64
00:09:18,075 --> 00:09:20,200
As far back as I can remember,
I've always wanted to be ...
65
00:09:22,158 --> 00:09:23,742
You gotta be kidding?
66
00:09:23,825 --> 00:09:25,909
As far back as I can remember,
I've always wanted to ...
67
00:09:29,117 --> 00:09:33,659
After narrowly avoiding being beaten up
their nan explained a painful home truth:
68
00:09:33,742 --> 00:09:37,992
It's a thin line between a
maverick artistic genius
69
00:09:38,076 --> 00:09:40,951
or just some arsehole that
everyone finds annoying.
70
00:09:41,034 --> 00:09:45,951
Astonished by the insight of this advance,
the twins forged a creative vision to help others
71
00:09:46,034 --> 00:09:48,743
-and thus "How To Live!" ...
72
00:09:48,826 --> 00:09:51,118
Stick the kettle up.
73
00:10:07,910 --> 00:10:12,785
Do you know what happened
to the microwave?
74
00:10:12,868 --> 00:10:15,368
Whose is that?
75
00:10:20,868 --> 00:10:24,827
Anna, this is my new hairdresser. Luke.
76
00:10:24,910 --> 00:10:30,077
-She doesn't always look this bedraggled
-I think you look great.
77
00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:35,035
You're clearly blind, Luke. I still have
spots of gray hair as well.
78
00:10:35,827 --> 00:10:41,411
-Don't be like that, don't walk off. He'll give you
a nice haircut. -Brilliant, mum, but I'm busy.
79
00:10:41,494 --> 00:10:44,494
Sorry, Luke. Anna!
80
00:10:52,744 --> 00:10:55,578
-You're being rude.
-I've got work to do!
81
00:10:55,661 --> 00:10:59,870
-What are you busy working on? I hope
you're not making those bloody film videos.
82
00:11:01,453 --> 00:11:07,786
You look like a homeless teenager. You should have a dog
on a piece of string.
-Some men like women who aren't making an effort.
83
00:11:09,578 --> 00:11:13,578
You don't look like you haven't made an effort;
You look like you can't afford to.
84
00:11:13,662 --> 00:11:18,703
You want to have a go at me as well?
What do you think about my hair cut?
85
00:11:18,787 --> 00:11:23,912
It not as bad as the one that is immortalized
in your passport where your gender is in question.
86
00:11:23,995 --> 00:11:29,662
Anna. I'm trying to do something
constructive for your welfare.
87
00:11:29,745 --> 00:11:35,620
-Bon Jovi is still here. -Don't shut
the door. We're not finished!
88
00:11:35,704 --> 00:11:40,162
-Anna. Just come and have a cup of tea.
-I'm working.
89
00:11:47,162 --> 00:11:48,663
Mum!
90
00:11:52,621 --> 00:11:55,371
-Mum. Calm
down, Marion.
91
00:11:55,454 --> 00:11:58,371
Don't tell me to calm down.
It can't go on.
92
00:11:58,454 --> 00:12:01,746
18 months in a shed is too much.
93
00:12:01,830 --> 00:12:04,538
Let's not row now, please.
94
00:12:04,621 --> 00:12:08,538
-You said you'd be out by now.
-I didn't, you decided I would.
95
00:12:08,621 --> 00:12:13,663
-You need to get on with things. You're gonna be 30 next week.
-Getting on with what? Getting a boyfriend?
96
00:12:13,747 --> 00:12:18,580
Well yeah, if it stops you moping around,
making them bloody film videos.
97
00:12:18,663 --> 00:12:21,663
-Well fine. You talk to her.
98
00:12:21,747 --> 00:12:24,914
What your mom is trying to say ...
99
00:12:24,997 --> 00:12:29,747
-It's not normal living in my shed at your age.
-Well you live with your mum and you're well old.
100
00:12:29,830 --> 00:12:33,455
She just means it's time you
started doing things again.
101
00:12:33,539 --> 00:12:37,372
-You can move into the house.
-No. I'm not doing that.
102
00:12:37,456 --> 00:12:42,914
Let's start again. What your mom means,
you're not really living right now.
103
00:12:42,997 --> 00:12:46,456
When I was your age I wanted
to have an adventure.
104
00:12:46,539 --> 00:12:50,081
Oh sheesh! She doesn't need a
bloody adventure.
105
00:12:50,164 --> 00:12:54,789
Anna you need to move on. I think we need to find
you a nice flat nearby. - Good luck with that.
106
00:12:54,873 --> 00:13:00,498
I mean it. I want you out of my shed by
your birthday. This ends now!
107
00:13:03,540 --> 00:13:08,040
Do you want me to look at your hair?
108
00:15:17,127 --> 00:15:19,668
Anna, are you up?
109
00:15:22,418 --> 00:15:24,668
Anna?
110
00:15:24,752 --> 00:15:29,710
I was thinking. Should we just do a
show for your birthday?
111
00:15:29,794 --> 00:15:33,127
Westlife plays around the Civic.
112
00:15:34,169 --> 00:15:38,627
We should book it now, if you want to.
Maybe go to a restaurant ...
113
00:15:46,627 --> 00:15:50,252
Anna. It's still your birthday you know!
114
00:15:59,669 --> 00:16:05,253
-Were you up all night watching "Grease" on the telly?
-No. Were you?
115
00:16:05,336 --> 00:16:09,711
-My mom had it on.
-Oh aye, my mom had it on.
116
00:16:09,795 --> 00:16:12,670
Have you seen "Grease"?
-Yes.
117
00:16:12,753 --> 00:16:17,045
At the end he comes on in a white
coat, dressed like her.
118
00:16:17,128 --> 00:16:21,420
And she turn up in black,
just like him.
119
00:16:21,503 --> 00:16:26,837
He just takes off his coat, like yeah,
we'll just dress like me then.
120
00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:30,004
It's not even a discussion. Like
maybe they could dress like her.
121
00:16:30,087 --> 00:16:34,504
I know it's the 50s, but that's everyday
sexism, gone mad.
122
00:16:35,587 --> 00:16:38,754
-There's 21.
-How do you know that?
123
00:16:38,837 --> 00:16:41,546
I like counting.
124
00:16:45,212 --> 00:16:51,337
If we were ancient Greeks, I'd be like
Apollo. Like all rational and a bit anal.
125
00:16:51,421 --> 00:16:56,254
But you would be exciting and arty,
like Dionysus.
126
00:16:57,713 --> 00:17:02,421
Dionysus is the good one. Most
people want to be Dionysus.
127
00:17:03,629 --> 00:17:05,796
Bye.
128
00:17:08,421 --> 00:17:12,755
Alice, you did classics, right?
Who was Dionysus?
129
00:17:12,838 --> 00:17:17,755
A sex-obsessed pisser. You shouldn't
personify the moles, you know.
130
00:17:17,838 --> 00:17:20,838
Hello, kids club!
131
00:17:35,589 --> 00:17:40,297
You have to take your hat off. You need
to take your hat off.
132
00:17:53,631 --> 00:18:00,048
Please, do not use use the oars as weapons.
I repeat, do not use the oars as weapons.
133
00:18:00,756 --> 00:18:03,881
-Little shit...
-The mic's still on!
134
00:18:45,757 --> 00:18:49,299
What the hell? Are you trying to kill me?
135
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:09,300
Marion, you have my cup of tea?
136
00:19:10,508 --> 00:19:12,550
Marion?
137
00:19:12,633 --> 00:19:20,133
It's next door's daughter and her little boy.
Guess that means there's not long now.
138
00:20:56,928 --> 00:21:00,511
-Hi! When did you get
back? -Yesterday.
139
00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:07,095
I've got to wait 2 weeks for my flat, so I thought
I'd come home. Get my sister to do my washing.
Show off my tan.
140
00:21:07,178 --> 00:21:10,720
-How are you feeling? -Yeah, good.
A bit jetlagged.
141
00:21:10,803 --> 00:21:14,053
Mensies surging out of me, as usual.
142
00:21:14,136 --> 00:21:18,762
-Fucking hell, you're living in here?
-Yeah, I just needed some space.
143
00:21:18,845 --> 00:21:21,720
There is not a lot of space in here.
144
00:21:21,803 --> 00:21:24,845
You remember, you, me and Billy used to make dens in here?
145
00:21:24,928 --> 00:21:29,345
Your mother would turn off the electricity,
to get us to come in for our tea.
146
00:21:34,679 --> 00:21:40,012
It's so weird being back. I can't get used to it.
Being in the sun every day.
147
00:21:40,095 --> 00:21:45,846
I've been really good about wearing sun cream though,
so I don't think I've got any skin damage.
148
00:21:48,637 --> 00:21:53,887
Hi Patrick. How are you?
Yeah, you're right, I have lost weight.
149
00:21:56,013 --> 00:22:00,221
So, I've got something for you.
150
00:22:04,096 --> 00:22:07,013
You're gonna be 30.
151
00:22:09,096 --> 00:22:14,055
-What are we gonna do for it then? We
gotta do something! -Why?
152
00:22:14,138 --> 00:22:20,305
Why don't we have a happy un-birthday
night. It will be fun!
153
00:22:23,430 --> 00:22:28,847
-You're still mkaing your videos? -No. I
needed to renew the domain name.
154
00:22:31,264 --> 00:22:34,264
-Do you wanna watch
"Rocky"? -Yes!
155
00:22:39,389 --> 00:22:41,805
I've got it downloaded.
156
00:22:42,847 --> 00:22:46,056
-I've missed you.
-I've missed you.
157
00:23:46,641 --> 00:23:49,057
Two minutes!
158
00:23:59,766 --> 00:24:03,391
-Hi. Are you OK?
-Yeah!
159
00:24:03,474 --> 00:24:08,975
-Your mom came into the office. You're looking
for a flat? -God, my mum can just fuck off!
160
00:24:09,058 --> 00:24:14,183
-I like your badges. What is the green
one for? -I don't know.
161
00:24:14,266 --> 00:24:17,975
I think we should get badges
for adult life skills.
162
00:24:18,058 --> 00:24:25,475
You know like changing a car tire, or sowing,
or sending something back in a restaurant.
163
00:24:29,808 --> 00:24:34,809
-Is that Brendan Myers? Since when did he move back?
-He's come back to write his masterpiece.
164
00:24:34,892 --> 00:24:37,642
What the hell are you wearing?
165
00:24:39,809 --> 00:24:43,809
-You're looking for faeces?
-Yeah.
166
00:24:43,892 --> 00:24:48,351
You are very good at spotting them.
Maybe you could get a badge for looking for faeces.
167
00:24:48,434 --> 00:24:50,934
Show your lunch box, Linford!
168
00:24:52,184 --> 00:24:59,101
Hiya, Brendan. How are you doing you big sexy beast?
Your buttocks are like glistening orbs in the morning dew.
169
00:24:59,184 --> 00:25:02,268
Sorry to interrupt for objectifying you.
170
00:25:02,351 --> 00:25:08,935
You do realize Anna's sitting and peeing?
Do you not see the steam? Maybe give her a tissue.
171
00:25:09,018 --> 00:25:13,060
I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
172
00:25:13,143 --> 00:25:19,268
There are nettles down there so be careful. You do not
want a nettle on your fanny.
173
00:25:22,727 --> 00:25:26,852
You're a bully. -Does he still love
the Spice Girls?
174
00:25:26,935 --> 00:25:31,018
He's a lot taller than I remember. Not that
that actually means anything.
175
00:25:31,102 --> 00:25:35,352
I learned this after a very disappointing encounter
with a basket player.
176
00:25:35,435 --> 00:25:39,352
It has nothing to do with height,
or feet or anything like that.
177
00:25:39,435 --> 00:25:45,561
There were these Korean guys, and they measured
them and found it is all in the second and fourth digits.
178
00:25:45,644 --> 00:25:47,852
So the key is, look at a guy's hands.
179
00:25:47,936 --> 00:25:54,102
Listen to me, otherwise you're gonna end up with
some nice guy who's got a poor digital ratio
180
00:25:54,186 --> 00:25:56,977
-and your vagina is never going to forgive you.
181
00:25:57,061 --> 00:26:00,269
So you've already bumped into the prodigal one?
182
00:26:00,353 --> 00:26:06,228
Yeah, what are you doing here?
-Saving the day. I'm helping her out with the kids company.
183
00:26:06,311 --> 00:26:09,394
You're dressed accordingly.
-Yes.
184
00:26:09,478 --> 00:26:15,686
-That's just not appropriate footwear
-I'm Miss Scarlet. This is my contemporary interpretation.
185
00:26:15,770 --> 00:26:18,603
I'm getting into my past,
Stanislavski style.
186
00:26:18,686 --> 00:26:23,978
-Do you think Stanislavski wore porn shoes?
-They're your porn shoes.
187
00:26:24,062 --> 00:26:26,020
Fuck!
188
00:26:26,103 --> 00:26:30,478
Hang on! I need you to play
the victim. -What?
189
00:26:33,895 --> 00:26:36,854
-So you're with anyone?
-Only in the mirror.
190
00:26:36,937 --> 00:26:41,812
Maybe you should become a lesbian.
It would quite suit you.
191
00:26:41,895 --> 00:26:46,771
I think you should get more in touch
with yourself.
192
00:26:46,854 --> 00:26:50,687
-Try yoga, meditation
... -Stop! No!
193
00:26:50,771 --> 00:26:55,271
You promised that when you came back
you wouldn't be wanker.
194
00:26:55,354 --> 00:27:00,938
Well if you'd come with me like you were
supposed to, you'd be a wanker too.
195
00:27:01,021 --> 00:27:04,271
-That doesn't make any sense.
-This is taking ages.
196
00:27:04,354 --> 00:27:07,896
-Because you're such a fat fucking bitch.
-Come on.
197
00:27:16,771 --> 00:27:20,146
Look. Come on.
198
00:27:21,605 --> 00:27:26,522
I want you to survey the scene.
199
00:27:26,605 --> 00:27:31,855
Something is wrong.
Things don't add up.
200
00:27:31,938 --> 00:27:36,480
Look at the people. How are they
behaving? What are they hiding?
201
00:27:36,564 --> 00:27:39,689
How do they give themselves away?
202
00:27:39,772 --> 00:27:42,272
She's alive. Case solved.
203
00:27:42,355 --> 00:27:45,230
-It's only a game.
-A rubbish one.
204
00:27:45,314 --> 00:27:49,106
Right! Let's go and interview Miss Scarlet.
205
00:27:49,189 --> 00:27:53,814
Then we're gonna look at a capsule
of information about the victim.
206
00:27:53,897 --> 00:27:57,106
-You look like Clint Eastwood.
-My name is Clint.
207
00:27:57,189 --> 00:28:00,814
-Very funny.
-Why?
208
00:28:00,898 --> 00:28:05,398
-You serious?
-Yeah. My dad is a cowboy. He blows buildings
up with dynamite.
209
00:28:05,481 --> 00:28:10,481
-Like a re-enacter?
-Yeah, that's what I wanna do when I grow up.
210
00:28:16,356 --> 00:28:20,523
Do you want to see the fastest
gunslinger in the West?
211
00:28:22,648 --> 00:28:25,482
-Did you see it?
-You didn't do it.
212
00:28:25,565 --> 00:28:29,273
-No, it's a joke.
-It's not funny.
213
00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:33,857
-One. -Four. - Two. -Four.
214
00:28:33,940 --> 00:28:36,232
-Three.
-Four.
215
00:28:36,315 --> 00:28:39,732
-Four.
-Four.
216
00:28:39,815 --> 00:28:42,565
-Six. -Four. Four,
four, four.
217
00:28:42,649 --> 00:28:44,690
Fourteen.
218
00:29:04,399 --> 00:29:07,608
-Oh my God! Oh my
God! -What the fuck's up with you?
219
00:29:07,691 --> 00:29:12,191
-We're gonna hit the sun. -Fucking hell. You
need to read "On the beach".
220
00:29:12,275 --> 00:29:17,983
It's about people awaiting the arrival of deadly
radiation. And how they're dealing with their impending death.
221
00:29:18,066 --> 00:29:23,441
They just went on, had picnics and did gardening and stuff.
Basically you need a goal. Like Rocky.
222
00:29:23,525 --> 00:29:28,650
Rocky trains to win the fight, and in doing it,
he regains self respect. Makes peace with the
person he'll never become.
223
00:29:28,733 --> 00:29:33,858
-Adrian says it in "Rocky 3". -When
she finally grows a pair.
224
00:29:33,942 --> 00:29:37,109
When she wears that great corral lipstick. -When she's finally
given some lines.- When she wears that nice necklace.
225
00:29:37,192 --> 00:29:44,484
What are you doing, you nutter? You need to look after
this little dude, cause he's driving the other kids mental.
226
00:29:53,859 --> 00:29:57,776
-Can you stop that?
-I'm bored.
227
00:29:59,317 --> 00:30:01,276
Why don't you draw her a picture.
228
00:30:01,359 --> 00:30:06,443
No, I'm not drawing a picture. People will look at it
and see what my feelings are doing inside.
229
00:30:06,526 --> 00:30:10,526
Well why don't you draw her a flower.
Or a rainbow.
230
00:30:15,860 --> 00:30:18,068
Can I have one?
231
00:30:26,735 --> 00:30:29,443
You missed a bit.
232
00:30:33,193 --> 00:30:35,818
You missed another bit.
233
00:30:41,069 --> 00:30:43,235
And there.
234
00:30:46,610 --> 00:30:51,236
-Don't say anything. -What on earth have
you been doing. Come here.
235
00:30:52,486 --> 00:30:54,652
Mum! That is rank!
236
00:30:54,736 --> 00:30:57,652
I can not believe it!
237
00:30:59,027 --> 00:31:05,361
Doesn't she look fun? Fantastic.
238
00:31:05,444 --> 00:31:08,028
Mind your fingers.
239
00:31:11,236 --> 00:31:13,986
Your face is so slim now, I can't get over it.
240
00:31:14,070 --> 00:31:18,070
Thanks. Yeah, I got dysentery when
I was in India. It was great.
241
00:31:18,153 --> 00:31:23,445
-When do you go back to London and start work?
-Actually I'm gonna have a bit of a career change.
242
00:31:23,528 --> 00:31:30,487
I got into a real energized headspace. I'll be a
choreographer and be a yoga teacher.
243
00:31:30,570 --> 00:31:34,778
-I'm rebooting. -It is a good time to
make a fresh start.
244
00:31:37,820 --> 00:31:43,737
Anna's problem is that her childhood ambition was to
be rescued by David Hasselhoff of Baywatch.
245
00:31:43,820 --> 00:31:50,321
-I wanted to be David Hasselhoff. -If that isn't
the cause of an existential crisis, I don't know what is.
246
00:31:50,404 --> 00:31:53,279
-Anna need a way to motivate herself.
-I can hear you!
247
00:31:53,362 --> 00:31:57,779
Annas's got ways to motivate herself. She just thinks
of Patrick Swayze topless.
248
00:31:57,862 --> 00:32:00,487
Not in "Point Break". That makes me wanna vomit.
249
00:32:11,029 --> 00:32:13,821
Why can't you be more like Fiona?
250
00:32:13,905 --> 00:32:19,446
-What? Go away for 2 years and shack up with a fat South-African?
-No, I didn't mean that.
251
00:32:19,530 --> 00:32:23,696
-She's just focused, isn't she?
-Leave her alone.
252
00:32:23,780 --> 00:32:27,280
Anna's just having a little think about what she wants.
253
00:32:27,363 --> 00:32:33,405
-What I want is for you to leave me alone. -Well I'll leave you
alone, while you look around this.
254
00:32:34,572 --> 00:32:36,072
What?
255
00:32:38,864 --> 00:32:43,030
-I never thought you'd move back here permanently.
-Well, you have.
256
00:32:43,114 --> 00:32:46,405
Not permanently, only while I write my book.
257
00:32:46,489 --> 00:32:52,031
-I changed it again, now it's about this ballet dancer...
... Is that you?
258
00:32:57,072 --> 00:33:02,281
Have you had a look around? -Yes. And it made me want to
slit my forehead and bleed all over the floor.
259
00:33:02,364 --> 00:33:06,864
It's like a contraceptive made
of chipboard and pebbledash.
260
00:33:06,948 --> 00:33:10,156
If she moves in here, her
hymen will grow back.
261
00:33:10,239 --> 00:33:13,739
-What does it always have to be
about sex? -Cause everything is about sex.
262
00:33:13,823 --> 00:33:18,823
I'm gonna put you on the internet, and find a Neanderthal
that'll blow out the cobwebs in ...
263
00:33:18,906 --> 00:33:22,531
I'm not moving out until I've
worked out what I'm doing. So back off.
264
00:33:22,615 --> 00:33:26,865
You said that five months
ago. Time's up.
265
00:33:30,823 --> 00:33:32,823
Bye.
266
00:33:33,948 --> 00:33:35,573
See you.
267
00:33:58,532 --> 00:34:01,991
How do you know what
you want in life?
268
00:34:02,074 --> 00:34:06,866
Listen to your heart. Your heart will
tell you what to do.
269
00:34:06,949 --> 00:34:12,533
I can't listen to my heart. It tells me things like: You like
"X Factor" more than you care to admit.
270
00:34:12,616 --> 00:34:15,325
And: Consider a perm.
271
00:34:15,408 --> 00:34:19,533
I know what I want.
-Oh yeah. What?
272
00:34:19,616 --> 00:34:23,616
-A girlfriend. -You're not gonna find
one down here.
273
00:34:23,700 --> 00:34:27,408
-Come down here and give me a hand. -I will
not come down until my demands are met.
274
00:34:27,492 --> 00:34:30,825
You'll wait a long time then.
275
00:36:13,744 --> 00:36:17,245
-What are you doing?
-Accelerating the cycle of life.
276
00:36:17,328 --> 00:36:23,995
You can't just move them nearby. They have a strong
homing instinct. They'll come back. I saw it on "Baywatch".
277
00:36:24,078 --> 00:36:26,078
"Spring Watch", Mother.
278
00:36:26,161 --> 00:36:30,203
-Stop following me.
-No, he's going with you.
279
00:36:35,203 --> 00:36:37,495
That's my cowboy horse.
280
00:36:42,120 --> 00:36:46,954
Twenty-five. Twenty-six. Twenty
seven. Twenty-eight.
281
00:36:48,162 --> 00:36:51,204
I think I'm gonna be like you
when I am growing older.
282
00:36:51,287 --> 00:36:54,787
That's nice. It was a nice compliment.
283
00:36:54,871 --> 00:36:58,162
I meant sad and angry all the time,
after my mom dies.
284
00:36:58,246 --> 00:36:59,996
I'm not sad and angry all the time.
285
00:37:00,079 --> 00:37:02,787
-No friends, then.
I have got friends!
286
00:37:02,871 --> 00:37:06,288
Okay. Living with your nan, then.
287
00:37:06,371 --> 00:37:11,329
If you take your walkie-talkie home,
we can talk at night.
288
00:37:11,413 --> 00:37:15,038
How many moles are
there? -29.
289
00:38:23,331 --> 00:38:25,831
-Hi.
-Hi.
290
00:38:25,915 --> 00:38:29,707
-How are you doing? -Good. -Nice
bike. -Thank you.
291
00:38:29,790 --> 00:38:34,498
-How are things going? -Good, yeah good. I'm
on my way to the supermarket.
292
00:38:34,582 --> 00:38:38,082
-7:30. So life is good.
-So precise.
293
00:38:38,165 --> 00:38:43,082
-I don't like it when there are children there.
-Naturally. Yeah.
294
00:38:43,165 --> 00:38:47,082
Anna's just gone to the bar to get us a drink.
Do you wanna join us for a pint?
295
00:38:47,165 --> 00:38:51,582
No. I did not know you
were with Anna.
296
00:38:51,665 --> 00:38:54,457
-Why are you being weird.
-I'm not being weird.
297
00:38:54,541 --> 00:38:57,791
-Oh my God, do you like her?
-No.
298
00:38:57,874 --> 00:39:01,499
-I thought you...? -You thought what?
Why does everyone think I'm gay?
299
00:39:01,582 --> 00:39:05,499
I have a soft voice and
I wore pink shorts once.
300
00:39:05,582 --> 00:39:08,124
Hey, Anna.
301
00:39:08,208 --> 00:39:11,708
-See you later. -Nice
to see you.
302
00:39:11,791 --> 00:39:14,583
We're going to a club on Saturday! Join us!
303
00:39:17,833 --> 00:39:24,458
-I just had the weirdest conversation with Brendan.
-Nothing new there. It's like the "Wickerman" in there.
304
00:39:24,541 --> 00:39:29,750
It can't be worse than being at home. Honestly I
can really see why you stay around here.
305
00:39:29,833 --> 00:39:34,583
Such a cultured place. That's
what dreams are all about.
306
00:39:34,667 --> 00:39:41,250
I dream of making a perfect lasagne. -That's quite
an achievable dream for like seven quid.
307
00:39:41,333 --> 00:39:44,792
I did a Thai cooking class.
308
00:39:44,875 --> 00:39:49,417
I can make a Thai curry from scratch. Pad
thai, egg fried rice.
309
00:39:49,500 --> 00:39:53,917
Egg fried rice is Chinese.
It was a real cheap cooking class.
310
00:39:58,209 --> 00:40:00,126
Anna.
311
00:40:00,959 --> 00:40:03,167
Are you there?
312
00:40:04,917 --> 00:40:07,918
Hello? Hello?
313
00:41:33,170 --> 00:41:36,670
-How long have we been doing this?
-567 days.
314
00:41:36,753 --> 00:41:42,795
We'll just do the same every day. And then we die.
Do you think that makes us ...
315
00:41:42,878 --> 00:41:46,045
-Like John McClane in the "Die Hard" films?
-Sisyphus.
316
00:41:46,129 --> 00:41:52,837
He was condemned to repeat the same task. Pushing a
rock up a mountain only to see it roll down again. Forever.
317
00:41:52,920 --> 00:41:58,129
We have to imagine we're bigger than our fate. -Blowing
up this spaceship would mean that we are bigger than our fate.
318
00:41:58,212 --> 00:42:01,337
-I have no idea what you're on about.
-Albert Camus' myth of Sisyphus.
319
00:42:01,421 --> 00:42:06,546
Was he a goal keeper? You need to lighten up.
You need to stop listening to depressing hippie music.
320
00:42:06,629 --> 00:42:10,546
Start listening to Whitesnake.
Here I go again on my own
321
00:42:10,629 --> 00:42:13,254
There, yes, my friend.
322
00:42:14,879 --> 00:42:19,796
Clint's staying here tonight. His
mum's in hospital.
323
00:42:19,880 --> 00:42:22,713
Can we tidy up please?
324
00:42:22,796 --> 00:42:25,963
-Why can't he sleep in the house?
-You don't.
325
00:42:27,588 --> 00:42:29,588
Is this clean?
326
00:42:32,172 --> 00:42:38,422
Is that your brother?
Yeah, that is Billy.
327
00:42:38,505 --> 00:42:42,713
-Is he dead in the photo?
-No! He's sun bathing.
328
00:42:42,797 --> 00:42:45,339
He looks dead.
329
00:42:46,714 --> 00:42:49,922
Was it fun being a twin?
330
00:42:58,339 --> 00:43:01,214
She finds it hard to talk about Billy.
331
00:43:01,297 --> 00:43:06,506
The sad thing is that he is dead.
Not talking about him.
332
00:43:15,673 --> 00:43:18,423
-You left him alone in there?
-Grow up.
333
00:43:18,506 --> 00:43:21,423
-Where's his nan?
-At the hospital.
334
00:43:21,506 --> 00:43:26,298
Well where's his dad? He's doing some
controlled demolition somewhere.
335
00:43:26,381 --> 00:43:29,506
I made that for him.
336
00:43:54,132 --> 00:43:58,216
Guided meditation for real men who
aren't into hippie shit.
337
00:43:58,299 --> 00:44:01,549
Number 16: Sheds.
338
00:44:02,632 --> 00:44:07,091
Man! Stop what you're doing!
339
00:44:07,174 --> 00:44:10,799
This is your time.
340
00:44:12,799 --> 00:44:17,049
There's nothing you have to do now
apart from friggin rest.
341
00:44:17,133 --> 00:44:21,758
Close your eyes. Noone is going to hit you.
342
00:44:22,925 --> 00:44:26,675
Imagine you're in a shed.
343
00:44:26,758 --> 00:44:31,883
A shed with adequate shelving, and nothing touching
the ground where it can get damp.
344
00:44:35,425 --> 00:44:39,217
Or imagine you are building
a dam in a river -
345
00:44:39,300 --> 00:44:45,592
a brilliant dam, where all the rocks fit together perfectly
and no bastard water gets through.
346
00:44:46,842 --> 00:44:52,009
Tell me when I to start.
-Muscle lady, designed for building dams.
347
00:44:52,092 --> 00:44:55,050
I ran out of rocks.
348
00:44:55,134 --> 00:45:01,509
There's meant to be no water getting through there,
and that basically looks like most of the water is.
349
00:45:03,176 --> 00:45:05,676
I am a man of many talents.
350
00:45:05,759 --> 00:45:09,301
Take it!
351
00:45:09,384 --> 00:45:12,801
I want to do a stunt ...
352
00:45:12,884 --> 00:45:15,718
Is that you and Billy?
353
00:45:15,801 --> 00:45:19,718
Do not touch my tapes.
They are precious.
354
00:45:20,884 --> 00:45:23,968
Nan made you this.
355
00:45:40,593 --> 00:45:44,218
-Have you got a teddy?
-No.
356
00:45:44,302 --> 00:45:47,594
Have you got a doll or a lion?
357
00:45:51,510 --> 00:45:53,969
Pass us your pillow.
358
00:46:05,969 --> 00:46:10,428
-What was that video for?
-Just fun.
359
00:46:10,511 --> 00:46:15,011
Why did the picture stop at the end?
-It is not finished.
360
00:46:15,094 --> 00:46:22,053
-Are there any more? -Yeah. Loads.
We had a website.
361
00:46:23,178 --> 00:46:29,303
We made videos that were bad instruction
guides for coping with things in life.
362
00:46:38,720 --> 00:46:41,845
Is this Billy's?
363
00:46:41,928 --> 00:46:44,720
No, it's mine.
364
00:46:44,803 --> 00:46:50,095
-Why do you have your hair in a pot?
-It is from just after he died.
365
00:46:53,720 --> 00:46:56,804
Your body is made up of
millions of cells.
366
00:46:56,887 --> 00:47:02,721
I've read somewhere that all your
cells are replaced after a few years.
367
00:47:02,804 --> 00:47:08,262
So every day I am less and less the person
I was when I was with him.
368
00:47:08,346 --> 00:47:13,804
One day there will be nothing physically
left of me from when he was here.
369
00:47:13,888 --> 00:47:18,388
-So I cut of my hair ... -Can I
look at the website?
370
00:47:37,888 --> 00:47:40,597
Guided meditation for real men who aren't into hippie shit.
371
00:47:40,680 --> 00:47:44,055
Number 3: Cowboys!
372
00:47:44,138 --> 00:47:50,972
Imagine that you are on a horse, let's call it
Tony. You're with your mates, and they are all straight.
373
00:47:51,055 --> 00:47:57,389
But you're drinking beer in a way that makes
women want you. Gulp! Gulp!
374
00:48:08,889 --> 00:48:12,473
Where have my shoelaces gone?
375
00:48:53,849 --> 00:48:56,890
This is for you. It's God.
376
00:48:56,974 --> 00:49:00,724
Good morning. Wakey, wakey!
377
00:49:00,807 --> 00:49:04,474
Oh you're up? I've got to get you to the hospital.
378
00:49:04,557 --> 00:49:08,474
Anna, I want all this sorted. We're
gonna look at a flat later.
379
00:49:08,557 --> 00:49:14,016
-I want to tell her about the boat we made at school.
-Tell her about it later. She's not going anywhere.
380
00:49:14,099 --> 00:49:19,433
-I come around tonight. -Come on,
I'll get you breakfast.
381
00:49:46,475 --> 00:49:50,350
We're gonna hit the sun in three days.
Have you got a teddy bear?
382
00:49:50,434 --> 00:49:57,684
No. They'll give you no comfort now anyway.
All teddy bears are nihilists. The question
is existential or moral.
383
00:49:57,767 --> 00:50:00,225
Let's go.
384
00:50:03,434 --> 00:50:07,476
The majority have no concept of the self.
so could be considered the former.
385
00:50:07,559 --> 00:50:12,893
Yogi Bear was a moral nihilist, stealing all
those picnics. With no consideration of the conseqences.
386
00:50:15,268 --> 00:50:18,268
-Anna, I mean it!
That won't help.
387
00:50:18,351 --> 00:50:21,643
Stop being so bloody sanctimonious.
388
00:50:22,809 --> 00:50:29,685
-What are you doing? They don't go there.
-Are you moral authority on this?
389
00:50:29,768 --> 00:50:36,310
Every knows you put the mugs on the top shelf.
You line them up between the prongs, not over them.
390
00:50:36,393 --> 00:50:39,393
Don't you write me a job description.
391
00:50:39,477 --> 00:50:42,310
Anna, get yourself out here right now.
392
00:50:42,393 --> 00:50:46,852
What shall I do with this?
Up my ass?
393
00:50:46,935 --> 00:50:49,227
Fuck off.
394
00:50:51,602 --> 00:50:56,019
Anna, I think you should know, that despite claiming
maturity, your mother...
395
00:50:56,102 --> 00:51:00,310
-just mimed the words
"Fuck off" to me.
396
00:51:00,394 --> 00:51:04,019
You can't get angry with people for
not behaving the way you would, Marion.
397
00:51:04,102 --> 00:51:07,811
Only a sociopath would put
mugs on the lower shelf.
398
00:51:07,894 --> 00:51:10,727
I'm not talking about the dishwasher.
399
00:51:18,186 --> 00:51:21,228
Marion, don't lose them both.
400
00:51:30,645 --> 00:51:36,020
-You didn't have to do that. I'm not 9.
-Stop behaving like it then.
401
00:51:36,103 --> 00:51:39,687
Can you not text and drive.
My life is in your hands.
402
00:51:39,770 --> 00:51:43,562
You are assuming that I am not
trying to kill you, Marion.
403
00:51:45,520 --> 00:51:49,478
Council toilet block looks salubrious by comparison.
404
00:51:49,562 --> 00:51:54,270
-You got anything else we can look at? -Not
within your specifications, I'm afraid.
405
00:51:54,354 --> 00:51:58,354
-Perhaps you should consider lowering your expectations.
-Or I could just give up on life completely.
406
00:51:58,437 --> 00:52:05,187
I can't imagine her bringing someone back here. Are
there any woman in the world shagging less than us.
407
00:52:05,271 --> 00:52:08,562
-Do not use that word.
-Fucking?
408
00:52:08,646 --> 00:52:12,854
-I cannot believe you're my mother?
-Let's get a blood test.
409
00:52:12,937 --> 00:52:15,854
-Sorry. -It's all right.
410
00:52:16,896 --> 00:52:20,688
Have you thought about Brendan?
He is quite hunky.
411
00:52:20,771 --> 00:52:26,813
Define hunk, Marion. I don't think anyone's
been hunky since 1965.
412
00:52:26,896 --> 00:52:31,230
-Brendan is gay. -I don't think
that's necessarily a problem.
413
00:52:31,313 --> 00:52:35,355
It would be healthy for you to be
emotionally involved wth someone.
414
00:52:35,438 --> 00:52:39,397
Emotionally involved?
Are we in "Pride and Prejudice" now?
415
00:52:39,480 --> 00:52:42,730
It would be good to develop
a bond.
416
00:52:42,813 --> 00:52:49,355
-You did not give Luke a chance.
-Jesus, Marion, the hairdresser? Have you gone completely mad?
417
00:52:49,438 --> 00:52:54,480
I can't stand a man who wears Ugg boots.
-I thought they look quite cozy.
418
00:52:54,564 --> 00:52:57,855
Cozy? Anna does not need cozy.
419
00:52:57,939 --> 00:53:01,647
She needs a man with arms chiseled
out of granite.
420
00:53:01,730 --> 00:53:04,439
that can chuck her across the bedroom. It's
what all women want.
421
00:53:04,522 --> 00:53:08,856
A monosyllabic lumberjack with
an artistic streak.
422
00:53:15,606 --> 00:53:21,481
-Don't put a lot on. -I'm not!
I just defining your cheekbones.
423
00:53:21,564 --> 00:53:26,398
I've seen it on my tutorial. You can make
really fat faces look slim.
424
00:53:26,481 --> 00:53:29,356
I haven't got a fat face.
425
00:53:29,440 --> 00:53:33,815
Deceptive. My face is five
times bigger than this.
426
00:53:33,898 --> 00:53:37,231
What the hell is that?
427
00:53:38,356 --> 00:53:43,607
Clint did it. It is God as a cowboy sitting
on a horse, on a cloud.
428
00:53:43,690 --> 00:53:49,273
-The kid has got issues. I like that he does stuff and is not
worried about what people think.
429
00:53:49,357 --> 00:53:53,065
You mean he's a little shit. -He's not
scared of messing up.
430
00:53:53,149 --> 00:53:56,524
If he wasn't 7 I'd say you have a crush on him.
431
00:53:59,440 --> 00:54:04,441
-You're kiddin?! -I need
to rub it in more.
432
00:54:04,524 --> 00:54:10,274
-I look like Adam Ant. -It'll
look much better at the club.
433
00:54:14,399 --> 00:54:19,399
-I feel like getting hammered.
-Come on let's buy some booze.
434
00:54:19,483 --> 00:54:24,191
What? We embrace restraint
whilst getting wasted.
435
00:54:24,274 --> 00:54:31,275
My challenge: If you can get a bloke to say the word
"period", without meaning anything historical,
436
00:54:31,358 --> 00:54:33,733
-then you have to snog him.
437
00:54:33,816 --> 00:54:39,025
Shit. I do not have
my phone. Sorry.
438
00:54:39,108 --> 00:54:41,900
Two seconds.
439
00:55:43,193 --> 00:55:47,402
It's really cold. It gonna make
my nipples stand out.
440
00:55:47,485 --> 00:55:49,693
Let's have a look.
441
00:55:49,777 --> 00:55:52,610
-It didn't work.
-Come on.
442
00:55:54,235 --> 00:55:58,069
Oh my God, that's my mum's hairdresser,
Luke. Don't engage.
443
00:55:59,319 --> 00:56:01,985
Hi, Luke.
444
00:56:03,402 --> 00:56:08,236
-Hello. -I like your hair.
Very 80s.
445
00:56:08,319 --> 00:56:11,277
Bit of double-denim for the ladies?
446
00:56:11,361 --> 00:56:15,652
If I give you money, can you get us some booze?
We're having a teenage night out.
447
00:56:15,736 --> 00:56:20,028
Is it fancy-dress? You
look like Mumm-Ra.
448
00:56:20,111 --> 00:56:24,361
Can you get us some booze or not?
or? -You're serious?
449
00:56:24,444 --> 00:56:31,445
Get us some alcopops or cider. Something
that looks radioactive. Thanks.
450
00:56:31,528 --> 00:56:37,195
I would not want him cutting my hair.
You reckon he straightens his mullet?
451
01:00:37,410 --> 01:00:42,910
-What are you doing? You can't leave like that.
I didn't know where you were.
452
01:00:42,993 --> 01:00:47,785
You could have told me. And that
cab just cost me 40 quid.
453
01:00:47,868 --> 01:00:50,077
-40? -I
know.
454
01:00:50,160 --> 01:00:53,243
I didn't think you cared as you just had
your tongue down someone's throat.
455
01:00:53,327 --> 01:00:56,452
-You're still wasted.
-Whose fault is that?
456
01:00:56,535 --> 01:01:02,369
Sorry for trying to give you a good night out.
I been trying to make you smile again.
457
01:01:02,452 --> 01:01:04,910
Well you fucked that up, haven't you?
458
01:01:04,994 --> 01:01:11,869
-Did you lock my shed? -What? Yeah
... I can't remember. Why?
459
01:01:11,952 --> 01:01:14,827
My videos and my camera have been stolen.
-Are you sure?
460
01:01:14,911 --> 01:01:19,911
-Of course I'm fucking sure! You can't have locked it.
-I don't think someone's gonna take your videos.
461
01:01:19,994 --> 01:01:25,744
That just sums you up that you're so
self-absorbed. It's always about you.
462
01:01:25,828 --> 01:01:31,786
Oh my God. You make out like you're
the only one that knew Billy.
463
01:01:31,869 --> 01:01:35,286
-Bullshit. -You're not the only one who
loved him, you know.
464
01:01:35,370 --> 01:01:40,036
Since when did you love him? You think
some snog on a school trip counts?
465
01:01:40,120 --> 01:01:44,995
I'm talking about your mum and your nan.
Fuck you, of course I loved him.
466
01:01:45,078 --> 01:01:47,370
Fuck you!
467
01:02:11,662 --> 01:02:16,371
Anna! May I tell you about that
boat we made at school?
468
01:02:16,454 --> 01:02:20,537
-What are you wearing? -It
shrunk in the wash.
469
01:02:20,621 --> 01:02:23,413
What the fuck, that's my brother's!
470
01:02:29,621 --> 01:02:32,038
-You should not swear.
-You should not steal things!
471
01:02:32,121 --> 01:02:37,580
Your nan gave me
that. Was your nan an astronaut?
472
01:02:37,663 --> 01:02:43,080
-Did your nan go up into space? -No.
Does your mom know you're up at the crack of dawn?
473
01:02:43,163 --> 01:02:46,247
She is in hospital.
474
01:02:47,913 --> 01:02:51,372
You should get back to bed.
475
01:03:49,873 --> 01:03:52,290
Are you hung over?
476
01:03:55,873 --> 01:03:58,207
What do you think?
477
01:03:59,874 --> 01:04:03,249
It could be really nice.
478
01:04:05,207 --> 01:04:09,249
Come on, sweet heart.
Is it about the jumper?
479
01:04:11,249 --> 01:04:15,749
-Anna, please don't ignore me.
-Are you OK, love?
480
01:04:15,832 --> 01:04:20,666
Someone's been in my shed.
My videos have been stolen.
481
01:04:20,749 --> 01:04:26,833
-You might find them if you tidied up. -Stop
it! What do you want me to do, live in an empty box?
482
01:04:26,916 --> 01:04:31,166
-This is a lovely empty box, Brendan, thank you.
-You're welcome.
483
01:04:54,417 --> 01:04:58,083
-You coming, love?
-I'm gonna go for a walk.
484
01:05:04,917 --> 01:05:09,417
I'm thinking of quitting.
It's not really for me.
485
01:05:09,500 --> 01:05:12,251
You are not very good at it.
486
01:05:12,334 --> 01:05:15,917
-What are you looking at? It was
"love" written on the pavement
487
01:05:16,001 --> 01:05:19,959
I took a picture of it, but
now I can't find it.
488
01:05:21,876 --> 01:05:25,751
Maybe you are looking in
the wrong place. -I'm not.
489
01:05:33,626 --> 01:05:37,585
How is your period?
490
01:05:41,210 --> 01:05:44,543
Don't ask that? Why would I say that?
491
01:05:44,626 --> 01:05:48,210
I said it because Fiona told me to ask you.
She thought you'd be impressed.
492
01:05:48,293 --> 01:05:53,293
But it felt wrong, instinctively.
I hate Fiona.
493
01:05:54,210 --> 01:05:57,335
Fiona is your worst mate!
494
01:06:06,294 --> 01:06:10,585
This is Fiona's voice mail.
Leave a message.
495
01:06:10,669 --> 01:06:13,836
-Don't you fucking dare!
-What's going on?
496
01:06:13,919 --> 01:06:18,419
If these are broken, I will fucking kill
you. These are really fucking expensive!
497
01:06:18,502 --> 01:06:22,211
-Everything I ever had, she just broke it.
-You psycho bitch!
498
01:06:22,294 --> 01:06:26,628
I'm taking the cost of that laminator
out of your wages.
499
01:06:26,711 --> 01:06:32,586
You always insisted on laminating everything.
She laminated my degrees.
500
01:06:32,669 --> 01:06:37,128
-Laminate this. -If you stay around
here, you turn into that.
501
01:06:37,211 --> 01:06:42,420
-You know if you shat yourself,
you'd blame it on someone else.
502
01:06:42,503 --> 01:06:46,378
You laminated pictures
of Robert Pattinson.
503
01:06:46,461 --> 01:06:51,087
It was not Robert Pattinson!
-Why did you need it laminated? That is vile!
504
01:06:51,170 --> 01:06:53,712
What are you getting on it? Fluids?!
505
01:06:53,795 --> 01:06:58,837
-I laminated it for her. -What? I
do not like Robert Pattinson.
506
01:06:58,920 --> 01:07:03,795
It was not Robert fucking
Pattinson! -All right!
507
01:07:03,879 --> 01:07:08,879
Should have known you two were in this together. Get you
and your diseased vagina out of my house!
508
01:08:21,964 --> 01:08:25,256
-Are you OK? -They
have killed them.
509
01:08:25,339 --> 01:08:31,923
Humanely though, with these tablets that
turn into gas. They don't feel anything.
510
01:08:33,089 --> 01:08:38,590
They are not in those traps. The traps
are only if it doesn't work.
511
01:08:38,673 --> 01:08:43,798
-So they're just dead underneath this?
-They were undermining the foundations.
512
01:08:43,881 --> 01:08:47,923
So I'll go walking around
on dead moles every day at work now?
513
01:08:50,007 --> 01:08:54,173
-Are you OK? -No. Everyone
is angry with me.
514
01:08:54,257 --> 01:09:00,090
-Because you don't like the flats?
-No cause I turn 30 in 2 days, and I live in a shed.
515
01:09:00,173 --> 01:09:04,090
And I make videos with
my thumbs.
516
01:09:04,174 --> 01:09:10,715
-You're weird, aren't you?. I like it. -Noone
wants to be liked for being weird, Brendan.
517
01:09:10,799 --> 01:09:14,299
I can objectify you,
if you want.
518
01:09:14,382 --> 01:09:21,549
I like your pale skin, your messy
hair and your smooth forehead.
519
01:09:21,632 --> 01:09:27,008
-Are you doing an inventory? -Sometimes it helps
to apply logic to emotional situations.
520
01:09:27,091 --> 01:09:32,924
I once did a cost-benefit analysis
of a relationship, to see if it was worth pursuing.
521
01:09:33,008 --> 01:09:36,258
She dumped me before
I could finish it.
522
01:09:37,299 --> 01:09:40,550
-She? -For fuck's sake,
I'm not gay!
523
01:09:40,633 --> 01:09:44,758
I like girls. Like you.
Weird girls.
524
01:09:44,841 --> 01:09:48,716
But you always used to throw pebbles
at me when we were walking home from school.
525
01:09:48,800 --> 01:09:51,758
Yes, because I wanted to fuck you.
526
01:09:54,967 --> 01:09:57,175
Do it now.
527
01:09:57,258 --> 01:10:00,008
Do it now.
528
01:10:00,092 --> 01:10:02,092
Here.
529
01:10:15,676 --> 01:10:18,134
No.
530
01:10:24,259 --> 01:10:27,843
Where are you going? Are you okay?
531
01:11:17,927 --> 01:11:19,552
Clint.
532
01:11:21,094 --> 01:11:25,969
You come for bed now. I've got a
nice story for you.
533
01:11:49,553 --> 01:11:51,595
What?
534
01:13:34,014 --> 01:13:37,639
Don't go crackers, Marion.
Keep a lid on it.
535
01:13:37,723 --> 01:13:41,098
What on earth is going on?
536
01:13:41,181 --> 01:13:44,515
Anna!
537
01:13:44,598 --> 01:13:48,265
Calm down, Marion.
I'm calm.
538
01:13:48,348 --> 01:13:51,348
-Anna.
-What's up?
539
01:13:51,431 --> 01:13:55,723
What do you mean? Nothing, everything
is fine. Perfectly normal.
540
01:13:55,807 --> 01:13:59,015
I just fancied sleeping in a tent.
541
01:13:59,098 --> 01:14:02,765
Get out! Bloody, get out!
542
01:14:02,848 --> 01:14:06,057
-Let go, mum. -No, you let go!
543
01:14:06,140 --> 01:14:09,640
Will you just stop it!
544
01:14:09,724 --> 01:14:13,265
-I have had enough. -Can I
tell you about that boat?
545
01:14:13,349 --> 01:14:17,307
Morning. Somebody's special day tomorrow?
546
01:14:17,391 --> 01:14:20,224
Get out of the way.
547
01:14:20,307 --> 01:14:23,766
-Mum! -Marion!
Stop it.
548
01:14:23,849 --> 01:14:27,516
I've had enough of this.
549
01:14:27,599 --> 01:14:29,933
Get out!
550
01:14:34,849 --> 01:14:37,183
Oh my God.
551
01:14:37,266 --> 01:14:40,391
-Anna? -I can feel
them.
552
01:14:43,808 --> 01:14:47,933
-What are you doing? There's
spiders on me.
553
01:14:48,016 --> 01:14:51,766
-Go inside, Clint. -I need
to tell her about that boat.
554
01:14:51,850 --> 01:14:54,642
-Not now, sweetheart. -It
is important.
555
01:14:54,725 --> 01:14:58,183
Fine, fine. Show me the
fucking boat!
556
01:15:03,392 --> 01:15:05,934
You little thief!
557
01:15:06,017 --> 01:15:09,059
This stuff makes you look ridiculous!
558
01:15:09,142 --> 01:15:12,642
What's happened to your
hair, darling? -She did it!
559
01:15:12,725 --> 01:15:16,600
No, I didn't. -Yes,
it's in your box.
560
01:15:20,017 --> 01:15:23,476
I knew you were sad and
angry all the time!
561
01:15:23,559 --> 01:15:28,309
Maybe I didn't want to tell you that what's
happening to your mum, will fuck up your life -
562
01:15:28,392 --> 01:15:31,851
-and you will never be happy again!
563
01:16:15,935 --> 01:16:17,977
What's up with you?
564
01:16:19,144 --> 01:16:21,227
Nothing.
565
01:16:21,311 --> 01:16:23,394
Okay.
566
01:16:25,186 --> 01:16:28,019
I want to be alone.
567
01:16:28,102 --> 01:16:30,769
You are alone.
568
01:16:32,853 --> 01:16:37,228
Can something exist elsewhere after
it's stopped existing here?
569
01:16:37,311 --> 01:16:41,353
-Like a parallel universe?
-Like a website.
570
01:16:41,436 --> 01:16:43,520
I don't know.
571
01:16:43,603 --> 01:16:49,561
-Are there parallel universes? -They
don't know what's out there.
572
01:16:49,645 --> 01:16:54,187
I know one thing that is not
out there. -What is it?
573
01:16:55,270 --> 01:16:57,645
Me.
574
01:17:02,520 --> 01:17:06,354
Hello. I was just calling on you.
575
01:17:08,812 --> 01:17:11,020
What are you reading?
576
01:17:12,312 --> 01:17:15,812
It's a pact me and Billy made.
577
01:17:15,895 --> 01:17:21,896
We were forming an alliance to last for decades,
then we were going to meet up in our 70, and kill each other.
578
01:17:21,979 --> 01:17:25,521
-That's sweet.
-Yeah...
579
01:17:25,604 --> 01:17:28,271
I should go home.
580
01:17:29,646 --> 01:17:32,271
I brought this for you.
581
01:17:33,479 --> 01:17:38,729
I was gonna get you flowers, but I was
worried they'd die, so...
582
01:17:38,813 --> 01:17:41,813
-Brendan.
-Yes.
583
01:17:43,813 --> 01:17:47,980
Am I still a twin if
my twin's dead?
584
01:17:55,147 --> 01:17:57,522
Technically...
585
01:17:58,730 --> 01:18:01,355
... I don't think so. No.
586
01:18:31,481 --> 01:18:33,523
Mum?
587
01:18:34,773 --> 01:18:36,939
Mum?
588
01:19:09,982 --> 01:19:12,815
You have one new message.
589
01:19:14,107 --> 01:19:16,232
First new message.
590
01:19:16,315 --> 01:19:22,691
Anna, Clint's been missing all
day. We need to find him.
591
01:19:22,774 --> 01:19:25,941
We're all out looking for him.
592
01:19:34,274 --> 01:19:36,358
Clint.
593
01:19:38,149 --> 01:19:40,399
Clint?
594
01:19:42,149 --> 01:19:43,941
Clint.
595
01:19:45,025 --> 01:19:47,566
Can you hear me, mate?
596
01:19:56,942 --> 01:20:00,150
Clint. Can you hear me?
597
01:21:13,152 --> 01:21:15,194
Clint!
598
01:21:21,027 --> 01:21:23,277
Clint?
599
01:21:25,986 --> 01:21:27,694
Clint!
600
01:21:40,486 --> 01:21:42,736
Clint!
601
01:21:47,945 --> 01:21:50,153
Clint!
602
01:22:02,903 --> 01:22:05,195
Clint!
603
01:22:10,987 --> 01:22:13,404
Clint!
604
01:22:26,571 --> 01:22:28,612
Clint!
605
01:22:36,363 --> 01:22:38,404
Clint!
606
01:23:22,239 --> 01:23:26,447
I've really fucked up. -Because
you've shrunk my jumper?
607
01:23:29,281 --> 01:23:31,781
-I thought he'd be here?
-He'll come.
608
01:23:31,864 --> 01:23:35,364
What if he doesn't?
609
01:23:35,448 --> 01:23:39,156
-What if something's happened, it'd
be all my fault. -Don't be daft!
610
01:23:39,239 --> 01:23:45,864
I said some really shit things to him. I
just want to say that I'm sorry, but I don't know how.
611
01:23:45,948 --> 01:23:49,156
-Yeah, you do.
-No, I don't.
612
01:23:49,240 --> 01:23:51,948
Yeah, you do.
613
01:23:54,365 --> 01:23:56,906
No, i don't.
614
01:24:03,990 --> 01:24:06,740
Who are you talking to?
615
01:24:09,407 --> 01:24:12,949
-Noone! -What are you
looking at, then?
616
01:24:14,740 --> 01:24:17,115
Nothing.
617
01:24:17,199 --> 01:24:19,865
Ask him.
618
01:24:19,949 --> 01:24:23,449
Go on. This is your chance.
619
01:24:25,366 --> 01:24:31,032
-I don't want to. -No, but
you will.
620
01:24:44,033 --> 01:24:47,200
I need you to blow up my shed.
621
01:24:49,283 --> 01:24:51,450
Allright then.
622
01:24:52,533 --> 01:24:55,950
-Can I tell you about
the boat now? -Yeah.
623
01:25:00,825 --> 01:25:04,283
There was this man who made a boat.
624
01:25:04,367 --> 01:25:09,867
He kept sailing it and sailing it. Every time he
sailed it, it got old, it keeps breaking.
625
01:25:09,950 --> 01:25:13,450
He keeps getting new bits,
every time it breaks.
626
01:25:13,534 --> 01:25:18,367
Then one day he realized, there is nothing left of
the old boat. There was only new bits.
627
01:25:18,450 --> 01:25:23,075
He thought in his head, if it was
the same boat.
628
01:25:23,159 --> 01:25:26,409
-So what's the answer?
-There isn't one.
629
01:25:26,492 --> 01:25:29,951
It's one of them questions
that you have to think about.
630
01:25:31,034 --> 01:25:34,242
-What do you think?
-I do not know.
631
01:25:37,576 --> 01:25:40,034
Is that your dam?
632
01:25:41,576 --> 01:25:44,659
-Yeah. -It
is rubbish.
633
01:25:45,909 --> 01:25:47,910
Cheers.
634
01:25:49,535 --> 01:25:51,535
I got you this.
635
01:25:51,618 --> 01:25:55,118
Can I have his bike instead?
636
01:25:59,160 --> 01:26:01,243
Right, let's get you across.
637
01:27:45,413 --> 01:27:49,080
I know what I wanna
do for my birthday.
638
01:27:49,163 --> 01:27:52,246
I want Clint to blow up my shed.
639
01:27:52,330 --> 01:27:54,538
Sorry.
640
01:28:30,247 --> 01:28:32,914
You alright?
641
01:28:39,831 --> 01:28:44,206
Anna. There is a young man
here to see you.
642
01:28:46,331 --> 01:28:48,998
I'll leave you to it.
643
01:28:56,956 --> 01:28:59,665
You can come in.
644
01:29:01,998 --> 01:29:04,623
Nice shed.
645
01:29:06,248 --> 01:29:12,332
It looks like Stanley Kubrik boxes.
He used to keep everything from his films in boxes.
646
01:29:12,415 --> 01:29:16,082
Like meticulously. All sorts of shit.
647
01:29:16,165 --> 01:29:19,957
People said, it was a sign of
his genius, so ...
648
01:29:21,374 --> 01:29:26,041
Let's just hope it doesn't mean you fuck up your
next film by denying the audience what they want.
649
01:29:26,124 --> 01:29:30,832
What do they want? -To see Nicole
Kidman's chumba-wumbas.
650
01:29:33,499 --> 01:29:39,208
Did you actually just laugh at something I said?
And there was noone here to witness it.
651
01:29:39,291 --> 01:29:41,833
That is annoying!
652
01:29:42,958 --> 01:29:46,333
-I've got you a present. -It's not
a deformed carrot, is it?
653
01:29:46,416 --> 01:29:47,916
No, it's not a deformed carrot.
654
01:30:05,708 --> 01:30:07,292
Thank you.
655
01:30:57,668 --> 01:30:59,918
Congratulations.
656
01:32:37,296 --> 01:32:43,863
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