subtitlecat.com

All language subtitles for Hollywood Sex Wars (2011) [1080p] Bluray [Filmxy.com] -resync

Afrikaans

Akan

Albanian

Amharic

Arabic

Armenian

Azerbaijani

Basque

Belarusian

Bemba

Bengali

Bihari

Bosnian

Breton

Bulgarian

Cambodian

Catalan

Cebuano

Cherokee

Chichewa

Chinese (Simplified)

Chinese (Traditional)

Corsican

Croatian

Czech

Danish

Dutch

English

Esperanto

Estonian

Ewe

Faroese

Filipino

Finnish

French Download

Frisian

Galician

Georgian

German

Greek Download

Guarani

Gujarati

Haitian Creole

Hausa

Hawaiian

Hebrew

Hindi

Hmong

Hungarian

Icelandic

Igbo

Indonesian Download

Interlingua

Irish

Italian

Japanese

Javanese

Kannada

Kazakh

Kinyarwanda

Kirundi

Kongo

Korean

Krio (Sierra Leone)

Kurdish

Kurdish (Soranî)

Kyrgyz

Laothian

Latin

Latvian

Lingala

Lithuanian

Lozi

Luganda

Luo

Luxembourgish

Macedonian

Malagasy

Malay Download

Malayalam

Maltese

Maori

Marathi

Mauritian Creole

Moldavian

Mongolian

Myanmar (Burmese)

Montenegrin

Nepali

Nigerian Pidgin

Northern Sotho

Norwegian

Norwegian (Nynorsk)

Occitan

Oriya

Oromo

Pashto

Persian

Polish

Portuguese (Brazil)

Portuguese (Portugal)

Punjabi

Quechua

Romanian

Romansh

Runyakitara

Russian

Samoan

Scots Gaelic

Serbian

Serbo-Croatian

Sesotho

Setswana

Seychellois Creole

Shona

Sindhi

Sinhalese

Slovak

Slovenian

Somali

Spanish

Spanish (Latin American)

Sundanese

Swahili

Swedish

Tajik

Tamil

Tatar

Telugu

Thai

Tigrinya

Tonga

Tshiluba

Tumbuka

Turkish

Turkmen

Twi

Uighur

Ukrainian

Urdu

Uzbek

Vietnamese

Welsh

Wolof

Xhosa

Yiddish

Yoruba

Zulu

Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:15,774 --> 00:00:18,476 ( match lights ) 2 00:00:20,545 --> 00:00:24,248 Max: THERE'S A WAR GOING ON EVERY NIGHT IN HOLLYWOOD. 3 00:00:24,250 --> 00:00:26,384 ( dance music playing ) 4 00:00:41,666 --> 00:00:43,667 BOYS TRYING TO GET LAID. 5 00:00:47,439 --> 00:00:50,674 AND GIRLS TRYING TO GET PAID. 6 00:00:50,676 --> 00:00:52,043 ( cash register dings ) 7 00:00:57,049 --> 00:01:00,051 NOW MOST BACHELOR PARTIES SUCK. 8 00:01:05,357 --> 00:01:08,059 IT'S JUST A BUNCH OF DRUNKEN DUDES 9 00:01:08,061 --> 00:01:10,327 HUDDLED AROUND A SKANKY STRIPPER. 10 00:01:16,401 --> 00:01:19,070 BUT THIS ONE WAS THE SHIT... 11 00:01:26,078 --> 00:01:29,613 AND ALL BECAUSE OF THIS GUY-- JOHNNY EYELASH. 12 00:01:29,615 --> 00:01:30,681 WHAT'S THE MATTER, SARAH? 13 00:01:30,683 --> 00:01:32,383 MY SHOE BROKE. 14 00:01:32,385 --> 00:01:33,617 SARAH, HOLD ON, LOOK. 15 00:01:33,619 --> 00:01:34,852 THERE YOU GO. 16 00:01:34,854 --> 00:01:36,587 ( gasps ) YOU'RE THE BEST! 17 00:01:36,589 --> 00:01:39,123 ( laughing ) 18 00:01:40,725 --> 00:01:42,827 ( men chattering ) 19 00:01:42,829 --> 00:01:46,197 Max: THIS IS A STORY OF LOVE AND ROMANCE... 20 00:01:49,434 --> 00:01:52,103 ( men yelling ) 21 00:02:00,512 --> 00:02:03,247 AND WHAT COULD BE MORE ROMANTIC THAN WHORES ON ALL FOURS 22 00:02:03,249 --> 00:02:05,483 WITH STICKS POKING OUT OF THEIR ASSES? 23 00:02:07,819 --> 00:02:09,520 ( cheering ) 24 00:02:09,522 --> 00:02:10,855 I'LL TELL YOU WHAT... 25 00:02:10,857 --> 00:02:13,457 NOTHING! 26 00:02:13,459 --> 00:02:15,726 BUT IT WASN'T ALWAYS LIKE THIS. 27 00:02:15,728 --> 00:02:17,895 OH, NO. 28 00:02:22,834 --> 00:02:25,336 COME ON, LET'S FUCK. 29 00:02:25,338 --> 00:02:29,507 UH, NO, I CAN'T. I GOTTA GET UP FOR WORK. 30 00:02:29,509 --> 00:02:31,142 BUT YOU'RE GONNA TAKE ME HOME, RIGHT? 31 00:02:31,144 --> 00:02:34,812 UH, YEAH, YEAH. I'M GONNA TAKE YOU HOME. 32 00:02:34,814 --> 00:02:37,181 YOU'RE NOT GONNA TELL YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT THIS, ARE YOU? 33 00:02:37,183 --> 00:02:40,217 NO...AND YOU BETTER NOT TELL NOBODY, EITHER. 34 00:02:40,219 --> 00:02:44,288 IT LOOK LIKE YOU WERE ABOUT TO TELL EVERY GODDAMN BODY. 35 00:02:44,290 --> 00:02:46,891 Max: THERE'S A CERTAIN TYPE OF WOMAN IN L.A. 36 00:02:46,893 --> 00:02:50,327 FROM HERE ON OUT, WE'LL CALL THEM "THE ENEMY." 37 00:02:50,329 --> 00:02:52,329 ACTUALLY, FAHID, THE LAW IS ON PAGE'S SIDE. 38 00:02:52,331 --> 00:02:55,599 THE INJURY WAS SUSTAINED AT WORK, THUS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. 39 00:02:55,601 --> 00:02:57,902 SHE WAS DRUNK! SO WHAT? 40 00:02:57,904 --> 00:03:00,371 THERE ARE VERY SPECIFIC RULES. 41 00:03:00,373 --> 00:03:02,840 YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO GET ANY GIRLS TO WORK HERE FOR MONTHS. 42 00:03:02,842 --> 00:03:03,908 YOU KNOW WE CAN DO IT. 43 00:03:03,910 --> 00:03:05,809 I SAW YOU ALL OVER HIM! 44 00:03:05,811 --> 00:03:08,812 IF LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD, THEN THIS IS THE FRONT LINE. 45 00:03:08,814 --> 00:03:10,881 I WANT MY HAIR! THAT'S WHAT YOU GET! 46 00:03:10,883 --> 00:03:13,684 WHAT ARE YOU GUYS FIGHTING ABOUT? WHO THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS? 47 00:03:13,686 --> 00:03:16,654 SHE WENT HOME WITH MY TUESDAY/THURSDAY, AND I REALLY LIKED HIM. 48 00:03:16,656 --> 00:03:19,356 SHE WAS STILL FUCKING WORKING. YOU'RE FIGHTING OVER A CUSTOMER? 49 00:03:19,358 --> 00:03:21,892 YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS REALLY ISN'T ANY OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS, ALL RIGHT? 50 00:03:21,894 --> 00:03:24,295 I KNOW, BUT CAN YOU TALK, PLEASE. 51 00:03:24,297 --> 00:03:26,230 WHATEVER! UHH! 52 00:03:26,232 --> 00:03:27,598 GIVE ME BACK MY HAIR! 53 00:03:32,938 --> 00:03:34,605 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 54 00:03:34,607 --> 00:03:37,741 I HAVEN'T CHECKED MY EMAIL IN WEEKS. 55 00:03:39,311 --> 00:03:40,344 WHAT? 56 00:03:40,346 --> 00:03:41,745 YOU HAVE AN EMAIL ACCOUNT? 57 00:03:41,747 --> 00:03:43,614 OF COURSE I DO. 58 00:03:43,616 --> 00:03:44,848 WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM? 59 00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:47,885 NOTHING. JUST... 60 00:03:47,887 --> 00:03:50,487 YOU GIRLS ARE FIGHTING OVER A GUY WHO MOST LIKELY COULDN'T CARE LESS 61 00:03:50,489 --> 00:03:53,924 ABOUT EITHER ONE OF YOU EXCEPT FOR TO STICK IT IN. SHE STARTED IT. 62 00:03:53,926 --> 00:03:56,427 WHAT IS HIS NAME? SHAWN. 63 00:03:56,429 --> 00:03:58,862 LAST NAME? UM, I DON'T KNOW, 64 00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:01,632 BUT I KNOW HE WORKS AT THE BEAUTY BAR. 65 00:04:03,568 --> 00:04:05,302 OH, LOOK. HERE WE GO. 66 00:04:05,304 --> 00:04:07,504 SHAWN, 6'1", SOUR MILK BREATH. 67 00:04:07,506 --> 00:04:09,740 YEAH, THAT'S HIM. THREE STARS IN BED? 68 00:04:09,742 --> 00:04:11,508 LIKE THE RESTAURANT SYSTEM? 69 00:04:11,510 --> 00:04:13,844 NO, SWEETIE, OUT OF TEN. YEAH. 70 00:04:13,846 --> 00:04:15,279 OH, LOOK...HPV. 71 00:04:15,281 --> 00:04:16,380 YEAH, THAT'S HIM. 72 00:04:16,382 --> 00:04:17,748 WHAT? ( mouths ) 73 00:04:17,750 --> 00:04:19,984 THAT MOTHERFUCKER. OOH, LET ME SEE. 74 00:04:19,986 --> 00:04:22,987 OH, MY GOD. HOW DO YOU KNOW ALL THIS STUFF? 75 00:04:22,989 --> 00:04:25,689 WE WERE JUST SO OVER THE LYING, THE GAMES, THE CHEATING, 76 00:04:25,691 --> 00:04:29,493 SO WE STARTED A GROUP WITH OUR FRIENDS TO LOOK OUT FOR EACH OTHER. 77 00:04:29,495 --> 00:04:32,630 WOW. THIS THING IS AMAZING. 78 00:04:32,632 --> 00:04:33,831 ( crying ) IT WAS... 79 00:04:33,833 --> 00:04:35,866 IT WAS SIX YEARS, AND... 80 00:04:35,868 --> 00:04:37,835 AND IT ENDED SO SUDDENLY. 81 00:04:37,837 --> 00:04:39,770 YEAH, I KNOW, I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND. 82 00:04:39,772 --> 00:04:43,040 AND I THOUGHT THAT THIS WOULD HELP, BUT IT DOESN'T. 83 00:04:43,042 --> 00:04:44,742 NO, I GET IT. I GET IT. 84 00:04:44,744 --> 00:04:46,410 I WAS WALKING HOME FROM THE BAR, 85 00:04:46,412 --> 00:04:48,979 AND I SEE THIS CHICK SITTING AT THE BUS STOP. 86 00:04:48,981 --> 00:04:51,749 SHE WASN'T THE HOTTEST, BUT SHE WAS OK FOR THAT TIME OF NIGHT. 87 00:04:51,751 --> 00:04:54,385 ANYWAY, WE GET TO TALKING, AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, SHE'S COMING HOME WITH ME. 88 00:04:54,387 --> 00:04:56,387 I JUST GOT TO GET MY STUFF. 89 00:04:56,389 --> 00:05:00,724 THEN I SEE SHE'S GOT THIS BIG PLASTIC BAG WITH ALL HER STUFF IN IT. 90 00:05:00,726 --> 00:05:04,561 SHE'S A VAGABOND. SHE'S PUTTING THE "HO" IN HOMELESS! 91 00:05:04,563 --> 00:05:06,797 BUT I WAKE UP, AND SHE'S CHECKING HER EMAIL. 92 00:05:06,799 --> 00:05:08,565 I MEAN, THAT MAKES SENSE. 93 00:05:08,567 --> 00:05:10,334 I MEAN, WHERE ELSE SHE GONNA CHECK HER EMAIL? 94 00:05:10,336 --> 00:05:11,735 SHE AIN'T GOT NO WIRELESS INTERNET IN THE BUSHES. 95 00:05:11,737 --> 00:05:14,638 WAIT. I THINK I'M GONNA BE SICK. 96 00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:15,739 OKAY. 97 00:05:15,741 --> 00:05:17,341 ( grunts ) 98 00:05:17,343 --> 00:05:18,776 ( panting ) 99 00:05:18,778 --> 00:05:20,811 THAT IS OUR DATERBASE, 100 00:05:20,813 --> 00:05:22,746 AND ANY TIME ONE OF US MEETS A GUY, 101 00:05:22,748 --> 00:05:24,581 WE PUT ALL HIS INFORMATION IN THERE. 102 00:05:24,583 --> 00:05:25,816 OKAY, BUT WHAT FOR? 103 00:05:25,818 --> 00:05:26,950 WE USED TO BE JUST LIKE YOU TWO-- 104 00:05:26,952 --> 00:05:28,786 YOUNG AND INNOCENT. 105 00:05:28,788 --> 00:05:30,821 RIGHT NOW, YOU'RE PREY FOR GUYS LIKE HIM. 106 00:05:30,823 --> 00:05:33,057 HE DOESN'T CARE 'CAUSE THERE'S SO MANY GIRLS IN HOLLYWOOD, 107 00:05:33,059 --> 00:05:34,425 THERE'S NO ACCOUNTABILITY. 108 00:05:34,427 --> 00:05:36,760 BUT ORGANIZED AND TOGETHER, 109 00:05:36,762 --> 00:05:39,763 IDIOTS LIKE HIM, THEY DON'T STAND A CHANCE. 110 00:05:39,765 --> 00:05:42,466 SO IT'S LIKE A TRADE UNION FOR HOT CHICKS? 111 00:05:42,468 --> 00:05:43,801 WE GOT A SMART ONE HERE, WENDY. 112 00:05:43,803 --> 00:05:45,402 EXACTLY. GIVE IT A TRY. 113 00:05:45,404 --> 00:05:47,371 GO OUT THERE RIGHT NOW AND DO A DOUBLE ACT. 114 00:05:47,373 --> 00:05:49,006 SEE WHAT HAPPENS. OH, I DON'T KNOW. 115 00:05:49,008 --> 00:05:51,041 GO AHEAD, GO. 116 00:05:51,043 --> 00:05:53,844 WHAT ABOUT YOU, BRO? WHAT HAPPENED WITH THAT CHICK? DUDE, SHE WAS FINE. 117 00:05:53,846 --> 00:05:56,680 OHH. YEAH, MAN, I WAS OUTSIDE WITH HER AND HER FRIEND, RIGHT? 118 00:05:56,682 --> 00:05:58,015 OH, NO, THE BUSTED ONE? 119 00:05:58,017 --> 00:05:59,983 YEAH, YEAH, THE BUSTED ONE. 120 00:05:59,985 --> 00:06:04,355 AND, UM, YOU KNOW, SHE WAS GETTING A TEXT FROM SOME DUDE, 121 00:06:04,357 --> 00:06:05,856 AND THEN SHE JUST BROKE OUT, 122 00:06:05,858 --> 00:06:07,925 AND I WAS THERE WITH THE FRIEND, 123 00:06:07,927 --> 00:06:09,660 AND SHE SAID SHE LIVED AROUND THE CORNER, AND I WAS... 124 00:06:09,662 --> 00:06:10,994 REALLY? 125 00:06:10,996 --> 00:06:12,863 YEAH, MAN, I WAS TORE UP DRUNK, MAN. 126 00:06:12,865 --> 00:06:14,698 I SAID FUCK IT. 127 00:06:14,700 --> 00:06:18,602 YEAH, MAN, I MEAN, SHE DID HAVE NICE TITS, THOUGH. 128 00:06:18,604 --> 00:06:21,438 BRO, WE HAVE GOT TO DO BETTER. 129 00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:22,906 ( belches ) 130 00:06:22,908 --> 00:06:24,708 HEY, BRO, WHEN YOU TAKE THINGIE HOME, 131 00:06:24,710 --> 00:06:26,810 CAN YOU TAKE THIS ONE HOME, TOO? MAYBE HIT A DRIVE-THRU. 132 00:06:26,812 --> 00:06:29,446 OH, YEAH, MAN, I GOT YOU, BUT WE LEAVING NOW. 133 00:06:29,448 --> 00:06:30,647 OH, HEY, NICE TO MEET YOU. 134 00:06:30,649 --> 00:06:32,383 HOPE EVERYTHING WORKS OUT OKAY. 135 00:06:32,385 --> 00:06:34,518 HEY. HI. 136 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:36,687 YEAH, MAN, I GOTTA TAKE THESE HOS HOME, MAN. 137 00:06:36,689 --> 00:06:39,990 AW, SHIT! THAT'S MY NEIGHBOR, JOHNNY EYELASH, 138 00:06:39,992 --> 00:06:42,126 COMING HOME WITH TWO BOMB CHICKS RIGHT NOW. 139 00:06:42,128 --> 00:06:45,095 HE GOT MORE GAME THAN A PHEASANT HUNT. LET'S GO. 140 00:06:45,097 --> 00:06:46,930 HE GONNA CLOWN ME WHEN HE SEES ME WITH THESE GIRLS. 141 00:06:46,932 --> 00:06:49,933 COOL OUT. SQUEEZE THAT. WE GONNA GO IN A SECOND. 142 00:06:55,607 --> 00:06:59,710 YOU'VE SEEN THE ASS, NOW FLASH THE CASH. 143 00:06:59,712 --> 00:07:01,545 FOUR TITTIES AND THE PRICE OF ONE. 144 00:07:01,547 --> 00:07:04,047 DIG DEEP, GENTLEMEN, DIG REAL DEEP. 145 00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:06,784 ♪ 146 00:07:14,526 --> 00:07:16,894 ♪ CAN YOU DO IT? 147 00:07:16,896 --> 00:07:19,463 ♪ DO IT 148 00:07:19,465 --> 00:07:20,764 ♪ CAN YOU DO IT? 149 00:07:20,766 --> 00:07:21,999 ♪ DO IT 150 00:07:23,468 --> 00:07:25,803 ♪ CAN YOU DO IT? 151 00:07:25,805 --> 00:07:28,439 ♪ I, I DON'T THINK YOU CAN 152 00:07:31,609 --> 00:07:33,911 YOU WERE LATE FOR WORK A MINUTE AGO. YEAH. 153 00:07:33,913 --> 00:07:35,646 WHAT'S ALL THIS CLOWNING BUSINESS? 154 00:07:35,648 --> 00:07:37,080 HEY, MAN, I'M GONNA CALL YOU BACK, MAN. 155 00:07:37,082 --> 00:07:39,650 IS THIS YOUR HOUSE OR YOUR PARENTS' HOUSE? 156 00:07:39,652 --> 00:07:41,485 WE CAN ALL LEAVE NOW, 157 00:07:41,487 --> 00:07:43,954 OR I CAN PULL THE FUCKING FIRE ALARM ON MY WAY OUT. 158 00:07:43,956 --> 00:07:46,790 ALL RIGHT, FINE. WOULD YOU ALL CHILL OUT? 159 00:07:46,792 --> 00:07:48,959 RELAX, MAN. YOU ALL AIN'T GOT NOWHERE TO BE? 160 00:07:48,961 --> 00:07:50,527 ( screaming ) 161 00:07:50,529 --> 00:07:52,896 OH, MY GOD! WE GOT TWENTIES! 162 00:07:52,898 --> 00:07:54,965 I WANT TO JOIN YOUR CLUB. I WANT TO JOIN YOUR CLUB. 163 00:07:54,967 --> 00:07:56,467 ME TOO! WHAT'S IT CALLED? 164 00:07:56,469 --> 00:07:58,635 THE NAME IS T.O.B. T.O.B.? 165 00:07:58,637 --> 00:08:00,170 JUST COME ON SATURDAY, AND YOU'LL SEE. 166 00:08:00,172 --> 00:08:01,872 OKAY. 167 00:08:01,874 --> 00:08:03,907 WHERE'S YOUR CRAP CAR? MY HEAD HURTS. 168 00:08:03,909 --> 00:08:05,209 I'M REALLY HUNGRY. 169 00:08:05,211 --> 00:08:06,610 DO YOU HAVE AN ASPIRIN? 170 00:08:06,612 --> 00:08:08,679 MY MOUTH TASTES LIKE ASS. 171 00:08:08,681 --> 00:08:10,948 I FUCKING HATE THAT GUY. 172 00:08:10,950 --> 00:08:13,717 JUST GIVE YOUR APPLE, TELL HER SHE'S PRETTY, YOU'LL BE FINE. 173 00:08:13,719 --> 00:08:15,752 WHOA, THOSE CHICKS ARE BUSTED. 174 00:08:15,754 --> 00:08:19,256 GIVES A WHOLE NEW MEANING TO THE PHRASE "WALK OF SHAME," HUH? 175 00:08:20,191 --> 00:08:22,559 HEY, LADIES. YEAH. 176 00:08:22,561 --> 00:08:24,161 MAX. WHAT'S UP, MAN? 177 00:08:24,163 --> 00:08:25,896 GOT YOUR HANDS FULL, HUH, LOVERBOY? 178 00:08:25,898 --> 00:08:28,031 YEAH. HEY, LATER, MAN. 179 00:08:28,033 --> 00:08:32,703 HERE, UH, THIS GET YOU, UM, WHEREVER YOU'RE GOING. 180 00:08:32,705 --> 00:08:35,672 FIVE BUCKS? REALLY? 181 00:08:35,674 --> 00:08:38,609 YEAH. UH, OKAY. HOW ABOUT THIS? HERE. 182 00:08:38,611 --> 00:08:42,145 VIENNA SAUSAGES? REALLY? 183 00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:44,748 UM, YEAH. THEY'RE NON-PERISHABLE. 184 00:08:44,750 --> 00:08:46,617 NO, NO, I JUST MEAN-- 185 00:08:46,619 --> 00:08:47,784 FUCK YOU! 186 00:08:47,786 --> 00:08:49,586 ALL RIGHT. UH, EMAIL ME. 187 00:08:49,588 --> 00:08:50,654 ( door slams ) 188 00:08:57,729 --> 00:08:58,795 ( horn honks ) 189 00:09:02,867 --> 00:09:04,568 WHOO! 190 00:09:21,786 --> 00:09:24,087 ( indistinct singing ) 191 00:09:39,837 --> 00:09:41,305 FUCK YOU GUYS! 192 00:09:41,307 --> 00:09:42,873 ASSHOLES! 193 00:09:54,352 --> 00:09:56,687 WHAT THE FUCK'S UP WITH YOU HAIR TODAY? 194 00:09:56,689 --> 00:09:58,689 WHY YOU ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT MY SHIT, MAN? JUST TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED EARLIER. 195 00:09:58,691 --> 00:10:00,324 OH, ANYWAY, SO, THESE TWO CHICKS COME IN, RIGHT? 196 00:10:00,326 --> 00:10:02,326 FUCKIN' SMOKIN'. BIG FAKE TITS, YOU KNOW. 197 00:10:02,328 --> 00:10:07,064 AND, UH, YOU KNOW, I'M BUSY, BUT... HOW CAN I RESIST? 198 00:10:07,066 --> 00:10:10,233 BUT AS SOON AS THEY LEFT, I GET THIS FEELING I'VE BEEN CHUMPED. 199 00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:13,303 YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? LIKE THEY'RE TRYING TO PUT ONE OVER ON ME. 200 00:10:13,305 --> 00:10:15,672 LIKE THEY'RE NOT REALLY INTO ME, LIKE THEY'RE PRETENDING. 201 00:10:15,674 --> 00:10:17,941 YEAH. 202 00:10:17,943 --> 00:10:19,676 SO, LATER, I'M PRINTING UP THE T-SHIRTS, 203 00:10:19,678 --> 00:10:20,877 IT ALL STARTS TO MAKE SENSE. 204 00:10:20,879 --> 00:10:22,312 "WE HOLD THESE TRUTHS TO BE SELF-EVIDENT 205 00:10:22,314 --> 00:10:25,148 THAT ALL MEN ARE CREATED ASSHOLES"? 206 00:10:25,150 --> 00:10:26,883 I MEAN, IT'S LIKE THEY CAN SEE RIGHT THROUGH US. 207 00:10:26,885 --> 00:10:28,218 NOW THEY HAVE WHAT? MAN-HATING CLUBS? 208 00:10:28,220 --> 00:10:29,786 OH, MY GOD! 209 00:10:29,788 --> 00:10:31,321 OH, GEE! 210 00:10:31,323 --> 00:10:33,357 JESUS, WATCH WHERE THE FUCK YOU'RE GOING! 211 00:10:33,359 --> 00:10:35,225 MAN, I'M SO SORRY, BROTHER. ARE YOU OKAY, MAN? 212 00:10:35,227 --> 00:10:36,960 NO, I'M NOT OKAY. 213 00:10:36,962 --> 00:10:38,962 ( sniffs ) SMELLS DANK IN THERE, MAN. 214 00:10:38,964 --> 00:10:40,697 I GOT YOU. 215 00:10:42,867 --> 00:10:46,737 WE COOL? WHAT IS THIS, A FUCKING BAG OF WEED? ARE YOU KIDDING? 216 00:10:46,739 --> 00:10:48,672 HOW ABOUT YOU CALL AN AMBULANCE? NO NEED TO CONCERN THE AUTHORITIES. 217 00:10:48,674 --> 00:10:50,374 THAT'S NEARLY HALF AN OUNCE. 218 00:10:50,376 --> 00:10:52,075 COME ON, MAN, WHAT CAN I DO? LET'S MAKE THIS RIGHT. 219 00:10:52,077 --> 00:10:53,977 HOW ABOUT YOU LET HER COME RUB IT BETTER? 220 00:10:53,979 --> 00:10:55,178 DO ME A FAVOR... 221 00:10:55,180 --> 00:10:56,913 DUDE, HE IS ALWAYS WITH THE BOMB CHICKS. 222 00:10:56,915 --> 00:10:59,116 MAYBE WE CAN GET HIM TO INTRODUCE US TO SOME. 223 00:10:59,118 --> 00:11:01,652 SHIT, OR MAYBE SHOW US EVEN HOW HE GET SOME OF THOSE CHICKS. 224 00:11:01,654 --> 00:11:02,986 YEAH, I'M DOWN. 225 00:11:02,988 --> 00:11:04,988 AAH. 226 00:11:04,990 --> 00:11:06,256 WHERE DOES IT HURT? 227 00:11:06,258 --> 00:11:07,724 IT'S RIGHT OVER HERE. YEAH. 228 00:11:07,726 --> 00:11:10,160 UH, HEY, MAN, I KNOW HOW YOU CAN HELP US OUT. 229 00:11:10,162 --> 00:11:11,928 ALL RIGHT, NAME IT. 230 00:11:11,930 --> 00:11:15,098 WHY DON'T YOU TEACH US HOW TO GET WITH CHICKS LIKE THAT? 231 00:11:15,100 --> 00:11:16,833 SERIOUSLY? YEAH. 232 00:11:16,835 --> 00:11:18,735 ALL RIGHT. 233 00:11:18,737 --> 00:11:20,737 WHY DON'T YOU GUYS COME BY LATER, AND WE'LL FIGURE IT OUT. 234 00:11:20,739 --> 00:11:22,372 Max: AND JUST LIKE THAT, 235 00:11:22,374 --> 00:11:24,841 JOHNNY EYELASH AGREED TO BE OUR DRILL INSTRUCTOR. 236 00:11:24,843 --> 00:11:26,710 COME ON, BABY. WHICH IS GOOD... 237 00:11:26,712 --> 00:11:28,145 MAN, YOUR ASS AIN'T EVEN HURT, MAN. 238 00:11:28,147 --> 00:11:29,446 ...BECAUSE ACROSS TOWN... 239 00:11:29,448 --> 00:11:32,015 I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE FEMALES 240 00:11:32,017 --> 00:11:34,384 OF THE T.O.B. OF AMERICA 241 00:11:34,386 --> 00:11:37,921 AND TO THE METHODS BY WHICH IT STANDS, 242 00:11:37,923 --> 00:11:41,058 WITH MANIPULATION, WITH HOT BODS, 243 00:11:41,060 --> 00:11:42,759 IRRESISTIBLE, 244 00:11:42,761 --> 00:11:45,429 WITH LUXURY FOR JUST US, 245 00:11:45,431 --> 00:11:47,164 THAT'S ALL! 246 00:11:47,166 --> 00:11:49,232 ( cheering ) 247 00:11:52,036 --> 00:11:54,304 OKAY, FIRST, WELCOME, EVERYONE, 248 00:11:54,306 --> 00:11:56,907 AND A SPECIAL HELLO TO OUR NEW PROSPECTS, 249 00:11:56,909 --> 00:12:00,243 YVONNE AND COURTNEY. Women: HI. 250 00:12:00,245 --> 00:12:03,180 WE REALLY HOPE THAT YOU'RE GONNA LIKE WHAT WE'RE ABOUT. 251 00:12:03,182 --> 00:12:07,451 AND A BIG KISS TO LYRIC, WHO, AS OF LAST WEEK, 252 00:12:07,453 --> 00:12:09,052 IS A FULL TASSEL SISTER. 253 00:12:09,054 --> 00:12:12,456 ( cheering ) 254 00:12:12,458 --> 00:12:14,157 YEAH! 255 00:12:14,159 --> 00:12:16,293 SO, WHAT? YOU GUYS CAN'T GET GIRLFRIENDS? 256 00:12:16,295 --> 00:12:19,029 WE DON'T WANT GIRLFRIENDS. WE WANT TO BANG HOT CHICKS LIKE YOU. 257 00:12:19,031 --> 00:12:20,363 ALL RIGHT, I'M LISTENIN'. 258 00:12:20,365 --> 00:12:22,332 AND PLUS, MAN, WE MADE A PACT IN HIGH SCHOOL. 259 00:12:22,334 --> 00:12:23,867 YEAH, WHEN WE WERE 15. 260 00:12:24,802 --> 00:12:28,105 OH, OHH, MY GOD. HO. 261 00:12:28,107 --> 00:12:31,274 MAN, WHEN WE GET OLDER, WE GONNA BANG CHICKS LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME. 262 00:12:31,276 --> 00:12:33,343 DEFINITELY. OH. 263 00:12:36,114 --> 00:12:38,415 I MEAN, WE DO OKAY WITH THE AVERAGE CHICKS, 264 00:12:38,417 --> 00:12:41,918 BUT THOSE, LIKE, SUPER-DUPER BOMB HOLLYWOOD CHICKS, MAN... 265 00:12:41,920 --> 00:12:43,353 MAN, THEY DON'T EVEN FUCK WITH US. 266 00:12:43,355 --> 00:12:44,387 YEAH, THEY IGNORE US, MAN. 267 00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:45,889 OR MAKE JOKES. 268 00:12:45,891 --> 00:12:47,157 AND IT'S NOT GETTING ANY EASIER, MAN. 269 00:12:47,159 --> 00:12:48,425 TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. 270 00:12:52,530 --> 00:12:54,798 T.O.B. CLUB. 271 00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:56,032 I'VE HEARD ABOUT THIS. 272 00:12:56,034 --> 00:12:59,770 SEE, WOMEN ARE NATURALLY MORE DEVIOUS, 273 00:12:59,772 --> 00:13:01,805 BUT IT'S THAT BITCHINESS THAT USUALLY DIVIDES THEM 274 00:13:01,807 --> 00:13:03,073 AND GIVES US GUY AN ANGLE. 275 00:13:03,075 --> 00:13:04,407 DUDE, YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE TITS 276 00:13:04,409 --> 00:13:06,376 ON THE GIRLS THAT LEFT THAT WITH ME. 277 00:13:06,378 --> 00:13:08,278 NOW THEY'RE GETTING ORGANIZED. 278 00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:10,080 THIS DOESN'T BODE WELL. 279 00:13:10,082 --> 00:13:12,282 REGULAR GUYS LIKE YOU DON'T STAND A CHANCE. 280 00:13:12,284 --> 00:13:13,817 THAT'S WHY WE NEED YOUR HELP. 281 00:13:13,819 --> 00:13:15,252 DUDE, COME ON, JUST PASS ON YOUR WISDOM. 282 00:13:15,254 --> 00:13:16,419 YOU GOTTA HELP US OUT, MAN. 283 00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:17,788 WHAT THE FUCK DOES "BODE" MEAN? 284 00:13:17,790 --> 00:13:19,222 LOOK AT THESE FREAKS, COME ON. 285 00:13:19,224 --> 00:13:21,424 ALL RIGHT, BOYS, RELAX, JESUS. 286 00:13:23,828 --> 00:13:25,362 ALL RIGHT, LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING 287 00:13:25,364 --> 00:13:28,498 ABOUT THESE HOT CHICKS YOU'RE SO SCARED OF. 288 00:13:34,305 --> 00:13:37,240 ALL RIGHT, BOYS. 289 00:13:37,242 --> 00:13:40,510 YOUR AVERAGE HOLLYWOOD BABE. 290 00:13:40,512 --> 00:13:41,878 NICE, RIGHT? 291 00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:44,281 YOU TAKE AWAY THE HAIR... 292 00:13:45,216 --> 00:13:46,483 THE IMPLANTS... 293 00:13:47,418 --> 00:13:49,252 THE LIPO... 294 00:13:49,254 --> 00:13:52,022 THE STRAPPY SHOES, CUTE LITTLE DRESS, 295 00:13:52,024 --> 00:13:57,294 OH, AND THE MAKEUP... 296 00:13:57,296 --> 00:13:59,563 AND THIS IS WHAT YOU'RE LEFT WITH. 297 00:13:59,565 --> 00:14:01,298 NOT PARTICULARLY ATTRACTIVE. 298 00:14:01,300 --> 00:14:04,301 NOT THAT SMART, NOT THAT INTERESTING-- 299 00:14:04,303 --> 00:14:06,436 BASICALLY SOMEONE IN YOUR OWN LEAGUE. 300 00:14:08,172 --> 00:14:10,073 THAT'S THE WAY YOU GOTTA THINK ABOUT 'EM, GUYS. 301 00:14:10,075 --> 00:14:11,441 I SWEAR TO GOD, BEFORE LONG, 302 00:14:11,443 --> 00:14:13,243 YOU'LL BE A GODDAMN HUMAN SHISH KABOB. 303 00:14:13,245 --> 00:14:15,011 DUDE, THAT'S HARSH. 304 00:14:15,013 --> 00:14:16,179 I SWEAR, IT'S AS IF YOU HATE THEM. 305 00:14:16,181 --> 00:14:18,481 MAN, I DON'T HATE 'EM... 306 00:14:18,483 --> 00:14:21,218 ANY MORE THAN A LION HATES A GAZELLE. 307 00:14:23,921 --> 00:14:25,222 BUT I HAD MY HEART BROKEN ONCE... 308 00:14:25,224 --> 00:14:26,356 COME ON, WEN, PLEASE! 309 00:14:26,358 --> 00:14:27,357 IT'S OVER. 310 00:14:27,359 --> 00:14:29,092 SMASHED INTO LITTLE PIECES. 311 00:14:29,094 --> 00:14:30,493 WE CAN MAKE THIS WORK. 312 00:14:30,495 --> 00:14:32,863 ALL I NEED IS A CHANCE. DON'T DO THIS. 313 00:14:32,865 --> 00:14:34,531 BUT I PULLED MYSELF TOGETHER. 314 00:14:34,533 --> 00:14:37,000 AND NOW, I JUST DON'T GIVE A SHIT. 315 00:14:37,002 --> 00:14:38,935 COME ON, DON'T GO, MAN. 316 00:14:38,937 --> 00:14:41,438 I LOVE YOU, WENDY. 317 00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:44,407 OKAY, COOL. WHY DO YOU HAVE A LITTLE GIRL'S DOLL? 318 00:14:44,409 --> 00:14:45,976 WHO THE FUCK CARES? 319 00:14:45,978 --> 00:14:47,210 WILL YOU PLEASE HELP US? 320 00:14:47,212 --> 00:14:49,412 HEY, LOOK, I'LL HELP YOU GUYS, 321 00:14:49,414 --> 00:14:50,947 BUT YOU GOTTA DO WHAT I SAY 322 00:14:50,949 --> 00:14:52,582 EXACTLY WHEN I TELL YOU TO DO IT, 323 00:14:52,584 --> 00:14:54,951 NO QUESTIONS ASKED, OR I'M OUT. 324 00:14:54,953 --> 00:14:57,220 ALL RIGHT, COME BACK NEXT WEEK AND BRING YOUR LAPTOPS. 325 00:14:57,222 --> 00:14:59,256 OH, WAIT, I DON'T GOT A LAPTOP, MAN. 326 00:14:59,258 --> 00:15:01,291 I STILL GOT THAT DIALUP SHIT, THAT... ( imitates dialup ) 327 00:15:01,293 --> 00:15:03,126 JESUS, CHRIST, YOU GOT A LAPTOP? YES. 328 00:15:03,128 --> 00:15:05,028 YOU GOT A LAPTOP? YEAH, IT'S REALLY NICE. 329 00:15:05,030 --> 00:15:06,096 ALL RIGHT, WELL, GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE. 330 00:15:06,098 --> 00:15:07,364 SO I CAN SHARE OF YOURS, HUH? 331 00:15:07,366 --> 00:15:08,632 NO, SHARE OFF HIS, DUDE, I GOT A DELL. 332 00:15:08,634 --> 00:15:10,100 GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! 333 00:15:10,102 --> 00:15:11,568 SO, TO BUSINESS... 334 00:15:11,570 --> 00:15:13,570 GRETCHEN, HOW'S YOUR REFINANCE GOING? 335 00:15:13,572 --> 00:15:15,438 OKAY, WELL, THE GUY CAME OVER THE OTHER DAY 336 00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:18,508 AND TOOK ME TO LUNCH, BUT WE GOT A LITTLE TOO DRUNK. 337 00:15:18,510 --> 00:15:19,609 WE DIDN'T FINISH THE PAPERWORK. 338 00:15:19,611 --> 00:15:21,244 Women: GRETCHEN! 339 00:15:21,246 --> 00:15:22,946 I KNOW, BUT DON'T WORRY. I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING. 340 00:15:22,948 --> 00:15:25,382 OKAY, LADIES, NOT THIS DATERBASE ONLY WORKS 341 00:15:25,384 --> 00:15:26,983 IF WE KEEP IT UPDATED. 342 00:15:26,985 --> 00:15:28,618 SO DID ANYBODY HAVE A DATE THIS WEEK? 343 00:15:28,620 --> 00:15:29,986 I MET A GUY. 344 00:15:29,988 --> 00:15:32,155 WHAT WAS HIS NAME? ADEN. 345 00:15:32,157 --> 00:15:33,957 ISN'T THAT YOUR OTHER BOYFRIEND'S BEST FRIEND? 346 00:15:33,959 --> 00:15:35,425 YEAH, HE HIT ON ME YESTERDAY 347 00:15:35,427 --> 00:15:37,627 JUST 'CAUSE I WAS SUNBATHING TOPLESS BY HIS POOL. 348 00:15:37,629 --> 00:15:39,496 UHH, SUCH A PIG. I KNOW. 349 00:15:39,498 --> 00:15:42,232 YOU KNOW WHAT? WE WILL USE THAT AGAINST HIM. 350 00:15:42,234 --> 00:15:44,534 ANYONE ELSE? YES, CHANEL? 351 00:15:44,536 --> 00:15:47,337 THERE IS A BIG, HUGE HAIR SPIDER. 352 00:15:47,339 --> 00:15:51,374 IT CRAWLED INTO MY CLOSET, AND I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO FIND IT. 353 00:15:51,376 --> 00:15:53,977 I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO GO INTO MY CLOSET FOR, LIKE, A WEEK. 354 00:15:53,979 --> 00:15:57,681 I'VE BEEN BUYING ALL OF MY CLOTHES BRAND-NEW BECAUSE I'M SCARED OF IT. 355 00:15:57,683 --> 00:15:58,982 THAT'S EASY, I'LL SEND ONCH. 356 00:15:58,984 --> 00:16:00,383 ONCH! 357 00:16:00,385 --> 00:16:02,185 YES, WENDY? 358 00:16:02,187 --> 00:16:03,687 GO! NOW? 359 00:16:03,689 --> 00:16:06,289 NO. TOMORROW. GO. 360 00:16:06,291 --> 00:16:08,391 HOW ABOUT OUR NEW GIRLS? ANYTHING YOU GIRLS NEED? 361 00:16:08,393 --> 00:16:09,426 LIKE WHAT? 362 00:16:09,428 --> 00:16:11,027 ANYTHING? 363 00:16:11,029 --> 00:16:14,197 UM, OKAY, WELL, MY SHOWER KEEPS DRIPPING, 364 00:16:14,199 --> 00:16:15,699 AND IT'S KIND OF GROWING MOLD IN THERE. 365 00:16:15,701 --> 00:16:17,534 I MEAN, I CLEAN IT, BUT-- 366 00:16:17,536 --> 00:16:18,702 I'LL SEND ONCH OVER. 367 00:16:18,704 --> 00:16:20,170 HOW MUCH IS THAT GONNA COST? 368 00:16:20,172 --> 00:16:23,039 SWEETIE, WE JUST SAY "OUR HOT GIRLFRIEND" 369 00:16:23,041 --> 00:16:25,075 AND "SHOWER" IN THE SAME SENTENCE. 370 00:16:25,077 --> 00:16:27,143 COOL, THANK YOU. 371 00:16:27,145 --> 00:16:28,178 AND WHAT ABOUT YOU, YVONNE? 372 00:16:28,180 --> 00:16:30,413 I'M COOL. 373 00:16:30,415 --> 00:16:31,448 REALLY? 374 00:16:31,450 --> 00:16:33,016 I THINK SO. 375 00:16:33,018 --> 00:16:35,585 I MEAN, THIS ALL SEEMS A BIT COLD-HEARTED. 376 00:16:35,587 --> 00:16:38,355 YOU LIKE TO FUCK AND PARTY, DON'T YOU? 377 00:16:38,357 --> 00:16:40,623 YEAH! A LOT. 378 00:16:40,625 --> 00:16:42,659 ( laughter ) 379 00:16:42,661 --> 00:16:44,194 THOSE ARE MARKETABLE SKILLS. 380 00:16:44,196 --> 00:16:46,196 AND COMPLETELY TAX-FREE, SWEETIE. 381 00:16:46,198 --> 00:16:49,132 I NEVER REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT IT LIKE THAT. 382 00:16:49,134 --> 00:16:51,234 I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT. 383 00:16:53,170 --> 00:16:56,339 THANKS, JOHNNY. BYE, SARAH. 384 00:16:56,341 --> 00:16:57,540 I'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK, ALL RIGHT. 385 00:16:58,609 --> 00:17:00,210 DUDE, YOU ARE LIKE THE KING. 386 00:17:00,212 --> 00:17:01,211 IT'S JUST WORK. 387 00:17:01,213 --> 00:17:02,345 WORK? WHAT DO YOU DO? 388 00:17:02,347 --> 00:17:03,613 I'M IN PHARMACEUTICAL SALES. 389 00:17:03,615 --> 00:17:05,782 YOU A DRUG DEALER? NO, I'M A SALES REP, 390 00:17:05,784 --> 00:17:08,184 FOR, AMONG OTHER THINGS, KELOCOTE. 391 00:17:08,186 --> 00:17:10,487 IT'S AN OINTMENT THAT WOMEN USE AFTER THEY GET BOOB JOBS. 392 00:17:10,489 --> 00:17:12,122 IT HEALS THE SCAR TISSUE. 393 00:17:12,124 --> 00:17:14,357 WAIT A MINUTE, YOU GET PAID TO RUB CREAM 394 00:17:14,359 --> 00:17:15,625 ON WOMEN'S TITTIES, YO? 395 00:17:15,627 --> 00:17:18,228 YEAH. I REALLY AM A BOOB INSPECTOR. 396 00:17:18,230 --> 00:17:19,763 OH, MY GOD. 397 00:17:19,765 --> 00:17:22,365 COME ON IN, GUYS. DAMN. 398 00:17:22,367 --> 00:17:23,800 WHAT KIND OF BENEFITS A JOB LIKE THAT GOT? 399 00:17:23,802 --> 00:17:25,668 THAT'S TIGHT. HA. 400 00:17:30,708 --> 00:17:34,077 AH, MAN, FLING, MAN, THEY GOT SOME SWEET PUSSY ON HERE. 401 00:17:34,079 --> 00:17:36,546 YEAH, BUT THAT'S NOT THE DEAL. 402 00:17:36,548 --> 00:17:38,248 WE COULD HAVE DONE THIS OURSELVES. 403 00:17:38,250 --> 00:17:40,250 NO, DUMBSHIT. THESE ONLINE DATING SITES 404 00:17:40,252 --> 00:17:41,684 ARE A GREAT WAY TO LEARN ABOUT WOMEN 405 00:17:41,686 --> 00:17:42,752 AND THE GAMES THEY PLAY. 406 00:17:42,754 --> 00:17:44,821 ( water splashing ) 407 00:17:50,661 --> 00:17:52,695 ( whistling ) 408 00:17:59,403 --> 00:18:01,337 HEY, GIRLS. LOOK WHAT I GOT. 409 00:18:01,339 --> 00:18:02,405 YAY, DRINKS! 410 00:18:02,407 --> 00:18:04,240 OHH! 411 00:18:04,242 --> 00:18:05,809 PUT SOME CLOTHES ON! 412 00:18:05,811 --> 00:18:09,646 I HATE TAN LINES! IT'S TOO NICE OUT HERE! 413 00:18:11,682 --> 00:18:14,517 "DOGS ARE CONTROLLED BY THEIR BASEST MOTIVES. 414 00:18:14,519 --> 00:18:17,153 EAT, SLEEP, AND COPULATE." 415 00:18:17,155 --> 00:18:18,688 DOES THAT SOUND FAMILIAR? 416 00:18:18,690 --> 00:18:21,424 THEY EVEN CALL THEMSELVES DOGS. 417 00:18:21,426 --> 00:18:22,826 IT'S SO PATHETIC. 418 00:18:22,828 --> 00:18:24,294 THEY WOULD SPEND THEIR WHOLE LIFE-- 419 00:18:24,296 --> 00:18:26,362 CAR, JOB, AND BEING-- 420 00:18:26,364 --> 00:18:28,431 JUST TRYING TO SQUIRT. 421 00:18:28,433 --> 00:18:30,500 ( laughing ) 422 00:18:32,570 --> 00:18:34,104 YEAH, BUT LOOK AT THIS SHIT. 423 00:18:34,106 --> 00:18:37,307 "I LIKE CUDDLING, SOFT KISSES, ANIMALS, 424 00:18:37,309 --> 00:18:40,577 "WALKS ON THE BEACH, DINING, A NICE MAN, 425 00:18:40,579 --> 00:18:42,745 SINCERE, KIND"? 426 00:18:42,747 --> 00:18:44,314 THIS SHIT MAKES ME SICK. 427 00:18:44,316 --> 00:18:46,349 WHY? SOME OF THAT STUFF IS CUTE. 428 00:18:46,351 --> 00:18:48,585 OKAY, WINETASTING. 429 00:18:48,587 --> 00:18:50,453 THAT MEANS SHE LIKES TO GET FUCKED UP. 430 00:18:50,455 --> 00:18:54,324 DINING. THAT MEANS YOU TAKE HER OUT TO DINNER. 431 00:18:54,326 --> 00:18:56,159 WHAT, VACATIONS? 432 00:18:56,161 --> 00:18:58,695 YOU THINK SHE'S PAYING FOR THESE VACATIONS? 433 00:18:58,697 --> 00:19:00,530 DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE YOUNGER 434 00:19:00,532 --> 00:19:02,665 AND YOU THOUGHT THAT IF YOU WERE REALLY NICE TO A GUY 435 00:19:02,667 --> 00:19:04,234 HE'D BE REALLY NICE BACK? 436 00:19:04,236 --> 00:19:07,604 YES. OH, MY GOD, I DID EVERYTHING FOR HIM. 437 00:19:07,606 --> 00:19:10,173 I MEAN, I REALLY TREATED HIM WELL. 438 00:19:10,175 --> 00:19:11,474 HOW'D THAT WORK OUT FOR YOU? 439 00:19:11,476 --> 00:19:14,477 HE SLEPT WITH MY SISTER. AND MY BEST FRIEND. 440 00:19:14,479 --> 00:19:15,612 HEY, DUDE, CHECK OUT THE FRIEND. 441 00:19:15,614 --> 00:19:16,679 YEAH, DUDE, SHE'S FINE. 442 00:19:16,681 --> 00:19:18,248 Max: YEAH, SHE IS BOMB. 443 00:19:18,250 --> 00:19:19,916 BUT TAKE A CLOSE LOOK AT ALL THESE PHOTOS. 444 00:19:19,918 --> 00:19:21,351 DO YOU NOTICE ANYTHING? 445 00:19:21,353 --> 00:19:22,619 A LOT OF THEM AREN'T FULL BODY SHOTS. 446 00:19:22,621 --> 00:19:24,187 RIGHT. 447 00:19:24,189 --> 00:19:26,222 THEY'RE TAKEN FROM HIGH ANGLES, TOO. 448 00:19:26,224 --> 00:19:28,224 YEAH, LOTS OF THEM ARE WEARING BABY DOLL DRESSES. 449 00:19:28,226 --> 00:19:29,492 YEAH, LOOK AT THAT. 450 00:19:29,494 --> 00:19:31,227 WHY DO WOMEN WEAR BABY DOLL DRESSES? 451 00:19:31,229 --> 00:19:33,530 BECAUSE IT HIDES THEIR FAT ASSES. 452 00:19:33,532 --> 00:19:35,231 SEE, ALL THESE PICTURES, 453 00:19:35,233 --> 00:19:36,599 THEY'RE ALL TRYING TO TRICK YOU IN SOME WAY. 454 00:19:36,601 --> 00:19:37,934 THE PERSONAL AD IS A GREAT WAY 455 00:19:37,936 --> 00:19:39,669 TO UNDERSTAND THE TRUE NATURE OF WOMEN. 456 00:19:39,671 --> 00:19:41,204 YOU'RE BEGINNING TO GET AN IDEA 457 00:19:41,206 --> 00:19:43,540 OF HOW DECEITFUL THE AVERAGE GIRL IS. 458 00:19:45,342 --> 00:19:47,877 WE DON'T CARE ABOUT THE AVERAGE GIRLS. 459 00:19:47,879 --> 00:19:49,913 I WANT YOU TO SEPARATE OUT ALL THE HOTTIES, 460 00:19:49,915 --> 00:19:51,648 AND THAT'S WHO WE NEED TO FOCUS ON. 461 00:19:51,650 --> 00:19:53,816 THE TRICK IS TO GET THEM ALL EXCITED, 462 00:19:53,818 --> 00:19:55,718 BUT IF YOU WANT TO SEE THEM AGAIN, 463 00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:57,487 LEAVE THEM WANTING MORE. 464 00:19:57,489 --> 00:19:59,522 REALLY? OH, YEAH. 465 00:19:59,524 --> 00:20:02,392 OKAY, THE NEXT TIME YOU BRING A GUY HOME, 466 00:20:02,394 --> 00:20:03,893 I WANT YOU TO GET OFF FOR HIM. 467 00:20:03,895 --> 00:20:07,263 I MEAN, MAKE A HUGE SHOW. PORN-STYLE. 468 00:20:07,265 --> 00:20:09,532 OHH! YEAH! 469 00:20:09,534 --> 00:20:11,401 SEXY! 470 00:20:11,403 --> 00:20:12,502 THAT'S IT! 471 00:20:12,504 --> 00:20:14,804 THANK YOU. 472 00:20:14,806 --> 00:20:16,739 AND THEN HE'LL BE SO EXCITED. 473 00:20:16,741 --> 00:20:18,241 OHH, OHH! 474 00:20:18,243 --> 00:20:19,576 BUT DON'T LET HIM PUT IT IN. 475 00:20:19,578 --> 00:20:21,544 AND THEN WHEN YOU'RE DONE, 476 00:20:21,546 --> 00:20:22,779 LEAVE WITHOUT GIVING YOUR NUMBER. 477 00:20:22,781 --> 00:20:24,681 THAT WORKS? OF COURSE. 478 00:20:24,683 --> 00:20:26,683 THE REJECTION PLAYS ON THEIR INSECURITIES, 479 00:20:26,685 --> 00:20:31,254 AND WE ALL KNOW THAT ALL MEN REALLY CARE ABOUT IS TITS AND ASS. 480 00:20:31,256 --> 00:20:34,891 THANK YOU. HA HA HA! 481 00:20:34,893 --> 00:20:38,628 THEY WOULD SIT AROUND OGLING US ALL DAY LONG IF THEY COULD. 482 00:20:38,630 --> 00:20:40,830 ( laughter ) 483 00:20:40,832 --> 00:20:42,865 OH, MAN, SHE WAS MADE TO GET LAID. 484 00:20:42,867 --> 00:20:45,602 YOU GUYS CHECK THIS OUT, 27 LEVELS OF COMPATIBILITY. 485 00:20:45,604 --> 00:20:47,303 IS HER ASS COMPATIBLE WITH MY DICK? 486 00:20:47,305 --> 00:20:48,771 AND WHAT THE FUCK IS A CUPID SCORE, MAN? 487 00:20:48,773 --> 00:20:50,406 JUST SHOW ME YOUR TITTIES. 488 00:20:50,408 --> 00:20:52,875 RIGHT. THAT'S WHAT MEN ARE DESIGNED TO DO. 489 00:20:52,877 --> 00:20:55,311 GET WITH ATTRACTIVE WOMEN. 490 00:20:55,313 --> 00:20:57,747 NOW, LOOK AT WHAT THEY SAY, FIRST, "NO PLAYERS. 491 00:20:57,749 --> 00:21:00,283 IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A HOOKUP, THEN MOVE ON, MISTER." 492 00:21:00,285 --> 00:21:01,484 THEN WHY THE FUCK IS SHE STANDING 493 00:21:01,486 --> 00:21:02,986 IN FRONT OF A FERRARI WITH HER TITS OUT? 494 00:21:02,988 --> 00:21:04,887 RIGHT. IT'S TO GET YOU ALL RILED UP. 495 00:21:04,889 --> 00:21:06,956 AND CHECK IT, "I'M LOOKING FOR A GUY 496 00:21:06,958 --> 00:21:09,559 "WHO'S KIND AND LOYAL AND SPIRITUAL 497 00:21:09,561 --> 00:21:12,462 AND CARING AND AMBITIOUS." 498 00:21:12,464 --> 00:21:15,798 AMBITIOUS? DOESN'T REALLY FIT, RIGHT? 499 00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:18,001 THE ONE COMMON WORD IN ALL THE HOTTIES. 500 00:21:18,003 --> 00:21:20,003 YOU KNOW, "GENEROUS" SEEMS TO CROP UP THE MOST. 501 00:21:20,005 --> 00:21:21,704 YEAH, I'M GETTIN' "GENEROUS" A BUNCH, TOO. 502 00:21:21,706 --> 00:21:23,539 HERE'S ANOTHER ONE RIGHT THERE. RIGHT, RIGHT. 503 00:21:23,541 --> 00:21:26,342 BUT YOU CAN'T BE GENEROUS IF YOU DON'T HAVE CASH. 504 00:21:26,344 --> 00:21:29,512 YOU KNOW, THE WOMEN WE'RE AFTER ARE MONEY-GRUBBING HOS. 505 00:21:29,514 --> 00:21:30,980 GODDAMN RIGHT. 506 00:21:30,982 --> 00:21:32,749 WE KNOW FROM CAVEMAN TIMES 507 00:21:32,751 --> 00:21:34,984 THAT A MAN IS GENETICALLY PREDISPOSED 508 00:21:34,986 --> 00:21:38,354 TO BE FAITHFUL FOR A MAXIMUM OF THREE YEARS 509 00:21:38,356 --> 00:21:41,424 BECAUSE THAT'S HOW LONG IT TAKES FOR AN INFANT TO LEARN HOW TO WALK. 510 00:21:41,426 --> 00:21:43,760 THEN THEY LEAVE THE CAVE AND THE MOTHER 511 00:21:43,762 --> 00:21:45,895 TO GO SPREAD THEIR SEED FAR AND WIDE. 512 00:21:45,897 --> 00:21:47,630 IT'S JUST HUMAN NATURE, 513 00:21:47,632 --> 00:21:50,733 SO FORGET ABOUT THAT FAIRY TALE, GROWING OLD TOGETHER... 514 00:21:50,735 --> 00:21:52,969 I LOVE FAIRY TALES. 515 00:21:54,371 --> 00:21:56,439 LOOK, WE DON'T HAVE SEEDS TO SPREAD, 516 00:21:56,441 --> 00:21:58,574 BUT WE DO HAVE LEGS. 517 00:21:58,576 --> 00:22:00,910 YEAH, WE DO! 518 00:22:00,912 --> 00:22:04,747 EXACTLY. I MEAN, YOU GUYS ARE ALL COOL AND HIPSTER LOOKING. 519 00:22:04,749 --> 00:22:06,683 WHAT, ARE YOU IN A BAND? YEAH, WE GOT BEATS. 520 00:22:06,685 --> 00:22:10,453 YEAH, LIKE CREEPY BEATS. YOU KNOW, IT'S KIND OF LIKE A GOTH VIBE 521 00:22:10,455 --> 00:22:11,888 WITH, YOU KNOW, HIP-HOP. 522 00:22:11,890 --> 00:22:14,891 YEAH, LIKE BAUHAUS MEETS BOWWOW, 523 00:22:14,893 --> 00:22:17,427 BUT LIKE MORE PALE. ALL RIGHT, GREAT. 524 00:22:17,429 --> 00:22:19,829 WITH A HINT OF C&C MUSIC FACTORY. 525 00:22:19,831 --> 00:22:21,531 UNLESS YOU'RE FREDDY FUCKING MERCURY, 526 00:22:21,533 --> 00:22:23,966 ALL THAT CONVENTIONAL WISDOM ABOUT BEING IN THE BAND 527 00:22:23,968 --> 00:22:25,935 GETTING YOU LAID DOESN'T APPLY WITH THESE CHICKS. 528 00:22:25,937 --> 00:22:28,104 MAN, THESE CHICKS WERE GETTING DICKED OVER BY BAND DUDES 529 00:22:28,106 --> 00:22:30,807 WHEN YOU WERE STILL POPPING ZITS ON YOUR HISTORY HOMEWORK. 530 00:22:30,809 --> 00:22:31,874 THAT'S YOU, BUDDY! 531 00:22:31,876 --> 00:22:33,109 AND THEY DON'T GIVE A SHIT 532 00:22:33,111 --> 00:22:35,445 ABOUT YOUR "GIG" AND YOUR CREEPY BEATS. 533 00:22:35,447 --> 00:22:37,347 SO, LOOK, GO GET YOUR HAIR CUT, 534 00:22:37,349 --> 00:22:39,949 GO SEE MY TAILOR-- HE'LL GET GUYS ALL SORTED OUT-- 535 00:22:39,951 --> 00:22:41,084 AND WE'LL GET STARTED. 536 00:22:41,086 --> 00:22:42,118 I'M SORRY. WAIT. TAILOR? 537 00:22:42,120 --> 00:22:43,486 IS THIS GOING TO BE EXPENSIVE? 538 00:22:43,488 --> 00:22:44,554 YEAH, IT'S GOING TO BE EXPENSIVE! 539 00:22:44,556 --> 00:22:46,122 THAT'S KIND OF THE POINT. 540 00:22:46,124 --> 00:22:48,825 AND THIS THRIFT-STORE SHIT AND THESE IRONIC T-SHIRTS-- 541 00:22:48,827 --> 00:22:50,693 IT'S JUST NOT GONNA CUT IT. 542 00:22:50,695 --> 00:22:52,695 AND WHAT'S WITH THOSE GLASSES-- DO YOU EVEN NEED THOSE GLASSES? 543 00:22:52,697 --> 00:22:55,398 NO, THEY'RE NOT FOR SEEING. IT'S FOR THE LOOK. 544 00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:56,799 YEAH, WELL, THEY'RE STUPID. 545 00:22:56,801 --> 00:22:58,768 AND TAKE OUT THAT FUCKING NOSE RING. 546 00:22:58,770 --> 00:23:00,603 JESUS, YOU LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT. 547 00:23:00,605 --> 00:23:03,673 AND BY GIVING A LITTLE BIT TO A FEW DIFFERENT GUYS, 548 00:23:03,675 --> 00:23:05,408 IF IT'S DONE WITH CLASS, 549 00:23:05,410 --> 00:23:08,044 A WOMAN CAN EASILY SUPPORT HERSELF. 550 00:23:08,046 --> 00:23:10,813 AND THE RICHER THE GUY, THE BIGGER THE PAYOFF. 551 00:23:10,815 --> 00:23:12,715 I NEVER REALLY THOUGHT OF IT LIKE THAT. 552 00:23:12,717 --> 00:23:14,016 YOU SAID IT. 553 00:23:14,018 --> 00:23:17,153 OKAY, I AM SO IN. WHERE DO WE MEET THESE GUYS? 554 00:23:17,155 --> 00:23:19,021 ELLE, GRETCHEN, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE THE NEW GIRLS OUT 555 00:23:19,023 --> 00:23:20,390 AND SHOW THEM HOW IT'S DONE? 556 00:23:20,392 --> 00:23:21,457 YEAH! 557 00:23:21,459 --> 00:23:22,558 OH, MY GOSH, WE HAVE SO MUCH FUN. 558 00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:23,726 ( cheering ) 559 00:23:26,630 --> 00:23:27,897 I DON'T HAVE ANY CASH. 560 00:23:27,899 --> 00:23:29,132 YOU GOT A CREDIT CARD, DON'T YOU? 561 00:23:29,134 --> 00:23:31,634 YEAH. MY MOM'S. WELL, CHARGE IT. 562 00:23:31,636 --> 00:23:33,870 LOOK, YOU GOTTA AT LEAST LOOK LIKE YOU COULD THROW DOWN SOME CASH, ALL RIGHT? 563 00:23:33,872 --> 00:23:35,571 BUT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO SAVE UP, MAN. 564 00:23:35,573 --> 00:23:37,039 I'M PAYING OFF MY STUDENT LOANS. 565 00:23:37,041 --> 00:23:38,741 LOOK, DINGLEBERRY, YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE RICH. 566 00:23:38,743 --> 00:23:40,576 YOU JUST HAVE TO LOOK RICH. 567 00:23:40,578 --> 00:23:42,645 LOOK, MAN, I THOUGHT YOU WAS JUST GONNA GIVE US SOME TIPS, 568 00:23:42,647 --> 00:23:45,448 WE SPEND ALL THIS MONEY... NIGGA, I'M BROKE. 569 00:23:45,450 --> 00:23:47,650 ARE YOU OKAY, YVONNE? 570 00:23:49,987 --> 00:23:52,455 IS THERE ANYTHING WE CAN HELP YOU WITH? 571 00:23:52,457 --> 00:23:53,656 NOT REALLY. 572 00:23:53,658 --> 00:23:56,058 ANYTHING YOU'RE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH? 573 00:23:56,060 --> 00:23:58,494 ANYTHING YOU WANT TO CHANGE ABOUT YOUR BODY? 574 00:23:58,496 --> 00:24:00,696 NO. WHY? 575 00:24:00,698 --> 00:24:03,800 YOU'D BE SO MUCH MORE EFFECTIVE IF YOU JUST GOT SOME BOOBS. 576 00:24:03,802 --> 00:24:05,768 I LIKE MY BOOBS! 577 00:24:05,770 --> 00:24:08,905 I KNOW, DEAR, BUT THEY'LL CHANGE YOUR LIFE. 578 00:24:10,674 --> 00:24:13,776 LOCK IT IN. YOU GOT IT LOCKED IN, NOW PUT SOME PRESSURE ON IT. 579 00:24:13,778 --> 00:24:15,044 ( choking ) 580 00:24:15,046 --> 00:24:16,913 YOU WANNA CUT OFF CIRCULATION TO HIS BRAIN. 581 00:24:16,915 --> 00:24:18,948 THAT'S GOOD. BONES, GOOD JOB. 582 00:24:18,950 --> 00:24:20,149 THANKS. THANKS A LOT, JOHNNY. 583 00:24:20,151 --> 00:24:22,051 THANKS, JOHNNY. YEAH, NO PROBLEM, GUYS. 584 00:24:22,053 --> 00:24:24,821 HEY, NICE SHOES, GUY TOWN. VERY PRETTY. 585 00:24:24,823 --> 00:24:26,789 FAGGOTS. COME ON, MAN. 586 00:24:26,791 --> 00:24:28,491 IS THIS THE ONLY REASON YOU CALLED US DOWN HERE WAS TO MAKE FUN OF US? 587 00:24:28,493 --> 00:24:29,759 NO. IT'S NOT THE ONLY REASON. 588 00:24:29,761 --> 00:24:31,494 I GOT YOUR MESSAGE ABOUT LAST NIGHT. 589 00:24:31,496 --> 00:24:33,062 I THINK I CAN HELP. NOW WHAT HAPPENED. 590 00:24:33,064 --> 00:24:35,164 IT WENT PRETTY GOOD. YOU KNOW, WE GOT TO THE VELVET, 591 00:24:35,166 --> 00:24:37,600 YOU KNOW, WE MET THESE CHICKS, WE WAS BUYING THEM DRINKS, 592 00:24:37,602 --> 00:24:40,102 THEY WAS FEELING OUR NEW FLY GEAR AND SHIT... AND MY HAIR. 593 00:24:40,104 --> 00:24:42,772 YEAH, WE EVEN DEFENDED THEM FROM THIS DUDE WHO TRIED TO SNAKE IN. 594 00:24:42,774 --> 00:24:45,708 YEAH, MAN, BUT WHEN IT CAME TIME TO CLOSE THE DEAL UP, MAN, 595 00:24:45,710 --> 00:24:49,812 THIS DUDE INVITED THEM TO SOME JACUZZI PARTY IN THE HILLS, AND THEY ALL BROKE OUT. 596 00:24:49,814 --> 00:24:51,781 WHAT DID YOU EXPECT? THEY WERE GONNA BE LIKE, 597 00:24:51,783 --> 00:24:53,749 "NO, LET'S ALL GO BACK TO MY PLACE AND FUCK"? 598 00:24:53,751 --> 00:24:55,084 I WAS HOPING SO. 599 00:24:55,086 --> 00:24:56,652 THERE PROBABLY WASN'T EVEN A PARTY, 600 00:24:56,654 --> 00:24:58,087 BUT THE DUDE HAD A PLAN. 601 00:24:58,089 --> 00:24:59,922 HERE'S WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO. 602 00:24:59,924 --> 00:25:01,123 YOU TELL THEM YOU WANT TO HAVE A PHOTO SHOOT AT YOUR STUDIO 603 00:25:01,125 --> 00:25:02,525 AFTER THE BAR CLOSES. 604 00:25:02,527 --> 00:25:04,126 WILL THEY GO FOR THAT? OF COURSE. 605 00:25:04,128 --> 00:25:05,795 LOOK, THEY SPEND A LOT OF MONEY TO LOOK GOOD, 606 00:25:05,797 --> 00:25:07,563 SO YOU KINDA GOTTA PLAY TO THEIR VANITY. 607 00:25:07,565 --> 00:25:09,232 OKAY, BUT WHERE ARE WE GONNA TAKE THEM? 608 00:25:09,234 --> 00:25:10,967 I DUNNO, MAN, YOU'LL FIGURE SOMETHING OUT. 609 00:25:10,969 --> 00:25:12,535 HEY, JOHNNY, LET'S GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE. 610 00:25:12,537 --> 00:25:14,670 WHAT ABOUT A CAMERA? NO, I'VE GOT A CAMERA. 611 00:25:14,672 --> 00:25:16,606 GOOD. BUT YOU ARE GOING TO NEED TO GET A POLAROID, TOO. 612 00:25:16,608 --> 00:25:19,575 POLAROID? THEY DON'T MAKE THAT SHIT NO MORE. THAT'S OLD. 613 00:25:19,577 --> 00:25:21,644 JOHNNY, LETS GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, MAN. LET'S ROLL. 614 00:25:21,646 --> 00:25:23,946 IT DOESN'T MATTER. LOOK, YOU SAID YOU'D DO WHAT I TELL YOU, RIGHT? 615 00:25:23,948 --> 00:25:25,715 TRUST ME. ALL RIGHT, MAN. 616 00:25:25,717 --> 00:25:27,216 WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT PATCH ON YOUR SHOULDER? 617 00:25:27,218 --> 00:25:28,751 IT'S A FLEUR DE LIS. IT'S COOL. 618 00:25:28,753 --> 00:25:29,852 NO, IT'S NOT COOL. 619 00:25:29,854 --> 00:25:32,121 WELL... 620 00:25:32,123 --> 00:25:34,724 GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE. BYE, LADIES. 621 00:25:34,726 --> 00:25:37,994 Max: SO JOHNNY TOLD US TO GET BACK ON THE HORSE, 622 00:25:37,996 --> 00:25:41,797 BUT I THOUGHT HE SAID "WHORES." 623 00:26:37,788 --> 00:26:39,689 YEAH. I'M UP AND COMING, THOUGH. 624 00:26:39,691 --> 00:26:41,090 I LOVE YOUR OUTFIT. 625 00:26:41,092 --> 00:26:43,793 OH. THIS IS SO OLD. 626 00:26:43,795 --> 00:26:46,329 YOU WANNA COME BACK TO MY BUDDY AARON'S STUDIO, HAVE A PHOTO SHOOT? 627 00:26:46,331 --> 00:26:47,897 A PHOTO SHOOT? 628 00:26:47,899 --> 00:26:49,899 ARE THOSE REAL? 629 00:26:49,901 --> 00:26:51,233 THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN. 630 00:26:51,235 --> 00:26:55,705 I GUESS YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO FIND OUT...MAYBE. 631 00:26:55,707 --> 00:26:57,907 YOU'RE A PHOTOGRAPHER. 632 00:26:57,909 --> 00:26:59,108 ARE THEY PROFESSIONAL? 633 00:26:59,110 --> 00:27:00,943 WELL, YEAH, I GUESS. 634 00:27:00,945 --> 00:27:03,179 LET'S DO IT. YOU GOT SOME BOOZE BACK AT THE OFFICE RIGHT? 635 00:27:03,181 --> 00:27:05,114 YEAH, YEAH. A LITTLE, A LITTLE. 636 00:27:05,116 --> 00:27:06,749 WE COULD DO SOME SHOTS TOGETHER. 637 00:27:06,751 --> 00:27:08,317 YEAH, LETS GO PARTY. COME ON. 638 00:27:08,319 --> 00:27:11,654 UH, THIS IS OUR BACKDROP. 639 00:27:11,656 --> 00:27:14,857 LIKE, USUALLY WE HAVE, LIKE, MOUNTAINS AND LAKES 640 00:27:14,859 --> 00:27:16,826 AND THINGS LIKE THAT AND INDIANS IN THE BACKGROUND, 641 00:27:16,828 --> 00:27:18,661 BUT WE ON A TIGHT BUDGET NOW. 642 00:27:20,230 --> 00:27:22,064 UP AGAINST EACH OTHER. 643 00:27:22,066 --> 00:27:25,201 OKAY, JUST LIKE LITTLE CHICKEN STRIPS, THERE YOU GO. 644 00:27:25,203 --> 00:27:28,037 LET ME GET SOME LIGHT. MOVE TO THE RIGHT SOME. MOVE TO THE RIGHT. 645 00:27:28,039 --> 00:27:31,140 RIGHT, NOW YOU'RE A TIGER. TIGERS. 646 00:27:31,142 --> 00:27:32,842 RAWR! ( laughs ) 647 00:27:32,844 --> 00:27:35,845 ALL RIGHT, YOU A CHEETAH. 648 00:27:35,847 --> 00:27:39,115 YOU A JAGUAR. YOU A LEOPARD. OKAY, ALL RIGHT. 649 00:27:39,117 --> 00:27:41,384 ( growling ) 650 00:27:46,123 --> 00:27:50,026 HO HO HO! SWEET! 651 00:27:50,028 --> 00:27:51,894 MAN, THAT SHIT WAS CRAZY. SO MANY TITTIES, 652 00:27:51,896 --> 00:27:53,429 I JUST WANTED TO RUN DOWN AND GO... 653 00:27:53,431 --> 00:27:54,897 NICE. 654 00:27:54,899 --> 00:27:56,399 MAN, IT WAS FUCKING TITSVILLE. 655 00:27:56,401 --> 00:27:58,367 SO, WHO'D YOU END UP WITH, AARON? 656 00:27:58,369 --> 00:28:01,270 I ENDED UP WITH THE BLONDIE. UH, COURTNEY. SHE'S SO COOL. 657 00:28:01,272 --> 00:28:03,372 DUDE, I NEARLY MADE OUT WITH THAT ASIAN CHICK. 658 00:28:03,374 --> 00:28:05,274 YEAH, MAN, AND I WAS SNUGGLING UP 659 00:28:05,276 --> 00:28:07,443 WITH SOME OF THE FIRMEST, SMALLEST LITTLE TITTIES 660 00:28:07,445 --> 00:28:09,111 YOU EVER WANNA GET UP AGAINST, MAN. 661 00:28:09,113 --> 00:28:11,747 WAIT. "NEARLY MADE OUT WITH"? "SNUGGLING"? 662 00:28:11,749 --> 00:28:13,249 ARE YOU GUYS IN JUNIOR HIGH? 663 00:28:13,251 --> 00:28:16,118 OKAY, WAIT. NONE OF YOU GOT LAID OUT OF THIS? 664 00:28:16,120 --> 00:28:17,687 FOR CHRISSAKES, YOU BROUGHT 'EM BACK, 665 00:28:17,689 --> 00:28:19,889 YOU GOT 'EM FUCKED UP-- WHAT HAPPENED? 666 00:28:19,891 --> 00:28:21,157 WE DIDN'T HAVE ANY BOOZE. 667 00:28:21,159 --> 00:28:22,725 YEAH, I BROKE OUT MY VAPORIZER, BUT-- 668 00:28:22,727 --> 00:28:24,827 OKAY, NO BOOZE? WHY NOT? 669 00:28:24,829 --> 00:28:27,730 WHAT IS THIS, AMATEUR HOUR? AND, WHAT, A VAPORIZER? 670 00:28:27,732 --> 00:28:29,732 NO, JOHNNY! I USE VAPORIZER! 671 00:28:29,734 --> 00:28:30,933 OF COURSE YOU DO, SWEETHEART. 672 00:28:30,935 --> 00:28:32,435 I LIKE. IT'S GREAT. 673 00:28:32,437 --> 00:28:34,136 IT'S GREAT FOR WASTING WEED. 674 00:28:34,138 --> 00:28:36,939 NO. NO, NO, NO. YOU DON'T DO IT RIGHT. 675 00:28:36,941 --> 00:28:39,442 YOU HAVE TO SUCK HARD. I SUCK HARD. 676 00:28:39,444 --> 00:28:42,044 I SUCK SO HARD. YOU KNOW I SUCK GOOD. 677 00:28:42,046 --> 00:28:43,412 YEAH, I KNOW YOU DO, SWEETHEART. 678 00:28:43,414 --> 00:28:45,314 YOU'RE SO BAD. YOU'RE BAD. 679 00:28:45,316 --> 00:28:47,116 YOU'RE BAD. EVIL. 680 00:28:47,118 --> 00:28:48,951 MAX, WHAT ARE YOU DOING SMOKING A BLUNT FOR? 681 00:28:48,953 --> 00:28:51,887 WHAT? I THOUGHT YOU SAID IT WAS COOL TO SMOKE HERE. 682 00:28:51,889 --> 00:28:54,323 CLAUDIA. TIME FOR MY MEDICINE. 683 00:28:54,325 --> 00:28:57,460 LOOK AT THIS SHIT. THIS IS COLD-SORE CHRONIC. 684 00:28:57,462 --> 00:29:00,796 I DON'T WANT YOUR HEPATITIS, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 685 00:29:00,798 --> 00:29:03,999 THANK YOU, CLAUDIA. 686 00:29:04,001 --> 00:29:06,068 I USE A CARBONITE. 687 00:29:06,070 --> 00:29:08,938 YOU GRIND IT UP FINE, THE WATER COOLS THE SMOKE, 688 00:29:08,940 --> 00:29:10,106 AND THE CARBON TRAPS THE GUNK. 689 00:29:10,108 --> 00:29:11,273 HERE, CHECK IT. 690 00:29:13,910 --> 00:29:15,377 BLACK SMOKE IN... 691 00:29:15,379 --> 00:29:18,214 WHITE SMOKE OUT. 692 00:29:18,216 --> 00:29:21,350 IT'S A MONSTER HIT, NO COUGHING. 693 00:29:21,352 --> 00:29:24,153 I'M TELLING YOU, THIS IS HOW YOU GET HER PROPERLY STONED. 694 00:29:24,155 --> 00:29:25,321 THANKS, CLAUDIA. 695 00:29:25,323 --> 00:29:26,522 Max: OH, MAN, THAT'S TIGHT. 696 00:29:26,524 --> 00:29:28,991 SO, ALL RIGHT, WELL, NEXT TIME-- 697 00:29:28,993 --> 00:29:30,426 NO, NO, NO. NO NEXT TIME. 698 00:29:30,428 --> 00:29:32,461 LATE-NIGHT WEED IS ONLY GONNA GET HER 699 00:29:32,463 --> 00:29:34,163 HUNGRY OR TIRED OR PARANOID. 700 00:29:34,165 --> 00:29:35,531 WELL, WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO? 701 00:29:35,533 --> 00:29:38,534 WEED IS FOR DAYTIME. COKE IS FOR NIGHTTIME. 702 00:29:38,536 --> 00:29:40,102 YEAH, MAN, BUT WE DON'T REALLY DO COKE. 703 00:29:40,104 --> 00:29:42,238 I DO. SINCE WHEN? 704 00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:45,307 WELL, YOU DO NOW MAX. YOU'RE A BIG BOY. 705 00:29:45,309 --> 00:29:47,276 IT'S NOT LIKE I'M ASKING YOU TO SHOOT UP IN YOUR EYEBALL! 706 00:29:47,278 --> 00:29:48,511 I THINK YOU CAN HANDLE IT. 707 00:29:48,513 --> 00:29:51,847 OKAY, JOHNNY, ALL DONE. YOU LIKE? 708 00:29:51,849 --> 00:29:53,048 I LIKE. THANK YOU. 709 00:29:53,050 --> 00:29:54,817 OKAY, NOW I HAVE TO WAX YOUR BALLS. 710 00:29:54,819 --> 00:29:55,985 OKAY, GO, GO, GO. 711 00:29:55,987 --> 00:29:58,320 I HAVE TO WAX YOUR BALLS. 712 00:30:05,862 --> 00:30:07,496 MAN, THESE CLOTHES, COKE... 713 00:30:07,498 --> 00:30:09,431 WE'RE TURNING INTO HOLLYWOOD DOUCHEBAGS. 714 00:30:09,433 --> 00:30:11,133 HEY, MAN, THAT'S HOW WE GONNA GET THAT HOLLYWOOD TAIL, MAN. 715 00:30:11,135 --> 00:30:12,134 RIGHT ON. 716 00:30:12,136 --> 00:30:13,569 "THE MALE G-SPOT..." 717 00:30:13,571 --> 00:30:16,172 ISN'T THAT HIS DICK? NO, IT'S HIS TAINT. 718 00:30:16,174 --> 00:30:19,175 IT'S RIGHT BETWEEN THE SCHLONG AND THE TURKEY GOBBLE. 719 00:30:19,177 --> 00:30:21,277 ( laughing ) 720 00:30:21,279 --> 00:30:24,113 NO, IT'S IN HIS ASSHOLE. 721 00:30:24,115 --> 00:30:25,381 NASTY. 722 00:30:25,383 --> 00:30:28,417 YOU GUYS LOOK SO CUTE. LOOK. 723 00:30:28,419 --> 00:30:30,019 LET ME SEE. 724 00:30:30,021 --> 00:30:32,555 AHH, THIS LOOKS LIKE SUCH A FUN NIGHT. 725 00:30:32,557 --> 00:30:34,290 IT WAS OK. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN FUN, 726 00:30:34,292 --> 00:30:37,159 BUT THEY DIDN'T HAVE ANY BOOZE OR DRUGS OR ANYTHING. 727 00:30:37,161 --> 00:30:39,461 OH, I KNOW A GUY WE CAN BUY SOME DRUGS FROM. 728 00:30:39,463 --> 00:30:43,032 SWEETIE...WE'RE THE REASON WHY GUYS BUY DRUGS. 729 00:30:43,034 --> 00:30:46,302 AND IT'S NOT JUST DRUGS. BEING HOT IS REALLY EXPENSIVE. 730 00:30:46,304 --> 00:30:49,138 EVERY PENNY COUNTS. WENDY, SHOW HER THE SCALE. 731 00:30:51,408 --> 00:30:54,210 A BAG OF WEED AND A RIDE TO THE AIRPORT IS DOWN AT THE BOTTOM. 732 00:30:54,212 --> 00:30:56,111 FLASH THEM, YOU LET THEM JERK OFF. 733 00:30:56,113 --> 00:30:57,980 AND SOME COKE OR A BOTTLE OF XANAX, 734 00:30:57,982 --> 00:30:59,348 AND THEY MIGHT GET A HANDJOB. 735 00:30:59,350 --> 00:31:01,917 SHOES OVER 500 BUCKS, AND THEY MIGHT GET LAID. 736 00:31:01,919 --> 00:31:04,086 IF YOU LIKE THE GUY. 737 00:31:04,088 --> 00:31:05,387 STRIPPER SHOES, AND THEY MIGHT GET 738 00:31:05,389 --> 00:31:07,289 TO SUCK A NIPPLE AND BEAT OFF... 739 00:31:07,291 --> 00:31:10,492 NOW, IF IT'S A DAY AT THE SPA, THAT COULD BE A BLOW JOB. 740 00:31:10,494 --> 00:31:12,461 OR IF THEY HELP YOU MOVE, THAT COULD BE ONE, TOO. 741 00:31:12,463 --> 00:31:15,030 OKAY, BUT THAT'S ONLY IF YOU'RE IN THE MOOD TO SUCK COCK. 742 00:31:15,032 --> 00:31:18,934 OF COURSE. WHAT IS IT, COURTNEY? 743 00:31:18,936 --> 00:31:24,340 UM, I DON'T KNOW. IT'S KIND OF LIKE WE'RE PROSTITUTES. 744 00:31:24,342 --> 00:31:26,008 ( laughter ) 745 00:31:26,010 --> 00:31:27,076 WHAT'S YOUR POINT? 746 00:31:27,078 --> 00:31:30,346 HEY! PRIVATE PARTY! 747 00:31:30,348 --> 00:31:34,950 ONCH. BACK IN YOUR ROOM. WHERE YOU BELONG. GO. 748 00:31:34,952 --> 00:31:36,619 OHH, TENANTS! 749 00:31:36,621 --> 00:31:38,621 LOOK, GIRLS, IT'S NOT AN EVEN PLAYING FIELD. 750 00:31:38,623 --> 00:31:41,056 WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU HEARD ABOUT A GUY 751 00:31:41,058 --> 00:31:42,958 WHO WAS TRYING TO JUGGLE A CAREER AND A FAMILY? 752 00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:46,028 I MEAN, RIGHT NOW, YOU'RE CUTE AND YOUNG. THANKS! 753 00:31:46,030 --> 00:31:48,364 BUT YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SPEND TO KEEP UP THE HOTNESS AS YOU AGE. 754 00:31:48,366 --> 00:31:50,633 HOW MUCH IS THAT? A LOT. 755 00:31:50,635 --> 00:31:53,636 AND UNLESS YOU WANT TO END UP AS STRETCH-MARKED SINGLE MOTHER 756 00:31:53,638 --> 00:31:56,672 WITH A WASTOID HUSBAND WHO'S IN A BAND, 757 00:31:56,674 --> 00:31:58,974 WHO CAN'T PAY CHILD SUPPORT OR ALIMONY, 758 00:31:58,976 --> 00:32:00,542 YOU BETTER TO GET THAT MONEY. 759 00:32:00,544 --> 00:32:02,011 I'M GOING TO TINKLE. 760 00:32:03,413 --> 00:32:05,648 THAT'S WHAT THE T.O.B. CLUB IS ALL ABOUT. 761 00:32:05,650 --> 00:32:08,117 HOW DO YOU THINK WENDY GOT US OUR HOUSE? 762 00:32:08,119 --> 00:32:09,585 I DON'T KNOW, HOW? 763 00:32:09,587 --> 00:32:11,520 WELL, SHE WAS WORKING AT THIS TECH FIRM, 764 00:32:11,522 --> 00:32:13,489 AND SHE STARTED SLEEPING WITH THE OWNER... 765 00:32:13,491 --> 00:32:15,090 AS WE ALL DO. 766 00:32:15,092 --> 00:32:17,126 AND I THINK HE LIKED HER, 767 00:32:17,128 --> 00:32:19,628 AND THEY BECAME VERY CLOSE. I THINK HE EVEN LOVED HER. 768 00:32:19,630 --> 00:32:20,930 OHH! 769 00:32:20,932 --> 00:32:22,665 BUT HE WAS OLD, AND HE WAS JEWISH. 770 00:32:22,667 --> 00:32:23,999 OHH. 771 00:32:24,001 --> 00:32:25,367 YEAH. YEAH. 772 00:32:31,441 --> 00:32:33,042 AVI... HI. 773 00:32:33,044 --> 00:32:36,078 HI, HONEY. 774 00:32:36,080 --> 00:32:37,546 I'VE FOUND THE PERFECT ONE. 775 00:32:37,548 --> 00:32:40,316 YEAH, YEAH, SURE. NICE, NICE. 776 00:32:40,318 --> 00:32:41,684 NO...LOOK. 777 00:32:41,686 --> 00:32:43,719 NOT NOW. 778 00:32:43,721 --> 00:32:46,422 OH, AVI, YOU HAVE SO MUCH MONEY. 779 00:32:46,424 --> 00:32:48,324 YOU SHOULD JUST BUY ME A HOUSE. 780 00:32:48,326 --> 00:32:50,225 I'M NOT BUYING YOU A HOUSE. 781 00:32:50,227 --> 00:32:53,963 WELL, THE DOWN PAYMENT AT LEAST. 782 00:32:53,965 --> 00:32:56,198 I COULD GET ROOMMATES TO PAY FOR THE MORTGAGE. 783 00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:58,200 WELL, WELL, IT WOULD APPRECIATE... 784 00:32:58,202 --> 00:33:00,569 THE MARKET'S UP... MAYBE. 785 00:33:00,571 --> 00:33:02,671 AND IT'D BE IN MY NAME, RIGHT? 786 00:33:02,673 --> 00:33:04,974 DON'T BE RIDICULOUS. IT'LL BE IN MY NAME. 787 00:33:04,976 --> 00:33:07,509 NO, MY NAME. 788 00:33:07,511 --> 00:33:10,112 LOOK, I BUY YOU ENOUGH STUFF ALREADY. 789 00:33:10,114 --> 00:33:12,147 BUT YOU PROMISED AFTER A YEAR, YOU'D BUY ME A HOUSE. 790 00:33:12,149 --> 00:33:13,215 NO WAY DID I SAY THAT! 791 00:33:13,217 --> 00:33:14,483 YES, YOU DID! YOU PROMISED! 792 00:33:14,485 --> 00:33:16,318 NO WAY, I'M NOT BUYING YOU NO HOUSE! 793 00:33:16,320 --> 00:33:18,253 FUCK YOU, YOU ASSHOLE LIAR! 794 00:33:18,255 --> 00:33:20,756 FUCK YOU! NO! OW! OW! 795 00:33:23,259 --> 00:33:26,028 MY PLUG! YOU FUCKING LITTLE BITCH! 796 00:33:26,030 --> 00:33:27,429 I'M NOT BUYING YOU ANYTHING! 797 00:33:27,431 --> 00:33:30,199 OWW! WRITE ME THE FUCKING CHECK. 798 00:33:30,201 --> 00:33:32,534 FUCK YOU. 799 00:33:32,536 --> 00:33:35,237 ( gasps ) LOOK WHAT YOU DID! 800 00:33:35,239 --> 00:33:36,572 I'M CALLING THE POLICE. 801 00:33:36,574 --> 00:33:38,240 GO AHEAD, CALL THEM. 802 00:33:38,242 --> 00:33:39,775 AS A MATTER OF FACT, I'LL CALL THEM, 803 00:33:39,777 --> 00:33:41,643 AND I'LL HAVE YOU ARRESTED. 804 00:33:41,645 --> 00:33:44,646 OH, YEAH, WHO ARE THEY GOING TO BELIEVE, A 90-POUND LITTLE GIRL 805 00:33:44,648 --> 00:33:48,050 OR AN OLD MAN WITH TWO DUIs WHO'S BEEN SEXUALLY HARASSING ME AT WORK? 806 00:33:48,052 --> 00:33:51,553 "I'M SORRY, OFFICER, SHE PULLED MY HAIR, SO I BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HER." 807 00:33:51,555 --> 00:33:53,055 GIVE ME THAT! 808 00:33:53,057 --> 00:33:54,256 GIVE IT! GIVE ME IT! 809 00:33:54,258 --> 00:33:55,257 GIVE IT, I'LL SCREAM. 810 00:33:55,259 --> 00:33:56,592 GO AHEAD, SCREAM. 811 00:33:56,594 --> 00:33:58,727 IT'S SWELLING UP! 812 00:33:58,729 --> 00:34:01,597 YOU KNOW I'M A MODEL. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO WORK AGAIN? 813 00:34:01,599 --> 00:34:03,399 I NEVER LAID A HAND ON YOU. 814 00:34:03,401 --> 00:34:05,300 OH, YEAH. LET'S SEE WHAT THE JUDGE HAS TO SAY ABOUT THAT. 815 00:34:05,302 --> 00:34:06,668 WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "WE'LL SEE WHAT THE JUDGE SAYS"? 816 00:34:06,670 --> 00:34:09,071 I NEVER TOUCHED YOU. YES, YOU DID, YOU BASTARD! 817 00:34:09,073 --> 00:34:11,407 OH, MAN, FORGET WITH THE PICTURES. I DIDN'T TOUCH YOU. 818 00:34:11,409 --> 00:34:13,042 I'M GONNA CALL THE COPS. 819 00:34:14,344 --> 00:34:18,280 ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. YOU WIN. YOU WIN. 820 00:34:18,282 --> 00:34:19,748 I'M GETTING OUT MY CHECKBOOK. I'M GONNA WRITE YOU THE CHECK. 821 00:34:19,750 --> 00:34:21,750 GOOD. YOU SHOULD. 822 00:34:21,752 --> 00:34:24,353 NOW YOU GET YOUR STUFF, YOU PACK IT UP, 823 00:34:24,355 --> 00:34:26,622 AND YOU GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE. 824 00:34:26,624 --> 00:34:27,623 JUST SIGN IT. 825 00:34:27,625 --> 00:34:29,792 HERE'S YOUR CHECK. 826 00:34:31,828 --> 00:34:35,731 IT'S WORTH A MEASLY HUNDRED GRAND JUST TO GET RID OF YOU, 827 00:34:35,733 --> 00:34:38,100 YOU SPITEFUL LITTLE CUNT. 828 00:34:38,102 --> 00:34:40,402 BUT THEY CAME UP WITH A HAPPY SOLUTION, 829 00:34:40,404 --> 00:34:42,638 AND THEY BOTH GOT WHAT THEY WANTED. 830 00:34:42,640 --> 00:34:44,106 AS WE ALL SHOULD. 831 00:34:46,276 --> 00:34:47,443 OKAY, LADIES... 832 00:34:47,445 --> 00:34:50,412 OHH! OHH! WHAT IS THAT? 833 00:34:50,414 --> 00:34:53,115 SEX TIP OF THE WEEK... 834 00:34:53,117 --> 00:34:56,852 "TO DRIVE YOUR MAN CRAZY, PLACE THE DONUT OVER THE SHAFT 835 00:34:56,854 --> 00:35:00,289 AND GENTLY NIBBLE IT OFF." 836 00:35:00,291 --> 00:35:02,524 OKAY, WHO WANTS TO HELP? 837 00:35:02,526 --> 00:35:06,829 UH, LYRIC AND PAGE. COME ON. 838 00:35:06,831 --> 00:35:10,732 ( chanting ) DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! 839 00:35:10,734 --> 00:35:13,535 ( indistinct shouting ) 840 00:35:18,174 --> 00:35:22,211 DUDE, JOHNNY'S GUY IS NOT FUCKING AROUND. THIS SHIT IS NICE. 841 00:35:22,213 --> 00:35:24,346 YEAH, LOOKS LIKE A LITTLE BABY GLACIER. 842 00:35:24,348 --> 00:35:26,615 THEY CALL IT FISH SCALE, LIKE WHEN IT GLISTENS, YOU KNOW. 843 00:35:26,617 --> 00:35:28,450 MAN, IF WE START SELLING THIS SHIT, 844 00:35:28,452 --> 00:35:30,619 THEN I COULD ACTUALLY RAP ABOUT IT. 845 00:35:30,621 --> 00:35:32,688 ♪ YEAH, RIBBITY RAP RAP, RAP ABOUT IT ♪ 846 00:35:32,690 --> 00:35:34,490 DUDE, WE MAY NOT EVEN HAVE TO SELL IT. 847 00:35:34,492 --> 00:35:37,259 THAT GIRL GRETCHEN CALLED ME. SHE WANTS TO GET SOME OF THIS. 848 00:35:37,261 --> 00:35:39,294 I'M THINKING I MIGHT GET SOME OF THAT. HA. 849 00:35:39,296 --> 00:35:41,163 ♪ LOOK AT THIS LITTLE ROCK OF COKE ♪ 850 00:35:41,165 --> 00:35:42,764 ♪ IT LOOKS LIKE A BABY GLACIER 851 00:35:42,766 --> 00:35:45,467 ♪ I MIGHT GIVE YOU SOME IF YOU HIT ME ON THE PAGER ♪ 852 00:35:45,469 --> 00:35:46,902 ♪ HIT YOU UP LATER 853 00:35:46,904 --> 00:35:50,906 OH, I'M ONTO SOME SHIT RIGHT HERE. RIGHT? 854 00:35:50,908 --> 00:35:52,674 I HATE IT. 855 00:35:52,676 --> 00:35:54,209 YOU NEED TO STOP HATIN' 'CAUSE YOU CANT RAP. 856 00:35:54,211 --> 00:35:55,911 I'M NOT--WHY AM I A HATER ALL OF A SUDDEN? 857 00:35:55,913 --> 00:35:58,780 DON'T WORRY, YVONNE, YOU'LL GET THE HANG OF IT, 858 00:35:58,782 --> 00:36:00,516 BUT FIRST WE HAVE TO FIX THESE. 859 00:36:00,518 --> 00:36:02,284 I'M FINE WITH THEM THE WAY THEY ARE. 860 00:36:02,286 --> 00:36:04,486 I KNOW, SWEETIE, BUT DID THE DOCTOR CALL? 861 00:36:04,488 --> 00:36:07,289 YEAH. WE'RE SUPPOSED TO GO OUT NEXT WEEK, BUT WHAT DO I DO? 862 00:36:07,291 --> 00:36:10,425 IT'S EASY. HE'S A DOG, SO JUST THROW HIM A BONE. 863 00:36:10,427 --> 00:36:12,728 HE DID BOTH OF OURS, AND ELLE'S. 864 00:36:12,730 --> 00:36:15,197 ( sighs ) 865 00:36:15,199 --> 00:36:17,566 WHAT SIZE WOULD I GET? 866 00:36:17,568 --> 00:36:20,435 SIZE DOESN'T MATTER, SWEETIE. 867 00:36:20,437 --> 00:36:21,603 MINE ARE RELATIVELY SMALL. 868 00:36:21,605 --> 00:36:22,871 MINE ARE BIG. 869 00:36:22,873 --> 00:36:24,239 BUT WE DON'T DISCRIMINATE HERE. 870 00:36:24,241 --> 00:36:25,874 GUYS LIKE GIRLS WITH IMPLANTS, 871 00:36:25,876 --> 00:36:27,776 AND WE DIDN'T GET THEM DONE TO PUT THEM AWAY. 872 00:36:27,778 --> 00:36:29,378 SO WHEN IS YOUR DATE? 873 00:36:29,380 --> 00:36:30,846 THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW. 874 00:36:30,848 --> 00:36:33,482 OKAY, SO GO OUT TO DINNER WITH HIM, 875 00:36:33,484 --> 00:36:35,317 AND LET HIM TALK ABOUT HOW GREAT HE IS 876 00:36:35,319 --> 00:36:36,919 AND LAUGH AT ALL OF HIS STUPID JOKES. 877 00:36:36,921 --> 00:36:40,589 "OHH, OH, OH, IT HURTS, IT HURTS!" 878 00:36:40,591 --> 00:36:46,195 "WELL, MRS. PLOTNICK, I THINK YOU GOT A BROKEN FINGER." 879 00:36:46,197 --> 00:36:47,596 ( laughing ) 880 00:36:47,598 --> 00:36:49,364 YOU'RE SO FUNNY! 881 00:36:49,366 --> 00:36:50,699 WELL, LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. 882 00:36:50,701 --> 00:36:53,235 I WORK IN THE RESEARCH LAB FOR A WHILE... 883 00:36:53,237 --> 00:36:54,403 Big Wendy: TOUCH HIM A LITTLE BIT. 884 00:36:54,405 --> 00:36:56,972 YOU'RE SO SMART. 885 00:36:56,974 --> 00:36:58,707 YOU HAVE A PIECE OF PAPER HERE. 886 00:36:58,709 --> 00:37:01,310 YOU ISOLATE THE TISSUE FROM THE RAT. 887 00:37:01,312 --> 00:37:02,878 Little Wendy: HE'S GOING TO INVITE YOU BACK TO HIS PLACE. 888 00:37:02,880 --> 00:37:04,379 Yvonne: DO I GO? 889 00:37:04,381 --> 00:37:05,714 Little Wendy: OF COURSE. 890 00:37:05,716 --> 00:37:07,749 YOU'RE A MOUSE KILLER. 891 00:37:07,751 --> 00:37:09,518 Big Wendy: IT'S $8,000 OTHERWISE... 892 00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:11,853 PER TATA! LOOK AT YOU! 893 00:37:11,855 --> 00:37:13,689 Little Wendy: SAY SOMETHING ABOUT HIS CAR. 894 00:37:13,691 --> 00:37:16,558 Big Wendy: OH, THEY LOVE THEIR CARS. 895 00:37:16,560 --> 00:37:20,562 OH, MY GOD. I LOVE YOUR CAR, BY THE WAY. 896 00:37:20,564 --> 00:37:22,297 IT IS SO HOT. 897 00:37:22,299 --> 00:37:23,532 SO WHERE ARE WE GOING? 898 00:37:23,534 --> 00:37:25,234 HOW ABOUT YOUR PLACE? 899 00:37:25,236 --> 00:37:26,468 AND THEN? 900 00:37:26,470 --> 00:37:30,505 AND THEN I WOULD LOVE IT IF YOU... 901 00:37:30,507 --> 00:37:32,975 Little Wendy: ...AND GIVE HIM SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO. 902 00:37:32,977 --> 00:37:34,576 ( whispering ) 903 00:37:34,578 --> 00:37:37,346 ...LIKE, ALL OVER MY FACE AND LIPS. 904 00:37:37,348 --> 00:37:40,482 OH, BABY, THAT'S SO HOT. 905 00:37:40,484 --> 00:37:45,020 Yvonne: EWWW. DO I REALLY HAVE TO DO IT? 906 00:37:47,023 --> 00:37:50,792 OF COURSE NOT, BUT YOU WANNA KEEP HIS HEAD IN THE GAME. 907 00:37:50,794 --> 00:37:52,961 EVERY MAN HAS SOMETHING THAT DRIVES HIM CRAZY. 908 00:37:52,963 --> 00:37:58,033 DR. EUGENE IS A NEAT FREAK, METROSEXUAL, BUT, LIKE, TOO MUCH, YOU KNOW? 909 00:37:58,035 --> 00:37:59,701 Big Wendy: HE'S A CLEAN FREAK 910 00:37:59,703 --> 00:38:01,436 IN THE TRUEST SENSE OF THE WORD. 911 00:38:01,438 --> 00:38:02,971 BUT USE THAT AGAINST HIM. 912 00:38:02,973 --> 00:38:05,607 MAKE A MESS, BEND OVER AND CLEAN IT UP. 913 00:38:05,609 --> 00:38:07,676 HE'LL BE WET SOAP IN YOUR HANDS... 914 00:38:07,678 --> 00:38:12,447 IT IS SO HOOKED UP. AND I LOVE THE WAY YOU DECORATED THE PLACE, TOO. 915 00:38:12,449 --> 00:38:14,283 IT IS SO NEAT. 916 00:38:14,285 --> 00:38:16,351 I LIKE BEAUTIFUL THINGS. 917 00:38:16,353 --> 00:38:20,455 AND IT IS SO CLEAN, TOO. I MEAN, LOOK AT THIS TABLE... 918 00:38:20,457 --> 00:38:23,058 YOU COULD PRACTICALLY DO OPERATIONS OFF OF IT. 919 00:38:23,060 --> 00:38:25,894 ONLY MY THOUGHTS ARE DIRTY, MY DEAR YVONNE. 920 00:38:25,896 --> 00:38:30,432 EXCEPT FOR THIS. I MEAN, IT LOOKS LIKE YOUR KNOB IS A LITTLE DIRTY. 921 00:38:30,434 --> 00:38:33,535 DO YOU MIND IF I JUST... POLISH YOUR KNOB? 922 00:38:33,537 --> 00:38:34,603 ( blows air ) 923 00:38:41,678 --> 00:38:45,414 A KNOB CANNOT BE TOO SHINY IN MY BOOK. 924 00:38:45,416 --> 00:38:47,716 OH, YEAH, WELL, I LOVE TO CLEAN, TOO. 925 00:38:47,718 --> 00:38:50,786 I'M A BIT OF A FREAK ABOUT IT ACTUALLY. I HOPE THAT'S OKAY. 926 00:38:50,788 --> 00:38:55,590 LOOK AT THIS MESS. WHY DON'T I HELP YOU OUT AND CLEAN THIS FOR YOU? 927 00:38:55,592 --> 00:38:57,726 ( whirring ) 928 00:38:59,062 --> 00:39:03,732 LET ME SEE HOW THIS FEELS! OHH...I LIKE THAT. 929 00:39:03,734 --> 00:39:10,539 YEAH... I USE THE HOSE ATTACHMENT. IT'S MY GUILTY PLEASURE. 930 00:39:10,541 --> 00:39:12,708 I'M SURE YOU DO. 931 00:39:12,710 --> 00:39:14,409 ( whirring stops ) 932 00:39:14,411 --> 00:39:18,447 OH, LOOK AT THAT DIRTY GLASS. LET ME HANDLE THAT FOR YOU. 933 00:39:18,449 --> 00:39:19,781 THAT'S AMAZING! 934 00:39:19,783 --> 00:39:22,517 OKAY, WELL, I DON'T WANT TO GET MY DRESS WET, 935 00:39:22,519 --> 00:39:25,053 SO I'M JUST GOING TO TAKE IT OFF. 936 00:39:28,424 --> 00:39:30,759 ( singing in foreign language ) 937 00:39:38,067 --> 00:39:44,906 WOW. YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL. YOU'RE ALMOST PERFECT. 938 00:39:44,908 --> 00:39:46,808 ALMOST? 939 00:39:46,810 --> 00:39:49,578 WITH A LITTLE SHAPING HERE AND THERE... 940 00:39:49,580 --> 00:39:52,581 REALLY? BECAUSE I'M PRETTY HAPPY WITH HOW I AM NATURALLY. 941 00:39:52,583 --> 00:39:53,915 THEY ALWAYS LOOK SO FAKE. 942 00:39:53,917 --> 00:39:55,784 OH, NOT IF I DO IT. 943 00:39:55,786 --> 00:40:00,455 I'M THE BEST. LATEST TECHNIQUES, TINY INCISIONS, 944 00:40:00,457 --> 00:40:04,693 ATRAUMATIC PROCEDURES... NO BRUISING AT ALL. 945 00:40:04,695 --> 00:40:06,695 ALL RIGHT, I'LL THINK ABOUT IT. 946 00:40:06,697 --> 00:40:08,930 YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE IT, LOVE IT. 947 00:40:08,932 --> 00:40:10,866 RIGHT NOW, I'D LOVE A DRINK. 948 00:40:10,868 --> 00:40:12,634 OH, YOU WILL HAVE THAT. 949 00:40:12,636 --> 00:40:16,505 NOT IF I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU. ( laughs ) 950 00:40:16,507 --> 00:40:18,073 HERE YOU GO. 951 00:40:18,075 --> 00:40:20,776 Little Wendy: AND THEN JUST SEAL THE DEAL. 952 00:40:20,778 --> 00:40:22,411 ( clink ) 953 00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:27,082 NO, I REALLY SHOULD PROBABLY GET GOING NOW. 954 00:40:27,084 --> 00:40:29,885 OH, PLEASE STAY. I'LL DROP YOU IN THE MORNING. 955 00:40:29,887 --> 00:40:34,055 NO, I SHOULD PROBABLY GO NOW. 956 00:40:34,057 --> 00:40:36,758 BEFORE YOU GO DO YOU MIND IF I... 957 00:40:36,760 --> 00:40:39,628 WHAT? TAKE A BITE OUT OF CRIME? 958 00:40:39,630 --> 00:40:41,596 YEAH. 959 00:40:41,598 --> 00:40:43,432 GO AHEAD. 960 00:40:44,801 --> 00:40:49,070 OHH! WHOA! THAT'S FORWARD! 961 00:40:49,072 --> 00:40:51,606 DO YOU MIND IF I... TOUCH MYSELF? 962 00:40:51,608 --> 00:40:53,708 WHY DON'T I HELP YOU OUT WITH THAT? 963 00:40:58,014 --> 00:41:01,049 ( singing in foreign language ) 964 00:41:01,051 --> 00:41:03,585 LET ME GET MY PANTS OFF. 965 00:41:06,856 --> 00:41:10,125 SO CLEAN... I KNOW HOW YOU LIKE THAT SOAP. 966 00:41:10,127 --> 00:41:11,460 HERE WE GO. 967 00:41:11,462 --> 00:41:13,762 OHH. 968 00:41:15,531 --> 00:41:17,065 OHH. 969 00:41:17,067 --> 00:41:18,200 YOU LIKE THAT? 970 00:41:18,202 --> 00:41:20,168 OH, YEAH. CAN I SEE YOU AGAIN? 971 00:41:20,170 --> 00:41:21,570 MAYBE. 972 00:41:21,572 --> 00:41:24,940 OHH. SCOUR IT, I DON'T CARE. 973 00:41:24,942 --> 00:41:27,008 YEAH, RUB IT. 974 00:41:27,010 --> 00:41:30,045 BUT IF I SEE YOU AGAIN, WE'LL DEFINITELY BE CLEANING YOUR BEDROOM. 975 00:41:30,047 --> 00:41:31,680 BEDROOM. YEAH. 976 00:41:31,682 --> 00:41:33,682 DIRTY BEDROOM. DIRTY BEDROOM. 977 00:41:33,684 --> 00:41:37,085 MUD TRACKING IN FROM OUTSIDE. OH, YEAH! 978 00:41:37,087 --> 00:41:39,221 DR. EUGENE! WHOO! 979 00:41:39,223 --> 00:41:42,224 SO HOW MUCH IS IT? 980 00:41:42,226 --> 00:41:44,826 TWO GRAMS... ONE HUNDRED. 981 00:41:44,828 --> 00:41:48,864 HMM, WELL, I DON'T HAVE THE WHOLE HUNDRED... 982 00:41:48,866 --> 00:41:50,632 BUT I HAVE THESE. 983 00:41:52,235 --> 00:41:54,236 I ACCEPT THOSE. 984 00:41:54,238 --> 00:41:56,605 Max: ALL RIGHT, REMEMBER WHAT JOHNNY EYELASH SAID... 985 00:41:56,607 --> 00:41:58,673 DIVIDE AND CONQUER. 986 00:41:58,675 --> 00:42:00,275 ( women talking indistinctly ) 987 00:42:00,277 --> 00:42:01,843 I HAVE THE SAME DRESS. 988 00:42:01,845 --> 00:42:07,516 ( women talking indistinctly ) 989 00:42:07,518 --> 00:42:08,650 HEY. HEY. 990 00:42:08,652 --> 00:42:10,218 HEY. HOW'S IT GOIN'? 991 00:42:10,220 --> 00:42:11,686 SO IT'S PRETTY GOOD, HUH? 992 00:42:11,688 --> 00:42:13,288 YEAH, IT WAS OKAY. 993 00:42:13,290 --> 00:42:14,556 SO DO YOU HAVE TO WORK TOMORROW? 994 00:42:14,558 --> 00:42:16,691 NO. WELL, NOT UNTIL 6 P.M. 995 00:42:16,693 --> 00:42:19,227 OKAY, DO YOU WANNA GET OUT OF HERE? WE COULD SHARE A CAB. 996 00:42:19,229 --> 00:42:21,830 NO. LET'S GO BACK TO YOUR PLACE AND PARTY. 997 00:42:21,832 --> 00:42:23,765 AWESOME. OKAY. 998 00:42:23,767 --> 00:42:25,166 SO YOU WANNA GO BACK TO MY SPOT 999 00:42:25,168 --> 00:42:28,236 AND LEAVE THESE LOVEBIRDS TO DO THEIR THING? 1000 00:42:28,238 --> 00:42:29,304 DO YOU HAVE ANY MORE AT HOME? 1001 00:42:29,306 --> 00:42:30,739 YEAH. A GRIP. 1002 00:42:30,741 --> 00:42:33,608 OKAY. BUT NO FUNNY STUFF. 1003 00:42:33,610 --> 00:42:36,645 I KNOW. ( scoffs ) 1004 00:42:36,647 --> 00:42:38,713 ( indistinct chattering ) 1005 00:42:45,154 --> 00:42:47,088 DAMN. AHH. 1006 00:42:47,090 --> 00:42:49,891 NICE TOUCH. AHEM. 1007 00:42:52,028 --> 00:42:55,797 MY SISTER AND HER FRIENDS, THEY'RE ALL INTO THIS POSITIVE THINKING. 1008 00:42:55,799 --> 00:42:58,867 THERE'S THIS ONE GIRL CARLY-- SHE WALKS AROUND WITH A BLACK CLOUD OVER HER HEAD, 1009 00:42:58,869 --> 00:43:02,003 BUT THEN SHE WATCHED THE SECRET, AND I WATCHED THE SECRET WITH MY FRIEND TIESTO. 1010 00:43:02,005 --> 00:43:03,171 YOU KNOW WHO TIESTO IS, RIGHT? 1011 00:43:03,173 --> 00:43:05,340 HUGE D.J. DOES ALL THE BIG PARTIES. 1012 00:43:10,880 --> 00:43:12,314 SO I DON'T LIKE THAT ATKINS DIET. 1013 00:43:12,316 --> 00:43:13,715 THAT'S TOO MANY RULES FOR ME. 1014 00:43:13,717 --> 00:43:14,983 MY BIG THING...JUICING. 1015 00:43:14,985 --> 00:43:16,651 YOU WANNA HEAR THE RECIPE? HERE IT IS. 1016 00:43:16,653 --> 00:43:19,321 THIS IS WHAT I USE. I USE KALE, I USE SWISS CHARD... 1017 00:43:19,323 --> 00:43:20,989 GIVES IT A ZING, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT? 1018 00:43:20,991 --> 00:43:23,758 THEN MY DOCTOR, HE'S LIKE, YOU CANT USE SUGAR. 1019 00:43:26,195 --> 00:43:28,697 ( cash register dings ) 1020 00:44:16,812 --> 00:44:19,180 ( whistling ) 1021 00:44:26,922 --> 00:44:28,990 YEAH, THIS ONE, THIS IS WHEN I WAS IN FRANCE. 1022 00:44:28,992 --> 00:44:31,726 REALLY AWESOME TRIP. YOU SEE THIS GUY? HE'S PRETTY GOOD-LOOKING, HUH? 1023 00:44:31,728 --> 00:44:33,995 SO GOOD IN BED. YEAH, BUT HE'S A BIT BORING. 1024 00:44:33,997 --> 00:44:35,930 HELL, YES. I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE SAYING. 1025 00:44:35,932 --> 00:44:37,132 HEY, YOU GOT ANY MORE BLOW? 1026 00:44:37,134 --> 00:44:38,767 NAH, YOU DID IT ALL. 1027 00:44:38,769 --> 00:44:40,368 CAN I DO THE LAST LINE FOR THE ROAD? UH, YEAH. 1028 00:44:40,370 --> 00:44:42,404 UH, I WAS WONDERING, UH... 1029 00:44:42,406 --> 00:44:45,306 BEFORE YOU LEFT IF YOU WOULDN'T MIND 1030 00:44:45,308 --> 00:44:49,911 IF I JUST LOOK AT YOU AND BEAT OFF TO YOU? 1031 00:44:49,913 --> 00:44:52,247 I SAID NO FUNNY STUFF. 1032 00:44:52,249 --> 00:44:54,315 I MEAN, I KNOW YOU SAID THAT, BUT, YOU KNOW, 1033 00:44:54,317 --> 00:44:56,284 WE STARTED LOOKING AT THE MODELING PICTURES. 1034 00:44:56,286 --> 00:44:58,887 LOOK, I'LL EVEN DO IT OVER HERE. 1035 00:44:58,889 --> 00:45:00,355 OKAY, FINE. 1036 00:45:02,725 --> 00:45:06,428 ALL RIGHT, COME ON, GIVE ME A LITTLE BIT OF ENCOURAGEMENT. 1037 00:45:06,430 --> 00:45:07,996 OH, YEAH. 1038 00:45:07,998 --> 00:45:11,733 YOU ARE AMAZING. 1039 00:45:11,735 --> 00:45:13,101 I KNOW. 1040 00:45:15,971 --> 00:45:19,741 NOW I'M GOING TO GET MY FUCK ON. 1041 00:45:19,743 --> 00:45:20,975 IS THIS GONNA TAKE MUCH LONGER? 1042 00:45:20,977 --> 00:45:22,043 CAN YOU SHOW ME YOUR NIPPLE? 1043 00:45:22,045 --> 00:45:24,913 GOD. 1044 00:45:24,915 --> 00:45:26,715 OH, YES. THAT'LL DO. 1045 00:45:26,717 --> 00:45:28,483 IT'S GETTING LIGHT OUTSIDE. I HATE THAT. 1046 00:45:28,485 --> 00:45:29,851 DO NOT GET ANY OF THAT ON ME. 1047 00:45:29,853 --> 00:45:31,920 ALL RIGHT. AH, THAT'S IT. 1048 00:45:31,922 --> 00:45:34,823 YEAH, IT BETTER BE IT, 'CAUSE I'M ABOUT TO TAKE OFF IN A MINUTE. 1049 00:45:34,825 --> 00:45:37,092 LOOK, WOULD YOU JUST STOP TALKING? DAMN! 1050 00:45:37,094 --> 00:45:40,895 DON'T GET PISSY WITH ME. I'M DOING YOU THE FAVOR. ANYWAYS, I'M GETTING COLD. 1051 00:45:40,897 --> 00:45:43,031 UH, LOOK, CAN YOU JUST, UH... 1052 00:45:43,033 --> 00:45:45,033 SHOW ME A LITTLE PIECE OF YOUR ASS? 1053 00:45:45,035 --> 00:45:46,901 JUST THE TOP PIECE, AND I SWEAR I'LL COME QUICK. 1054 00:45:46,903 --> 00:45:48,136 OH, GOD. 1055 00:45:49,105 --> 00:45:50,271 THANK YOU. 1056 00:45:50,273 --> 00:45:52,974 AHH. OH, YEAH, THANK YOU. 1057 00:45:52,976 --> 00:45:54,976 CAN YOU PLEASE HURRY UP? THIS IS TAKING TOO LONG. I'M ABOUT TO COME RIGHT NOW. 1058 00:45:54,978 --> 00:45:57,445 YEAH, YOU BETTER BECAUSE I'M ABOUT TO GET OUT OF HERE, OKAY? 1059 00:45:57,447 --> 00:45:59,848 I GOTTA WALK MY DOG. LITTLE DOG SHITS ALL OVER MY KITCHEN NOW. 1060 00:45:59,850 --> 00:46:01,116 UHH! AAH! 1061 00:46:01,118 --> 00:46:03,785 OW! OH, MY GOD! 1062 00:46:03,787 --> 00:46:06,387 WHAT THE FUCK?! YOU ASSHOLE! 1063 00:46:06,389 --> 00:46:08,857 YOU KNOW WHAT? WE KEEP TRACK OF THIS SHIT. 1064 00:46:08,859 --> 00:46:12,127 YOU'RE NEVER GONNA FUCK AGAIN IN THIS TOWN! 1065 00:46:12,129 --> 00:46:15,930 ( laughing ) OH, MY GOD. THAT WAS GREAT. 1066 00:46:15,932 --> 00:46:17,766 I'M SORRY! 1067 00:46:17,768 --> 00:46:20,268 ( laughter ) 1068 00:46:20,270 --> 00:46:22,504 YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'? 1069 00:46:22,506 --> 00:46:25,006 ♪ THAT LOQUACIOUS BITCH WENT ON A FRUIT JUICE RAMBLE ♪ 1070 00:46:25,008 --> 00:46:27,542 ♪ I HAD TO WHIP OUT MY DICK AND SHOOT JIZZ LIKE RAMBO ♪ 1071 00:46:27,544 --> 00:46:30,078 ABSOLUTELY. 1072 00:46:30,080 --> 00:46:33,248 SHE DRANK YOU OUT OF HOUSE AND HOME, SHE DID ALL YOUR GEAR, 1073 00:46:33,250 --> 00:46:35,917 AND THE YOU HAD TO LISTEN TO HER STUPID STORIES ALL NIGHT. 1074 00:46:35,919 --> 00:46:37,285 ( buzz ) 1075 00:46:37,287 --> 00:46:38,453 HEY. HEY, JOHNNY. 1076 00:46:38,455 --> 00:46:39,921 ( sighs ) 1077 00:46:39,923 --> 00:46:41,556 SO, WHAT ABOUT YOU, GLEN? 1078 00:46:41,558 --> 00:46:43,825 OH, DUDE, IT HAPPENED JUST LIKE YOU SAID IT WOULD. 1079 00:46:43,827 --> 00:46:45,326 SHE DIDN'T WANT TO PAY FOR IT, 1080 00:46:45,328 --> 00:46:47,095 AND BEFORE YOU CAN SAY, "THREE-DOLLAR COKE WHORE," 1081 00:46:47,097 --> 00:46:49,130 I'M CHEWING ON HER TITS LIKE A SIX-MONTH-OLD BABY. 1082 00:46:49,132 --> 00:46:50,165 ( laughing ) 1083 00:46:50,167 --> 00:46:52,167 NEXT PATIENT, PLEASE. 1084 00:46:52,169 --> 00:46:53,501 ALL RIGHT, THAT'S US, GUYS, COME ON. 1085 00:47:01,043 --> 00:47:03,044 MMM. THAT'S NICE. 1086 00:47:03,046 --> 00:47:04,579 LET ME HAVE A QUARTER. YOU GOT IT. 1087 00:47:04,581 --> 00:47:06,581 DUDE, CAN WE GET SOME? NO, DICKSHINE. 1088 00:47:06,583 --> 00:47:08,216 THIS IS ONLY IF YOU'RE SICK. 1089 00:47:08,218 --> 00:47:11,586 YOU GOTTA GET YOURS THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY. OUTSIDE. 1090 00:47:11,588 --> 00:47:13,555 DUDE, THAT'S FUCKED UP. YOU AIN'T SICK, MAN. 1091 00:47:13,557 --> 00:47:16,090 YOU KNOW I WANT SOME OF THIS SHIT. 1092 00:47:16,092 --> 00:47:18,059 HERE. YES! 1093 00:47:18,061 --> 00:47:19,327 I GUESS THIS'LL DO. 1094 00:47:19,329 --> 00:47:22,063 SO, AARON, HOW'D YOUR COKESCAPADE GO? 1095 00:47:22,065 --> 00:47:24,899 MAN, FUCK COKE! YOU KNOW? 1096 00:47:24,901 --> 00:47:26,401 HONESTLY, WE HAD A GREAT NIGHT LAST NIGHT. 1097 00:47:26,403 --> 00:47:29,404 THIS MORNING WE WOKE UP, AND I MADE HER BREAKFAST. 1098 00:47:29,406 --> 00:47:32,507 WE HAD A LOT OF FUN. DUDE, SHE'S A REALLY GOOD GIRL. 1099 00:47:32,509 --> 00:47:36,277 YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK I'M GOING TO ASK HER TO BE MY GIRLFRIEND. 1100 00:47:36,279 --> 00:47:39,214 WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? YOU'RE ALREADY FUCKING HER! 1101 00:47:39,216 --> 00:47:40,448 AND YOU KNOW WHAT? SHE'S NOT ALL MONEY-GRUBBING. 1102 00:47:40,450 --> 00:47:42,116 YEAH, MAYBE NOT YET, BUT... 1103 00:47:42,118 --> 00:47:46,921 I USED TO BE LIKE YOU. ALL WIDE-EYED AND IN LOVE. 1104 00:47:46,923 --> 00:47:49,257 IT'S OVER! COME ON, WEN, PLEASE! 1105 00:47:49,259 --> 00:47:51,893 DON'T GO WITH THIS BOOB! YOU LIKE MY HAIR AND MY SHOES, 1106 00:47:51,895 --> 00:47:54,095 BUT HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO PAY FOR IT WITH YOUR STUPID LYRICS? 1107 00:47:54,097 --> 00:47:57,232 JESUS, WEN, I'M SORRY, OKAY? COME ON. 1108 00:47:57,234 --> 00:47:59,300 GET A JOB, DICKWAD. FUCK YOU, QUEERBURGER! 1109 00:48:00,236 --> 00:48:02,003 WENDY! WENDY! 1110 00:48:02,005 --> 00:48:03,371 COME ON, MAN! 1111 00:48:03,373 --> 00:48:05,206 ...BUT I DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT ANYMORE. 1112 00:48:05,208 --> 00:48:06,641 LISTEN, THEY'RE NOT ALL LIKE THAT, BRO. 1113 00:48:06,643 --> 00:48:08,376 BLAZE OUT, BRO. 1114 00:48:08,378 --> 00:48:10,011 THANK YOU, DOCTOR. 1115 00:48:10,013 --> 00:48:12,113 HERE, COME WITH ME. LET ME SHOW YOU GUYS SOMETHING. 1116 00:48:15,150 --> 00:48:16,985 ALL RIGHT, TAKE A LOOK AROUND, WHAT DO YOU SEE? 1117 00:48:16,987 --> 00:48:18,453 TITTIES. THAT'S RIGHT. 1118 00:48:18,455 --> 00:48:21,256 YOU GOT YOUR CHERRIES, 1119 00:48:21,258 --> 00:48:23,324 APRICOTS, 1120 00:48:23,326 --> 00:48:25,126 TANGERINES, 1121 00:48:25,128 --> 00:48:26,261 LEMONS, 1122 00:48:26,263 --> 00:48:28,396 CANTALOUPES, 1123 00:48:28,398 --> 00:48:31,299 OH, AND, OF COURSE, WATERMELONS. 1124 00:48:31,301 --> 00:48:32,533 HEY, WHAT KIND OF FRUIT ARE THOSE? 1125 00:48:32,535 --> 00:48:35,136 THAT IS AN ASIAN PEAR. 1126 00:48:35,138 --> 00:48:39,607 HEY, CHECK IT OUT... A GRANNY SMITH! HA HA HA! 1127 00:48:39,609 --> 00:48:42,577 NICE. BUT, LOOK, ALL THESE TITTIES AIN'T FOR FREE. 1128 00:48:42,579 --> 00:48:44,279 CHECK OUT THIS COUPLE OVER HERE. 1129 00:48:44,281 --> 00:48:46,147 WHO DO YOU THINK PAID FOR THAT MEAL? 1130 00:48:46,149 --> 00:48:47,215 THE DUDE? 1131 00:48:47,217 --> 00:48:49,150 THAT'S RIGHT. 1132 00:48:49,152 --> 00:48:51,686 TAKE A LOOK OVER THERE. WHO'S BUYING THOSE CLOTHES? 1133 00:48:51,688 --> 00:48:53,154 DEFINITELY THE DUDE. 1134 00:48:53,156 --> 00:48:54,489 LOOK AT THIS GUY IN HERE. 1135 00:48:54,491 --> 00:48:56,557 HUNDRED BUCKS FOR THAT ROUND, AT LEAST. 1136 00:48:56,559 --> 00:48:58,426 AND TRUST ME, HE AIN'T NAILING ALL OF THEM. 1137 00:48:58,428 --> 00:49:00,028 IS HE, AARON? 1138 00:49:00,030 --> 00:49:01,963 I DON'T KNOW. 1139 00:49:01,965 --> 00:49:06,467 CHECK THIS OUT. LOOK AT THE ROCK ON HER FINGER. 1140 00:49:06,469 --> 00:49:07,468 IT'S AN ENGAGEMENT RING! 1141 00:49:07,470 --> 00:49:08,569 AND WHO PAID FOR IT? 1142 00:49:08,571 --> 00:49:10,371 THE MAN. THAT'S RIGHT. 1143 00:49:10,373 --> 00:49:12,106 AND WHEN SHE GETS HOME, SHE'S GONNA DROP THOSE PANTIES 1144 00:49:12,108 --> 00:49:14,309 LIKE MY IPHONE DROPS CALLS. 1145 00:49:14,311 --> 00:49:16,177 LOOK, ALL THESE HOLLYWOOD CHICKS WANT SOMETHING, 1146 00:49:16,179 --> 00:49:18,446 AND SEX IS THEIR CURRENCY. 1147 00:49:18,448 --> 00:49:20,315 I HAVEN'T SEEN COURTNEY DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT. 1148 00:49:20,317 --> 00:49:21,950 WHY DON'T YOU STOP BY HER WORK TONIGHT, 1149 00:49:21,952 --> 00:49:24,052 AND YOU'LL GET YOUR CHANCE? 1150 00:49:24,054 --> 00:49:26,554 YO, DUDE, MAN, WE'VE BEEN GETTING SOME WORTHY TAIL LATELY. 1151 00:49:26,556 --> 00:49:28,489 MAN, I THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO HIM. 1152 00:49:28,491 --> 00:49:30,058 YEAH, OR JUST MAKE HER YOUR GIRLFRIEND 1153 00:49:30,060 --> 00:49:31,125 AND THEN SEE OTHER ONES ON THE SIDE. 1154 00:49:31,127 --> 00:49:32,393 NO. WHY NOT? 1155 00:49:32,395 --> 00:49:34,329 NO! NO, LOOK, YOU DON'T CHEAT. 1156 00:49:34,331 --> 00:49:37,198 IT'S NOT COOL, EVER, AND THERE'S NO NEED TO. 1157 00:49:37,200 --> 00:49:40,601 LOOK, GUYS, DON'T DATE ONE CHICK THAT YOU'RE FAITHFUL TO. 1158 00:49:40,603 --> 00:49:43,204 YOU DATE LOTS OF CHICKS, YOU ROTATE THEM, 1159 00:49:43,206 --> 00:49:44,472 AND YOU BE HONEST ABOUT IT. 1160 00:49:44,474 --> 00:49:46,240 LOOK, GUYS, I ALWAYS WANTED A SON, 1161 00:49:46,242 --> 00:49:48,109 BUT AT THIS POINT, IT'S PROBABLY NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN. 1162 00:49:48,111 --> 00:49:51,112 I WANTED HIM TO BE PREPARED WHEN DEALING WITH THE UNFAIR SEX, 1163 00:49:51,114 --> 00:49:54,282 SO I RECORDED SOME LITTLE NUGGETS OF WISDOM ON THIS. 1164 00:49:54,284 --> 00:49:55,683 BUT BE CAREFUL WITH IT, ALL RIGHT? 1165 00:49:55,685 --> 00:49:57,485 THERE'S A LOT THERE. 1166 00:49:57,487 --> 00:50:01,222 GOOD LUCK PICKING UP CHICKS NOW, MOTHERFUCKER, PIECE OF SHIT! 1167 00:50:01,224 --> 00:50:03,758 I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! 1168 00:50:03,760 --> 00:50:06,194 WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T CHEAT. 1169 00:50:06,196 --> 00:50:08,496 BUT IF YOU DO, STICK TO YOUR FUCKIN' STORY. 1170 00:50:08,498 --> 00:50:11,766 PAPA SMURF CALLED! HE WANTS HIS DICK BACK! OH, YEAH?! 1171 00:50:11,768 --> 00:50:14,235 GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME, RIGHT NOW! 1172 00:50:14,237 --> 00:50:15,636 SADIE? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 1173 00:50:15,638 --> 00:50:18,773 I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! 1174 00:50:18,775 --> 00:50:21,275 IT'S MOSTLY ABOUT BEING HONEST AND STRAIGHT UP, 1175 00:50:21,277 --> 00:50:24,145 YOU KNOW, OWNING YOUR INNER PIG. 1176 00:50:32,654 --> 00:50:34,589 Woman: STILL UPSET ABOUT THE FIGHT WITH JOHNNY. 1177 00:50:34,591 --> 00:50:37,225 CAME HOME AND GOT DRUNK AND HAD SEX WITH MY NEIGHBOR FRANK. 1178 00:50:37,227 --> 00:50:38,659 IT FELT GREAT. 1179 00:50:38,661 --> 00:50:41,262 I'M SO GLAD I'M NOT A MAN ANYMORE. 1180 00:50:42,531 --> 00:50:45,400 NEVER READ YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S DIARY. 1181 00:50:45,402 --> 00:50:47,402 GIRLS LIKE A TAKE-CHARGE GUY. 1182 00:50:47,404 --> 00:50:50,405 SO YOU JUST LAY DOWN WHAT YOU WANT, 1183 00:50:50,407 --> 00:50:52,407 TELL HER YOU'RE NOT LOOKING FOR A GIRLFRIEND UPFRONT, 1184 00:50:52,409 --> 00:50:54,275 AND SHE CAN'T NEVER ACCUSE YOU OF BEING AN ASSHOLE. 1185 00:50:54,277 --> 00:50:56,411 ( moans ) YES, JOHNNY... 1186 00:50:56,413 --> 00:51:00,681 OH, THAT'S GOOD RIGHT THERE. THAT'S GOOD. AHH! 1187 00:51:00,683 --> 00:51:04,419 RIGHT THERE. OHH! NO! 1188 00:51:04,421 --> 00:51:05,820 WHAT ARE YOU STOPPING FOR? 1189 00:51:09,591 --> 00:51:11,159 WHAT THE FUCK? 1190 00:51:11,161 --> 00:51:14,195 THAT'S WEIRD. I JUST WAXED YESTERDAY. 1191 00:51:14,197 --> 00:51:17,465 NO, THIS IS NOT YOUR PUBE. YOUR PUSSY'S BALD! 1192 00:51:18,734 --> 00:51:22,703 OH, I KNOW WHO THAT WAS. THAT WAS--NEVER MIND. 1193 00:51:22,705 --> 00:51:27,241 NEVER GO DOWN ON A STRIPPER YOU JUST MET. 1194 00:51:27,243 --> 00:51:29,310 DOUBLE-BOOKING BITCH. 1195 00:51:29,312 --> 00:51:32,313 ALTHOUGH GIRLS WANT TO FUCK AND DO DRUGS, 1196 00:51:32,315 --> 00:51:33,815 THEY FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT. I MEAN, THEY WANT TO GET DOWN, 1197 00:51:33,817 --> 00:51:35,716 BUT THEY KIND OF WANT TO BE "TRICKED" INTO IT. 1198 00:51:35,718 --> 00:51:39,353 THIS IS RETARDED. BE STRAIGHT UP AND HONEST WITH THEM, 1199 00:51:39,355 --> 00:51:42,390 BUT THEN GET THEM HIGH AND WASTED AND TRICK THEM INTO IT? 1200 00:51:42,392 --> 00:51:43,724 YOU MAKE THAT SOUND LIKE IT'S A BAD THING. 1201 00:51:43,726 --> 00:51:46,327 I WISH I COULD GET DRUNK AND HIGH FOR FREE. 1202 00:51:46,329 --> 00:51:47,829 YEAH. THEY SHOULD BE THANKING US. 1203 00:51:47,831 --> 00:51:49,864 YOU GUYS ARE IDIOTS. I'M GOING TO SEE MY GIRLFRIEND. 1204 00:51:49,866 --> 00:51:52,400 THERE'S A REASON THEY CALL IT "COMMITTED," AARON. 1205 00:51:52,402 --> 00:51:55,536 YOU'RE GONNA BE AT SOME PARTY, WASTED, 1206 00:51:55,538 --> 00:51:57,205 AND SOME HOTTIE'S GONNA BE JOCKING YOU, 1207 00:51:57,207 --> 00:51:59,474 AND YOU'RE GOING TO SLIP UP, MAN. 1208 00:51:59,476 --> 00:52:01,742 I'M OUT. PFFT. 1209 00:52:01,744 --> 00:52:03,311 YO, MAN. LATERS. 1210 00:52:03,313 --> 00:52:04,545 YOU GUYS GOT YOUR ASSIGNMENTS, RIGHT? 1211 00:52:04,547 --> 00:52:05,813 JUST REMEMBER, JUST BE STRAIGHT UP, 1212 00:52:05,815 --> 00:52:07,548 AND TELL HER, "WE CAN SLEEP TOGETHER, 1213 00:52:07,550 --> 00:52:10,284 BUT I'M NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND. NO DINNERS, VALENTINES." 1214 00:52:10,286 --> 00:52:12,153 SHE CAN FIND SOME OTHER SUCKER FOR THAT. 1215 00:52:12,155 --> 00:52:14,789 HUH? I MEAN, I'M SORRY, MAN. 1216 00:52:14,791 --> 00:52:16,357 THIS CANDY BAR IS KICKING IN, MAN. 1217 00:52:16,359 --> 00:52:18,392 I KNOW WE WAS TALKING ABOUT FRUITS EARLIER, RIGHT? 1218 00:52:18,394 --> 00:52:21,195 I'M SORRY, MAN. YOU TAPE-RECORDED IT? 1219 00:52:21,197 --> 00:52:22,897 OH, NO, THAT WAS ANOTHER TAPE RECORDER. 1220 00:52:22,899 --> 00:52:26,434 I'LL REMEMBER FOR REAL, I'M SORRY. 1221 00:52:26,436 --> 00:52:29,203 Woman: ♪ FOR YOU 1222 00:52:29,205 --> 00:52:32,440 ♪ I'D TRAVEL 1223 00:52:32,442 --> 00:52:35,409 ♪ AROUND THE WORLD 1224 00:52:38,413 --> 00:52:41,716 ♪ FOR YOU 1225 00:52:41,718 --> 00:52:43,718 ♪ I'D DO 1226 00:52:43,720 --> 00:52:46,254 ♪ ANYTHING 1227 00:52:46,256 --> 00:52:48,556 ♪ 'CAUSE YOU 1228 00:52:48,558 --> 00:52:51,459 ♪ ARE EVERYTHING 1229 00:52:55,697 --> 00:52:59,600 ♪ THE FEELING IS LOVE, THE FEELING IS LOVE ♪ 1230 00:53:02,404 --> 00:53:06,207 ♪ THE FEELING IS LOVE, THE FEELING IS LOVE ♪ 1231 00:53:08,744 --> 00:53:13,281 ♪ THE FEELING IS LOVE, THE FEELING IS LOVE ♪ 1232 00:53:13,283 --> 00:53:16,684 ♪ WHEN YOU'RE AROUND, WHEN YOU'RE AROUND ♪ 1233 00:53:16,686 --> 00:53:19,253 ♪ THE FEELING IS LOVE 1234 00:53:52,588 --> 00:53:56,524 HEY, HUN, I'M GONNA SPLIT. I'M REALLY HORNY. 1235 00:53:56,526 --> 00:53:59,627 DON'T LEAVE ME WITH HIM! 1236 00:53:59,629 --> 00:54:00,995 DON'T YOU REMEMBER WHAT ELLE SAID? 1237 00:54:00,997 --> 00:54:04,632 YEAH. ELLE IS A TOTAL DRAMA QUEEN. 1238 00:54:04,634 --> 00:54:08,269 I MEAN, LOOK, HE'S REALLY NICE... 1239 00:54:08,271 --> 00:54:10,605 AND FUNNY. 1240 00:54:10,607 --> 00:54:12,940 WELL, I DON'T WANT TO GO HOME YET. 1241 00:54:12,942 --> 00:54:15,409 AND HE IS KIND OF CUTE. 1242 00:54:15,411 --> 00:54:18,479 SEE? YOU ARE GONNA BE FINE. 1243 00:54:18,481 --> 00:54:20,481 I JUST HOPE HE'S NOT AN ASSHOLE. 1244 00:54:20,483 --> 00:54:22,950 YO, MAN, YOU WANNA GO TO THIS PARTY LATER? 1245 00:54:22,952 --> 00:54:25,653 NO. IT'S GONNA SUCK. IT'S JONZO'S PLACE, MAN. 1246 00:54:25,655 --> 00:54:27,755 YO, I'M GOING HOME TO GET SOME ASS. 1247 00:54:27,757 --> 00:54:30,458 YOU SHOULD TAKE HER. SHE'S BANGING. 1248 00:54:30,460 --> 00:54:32,360 MAYBE I WILL. 1249 00:54:40,769 --> 00:54:42,403 I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW 1250 00:54:42,405 --> 00:54:44,572 THAT WE'RE GOING TO THIS PARTY JUST AS FRIENDS. 1251 00:54:44,574 --> 00:54:50,444 WELL, I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT WE'RE SPLITTING THIS CAB FARE...JUST AS FRIENDS. 1252 00:54:50,446 --> 00:54:56,417 I DON'T HAVE ANY CASH ON ME. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SUCH AN ASSHOLE? 1253 00:54:56,419 --> 00:54:57,551 ( humming ) 1254 00:54:57,553 --> 00:54:58,586 ( deep breathing ) 1255 00:54:58,588 --> 00:54:59,754 ( moaning ) 1256 00:55:00,922 --> 00:55:04,392 COURTNEY, I AM YOUR FATHER. 1257 00:55:04,394 --> 00:55:05,826 EW, GROSS. 1258 00:55:05,828 --> 00:55:07,862 ( laughing ) NO, BABE, IT'S JUST ME. 1259 00:55:07,864 --> 00:55:10,398 NO, NO, NO. YOU HAVE TO BE THE HELPLESS PRINCESS, REMEMBER? 1260 00:55:10,400 --> 00:55:12,533 YEAH, CAN YOU MAKE THAT THING VIBRATE? 1261 00:55:12,535 --> 00:55:15,403 UM, SHOOT, I DON'T THINK SO. 1262 00:55:15,405 --> 00:55:17,872 I THINK THAT'S ONLY THE DELUXE EDITION. 1263 00:55:17,874 --> 00:55:20,074 YEAH. 1264 00:55:20,076 --> 00:55:23,711 Johnny: USE HER ADDICTIONS AGAINST HER. 1265 00:55:23,713 --> 00:55:25,546 GO AHEAD, FUCK WITH THAT ONE, TOO. 1266 00:55:25,548 --> 00:55:26,981 ALL RIGHT. 1267 00:55:26,983 --> 00:55:28,849 Johnny: OWN YOUR INNER PIG. 1268 00:55:28,851 --> 00:55:30,318 HERE YOU GO. 1269 00:55:30,320 --> 00:55:32,687 NO, I'M GOOD. I'VE GOT A DEADLINE. 1270 00:55:32,689 --> 00:55:36,023 I COULD REALLY USE TOMORROW TO CATCH UP. SO... 1271 00:55:36,025 --> 00:55:39,360 ARE YOU FOR REAL? I MEAN, I JUST GOT HIGH. 1272 00:55:39,362 --> 00:55:42,630 IF YOU LIKE, I CAN BLOW EVERYTHING OFF THAT I GOT TO DO TOMORROW, 1273 00:55:42,632 --> 00:55:47,501 AND WE CAN HAVE SOME FUN, BUT I GOTTA LET YOU KNOW THAT AT SOME POINT, 1274 00:55:47,503 --> 00:55:50,104 WE'RE PROBABLY GOING TO BE HIGH AND DRUNK AND IN MY BED, 1275 00:55:50,106 --> 00:55:53,107 AND I'M GOING TO NEED TO BUST A NUT. NEED TO? 1276 00:55:53,109 --> 00:55:57,111 YEAH. I MEAN, I'M SORRY FOR BEING SO HONEST AND OPEN ABOUT IT, 1277 00:55:57,113 --> 00:56:00,715 BUT IF YOU DON'T LIKE THAT, THEN MAYBE WE SHOULD MEET FOR COFFEE SOMETIME 1278 00:56:00,717 --> 00:56:03,884 AND REALLY GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER, TAKE IT NICE AND SLOW... 1279 00:56:03,886 --> 00:56:05,653 FINE. 1280 00:56:05,655 --> 00:56:07,555 FINE FOR THE NUTBUSTING? 1281 00:56:08,790 --> 00:56:10,725 WHATEVER. 1282 00:56:10,727 --> 00:56:13,994 JUST FILL UP MY DRINK, PLEASE. 1283 00:56:13,996 --> 00:56:16,864 DID YOU KNOW THAT WHEN A MAN ORGASMS 1284 00:56:16,866 --> 00:56:22,536 IT RELEASES A CHEMICAL THAT'S 20 TIMES STRONGER THAN A NORMAL SLEEPING PILL? 1285 00:56:24,539 --> 00:56:26,774 THIS IS SOME LADY AND THE TRAMP SHIT RIGHT HERE. 1286 00:56:26,776 --> 00:56:28,642 ( laughing ) 1287 00:56:34,716 --> 00:56:39,520 I SHOULDN'T EVEN BE HERE. YOU'VE BEEN FLAGGED ON THE DATERBASE. 1288 00:56:39,522 --> 00:56:42,556 NOBODY HAS TO KNOW. WHAT'S A DATERBASE? 1289 00:56:42,558 --> 00:56:45,126 JUST SHUT UP AND KISS ME. 1290 00:56:45,128 --> 00:56:47,962 OH, YEAH. OH. OH, YEAH. 1291 00:56:50,065 --> 00:56:53,134 ( crickets chirping, owl hooting ) 1292 00:56:56,671 --> 00:56:58,606 BABE, WHERE DID YOU GET THAT OUTFIT? 1293 00:56:58,608 --> 00:57:01,409 THANK YOU. IT'S MY APRON. 1294 00:57:01,411 --> 00:57:02,977 I WORE IT UNDER MY DRESS LAST NIGHT 1295 00:57:02,979 --> 00:57:06,514 SO I COULD COOK YOU BREAKFAST IN THE MORNING. 1296 00:57:06,516 --> 00:57:09,984 AH, I AM TAKING YOU OUT. BABY, DO YOU WANNA GO TO THE ZOO? 1297 00:57:09,986 --> 00:57:14,488 YES! I LOVE THE ZOO. ANIMALS ARE MY FAVORITE. 1298 00:57:14,490 --> 00:57:16,891 OH, ME TOO. THAT'S PERFECT. IT'S A DONE DEAL. WE'RE DOING IT. 1299 00:57:16,893 --> 00:57:18,926 UM, BABE, CHECK OUT MY... 1300 00:57:18,928 --> 00:57:20,828 TROUSER ELEPHANT. 1301 00:57:20,830 --> 00:57:22,863 HA HA HA. 1302 00:57:22,865 --> 00:57:25,766 DO YOU WANT ME TO COME PULL ITS TRUNK? 1303 00:57:26,735 --> 00:57:28,469 ( elephant trumpets ) 1304 00:57:29,738 --> 00:57:31,972 SO...YOU GONNA TAKE ME TO BREAKFAST? 1305 00:57:31,974 --> 00:57:34,675 ( laughs ) BREAKFAST?! AIN'T NO BREAKFAST, BABY. 1306 00:57:34,677 --> 00:57:37,711 I DON'T ROLL LIKE THAT. YOU HAD FUN LAST NIGHT, RIGHT? 1307 00:57:37,713 --> 00:57:39,880 YEAH. EVENTUALLY. 1308 00:57:39,882 --> 00:57:42,983 HEY, THAT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH MY PERFORMANCE. THAT WAS THE COKE. 1309 00:57:42,985 --> 00:57:45,886 ANYWAYS, IF WANT SOMEBODY TO TAKE YOU OUT TO DINNER ALL THE TIME 1310 00:57:45,888 --> 00:57:47,688 AND CALL YOU UP EVERY DAY, 1311 00:57:47,690 --> 00:57:50,057 THAT AIN'T ME. THAT'S BOYFRIEND TERRITORY. 1312 00:57:50,059 --> 00:57:52,860 LOOK, I'M JUST HUNGRY. 1313 00:57:52,862 --> 00:57:54,995 YOU DON'T GOTTA BE SUCH AN ASSHOLE. 1314 00:57:54,997 --> 00:57:57,698 IT'S LIKE YOU'RE GOING TO SOME ASSHOLE SCHOOL OR SOMETHING. 1315 00:57:57,700 --> 00:57:58,933 PSHH. WHATEVER. 1316 00:57:58,935 --> 00:58:00,701 DICK. 1317 00:58:00,703 --> 00:58:02,670 Johnny: IF SHE'S ASKING FOR TOO MUCH CAB FARE, 1318 00:58:02,672 --> 00:58:04,538 TAKE A TWENTY OUT OF HER PURSE WHILE SHE'S IN THE BATHROOM 1319 00:58:04,540 --> 00:58:06,040 AND GIVE IT TO HER. 1320 00:58:06,042 --> 00:58:08,776 IT'S NOT STEALING IF YOU GIVE IT BACK. 1321 00:58:08,778 --> 00:58:10,644 DUDE, THIS STUFF IS GOLD! 1322 00:58:10,646 --> 00:58:13,047 HEY, AARON, THOUGHT YOU'D BE MARRIED OFF BY NOW. 1323 00:58:13,049 --> 00:58:14,915 UM, SHE'S A GOOD GIRL. IT COULD HAPPEN. 1324 00:58:14,917 --> 00:58:17,184 UH, JUST KEEPING MY OPTIONS OPEN FOR NOW. 1325 00:58:17,186 --> 00:58:18,652 YEAH, WHAT ABOUT YOU, MAX? HOW'S IT GOING? 1326 00:58:18,654 --> 00:58:21,121 OH, MAN, SHIT WENT PERFECT, YO. 1327 00:58:21,123 --> 00:58:22,690 IT'S JUST ONE THING, THOUGH, MAN... 1328 00:58:22,692 --> 00:58:23,991 SO WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? 1329 00:58:23,993 --> 00:58:26,093 WITH THE COKE AND THE CONDOMS, MAN... 1330 00:58:26,095 --> 00:58:29,630 I KIND OF HAD A LITTLE BIT OF PERFORMANCE ANXIETY. 1331 00:58:29,632 --> 00:58:32,633 REALLY? WHAT, ARE YOU GAY NOW? 1332 00:58:32,635 --> 00:58:36,637 ALL YOU NEED IS... ONE OF THESE. 1333 00:58:38,139 --> 00:58:40,107 WHAT'S THAT, MAN? 1334 00:58:40,109 --> 00:58:44,545 UGH. DUDE, WHY'S IT ALL SLIPPERY? WHAT IS THAT? 1335 00:58:44,547 --> 00:58:46,514 THAT'S JUST LUBE. IT'S MY COCK RING. 1336 00:58:46,516 --> 00:58:48,716 OHH! WHAT THE FUCK! ARE YOU KIDDING? 1337 00:58:48,718 --> 00:58:51,719 GUYS, I'M TELLING YOU, NO MATTER WHAT STATE I'M IN, 1338 00:58:51,721 --> 00:58:55,623 IT KEEPS ME TURGID, AND IT ALWAYS, ALWAYS GET'S ME OFF. 1339 00:58:55,625 --> 00:58:57,758 YO, I PUT THAT SHIT ON MY NOSE, YO! 1340 00:58:57,760 --> 00:58:59,126 AND WHAT THE FUCK IS "TURGID"? 1341 00:58:59,128 --> 00:59:01,228 "TURGID" MEANS HARD. HOW DUMB ARE YOU? 1342 00:59:01,230 --> 00:59:04,632 OH, I'M GONNA USE THAT SHIT. "GIRL, YOU GOT MY DICK TURGID." 1343 00:59:04,634 --> 00:59:06,767 AND I KNOW WITH ALL THE ALCOHOL AND THE DRUGS, 1344 00:59:06,769 --> 00:59:10,838 SOMETIMES IT'S A LITTLE TOUGH, SO I ALWAYS KEEP ONE OF THESE BABIES AROUND. 1345 00:59:10,840 --> 00:59:12,873 THOSE ARE LIKE 50 BUCKS EACH. EVERY TIME? 1346 00:59:12,875 --> 00:59:14,775 JESUS, FUCKFACE. 1347 00:59:14,777 --> 00:59:18,546 LOOK, YOU GENTLY TAKE IT OUT OF THE BOX, YOU CAREFULLY CUT IT OPEN. 1348 00:59:18,548 --> 00:59:21,715 EVERY TIME YOU USE IT, YOU PUT IT IN THE DISHWASHER, GOOD AS NEW. 1349 00:59:21,717 --> 00:59:23,050 OH, YEAH. ECONOMICAL. 1350 00:59:23,052 --> 00:59:24,818 YEAH, BUT WHAT ABOUT CONDOMS? 1351 00:59:24,820 --> 00:59:26,554 MAN, I HATE CONDOMS, MAN. 1352 00:59:26,556 --> 00:59:29,256 IT'S LIKE EATING A SNICKERS WITH THE WRAPPER ON. 1353 00:59:29,258 --> 00:59:31,292 LOOK, THE FIRST COUPLE OF TIMES YOU KIND OF HAVE TO, BOYS. 1354 00:59:31,294 --> 00:59:33,160 FUCK THAT. JUST DO WHAT I DO. 1355 00:59:33,162 --> 00:59:36,063 YOU CUT A HOLE RIGHT IN THE TIP OF THE CONDOM, RIGHT? 1356 00:59:36,065 --> 00:59:37,932 JUST LIKE THAT. 1357 00:59:37,934 --> 00:59:40,134 AND IT WEARS AWAY AS YOU GET GOING, THEN IT BREAKS. 1358 00:59:40,136 --> 00:59:42,069 THE BEAUTY OF IT IS, WHEN SHE LOOKS DOWN, 1359 00:59:42,071 --> 00:59:43,871 IT STILL LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE WEARING ONE. 1360 00:59:43,873 --> 00:59:46,073 I JUST TOLD HER IT RIPPED BECAUSE MY DICK'S TOO BIG. 1361 00:59:46,075 --> 00:59:51,245 DUDE, THAT IS FUCKED UP ON SO MANY LEVELS, I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN. 1362 00:59:51,247 --> 00:59:52,813 WHAT? 1363 00:59:52,815 --> 00:59:54,214 "WHAT?" 1364 00:59:54,216 --> 00:59:56,216 LET ME SHOW YOU SOMETHING. 1365 00:59:56,218 --> 00:59:58,819 ONE IN FOUR PEOPLE HAVE HERPES. 1366 00:59:58,821 --> 01:00:01,255 ONE IN FOUR WARTS. 1367 01:00:01,257 --> 01:00:05,926 THROW IN CHLAMYDIA, CRABS, U.T.I., 1368 01:00:05,928 --> 01:00:09,663 THEN YOU RAMP IT UP BECAUSE WE'RE IN HOLLYWOOD... 1369 01:00:09,665 --> 01:00:11,165 AND THE CHANCES THAT ONE OF THESE CHICKS 1370 01:00:11,167 --> 01:00:15,803 THAT YOU GUYS ARE TAKING HOME HAS "SOMETHING" IS ABOUT... 1371 01:00:19,374 --> 01:00:20,808 72%. 1372 01:00:24,379 --> 01:00:26,347 GRETCHEN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 1373 01:00:26,349 --> 01:00:30,017 OH, I'M PUTTING A FABRIC SOFTENER SHEET DOWN MY PANTS 1374 01:00:30,019 --> 01:00:33,153 SO LATER TONIGHT WHEN I TAKE MY JEANS OFF, 1375 01:00:33,155 --> 01:00:35,055 IT'LL BE NICE AND FRESH DOWN THERE. 1376 01:00:35,057 --> 01:00:36,690 THAT'S NOT A BAD IDEA. 1377 01:00:36,692 --> 01:00:37,891 RIGHT? 1378 01:00:37,893 --> 01:00:39,727 DOES THAT MAKE YOUR SKIN SOFT? 1379 01:00:39,729 --> 01:00:42,863 OH, GOD, I HOPE IT DOESN'T MAKE HIS DICK SOFTER! UGH! 1380 01:00:42,865 --> 01:00:44,865 I GOT A DATE TONIGHT. LET ME TRY SOME OF THAT. 1381 01:00:44,867 --> 01:00:46,667 SO ARE YOU GIRLS ALL SET FOR THE INITIATION? 1382 01:00:46,669 --> 01:00:48,202 YEAH, WE ARE. 1383 01:00:48,204 --> 01:00:52,006 YEAH. OH. CAN I STILL JOIN IF I HAVE GOT A BOYFRIEND? 1384 01:00:52,008 --> 01:00:55,676 HE BETTER GO DOWNY ON ME AFTER ALL THAT TROUBLE! 1385 01:00:55,678 --> 01:00:57,678 NO. THAT DEFIES THE WHOLE POINT. 1386 01:00:57,680 --> 01:01:00,047 WELL, UNLESS YOU'RE USING HIM FOR SOMETHING. 1387 01:01:00,049 --> 01:01:03,283 I JUST LIKE HIM. I LIKE THE WAY HIS HAIR SMELLS, 1388 01:01:03,285 --> 01:01:07,388 I LIKE HIS SMILE, I LIKE WAKING UP NEXT TO HIM, I LIKE HIS COCK. 1389 01:01:07,390 --> 01:01:09,890 COURTNEY, COURTNEY, YOU CANNOT SEE THIS GUY ANYMORE. 1390 01:01:09,892 --> 01:01:11,191 WHAT? WHY? 1391 01:01:11,193 --> 01:01:13,060 BECAUSE HE WILL DICK YOU OVER. 1392 01:01:13,062 --> 01:01:15,295 WE JUST DON'T WANT YOU TO MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE WE MADE. 1393 01:01:15,297 --> 01:01:18,032 IF IT'S SEX YOU WANT, WE'LL FIND A GUY FOR YOU. 1394 01:01:18,034 --> 01:01:20,834 WHAT DO YOU WANT, DO YOU WANT A NERD, DO YOU WANT A BAD BOY? 1395 01:01:20,836 --> 01:01:22,169 WHAT, AND I JUST FUCK THEM? 1396 01:01:22,171 --> 01:01:24,038 FIRST, YOU HAVE TO EXPLAIN TO HIM 1397 01:01:24,040 --> 01:01:25,773 THAT HE CAN'T CALL YOU AFTERWARDS, 1398 01:01:25,775 --> 01:01:27,341 AND IF HE SEES YOU OUT SOMEWHERE, 1399 01:01:27,343 --> 01:01:29,276 HE'S GOTTA WALK IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION. 1400 01:01:29,278 --> 01:01:32,746 THAT'S CRAZY. I REALLY, REALLY LIKE THIS GUY. 1401 01:01:32,748 --> 01:01:34,348 I KNOW, BUT IT'S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. 1402 01:01:34,350 --> 01:01:36,083 NOW, YVONNE, 1403 01:01:36,085 --> 01:01:37,918 DID THE DOCTOR SET A DATE FOR YOUR IMPROVEMENTS YET? 1404 01:01:37,920 --> 01:01:39,386 YEAH. THREE WEEKS. 1405 01:01:39,388 --> 01:01:40,921 I KNEW HE WOULD DRAG IT OUT A BIT. 1406 01:01:40,923 --> 01:01:42,322 A FEW DAYS IN OUTPATIENT, 1407 01:01:42,324 --> 01:01:43,824 AND YOU'LL NEVER HAVE TO SEE HIM AGAIN! 1408 01:01:43,826 --> 01:01:44,992 RIGHT ON. 1409 01:02:03,344 --> 01:02:04,778 ( knock on door ) 1410 01:02:06,881 --> 01:02:08,015 HEY. 1411 01:02:08,950 --> 01:02:11,752 AH-AH-AH. 1412 01:02:11,754 --> 01:02:13,220 ( sighs ) 1413 01:02:25,200 --> 01:02:26,500 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE BY YOURSELF? 1414 01:02:26,502 --> 01:02:28,769 OH, MY GOD, YOU REMIND ME OF BEETLEJUICE. 1415 01:02:28,771 --> 01:02:30,204 REMEMBER THOSE LEGS THAT WAS SITTING BY THEMSELVES? 1416 01:02:30,206 --> 01:02:31,305 I KNOW WHO YOU ARE! 1417 01:02:31,307 --> 01:02:32,806 WHERE YOU KNOW ME FROM? 1418 01:02:32,808 --> 01:02:35,442 DISHONORABLE DISCHARGE. NASTY. 1419 01:02:35,444 --> 01:02:37,111 MAN, WHAT? MAN, THIS LOOKS LIKE SOME-- 1420 01:02:37,113 --> 01:02:39,379 HEY, THIS AIN'T EVEN TRUE. THEY TRYING TO SET ME UP. 1421 01:02:39,381 --> 01:02:42,916 THEY TRYING TO SAY I DISHONORABLY DISCHARGED, BUT THAT EVEN TRUE. 1422 01:02:47,255 --> 01:02:48,355 OHH! 1423 01:02:48,357 --> 01:02:49,389 OH, FUCK! 1424 01:02:49,391 --> 01:02:51,091 OH, SHIT. OH, MAN, SORRY, MAN. 1425 01:02:51,093 --> 01:02:52,359 FUCK. 1426 01:02:52,361 --> 01:02:54,361 I KNOW THAT GUY. 1427 01:02:56,998 --> 01:02:58,799 DID YOU DO SOME? 1428 01:02:58,801 --> 01:03:00,934 NO. HE JUST CAME BY TONIGHT. 1429 01:03:00,936 --> 01:03:02,436 THERE'S NOTHING IN HERE. 1430 01:03:02,438 --> 01:03:04,004 I KNOW. 1431 01:03:04,006 --> 01:03:05,239 ARE YOU SLEEPING WITH HIM? 1432 01:03:05,241 --> 01:03:07,107 NO. 1433 01:03:07,109 --> 01:03:09,977 I JUST GET SO HORNY. 1434 01:03:09,979 --> 01:03:12,813 WE ALL GET A LITTLE BIT HORMONAL SOMETIMES, 1435 01:03:12,815 --> 01:03:15,449 BUT, NEXT TIME, SPECIFY AN AMOUNT, 1436 01:03:15,451 --> 01:03:19,787 OR HE'S GONNA HAVE YOU WHORING YOURSELF OUT FOR LITTLE KIBBLES, OKAY? 1437 01:03:19,789 --> 01:03:21,188 NO, YOU'RE RIGHT. 1438 01:03:21,190 --> 01:03:24,558 WENDY, CAN I TALK TO YOU A LITTLE BIT LATER? 1439 01:03:24,560 --> 01:03:27,027 OKAY. 1440 01:03:27,029 --> 01:03:28,896 ( sighs ) 1441 01:03:29,931 --> 01:03:33,033 OKAY, LADIES, AS YOU KNOW, 1442 01:03:33,035 --> 01:03:37,504 YVONNE WILL BE GETTING HER ENHANCEMENTS THIS WEEK, THUS ELIGIBLE FOR MEMBERSHIP. 1443 01:03:37,506 --> 01:03:39,239 ( cheering ) 1444 01:03:39,241 --> 01:03:41,074 WHAT DAY, YVONNE? 1445 01:03:41,076 --> 01:03:43,911 HE SAYS I GO IN ON FRIDAY, AND I'LL BE OUT BY SATURDAY. 1446 01:03:43,913 --> 01:03:46,146 SO SATURDAY NIGHT. DOES THAT WORK FOR EVERYONE? 1447 01:03:46,148 --> 01:03:47,347 YEAH. YES. YES. 1448 01:03:47,349 --> 01:03:48,882 OOH OOH! 1449 01:03:59,460 --> 01:04:04,231 15 SECONDS. EXCELLENT WORK, MAX. CONGRATS ALL AROUND. 1450 01:04:04,233 --> 01:04:07,234 IT'S NICE TO SEE YOUR STABLES DEVELOPING. I'M UP TO FOUR NOW. 1451 01:04:07,236 --> 01:04:09,570 YOU STILL TAKING DRUGS TO THAT STRIPPER CHICK? YUP. 1452 01:04:09,572 --> 01:04:12,139 SHE'S FUCKING YOU NOW RIGHT? LIKE I'M JOHNNY DEPP. 1453 01:04:12,141 --> 01:04:15,375 NICE. AND NOW CAN BRING AS MUCH OR AS LITTLE AS YOU LIKE. 1454 01:04:15,377 --> 01:04:17,077 DUDE, I'M GETTING LAID FOR DUB-SACKS! 1455 01:04:17,079 --> 01:04:18,078 SWEET! 1456 01:04:18,080 --> 01:04:20,881 UM, WHERE'S COURTNEY? 1457 01:04:20,883 --> 01:04:22,583 SHE SAID SHE CAN'T COME ANYMORE. 1458 01:04:22,585 --> 01:04:24,284 WHY NOT? 1459 01:04:24,286 --> 01:04:26,320 BECAUSE SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND NOW, 1460 01:04:26,322 --> 01:04:29,890 AND SHE SAID IT WOULD BE UNFAIR TO COME TO A MAN-HATING GROUP. 1461 01:04:29,892 --> 01:04:31,558 WHAT? WHAT? WHATEVER. 1462 01:04:31,560 --> 01:04:33,493 WE DON'T HATE MEN. 1463 01:04:33,495 --> 01:04:35,295 WE JUST KEEP THEM ON TASK, SWEETIE. 1464 01:04:35,297 --> 01:04:36,496 SO WHAT ABOUT YOU, AARON? 1465 01:04:36,498 --> 01:04:38,098 I'VE BEEN DABBLING, 1466 01:04:38,100 --> 01:04:39,900 BUT THERE'S REALLY ONLY ONE GIRL FOR ME. 1467 01:04:39,902 --> 01:04:41,535 YEAH, WHEN SHE'S IN TOWN. 1468 01:04:41,537 --> 01:04:42,536 OH! OH HO HO! 1469 01:04:42,538 --> 01:04:43,904 WHAT? 1470 01:04:43,906 --> 01:04:45,105 IT'S THAT COURTNEY AGAIN, RIGHT? 1471 01:04:45,107 --> 01:04:46,273 YEAH. 1472 01:04:46,275 --> 01:04:48,041 DOES SHE KNOW ABOUT YOUR OTHER CHICKS? 1473 01:04:48,043 --> 01:04:50,911 UH, THAT'S NOT SOMETHING I LIKE TO BRING UP. 1474 01:04:50,913 --> 01:04:52,145 YEAH, BUT YOU'RE ROTATING HER, RIGHT? 1475 01:04:52,147 --> 01:04:53,647 WHAT? 1476 01:04:53,649 --> 01:04:55,549 HOW OFTEN DO YOU SEE HER? 1477 01:04:55,551 --> 01:04:57,918 I DON'T KNOW, LIKE TWO, THREE, FOUR TIMES A WEEK. 1478 01:04:57,920 --> 01:05:00,354 AARON, YOU HAVE TO ROTATE THEM. 1479 01:05:00,356 --> 01:05:02,022 SHE'LL BE BACK. 1480 01:05:02,024 --> 01:05:04,024 I HOPE SO. I REALLY LIKED HER. 1481 01:05:04,026 --> 01:05:05,125 I REALLY LIKED HER, TOO. 1482 01:05:05,127 --> 01:05:06,627 I THINK SHE'S REALLY INTO HIM. 1483 01:05:06,629 --> 01:05:09,263 AARON, RIGHT? SHORT, DUMB-LOOKING? 1484 01:05:09,265 --> 01:05:10,564 ( laughter ) 1485 01:05:10,566 --> 01:05:13,133 THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS, HE'S A MAN, 1486 01:05:13,135 --> 01:05:14,601 AND HE'S HARDWIRED TO CHEAT. 1487 01:05:14,603 --> 01:05:16,536 OH, I THINK HE ALREADY DID. 1488 01:05:16,538 --> 01:05:18,372 WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? 1489 01:05:18,374 --> 01:05:21,275 I SAW LAST WEEK HIM AT A PARTY ALL OVER SOME UGLY-ASS GIRL. 1490 01:05:21,277 --> 01:05:23,610 LAST SATURDAY AT ROSS'S? YEAH. 1491 01:05:23,612 --> 01:05:26,947 WAS THAT GUY MAX THERE? YEAH. 1492 01:05:26,949 --> 01:05:28,148 ( warbling sounds ) 1493 01:05:28,150 --> 01:05:30,050 MY EARRING COLLECTION IS GROWING DAILY. 1494 01:05:30,052 --> 01:05:32,386 AH, YES. THE "LEAVE BEHIND." 1495 01:05:32,388 --> 01:05:34,554 DO THEY MEAN TO LEAVE THIS SHIT AT YOUR APARTMENT 1496 01:05:34,556 --> 01:05:37,391 OR ARE THEY JUST TOO HUNGOVER TO REMEMBER? WHO KNOWS? 1497 01:05:37,393 --> 01:05:42,396 IT'S LIKE HOW DO THEY NOT KNOW THAT THEY LEAVE NOT WEARING THEIR OWN PANTIES? 1498 01:05:42,398 --> 01:05:44,097 THAT SHIT IS DUMB! 1499 01:05:44,099 --> 01:05:46,433 LET ME SEE THIS HAIRCLIP. WHERE DID YOU GET THIS? 1500 01:05:46,435 --> 01:05:49,369 I NEEDED IT ONE MORNING, AND THE GUY I WAS WITH GAVE IT TO ME. 1501 01:05:49,371 --> 01:05:50,504 MAX? 1502 01:05:50,506 --> 01:05:52,572 THE GUY THAT JIZZED ON ME? YEAH. 1503 01:05:52,574 --> 01:05:55,142 THIS IS MY HAIRCLIP. I WAS WITH HIM LAST WEEK. 1504 01:05:55,144 --> 01:05:56,410 YOU'VE BEEN HANGING OUT WITH HIM? 1505 01:05:56,412 --> 01:05:57,978 WE JUST HOOKED UP A COUPLE OF TIMES. 1506 01:05:57,980 --> 01:05:59,346 I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE SEEING HIM. 1507 01:05:59,348 --> 01:06:01,081 I TOLD YOU THAT I LIKED HIM. 1508 01:06:01,083 --> 01:06:02,582 WHATEVER. NOW YOU OWN HIM. 1509 01:06:02,584 --> 01:06:05,285 JASMINE! YVONNE! JASMINE! YVONNE! 1510 01:06:05,287 --> 01:06:06,553 WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? 1511 01:06:06,555 --> 01:06:08,322 I DON'T KNOW. WHAT IS GOING ON? 1512 01:06:08,324 --> 01:06:11,658 WAIT A MINUTE. IS THIS THE MAX THAT ELLE FLAGGED? 1513 01:06:11,660 --> 01:06:12,693 Elle: THAT ASSHOLE?! 1514 01:06:12,695 --> 01:06:14,294 THIS IS FUCKING OUTRAGEOUS! 1515 01:06:14,296 --> 01:06:16,029 WHY DO WE EVEN KEEP A DATERBASE 1516 01:06:16,031 --> 01:06:17,297 IF YOU GUYS CAN'T EVEN FOLLOW IT? 1517 01:06:17,299 --> 01:06:18,565 THE WHOLE POINT OF THE T.O.B. CLUB 1518 01:06:18,567 --> 01:06:20,968 IS FOR SHIT LIKE THIS NOT TO HAPPEN. 1519 01:06:20,970 --> 01:06:23,503 COURTNEY'S DUDE IS CHEATING ON HER. 1520 01:06:23,505 --> 01:06:25,405 YOU'RE GETTING RIPPED OFF BY YOUR COKE GUY, 1521 01:06:25,407 --> 01:06:27,174 AND THE TWO OF YOU 1522 01:06:27,176 --> 01:06:29,376 ARE IN SOME SORT OF T.O.B. CERTIFIED SCUMBAG'S STABLE. 1523 01:06:29,378 --> 01:06:30,510 SCUM! 1524 01:06:30,512 --> 01:06:32,279 WE HAVE STABLES. 1525 01:06:32,281 --> 01:06:35,615 THAT'S WHY THEY'RE CALLED STABLE BOYS, OKAY? 1526 01:06:35,617 --> 01:06:39,119 THIS IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS. COULD ANYTHING ELSE GO WRONG? 1527 01:06:39,121 --> 01:06:40,220 ( crying ) I'M PREGNANT! 1528 01:06:40,222 --> 01:06:42,089 OH, SWEETIE! 1529 01:06:42,091 --> 01:06:44,057 IT'S OKAY. 1530 01:06:44,059 --> 01:06:45,225 ARE YOU GONNA HAVE IT? 1531 01:06:45,227 --> 01:06:47,227 I DON'T THINK SO. 1532 01:06:47,229 --> 01:06:48,762 GOOD. GOOD. 1533 01:06:48,764 --> 01:06:52,165 DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT A THING. 1534 01:06:52,167 --> 01:06:54,301 REALLY? YEAH. 1535 01:06:54,303 --> 01:06:56,470 WE'LL FIX ALL OF THIS TOGETHER. 1536 01:06:56,472 --> 01:07:00,240 NOW, HOW MANY MEN HAVE YOU BEEN SLEEPING WITH? TWO OR THREE. 1537 01:07:00,242 --> 01:07:04,011 GRETCHEN. NOT IN THE LAST WEEK, GRETCHEN, 1538 01:07:04,013 --> 01:07:05,412 THE LAST THREE MONTHS? 1539 01:07:05,414 --> 01:07:10,183 MAYBE SEVEN OR EIGHT. OH, PLUS THE DRUG GUY. 1540 01:07:10,185 --> 01:07:11,585 ARE YOU THINKING WHAT I'M THINKING? 1541 01:07:11,587 --> 01:07:14,454 Both: ABORTION EXTORTION. 1542 01:07:17,025 --> 01:07:19,126 "IN 1934, 1543 01:07:19,128 --> 01:07:22,195 "HITLER ELIMINATED ALL OF HIS OPPOSITION IN ONE NIGHT. 1544 01:07:22,197 --> 01:07:24,564 IT WAS CALLED 'THE NIGHT OF THE LONG KNIVES.'" 1545 01:07:24,566 --> 01:07:27,534 THIS FRIDAY, OUR TIME WILL COME. 1546 01:07:27,536 --> 01:07:29,269 WE'RE GOING TO TEACH THESE CRETINS A LESSON 1547 01:07:29,271 --> 01:07:31,538 THEY'RE NEVER GONNA FORGET. YEAH, WE WILL. 1548 01:07:31,540 --> 01:07:33,407 THERE'S SOMETHING I DON'T UNDERSTAND. 1549 01:07:33,409 --> 01:07:35,809 WE MET ONE OF THESE PESTS THREE MONTHS AGO 1550 01:07:35,811 --> 01:07:37,077 WHEN WE GOT THOSE T-SHIRTS MADE, 1551 01:07:37,079 --> 01:07:38,678 AND HE WAS A BIG FAT LOSER. 1552 01:07:38,680 --> 01:07:42,582 NOW HIM AND HIS BUDDIES ARE WREAKING HAVOC ON US! HOW? 1553 01:07:42,584 --> 01:07:47,254 YES, IT FEELS LIKE SOMEBODY ELSE IS BEHIND THIS. 1554 01:07:47,256 --> 01:07:48,422 ANOTHER GIRL GANG? 1555 01:07:48,424 --> 01:07:50,390 ( gasps ) THE ECHO PARK PUTAS? 1556 01:07:50,392 --> 01:07:51,591 SILVERLAKE SKANKS? 1557 01:07:51,593 --> 01:07:52,793 THE THREE ONE HOES? 1558 01:07:52,795 --> 01:07:54,528 THE LOS FELIZ LESBOS? 1559 01:07:54,530 --> 01:07:58,131 WHO KNOWS? BUT BY SACRIFICING ONE OF OUR OWN, 1560 01:07:58,133 --> 01:08:01,301 THEY'LL GET THE MESSAGE THAT WE WE'RE NOT PLAYING AROUND. 1561 01:08:01,303 --> 01:08:06,673 SOMETHING ABOUT THIS SEEMS FAMILIAR. 1562 01:08:06,675 --> 01:08:09,276 IS IT A MAN, A PLAYER OUT FOR REVENGE? 1563 01:08:09,278 --> 01:08:13,847 SLICE, GRETCHEN, ELLE, I WANT YOU TO HIT THE STREETS. 1564 01:08:13,849 --> 01:08:16,183 TALK TO YOUR PEOPLE, BUST SOME BALLS... 1565 01:08:16,185 --> 01:08:17,851 SUCK THEM IF YOU HAVE TO, 1566 01:08:17,853 --> 01:08:20,387 BUT FIND OUT WHO IS PULLING THE STRINGS. 1567 01:08:20,389 --> 01:08:21,855 WE WILL. GOOD. 1568 01:08:21,857 --> 01:08:23,256 THEN TASSELING IN, NEXT SATURDAY, 1569 01:08:23,258 --> 01:08:25,592 YVONNE WILL GET HER BOOBS, 1570 01:08:25,594 --> 01:08:27,661 COURTNEY WILL BE BACK IN THE GANG, 1571 01:08:27,663 --> 01:08:30,564 AND THESE FOOLS WILL RUE THE DAY THAT THEY CROSSED US. 1572 01:08:30,566 --> 01:08:31,731 YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! 1573 01:08:31,733 --> 01:08:33,266 NIGHT OF THE LONG NAILS. 1574 01:08:33,268 --> 01:08:35,569 ( cheering ) 1575 01:08:37,271 --> 01:08:40,574 WHY ARE WE DRINKING BRANDY? 1576 01:08:40,576 --> 01:08:42,709 'CAUSE CHURCHILL USED TO DRINK IT. 1577 01:08:42,711 --> 01:08:46,613 OH, YEAH. THAT JAMAICAN GUY YOU USED TO DATE. HE WAS SO HOT. 1578 01:08:46,615 --> 01:08:48,148 LOVED HIM. 1579 01:08:48,150 --> 01:08:49,349 THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY. 1580 01:08:49,351 --> 01:08:52,285 AND? LOOK, ALL I KNOW IS THAT IT WORKS, 1581 01:08:52,287 --> 01:08:53,887 AND YOUR CLIENTS LOVE IT, RIGHT? 1582 01:08:53,889 --> 01:08:56,456 THEY'RE PATIENTS. 1583 01:08:56,458 --> 01:09:00,594 YES, THE RESULTS ARE IMPRESSIVE. 1584 01:09:00,596 --> 01:09:02,529 THANK YOU. 1585 01:09:02,531 --> 01:09:06,199 BUT BEFORE YOU GO, YOU'RE A BIT OF LADIES MAN, RIGHT? 1586 01:09:06,201 --> 01:09:07,434 YEAH, I HAVE MY MOMENTS. 1587 01:09:07,436 --> 01:09:09,503 I HAVE A BIT OF A PROBLEM HERE. 1588 01:09:09,505 --> 01:09:13,173 EVERY NOW AND THEN I MEET A GIRL THAT I LIKE, 1589 01:09:13,175 --> 01:09:15,542 ONE THAT SEEMS ALMOST TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, 1590 01:09:15,544 --> 01:09:18,445 THEN I DO SOME WORK ON HER, AND SHE DISAPPEARS. 1591 01:09:18,447 --> 01:09:21,214 MM-HMM. SO YOU THINK YOU'RE BEING PLAYED? 1592 01:09:21,216 --> 01:09:24,684 NOT SURE, BUT THERE IS THIS ONE GIRL... 1593 01:09:24,686 --> 01:09:28,321 SHE'S VERY NICE TO ME. TOO NICE. 1594 01:09:28,323 --> 01:09:31,258 ALL RIGHT, WELL, HERE'S WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO... 1595 01:09:33,628 --> 01:09:35,795 IT IS SO GOOD TO SEE YOU. 1596 01:09:35,797 --> 01:09:37,430 OH, IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU, TOO, BABY. 1597 01:09:37,432 --> 01:09:39,399 YOU'RE HUNGRY RIGHT? 1598 01:09:39,401 --> 01:09:41,801 I AM STARVING. I LOVE THIS PLACE. 1599 01:09:41,803 --> 01:09:43,603 I AM SO HAPPY THAT YOU PICKED IT. 1600 01:09:43,605 --> 01:09:45,639 WE ALL REALLY MISS YOU AT THE MEETINGS. 1601 01:09:45,641 --> 01:09:48,475 OH, MY GOD, I MISS YOU GUYS, TOO! 1602 01:09:50,511 --> 01:09:51,878 STOP. 1603 01:09:51,880 --> 01:09:53,813 NOW THERE'S AN ARMY OF TWO. 1604 01:09:53,815 --> 01:09:56,950 TAKE CARE OF THEM, SUGAR. OKAY. 1605 01:09:56,952 --> 01:09:59,786 AND YOU, LET'S SEE THOSE PRIVATES ON PARADE. 1606 01:09:59,788 --> 01:10:01,955 I LIKE HOW YOU'RE SHOWCASING THAT PUSSY. 1607 01:10:01,957 --> 01:10:03,957 LOOKIN' GOOD. ( spanks ) 1608 01:10:03,959 --> 01:10:08,495 WHOA. THAT SKIRT'S WAY TOO LONG. 1609 01:10:08,497 --> 01:10:10,430 COME ON. BE ALL YOU CAN BE. 1610 01:10:10,432 --> 01:10:13,300 LET'S SEE THESE. THE NIPPLES ARE JUST RIGHT AT THE EDGE. 1611 01:10:13,302 --> 01:10:15,669 GOOD, SHOW THOSE GIRLS OFF. 1612 01:10:15,671 --> 01:10:18,572 FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE. ARE YOU READY FOR YOUR MISSION? 1613 01:10:18,574 --> 01:10:19,573 DA, GRETCHEN. 1614 01:10:19,575 --> 01:10:21,441 HANDLE IT. 1615 01:10:21,443 --> 01:10:25,478 I SEE YOU BROUGHT OUT THE BIG GUNS. SHAKE THOSE BABIES. 1616 01:10:26,447 --> 01:10:29,382 SLICE MY GLAMAZON. TURN AROUND. 1617 01:10:29,384 --> 01:10:33,787 LET'S TIGHTEN UP THAT T-BACK. IT'S A JUNGLE OUT THERE. 1618 01:10:35,723 --> 01:10:38,325 EXCELLENT JOB, GRETCHEN. 1619 01:10:38,327 --> 01:10:40,460 THANK YOU. LET ME SEE THOSE TEARS. 1620 01:10:40,462 --> 01:10:43,230 ( crying ) 1621 01:10:43,232 --> 01:10:44,264 TOO MUCH? 1622 01:10:44,266 --> 01:10:46,366 NO, EXCELLENT. 1623 01:10:46,368 --> 01:10:48,935 IT'S TIME FOR ME TO GO TAKE CARE OF THIS COURTNEY SITUATION. 1624 01:10:48,937 --> 01:10:53,406 WENDY, YOU KNOW YOU DON'T NEED TO DO THIS, RIGHT? YOU'RE MY SISTERS. 1625 01:10:53,408 --> 01:10:55,842 I COULDN'T ASK YOU TO DO ANYTHING I WOULDN'T DO MYSELF. 1626 01:10:55,844 --> 01:10:58,645 THIS IS WAR... AND WE'RE THE SEX BOMBS. 1627 01:10:59,580 --> 01:11:01,881 ( crying ) 1628 01:11:01,883 --> 01:11:04,417 I'M SORRY, ARE YOU OK? 1629 01:11:04,419 --> 01:11:08,555 NO. MY PHONE DIED, AND I REALLY NEED TO SEND AN EMAIL, 1630 01:11:08,557 --> 01:11:10,423 OR MY BOSS IS GONNA FIRE ME. 1631 01:11:10,425 --> 01:11:12,959 THAT'S OKAY. I LIVE RIGHT HERE. 1632 01:11:12,961 --> 01:11:14,494 YOU CAN TOTALLY USE MY COMPUTER. 1633 01:11:14,496 --> 01:11:15,729 REALLY? 1634 01:11:15,731 --> 01:11:16,763 OF COURSE. 1635 01:11:16,765 --> 01:11:19,566 THANK YOU SO MUCH. 1636 01:11:22,837 --> 01:11:24,771 REMEMBER WHEN YOU FIXED MY TRANSMISSION? 1637 01:11:24,773 --> 01:11:27,340 WELL, I'M PREGNANT. 1638 01:11:27,342 --> 01:11:29,042 I DON'T WANT A KID WITH YOU. 1639 01:11:29,044 --> 01:11:30,443 ME NEITHER. 1640 01:11:30,445 --> 01:11:31,778 HI. 1641 01:11:31,780 --> 01:11:33,513 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? ARE YOU CRAZY? 1642 01:11:33,515 --> 01:11:36,449 I NEED TO TALK TO YOU. MY WIFE IS UPSTAIRS. 1643 01:11:36,451 --> 01:11:39,052 WELL, I SUGGEST YOU TELL HER TO COME DOWN HERE. WHAT DO YOU WANT? 1644 01:11:39,054 --> 01:11:41,321 I'M PREGNANT. SHH! 1645 01:11:41,323 --> 01:11:44,357 SO, ANYWAY, I NEED MONEY TO TAKE CARE OF THIS. 1646 01:11:44,359 --> 01:11:47,927 NO, NO, NO. YOU SAID TO ME THAT YOU ARE USING CONTRACEPTIVE PILLS. 1647 01:11:47,929 --> 01:11:51,631 UGH, AZIS, I TOLD YOU, IT DOESN'T ALWAYS WORK ALL THE TIME. 1648 01:11:51,633 --> 01:11:53,800 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? THAT'S NOT MY BABY. 1649 01:11:53,802 --> 01:11:55,835 I GOT SIX WHITE BITCHES ON DECK RIGHT NOW. 1650 01:11:55,837 --> 01:11:57,537 I GOT BABY MOMMA'S FROM HERE TO DETROIT. 1651 01:11:57,539 --> 01:11:58,538 YOU AIN'T SAYING NOTHING. 1652 01:11:58,540 --> 01:11:59,739 HOW MUCH TO SUCK IT OUT? 1653 01:11:59,741 --> 01:12:01,474 WANNA SPLIT IT? OKAY. 1654 01:12:01,476 --> 01:12:02,942 JONZO? YEAH? 1655 01:12:02,944 --> 01:12:05,412 JONZO, CAN I TALK TO YOU? WE'RE KIND OF BUSY HERE. 1656 01:12:05,414 --> 01:12:07,547 WELL, CAN YOU TAKE FIVE, 'CAUSE IT'S IMPORTANT. 1657 01:12:07,549 --> 01:12:08,948 WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF REHEARSAL. WHAT'S GOING ON? 1658 01:12:08,950 --> 01:12:10,083 DO YOU EVEN REMEMBER ME? 1659 01:12:10,085 --> 01:12:11,985 UM...YEAH. 1660 01:12:11,987 --> 01:12:13,920 THE BATHROOM AT THE BURGUNDY? 1661 01:12:13,922 --> 01:12:15,455 YEAH, THE FUCKING BATHROOM AT THE BURGUNDY. 1662 01:12:15,457 --> 01:12:16,823 I TOTALLY REMEMBER THAT. WHAT'S GOING ON? 1663 01:12:16,825 --> 01:12:18,491 I'M PREGNANT, THAT'S HOW I'M DOING. 1664 01:12:18,493 --> 01:12:20,560 PREGNANT? THIS IS GOOD NEWS. 1665 01:12:20,562 --> 01:12:22,028 THIS IS A GIFT FROM THE LORD. 1666 01:12:22,030 --> 01:12:23,963 NO, ACTUALLY, A GIFT FROM YOU. 1667 01:12:23,965 --> 01:12:27,434 $450. WELL, THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY. 1668 01:12:27,436 --> 01:12:30,637 LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING, DO YOU THINK WE COULD WORK SOMETHING OUT? 1669 01:12:30,639 --> 01:12:33,406 450? MORE LIKE 199! 1670 01:12:33,408 --> 01:12:36,409 SHIT, YOU WANNA FUCK WITH MISS KIM RIGHT THERE ON CRENSHAW AND FLORENCE. 1671 01:12:36,411 --> 01:12:37,677 HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW IT'S MINE? 1672 01:12:37,679 --> 01:12:38,845 'CAUSE YOU CAME IN ME! 1673 01:12:38,847 --> 01:12:40,714 I FUCKING REMEMBER THAT NIGHT. 1674 01:12:40,716 --> 01:12:42,716 I ASKED IF I COULD COME, YOU SAID YES, I COULD COME. 1675 01:12:42,718 --> 01:12:44,050 ON MY TITS! 1676 01:12:44,052 --> 01:12:46,386 FOUR HUNDRED AND FUCKING FIFTY DOLLARS! 1677 01:12:46,388 --> 01:12:47,654 I DON'T HAVE THAT MONEY ON ME. 1678 01:12:47,656 --> 01:12:49,089 YOU SHOULD SAY THAT. 1679 01:12:49,091 --> 01:12:50,657 WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT THAT? 1680 01:12:50,659 --> 01:12:52,459 SHE GOT THIS NAIL SALON OUT FRONT, RIGHT, 1681 01:12:52,461 --> 01:12:54,461 BUT YOU GO TO THE BACK, SHE GOT THE ABORTION CLINIC. 1682 01:12:54,463 --> 01:12:56,996 COME ON. GET THE HELLS FROM OUT OF HERE. 1683 01:12:56,998 --> 01:12:59,032 GET YOUR NAILS DONE AT THE SAME TIME. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? 1684 01:12:59,034 --> 01:13:00,467 PEDICURE, JUMP OFF, EVERYTHING. 1685 01:13:00,469 --> 01:13:01,701 IT WAS A LOT OF FUN. 1686 01:13:01,703 --> 01:13:03,670 DO YOUR HOMEWORK. 1687 01:13:03,672 --> 01:13:05,605 HE'S A FERTILE LITTLE FUCKER, OKAY? 1688 01:13:05,607 --> 01:13:06,906 YOU'RE PREGNANT? 1689 01:13:06,908 --> 01:13:09,676 SHIT. YOU THINK I GOT THIS MOTHERFUCKING PAID 1690 01:13:09,678 --> 01:13:11,010 FROM PAYING CHILD SUPPORT? 1691 01:13:11,012 --> 01:13:12,879 FUCK! FUCK! 1692 01:13:12,881 --> 01:13:14,614 AFTER THAT NIGHT, I NEVER HEARD FROM YOU. 1693 01:13:14,616 --> 01:13:16,616 YEAH, I'VE BEEN TAKING THE TRAIN, 1694 01:13:16,618 --> 01:13:18,451 BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M HERE ABOUT. 1695 01:13:18,453 --> 01:13:20,887 YOU SEE, I'M PREGNANT. 1696 01:13:20,889 --> 01:13:23,423 DON'T BE UPSET, DARLING. THAT'S WONDERFUL NEWS. 1697 01:13:23,425 --> 01:13:26,159 YOU CAN MOVE IN WITH ME. WE'RE GONNA HAVE LOTS OF CHILDREN, 1698 01:13:26,161 --> 01:13:27,627 BIG FAMILY, STRONG SONS. 1699 01:13:27,629 --> 01:13:29,596 I GOTTA GO. 1700 01:13:29,598 --> 01:13:32,866 I'VE HAD THIS ONE FANTASY FOR THE LONGEST TIME. 1701 01:13:34,568 --> 01:13:36,903 LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT IT. 1702 01:13:36,905 --> 01:13:39,739 OH, COME FUCKING ON! 1703 01:13:44,445 --> 01:13:47,514 ( sighs ) MARSHMALLOWY GOODNESS. 1704 01:13:47,516 --> 01:13:51,985 YOU KNOW, IT'S MY FAVORITE CEREAL. JUST SAYING. 1705 01:13:51,987 --> 01:13:55,088 THANK GOD. ( sighs ) 1706 01:13:55,090 --> 01:13:58,191 I NEED A DRINK. DO YOU HAVE ANY VODKA? 1707 01:13:58,193 --> 01:13:59,592 YEAH. YEAH? 1708 01:13:59,594 --> 01:14:01,661 YEAH, LET ME GO GET SOME. 1709 01:14:01,663 --> 01:14:03,696 AND, YOU KNOW, WE LOVE YOU TO DEATH, 1710 01:14:03,698 --> 01:14:05,198 AND IF ANYTHING WERE TO HAPPEN, 1711 01:14:05,200 --> 01:14:07,100 YOU KNOW YOU CAN ALWAYS COME BACK TO THE MEETINGS, 1712 01:14:07,102 --> 01:14:08,168 AND WE'D ALWAYS BE THERE FOR YOU. 1713 01:14:08,170 --> 01:14:09,803 THANK YOU. 1714 01:14:09,805 --> 01:14:13,473 MEMORY FOAM. I LOVE IT. 1715 01:14:13,475 --> 01:14:15,208 YOU CAN'T PUT A PRICE ON A GOOD NIGHT IN BED. 1716 01:14:15,210 --> 01:14:16,876 DO YOU MIND IF I SMOKE? 1717 01:14:16,878 --> 01:14:18,945 NO. NO, NO, NO. BY ALL MEANS. 1718 01:14:18,947 --> 01:14:21,047 LET ME GO GET AN ASHTRAY. 1719 01:14:28,756 --> 01:14:30,056 HEY. 1720 01:14:30,058 --> 01:14:31,491 HEY, HOW ARE YOU FEELING? 1721 01:14:31,493 --> 01:14:33,026 I'M ALL RIGHT, BUT, I DON'T KNOW, 1722 01:14:33,028 --> 01:14:35,094 I KIND OF FEEL LIKE THIS ONE IS BIGGER. 1723 01:14:35,096 --> 01:14:36,863 YOU CAN'T TELL ANYTHING UNTIL THE CAST IS OFF. 1724 01:14:36,865 --> 01:14:38,097 THEY'RE GONNA LOOK SO HOT. 1725 01:14:38,099 --> 01:14:39,666 THEY'LL SETTLE IN SOON, CUTIE. 1726 01:14:39,668 --> 01:14:41,668 YOU PROMISE? MM-HMM. 1727 01:14:41,670 --> 01:14:45,705 OKAY, YOU GUYS, LET'S GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD. 1728 01:14:45,707 --> 01:14:48,541 HEY, MAX. YEAH. 1729 01:14:48,543 --> 01:14:50,977 PUT HIM ON SPEAKER. YEAH. 1730 01:14:50,979 --> 01:14:52,812 Max: I WAS THINKING WE COULD HANG OUT TONIGHT, BABE. 1731 01:14:52,814 --> 01:14:55,081 YOU KNOW WHAT, I WAS THINKING THE EXACT SAME THING. 1732 01:14:55,083 --> 01:14:57,250 ALL RIGHT, SO, YEAH, YOU KNOW, WE'LL MEET UP, 1733 01:14:57,252 --> 01:14:59,652 AND WE'LL HAVE SOME FUN TONIGHT, BABY. 1734 01:14:59,654 --> 01:15:01,721 MOTHERFUCKER, I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS DOUCHEBAG. 1735 01:15:01,723 --> 01:15:03,556 OH, WAIT, CAN YOU BRING YOUR FRIEND GLEN? 1736 01:15:03,558 --> 01:15:05,658 OH, YEAH, I'LL BRING HIM. I'M LOOKING AT HIS BIG ASS NOW, 1737 01:15:05,660 --> 01:15:07,160 MAKING A TRIPLE-DECKER SANDWICH. 1738 01:15:07,162 --> 01:15:08,828 Jasmine: OKAY, BIG KISS. ALL RIGHT. 1739 01:15:08,830 --> 01:15:10,263 THAT'S JASMINE? YVONNE'S FRIEND? 1740 01:15:10,265 --> 01:15:11,698 THAT'S A DANGEROUS GAME, MAN. 1741 01:15:11,700 --> 01:15:13,900 NAH, MAN, LOOK, ACTUALLY IT'S COOL 1742 01:15:13,902 --> 01:15:16,669 BECAUSE YVONNE'S IN THE HOSPITAL GETTING HER TITS DONE. 1743 01:15:16,671 --> 01:15:18,872 NICE ROTATION, BRO. 1744 01:15:18,874 --> 01:15:22,141 AND SHE'S BRINGING A FRIEND JUST FOR YOU! 1745 01:15:22,143 --> 01:15:24,110 WHAT?! YEAH, MAN! 1746 01:15:24,112 --> 01:15:26,746 YOUR HAIR IS BEAUTIFUL. WHAT COLOR IS THAT? 1747 01:15:26,748 --> 01:15:28,848 I'M A DIRTY BLONDE. 1748 01:15:28,850 --> 01:15:31,751 OHH. HEY, WOULD YOU LIKE ANOTHER DRINK? 1749 01:15:31,753 --> 01:15:34,754 I CAN'T TONIGHT, SWEETIE. IT'S MY TIME OF THE MONTH. 1750 01:15:34,756 --> 01:15:36,289 NO, NO, NO. I DIDN'T EVEN MEAN IT LIKE THAT. 1751 01:15:36,291 --> 01:15:37,790 OF COURSE YOU DIDN'T. 1752 01:15:37,792 --> 01:15:38,892 THAT'S NOT WHAT WAS TALKING ABOUT. 1753 01:15:38,894 --> 01:15:39,959 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING. 1754 01:15:39,961 --> 01:15:41,294 UM, CAN I USE YOUR RESTROOM? 1755 01:15:41,296 --> 01:15:44,597 YEAH. UH, IT'S RIGHT OVER THERE. 1756 01:15:56,110 --> 01:15:57,176 ( beeping ) 1757 01:15:58,312 --> 01:15:59,312 OHH. 1758 01:15:59,314 --> 01:16:01,748 ( sighs ) 1759 01:16:01,750 --> 01:16:03,783 ARE--ARE YOU OKAY? YEAH, IT'S JUST MY MOM. 1760 01:16:03,785 --> 01:16:06,920 MY STUPID KID'S ACTING UP, AND I HAVE TO GO AND SEE IT. 1761 01:16:06,922 --> 01:16:08,321 I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU WERE A MOM. 1762 01:16:08,323 --> 01:16:10,189 I KNOW, RIGHT? LOOK AT ME. 1763 01:16:10,191 --> 01:16:11,925 YOU'RE WAY TOO HOT TO BE A MOM. 1764 01:16:11,927 --> 01:16:13,660 EVERYBODY SAYS THAT. 1765 01:16:13,662 --> 01:16:15,562 I KNOW. I MEAN, I'M A GOOD MOM. 1766 01:16:15,564 --> 01:16:16,896 I SEE MY KID EVERY MONTH. 1767 01:16:16,898 --> 01:16:19,165 BUT I'M MORE WORRIED ABOUT YOU. 1768 01:16:19,167 --> 01:16:22,802 OH, I'M TOTALLY COOL. MY BOYFRIEND ACTUALLY LIVES RIGHT NEXT DOOR, SO... 1769 01:16:22,804 --> 01:16:25,004 Glen: SO SERIOUSLY YOU SAID SHE WAS BRINGING SOME FRIENDS? 1770 01:16:25,006 --> 01:16:26,606 TWO FRIENDS. TWO FRIENDS? 1771 01:16:26,608 --> 01:16:27,674 GRADE A FUCKING TAIL? 1772 01:16:27,676 --> 01:16:28,942 TWO TENDERONIES. TWO? 1773 01:16:28,944 --> 01:16:31,144 HEY, WHAT'S UP, GIRL? 1774 01:16:31,146 --> 01:16:33,813 HELLO. GLEN, THESE ARE MY FRIENDS CANDACE AND DENISE. 1775 01:16:33,815 --> 01:16:35,181 HI. HOW ARE YOU? HI. 1776 01:16:35,183 --> 01:16:36,282 YOU GUYS LOOK FANTASTIC. 1777 01:16:36,284 --> 01:16:38,051 I'M DOING GOOD OBVIOUSLY. 1778 01:16:38,053 --> 01:16:39,085 BYE. 1779 01:16:39,087 --> 01:16:40,253 BYE, AARON. 1780 01:16:40,255 --> 01:16:42,121 ( phone vibrating ) 1781 01:16:42,123 --> 01:16:43,790 HI, HEY, SWEETHEART. 1782 01:16:43,792 --> 01:16:46,225 GOT YOUR OWN LITTLE REFUGEE CAMBODIAN OUTFIT ON. 1783 01:16:46,227 --> 01:16:50,063 MM-HMM. MMM, YEAH. I LIKE THAT LOOK YOU GOT GOING ON. 1784 01:16:50,065 --> 01:16:52,365 LOOK LIKE YOU IN TRAINING MODE. YOU ARE READY FOR ACTION. 1785 01:16:52,367 --> 01:16:54,133 I KNOW. I'M A TOUGH GIRL. 1786 01:16:54,135 --> 01:16:55,902 I LIKE THESE LITTLE EARRINGS YOU GOT, TOO. 1787 01:16:55,904 --> 01:16:57,670 MMM, I LIKE THIS LITTLE THIGH MEAT STICKING OUT RIGHT HERE. 1788 01:16:57,672 --> 01:16:59,973 MEAT? GONNA STICK MY FORK IN IT! 1789 01:16:59,975 --> 01:17:04,310 ALISSA, AMY, CARMEN. 1790 01:17:04,312 --> 01:17:05,378 Glen: WHAT ARE WE HAVING? 1791 01:17:05,380 --> 01:17:06,813 LET'S DO SHOTS. 1792 01:17:06,815 --> 01:17:08,848 LET'S DO SHOTS. THAT SOUNDS GREAT. 1793 01:17:08,850 --> 01:17:10,383 IT'S EARLY. LET'S GET THE PARTY STARTED. 1794 01:17:10,385 --> 01:17:11,851 GLEN... 1795 01:17:11,853 --> 01:17:14,921 HEY, GRETCHEN. YEAH, WHAT'S UP? 1796 01:17:14,923 --> 01:17:17,357 I NEED TO TALK TO YOU... IN PRIVATE. 1797 01:17:17,359 --> 01:17:18,391 RIGHT NOW? 1798 01:17:18,393 --> 01:17:20,226 IT'S IMPORTANT. NOW. 1799 01:17:20,228 --> 01:17:23,863 OKAY. EXCUSE ME, LADIES. 1800 01:17:23,865 --> 01:17:27,400 ZELDA. SEND. 1801 01:17:27,402 --> 01:17:30,670 OH, IT'S THE TEXT. OH, THIS IS PRICELESS. 1802 01:17:30,672 --> 01:17:32,739 "IT'S MAX, AND I'M HORNY. 1803 01:17:32,741 --> 01:17:34,874 "WHICH ONE OF MY BITCHES IS UP RIGHT NOW, 1804 01:17:34,876 --> 01:17:36,409 "READY FOR A FACELOAD OF JIZZ? 1805 01:17:36,411 --> 01:17:37,977 I GOT THE BEER." 1806 01:17:37,979 --> 01:17:40,747 OH, MY GOD. THAT IS SO EPIC. 1807 01:17:40,749 --> 01:17:42,382 WHO DO YOU THINK THIS WENT OUT TO? 1808 01:17:42,384 --> 01:17:45,385 KNOWING WENDY, PROBABLY EVERY SINGLE FEMALE IN HIS PHONE. 1809 01:17:45,387 --> 01:17:46,753 ( beeping ) 1810 01:17:51,091 --> 01:17:52,392 FUCKING ASSCLOWN! 1811 01:17:54,728 --> 01:17:56,162 THANK YOU. 1812 01:17:57,898 --> 01:17:59,032 NO, I'M GOOD. 1813 01:17:59,034 --> 01:18:00,667 BUT WE USED A CONDOM. 1814 01:18:00,669 --> 01:18:03,670 ( sighs ) IT BROKE SOMETIMES, REMEMBER? 1815 01:18:03,672 --> 01:18:06,773 BECAUSE YOU WERE "TOO BIG"? 1816 01:18:06,775 --> 01:18:08,775 THANK YOU. 1817 01:18:08,777 --> 01:18:11,310 OH, MY GOD. LET ME SEE. 1818 01:18:11,312 --> 01:18:12,378 PERVERT! 1819 01:18:12,380 --> 01:18:13,980 FIVE MINUTES?! 1820 01:18:13,982 --> 01:18:15,915 UM, NO, NO, NO, IT'S FINE. TAKE YOUR TIME. 1821 01:18:15,917 --> 01:18:17,116 UM, I'M JUST GOING TO BE STRAIGHTENING UP. 1822 01:18:17,118 --> 01:18:18,785 OKAY. OKAY, BYE. 1823 01:18:18,787 --> 01:18:19,919 FUCK! 1824 01:18:23,190 --> 01:18:24,323 LOOK AT THAT KNEE. MMM. 1825 01:18:24,325 --> 01:18:26,259 UM, I HAVE TO GO. 1826 01:18:26,261 --> 01:18:27,694 WHAT? YEAH. 1827 01:18:27,696 --> 01:18:28,695 YOU GOTTA GO? MM-HMM. 1828 01:18:28,697 --> 01:18:29,929 WHY? 1829 01:18:29,931 --> 01:18:31,731 NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. GIRL STUFF. COME ON. 1830 01:18:31,733 --> 01:18:34,767 GIRL STUFF? NO, YOU DID NOT JUST KISS ME ON MY FOREHEAD. 1831 01:18:37,204 --> 01:18:38,271 $500. 1832 01:18:38,273 --> 01:18:40,473 $500? I KNOW. 1833 01:18:40,475 --> 01:18:42,075 DO YOU HAVE ANY OF IT? 1834 01:18:42,077 --> 01:18:43,376 NO, I DON'T HAVE ANY OF IT. 1835 01:18:43,378 --> 01:18:45,011 THAT'S WHY I'M HERE TALKING TO YOU. 1836 01:18:45,013 --> 01:18:46,379 I DON'T KNOW. I MEAN, I COULD ASK MY MOM, 1837 01:18:46,381 --> 01:18:48,481 BUT SHE WANTS GRANDKIDS, SO WHAT... GOD. 1838 01:18:48,483 --> 01:18:50,216 DID YOU DO ANY, LIKE, SHOPPING AROUND? 1839 01:18:50,218 --> 01:18:51,350 IT'S MY VAGINA! 1840 01:18:51,352 --> 01:18:52,385 ( phone rings ) 1841 01:18:52,387 --> 01:18:54,020 Text voice: IT'S MAX. 1842 01:18:54,022 --> 01:18:55,755 IT'S FROM MAX! 1843 01:18:55,757 --> 01:18:57,824 "TEXT TO LANDLINE" MESSAGE. IT'S MAX. 1844 01:18:57,826 --> 01:18:59,826 IT'S A "TEXT TO LANDLINE" MESSAGE. 1845 01:18:59,828 --> 01:19:02,462 ...AND READY FOR A FACELOAD OF JIZZ? 1846 01:19:02,464 --> 01:19:05,898 WHAT IDIOTS. THEY TOTALLY DESERVED IT. 1847 01:19:05,900 --> 01:19:06,999 ( beeping ) 1848 01:19:08,102 --> 01:19:09,135 OH... 1849 01:19:09,137 --> 01:19:10,837 MOMMY, WHAT'S "JIZZ" MEAN? 1850 01:19:10,839 --> 01:19:14,507 WHERE DID YOU GET THAT FILTH? 1851 01:19:14,509 --> 01:19:16,042 MAX. 1852 01:19:18,245 --> 01:19:23,116 ( phone vibrates and rings ) 1853 01:19:23,118 --> 01:19:26,018 PICK UP! 1854 01:19:26,020 --> 01:19:27,787 SCHOOL'S OUT, AARON. 1855 01:19:27,789 --> 01:19:29,122 JOHNNY...I FUCKED UP. 1856 01:19:29,124 --> 01:19:30,289 OKAY, RELAX. 1857 01:19:30,291 --> 01:19:32,525 ALL RIGHT, MR. "PERFECT BOYFRIEND," 1858 01:19:32,527 --> 01:19:36,796 LOOK, JUST STOP AND THINK. WHAT DID SHE TOUCH? 1859 01:19:36,798 --> 01:19:39,999 Johnny: DID SHE DRINK ANYTHING? CHECK FOR LIPSTICK. 1860 01:19:41,301 --> 01:19:44,003 WHAT ABOUT CIGARETTES? WAS SHE SMOKING? 1861 01:19:44,005 --> 01:19:47,039 CHECK THE BED. TAKE A LINT ROLLER TO THE BED. 1862 01:19:47,041 --> 01:19:50,176 ALL RIGHT, LOOK, TAKE A DEEP BREATH. 1863 01:19:50,178 --> 01:19:52,178 JUST LOOK AROUND CAREFULLY. 1864 01:19:52,180 --> 01:19:54,881 LET ME KNOW WHAT HAPPENS. 1865 01:19:54,883 --> 01:19:56,482 HI. 1866 01:19:56,484 --> 01:19:59,285 MMM, LUCKY YOU WERE JUST AROUND THE CORNER! 1867 01:19:59,287 --> 01:20:01,220 HAVE YOU BEEN SMOKING? 1868 01:20:01,222 --> 01:20:04,123 NO. NO. 1869 01:20:04,125 --> 01:20:05,825 WHAT ARE YOU--NO. 1870 01:20:09,830 --> 01:20:11,831 OH, MY GOD. 1871 01:20:15,402 --> 01:20:17,970 SHIT. 1872 01:20:25,112 --> 01:20:26,379 ( phone ringing ) 1873 01:20:26,381 --> 01:20:27,947 YOU WERE RIGHT. 1874 01:20:27,949 --> 01:20:31,350 HE JUST HAD SOME MENSTRUATING WHORE OVER HERE! 1875 01:20:31,352 --> 01:20:34,854 COME ON, SWEETIE. YOU KNEW THIS DAY WOULD COME. 1876 01:20:34,856 --> 01:20:36,255 I KNOW. I JUST... 1877 01:20:36,257 --> 01:20:38,925 I DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD HAPPEN SO SOON. 1878 01:20:38,927 --> 01:20:42,328 I MEAN, I REALLY, REALLY LIKED HIM. 1879 01:20:42,330 --> 01:20:45,164 YEAH, SHE'S IN THE BATHROOM. I THINK IT'S COOL. 1880 01:20:45,166 --> 01:20:48,201 UH, THANK YOU SO MUCH, MAN. SERIOUSLY YOU SAVED MY LIFE. 1881 01:20:48,203 --> 01:20:51,604 NO PROBLEM, BUT, DUDE, IF YOU INSIST ON HAVING A GIRLFRIEND-- 1882 01:20:51,606 --> 01:20:54,607 NO, NO, NO. I WASN'T EVEN GOING TO DO ANYTHING, DUDE. PLUS, SHE WAS ON HER PERIOD. 1883 01:20:54,609 --> 01:20:58,177 HER PERIOD. DID YOU CHECK THE BATHROOM? 1884 01:20:58,179 --> 01:21:00,880 OH, FUCK! OH, SHIT! 1885 01:21:00,882 --> 01:21:04,250 HE'S A BOY. BOYS WOULD FUCK A STICK OF BUTTER IF THEY COULD. 1886 01:21:04,252 --> 01:21:07,486 HE'S BASICALLY AS FAITHFUL AS THE OPTIONS OPEN TO HIM. 1887 01:21:07,488 --> 01:21:08,888 I'M GONNA KILL HIM. 1888 01:21:08,890 --> 01:21:10,556 NO. DON'T DO A THING. 1889 01:21:10,558 --> 01:21:13,226 YOU'VE GOT A BIRTHDAY COMING UP NEXT WEEKEND, DON'T YOU? 1890 01:21:13,228 --> 01:21:14,427 YES. 1891 01:21:14,429 --> 01:21:17,430 OKAY, CLEAN UP THE BLOOD, DRY YOUR EYES, 1892 01:21:17,432 --> 01:21:19,065 AND PRETEND LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED. 1893 01:21:19,067 --> 01:21:21,400 WE ARE GOING TO TURN THIS WHOLE THING AROUND. 1894 01:21:21,402 --> 01:21:25,371 OKAY. CAN I COME BACK TO THE MEETINGS? 1895 01:21:25,373 --> 01:21:27,473 OF COURSE YOU CAN, SWEETIE. 1896 01:21:27,475 --> 01:21:30,309 COME NEXT WEEK, WE'LL GET YOU TASSELED IN, AND WE'LL HAVE SOME FUN. 1897 01:21:30,311 --> 01:21:35,047 OH, AND YVONNE'S GOING TO BE UNVEILING HER NEW BOOBIES! 1898 01:21:35,049 --> 01:21:36,649 GOOD. I CANT WAIT. 1899 01:21:36,651 --> 01:21:39,385 THANKS. 1900 01:21:39,387 --> 01:21:40,553 HEY, GUYS. 1901 01:21:40,555 --> 01:21:41,954 GIRL, WHAT'S UP? 1902 01:21:41,956 --> 01:21:43,422 HOW DID IT GO? HOW DID IT GO? 1903 01:21:43,424 --> 01:21:44,490 AWESOME! 1904 01:21:44,492 --> 01:21:46,259 GET DOWN! YEAH, WE DID! 1905 01:21:46,261 --> 01:21:47,660 WE SENT THE TEXT MESSAGE FROM HELL! 1906 01:21:47,662 --> 01:21:49,295 I'M SORRY I WASN'T THERE. 1907 01:21:49,297 --> 01:21:51,230 ( all speaking at once ) 1908 01:21:51,232 --> 01:21:54,200 THEY KNOW WHO'S IN CHARGE. ABSOLUTELY. 1909 01:21:54,202 --> 01:21:55,401 BABE, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? 1910 01:21:55,403 --> 01:21:57,136 ( sadly ) YES. 1911 01:21:57,138 --> 01:21:58,971 ARE YOU CRYING? 1912 01:21:58,973 --> 01:22:02,141 NO. IT'S MY ALLERGIES. 1913 01:22:02,143 --> 01:22:05,344 SO, WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME FOR MY BIRTHDAY? 1914 01:22:05,346 --> 01:22:08,614 UM, WHAT ABOUT THAT LITTLE RESTAURANT YOU LIKE DOWNTOWN? 1915 01:22:08,616 --> 01:22:10,917 YEAH. WHAT ABOUT MAUI? 1916 01:22:10,919 --> 01:22:12,485 ( grunts ) 1917 01:22:12,487 --> 01:22:14,086 WHERE YOU BEEN AT, MAN? 1918 01:22:14,088 --> 01:22:15,655 BEEN AT THE FUCKING ATM. 1919 01:22:15,657 --> 01:22:18,057 THIS IS... THIS IS DEEP SHIT, MAN. 1920 01:22:18,059 --> 01:22:21,193 SHIT. YOU GOT NO IDEA, MAN. I BEEN GETTING SOME CRAZY ASS TEXT MESSAGES. 1921 01:22:21,195 --> 01:22:23,329 YEAH? ( phone ringing ) 1922 01:22:24,631 --> 01:22:26,532 HEY, WHAT'S UP, MOM? 1923 01:22:29,002 --> 01:22:31,037 ♪ WE ARE THE LADIES OF THE T.O.B. ♪ 1924 01:22:31,039 --> 01:22:32,438 ♪ WITH THE BOOTY THAT THEY WANT ♪ 1925 01:22:32,440 --> 01:22:34,140 ♪ BUT THIS SHIT AIN'T CHEAP 1926 01:22:34,142 --> 01:22:37,076 ♪ WE NEED MORE JEWELRY AND TIGS FOR RELAXIN' ♪ 1927 01:22:37,078 --> 01:22:39,645 ♪ TANNING BOOTHS AND SILICON AND INTIMATE WAXIN' ♪ 1928 01:22:39,647 --> 01:22:42,448 ♪ WE NEVER HAVE TO PAY 'CAUSE WE GOT THESE ♪ 1929 01:22:42,450 --> 01:22:45,217 ♪ TIG OLD BITTIES, WE RUN THIS CITY ♪ 1930 01:22:45,219 --> 01:22:47,720 ♪ COURTNEY'S IN OUR GANG 'CAUSE SHE'S GOT TIG BITTIES ♪ 1931 01:22:47,722 --> 01:22:49,455 ( cheering ) 1932 01:22:49,457 --> 01:22:51,057 YOU DODGED A BULLET, MY FRIEND. 1933 01:22:51,059 --> 01:22:54,226 $450 FOR AN ABORTION, OR 18 YEARS OF CHILD SUPPORT? 1934 01:22:54,228 --> 01:22:55,328 THAT IS A LOT OF MONEY. 1935 01:22:55,330 --> 01:22:56,629 YEAH, THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY. 1936 01:22:56,631 --> 01:22:58,197 NOW, COURTNEY, THAT WAS THE EASY PART, 1937 01:22:58,199 --> 01:23:00,399 BUT TIME TO JUMP YOU IN! 1938 01:23:00,401 --> 01:23:03,202 ( cheering ) 1939 01:23:03,204 --> 01:23:05,571 ( chanting ) COURTNEY, COURTNEY, COURTNEY... 1940 01:23:11,345 --> 01:23:13,412 ( cheering, screaming ) 1941 01:23:20,620 --> 01:23:22,121 ONCHIE! ONCHIE! 1942 01:23:22,123 --> 01:23:24,056 AND WHAT ARE YOU SO MISERABLE ABOUT? 1943 01:23:24,058 --> 01:23:25,091 YOU GOT LUCKY, TOO. 1944 01:23:25,093 --> 01:23:26,492 I KNOW. I JUST FEEL BAD. 1945 01:23:26,494 --> 01:23:28,060 WHY? 'CAUSE YOU DIDN'T GET TO FUCK 1946 01:23:28,062 --> 01:23:29,428 THAT CENTERFOLD YOU "HELPED"? 1947 01:23:29,430 --> 01:23:31,430 DID THEY PAY UP? MOSTLY. 1948 01:23:31,432 --> 01:23:33,532 GOD, I'VE FUCKED SOME CHEAP BASTARDS. 1949 01:23:33,534 --> 01:23:35,368 BUT WE DID MAKE SOME MONEY, RIGHT, WENDY? 1950 01:23:35,370 --> 01:23:37,703 WELL, BECAUSE OF YOU, GRETCHEN, $2000! 1951 01:23:37,705 --> 01:23:40,439 HOLLA! HOLLA! NICE. 1952 01:23:40,441 --> 01:23:42,508 DUDE, SHE ASKED ME TO TAKE HER TO HAWAII FOR HER BIRTHDAY. 1953 01:23:42,510 --> 01:23:44,010 ( laughing ) 1954 01:23:44,012 --> 01:23:47,013 YOU'RE 25. YOU DON'T NEED ALL THAT! 1955 01:23:47,015 --> 01:23:48,114 NO, I KNOW, YOU'RE RIGHT. 1956 01:23:48,116 --> 01:23:49,215 I SHOULD PROBABLY CALL HER, MAN, 1957 01:23:49,217 --> 01:23:51,017 AND MAKE THINGS A BIT LESS FORMAL. 1958 01:23:51,019 --> 01:23:52,018 CALL HER. 1959 01:23:52,020 --> 01:23:53,019 ( laughing ) 1960 01:23:53,021 --> 01:23:54,353 ( phone vibrating ) 1961 01:23:54,355 --> 01:23:57,390 OH, IT'S THE BOY. SHALL I DITCH IT? 1962 01:23:57,392 --> 01:23:59,191 NO. TAKE IT. THIS IS GONNA BE EPIC. 1963 01:23:59,193 --> 01:24:01,027 YEAH, AND FIND OUT WHAT HIS LITTLE FRIENDS ARE DOING. 1964 01:24:01,029 --> 01:24:02,762 OKAY. 1965 01:24:02,764 --> 01:24:04,397 HELLO? 1966 01:24:04,399 --> 01:24:05,731 WHERE IS YVONNE? 1967 01:24:05,733 --> 01:24:07,733 I ALWAYS DITCH THEM ALL EVERY SIX MONTHS. 1968 01:24:07,735 --> 01:24:08,734 IT'S VERY LIBERATING. 1969 01:24:08,736 --> 01:24:10,603 ALL EXCEPT THE ONE YOU LOVED. 1970 01:24:10,605 --> 01:24:12,538 COME ON, DUDE, WE'VE BEEN THROUGH A LOT, MAN. 1971 01:24:12,540 --> 01:24:14,273 WHY DON'T YOU TELL US WHAT HAPPENED? 1972 01:24:14,275 --> 01:24:16,575 ( crying ) 1973 01:24:16,577 --> 01:24:19,211 THEY'RE PARTYING! 1974 01:24:19,213 --> 01:24:22,381 ONE IS EXCITED BECAUSE HE DOESN'T HAVE TO HAVE A KID, 1975 01:24:22,383 --> 01:24:25,217 AND THE OTHER ONE HAS A BUNCH OF DATES LINED UP, 1976 01:24:25,219 --> 01:24:29,355 AND AARON WANTS TO MAKE THINGS "LESS FORMAL." 1977 01:24:29,357 --> 01:24:30,756 OHH... OHH... 1978 01:24:33,760 --> 01:24:35,428 WHAT'S THE MATTER, SWEETHEART? 1979 01:24:35,430 --> 01:24:37,296 SHOW THEM. 1980 01:24:38,231 --> 01:24:40,332 ( sniffling ) 1981 01:24:40,334 --> 01:24:42,568 ( crying ) 1982 01:24:42,570 --> 01:24:44,170 ( women gasping ) 1983 01:24:44,172 --> 01:24:46,305 OHH! WHAT?! OH, MY GOD! 1984 01:24:46,307 --> 01:24:50,376 HE SAID THAT ONE OF THE IMPLANTS WAS CRACKED 1985 01:24:50,378 --> 01:24:54,580 AND THAT THEY DIDN'T NOTICE UNTIL THEY WERE GONNA IMPLANT IT. 1986 01:24:54,582 --> 01:24:56,248 DICK. ASSHOLE! 1987 01:24:56,250 --> 01:24:57,383 WHEN IS HE GONNA DO THE OTHER ONE? 1988 01:24:57,385 --> 01:24:58,851 HE SAID BOOKED ALL MONTH, 1989 01:24:58,853 --> 01:25:03,823 BUT HE WANTS TO TAKE ME TO VEGAS NEXT WEEK! 1990 01:25:03,825 --> 01:25:06,192 SNEAKY LITTLE BASTARD! 1991 01:25:06,194 --> 01:25:07,593 AND LOOK WHAT HE GAVE HER FOR HER SCAR TISSUE. 1992 01:25:07,595 --> 01:25:10,663 LOOK WHAT HE GAVE ME FOR THE SCAR TISSUE. 1993 01:25:10,665 --> 01:25:12,465 KELOCOTE. 1994 01:25:12,467 --> 01:25:13,732 KELOCOTE. 1995 01:25:13,734 --> 01:25:16,302 JOHNNY EYELASH. 1996 01:25:16,304 --> 01:25:19,605 WAIT. AARON HAS A FRIEND NAMED JOHNNY. 1997 01:25:19,607 --> 01:25:21,407 SO DOES MAX. 1998 01:25:21,409 --> 01:25:24,743 SO DOES GLEN, AND HE'S ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT HOW COOL HE IS. 1999 01:25:24,745 --> 01:25:26,445 WHO IS THIS JOHNNY EYELASHES? 2000 01:25:26,447 --> 01:25:28,481 I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN HIS FAGGY LITTLE FINGERPRINTS 2001 01:25:28,483 --> 01:25:29,615 WERE ALL OVER THIS. 2002 01:25:29,617 --> 01:25:31,750 HE WAS PULLING THE STRINGS ALL ALONG. 2003 01:25:31,752 --> 01:25:35,421 WHO IS THIS JOHNNY EYELASH, AND WHY IS HE RUINING MY LIFE? 2004 01:25:35,423 --> 01:25:40,426 HE'S A BOY THAT I... WE USED TO DATE. 2005 01:25:42,195 --> 01:25:44,163 Max: SHE WAS AMAZING. 2006 01:25:44,165 --> 01:25:45,531 I WAS IN NEW YORK. 2007 01:25:45,533 --> 01:25:47,700 WE WERE YOUNG, WE WERE LIVING TOGETHER, 2008 01:25:47,702 --> 01:25:50,836 AND I WAS REALLY IN LOVE WITH HER. I WAS REALLY HAPPY. 2009 01:25:50,838 --> 01:25:53,339 Little Wendy: I DIDN'T KNOW THAT I COULD LOVE SOMEONE SO MUCH. 2010 01:25:53,341 --> 01:25:55,641 Big Wendy: I KNEW HIM, TOO. THAT'S HOW WE MET. 2011 01:25:55,643 --> 01:25:57,443 HE HAS A LONG HISTORY WITH THIS GANG. 2012 01:25:57,445 --> 01:25:59,912 HE'S THE REASON WHY WE STARTED THE T.O.B. 2013 01:25:59,914 --> 01:26:02,781 YEAH, WHAT DOES T.O.B. STAND FOR? 2014 01:26:02,783 --> 01:26:04,316 I WAS REALLY INTO HER, 2015 01:26:04,318 --> 01:26:06,585 BUT SHE WAS A FUCKING PSYCHO NIGHTMARE. 2016 01:26:06,587 --> 01:26:08,687 I MEAN, THIS CHICK WAS BATS. 2017 01:26:08,689 --> 01:26:10,523 Little Wendy: I'D BEEN DATING HIM FOR A COUPLE OF MONTHS. 2018 01:26:10,525 --> 01:26:14,393 I WAS YOUNG AND IN LOVE. WE HAD JUST MOVED IN TOGETHER. 2019 01:26:14,395 --> 01:26:16,729 IT WAS ONE OF THOSE DAYS IN SPRING 2020 01:26:16,731 --> 01:26:19,165 WHERE YOU JUST WANT TO STAY OUTSIDE ALL DAY. 2021 01:26:19,167 --> 01:26:20,666 Johnny: I DON'T KNOW IF YOU EVER LIVED IN NEW YORK, 2022 01:26:20,668 --> 01:26:22,668 BUT THERE'S THAT ONE DAY IN SPRING 2023 01:26:22,670 --> 01:26:24,403 WHEN YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE, BAM-- 2024 01:26:24,405 --> 01:26:26,839 TITTIES AND MIDRIFFS EVERYWHERE. 2025 01:26:26,841 --> 01:26:28,440 Little Wendy: SO WE'RE HAVING A NICE WALK 2026 01:26:28,442 --> 01:26:30,676 WHEN THIS BEAUTIFUL GIRL WALKS PAST. 2027 01:26:30,678 --> 01:26:32,845 IT WAS WENDY. 2028 01:26:32,847 --> 01:26:34,813 I WAS YOUNG AND UNPREPARED FOR IT, 2029 01:26:34,815 --> 01:26:36,549 THEN THIS SMOKING CHICK WALKED PAST, 2030 01:26:36,551 --> 01:26:38,684 WITH TITTIES FROM HELL. 2031 01:26:38,686 --> 01:26:41,620 I MEAN, BIG ONES, BRAND-NEW, OUT ON DISPLAY, 2032 01:26:41,622 --> 01:26:44,323 SO I CATCH HER OUT THE CORNER OF MY EYE. 2033 01:26:44,325 --> 01:26:45,858 TIG OLD BITTIES! 2034 01:26:45,860 --> 01:26:47,760 Little Wendy: AND THIS WAS BEFORE I HAD MY BOOBS, 2035 01:26:47,762 --> 01:26:50,429 SO I WAS LITTLE BIT MORE SENSITIVE ABOUT IT BACK THEN. 2036 01:26:50,431 --> 01:26:52,965 Johnny: SHE JUST WENT FUCKING CRAZY. 2037 01:26:52,967 --> 01:26:54,967 SO LATER THAT NIGHT WE WERE AT THIS CLUB, RIGHT? 2038 01:26:54,969 --> 01:26:56,602 AND I SEE THIS CHICK AGAIN. 2039 01:26:56,604 --> 01:26:58,971 SO WE WENT INTO ONE OF THOSE UNISEX BATHROOMS. 2040 01:26:58,973 --> 01:27:00,506 ANYWAYS, I'M IN THE STALL, 2041 01:27:00,508 --> 01:27:01,974 AND I'M GETTING A BLOWJOB, RIGHT? 2042 01:27:01,976 --> 01:27:03,509 AND SHE JUST BUST RIGHT IN. 2043 01:27:03,511 --> 01:27:05,377 Little Wendy: I SAW WENDY IN THERE, 2044 01:27:05,379 --> 01:27:06,912 AND I DIDN'T KNOW HER NAME, SO I JUST SCREAMED, 2045 01:27:06,914 --> 01:27:08,847 "TIG OLD BITTIES! THAT'S MY BOYFRIEND." 2046 01:27:08,849 --> 01:27:11,417 Johnny: AND THE OTHER ONE, SHE SPAT ON ME-- 2047 01:27:11,419 --> 01:27:12,785 MY OWN JIZZ! 2048 01:27:12,787 --> 01:27:15,321 YEAH, AND IT DOES BURN, BY THE WAY. 2049 01:27:15,323 --> 01:27:17,590 BUT WENDY WAS NICE. SHE DIDN'T KNOW. 2050 01:27:17,592 --> 01:27:20,659 SHE SAID SHE WAS SORRY, AND WE BECAME FRIENDS. 2051 01:27:20,661 --> 01:27:22,461 AND WE ENDED UP MEETING FABIO 2052 01:27:22,463 --> 01:27:25,297 AND HAVING THIS CRAZY THREEWAY BACK AT THE HOTEL. 2053 01:27:25,299 --> 01:27:26,865 ( women laughing ) 2054 01:27:29,469 --> 01:27:31,337 FABIO! 2055 01:27:31,339 --> 01:27:32,905 FABIO! 2056 01:27:34,474 --> 01:27:35,841 OH, WENDY, DON'T WORRY. 2057 01:27:35,843 --> 01:27:38,277 THERE'S PLENTY OF FABIO TO GO AROUND. 2058 01:27:38,279 --> 01:27:40,946 FUNNY THING, THEY WERE BOTH CALLED WENDY. 2059 01:27:40,948 --> 01:27:44,316 WENDY? THAT CHICK THAT CAME OVER 2060 01:27:44,318 --> 01:27:46,418 AND NEARLY GOT ME BUSTED WAS NAMED WENDY. 2061 01:27:46,420 --> 01:27:48,821 YEAH, YVONNE'S ALWAYS GOING ON ABOUT THE WENDYS. 2062 01:27:48,823 --> 01:27:50,923 WENDYS! OF COURSE. 2063 01:27:50,925 --> 01:27:55,361 IT WAS THEM ALL ALONG. THOSE LITTLE BITCHES. 2064 01:27:58,765 --> 01:28:00,466 JOHNNY EYELASH. 2065 01:28:00,468 --> 01:28:03,535 WE'RE GONNA TAKE HIM DOWN ONCE AND FOR ALL. 2066 01:28:03,537 --> 01:28:05,771 HE STARTED ALL THIS, AND WE'RE GONNA FINISH IT. 2067 01:28:05,773 --> 01:28:08,974 BUT TO DO IT, WE NEED TO MOVE TO A NEW STAGE OF OUR LIVES. 2068 01:28:08,976 --> 01:28:10,376 YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS, WENDY. 2069 01:28:10,378 --> 01:28:13,312 YES, I DO. THE NUCLEAR OPTION. 2070 01:28:17,617 --> 01:28:19,518 JOHNNY! HOW ARE YOU DOING? 2071 01:28:19,520 --> 01:28:21,053 WHAT'S UP, BRO? 2072 01:28:21,055 --> 01:28:23,022 THANK YOU. YOU GOT IT. 2073 01:28:24,758 --> 01:28:27,993 JOHNNY EYELASH. COME OVER HERE. 2074 01:28:27,995 --> 01:28:30,829 OKAY, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU TWO WANT? 2075 01:28:30,831 --> 01:28:34,867 OH, JOHNNY EYELASH. ALWAYS THE CHARMER, AREN'T YA? 2076 01:28:34,869 --> 01:28:36,669 EXCEPT WHEN YOU'RE CHEATING ON YOUR GIRLFRIEND. 2077 01:28:36,671 --> 01:28:38,070 WHAT IS THIS, ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR LITTLE SCHEMES 2078 01:28:38,072 --> 01:28:39,405 TO PULL OVER ON ME AND MY BOYS? 2079 01:28:39,407 --> 01:28:41,307 NO. CALM DOWN. 2080 01:28:41,309 --> 01:28:43,809 WE'RE JUST EXTENDING AN OLIVE BRANCH. OH, REALLY? 2081 01:28:43,811 --> 01:28:44,977 COME AND SIT OVER HERE, JOHNNY. 2082 01:28:44,979 --> 01:28:46,345 I'M OKAY RIGHT HERE, THANKS. 2083 01:28:46,347 --> 01:28:48,013 OUCH. OUCH. 2084 01:28:48,015 --> 01:28:50,482 VODKA GIMLET, RIGHT? 2085 01:28:52,952 --> 01:28:54,086 THANK YOU. 2086 01:28:54,088 --> 01:28:55,954 SO HOW IS THE BOOB CREAM BUSINESS? 2087 01:28:55,956 --> 01:29:00,392 IT'S GOING WELL, ACTUALLY. THANK YOU FOR ASKING. 2088 01:29:00,394 --> 01:29:02,461 AND HOW IS YOUR "WORK" GOING? 2089 01:29:02,463 --> 01:29:03,562 GOOD. YEAH? 2090 01:29:03,564 --> 01:29:05,564 WE HAVE A HOUSE. SERIOUSLY? 2091 01:29:05,566 --> 01:29:07,499 YEAH. AND A COMMITTEE. 2092 01:29:07,501 --> 01:29:09,968 YEAH, I HEARD ABOUT THE COMMITTEE. AND A BUNCH OF GIRLS. 2093 01:29:09,970 --> 01:29:12,671 SO WHAT, ARE YOU GUYS DRINKING, TOO? OR AM I ON MY OWN? 2094 01:29:12,673 --> 01:29:14,406 COME ON, COME SIT OVER HERE. OKAY. 2095 01:29:14,408 --> 01:29:15,774 UHH. 2096 01:29:15,776 --> 01:29:18,610 SO, JOHNNY, YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE FIRST MET, RIGHT? 2097 01:29:18,612 --> 01:29:19,712 YEAH, I REMEMBER. 2098 01:29:19,714 --> 01:29:21,013 LET'S DO A TOAST. 2099 01:29:21,015 --> 01:29:22,081 OF COURSE I REMEMBER. YOU WERE SO HOT. 2100 01:29:22,083 --> 01:29:23,582 ALL RIGHT, A TOAST. 2101 01:29:23,584 --> 01:29:24,683 ( all speaking at once ) 2102 01:29:24,685 --> 01:29:27,386 TO NEW TIMES. AND OLD TIMES. 2103 01:29:27,388 --> 01:29:29,455 IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO. 2104 01:29:29,457 --> 01:29:31,023 IT WASN'T MY FINEST MOMENT, SORRY. 2105 01:29:31,025 --> 01:29:32,858 YOU WANNA GET COZY, PLEASE? ALL RIGHT. 2106 01:29:32,860 --> 01:29:33,859 WENDY, TELL HIM. 2107 01:29:33,861 --> 01:29:34,893 YEAH, WENDY, TELL HIM. 2108 01:29:34,895 --> 01:29:36,862 WE WANT A BABY. 2109 01:29:36,864 --> 01:29:38,063 ( laughs ) 2110 01:29:38,065 --> 01:29:39,598 SERIOUSLY? 2111 01:29:39,600 --> 01:29:41,633 YEAH. WE'RE SICK OF ALL THE PARTIES 2112 01:29:41,635 --> 01:29:43,669 AND TRYING TO FIND THE PERFECT GUY. 2113 01:29:43,671 --> 01:29:45,637 YOU WANT ME TO GET ONE OF YOU TWO PREGNANT? 2114 01:29:45,639 --> 01:29:47,473 WENDY AND I LIKE EACH OTHER. 2115 01:29:47,475 --> 01:29:51,143 A LOT, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. 2116 01:29:51,145 --> 01:29:54,012 BUT WE BOTH STILL LIKE DICK. 2117 01:29:54,014 --> 01:29:55,748 SO HERE'S WHAT WE'RE THINKING. 2118 01:29:55,750 --> 01:29:58,117 WHY DON'T WE POOL OUR RESOURCES, 2119 01:29:58,119 --> 01:29:59,785 AND THE THREE OF US MOVE IN TOGETHER? 2120 01:29:59,787 --> 01:30:00,786 THE THREE OF US LIVE TOGETHER? 2121 01:30:00,788 --> 01:30:02,688 UH-HUH. OH, MY GOD. 2122 01:30:02,690 --> 01:30:04,390 WE ALL SLEEP TOGETHER, 2123 01:30:04,392 --> 01:30:05,758 BUT THE DEAL IS NONE OF US THREE 2124 01:30:05,760 --> 01:30:07,092 CAN SLEEP WITH ANYBODY ELSE. 2125 01:30:07,094 --> 01:30:08,827 AND TO KEEP THE BOND STRONG, 2126 01:30:08,829 --> 01:30:11,430 YOU HAVE TO MARRY ONE OF US, AND GET THE OTHER ONE PREGNANT. 2127 01:30:11,432 --> 01:30:13,165 OKAY, WAIT A MINUTE... MARRY? 2128 01:30:13,167 --> 01:30:14,900 UH-HUH. DON'T YOU WANT A SON? 2129 01:30:14,902 --> 01:30:19,705 AND YOU GET TO SHOW US BOTH OFF, ONE ON EACH ARM. 2130 01:30:19,707 --> 01:30:23,976 AND YOU GET YOUR CHOICE OF SIX HOLES. 2131 01:30:23,978 --> 01:30:26,678 EVERY NIGHT. EVERY NIGHT. 2132 01:30:26,680 --> 01:30:29,515 WE WILL FUCK YOU INTO LITTLE PIECES. 2133 01:30:29,517 --> 01:30:31,049 IN HALF. 2134 01:30:31,051 --> 01:30:33,185 UPSIDE-DOWN. 2135 01:30:33,187 --> 01:30:36,188 THIS IS BULLSHIT. I WANNA GO FIRST. HE LIKES ME BETTER. 2136 01:30:36,190 --> 01:30:38,857 I WANT TO SUCK IT. NO, I WANT TO SUCK IT. 2137 01:30:38,859 --> 01:30:39,892 HEY, HEY, HEY, LADIES! 2138 01:30:39,894 --> 01:30:41,760 BULLSHIT, YOU WENT LAST NIGHT. 2139 01:30:41,762 --> 01:30:43,462 YOU SUCKED IT FIRST THIS MORNING. IT'S MY TURN. 2140 01:30:43,464 --> 01:30:45,697 OKAY, OKAY, LADIES, DON'T BE GREEDY. 2141 01:30:45,699 --> 01:30:46,999 YOU CAN SHARE, ALL RIGHT? 2142 01:30:47,001 --> 01:30:49,568 YOU GET THE LEFT SIDE, YOU GET THE RIGHT SIDE. 2143 01:30:49,570 --> 01:30:50,769 ONE BALL EACH. 2144 01:30:50,771 --> 01:30:53,138 AND, GO. 2145 01:30:53,140 --> 01:30:54,706 ( women giggling ) 2146 01:30:54,708 --> 01:30:58,544 OKAY. WHOA, SLOW IT DOWN. 2147 01:30:58,546 --> 01:31:00,813 BUT YOU CAN'T CHEAT. NEVER. 2148 01:31:00,815 --> 01:31:02,948 OR YOU'LL PAY. NO WAY. 2149 01:31:02,950 --> 01:31:05,984 LOOK, I COULD SERIOUSLY CONSIDER THIS KIND OF AN ARRANGEMENT. 2150 01:31:05,986 --> 01:31:07,719 AND I WOULD NEVER CHEAT. 2151 01:31:07,721 --> 01:31:09,455 NEVER. NO WAY. 2152 01:31:09,457 --> 01:31:10,956 Max: WITHIN THREE MONTHS, 2153 01:31:10,958 --> 01:31:12,925 THE FIRST PART OF THEIR PLAN WAS COMPLETE. 2154 01:31:12,927 --> 01:31:15,594 HE WAS MARRIED TO ONE, GOT THE OTHER ONE PREGNANT, 2155 01:31:15,596 --> 01:31:17,029 AND THEY ALL LIVED UNDER THE SAME ROOF. 2156 01:31:17,031 --> 01:31:19,198 AND FOR A WHILE, JOHNNY WAS FAITHFUL 2157 01:31:19,200 --> 01:31:21,567 AND HAPPY WITH HIS SIX-HOLE ARRANGEMENT. 2158 01:31:21,569 --> 01:31:23,202 BUT THESE GIRLS WERE SNEAKY. 2159 01:31:23,204 --> 01:31:24,937 IT WAS ALL JUST A SETUP 2160 01:31:24,939 --> 01:31:28,040 FOR THE FINAL PHASE OF THE NUCLEAR OPTION. 2161 01:31:28,042 --> 01:31:29,575 ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH. 2162 01:31:29,577 --> 01:31:30,742 THIS IS A GOOD THING. 2163 01:31:30,744 --> 01:31:33,579 I KNOW. THIS IS A GREAT THING! 2164 01:31:33,581 --> 01:31:36,482 OHH. VERONICA? 2165 01:31:36,484 --> 01:31:39,184 YEAH, OPERATION CHEATING HEART IS A GO. 2166 01:31:39,186 --> 01:31:40,719 TELL HER TO GIVE HIM A CHANCE. 2167 01:31:40,721 --> 01:31:42,254 NOT THAT HE'S GONNA TAKE IT, BUT... 2168 01:31:42,256 --> 01:31:44,857 GO EASY ON HIM, OKAY? 2169 01:31:48,027 --> 01:31:50,662 ALL RIGHT, VERONICA, SO BASICALLY YOU'RE GOING TO APPLY IT TO THE WHOLE SCAR 2170 01:31:50,664 --> 01:31:53,131 AND JUST WAIT FOR IT TO DRY BEFORE YOU GET DRESSED. 2171 01:31:53,133 --> 01:31:54,833 IT'S PRETTY SIMPLE. HERE, LET ME. 2172 01:32:01,875 --> 01:32:05,277 UM, WHICH ONE SHOULD I PUT IT ON? 2173 01:32:05,279 --> 01:32:06,979 BOTH. 2174 01:32:06,981 --> 01:32:08,814 I THINK I PUT TOO MUCH. 2175 01:32:08,816 --> 01:32:11,183 THAT'S FINE. JUST APPLY A THIN LAYER. 2176 01:32:11,185 --> 01:32:15,187 NOT SURE I'M DOING IT PROPERLY. JOHNNY? 2177 01:32:16,523 --> 01:32:17,990 OKAY. 2178 01:32:21,861 --> 01:32:24,930 ( moaning, laughs ) 2179 01:32:24,932 --> 01:32:28,567 NOW I GET IT. OH, SO GOOD. 2180 01:32:28,569 --> 01:32:30,869 IT'LL FORM A PROTECTIVE SEAL OVER THE EPIDERMIS. 2181 01:32:30,871 --> 01:32:33,872 YOU'RE SO CLEVER, JOHNNY. 2182 01:32:33,874 --> 01:32:36,141 VERONICA, I DON'T SEE A SCAR. 2183 01:32:36,143 --> 01:32:37,242 WHAT? 2184 01:32:37,244 --> 01:32:38,310 THERE'S NO SCAR. 2185 01:32:38,312 --> 01:32:39,878 THERE'S A LITTLE SLIT. 2186 01:32:39,880 --> 01:32:42,614 THERE'S A SLIT? WHERE? 2187 01:32:42,616 --> 01:32:44,283 HERE. 2188 01:32:44,285 --> 01:32:46,118 ♪ HEY 2189 01:32:46,120 --> 01:32:47,920 FUCK IT. 2190 01:32:47,922 --> 01:32:50,789 Max: THOSE BITCHES GOT JOHNNY GOOD. 2191 01:32:54,027 --> 01:32:55,894 THEY HAD HIM CHEATING ON VIDEO, 2192 01:32:55,896 --> 01:32:57,729 AND WHEN THE JUDGE SAW THE TAPE, 2193 01:32:57,731 --> 01:32:59,698 HE GAVE HALF HIS SHIT TO LITTLE WENDY FOR ALIMONY, 2194 01:32:59,700 --> 01:33:02,167 AND THE OTHER HALF TO BIG WENDY FOR CHILD SUPPORT. 2195 01:33:02,169 --> 01:33:04,036 AND NOW THEY LIVE VERY COMFORTABLY. 2196 01:33:04,038 --> 01:33:07,339 AND DAMN...THAT WAS ONE WELL-DRESSED BABY! 2197 01:33:07,341 --> 01:33:09,041 BUT JOHNNY MADE THE BEST OF IT. 2198 01:33:09,043 --> 01:33:11,643 HE PIMPED THE SHIT OUT OF THAT KID. 2199 01:33:11,645 --> 01:33:13,312 OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH. 2200 01:33:13,314 --> 01:33:15,213 MY PLEASURE. YOU LOOK GREAT, BY THE WAY. 2201 01:33:15,215 --> 01:33:17,683 Max: GLEN TRIED TO FOLLOW IN JOHNNY'S FOOTSTEPS... 2202 01:33:17,685 --> 01:33:19,251 ...HOW MUCH YOU'VE SPENT ON IT... 2203 01:33:19,253 --> 01:33:21,086 BUT NOT EVERYONE'S GOT THE TOUCH. 2204 01:33:21,088 --> 01:33:22,321 IT'S JUST A SERVICE I PROVIDE MY CLIENTS. 2205 01:33:22,323 --> 01:33:23,655 ARE YOU KIDDING? 2206 01:33:23,657 --> 01:33:25,090 EW, APPLY THEM ON YOUR OWN TITS! 2207 01:33:25,092 --> 01:33:27,659 WELL, BUT I HAVEN'T HAD A BOOB JOB. 2208 01:33:27,661 --> 01:33:31,063 Max: YVONNE FINALLY GOT HER OTHER TITTY. 2209 01:33:31,065 --> 01:33:33,966 IT'S ALREADY PAID FOR ITSELF. 2210 01:33:35,868 --> 01:33:38,770 LOOK AT THEM TITTIES! 2211 01:33:38,772 --> 01:33:40,172 WHAT THE FUCK! 2212 01:33:40,174 --> 01:33:42,975 Max: HOLLYWOOD SEX WARS STILL RAGE. 2213 01:33:42,977 --> 01:33:44,943 ( blows whistle ) EVERYBODY, OUT! 2214 01:33:44,945 --> 01:33:46,945 YOU DON'T WANNA FUCK WITH THE T.O.B. 2215 01:33:46,947 --> 01:33:49,081 LET'S GO, GIRLS. 2216 01:33:49,083 --> 01:33:52,084 WELL, I FEEL A LITTLE BIT BETTER THAT YOU'RE SORRY... 2217 01:33:52,086 --> 01:33:54,353 THE WENDYS EVENTUALLY CAME CLEAN ABOUT THE FRAME JOB, 2218 01:33:54,355 --> 01:33:56,655 AND COURTNEY QUIT THE T.O.B. 2219 01:33:56,657 --> 01:33:57,856 I JUST FOUND THEM. EW. 2220 01:33:57,858 --> 01:33:59,958 AGAINST JOHNNY'S ADVICE, 2221 01:33:59,960 --> 01:34:02,227 AARON FESSED UP ABOUT THE GIRL AT THE PARTY. 2222 01:34:02,229 --> 01:34:06,632 TURNS OUT HE WASN'T THE ONLY ONE WHO "MADE A MISTAKE." 2223 01:34:06,634 --> 01:34:08,867 I FUCKING CHEATED ON YOU, TOO, SO THERE! WHAT?! 2224 01:34:08,869 --> 01:34:11,370 WITH THE WENDYS OUT OF THE PICTURE, 2225 01:34:11,372 --> 01:34:14,973 LOVE WAS ABLE TO FIND A WAY. 2226 01:34:14,975 --> 01:34:19,044 AND THAT'S WHY WE HAVING THIS BANGING-ASS BACHELOR PARTY! 2227 01:34:19,046 --> 01:34:21,380 YOU KNOW, YOU TAUGHT ME HOW TO FIND A GOOD ONE, AND I FOUND A GOOD ONE. 2228 01:34:21,382 --> 01:34:23,081 YOU DID. I GOTTA ADMIT, YOU DID. SHE'S A COOL CHICK. 2229 01:34:23,083 --> 01:34:24,316 THANKS, MAN. I LOVE YOU, MAN. 2230 01:34:24,318 --> 01:34:26,118 I KNOW I GIVE YOU A HARD TIME, MAN, 2231 01:34:26,120 --> 01:34:27,886 BUT I THINK IT'S COOL THAT YOU GUYS ARE GETTING MARRIED. 2232 01:34:27,888 --> 01:34:30,188 LET'S GET DOWN, MAN. 2233 01:34:30,190 --> 01:34:33,225 Max: AND ME... I'VE GOT A DRINK IN ONE HAND, 2234 01:34:33,227 --> 01:34:35,794 A JOINT IN THE OTHER, CHICKS ARE JOCKING ME, 2235 01:34:35,796 --> 01:34:38,163 MY BEST FRIEND'S MARRYING A GREAT GIRL, 2236 01:34:38,165 --> 01:34:42,401 AND I'M IN THE SHOWER WITH FOUR BUTT-ASS NAKED CHICKS! 2237 01:34:42,403 --> 01:34:44,169 CAN IT GET ANY BETTER THAN THAT? 2238 01:34:44,171 --> 01:34:45,837 I LOVE MY LIFE! 2239 01:34:55,915 --> 01:34:57,215 ♪ HEY 2240 01:35:05,191 --> 01:35:06,425 ♪ HEY 2241 01:35:06,427 --> 01:35:08,260 ♪ "H," "O" 2242 01:35:08,262 --> 01:35:10,095 ♪ DOUBLE "L," "Y" 2243 01:35:10,097 --> 01:35:12,164 ♪ "W," "O," "O," "D" 2244 01:35:12,166 --> 01:35:14,132 ♪ HOLLYWOOD SEX WARS 2245 01:35:14,134 --> 01:35:15,767 ♪ "H," "O" 2246 01:35:15,769 --> 01:35:17,703 ♪ DOUBLE "L," "Y" 2247 01:35:17,705 --> 01:35:19,438 ♪ "W," "O," "O," "D" 2248 01:35:19,440 --> 01:35:21,707 ♪ HOLLYWOOD SEX WARS 2249 01:35:36,222 --> 01:35:37,923 ♪ "H," "O" 2250 01:35:37,925 --> 01:35:39,458 ♪ DOUBLE "L," "Y" 2251 01:35:39,460 --> 01:35:41,493 ♪ "W," "O," "O," "D" 2252 01:35:41,495 --> 01:35:43,495 ♪ HOLLYWOOD SEX WARS 2253 01:35:43,497 --> 01:35:45,197 ♪ "H," "O" 2254 01:35:45,199 --> 01:35:47,132 ♪ DOUBLE "L," "Y" 2255 01:35:47,134 --> 01:35:49,067 ♪ "W," "O," "O," "D" 2256 01:35:49,069 --> 01:35:51,403 ♪ HOLLYWOOD SEX WARS 2257 01:35:56,375 --> 01:35:58,744 ♪ HOLLYWOOD SEX WARS 2258 01:36:11,023 --> 01:36:13,425 ♪ HOLLYWOOD SEX WARS 2259 01:36:18,831 --> 01:36:21,099 ♪ HOLLYWOOD SEX WARS 2260 01:36:25,972 --> 01:36:28,206 ♪ HOLLYWOOD SEX WARS 2261 01:36:37,817 --> 01:36:39,351 ♪ HOLLYWOOD SEX WARS 2262 01:36:39,353 --> 01:36:41,019 ♪ GRRREEDY 2263 01:36:41,021 --> 01:36:43,455 ♪ IT'S THE KOREATOWN ODDITY ♪ 2264 01:36:43,457 --> 01:36:45,157 ♪ OBVIOUSLY THEY'LL PUT YOU UP ♪ 2265 01:36:45,159 --> 01:36:47,192 ♪ ON THIS WHOLE HOLLYWOOD THING ♪ 2266 01:36:47,194 --> 01:36:48,994 ♪ SPECIFICALLY THE SEX WARS 2267 01:36:48,996 --> 01:36:50,962 ♪ GOT STRIPPERS STACKED ON TOP OF US ♪ 2268 01:36:50,964 --> 01:36:52,931 ♪ BUT THIS IS NOT CONNECT FOUR ♪ 2269 01:36:52,933 --> 01:36:54,399 ♪ IT'S STRIP TWISTER 2270 01:36:54,401 --> 01:36:56,301 ♪ NOW WE PARTY UP 2271 01:36:56,303 --> 01:36:58,069 ♪ BUT IT WASN'T ALWAYS LIKE THIS ♪ 2272 01:36:58,071 --> 01:36:59,838 ♪ WHEN CHICKS WAS MORE FRIGID ♪ 2273 01:36:59,840 --> 01:37:01,907 ♪ THAN INTENSE WINTERS AND ANTARCTICA ♪ 2274 01:37:01,909 --> 01:37:05,010 ♪ BUT EVER SINCE WE GOT ALL OF THE KNOWLEDGE FROM ♪ 2275 01:37:05,012 --> 01:37:07,512 ♪ JOHNNY EYELASH, SLOWLY AS THE TIME PASSED ♪ 2276 01:37:07,514 --> 01:37:09,281 ♪ WE FELT BON VIVANTS ♪ 2277 01:37:09,283 --> 01:37:11,016 ♪ YOU KNOW, MACADOCIOUS ♪ 2278 01:37:11,018 --> 01:37:12,851 ♪ WITH THESE BROADS UPON OUR NUTS ♪ 2279 01:37:12,853 --> 01:37:14,452 ♪ SO THE WENDYS GOT BEEF ♪ 2280 01:37:14,454 --> 01:37:16,354 ♪ AND THEY DON'T WANT IT ON TWO BUNS ♪ 2281 01:37:16,356 --> 01:37:18,456 ♪ THEY'RE THE CAPTAINS OF CLUB T.O.B.'s ♪ 2282 01:37:18,458 --> 01:37:20,158 ♪ HOLLYWOOD CHICK ALLIANCE 2283 01:37:20,160 --> 01:37:22,027 ♪ WE GO BACK AND FORTH 2284 01:37:22,029 --> 01:37:23,895 ♪ LIKE PING-PONG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS IN CHINA ♪ 2285 01:37:23,897 --> 01:37:25,931 ♪ WITH THE ABORTION EXTORTION ♪ 2286 01:37:25,933 --> 01:37:27,566 ♪ AND THE NUCLEAR OPTION 2287 01:37:27,568 --> 01:37:29,434 ♪ TO MAKE US BOYS WANNA FORFEIT ♪ 2288 01:37:29,436 --> 01:37:31,303 ♪ AND LOOK STUPID IN THE PROCESS ♪ 2289 01:37:31,305 --> 01:37:33,405 ♪ BUT I'M STILL SQUEEZING BREASTESES ♪ 2290 01:37:33,407 --> 01:37:35,440 ♪ YOUR GUESS IS I'M A PLASTIC SURGEON ♪ 2291 01:37:35,442 --> 01:37:37,576 ♪ NOT EXACTLY, BUT THEY DEFINITELY ♪ 2292 01:37:37,578 --> 01:37:42,214 ♪ GOT MY PACKAGE TURGID, TURGID, TURGID... ♪ 169633