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00:00:17,420 --> 00:00:22,420
Subtitles by explosiveskull
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00:00:23,756 --> 00:00:29,094
The first time I made someone
laugh I was in the first grade.
3
00:00:29,327 --> 00:00:32,263
It was a play,
and it was about a farm.
4
00:00:32,265 --> 00:00:33,696
And I was a cow.
5
00:00:33,698 --> 00:00:36,634
Every kid in the play
had one line.
6
00:00:36,636 --> 00:00:38,369
We would march up
to the microphone,
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00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:39,903
and say our line
and then that was it.
8
00:00:39,905 --> 00:00:41,738
I was such a little try-hard.
9
00:00:41,740 --> 00:00:44,407
I practiced my line over
and over again.
10
00:00:44,409 --> 00:00:47,677
So I could get it right and
everyone would love me.
11
00:00:47,679 --> 00:00:51,549
And by the time it was my turn,
I was so ready.
12
00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:54,418
I just marched right up
to the microphone
13
00:00:54,420 --> 00:00:58,321
and I said my line
really loud and confidently.
14
00:00:58,323 --> 00:00:59,857
What should we do?
15
00:01:01,860 --> 00:01:03,494
They just started laughing.
16
00:01:03,496 --> 00:01:06,764
That was not the reaction
I was expecting.
17
00:01:06,766 --> 00:01:08,799
I thought I had blown my shot,
18
00:01:08,801 --> 00:01:11,234
I thought I had blown
my one line.
19
00:01:11,236 --> 00:01:13,369
I was washed up at age 7,
20
00:01:13,371 --> 00:01:16,606
And I went backstage and
I was beating myself up.
21
00:01:16,608 --> 00:01:18,541
Like, "Emily, you suck...
22
00:01:18,543 --> 00:01:21,313
"Can't you go one day
without fucking something up?"
23
00:01:21,581 --> 00:01:23,681
When my mom came backstage
to congratulate me,
24
00:01:23,683 --> 00:01:25,549
I was just so upset.
25
00:01:25,551 --> 00:01:28,585
I asked her,
"Why were they laughing at me?
26
00:01:28,587 --> 00:01:29,954
"Did I do something wrong?"
27
00:01:29,956 --> 00:01:32,889
And she just smiled
and she said,
28
00:01:32,891 --> 00:01:35,993
"They weren't laughing at you
because you did something wrong.
29
00:01:35,995 --> 00:01:38,796
"They were laughing at you
because you're funny."
30
00:01:38,798 --> 00:01:40,431
It was like a light switch
31
00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:42,433
went off in my brain
and I thought,
32
00:01:42,435 --> 00:01:45,803
"Hey, if I can make people
laugh on accident,
33
00:01:45,805 --> 00:01:47,904
"maybe I could do it on purpose.
34
00:01:47,906 --> 00:01:52,177
"And I've been trying to do it
on purpose ever since."
35
00:01:58,918 --> 00:02:00,787
So, do you have some stuff
prepared for us?
36
00:02:01,319 --> 00:02:03,789
Yes, I have some characters
and some impressions.
37
00:02:04,290 --> 00:02:05,792
Great. You have one minute.
38
00:02:06,759 --> 00:02:09,525
Wait, excuse me,
I thought that we...
39
00:02:09,527 --> 00:02:11,197
I was told I had three minutes.
40
00:02:11,396 --> 00:02:13,832
You did,
but your story took so long.
41
00:02:16,002 --> 00:02:17,469
There's a lot of people waiting.
42
00:02:19,771 --> 00:02:21,537
Right, okay...
43
00:02:21,539 --> 00:02:22,741
Sure...
44
00:02:25,811 --> 00:02:30,383
This first impression is
Holly Hunter at a garage sale.
45
00:02:31,283 --> 00:02:33,750
Hi, excuse me, miss. How much is
this stainless steel serving saucer?
46
00:02:33,752 --> 00:02:35,918
What? It's not for sale?
I don't understand.
47
00:02:35,920 --> 00:02:37,286
This is a garage sale,
is it not?
48
00:02:37,288 --> 00:02:39,389
You listen here, I have 79 cents
and I intend to spend it.
49
00:02:39,391 --> 00:02:40,858
Now tell me,
how much is this children's book
50
00:02:40,860 --> 00:02:42,326
"Sally Sells Seashells
by the Sea Shore"?
51
00:02:42,328 --> 00:02:44,595
A dollar? Shoot. What about
this Scissor Sisters CD?
52
00:02:44,597 --> 00:02:48,801
This is a little boy
trying to be macho in a mirror.
53
00:02:51,403 --> 00:02:52,669
We're divorced.
54
00:02:52,671 --> 00:02:54,174
OK...
55
00:02:56,609 --> 00:02:59,312
This is the girl
who's always cold.
56
00:03:01,046 --> 00:03:02,181
I'm cold.
57
00:03:03,216 --> 00:03:05,451
Brrrrrr...
58
00:03:05,985 --> 00:03:07,187
No, I don't want your jacket.
59
00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:09,754
This is Kristen Wig
discovering a murder scene.
60
00:03:09,756 --> 00:03:12,690
Oh my God, he's dead.
Somebody killed him.
61
00:03:12,692 --> 00:03:14,326
Help, quick. Call 911.
62
00:03:15,026 --> 00:03:16,962
This is a pug
turning into a baby.
63
00:03:26,538 --> 00:03:28,505
This an impression
of a Vine video
64
00:03:28,507 --> 00:03:30,210
of a girl at a Beyoncé concert.
65
00:03:32,844 --> 00:03:34,746
Oh my God, Beyoncé!
66
00:03:38,116 --> 00:03:39,949
Oh my God, Beyoncé!
67
00:03:43,788 --> 00:03:45,257
Oh my God, Beyonce!
68
00:03:46,925 --> 00:03:48,327
Okay.
69
00:06:41,533 --> 00:06:42,265
Hey, guys.
70
00:06:42,267 --> 00:06:43,399
Hey, Emily.
71
00:06:43,401 --> 00:06:44,502
Where the hell
have you been, Emily?
72
00:06:44,504 --> 00:06:46,202
It's two
in the goddamn afternoon.
73
00:06:46,204 --> 00:06:51,308
I had an audition this morning
which I told you about yesterday.
74
00:06:51,310 --> 00:06:53,142
This is a team, Emily.
75
00:06:53,144 --> 00:06:55,012
You want to be
a part of it or not?
76
00:06:55,014 --> 00:06:56,180
It's editing.
77
00:06:56,182 --> 00:06:57,046
You don't do it as a team,
you do it alone.
78
00:06:57,048 --> 00:06:58,281
But we're doing it together.
79
00:06:58,283 --> 00:07:02,685
Okay, I'm sorry.
It ran long and traffic was...
80
00:07:02,687 --> 00:07:04,022
Just show me what you've got.
81
00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:10,226
As Pharmtech pharmaceutical
reps,
82
00:07:10,228 --> 00:07:13,296
we're here to connect patients
with life-altering prescriptions
83
00:07:13,298 --> 00:07:15,467
they didn't even know they
needed.
84
00:07:15,668 --> 00:07:18,334
So talk to your doctor
about talking to their patients
85
00:07:18,336 --> 00:07:21,003
about the benefits of Hupertan
Rx.
86
00:07:21,005 --> 00:07:23,642
Because no one
should feel sleepy.
87
00:07:24,642 --> 00:07:26,642
Fine, export this cut,
88
00:07:26,644 --> 00:07:30,015
and get it to Brinson
by the end of day for approval.
89
00:07:32,685 --> 00:07:33,619
Jesus.
90
00:07:34,786 --> 00:07:35,918
Sorry to keep you waiting.
Have a seat.
91
00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:36,622
Why?
92
00:07:37,488 --> 00:07:38,253
I got your chart back and...
93
00:07:38,255 --> 00:07:39,188
You don't got a butt.
94
00:07:42,326 --> 00:07:43,793
I just don't understand.
What do you mean, Mr. But Butts?
95
00:07:43,795 --> 00:07:45,062
Hey...
96
00:07:45,064 --> 00:07:47,163
It's Dr. Butt Butts to you!
97
00:07:49,233 --> 00:07:51,368
Thanks so much,
that's our show!
98
00:07:57,242 --> 00:07:58,978
That was perfect...
99
00:07:59,845 --> 00:08:03,245
Hey guys! Great job tonight,
that was so good!
100
00:08:03,247 --> 00:08:05,718
You wanna go in?.
101
00:08:07,620 --> 00:08:09,652
That improv was so good
for being drunk.
102
00:08:09,654 --> 00:08:10,786
I know. I know.
103
00:08:10,788 --> 00:08:12,959
- And like you had...?
- I was drunk.
104
00:08:14,326 --> 00:08:15,925
I haven't seen you
around the theatre.
105
00:08:15,927 --> 00:08:17,127
Are you new in town?
106
00:08:17,129 --> 00:08:19,997
No, I've been around
pretty much constantly.
107
00:08:19,999 --> 00:08:21,634
I moved from Austin
about two years ago.
108
00:08:21,899 --> 00:08:23,702
Dude, I love Austin.
109
00:08:23,903 --> 00:08:25,705
South By Southwest!
110
00:08:25,937 --> 00:08:27,471
Yeah.
111
00:08:27,473 --> 00:08:30,039
Austin, it's pretty great, but
they call it "The Velvet Rut,"
112
00:08:30,041 --> 00:08:33,776
because it's so laid back that
people there lose their ambition.
113
00:08:33,778 --> 00:08:35,311
Velvet Rut, that's a good name
for something.
114
00:08:35,313 --> 00:08:36,649
That's funny.
115
00:08:38,450 --> 00:08:40,987
Did you guys know that Emily's got
over 20 million views on YouTube?
116
00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:42,252
Oh, my God.
117
00:08:42,254 --> 00:08:43,219
She's like a celebrity.
118
00:08:43,221 --> 00:08:45,855
It's exclusively
from perverts,
119
00:08:45,857 --> 00:08:47,190
mostly in the Ukraine.
120
00:08:47,192 --> 00:08:48,391
Oh my God.
121
00:08:48,393 --> 00:08:50,661
It's just this one video
that got out of control.
122
00:08:50,663 --> 00:08:51,862
What's the vid?
123
00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:54,430
Honestly,
it's too stupid to talk about.
124
00:08:54,432 --> 00:08:57,202
Wow, you have
really low self-esteem.
125
00:09:03,042 --> 00:09:04,907
Lucas, you teach a 401, right?
126
00:09:04,909 --> 00:09:06,008
Are you going to take it
for the eighth time?
127
00:09:06,010 --> 00:09:08,811
I'm taking it
for the eighth time.
128
00:09:08,813 --> 00:09:10,180
I'm already enrolled.
129
00:09:10,182 --> 00:09:13,382
You want me to get you
another round of something?
130
00:09:13,384 --> 00:09:14,751
Yeah, sure, that'd be great.
131
00:09:14,753 --> 00:09:18,224
And maybe later, I can
take you home and fuck you?
132
00:09:51,155 --> 00:09:52,891
Emily...
133
00:09:55,927 --> 00:09:57,897
Hey, is this funny?
134
00:09:58,297 --> 00:09:59,896
Is this funny?
135
00:09:59,898 --> 00:10:00,298
What?
136
00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:04,336
Where there's smoke,
there's me smoking weed?
137
00:10:04,970 --> 00:10:06,502
- Sure...
- Yeah?
138
00:10:06,504 --> 00:10:08,037
- Uh-huh.
- That's funny.
139
00:10:08,039 --> 00:10:09,107
Uh-huh.
140
00:10:18,383 --> 00:10:19,018
Woah!
141
00:10:19,751 --> 00:10:20,617
What are you doing?
142
00:10:20,619 --> 00:10:23,085
I'm just gonna tweet it out.
143
00:10:23,087 --> 00:10:24,789
- Dude, I'm...
- I know.
144
00:10:25,023 --> 00:10:27,190
See, I didn't want
to mess up the joke.
145
00:10:27,192 --> 00:10:28,892
I'm putting it away.
146
00:10:28,894 --> 00:10:30,493
Hey, Emily, I'm okay...
147
00:10:30,495 --> 00:10:31,494
We're okay?
148
00:10:31,496 --> 00:10:33,365
- Yeah.
- Yeah, we're okay.
149
00:10:36,836 --> 00:10:38,368
What? Seriously?
150
00:10:38,370 --> 00:10:39,802
No, that's not my phone.
151
00:10:39,804 --> 00:10:43,041
Oh, fuck. Give me a minute.
152
00:10:47,379 --> 00:10:48,214
Oh, shit.
153
00:10:49,615 --> 00:10:52,114
It's my ex, I'm sorry.
We haven't talked for a while.
154
00:10:52,116 --> 00:10:53,318
Oh, yeah.
155
00:11:01,293 --> 00:11:04,026
Hey, I'm sorry
I didn't answer earlier
156
00:11:04,028 --> 00:11:06,698
I was swamped all day,
is everything okay?
157
00:11:09,567 --> 00:11:11,069
Oh my God.
158
00:11:12,037 --> 00:11:12,671
Oh...
159
00:11:14,005 --> 00:11:15,940
Oh my God, oh my God.
160
00:11:17,142 --> 00:11:18,244
Ahhh...
161
00:11:19,278 --> 00:11:21,047
How long does he have?
162
00:11:21,980 --> 00:11:22,947
Oh, no!
163
00:11:24,115 --> 00:11:25,684
Oh my God.
164
00:11:45,504 --> 00:11:47,838
- Hi, let me help you here.
- No. I got it.
165
00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:50,073
I've got plenty
of room back here,
166
00:11:50,075 --> 00:11:52,908
- Come on, it's no problem.
- I want to hold on to my bag.
167
00:11:52,910 --> 00:11:54,176
- You sure?
- Yes.
168
00:11:54,178 --> 00:11:57,082
Okay, go ahead
and get in the car.
169
00:11:57,548 --> 00:12:00,116
Right there.
My name is Ida.
170
00:12:00,118 --> 00:12:04,156
♪ Ida, Sweet as apple cider...
171
00:12:04,355 --> 00:12:06,192
Welcome to Austin!
172
00:12:13,197 --> 00:12:16,367
I hope you enjoy the trip.
Is it business or pleasure?
173
00:12:18,370 --> 00:12:19,304
Neither.
174
00:12:20,405 --> 00:12:23,272
I'm a pretty good driver
most of the time.
175
00:12:23,274 --> 00:12:26,245
I hope you give me five stars.
176
00:12:27,044 --> 00:12:28,645
It would be helpful. Oops!
177
00:12:28,647 --> 00:12:29,749
Oops.
178
00:12:42,159 --> 00:12:44,094
- Hi.
- How can I help you?
179
00:12:44,096 --> 00:12:46,798
I'm here to see a patient,
Mr. Roosevelt.
180
00:12:47,032 --> 00:12:48,397
And you are...?
181
00:12:48,399 --> 00:12:49,834
I'm his...
182
00:12:50,101 --> 00:12:51,236
He's my cat.
183
00:12:52,104 --> 00:12:53,873
I'll let the vet
know you're here.
184
00:12:58,176 --> 00:12:59,044
Have a seat.
185
00:13:07,219 --> 00:13:08,287
Hey.
186
00:13:16,061 --> 00:13:17,163
You look great.
187
00:13:18,129 --> 00:13:18,931
Thank you.
188
00:13:19,230 --> 00:13:20,298
You look...
189
00:13:20,666 --> 00:13:21,333
very thin.
190
00:13:24,001 --> 00:13:24,836
So what happened?
191
00:13:25,937 --> 00:13:28,070
He hasn't been eating
for a week.
192
00:13:28,072 --> 00:13:29,705
Why didn't you call me earlier?
193
00:13:29,707 --> 00:13:31,910
I didn't want to bother you.
194
00:13:32,443 --> 00:13:34,145
The vet says that...
195
00:13:34,679 --> 00:13:36,247
it's kidney failure.
196
00:13:49,094 --> 00:13:50,062
Hello.
197
00:13:53,130 --> 00:13:53,966
Hello.
198
00:13:55,533 --> 00:13:57,035
This is Celeste.
199
00:13:57,302 --> 00:13:58,170
My girlfriend.
200
00:13:59,336 --> 00:14:02,106
Your girlfriend?
I didn't know you had a...
201
00:14:03,174 --> 00:14:04,641
It's so nice to meet you.
202
00:14:04,643 --> 00:14:05,742
I'm Emily.
203
00:14:05,744 --> 00:14:07,410
You've probably heard
a lot about me.
204
00:14:07,412 --> 00:14:09,281
Not much, actually.
205
00:14:10,615 --> 00:14:11,584
Well...
206
00:14:12,583 --> 00:14:14,485
Thank you for being here.
207
00:14:15,019 --> 00:14:16,652
I know that he was my cat,
208
00:14:16,654 --> 00:14:18,754
but Mr. Roosevelt
meant a lot to Eric.
209
00:14:18,756 --> 00:14:19,991
Yeah.
210
00:14:21,025 --> 00:14:23,328
Yeah, he means a lot to me too.
211
00:14:25,029 --> 00:14:27,332
Celeste and I live together.
212
00:14:28,232 --> 00:14:29,267
In our...?
213
00:14:30,534 --> 00:14:31,903
In my house.
214
00:14:34,706 --> 00:14:36,241
That's so nice.
215
00:14:47,019 --> 00:14:50,152
So we put him on fluids,
and he perked up quite a bit.
216
00:14:50,154 --> 00:14:53,125
And then he took a turn
for the worst.
217
00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:54,493
Worse.
218
00:14:54,793 --> 00:14:56,225
Worst.
219
00:14:56,227 --> 00:14:57,629
Which is it, turn for the worse?
220
00:14:58,230 --> 00:14:59,498
I never know.
221
00:15:00,065 --> 00:15:01,397
Turn for the worse...
222
00:15:01,399 --> 00:15:02,232
Right.
223
00:15:02,234 --> 00:15:02,968
Anyway...
224
00:15:06,404 --> 00:15:07,804
I'm sorry.
225
00:15:07,806 --> 00:15:09,705
He passed away.
226
00:15:18,817 --> 00:15:22,187
Who'll be handling
the medical paperwork?
227
00:15:24,822 --> 00:15:28,657
The cremation process can take
24 to 48 hours,
228
00:15:28,659 --> 00:15:30,495
depending on the backlog.
229
00:15:31,296 --> 00:15:32,829
Can I see him...?
230
00:15:32,831 --> 00:15:33,695
Before?
231
00:15:33,697 --> 00:15:35,033
Of course.
232
00:15:36,467 --> 00:15:38,437
Have you decided on an urn?
233
00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:48,113
I'll take the second cheapest.
234
00:16:03,394 --> 00:16:04,495
Oh...
235
00:16:05,297 --> 00:16:06,532
Um...
236
00:16:06,865 --> 00:16:09,100
I guess I'll call you
when he's done.
237
00:16:09,366 --> 00:16:13,404
And we can have a service
to pay our respects and...
238
00:16:14,405 --> 00:16:19,110
Thank you for taking care of him
while I was away.
239
00:16:21,379 --> 00:16:22,514
And...
240
00:16:23,315 --> 00:16:24,647
Sweetie...
241
00:16:24,649 --> 00:16:26,250
Shhh.
242
00:16:30,455 --> 00:16:32,091
It's gonna be okay.
243
00:16:37,328 --> 00:16:39,263
Well, I'll see you later.
244
00:16:42,333 --> 00:16:43,234
Where are you staying?
245
00:17:05,222 --> 00:17:06,655
Who wants some tea?
246
00:17:06,657 --> 00:17:08,359
Eric, Oolong?
247
00:17:08,894 --> 00:17:10,295
Yeah, sure.
248
00:17:12,696 --> 00:17:15,366
The house looks amazing.
249
00:17:16,433 --> 00:17:17,536
Celeste...
250
00:17:18,502 --> 00:17:20,705
You guys put in wood floors?
251
00:17:21,239 --> 00:17:23,373
Actually we had
a contractor come in
252
00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:25,576
and rip out the carpet and...
253
00:17:25,876 --> 00:17:28,611
Apparently these were original
to the house.
254
00:17:28,613 --> 00:17:30,649
I always hated the carpet.
255
00:17:31,348 --> 00:17:33,783
So this is the bathroom,
which you knew,
256
00:17:33,785 --> 00:17:36,419
- but now has extra towels.
- Fancy.
257
00:17:36,421 --> 00:17:37,754
And the guest room.
258
00:17:37,756 --> 00:17:40,459
Oh! Where's
all your band stuff?
259
00:17:40,692 --> 00:17:42,592
Your guitars and your amps?
260
00:17:42,594 --> 00:17:43,362
Out in the shed.
261
00:17:44,863 --> 00:17:47,263
- You practice in the shed?
- No, it's temporary storage.
262
00:17:47,265 --> 00:17:49,399
You know until
I figure out where to put it.
263
00:17:55,272 --> 00:17:57,141
Why didn't you tell me
about Celeste?
264
00:17:57,375 --> 00:17:59,411
Em, we haven't spoken
265
00:17:59,810 --> 00:18:02,680
since you broke up with me
over the phone.
266
00:18:07,818 --> 00:18:08,519
Are you okay?
267
00:18:09,887 --> 00:18:09,953
Oh my God, are you kidding me?
Of course I'm okay.
268
00:18:10,788 --> 00:18:11,953
I'm really happy for you.
269
00:18:11,955 --> 00:18:15,159
We gotta move on.
We've all moved on.
270
00:18:15,460 --> 00:18:18,329
I was talking
about Mr. Rosevelt.
271
00:18:19,830 --> 00:18:21,331
Oh...
272
00:18:21,333 --> 00:18:23,435
Yeah, I'll be okay.
273
00:18:24,935 --> 00:18:27,903
I don't really know what I'm
going to do financially.
274
00:18:27,905 --> 00:18:32,211
Or how I'm gonna get back to LA.
Flights are crazy expensive.
275
00:18:32,777 --> 00:18:34,376
This is good, right?
276
00:18:34,378 --> 00:18:35,813
This is...
277
00:18:37,548 --> 00:18:39,250
This is closure.
278
00:18:41,952 --> 00:18:42,855
Tea time.
279
00:18:43,721 --> 00:18:45,324
I hope I'm not interrupting.
280
00:18:46,490 --> 00:18:48,359
No, in fact I was
just on my way out.
281
00:18:49,461 --> 00:18:51,864
Catch up as much as you need to.
282
00:18:52,329 --> 00:18:54,532
You should drink that
while it's hot.
283
00:18:54,898 --> 00:18:56,298
Yes.
284
00:18:56,300 --> 00:18:57,769
That's usually how tea works.
285
00:18:58,470 --> 00:19:01,504
Well, let me know
if you need anything.
286
00:19:01,506 --> 00:19:02,671
Okey dokey!
287
00:19:02,673 --> 00:19:04,175
Okey dokey...
288
00:19:04,808 --> 00:19:06,444
Eric, wait.
289
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:09,778
Ummm...
290
00:19:09,780 --> 00:19:11,349
What's the WiFi password?
291
00:19:12,951 --> 00:19:14,586
Still the same.
292
00:19:14,885 --> 00:19:15,653
Cool.
293
00:20:20,751 --> 00:20:22,250
...He felt her curves
294
00:20:22,252 --> 00:20:26,956
round his neck
like a yoke he knows
295
00:20:26,958 --> 00:20:29,261
he'll never forget
296
00:20:29,794 --> 00:20:33,496
The way she cut through his bed
297
00:20:33,498 --> 00:20:37,769
Like a snake would bite
through a cave of flesh
298
00:20:38,103 --> 00:20:41,006
But he holds her
299
00:20:42,106 --> 00:20:45,743
though she's broken
300
00:20:47,846 --> 00:20:53,818
He swears he don't care
where she's been
301
00:20:56,855 --> 00:21:03,295
He's tired of being human
302
00:21:05,963 --> 00:21:08,965
He wears her close
to the bone...
303
00:22:05,557 --> 00:22:08,690
KLONOPIN, take one tablet
by mouth twice a day
304
00:22:09,861 --> 00:22:10,294
Emily?
305
00:22:11,528 --> 00:22:12,364
You okay?
306
00:22:13,664 --> 00:22:16,032
Yeah, I'm good, I'm good.
I'm just urinating.
307
00:22:16,034 --> 00:22:19,938
Eric and I have reservations
at Justine's tonight.
308
00:22:20,238 --> 00:22:23,171
And I'm sure you have other
plans, but if you're not busy,
309
00:22:23,173 --> 00:22:25,943
then we'd love for you
to join us and our friends.
310
00:22:27,077 --> 00:22:28,113
No, I don't have plans,
311
00:22:29,413 --> 00:22:30,779
but I'm sure I can figure
something else out.
312
00:22:30,781 --> 00:22:31,680
Really?
313
00:22:31,682 --> 00:22:33,518
I know Eric wants you to come.
314
00:22:35,019 --> 00:22:36,184
He does?
315
00:22:36,186 --> 00:22:37,121
Yes.
316
00:22:41,226 --> 00:22:43,995
Emily,
you don't have to be alone.
317
00:22:56,007 --> 00:22:57,776
That's a spiffy shirt.
318
00:22:59,544 --> 00:23:00,145
Thanks.
319
00:23:03,647 --> 00:23:04,882
It's a...
320
00:23:05,817 --> 00:23:07,519
breathable cotton.
321
00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:10,021
So...
322
00:23:14,057 --> 00:23:15,160
Everybody ready?
323
00:23:15,626 --> 00:23:16,927
Aye aye, captain.
324
00:23:18,796 --> 00:23:20,465
Do you want to change
before we leave?
325
00:23:21,065 --> 00:23:23,769
Oh, I'm so sorry...
326
00:23:24,102 --> 00:23:26,635
When I took
an emergency flight to Austin,
327
00:23:26,637 --> 00:23:29,005
I didn't exactly think
to pack formal wear.
328
00:23:29,007 --> 00:23:30,873
That makes perfect sense.
329
00:23:30,875 --> 00:23:33,444
I'm sure
I have something you can wear.
330
00:23:35,012 --> 00:23:35,946
Great.
331
00:23:37,280 --> 00:23:40,418
Why me,
332
00:23:42,153 --> 00:23:48,426
Why did you pick
on my heart to break?
333
00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:52,798
Why did you have to fool me?
334
00:23:53,030 --> 00:23:57,668
So I would to propose a toast,
to the memory of Mr. Roosevelt.
335
00:23:58,001 --> 00:23:58,869
Oh, Jess.
336
00:24:06,711 --> 00:24:09,711
I don't know if you guys notice
anything different about me.
337
00:24:09,713 --> 00:24:10,816
I've been meditating.
338
00:24:12,349 --> 00:24:14,950
Yep, using an app
called Mind Time.
339
00:24:14,952 --> 00:24:15,985
Thank you.
340
00:24:15,987 --> 00:24:17,085
It's awesome.
341
00:24:17,087 --> 00:24:18,955
He is so calm, so peaceful.
342
00:24:18,957 --> 00:24:20,855
- Present.
- He's got this glow...
343
00:24:20,857 --> 00:24:21,856
I'm finally here.
344
00:24:21,858 --> 00:24:22,560
I can see it.
345
00:24:23,528 --> 00:24:24,129
- Free app?
- Yeah, free.
346
00:24:25,395 --> 00:24:27,199
I'll send it to you guys.
I get referrals...
347
00:24:29,232 --> 00:24:31,767
- Very cool.
- It's awesome.
348
00:24:31,769 --> 00:24:34,038
It's like, I don't know,
life-changing.
349
00:24:35,740 --> 00:24:37,539
So, Eric, how's your band doing?
350
00:24:37,541 --> 00:24:40,042
I saw you guys got a write-up
in the Chronicle last year.
351
00:24:40,044 --> 00:24:42,111
Eric's taking a break from
right now.
352
00:24:42,113 --> 00:24:43,748
He's getting
his real estate license.
353
00:24:44,015 --> 00:24:46,315
- I love houses.
- I know you do.
354
00:24:46,317 --> 00:24:49,084
Whoa, you're going to become
a real estate agent?
355
00:24:49,086 --> 00:24:53,090
Yeah, they say if you sell one,
you can be set for a year.
356
00:24:53,657 --> 00:24:56,859
I get that. We all do things
we don't want to do for a while,
357
00:24:56,861 --> 00:24:59,194
so we can do the things that
we really want to do.
358
00:24:59,196 --> 00:25:00,865
That's why
I audition for commercials.
359
00:25:01,066 --> 00:25:03,332
It's more of a long-term thing.
360
00:25:03,334 --> 00:25:06,267
You know, music is great,
and he's so good at it, but
361
00:25:06,269 --> 00:25:07,902
you can only do this band thing
for so long
362
00:25:07,904 --> 00:25:10,972
before you have to start thinking
about your future, right?
363
00:25:10,974 --> 00:25:11,642
Right.
364
00:25:12,542 --> 00:25:14,912
So. Emily, you're an actress?
365
00:25:15,779 --> 00:25:19,148
No. I'm actually more
of a comedian.
366
00:25:19,150 --> 00:25:20,185
Which basically means
367
00:25:21,451 --> 00:25:21,950
I'm a less attractive
version of an actress.
368
00:25:21,952 --> 00:25:23,587
Oh...
369
00:25:24,788 --> 00:25:26,154
Why would you say that?
You're so beautiful.
370
00:25:26,156 --> 00:25:27,157
So cute.
371
00:25:28,726 --> 00:25:29,594
I'm joking.
372
00:25:30,461 --> 00:25:31,660
Yeah, but even if you're joking,
373
00:25:31,662 --> 00:25:34,665
it's not healthy
to talk about yourself that way.
374
00:25:34,865 --> 00:25:36,399
So, Emily, you do stand-up?
375
00:25:36,401 --> 00:25:38,700
No, I don't do stand up comedy.
376
00:25:38,702 --> 00:25:41,572
It's hard to explain what I
do...
377
00:25:42,874 --> 00:25:43,975
It's stupid.
378
00:25:44,976 --> 00:25:45,674
It's pretty dumb.
379
00:25:45,676 --> 00:25:47,745
Emily is so funny.
380
00:25:48,211 --> 00:25:50,712
You have over 50,000
YouTube subscribers, right?
381
00:25:50,714 --> 00:25:51,881
Wow!
382
00:25:51,883 --> 00:25:53,048
Really? Wow!
383
00:25:53,050 --> 00:25:54,417
You can really do something
with that.
384
00:25:54,419 --> 00:25:55,751
I was just reading this article
385
00:25:55,753 --> 00:25:58,353
about a girl who was doing
make-up tutorials online,
386
00:25:58,355 --> 00:26:00,288
and she accidentally
got make-up in her eye,
387
00:26:00,290 --> 00:26:01,891
and she had this major
freak-out.
388
00:26:01,893 --> 00:26:03,225
It was so real and so funny.
389
00:26:03,227 --> 00:26:05,728
So the video goes viral,
390
00:26:05,730 --> 00:26:07,363
and then she goes
on the "Today" show,
391
00:26:07,365 --> 00:26:08,730
and based on its success,
392
00:26:08,732 --> 00:26:11,801
she was able to launch her own
beauty tutorial channel,
393
00:26:11,803 --> 00:26:15,071
and she just came out
with this big make-up line.
394
00:26:15,073 --> 00:26:17,373
Have you ever thought of
doing something like that?
395
00:26:17,375 --> 00:26:19,208
No, I haven't.
396
00:26:19,210 --> 00:26:20,278
Why not?
397
00:26:22,946 --> 00:26:25,247
Oh, what about you, Celeste?
398
00:26:25,249 --> 00:26:27,016
I never found out
what you do for a living.
399
00:26:27,018 --> 00:26:28,720
Celeste is an entrepreneur.
400
00:26:28,986 --> 00:26:29,988
Okay.
401
00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:31,720
What's that mean?
402
00:26:31,722 --> 00:26:34,826
Just a fancy French word.
403
00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:39,495
I worked for a social media
firm when I was 25 and...
404
00:26:39,497 --> 00:26:42,498
I realized their client model
wasn't sustainable cause
405
00:26:42,500 --> 00:26:44,734
it was fractured
across too many platforms,
406
00:26:44,736 --> 00:26:45,770
so I quit,
407
00:26:47,238 --> 00:26:49,071
and I took my savings and teamed
up with a fellow Penn grad,
408
00:26:49,073 --> 00:26:50,305
and we developed coding that
409
00:26:50,307 --> 00:26:52,941
integrates business's
various online presences
410
00:26:52,943 --> 00:26:54,844
into one streamlined platform.
411
00:26:54,846 --> 00:26:57,779
It's still in product
development right now but...
412
00:26:57,781 --> 00:26:59,917
There's been a lot of interest.
413
00:27:00,117 --> 00:27:00,951
Don't be humble.
414
00:27:02,118 --> 00:27:04,853
And she also makes
her own greeting cards.
415
00:27:04,855 --> 00:27:05,921
I sent one to my grandma.
416
00:27:05,923 --> 00:27:06,956
- You did not, really?.
- Yeah.
417
00:27:06,958 --> 00:27:09,057
You know they have them
in six stores?
418
00:27:09,059 --> 00:27:09,892
What?
419
00:27:09,894 --> 00:27:11,392
Yeah. That's our Celeste.
420
00:27:11,394 --> 00:27:12,297
Wow!
421
00:27:13,498 --> 00:27:15,366
It's amazing
how much bread you can eat.
422
00:27:15,833 --> 00:27:18,066
They're not charging
for it, are they?
423
00:27:18,068 --> 00:27:20,902
No, it's not that, it's just
I'm so gluten intolerant...
424
00:27:20,904 --> 00:27:23,205
Even a bite can
throw off my diet for a week.
425
00:27:23,207 --> 00:27:25,106
Yeah,
Celeste got me off bread too
426
00:27:25,108 --> 00:27:27,176
and I feel so much better.
427
00:27:27,178 --> 00:27:30,379
I thought I was gonna miss it,
but I don't.
428
00:27:30,381 --> 00:27:32,417
Well, I for one love bread.
429
00:27:32,616 --> 00:27:34,249
Call me old-fashioned, okay?
430
00:27:34,251 --> 00:27:35,286
I'm jealous.
431
00:27:36,452 --> 00:27:37,686
So, Emily,
I'm just a little confused.
432
00:27:37,688 --> 00:27:40,189
If you don't want to be making
internet videos,
433
00:27:40,191 --> 00:27:42,324
and you don't want to be
a standup comic and
434
00:27:42,326 --> 00:27:43,526
you're not an actress...
435
00:27:43,528 --> 00:27:45,697
What do you want to do?
436
00:27:46,196 --> 00:27:48,463
Why move to Los Angeles
in the first place?
437
00:27:48,465 --> 00:27:49,333
Celeste...
438
00:27:50,401 --> 00:27:52,934
That's a really
good question, Celeste.
439
00:27:52,936 --> 00:27:55,372
And the answer is...
440
00:27:55,839 --> 00:27:56,875
I don't know.
441
00:27:58,209 --> 00:27:59,878
I guess it was pretty
fucking stupid of me, huh?
442
00:28:04,248 --> 00:28:06,718
Well, for a comedian,
she's awfully serious.
443
00:28:13,324 --> 00:28:15,190
Shit!
444
00:28:15,192 --> 00:28:17,226
I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.
445
00:28:17,228 --> 00:28:18,526
No, no, leave it.
446
00:28:18,528 --> 00:28:19,961
Woah, what happened?
447
00:28:19,963 --> 00:28:21,396
Ouch!
448
00:28:21,398 --> 00:28:22,498
- Oh my God, are you okay?
- I'm fine. Leave me alone!
449
00:28:22,500 --> 00:28:23,365
What the f, Jen!
450
00:28:23,367 --> 00:28:25,834
Suck a dick, Dustin, she's hurt.
451
00:28:25,836 --> 00:28:27,135
Come on, I got you.
452
00:28:27,137 --> 00:28:27,871
Wait, Em...
453
00:28:28,638 --> 00:28:29,740
It's okay. I got her.
454
00:28:31,174 --> 00:28:32,076
Okay.
455
00:28:32,876 --> 00:28:34,378
She has a hot mouth.
456
00:28:36,948 --> 00:28:37,846
Hey, let me see it.
457
00:28:37,848 --> 00:28:38,817
I'm so sorry.
458
00:28:40,151 --> 00:28:41,383
I don't know how I'm going
to pay for all that food.
459
00:28:41,385 --> 00:28:43,017
Fuck that food.
Who cares about that food?
460
00:28:43,019 --> 00:28:44,021
Let me see your hand.
461
00:28:53,064 --> 00:28:53,998
Hey...
462
00:28:54,365 --> 00:28:55,400
Are you Emily Martin?
463
00:28:57,134 --> 00:28:58,403
- Yeah?
- Dude!
464
00:28:59,103 --> 00:29:00,105
Jen!
465
00:29:00,605 --> 00:29:01,372
Jen Morales.
466
00:29:02,772 --> 00:29:05,607
We talked for a second
at the party on the East side.
467
00:29:05,609 --> 00:29:06,910
You were with Ravi.
468
00:29:08,412 --> 00:29:10,815
There was that band of girls
that hits pots as instruments.
469
00:29:11,015 --> 00:29:12,984
Ahhh, Manic Pixie Jihad.
470
00:29:13,217 --> 00:29:14,382
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
471
00:29:14,384 --> 00:29:17,652
Dude! Is it weird that
I feel like I know you?
472
00:29:17,654 --> 00:29:20,122
People post your vids
all the time.
473
00:29:20,124 --> 00:29:21,159
- They do?
- Yeah.
474
00:29:22,559 --> 00:29:25,160
My mom's favorite one is
that one of you in the bathtub.
475
00:29:25,162 --> 00:29:27,563
Hey, you're based out of LA?
What are you doing out here?
476
00:29:27,565 --> 00:29:28,767
My cat died.
477
00:29:28,967 --> 00:29:30,301
Oh, I'm sorry.
478
00:29:30,601 --> 00:29:31,536
Was he old?
479
00:29:31,736 --> 00:29:33,104
No, he wasn't.
480
00:29:33,570 --> 00:29:34,603
Oh man...
481
00:29:34,605 --> 00:29:36,271
That guy up there
your boyfriend?
482
00:29:36,273 --> 00:29:37,941
That's my ex-boyfriend.
483
00:29:38,209 --> 00:29:39,173
Oh.
484
00:29:39,175 --> 00:29:40,475
I left my cat with him.
485
00:29:40,477 --> 00:29:42,644
But he wasn't my ex-boyfriend
when I did that.
486
00:29:42,646 --> 00:29:45,849
He was my boyfriend,
and then I moved to Los Angeles.
487
00:29:46,116 --> 00:29:49,317
And we tried long distance,
and then I broke up with him.
488
00:29:49,319 --> 00:29:51,553
But don't worry about him
because he has a new girlfriend
489
00:29:51,555 --> 00:29:52,921
and she's super-cool.
490
00:29:52,923 --> 00:29:55,123
And she lives in our house
491
00:29:55,125 --> 00:29:57,191
that's theirs,
and she ripped up the carpet,
492
00:29:57,193 --> 00:29:58,693
and it looks really pretty.
493
00:29:58,695 --> 00:30:02,698
And she says that
it's her cat too!
494
00:30:02,700 --> 00:30:04,869
And I think that that's fair.
495
00:30:05,102 --> 00:30:06,471
It's okay, it's okay.
496
00:30:06,938 --> 00:30:08,403
I'm sorry, I can't breathe.
497
00:30:08,405 --> 00:30:10,104
- It's okay...
- I'm sorry.
498
00:30:10,106 --> 00:30:10,841
Hold that thought.
499
00:30:11,608 --> 00:30:12,910
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
500
00:30:25,155 --> 00:30:27,389
I'm sorry.
I don't want to drink.
501
00:30:27,391 --> 00:30:29,158
It's okay,
just tell me what happened.
502
00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:30,159
I already said it.
503
00:30:30,161 --> 00:30:31,093
Say it again.
504
00:30:31,095 --> 00:30:31,930
Which part?
505
00:30:32,130 --> 00:30:33,164
Any of it.
506
00:30:34,565 --> 00:30:35,400
Okay.
507
00:30:36,567 --> 00:30:39,234
I just had all these plans
and these goals.
508
00:30:39,236 --> 00:30:40,835
Right.
509
00:30:40,837 --> 00:30:42,069
And I thought if I did one thing,
then I did another thing...
510
00:30:42,071 --> 00:30:46,709
And this and
that was supposed to happen...
511
00:30:46,711 --> 00:30:47,578
How do you feel?
512
00:30:50,647 --> 00:30:51,346
I don't know.
513
00:30:51,348 --> 00:30:52,180
Exactly.
514
00:30:52,182 --> 00:30:52,815
What?
515
00:30:52,817 --> 00:30:54,350
Just breathe.
516
00:30:54,352 --> 00:30:56,317
How am I supposed to breathe?
You just threw water in my...
517
00:30:56,319 --> 00:30:58,288
Oh my God!
518
00:31:08,465 --> 00:31:09,900
You feel better?
519
00:31:12,002 --> 00:31:12,604
I feel great.
520
00:31:33,289 --> 00:31:35,056
Do you mind passing the butter?
521
00:31:35,058 --> 00:31:36,094
Sure, here.
522
00:31:37,094 --> 00:31:38,263
Thank you.
523
00:31:42,465 --> 00:31:44,568
I'm sorry about your dress.
524
00:31:45,635 --> 00:31:48,138
I can pay
to have it dry-cleaned.
525
00:32:29,846 --> 00:32:33,483
MEOW
It's Jen. see you manana...
526
00:32:55,405 --> 00:32:56,606
Emily?
527
00:32:57,875 --> 00:32:59,576
Emily?
528
00:33:00,678 --> 00:33:02,146
Emily?
529
00:33:04,647 --> 00:33:05,182
Emily?
530
00:33:07,151 --> 00:33:08,119
Did I wake you?
531
00:33:09,252 --> 00:33:09,987
Yes.
532
00:33:11,088 --> 00:33:12,623
I wanted to share some good
news.
533
00:33:13,490 --> 00:33:14,358
Okay?
534
00:33:15,727 --> 00:33:18,126
We were able to get
a flight voucher in your name
535
00:33:18,128 --> 00:33:20,564
because my cousin's a manager
at Delta.
536
00:33:21,132 --> 00:33:22,030
What?
537
00:33:22,032 --> 00:33:24,333
I heard you were worried about
538
00:33:24,335 --> 00:33:26,004
returning to Los Angeles?
539
00:33:27,671 --> 00:33:29,740
You got me a plane ticket?
540
00:33:30,307 --> 00:33:31,507
Un-huh.
541
00:33:31,509 --> 00:33:34,444
It's just coach. We used miles.
542
00:33:34,811 --> 00:33:37,447
- You didn't have to do that.
- I know.
543
00:33:38,548 --> 00:33:39,783
But I wanted to.
544
00:33:42,586 --> 00:33:44,219
My apologies for waking you up.
545
00:33:44,221 --> 00:33:46,457
I just wanted to share the good
news before I went to work.
546
00:33:48,224 --> 00:33:50,528
Have a really beautiful day,
Emily.
547
00:34:12,416 --> 00:34:13,384
Eric?
548
00:34:14,784 --> 00:34:16,086
Celeste?
549
00:34:52,690 --> 00:34:54,525
I'm sorry! I was just
looking for the toothpaste.
550
00:34:54,891 --> 00:34:55,492
It's okay!
551
00:34:56,126 --> 00:34:56,694
It's alright.
552
00:34:57,561 --> 00:34:59,163
Nothing you haven't seen before.
553
00:35:00,563 --> 00:35:02,699
Yeah, that's very true.
554
00:35:03,300 --> 00:35:04,999
Toothpaste is
in the second cabinet
555
00:35:05,001 --> 00:35:06,704
to the right in the bathroom.
556
00:35:06,971 --> 00:35:07,838
Thank you.
557
00:35:08,505 --> 00:35:09,640
Hey, Em?
558
00:35:10,873 --> 00:35:12,275
Have you had breakfast?
559
00:35:24,855 --> 00:35:26,822
I'm surprised you kept the
table.
560
00:35:26,824 --> 00:35:28,923
Celeste, she refinished it.
561
00:35:28,925 --> 00:35:30,561
She's really, really handy.
562
00:35:31,362 --> 00:35:32,961
Oh, Celeste...
563
00:35:32,963 --> 00:35:35,500
Celeste really is the best, huh?
564
00:35:36,567 --> 00:35:37,999
I'm glad
to hear you say that.
565
00:35:38,001 --> 00:35:39,867
Because I was worried
after last night.
566
00:35:39,869 --> 00:35:41,338
You were worried?
567
00:35:41,539 --> 00:35:42,771
Worried about me?
568
00:35:42,773 --> 00:35:45,706
How come? You know me.
New day. New Emily.
569
00:35:45,708 --> 00:35:47,511
Yeah, I do. I know you.
570
00:35:51,914 --> 00:35:54,351
You want me to help?
You want me to make some coffee?
571
00:35:55,719 --> 00:35:56,854
Yeah, that'd be great.
572
00:35:57,353 --> 00:35:58,155
Cool.
573
00:36:04,561 --> 00:36:06,327
I'm sorry, I just need...
574
00:36:06,329 --> 00:36:08,463
Oh yeah. No, sorry.
575
00:36:08,465 --> 00:36:09,400
You're okay.
576
00:36:42,333 --> 00:36:44,769
You know
I like it strong, right?
577
00:36:45,702 --> 00:36:47,271
I'll make it strong.
578
00:37:11,929 --> 00:37:13,994
Yeah, you know what?
We're actually off coffee now.
579
00:37:13,996 --> 00:37:16,030
And I know it sounds crazy but
580
00:37:16,032 --> 00:37:17,300
I have more energy.
581
00:37:31,882 --> 00:37:33,081
I have to head to school.
582
00:37:33,083 --> 00:37:36,387
Are you gonna be okay here
alone all day?
583
00:37:36,686 --> 00:37:38,889
Yeah, I think so.
I still have a key.
584
00:37:39,123 --> 00:37:40,858
Great.
And I can take that back later.
585
00:37:41,724 --> 00:37:42,492
Of course.
586
00:37:43,659 --> 00:37:45,526
Oh, also we moved
a ton of your stuff
587
00:37:45,528 --> 00:37:47,829
in boxes out into the shed.
588
00:37:47,831 --> 00:37:49,430
Maybe you want to go through it,
589
00:37:49,432 --> 00:37:51,166
and take some stuff
back with you?
590
00:37:51,168 --> 00:37:54,168
And your bike.
We both have bikes so...
591
00:37:54,170 --> 00:37:56,938
Maybe you want to figure out
what you want to do with that.
592
00:37:56,940 --> 00:37:59,342
Maybe sell it for money?
593
00:38:00,878 --> 00:38:03,514
Sure, yeah. Really good idea.
Thank you.
594
00:38:04,114 --> 00:38:04,882
Great.
595
00:38:07,150 --> 00:38:08,051
Toodles.
596
00:38:09,753 --> 00:38:10,488
Toodles.
597
00:39:29,599 --> 00:39:32,369
Jesus, fucking Christ...
598
00:39:50,186 --> 00:39:51,087
Crap.
599
00:40:08,271 --> 00:40:11,641
It's Jen. See you manana?
600
00:40:32,295 --> 00:40:33,931
Hi, is Jen home?
601
00:40:43,974 --> 00:40:45,574
Hey, Dude!
602
00:40:45,576 --> 00:40:47,010
- Hey.
- What up?
603
00:40:48,311 --> 00:40:49,711
Hey.
604
00:40:49,713 --> 00:40:51,045
Happy you found me!
605
00:40:51,047 --> 00:40:51,947
Come on in.
606
00:40:51,949 --> 00:40:53,280
It's where the magic happens.
607
00:40:53,282 --> 00:40:54,816
How many people live here?
608
00:40:54,818 --> 00:40:56,818
- Like four to six.
- Really?
609
00:40:56,820 --> 00:40:59,653
Yeah, sometimes
we AirBnB the couch.
610
00:40:59,655 --> 00:41:01,655
Dude, it's so f'd that
you're staying
611
00:41:01,657 --> 00:41:03,925
with your ex-boyfriend
and his new girlfriend.
612
00:41:03,927 --> 00:41:04,628
I know.
613
00:41:05,996 --> 00:41:08,162
What twisted mind would agree
to something like that?
614
00:41:08,164 --> 00:41:10,965
So what are we dealing with?
A jealous psycho-bitch?
615
00:41:10,967 --> 00:41:14,702
No, Celeste is not the type of
girl that gets jealous.
616
00:41:14,704 --> 00:41:18,576
In fact,
she is super, super nice,
617
00:41:18,809 --> 00:41:21,610
and put together, and everything
in her life is beautiful,
618
00:41:21,612 --> 00:41:22,911
and nothing's out of place.
619
00:41:22,913 --> 00:41:25,648
You know, like a
Pinterest board come to life.
620
00:41:25,949 --> 00:41:27,382
Oh, so she's super-fake.
621
00:41:27,384 --> 00:41:29,717
And she has him
on anti-depressants.
622
00:41:29,719 --> 00:41:31,186
She literally has him drugged
up.
623
00:41:31,188 --> 00:41:32,320
Are you fucking serious?
624
00:41:32,322 --> 00:41:34,054
I saw them in their cabinet...
625
00:41:34,056 --> 00:41:35,590
which used to be my cabinet.
626
00:41:35,592 --> 00:41:39,663
It's like they've gotten rid of
every trace that I ever existed.
627
00:41:40,896 --> 00:41:43,666
They put all my stuff
in the shed...
628
00:41:43,934 --> 00:41:46,834
My entire life in Austin,
packed up in two boxes.
629
00:41:46,836 --> 00:41:49,403
Eric said, "You have to
get these out of here."
630
00:41:49,405 --> 00:41:51,706
But what am I supposed to do?
I can't take them to LA with me,
631
00:41:51,708 --> 00:41:53,675
I don't have any space,
I live in a studio.
632
00:41:53,677 --> 00:41:55,142
Why not keep your stuff here,
633
00:41:55,144 --> 00:41:56,978
I'd be happy to hold it for you.
634
00:41:56,980 --> 00:41:57,979
Really?
635
00:41:57,981 --> 00:41:59,947
You barely even know me.
636
00:41:59,949 --> 00:42:01,718
Nobody knows anyone.
637
00:42:01,918 --> 00:42:03,953
Do you even know yourself?
638
00:42:04,221 --> 00:42:06,121
I dunno, I think so.
639
00:42:06,123 --> 00:42:07,557
I look in the mirror a lot.
640
00:42:08,257 --> 00:42:09,858
Well, Emily Martin,
641
00:42:09,860 --> 00:42:11,226
to truly know oneself,
642
00:42:11,228 --> 00:42:13,662
you have to ask yourself
one thing...
643
00:42:13,664 --> 00:42:15,633
And what's that?
644
00:42:18,402 --> 00:42:20,871
Are you willing to be reborn?
645
00:42:29,746 --> 00:42:30,548
Jen!
646
00:42:31,347 --> 00:42:33,851
- Hey, ladies!
- What up?
647
00:42:34,951 --> 00:42:36,719
- Hey.
- Hey.
648
00:42:37,721 --> 00:42:38,155
Art!
649
00:42:41,291 --> 00:42:43,193
Pass that pipe...
650
00:42:44,728 --> 00:42:45,229
Here.
651
00:42:46,563 --> 00:42:47,998
It's so nice to be back
in the Greenbelt, it feels like
652
00:42:49,498 --> 00:42:50,199
it's the only thing in Austin
that hasn't really changed.
653
00:42:51,668 --> 00:42:54,001
Seriously, all the tech douches
coming in, buying property,
654
00:42:54,003 --> 00:42:55,639
building condos on everything.
655
00:42:57,106 --> 00:42:58,208
They're tearin' it all down,
that's all they know how to do.
656
00:42:59,509 --> 00:43:00,240
A normal person
can't afford anything anymore.
657
00:43:00,242 --> 00:43:02,409
I had to move past 183.
658
00:43:02,411 --> 00:43:03,744
I had to move back in
with my parents.
659
00:43:03,746 --> 00:43:06,149
And they had to move back in
with their parents.
660
00:43:09,186 --> 00:43:10,153
You want?
661
00:43:10,487 --> 00:43:12,755
Oh no, I'm good, thank you.
662
00:43:15,891 --> 00:43:17,891
Dude, that bikini top
looks sick on you.
663
00:43:17,893 --> 00:43:18,294
Thanks.
664
00:43:59,436 --> 00:44:01,704
She looks like
she's seen a titty ghost.
665
00:44:05,242 --> 00:44:07,344
I'm sorry, I...
666
00:44:07,844 --> 00:44:09,244
You know it's legal here
in Austin.
667
00:44:09,246 --> 00:44:11,215
It's all right.
Calm down.
668
00:44:11,481 --> 00:44:12,282
I know that.
669
00:44:13,148 --> 00:44:14,516
Come on, free your nipples.
670
00:44:14,518 --> 00:44:16,220
- Shut up!
- Come on, dude.
671
00:44:16,452 --> 00:44:17,786
Don't say that.
672
00:44:17,788 --> 00:44:18,889
What? Girls say it.
673
00:44:20,056 --> 00:44:21,222
Yeah, but it's liberating
when we say it.
674
00:44:21,224 --> 00:44:23,958
And it's creepy as fuck
when guys say it.
675
00:44:23,960 --> 00:44:27,865
Guys, man.
Take it easy, her cat just died.
676
00:44:28,398 --> 00:44:30,034
Oh, no.
677
00:44:30,500 --> 00:44:31,902
I'm sorry.
678
00:44:32,402 --> 00:44:35,105
No, it's not that, I'm...
679
00:44:57,893 --> 00:44:58,795
Alright!
680
00:45:01,398 --> 00:45:03,097
Well, I'm gonna jump in.
681
00:45:03,099 --> 00:45:03,965
Yeah.
682
00:45:03,967 --> 00:45:04,934
Here we go.
683
00:45:05,568 --> 00:45:06,302
Ready?
684
00:45:07,570 --> 00:45:09,336
Oh, no, I'm just gonna
warm up for a little bit.
685
00:45:09,338 --> 00:45:10,373
Alright.
686
00:45:30,327 --> 00:45:31,061
Hey...
687
00:45:31,927 --> 00:45:32,827
If you take a hit of this...
688
00:45:32,829 --> 00:45:34,929
You can put your top back on.
689
00:45:34,931 --> 00:45:35,465
Deal.
690
00:45:39,235 --> 00:45:41,001
- Look that way.
- Okay.
691
00:45:41,003 --> 00:45:44,307
Let me know when your boobs
are safely quarantined.
692
00:45:45,976 --> 00:45:47,044
Okay.
693
00:45:47,244 --> 00:45:48,245
Thanks.
694
00:45:57,086 --> 00:45:59,554
I don't normally smoke.
It makes me tired.
695
00:45:59,556 --> 00:46:01,488
And I don't understand
what funny is.
696
00:46:01,490 --> 00:46:02,893
What is there to understand?
697
00:46:05,996 --> 00:46:07,228
So...
698
00:46:07,230 --> 00:46:08,331
Art...
699
00:46:09,298 --> 00:46:11,398
Is Art short for Arthur?
700
00:46:11,400 --> 00:46:14,068
No, it's short
for Artist, actually.
701
00:46:14,070 --> 00:46:15,172
Really?
702
00:46:16,373 --> 00:46:17,941
My parents had
pretty high expectations.
703
00:46:18,208 --> 00:46:20,307
Oh, well, my name's Emily.
704
00:46:20,309 --> 00:46:22,943
My parents had
very, very low expectations.
705
00:46:22,945 --> 00:46:24,412
They must be pretty hyped,
706
00:46:24,414 --> 00:46:25,983
you turned out pretty creative.
707
00:46:26,516 --> 00:46:28,050
What makes you say that?
708
00:46:28,918 --> 00:46:31,519
You have the whole
quirky girl vibe going.
709
00:46:31,521 --> 00:46:32,890
Oh, Jesus!
710
00:46:34,023 --> 00:46:34,856
- What?
- That is so condescending.
711
00:46:34,858 --> 00:46:36,191
It's not condescending...
712
00:46:36,193 --> 00:46:38,392
Saying you're quirky
means saying you're interesting.
713
00:46:38,394 --> 00:46:39,228
It's a compliment.
714
00:46:40,563 --> 00:46:41,932
No, it's not because
you would never call a guy that.
715
00:46:43,300 --> 00:46:44,201
With a guy you'd use
another word like "eccentric,"
716
00:46:45,735 --> 00:46:47,034
but with a girl, you need a word
that recognizes her uniqueness,
717
00:46:47,036 --> 00:46:49,771
but at the same time
devalues her intelligence.
718
00:46:49,773 --> 00:46:52,373
Like "her delightful whimsy could
never make a cogentargument,"
719
00:46:52,375 --> 00:46:54,541
highlighting
your unconscious sexism.
720
00:46:54,543 --> 00:46:56,376
Well, you're not quirky,
721
00:46:56,378 --> 00:46:59,115
but you're definitely
kind of a bitch.
722
00:46:59,548 --> 00:47:00,416
Thank you.
723
00:47:01,050 --> 00:47:02,152
You're welcome.
724
00:47:09,126 --> 00:47:10,961
- Oh no.
- Sorry.
725
00:47:12,061 --> 00:47:12,862
Thank you.
726
00:47:16,333 --> 00:47:17,201
Alright.
727
00:47:17,467 --> 00:47:19,099
Oh shit, it's my work.
728
00:47:19,101 --> 00:47:21,001
Don't answer it. Hang it up.
729
00:47:21,003 --> 00:47:22,170
Hit reject.
730
00:47:22,172 --> 00:47:22,840
What?
731
00:47:24,141 --> 00:47:24,575
They said it would take
a few days to cremate him,
732
00:47:25,675 --> 00:47:25,741
so I'll probably be here
over the weekend,
733
00:47:27,344 --> 00:47:27,411
but I have my laptop, and can
do all my work from here.
734
00:47:28,378 --> 00:47:28,445
Emily, let's be real.
735
00:47:30,780 --> 00:47:32,014
This isjust not
a priority for you.
736
00:47:33,516 --> 00:47:33,583
Wait.
What are you talking about?
737
00:47:34,449 --> 00:47:35,218
Do you think I planned this?
738
00:47:36,954 --> 00:47:40,289
Listen, I have all the assets, I can
just upload the cuts to Dropbox.
739
00:47:40,523 --> 00:47:43,523
Yeah, sounds like you're working
really really hard over there.
740
00:47:43,525 --> 00:47:44,791
Let's face it, Emily.
741
00:47:44,793 --> 00:47:46,559
You're just not
a right fit with us anymore.
742
00:47:46,561 --> 00:47:50,067
Okay, if this is about the auditions,
I can stop going for a few weeks.
743
00:47:50,266 --> 00:47:51,566
I really need the job.
744
00:47:51,568 --> 00:47:54,534
Hey Todd, my cat died!
745
00:47:54,536 --> 00:47:56,269
I needed to be here for him.
746
00:47:56,271 --> 00:47:57,671
Come on, Emily.
747
00:47:57,673 --> 00:47:59,509
It's just a fucking cat.
748
00:48:02,311 --> 00:48:04,612
"It's just a fucking cat"?
749
00:48:04,614 --> 00:48:05,679
You know what?
750
00:48:05,681 --> 00:48:06,449
Fuck you!
751
00:48:06,750 --> 00:48:07,483
Fuck you!
752
00:48:08,217 --> 00:48:09,886
Fuck Pharmtech!
753
00:48:10,086 --> 00:48:12,452
And fuck the man! I quit!
754
00:48:16,559 --> 00:48:17,394
I quit!
755
00:48:20,396 --> 00:48:21,530
Wooo!
756
00:49:40,409 --> 00:49:41,876
Hey, is this your phone?
757
00:49:41,878 --> 00:49:43,747
I found it in the bushes.
758
00:49:44,213 --> 00:49:46,182
- Yeah, thanks.
- Sure.
759
00:49:47,650 --> 00:49:49,749
This message is for Emily
Martin.
760
00:49:49,751 --> 00:49:53,389
We're calling to let you know that Mr.
Roosevelt is ready.
761
00:49:53,655 --> 00:49:55,491
Oh God... Jen?
762
00:50:01,764 --> 00:50:03,597
Hey, do you want
my roommate to drive you?
763
00:50:03,599 --> 00:50:04,731
No, it's okay.
764
00:50:04,733 --> 00:50:06,702
- Bye!
- Bye!
765
00:50:23,353 --> 00:50:25,655
Hello.
766
00:50:25,855 --> 00:50:27,157
I'm here to pick up my cat.
767
00:50:28,458 --> 00:50:30,594
Okay. What procedure
did you drop him off for?
768
00:50:30,793 --> 00:50:33,396
Oh no, I'm sorry,
I'm here to pick up my dead cat.
769
00:50:33,663 --> 00:50:34,896
Mr. Roosevelt?
770
00:50:34,898 --> 00:50:36,033
Oh...
771
00:50:37,166 --> 00:50:39,068
I'm sorry,
Mr. Roosevelt is not here.
772
00:50:39,568 --> 00:50:41,235
What do you mean he's not here?
773
00:50:41,237 --> 00:50:43,170
Someone already picked him up.
774
00:50:43,172 --> 00:50:45,840
Wait, you just let some stranger
take my cat's ashes home?
775
00:50:45,842 --> 00:50:48,342
Don't you check people's IDs
or something?
776
00:50:48,344 --> 00:50:49,179
Who was it?
777
00:50:49,646 --> 00:50:51,112
It was a woman...
778
00:50:51,114 --> 00:50:54,483
She bought a different urn.
It should be on the invoice.
779
00:50:56,686 --> 00:50:58,755
- Celeste Jones.
- Celeste Jones.
780
00:51:10,900 --> 00:51:11,965
Eric!
781
00:51:11,967 --> 00:51:12,802
Celeste!
782
00:51:44,000 --> 00:51:46,503
- Lean forward, push your back up.
- I'm gonna lean you back...
783
00:51:50,373 --> 00:51:51,273
Oh, Emily.
784
00:51:51,773 --> 00:51:53,342
Emily's home.
785
00:51:54,443 --> 00:51:56,480
Why did you pick up
Mr. Roosevelt?
786
00:51:57,713 --> 00:51:58,481
Pardon me?
787
00:51:59,382 --> 00:52:00,750
Why did you pick up the ashes?
788
00:52:01,516 --> 00:52:03,351
They called me.
789
00:52:03,353 --> 00:52:05,789
Why did they call you?
790
00:52:07,456 --> 00:52:09,990
Well, I called to check in
this morning.
791
00:52:09,992 --> 00:52:13,728
And later today they said
they tried calling you but
792
00:52:13,730 --> 00:52:15,798
couldn't get ahold of you.
793
00:52:16,699 --> 00:52:17,901
And what about the urn?
794
00:52:18,400 --> 00:52:20,333
Oh, yeah...
795
00:52:20,335 --> 00:52:21,969
You should have seen what
they put him in.
796
00:52:21,971 --> 00:52:24,173
It looked like it was
the cheapest one they had.
797
00:52:24,373 --> 00:52:26,342
It was the second cheapest.
798
00:52:29,512 --> 00:52:31,845
I guess that's it. We have
him back. Time to bury him.
799
00:52:31,847 --> 00:52:32,715
Do you have a shovel?
800
00:52:34,050 --> 00:52:34,417
Or do you want to
just put him in your compost?
801
00:52:38,353 --> 00:52:39,155
What?
802
00:52:40,257 --> 00:52:41,258
Celeste and I thought
it might be nice
803
00:52:42,492 --> 00:52:43,523
to have some friends
come over tomorrow...
804
00:52:43,525 --> 00:52:46,529
during the day
and pay their respects.
805
00:52:46,730 --> 00:52:50,534
Just a small gathering
tomorrow early after breakfast.
806
00:52:51,034 --> 00:52:52,400
Like a brunch?
807
00:52:52,402 --> 00:52:53,570
Yes! Exactly.
808
00:52:54,771 --> 00:52:55,503
A few of my friends
are bringing some dishes
809
00:52:55,505 --> 00:52:57,470
and there'll be mimosas.
810
00:52:57,472 --> 00:52:59,643
Oh mimosas...
811
00:53:00,009 --> 00:53:02,742
But don't worry, you don't have
to bring anything. Just yourself.
812
00:53:02,744 --> 00:53:04,179
And your memories.
813
00:53:18,760 --> 00:53:19,929
Here...
814
00:53:30,907 --> 00:53:32,542
I'll keep him safe.
815
00:54:22,057 --> 00:54:22,858
Eric!
816
00:54:24,427 --> 00:54:26,092
Hey, where's Celeste?
817
00:54:26,094 --> 00:54:27,126
She left for book club.
818
00:54:27,128 --> 00:54:30,599
Jesus, Eric! Book club?
Seriously?
819
00:54:30,800 --> 00:54:32,499
- Okay, what's going on?
- Celeste!
820
00:54:32,501 --> 00:54:33,800
How could you let her
do this to me?
821
00:54:33,802 --> 00:54:34,703
Do what?
822
00:54:35,905 --> 00:54:37,204
Em, Celeste has been
nothing but nice to you.
823
00:54:37,206 --> 00:54:39,139
No, I know that's
what she's making it seem like,
824
00:54:39,141 --> 00:54:40,740
but she's trying
to make me look bad.
825
00:54:40,742 --> 00:54:41,742
Calm down!
826
00:54:41,744 --> 00:54:42,012
What?
827
00:54:42,846 --> 00:54:43,744
This is not about Celeste.
828
00:54:43,746 --> 00:54:45,979
Of course it's about Celeste.
829
00:54:45,981 --> 00:54:48,684
- No, it's not!
- Yes, it is!
830
00:54:49,518 --> 00:54:52,388
No, it's not.
831
00:54:52,688 --> 00:54:53,523
Don't.
832
00:54:53,856 --> 00:54:55,358
Don't do this.
833
00:54:56,791 --> 00:54:58,958
It's about us...
834
00:54:58,960 --> 00:55:00,796
Come on, give it to me.
835
00:55:03,199 --> 00:55:04,701
Maybe you're right.
836
00:55:06,101 --> 00:55:07,601
But what do we do?
837
00:55:07,603 --> 00:55:10,070
I don't know
838
00:55:10,072 --> 00:55:11,708
but can we just talk?
839
00:55:25,922 --> 00:55:26,789
Do you remember
840
00:55:28,291 --> 00:55:29,959
how we were gonna improvise a
whole album based on our fights?
841
00:55:30,159 --> 00:55:31,327
Yeah.
842
00:55:35,530 --> 00:55:38,032
Why didn't that happen?
843
00:55:38,034 --> 00:55:39,867
Because you left.
844
00:55:39,869 --> 00:55:40,937
No...
845
00:55:41,204 --> 00:55:42,836
You should play this.
846
00:55:42,838 --> 00:55:44,170
Is your guitar in the shed?
847
00:55:44,172 --> 00:55:45,639
No, Em what? No.
848
00:55:45,641 --> 00:55:46,876
Play it! No.
849
00:55:47,476 --> 00:55:49,011
This is gonna be great.
850
00:56:04,927 --> 00:56:05,929
You were saying...
851
00:56:07,262 --> 00:56:08,130
Because I...
852
00:56:09,164 --> 00:56:10,132
I'll tune it.
853
00:56:11,266 --> 00:56:12,402
What are you doing?
854
00:56:16,838 --> 00:56:19,572
What do you mean? I thought
we were both doing this.
855
00:56:19,574 --> 00:56:20,777
I'm sorry.
856
00:56:22,512 --> 00:56:24,545
Let's just get out of here.
857
00:56:25,715 --> 00:56:28,050
- You have to try this one.
- Oh yeah?
858
00:56:30,853 --> 00:56:31,721
Fuck!
859
00:56:32,588 --> 00:56:34,391
- Oh, my God.
- It's so hot.
860
00:56:34,789 --> 00:56:37,126
- Why didn't you tell me?
- It is so hot!
861
00:56:40,762 --> 00:56:42,295
Damn, damn!
862
00:56:42,297 --> 00:56:43,197
Good though.
863
00:56:43,199 --> 00:56:45,601
I missed tacos.
864
00:56:46,735 --> 00:56:49,438
Your siblings in LA
do not compare.
865
00:56:50,172 --> 00:56:51,074
What? Really?
866
00:56:52,175 --> 00:56:54,275
I thought LA had
the best Mexican food.
867
00:56:54,277 --> 00:56:55,976
No. That's a myth.
868
00:56:55,978 --> 00:56:57,547
It's really awful.
869
00:56:58,914 --> 00:57:01,148
I think it's because
LA is obsessed with burritos.
870
00:57:01,150 --> 00:57:02,117
Who needs those?
871
00:57:03,284 --> 00:57:03,983
Burritos are just
sleeping bags for rice.
872
00:57:03,985 --> 00:57:05,754
I want the flavor.
873
00:57:06,856 --> 00:57:07,755
Can I try that one?
874
00:57:07,757 --> 00:57:08,625
Yeah.
875
00:57:09,057 --> 00:57:09,826
It's mild.
876
00:57:11,126 --> 00:57:13,462
I'm a pussy and it feels good
to say out loud.
877
00:57:14,730 --> 00:57:15,831
So...
878
00:57:16,932 --> 00:57:18,264
How's that going?
879
00:57:18,266 --> 00:57:19,902
- You mean LA?
- Yeah.
880
00:57:21,003 --> 00:57:22,472
I'm managing.
881
00:57:23,940 --> 00:57:27,143
How's real estate-ing going?
882
00:57:27,643 --> 00:57:29,742
It's more hypothetical than
real...
883
00:57:29,744 --> 00:57:30,811
so far but...
884
00:57:30,813 --> 00:57:32,045
It's good,
I'm taking courses and
885
00:57:32,047 --> 00:57:35,751
I'm shadowing this guy
that Celeste knows.
886
00:57:36,217 --> 00:57:37,085
It's good.
887
00:57:42,157 --> 00:57:42,657
Em?
888
00:57:46,329 --> 00:57:47,530
I missed you.
889
00:57:51,032 --> 00:57:52,101
Dude!
890
00:57:52,668 --> 00:57:53,967
Emily Martin?
891
00:57:53,969 --> 00:57:55,070
Shut up!
892
00:57:55,338 --> 00:57:57,070
Stacy, hi.
893
00:57:57,072 --> 00:58:01,075
Sean, I literally was just talking
about Emily, my college roommate.
894
00:58:01,077 --> 00:58:03,811
God, what are you doing here?
You're like famous.
895
00:58:03,813 --> 00:58:06,914
She did that spaghetti bath
video I was telling you about.
896
00:58:06,916 --> 00:58:08,715
It has like 10 million views.
897
00:58:08,717 --> 00:58:10,686
You must have made so much
money.
898
00:58:10,920 --> 00:58:12,920
Yeah... no.
899
00:58:12,922 --> 00:58:14,054
I couldn't monetize it.
900
00:58:14,056 --> 00:58:15,188
What the fuck? Why?
901
00:58:15,190 --> 00:58:17,291
Because of
the Michael Jackson song.
902
00:58:17,293 --> 00:58:19,095
Fuck! Fuck that guy.
903
00:58:19,894 --> 00:58:22,130
So, what are you two doing?
904
00:58:22,331 --> 00:58:24,968
- We are just eating tacos.
- Tacos.
905
00:58:25,300 --> 00:58:28,837
Hey, Sean and I are going to
this house party up the street.
906
00:58:29,070 --> 00:58:32,708
You guys should come.
There's gonna be beers and fun.
907
00:58:32,942 --> 00:58:35,642
No, we were kind of
in the middle of something.
908
00:58:35,644 --> 00:58:36,278
I'd do it.
909
00:58:37,612 --> 00:58:39,979
Yeah, he's doing it.
Come on, you should go. Come on!
910
00:58:39,981 --> 00:58:40,516
Please!
911
00:58:46,655 --> 00:58:48,625
BRB, PBR!
912
00:58:51,427 --> 00:58:52,695
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
913
00:58:52,927 --> 00:58:55,565
Oooh! I can't seem to lose you!
914
00:58:55,764 --> 00:58:56,665
Oh my God.
915
00:58:57,733 --> 00:58:58,768
- Oh my God.
- Em, how you doing?
916
00:59:00,335 --> 00:59:00,967
- Jen, what are you doing here?
- I didn't mean to scare you.
917
00:59:00,969 --> 00:59:02,137
No, it's okay.
918
00:59:03,338 --> 00:59:03,404
It's my friend's house.
We're about to play.
919
00:59:03,972 --> 00:59:04,038
Oh, cool.
920
00:59:05,074 --> 00:59:06,175
- Hey, how you doing?
- Good.
921
00:59:07,242 --> 00:59:07,810
- How it is going, bro?
- Good.
922
00:59:08,577 --> 00:59:09,075
Alright, see you guys.
923
00:59:09,077 --> 00:59:09,812
Yeah.
924
00:59:11,780 --> 00:59:12,681
How do I know her?
925
00:59:14,150 --> 00:59:16,916
She's the waitress I ran into
at the French restaurant.
926
00:59:16,918 --> 00:59:18,918
- And just now.
- Yeah.
927
00:59:18,920 --> 00:59:19,952
Again.
928
00:59:21,791 --> 00:59:23,626
We're the Leeks.
929
00:59:54,757 --> 00:59:56,326
Oh my God!
930
00:59:56,958 --> 00:59:58,325
You were so amazing!
931
00:59:58,327 --> 00:59:59,162
Oh, thanks man.
932
01:00:00,362 --> 01:00:02,095
Wait. Why didn't tell me
that you were in a band?
933
01:00:02,097 --> 01:00:04,197
- Well, you never asked.
- Oh.
934
01:00:04,199 --> 01:00:05,999
- You want a cigarette?
- No, I'm good.
935
01:00:06,001 --> 01:00:06,803
Okay.
936
01:00:07,869 --> 01:00:09,371
What the hell,
gimme a cigarette.
937
01:00:10,873 --> 01:00:11,505
- Yeah, you want one too?
- You know what, I'll take one.
938
01:00:11,507 --> 01:00:12,275
Yeah. Why not?
939
01:00:13,509 --> 01:00:15,077
We're all doing it.
I love peer pressure.
940
01:00:25,855 --> 01:00:28,387
Yeah, you know,
I was just like, "Fuck guys."
941
01:00:28,389 --> 01:00:29,555
And then I got on Tinder.
942
01:00:29,557 --> 01:00:32,159
And then I met Sean
three days ago...
943
01:00:32,161 --> 01:00:34,130
It's been fucking amazing.
944
01:00:42,403 --> 01:00:43,072
Wait...
945
01:00:44,306 --> 01:00:45,805
Do you see celebrities
all the time in LA?
946
01:00:45,807 --> 01:00:48,275
Well, one New Year's Eve,
947
01:00:48,277 --> 01:00:51,110
I saw Thom York buying
deodorant at a Ralph's.
948
01:00:51,112 --> 01:00:53,115
Wait, what's a Ralph's?
949
01:00:53,815 --> 01:00:57,886
It's a HEB, but it's like HEB.
950
01:00:58,487 --> 01:01:00,088
But why is it called Ralph's?
951
01:01:13,001 --> 01:01:14,068
Hey everybody!
952
01:01:14,070 --> 01:01:16,103
Who wants to see
a really funny video
953
01:01:16,105 --> 01:01:17,938
with the most famous person
from Austin Texas?
954
01:01:17,940 --> 01:01:18,273
No.
955
01:01:19,240 --> 01:01:19,873
My friend
Emily Martin right here.
956
01:01:19,875 --> 01:01:20,677
No, please...
957
01:01:21,710 --> 01:01:22,244
- Play it.
- Come on, play it!
958
01:01:23,378 --> 01:01:25,445
I think
it's like "spaghetti balls"?
959
01:01:25,447 --> 01:01:27,347
Uhh, "meatballs"?
960
01:01:27,349 --> 01:01:28,514
Uhh... "tub girl"!
961
01:01:28,516 --> 01:01:29,251
Definitely not "tub girl".
962
01:01:31,853 --> 01:01:32,254
I can't hear anything!
963
01:01:32,755 --> 01:01:33,923
Ohhhh!
964
01:01:41,329 --> 01:01:43,432
Ohhhh!
965
01:01:55,110 --> 01:01:57,012
OOhhhh!
966
01:01:57,413 --> 01:01:59,612
More sauce! More sauce!
967
01:01:59,614 --> 01:02:01,783
More sauce! More sauce!
968
01:02:02,083 --> 01:02:03,885
More sauce! More sauce!
969
01:02:04,253 --> 01:02:06,856
More sauce! More sauce! More...!
970
01:02:07,155 --> 01:02:09,291
- OOHHH!
- YEAH!
971
01:02:10,960 --> 01:02:14,494
More sauce! More sauce!
More sauce!
972
01:02:14,496 --> 01:02:18,267
More sauce! More sauce!
More sauce!
973
01:02:21,003 --> 01:02:23,637
Dude, how did you get
so many noodles in that tub?
974
01:02:23,639 --> 01:02:26,442
Did you smell like
tomatoes for weeks?
975
01:02:26,909 --> 01:02:29,309
Why are you so bummed out?
People loved it.
976
01:02:29,311 --> 01:02:32,144
I dunno.
It's really hard to explain.
977
01:02:32,146 --> 01:02:34,882
Dude, turn that sad clown frown
upside down.
978
01:02:34,884 --> 01:02:37,385
Is this all
I'm gonna be known for?
979
01:02:49,231 --> 01:02:51,901
You always act
like nothing's wrong.
980
01:02:53,268 --> 01:02:56,138
You always tell me
that you're fine.
981
01:02:57,306 --> 01:03:00,208
Dark clouds
are falling on your head.
982
01:03:01,309 --> 01:03:03,411
Just like a sad little clown.
983
01:03:05,246 --> 01:03:09,650
You got to turn
that frown upside down
984
01:03:09,652 --> 01:03:12,221
My sad little clown.
985
01:03:13,222 --> 01:03:16,222
You're not fooling me, baby.
986
01:03:16,224 --> 01:03:21,197
I can see
a sad little clown in misery.
987
01:03:23,097 --> 01:03:25,934
You're my sad little clown.
988
01:03:27,436 --> 01:03:30,106
You're my sad little clown.
989
01:03:31,507 --> 01:03:34,342
You're my sad little clown.
990
01:03:35,344 --> 01:03:39,414
Turn your frown upside down.
991
01:04:10,713 --> 01:04:13,516
WHOA!
992
01:04:15,184 --> 01:04:17,717
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- Whoa, whoa...
993
01:04:17,719 --> 01:04:19,922
- Man overboard!
- No!
994
01:04:21,556 --> 01:04:22,688
- Alright.
- I'm sorry.
995
01:04:22,690 --> 01:04:24,023
I got you.
996
01:04:24,025 --> 01:04:25,027
I got you.
997
01:04:25,693 --> 01:04:26,929
You got me!
998
01:04:27,362 --> 01:04:28,630
I'm a menace to society.
999
01:04:29,097 --> 01:04:31,063
Wow, you're a fucking bad ass.
1000
01:04:31,065 --> 01:04:32,601
- I'm impressed.
- Yeah.
1001
01:04:33,168 --> 01:04:35,471
Just leave these bikes for dead.
1002
01:04:42,077 --> 01:04:44,080
We shouldn't...
1003
01:04:44,380 --> 01:04:45,248
No.
1004
01:04:46,715 --> 01:04:48,284
...do anything.
1005
01:05:10,338 --> 01:05:12,738
- We can't do this.
- No, I know.
1006
01:05:12,740 --> 01:05:15,175
This is not a thing that
we should be doing.
1007
01:05:15,177 --> 01:05:17,209
- We should not be doing this.
- No.
1008
01:05:17,211 --> 01:05:18,811
It's not like...
1009
01:05:18,813 --> 01:05:19,915
No, we can't...
1010
01:05:21,150 --> 01:05:23,286
I know. It's not like
I planned on doing this.
1011
01:05:24,318 --> 01:05:25,521
I have a girlfriend.
1012
01:05:26,822 --> 01:05:27,990
Yeah.
1013
01:05:29,123 --> 01:05:30,959
Well, she's more like
a life coach.
1014
01:05:31,827 --> 01:05:32,659
Come on.
1015
01:05:32,661 --> 01:05:35,061
No, Eric...
1016
01:05:35,063 --> 01:05:36,097
You come on.
1017
01:05:38,099 --> 01:05:39,969
She's trying to change you.
1018
01:05:41,737 --> 01:05:43,070
She sweeps into your life and thinks
she knows what's best for you,
1019
01:05:43,072 --> 01:05:45,671
and wants to take away the
things you care about?
1020
01:05:45,673 --> 01:05:47,442
For what?
So you can have a "real" job?
1021
01:05:47,708 --> 01:05:50,409
Did you see yourself tonight?
You fucking killed it!
1022
01:05:50,411 --> 01:05:52,479
And you loved it!
And you know you did!
1023
01:05:52,481 --> 01:05:55,685
And you're willing to give
that all up for some girl?
1024
01:05:55,885 --> 01:05:58,117
I've tried the thing.
I've been here for 10 years.
1025
01:05:58,119 --> 01:05:59,221
Nothing has happened.
1026
01:06:00,521 --> 01:06:01,720
Okay. So fucking Austin
isn't working out for you.
1027
01:06:01,722 --> 01:06:02,854
Fuck Austin.
1028
01:06:02,856 --> 01:06:04,190
I always said
you should go on tour.
1029
01:06:04,192 --> 01:06:07,793
And just leave everything
and struggle and be alone.
1030
01:06:07,795 --> 01:06:09,662
So you're alone for a little
bit.
1031
01:06:09,664 --> 01:06:12,264
Sometimes you have to give up
things you care about
1032
01:06:12,266 --> 01:06:14,169
to get the things you want.
1033
01:06:14,402 --> 01:06:17,105
Yeah, and how's
that working out for you.
1034
01:06:19,574 --> 01:06:22,275
Okay, Eric,
I just want to know, I just...
1035
01:06:22,277 --> 01:06:26,179
If you could have anything,
any career, any dream...
1036
01:06:26,181 --> 01:06:29,719
What would it really be? Honestly,
just ask yourself that.
1037
01:06:30,885 --> 01:06:33,389
Honestly, I just want a family.
1038
01:06:39,128 --> 01:06:41,263
Is that the Klonopin talking?
1039
01:06:42,364 --> 01:06:43,065
What?
1040
01:06:44,532 --> 01:06:49,170
I saw the prescription drugs
in the cabinet in the bathroom.
1041
01:06:49,538 --> 01:06:50,673
It's fucking Celeste...
1042
01:06:52,041 --> 01:06:54,740
She has you drugged up so
you'll just do whatever she says
1043
01:06:54,742 --> 01:06:57,543
so you'll just be this perfect
little house husband.
1044
01:06:57,545 --> 01:07:00,679
I'm so fucking sad
for you right now.
1045
01:07:00,681 --> 01:07:02,249
Are you a fucking lunatic?
1046
01:07:02,251 --> 01:07:03,252
What?
1047
01:07:04,353 --> 01:07:05,784
Celeste didn't put me
on Klonopin.
1048
01:07:05,786 --> 01:07:07,287
She helped me get off of it.
1049
01:07:07,289 --> 01:07:09,057
I was on it because of you.
1050
01:07:09,925 --> 01:07:12,495
When you left,
I was a fucking wreck.
1051
01:07:12,695 --> 01:07:14,427
I loved you...
1052
01:07:14,429 --> 01:07:16,097
And you disappeared.
1053
01:07:16,465 --> 01:07:17,298
No calls.
1054
01:07:17,766 --> 01:07:19,068
Bye.
1055
01:07:19,701 --> 01:07:21,804
Do you know how much that hurt?
1056
01:07:22,538 --> 01:07:25,237
I didn't know I hurt you.
1057
01:07:25,239 --> 01:07:27,706
I didn't know that I hurt you.
You never said that.
1058
01:07:27,708 --> 01:07:29,508
What the fuck did you think
was gonna happen?
1059
01:07:29,510 --> 01:07:30,242
I don't know!
1060
01:07:30,244 --> 01:07:31,577
What did you think?
1061
01:07:31,579 --> 01:07:34,349
I don't know. I didn't know
that you needed me.
1062
01:07:35,384 --> 01:07:37,249
Well, I didn't need you.
1063
01:07:37,251 --> 01:07:38,454
Okay, I didn't...
1064
01:07:39,954 --> 01:07:41,887
Eric... I just... I don't know,
I didn't think it was over.
1065
01:07:41,889 --> 01:07:43,358
You thought I was waiting?
1066
01:07:43,559 --> 01:07:45,061
No, of course
I didn't think that.
1067
01:07:47,362 --> 01:07:49,329
I don't know, I think in some way
I thought I was doing it for you.
1068
01:07:49,331 --> 01:07:52,668
I'm struggling out there.
I'm a miserable person.
1069
01:07:52,934 --> 01:07:54,434
Can we be very clear?
1070
01:07:54,436 --> 01:07:56,802
You did not do that for me.
1071
01:07:56,804 --> 01:07:58,507
You did that for you.
1072
01:07:59,407 --> 01:08:01,277
Everything that you do...
1073
01:08:01,643 --> 01:08:03,445
is just for yourself.
1074
01:08:16,425 --> 01:08:17,656
Emily, let's just go home.
1075
01:08:17,658 --> 01:08:19,360
I don't have a home!
1076
01:08:36,744 --> 01:08:38,678
Hey girl!
1077
01:08:38,680 --> 01:08:39,815
FUCK YOU!
1078
01:08:46,255 --> 01:08:48,556
Is that an invitation?
1079
01:09:02,003 --> 01:09:04,403
Oh, sorry,
I don't have any cup holders.
1080
01:09:04,405 --> 01:09:05,306
It's okay.
1081
01:09:11,380 --> 01:09:12,181
Do you wanna see my gun?
1082
01:09:12,847 --> 01:09:15,150
- Excuse me?
- I have a gun.
1083
01:09:15,350 --> 01:09:16,217
Let me show you.
1084
01:09:17,051 --> 01:09:18,286
- Like a real gun?
- Yeah.
1085
01:09:19,453 --> 01:09:20,653
- Oh! Whoa...
- It's like an antique.
1086
01:09:20,655 --> 01:09:21,189
Okay.
1087
01:09:21,957 --> 01:09:24,393
It's a .45 from 1911.
1088
01:09:24,626 --> 01:09:26,960
It's like literally
over a hundred years old.
1089
01:09:26,962 --> 01:09:29,465
Yeah, that's the math there.
1090
01:09:29,831 --> 01:09:32,898
You want to see the bullets too?
1091
01:09:32,900 --> 01:09:35,701
No, I don't. I'm actually
pretty good. Thank you.
1092
01:09:35,703 --> 01:09:37,836
You can put it away now.
1093
01:09:37,838 --> 01:09:38,972
You don't want to hold it?
1094
01:09:38,974 --> 01:09:40,176
Just hold it.
1095
01:09:41,443 --> 01:09:43,279
- I'm okay. I'm fine.
- Okay, it's harmless.
1096
01:09:43,679 --> 01:09:45,378
It's not gonna bite you.
1097
01:09:45,380 --> 01:09:47,847
It's not. It's gonna shoot me.
1098
01:09:56,725 --> 01:09:59,195
You have like...
1099
01:09:59,395 --> 01:10:01,361
I was gonna say
you've got goose bumps.
1100
01:10:01,363 --> 01:10:01,664
Yeah.
1101
01:10:02,230 --> 01:10:03,865
It's cold.
1102
01:10:08,904 --> 01:10:09,936
Huh...
1103
01:10:09,938 --> 01:10:10,905
Tickles.
1104
01:10:12,440 --> 01:10:13,242
You're funny.
1105
01:10:22,984 --> 01:10:24,286
Say it again!
1106
01:10:24,485 --> 01:10:25,720
You're funny.
1107
01:10:31,893 --> 01:10:33,093
I'll do it...
1108
01:10:33,095 --> 01:10:34,626
- Sorry.
- It's okay.
1109
01:10:34,628 --> 01:10:36,396
Did you wear braces?
1110
01:10:36,398 --> 01:10:36,632
What?
1111
01:10:38,065 --> 01:10:39,866
Did you ever wear braces?
You have like super nice teeth.
1112
01:10:39,868 --> 01:10:40,502
Shhh.
1113
01:10:43,372 --> 01:10:44,271
Okay, love.
1114
01:10:44,273 --> 01:10:45,841
- I got it.
- So sexy.
1115
01:10:46,875 --> 01:10:47,741
Oh. You okay?
1116
01:10:47,743 --> 01:10:50,579
It's okay. I still have a boner.
1117
01:10:52,581 --> 01:10:53,746
I can't get this thing off.
1118
01:10:53,748 --> 01:10:55,915
It's a bralette.
1119
01:10:55,917 --> 01:10:58,654
It's like a training bra,
but for adults.
1120
01:10:59,887 --> 01:11:01,390
Ah! God!
1121
01:11:02,090 --> 01:11:02,925
Oh...
1122
01:11:05,827 --> 01:11:06,826
Yeah, I like it...
1123
01:11:06,828 --> 01:11:07,529
Oh!
1124
01:11:08,563 --> 01:11:09,765
- Ah!
- Ah, that felt good...
1125
01:11:10,131 --> 01:11:11,764
That's it.
1126
01:11:23,043 --> 01:11:24,512
Ah, shit.
1127
01:11:25,113 --> 01:11:26,682
Oh, my God.
1128
01:11:42,197 --> 01:11:43,666
Oh...
1129
01:12:39,087 --> 01:12:40,089
Hi.
1130
01:12:45,793 --> 01:12:47,395
What's the occasion?
1131
01:12:50,164 --> 01:12:52,098
Do you wanna get
some breakfast or something?
1132
01:12:52,100 --> 01:12:52,835
No.
1133
01:12:53,734 --> 01:12:54,733
You stepped on my shoe, Dude.
1134
01:12:54,735 --> 01:12:55,503
Go.
1135
01:12:56,604 --> 01:12:57,070
We can get brunch somewhere
else.
1136
01:12:57,072 --> 01:12:57,672
No.
1137
01:12:58,439 --> 01:12:58,840
You can't smoke here.
1138
01:12:59,307 --> 01:12:59,875
Go.
1139
01:13:00,641 --> 01:13:01,409
Not on your property.
1140
01:13:02,277 --> 01:13:03,643
Come on smart ass, just go!
1141
01:13:03,645 --> 01:13:05,245
Dude, hey, what the hell!
1142
01:13:05,247 --> 01:13:07,580
Do you want to hang out later?
1143
01:13:07,582 --> 01:13:08,450
- No.
- Alright.
1144
01:13:08,984 --> 01:13:10,983
- Jesus Christ.
- Okay, great...
1145
01:13:10,985 --> 01:13:11,886
Well, awesome.
1146
01:13:13,087 --> 01:13:14,989
- We did just boop, you know.
- Oh God.
1147
01:13:16,457 --> 01:13:17,723
Alright, well, I'll call you.
I don't have your number!
1148
01:13:17,725 --> 01:13:18,926
I'll google you.
1149
01:13:19,761 --> 01:13:22,094
Alright, well, have fun.
1150
01:13:22,096 --> 01:13:25,134
Save a piece of cat cake for me.
1151
01:13:29,938 --> 01:13:34,040
While we all mourn the loss
of a member of our community,
1152
01:13:34,042 --> 01:13:38,544
it's important to think of this
as a celebration of a life.
1153
01:13:38,546 --> 01:13:41,849
- To Mr. Roosevelt.
- To Mr. Roosevelt.
1154
01:13:43,885 --> 01:13:48,157
And thank you to Melanie
for making this beautiful pie.
1155
01:13:48,756 --> 01:13:51,192
I flew the pecans in
from South Carolina.
1156
01:13:52,060 --> 01:13:54,727
But it's nothing compared
to Bethany's cake.
1157
01:13:54,729 --> 01:13:56,763
I just found the picture
on Facebook,
1158
01:13:56,765 --> 01:13:58,600
the cake shop did the rest.
1159
01:13:58,800 --> 01:14:00,599
Very thoughtful, Bethany.
Thank you.
1160
01:14:00,601 --> 01:14:03,505
Everybody,
let's take a picture together!
1161
01:14:04,905 --> 01:14:06,707
Okay, everybody get in.
1162
01:14:07,207 --> 01:14:07,975
Oh my God.
1163
01:14:09,810 --> 01:14:10,876
Alright.
1164
01:14:10,878 --> 01:14:12,980
Oh, get the pie...
1165
01:14:13,582 --> 01:14:16,648
in the picture and the cake,
it's so beautiful.
1166
01:14:16,650 --> 01:14:17,452
Beautiful!
1167
01:14:18,319 --> 01:14:19,887
Resident photographer here.
1168
01:14:20,854 --> 01:14:23,658
Group effort.
Oh and don't forget this!
1169
01:14:25,260 --> 01:14:27,896
You hold it.
You were like his aunt.
1170
01:14:30,030 --> 01:14:30,929
Okay.
1171
01:14:30,931 --> 01:14:32,063
Alright, everybody squeeze in.
1172
01:14:32,065 --> 01:14:35,103
One, two, three...
Say Mr. Roosevelt.
1173
01:14:35,604 --> 01:14:37,706
Mr. Roosevelt!
1174
01:14:38,273 --> 01:14:39,141
I got it.
1175
01:14:39,640 --> 01:14:41,007
Be sure to tag me.
1176
01:14:41,009 --> 01:14:42,474
Of course.
1177
01:14:42,476 --> 01:14:45,678
I want to propose a toast,
to all of you who came today.
1178
01:14:45,680 --> 01:14:48,714
It's been tough the past
few days for me and Eric,
1179
01:14:48,716 --> 01:14:50,950
but I think Mr. Roosevelt
would have really appreciated
1180
01:14:50,952 --> 01:14:52,087
all of us coming together.
1181
01:14:52,287 --> 01:14:53,588
So thank you.
1182
01:14:54,689 --> 01:14:55,957
- We love you.
- We love you, guys.
1183
01:14:57,225 --> 01:14:59,661
And I want to
especially thank Emily Martin.
1184
01:15:01,695 --> 01:15:05,764
If it wasn't for her, I would
never have gotten to know him.
1185
01:15:05,766 --> 01:15:06,702
To Emily.
1186
01:15:07,368 --> 01:15:08,769
To Emily.
1187
01:15:12,740 --> 01:15:14,208
Don't you fucking do that.
1188
01:15:15,976 --> 01:15:16,845
Excuse me?
1189
01:15:17,945 --> 01:15:20,548
I know what
you're doing, Celeste.
1190
01:15:21,216 --> 01:15:23,182
I don't know
what you're talking about?
1191
01:15:23,184 --> 01:15:24,983
"If it wasn't for her,
1192
01:15:24,985 --> 01:15:26,785
"I wouldn't have gotten
to know him?"
1193
01:15:26,787 --> 01:15:28,623
Okay, we get it.
1194
01:15:28,856 --> 01:15:30,255
You're amazing.
1195
01:15:30,257 --> 01:15:31,324
You win!
1196
01:15:31,326 --> 01:15:32,892
You got the guy!
1197
01:15:32,894 --> 01:15:34,160
You got the house!
1198
01:15:34,162 --> 01:15:34,727
Emily?
1199
01:15:34,729 --> 01:15:35,931
Sweetie...
1200
01:15:36,831 --> 01:15:38,397
We all understand.
1201
01:15:38,399 --> 01:15:40,234
It's okay. We're hurting too.
1202
01:15:40,835 --> 01:15:42,367
I'm sorry. Do I know you?
1203
01:15:42,369 --> 01:15:44,070
Oh, I'm Bonnie.
1204
01:15:44,072 --> 01:15:46,842
Oh okay, Bonnie,
I have a question.
1205
01:15:47,074 --> 01:15:47,809
Did you know him?
1206
01:15:49,877 --> 01:15:51,712
Did you know Teddy Roosevelt?
1207
01:15:52,212 --> 01:15:54,248
No, but I heard a lot about him.
1208
01:15:54,748 --> 01:15:56,749
Oh, you heard a lot about him.
1209
01:15:56,751 --> 01:15:57,849
That's the thing right there.
1210
01:15:57,851 --> 01:15:59,785
None of you knew him.
1211
01:15:59,787 --> 01:16:01,720
You're not here because
you care about Mr. Roosevelt.
1212
01:16:01,722 --> 01:16:03,690
You're here because
you care about yourselves.
1213
01:16:03,692 --> 01:16:04,891
So you can take pictures
1214
01:16:04,893 --> 01:16:06,092
for your Instagrams
and your Facebooks,
1215
01:16:06,094 --> 01:16:08,861
And you can say
"I did something, I was there."
1216
01:16:08,863 --> 01:16:12,167
And you, you bought pecans
from another state?
1217
01:16:12,434 --> 01:16:13,735
Did you overnight it?
1218
01:16:14,435 --> 01:16:15,768
What is that?
1219
01:16:15,770 --> 01:16:16,972
That's insanity!
1220
01:16:18,305 --> 01:16:21,009
That's fucking insane!
That's an insane thing to do!
1221
01:16:21,309 --> 01:16:23,979
Emily, maybe you've had
too much to drink.
1222
01:16:24,878 --> 01:16:25,314
You think?
1223
01:16:26,014 --> 01:16:27,114
Emily...
1224
01:16:28,315 --> 01:16:31,349
I know why you're acting out,
and it's okay.
1225
01:16:31,351 --> 01:16:32,818
Oh, do you?
1226
01:16:32,820 --> 01:16:34,454
You seem to know
everything else,
1227
01:16:34,456 --> 01:16:35,522
so that's not a surprise,
1228
01:16:35,524 --> 01:16:38,694
so why don't you
tell me Celeste why.
1229
01:16:39,828 --> 01:16:41,193
You just feel guilty.
1230
01:16:41,195 --> 01:16:42,130
Oh do I?
1231
01:16:43,197 --> 01:16:45,100
Yes, you feel guilty
for leaving him.
1232
01:16:46,634 --> 01:16:49,736
I'm actually really happy that
you and Eric found each other,
1233
01:16:49,738 --> 01:16:52,104
I think it's really special
what you have so...
1234
01:16:52,106 --> 01:16:53,140
Congratulations.
1235
01:17:00,114 --> 01:17:01,750
No Emily, not Eric.
1236
01:17:03,851 --> 01:17:04,987
Mr. Roosevelt.
1237
01:17:06,755 --> 01:17:09,725
IT'S JUST A FUCKING CAT!
1238
01:17:23,270 --> 01:17:24,139
No, no, no.
1239
01:17:24,838 --> 01:17:25,774
Emily...
1240
01:17:26,673 --> 01:17:28,275
Emily, put Mr. Roosevelt down.
1241
01:17:28,542 --> 01:17:31,777
You don't have to do this.
1242
01:17:31,779 --> 01:17:32,778
Emily...
1243
01:17:32,780 --> 01:17:34,649
Emily... Please.
1244
01:17:34,948 --> 01:17:36,050
Emily.
1245
01:17:38,051 --> 01:17:39,054
I'm sorry.
1246
01:17:40,387 --> 01:17:41,722
Ohhh!
1247
01:17:42,157 --> 01:17:43,125
Get her!
1248
01:17:50,131 --> 01:17:51,667
Mr. Roosevelt!
1249
01:18:13,087 --> 01:18:14,152
Jen!
1250
01:18:14,154 --> 01:18:16,289
Okay, just calm down,
1251
01:18:16,291 --> 01:18:17,793
just start from the beginning.
1252
01:18:17,993 --> 01:18:18,892
What happened with Eric?
1253
01:18:18,894 --> 01:18:21,259
Okay, after we left the party,
1254
01:18:21,261 --> 01:18:23,161
we kind of, sort of kissed.
1255
01:18:23,163 --> 01:18:24,099
And then we had a fight.
1256
01:18:25,300 --> 01:18:26,165
And then, I don't...
I'm such a fuck-up.
1257
01:18:26,167 --> 01:18:27,767
I don't know why I did it...
1258
01:18:27,769 --> 01:18:29,535
Dude, you kissed him. I don't
see what the big deal is.
1259
01:18:29,537 --> 01:18:30,972
No, Jen, I fucked Art.
1260
01:18:31,171 --> 01:18:31,706
What?
1261
01:18:32,807 --> 01:18:33,539
And I woke up with him
at Eric's place.
1262
01:18:33,541 --> 01:18:34,639
Emily.
1263
01:18:34,641 --> 01:18:36,308
There were all these people
there,
1264
01:18:36,310 --> 01:18:37,509
and there was a cake with a picture of Mr.
Roosevelt on it.
1265
01:18:37,511 --> 01:18:40,111
And I freaked out
and then I took the ashes.
1266
01:18:40,113 --> 01:18:41,046
You took the ashes?
1267
01:18:41,048 --> 01:18:41,949
I took the ashes.
1268
01:18:42,417 --> 01:18:43,151
Bad ass.
1269
01:18:43,451 --> 01:18:44,817
Yeah?
1270
01:18:44,819 --> 01:18:47,452
So what are you going to do now?
Are you leaving tomorrow?
1271
01:18:47,454 --> 01:18:48,553
I don't know!
1272
01:18:48,555 --> 01:18:49,921
I don't know! I don't know!
1273
01:18:49,923 --> 01:18:51,389
You could stay here.
1274
01:18:51,391 --> 01:18:54,093
No. I can't, I've already
burned every bridge in Austin.
1275
01:18:54,095 --> 01:18:56,294
I'm gonna go back to LA, and
try to get another editing gig.
1276
01:18:56,296 --> 01:18:57,763
And then audition
for commercials and
1277
01:18:57,765 --> 01:19:00,866
be a desperate improv comedian
who never gets a real job,
1278
01:19:00,868 --> 01:19:03,938
and ends up being
some loser fucking waitress?
1279
01:19:05,239 --> 01:19:07,108
Yeah, you wouldn't want
to do that.
1280
01:19:07,442 --> 01:19:09,243
No, Jen...
1281
01:19:09,543 --> 01:19:12,010
Jen, I didn't...
Obviously, I didn't mean...
1282
01:19:12,012 --> 01:19:13,579
Emily, shut up!
1283
01:19:13,581 --> 01:19:16,485
You are amazing.
Jen, I didn't know...
1284
01:19:17,018 --> 01:19:18,250
I even fucked this up.
1285
01:19:18,252 --> 01:19:19,353
No, you didn't!
1286
01:19:20,287 --> 01:19:23,121
Listen, I'm you're friend,
no matter what.
1287
01:19:23,123 --> 01:19:25,057
But you need to grow the fuck
up.
1288
01:19:25,059 --> 01:19:27,192
You're not the only one in
the world with fucking problems.
1289
01:19:27,194 --> 01:19:29,361
You're right.
I don't deserve friends.
1290
01:19:29,363 --> 01:19:31,597
God, you are so self-pitying!
1291
01:19:31,599 --> 01:19:32,430
I'm sorry!
1292
01:19:32,432 --> 01:19:35,403
Stop saying you're sorry!
1293
01:19:53,087 --> 01:19:53,585
Fuck!
1294
01:19:53,587 --> 01:19:54,055
Fuck!
1295
01:19:54,654 --> 01:19:55,389
Where's my bike?
1296
01:19:57,324 --> 01:19:58,324
Where's my bike?
1297
01:19:58,326 --> 01:19:59,895
Shit, shit...
1298
01:20:00,194 --> 01:20:01,062
Oh my God.
1299
01:20:01,962 --> 01:20:03,629
Someone fucking stole my bike!
1300
01:20:03,631 --> 01:20:05,467
It's so fucking obvious!
1301
01:20:07,467 --> 01:20:09,904
Fuck everyone!
1302
01:20:13,675 --> 01:20:14,543
No, Jen.
1303
01:20:15,109 --> 01:20:16,275
Hey, buddy.
1304
01:20:16,277 --> 01:20:18,945
Jen, Jen, no, I don't want to.
1305
01:20:18,947 --> 01:20:19,711
I'm just here to help.
1306
01:20:19,713 --> 01:20:20,745
You can't do this to me.
1307
01:20:20,747 --> 01:20:22,149
- I'm here to help.
- I don't want it.
1308
01:20:23,216 --> 01:20:23,816
I'll hit you
with a little water.
1309
01:20:23,818 --> 01:20:25,153
No, no, no.
1310
01:20:26,621 --> 01:20:28,387
- Don't do this.
- There's nowhere to go.
1311
01:20:28,389 --> 01:20:29,056
No, no.
1312
01:20:30,224 --> 01:20:31,991
Come on, Em.
You gotta face your fears.
1313
01:20:31,993 --> 01:20:32,060
No.
1314
01:20:35,697 --> 01:20:37,132
No, no.
1315
01:20:37,465 --> 01:20:38,567
- Just trying to help.
- No!
1316
01:20:39,300 --> 01:20:41,002
- Here to help.
- NO!
1317
01:21:08,662 --> 01:21:13,334
Ahhhhhhhhh!
1318
01:21:15,502 --> 01:21:18,907
Mr. Roosevelt!
1319
01:21:20,440 --> 01:21:22,143
I'm sorry!
1320
01:21:25,747 --> 01:21:27,582
I'm so sorry!
1321
01:22:16,564 --> 01:22:18,466
Jen, am I a bad person?
1322
01:22:20,134 --> 01:22:20,969
No...
1323
01:22:22,203 --> 01:22:22,837
There's no way in hell
you're a bad person.
1324
01:22:23,470 --> 01:22:25,336
You're a good person,
1325
01:22:25,338 --> 01:22:26,942
with really bad execution.
1326
01:22:37,518 --> 01:22:38,319
You ready to do this?
1327
01:22:45,725 --> 01:22:46,293
Hi.
1328
01:22:49,529 --> 01:22:51,599
There's not much of him in here.
1329
01:22:55,103 --> 01:22:56,371
What's up?
I'm Jen.
1330
01:22:57,738 --> 01:22:59,507
Heard a lot about you.
1331
01:23:00,207 --> 01:23:02,143
I'm not sure where Eric is.
1332
01:23:02,376 --> 01:23:04,309
After this morning,
he just disappeared.
1333
01:23:04,311 --> 01:23:05,412
And he left his phone here.
1334
01:23:06,247 --> 01:23:08,048
I'm sure he's alright.
1335
01:23:11,652 --> 01:23:15,990
Emily, I was just trying
to do something nice...
1336
01:23:16,190 --> 01:23:18,492
with the brunch, and with you.
1337
01:23:19,292 --> 01:23:20,295
Okay?
1338
01:23:21,462 --> 01:23:24,532
I don't know how to handle
stuff like this.
1339
01:23:25,166 --> 01:23:27,199
Or maybe I went about it
the wrong way.
1340
01:23:27,201 --> 01:23:29,235
And everyone's so upset.
1341
01:23:29,237 --> 01:23:30,605
Everyone is so upset.
1342
01:23:30,805 --> 01:23:32,173
And you ran away.
1343
01:23:33,541 --> 01:23:35,043
And Eric is gone and I don't
even know who you are.
1344
01:23:36,610 --> 01:23:40,347
And I was just trying
to do something nice.
1345
01:23:42,350 --> 01:23:45,286
And I wanted to do
something right!
1346
01:23:51,591 --> 01:23:52,760
What the fuck!
1347
01:23:54,261 --> 01:23:57,162
This is the part where you're
supposed to start laughing.
1348
01:23:57,164 --> 01:23:58,166
What?
1349
01:24:14,582 --> 01:24:16,182
You want some?
1350
01:24:16,184 --> 01:24:16,818
Yeah.
1351
01:24:29,396 --> 01:24:32,500
I never had a pet
before Mr. Roosevelt...
1352
01:24:33,533 --> 01:24:34,835
Really? Never?
1353
01:24:35,670 --> 01:24:36,471
No.
1354
01:24:42,877 --> 01:24:44,746
Eric.
1355
01:24:45,345 --> 01:24:46,477
Where were you?
1356
01:24:46,479 --> 01:24:48,649
Just walking around, thinking.
1357
01:24:49,483 --> 01:24:50,485
- Are you wet?
- Uh-huh.
1358
01:24:52,420 --> 01:24:54,322
Some stuff happened.
1359
01:25:00,795 --> 01:25:02,230
Shall we do this?
1360
01:26:01,555 --> 01:26:03,187
Dear Eric and Celeste,
1361
01:26:03,189 --> 01:26:05,523
Thank you for taking
such good care of me.
1362
01:26:05,525 --> 01:26:08,693
Now that I'm no longer alive, I
just want to report back and say,
1363
01:26:08,695 --> 01:26:10,631
the tuna in heaven is divine.
1364
01:26:10,832 --> 01:26:12,365
Love, Mr. Roosevelt.
1365
01:26:12,367 --> 01:26:14,967
PS: I know my mom Emily
was kind of a cunt,
1366
01:26:14,969 --> 01:26:16,768
but she's grown up a lot
over this weekend.
1367
01:26:16,770 --> 01:26:18,269
Thank you for showing her
what a family looks like.
1368
01:26:18,271 --> 01:26:21,540
She thinks you guys are building
something great together.
1369
01:26:21,542 --> 01:26:23,744
And the wood floors
look awesome.
1370
01:26:27,881 --> 01:26:29,447
PPS: Sorry I broke your thing.
1371
01:26:29,449 --> 01:26:32,851
I tried to fix it
as best as I could.
1372
01:26:32,853 --> 01:26:37,257
PPPS: Hey, just in case you didn't
know, this is Emily writing this.
1373
01:26:43,663 --> 01:26:44,599
Hi, is Jen home?
1374
01:26:50,570 --> 01:26:51,704
I thought you were gone.
1375
01:26:51,706 --> 01:26:53,171
Yeah. I'm going to be leaving
1376
01:26:53,173 --> 01:26:57,412
I just wanted to say goodbye
to you before you left for tour.
1377
01:26:57,744 --> 01:26:59,812
What? I'm not going on tour.
1378
01:26:59,814 --> 01:27:03,451
You say that now,
but maybe this...
1379
01:27:03,850 --> 01:27:04,786
will change your mind.
1380
01:27:06,720 --> 01:27:08,519
"mdotclark79"
1381
01:27:08,521 --> 01:27:11,123
"This drummer is sick.
Come to Cincinnati."
1382
01:27:11,125 --> 01:27:13,525
The people have spoken.
They love you.
1383
01:27:13,527 --> 01:27:14,992
Dude, maybe I will go on tour.
1384
01:27:14,994 --> 01:27:18,233
Yeah you will. Guess my YouTube
came in handy for something.
1385
01:27:18,432 --> 01:27:19,667
Fuck yeah!
1386
01:27:21,001 --> 01:27:23,338
Well, Jen, I'm gonna miss you.
1387
01:27:24,537 --> 01:27:26,037
I'm gonna miss you, too, man.
1388
01:27:26,039 --> 01:27:27,641
Bring it in. Bring it in.
1389
01:27:28,007 --> 01:27:29,676
- Oh my God.
- Yeah!
1390
01:27:33,447 --> 01:27:34,882
Well, I guess that's it.
1391
01:27:35,582 --> 01:27:36,483
See you.
1392
01:27:37,384 --> 01:27:38,584
Oh, wait Jen, I almost forgot.
1393
01:27:38,586 --> 01:27:41,652
I am flat broke.
Can I get a ride to the airport?
1394
01:27:41,654 --> 01:27:43,490
- Oh, fuck you.
- Okay.
1395
01:27:44,792 --> 01:27:46,661
- I'll get my keys.
- Okay.
1396
01:28:00,814 --> 01:28:05,814
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