All language subtitles for Stripped Los Angeles.English

[soft music]

- The act of dancing
is so different

than any other creative
media that I do

because it involves
your whole body.

You can work through almost
emotional and physical problems,

more so than with any other
kind of artistic media.

- Pole dancing saved my life

because I was on the
verge of suicide.

Pole is all about trust.

You have to learn how
to trust yourself,

to know that you got your back,

that you're not gonna
let yourself fall.

It teaches you how
to control yourself,

how to control your
body, your emotions.

- [Erica] I do like
transforming myself.

I consider performers artists.
We're forms of chameleons.

Pole dancing is
incredibly empowering.

Being sexy is just one
of the perks about it.

- I love what I
do for my family.

And even though the money
is coming from dancing,

my family doesn't really care.

It's like, as long as I'm not
on drugs, I'm not in jail.

I'm not a thief, or anything
like that, or a liar,

they have nothing
to worry about.

- I got my master's degree
in couples and family therapy

with a specialization
in sex therapy.

When I dance, when I'm
working in the strip club,

I really do enjoy it.

- [Announcer] All right,
guys, it is that time.

Check out the one
and only Della.

- I remember before
I was ever a stripper

before I ever did porn,

I still had these
preconceived notions about

who these people were,

why they were doing it,
and what it must be like.

And I will admit that they
were negative opinions

a lot of the time.

[soft music]

- Morningside.

I went to Morningside
High School

from ninth grade to 12th grade.

I graduated there, thank
God, got my diploma.

And I was in AP classes from
ninth through 12th grade

honors classes.

I got Principal's Award twice.

So if you guys don't
know what that is,

I reached a 4.0 GPA.

Also, honor roll every time,

every semester I got honor roll.

I had to get honor roll
it was like a must.

[dramatic music]

- When I was 14 years old,

I was going to high school
in Lexington, Kentucky.

I always was involved in some
form of recreational activity,

whether if it was like
sports, or dance, gymnastics,

but when I hit high school,

I started to do more
theatrical things.

So I was exploring the
arts in a different way.

[soft music]

- My grandpa served in the Army.

Both my parents
were in the Army.

All of my uncles
were in the Army.

And then me and my mom are
the only females in my family

that were in the service, so I
swore in on my 18th birthday.

[soft music]

- I got my first
job when I was 16,

and that was kind of one
of my first opportunities

to have a little bit of freedom.

And it was at a
Christian bookstore,
if you can believe it.

And it really gave me a
chance to grow as a person,

and kind of expand and have
a little bit of autonomy.

[soft music]

- I lost my virginity
at 13 or 14.

I had a crush on
this boy from school,

and he had these
two girlfriends,

and we decided to like have
a sleepover at my house.

And because I had a
step-brother at the time,

I just told my dad that
the guy was his friend,

and that they were
gonna hang out.

We got a little drunk and
one thing led to another.

And, yeah, next thing I
knew I'm like having like

a foursome with like two
other chicks and this guy.

[soft music]

- I started dancing in a
strip club for the first time

when I was living
in San Francisco,

and it was after grad school,

I was working part-time doing
some mental health stuff,

but San Francisco
is very expensive.

It's not enough
to support myself.

Working in a club certainly
did have an impact,

both good and bad on kind of
my sense of self, sexually,

my body image, all those
things that are wrapped up

when you are a willing
participant in being
a sexual object.

One of the challenges that
I really found dancing

is the emotional labor

of interacting with
customers on that level

because you're creating

this instantaneous
connection with someone,

and it is a monetary
transactional relationship.

[soft music]

- My mom's sister used to strip,

and she would talk
to me about it.

So it was always something

that I was kind of like
interested in doing,

and could see myself
doing in the future.

And then when I moved from
Pasadena to Hollywood,

when I was 18, 19, a lot
of my friends out here

made money modeling
and stripping,

so I just kind of
glamorized it in my head.

[soft music]

- I got into exotic dancing
and stripping out of necessity.

Like when I started
pole dancing,

I never thought in a million
years that I would ever,

ever be dancing as a stripper,

like stripping, or
performing, period.

And I get VA benefits because
I'm a disabled Veteran,

but it just wasn't enough
for me to sustain myself.

I was at least 175 pounds,

and I started pole dancing
when I was 200 pounds.

It was very stressful already

not being comfortable
with my body weight.

It takes a lot of practice,
and every time you dance,

you get better and better
and better and better,

nothing's overnight,

so you can't just expect
to walk into the club,

get on the stage, and
look like a million bucks

if you've never practiced.

[soft music]

- So when I was 19, I was
going to University of Kentucky

studying French and theater.

I wanted to be
independent financially,

so I entered a amateur contest
in Lexington, Kentucky,

and I did end up winning.

And part of winning
was they gave you

a decent amount of money
back then, and a job.

[soft music]

So I really put a lot of
time into mastering my craft,

and the fact that
we're doing this

in like eight inch
heels, and a G-string,

I mean, that's
magic straight up.

[soft music]

[applause]

- I would appreciate it if
you guys didn't screenshot.

If I see any screenshots,

I will remove you as a friend,

and you won't see
anything, okay?

Just chill and watch the show.

[soft music]

Back in summer of 2016,
I downloaded Periscope,

and I'm like, hmm, this
app is pretty cool.

Let me see what
I can do on here.

[soft music]

People from Periscope

were coming to buy
my premium Snapchat.

In a day I'll probably
be making like $1,200.

So I'm figuring out how
can I make more money?

Let me go just take
some dancing class,

and see where this goes.

And maybe I'll
become a stripper.

[soft music]

So it was like never my thought

to completely just go to a club,

but it was just at
least learn a skill,

'cause if you can't do
anything with your life,

please learn a skill because
it will come in handy.

- It was not even comparable,

the amount of money
you can make dancing

versus what I was doing.

I was a cocktail hostess
at a bourbon and cigar bar.

A paycheck from doing
that kind of job

I would make one
night in dancing.

- I'm not the most popular
stripper out there,

so I don't make as
much money as a girl

whose like a conventionally
beautiful white girl,

beautiful hair,
blonde, brunette,

minimal tattoos, slender body.

Those type of girls they
easily make $700,000 a year.

- I never made $1,000 in the
night, but I've come close.

[upbeat music]

- When you listen to a song
and you get on the pole,

the magic just happens

because you don't want
to think too much.

You just want to
let your body move

the way it's telling you to.

- All right, guys,
it is that time.

Check out the hottie
with a body,

Cinderella-like Bella.

This is the one and only
Della on main stage.

- The artistry of stripping,

when you talk about
just the dance itself,

the teasing, the seductiveness,

everyone has a little bit
different way of doing it.

I tend to be very sensual
myself just kind of in my life.

And that definitely
translates onto stage.

[soft music]

- [Erica] And I definitely
believe that when I'm dancing,

I am acting, I am performing.

I don't think any other
dancer would deny that.

- I don't feel like I would
be able to handle life

if I couldn't pole dance
'cause when I'm on the pole,

it's just like all my
problems like melt away.

Whatever issues I have
going on in my head

they like disappear
for that moment.

- And I frickin' like
get high off of it,

especially if I'm dancing,

and someone comes from the back
of the club to come tip me,

or they're getting a drink,

and they come all the way
to the stage to come tip me,

it makes me feel
really, really good,

like I'm doing a superb job.

[soft music]

- [Erica] Yeah, the lines
may get a little blurred

as opposed to exotic
dancing versus burlesque.

There's not necessarily
a difference for me.

I also tie musical theater
and burlesque in together,

and stripping, like it all
comes around full circle.

You look at Bob
Fosse choreography.

We're literally
doing the same thing.

- [Nikki] The act of
dancing is so different

than any other creative
media that I do

because it involves
your whole body.

And I feel like you can work
through almost emotional,

and physical problems more so

than with any other
kind of artistic media.

[soft music]

- Anything worth having
is worth working for,

and that includes pole skills.

It's all about your
stage presence.

How you walk, how you move,

how you give eye
contact to the crowd,

and what you're
doing on the floor,

how you walk around the
pole, your sex appeal,

and just the more you
feel free and comfortable,

the easier it gets.

- [Erica] Why I like it is
because it's so dynamic.

It's like, you're
up, you're down.

You're in a triangle, now
you're in a 180 degree line.

I'm literally playing
with gravity and physics

when I'm up there.

[soft music]

- The best thing about pole
dancing, and dancing in general

is that there's always
something to be learned.

You could be at a level 10,

and learn something from
somebody at a level one,

'cause we all have our style.

We all have our flow,

and everybody's style
and flow is different.

[soft music]

- The way I dance
is very sexual.

I don't want to call
it a mating call,

but in a sense it's
almost like a mating call.

A mating call for money.

[upbeat music]

- Stripping is the
highest pressure sales job

you're ever gonna have
because you are dealing with

a highly critical customer
base already, most likely.

And then you're,
also, you're selling

literally are selling yourself
and not just your body,

but you're selling
the experience,

not just the beauty
of your body.

You could be the most
beautiful girl in the club,

most perfect tits, most
perfect hair, everything,

and if you've got
a shitty attitude,

you don't know how to
carry on a conversation,

and all you want is that
money from that person.

and you make it very obvious,
you're not gonna make money.

It's not gonna happen.

- You can't just say,
hey, you want to dance?

You have to like sweet talk,

like, hey, you want
to go to the back?

And I'll give you a fun time,

or just say like, you
want to see the sparkles?

Like you want to
see something like

that you can't even
describe, basically,

so they'll be intrigued
trying to see what can you do?

What do you have for me?

- Now, if you're a
girl that does extras,

then you're going to make more

than a girl who doesn't
do anything right off with

'cause a lot of guys
are going in there,

and they're looking for
more than just a lap dance.

They're looking to fuck,
get their dick sucked.

They're just trying
to get the rocks off.

So they're gonna, how much?

How much for what?

Pussy.

Oh, I don't do that.

Oh, well, uh, I might get
that lap dance, I might not.

Uh, come back later.

So you don't want the lap dance

just because I said
I don't do extras.

So when you do see that nigga
leave to go get a lap dance

with somebody, whoever he's
leaving with does extras.

- The amount of
propositions I've had,

and sometimes in my life

where like I really could
use some extra money,

I really wish I had it in me

to

fulfill whatever the client
needs, and I do not, I do not.

- One of the reasons I
wanted to be a therapist

is because I wanted
to help people.

And I do genuinely enjoy
giving and helping people.

So if giving a lap dance
is helping someone,

I'll do it if you pay me.

[dramatic music]

- I would say that social
media has made it easier for me

to dance on a more
consistent basis,

and experience those feelings
at home, or any time I want.

Being able to express
myself with dance

for people at any
time of the day

whenever I feel like it
is pretty incredible.

[upbeat music]

- It really feels necessary to
have a social media presence,

to be active with it, and to
interact with fans, followers,

whatever you may call them

to be really successful
as an adult performer,

as a model, as a stripper,
as a brand ambassador.

One of the things that I find
really interesting/satisfying

is considering the audience,

and thinking about the
voyeuristic aspect of it.

They may not have access
to be with someone like me,

or any of the other
performers or women out there

that provide this kind
of content in person,

so it's a available way for
them to experience pleasure.

[soft music]

- So my favorite part about
going through the carwash

at the gas station is that

no one is outside of
my car washing it,

so I would normally
pull out my phone,

turn on the light and
set it up just right.

And people go crazy when I
do that 'cause they're like,

oh, my God, I wish I
was at that gas station.

Where is that gas station?

They just want to find me.

I get a clean car, and I
get to make some side money,

and orgasm to start the day.

[upbeat music]

- A lot of times I'll
work with photographers

that give me the
images to edit myself

because I use Adobe programs
for color editing and stuff.

And I have full creative
freedom when it comes to making

more artistic erotic stuff
that pushes the envelope.

The way it's colored,
the lighting, the outfit,

it's all calculated.

It it's so much fun

because it takes the art
to a whole other level.

[upbeat music]

- I just ignore my
DMs on Instagram.

I started working
on my Instagram just
about two years ago,

and I've grown it all
myself organically.

In some ways I'm
like, holy shit,

100,000 people are
watching everything I post.

- I'd say that was close,
but on my squat nine.

- 'Cause the first
eight went really well.

- Hello Netherlands.

Oh, hi Dublin, Ireland.

I live in Los Angeles, Chris.

I like to interact with my fans.

And one of the ways I do it
is I do an Instagram live,

and I'll do it while I'm
getting ready for my day,

so while I'm doing my makeup.

And this has been some of the
feedback that I've gotten.

It's been a really cool
way for people to see

another side of me,

and be real,

be authentic.

What am I gonna
be for Halloween?

I'm going to be a stripper
'cause that's what I am.

Thank you. Bye guys.

- I usually up anywhere
from six a.m. to eight.

I need to get my
thoughts gathered.

Need to get on Instagram
make my daily morning posts.

[soft music]

- Social media was something
that I really dived into

when I moved to Los Angeles.

It's incredibly powerful,

and I've started to use
it for my advantage.

I am in a city that runs
literally off entertainment.

So it's like I will constantly
be advertising my shows.

Eventually like I'll
have someone that
follows up with like,

hey, I would love
to train with you,

or, hey, like, are you
available for a booking?

I have people that
come across my page,

and literally booked
me off my page.

I'm not a fucking diva.

I'm not a fuckin' diva.

This has too much milk in it.

[laughing]

[rock and roll music]

I love to go-go dancing, I do.

Go-go dancing is a
little harder on my body.

And that's because
like I have to dance

for about 45 minutes
that's nonstop,

but it's a different
form of dance,

so I like to challenge myself,

and it keeps the Sunset
Strip vibe alive.

[heavy metal music]

When you are dancing
with live music,

and particularly rock
music, heavy metal music,

you have no choice, but to
absolutely 100% fully commit.

[heavy metal music]

- How I got into
teaching was I started by

teaching private pole dancing
lessons out of my house.

So girls would see
me at the club,

and most of my
clients were strippers

because I'm a stripper,

and I bust my pole
dancing out at the club.

So the girls would see
me and they'll be like,

whoa, I don't dance
anything like that.

I want you to teach me.

I want you to teach me
how to do these moves.

I'll pay you to teach
me. Can you do that?

I'm like, hell yeah,
give me your money, no.

I'll teach you because it's
fun for me, it's enjoyable.

I know how I feel on the pole,

so why not help somebody
else feel that way.

- Lord.

- Yeah.

[funky music]

- In order to be a millionaire,

you got to have different
multiple ways of income.

So one of my ways is camming.

And I can't keep cam at home
because I live with my family.

So I would normally book
a room, have my lights,

get my computer,
grab all my toys.

So, when I get to the room
I like set up my cameras,

make sure the lighting is good

'cause you cannot film
with horrible lighting.

I just feel freedom,

like, oh, my God, I
could do whatever I want.

Hey everybody, make sure
you come check me out

on my free cams tonight.

My username is SiziSevXX,

and we could have
some fun together.

- When I first got into
the adult industry,

I didn't have that
many restrictions

as far as the type of
scenes that I would shoot.

So I did regular boy,
girl. I did anal.

I did like a glory hole scene.

So kind of like a blow bang.

So basically it's just, I'm
sucking a bunch of dicks.

So pretty basic content.

[moaning]

- [Nikki] Doing porn
has definitely helped me

with my dancing career.

It's boosted my social
media and my branding,

and has made it easier for me

to get more people
to come see me.

I have more porn fans that
want to come see me dance,

which is awesome.

[funky music]

- But now I'm doing just
kind of my own stuff.

It's cool because
I do get to dictate

who I'm gonna shoot with,
when I'm gonna shoot it,

where I'm gonna shoot it,

and what kind of scene
I'm going to do myself.

I'm the one that's
really dictating

what it's going to look like
in the finished process.

And a lot of times

it's pretty simple
stuff that I do myself,

but there is that
sense of freedom,

which is becoming
a theme in my life.

- You never go in
someplace like complaining.

You never go whining.
You just go happy vibe.

And I can do all
that jump on the bed,

or whatever I want to,

to get them engaged
in my personality and
I get them hooked.

And then I'll lead to like
a little sexier dancing,

or moving my ass slow
like stripper moves.

If you've ever seen a dancer

that just doesn't
really do pole tricks,

but she does floor work.

That's what I would do
to get them intrigued,

but camming is like a job.

You really have to
be on there hours.

Do not think that you're
gonna go on there,

make like $5,000
in a fucking hour.

No, this is like
an eight hour day.

I'm taking over a
Redtube's Snapchat,

and they have like 8,000 people
watching my snaps right now.

So I'm bound to get some
new fans from 8,000 people.

- I am a pole dance instructor.

I love training my student
Jeffrey, he's an actor.

He got booked to be a male
stripper at a big party.

He was just so open
and vulnerable.

It was really
refreshing to see that

because you have a lot of
people that are like closed off

when it comes to stripping,

but he was really
interested in learning,

and taking it seriously.

- I do feel like some
of the scenes that I did

contributed to me
becoming known.

I don't like to say
famous, being known.

There's a lot of really cool
opportunities for me to have

various ways that I make money.

One of them might be that
I get fans that request

that I send them an eight by
10 photo and I'll autograph it.

I've also had some fans
make artwork for me.

And I've gotten
permission to use that,

and print that
out and sell that.

- Exactly, so you pull
yourself back up, nice,

Beautiful.

Miranda is another
client of mine

who actually did find
me on social media.

So she also is an exotic dancer.

So she's self-taught
and she's phenomenal.

She was coming to me to
help her clean things up,

and get technical.

Pole dancing is
incredibly empowering.

Being sexy is just one
of the perks about it.

- [Sizi] So dancing and
porn are like kind of like

a nice match made in heaven.

I have to like
basically promote myself

because there's girls
doing the exact same thing

that I'm doing so
you have to make sure

that your stuff is
top of the notch,

it's different, and it's unique,

or you're just gonna
be another person

playing with your pussy online.

- I thoroughly enjoy doing porn.

I love having sex,

and being able to work
with awesome performers,

and great directors
is so much fun

because I mean, I'm still
creating something cool.

It takes a certain kind of
person to be in the industry

like they really are people
that truly don't give a fuck

what other people think.

And I absolutely love that
because living in L.A.

there are so many phony people

like their whole life
is revolving around

like what other people think.

And porn stars are just
kind of like here it is.

If you don't like it, I
don't really give a shit.

And I fucking love that.

It's so bold and
brave and out there.

It's probably the most out
there shit you could do.

And a lot of people
take offense to it,

and I understand that,

but the majority of those
people also watch porn.

- I was teaching for
about a year in my house.

Then an audition for a
Romance and Dance came up.

The environment is very nice.

It's friendly, it's fun, it's
ratchet, but it's ratchet fun.

And the students
are a fucking trip.

For your fireman

you're gonna have
your inside hand high.

Outside hand comes across.

This is your pull,
this is your push.

So as you're pulling your
body up with this hand,

you're pushing your body away
from the pole with this arm.

Each student is different.

You have your confidence
students who come in,

and like, I got this shit.

Then you have your shy
students who are like,

I don't want you to look at me,

and then I'll have
to turn around,

but I'll be peeking in the
mirror and they be hitting it.

Boom.

Step, outside leg, step.

And then we're gonna
go onto a pirouette.

Make sure you're on your
tippy-toes, tippy-toes.

Don't let the pole work
you, you work the pole,

not the other way around.

It's a very rewarding feeling
to see your students do moves

that you taught them and to
see them perfect the move,

so it's like a
visual manifestation

of all your personal
hard work going,

and being transferred
into somebody else.

And now I can look
at my students,

and be in awe when
I see them dance

'cause I'm just like
I taught you that.

I did that for you.

[electronic music]

- When I feel like my place
is on point and it's clean,

I feel not just better
about myself and my place,

but I feel more
motivated to do things.

And it's easier for me

because my mind isn't
cluttered with actual clutter.

The ritual of cleaning and
like physically cleaning

is very therapeutic because
it's almost like meditating.

It's like you're not
really thinking about

anything other than what you're
doing at that very moment,

which is cleaning.

It's a lot easier to just
kind of put on some music,

get stoned, jam
out, and then clean.

[electronic music]

- I've changed my
hair and my look

so many times
throughout my life.

I like to push myself
out of my comfort zone,

push myself in my own abilities,

and my own discipline
in achieving goals.

And this feels like
just kind of another way

that I kind of push
myself to take a risk.

So, I like that and I
trust Randall to do it

because he's one of
my very good friends.

[soft music]

- I like wigs, I love wigs

'cause they allow me to just
take a break from my own hair.

It's like once you put a wig
on, or change your hair up,

you become like a
totally new person.

You can go from basic to batty.

Basic to working that
shit, fierce as fuck.

Especially when you're dancing,
and you have your hair on,

and you're just
whipping that shit,

ba, ba, ba, side to side.

And then it just gives off a
whole new aura about yourself.

[electronic music]

- As a dancer and entertainer,
I feel like it is a must

that you get a mani pedi
every two weeks to three weeks

to stay on top and stay clean

because those guys are going
to be looking at your feet,

nice soft feet, clean.

[electronic music]

It actually helps
boost my confidence

when I have my nails done

because I feel like I have
like old people hands.

So having my nails
just makes me feel

more in tune with my youngness.

- I do like transforming myself.

I consider performers artists.

We're forms of
chameleons, we blend in.

So you have like
my everyday look,

but then you have
my performance look.

So when I start to
put my warpaint on,

I literally am preparing
myself for battle,

and battle is usually the stage.

[dramatic music]

- I served in the Navy about
three years and 10 months.

So two months shy of four years.

I was on the USS Ronald
Reagan, so that was my ship.

So if you've ever seen
those commercials Go Navy,

or something like that,

that's my ship, the
aircraft carrier.

The biggest ship
there was my ship.

And then I got gang-raped,

and then I had to
get off the ship.

- But when I was 15, going
on 16, my father passed away.

And that really

changed my life as far
as where I was living.

And

it really, it
happened unexpectedly.

So literally my life
changed overnight.

- So growing up as a kid, I
went through a lot of drama.

And I went through
like molestation.

I went through like getting
kidnapped type of stuff

with my own grandfather.

And I was exposed to
a lot of adult things.

If I were to see my grandfather,
I would just tell him like,

you're fucked up,
like you're wrong.

Why did you touch me?
Why did you do that?

And it's more fucked up
because it wasn't just me,

like he touched my aunties
before me, my mom, you know?

So it was just crazy,
like I just, I don't know.

I wouldn't even give him
my energy, to be honest.

I wouldn't even talk to him.

- I was hanging out
with this dude that

he's a contractor, but
the last time we hung out,

he had his friend with him,
and it was cool and what-not.

♪ But this ain't no dream
no this ain't no fairytale ♪

We went back to his place.

Yeah, him and his friend
took full advantage of me

while I was drunk.

♪ And my life is
something you dismissed ♪

♪ But not knowing what
because I refuse to die ♪

♪ And I got you so
I refuse to cry ♪

[sobbing]

I remember the whole thing.

And it was like, I was
crying and saying, man,

I was looking at him
straight in his eyes.

And I told him to
stop and he wouldn't.

And it's like they took turns.

- And it was my
uncle who told me.

And he didn't even
look at me in the face.

He told me while I was
in the backseat of a car

that my father passed away.

I just froze and went
numb, absolutely,

but then there was something
that snapped in me.

I started to get into partying,

and definitely not
that kind of party

you think that a
16-year-old should be doing.

- And like, I feel
like that whole thing

just fuckin' ruined
my military career

'cause I got discharged

because I got PTSD
from what happened.

'Cause I didn't want
anybody to fuckin' touch me,

I didn't get a rape kit
done, which is like,

I feel like one of the
biggest regrets of my life

because without that rape kit
nothing could happen to them.

- I grew up in a very
conservative Christian family.

My parents are still married.

And also because I
was homeschooled,

I was homeschooled all 12
years my entire schooling.

It often feels sometimes

like I don't relate to
people of my own age.

There's really this feeling of

really pervasive
kind of frustration,

just feeling really restricted,

feeling like I didn't have
any choice in how I thought.

I wasn't allowed to date.

I really wasn't even
allowed to have friends

of the opposite gender.

The nuclear family
is what is right,

being straight is right.

God is gonna punish you

if you don't adhere
to these guidelines.

[soft music]

- I was a hermit
for almost a year.

I stayed in the house,
I didn't go out.

I got fat because like I
didn't want to go outside.

And all I was
eating was Domino's

'cause they bring
that shit to you.

I couldn't handle being in
crowds, being around people.

And then I went out by
myself without a friend,

and I took a pole dancing class,

and my life was like
changed from that day.

Pole dancing saved my life

because I was on the
verge of suicide.

- I've had people say
to me, oh, your behavior

it's just because
you're rebelling

against your strict
upbringing, it's so typical.

And that is a lot of negativity
that I've heard from people.

And, typically, it's from people

who frankly have no fucking
idea what they're talking about.

They're not in the
sex-positive community.

They don't even know
anyone whose a stripper.

The closest thing they've
seen to a stripper

is watching it on TV.

- You can never judge somebody
just by their appearances.

You got to actually take
your time to know somebody,

and see what they've
been through.

[soft music]

♪ Why you bitches playin' mean ♪

♪ You know my hands
be slapping B's ♪

♪ I fight you bitch
don't test me please ♪

♪ I take you down like gravity ♪

So I sing and I rap.

So I usually rap about
shit in the strip club.

And if somebody pisses
me off, I write about it.

So right now I'm working with
a producer out here in L.A.

His name is Mega Hands.

We're working on
a song right now.

He's making my beat,

and I'm working on
writing some lyrics up,

and hopefully it
turns out really good.

So far I like what we got going.

♪ I'm bound by money yeah
I need it right now ♪

♪ I'm a hustle I'm a grind
by the sweat of my brow ♪

♪ I'm a hustlin' yeah I'm
shaking my ass making money ♪

♪ You could see it by
the sweat of my brow ♪

♪ I keep grinding yeah
I got a couple jobs ♪

♪ So a bitch don't need a
ride by the sweat of my brow ♪

♪ I stayed in my lane and
you need to stay in yours ♪

♪ To reach a goal by
the sweat of your brow ♪

♪ Woke up with the
money on my mind ♪

♪ Get up motivated
by the grind ♪

♪ Stack up I'm spending
yours never mine nigga ♪

♪ That's how you stay rich
not 'cause of crime bitch ♪

♪ I'm on my way up
top of the line ♪

♪ I'm in my prime
bitch it's so divine ♪

♪ He's taking pictures of
me 'cause I'm sublime ♪

♪ Don't need to scam oh
no just to make a dime ♪

♪ I'm making money all
day no need for crime ♪

♪ And if your nigga
payin' that's for my time ♪

♪ You want to be my
little daddy on the low ♪

♪ Uh bitch my daddy's
on the dough ♪

- [Woman] Scene one, take one.

[electronic music]

- When I'm acting it
as a form of dance.

We're literally doing a tango

because you take my step,
and then I take yours.

I give you power, you
give me some back.

Yeah, there's an
energy exchange.

So you're not here
to interrogate me?

- No.
- No.

- Pointing to a
space photograph.

What's it say? Read it.

- This is a black hole.
It consumes matter.

Sucks it in and crushes
it to non-existence.

This is a black hole.

It consumes matter, sucks
it in and crushes it.

Learning lines is very
personal and intimate for me

because I have to
go places in my head

that are very hard for me.

I have to go places emotionally.

You're literally seeing it
raw, pure, uncut, stripped.

- He's a cop. You're a crook.

Is he interrogating
you? Yes and no.

What did he just say to you?

- I've known Jim
for about a year,

and I do trust him, absolutely.

- [Man] Is this making sense?

- Yeah, no, I forgot how
many deep questions you ask,

and then I do start
to get analytical,

and then I'm like, oh, fuck.

I've even lost myself in the
black hole at this point.

- [Man] Yeah.

- This is a safe place
to expose yourself.

Just strip yourself down

because you are literally
letting it all hang out.

- [Man] To the couch sit down.

- People always ask me when
they know that I do porn,

or that I strip,
what is that like?

Are people doing blow on set?

They have all these
crazy questions

because that's what they really
believe is happening on set.

And so I would say that
doing comedy helps bring

a fresh new perspective
on being in that industry.

- I've given this intro to
a lot of comedians before,

but this is the first time
it's ever actually been true.

You can see this next comedian
sucking dick on the internet.

Please put your hands together

for Nikki Knightly
everybody, Nikki.

[cheers and applause]

- I'm sure you're
probably wondering,

oh, my God, what horrible
thing happened to you

that made you get
into the industry?

I'll be completely
honest, nothing.

I'm just really,
really fuckin' slutty.

The biggest reason why there's
so many preconceived notions

about the industry is because
girls don't talk about

what it's like to
be in the industry.

I tried to have a regular job,
but I wasn't very good at it,

but that's okay because I'm
great at a lot of other jobs

like hand jobs, and blow
jobs, front jobs, boob jobs.

I mean the list
literally goes on and on.

I don't know if this is a girl
thing or what the deal is,

but I was shooting with a
girl and she was like, hey,

can you spit in my mouth?

Sure, yeah, I can
do that for sure.

I can for sure
spit in your mouth.

And then she was like,
can I spit in your mouth?

I'm like, I have a lot
of spit in my mouth.

So I'm also an exotic dancer.

I know what you're thinking.

Oh, my God, you're so talented.

[laughter]

So it's awesome to be able to
not only make people laugh,

but educate people on a
level that makes them think,

oh, okay, wow,
yeah, she does that,

and she actually
enjoys doing it,

and like that seems really
cool, as opposed to like,

oh, God, her life is
probably all fucked up,

and she's all
depressed and messed up

because she's selling
her body for money,

and she thinks
she's a sex object.

That's not true.
That's not how I feel.

Hopefully you guys look me up,

and masturbate to
me after the show.

Thank you so much.

[cheers and applause]

- Nikki Knightly everybody, keep
it going for Nikki Knightly.

Get off your phones it's rude.

[electronic music]

- So I've been like lately
taking time for myself,

genuinely enjoying being alone,

and talking to myself, but
not like in a crazy way,

but just doing
affirmations to myself,

letting myself know
that I'm grounded.

I am beautiful. I'm confident.

All of those things and
believe those things,

and those things have been
just like surfacing in my life.

And that just became my
reality. And I love being alone.

Like I don't mind going
to the beach by myself.

I need that sometimes when
I'm moving around a lot,

I just need to go to the beach
and have some like me time.

So I don't want to do
porn in the next few years

because I don't feel like that
is my personality anymore.

I want to just be
flowing with the universe

'cause you can't be sad
and upset and depressed

when you're just one
with the universe.

♪ I can't wait to bury you ♪

♪ Just another
notch in my belt ♪

♪ Just another story to tell ♪

♪ Bloody blades and empty eyes ♪

♪ Muffled screams ♪

♪ And convenient lies ♪

My love of music is something

that has always
been a part of me.

I am in a band called
Dirty Lovely Creatures,

and it has been awesome.

It's only the second band

that I've actually ever
been in besides choir.

I don't know if you can
count choir as a band.

- This is "Bury You" take one.

- I love being able
to come into a session

with maybe some
lyrics and a tune,

and it flushes out
to a real song,

and it's just really,
really gratifying.

♪ I can't wait to bury you ♪

♪ Just another
notch in my belt ♪

♪ Just another story to tell ♪

♪ Bloody blades and empty eyes ♪

♪ Muffled screams ♪

♪ Convenient lies ♪

- This is the
beautiful Della Dane.

Everybody say, hello, Della.

- [Man] Hello nurse.

- And when you put
us all together,

we are called Dirty
Lovely Creatures.

- [Man] And aren't we all.

- I love playing live music.
I love being on stage.

I love getting a chance to
express myself through a song.

Whether that's a song I
wrote, someone else wrote,

or I have some sort of
collaborative process.

[dramatic music]

- Pole dancing is like
the most addictive drug

that I've ever been on
because I could be free.

It's just me, the
music and the pole.

I'm just looking at the ceiling,

and how fast it's
spinning around,

and otherworldly my body
gets a little tingle.

- I struggle in most
places in my life

in finding balance.

Get them up, come
up get them up.

- [Man] Bounce them.

- There you go.

- [Woman] You have some
of the best natural boobs

I've ever seen, this is one
of my boobs, but you know.

- I think it's gonna be
kind of a constant process.

A lot of us are trying to
balance these multiple demands

on our personalities,
our responsibilities,

and then our public persona.

And you might be partying and
drinking and getting drunk,

and God knows what.

So we all have different realms

where we are different people.

[electronic music]

- [Man] Hey, Christina,
I got some Whip-its

if you guys want
to do some with me.

[electronic music]

- Happy birthday.

As far as the Whip-its go,

if I have some people
over or something.

I think it's okay and fun
to do that once in a while.

Definitely not something you
should do on a regular basis

'cause it kills
your brain cells.

- Sometimes we'll have
our little parties,

come to my house,
or their house,

and we'll fuck around on the
pole, get drunk, or what-not,

and we're just partying for us.

Our parties be so lit
walkin' on the ceiling,

and just holding onto the
pole with just our hands.

No feet, no legs, just hands,
not even arms, just hands.

Who can do that? Who do
you know can do that?

Nobody.

Your friends be basic. My
friends be bad bitches.

That's just how it goes.

[electronic music]

- [Nikki] Marijuana
to me is medicinal.

It helps with my
anxiety, my depression,

social anxiety, helps
me sleep at night.

I wouldn't consider weed
as a party drug personally.

[electronic music]

- So now that I smoke
marijuana, now that I'm older,

I've been smoking it for years.

I have grown a higher
tolerance for marijuana.

So I'll even have
breathing like techniques

while I'm smoking so
I can like utilize it.

Like when I'm rolling my
blunt I have my intentions.

I don't just roll it.

I have thoughts that
I'm thinking about
when I'm rolling it,

how I want to feel, so I can't
just do it unconsciously.

I have to set it
before I smoke it.

[upbeat music]

- [Bama] I like to
smoke all day every day,

but I normally when I get up,
I usually roll me a blunt.

I have about three, four trays
that I use interchangeably.

[upbeat music]

- [Erica] Marijuana is
definitely medicine.

And when I moved to
California from Kentucky

coming from a red state,
completely mind blowing.

If I had a choice between
like a beer or a joint,

I'm probably gonna go
with a joint, yeah.

Alcohol is not the
best for athletes.

- There's a lot of
alcoholics in my family.

A lot of people have died
from alcoholism in my family.

When I was in my younger 20s

I definitely had a bit
of a drinking problem.

I would drink and not
know when to stop,

or not want to stop,
and I would black out,

and find myself in very
precocious situations.

- When I went to rehab, I
felt as if I got to address

some of those issues I
experienced as a child,

from losing my dad
to substance abuse,

watching my mom go to rehab,

and just dealing with all
the pain I experienced,

and finally getting a
chance to address it.

So I'm glad I went and I'm
glad I haven't had to go back.

[electronic music]

- In the morning I'll get
up stretch a little bit

because I have to go to work.

Obviously, I work
at a pole studio,

so I don't want to be
going in there all cold,

and lacking 'cause I
got warm up there, too,

but I like to get all my
morning stretches out the way.

Give my neck a little twirl
back and forth, side to side.

[soft music]

- [Man] Stand fast,
that's still too light.

You can do 12, two.

Yeah, one more.

Good.

- [Della] This new approach
that I'm taking to my health,

my fitness certainly
feels more sustainable.

And it's really what
I've been seeking.

- Pause, and then we control
forward and then we stand up,

bring the hips
forward, there you go.

Good.

Seven, four, five, six,

seven, eight, nine, and 10.

- So I had always thought about

doing a bodybuilding
competition,

and it was a really,
really tough process

when it's so all-consuming,
and you are literally

just down to the most
minute detail on your body,

it's really, really difficult
for that not to impact you.

[soft music]

- [Erica] I really like tattoos

because it's another
form of storytelling.

So my back piece was
something I started,

actually, when I
got out of rehab.

And it was like a
rite of passage,

and like a little
chapter in my life.

I always kind of
put tattoos on me

when I'm making a
turning point in my life.

[soft music]

- When I'm driving around
in my little Toyota car,

I just feel good, I don't
care whose watching me.

That's like my own little club.

Driving down the streets I
used to walk on as a kid.

Now you're older, you got a car.

It's like bliss, like
wow, time has flown by.

I got my car now,
I'm not on a bus.

So I can do whatever,

kick people out your car if
you want 'cause it's your car.

[soft music]

- [Nikki] I started
going to music festivals

a couple years ago,
probably when I was like 24.

I've always loved music.

I would say music and dance
are heavily correlated.

Part of the high of dancing
is dancing to music you like.

It's almost like a community
of like some of the best people

with some of the
best music playing.

Everybody is just happy
and loving and caring.

And for a weekend you
live in this fantasy world

where people are actually
kind of nice to each other.

[soft music]

- Come here baby, come here.

I have many loves in
my life right now.

I feel very fortunate.

One is Mew Mew my teacup
Chihuahua rescue dog

that I got less than a year ago.

And she is amazing.
She is my little angel.

I take her almost
everywhere with me.

I struggle with
depression a lot,

and not wanting to
like leave the house.

And she's just so sweet. She
just gives me so much love.

And that's the thing
that's great about dogs.

They're amazing. They
love you unconditionally.

And she's the best.
I love her so much.

And then I have
Penelope my black cat.

She was my first pet
that was solely mine.

Penelope can be kind
of a bitch sometimes.

She's peed on a lot of my
stuff, but I do love her.

She's a great cat. She's
got such a personality.

- My cat Honey, he's so cute.

He's a little gray cat.

I don't know if he's a
Russian Blue or Korot.

I think he's a Korot because
he yeps a lot, he talks a lot.

Mew, mew, mew, blur,
that's how he sounds.

He's so cute with
his big-ass balls.

I call them fuzzy almonds

'cause they look like
almonds with fur on them.

They're so cute.

A lot of people have
never seen cat balls

because people normally
get their cat neutered,

but my cat got some big kahunas.

- He's like I'm outta here.

My cats are my babies.

I rescued them about
two or three years ago.

I was volunteering at an
animal shelter for a while.

And the animals that
I saw that were just

because they weren't cute
enough people didn't love them.

Animals are like people to me.

That's why I don't eat meat

because I truly believe
that sentient beings

have personalities and feelings,

and are more complex
emotionally than we realize,

or want to believe.

My cat's names
are Milo and Otis.

They're incredible, and
they make me so happy.

They're so therapeutic
for me when I feel lonely,

or I'm having boy problems.

I have two boys right
here that love me so much,

and bring me so much
happiness and it's nice.

It feels good to take care of
something and make them happy.

It makes me happy.

- I don't really
have an official pet,

but I have a stray cat,
and I call him Woods.

Wood was literally here the
first day I moved in here.

He was just waiting at my door.

He makes me so happy.

He is my black cat.

He knows when I'm sad,
he'll be here at my door.

Sometimes he'll stay the night

because he is a stray a
little bit feral sometimes.

And, especially, if there's
a full moon, I kid you not,

he just acts really weird,
he's great, I love him.

We can't have animals
in my building,

so I get away with
having a stray cat.

- I like how they're just there.

Like if I need something to
look at, and they're just there,

like they're alive
moving creatures.

[soft music]

Hey fishy, fishies.

[soft music]

[dramatic music]

- Over time my
sexual orientation

kind of self-identification
has changed.

And I currently
identify as queer.

Many people have different
definitions for that,

and that's kind of exactly what
the purpose of the word is,

but for me personally,
I'm attracted to people,

not genitals, so I like
to keep my options open,

I guess you could say.

- [Erica] Dancing definitely
has affected my relationships.

I always tell people this,

like I moved to Los
Angeles to have a career.

I did not move to Los
Angeles to get married.

I have had long-term
boyfriends while dancing,

and it's not easy, of
course, they get jealous,

paranoid or think that like I
am going to some crazy party,

and will hook up
with everyone there.

And as far as like dancing
and taking care of my career,

that is my focus right now.

- When I'm able to
contribute to my household,

and help my aunt
I really feel like

I'm growing into the young
woman that I am going to be.

And I feel like I'm
gonna be somebody

because there are people in
my family that are like older,

like 30, 40 staying
with their mom or dad,

and they don't contribute.

They don't help pay a bill.
They just sit there and sleep.

And I'm very proud of myself
that I don't have that in me

to just be broke,

or I don't have that in
me to not help out my aunt

'cause she got me out
of foster care you guys.

So I have to like, I
feel like I owe her that

'cause I could have
got lost in the system,

or anything could
have happened to me.

- So my grandma
bought a beach house

in Malibu about 20 years ago.

I always love being
able to go out there,

and hang out with her.

So, yeah, it was really
fun. I had a great time.

The downstairs unit,

which is where we
were hanging out,

the entire floor is hand
painted underwater theme.

So there's like coral and
fish and whales and dolphins.

And then on one of the walls,

she has me painted as a mermaid.

I love going there

because it's such a
nice tranquil place
to kind of hang out,

and like clear my mind
and I get to see family.

And then I also get to create
cool stuff while I'm there.

[electronic music]

- When all your friends
are all bad bitches,

you can all do the same things
and whatever I got, you got.

If I don't got it,
you could teach me.

If you don't got it,
I could teach you.

We're trading off, we all
a bunch of bad bitches.

Then we're all the show.
The whole group is the show.

We're all the
stars of the party.

And there's no sense of
being at the top alone.

If I'm poppin' you poppin'.

If you poppin' I'm poppin'

'cause we always
gonna be together.

We're a family, we're friends,

and I got your back, you
got my back no matter what.

As long as you're
not threatening to
fight me or kill me,

we can always be friends.

[upbeat music]

- Three years deep
in Los Angeles.

This city has absolutely
tried to kill me.

And for some reason I
just keep coming back

better and better.

I've enjoyed all the
twists and all the turns

that it's thrown to me.

I've enjoyed all the
people I've met out here,

and I'm ready to take
it to the next level.

And I have no doubts in myself
that I'm going to kick ass.

[upbeat music]

- [Bama] Pole is life.
Pole is all around healing.

It's healing from
the inside out.

Whatever struggles you
may be facing in life,

it's all temporary,

and that there's a
way to get through it.

And the healing that you get
from pole is no other healing

because you gain a family.

I came in there alone
and I left with a family.

I left with people that
love me and that support me.

- [Nikki] So I would say that

one of the most important
keys to happiness

is doing things for yourself,

and not living your
life for other people,

but living your
life for yourself,

which is why I love doing
porn, and I love dancing

because I'm not afraid
of people telling me

that they're not okay
with what I'm doing

because I'm not living for
them, I'm living for myself.

And if that's what makes me
happy, I don't care who I upset.

I love my family,

but like they want me to be
happy when it comes down to it.

Even if they don't totally
agree with what I'm doing.

I think my happiness is a
lot more important to them.

[soft music]

- I just hope that everyone
takes from my story,

that I'm a little like goofy,
positive, loving person.

And don't define me off
of how I make my money,

or how I decided to
like choose my career.

So my future self,

I think I would be into
like the hair industry,

the makeup industry,

like something that
has to do with my hands

because I feel like I can
do good hair, good makeup.

And I would like to open a
business surrounding beauty.

- For anyone who doesn't have
a personal connection to,

or hasn't done this work,
I just encourage them

to keep an open mind when
you do come across someone

because the stigma that
we carry is very heavy.

I speak out and I'm open and
transparent about what I do

simply to try to do my own
part in breaking that stigma,

but if you're someone
who is carrying

that negativity with
you, or that criticism,

I just encourage you
to try to remember

that we're all just people

moving through this world
and making our choices.

And we all need a little
empathy at the end of the day.

[soft music]

♪ I'm bound my money yeah
I need it right now ♪

♪ I'm a hustle I'm a grind
by the sweat of my brow ♪

♪ I'm a hustlin' yeah I'm
shakin' my ass making money ♪

♪ You could see it by
the sweat of my brow ♪

♪ I keep grinding yeah
I got a couple jobs ♪

♪ So a bitch don't need to
ride by the sweat of my brow ♪

♪ I stayed in my lane and
you need to stay in yours ♪

♪ To reach your goal by
the sweat of your brow ♪

♪ Woke up with the
money on my mind ♪

♪ Get up motivated
by the grind ♪

♪ Stack up I'm spending
yours never mine nigga ♪

♪ That's how you stay rich
not 'cause of crime bitch ♪

♪ I'm on my way up
top of the line ♪

♪ I'm in my prime
bitch it's so divine ♪

♪ He's taking pictures of
me 'cause I'm sublime ♪

♪ Don't need to scam oh
no just to make a dime ♪

♪ I'm making money all
day no need for crime ♪

♪ And if your nigga is
payin' it's for my time ♪

♪ Do you want to be my
little daddy on the low ♪

♪ Uh bitch my daddy's
on the dough ♪