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1
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[♪♪♪]
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00:00:23,417 --> 00:00:26,500
YOUNG MAN: She was the
first girl to see me naked.
3
00:00:26,583 --> 00:00:28,291
Granted we were
7 years old at the time,
4
00:00:28,375 --> 00:00:31,875
but I had a feeling even then.
5
00:00:31,959 --> 00:00:34,244
There's really something about the
first girl you play doctor with.
6
00:00:34,250 --> 00:00:35,625
Maybe it's cosmic or something,
7
00:00:35,709 --> 00:00:38,333
or perhaps it's just that
she's seen your package
8
00:00:38,417 --> 00:00:40,333
and didn't run away screaming.
9
00:00:40,417 --> 00:00:43,917
Whatever it was, Allison and I
were made for each other,
10
00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:45,083
a perfect fit.
11
00:00:45,166 --> 00:00:47,208
So when her family moved away,
12
00:00:47,291 --> 00:00:52,500
I-- I knew that someday, somehow,
fate would bring us back together.
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00:00:54,291 --> 00:00:55,208
♪ Happiness ♪
14
00:00:55,291 --> 00:00:57,917
ALLISON: Berke.
15
00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:02,208
♪ Happiness ♪[STOPS] Berke Landers.
16
00:01:02,291 --> 00:01:04,250
It's me, Allison.
17
00:01:04,333 --> 00:01:06,250
Allison McAllister?
18
00:01:06,333 --> 00:01:07,500
[♪♪♪]
19
00:01:09,500 --> 00:01:12,542
Of all the lunchrooms in all
the schools in all the world,
20
00:01:12,625 --> 00:01:15,917
that day, she walked into mine.
21
00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:17,583
It was the perfect romance.
22
00:01:17,667 --> 00:01:20,709
I was dating the most
beautiful girl in school.
23
00:01:20,792 --> 00:01:24,250
And the cool part?
We still played doctor.
24
00:01:24,333 --> 00:01:26,875
♪ Happiness ♪
25
00:01:26,959 --> 00:01:30,250
For the first time in my life,
I was in love,
26
00:01:30,333 --> 00:01:32,208
and I knew
it would last forever.
27
00:01:34,333 --> 00:01:36,000
Boy, was I a dumb-ass.
28
00:01:38,792 --> 00:01:40,500
We need to talk.
29
00:01:42,542 --> 00:01:47,291
Um, you know,
everything in life,
30
00:01:47,375 --> 00:01:50,417
e-- even the really great
things,
31
00:01:50,500 --> 00:01:52,875
run their course eventually.
32
00:01:52,959 --> 00:01:54,208
Right?
33
00:01:54,291 --> 00:01:56,291
Trends fade.
34
00:01:56,375 --> 00:01:59,250
Bread molds.
35
00:01:59,333 --> 00:02:02,041
People die.
36
00:02:02,125 --> 00:02:04,041
Uh-huh.
37
00:02:04,125 --> 00:02:05,750
[SIGHS]
38
00:02:05,834 --> 00:02:08,750
I guess--
39
00:02:08,834 --> 00:02:11,959
Remember the first time we kissed?
40
00:02:12,041 --> 00:02:15,291
The feeling, the sparks?
41
00:02:15,375 --> 00:02:17,083
Yeah.
42
00:02:17,166 --> 00:02:20,917
Well, now when we kiss,
43
00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:22,083
the feeling,
44
00:02:22,166 --> 00:02:23,333
it's-- It's kind of--
45
00:02:25,375 --> 00:02:27,208
It's kind of gone.
46
00:02:39,041 --> 00:02:40,542
Oh, and, Berke?
47
00:02:44,709 --> 00:02:47,083
I packed up most of your stuff.
48
00:02:48,083 --> 00:02:49,417
I thought it'd be easier.
49
00:02:52,291 --> 00:02:53,625
Thanks.
50
00:03:17,458 --> 00:03:18,834
♪ Love ♪
51
00:03:18,917 --> 00:03:22,291
♪ Love will keep us together ♪
52
00:03:22,375 --> 00:03:25,625
♪ Think of me babe whenever ♪
53
00:03:25,709 --> 00:03:29,375
♪ Some sweet-talkin' girl
comes along ♪
54
00:03:29,458 --> 00:03:31,083
♪ Singin' a song ♪
55
00:03:31,166 --> 00:03:34,417
♪ Don't mess around
you just gotta be strong ♪
56
00:03:34,500 --> 00:03:37,834
♪ Just stop
'cause I really love you ♪
57
00:03:37,917 --> 00:03:41,542
♪ Stop I been thinkin' of you ♪
58
00:03:41,625 --> 00:03:44,375
♪ Look in my heart
and let love ♪
59
00:03:44,458 --> 00:03:47,458
♪ Keep us together ♪
60
00:03:52,083 --> 00:03:53,583
♪ You ♪
♪ you-doo-doo-doo ♪
61
00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:55,583
♪ You belong to me now ♪
62
00:03:55,667 --> 00:03:56,834
♪ Doo doo-doo-doo ♪
63
00:03:56,917 --> 00:03:59,250
♪ Ain't gonna set you free now ♪
64
00:03:59,333 --> 00:04:00,250
♪ Doo-doo-doo ♪
65
00:04:00,333 --> 00:04:04,041
♪ When those girls
start hangin' around ♪
66
00:04:04,125 --> 00:04:05,542
♪ Talkin' me down ♪
67
00:04:05,625 --> 00:04:08,709
♪ Hear with your heart
and you won't hear a sound ♪
68
00:04:08,792 --> 00:04:10,208
♪ Just stop ♪
♪ stop ♪
69
00:04:10,291 --> 00:04:12,375
♪ 'Cause I really love you ♪
70
00:04:12,458 --> 00:04:13,625
♪ Stop ♪
♪ stop ♪
71
00:04:13,709 --> 00:04:15,959
♪ I've been thinkin' of you ♪
72
00:04:16,041 --> 00:04:18,458
♪ Look in my heart and let love ♪
73
00:04:18,542 --> 00:04:22,417
♪ Keep us together ♪
74
00:04:22,500 --> 00:04:24,709
♪ Whatever ♪
75
00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:29,583
♪ Young and beautiful ♪
76
00:04:29,667 --> 00:04:33,458
♪ Someday your looks'll be gone ♪
77
00:04:33,542 --> 00:04:36,291
♪ When the others turn you off ♪
78
00:04:36,375 --> 00:04:38,417
♪ Who'll be turnin' you on? ♪
79
00:04:38,500 --> 00:04:41,083
♪ I will, I will, I will ♪
80
00:04:41,166 --> 00:04:46,542
♪ I will be there
to share forever ♪
81
00:04:46,625 --> 00:04:49,875
♪ Love will keep us together ♪
82
00:04:49,959 --> 00:04:53,333
♪ I said it before
and I'll say it again ♪
83
00:04:53,417 --> 00:04:55,125
♪ While others pretend ♪
84
00:04:55,208 --> 00:04:58,458
♪ I need you now
and I need you then ♪
85
00:04:58,542 --> 00:05:00,291
♪ Just stop ♪
♪ stop ♪
86
00:05:00,375 --> 00:05:02,291
♪ 'Cause I really love you ♪
87
00:05:02,375 --> 00:05:03,500
♪ Stop ♪
♪ stop ♪
88
00:05:03,583 --> 00:05:05,625
♪ I been thinkin' of you ♪
89
00:05:05,709 --> 00:05:08,291
♪ Look in my heart and let love ♪
90
00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:12,083
♪ Keep us together ♪
91
00:05:12,166 --> 00:05:13,417
♪ Whatever ♪
92
00:05:13,500 --> 00:05:17,458
♪ Whatev-- whatever ever ever ♪
♪ I will, I will, I will ♪
93
00:05:17,542 --> 00:05:20,458
♪ I will ♪
♪ ahh ♪
94
00:05:20,542 --> 00:05:23,458
♪ Ia-da-da-dah ♪
95
00:05:23,542 --> 00:05:27,083
♪ Dah-da-la-la ♪
96
00:05:27,166 --> 00:05:30,000
♪ Dah-da-da-dah ♪
97
00:05:30,083 --> 00:05:33,458
♪ Sedaka is back ♪
98
00:05:33,542 --> 00:05:36,709
♪ Dah-da-da-dah ♪
99
00:05:36,792 --> 00:05:39,542
Aaaaaah!
100
00:05:47,291 --> 00:05:50,333
BERKE: My parents, frank and
Beverly, they host the, uh,
101
00:05:50,417 --> 00:05:52,869
relationship advice show love matters,
[STUDIO AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
102
00:05:52,875 --> 00:05:54,500
Which sounds pretty cool--
103
00:05:54,583 --> 00:05:56,500
This maximizes the pleasure
for both partners.
104
00:05:56,583 --> 00:05:58,333
Exactly, right, right, and, and
105
00:05:58,417 --> 00:06:01,208
while simultaneously allowing
for face-to-face intimacy.
106
00:06:01,291 --> 00:06:02,786
FRANK: Coolio knows what we're
talking about. What do you think?
107
00:06:02,792 --> 00:06:05,709
You wanna take her for a spin?
Huh?
108
00:06:05,792 --> 00:06:09,834
We'll be right back.
[STINGER]
109
00:06:09,917 --> 00:06:11,237
Here are the CDs you wanted, mom.
110
00:06:11,250 --> 00:06:12,500
Oh, thanks, honey.
111
00:06:12,583 --> 00:06:13,703
You know,
the guests get so cranky
112
00:06:13,709 --> 00:06:15,542
when you haven't heard
their music.
113
00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:18,375
Now, you came home
so early last night.
114
00:06:18,458 --> 00:06:19,542
Don't make it too flat.
115
00:06:19,625 --> 00:06:21,542
Is everything OK with Allison?
116
00:06:21,625 --> 00:06:23,917
No, not really.
So maybe we can talk about it--
117
00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:26,542
Uh, Berke, you know the rule.
118
00:06:26,625 --> 00:06:29,208
When we're not
feeling sunny, we--
119
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I don't really want to talk about it here.
I believe the word is share.
120
00:06:32,583 --> 00:06:36,166
Frank, hon, apparently Berke
has a problem with Allison.
121
00:06:36,250 --> 00:06:39,667
What's the story, dude? A little snafu
in the old channels of communication?
122
00:06:39,750 --> 00:06:41,542
Boundary issues?
Codependency?
123
00:06:41,625 --> 00:06:43,208
No, it's, it's nothing
like that.
124
00:06:43,291 --> 00:06:44,744
FLOOR MANAGER: Five minutes, people.
125
00:06:44,750 --> 00:06:46,291
PARENTS: Sex.
126
00:06:47,625 --> 00:06:49,583
She dumped me.
127
00:06:49,667 --> 00:06:51,917
Darling.
STUDIO AUDIENCE: Aww!
128
00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:55,834
[IN AUDIENCE]
WOMAN: Ohh! You poor baby!
129
00:06:55,917 --> 00:06:58,417
This probably isn't the best
place to talk about this.
130
00:06:58,500 --> 00:06:59,750
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
131
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[SCRATCHING, HIP-HOP]♪ you got to be insane ♪
132
00:07:03,667 --> 00:07:05,583
♪ That green Jesus ♪
133
00:07:05,667 --> 00:07:07,542
♪ You got to be insane ♪
134
00:07:07,625 --> 00:07:09,625
♪ That green Jesus ♪
135
00:07:09,709 --> 00:07:11,417
♪ You got to be insane ♪
136
00:07:11,500 --> 00:07:12,875
♪ That green Jesus ♪
137
00:07:12,959 --> 00:07:14,583
♪ You got to be insane ♪
138
00:07:14,667 --> 00:07:16,792
♪ That green Jesus ♪
139
00:07:16,875 --> 00:07:18,583
♪ You got to be insane ♪
140
00:07:18,667 --> 00:07:21,583
I wanna go home.
Oh, it's gonna be fine, man.
141
00:07:21,667 --> 00:07:23,041
It's gonna be better than fine.
142
00:07:23,125 --> 00:07:25,709
I mean, look at all this
new and interesting--
143
00:07:25,792 --> 00:07:27,750
Hey, that's my sister!
144
00:07:27,834 --> 00:07:29,417
♪ You got to be insane ♪
145
00:07:29,500 --> 00:07:31,750
Hey, grabby hands,
step away from the sister.
146
00:07:31,834 --> 00:07:33,625
♪ You got to be insane ♪
147
00:07:33,709 --> 00:07:36,583
Shouldn't you be at, like, a
pajama jammy-jam or somethin'?
148
00:07:36,667 --> 00:07:38,625
What am I,
a year younger than you?
149
00:07:38,709 --> 00:07:43,667
Not than anybody could tell from your
birthday presents-- pink rollerblades.
150
00:07:43,750 --> 00:07:45,792
It was a great gift.
Sure.
151
00:07:45,875 --> 00:07:47,959
Can I help you?
Huh?
152
00:07:48,041 --> 00:07:50,458
Uh... no.
Come on, basin.
153
00:07:50,542 --> 00:07:53,077
There's a guy in the corner who says
he'll Pierce our navels for free.
154
00:07:53,083 --> 00:07:55,417
Ooh!
What?
155
00:07:55,500 --> 00:07:58,583
OK, he's here. He's here.
So?
156
00:07:58,667 --> 00:08:00,917
So I told him I was going
out of town, Maggie.
157
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:03,458
He's gonna freak
when he finds out I'm here.
158
00:08:03,542 --> 00:08:05,625
Al, you're a free agent now.
159
00:08:05,709 --> 00:08:07,661
Don't you think he needs
to start dealing with that?
160
00:08:07,667 --> 00:08:11,667
You should've seen the look on his face, Maggie.
I mean, he was devastated.
161
00:08:11,750 --> 00:08:14,500
It's gonna take him a while
to get over this. Allison?
162
00:08:14,583 --> 00:08:16,667
Are you sure you're over this?
163
00:08:19,417 --> 00:08:20,458
Allow me.
164
00:08:20,542 --> 00:08:22,125
♪ Say yeah what do you want? ♪
165
00:08:22,208 --> 00:08:25,083
[♪♪♪]
166
00:08:26,750 --> 00:08:29,917
Who was that? Ouch!
167
00:08:31,917 --> 00:08:33,875
Is this, like, your first time
in the states?
168
00:08:33,959 --> 00:08:36,667
Well, uh-- Lucky, right?
169
00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:38,333
[GIGGLING]
170
00:08:38,417 --> 00:08:40,625
Are you guys listening
to this candy-ass?
171
00:08:40,709 --> 00:08:44,709
My father's in the foreign service, so
I've spent the last few years abroad--
172
00:08:44,792 --> 00:08:47,500
Shanghai, Ludwigshafen.
173
00:08:47,583 --> 00:08:48,619
In fact,
when I was in Amsterdam,
174
00:08:48,625 --> 00:08:50,667
I toured a little bit
with a little pop group
175
00:08:50,750 --> 00:08:52,709
called the swing town lads.
176
00:08:52,792 --> 00:08:54,125
[GIRLS GASPING, CHATTERING]
177
00:08:54,208 --> 00:08:56,125
You know,
I knew he looked familiar.
178
00:08:56,208 --> 00:08:59,125
What's up with this accent?
He sounds like Madonna.
179
00:09:01,583 --> 00:09:03,417
She's here.
Who, Madonna?
180
00:09:04,792 --> 00:09:07,375
No. Allison.
181
00:09:07,458 --> 00:09:09,917
Ohh!
It's perfect.
182
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:13,709
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
You are not going over there.
183
00:09:13,792 --> 00:09:17,709
You go over there, you might as
well put your stick on a cracker.
184
00:09:17,792 --> 00:09:21,959
You know, it's still only gonna make you
her bitch. You don't want that. It's bad!
185
00:09:22,834 --> 00:09:24,709
Felix, I've taken pisses
186
00:09:24,792 --> 00:09:27,000
longer than your
last three relationships.
187
00:09:27,792 --> 00:09:30,500
Ohh!
Oh! Right you are.
188
00:09:30,583 --> 00:09:32,208
Thanks.
You OK?
189
00:09:32,291 --> 00:09:33,709
Yes. Yeah. I think so.
190
00:09:33,792 --> 00:09:35,875
Yes, well, it's a tad
rough-and-tumble out there.
191
00:09:35,959 --> 00:09:37,709
Glad I was here to catch you.
192
00:09:37,792 --> 00:09:40,166
I'm glad you were, too.
193
00:09:40,250 --> 00:09:41,375
[GASPS]
194
00:09:41,458 --> 00:09:43,750
Would you care to dance?
195
00:09:43,834 --> 00:09:46,834
[SALSA]
196
00:10:15,834 --> 00:10:19,041
[♪♪♪]
197
00:10:47,917 --> 00:10:50,000
She's not your girlfriend anymore, man.
198
00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:52,500
You know, maybe that's not
such a bad thing.
199
00:10:52,583 --> 00:10:55,458
I mean, next year you guys'll
be going to different schools.
200
00:10:55,542 --> 00:10:57,458
I mean, what were you gonna do,
marry her?
201
00:10:57,542 --> 00:10:59,869
I mean, come on, who marries their
high-school girlfriend, anyway?
202
00:10:59,875 --> 00:11:01,625
And don't say Macaulay Culkin.
203
00:11:01,709 --> 00:11:03,792
[PHONE BEEPING]
I think I'm gonna call her.
204
00:11:03,875 --> 00:11:06,000
No. Negative.
205
00:11:06,083 --> 00:11:08,458
[GROANS]
Have some self-respect, man.
206
00:11:08,542 --> 00:11:10,917
You have called her 40 times already.
207
00:11:13,291 --> 00:11:15,291
Get outta my way!
Oh, shit.
208
00:11:16,291 --> 00:11:19,000
♪ I, I stand at attention ♪
209
00:11:19,083 --> 00:11:21,834
♪ Whenever you're near ♪
♪ you're near ♪
210
00:11:21,917 --> 00:11:25,709
♪ Full speed ahead girl
'cause it's clear ♪
211
00:11:25,792 --> 00:11:30,166
♪ That you are my luv S.C.U.D. ♪
212
00:11:30,250 --> 00:11:32,375
MAGGIE: He calls himself Striker.
213
00:11:32,458 --> 00:11:36,875
[ALLISON GIGGLING]
"Luv S.C.U.D.?"
214
00:11:36,959 --> 00:11:39,208
So what did he say
when he gave it to you?
215
00:11:39,291 --> 00:11:42,875
Mm, I don't know.
He asked me out.
216
00:11:42,959 --> 00:11:47,291
[GASPS] Well, don't be so
nonchalant about it, girl.
217
00:11:47,375 --> 00:11:50,542
I think that boy is razor fine.
218
00:11:50,625 --> 00:11:52,834
BERKE:♪ oh, it's so
funny to be seein' you ♪
219
00:11:52,917 --> 00:11:54,160
FELIX: Look, Berke, don't go--
220
00:11:54,166 --> 00:11:55,750
♪ After so long, girl ♪
oh, my god.
221
00:11:55,834 --> 00:11:58,750
Berke, don't-- don't--
♪ and the way you look I understand ♪
222
00:11:58,834 --> 00:12:02,208
♪ That you aren't impressed ♪
223
00:12:02,291 --> 00:12:06,333
♪ I heard you let
a little friend of mine ♪
224
00:12:06,417 --> 00:12:09,875
♪ Take off your party dress ♪
225
00:12:09,959 --> 00:12:13,917
♪ Oh, Allison ♪
226
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,761
I can't believe you dated that loser for a year.
♪ I know this world ♪
227
00:12:16,834 --> 00:12:18,953
♪ Is killin' you ♪WOMAN: Knock it off! We'll call the cops!
228
00:12:18,959 --> 00:12:20,875
♪ Allison ♪FELIX: Did you hear that?
229
00:12:20,959 --> 00:12:22,750
The neighbors
are screaming at you, Berke!
230
00:12:22,834 --> 00:12:24,667
♪ My aim is-- ♪
Come on, let's go!
231
00:12:24,750 --> 00:12:26,542
[CRASH, THUD]
232
00:12:26,625 --> 00:12:29,542
[BERKE SCREAMS, WHINES]
233
00:12:29,625 --> 00:12:31,208
Berke, your aim sucks.
234
00:12:34,208 --> 00:12:37,917
All right, a little to the left, Jessica--
What direction do you think left is?
235
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:40,035
See, because if you go with
your instinct and reverse it
236
00:12:40,041 --> 00:12:41,327
I think we have
something happening.
237
00:12:41,333 --> 00:12:45,542
How difficult is this?
I-- I'm so alone, I think.
238
00:12:45,625 --> 00:12:47,542
I am trying.
You are intimidating me.
239
00:12:47,625 --> 00:12:50,375
Well, you are frightening me!
Do you understand that?
240
00:12:50,458 --> 00:12:51,703
How do you get dressed
in the morning?
241
00:12:51,709 --> 00:12:53,083
Do you have people that come in
242
00:12:53,166 --> 00:12:54,959
or you just lie in state?
243
00:12:55,041 --> 00:12:57,917
"A midsummer night's
rockin' Eve?"
244
00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:01,625
Classical Shakespeare with a contemporary
musical twist. [PHONE RINGS]
245
00:13:01,709 --> 00:13:06,083
Hello? Oh, my god!
How did you get this number?
246
00:13:06,166 --> 00:13:07,446
[LAUGHS]
Oh, you're kidding me!
247
00:13:07,458 --> 00:13:09,750
OK, either that man has no taste
248
00:13:09,834 --> 00:13:10,875
or he completely hates us.
249
00:13:10,959 --> 00:13:12,917
I think it's a little of both.
250
00:13:13,041 --> 00:13:15,417
Lazario, how's that lobotomy
workin' out for ya?
251
00:13:15,500 --> 00:13:17,458
Asi, asi.
So what's with the smiling?
252
00:13:17,542 --> 00:13:20,125
A week ago you were mired
in rejected drunk-guy mode.
253
00:13:20,208 --> 00:13:23,458
You pass the final or what?
No, I got a 57.
254
00:13:23,542 --> 00:13:26,917
Ouch.
STRIKER: Hello, ladies.
255
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:29,959
FELIX: I'm sorry, man.
I mean, that's that's gotta suck.
256
00:13:30,041 --> 00:13:33,417
No, just a mild annoyance.
See? Yeah! There you go.
257
00:13:33,500 --> 00:13:35,750
All right, you know,
if she wants to screw around
258
00:13:35,834 --> 00:13:36,911
with that clown, let her, right?
259
00:13:36,917 --> 00:13:40,125
Yeah, for now, anyway.
What's that supposed to mean?
260
00:13:40,208 --> 00:13:44,625
Well, if I'm gonna lose Allison, it's not
going to be to a turd like that, right?
261
00:13:44,709 --> 00:13:46,667
MALE SINGER:♪ I'm not upset ♪
262
00:13:46,750 --> 00:13:48,208
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
263
00:13:48,291 --> 00:13:50,744
You know, obviously, there's something
about the guy Allison really likes.
264
00:13:50,750 --> 00:13:51,667
Yeah, obviously.
265
00:13:51,750 --> 00:13:52,792
[♪♪♪]
266
00:13:52,875 --> 00:13:54,750
Come on, Landers,
wake up out there!
267
00:13:56,291 --> 00:13:58,375
COACH: Fancy moves, crazy legs.
268
00:14:00,625 --> 00:14:03,208
In your face.
God, there he is again.
269
00:14:03,291 --> 00:14:06,500
I don't know how you could take someone
seriously with an accent like that.
270
00:14:06,583 --> 00:14:08,458
Berke, just face it, man.
You're screwed.
271
00:14:08,542 --> 00:14:11,834
I don't think so. I think I can
take this backstreet bitch.
272
00:14:11,917 --> 00:14:14,667
[CHUCKLES][WHISTLE BLOWS]
273
00:14:19,208 --> 00:14:20,667
GIRL: Ohh!
274
00:14:20,750 --> 00:14:22,417
[BOY LAUGHS]
275
00:14:23,917 --> 00:14:26,834
Nice trick, Landers, catching
the ball with your face.
276
00:14:26,917 --> 00:14:31,000
Next thing you know, you'll be
shooting three-pointers with your ass.
277
00:14:31,083 --> 00:14:33,667
[SIGHS]
Berke.
278
00:14:33,750 --> 00:14:35,000
Berke, stop. Berke!
279
00:14:35,083 --> 00:14:39,041
Will you let me look at it, please?
Just go back to practice.
280
00:14:39,125 --> 00:14:41,417
Berke, talk to me.
281
00:14:42,959 --> 00:14:47,917
I just don't understand how you
can replace me with this guy.
282
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:53,041
Berke, no one can replace you,
you know?
283
00:14:53,125 --> 00:14:55,792
It's just... time to move on.
284
00:14:57,500 --> 00:15:01,333
So everything's just going great
with this, this Striker?
285
00:15:02,917 --> 00:15:04,875
No, it-- it's just...
286
00:15:04,959 --> 00:15:08,208
Uh, different, you know?
I mean--
287
00:15:08,291 --> 00:15:11,041
He's not like other guys our age.
You know?
288
00:15:11,125 --> 00:15:13,500
He's-- he's sophisticated and--
289
00:15:13,583 --> 00:15:19,917
We're even gonna try out for-- for
the-- the spring musical together.
290
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:21,625
You hate theater.
291
00:15:23,542 --> 00:15:24,834
No, I don't.
292
00:15:27,291 --> 00:15:29,750
"Captain of the fairy band,
293
00:15:29,834 --> 00:15:33,083
Helena is close at hand."
294
00:15:33,166 --> 00:15:35,917
I'm understanding about every
other word of this shit.
295
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:38,250
Berke.
Hey.
296
00:15:38,333 --> 00:15:42,083
What happened to your face?
A long story.
297
00:15:42,166 --> 00:15:46,542
A midsummer night's dream? What, are
you gonna try out for the show?
298
00:15:46,625 --> 00:15:48,041
Kinda, sor-- maybe.
299
00:15:48,125 --> 00:15:53,125
Well, you know, if you're serious about
it, I'm kinda good at that stuff.
300
00:15:53,208 --> 00:15:55,750
Really?
Have you heard her songs?
301
00:15:55,834 --> 00:15:59,583
She's only like the next Josie Mitchell.
Joni Mitchell.
302
00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:02,291
I-- I could actually
use some help.
303
00:16:02,375 --> 00:16:05,208
So tomorrow, coffee?
304
00:16:06,166 --> 00:16:09,625
OK. Coffee would be great.
OK.
305
00:16:09,709 --> 00:16:11,792
Bye.
Bye.
306
00:16:11,875 --> 00:16:13,417
[GIGGLING]
307
00:16:13,500 --> 00:16:16,083
"If you're serious,
I'm kinda good at that stuff."
308
00:16:16,166 --> 00:16:17,583
Shut up! "Shut up!"
[GASPS]
309
00:16:17,667 --> 00:16:19,869
Did you see Dennis staring at me again?
What? Oh, I know.
310
00:16:19,875 --> 00:16:21,125
I told you.
Totally.
311
00:16:21,208 --> 00:16:22,917
OK, so the first thing
we need to do
312
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:26,166
is pick you out a monologue
for your audition.
313
00:16:26,250 --> 00:16:28,208
Yeah, this is good.
Lysander, right?
314
00:16:31,709 --> 00:16:34,077
[RAPIDLY] Uh, "she sees not Hermia.
Hermia sleep thou there--"
315
00:16:34,083 --> 00:16:38,458
no, wait, no. You-- you can't, like, run all
the words together. It doesn't work like that.
316
00:16:38,542 --> 00:16:41,333
But that's OK. We'll-- we'll
start from the beginning, OK?
317
00:16:41,417 --> 00:16:43,166
It's-- it's kind of hard
to understand,
318
00:16:43,250 --> 00:16:46,959
but once you get into it, the
story's actually kind of good.
319
00:16:47,041 --> 00:16:52,166
So, Hermia, this girl here,
she's very rich and beautiful
320
00:16:52,250 --> 00:16:55,333
and she lives with her
overbearing parents in Athens.
321
00:16:55,417 --> 00:16:58,041
Now, Hermia has everything
a girl could ask for,
322
00:16:58,125 --> 00:17:03,333
cool clothes, nice complexion and her
pick of pretty much any guy she wants.
323
00:17:03,417 --> 00:17:06,000
But of all the guys
in the greater Athens area,
324
00:17:06,083 --> 00:17:09,166
Hermia's heart belongs to the
handsome young nobleman, Lysander.
325
00:17:09,250 --> 00:17:10,834
[HORSE WHINNIES]
326
00:17:10,917 --> 00:17:14,625
This would all be perfect
if it weren't for Demetrius.
327
00:17:14,709 --> 00:17:17,166
Hermia's father already
promised her hand to him,
328
00:17:17,250 --> 00:17:22,125
and he's just as charming and handsome
as Lysander, maybe even more so.
329
00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:26,500
Not to mention, Demetrius will stop
at nothing to make Hermia his bride.
330
00:17:26,583 --> 00:17:29,125
This pretty much
leaves Lysander screwed.
331
00:17:31,291 --> 00:17:33,208
All right. Got it.
332
00:17:33,291 --> 00:17:37,834
Uh, you make it, uh, very easy.
333
00:17:37,917 --> 00:17:39,375
We just started.
334
00:17:39,458 --> 00:17:42,041
Kelly, I'm not exactly
trying to win an Oscar here.
335
00:17:42,125 --> 00:17:46,417
I'm just trying to get
my girlfriend back. Thanks.
336
00:17:49,750 --> 00:17:51,667
Hi! How are you?
337
00:17:51,750 --> 00:17:54,542
Hi, new faces,
how are you today?
338
00:17:54,625 --> 00:17:56,333
I'm Dr. Desmond Forrest Oates,
339
00:17:56,417 --> 00:18:00,208
fine arts chair
and all that hoopla.
340
00:18:00,291 --> 00:18:01,875
The purpose of these proceedings
341
00:18:01,959 --> 00:18:05,083
is to separate
the wheat from the chaff.
342
00:18:05,166 --> 00:18:10,291
And I think we might be amazed that
among us is a new glimmering star,
343
00:18:10,375 --> 00:18:13,083
our school's next--
344
00:18:13,166 --> 00:18:16,041
Well, our next Peter Wong.
345
00:18:16,125 --> 00:18:18,917
[KIDS CHATTERING, SCOFFING]
Hey, Petey.
346
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:20,166
Cool shirt.
347
00:18:21,792 --> 00:18:23,750
For those of you
who don't make the cut,
348
00:18:23,834 --> 00:18:25,458
please, I beg of you,
don't despair.
349
00:18:25,542 --> 00:18:27,000
There's always stage crew.
350
00:18:27,083 --> 00:18:29,583
And if you've ever had a
conversation with a crew member,
351
00:18:29,667 --> 00:18:31,709
you know how much fun that can be.
[FARTING]
352
00:18:31,792 --> 00:18:34,291
I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
I couldn't resist it.
353
00:18:34,375 --> 00:18:36,542
You egg me on, is the problem.
354
00:18:36,625 --> 00:18:39,375
All right, the procedure is
gonna be very, very, very basic.
355
00:18:39,458 --> 00:18:41,291
We're gonna start
with the singing audition.
356
00:18:41,375 --> 00:18:45,208
OK? So loosen up
those diaphragms, kiddies.
357
00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:47,291
It's time to impress.
358
00:18:47,375 --> 00:18:51,291
[FALSETTO, SOPRANO]♪ where the bee sucks there suck I ♪
359
00:18:51,375 --> 00:18:53,959
♪ In a cowslip's bell I lie ♪
360
00:18:54,041 --> 00:18:56,959
♪ There I couch when owls do cry ♪
361
00:18:57,041 --> 00:18:59,667
[BASSO]♪ on the bat's back I do fly ♪
362
00:18:59,750 --> 00:19:05,291
[FALSETTO, SOPRANO]♪ after summer merrily-y-y-y-y ♪
363
00:19:05,375 --> 00:19:08,500
♪ Take a look here I am ♪
364
00:19:08,583 --> 00:19:11,750
♪ Can't you see? ♪
365
00:19:11,834 --> 00:19:16,291
♪ One simple smile from you
could set me free ♪
366
00:19:16,375 --> 00:19:19,750
♪ So if you take a look ♪
367
00:19:19,834 --> 00:19:24,250
♪ Let your heart be your guide ♪
368
00:19:24,333 --> 00:19:26,125
♪ I'll show you love ♪
369
00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:28,208
♪ If you take a look ♪
370
00:19:28,291 --> 00:19:33,667
♪ At the girl inside ♪
371
00:19:33,750 --> 00:19:38,208
Oh, that was-- that was fun.
Who's the composer on that?
372
00:19:38,291 --> 00:19:40,875
Me, actually.
373
00:19:40,959 --> 00:19:44,667
I'm sorry, were you-- were you
expecting an applause on that?
374
00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:46,500
This is an audition, not T.R.L.
375
00:19:46,583 --> 00:19:49,542
[FORREST OATES CHUCKLES]
I know that.
376
00:19:49,625 --> 00:19:52,834
Who's next? "Bentley Scrumfeld."
377
00:19:52,917 --> 00:19:55,834
One of the original swing town
lads, if I'm not mistaken.
378
00:19:55,917 --> 00:19:58,000
I see you know your boy groups, sir.
379
00:19:58,083 --> 00:20:00,125
I follow the popular arts.
380
00:20:01,417 --> 00:20:03,458
To me they're so dope.
381
00:20:03,542 --> 00:20:07,834
If you don't mind,
I'd like to accompany myself.
382
00:20:07,917 --> 00:20:09,625
Ah. Put that down.
383
00:20:10,458 --> 00:20:12,417
Thank you.
384
00:20:12,500 --> 00:20:16,417
This one's kind of
a personal favorite of mine.
385
00:20:16,500 --> 00:20:19,500
[PIANO: GLISSANDO]
386
00:20:19,583 --> 00:20:21,583
[GIRLS GIGGLING, SIGHING]
387
00:20:21,667 --> 00:20:23,667
♪ Oh, it's so funny ♪
388
00:20:23,750 --> 00:20:28,208
♪ To be seeing you
after so long, girl ♪
389
00:20:28,291 --> 00:20:31,333
♪ And the way you look I understand ♪
390
00:20:31,417 --> 00:20:34,500
♪ That you are not impressed ♪
391
00:20:34,583 --> 00:20:40,375
♪ But I heard you let
that little friend of mine ♪
392
00:20:40,458 --> 00:20:43,583
♪ Take off your party dress ♪
393
00:20:43,667 --> 00:20:45,375
[GASPS, WHISPERS]
Oh, my.
394
00:20:45,458 --> 00:20:50,583
♪ Allison ♪
395
00:20:50,667 --> 00:20:57,208
♪ I know this world is killin' you ♪
396
00:20:57,291 --> 00:21:01,875
♪ Allison ♪
397
00:21:01,959 --> 00:21:03,583
[GIRLS MURMURING, CHATTERING]
398
00:21:03,667 --> 00:21:05,458
♪ My aim is true ♪
he's the best one.
399
00:21:05,542 --> 00:21:07,500
He's the best one
we've seen so far.
400
00:21:09,542 --> 00:21:12,750
♪ My aim is ♪
401
00:21:12,834 --> 00:21:14,417
[GUTTURAL WHISPER]
True.
402
00:21:14,500 --> 00:21:17,750
[CHORDS: GLISSANDO]
403
00:21:17,834 --> 00:21:19,074
[GIRLS MURMURING, CHATTERING]
404
00:21:19,125 --> 00:21:20,041
[END CHORDS]
405
00:21:20,125 --> 00:21:21,333
Very nice, Mr. Striker.
406
00:21:21,417 --> 00:21:24,250
[GIRLS CHEERING, SHOUTING]
That is very impressive indeed.
407
00:21:24,333 --> 00:21:27,417
That's, uh, that's-- wow.
408
00:21:27,500 --> 00:21:29,083
Alrighty.
Well, if there's no one else--
409
00:21:29,166 --> 00:21:30,959
Wait.
GIRL: What?
410
00:21:31,041 --> 00:21:34,959
May I help you? Berke Landers.
I'm here to audition.
411
00:21:35,041 --> 00:21:39,667
FORREST OATES: Ah. Berke Landers.
Goody for me.
412
00:21:39,750 --> 00:21:44,333
Uh, I'd like to read a monologue
by Oberon in the third act.
413
00:21:44,417 --> 00:21:48,750
Oh, I can't wait to hear it, but first
I need to hear your singing audition.
414
00:21:48,834 --> 00:21:49,417
Excuse me?
415
00:21:49,500 --> 00:21:50,917
The procedure, Mr. Landers,
416
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:54,083
is that we sing first
and then we read later.
417
00:21:55,583 --> 00:21:57,500
Uh--
[CHUCKLES]
418
00:21:57,583 --> 00:21:58,661
Jessica, could you help me here?
419
00:21:58,667 --> 00:22:01,458
I-I-i-i-I'm sinking
in quicksand, unfortunately,
420
00:22:01,542 --> 00:22:02,959
with this boy.
421
00:22:03,041 --> 00:22:05,500
Sing first, read later.
Sing first, read later.
422
00:22:19,583 --> 00:22:23,041
Any song?
Any song you want.
423
00:22:25,417 --> 00:22:29,333
[WHISPERING]♪ kiss a little longer
make it last a little longer ♪
424
00:22:29,417 --> 00:22:33,583
Projection, Mr. Berke, projection.
425
00:22:37,250 --> 00:22:38,959
♪ Kiss a little longer ♪
426
00:22:39,041 --> 00:22:41,333
♪ Stay close a little longer ♪
427
00:22:41,417 --> 00:22:43,250
[STUDENTS GROANING]
428
00:22:48,583 --> 00:22:50,959
♪ Hold tight a little longer ♪
429
00:22:52,792 --> 00:22:55,417
♪ Longer with big red ♪
430
00:22:57,625 --> 00:23:02,166
♪ That big red freshness
lasts right through it ♪
431
00:23:02,250 --> 00:23:04,500
GIRLS:♪ your fresh breath goes on and on ♪
432
00:23:04,583 --> 00:23:06,166
BERKE & GIRLS:♪ while you chew it ♪
433
00:23:06,250 --> 00:23:09,000
♪ So say goodbye a little longer ♪
434
00:23:09,083 --> 00:23:11,375
♪ Make it last a little longer ♪
435
00:23:11,458 --> 00:23:15,542
♪ Give your breath
long-lasting freshness ♪
436
00:23:15,625 --> 00:23:17,583
♪ With big red ♪
437
00:23:17,667 --> 00:23:20,625
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING & CHEERING]
438
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:25,458
[PHONE RINGS]
439
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:28,583
Yeah.
BERKE: What's going on?
440
00:23:28,667 --> 00:23:29,500
[DOG PANTING]
Oh, nothing.
441
00:23:29,583 --> 00:23:31,208
I'm just sitting here
watching Chester
442
00:23:31,291 --> 00:23:32,083
screw the rubber tree.
443
00:23:32,166 --> 00:23:34,083
What is that?
Some kind of expression?
444
00:23:34,166 --> 00:23:37,667
No, no, no, no. My aunt's dog is
staying with us for a couple of weeks.
445
00:23:37,750 --> 00:23:41,500
And, apparently, he's got
some sort of hormonal imbalance.
446
00:23:43,041 --> 00:23:45,583
Wow, uh--
447
00:23:45,667 --> 00:23:47,750
Is Kelly there?
What?
448
00:23:47,834 --> 00:23:49,583
Kelly. Your sister.
Is she there?
449
00:23:49,667 --> 00:23:52,250
Why? 'Cause she did a
favor for me today.
450
00:23:52,333 --> 00:23:56,208
Just put her on, OK?
OK.
451
00:23:56,291 --> 00:23:57,333
Hold, please.
452
00:24:00,125 --> 00:24:04,041
Berke Landers. Since when do
my friends start calling you?
453
00:24:04,125 --> 00:24:06,417
Since today. Hey.
454
00:24:06,500 --> 00:24:07,792
BERKE: So how was I?
455
00:24:09,125 --> 00:24:13,041
You were really...
[SIGHS] OK.
456
00:24:13,125 --> 00:24:14,845
Sorry. I thought you knew
about the singing.
457
00:24:14,875 --> 00:24:18,458
Oh, minor detail.
You were cute.
458
00:24:18,542 --> 00:24:21,000
You wanna tell Allison that?
459
00:24:21,083 --> 00:24:23,583
Well, I hope
you get in the play.
460
00:24:23,667 --> 00:24:26,625
What?
Felix?
461
00:24:26,709 --> 00:24:29,458
I can hear you breathing!
462
00:24:29,542 --> 00:24:31,834
Hello?
[CLICK, DIAL TONE]
463
00:24:33,709 --> 00:24:36,083
JESSICA: All right,
everyone, coming through!
464
00:24:36,166 --> 00:24:38,667
Out of my way! Part!
465
00:24:38,750 --> 00:24:41,250
Please! Excuse me. Thank you.
466
00:24:48,667 --> 00:24:50,166
OK, ev--
All right!
467
00:24:50,250 --> 00:24:53,083
JESSICA: Ow! Demetrius! Yes!
468
00:24:53,166 --> 00:24:55,458
Congratulations, fair Hermia.
You're kidding.
469
00:24:55,542 --> 00:24:57,500
I knew you'd get it.
[SCREAMING]
470
00:24:57,583 --> 00:25:00,083
All right, people,
this play is gonna rock!
471
00:25:03,750 --> 00:25:07,667
Chorus? Oh, you've got to be
shitting me.
472
00:25:07,750 --> 00:25:10,041
Helena? Oh, my god!
473
00:25:10,125 --> 00:25:10,959
[SQUEALS]
474
00:25:11,041 --> 00:25:13,333
Good news?
Sorry, I just--
475
00:25:13,417 --> 00:25:16,458
I really had my heart set
on that part.
476
00:25:16,542 --> 00:25:17,792
That's-- that's good.
477
00:25:19,083 --> 00:25:23,041
Look, there's you.
Oh, yeah.
478
00:25:23,125 --> 00:25:27,000
Well, let's hope attendant #3
doesn't have any songs.
479
00:25:27,083 --> 00:25:30,000
Felicitations, miss woods.
Thank you so much.
480
00:25:30,083 --> 00:25:32,709
It's a lead role.
I know.
481
00:25:32,792 --> 00:25:34,667
Methinks thou best not botch it.
482
00:25:34,750 --> 00:25:35,917
[GIGGLES]
483
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:39,834
I remember what the wonderful
Bobby de Niro once said to me.
484
00:25:39,917 --> 00:25:42,667
Well, not to me,
but I read it in an article.
485
00:25:42,750 --> 00:25:45,390
And it was considering landing the
big roles, and what he said was,
486
00:25:45,458 --> 00:25:47,375
"just because god blesses you,
487
00:25:47,458 --> 00:25:51,458
does not mean there isn't
another sneeze coming."
488
00:25:54,291 --> 00:25:57,500
Anyway, see you
at Thursday's rehearsal.
489
00:25:57,583 --> 00:25:58,750
You, too.
490
00:26:00,458 --> 00:26:04,542
Uh, Dr. Forrest Oates, that's--
That's kinda gonna be a problem.
491
00:26:04,625 --> 00:26:08,125
See, next week we got all
the, uh, basketball playoffs.
492
00:26:11,125 --> 00:26:13,458
Now, let me tell you something,
bub.
493
00:26:14,834 --> 00:26:17,083
This is your theatrical debut!
494
00:26:17,166 --> 00:26:19,166
I want you to take it seriously!
495
00:26:19,250 --> 00:26:23,667
I want you to give it
half the dedication, just half
496
00:26:23,750 --> 00:26:25,041
that I gave my own.
497
00:26:26,834 --> 00:26:30,959
To be or not to be.
That is the question.
498
00:26:31,041 --> 00:26:33,792
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
499
00:26:36,792 --> 00:26:39,208
Oh, those were the salad days.
500
00:26:40,667 --> 00:26:42,166
Although these are good.
501
00:26:43,542 --> 00:26:44,750
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
502
00:26:44,834 --> 00:26:48,583
Thursday, none of this, jock head.
503
00:26:48,667 --> 00:26:50,834
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
504
00:26:53,667 --> 00:26:55,959
Let's go! Jessica, what--
Why are you, look-- what--
505
00:26:56,041 --> 00:26:57,369
Come on, come on,
come on, come on.
506
00:26:57,375 --> 00:26:59,583
Uh, excuse me, I'm a teacher.
Thanks.
507
00:26:59,667 --> 00:27:01,750
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
508
00:27:01,834 --> 00:27:03,000
Let's go, let's go!
509
00:27:04,625 --> 00:27:06,291
Where are you goin', Landers?
510
00:27:07,417 --> 00:27:08,792
Landers!
511
00:27:08,875 --> 00:27:11,959
So in summation,
Lysander loves Hermia,
512
00:27:12,041 --> 00:27:14,667
who loves Lysander,
but is betrothed to Demetrius,
513
00:27:14,750 --> 00:27:17,750
who in turn is the object
of Helena's affection.
514
00:27:17,834 --> 00:27:20,792
[LAUGHING]
Now do you see the fun of it?
515
00:27:20,875 --> 00:27:23,000
It's just all hell
done break loose.
516
00:27:23,083 --> 00:27:25,834
Mickey Rourke said a wonderful
thing about having fun.
517
00:27:25,917 --> 00:27:29,083
He was at some big soiree that
Liza Minnelli was throwing--
518
00:27:31,083 --> 00:27:34,625
Mr. Landers,
how nice of you to join us.
519
00:27:34,709 --> 00:27:38,792
And thanks for not showering.
What a super instinct.
520
00:27:38,875 --> 00:27:40,834
The secret to all this, you see,
521
00:27:40,917 --> 00:27:43,834
is that our four young lovers
522
00:27:43,917 --> 00:27:47,625
are not as in control of their
romantic destinies as they think
523
00:27:47,709 --> 00:27:51,166
because in the woods,
we have what?
524
00:27:51,250 --> 00:27:53,333
Fairies.
Fairies! Fairies!
525
00:27:53,417 --> 00:27:55,166
Spirits! Spirits.
526
00:27:55,250 --> 00:27:57,166
[GIGGLES]
527
00:27:57,250 --> 00:28:01,792
Specifically,
Titania, Oberon and puck.
528
00:28:01,875 --> 00:28:04,000
Little Steve.
Steven.
529
00:28:04,083 --> 00:28:07,917
Who delight in manipulating
their human counterparts...
530
00:28:08,959 --> 00:28:10,333
For sport.
531
00:28:10,417 --> 00:28:14,458
It really is fun to see a
bunch of fairies being played--
532
00:28:15,583 --> 00:28:17,500
[ALL LAUGHING]
533
00:28:17,583 --> 00:28:19,709
Holy shit, little Steve,
you've got wings!
534
00:28:19,792 --> 00:28:22,208
Yeah, well, you've got fairy
dust coming out of your ass.
535
00:28:22,291 --> 00:28:23,786
Come on, guys.
Let's stir up some trouble.
536
00:28:23,792 --> 00:28:28,792
Oh, fair Hermia, thou art
so incredibly hot and stuff.
537
00:28:28,875 --> 00:28:33,083
Hey, red, follow us. You can't see us,
but you'll do what we say.
538
00:28:33,166 --> 00:28:34,709
Suckers.
539
00:28:34,792 --> 00:28:36,417
[LAUGHING]
540
00:28:36,500 --> 00:28:38,834
Yo, dude, somebody's scammin'
on your chick.
541
00:28:38,917 --> 00:28:39,750
Time to kick some ass.
542
00:28:39,834 --> 00:28:40,875
[LAUGHING]
543
00:28:40,959 --> 00:28:41,875
[HORSE WHINNIES]
544
00:28:41,959 --> 00:28:44,875
Demetrius, what say you?
545
00:28:44,959 --> 00:28:46,542
Relent, sweet Hermia.
546
00:28:46,625 --> 00:28:47,875
And you, Lysander,
547
00:28:47,959 --> 00:28:50,875
yield thy crazed title
to my certain right.
548
00:28:50,959 --> 00:28:53,875
En garde. What? There's no
sword fighting in this play.
549
00:28:53,959 --> 00:28:55,750
Well, now there is.
550
00:28:58,583 --> 00:29:01,458
[BOTH GRUNTING]
551
00:29:12,458 --> 00:29:14,083
[GROANING]
552
00:29:14,166 --> 00:29:16,583
Off you go.
Ohh!
553
00:29:17,542 --> 00:29:19,709
[HORSE WHINNIES]
554
00:29:23,166 --> 00:29:25,375
[HERMIA LAUGHS][DEMETRIUS GROANS]
555
00:29:25,458 --> 00:29:27,834
[ALL LAUGHING]
556
00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:30,917
When it rains, it pours.
557
00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:33,250
Mr. Landers!
[CHUCKLES]
558
00:29:33,333 --> 00:29:35,709
[STUDENTS LAUGHING]
Are we having R.E.M.?
559
00:29:42,834 --> 00:29:46,291
Musical Shakespeare?
Calling my sister?
560
00:29:46,375 --> 00:29:49,792
She's helping me out.
My sister?
561
00:29:49,875 --> 00:29:50,994
Yeah.
She knows what she's doing.
562
00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:53,875
Uh, whatever. Berke.
This isn't about her, all right?
563
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:56,834
This is about you
running after Allison.
564
00:29:56,917 --> 00:29:59,041
And I'm sorry,
but it's bullshit.
565
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:01,667
See you out there.
566
00:30:03,208 --> 00:30:05,792
That's it. We gotta find our boy
somebody, quick.
567
00:30:05,875 --> 00:30:08,583
You don't just arbitrarily
replace someone's soul mate.
568
00:30:08,667 --> 00:30:10,959
I mean, look at that old lady
from Titanic.
569
00:30:11,041 --> 00:30:12,291
She didn't never get over that.
570
00:30:12,375 --> 00:30:15,417
I'm not just talking
about anybody.
571
00:30:15,500 --> 00:30:17,750
Look, you still take shop
with Dora Lynn Tissdale, right?
572
00:30:17,834 --> 00:30:22,750
Yeah. Um, last week, she nearly took
out half the class with a nail gun.
573
00:30:22,834 --> 00:30:24,792
So she's a bit clumsy.
574
00:30:24,875 --> 00:30:26,417
Thanks to good old Dora Lynn,
575
00:30:26,500 --> 00:30:29,625
Dickie Bergwell
has to take a crap standing up.
576
00:30:29,709 --> 00:30:32,125
Dennis, we're not asking her
577
00:30:32,208 --> 00:30:34,959
to build an apartment complex,
are we?
578
00:30:35,041 --> 00:30:36,619
And what makes you think
she's gonna do it?
579
00:30:36,625 --> 00:30:38,875
Look, that's your problem,
all right?
580
00:30:38,959 --> 00:30:40,667
I'll take care of Berke.
581
00:30:40,750 --> 00:30:45,375
Dennis heard it firsthand.
The girl's completely into you.
582
00:30:45,458 --> 00:30:48,458
No, that's-- that's bullshit.
Why would I make this up?
583
00:30:48,542 --> 00:30:52,000
I mean, I'm presenting you here
with a golden opportunity,
584
00:30:52,083 --> 00:30:55,041
the Stanley cup of blind dates,
585
00:30:55,125 --> 00:30:56,709
New Zealand's gift
to Rosner high.
586
00:30:56,792 --> 00:30:59,125
I mean, those eyes,
that mouth, the rack.
587
00:30:59,208 --> 00:31:01,041
BERKE: Aren't you forgetting something?
588
00:31:01,125 --> 00:31:04,709
Ohh!
FELIX: OK, yeah, she's a little accident-prone.
589
00:31:04,792 --> 00:31:07,625
BERKE: The girl's a walking disaster zone.
590
00:31:07,709 --> 00:31:09,959
Wherever she goes,
bad shit happens.
591
00:31:10,041 --> 00:31:11,083
GIRL: Oh. Oh, my god!
592
00:31:11,166 --> 00:31:14,542
BERKE: I mean, weird bad shit happens.
593
00:31:17,125 --> 00:31:18,583
[SCREAMING]
594
00:31:18,667 --> 00:31:22,041
She missed six years
at the high school.
595
00:31:22,125 --> 00:31:25,041
She was in a coma for Christ's sakes.
[GROANS]
596
00:31:25,125 --> 00:31:27,250
Berke, she's beautiful.
Yeah.
597
00:31:27,333 --> 00:31:29,000
She's built.
Yeah.
598
00:31:29,083 --> 00:31:31,327
And apparently, she's totally
willing to lower her standards,
599
00:31:31,333 --> 00:31:34,000
so I really don't see
anything wrong with this.
600
00:31:37,458 --> 00:31:40,250
It's your turn to get the ball.
601
00:31:40,333 --> 00:31:42,917
I'm not getting the ball.
You get the ball.
602
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:44,959
[WHINES]
603
00:31:47,792 --> 00:31:50,959
Hey, uh, Dora Lynn? Dora.
604
00:31:53,458 --> 00:31:54,953
Kinda got this favor to a-- ask you.
[YELLING]
605
00:31:54,959 --> 00:31:57,709
Favor? What kind of favor?
[YELLING CONTINUES]
606
00:31:57,792 --> 00:32:00,166
GIRL: Just stop, drop, and roll!
607
00:32:02,166 --> 00:32:04,959
Berke, don't be nervous.
608
00:32:05,041 --> 00:32:08,583
I'm here because I want to be.
Me, too.
609
00:32:08,667 --> 00:32:10,917
We never really had a chance
to talk.
610
00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:14,917
Well, I think that had a lot to do with
the fact that I was busy with Allison
611
00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:18,875
and you kinda had your
hands full with the whole, uh--
612
00:32:18,959 --> 00:32:20,750
Coma thing?
Yeah.
613
00:32:20,834 --> 00:32:22,792
Yeah.
Yeah.
614
00:32:22,875 --> 00:32:25,041
You know, Berke,
615
00:32:25,125 --> 00:32:27,291
it's all about new beginnings.
616
00:32:27,375 --> 00:32:30,917
That stuff about me being
bad luck? Ancient history.
617
00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:35,542
I'm moving on with my life,
and you're moving on with yours.
618
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:39,083
[CHUCKLES]
Sorry.
619
00:32:39,166 --> 00:32:42,000
Oh, would you excuse me
for one minute?
620
00:32:42,875 --> 00:32:44,500
I kinda have to--
621
00:32:44,583 --> 00:32:46,417
Pee?
Yeah.
622
00:32:46,500 --> 00:32:48,667
OK.
OK.
623
00:32:48,750 --> 00:32:51,917
[HAVA NAGILA: JAPANESE INSTRUMENTATION]
624
00:32:54,208 --> 00:32:56,917
Waitress, can I have some more tea?
625
00:32:57,000 --> 00:32:58,083
Oh, I love--
Ah!
626
00:32:59,166 --> 00:33:00,667
[GROANING]
627
00:33:00,750 --> 00:33:03,125
Ohh!
Tits! Wow!
628
00:33:03,208 --> 00:33:05,917
[GROANING]
629
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:07,166
[SPITS]
630
00:33:09,208 --> 00:33:12,166
[PATRONS GASPING]
631
00:33:12,250 --> 00:33:14,125
[DISSONANT CHORD]
632
00:33:14,208 --> 00:33:16,959
Ohh! Ohh!
633
00:33:17,041 --> 00:33:18,750
[FIRE ALARM BELL RINGING]
634
00:33:20,250 --> 00:33:22,709
[SHOUTING IN JAPANESE]
635
00:33:23,959 --> 00:33:25,583
Check, please!
636
00:33:27,625 --> 00:33:31,166
♪ I'm dreaming of a boy
a very special guy ♪
637
00:33:31,250 --> 00:33:35,375
♪ I wish that I could pluck
a fairy from the sky ♪
638
00:33:35,458 --> 00:33:39,333
♪ To cast a spell
upon my pride and joy ♪
639
00:33:39,417 --> 00:33:41,792
♪ I'm dreaming
of a very special boy ♪
640
00:33:41,875 --> 00:33:43,208
Time. Time.
641
00:33:43,291 --> 00:33:46,166
[CHUCKLING]
It's just not very good.
642
00:33:46,250 --> 00:33:49,000
I could lie to you,
but I would do you a disservice
643
00:33:49,083 --> 00:33:51,834
because it's-- it's just bad.
You've got to commit.
644
00:33:51,917 --> 00:33:56,667
[BELTING]♪ I'm dreaming of
a boy a very special guy ♪
645
00:33:56,750 --> 00:34:00,333
And then, "I wish that I could pluck,
pluck! I wanna see you pluck it!
646
00:34:00,417 --> 00:34:02,834
You know what I mean?
We'll talk about it later.
647
00:34:02,917 --> 00:34:04,875
OK, enter Theseus.
648
00:34:04,959 --> 00:34:09,250
Now, attendants,
a rogue suitor...
649
00:34:09,333 --> 00:34:12,208
Is spooning
with the master's daughter.
650
00:34:12,291 --> 00:34:14,208
Well,
this is totally scandalous.
651
00:34:14,291 --> 00:34:17,208
So you must look shocked,
you must look amazed.
652
00:34:17,291 --> 00:34:18,625
Let's see you look shocked.
653
00:34:20,333 --> 00:34:23,041
I said shocked, Mr. Landers,
not constipated.
654
00:34:23,125 --> 00:34:24,834
[ALL LAUGHING]
655
00:34:24,917 --> 00:34:27,500
Oh, my dear god. Go, Del.
656
00:34:29,291 --> 00:34:32,375
Go bid the huntsmen.
Wake them with their horns.
657
00:34:32,458 --> 00:34:35,083
Hold it. Yes, um--
658
00:34:35,166 --> 00:34:36,166
Um, well, can I--
659
00:34:36,250 --> 00:34:38,208
You'd tell me
if you'd had a stroke.
660
00:34:38,291 --> 00:34:40,083
[PIANO]
661
00:34:40,166 --> 00:34:44,250
WOMAN: And eight.
One, two, three, four--
662
00:34:44,333 --> 00:34:47,250
What?
What?
663
00:34:47,333 --> 00:34:49,417
Are you lost?
664
00:34:49,500 --> 00:34:53,458
Um, no. Actually, I-- I signed
up for stage crew, and I--
665
00:34:53,542 --> 00:34:56,875
Stage crew? Then shouldn't you
be over there?
666
00:34:58,333 --> 00:35:00,542
[MOANING]
Oh.
667
00:35:02,709 --> 00:35:03,875
Oh, right.
668
00:35:06,166 --> 00:35:09,583
My lord, I shall reply amazedly.
669
00:35:09,667 --> 00:35:12,583
Half sleep, half waken,
I came with Hermia Hither.
670
00:35:12,667 --> 00:35:16,083
Our intent was to be gone
from Athens,
671
00:35:16,166 --> 00:35:20,917
where we might, without
the peril of Athenian law,
672
00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:22,417
be wed.
673
00:35:22,500 --> 00:35:26,250
Ah-ah-ah.
Save it for show night, Wong.
674
00:35:26,333 --> 00:35:27,583
Sorry, Striker.
675
00:35:27,667 --> 00:35:30,583
[♪♪♪]
676
00:35:39,041 --> 00:35:42,667
♪ What do you get
when you fall in love? ♪
677
00:35:42,750 --> 00:35:46,458
♪ A girl with a pin
to burst your bubble ♪
678
00:35:46,542 --> 00:35:50,291
♪ That's what you get
for all your trouble ♪
679
00:35:50,375 --> 00:35:52,125
♪ I'll ♪
680
00:35:52,208 --> 00:35:56,834
♪ Never fall in love again ♪
681
00:35:58,208 --> 00:36:00,458
♪ I'll never fall in love ♪
682
00:36:00,542 --> 00:36:04,125
♪ What do you get
when you kiss a girl? ♪
683
00:36:04,208 --> 00:36:06,291
[CONTINUES]
You know what?
684
00:36:06,375 --> 00:36:08,333
I'd ask you what the hell
you're even doing here,
685
00:36:08,417 --> 00:36:11,792
but if some stranger had dazzled his
way into my ex-girlfriend's fancies,
686
00:36:11,875 --> 00:36:14,542
I'd probably be
doing the same thing,
687
00:36:14,625 --> 00:36:16,875
only I'd have a bigger part.
688
00:36:17,959 --> 00:36:19,166
You dropped your sword.
689
00:36:19,250 --> 00:36:22,875
♪ I'll never fall in love again ♪
690
00:36:24,417 --> 00:36:27,375
[WHISTLE BLOWS]♪ don't tell me what it's all ♪
691
00:36:27,458 --> 00:36:29,208
♪ About ♪
692
00:36:29,291 --> 00:36:33,208
♪ 'Cause I've been there
and I'm glad I'm out ♪
693
00:36:33,291 --> 00:36:36,709
♪ Out of those chains those chains that bind you ♪
I am so sorry. Big-- big game.
694
00:36:36,792 --> 00:36:40,792
♪ And that is what
I'm here to remind you ♪
695
00:36:40,875 --> 00:36:42,166
[♪♪♪]
696
00:36:42,250 --> 00:36:45,667
Substitution. Sorry, sir.
There was a big accident.
697
00:36:45,750 --> 00:36:48,041
You are so lucky
I am not Bobby knight.
698
00:36:48,125 --> 00:36:50,577
And we got playoffs next week and
you've got an obligation to the team.
699
00:36:50,583 --> 00:36:52,834
Now get out there!
Yes, sir!
700
00:36:52,917 --> 00:36:56,208
[ON SPEAKER]MAN: Substitution
for Rosner, Berke Landers.
701
00:36:56,291 --> 00:36:58,917
[ALL LAUGHING]
702
00:37:00,333 --> 00:37:03,417
Hey, Landers, nice ass!
703
00:37:06,125 --> 00:37:07,250
I'm gonna go now.
704
00:37:07,333 --> 00:37:10,000
♪ Never fall in love again ♪
705
00:37:10,083 --> 00:37:12,500
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
706
00:37:12,583 --> 00:37:15,166
BERKE: Yeah, I'll see you guys later.
Have a good night.
707
00:37:15,250 --> 00:37:18,125
[♪♪♪]
708
00:37:28,500 --> 00:37:30,542
Don't stop because of me.
709
00:37:30,625 --> 00:37:34,667
Sorry. I-- I just never get
to play a real piano at home.
710
00:37:37,375 --> 00:37:40,625
So you've been a busy guy
lately.
711
00:37:40,709 --> 00:37:43,875
Yeah, dating a pyromaniac,
showing my ass in public.
712
00:37:43,959 --> 00:37:46,709
Well, it's all
in the name of love, right?
713
00:37:48,208 --> 00:37:49,375
Right.
714
00:37:53,333 --> 00:37:55,291
Play me something.
715
00:37:56,709 --> 00:37:59,375
No.
Come on. It sounded good.
716
00:37:59,458 --> 00:38:00,792
I'm embarrassed.
717
00:38:02,959 --> 00:38:06,250
I love writing songs,
but it-- [SIGHS]
718
00:38:06,333 --> 00:38:07,417
What's the problem?
719
00:38:07,500 --> 00:38:10,250
Well, you were at the audition,
Berke.
720
00:38:10,333 --> 00:38:12,208
Forrest Oates hated my song.
721
00:38:12,875 --> 00:38:14,625
Well,
722
00:38:14,709 --> 00:38:18,083
I admired you for putting
yourself out there like that,
723
00:38:18,166 --> 00:38:21,458
and, uh, you know,
for whatever it's worth,
724
00:38:21,542 --> 00:38:24,583
I-- I-- I thought it was
a really nice song.
725
00:38:27,166 --> 00:38:28,333
Thanks.
726
00:38:32,375 --> 00:38:34,542
This is a song I wrote.
727
00:38:35,709 --> 00:38:37,083
[PICKING OUT NOTES]♪ b, C ♪
728
00:38:37,166 --> 00:38:39,959
♪ D, E, F, G ♪
oh, god! [GIGGLES]
729
00:38:41,875 --> 00:38:43,792
Bring it on.
730
00:38:43,875 --> 00:38:48,333
TOGETHER:♪ H, I, J, K, I, M, N, O, P ♪
731
00:38:51,583 --> 00:38:54,542
[CONTINUES FULL CHORDS]
732
00:38:56,917 --> 00:38:58,041
Showoff.
733
00:39:22,125 --> 00:39:23,959
[PHONE RINGS]
734
00:39:24,750 --> 00:39:26,500
Berke.
Yeah. Hey, Felix.
735
00:39:26,583 --> 00:39:29,458
How do you feel
about half-naked women?
736
00:39:29,542 --> 00:39:32,166
[TECHNO DANCE] Would you mind
telling me where we're going?
737
00:39:32,250 --> 00:39:35,041
Suffice to say, Dennis and I,
we discussed it
738
00:39:35,125 --> 00:39:37,000
and decided that
this is exactly what you need.
739
00:39:37,083 --> 00:39:41,333
[ON LOUDSPEAKER]WOMAN: It looks like we
have a very special guest with us tonight,
740
00:39:41,417 --> 00:39:46,625
a young man recently jilted
by his longtime lady love.
741
00:39:48,458 --> 00:39:50,792
Hey, see you later, Casanova.
742
00:39:53,625 --> 00:39:55,959
Ohh!
[LAUGHS]
743
00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:03,875
Yeah.
What's that?
744
00:40:03,959 --> 00:40:06,375
[ON LOUDSPEAKER]WOMAN: It's Monday madness, people.
745
00:40:06,458 --> 00:40:08,834
You know what that means.
746
00:40:11,458 --> 00:40:13,792
[DRUMS]
747
00:40:15,583 --> 00:40:17,250
[LAUGHS]
748
00:40:18,458 --> 00:40:22,041
Behold my majestic,
corseted form!
749
00:40:22,125 --> 00:40:26,625
Police! I want to see some ids,
and I want to see them quick!
750
00:40:26,709 --> 00:40:28,041
Oh, my god!
Sorry!
751
00:40:28,125 --> 00:40:30,834
[PATRONS, STRIPPERS SCREAM, SHOUT]
752
00:40:39,834 --> 00:40:43,333
Hey, can somebody
get me down? Please?
753
00:40:44,667 --> 00:40:47,208
Jesus, mother of god!
754
00:40:48,875 --> 00:40:50,917
I must say,
you surprised us, Berke.
755
00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:53,119
It's not every day you get a
wake-up call from the cops
756
00:40:53,125 --> 00:40:55,959
saying your son's been pinched
in a sex club raid.
757
00:40:56,041 --> 00:40:59,125
That said, your father and I
have discussed it--
758
00:40:59,208 --> 00:41:03,792
And we'd just like to say-- we
are so incredibly proud of you.
759
00:41:03,875 --> 00:41:04,542
What?
760
00:41:04,625 --> 00:41:06,834
For getting on with your life.
761
00:41:06,917 --> 00:41:10,500
Most kids your age are way
ill-equipped to deal with heartache.
762
00:41:10,583 --> 00:41:13,458
But not you, mister.
You got right back on that horse.
763
00:41:13,542 --> 00:41:15,834
Or should I say, suspension harness?
Stop it.
764
00:41:15,917 --> 00:41:19,667
Mom, dad, I just got arrested. Shouldn't
you be, like, pissed or something?
765
00:41:19,750 --> 00:41:23,458
Why? Sexual curiosity
is perfectly natural.
766
00:41:23,542 --> 00:41:25,667
We just had no idea you
were so kinky. Yeah.
767
00:41:25,750 --> 00:41:27,625
Hey, who's up for frozen yogurt?
768
00:41:27,709 --> 00:41:29,625
Ooh, sounds good to me.
769
00:41:29,709 --> 00:41:34,500
Well, then again, Berke may want
to go home and Polish the rocket.
770
00:41:34,583 --> 00:41:37,625
Yogurt's good.
[TECHNO MUSIC]
771
00:41:38,917 --> 00:41:40,041
OK.
772
00:41:42,208 --> 00:41:43,375
OK, Dennis.
773
00:41:43,959 --> 00:41:46,125
What?
Bring her up.
774
00:41:49,375 --> 00:41:51,291
[GRUNTING, GIGGLING]
775
00:41:52,750 --> 00:41:54,667
Ladies and gentlemen,
776
00:41:54,750 --> 00:41:57,875
introducing
prisoner number 6943.
777
00:41:57,959 --> 00:42:00,625
Bravo, Landers, bravo.
778
00:42:00,709 --> 00:42:03,458
You know, you do take
a stunning picture.
779
00:42:03,542 --> 00:42:06,333
[CHUCKLES] Striker, I'd be
careful about that accent
780
00:42:06,417 --> 00:42:09,375
because you're beginning to
sound a lot like Mary Poppins.
781
00:42:09,458 --> 00:42:12,291
Look, I don't know what you're
blathering about, but if I were you--
782
00:42:12,375 --> 00:42:13,959
Hold it, hold it, hold it.
783
00:42:15,583 --> 00:42:17,458
What?
Are you wearing makeup?
784
00:42:20,542 --> 00:42:22,166
That's it.
785
00:42:22,250 --> 00:42:23,667
WOMAN: Oh.
786
00:42:23,750 --> 00:42:25,750
Ooh.
[STRIKER GRUNTS]
787
00:42:25,834 --> 00:42:29,917
Careful, Landers. I do believe
you are trifling with danger.
788
00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:32,750
Who keeps nunchucks
in their pants?
789
00:42:34,834 --> 00:42:35,667
Ohh!
[GROANS]
790
00:42:35,750 --> 00:42:37,375
[PETER GROANS]
791
00:42:37,458 --> 00:42:39,458
Peter Wong is down!
792
00:42:41,917 --> 00:42:43,709
Look on the bright side, Wong.
793
00:42:43,792 --> 00:42:45,667
You're a singer, not a dancer.
794
00:42:45,750 --> 00:42:49,875
I'll kill you, you ant-kissing,
pretentious, swing town twit!
795
00:42:49,959 --> 00:42:54,166
This is my theater!
My show!
796
00:42:54,250 --> 00:42:57,166
Forrest Oates
is my special buddy!
797
00:42:57,250 --> 00:42:59,041
That was intense.
[PETER WAILING]
798
00:42:59,125 --> 00:43:03,083
I know. I've never seen bone poke
through skin like that before.
799
00:43:03,166 --> 00:43:07,750
All right then, everything's going to be fine,
according to the paramedics [WAILING CONTINUES]
800
00:43:07,834 --> 00:43:10,792
In fact, Peter will be
back on his feet in no time.
801
00:43:10,875 --> 00:43:14,583
[PETER SHRIEKS]
802
00:43:14,667 --> 00:43:17,542
Still, in the words
of the wonderful Kevin spacey,
803
00:43:17,625 --> 00:43:19,291
the show must go on.
804
00:43:19,375 --> 00:43:21,792
So since curtain is,
indeed, in three days,
805
00:43:21,875 --> 00:43:26,375
I'm now accepting offers from
volunteers for the role of Lysander.
806
00:43:26,458 --> 00:43:27,166
Ooh! Ooh!
807
00:43:27,250 --> 00:43:28,792
Put your hand down,
little Steve!
808
00:43:28,875 --> 00:43:30,417
Ooh.
809
00:43:30,500 --> 00:43:32,208
No, not Striker,
you already have a role.
810
00:43:32,291 --> 00:43:36,792
Yes, I know, but I was wanting
to nominate someone.
811
00:43:36,875 --> 00:43:41,375
[CHUCKLING] Oh, well, that's
very flattering, uh, indeed,
812
00:43:41,458 --> 00:43:46,125
but I don't think a man of 34 can
possibly keep up with you youngsters.
813
00:43:46,208 --> 00:43:48,792
Actually, I was referring to...
814
00:43:48,875 --> 00:43:50,834
Berke Landers.
815
00:43:50,917 --> 00:43:52,333
[STUDENTS MURMURING]
816
00:43:52,417 --> 00:43:53,792
Oh! Well, Th--
817
00:43:53,875 --> 00:43:56,792
That's an intriguing thought.
818
00:43:56,875 --> 00:43:57,959
Any other ideas?
819
00:43:58,041 --> 00:43:59,333
Ooh!
One that I might use?
820
00:43:59,417 --> 00:44:00,959
Put your hand down,
little Steve!
821
00:44:01,041 --> 00:44:03,625
Well, he's green, to be sure,
but he does demonstrate
822
00:44:03,709 --> 00:44:06,083
a certain... enthusiasm.
823
00:44:07,667 --> 00:44:10,125
I'm in.
[STUDENTS GASP]
824
00:44:10,208 --> 00:44:12,417
You're in?
Yeah, I'm in.
825
00:44:14,041 --> 00:44:16,625
Jessica, call domino's.
We'll be here a while.
826
00:44:16,709 --> 00:44:19,625
And keep icing your front bum!
827
00:44:19,709 --> 00:44:23,083
Swelling continues when you
don't ice, and I need you.
828
00:44:24,208 --> 00:44:26,667
Not really.
[GUITAR MUSIC]
829
00:44:26,750 --> 00:44:28,166
So how many swords do we have?
830
00:44:28,250 --> 00:44:31,500
Seven.
Eight.
831
00:44:31,583 --> 00:44:35,291
I swear, if Allison doesn't
appreciate this-- then what?
832
00:44:37,375 --> 00:44:39,875
Anyway, I've heard you
do the dialogue. You're fine.
833
00:44:39,959 --> 00:44:43,542
Yeah, but what about the singing?
Well, the music sucks.
834
00:44:43,625 --> 00:44:44,625
Especially my song.
835
00:44:44,667 --> 00:44:47,166
Well, why don't you,
why don't you rewrite it?
836
00:44:47,250 --> 00:44:49,834
Oh, Forrest Oates
would never go for it.
837
00:44:49,917 --> 00:44:54,000
Kelly, you're the best one in the play.
You know more about this stuff than he does.
838
00:44:54,083 --> 00:44:57,458
Yeah, but he doesn't see it
that way.
839
00:44:57,542 --> 00:44:59,834
Forrest Oates
just cast me as a lead.
840
00:44:59,917 --> 00:45:02,083
He's an idiot, Allison.
841
00:45:04,792 --> 00:45:06,834
My name...
842
00:45:06,917 --> 00:45:08,834
Is Kelly.
843
00:45:08,917 --> 00:45:10,875
What'd I say?
Allison.
844
00:45:10,959 --> 00:45:12,709
No, I didn't.
Yeah, you did.
845
00:45:12,792 --> 00:45:14,917
I'm sorry.
Prepare to die.
846
00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:18,041
Maybe y-- you shouldn't
be playing with that.
847
00:45:18,125 --> 00:45:20,166
Put-- com--
Put it down.
848
00:45:20,917 --> 00:45:23,291
Put it-- K-- Kelly.
849
00:45:26,917 --> 00:45:28,041
Aaaah!
850
00:45:28,125 --> 00:45:29,417
We have an 18-year-old
white male
851
00:45:29,500 --> 00:45:31,709
with an anterior puncture wound
to his left arm.
852
00:45:31,792 --> 00:45:35,417
My god, I'm so sorry, Berke.
I thought it was a prop. I wanna see it.
853
00:45:35,500 --> 00:45:38,166
No, don't look at it.
It's pretty bad, isn't it?
854
00:45:38,250 --> 00:45:41,875
No, it's-- it's fine.
Here, listen to me, Berke.
855
00:45:41,959 --> 00:45:44,285
The doctor's gonna fix your arm
and I'm gonna help you rehearse
856
00:45:44,291 --> 00:45:46,875
and you're gonna be
the best Lysander ever, OK?
857
00:45:46,959 --> 00:45:49,875
And your arm, it's really
not that-- oh, my god! Ohh!
858
00:45:49,959 --> 00:45:52,834
[♪♪♪]
859
00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:57,250
♪ Bah-bah bah-de-dah dah-bah-bah ♪
860
00:45:57,333 --> 00:45:59,917
♪ Bah-bah bah-de-dah dah-bah-bah ♪
861
00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:03,500
♪ Bah-bah bah-de-dah
dah-bah-bah dah-de-dah ♪
862
00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:07,417
♪ Bah-bah bah-de-dah dah-bah-bah ♪
863
00:46:07,500 --> 00:46:09,750
♪ Bah-bah bah-de-dah dah-bah-bah ♪
864
00:46:09,834 --> 00:46:12,291
♪ Bah-bah bah-de-dah
dah-bah-bah dah-de-dah ♪
865
00:46:12,375 --> 00:46:17,291
FELIX: I'm just saying that
Thursday night you've kept Kelly's ass out till 12:15.
866
00:46:17,375 --> 00:46:20,083
Felix, it's Kelly. All right?
867
00:46:20,166 --> 00:46:22,583
She's helping me out with the part.
OK, OK, OK.
868
00:46:22,667 --> 00:46:23,959
Just keep an eye on her, man.
869
00:46:24,041 --> 00:46:25,536
You know, 'cause some
of those theater guys
870
00:46:25,542 --> 00:46:28,041
they have this reputation
of being kinda--
871
00:46:28,125 --> 00:46:30,875
Gay? See, that's what
they want you to think.
872
00:46:30,959 --> 00:46:31,994
BERKE: I'll keep an eye on her.
873
00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:35,792
[♪♪♪]
874
00:46:35,875 --> 00:46:40,125
♪ Bah-bah bah-de-dah
dah-bah-bah dah-de-dah ♪
875
00:46:40,208 --> 00:46:43,625
♪ Forty-eight hours
I'm still havin' it bad ♪
876
00:46:43,709 --> 00:46:45,959
♪ Thirty-two to go
I was virtually dead ♪
877
00:46:46,041 --> 00:46:47,959
♪ Makin' a mess
on someone's desk ♪
878
00:46:48,041 --> 00:46:51,291
♪ I did it again
bah-dah-dah-dah dah-dah ♪
879
00:46:51,375 --> 00:46:54,125
♪ Started lookin' for someone
the kind is you ♪
880
00:46:54,208 --> 00:46:56,244
♪ All the other places were
there are nothin' to do ♪
881
00:46:56,250 --> 00:46:58,959
♪ So waste the morning and
hang in bed nobody cares ♪
882
00:46:59,041 --> 00:47:02,959
So when do your parents leave for
this affiliate stuff? Uh, today.
883
00:47:03,041 --> 00:47:05,291
Don't even think about it.
What?
884
00:47:05,375 --> 00:47:08,500
Felix, I can hear your brain
planning a party. No.
885
00:47:08,583 --> 00:47:12,166
I'll-- I'll see you guys la--
I gotta get something.
886
00:47:12,250 --> 00:47:14,583
Hey, why is he going into the music store?
I don't know.
887
00:47:14,667 --> 00:47:17,208
He's probably buying tap shoes
or some shit like that,
888
00:47:17,291 --> 00:47:20,333
which only further demonstrates
my point, my friend.
889
00:47:20,417 --> 00:47:24,667
That man is in dire need of a party.
[LOUD SLURPING]
890
00:47:24,750 --> 00:47:26,375
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
Yes?
891
00:47:26,458 --> 00:47:29,875
Hi. I know you're busy, but I just
wanna talk to you for one second.
892
00:47:29,959 --> 00:47:33,125
Oh, miss woods,
please come in-- ohh.
893
00:47:33,208 --> 00:47:37,000
Fun hair clip.
Hmm.
894
00:47:37,083 --> 00:47:39,041
I wanted to talk to you
about my song.
895
00:47:39,125 --> 00:47:40,667
Oh, "pocketful of dreams."
896
00:47:40,750 --> 00:47:44,542
I originally wrote that tune
for miss Diana Ross.
897
00:47:46,291 --> 00:47:47,536
[DISCO]
Miss Ross! Miss Ross!
898
00:47:47,542 --> 00:47:49,000
I've written a very groovy song!
899
00:47:49,083 --> 00:47:50,625
I think you'd Li-- oh!
900
00:47:50,709 --> 00:47:54,000
That's my hand, buddy!
Aah! Miss Ross!
901
00:47:54,083 --> 00:47:58,083
Miss Ross! Diana!
902
00:47:58,166 --> 00:48:01,041
Unfortunately,
the lawyers got involved,
903
00:48:01,125 --> 00:48:04,250
and then bullshit, bullshit,
bullshit, bullshit.
904
00:48:04,333 --> 00:48:09,000
And then, uh, the next thing
you know-- phtt! No deal.
905
00:48:09,083 --> 00:48:13,041
It's a great song. I love singing it.
Oh, it was fun to write.
906
00:48:13,125 --> 00:48:17,041
It's just that I was wondering
if you-- if you wouldn't mind...
907
00:48:17,125 --> 00:48:19,166
If I made a few suggestions.
908
00:48:19,250 --> 00:48:21,792
You've made
s-- some suggestions?
909
00:48:22,959 --> 00:48:24,083
"O weary night,
910
00:48:24,166 --> 00:48:26,250
abate thy hours."
911
00:48:26,333 --> 00:48:31,875
Well, I-- I just figured, you know,
like you said, the song really isn't working.
912
00:48:31,959 --> 00:48:33,583
[CHUCKLING]
913
00:48:33,667 --> 00:48:36,750
I'd like you to do me a favor,
if you will, miss woods.
914
00:48:36,834 --> 00:48:40,291
I'd like you to read this poster and
tell me what it says at the bottom.
915
00:48:40,375 --> 00:48:43,125
"No food or drink allowed
in the auditorium at any time."
916
00:48:43,208 --> 00:48:46,083
It says, "12 original songs
917
00:48:46,166 --> 00:48:48,250
by Dr. Desmond Forrest Oates."
918
00:48:48,333 --> 00:48:52,750
Oh. [CHUCKLES] That part.
Yes, that part.
919
00:48:52,834 --> 00:48:54,154
I'll tell you
what it doesn't say.
920
00:48:54,166 --> 00:48:55,369
It doesn't say,
"additional lyrics
921
00:48:55,375 --> 00:48:58,083
by little miss sassy-pants."
922
00:48:58,166 --> 00:48:59,994
You know, some of those lyrics
are Shakespeare's.
923
00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:04,542
Ah. And what was the last tune
you hummed from MacBeth?
924
00:49:04,625 --> 00:49:07,458
Bill Shakespeare
is a wonderful poet,
925
00:49:07,542 --> 00:49:10,500
but Burt Bacharach, he ain't.
926
00:49:11,166 --> 00:49:12,750
[WHISPERS]
I'll go.
927
00:49:12,834 --> 00:49:14,709
Sorry I'm late.
That's-- that's OK.
928
00:49:14,792 --> 00:49:16,959
I was just getting lucky.
Oh, Chester!
929
00:49:17,041 --> 00:49:20,083
We need-- we need-- we need--
We need to find this dog a date.
930
00:49:20,166 --> 00:49:24,500
[GROWLS] So, uh, how was--
How was Forrest Oates?
931
00:49:24,583 --> 00:49:27,125
A bigger asshole than I thought.
932
00:49:27,208 --> 00:49:31,792
Maybe this will make you feel a
little better. Oh, a gift? Berke.
933
00:49:31,875 --> 00:49:35,125
First we rehearse, OK?
934
00:49:35,208 --> 00:49:36,750
OK.
All right.
935
00:49:40,583 --> 00:49:46,125
BOTH:♪ so that's the
girl that I've got to have ♪
936
00:49:46,208 --> 00:49:48,917
♪ I'll tell you why-- ♪
937
00:49:49,000 --> 00:49:50,208
[KEYBOARD OFF]
938
00:49:51,041 --> 00:49:53,500
It's 21 hours until the play,
939
00:49:53,583 --> 00:49:55,750
and I'm actually
starting to suck more.
940
00:49:55,834 --> 00:49:59,333
Look, let's just put the songs
aside for a second.
941
00:49:59,417 --> 00:50:01,166
We'll work on some dialogue.
942
00:50:01,250 --> 00:50:05,500
We're at the point where Theseus
has just woken everybody up.
943
00:50:05,583 --> 00:50:06,875
All right.
944
00:50:12,625 --> 00:50:13,625
Hi.
Hi.
945
00:50:15,291 --> 00:50:17,250
[BOTH CHUCKLING]
946
00:50:18,458 --> 00:50:22,166
OK, this scene's
between you and Hermia.
947
00:50:22,250 --> 00:50:25,333
So pretend I'm Allison, OK?
Sure.
948
00:50:25,417 --> 00:50:28,166
As difficult as that might be.
949
00:50:28,250 --> 00:50:29,917
No, go ahead.
950
00:50:32,125 --> 00:50:35,625
So Theseus says,
951
00:50:35,709 --> 00:50:38,834
"go, wake them
with their horns."
952
00:50:38,917 --> 00:50:41,166
And Hermia says,
953
00:50:41,250 --> 00:50:45,250
"methinks I see things
with parted eye,
954
00:50:45,333 --> 00:50:47,458
when everything seems double."
955
00:50:50,625 --> 00:50:51,625
OK, I got it.
956
00:50:51,667 --> 00:50:58,041
Uh, my lord,
I reply amazedly,
957
00:50:58,125 --> 00:51:01,125
half asleep, half awake.
958
00:51:02,458 --> 00:51:05,041
I came with Hermia Hither.
959
00:51:05,125 --> 00:51:07,375
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
960
00:51:07,458 --> 00:51:12,875
Our intent is to leave Athens...
Mm-hmm.
961
00:51:12,959 --> 00:51:14,917
Where we may be married.
962
00:51:16,250 --> 00:51:19,208
And then there's the kiss...
963
00:51:19,291 --> 00:51:21,417
Which is gonna be with Allison.
964
00:51:21,500 --> 00:51:22,667
Right.
965
00:51:24,792 --> 00:51:26,917
But in this case--
966
00:51:32,375 --> 00:51:34,417
[PHONE RINGS]
967
00:51:34,500 --> 00:51:36,625
[SIGHS]
Shit.
968
00:51:36,709 --> 00:51:38,625
What? Hey, let me take
a shot in the dark.
969
00:51:38,709 --> 00:51:41,917
Berke's there, right?
Felix, where are you?
970
00:51:42,000 --> 00:51:43,750
Big party. Hey, listen.
971
00:51:43,834 --> 00:51:46,291
Tell, uh, tell Berke he might
wanna stop by
972
00:51:46,375 --> 00:51:49,417
because there's some, uh, people
who've been asking about him.
973
00:51:49,500 --> 00:51:50,417
We gotta go to your house.
974
00:51:50,500 --> 00:51:52,250
[STEREO: DANCE POP]
975
00:51:52,333 --> 00:51:54,625
Well, well. I'm impressed.
976
00:51:54,709 --> 00:51:57,417
Turnout's not half-bad.
Where's Felix?
977
00:51:57,500 --> 00:51:59,875
Dude, uh, you should
really breathe, man.
978
00:51:59,959 --> 00:52:01,792
I mean, you look like
you're gonna stroke out.
979
00:52:01,875 --> 00:52:04,083
Look, I'm gonna look
for him over here, OK?
980
00:52:04,166 --> 00:52:07,041
You realize
I'm going to kill him.
981
00:52:07,125 --> 00:52:08,208
Felix!
982
00:52:10,542 --> 00:52:13,125
Felix!
If it isn't my beauteous costar.
983
00:52:13,208 --> 00:52:15,834
Have you seen my brother Felix?
Fair Helena.
984
00:52:15,917 --> 00:52:20,291
So tense. A few
pre-show jitters, perhaps?
985
00:52:20,375 --> 00:52:24,917
Or maybe some love pangs
for a certain you-know-who.
986
00:52:25,000 --> 00:52:26,959
You!
Berke! What's up?
987
00:52:27,041 --> 00:52:30,125
So what do you think, huh? What do I think?
What do I think?
988
00:52:30,208 --> 00:52:31,333
What are you talking about?
989
00:52:31,417 --> 00:52:32,577
Frankly, I don't know
what you girls see
990
00:52:32,583 --> 00:52:34,750
in this undereducated wank.
991
00:52:34,834 --> 00:52:39,625
Perhaps you can take me
out to the veranda and...
992
00:52:39,709 --> 00:52:40,458
Edify me.
993
00:52:40,542 --> 00:52:42,583
Shit, it's Striker.
994
00:52:42,667 --> 00:52:46,125
Look, I'll see you at the show.
What the hell is going on?
995
00:52:46,208 --> 00:52:48,750
Nothing.
Just a bit of tomfoolery.
996
00:52:48,834 --> 00:52:52,500
Felix, I'm handling it. No, you're
being handled by leather pants here.
997
00:52:52,583 --> 00:52:54,875
There's a difference.
I think you better go.
998
00:52:54,959 --> 00:52:57,319
Oh, come on. Do you really think
I'd fool around on Allison?
999
00:52:57,375 --> 00:53:00,333
You, of all people, should know
how damnable that would be.
1000
00:53:00,417 --> 00:53:02,125
Now, where's the grub?
This way? Thank you.
1001
00:53:02,208 --> 00:53:05,125
[DANCE][PEOPLE CHATTERING, LAUGHING]
1002
00:53:11,917 --> 00:53:14,333
[GRUNTS]
Guys.
1003
00:53:14,417 --> 00:53:17,375
Is it just me or does this punch
taste kind of funky?
1004
00:53:17,458 --> 00:53:19,417
There's chunks.
1005
00:53:23,458 --> 00:53:25,500
Hi.
1006
00:53:25,583 --> 00:53:28,166
I-- I-- -I've been wondering
where you've been.
1007
00:53:28,250 --> 00:53:31,333
We have to talk about Striker.
1008
00:53:31,417 --> 00:53:35,750
No, no. You will stop
at nothing, will you?
1009
00:53:37,500 --> 00:53:40,959
Allison. Allison.
1010
00:53:41,917 --> 00:53:44,834
[MOANING]
1011
00:53:46,458 --> 00:53:50,041
Striker?
Allison!
1012
00:53:50,125 --> 00:53:51,125
Maggie.
1013
00:53:52,125 --> 00:53:54,834
Allison, I'm-- I'm so sorry.
1014
00:53:56,458 --> 00:53:59,458
You can all just go to hell.
1015
00:54:07,458 --> 00:54:10,166
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
1016
00:54:15,333 --> 00:54:17,083
Hey, you.
1017
00:54:17,166 --> 00:54:20,417
[SIGHS] Sorry about
this whole party thing.
1018
00:54:20,500 --> 00:54:22,750
My brother is
kind of an asshole.
1019
00:54:22,834 --> 00:54:24,458
Kind of?
1020
00:54:24,542 --> 00:54:26,250
I'm seriously considering
telling mom
1021
00:54:26,333 --> 00:54:28,000
where he keeps his porn.
1022
00:54:30,542 --> 00:54:32,500
That was a joke.
1023
00:54:35,500 --> 00:54:38,250
Kelly, why do you
hang out with me?
1024
00:54:38,333 --> 00:54:40,375
I mean, you probably have
better things to do
1025
00:54:40,458 --> 00:54:45,041
than to, uh, waste your time
with a hapless loser.
1026
00:54:45,125 --> 00:54:49,417
You're not a loser, Berke.
Allison thinks so.
1027
00:54:49,500 --> 00:54:52,166
[WHISPERS]
Allison's an idiot.
1028
00:54:53,166 --> 00:54:54,917
I have done...
1029
00:54:55,041 --> 00:54:59,083
Absolutely everything
for that girl.
1030
00:55:00,208 --> 00:55:02,333
She just doesn't get it.
1031
00:55:09,208 --> 00:55:11,583
[GUITAR MUSIC]
1032
00:55:21,542 --> 00:55:24,000
[BIRD CALLING]
1033
00:55:38,583 --> 00:55:40,250
I can't do this.
1034
00:55:45,625 --> 00:55:48,583
Kelly, I think you're great,
but we can't-- we can't do this.
1035
00:55:50,417 --> 00:55:52,417
You're Felix's little sister.
1036
00:55:56,917 --> 00:55:58,375
Screw you.
1037
00:55:58,458 --> 00:56:01,709
Kelly, wait a second.
That came out wrong!
1038
00:56:04,542 --> 00:56:07,834
What was that?
Felix, it's not what you think.
1039
00:56:09,542 --> 00:56:12,500
What the hell has gotten into you?
Aah.
1040
00:56:15,583 --> 00:56:20,500
Well, well! Why am I suddenly glad
we left the conference early?
1041
00:56:20,583 --> 00:56:24,041
I don't recall anything
about a party, Berke.
1042
00:56:24,125 --> 00:56:26,208
We could have sprung
for a deejay.
1043
00:56:26,291 --> 00:56:29,208
Make sure and put the furniture
back when you're done.
1044
00:56:29,291 --> 00:56:33,583
Mom, dad, reverend's daughter,
Judy, just took a dump in our pool
1045
00:56:33,667 --> 00:56:35,375
and you want to spring
for a deejay?
1046
00:56:35,458 --> 00:56:38,083
That's what makes us so fly!
1047
00:56:38,500 --> 00:56:40,250
We trust you.
1048
00:56:41,625 --> 00:56:44,959
You're my parents, for god's sakes.
Stop trusting me!
1049
00:56:50,792 --> 00:56:53,375
Poor Judy.
I'll go get the skimmer.
1050
00:57:07,709 --> 00:57:09,583
Well, this is
pretty interesting.
1051
00:57:09,667 --> 00:57:12,458
It was nothing.
Kelly, I was there.
1052
00:57:12,542 --> 00:57:15,917
He kissed you,
and I don't know why he did it.
1053
00:57:16,000 --> 00:57:17,869
I mean, Berke's pretty screwed
up right now, but--
1054
00:57:17,875 --> 00:57:20,500
Look, I kissed him, too.
1055
00:57:23,208 --> 00:57:28,417
And, yes, he is screwed up, and he likes
someone else, and it's a problem,
1056
00:57:28,500 --> 00:57:30,875
but, Felix, it's my problem.
1057
00:57:37,458 --> 00:57:41,208
Look, you'd know I'd be lying if
I said I was happy about this.
1058
00:57:45,208 --> 00:57:50,166
But, um, if Berke can't see what
an amazing person you are...
1059
00:57:52,041 --> 00:57:54,917
Then I'd say that he's the one
with the problem.
1060
00:57:58,375 --> 00:57:59,542
Good night.
1061
00:58:06,166 --> 00:58:09,083
[GUITAR MUSIC]
1062
00:58:25,417 --> 00:58:27,244
[ON TAPE] Uh, hey, it's-- it's me.
It's Berke.
1063
00:58:27,250 --> 00:58:31,500
Uh, just wanted to say thanks
for all your help.
1064
00:58:31,583 --> 00:58:36,333
Uh, the guy at the music store said that
songwriters use these things, so, uh--
1065
00:58:36,417 --> 00:58:41,208
If anyone can fix Forrest Oates'
song, it's-- it's definitely you.
1066
00:58:41,291 --> 00:58:45,208
Just know that I-- I
believe in you, Kelly.
1067
00:58:45,291 --> 00:58:47,000
Um... break a leg.
1068
00:58:47,083 --> 00:58:50,709
MAN:♪ now I've fallen in deep ♪
1069
00:58:50,792 --> 00:58:53,500
♪ Slow, silent sleep ♪
1070
00:58:53,583 --> 00:58:56,333
♪ It's killing me ♪
1071
00:58:56,417 --> 00:59:01,083
♪ I'm dying ♪
1072
00:59:19,792 --> 00:59:22,458
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
1073
00:59:30,834 --> 00:59:34,667
Hey, let's mess with the mortals
one more time. [GIGGLING]
1074
00:59:34,750 --> 00:59:37,000
Boyfriend'll be
trippin' on this.
1075
00:59:38,000 --> 00:59:40,583
One more dose for Mr. morose.
1076
00:59:40,667 --> 00:59:43,208
It's time for a little
wake-up call.
1077
00:59:43,291 --> 00:59:45,500
And I'm outta here.
1078
00:59:49,291 --> 00:59:53,083
And in the woods,
where the scents are sweet,
1079
00:59:53,166 --> 00:59:56,375
there my Lysander and myself
shall meet.
1080
01:00:06,291 --> 01:00:09,208
Maybe it's time you started
dreaming of someone else.
1081
01:00:09,291 --> 01:00:12,709
Berke.
You were my first.
1082
01:00:12,792 --> 01:00:14,583
No one's ever
gonna replace you.
1083
01:00:14,667 --> 01:00:18,250
I've dazzled my way into
your ex-girlfriend's fancies.
1084
01:00:18,333 --> 01:00:20,959
You were the quintessential
high-school couple.
1085
01:00:21,041 --> 01:00:24,959
She's not your girlfriend anymore, man.
1086
01:00:25,041 --> 01:00:30,000
I'm moving on with my life,
and you're moving on with yours.
1087
01:00:30,083 --> 01:00:31,994
Are we freaking you out?
Yeah, we're freaking him out.
1088
01:00:32,000 --> 01:00:34,625
[JUMBLED VOICES SPEAKING AT ONCE]
1089
01:00:34,709 --> 01:00:37,333
[SCREAMS]
1090
01:00:43,709 --> 01:00:46,667
Uh, Dr. Forrest Oates, the
attendants' costumes just arrived.
1091
01:00:46,750 --> 01:00:48,125
Thank Buddha.
1092
01:00:48,208 --> 01:00:50,250
And, uh, your wife called.
1093
01:00:50,333 --> 01:00:53,291
She might not make it
to tonight's performance.
1094
01:00:53,375 --> 01:00:54,750
Did she say why?
1095
01:00:54,834 --> 01:00:57,250
It was difficult to understand
through the slur.
1096
01:00:59,834 --> 01:01:02,792
Uh, and, sir?
There is one more thing.
1097
01:01:02,875 --> 01:01:05,792
Del Molden, Jr. is sick.
1098
01:01:05,875 --> 01:01:09,125
My dance partner?
1099
01:01:09,208 --> 01:01:11,834
That's enough out of you,
McMouth!
1100
01:01:11,917 --> 01:01:15,166
Now, apparently, he got hold of some
tainted fruit punch last night...
1101
01:01:15,250 --> 01:01:16,792
And won't be able to perform.
1102
01:01:16,875 --> 01:01:18,500
Not that it matters at all,
1103
01:01:18,583 --> 01:01:21,667
because the entire production's
going down in flames, so--
1104
01:01:21,750 --> 01:01:24,500
[CHUCKLING]
Oh.
1105
01:01:24,583 --> 01:01:26,166
That having been said,
1106
01:01:26,250 --> 01:01:28,166
I'm curious if anyone
feels that they can fill
1107
01:01:28,250 --> 01:01:30,875
the little booze hound's place.
1108
01:01:32,750 --> 01:01:34,500
Good. Let me ask you this.
1109
01:01:34,583 --> 01:01:38,208
Is there anyone who, at all,
is good on their feet?
1110
01:01:38,291 --> 01:01:42,834
A shuffle, or a turn,
or an attitude of any kind
1111
01:01:42,917 --> 01:01:44,166
with a pose?
1112
01:01:44,250 --> 01:01:45,667
Well, uh--
[CLEARS THROAT]
1113
01:01:45,750 --> 01:01:47,333
Sometimes, uh, coach Hibble
1114
01:01:47,417 --> 01:01:48,792
calls me crazy legs.
1115
01:01:48,875 --> 01:01:50,417
Oh, does he?
1116
01:01:51,875 --> 01:01:54,458
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
1117
01:01:55,125 --> 01:01:56,709
Wait. Wait a second.
1118
01:01:56,792 --> 01:01:58,709
All right, maybe if you
took a half step back
1119
01:01:58,792 --> 01:02:00,750
before the spin.
1120
01:02:00,834 --> 01:02:03,417
OK, just follow my lead.
1121
01:02:03,500 --> 01:02:05,792
I learnt this from
watching in the wings.
1122
01:02:07,166 --> 01:02:08,542
Wow!
1123
01:02:08,625 --> 01:02:09,875
Felix!
1124
01:02:09,959 --> 01:02:11,667
Kelly, shouldn't you
be getting ready?
1125
01:02:11,750 --> 01:02:13,917
I am. I'm in makeup.
1126
01:02:14,000 --> 01:02:16,667
Listen, I need you
to do a favor for me.
1127
01:02:21,917 --> 01:02:24,375
MAN: Ladies and gentlemen,
please take your seats.
1128
01:02:24,458 --> 01:02:27,166
The performance
is about to begin.
1129
01:02:27,917 --> 01:02:29,875
It's over.
1130
01:02:29,959 --> 01:02:32,500
After this one, I'll be
directing on the streets.
1131
01:02:34,166 --> 01:02:38,083
♪ All the doo-dah night
all the doo-dah day ♪
1132
01:02:38,166 --> 01:02:40,083
♪ Bet my money on a bobtail nag ♪
1133
01:02:40,166 --> 01:02:42,834
♪ Somebody bet on the bay ♪
ohh!
1134
01:02:46,208 --> 01:02:47,375
Hey.
1135
01:02:48,458 --> 01:02:49,959
Break a leg.
1136
01:02:50,041 --> 01:02:52,750
[INSTRUMENTS TUNING UP]
1137
01:02:52,834 --> 01:02:54,125
Go-- go ahead, Jessica.
1138
01:02:54,208 --> 01:02:55,583
Raise the curtain on the tragedy
1139
01:02:55,667 --> 01:02:57,959
that has befallen
the bard's greatest comedy.
1140
01:02:58,041 --> 01:03:00,750
I'm praying for you, sir.
Thanks.
1141
01:03:00,834 --> 01:03:03,208
[ORCHESTRA]
1142
01:03:09,875 --> 01:03:12,917
♪ Did ya ever read
a Shakespeare play ♪
1143
01:03:13,000 --> 01:03:17,750
♪ Ooh-ooh ♪
♪ and never understand a word they say? ♪
1144
01:03:17,834 --> 01:03:22,291
♪ Ahh-ahh ♪
♪ well, tonight we're gonna make things clear ♪
1145
01:03:22,375 --> 01:03:24,625
♪ 'Cause Shakespeare's dead ♪
1146
01:03:24,709 --> 01:03:27,750
♪ But we're all here ♪
1147
01:03:27,834 --> 01:03:30,291
[HOOTING, CHEERING]
1148
01:03:30,375 --> 01:03:33,083
♪ William Shakespeare wrote a play ♪
1149
01:03:33,166 --> 01:03:35,959
♪ A long, long time ago ♪
1150
01:03:36,041 --> 01:03:38,417
♪ About this chick named Hermia ♪
1151
01:03:38,500 --> 01:03:40,959
♪ And the two guys who loved her so ♪
♪ whoa-oh ♪
1152
01:03:41,041 --> 01:03:44,083
♪ They said, Hermia,
please be my girl ♪
1153
01:03:44,166 --> 01:03:46,917
♪ But she only wanted one ♪
♪ she wanted one ♪
1154
01:03:47,000 --> 01:03:49,625
♪ And the night
the fairies came to play ♪
1155
01:03:49,709 --> 01:03:52,458
♪ That's the night we've our fun ♪
1156
01:03:52,542 --> 01:03:55,417
♪ 'Cause I love him ♪
♪ and I love her ♪
1157
01:03:55,500 --> 01:03:58,333
♪ If only her best friend
he'd prefer ♪
1158
01:03:58,417 --> 01:04:01,041
♪ And so the fairies
all hatched a scheme ♪
1159
01:04:01,125 --> 01:04:03,208
♪ In this boom-shacka-lacka-lacka ♪
1160
01:04:03,291 --> 01:04:06,208
♪ Midsummer night's dream ♪
1161
01:04:06,291 --> 01:04:08,959
♪ Midsummer night's dream ♪
1162
01:04:09,041 --> 01:04:15,583
♪ Midsummer night's dream ♪
1163
01:04:17,375 --> 01:04:18,750
[GASPS]
1164
01:04:25,917 --> 01:04:28,542
Look, there's Helena.
1165
01:04:28,625 --> 01:04:30,375
Oh, fair Helena.
1166
01:04:30,458 --> 01:04:34,333
Call you me fair?
That fair again unsay.
1167
01:04:34,417 --> 01:04:37,041
Doesn't Kelly look beautiful?
Mmm.
1168
01:04:37,125 --> 01:04:40,250
Demetrius and Lysander
love your fair, Hermia.
1169
01:04:41,667 --> 01:04:44,875
Oh, happy fair.
[APPLAUDING]
1170
01:04:44,959 --> 01:04:47,250
[DISCO BEAT]
1171
01:04:47,333 --> 01:04:51,166
♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
do it.
1172
01:04:51,250 --> 01:04:52,875
Yeah, baby.
Do it.
1173
01:04:52,959 --> 01:04:58,709
♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
ooh-ooh-waah-ohh ♪
1174
01:04:58,792 --> 01:05:02,083
♪ It's fun to be a fairy
and fly from town to town ♪
1175
01:05:02,166 --> 01:05:05,709
♪ Our fairy dust will keep
you up you won't come down ♪
1176
01:05:05,792 --> 01:05:09,417
♪ Yeah, it's fun to be a fairy
and wear such pretty things ♪
1177
01:05:09,500 --> 01:05:13,583
♪ It's fun to carry love juice
on your fairy wings, yeah ♪
1178
01:05:13,667 --> 01:05:16,375
♪ What fools these mortals be ♪
1179
01:05:16,458 --> 01:05:21,083
♪ That try to play at love
and make a comedy, yeah ♪
1180
01:05:21,166 --> 01:05:23,917
♪ Why can't these mortals learn ♪
1181
01:05:24,000 --> 01:05:27,125
♪ A fairy up above
will never crash and burn ♪
1182
01:05:27,208 --> 01:05:29,417
♪ Yeah, it's fun to be a fairy ♪
♪ that's right ♪
1183
01:05:29,500 --> 01:05:32,125
♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah
it's fun to be a fairy ♪
1184
01:05:32,208 --> 01:05:34,458
♪ That's right ♪
♪ ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah ♪
1185
01:05:34,542 --> 01:05:38,125
♪ It's fun to be a fairy
uh-huh, uh-huh, I like it ♪
1186
01:05:38,208 --> 01:05:41,583
♪ It's fun to be a fairy ♪
♪ give it up, give it up give it up, give it up ♪
1187
01:05:41,667 --> 01:05:45,917
♪ It's fun to be a fairy ♪
it's fairy power!
1188
01:05:46,000 --> 01:05:48,375
[CHEERING]
1189
01:05:52,959 --> 01:05:55,959
That was, uh--
That was OK!
1190
01:05:57,166 --> 01:06:00,417
Relent...
Sweet Hermia.
1191
01:06:00,500 --> 01:06:03,291
And, Lysander,
yield thy crazed title
1192
01:06:03,375 --> 01:06:06,000
to my certain right.
1193
01:06:06,083 --> 01:06:08,834
You have her father's love,
Demetrius.
1194
01:06:08,917 --> 01:06:11,166
Let me have Hermia's.
1195
01:06:12,041 --> 01:06:14,667
Do you marry him?
1196
01:06:15,500 --> 01:06:18,625
Shit, butt-wanker. Dick-weed.
1197
01:06:18,709 --> 01:06:21,917
It's so real,
you can almost feel the tension.
1198
01:06:22,000 --> 01:06:23,083
Word.
1199
01:06:23,166 --> 01:06:28,166
♪ Whoo-ooh-ooh
why won't you love me? ♪
1200
01:06:28,250 --> 01:06:32,458
♪ Whoo-ooh-ooh whoo-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
1201
01:06:32,542 --> 01:06:36,583
♪ There's a girl ♪
♪ who says she don't love me ♪
1202
01:06:36,667 --> 01:06:40,750
♪ So that's the girl ♪
♪ that I got to have ♪
1203
01:06:40,834 --> 01:06:45,542
♪ I'll tell you why ♪
♪ she's everything a girl ought to be ♪
1204
01:06:45,625 --> 01:06:48,625
♪ And that is why ♪
♪ I can't understand ♪
1205
01:06:48,709 --> 01:06:51,667
♪ Why she don't love me ♪
♪ no ♪
1206
01:06:51,750 --> 01:06:53,458
♪ Hermia ♪
1207
01:06:53,542 --> 01:06:56,000
♪ I'll make you love me ♪
1208
01:06:56,083 --> 01:06:58,166
♪ Hermia ♪
1209
01:06:58,250 --> 01:07:01,000
♪ I'll make you care ♪
1210
01:07:01,083 --> 01:07:04,000
♪ Never before has a girl ♪
1211
01:07:04,083 --> 01:07:05,166
♪ Hurt me more ♪
1212
01:07:05,250 --> 01:07:09,166
♪ I'm begging Hermia ♪
1213
01:07:09,250 --> 01:07:12,000
♪ Please love me ♪
1214
01:07:12,083 --> 01:07:13,083
Bitch.
Panzy.
1215
01:07:13,125 --> 01:07:14,166
♪ Why won't you love me? ♪
1216
01:07:14,250 --> 01:07:16,125
♪ Please love me ♪
1217
01:07:16,208 --> 01:07:18,083
Asshole.
1218
01:07:30,625 --> 01:07:32,041
Hmm, hmm.
1219
01:07:32,125 --> 01:07:36,208
I'll apply to your eye
gentle lover's remedy.
1220
01:07:36,291 --> 01:07:38,250
And when thou wakest,
1221
01:07:38,333 --> 01:07:40,500
thou will takest true delight...
1222
01:07:40,583 --> 01:07:43,250
In the sight
of thy true lover's eye.
1223
01:07:49,083 --> 01:07:51,834
OK, people, we're back in 20.
1224
01:07:51,917 --> 01:07:55,041
Berke, Berke, I, um, I want to
talk to you about something.
1225
01:07:55,125 --> 01:07:57,208
Can we go somewhere?
Yeah.
1226
01:07:57,291 --> 01:07:58,667
Thank you.
1227
01:08:03,750 --> 01:08:04,917
Well.
1228
01:08:06,333 --> 01:08:09,250
[SIGHS] I could use a drink.
Yeah.
1229
01:08:09,333 --> 01:08:11,786
Kaisha, you're just not equipped to
deal with this. I'm talking equipment.
1230
01:08:11,792 --> 01:08:14,917
Oh, hardware. We're talking 800 number.
She wants a blow-up doll, right?
1231
01:08:15,000 --> 01:08:17,291
I called them once for advice.
1232
01:08:17,375 --> 01:08:19,250
Really?
1233
01:08:19,333 --> 01:08:22,166
Yeah. I had zits on my balls.
1234
01:08:23,333 --> 01:08:25,291
They're gone now.
1235
01:08:27,166 --> 01:08:30,083
Gentlemen, I'm here for a favor.
1236
01:08:30,166 --> 01:08:32,250
In act four, scene one,
1237
01:08:32,333 --> 01:08:35,250
there's a particular effects cue.
1238
01:08:35,333 --> 01:08:38,917
Ah, the volk tube crescendo.
1239
01:08:39,000 --> 01:08:40,458
Right. Now, is this the one?
1240
01:08:40,542 --> 01:08:44,792
Uh, no. That one
could take out a village.
1241
01:08:44,875 --> 01:08:47,417
Hmm. I see.
1242
01:08:47,500 --> 01:08:50,125
Well, I was wondering
if you might be able
1243
01:08:50,208 --> 01:08:53,500
to detonate it a bit...
Early.
1244
01:08:53,583 --> 01:08:56,333
Isn't that before
Mr. Lander's cross?
1245
01:08:56,417 --> 01:08:58,250
Look, all it'll do is scare him.
1246
01:08:58,333 --> 01:09:00,834
I can signal you
by raising my sword like this.
1247
01:09:03,208 --> 01:09:07,291
Look, about this whole thing with Striker,
I'm sorry I didn't believe you.
1248
01:09:07,375 --> 01:09:11,959
I'm sorry you had to find out
like that. It kinda sucked.
1249
01:09:12,041 --> 01:09:16,500
Look, I-- I know I don't deserve to
ask you anything right now, but...
1250
01:09:16,583 --> 01:09:19,458
If I could just have one wish,
1251
01:09:19,542 --> 01:09:24,250
it would be that we could
go back to the way things were.
1252
01:09:24,333 --> 01:09:25,667
You know?
1253
01:09:25,750 --> 01:09:29,959
I-- I mean, the friends part.
Yeah, sure.
1254
01:09:31,458 --> 01:09:34,083
And as for the rest of it,
well...
1255
01:09:41,709 --> 01:09:44,250
We'll just leave it up to fate.
1256
01:09:46,083 --> 01:09:48,458
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
1257
01:09:51,041 --> 01:09:55,625
Did I mention there was
$47 in it for you?
1258
01:09:56,375 --> 01:09:58,166
Not bad.
1259
01:09:58,250 --> 01:10:02,959
Hmm, I believe, Mr. Scrumfeld,
1260
01:10:03,041 --> 01:10:04,291
we have an understanding.
1261
01:10:04,375 --> 01:10:09,041
Remember, gentlemen,
when I raise my sword.
1262
01:10:13,834 --> 01:10:16,834
Hey, uh, the-- the music's
been, uh, been-- been good,
1263
01:10:16,917 --> 01:10:20,709
but, uh, you know that song, uh,
"a pocketful of, uh, dreams?"
1264
01:10:20,792 --> 01:10:23,250
Down here we call it "pocketful
of ass." Yeah, that's the one.
1265
01:10:23,333 --> 01:10:25,542
Listen, there's been
a change of plans.
1266
01:10:25,625 --> 01:10:28,291
[BELLS CHIMING]
1267
01:10:29,125 --> 01:10:31,208
Oh, this is different.
1268
01:10:31,291 --> 01:10:33,667
[ORCHESTRA]
1269
01:10:39,500 --> 01:10:42,041
A spell had been cast,
1270
01:10:42,125 --> 01:10:44,375
the lovers sleep,
1271
01:10:44,458 --> 01:10:46,375
though in repose,
1272
01:10:46,458 --> 01:10:50,291
fair Helena's love
for Demetrius grows.
1273
01:10:51,458 --> 01:10:53,917
[PIANO MUSIC]
1274
01:10:55,000 --> 01:10:57,875
O weary night,
1275
01:10:57,959 --> 01:10:59,333
abate thy hours.
1276
01:11:01,500 --> 01:11:04,375
Steal me awhile
from my own company.
1277
01:11:11,166 --> 01:11:15,250
♪ Let me sleep ♪
1278
01:11:15,333 --> 01:11:18,750
♪ For when I sleep I dream ♪
1279
01:11:18,834 --> 01:11:22,291
♪ That you are here ♪
1280
01:11:22,375 --> 01:11:25,208
♪ You're mine ♪
1281
01:11:25,291 --> 01:11:27,458
♪ And all my fears ♪
1282
01:11:27,542 --> 01:11:30,083
♪ Are left behind ♪
1283
01:11:30,166 --> 01:11:32,417
♪ I float ♪
1284
01:11:32,500 --> 01:11:34,625
♪ On air ♪
1285
01:11:34,709 --> 01:11:37,750
♪ The nightingale sings ♪
1286
01:11:37,834 --> 01:11:42,291
♪ Gentle lullabies ♪
1287
01:11:42,375 --> 01:11:47,458
♪ So let me close my eyes ♪
1288
01:11:47,542 --> 01:11:49,500
Jessica! Jessica!
1289
01:11:49,583 --> 01:11:54,417
♪ And sleep perchance to dream ♪
1290
01:11:54,500 --> 01:11:58,125
♪ So I can see the face ♪
1291
01:11:58,208 --> 01:12:01,959
♪ I long to touch ♪
1292
01:12:02,041 --> 01:12:04,291
♪ To kiss ♪
1293
01:12:04,375 --> 01:12:06,458
♪ But only dreams ♪
1294
01:12:06,542 --> 01:12:08,625
♪ Can bring me this ♪
1295
01:12:08,709 --> 01:12:13,625
♪ So let the moon ♪
1296
01:12:13,709 --> 01:12:17,291
♪ Shine softly on the boy ♪
1297
01:12:17,375 --> 01:12:21,333
♪ I long to see ♪
1298
01:12:21,417 --> 01:12:26,500
♪ And maybe when he dreams ♪
1299
01:12:26,583 --> 01:12:31,583
♪ He'll dream of me ♪
1300
01:12:38,792 --> 01:12:43,500
♪ Hide beneath the clouds ♪
1301
01:12:43,583 --> 01:12:48,500
♪ And whisper to the evening star ♪
1302
01:12:48,583 --> 01:12:50,500
♪ They tell me love ♪
1303
01:12:50,583 --> 01:12:55,500
♪ Is just a dream away ♪
1304
01:12:55,583 --> 01:12:59,542
♪ Dream away ♪
1305
01:12:59,625 --> 01:13:04,166
♪ I'll dream away ♪
1306
01:13:04,250 --> 01:13:05,625
[NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
1307
01:13:19,750 --> 01:13:24,667
♪ So let the moon ♪
1308
01:13:24,750 --> 01:13:28,500
♪ Shine softly on the boy ♪
1309
01:13:28,583 --> 01:13:32,583
♪ I long to see ♪
1310
01:13:32,667 --> 01:13:37,583
♪ And maybe when he dreams ♪
1311
01:13:37,667 --> 01:13:42,875
♪ He'll dream of me ♪
1312
01:13:46,500 --> 01:13:49,125
♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh ♪
1313
01:13:49,208 --> 01:13:54,667
♪ Dream of me ♪
1314
01:13:58,291 --> 01:13:59,667
MAN: Whoo!
1315
01:14:15,500 --> 01:14:19,667
Go bid the huntsmen. Wake them
with-- with their horns.
1316
01:14:20,667 --> 01:14:23,709
[HORN: FANFARE]
1317
01:14:25,709 --> 01:14:27,625
My lord, I shall reply amazedly,
1318
01:14:27,709 --> 01:14:30,458
half sleep, half waking.
1319
01:14:30,542 --> 01:14:31,583
I came with Hermia Hither.
1320
01:14:31,667 --> 01:14:34,625
Our intent was to be gone
from Athens, so we might,
1321
01:14:34,709 --> 01:14:37,500
without the peril
of Athenian law, be wed.
1322
01:14:40,542 --> 01:14:42,166
However--
1323
01:14:42,250 --> 01:14:45,083
What?
"However?"
1324
01:14:50,250 --> 01:14:53,083
My lord,
1325
01:14:53,166 --> 01:14:54,792
we slept and slept,
1326
01:14:54,875 --> 01:14:56,625
as well you know.
1327
01:14:56,709 --> 01:14:59,083
Uh, things did change,
1328
01:14:59,166 --> 01:15:01,417
as love did grow.
1329
01:15:03,166 --> 01:15:05,166
Although,
1330
01:15:05,250 --> 01:15:10,667
in ways, fair Hermia's soul and
mine shall forever intertwine.
1331
01:15:10,750 --> 01:15:13,417
Alas, we must forever part,
1332
01:15:14,917 --> 01:15:19,417
for lo, to another
belongs this heart.
1333
01:15:23,917 --> 01:15:25,667
AUDIENCE: Ahh!
1334
01:15:25,750 --> 01:15:28,917
[LOUD CHEERING]
1335
01:15:41,542 --> 01:15:45,458
Wait a second! Wait a second.
You can't do that!
1336
01:15:45,542 --> 01:15:49,166
You can't just change
400-year-old literature!
1337
01:15:49,250 --> 01:15:51,875
It's not even supposed to rhyme!
[ALL LAUGHING]
1338
01:15:51,959 --> 01:15:54,500
[SCATTERED APPLAUSE]
Fine.
1339
01:15:54,583 --> 01:15:57,166
I could do it, too.
I do not like it in a moat.
1340
01:15:57,250 --> 01:16:02,333
I do not like it in a boat. I do not
like it in a car. Now, how's that?
1341
01:16:02,417 --> 01:16:05,166
[CHEERING]
Boo!
1342
01:16:05,250 --> 01:16:07,000
Oh, stop cheering.
1343
01:16:08,250 --> 01:16:09,792
Stop cheering!
1344
01:16:10,750 --> 01:16:13,667
Stop cheering!
Do it now!
1345
01:16:13,750 --> 01:16:16,375
Stop-- whoa!
Oh!
1346
01:16:16,458 --> 01:16:19,250
Ohh-ohh-ohh!
1347
01:16:19,333 --> 01:16:22,250
[SCREAMING]
1348
01:16:27,917 --> 01:16:29,750
Thanks.
You're welcome.
1349
01:16:29,834 --> 01:16:32,500
[APPLAUDING, CHEERING CONTINUES]
1350
01:16:44,500 --> 01:16:46,709
What is that?
1351
01:16:46,792 --> 01:16:48,458
It's applause, sir.
1352
01:16:57,834 --> 01:17:00,375
Thank you. Thank you!
1353
01:17:01,834 --> 01:17:04,000
[SHOUTING]
Thank you!
1354
01:17:22,041 --> 01:17:23,250
Oh, my god. Are you crying?
1355
01:17:23,333 --> 01:17:25,875
No, you're just squeezing
my puncture wound.
1356
01:17:32,250 --> 01:17:33,792
Mmm.
1357
01:17:33,875 --> 01:17:36,083
Make it a little more like this.
1358
01:17:37,709 --> 01:17:40,667
You were trying to fly into
my seat, weren't you? No.
1359
01:17:40,750 --> 01:17:43,625
Oh, come on.
Well, maybe just a little.
1360
01:17:43,709 --> 01:17:47,500
Oh, see, I knew it.
You're so bad, yet I love it.
1361
01:17:47,583 --> 01:17:51,792
Oh, just-- just hold on
for one... second.
1362
01:17:51,875 --> 01:17:54,709
I'll-- I'll be right back, OK?
1363
01:17:56,291 --> 01:17:57,375
So...
1364
01:17:58,959 --> 01:18:01,000
You and my sister, huh?
1365
01:18:01,083 --> 01:18:03,500
You're not gonna hit
me again, are you? No.
1366
01:18:03,583 --> 01:18:06,834
No, but I'm not thrilled.
All right, man?
1367
01:18:06,917 --> 01:18:09,000
But if it has to be somebody,
1368
01:18:09,083 --> 01:18:12,875
um, I'm kinda glad it's you.
1369
01:18:12,959 --> 01:18:14,083
Thanks.
1370
01:18:16,875 --> 01:18:18,166
Hey, Kel.
Hey.
1371
01:18:18,250 --> 01:18:19,890
Hey, good job tonight.
You guys were good.
1372
01:18:19,917 --> 01:18:21,834
You guys were funny.
Thanks.
1373
01:18:21,917 --> 01:18:23,667
Listen, I'm, uh, I gotta go.
1374
01:18:23,750 --> 01:18:26,875
Oh, you and Dora Lynn.
Yeah.
1375
01:18:26,959 --> 01:18:28,834
Aren't you kind of worried
about the whole--
1376
01:18:28,917 --> 01:18:30,875
Uh, accident-prone? No, no.
1377
01:18:30,959 --> 01:18:35,083
Well, I think Dora Lynn's
about to have a change of luck.
1378
01:18:35,166 --> 01:18:37,875
Go, Felix.
I'll see you guys later.
1379
01:18:37,959 --> 01:18:39,834
All right.
Let's get some dim sum.
1380
01:18:39,917 --> 01:18:41,125
Bye, Berke.
1381
01:18:42,959 --> 01:18:44,917
Oh! Oh, my god.
1382
01:18:45,000 --> 01:18:47,166
That's OK. That's fine.
1383
01:18:47,250 --> 01:18:51,917
And he blew off that stage
20 feet at least.
1384
01:18:52,000 --> 01:18:53,834
And then she took off
1385
01:18:53,917 --> 01:18:57,083
like this beautiful spaceship
into the night.
1386
01:18:57,166 --> 01:18:58,333
Oh.
1387
01:19:04,000 --> 01:19:05,875
Dude, we burned the shit
out of his face.
1388
01:19:05,959 --> 01:19:08,667
Tomorrow night, same thing.
1389
01:19:11,959 --> 01:19:14,875
So my theatrical debut--
1390
01:19:15,000 --> 01:19:16,959
What did you think?
1391
01:19:17,041 --> 01:19:19,458
You came on pretty strong
in that last act.
1392
01:19:19,542 --> 01:19:22,083
Yeah, I was good.
1393
01:19:22,166 --> 01:19:24,750
So you know we gotta do this
again tomorrow night.
1394
01:19:24,834 --> 01:19:26,458
How do you think it's gonna end?
1395
01:19:28,000 --> 01:19:31,959
We could bring back
the always popular big red song.
1396
01:19:32,041 --> 01:19:34,917
I'd rather be shot again
with an arrow.
1397
01:19:35,000 --> 01:19:36,750
I thought it was a prop.
1398
01:19:36,834 --> 01:19:38,208
Yeah, yeah.
1399
01:19:46,667 --> 01:19:47,959
[GIGGLING]
1400
01:19:48,041 --> 01:19:50,125
♪ Do you remember ♪
1401
01:19:50,208 --> 01:19:53,917
♪ The 21st night of September? ♪
1402
01:19:54,000 --> 01:19:57,959
♪ Love was changing the minds
of pretenders ♪
1403
01:19:58,041 --> 01:20:01,792
♪ While chasing the clouds away ♪
1404
01:20:01,875 --> 01:20:03,417
♪ Hey-yeah, yeah ♪
1405
01:20:03,500 --> 01:20:05,291
♪ Our hearts were ringin' ♪
1406
01:20:05,375 --> 01:20:09,166
♪ In the key that our souls were singin' ♪
1407
01:20:09,250 --> 01:20:13,291
♪ And as we danced in the night remember ♪
1408
01:20:13,375 --> 01:20:17,959
♪ How the stars stole the night away ♪
1409
01:20:18,041 --> 01:20:20,000
♪ Everybody, sing yeah ♪
1410
01:20:20,083 --> 01:20:22,417
♪ Ba-de-ya say do you remember ♪
1411
01:20:22,500 --> 01:20:25,166
♪ Say that you remember ♪
♪ Ba-de-ya ♪
1412
01:20:25,250 --> 01:20:27,291
♪ Dancing in September ♪
♪ yeah, whoo-ooh ♪
1413
01:20:27,375 --> 01:20:32,000
♪ Ba-de-ya never was a cloudy day ♪
1414
01:20:32,083 --> 01:20:35,959
♪ There never there never, yeah ♪
1415
01:20:36,041 --> 01:20:37,959
♪ Ba-de-ya, Ba-de-ya ♪
♪ hey ♪
1416
01:20:38,041 --> 01:20:42,333
♪ Do you feel it do you feel it? ♪
♪ Ba-de-ya, Ba-de-ya ♪
1417
01:20:42,417 --> 01:20:44,166
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Ba-de-ya, Ba-de-ya ♪
1418
01:20:44,250 --> 01:20:47,166
♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh ♪
♪ Ba-da-Ba-da-yea ♪
1419
01:20:47,250 --> 01:20:50,041
♪ Oh, somebody help me sing ♪
1420
01:20:50,125 --> 01:20:51,667
♪ My thoughts are with you ♪
1421
01:20:51,750 --> 01:20:55,667
♪ Holding hands
with your heart to see you ♪
1422
01:20:55,750 --> 01:20:59,667
♪ And only blue talk & love remember ♪
1423
01:20:59,750 --> 01:21:04,000
♪ How we knew love
was here to stay ♪
1424
01:21:04,083 --> 01:21:07,333
♪ Mmm, now December ♪
1425
01:21:07,417 --> 01:21:11,458
♪ I found the love
that we shared in September ♪
1426
01:21:11,542 --> 01:21:15,875
♪ Only blue talk & love remember ♪
1427
01:21:15,959 --> 01:21:20,250
♪ True love we share today ♪
1428
01:21:20,333 --> 01:21:22,709
♪ Ooh-ooh, sing it ♪
♪ Ba-de-ya ♪
1429
01:21:22,792 --> 01:21:25,500
♪ What you say now? ♪
♪ Say do you remember ♪
1430
01:21:25,583 --> 01:21:27,375
♪ Ba-de-ya ♪
♪ oh, hey, what you say now? ♪
1431
01:21:27,458 --> 01:21:29,208
♪ Dancing in September ♪
♪ ooh! ♪
1432
01:21:29,291 --> 01:21:31,041
♪ Ba-de-ya ♪
♪ come on ♪
1433
01:21:31,125 --> 01:21:33,583
♪ Never was a cloudy day ♪
1434
01:21:33,667 --> 01:21:37,208
♪ There never there never, whoa ♪
1435
01:21:37,291 --> 01:21:39,041
♪ Ba-de-ya, Ba-de-ya ♪
♪ hey ♪
1436
01:21:39,125 --> 01:21:41,041
♪ Ba-de-ya, Ba-de-ya ♪
♪ do you feel it? ♪
1437
01:21:41,125 --> 01:21:44,875
♪ Ba-de-ya, Ba-de-ya Ba-de-ya ♪
♪ do you feel it? Hey ♪
1438
01:21:44,959 --> 01:21:49,375
♪ Ba-de-ya, Ba-de-ya Ba-de-Ba-de-yea ♪
♪ oh, right ooh ♪
1439
01:21:49,458 --> 01:21:53,041
♪ Oh, bring it down right now ♪
1440
01:21:53,125 --> 01:21:56,417
♪ The bells were ringing ♪
1441
01:21:56,500 --> 01:22:00,709
♪ Our love was singing mmm ♪
1442
01:22:00,792 --> 01:22:02,083
♪ Do you remember ♪
1443
01:22:02,166 --> 01:22:06,083
♪ Never a cloudy day ♪
1444
01:22:06,166 --> 01:22:08,083
♪ Oh, somebody help me sing ♪
1445
01:22:08,166 --> 01:22:11,083
♪ Ba-de-ya say do you remember ♪
♪ yeah ♪
1446
01:22:11,166 --> 01:22:13,917
♪ Say that you remember ♪
♪ Ba-de-ya ♪
1447
01:22:14,000 --> 01:22:17,750
♪ Dancing in September Ba-de-ya ♪
♪ it never rain, rain ♪
1448
01:22:17,834 --> 01:22:22,125
♪ Never was a cloudy day ♪
♪ never a cloudy day ♪
1449
01:22:22,208 --> 01:22:23,542
♪ Ooh-ooh sing it ♪
1450
01:22:23,625 --> 01:22:25,750
♪ Ba-de-ya, Ba-de-ya ♪
♪ uh, what you say now? ♪
1451
01:22:25,834 --> 01:22:27,750
♪ Ba-de-ya, Ba-de-ya ♪
♪ sing it again ♪
1452
01:22:27,834 --> 01:22:32,542
♪ Ba-de-ya, Ba-de-ya Ba-de-ya ♪
♪ what you say now? Huh ooh ♪
1453
01:22:32,625 --> 01:22:35,917
♪ What you say now? Hey ♪
1454
01:22:36,000 --> 01:22:39,208
♪ Oh, oh-oh, yeah-yeah ♪
1455
01:22:39,291 --> 01:22:40,542
♪ Hey, hey ♪
1456
01:22:40,625 --> 01:22:44,166
♪ Come on sing it again ♪
1457
01:22:44,250 --> 01:22:46,125
♪ Come on ♪
1458
01:22:46,208 --> 01:22:49,125
♪ Sing it again yeah-hey-hey ♪
1459
01:22:49,208 --> 01:22:54,125
♪ Ba-de-yea ♪
♪ oh, oh-oh-oh-oh ♪
1460
01:22:54,208 --> 01:22:58,125
♪ Ba-de-ya, Ba-de-ya Ba-de-ya, Ba-de-ya ♪[VOCALIZING]
1461
01:22:58,208 --> 01:23:00,750
♪ Sing it again whoa, yeah ♪
1462
01:23:00,834 --> 01:23:04,792
♪ Ba-de-ya, Ba-de-ya Ba-de-ya ♪
♪ eh, eh, eh, eh ♪
1463
01:23:04,875 --> 01:23:09,542
♪ Ba-de-Ba-de-yeah ♪
1464
01:23:11,250 --> 01:23:13,667
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
1465
01:23:20,834 --> 01:23:26,375
♪ Oh, it's so funny to be
seein' you after so long girl ♪
1466
01:23:26,458 --> 01:23:29,542
♪ And with the way you look
I understand ♪
1467
01:23:29,625 --> 01:23:32,625
♪ That you are not impressed ♪
1468
01:23:32,709 --> 01:23:38,208
♪ But I heard you let
that little friend of mine ♪
1469
01:23:38,291 --> 01:23:41,583
♪ Take off your party dress ♪
1470
01:23:43,583 --> 01:23:47,792
♪ I'm not going to get
too sentimental ♪
1471
01:23:47,875 --> 01:23:52,458
♪ Like those other
sticky valentines ♪
1472
01:23:54,625 --> 01:23:59,125
♪ 'Cause I don't know if
you've been loving somebody ♪
1473
01:23:59,208 --> 01:24:03,125
♪ I only know it isn't mine ♪
1474
01:24:05,291 --> 01:24:09,750
♪ Alison ♪
1475
01:24:09,834 --> 01:24:15,166
♪ I know this world is killing you ♪
1476
01:24:15,250 --> 01:24:20,000
♪ Oh, Alison ♪
1477
01:24:22,125 --> 01:24:25,458
♪ My aim is true ♪
1478
01:24:28,750 --> 01:24:32,208
♪ Well I see
you've got a husband now ♪
1479
01:24:32,291 --> 01:24:35,208
♪ Did he leave
your pretty fingers lying ♪
1480
01:24:35,291 --> 01:24:37,917
♪ In the wedding cake? ♪
1481
01:24:38,000 --> 01:24:42,667
♪ You used to hold him
right in your hand ♪
1482
01:24:42,750 --> 01:24:47,125
♪ I'll bet he took
all he could take ♪
1483
01:24:48,917 --> 01:24:53,625
♪ Sometimes I wish that
I could stop you from talking ♪
1484
01:24:53,709 --> 01:24:58,333
♪ When I hear the silly things
that you say ♪
1485
01:25:00,125 --> 01:25:04,208
♪ I think somebody better
put out the big light ♪
1486
01:25:04,291 --> 01:25:09,667
♪ 'Cause I can't stand
to see you this way ♪
1487
01:25:11,000 --> 01:25:15,417
♪ Alison ♪
1488
01:25:15,500 --> 01:25:20,417
♪ I know this world
is killing you ♪
1489
01:25:20,500 --> 01:25:25,500
♪ Oh, Alison ♪
1490
01:25:28,000 --> 01:25:31,166
♪ My aim is true ♪
1491
01:25:33,375 --> 01:25:36,583
♪ My aim is true ♪
1492
01:25:38,375 --> 01:25:42,041
♪ My aim is true ♪
1493
01:25:44,333 --> 01:25:47,750
♪ My aim is true ♪
1494
01:25:49,375 --> 01:25:52,750
♪ My aim is true ♪
1495
01:25:55,250 --> 01:25:58,375
♪ My aim is true ♪
1496
01:26:00,333 --> 01:26:04,000
♪ My aim is true ♪
1497
01:26:05,417 --> 01:26:09,166
♪ My aim is true ♪
1498
01:26:11,208 --> 01:26:14,625
♪ My aim is true ♪
123005
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