Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:51,775
I can't believe we
gotta do this shit, man.
2
00:00:51,776 --> 00:00:53,444
This thing's been in the
ground three fuckin' months.
3
00:00:53,445 --> 00:00:55,680
- You know what it's gonna smell like?
- Yeah, I know.
4
00:00:55,681 --> 00:00:58,915
Stop bitching and let's just
get this thing outta here.
5
00:01:02,285 --> 00:01:05,856
I remember about 10 years
ago, I had to do the same shit.
6
00:01:05,857 --> 00:01:09,258
I almost died from
the fucking stench.
7
00:01:10,194 --> 00:01:13,763
Oh, God. Here.
8
00:01:14,565 --> 00:01:18,169
All right. Let's do this.
9
00:01:30,214 --> 00:01:34,617
Oh, fuck. I'm gonna
break my neck out here.
10
00:01:37,521 --> 00:01:42,725
- Hey, Danny. How much further?
- Not far... just keep walking.
11
00:01:46,430 --> 00:01:49,633
- What the fuck?
- What is that?
12
00:01:49,634 --> 00:01:52,336
Do you think some kind of animal
or something could have did this?
13
00:01:52,337 --> 00:01:54,605
How the fuck is an animal
gonna dig a hole like that?
14
00:01:54,606 --> 00:01:56,361
Louie, gimme that
flashlight. Carmine.
15
00:01:56,387 --> 00:01:57,942
- What?
- Come here.
16
00:01:57,943 --> 00:02:01,310
Go down and see if
there is anything there.
17
00:02:01,979 --> 00:02:04,546
- Cock.
- Thank you.
18
00:02:05,516 --> 00:02:08,752
Louie, help me out. I'm
not a fucking kangaroo.
19
00:02:11,223 --> 00:02:14,925
There ain't nothing down here.
And I don't smell nothing neither.
20
00:02:14,926 --> 00:02:17,995
Really, Carmine? You don't
smell a rat down there?
21
00:02:21,699 --> 00:02:24,800
- Big "V" sends his regards.
- Louie! Louie, Louie, Louie!
22
00:02:30,641 --> 00:02:34,610
Let's bury the rat and just
get the fuck outta here.
23
00:02:37,148 --> 00:02:38,782
I don't even know
where the fuck we are.
24
00:02:38,783 --> 00:02:41,018
Why'd we have to come all
the way out here to do this?
25
00:02:41,019 --> 00:02:43,954
We've been burying pricks
like this out here for years.
26
00:02:43,955 --> 00:02:47,558
If these woods could only
talk, we'd all be in the can.
27
00:03:19,557 --> 00:03:20,824
Who's over there?
28
00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:23,661
Danny, look out!
29
00:03:23,662 --> 00:03:25,296
Danny, no!
30
00:05:30,954 --> 00:05:33,023
That is so pretty,
you're gonna look so hot.
31
00:05:34,959 --> 00:05:37,060
Pull it down, you don't wanna
give away the milk for free.
32
00:05:37,061 --> 00:05:38,762
It'll get so much
lighter with the sun.
33
00:05:38,763 --> 00:05:41,064
You have such a
nice butt, like J.Lo.
34
00:05:43,067 --> 00:05:44,935
Right here.
35
00:05:53,144 --> 00:05:57,448
- Can somebody pick up the phone?
- Why don't you answer the phone, bitch?
36
00:05:57,449 --> 00:05:58,882
Don't you dare call her bitch.
37
00:05:58,883 --> 00:06:01,785
I'll shove this curling iron right
up your fat fucking ass, bitch.
38
00:06:01,786 --> 00:06:03,819
I'll get the phone.
39
00:06:08,992 --> 00:06:13,163
A Touch of Class, Teresa speaking.
Hold on... Ricardo.
40
00:06:13,164 --> 00:06:17,501
It's for you. He says
that his name is Monty.
41
00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:18,502
Ugh.
42
00:06:21,739 --> 00:06:25,142
Excuse me. Who do you think
you are, calling me at work?
43
00:06:25,443 --> 00:06:30,812
Oh, no, and don't ever call me
again! Yech! Ay, Dios mio.
44
00:06:31,615 --> 00:06:33,684
- I like this outfit...
- Who's Monty?
45
00:06:33,685 --> 00:06:37,687
Oh, some pig I met online last night.
We were chatting for just 10 minutes
46
00:06:37,713 --> 00:06:40,757
and he expects me to drive
to his place at 1:00 a.m.
47
00:06:40,758 --> 00:06:43,694
I said, "No, you can't
just pick up the phone
48
00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:47,564
"and send for me in the middle of the night.
What do you think I am, Pizza Slut?"
49
00:06:48,833 --> 00:06:50,901
Mira, I have a picture of the slob.
50
00:06:50,902 --> 00:06:52,603
- Ugh.
- Is it the full Monty?
51
00:06:52,604 --> 00:06:53,770
Yeah, that's the pig.
52
00:06:54,906 --> 00:06:58,309
He's cute. Should have called
me last night. I deliver.
53
00:06:58,310 --> 00:07:00,878
Listen, honey, unless
your pizza has pepperoni,
54
00:07:00,879 --> 00:07:02,846
don't even bother
heating up your oven.
55
00:07:04,548 --> 00:07:06,617
Come on, Dina. I want
to beat the traffic.
56
00:07:06,618 --> 00:07:09,286
All done. Let me
just get my things.
57
00:07:09,287 --> 00:07:11,588
Where the hell are you two going?
58
00:07:11,589 --> 00:07:14,525
Down the shore for a girls'
weekend of sun and sin.
59
00:07:15,827 --> 00:07:17,794
Maybe the two of
youse can either drown
60
00:07:17,795 --> 00:07:20,731
or get eaten by a shark and
make it a holiday for all of us.
61
00:07:20,732 --> 00:07:24,635
Heh, or who knows? Maybe we'll find a
beached whale and name her Christy.
62
00:07:24,636 --> 00:07:28,739
Oh, sounds like fun. And while
you're looking for Mr. Right,
63
00:07:28,740 --> 00:07:31,074
Dina can sample all
the Mr. Right Nows.
64
00:07:32,310 --> 00:07:33,777
You said it, not me.
65
00:07:33,778 --> 00:07:35,812
- Whatever.
- I'm out of here.
66
00:07:35,813 --> 00:07:37,681
I just kidding...
you know you fabulous.
67
00:07:37,682 --> 00:07:41,818
- You look so pretty. You look so good.
- I tell her that every time.
68
00:07:41,819 --> 00:07:43,687
It's like a shelf up here.
They just hold up.
69
00:07:43,688 --> 00:07:44,955
I don't know how she does it.
70
00:07:44,956 --> 00:07:47,558
- I made it!
- Hey!
71
00:07:47,559 --> 00:07:48,859
- Mwah!
- Hey!
72
00:07:48,860 --> 00:07:52,062
- Oh, you're not working today, Gigi.
- You got that right.
73
00:07:52,063 --> 00:07:55,632
Oh, chica, you too? Wait, am
I the only girl not going?
74
00:07:55,633 --> 00:07:59,836
- Next time, we'll invite you, I promise.
- What am I gonna do this weekend?
75
00:07:59,837 --> 00:08:01,104
- Aww.
- I don't know.
76
00:08:01,105 --> 00:08:03,006
Maybe you should ask Monty.
77
00:08:03,007 --> 00:08:06,643
You get out of here,
you... Good-bye.
78
00:08:10,381 --> 00:08:12,916
Hello, Monty?
79
00:08:13,317 --> 00:08:15,652
Yes, I'll taste your chorizo.
80
00:08:16,654 --> 00:08:19,156
Come on!
81
00:08:19,157 --> 00:08:21,258
Come on, Gigi, let's go!
82
00:08:21,259 --> 00:08:23,894
All right, Dina, she's
coming, she's coming.
83
00:08:23,895 --> 00:08:26,330
Come on, Gigi, we want
to beat the traffic.
84
00:08:26,331 --> 00:08:29,331
Okay, Seaside
Heights, here we come!
85
00:08:30,334 --> 00:08:32,369
Michael, what are you doing here?
86
00:08:32,370 --> 00:08:35,606
I was just driving by, and I saw your
mother drop you off. Where you going?
87
00:08:35,607 --> 00:08:38,609
Not that it's any of your business, but I'm
going down the shore to see the girls.
88
00:08:38,610 --> 00:08:40,944
Well, I might be there too. So
maybe we should all hook up.
89
00:08:40,945 --> 00:08:42,679
That is so not happening, Michael.
90
00:08:42,680 --> 00:08:45,682
I just don't want you going down the
shore with a car full of single girls.
91
00:08:45,683 --> 00:08:47,684
Would you rather I go in
a car full of single guys?
92
00:08:47,685 --> 00:08:50,921
Don't be stupid, Gigi, you know you're
still my girl. Show me a little love.
93
00:08:50,922 --> 00:08:54,191
It's not happening, Michael! Now, go
do something with Tony and Fat Angelo,
94
00:08:54,192 --> 00:08:56,227
- and I'll call you on Monday.
- So it's like that?
95
00:08:56,228 --> 00:08:59,096
- Yeah, Michael, it's exactly like that!
- Yeah, it's like that.
96
00:08:59,097 --> 00:09:01,665
- Dina!
- What... he's a dick.
97
00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:03,266
- Dina!
- Hey, fuck you, Dina!
98
00:09:03,267 --> 00:09:07,771
Yeah, fuck all youse! You're gonna regret
this day, Gigi. Remember I said that.
99
00:09:07,772 --> 00:09:10,040
- What's that supposed to mean?
- Means drop dead!
100
00:09:10,041 --> 00:09:12,408
Fuck off, Michael!
101
00:09:17,081 --> 00:09:19,750
- What the fuck, Gigi?
- I don't know.
102
00:09:19,751 --> 00:09:21,385
I don't know what the
fuck I'm doing anymore.
103
00:09:21,386 --> 00:09:24,388
I mean, one minute, I think
I love him, and then the next,
104
00:09:24,389 --> 00:09:26,957
I wanna knock his fucking head
off and throw it in the river.
105
00:09:26,958 --> 00:09:30,193
- Like right now?
- Yes, I think so.
106
00:09:30,194 --> 00:09:33,030
But he really is sweet,
though, don't youse think?
107
00:09:33,031 --> 00:09:35,499
- So are you single or what?
- Yeah, right now, I am.
108
00:09:35,500 --> 00:09:37,668
You don't see no fucking
ring on my finger, do you?
109
00:09:37,669 --> 00:09:39,870
No, but if you really
think that there's a chance
110
00:09:39,871 --> 00:09:43,273
for you and Michael, don't go hooking
up with every guy in New Jersey
111
00:09:43,274 --> 00:09:45,242
just to prove to
yourself you're single.
112
00:09:45,243 --> 00:09:46,743
Fuck you, Dina!
113
00:09:46,744 --> 00:09:48,779
No, no, no, no,
no... I'm with Gigi.
114
00:09:48,780 --> 00:09:51,181
Until you're married, you
do whatever the hell you want
115
00:09:51,182 --> 00:09:53,932
with whoever the hell you want,
whenever the hell you want,
116
00:09:53,958 --> 00:09:56,854
'cause guess what, Teresa?
Life's just too fuckin' short.
117
00:09:56,855 --> 00:10:00,457
Okay... next topic. When are the
girls meeting us down in Seaside?
118
00:10:00,458 --> 00:10:04,690
Uh, Joanne said that she, Candi, and
Val left Brooklyn almost an hour ago,
119
00:10:04,716 --> 00:10:08,131
and that Val's cousin Rosemarie
can't make it till tomorrow night.
120
00:10:08,132 --> 00:10:12,135
So in other words, they could
have stopped for hot dogs.
121
00:10:12,136 --> 00:10:14,604
Or they're banging three
guidos at a turnpike rest stop.
122
00:10:14,605 --> 00:10:16,738
Eww.
123
00:10:19,310 --> 00:10:21,378
Oh, my God, speak of
the fucking devil.
124
00:10:23,815 --> 00:10:25,716
- Almost fucking killed us.
- Oh, my God.
125
00:10:25,717 --> 00:10:28,414
You should have seen the old
man's face at the toll booth.
126
00:10:28,415 --> 00:10:30,185
He was so funny, ha!
127
00:10:30,188 --> 00:10:34,424
- Put your tops back on and follow us.
- Yeah, Jersey Shore!
128
00:11:14,798 --> 00:11:17,067
Are you sure this is
the right house, Dina?
129
00:11:17,068 --> 00:11:19,501
Yeah, I'm fuckin' sure.
130
00:11:21,204 --> 00:11:23,338
Come on.
131
00:11:24,207 --> 00:11:27,077
Hello? What do you think
you're doing here?
132
00:11:27,078 --> 00:11:29,913
Excuse me? This is our rental.
133
00:11:29,914 --> 00:11:32,382
- What are you doing here?
- Nice try, chonga.
134
00:11:32,383 --> 00:11:35,919
This is our house, so get the hell out.
Take your little rat dog with you.
135
00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:38,121
Who are you calling chonga, bruja?
136
00:11:38,122 --> 00:11:40,524
Don't be scared, Pico.
I won't let her eat you.
137
00:11:40,525 --> 00:11:44,828
I'm calling all of youse chonga. And
I'm calling the owner right now.
138
00:11:44,829 --> 00:11:49,366
You no have to call, okay? He lives right
there, and I just gave him our check.
139
00:11:49,367 --> 00:11:51,368
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
140
00:11:51,769 --> 00:11:55,470
We'll see about that. Girls.
141
00:12:08,118 --> 00:12:10,954
Well... Hello there, ladies.
142
00:12:10,955 --> 00:12:13,490
I'm Ronnie... what
can I do you for?
143
00:12:13,491 --> 00:12:15,358
Yeah, Ronnie, we spoke
on the phone a month ago
144
00:12:15,359 --> 00:12:18,161
to confirm our reservation for
the house this weekend.
145
00:12:18,562 --> 00:12:22,499
Oh, yeah! Your friend just gave
me a check, so we're cool.
146
00:12:22,500 --> 00:12:26,303
- Romero, right?
- No... Romano.
147
00:12:26,304 --> 00:12:28,305
Dina Romano, you idiot.
148
00:12:28,306 --> 00:12:31,975
Romano. You're not all together?
149
00:12:31,976 --> 00:12:35,312
Uh, give me a minute. Don't
go away... hold on, just wait.
150
00:12:35,313 --> 00:12:37,746
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait.
151
00:12:45,421 --> 00:12:50,060
Here it is. You're Romano.
They're Romero.
152
00:12:50,061 --> 00:12:51,995
♪ Romano, Romero, Romano ♪
153
00:12:51,996 --> 00:12:56,499
You're two different parties.
That explains everything.
154
00:12:56,500 --> 00:12:58,701
Fine... so can you get those
chongas out of our house,
155
00:12:58,702 --> 00:13:01,238
so we can finally
shower and unpack?
156
00:13:01,239 --> 00:13:05,499
I'm afraid I can't do that,
and here's why. You see,
157
00:13:05,525 --> 00:13:10,213
I already gave them the keys, and
then now they take over the house.
158
00:13:10,214 --> 00:13:13,149
That's the law. See, the house
is not mine, it's theirs.
159
00:13:13,150 --> 00:13:16,052
I know it's a little peculiar, but
it's how they do it in Jersey.
160
00:13:16,053 --> 00:13:19,556
Now that every house and hotel are
booked, where are we supposed to go?
161
00:13:19,557 --> 00:13:23,093
Nice going, Ronnie. You
managed to fuck us all.
162
00:13:23,094 --> 00:13:26,196
Hold on... hold on, hold on. Why don't
you guys just stay here with me?
163
00:13:26,197 --> 00:13:27,631
Excuse me?
164
00:13:28,900 --> 00:13:34,158
Look, I can find ways of keeping
you girls reasonably...
165
00:13:34,184 --> 00:13:38,141
- entertained.
- Ugh!
166
00:13:38,842 --> 00:13:42,678
I'll take that as a no. Or
I'll take it as a maybe.
167
00:13:43,813 --> 00:13:48,517
Their loss. Okay,
pot, it's you and me.
168
00:13:52,056 --> 00:13:57,594
That bitch think she's better than me
just because she has fake tits. Huh!
169
00:13:57,595 --> 00:14:02,365
I don't speak Mexican or Puerto Rican, but
I know they definitely talking about us.
170
00:14:02,366 --> 00:14:03,967
Fuckin' nightmare.
171
00:14:03,968 --> 00:14:07,270
Hold on a second.
I'll be right back.
172
00:14:07,271 --> 00:14:11,141
If that chonga gives me one more look,
I swear, I'm gonna fuck her up.
173
00:14:11,142 --> 00:14:13,710
Who would believe that someone
could screw something up so bad?
174
00:14:13,711 --> 00:14:17,380
- Are you trying to say this is my fault?
- Well, whose fault is it?
175
00:14:21,952 --> 00:14:26,355
Oh, my God, your little fucking rat
dog just pissed on my fucking leg!
176
00:14:27,557 --> 00:14:32,095
Thanks for telling me. I gotta go
now and disinfect his pee pee.
177
00:14:32,096 --> 00:14:36,199
Oh, my God, you're the best!
Thank you! Thank you!
178
00:14:37,234 --> 00:14:38,234
Uh-huh.
179
00:14:38,235 --> 00:14:40,003
Ugh!
180
00:14:40,004 --> 00:14:42,739
- Everybody back in the car.
- Where are we going?
181
00:14:42,740 --> 00:14:44,341
- My Uncle Vito's house.
- Where's that?
182
00:14:44,342 --> 00:14:46,210
About 15 miles west of here.
183
00:14:46,236 --> 00:14:48,611
Do any of youse have a napkin?
184
00:14:48,612 --> 00:14:50,512
Follow us.
185
00:14:58,054 --> 00:14:59,756
Whoo!
186
00:14:59,757 --> 00:15:02,424
Kiss my ass, chonga!
187
00:15:16,739 --> 00:15:19,474
Gnaw on some meat?
188
00:15:27,384 --> 00:15:30,653
Do they even know where we're
going, or are we just lost?
189
00:15:30,654 --> 00:15:33,273
I'll tell you right now, we're
going straight back to Brooklyn
190
00:15:33,299 --> 00:15:35,959
if she thinks we're staying at a
fucking campsite all weekend.
191
00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:37,761
Your news for Ocean County.
192
00:15:37,762 --> 00:15:41,464
Human remains were found today in the
Pine Barrens section of New Jersey.
193
00:15:41,465 --> 00:15:46,202
According to detectives, the victims were
alleged members of the Rubino crime family.
194
00:15:46,203 --> 00:15:51,640
Details of how this will affect the upcoming
trial of Big "V" Rubino, coming up.
195
00:15:55,177 --> 00:15:59,514
- Wow.
- This ain't no campsite.
196
00:16:06,089 --> 00:16:08,557
Where the hell are we?
197
00:16:08,558 --> 00:16:12,095
We're right at the edge of the
Pine Barrens, that's where we are.
198
00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:14,364
So where's this Uncle Vito?
199
00:16:14,365 --> 00:16:18,101
He's at his home in Staten Island.
If he tries leaving the house,
200
00:16:18,102 --> 00:16:21,504
his ankle bracelet beeps, the cops
come, and he could be put in jail.
201
00:16:21,505 --> 00:16:24,808
So he's under house arrest?
I mean, what did he do?
202
00:16:24,809 --> 00:16:27,928
You know, he's an entrepreneur.
But because he's Italian,
203
00:16:27,954 --> 00:16:33,683
they keep harassing him for every
single thing he does. It's this way.
204
00:16:33,684 --> 00:16:35,584
Oh, wow.
205
00:16:38,688 --> 00:16:40,522
Here we are.
206
00:16:48,598 --> 00:16:50,800
You can put your stuff down here.
207
00:16:50,801 --> 00:16:54,237
Wow, look at all this stuff.
208
00:16:54,238 --> 00:16:58,442
This has all the Belgian whistles.
209
00:16:59,143 --> 00:17:00,643
You know, Teresa,
I know your uncle,
210
00:17:00,644 --> 00:17:03,012
and I can't ever see him
buying a house like this.
211
00:17:03,013 --> 00:17:06,749
- It was willed to him.
- Willed to him... by who?
212
00:17:06,750 --> 00:17:10,687
Some guy in the entertainment industry
that he used to do business with.
213
00:17:10,688 --> 00:17:14,591
- What happened to him?
- Uh, no one really knows.
214
00:17:14,592 --> 00:17:17,227
But since my uncle has
business in New York and Philly,
215
00:17:17,228 --> 00:17:20,396
he kept this place because it's
located right in the middle.
216
00:17:20,397 --> 00:17:22,899
What about the people
that live around here?
217
00:17:22,900 --> 00:17:27,838
My uncle says they're not really friendly,
unless they're trying to sell you things.
218
00:17:27,839 --> 00:17:29,606
Well, obviously,
they would be jealous,
219
00:17:29,607 --> 00:17:32,209
seeing how they live, and
then seeing all of this.
220
00:17:32,210 --> 00:17:36,213
It's pretty awesome... the only thing
we're missing now is a Jacuzzi.
221
00:17:36,214 --> 00:17:38,480
Hey, even better.
222
00:17:39,215 --> 00:17:40,683
Swimming pool!
223
00:17:42,419 --> 00:17:44,754
- Oh, my God!
- Oh, my God.
224
00:17:44,755 --> 00:17:46,422
Awesome!
225
00:17:46,423 --> 00:17:48,224
Perfect.
226
00:17:49,693 --> 00:17:51,828
Oh, my God.
227
00:17:51,829 --> 00:17:54,164
Oh, my God.
228
00:17:54,165 --> 00:17:55,897
Not too bad, right?
229
00:17:55,923 --> 00:17:58,768
Wow, you guys, we could
totally go swimming later.
230
00:17:58,769 --> 00:17:59,869
You guys can go.
231
00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:03,239
It's kind of dirty. Should
we call someone to clean it?
232
00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:08,643
Uh, no. I just have to clean the leaves off
with the skimmer and change the filter.
233
00:18:13,317 --> 00:18:14,884
Ew!
234
00:18:14,885 --> 00:18:18,488
- Where did that come from?
- He had to come from the lake.
235
00:18:18,489 --> 00:18:19,689
Ohh.
236
00:18:19,690 --> 00:18:21,858
Eww!
237
00:18:21,859 --> 00:18:23,493
What lake?
238
00:18:23,494 --> 00:18:28,363
Um, I think it's... that way.
Come on, I'll show you.
239
00:18:32,668 --> 00:18:34,604
Come on, little guy.
240
00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:46,214
This is not a good idea.
241
00:18:48,585 --> 00:18:51,152
Be free, little guy.
242
00:18:54,892 --> 00:18:57,627
- Saved your life.
- That's not funny!
243
00:18:57,628 --> 00:19:01,464
Teresa can't swim! She has a serious
fear of water, you stupid bitch!
244
00:19:01,465 --> 00:19:03,566
Fuck you, Dina. If you didn't
fuck up the beach house,
245
00:19:03,567 --> 00:19:06,171
we wouldn't be here right
now. I'm sorry, Teresa.
246
00:19:06,197 --> 00:19:09,439
It's okay. Let's just go back
to the house and unpack.
247
00:19:10,741 --> 00:19:14,709
- You okay?
- Yeah... I'm okay.
248
00:19:19,849 --> 00:19:25,155
Okay, so there's plenty of
rooms. I'll room with Dina.
249
00:19:25,156 --> 00:19:27,857
Gigi with Joanne, and Valerie
and Candi can share a room.
250
00:19:27,858 --> 00:19:30,793
- Uh-uh, I'm not rooming with Candi.
- Why not?
251
00:19:30,794 --> 00:19:33,429
- 'Cause she farts in her sleep.
- I do not.
252
00:19:33,430 --> 00:19:34,731
Yeah, you do.
253
00:19:34,732 --> 00:19:38,768
Okay, I'll stay with Candi, and
Dina can stay with Valerie.
254
00:19:38,769 --> 00:19:40,903
I'll just have to keep
my window open all night.
255
00:19:40,904 --> 00:19:42,605
Knock it off.
256
00:19:42,606 --> 00:19:44,040
Where's my cousin gonna sleep?
257
00:19:44,041 --> 00:19:46,709
Uh, if she shows up,
she can have the couch.
258
00:19:46,710 --> 00:19:48,745
- Good? Fine.
- All right, let's go.
259
00:19:48,746 --> 00:19:49,779
- Whoo!
- Good.
260
00:19:49,780 --> 00:19:52,815
- Come on, my little stinker.
- Oh, stop it.
261
00:19:52,816 --> 00:19:56,052
Uhh! This freaking bag is so...
262
00:19:56,053 --> 00:19:57,820
heavy!
263
00:19:57,821 --> 00:20:01,724
Just be careful. They already
started renovating downstairs.
264
00:20:04,528 --> 00:20:08,196
Sorry, Teresa. Was that expensive?
265
00:20:08,831 --> 00:20:10,967
You're not going to unpack?
266
00:20:10,968 --> 00:20:13,935
Ugh, I'm so fucking
tired, I'll do it later.
267
00:20:19,208 --> 00:20:20,908
What's that?
268
00:20:22,511 --> 00:20:24,314
What do you think it is?
269
00:20:24,315 --> 00:20:25,982
I know what it is, but really?
270
00:20:25,983 --> 00:20:27,963
Did you actually think you would
need that thing down the shore...
271
00:20:27,989 --> 00:20:30,453
I mean, you might as well
bring sand to the beach.
272
00:20:30,454 --> 00:20:35,558
Well, I don't leave home
without it, and don't touch it.
273
00:20:35,559 --> 00:20:39,060
Yeah, 'cause I'm just dying
to touch that skuzzy thing.
274
00:21:09,792 --> 00:21:12,026
My name is Edgar.
275
00:21:14,564 --> 00:21:17,800
Would you like to try
some of my sausages?
276
00:21:17,801 --> 00:21:19,869
No, thank you, Edgar.
277
00:21:19,870 --> 00:21:24,540
- Yeah, none of us eat meat.
- Yeah, we're all veterinarians.
278
00:21:24,541 --> 00:21:30,413
All you girls look so pretty
and shiny. Are you all sisters?
279
00:21:30,414 --> 00:21:36,319
I never had sisters. I have
a brother... he's a asshole.
280
00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:41,389
No, we're not sisters, but, um,
it was nice meeting you, Edgar.
281
00:22:04,413 --> 00:22:08,651
So instead of watching hot-looking guys
with washboard stomachs on the beach,
282
00:22:08,652 --> 00:22:12,088
we're gonna hang out with Edgar, the
300-pound axe murderer, instead.
283
00:22:12,089 --> 00:22:17,360
Just because he's big, sloppy, and weird
doesn't make him an axe murderer.
284
00:22:17,361 --> 00:22:20,130
So what are we doing
tonight? I'm getting bored.
285
00:22:20,131 --> 00:22:23,166
I'm not driving all the way back to
the shore in that traffic again.
286
00:22:23,167 --> 00:22:25,501
Fine, Teresa, what do
we do around here?
287
00:22:25,502 --> 00:22:30,640
Well, forget about going to a bar or a
club. Those things don't exist around here.
288
00:22:30,641 --> 00:22:34,076
Mm, there was that sign down the
road for that Jersey Devil tour.
289
00:22:34,683 --> 00:22:38,881
Are you kidding me? Walking around in the
woods, listening to stupid ghost stories.
290
00:22:38,882 --> 00:22:40,983
Well, we can either do
that or stay here all night
291
00:22:40,984 --> 00:22:43,186
while Edgar leers at
us through the windows.
292
00:22:43,187 --> 00:22:46,254
Who knows, maybe
we'll meet some hot guys.
293
00:22:53,897 --> 00:22:57,033
Well... Good evening, ladies.
294
00:22:57,034 --> 00:23:01,938
Would you like to take the,
uh, Jersey Devil tour?
295
00:23:01,939 --> 00:23:04,038
How much for the six of us?
296
00:23:04,707 --> 00:23:06,776
Uh... $7.50 apiece.
297
00:23:06,777 --> 00:23:12,114
Screw that... we want a discount.
Uh, $50 for the six of us.
298
00:23:12,415 --> 00:23:14,148
Fine.
299
00:23:16,151 --> 00:23:19,287
All right, soon as all
your group is here,
300
00:23:19,288 --> 00:23:23,433
we'll have Junior take
you on your tour.
301
00:23:23,459 --> 00:23:25,027
Is it scary?
302
00:23:25,728 --> 00:23:27,496
Scares the tar outta me.
303
00:23:27,497 --> 00:23:30,399
- Great, let's fucking go then.
- Okay, let's go.
304
00:23:37,107 --> 00:23:42,145
Okay, I hope we're all keeping our
eyes open for the Jersey Devil.
305
00:23:43,246 --> 00:23:48,684
What can you tell us about the... creepy
people living in the Pine Barrens,
306
00:23:48,685 --> 00:23:52,088
like cannibals, called Pineys?
307
00:23:52,089 --> 00:23:55,057
Well, there are people
that live around here.
308
00:23:55,058 --> 00:23:58,961
Yeah, we heard there are a few dozen Piney
families who are all inbred, illiterate,
309
00:23:58,962 --> 00:24:03,566
and very hostile towards outsiders,
living just about a mile down the road.
310
00:24:03,867 --> 00:24:05,835
Now that's creepy.
311
00:24:05,836 --> 00:24:07,770
- Hey, Junior?
- Mm-hmm?
312
00:24:07,771 --> 00:24:11,239
- Where do you live?
- 'Bout a mile down the road.
313
00:24:12,975 --> 00:24:18,564
Now, believe it or not, the
Jersey Devil was the 13th child
314
00:24:18,590 --> 00:24:24,820
of a woman named Deborah Leeds who
emigrated from London, England
315
00:24:24,821 --> 00:24:29,158
here to the New Jersey
Pine Barrens in the 1700s.
316
00:24:29,159 --> 00:24:33,195
Moving here from London and all,
was she able to learn English?
317
00:24:33,196 --> 00:24:36,766
That's a pretty good question. I'll
have to get back to you on that.
318
00:24:36,767 --> 00:24:42,351
But anyway, during a very
difficult and painful labor,
319
00:24:42,377 --> 00:24:46,108
Mrs. Leeds invoked the devil.
320
00:24:49,612 --> 00:24:51,814
And when the baby was born,
321
00:24:51,815 --> 00:24:56,652
it immediately grew into
a full-grown winged devil!
322
00:25:04,694 --> 00:25:09,765
And then escaped from the house
out into these Pine Barrens.
323
00:25:09,766 --> 00:25:11,299
Ohh!
324
00:25:14,069 --> 00:25:17,439
- Who keeps hitting my ass?
- No touching.
325
00:25:17,440 --> 00:25:19,842
Ugh... that's disgusting.
326
00:25:19,843 --> 00:25:24,180
There are have been hundreds of Devil
sightings throughout the years.
327
00:25:24,181 --> 00:25:26,015
I think these girls like us.
328
00:25:27,718 --> 00:25:31,787
There are six of
them and three of us,
329
00:25:31,788 --> 00:25:34,691
so you know what that means?
330
00:25:35,692 --> 00:25:38,227
Oh, my God.
331
00:25:38,528 --> 00:25:41,097
This could be the greatest
night of our lives!
332
00:25:41,098 --> 00:25:43,366
Shh... let's try
to keep them scared,
333
00:25:43,367 --> 00:25:47,770
so that they cling on to
us for safety, and then...
334
00:25:47,771 --> 00:25:51,340
- Back to the RV!
- Exactly!
335
00:25:52,776 --> 00:25:57,311
This is gonna be so amazing!
336
00:26:01,717 --> 00:26:06,421
...one in 1909 by
Councilman Wheaton,
337
00:26:06,422 --> 00:26:11,894
who heard flapping wings outside
his bedroom window one night,
338
00:26:11,895 --> 00:26:16,805
and then the next morning,
found large, cloven footprints...
339
00:26:16,831 --> 00:26:18,657
in the snow.
340
00:26:23,906 --> 00:26:27,176
Hi. Uh, m-my name is Henry.
341
00:26:27,177 --> 00:26:28,878
Uh, what's yours?
342
00:26:28,879 --> 00:26:31,814
- Joanne.
- Oh, nice to meet you.
343
00:26:31,815 --> 00:26:36,224
Um, are you girls headed
to the Sci-Fi Expo in DC?
344
00:26:36,250 --> 00:26:39,622
Uh, if so, we could
all go together.
345
00:26:39,923 --> 00:26:42,425
- Are you serious?
- Sure, uh...
346
00:26:42,426 --> 00:26:47,063
We even have a DVD
player, a microwave,
347
00:26:47,064 --> 00:26:49,230
and a queen-sized bed.
348
00:26:51,734 --> 00:26:54,702
Val, wait until you hear this.
349
00:26:56,705 --> 00:26:58,107
Cool!
350
00:26:58,108 --> 00:27:01,010
I think she's going to get all
her friends to come along also.
351
00:27:02,812 --> 00:27:05,480
- Try to keep them scared.
- Okay, okay.
352
00:27:07,182 --> 00:27:11,086
Hundreds of people have
heard the Jersey Devil
353
00:27:11,087 --> 00:27:16,025
rampaging through the
woods while shrieking.
354
00:27:25,835 --> 00:27:29,805
Or making blood-curdling cries.
355
00:27:35,612 --> 00:27:39,348
Some call it the Leeds Devil.
356
00:27:39,349 --> 00:27:43,452
Some call it the Wozzle Bug.
357
00:27:43,453 --> 00:27:49,992
And others call it the
Hoodle-Doodle Bird.
358
00:27:49,993 --> 00:27:54,864
Either way, no one comes
out here alone at night.
359
00:27:54,865 --> 00:27:57,266
Oh, God, I'm really feeling scared.
I want to get out of here.
360
00:27:57,267 --> 00:27:59,235
What are you worried about?
361
00:27:59,236 --> 00:28:02,204
I feel like we're being watched, and
I'm starting to freak out a little.
362
00:28:02,205 --> 00:28:04,073
Yeah, you guys, I wanna go back.
363
00:28:04,074 --> 00:28:07,042
Why don't you girls give us
your... your email addresses
364
00:28:07,043 --> 00:28:09,812
so we can put it on our phones now?
365
00:28:09,813 --> 00:28:11,180
Sure...
366
00:28:11,181 --> 00:28:13,449
Uh, it's getalife...
367
00:28:13,450 --> 00:28:15,284
- Getalife...
- at...
368
00:28:15,285 --> 00:28:19,555
yougottabefuckingkiddingme.com.
369
00:28:20,156 --> 00:28:21,757
What's with the mixed messages?
370
00:28:21,758 --> 00:28:26,328
I don't know. But it seems like every
girl we meet has the same problem.
371
00:28:26,729 --> 00:28:28,564
Help!
372
00:28:32,101 --> 00:28:33,869
Oh, damn!
373
00:28:33,870 --> 00:28:37,006
Oh, my God, somebody
give me their belt!
374
00:28:37,007 --> 00:28:40,441
- I gotta make a tourniquet!
- Oh, my God! Oh!
375
00:28:53,924 --> 00:28:55,825
Welcome to the country, girls.
376
00:28:56,426 --> 00:28:59,928
You kidding me? We're getting
the fuck outta here!
377
00:28:59,929 --> 00:29:02,998
That was so uncalled
for! Let me go!
378
00:29:02,999 --> 00:29:05,935
Come on, don't be
upset. It was all in fun.
379
00:29:05,936 --> 00:29:07,903
F-U-N, fun.
380
00:29:07,904 --> 00:29:11,907
No, it's stupidity.
S-T-U... pidity!
381
00:29:11,908 --> 00:29:13,075
Are you okay, Val?
382
00:29:13,076 --> 00:29:15,311
I want to get outta here.
I don't like being scared.
383
00:29:15,312 --> 00:29:16,312
Let's go.
384
00:29:18,281 --> 00:29:19,548
Hey, later, girls.
385
00:29:21,251 --> 00:29:23,285
Yeah, that's fucking great, man.
386
00:29:25,222 --> 00:29:27,388
Argh...
387
00:29:38,700 --> 00:29:39,902
Hey, you ready, Gigi?
388
00:29:39,903 --> 00:29:43,339
No... you guys go ahead. Mike's
gonna come pick me up later.
389
00:29:43,340 --> 00:29:46,041
I really need to see him
tonight. I'm sorry.
390
00:29:46,042 --> 00:29:49,578
- Are you sure about this?
- Yeah, I'm sure.
391
00:29:49,579 --> 00:29:54,584
- Okay, I'll see you tonight.
- Bye.
392
00:29:54,985 --> 00:29:57,953
She's ditching us for that
loser again, isn't she?
393
00:29:57,954 --> 00:30:00,623
She seems to love him, so
let her do what she wants.
394
00:30:00,624 --> 00:30:04,159
I don't buy that... I think Michael
just knows how to manipulate Gigi.
395
00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:06,595
He turns her into, like,
his little mental prisoner.
396
00:30:06,596 --> 00:30:09,365
Yeah, kind of like Stockholder
Syndrome or something.
397
00:30:09,391 --> 00:30:10,232
Mm-hmm.
398
00:30:10,233 --> 00:30:12,902
Hey, bitches, you
want some pound cake?
399
00:30:12,903 --> 00:30:16,639
- Oh, yeah, I'll take some.
- I can't even look at that.
400
00:30:18,808 --> 00:30:21,944
- Are you dieting, Val?
- I'm going to.
401
00:30:21,945 --> 00:30:26,482
I just took five laxatives last night to
help get my stomach down for the weekend.
402
00:30:26,483 --> 00:30:30,686
- Oh, my God.
- That really isn't good for you, you know.
403
00:30:30,687 --> 00:30:34,423
Ugh, well, I don't wanna look like a
stuffed sausage all weekend either.
404
00:30:34,424 --> 00:30:36,191
- Sure you don't want some?
- No.
405
00:30:36,192 --> 00:30:39,028
- You're just gonna shit it out anyway.
- No...
406
00:30:39,029 --> 00:30:42,564
I wanna have a six
pack for the yum yums.
407
00:30:42,565 --> 00:30:45,100
- Yum yums.
- Yum yum yums!
408
00:30:45,101 --> 00:30:46,934
It's hot as fucking here.
409
00:30:54,243 --> 00:30:55,711
Daddy!
410
00:30:55,712 --> 00:30:59,181
Wow, a jellyfish!
411
00:30:59,182 --> 00:31:00,582
Don't touch that.
412
00:31:00,583 --> 00:31:03,552
You could get stung
very badly by it.
413
00:31:03,553 --> 00:31:06,555
- Ouchie.
- Yeah, ouchie.
414
00:31:06,556 --> 00:31:08,490
Yo, yo, yo, yo!
415
00:31:08,491 --> 00:31:09,725
Ohh!
416
00:31:09,726 --> 00:31:14,430
Oh, my God! That took me
all morning to build!
417
00:31:14,431 --> 00:31:17,733
Well, build it somewhere else. The
thing just made me drop the ball.
418
00:31:17,734 --> 00:31:21,203
Are you kidding me? You have
the entire beach to play on!
419
00:31:21,204 --> 00:31:25,040
Because the people is over there,
and if we play over there,
420
00:31:25,041 --> 00:31:27,576
no one's gonna be able
to see us right there.
421
00:31:27,577 --> 00:31:30,566
So why don't you pick up
all your sand and move it?
422
00:31:30,592 --> 00:31:32,515
Over there! You feeling me?
423
00:31:32,516 --> 00:31:35,883
And take your faggot-ass
pail and shovel with you.
424
00:31:44,594 --> 00:31:46,927
Oww...
425
00:31:49,465 --> 00:31:51,333
Ouchie.
426
00:31:53,136 --> 00:31:55,569
What you looking at?
427
00:31:59,641 --> 00:32:01,343
There's no fucking parking.
428
00:32:01,344 --> 00:32:05,214
Well, if you didn't make us late, we
would have been here two hours ago.
429
00:32:05,215 --> 00:32:06,715
Fuck you, Joanne.
430
00:32:06,716 --> 00:32:10,652
- Can you both please stop it now?
- Stay the fuck outta this, Valerie.
431
00:32:10,653 --> 00:32:14,123
- Yeah, shut the fuck up, Valerie.
- Don't tell her to shut the fuck up.
432
00:32:14,124 --> 00:32:16,625
- Who the fuck are you?
- Bunch of pains in the asses.
433
00:32:16,626 --> 00:32:19,261
All right, guys, calm down.
We're already here.
434
00:32:19,262 --> 00:32:21,495
Ah, there's a space.
435
00:32:22,431 --> 00:32:25,734
Give me the handicapped pass in the
glove compartment, just in case.
436
00:32:25,735 --> 00:32:29,637
- We're not disabled.
- Just limp a little when you walk out.
437
00:32:32,274 --> 00:32:33,776
- Ready?
- Whoo!
438
00:32:33,777 --> 00:32:36,444
Here we are.
439
00:32:37,246 --> 00:32:38,647
Whoo!
440
00:32:40,917 --> 00:32:43,392
I was dying for one
of these corndogs.
441
00:32:43,418 --> 00:32:45,487
- Me too.
- Me three.
442
00:32:45,488 --> 00:32:49,258
- Hey, what about your diet?
- I don't wanna starve to death.
443
00:32:49,259 --> 00:32:52,161
Why don't we set up over here?
444
00:32:52,162 --> 00:32:56,065
No... I see where we should go.
445
00:32:56,066 --> 00:32:58,233
Yo, throw the ball!
446
00:32:58,234 --> 00:33:00,468
Hyuh! Freddy, you asshole!
447
00:33:01,670 --> 00:33:03,795
- Ooh la la!
- Let's go, girls! Come on!
448
00:33:05,408 --> 00:33:07,642
Let me out!
449
00:33:09,178 --> 00:33:10,645
Uhh!
450
00:33:10,646 --> 00:33:13,148
Gigi, get over here! I'm
not done with you yet!
451
00:33:13,149 --> 00:33:15,284
Well, I'm done with you, Michael, and
if you know what's good for you,
452
00:33:15,285 --> 00:33:17,586
get your ass off
Teresa's uncle's property.
453
00:33:17,587 --> 00:33:22,224
Gigi... you little bitch, get over here!
You know what, I'm done with you!
454
00:33:22,225 --> 00:33:24,992
Stop following me, Michael!
455
00:33:30,733 --> 00:33:32,634
I have to tell you, Tre...
456
00:33:32,635 --> 00:33:37,105
Despite the mix-up with the house, I think
this is gonna be a really good weekend.
457
00:33:43,779 --> 00:33:46,615
No, please, please! Help me!
458
00:33:46,616 --> 00:33:50,686
No, stop, please!
Stop, let me go! Please!
459
00:33:50,687 --> 00:33:55,491
And if not for you, we would've had to have
turned back yesterday and miss all of this.
460
00:33:55,492 --> 00:33:57,525
No, no, no!
461
00:34:05,033 --> 00:34:06,335
Thank you.
462
00:34:06,336 --> 00:34:10,172
You don't have to thank me.
We're all in the same boat.
463
00:34:25,354 --> 00:34:27,422
- That didn't take long.
- No, it didn't.
464
00:34:27,423 --> 00:34:30,259
Impressive, I have to say.
We gotta step up our game.
465
00:34:31,327 --> 00:34:32,661
Ah, ow!
466
00:34:32,662 --> 00:34:34,062
God.
467
00:34:34,063 --> 00:34:37,976
Teresa and Dina... This is...
468
00:34:38,002 --> 00:34:42,271
Tony, Joey, Gino,
Vinnie, and Freddy.
469
00:34:42,272 --> 00:34:44,873
- Hi.
- Hi...
470
00:34:45,646 --> 00:34:47,848
Oh, wow.
471
00:34:48,177 --> 00:34:50,179
- What is that?
- It's a mime.
472
00:34:50,180 --> 00:34:51,547
A what?
473
00:34:51,548 --> 00:34:54,216
What is he doing? Why
is he wearing that?
474
00:34:54,217 --> 00:34:57,486
- Dude, there's no window there.
- He's just pretendin', Tony!
475
00:34:57,487 --> 00:34:59,555
- Ohh...
- He is cute.
476
00:34:59,556 --> 00:35:01,323
I don't get it, either.
477
00:35:01,324 --> 00:35:02,858
Oh! Aww...
478
00:35:02,859 --> 00:35:05,327
Now he's hitting on her.
479
00:35:05,328 --> 00:35:08,397
Now get the fuck outta here, Bozo.
480
00:35:11,601 --> 00:35:14,636
- He's doing you, Gino!
- Gino, that's you.
481
00:35:14,637 --> 00:35:16,371
You gonna take that, Gino?
482
00:35:16,372 --> 00:35:17,906
Yo...
483
00:35:17,907 --> 00:35:21,677
Yeah, keep going. Really?
484
00:35:22,078 --> 01:10:45,558
Yeah.
485
00:35:25,615 --> 00:35:27,516
- One punch!
- Good night, motherfucker!
486
00:35:27,517 --> 00:35:28,984
- Now get the fuck outta here...
- Asshole!
487
00:35:28,985 --> 00:35:30,819
Before I throws you a real beatin'!
488
00:35:30,820 --> 00:35:32,221
Whoo!
489
00:35:32,222 --> 00:35:35,224
- Who's going in the water with me?
- I am, let's go!
490
00:35:35,225 --> 00:35:37,960
- Yo, Gino, go out for a pass.
- Hey, wanna catch some crabs?
491
00:35:40,796 --> 00:35:44,333
Hey, we're going to the Barnacle
Club later if you guys wanna come.
492
00:35:54,309 --> 00:35:58,285
There's something so relaxing,
you know, and elegant
493
00:35:58,311 --> 00:36:00,749
about the beach. You
know what I mean?
494
00:36:00,750 --> 00:36:03,919
- I just love the fresh air.
- Mmm.
495
00:36:03,920 --> 00:36:06,321
Those guys were kinda
hot, don't you think?
496
00:36:06,322 --> 00:36:09,825
- They were definitely hot for you.
- Ooh, yum, yum, yum.
497
00:36:09,826 --> 00:36:12,527
- Oh, my God!
- What?
498
00:36:12,528 --> 00:36:13,895
- Oh, I have to go!
- Go where?
499
00:36:13,896 --> 00:36:16,698
Uh, the laxatives are kicking in.
I have to go to the bathroom right now!
500
00:36:16,699 --> 00:36:19,534
Oh, my God, oh, quick, run up to
the boardwalk and find a restroom!
501
00:36:19,535 --> 00:36:22,671
Aah! Aah! Get out of the way!
502
00:36:22,672 --> 00:36:24,973
- What?
- I gotta go!
503
00:36:24,974 --> 00:36:28,644
- Oh, my God!
- Oh... my... God.
504
00:36:31,581 --> 00:36:33,048
Ohh.
505
00:36:33,049 --> 00:36:34,983
- Eww...
- Ohh.
506
00:36:34,984 --> 00:36:37,719
Look, Daddy, sea shells.
507
00:36:37,720 --> 00:36:41,689
Come on, Valerie. We've
gotta get ready for tonight!
508
00:36:42,891 --> 00:36:45,726
Hey, you got any more corndogs?
509
00:36:47,929 --> 00:36:49,463
Poopy.
510
00:36:56,438 --> 00:36:59,008
All right, we got dollar Jersey Devil
shots for the next two minutes,
511
00:36:59,034 --> 00:37:01,575
so go to the bar and get you some!
512
00:37:03,346 --> 00:37:05,547
- Here's to the king.
- What king?
513
00:37:05,548 --> 00:37:07,549
- Fuc-king!
- Fuc-king!
514
00:37:07,550 --> 00:37:10,385
Oh.
515
00:37:10,386 --> 00:37:13,655
So, fellas, who's gonna
pay for all these drinks?
516
00:37:13,656 --> 00:37:15,090
- He is.
- He is.
517
00:37:15,091 --> 00:37:16,391
- You are.
- You are.
518
00:37:16,392 --> 00:37:18,560
- I'm paying for the cab.
- I always pay for the cab!
519
00:37:18,561 --> 00:37:20,663
- No, you pay for the drinks.
- Hey, you watch yourself there.
520
00:37:20,664 --> 00:37:24,499
You gotta be faster than that to stay in
the ring with the Staten Island Stallion.
521
00:37:24,500 --> 00:37:26,769
Man, you got it all wrong.
If you weren't my boy,
522
00:37:26,770 --> 00:37:31,037
you wouldn't even make it to the ring.
Pa-pow! End of story, motherfucker.
523
00:37:31,063 --> 00:37:33,535
- Who's next?
- Bullshit!
524
00:37:33,561 --> 00:37:36,812
- You never popped nothing.
- How the fuck do you know?
525
00:37:36,813 --> 00:37:40,075
'Cause I've known you since we were 12,
and you have such a big fucking mouth
526
00:37:40,101 --> 00:37:42,217
that half of Staten Island
would have known about it.
527
00:37:42,218 --> 00:37:44,080
There would have been billboards
along the highway saying,
528
00:37:44,106 --> 00:37:47,456
"Gino Digideo whacked some
dude. Paid for by Gino Digideo."
529
00:37:47,457 --> 00:37:50,457
I like it. I like it.
530
00:38:01,403 --> 00:38:05,974
Yeah, let's do some more shots, buddy.
Let's get some more... which ones?
531
00:38:05,975 --> 00:38:07,008
Ohh!
532
00:38:07,009 --> 00:38:09,612
- What the fuck?
- I'll tell you what the fuck.
533
00:38:09,613 --> 00:38:13,415
That's for drugging and raping my friend
Tammy last week, you fucking dirty scumbag.
534
00:38:13,416 --> 00:38:15,517
Yo, I don't even know
what you're talking about.
535
00:38:15,518 --> 00:38:18,954
Yes, you do, and two other people saw
you drop a fucking pill in her drink.
536
00:38:18,955 --> 00:38:23,492
Yo, that bitch was DTF, so get the fuck
outta my face before I smack your mouth.
537
00:38:23,493 --> 00:38:26,061
I bet you would, you
fucking dirty scumbag.
538
00:38:26,062 --> 00:38:28,730
- Get the fuck out of here, you slut.
- You can't do that in here, come on.
539
00:38:28,731 --> 00:38:29,931
- You're out.
- Get off of me!
540
00:38:29,932 --> 00:38:33,433
- Bye-bye, you little twat.
- Peace!
541
00:38:34,102 --> 00:38:35,937
Works every time.
542
00:38:35,938 --> 00:38:38,640
Yo, bro, we gotta get another
bottle of that shit.
543
00:38:38,641 --> 00:38:42,042
All right, my guy's coming in
next week. I'll get a shitload.
544
00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:02,431
- Hello.
- How you doing?
545
00:39:02,432 --> 00:39:04,666
If I was you, I'd
be stalking me too.
546
00:39:04,667 --> 00:39:10,170
Oh... well, let's have a couple more
drinks and see who's stalking who.
547
00:39:14,443 --> 00:39:17,010
- After you.
- Thank you.
548
00:39:26,855 --> 00:39:29,655
Right now, I'm just working on my
demo, trying to get signed to a label,
549
00:39:29,681 --> 00:39:32,227
- you know what I'm saying?
- Get a label.
550
00:39:32,228 --> 00:39:35,630
What the fuck are you
laughing at, Dominic?
551
00:39:37,055 --> 00:39:42,103
Look at you, kid. Who we kidding?
You can't sing, you can't rap.
552
00:39:42,104 --> 00:39:44,072
You can't even play a
goddamn instrument.
553
00:39:44,073 --> 00:39:46,708
How the hell is a record
company gonna sign you?
554
00:39:46,709 --> 00:39:51,813
'Cause I'm that fucking down! Besides,
what the fuck do you know about records?
555
00:39:51,814 --> 00:39:53,949
You're just a part-time
manager at a nightclub.
556
00:39:53,950 --> 00:39:57,127
If I need the urinals or some
shit cleaned, I'll give you a call.
557
00:40:00,089 --> 00:40:03,124
- You don't know who the hell I am.
- That's the point.
558
00:40:03,125 --> 00:40:07,229
We don't know who the fuck you
are, and nobody else does either.
559
00:40:10,833 --> 00:40:12,866
I'll be back.
560
00:40:13,935 --> 00:40:20,108
So, I was just down in the ladies' room,
and it's, like, totally empty down there.
561
00:40:20,109 --> 00:40:25,981
Like, two people could totally have
sex and no one would know, but...
562
00:40:25,982 --> 00:40:29,885
that... that would be wrong, right?
563
00:40:30,953 --> 00:40:32,654
Oh, no.
564
00:40:32,655 --> 00:40:35,924
Yo, yo, yo, for the first
time in over two decades,
565
00:40:35,925 --> 00:40:41,730
give it up for the one, the
only, Jersey's own Italian Ice!
566
00:40:41,731 --> 00:40:43,632
Hey yo!
567
00:40:43,633 --> 00:40:46,801
New Jersey, make some
motherfucking noise!
568
00:40:46,802 --> 00:40:49,804
Come on! Kick it, DJ!
569
00:40:50,806 --> 00:40:52,574
♪ Let's roll ♪
570
00:40:52,575 --> 00:40:54,409
♪ We're about to get nice ♪
571
00:40:54,410 --> 00:40:57,212
♪ With the one, the only ♪
572
00:40:57,213 --> 00:40:59,080
♪ No phony, Italian Ice ♪
573
00:40:59,081 --> 00:41:01,783
What the fuck is Italian Ice?
574
00:41:01,784 --> 00:41:03,618
♪ I got more fans
than the Mona Lisa ♪
575
00:41:03,619 --> 00:41:05,620
♪ When the ladies see
me, they all scream nice ♪
576
00:41:05,621 --> 00:41:07,556
♪ Everybody wants
some Italian Ice ♪
577
00:41:07,557 --> 00:41:11,726
"Italian Ice. Born
Dominic DiLallo in 1966.
578
00:41:11,727 --> 00:41:15,263
Had a minor regional hit
in 1991 called 'Melt.'"
579
00:41:17,264 --> 00:41:19,432
♪ Melt, ooh, ooh ♪
580
00:41:19,502 --> 00:41:21,636
♪ Melt all over my face, yeah ♪
581
00:41:21,637 --> 00:41:24,206
"But he's best known for
his unsuccessful lawsuit
582
00:41:24,307 --> 00:41:27,676
against Vanilla Ice for
stealing his career."
583
00:41:27,677 --> 00:41:32,013
♪ Melt all over my face, yeah ♪
584
00:41:32,014 --> 00:41:33,915
Hey, Freddy, that's
you in 20 years.
585
00:41:37,719 --> 00:41:40,588
- "Ha ha ha ha"... screw you!
- ♪ Melt all over my face, yeah ♪
586
00:41:40,589 --> 00:41:41,589
♪ I'm Italian Ice ♪
587
00:41:41,590 --> 00:41:43,723
♪ Yo, DJ, get nice ♪
588
00:41:47,830 --> 00:41:51,366
I've got such bad butt cringe,
I think my ass is gonna crack in half.
589
00:41:53,336 --> 00:41:57,772
New Jersey, Italian
Ice is back! Yeah!
590
00:41:57,773 --> 00:42:02,077
Suck my balls, Vanilla Ice.
Stupid douche.
591
00:43:10,812 --> 00:43:12,981
What the fuck are
you looking at, bitch?
592
00:43:16,317 --> 00:43:19,020
Oh, yeah!
593
00:43:20,790 --> 00:43:22,057
Ohh!
594
00:43:23,693 --> 00:43:26,161
Security to the
dance floor, please.
595
00:43:31,266 --> 00:43:32,367
Shit!
596
00:43:37,271 --> 00:43:38,973
No, no, no. No!
597
00:43:38,974 --> 00:43:40,341
No, no, no, no, no!
598
00:43:48,149 --> 00:43:50,785
- Hey...
- Get the fuck off of me!
599
00:43:50,786 --> 00:43:52,954
- Hey, all right!
- Fuck the police!
600
00:43:52,955 --> 00:43:54,389
Fuck the police!
601
00:43:54,390 --> 00:43:56,691
Hey, come on, come on.
602
00:43:56,692 --> 00:44:00,028
Hey, youse is all suspended from the
club for the rest of the summer.
603
00:44:00,029 --> 00:44:01,463
But they started it!
604
00:44:01,464 --> 00:44:03,665
- Yeah, but you threw your drink at her.
- It spilled!
605
00:44:03,666 --> 00:44:06,434
- Ah, get the fuck outta here.
- Motherfucker!
606
00:44:06,435 --> 00:44:09,971
We can't go out like this, so
let's just go back to the house.
607
00:44:09,972 --> 00:44:11,406
- Hey.
- Fuck it.
608
00:44:11,407 --> 00:44:14,742
- Hey, where youse goin'?
- Back to our house... you coming?
609
00:44:14,743 --> 00:44:16,911
- Yeah, we're going. Yeah, we're going.
- Just follow us.
610
00:44:16,912 --> 00:44:17,946
Come on.
611
00:44:19,781 --> 00:44:22,149
Let's have some fun now!
612
00:44:24,786 --> 00:44:27,789
How many times have you been
banned from this club before?
613
00:44:27,790 --> 00:44:31,392
- Ah, I've been banned, like, three times.
- Three times... no way!
614
00:44:32,394 --> 00:44:33,461
Shh! Shh...
615
00:44:33,462 --> 00:44:35,929
Shh.
616
00:44:37,165 --> 00:44:39,799
What the hell was that?
617
00:44:43,972 --> 00:44:46,307
- Someone's in the house.
- What?
618
00:44:49,145 --> 00:44:50,979
Who the hell are you?
619
00:44:50,980 --> 00:44:53,782
I'm Rosemarie! Val's cousin.
620
00:44:53,783 --> 00:44:57,252
- Rosemarie!
- Valerie, there you are!
621
00:44:57,253 --> 00:44:59,895
Everyone, this is
Rosemarie, my cousin.
622
00:44:59,921 --> 00:45:02,361
I texted her the address this
morning. I forgot to tell you.
623
00:45:02,362 --> 00:45:05,160
Thanks. Uh, how did
you get in here?
624
00:45:05,161 --> 00:45:09,297
The sliding glass door was unlocked, so
I just came in and made me some dinner.
625
00:45:09,298 --> 00:45:11,776
Oh, God, was I starving.
By the way...
626
00:45:11,802 --> 00:45:14,469
you're gonna need some more Super
Fudge ice cream and beef jerky.
627
00:45:15,971 --> 00:45:18,807
Yo, this place is fuckin' hooked!
628
00:45:18,808 --> 00:45:21,209
A little out of the
way, but hooked.
629
00:45:21,210 --> 00:45:24,379
What happened to Gigi? She should
have been back here by now.
630
00:45:24,380 --> 00:45:27,214
Maybe Rosemarie ate her.
631
00:45:27,516 --> 00:45:29,517
Watch it, that's my cousin.
632
00:45:29,518 --> 00:45:32,587
- Where do you keep the liquor?
- Screw that, where's the food?
633
00:45:32,588 --> 00:45:34,422
I'll nuke some fried chicken.
634
00:45:34,423 --> 00:45:36,456
- He's hungry.
- Yes!
635
00:45:37,858 --> 00:45:42,163
"Fat Camp Massacre!" This is
supposed to be the best movie ever!
636
00:45:42,164 --> 00:45:44,232
Oh, yeah, yeah, put it on.
637
00:45:44,233 --> 00:45:47,135
- Hey, I want a leg!
- I want breast!
638
00:45:47,136 --> 00:45:50,038
- I just want a piece of ass!
- Aah!
639
00:45:51,040 --> 00:45:54,108
Ooh... Oh, yeah...
640
00:46:09,425 --> 00:46:10,592
Roger.
641
00:46:11,594 --> 00:46:15,462
Roger. Roger!
642
00:46:17,598 --> 00:46:20,535
Roger! I smell pizza.
643
00:46:20,536 --> 00:46:25,406
I told you already. Stop thinking about
food, and go back to sleep, Keith.
644
00:46:25,407 --> 00:46:29,077
If they catch you eating at night one
more time, they're gonna kick you out.
645
00:46:29,078 --> 00:46:34,147
I don't care about that. I smell pizza,
I'm starving... I'm gonna find it.
646
00:46:51,933 --> 00:46:53,101
Cupcake!
647
00:46:57,305 --> 00:47:00,208
Ohh, I finally found you, cupcake.
648
00:47:00,209 --> 00:47:02,676
Mmm...
649
00:47:04,379 --> 00:47:08,916
Now where's that fucking
pizza? I'm starving!
650
00:47:11,386 --> 00:47:13,353
Pizza!
651
00:47:17,259 --> 00:47:18,660
Oh, my leg!
652
00:47:18,661 --> 00:47:22,397
I wouldn't mind being stuck in a bear trap
alone in the woods if it was with you.
653
00:47:22,398 --> 00:47:26,067
Ooh, who needs a bear trap when
I have handcuffs in my bedroom,
654
00:47:26,068 --> 00:47:29,003
- you sexy little ape, you?
- You little freak!
655
00:47:29,004 --> 00:47:30,271
- Uh-huh.
- Uhh!
656
00:47:33,642 --> 00:47:34,943
Oh, my God!
657
00:47:36,979 --> 00:47:40,682
- Bye! Whoo!
- Later, boys.
658
00:47:43,251 --> 00:47:44,762
Who are you?
659
00:47:44,788 --> 00:47:49,958
I'm Cupcake the Clown. And
you just ate my cupcake.
660
00:47:49,959 --> 00:47:53,061
So now it's time to cut a few
calories the old-fashioned way!
661
00:47:54,096 --> 00:47:56,397
Get me outta here, Mister.
Come on, get me outta here!
662
00:47:57,633 --> 00:47:59,100
Certainly.
663
00:48:01,603 --> 00:48:06,241
I'd smack that clown so fucking
hard, he'd be begging me to stop.
664
00:48:06,442 --> 00:48:09,110
Where are you taking
me, you big ape?
665
00:48:09,111 --> 00:48:13,114
- To the bedroom.
- We just passed it. Put me down!
666
00:48:17,351 --> 00:48:19,721
So... do you have a girlfriend?
667
00:48:19,722 --> 00:48:23,424
No, sweet tits. I don't
get burned like that.
668
00:48:23,425 --> 00:48:27,695
So why don't you do me a favor...
go into that bedroom.
669
00:48:27,696 --> 00:48:31,666
I'm going to the shower
and rinse off, okay?
670
00:48:55,256 --> 00:48:58,593
The Electro Beam 300? Classic!
671
00:49:21,650 --> 00:49:23,149
Ba ba!
672
00:49:41,069 --> 00:49:42,470
Yeah.
673
00:49:52,381 --> 00:49:54,348
You little freak.
674
00:49:55,751 --> 00:49:58,853
Oh, no. I'm a prisoner.
675
00:49:58,854 --> 00:50:01,487
Please, don't hurt me.
676
00:50:10,131 --> 00:50:11,798
What?
677
00:50:52,841 --> 00:50:55,576
I just wanted a slice!
678
00:50:55,577 --> 00:50:59,614
- Yo, get that fat piece of shit!
- Yeah, cry like a little bitch, fat boy.
679
00:51:23,204 --> 00:51:26,741
I can't take this shit.
Who wants to take a swim?
680
00:51:27,042 --> 00:51:28,409
Me.
681
00:51:28,410 --> 00:51:29,809
Let's go.
682
00:51:38,787 --> 00:51:41,956
Ha ha ha! Prepare to die!
683
00:51:46,728 --> 00:51:49,330
Ohh!
684
00:51:49,331 --> 00:51:50,932
Damn...
685
00:52:10,751 --> 00:52:13,353
Wait for me!
686
00:52:16,824 --> 00:52:20,561
I could totally see you as
becoming a lawyer. You know why?
687
00:52:20,562 --> 00:52:24,265
You got eyes just like the
guy from "Law and Order."
688
00:52:24,666 --> 00:52:27,835
Yeah, so maybe that's
what I should do...
689
00:52:27,836 --> 00:52:30,271
becoming a backstabbing lawyer
and make a lot of money.
690
00:52:30,272 --> 00:52:32,340
What about you?
691
00:52:32,341 --> 00:52:36,844
I could be your secretary. I got lots
of really sexy dresses and nice boobs,
692
00:52:36,845 --> 00:52:39,480
and I'm really good
at answering the phone.
693
00:52:40,081 --> 00:52:46,454
Val, Dina. Come over here so I can show
you the new pictures of Mr. Wiggles.
694
00:52:46,455 --> 00:52:47,788
- Mr. Wiggles!
- Ohh...
695
00:52:47,789 --> 00:52:49,322
You sit tight there.
696
00:52:52,359 --> 00:52:56,464
- Who the fuck is Mr. Wiggles?
- Rosemarie's pet ferret! Wanna see it?
697
00:52:56,465 --> 00:52:58,599
- Aww!
- Isn't he sweet?
698
00:52:58,600 --> 00:53:02,169
This is me and Mr.
Wiggles in the shower.
699
00:53:02,170 --> 00:53:03,404
Aww!
700
00:53:03,405 --> 00:53:06,040
Dude, what the fuck is wrong
with these fucking girls?
701
00:53:06,041 --> 00:53:08,409
I love that one!
702
00:53:08,410 --> 00:53:10,845
I'm not fucking putting
up with this shit no more.
703
00:53:10,846 --> 00:53:14,681
See, he's got a
personality like a person.
704
00:53:18,520 --> 00:53:21,087
Where do you two
think you're going?
705
00:53:21,789 --> 00:53:25,359
I'm taking my secretary...
to the boardroom.
706
00:53:25,360 --> 00:53:27,862
He wants me to take dick-tation.
707
00:53:29,498 --> 00:53:31,064
Oh, shut up.
708
00:53:53,654 --> 00:53:56,957
Get lost. We're trying
to have a conversation.
709
00:53:56,958 --> 00:53:59,327
- Freddy, come here.
- What?
710
00:53:59,328 --> 00:54:03,963
I don't know, I got a math question I'm
trying to figure out. Just get over here.
711
00:54:11,006 --> 00:54:12,373
What do you want?
712
00:54:12,374 --> 00:54:14,909
Look, Tony wants to get with Dina.
713
00:54:14,910 --> 00:54:17,745
I wanna get with Teresa, and you
wanna get with Valerie, right?
714
00:54:17,746 --> 00:54:18,746
Yeah.
715
00:54:18,747 --> 00:54:22,383
Well, there's four of them,
and there's three of us.
716
00:54:22,384 --> 00:54:23,751
So you know what that means?
717
00:54:23,752 --> 00:54:27,355
No one is gonna get with anyone until we
figure out a way to extract the grenade.
718
00:54:27,356 --> 00:54:28,556
Make it three on three.
719
00:54:28,557 --> 00:54:30,925
Hey, girls, girls, you guys...
you guys want a doughnut?
720
00:54:30,926 --> 00:54:32,988
No, the doughnuts are for
you, honey. We get it...
721
00:54:33,014 --> 00:54:35,351
you like to eat fuckin'
doughnuts all the time.
722
00:54:35,377 --> 00:54:38,666
No fucking way. I'm not taking one for the
team for the fifth fucking time in a row.
723
00:54:38,667 --> 00:54:41,402
- Oh, come on, Freddy.
- We got a better idea.
724
00:54:41,403 --> 00:54:43,404
Just start talking to
her as if you like her,
725
00:54:43,405 --> 00:54:45,740
and pretend you're interested
in what she says, right?
726
00:54:45,741 --> 00:54:48,542
Ask her to take you to the store,
like you gotta go get something.
727
00:54:48,543 --> 00:54:51,779
Yeah, use my car. Now, when you
get a few miles down the road,
728
00:54:51,780 --> 00:54:55,182
just open the door, let
her out, and drive away.
729
00:54:55,183 --> 00:54:58,886
Yeah, but then when she finds her way
back, they're all gonna hate us.
730
00:54:58,887 --> 00:55:01,155
So? We'll be done.
731
00:55:01,156 --> 00:55:05,159
Yeah... Tony will be smashing Dina,
I'll be hooking up with Teresa,
732
00:55:05,160 --> 00:55:06,894
and Valerie, she'll be all yours.
733
00:55:09,798 --> 00:55:10,798
Youse are good.
734
00:55:10,799 --> 00:55:13,566
- Go get 'em.
- Watch this.
735
00:55:16,070 --> 00:55:18,072
What are you guys talking
about over there?
736
00:55:18,073 --> 00:55:21,041
Tony just wanted to find
out the square route of 37,
737
00:55:21,042 --> 00:55:23,644
so I figured I'd help
him out, you know?
738
00:55:23,645 --> 00:55:27,181
Oh, okay.
739
00:55:27,182 --> 00:55:31,218
- You must be good with numbers.
- Well...
740
00:55:31,219 --> 00:55:33,687
I know a perfect 10 when I see one.
741
00:55:33,688 --> 00:55:37,758
Ohh.... You're so sweet.
742
00:55:37,959 --> 00:55:41,429
I never got to tell you about
my ferret, Mr. Wiggles.
743
00:55:41,430 --> 00:55:44,098
Oh, yeah, I'm so interested.
Please, tell me.
744
00:55:44,099 --> 00:55:48,068
Well, every Christmas, I dress
him up in a ballerina costume.
745
00:55:48,069 --> 00:55:51,105
Wow. Jeez.
746
00:55:51,106 --> 00:55:52,606
What?
747
00:55:52,607 --> 00:55:57,912
Oh, nothing, I just wish I had a cigarette
when we talked about Mr. Wiggles.
748
00:55:57,913 --> 00:56:00,714
We could drive into town
to get a pack, if you want.
749
00:56:00,715 --> 00:56:02,983
Yeah, that's a great idea!
750
00:56:02,984 --> 00:56:06,520
Then we could smoke cigarettes and
talk about Mr. Wiggles all night!
751
00:56:06,521 --> 00:56:08,221
Let's go!
752
00:56:23,604 --> 00:56:25,673
Oh, you nasty little bitch.
753
00:56:25,674 --> 00:56:28,876
Oh... oh.
754
00:56:28,877 --> 00:56:31,545
Oh, fuck yeah.
755
00:56:38,220 --> 00:56:39,520
Aah!
756
00:56:50,131 --> 00:56:54,101
- I have a hamster named Buzzy that...
- Oh, wow, that's fucking amazing.
757
00:56:54,102 --> 00:56:56,636
He knows how to swim.
758
00:57:05,979 --> 00:57:08,248
Hey, what's up?
759
00:57:08,249 --> 00:57:11,785
Nothing, just, uh,
catching up on some emails.
760
00:57:11,786 --> 00:57:15,288
That's cool. So, uh...
761
00:57:15,289 --> 00:57:19,602
- you get good reception out here?
- Yeah, it's not too bad.
762
00:57:19,628 --> 00:57:22,229
- Oh, really?
- Yeah...
763
00:57:22,230 --> 00:57:24,732
So, um...
764
00:57:24,733 --> 00:57:27,201
- What's wrong?
- Nothing.
765
00:57:27,202 --> 00:57:28,869
Nothing, I'm just
hanging out, you know?
766
00:57:28,870 --> 00:57:30,871
- It's all good, sweetheart.
- It's, uh...
767
00:57:30,872 --> 00:57:35,877
- You're gonna have fun, come on.
- Yeah, I'm having a good time.
768
00:57:36,578 --> 00:57:38,112
Just relax.
769
00:57:38,113 --> 00:57:40,147
- I'm pretty relaxed.
- Just relax.
770
00:57:40,148 --> 00:57:42,516
- What the fuck?!
- What the hell was that?
771
00:57:42,517 --> 00:57:45,719
What the fuck?! What, you
don't wanna be with me?
772
00:57:45,720 --> 00:57:47,988
No, why would you think
I'd wanna be with you?
773
00:57:47,989 --> 00:57:51,292
'Cause every other bitch in New
Jersey would kill to wife me up!
774
00:57:51,293 --> 00:57:52,760
Wife... really?
775
00:57:52,761 --> 00:57:56,564
'Cause if I was married to you, I'd put
poison in your orange juice every morning!
776
00:57:56,565 --> 00:58:01,069
Yeah, well, if I was married to
you, I'd drink it, you fuckin' bitch!
777
00:58:03,438 --> 00:58:05,104
Dick.
778
00:58:10,644 --> 00:58:15,149
So, uh, is Buzzy a boy
or a girl hamster?
779
00:58:17,385 --> 00:58:20,287
So how much longer to the store?
780
00:58:20,288 --> 00:58:24,124
Couldn't be much further.
Oh, my God, you see that?
781
00:58:24,325 --> 00:58:25,159
See what?
782
00:58:25,160 --> 00:58:27,695
Looked like a little puppy
dog... it crossed the road.
783
00:58:27,696 --> 00:58:31,065
- A puppy dog?
- Yeah, it looked like it was lost!
784
00:58:31,066 --> 00:58:33,367
Stop the car!
785
00:58:33,368 --> 00:58:37,371
I think it ran into the cow pasture! Oh,
God, I hope the cows don't eat him!
786
00:58:37,372 --> 00:58:39,340
Oh, my God!
787
00:58:43,712 --> 00:58:47,114
Freddy! Freddy, you asshole!
788
00:58:55,123 --> 00:58:58,258
There's so many hot
gorilla juiceheads in here...
789
00:58:58,259 --> 00:58:59,994
Hey, where's Rosemarie?
790
00:58:59,995 --> 00:59:04,164
Uh, she saw an all-night buffet and
decided to go back for a midnight snack.
791
00:59:06,767 --> 00:59:08,102
What?
792
00:59:08,103 --> 00:59:10,938
Mmm. Where's my shot?
793
00:59:10,939 --> 00:59:13,007
- Hey, wingman!- Oh, yeah!
794
00:59:17,144 --> 00:59:18,812
Huh?
795
00:59:18,813 --> 00:59:20,147
Ah!
796
00:59:27,856 --> 00:59:31,825
- Vinnie, you fucking asshole!
- What?
797
00:59:31,826 --> 00:59:35,296
Fuck all of youse. I need a smoke.
798
00:59:37,732 --> 00:59:39,400
Yo, hey, come back here, you pussy!
799
00:59:39,401 --> 00:59:42,535
What'd you have, two bowls
of stupid this morning?
800
00:59:46,408 --> 00:59:47,941
Oh, that was a good one.
801
00:59:48,943 --> 00:59:51,679
- Yo, that was dope.
- Eww.
802
00:59:51,680 --> 00:59:52,785
Why do they keep flying into it
803
00:59:52,811 --> 00:59:55,449
when they see their friends
exploding all over the place?
804
00:59:55,450 --> 01:00:01,121
Just mindless life forms following the
light aimlessly into the darkness.
805
01:00:07,295 --> 01:00:08,827
Mm?
806
01:00:37,325 --> 01:00:38,926
Hey, anybody home in here?
807
01:00:50,904 --> 01:00:54,341
- Hey, where'd Freddy go?
- He had a hissy fit and took off.
808
01:00:54,342 --> 01:00:57,010
Oh, he's got my fucking keys!
809
01:00:57,011 --> 01:01:00,180
You just gonna leave
me here? Screw him.
810
01:01:00,181 --> 01:01:03,817
- Ah, quiet, bitch.
- Screw you.
811
01:01:03,818 --> 01:01:06,086
Hey, Freddy!
812
01:01:06,487 --> 01:01:10,124
- What's he doing?
- Dropping dead, I hope.
813
01:01:10,325 --> 01:01:13,460
Hey, I'm starving.
What do we got to eat?
814
01:01:13,461 --> 01:01:15,929
I got some hot dogs in the fridge.
815
01:01:15,930 --> 01:01:19,632
Hot dogs? I'm all over that shit.
816
01:01:24,539 --> 01:01:30,209
Hey, Freddy, you fucking
dickhead! Where are you?
817
01:01:40,587 --> 01:01:42,657
Freddy?
818
01:01:43,358 --> 01:01:45,159
Where the fuck are you?
819
01:01:45,160 --> 01:01:47,293
Vinnie!
820
01:01:49,062 --> 01:01:52,330
If he's fucking with me, I'm
gonna throw him a beatin'.
821
01:01:56,436 --> 01:01:58,304
Freddy?
822
01:02:04,478 --> 01:02:08,115
So, yeah, I do, like, about
1,000 push-ups every day.
823
01:02:08,116 --> 01:02:10,150
Really?
824
01:02:10,151 --> 01:02:12,319
I need to eat now.
825
01:02:12,320 --> 01:02:16,890
Good... get the barbecue going
while I get the other stuff ready.
826
01:02:16,891 --> 01:02:19,293
All right.
827
01:02:38,612 --> 01:02:40,547
Mm!
828
01:03:33,533 --> 01:03:36,637
No...
829
01:05:06,961 --> 01:05:08,861
Kill me.
830
01:05:11,999 --> 01:05:14,768
Please kill me.
831
01:05:23,644 --> 01:05:25,712
Did you hear that?
832
01:05:26,013 --> 01:05:27,080
Hear what?
833
01:05:27,081 --> 01:05:28,782
I thought I heard
something outside.
834
01:05:28,783 --> 01:05:31,452
It's probably just the
guys horsing around.
835
01:05:34,755 --> 01:05:37,257
There it is again.
836
01:05:37,258 --> 01:05:39,459
Why don't you see if they
want anything to eat?
837
01:05:39,460 --> 01:05:42,295
Yeah, Val, I'm starving.
838
01:05:42,296 --> 01:05:46,566
All right. I'll be right back.
839
01:05:48,669 --> 01:05:50,237
Mmm.
840
01:05:50,238 --> 01:05:52,272
Told you I was hungry.
841
01:06:06,319 --> 01:06:08,355
Freddy?
842
01:06:08,856 --> 01:06:11,023
Vinnie.
843
01:06:12,626 --> 01:06:14,893
Freddy?
844
01:06:15,629 --> 01:06:18,230
Stop horsing around.
845
01:06:19,533 --> 01:06:21,701
Vinnie?
846
01:06:26,339 --> 01:06:28,373
Freddy?
847
01:06:34,047 --> 01:06:36,215
Vinnie?
848
01:06:38,618 --> 01:06:40,452
Freddy!
849
01:06:42,589 --> 01:06:45,559
Hey, how many dogs am I
supposed to be making out there?
850
01:06:45,560 --> 01:06:49,830
- We don't know yet.
- Where the hell is Valerie?
851
01:06:50,331 --> 01:06:53,266
So, Dina, whose house
is this anyway?
852
01:06:53,267 --> 01:06:56,403
- It's Teresa's Uncle Vito's house.
- And who's Uncle Vito?
853
01:06:56,404 --> 01:06:59,372
Vito Rubino.
854
01:06:59,573 --> 01:07:03,677
Teresa's uncle is Big "V" Rubino?
855
01:07:03,678 --> 01:07:06,114
- Isn't he in jail?
- He's under house arrest...
856
01:07:06,140 --> 01:07:10,216
but I wouldn't bet on too many
witnesses testifying against him.
857
01:07:10,217 --> 01:07:14,588
That's it. I gotta go find where these
meatballs are. I'll be right back.
858
01:07:14,589 --> 01:07:16,490
Hurry up.
859
01:07:23,730 --> 01:07:27,834
Yo, Freddy, Vinnie! Teresa's
uncle is Big "V" Rubino.
860
01:07:27,835 --> 01:07:30,869
We gotta get the fuck outta here!
861
01:07:35,408 --> 01:07:38,277
Hey, you dickheads in there?
862
01:07:41,781 --> 01:07:43,849
What the fuck?
863
01:08:01,901 --> 01:08:04,538
I'm gonna go and straighten
things up around the pool.
864
01:08:04,539 --> 01:08:07,240
- You want a hand?
- No, I got it, um...
865
01:08:07,241 --> 01:08:11,309
could you clean things up around here and
see when everyone would like to eat?
866
01:08:14,581 --> 01:08:17,749
I bet they'll be
dying to eat by now.
867
01:08:45,212 --> 01:08:46,912
Shit!
868
01:09:31,592 --> 01:09:33,892
Bunch of pigs.
869
01:09:35,562 --> 01:09:37,396
Ugh.
870
01:09:49,310 --> 01:09:51,376
You guys want something to eat?
871
01:10:01,555 --> 01:10:03,790
Dina! Dina!
872
01:10:05,826 --> 01:10:07,294
Dina!
873
01:10:07,295 --> 01:10:10,411
Joey and Joanne! They're dead.
874
01:10:10,437 --> 01:10:13,661
- So is Gigi!
- What about Candi and Gino?
875
01:10:13,662 --> 01:10:16,670
I don't know... I don't know. They
have to still be in their room.
876
01:10:16,671 --> 01:10:19,339
Oh, my God.
877
01:10:32,852 --> 01:10:36,488
- What's going on?
- I don't know.
878
01:10:43,396 --> 01:10:44,831
Wait...
879
01:10:49,268 --> 01:10:50,670
Gino!
880
01:10:57,244 --> 01:10:58,912
Dina!
881
01:10:58,913 --> 01:11:03,083
Dina, open the door! Dina, help me!
882
01:11:03,084 --> 01:11:05,083
Tony!
883
01:11:18,765 --> 01:11:20,934
Help me.
884
01:11:21,969 --> 01:11:25,839
- Oh, my God, what's going on?
- I don't know... call 9-1-1.
885
01:11:29,076 --> 01:11:31,411
Uncle Vito? Uncle Vito, pick up!
886
01:11:31,412 --> 01:11:34,013
Yeah, somebody's trying to kill us!
887
01:11:39,786 --> 01:11:42,254
Quick, open the door!
888
01:11:46,160 --> 01:11:47,994
Ohh!
889
01:11:47,995 --> 01:11:52,030
Dina, it's stuck! Oh, my God.
890
01:11:54,901 --> 01:11:57,003
- Run!
- Oh, my God.
891
01:11:59,173 --> 01:12:03,042
Come on... come on,
get up! Get up... run!
892
01:12:03,043 --> 01:12:05,210
Let's get out of here!
893
01:12:10,384 --> 01:12:12,452
Oh, my God!
894
01:12:16,657 --> 01:12:18,825
- Oh, God.
- Oh, holy shit.
895
01:12:18,826 --> 01:12:20,760
Oh, God.
896
01:12:20,761 --> 01:12:23,663
- Where are the fucking keys?
- Come on!
897
01:12:33,139 --> 01:12:35,175
Come on!
898
01:12:35,176 --> 01:12:37,777
Let us in!
899
01:12:37,778 --> 01:12:41,379
It's locked! Come on!
900
01:12:41,981 --> 01:12:43,949
Come on.
901
01:12:44,818 --> 01:12:46,451
Ohh!
902
01:13:05,172 --> 01:13:07,073
Shit!
903
01:13:07,074 --> 01:13:10,877
- Where's the fucking light switch?
- I don't know. I got it!
904
01:13:20,820 --> 01:13:23,957
Go, go, go! Go!
905
01:13:25,226 --> 01:13:27,827
Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God!
906
01:13:33,500 --> 01:13:35,467
Come on, come on!
907
01:13:37,370 --> 01:13:40,673
- Valerie!
- Valerie!
908
01:13:40,674 --> 01:13:42,607
My God!
909
01:13:56,624 --> 01:13:58,822
- Where the fuck can we go?
- We can't use the cars...
910
01:13:58,848 --> 01:14:01,283
- and he'll catch us in the woods.
- If we can get to the rowboat...
911
01:14:01,309 --> 01:14:03,133
we can take it to the middle of the
lake, where he can't reach us.
912
01:14:03,134 --> 01:14:06,716
You know I can't swim!
If I fall in, I'll drown!
913
01:14:06,767 --> 01:14:09,936
Jesus Christ, Teresa,
he's gonna kill us!
914
01:14:10,938 --> 01:14:14,105
Who are you?
915
01:14:16,209 --> 01:14:18,111
Edgar?
916
01:14:18,112 --> 01:14:20,680
Troy, my name is.
917
01:14:20,681 --> 01:14:24,150
- Why?!
- It's a Jersey thing.
918
01:14:25,553 --> 01:14:26,953
Dina, look out!
919
01:14:28,055 --> 01:14:30,189
Dina!
920
01:14:55,881 --> 01:14:57,984
Police!
921
01:15:00,821 --> 01:15:03,089
What's wrong? Tell me what's wrong!
922
01:15:03,090 --> 01:15:04,958
Everybody's dead!
923
01:15:04,959 --> 01:15:07,860
Everybody? Is there anybody else?
924
01:15:07,861 --> 01:15:10,296
- In the house.
- All right, stay here.
925
01:15:10,297 --> 01:15:11,998
Backup and the ambulance
are on the way.
926
01:15:11,999 --> 01:15:15,034
Stay right here. Dennis, come on.
927
01:15:27,680 --> 01:15:32,285
I'm Officer Davis. Do you need
any kind of medical assistance?
928
01:15:32,286 --> 01:15:35,154
Okay. Go check inside!
929
01:15:35,155 --> 01:15:37,624
Okay, I need you to tell
me everything that happened.
930
01:15:37,625 --> 01:15:40,660
- I need to see Dina!
- No, no, no.
931
01:15:40,661 --> 01:15:43,495
You can't go in there. You
need to stay out here with me.
932
01:15:48,601 --> 01:15:51,604
I'll take care of this one. Check
the rest of the barn for me.
933
01:15:51,605 --> 01:15:52,939
Okay.
934
01:15:55,442 --> 01:15:59,246
He's got a pulse! Help
me get the gurney.
935
01:16:16,729 --> 01:16:17,730
Help me!
936
01:16:19,967 --> 01:16:22,101
Fuck! Oh, fuck.
937
01:16:22,102 --> 01:16:24,671
- What the fuck happened?
- Man, I was nervous.
938
01:16:25,172 --> 01:16:28,841
- Gordon to Davis.
- Hold on.
939
01:16:29,507 --> 01:16:31,935
- Davis, go.
- How do I explain this?
940
01:16:31,936 --> 01:16:34,247
- I have an 11-71.
- Shit.
941
01:16:34,248 --> 01:16:36,315
I think you should get
over here right now.
942
01:16:36,316 --> 01:16:39,152
I'm on my way. Okay...
943
01:16:39,153 --> 01:16:44,622
I need you to stay in this
spot, okay? I'll be right back.
944
01:16:47,927 --> 01:16:50,897
Plant this in his hands. We'll just
say it was self-defense, all right?
945
01:16:50,898 --> 01:16:54,900
All right, cool. Good
looking out, man.
946
01:16:57,904 --> 01:17:02,273
Dex, look at this. How am
I supposed to say that?
947
01:17:05,812 --> 01:17:09,247
Some weird shit going on here, man.
948
01:17:58,898 --> 01:18:02,767
This can't be the guy.
Wasn't this guy missing an eye?
949
01:18:13,581 --> 01:18:17,115
Get over here right now.
950
01:18:33,499 --> 01:18:36,035
Take that, motherfucker!
951
01:19:05,998 --> 01:19:09,100
Come back here, you bitch!
952
01:19:13,072 --> 01:19:16,241
I'll gut ya like a pig!
953
01:19:28,421 --> 01:19:32,593
I'll turn your insides
into sausage!
954
01:19:47,740 --> 01:19:52,076
♪ Row, row, row your boat ♪
955
01:20:12,432 --> 01:20:14,100
No!
956
01:20:14,101 --> 01:20:17,470
No!
957
01:20:22,409 --> 01:20:24,110
Please!
958
01:20:26,446 --> 01:20:28,447
Please!
959
01:20:28,448 --> 01:20:32,684
Get over here right now.
960
01:20:34,121 --> 01:20:36,355
Please!
961
01:20:41,928 --> 01:20:44,762
Get over here right now.
962
01:20:49,969 --> 01:20:52,537
Uncle Vito!
963
01:21:03,416 --> 01:21:04,951
Uncle Vito!
964
01:21:07,787 --> 01:21:12,391
He was gonna kill me, just like
he killed Dina and everyone else.
965
01:21:12,392 --> 01:21:16,228
- Everything's gonna be all right.
- How did you get here so fast?
966
01:21:16,229 --> 01:21:18,797
When Edgar called, we
knew something was wrong.
967
01:21:18,798 --> 01:21:19,999
Edgar?
968
01:21:20,000 --> 01:21:23,093
Last week, two of my guys went missing
down here, and when you called,
969
01:21:23,119 --> 01:21:26,973
said you were coming down for the weekend,
I asked Edgar to keep an eye on you.
970
01:21:27,474 --> 01:21:30,409
He left me this message
an hour before you called.
971
01:21:31,063 --> 01:21:34,547
Mr. V., my brother's lost
his fuckin' mind today.
972
01:21:34,548 --> 01:21:37,616
Turned our barn into a
fuckin' slaughterhouse.
973
01:21:37,617 --> 01:21:40,019
Give me the phone, you big idiot.
974
01:21:40,020 --> 01:21:41,320
Troy, no!
975
01:21:43,690 --> 01:21:45,758
Oh, my God.
976
01:21:46,359 --> 01:21:51,097
Promise me I'll never have
to see this place again.
977
01:21:51,498 --> 01:21:54,333
- Please.
- I promise, Princess.
978
01:21:54,334 --> 01:21:58,103
Never again. Never again!
979
01:22:17,190 --> 01:22:20,794
It's so beautiful out here, and
I love all this nature, but...
980
01:22:20,820 --> 01:22:23,062
don't you miss your beach
house down by the shore?
981
01:22:23,063 --> 01:22:26,699
What beach house? After the
storm, there was nothing left.
982
01:22:26,700 --> 01:22:30,236
So I took the insurance money,
and I bought all of this.
983
01:22:30,237 --> 01:22:33,072
No way. You own all of this?
984
01:22:33,073 --> 01:22:36,317
- This must have cost you a fortune.
- A fortune?
985
01:22:36,343 --> 01:22:41,149
A fortune? The little mobster who used
to own it was so anxious to sell it,
986
01:22:41,175 --> 01:22:47,281
he practically gave it away. So I wound up
spending pennies to buy a fully renovated,
987
01:22:47,282 --> 01:22:50,899
cool-as-balls home with a lake!
988
01:22:51,425 --> 01:22:54,126
Tell me I'm not the
luckiest guy in the world.
989
01:22:54,127 --> 01:22:56,761
That's why I like you, Ronnie.
990
01:22:58,664 --> 01:23:01,734
'Cause you're smart
and you're classy.
991
01:23:04,438 --> 01:23:08,739
Ohh... life is good.
992
01:23:22,588 --> 01:23:27,026
Oh, my God! That's a huge gun!
993
01:23:27,527 --> 01:23:31,028
And it's always fully loaded.
994
01:24:01,260 --> 01:24:03,462
Here, little puppy.
995
01:24:03,663 --> 01:24:07,366
Come out, come out
wherever you are.
996
01:24:07,567 --> 01:24:10,870
Come here, little puppy.
Don't let the cows eat you.
74127
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof