All language subtitles for Breaking Barbi (2019) [WEBRip] [1080p] [filmxy.vip]-resync

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French Download
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:56,708 --> 00:01:01,708 Subtitles by explosiveskull 2 00:01:27,736 --> 00:01:28,969 In case you were wondering 3 00:01:28,971 --> 00:01:30,840 how I wound up in this farcical situation, 4 00:01:32,740 --> 00:01:33,907 let me catch you up. 5 00:01:41,183 --> 00:01:43,984 My name is Barbra Dolly Brennan. 6 00:01:43,986 --> 00:01:47,788 My parents named me after Barbra Streisand and Dolly Parton, 7 00:01:47,790 --> 00:01:48,889 their favorite singers. 8 00:01:48,891 --> 00:01:53,592 I'm a cosplayer, model, blogger, and fitness goddess. 9 00:01:53,594 --> 00:01:54,928 What is that, you ask? 10 00:01:54,930 --> 00:01:56,862 What are you, a hermit? 11 00:01:56,864 --> 00:01:59,966 It means I spend my days doing selfies, posing, 12 00:01:59,968 --> 00:02:04,603 and doing endless videos of my ass doing squats. 13 00:02:04,605 --> 00:02:05,672 Endless squats. 14 00:02:05,674 --> 00:02:06,907 Hundreds of squats. 15 00:02:06,909 --> 00:02:08,774 Thousands of squats. 16 00:02:08,776 --> 00:02:11,445 You can find me at Breaking underscore Barbi. 17 00:02:11,447 --> 00:02:16,082 Sounds easy but it's actually really hard. 18 00:02:16,084 --> 00:02:17,784 It means that anything I do 19 00:02:17,786 --> 00:02:20,821 suddenly turns into a photo shoot, a video opp, 20 00:02:20,823 --> 00:02:22,888 or an opportunity for a collab. 21 00:02:22,890 --> 00:02:26,993 This type of work comes with a major downside, 22 00:02:26,995 --> 00:02:28,060 meeting a nice guy. 23 00:02:28,062 --> 00:02:30,496 You have to be choosy, you know. 24 00:02:30,498 --> 00:02:33,233 I mean, like, what if I'm seen with a guy 25 00:02:33,235 --> 00:02:36,936 that doesn't even have at least 10,000 followers? 26 00:02:36,938 --> 00:02:39,005 That would be unthinkable. 27 00:02:39,007 --> 00:02:40,739 I have my reputation. 28 00:02:40,741 --> 00:02:43,143 And then I met Jake. 29 00:02:43,145 --> 00:02:45,814 250,000 followers. 30 00:02:46,914 --> 00:02:47,981 Plenty of water. 31 00:02:49,251 --> 00:02:51,984 Got the first aid kit in case of any emergency. 32 00:02:51,986 --> 00:02:52,752 - Got bandages. - OMG, he is 33 00:02:52,754 --> 00:02:55,054 - so fire. - Ointment, wet wipes. 34 00:02:55,056 --> 00:02:56,590 - Food rations. - I wonder how many hash tags 35 00:02:56,592 --> 00:02:58,060 I can fit into this post. 36 00:02:59,828 --> 00:03:01,227 Sunscreen. 37 00:03:01,229 --> 00:03:02,728 Lip ointment. 38 00:03:02,730 --> 00:03:04,263 Antibacterial gel. 39 00:03:04,265 --> 00:03:05,965 Flashlight. 40 00:03:05,967 --> 00:03:07,767 He asked me to go hiking with him 41 00:03:07,769 --> 00:03:08,901 on our first date. 42 00:03:13,808 --> 00:03:14,710 I just can't even. 43 00:03:43,104 --> 00:03:44,804 Antibacterial gel. 44 00:03:44,806 --> 00:03:45,939 Flashlight. 45 00:03:45,941 --> 00:03:46,776 Compass. 46 00:03:51,712 --> 00:03:52,681 Extra battery. 47 00:03:53,848 --> 00:03:55,114 Security blanket. 48 00:03:55,116 --> 00:03:57,017 - He's so into this! - Rope and tackle. 49 00:03:57,019 --> 00:03:57,851 Look at all those 50 00:03:57,853 --> 00:03:59,585 cute things he brought. 51 00:03:59,587 --> 00:04:02,589 And most importantly, a radio and GPS tracker 52 00:04:02,591 --> 00:04:03,857 so we can't get lost 53 00:04:03,859 --> 00:04:05,725 and we can call for help in case of an emergency. 54 00:04:05,727 --> 00:04:07,060 - I - totes need a selfie. 55 00:04:07,062 --> 00:04:08,561 Oh, like right now. 56 00:04:08,563 --> 00:04:09,197 Selfie. 57 00:04:11,667 --> 00:04:12,933 - My turn. - Jessica will be 58 00:04:12,935 --> 00:04:14,503 totally jelly when she sees me with this guy. 59 00:04:16,704 --> 00:04:18,038 All right, I think that's everything. 60 00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:19,272 You ready? 61 00:04:19,274 --> 00:04:21,007 You better believe it. 62 00:04:21,009 --> 00:04:21,942 Yep. 63 00:04:21,944 --> 00:04:22,810 You wanna do a last check? 64 00:04:22,812 --> 00:04:24,276 We're gonna be up there for a while. 65 00:04:24,278 --> 00:04:25,077 - I - have everything I need 66 00:04:25,079 --> 00:04:27,046 right here, baby. 67 00:04:27,048 --> 00:04:28,748 Don't need this. 68 00:04:28,750 --> 00:04:31,553 Lip gloss, headset, mud mask. 69 00:04:32,653 --> 00:04:34,990 And a little something for the hot tub. 70 00:04:40,629 --> 00:04:41,360 I'm good. 71 00:04:41,362 --> 00:04:43,766 All right, let's do this. 72 00:04:50,672 --> 00:04:53,109 Did I tell her how cute she looks? 73 00:04:54,709 --> 00:04:58,010 Hey, can I, can I put my keys on you? 74 00:04:58,012 --> 00:04:59,147 Yeah, sure. 75 00:05:28,644 --> 00:05:30,209 I'm glad you swiped right. 76 00:05:30,211 --> 00:05:33,913 It's really hard to find girls that like to free-climb. 77 00:05:33,915 --> 00:05:36,182 What the hell is he talking about? 78 00:05:36,184 --> 00:05:39,084 Oh, my profile. 79 00:05:39,086 --> 00:05:42,087 I thought free-climbing was some sort of sex thing. 80 00:05:42,089 --> 00:05:44,123 Well, when the app asked for what level, 81 00:05:44,125 --> 00:05:46,358 I obviously wrote expert. 82 00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:47,195 Gosh. 83 00:05:53,668 --> 00:05:54,302 Oh. 84 00:05:55,836 --> 00:05:58,103 This is pretty hardcore, even for me. 85 00:05:58,105 --> 00:05:59,973 Wait, is he serious? 86 00:05:59,975 --> 00:06:01,675 I thought we were gonna take some cute selfies 87 00:06:01,677 --> 00:06:02,979 and go back to his place. 88 00:06:04,245 --> 00:06:05,478 We could've started with something simpler, 89 00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:08,216 but I mean, I'm sure at your level this is a piece of cake. 90 00:06:09,283 --> 00:06:10,716 Way to go, Barbs. 91 00:06:10,718 --> 00:06:12,187 You're gonna get yourself killed. 92 00:06:15,790 --> 00:06:17,093 Was that a pterodactyl? 93 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:20,192 OMG, I'm so gonna die. 94 00:06:20,194 --> 00:06:22,394 I mean, anything can happen out there. 95 00:06:22,396 --> 00:06:24,163 I can be eaten by a bear, fall of a cliff, 96 00:06:24,165 --> 00:06:27,302 butt-raped by aliens, dragged away by wolves, anything! 97 00:06:28,202 --> 00:06:29,469 Let's go. 98 00:06:29,471 --> 00:06:31,273 And I just got these shoes. 99 00:06:32,940 --> 00:06:34,810 Ugh, just look at that butt. 100 00:06:36,011 --> 00:06:38,247 He definitely doesn't skip leg day. 101 00:06:41,916 --> 00:06:43,118 Totally worth it. 102 00:06:44,086 --> 00:06:44,920 No sweat. 103 00:06:45,887 --> 00:06:48,154 - I - hope he eats pineapple. 104 00:07:12,980 --> 00:07:16,916 Aw, that's so sweet. 105 00:07:16,918 --> 00:07:18,888 She's going slow and waiting for me. 106 00:07:20,755 --> 00:07:22,357 Aw, he's so sweet. 107 00:07:29,930 --> 00:07:31,865 OMG, it is pineapple! 108 00:07:31,867 --> 00:07:32,701 Mm! 109 00:07:44,379 --> 00:07:45,211 - I - can't wait to invite her 110 00:07:45,213 --> 00:07:46,716 to my mansion in Hawaii. 111 00:07:47,882 --> 00:07:49,149 This isn't so bad, 112 00:07:49,151 --> 00:07:52,317 but I could totally go for a latte right now. 113 00:07:52,319 --> 00:07:54,286 You know, I'm gonna slow down 114 00:07:54,288 --> 00:07:55,855 and let her get ahead of me, 115 00:07:55,857 --> 00:07:57,460 so if she falls I can catch her. 116 00:08:02,062 --> 00:08:04,399 Everything about her is perfect. 117 00:08:06,033 --> 00:08:07,166 I hope there's a Starbucks up there 118 00:08:07,168 --> 00:08:08,002 or something. 119 00:08:12,973 --> 00:08:14,207 - I - can see myself spending 120 00:08:14,209 --> 00:08:16,911 the rest of my life with this girl. 121 00:08:27,055 --> 00:08:30,292 Phew, almost at the top. 122 00:08:34,328 --> 00:08:36,298 Sure hope we're not going down that way. 123 00:08:38,232 --> 00:08:39,067 Whew! 124 00:08:55,115 --> 00:08:55,951 Jake? 125 00:08:57,284 --> 00:08:59,352 There's no signal up here. 126 00:08:59,354 --> 00:09:00,355 Jake? 127 00:09:03,158 --> 00:09:03,993 Jake? 128 00:09:05,427 --> 00:09:06,061 Jake? 129 00:09:08,429 --> 00:09:10,265 What are you doing down there? 130 00:09:25,346 --> 00:09:28,149 Ugh, there's no signal up here! 131 00:09:29,451 --> 00:09:30,286 Ugh. 132 00:09:32,586 --> 00:09:34,887 Maybe there's some signal, 133 00:09:34,889 --> 00:09:37,359 mm, over here. 134 00:09:48,003 --> 00:09:51,403 Whoa! 135 00:09:55,309 --> 00:09:56,144 Jake? 136 00:09:59,648 --> 00:10:00,582 Are you okay? 137 00:10:17,631 --> 00:10:19,065 O! 138 00:10:19,067 --> 00:10:20,400 O! 139 00:10:20,402 --> 00:10:22,100 M! 140 00:10:22,102 --> 00:10:23,502 M! 141 00:10:23,504 --> 00:10:25,037 G! 142 00:10:25,039 --> 00:10:26,204 G! 143 00:10:34,182 --> 00:10:37,215 Did I just kill the hottest guy ever? 144 00:10:37,217 --> 00:10:38,450 I didn't know about the rock. 145 00:10:38,452 --> 00:10:39,986 I mean, I didn't put the rock there. 146 00:10:39,988 --> 00:10:40,954 The rock, who put the rock there? 147 00:10:40,956 --> 00:10:42,454 Like, Mother Nature and stuff. 148 00:10:42,456 --> 00:10:43,289 It's not my fault. 149 00:10:43,291 --> 00:10:44,123 I didn't do it. 150 00:10:44,125 --> 00:10:44,958 It's not me. 151 00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:45,657 I would never do that. 152 00:11:03,544 --> 00:11:05,344 Now I'm totally lost. 153 00:11:05,346 --> 00:11:08,547 No signal, no date, no food, no water. 154 00:11:08,549 --> 00:11:11,953 Didn't see this bag of dicks coming straight at my face. 155 00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:15,354 This is insane! 156 00:11:15,356 --> 00:11:16,555 I can't believe I'm out here. 157 00:11:16,557 --> 00:11:21,297 And the worst part is I can't upload these amazing selfies. 158 00:11:22,697 --> 00:11:26,366 Why don't they put cell towers out here or something? 159 00:11:26,368 --> 00:11:29,401 Ugh, ugh, like, no signal anywhere. 160 00:11:32,639 --> 00:11:34,706 I mean, if you're gonna be banished up here, 161 00:11:34,708 --> 00:11:37,509 you're gonna wind up dead anyway soon, right? 162 00:11:37,511 --> 00:11:38,446 Figures. 163 00:11:42,783 --> 00:11:45,520 I bet all my friends are worried sick about me. 164 00:11:48,490 --> 00:11:49,454 It's not bad. 165 00:11:49,456 --> 00:11:51,456 It could be worse, right? 166 00:11:51,458 --> 00:11:53,661 I mean, like, I'm getting back to nature. 167 00:11:55,397 --> 00:11:57,566 I'm becoming like zen and stuff. 168 00:11:58,799 --> 00:12:02,538 Ugh, my feet are killing me. 169 00:12:04,405 --> 00:12:06,506 Wow, this is a great location for squat videos. 170 00:12:06,508 --> 00:12:08,041 I mean, look at this place. 171 00:12:08,043 --> 00:12:10,479 I can totally make so much content here. 172 00:12:23,591 --> 00:12:24,623 Oh, oh no. 173 00:12:24,625 --> 00:12:25,593 Oh no, oh no, oh no. 174 00:12:26,494 --> 00:12:27,627 Oh god. 175 00:12:27,629 --> 00:12:29,494 I hope there's like some, 176 00:12:29,496 --> 00:12:31,229 some signal up here. 177 00:12:31,231 --> 00:12:32,464 There's no way, oh, no way. 178 00:12:32,466 --> 00:12:35,535 This is, this is not happening to me. 179 00:12:35,537 --> 00:12:38,237 No, this is not happening to me right now. 180 00:12:38,239 --> 00:12:40,772 Come on, signal, come on, come on! 181 00:12:40,774 --> 00:12:43,342 God, oh god, this can't be! 182 00:12:43,344 --> 00:12:45,748 Oh, oh, I'm not, no! 183 00:12:47,315 --> 00:12:48,547 Oh! 184 00:12:48,549 --> 00:12:50,516 Body, you can't do this to me right now! 185 00:12:50,518 --> 00:12:53,419 Oh goodness, oh, oh, oh! 186 00:12:53,421 --> 00:12:54,853 How did the savages do it? 187 00:12:54,855 --> 00:12:56,321 Oh! 188 00:12:56,323 --> 00:12:57,623 I'm not gonna be like a barbarian, 189 00:12:57,625 --> 00:13:00,392 but I don't think I have any choice. 190 00:13:00,394 --> 00:13:01,761 Oh, what am I gonna do? 191 00:13:01,763 --> 00:13:03,728 Toilet paper, mm! 192 00:13:03,730 --> 00:13:04,566 Leaves. 193 00:13:07,402 --> 00:13:10,402 Okay, okay, maybe I could use some of these. 194 00:13:10,404 --> 00:13:11,503 Right here, okay. 195 00:13:11,505 --> 00:13:13,305 Now, now I need to find a spot. 196 00:13:13,307 --> 00:13:14,540 Oh! 197 00:13:14,542 --> 00:13:15,708 I can't wait any longer! 198 00:13:15,710 --> 00:13:17,676 Oh, I need a spot, oh! 199 00:13:17,678 --> 00:13:18,511 What about right here? 200 00:13:18,513 --> 00:13:19,377 Yes, this looks fine. 201 00:13:19,379 --> 00:13:20,412 Okay, all right. 202 00:13:20,414 --> 00:13:21,446 Pants down. 203 00:13:21,448 --> 00:13:22,283 Okay. 204 00:13:35,663 --> 00:13:37,331 Oh, that's so good. 205 00:13:38,732 --> 00:13:39,866 Woo! 206 00:13:39,868 --> 00:13:41,501 Yes. 207 00:13:41,503 --> 00:13:42,435 Woo! 208 00:13:42,437 --> 00:13:44,603 My pants feel looser now! 209 00:13:44,605 --> 00:13:46,707 Oh, I feel so cleansed. 210 00:13:49,576 --> 00:13:51,776 I guess it's not such a bad day after all. 211 00:13:51,778 --> 00:13:53,345 Feel so fresh. 212 00:14:06,260 --> 00:14:09,228 I once saw some TV show about this guy in the woods and junk 213 00:14:09,230 --> 00:14:11,767 and he would just find stuff that would help him survive. 214 00:14:13,768 --> 00:14:15,634 I wish I paid attention to it, 215 00:14:15,636 --> 00:14:17,536 but he was like so hot 216 00:14:17,538 --> 00:14:19,640 and I really didn't understand a word he said. 217 00:14:20,741 --> 00:14:23,344 Hm, I wonder if I could find him out here. 218 00:14:24,445 --> 00:14:25,710 Maybe I could get a ride. 219 00:14:25,712 --> 00:14:28,781 He's always got like a helicopter or something. 220 00:14:28,783 --> 00:14:31,383 Ew, is that a spider? 221 00:14:31,385 --> 00:14:32,618 I hate spiders! 222 00:14:32,620 --> 00:14:35,621 Ugh, this place so needs a cleaning! 223 00:14:35,623 --> 00:14:38,690 Where are the park maids? 224 00:14:38,692 --> 00:14:39,727 Ew! 225 00:14:40,628 --> 00:14:41,727 I hate this place! 226 00:14:41,729 --> 00:14:42,865 I hate nature! 227 00:14:45,832 --> 00:14:47,632 I wonder if this place has bears in it. 228 00:14:47,634 --> 00:14:49,969 I mean, it looks like a bear place, 229 00:14:49,971 --> 00:14:52,872 and if I was a bear, I'd totally hang out here. 230 00:14:52,874 --> 00:14:56,608 Hey, is this where the WeHo Bear Club hangs out? 231 00:14:56,610 --> 00:14:57,877 What the! 232 00:14:57,879 --> 00:15:00,246 You're gonna burn in hell for what you did! 233 00:15:01,916 --> 00:15:04,483 Three years cardio kickboxing! 234 00:15:04,485 --> 00:15:06,719 Whoa, cool your jets, turbo. 235 00:15:06,721 --> 00:15:09,955 I, uh, was looking for someone else. 236 00:15:09,957 --> 00:15:11,459 Gonna need this for later. 237 00:15:15,863 --> 00:15:18,763 You gonna kill some peanut butter sandwiches with that? 238 00:15:18,765 --> 00:15:19,699 I lost my weapon. 239 00:15:19,701 --> 00:15:21,170 I woke up and it was gone, okay? 240 00:15:22,470 --> 00:15:23,672 I'm looking for someone. 241 00:15:24,772 --> 00:15:26,405 Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa, 242 00:15:26,407 --> 00:15:27,706 whoa whoa whoa, I totally found him like that. 243 00:15:27,708 --> 00:15:28,842 He was at the bottom of the hill 244 00:15:28,844 --> 00:15:30,743 and the blood and the rock was already on top of him 245 00:15:30,745 --> 00:15:31,743 and I was totally gonna go down there and help him out, 246 00:15:31,745 --> 00:15:33,411 but you know, I'm wearing high-heel sneakers 247 00:15:33,413 --> 00:15:35,317 - and I can't go down there... - Found who? 248 00:15:38,253 --> 00:15:38,887 Nobody. 249 00:15:40,388 --> 00:15:42,754 Are you the police? 250 00:15:42,756 --> 00:15:44,723 Police. 251 00:15:44,725 --> 00:15:45,824 No. 252 00:15:45,826 --> 00:15:48,794 I'm Homeland Security. 253 00:15:50,697 --> 00:15:51,533 Oh. 254 00:15:52,866 --> 00:15:53,701 Whew. 255 00:16:00,774 --> 00:16:02,608 What happened to your head? 256 00:16:02,610 --> 00:16:03,445 It's nothing. 257 00:16:05,980 --> 00:16:07,382 I'm looking for someone. 258 00:16:11,318 --> 00:16:12,553 Have you seen this woman? 259 00:16:14,355 --> 00:16:18,056 That is the worst selfie I have ever seen. 260 00:16:18,058 --> 00:16:19,758 You need to learn better angles. 261 00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:22,828 You can make yourself look about 10 pounds lighter. 262 00:16:22,830 --> 00:16:23,929 And you need a 263 00:16:32,606 --> 00:16:35,307 filter too because I could totally see pores. 264 00:16:35,309 --> 00:16:36,611 So you haven't seen her? 265 00:16:42,850 --> 00:16:43,884 OMG! 266 00:16:46,721 --> 00:16:48,554 You get cellphone service out here? 267 00:16:48,556 --> 00:16:50,025 Who is your carrier? 268 00:16:54,629 --> 00:16:55,761 Nassau. 269 00:16:55,763 --> 00:16:57,430 Are they good? 270 00:16:57,432 --> 00:16:58,033 Stellar. 271 00:16:58,932 --> 00:17:00,699 Interstellar. 272 00:17:00,701 --> 00:17:03,768 Because I can't get a single bar out here. 273 00:17:03,770 --> 00:17:05,837 Are their roaming rates okay? 274 00:17:05,839 --> 00:17:08,442 Astronomical, but we're subsidized. 275 00:17:09,876 --> 00:17:10,878 Wow. 276 00:17:13,013 --> 00:17:13,848 Excuse me. 277 00:17:20,054 --> 00:17:21,687 - Hm? - Sir. 278 00:17:21,689 --> 00:17:23,355 My sit rep is as follows. 279 00:17:24,392 --> 00:17:26,424 Agent Vicky is still MIA. 280 00:17:27,394 --> 00:17:28,827 The package is recovered. 281 00:17:28,829 --> 00:17:29,795 Mm-hm. 282 00:17:29,797 --> 00:17:31,430 I'm wounded but able. 283 00:17:31,432 --> 00:17:33,399 The situation... 284 00:17:33,401 --> 00:17:34,767 Is FUBAR. 285 00:17:36,837 --> 00:17:38,804 No, no no no no no no. 286 00:17:38,806 --> 00:17:40,905 No, Bogley shot down the transport. 287 00:17:40,907 --> 00:17:43,709 Requesting recovery team. 288 00:17:43,711 --> 00:17:45,611 They are everywhere! 289 00:17:47,914 --> 00:17:49,081 Send in Agent Radcliff. 290 00:17:51,853 --> 00:17:53,020 Roger that, sir. 291 00:17:56,723 --> 00:17:59,158 So I'm not in trouble? 292 00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:00,696 Are you an illegal alien? 293 00:18:01,662 --> 00:18:03,962 Six eyes, tentacles? 294 00:18:03,964 --> 00:18:04,932 I'm from Texas. 295 00:18:05,967 --> 00:18:06,802 Close enough. 296 00:18:10,771 --> 00:18:12,874 I can't believe you get signal out here. 297 00:18:15,942 --> 00:18:18,046 I've been looking for signal for like an hour. 298 00:18:22,450 --> 00:18:23,982 God, I wish I had some water or something. 299 00:18:23,984 --> 00:18:25,985 You sound like you're totally choking. 300 00:18:28,588 --> 00:18:31,990 Oh, do you think if I get higher up the mountain, 301 00:18:31,992 --> 00:18:33,794 like I could get a signal there? 302 00:18:41,701 --> 00:18:42,934 You know what? 303 00:18:42,936 --> 00:18:44,038 Can I borrow your cellphone to... 304 00:18:47,607 --> 00:18:48,809 Hello? 305 00:18:50,010 --> 00:18:51,113 So you haven't seen her? 306 00:18:52,012 --> 00:18:53,746 No! 307 00:18:53,748 --> 00:18:54,915 Creepy much? 308 00:18:56,750 --> 00:18:57,917 Just like I need a, 309 00:18:57,919 --> 00:18:59,884 I need a new phone or something. 310 00:18:59,886 --> 00:19:00,922 This one's terrible. 311 00:19:15,936 --> 00:19:18,536 Hey, do you know how to 312 00:19:18,538 --> 00:19:19,939 get 313 00:19:19,941 --> 00:19:20,942 out of here? 314 00:19:42,663 --> 00:19:45,064 I have like 3.4 million followers. 315 00:19:45,066 --> 00:19:47,900 I have millions of likes, collaborations, sponsorships. 316 00:19:47,902 --> 00:19:49,969 I spend all my time showing people 317 00:19:49,971 --> 00:19:51,906 what a perfect and sexy life I have. 318 00:19:54,709 --> 00:19:57,942 And I have no real friends. 319 00:19:57,944 --> 00:20:00,147 I don't have any real friends. 320 00:20:01,848 --> 00:20:03,915 I don't spend time with anyone. 321 00:20:03,917 --> 00:20:06,554 All my friends are social media friends. 322 00:20:08,189 --> 00:20:10,555 There is literally no one out there 323 00:20:10,557 --> 00:20:11,960 that gives a damn about me. 324 00:20:13,528 --> 00:20:15,227 If I don't upload for a few days, 325 00:20:15,229 --> 00:20:17,028 everyone will forget I even exist, 326 00:20:17,030 --> 00:20:20,099 and there is a new face already poised to take my place. 327 00:20:20,101 --> 00:20:20,932 Uh-huh. 328 00:20:20,934 --> 00:20:22,101 I hate Jessica! 329 00:20:22,103 --> 00:20:23,971 Her makeup is always so on point! 330 00:20:25,205 --> 00:20:27,940 Well, sure she looks like ass in real life 331 00:20:27,942 --> 00:20:29,807 without all her filters. 332 00:20:29,809 --> 00:20:31,276 Totally met her at a meetup, 333 00:20:31,278 --> 00:20:34,013 and I laughed so hard when I saw her. 334 00:20:34,015 --> 00:20:35,116 What a dumb hoe. 335 00:20:36,550 --> 00:20:38,116 She shouldn't show her face in public 336 00:20:38,118 --> 00:20:40,853 when she uses all those tricks to make her skin all flawless 337 00:20:40,855 --> 00:20:44,123 and all those camera angles to make herself look all skinny. 338 00:20:44,125 --> 00:20:46,624 She is a walking lie, 339 00:20:46,626 --> 00:20:49,694 and I can't even post that pic of me and Jake. 340 00:20:49,696 --> 00:20:50,996 R.I.P. 341 00:20:50,998 --> 00:20:52,067 He was so lit. 342 00:20:53,867 --> 00:20:56,735 I am so hungry. 343 00:20:56,737 --> 00:20:58,836 If I don't eat something like soon, 344 00:20:58,838 --> 00:21:01,172 I'll start losing all my booty gains. 345 00:21:01,174 --> 00:21:02,210 Bag of dicks. 346 00:21:05,011 --> 00:21:07,078 Oh, mushrooms. 347 00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:10,748 Non-GMO, gluten-free, and totally organic, right? 348 00:21:10,750 --> 00:21:12,617 I mean, you can't get much fresher 349 00:21:12,619 --> 00:21:14,555 than straight out of the forest, right? 350 00:21:15,789 --> 00:21:17,655 Smells like shiitake. 351 00:21:17,657 --> 00:21:19,792 I, I wish I could look it up. 352 00:21:19,794 --> 00:21:20,662 Dammit! 353 00:21:23,064 --> 00:21:24,997 Well, what if I just try one? 354 00:21:24,999 --> 00:21:27,766 I can always make myself throw up, right? 355 00:21:27,768 --> 00:21:29,267 I'm like great at vomit. 356 00:21:29,269 --> 00:21:30,936 I practiced in high school. 357 00:21:30,938 --> 00:21:33,238 No way Suzie Baker was gonna be thinner than me. 358 00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:34,742 That bitch. 359 00:21:40,914 --> 00:21:43,615 Hm, tastes pretty good. 360 00:21:43,617 --> 00:21:46,384 I'm like so paleo right now. 361 00:21:46,386 --> 00:21:49,057 Just like that raw vegan place I tried last month. 362 00:21:50,857 --> 00:21:54,128 Ugh, I'm like a total savage barbarian right now. 363 00:23:59,286 --> 00:24:00,288 Oh! 364 00:24:02,923 --> 00:24:03,758 A unicorn. 365 00:24:07,361 --> 00:24:09,364 Take me to that rainbow. 366 00:24:55,910 --> 00:24:56,745 Whoa! 367 00:24:57,478 --> 00:24:58,846 Pretty colors! 368 00:25:02,148 --> 00:25:03,815 Get out of the way! 369 00:25:04,984 --> 00:25:06,317 You're gonna get yourself killed! 370 00:25:11,491 --> 00:25:14,826 Do you know how to get to grandma's house? 371 00:25:14,828 --> 00:25:17,395 I don't know where your grandma is. 372 00:25:21,035 --> 00:25:22,066 What's wrong with you? 373 00:25:22,068 --> 00:25:23,403 Did you eat something out here? 374 00:25:26,339 --> 00:25:27,271 Are you hungry? 375 00:25:27,273 --> 00:25:29,042 I have muffins and cookies. 376 00:25:32,212 --> 00:25:33,280 Uh, 377 00:25:34,381 --> 00:25:35,950 I only 378 00:25:38,285 --> 00:25:40,285 eat gluten-free cookies. 379 00:25:40,287 --> 00:25:42,257 Give those to your grandma. 380 00:25:53,366 --> 00:25:54,402 Um... 381 00:25:59,405 --> 00:26:02,540 Hey Mister Wolf, did you see what I just saw? 382 00:26:02,542 --> 00:26:04,343 Was that Little Red Riding Hood? 383 00:26:04,345 --> 00:26:06,311 It sure was, Barbi. 384 00:26:06,313 --> 00:26:08,913 I think that was Little Red Riding Hood. 385 00:26:08,915 --> 00:26:10,349 What do you think? 386 00:26:10,351 --> 00:26:13,317 You're far more delicious though. 387 00:26:48,055 --> 00:26:50,358 Have you seen Agent Mahoney? 388 00:26:52,092 --> 00:26:54,159 Tall, bald, glasses. 389 00:26:54,161 --> 00:26:56,497 The better to see me with! 390 00:27:21,654 --> 00:27:24,259 They must have no vision in the pink spectrum! 391 00:28:23,517 --> 00:28:24,585 They can't see pink. 392 00:28:37,597 --> 00:28:39,597 Sir, I have discovered a fault in their technology. 393 00:28:53,313 --> 00:28:55,380 It can change the course of our whole battle. 394 00:28:56,482 --> 00:28:58,283 Alert Agent Radcliff that the aliens cannot see pink. 395 00:29:03,656 --> 00:29:04,992 Oh, pretty! 396 00:29:23,309 --> 00:29:25,477 Okay, I'm starting to suspect 397 00:29:25,479 --> 00:29:27,312 that those were not gluten-free mushrooms, 398 00:29:27,314 --> 00:29:29,346 because I haven't tripped balls like this 399 00:29:29,348 --> 00:29:31,615 since that weekend freshman year in the Hamptons 400 00:29:31,617 --> 00:29:34,254 when Jessica stole my first serious boyfriend. 401 00:29:35,788 --> 00:29:38,155 What was his name again? 402 00:29:38,157 --> 00:29:41,826 I mean, we were like totally destined to be together. 403 00:29:41,828 --> 00:29:44,228 He was so rough and tough, 404 00:29:44,230 --> 00:29:46,600 just like a hot barbarian. 405 00:29:47,667 --> 00:29:50,469 I would've given him so many followers, 406 00:29:50,471 --> 00:29:53,607 but he chose Jessica and all he got was herpes. 407 00:29:55,308 --> 00:29:57,542 OMG, is that him, 408 00:29:57,544 --> 00:29:58,646 what's-his-nuts? 409 00:29:59,880 --> 00:30:02,546 He looks so much better in a loincloth. 410 00:30:05,685 --> 00:30:07,554 Antibiotics do wonders. 411 00:30:11,657 --> 00:30:13,357 Check out this cute outfit. 412 00:30:13,359 --> 00:30:16,128 I have a sword, armored boobs! 413 00:30:16,130 --> 00:30:17,562 Looking good, Barbi. 414 00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:21,235 Hm. 415 00:30:22,836 --> 00:30:24,603 This looks sharp. 416 00:30:24,605 --> 00:30:27,075 This hallucination is like so lit. 417 00:30:29,343 --> 00:30:30,709 That's right. 418 00:30:30,711 --> 00:30:31,876 Sploosh. 419 00:30:31,878 --> 00:30:34,546 You're gonna need a lot more water to put out this fire. 420 00:30:34,548 --> 00:30:35,646 Mm-hm. 421 00:30:35,648 --> 00:30:38,583 Man, my abs look amazing. 422 00:30:38,585 --> 00:30:39,817 Why did we break up again? 423 00:30:39,819 --> 00:30:41,556 I totally can't remember. 424 00:30:43,656 --> 00:30:45,524 I bet she wants me. 425 00:30:45,526 --> 00:30:46,790 If this gets any hotter, 426 00:30:46,792 --> 00:30:48,692 I'm gonna need a boat. 427 00:30:50,931 --> 00:30:52,697 Check it, uh-huh. 428 00:30:52,699 --> 00:30:54,798 Call that a sword? 429 00:30:54,800 --> 00:30:57,471 I'll call it anything you want. 430 00:31:00,374 --> 00:31:02,175 Wait, what just happened? 431 00:31:03,844 --> 00:31:05,276 BARBARIAN VOICEOVER: Mm, baby! 432 00:31:05,278 --> 00:31:06,311 Wait, what? 433 00:31:08,448 --> 00:31:09,750 Hail to the king. 434 00:31:11,384 --> 00:31:13,621 Well this escalated quickly. 435 00:31:14,887 --> 00:31:16,289 Oh, he's serious. 436 00:31:18,525 --> 00:31:20,659 Maybe he means somebody back there. 437 00:31:20,661 --> 00:31:22,561 Nope, just me. 438 00:31:22,563 --> 00:31:24,962 Well, I didn't get all fantasy dressed up 439 00:31:24,964 --> 00:31:27,231 for nothing, I guess. 440 00:31:27,233 --> 00:31:28,732 And I have this sword, 441 00:31:28,734 --> 00:31:31,505 so my brain must've known something like this would happen. 442 00:31:33,272 --> 00:31:35,574 Gonna make her work for it. 443 00:31:36,542 --> 00:31:38,145 This chick's gonna ruin my pump! 444 00:31:39,546 --> 00:31:41,746 Your pump looks just fine to me. 445 00:31:41,748 --> 00:31:42,846 I could totally take him. 446 00:31:42,848 --> 00:31:44,716 I know what he likes. 447 00:31:45,952 --> 00:31:47,288 She slapped my ass. 448 00:31:49,256 --> 00:31:50,555 I kinda like it. 449 00:31:50,557 --> 00:31:52,657 Oh, we're still doing this. 450 00:31:54,994 --> 00:31:57,629 When did foreplay become so hard? 451 00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:01,932 - I - knew I shouldn't have taken 452 00:32:01,934 --> 00:32:03,735 my pre-workout pill early. 453 00:32:06,006 --> 00:32:06,938 I'm so glad 454 00:32:06,940 --> 00:32:08,506 I've been doing yoga classes. 455 00:32:08,508 --> 00:32:10,741 They really keep me nice and loose. 456 00:32:10,743 --> 00:32:12,244 I can totally hold my own. 457 00:32:12,246 --> 00:32:13,478 I always could. 458 00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:16,648 Not to mention I look amazing with this hand. 459 00:32:16,650 --> 00:32:17,515 - I - wonder if she saw that lion 460 00:32:17,517 --> 00:32:18,949 that I killed last week. 461 00:32:18,951 --> 00:32:19,787 Oh, yeah. 462 00:32:22,588 --> 00:32:23,587 What I love about this fantasy is that 463 00:32:23,589 --> 00:32:27,392 Jessica would never look as good as I do in this. 464 00:32:27,394 --> 00:32:30,527 I mean, have you seen this hotness? 465 00:32:30,529 --> 00:32:32,363 Man, that's a nice loincloth. 466 00:32:32,365 --> 00:32:33,965 I wonder if she's wearing underwear. 467 00:32:33,967 --> 00:32:34,869 Wait, am I? 468 00:32:36,769 --> 00:32:38,036 This barbarian fantasy 469 00:32:38,038 --> 00:32:41,472 is so much better than the light show. 470 00:32:42,808 --> 00:32:43,844 Ha, gotcha! 471 00:32:44,978 --> 00:32:48,712 But that was my favorite sword. 472 00:32:48,714 --> 00:32:49,750 Aw. 473 00:32:50,717 --> 00:32:51,719 I'm sad. 474 00:32:54,721 --> 00:32:56,353 Oh come on! 475 00:32:56,355 --> 00:32:57,788 You're finished already? 476 00:32:57,790 --> 00:32:59,490 But I'm not done yet! 477 00:32:59,492 --> 00:33:00,758 - I - don't wanna fight you anyway. 478 00:33:00,760 --> 00:33:01,626 I can get your sword. 479 00:33:01,628 --> 00:33:02,795 - It's like right there. - Stupid girl. 480 00:33:02,797 --> 00:33:04,662 I'll give you a hand and everything. 481 00:33:04,664 --> 00:33:05,863 I'll go get it for you. 482 00:33:08,701 --> 00:33:09,703 Wait, come back! 483 00:33:10,738 --> 00:33:13,438 Ugh, it's like high school prom all over again 484 00:33:13,440 --> 00:33:15,840 except I'm not fat anymore. 485 00:33:15,842 --> 00:33:19,647 Ugh, things get rough and he goes crying to his mother. 486 00:33:21,647 --> 00:33:24,315 And now it's just me left behind with a rabbit 487 00:33:24,317 --> 00:33:25,552 and no batteries. 488 00:33:27,753 --> 00:33:29,754 Ugh, now I remember the problem. 489 00:33:29,756 --> 00:33:31,488 He's too into himself, 490 00:33:31,490 --> 00:33:33,391 all pump and no go. 491 00:33:33,393 --> 00:33:35,762 Jessica can totally keep him, blech. 492 00:33:36,997 --> 00:33:39,831 All those muscles spending hours at the gym, for what? 493 00:33:39,833 --> 00:33:40,965 And then he dumps me. 494 00:33:40,967 --> 00:33:42,400 Me! 495 00:33:42,402 --> 00:33:44,835 I mean, have you seen how hot I look now? 496 00:33:44,837 --> 00:33:47,404 Most people would hallucinate being a superhero 497 00:33:47,406 --> 00:33:48,640 or a ballerina. 498 00:33:48,642 --> 00:33:50,408 Me, oh no. 499 00:33:50,410 --> 00:33:53,678 What is my subconscious trying to tell me? 500 00:33:53,680 --> 00:33:54,845 Worst 501 00:33:54,847 --> 00:33:56,613 fantasy 502 00:33:56,615 --> 00:33:57,417 ever. 503 00:35:15,594 --> 00:35:16,429 Pretty. 504 00:37:15,114 --> 00:37:18,249 Why'd you pop my balloons? 505 00:37:18,784 --> 00:37:20,587 I'm gonna kill you, bitch! 506 00:37:21,621 --> 00:37:22,320 Oh my god! 507 00:37:22,322 --> 00:37:24,155 Oh my god, oh my god! 508 00:37:25,324 --> 00:37:27,224 This cannot be my life! 509 00:37:27,226 --> 00:37:28,226 A monster, really? 510 00:37:28,228 --> 00:37:29,293 Slow down, bitch! 511 00:37:30,996 --> 00:37:31,963 I'm tired! 512 00:37:31,965 --> 00:37:33,764 Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa! 513 00:37:42,208 --> 00:37:43,874 It's all right. 514 00:37:43,876 --> 00:37:45,208 - You good? - Mm-hm. 515 00:37:45,210 --> 00:37:46,610 We're good. 516 00:37:46,612 --> 00:37:47,244 We're good. 517 00:37:47,246 --> 00:37:49,012 Okay. 518 00:37:49,014 --> 00:37:51,684 Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! 519 00:37:55,121 --> 00:37:57,988 Oh my god, he's swinging an ax at me! 520 00:38:04,197 --> 00:38:06,733 I'm gonna kill you, bitch! 521 00:38:08,001 --> 00:38:09,934 You're such a dead little bitch! 522 00:38:13,106 --> 00:38:14,606 You're such a dead little bitch! 523 00:38:22,148 --> 00:38:24,318 I'm gonna kill you, bitch! 524 00:38:29,088 --> 00:38:30,090 Oh my god! 525 00:38:31,056 --> 00:38:32,724 Oh my god! 526 00:38:32,726 --> 00:38:36,693 Where am I gonna get another balloon out here? 527 00:38:37,963 --> 00:38:38,795 No! 528 00:38:38,797 --> 00:38:40,066 Leave me alone! 529 00:38:44,269 --> 00:38:48,171 Where am I gonna get another balloon out here? 530 00:38:48,173 --> 00:38:51,110 Party supply stores for clowns! 531 00:40:09,188 --> 00:40:10,423 That was crazy. 532 00:40:12,791 --> 00:40:14,157 Say a command. 533 00:40:14,159 --> 00:40:15,827 Call home. 534 00:40:15,829 --> 00:40:18,128 - Hi, honey. - Honey, yeah. 535 00:40:18,130 --> 00:40:20,967 Hey so, I just pulled over to take a quick leak. 536 00:40:22,135 --> 00:40:22,967 Unbelievable. 537 00:40:22,969 --> 00:40:24,135 You wouldn't believe. 538 00:40:24,137 --> 00:40:26,237 There was a chick, a blonde chick, 539 00:40:26,239 --> 00:40:28,139 tripping balls out in the forest, 540 00:40:28,141 --> 00:40:30,340 like losing her freaking mind. 541 00:40:30,342 --> 00:40:33,043 - Drugs? - Yeah yeah, I know, right? 542 00:40:33,045 --> 00:40:33,845 Kids today. 543 00:40:33,847 --> 00:40:36,016 I mean, ugh, kids. 544 00:40:39,284 --> 00:40:41,151 Oh no, why is he chasing me! 545 00:41:19,025 --> 00:41:19,860 Shh! 546 00:41:45,018 --> 00:41:45,818 Ow. 547 00:42:17,951 --> 00:42:18,786 What? 548 00:42:29,461 --> 00:42:30,297 Oh my god! 549 00:42:58,891 --> 00:42:59,590 Yes! 550 00:43:02,094 --> 00:43:02,929 Oh, yes! 551 00:43:04,297 --> 00:43:05,229 Oh! 552 00:44:55,074 --> 00:44:56,610 No no no no no no no! 553 00:44:58,244 --> 00:44:59,079 No! 554 00:45:01,514 --> 00:45:02,516 No! 555 00:45:04,751 --> 00:45:06,119 No, don't die! 556 00:45:09,722 --> 00:45:11,354 Fresh and clean. 557 00:45:11,356 --> 00:45:14,525 Nothing like a morning shower in natural springwater. 558 00:45:14,527 --> 00:45:16,494 Is this what my parents were talking about 559 00:45:16,496 --> 00:45:19,329 when they lived in that hippie commune back in the '80s? 560 00:45:19,331 --> 00:45:22,266 I think they wore like jogging suits or something. 561 00:45:22,268 --> 00:45:24,501 Hm, something feels weird. 562 00:45:24,503 --> 00:45:27,338 Were there way too many minerals in the water? 563 00:45:27,340 --> 00:45:29,305 Maybe I need some lotion or something. 564 00:45:29,307 --> 00:45:30,708 My neck is feeling kinda itchy. 565 00:45:34,447 --> 00:45:35,780 Focus, Barbi. 566 00:45:35,782 --> 00:45:37,584 It's just all in your head. 567 00:45:38,784 --> 00:45:40,284 Maybe I didn't sleep off 568 00:45:40,286 --> 00:45:42,353 all the effects from those mushrooms. 569 00:45:42,355 --> 00:45:45,155 No, I'm definitely feeling something back there. 570 00:45:45,157 --> 00:45:46,456 Where's my mirror? 571 00:45:46,458 --> 00:45:47,493 Let's see. 572 00:45:49,628 --> 00:45:51,628 Are those my pores? 573 00:45:51,630 --> 00:45:52,429 Ugh! 574 00:45:52,431 --> 00:45:54,632 I totally need some new foundation. 575 00:45:54,634 --> 00:45:56,635 Maybe a waterproof one or something. 576 00:45:57,637 --> 00:46:00,374 Better, I mean, not bad for the savage wild. 577 00:46:01,173 --> 00:46:02,440 I wonder where I am. 578 00:46:02,442 --> 00:46:05,075 I've been walking nonstop for hours. 579 00:46:05,077 --> 00:46:06,476 I wish I was tracking my calories. 580 00:46:06,478 --> 00:46:09,548 My calorie burn must be off the charts. 581 00:46:11,650 --> 00:46:13,619 Ugh, what is this freaking itching! 582 00:46:15,521 --> 00:46:17,591 Did I touch some poison ivy or something? 583 00:46:18,590 --> 00:46:20,224 I have a photo shoot next week, 584 00:46:20,226 --> 00:46:21,659 and if I'm still alive, 585 00:46:21,661 --> 00:46:24,494 I can't have a rash I can't cover up with makeup. 586 00:46:24,496 --> 00:46:25,595 Wait, what the hell is this? 587 00:46:25,597 --> 00:46:28,367 Fuzzy, pointy, it's moving. 588 00:46:56,862 --> 00:46:57,696 Spider. 589 00:48:29,755 --> 00:48:31,525 Oh, you're awake. 590 00:48:33,358 --> 00:48:34,193 Yeah. 591 00:48:35,795 --> 00:48:37,795 What happened? 592 00:48:37,797 --> 00:48:38,729 You slipped and fell. 593 00:48:38,731 --> 00:48:40,267 Lucky I was there to catch you. 594 00:48:41,800 --> 00:48:42,967 Wow. 595 00:48:42,969 --> 00:48:44,735 I could've died. 596 00:48:44,737 --> 00:48:46,302 Yeah, I know. 597 00:48:46,304 --> 00:48:48,674 Pretty amazing, right? 598 00:48:54,780 --> 00:48:55,778 Kenny Radcliff, ma'am. 599 00:48:55,780 --> 00:48:56,813 Barbi Radcliff. 600 00:48:56,815 --> 00:48:57,650 I mean, Brennan. 601 00:49:00,518 --> 00:49:02,521 Oh, sorry, I went through your bag. 602 00:49:04,456 --> 00:49:05,722 You were out of water 603 00:49:05,724 --> 00:49:07,758 so I gave you a refill and some food rations. 604 00:49:07,760 --> 00:49:08,958 And a ring. 605 00:49:08,960 --> 00:49:10,394 You mean a ring. 606 00:49:10,396 --> 00:49:13,563 OMG, OMG, OMG, it's really happening! 607 00:49:13,565 --> 00:49:17,700 I'm gonna be the next Mrs. Barbi Kenny Radcliff! 608 00:49:17,702 --> 00:49:20,704 I'm not gonna die alone in my house with 10 cats 609 00:49:20,706 --> 00:49:24,742 who will eat my eyes after I'm dead like my mom said! 610 00:49:24,744 --> 00:49:28,479 It's so beautiful! 611 00:49:28,481 --> 00:49:30,680 I'm gonna get this appraised right away. 612 00:49:30,682 --> 00:49:32,682 What is this, like 100 carats? 613 00:49:32,684 --> 00:49:33,617 I'm so worth it. 614 00:49:37,789 --> 00:49:38,791 My precious! 615 00:49:40,326 --> 00:49:41,827 Take that, Jessica! 616 00:49:42,961 --> 00:49:45,364 Thank you very much. 617 00:49:47,833 --> 00:49:49,400 You should probably stick to the trails. 618 00:49:49,402 --> 00:49:50,034 Trails? 619 00:49:50,036 --> 00:49:51,334 What trails? 620 00:49:51,336 --> 00:49:53,771 I'm totally lost. 621 00:49:53,773 --> 00:49:55,338 In more ways than one. 622 00:49:55,340 --> 00:49:56,572 - Huh? - Oh, nothing. 623 00:49:56,574 --> 00:49:57,710 Are you out here alone? 624 00:50:00,646 --> 00:50:01,481 Sort of. 625 00:50:03,849 --> 00:50:05,548 Well if you hike that way for about a mile and a half, 626 00:50:30,476 --> 00:50:31,641 you'll come across the road. 627 00:50:31,643 --> 00:50:33,043 Sooner or later the ranger will come by and pick you up, 628 00:50:33,045 --> 00:50:33,847 get you home. 629 00:50:36,349 --> 00:50:37,584 Are you coming? 630 00:50:38,784 --> 00:50:39,753 No. 631 00:50:40,920 --> 00:50:42,452 I've got unfinished business. 632 00:50:44,556 --> 00:50:46,825 Oh, so you go that way? 633 00:50:52,731 --> 00:50:53,965 Hello? 634 00:50:53,967 --> 00:50:54,532 I really need to start paying attention 635 00:50:54,534 --> 00:50:56,566 when people talk to me. 636 00:50:56,568 --> 00:50:58,769 It's just so rare that I actually talk to someone 637 00:50:58,771 --> 00:51:00,436 face to face, you know? 638 00:51:00,438 --> 00:51:02,405 It's so much easier to text them. 639 00:51:02,407 --> 00:51:06,709 Hm, maybe my people skills are somehow lacking. 640 00:51:06,711 --> 00:51:08,412 Like, if I listened to Kenny's directions, 641 00:51:08,414 --> 00:51:10,317 maybe I'd already be home by now. 642 00:51:11,784 --> 00:51:14,617 Wait, is that someone there? 643 00:51:14,619 --> 00:51:16,753 Maybe they know where I am. 644 00:51:16,755 --> 00:51:18,021 She looks familiar. 645 00:51:18,023 --> 00:51:20,090 Where have I seen her before? 646 00:51:20,092 --> 00:51:22,025 Does she do hair tutorials? 647 00:51:27,465 --> 00:51:28,932 Help me! 648 00:51:28,934 --> 00:51:30,566 Maybe she knows where to get signals 649 00:51:30,568 --> 00:51:32,771 so I can find Kenny and swipe right. 650 00:51:34,172 --> 00:51:36,740 Excuse me, excuse me. 651 00:51:36,742 --> 00:51:38,708 Do you know how to get out of here? 652 00:51:42,914 --> 00:51:45,985 Oh my god, what is that smell? 653 00:51:48,621 --> 00:51:49,952 Oh, thank god! 654 00:51:49,954 --> 00:51:50,820 Help me! 655 00:51:50,822 --> 00:51:52,188 My arm is crushed! 656 00:51:52,190 --> 00:51:53,792 Hey, are you okay? 657 00:51:54,693 --> 00:51:56,526 Help me, I'm stuck! 658 00:52:04,936 --> 00:52:06,470 What happened? 659 00:52:07,873 --> 00:52:08,671 My arm's crushed, I can't move it! 660 00:52:08,673 --> 00:52:09,807 Oh that looks bad. 661 00:52:09,809 --> 00:52:13,010 Your dry-cleaner is never gonna get that out, honey. 662 00:52:13,012 --> 00:52:14,711 I know, right? 663 00:52:14,713 --> 00:52:15,815 Now can you help me? 664 00:52:19,150 --> 00:52:21,620 What is that stench? 665 00:52:23,922 --> 00:52:27,191 The effervescent scent of the great outdoors. 666 00:52:27,193 --> 00:52:29,927 Hey, were you gonna cut your arm off? 667 00:52:29,929 --> 00:52:31,728 Yeah, duh. 668 00:52:31,730 --> 00:52:32,932 I can't take it anymore! 669 00:52:34,099 --> 00:52:35,766 I know, right? 670 00:52:35,768 --> 00:52:37,836 I would totally kill myself if I had to smell this. 671 00:52:39,737 --> 00:52:40,739 What happened? 672 00:52:42,106 --> 00:52:43,507 I was in a plane crash. 673 00:52:43,509 --> 00:52:44,474 Didn't you see? 674 00:52:44,476 --> 00:52:45,508 What plane crash? 675 00:52:45,510 --> 00:52:46,976 Oh never mind. 676 00:52:46,978 --> 00:52:47,811 A little help here? 677 00:52:47,813 --> 00:52:49,512 Oh, sorry. 678 00:52:54,887 --> 00:52:55,889 What's that? 679 00:52:57,021 --> 00:52:58,588 Uh, nothing. 680 00:52:58,590 --> 00:52:59,523 Don't worry about it. 681 00:52:59,525 --> 00:53:00,657 Get me outta here! 682 00:53:00,659 --> 00:53:01,224 Uh, hold on. 683 00:53:01,226 --> 00:53:02,592 Wait, wait. 684 00:53:05,197 --> 00:53:06,896 Is that a dead body? 685 00:53:10,503 --> 00:53:12,005 You gotta be kidding me. 686 00:53:17,809 --> 00:53:19,008 Ew! 687 00:53:19,010 --> 00:53:20,911 It is a dead body! 688 00:53:20,913 --> 00:53:24,046 Oh, and it looks like someone beat the crap out of it. 689 00:53:24,048 --> 00:53:26,018 What happened to him? 690 00:53:27,585 --> 00:53:29,052 The same thing that'll happen to you 691 00:53:29,054 --> 00:53:32,155 if you don't get me out of here. 692 00:53:32,157 --> 00:53:34,861 You're totally freaking me out right now. 693 00:53:36,061 --> 00:53:38,465 Haven't you ever seen a dead body before? 694 00:53:41,032 --> 00:53:42,768 Recently? 695 00:53:43,902 --> 00:53:45,168 Uh-huh. 696 00:53:45,170 --> 00:53:46,139 Who is this? 697 00:53:47,172 --> 00:53:48,972 I'm gonna die here. 698 00:53:49,807 --> 00:53:50,643 The dead body. 699 00:53:52,945 --> 00:53:54,278 My boss. 700 00:53:54,280 --> 00:53:56,780 Might've had a slight disagreement 701 00:53:56,782 --> 00:53:59,184 over a small financial sum. 702 00:54:00,885 --> 00:54:04,621 Hey, you can't take that, those are state secrets! 703 00:54:11,697 --> 00:54:13,700 No, you can't stop me! 704 00:54:14,733 --> 00:54:15,999 Cut you. 705 00:54:16,001 --> 00:54:16,833 Give me it back. 706 00:54:16,835 --> 00:54:17,668 I'm gonna cut you! 707 00:54:17,670 --> 00:54:18,802 Give me it back! 708 00:54:25,344 --> 00:54:28,345 There was a rock slide, but that came after, 709 00:54:28,347 --> 00:54:29,816 and now I'm here! 710 00:54:32,016 --> 00:54:32,983 Oh. 711 00:54:32,985 --> 00:54:35,084 Okay. Well do you know how to get out of here? 712 00:54:35,086 --> 00:54:36,987 Can you please help me already? 713 00:54:36,989 --> 00:54:38,956 All right already, gosh! 714 00:54:38,958 --> 00:54:41,325 It's all about you, isn't it? 715 00:54:45,998 --> 00:54:48,030 Oh, there's no way I'm gonna move this. 716 00:54:48,032 --> 00:54:49,932 And honey, I'm not cutting your arm off. 717 00:54:49,934 --> 00:54:51,267 That would be way too messy, 718 00:54:51,269 --> 00:54:53,840 and have you seen this outfit that I'm wearing? 719 00:54:54,739 --> 00:54:57,007 Just get that stick over there 720 00:54:57,009 --> 00:55:00,179 and use it like a lever to move the rocks. 721 00:55:02,213 --> 00:55:03,982 Oh! 722 00:55:09,054 --> 00:55:09,889 Will this do? 723 00:55:12,324 --> 00:55:13,927 That's too heavy. 724 00:55:15,193 --> 00:55:18,197 Can you please hurry it up! 725 00:55:19,331 --> 00:55:21,267 All right, all right already, gosh! 726 00:55:33,646 --> 00:55:34,814 That's good. 727 00:55:38,117 --> 00:55:38,952 What the? 728 00:55:43,322 --> 00:55:44,757 Where'd she go? 729 00:55:54,833 --> 00:55:57,733 Why does this keep happening to me? 730 00:55:59,204 --> 00:56:00,239 Oh god. 731 00:56:01,206 --> 00:56:03,175 Why is this always so... 732 00:56:07,378 --> 00:56:09,278 What was that about? 733 00:56:14,018 --> 00:56:15,017 Okay, that was weird. 734 00:56:15,019 --> 00:56:17,987 Hair tutorial girl just vanished into the forest 735 00:56:17,989 --> 00:56:21,124 and now I'm left with a dead farting body. 736 00:56:21,126 --> 00:56:23,126 It looks so familiar. 737 00:56:23,128 --> 00:56:25,896 Meh, probably just my imagination. 738 00:56:25,898 --> 00:56:29,432 What I need to do is center, regroup my thoughts. 739 00:56:29,434 --> 00:56:31,101 I might be seeing things again. 740 00:56:31,103 --> 00:56:35,972 Man, those mushrooms have some gnarly acid flashbacks. 741 00:56:35,974 --> 00:56:38,240 Okay, I need to calm my mind. 742 00:56:38,242 --> 00:56:39,809 I need a zen moment. 743 00:56:39,811 --> 00:56:41,110 I am a woman, 744 00:56:41,112 --> 00:56:42,244 hear me roar. 745 00:56:46,117 --> 00:56:48,485 Okay, that was in my head, right? 746 00:56:48,487 --> 00:56:49,322 Okay. 747 00:56:53,324 --> 00:56:54,891 I am a woman, 748 00:56:54,893 --> 00:56:56,193 hear me roar. 749 00:57:09,173 --> 00:57:11,307 So much for tranquility. 750 00:57:11,309 --> 00:57:13,809 And here I was thinking I could reach nirvana, 751 00:57:13,811 --> 00:57:16,415 like that one time in that hot yoga class I tried. 752 00:57:39,338 --> 00:57:41,007 And now we're all caught up. 753 00:57:44,175 --> 00:57:46,342 I'm getting pretty good at this survival thing. 754 00:57:46,344 --> 00:57:48,845 I just wish I had some pre-workout with me. 755 00:57:48,847 --> 00:57:51,317 Ugh, I miss my Wow Force protein. 756 00:57:53,418 --> 00:57:55,084 But look at me! 757 00:57:55,086 --> 00:57:57,186 I'm getting better at this free-climbing thing. 758 00:57:57,188 --> 00:57:59,356 I'm even starting to enjoy it. 759 00:57:59,358 --> 00:58:00,791 I just wish I brought something 760 00:58:00,793 --> 00:58:02,358 other than high heel sneakers with me, 761 00:58:02,360 --> 00:58:05,327 but then this outfit would not look this cute. 762 00:58:05,329 --> 00:58:07,063 I have this funny feeling 763 00:58:07,065 --> 00:58:09,268 that I might've taken the long way up this mountain. 764 00:58:11,369 --> 00:58:13,172 But maybe there's a signal up there! 765 00:58:15,206 --> 00:58:17,941 There has got to be some signal somewhere 766 00:58:17,943 --> 00:58:20,012 in this nature's bag of dicks. 767 00:58:22,280 --> 00:58:26,182 This fast at cardio is the bomb! 768 00:58:26,184 --> 00:58:29,519 Damn, that was the ultimate burn! 769 00:58:29,521 --> 00:58:32,255 Leg day, smashed! 770 00:58:40,264 --> 00:58:41,998 Oh my god, I can't breathe. 771 00:58:42,000 --> 00:58:43,099 I can't breathe, I can't breathe! 772 00:58:43,101 --> 00:58:44,537 I can't breathe, I can't breathe! 773 00:58:52,610 --> 00:58:54,043 Whew. 774 00:58:54,045 --> 00:58:55,244 Ugh, much better. 775 00:58:55,246 --> 00:58:58,914 I think I've set some of record for wearing a waist trainer. 776 00:58:58,916 --> 00:59:00,383 I need a break. 777 00:59:00,385 --> 00:59:03,089 That mountain was a little rough for my complexion. 778 00:59:04,356 --> 00:59:06,058 I'm either gonna be glowing or 779 00:59:07,391 --> 00:59:09,391 I'm gonna need some industrial strength facials 780 00:59:09,393 --> 00:59:11,228 when I get out of here. 781 00:59:11,230 --> 00:59:12,063 I mean, 782 00:59:15,400 --> 00:59:17,266 I don't think there's any dirt left on the ground. 783 00:59:17,268 --> 00:59:19,936 It's like all in my pores! 784 00:59:19,938 --> 00:59:22,371 Luckily I'm prepared for this. 785 00:59:22,373 --> 00:59:26,175 My Super Mega Pore Suck mud mask should do the trick. 786 00:59:26,177 --> 00:59:27,376 Just need a place to sit down 787 00:59:27,378 --> 00:59:29,112 and do a little spa treatment. 788 00:59:29,114 --> 00:59:32,150 You know, it's all about personal care and hygiene. 789 00:59:44,329 --> 00:59:45,461 Good thing I'm all alone out here. 790 00:59:45,463 --> 00:59:48,632 I mean, if someone sees me like this, I would just... 791 00:59:48,634 --> 00:59:50,599 Die, you faceless form of a space alien! 792 00:59:50,601 --> 00:59:51,403 Whoa, whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa, it's me! 793 00:59:54,472 --> 00:59:55,572 Shit. 794 00:59:55,574 --> 00:59:57,273 Didn't recognize you. 795 00:59:57,275 --> 00:59:58,675 Almost blew your face off. 796 00:59:58,677 --> 01:00:00,413 I'm doing a little spa treatment. 797 01:00:01,579 --> 01:00:03,445 Yeah. Maybe I should blow your face off. 798 01:00:03,447 --> 01:00:05,315 Your pores were looking horrible back there. 799 01:00:05,317 --> 01:00:06,385 I know, right? 800 01:00:08,119 --> 01:00:10,188 It's all about personal care and hygiene. 801 01:00:11,389 --> 01:00:13,623 What the hell are you still doing here anyway? 802 01:00:16,561 --> 01:00:18,662 I told you how to get out of here. 803 01:00:18,664 --> 01:00:20,697 I followed all your directions to the letter 804 01:00:20,699 --> 01:00:23,302 and here I am. 805 01:00:26,371 --> 01:00:28,204 We need to get out of here, now. 806 01:00:28,206 --> 01:00:30,472 What are you thinking, cocktails, dancing? 807 01:00:30,474 --> 01:00:32,374 No, we need ex-fill ASAP. 808 01:00:32,376 --> 01:00:34,043 Are they a band, they new? 809 01:00:34,045 --> 01:00:35,211 Never heard of them. 810 01:00:44,523 --> 01:00:45,423 Oh Jesus. 811 01:00:49,994 --> 01:00:53,431 That's not exactly a hunting rifle you got there. 812 01:00:55,000 --> 01:00:56,168 No, it's not. 813 01:00:57,568 --> 01:01:00,373 You mean you're not hiking or hunting? 814 01:01:01,340 --> 01:01:02,706 Oh, I'm hunting. 815 01:01:02,708 --> 01:01:05,342 I just hope I get it before it gets me. 816 01:01:17,121 --> 01:01:18,054 What the hell, what the hell, 817 01:01:18,056 --> 01:01:18,655 what the hell, what the hell! 818 01:01:18,657 --> 01:01:19,521 I gotta get outta here! 819 01:01:19,523 --> 01:01:21,557 I hate the outdoors! 820 01:01:28,166 --> 01:01:30,499 OMG, what should I do? What do I do, what do I do, 821 01:01:30,501 --> 01:01:32,001 what do I do, what do I do! 822 01:01:32,003 --> 01:01:33,635 He's like an outdoorsy guy. 823 01:01:33,637 --> 01:01:35,037 Wait, should I help him? 824 01:01:35,039 --> 01:01:36,305 Nah, he's fine, he's fine, he's fine. 825 01:01:36,307 --> 01:01:38,141 I think I'm just gonna get in the way. 826 01:01:38,143 --> 01:01:39,641 Yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah. 827 01:01:39,643 --> 01:01:41,443 I'll just text him later. 828 01:01:41,445 --> 01:01:42,280 He got this. 829 01:01:43,280 --> 01:01:44,546 What was that? 830 01:01:44,548 --> 01:01:47,217 That had to be some mutant bear lion octopus. 831 01:01:47,219 --> 01:01:48,751 Six eyes, tentacles. 832 01:01:48,753 --> 01:01:50,720 The water must be totally contaminated 833 01:01:50,722 --> 01:01:52,222 out here or something. 834 01:01:52,224 --> 01:01:53,590 My mother was right, 835 01:01:53,592 --> 01:01:57,559 I am gonna die a lonely spinster! 836 01:01:57,561 --> 01:01:59,662 Well at least my pores are glowing now. 837 01:01:59,664 --> 01:02:00,764 Not that it matters. 838 01:02:04,135 --> 01:02:06,436 Oh look, a cave! 839 01:02:06,438 --> 01:02:10,276 What possible dangers can lurk inside here? 840 01:02:11,443 --> 01:02:14,244 Ugh, it doesn't matter anymore anyway, does it? 841 01:02:14,246 --> 01:02:16,679 I'm alone, again! 842 01:02:16,681 --> 01:02:19,048 Just like my whole life! 843 01:02:19,050 --> 01:02:20,349 I miss my phone! 844 01:02:20,351 --> 01:02:23,586 Just holding it makes me feel better! 845 01:02:23,588 --> 01:02:26,192 I'm severed from the collective! 846 01:02:27,358 --> 01:02:29,458 I'm never gonna find my way out of here, am I? 847 01:02:29,460 --> 01:02:33,530 There will be stories of the lonely crazy lady 848 01:02:33,532 --> 01:02:36,166 who lives up in the cave in the mountains. 849 01:02:36,168 --> 01:02:38,637 It'll be used to scare children at night. 850 01:02:39,771 --> 01:02:41,438 I'll just stop shaving, plucking, 851 01:02:41,440 --> 01:02:43,572 and just let everything go. 852 01:02:43,574 --> 01:02:45,374 I'll eat pasta, doughnuts, pizza, 853 01:02:45,376 --> 01:02:48,344 stop doing squats and let my abs get all flabby. 854 01:02:48,346 --> 01:02:51,347 I mean, who do I need to look good for? 855 01:02:51,349 --> 01:02:55,217 My whole love life has just been a mess. 856 01:02:55,219 --> 01:02:57,720 All I wanted was to find a nice guy, 857 01:02:57,722 --> 01:03:00,090 someone who will love me. 858 01:03:00,092 --> 01:03:02,325 But who is the real me? 859 01:03:02,327 --> 01:03:04,526 I'm not exactly a good person. 860 01:03:04,528 --> 01:03:07,697 I mean, I just left that guy to die. 861 01:03:07,699 --> 01:03:09,432 He was out there screaming, 862 01:03:09,434 --> 01:03:12,302 and I just kinda ran away, 863 01:03:12,304 --> 01:03:13,769 not to mention poor Jake. 864 01:03:13,771 --> 01:03:18,240 I have like the worst luck ever. 865 01:03:18,242 --> 01:03:19,441 Now that I've seen more of the world, 866 01:03:19,443 --> 01:03:23,213 I guess it's not so important to have a million followers. 867 01:03:23,215 --> 01:03:26,715 Kenny's probably some special forces black ops guy 868 01:03:26,717 --> 01:03:30,286 who doesn't even have a real identity, like my dad. 869 01:03:30,288 --> 01:03:33,690 He's not even online and he's still hot. 870 01:03:33,692 --> 01:03:36,592 Hot guys without social media? 871 01:03:36,594 --> 01:03:38,561 Is that even possible? 872 01:03:38,563 --> 01:03:40,229 Poor Kenny and Jake. 873 01:03:40,231 --> 01:03:45,237 OMG, does this make me like a black widow? 874 01:03:45,603 --> 01:03:46,635 R.I.P. 875 01:03:46,637 --> 01:03:48,306 They were so lit. 876 01:03:58,817 --> 01:04:00,916 Huh? 877 01:04:00,918 --> 01:04:03,588 Ah, it was a dream. 878 01:04:04,789 --> 01:04:05,621 Ugh. 879 01:04:05,623 --> 01:04:07,492 Oh, thank goodness. 880 01:04:13,498 --> 01:04:16,501 Oh, hello room, I've missed you. 881 01:04:24,576 --> 01:04:25,510 Still got it. 882 01:04:28,445 --> 01:04:29,280 Mm! 883 01:05:41,552 --> 01:05:42,387 Hello? 884 01:05:43,922 --> 01:05:46,692 Hello, daughter of the universe. 885 01:05:48,693 --> 01:05:50,760 My mom's name is Diane. 886 01:05:50,762 --> 01:05:53,662 We are all children of the universe. 887 01:05:53,664 --> 01:05:55,632 No need to worry. 888 01:05:55,634 --> 01:05:57,700 Nothing happens randomly. 889 01:05:57,702 --> 01:06:00,773 There is a divine path to everything. 890 01:06:01,639 --> 01:06:03,576 We are all but stardust. 891 01:06:04,708 --> 01:06:05,842 Uh-huh. 892 01:06:05,844 --> 01:06:07,709 The paths you have chosen 893 01:06:07,711 --> 01:06:10,849 and the decisions you've made led you here. 894 01:06:12,916 --> 01:06:14,483 Uh-huh. 895 01:06:14,485 --> 01:06:15,952 And what have you learned so far 896 01:06:15,954 --> 01:06:17,590 from your journey, my child? 897 01:06:18,789 --> 01:06:21,490 Not to wear high-heeled sneakers while hiking. 898 01:06:21,492 --> 01:06:23,760 Well, that's a start. 899 01:06:23,762 --> 01:06:25,864 But what have you learned with your heart? 900 01:06:27,331 --> 01:06:29,532 Not to lie on my dating profile. 901 01:06:29,534 --> 01:06:31,034 Closer. 902 01:06:31,036 --> 01:06:33,735 Think beyond here. 903 01:06:33,737 --> 01:06:34,936 I don't know. 904 01:06:34,938 --> 01:06:37,407 I've seen some ratchet shit out there. 905 01:06:37,409 --> 01:06:39,309 You have questions. 906 01:06:39,311 --> 01:06:41,043 Yeah, how do I get out of here? 907 01:06:41,045 --> 01:06:43,313 Excellent question. 908 01:06:43,315 --> 01:06:45,315 The body is just a mortal coil 909 01:06:45,317 --> 01:06:46,916 that we're all trapped in. 910 01:06:46,918 --> 01:06:48,583 But if you free your mind, 911 01:06:48,585 --> 01:06:52,487 it will flow with the energy of the universe. 912 01:06:52,489 --> 01:06:54,624 I can teach you ancient techniques. 913 01:06:54,626 --> 01:06:57,927 No, no, I mean how do I get out of here? 914 01:06:57,929 --> 01:07:01,331 Oh, oh, do you get bars in here? 915 01:07:01,333 --> 01:07:02,465 No. 916 01:07:02,467 --> 01:07:05,001 Ask yourself deeper questions. 917 01:07:05,003 --> 01:07:08,804 Oh, you mean like meaningful questions. 918 01:07:08,806 --> 01:07:10,572 Yes, exactly. 919 01:07:10,574 --> 01:07:11,807 Ask, my child. 920 01:07:17,548 --> 01:07:18,947 How is Jessica getting all her followers? 921 01:07:18,949 --> 01:07:20,852 She's buying her likes, isn't she? 922 01:07:21,686 --> 01:07:22,688 Oh my god. 923 01:07:23,554 --> 01:07:24,389 Is she real? 924 01:07:29,827 --> 01:07:30,896 Let me tell you a secret. 925 01:07:32,097 --> 01:07:34,630 The ultimate answer you're looking for, 926 01:07:34,632 --> 01:07:36,365 it will end your search 927 01:07:36,367 --> 01:07:39,034 and will take you to a new level of consciousness. 928 01:07:39,036 --> 01:07:41,970 Space time will come together, and your 929 01:07:41,972 --> 01:07:43,873 - questions will be answered. - Huh? 930 01:07:43,875 --> 01:07:46,909 For example, when the ancient gods came down 931 01:07:46,911 --> 01:07:48,443 in their flying chariots 932 01:07:48,445 --> 01:07:50,815 and seeded mankind with their DNA, 933 01:07:51,715 --> 01:07:53,715 the aliens never left. 934 01:07:53,717 --> 01:07:54,717 They're still here. 935 01:07:54,719 --> 01:07:57,753 Touchy-feely Chuck, Bob, and Steve tried to help, 936 01:07:57,755 --> 01:07:59,822 but accidentally caused the disco era 937 01:07:59,824 --> 01:08:01,557 and the porn industry. 938 01:08:01,559 --> 01:08:02,992 Then there are the lizard people. 939 01:08:02,994 --> 01:08:04,693 Total assholes! 940 01:08:04,695 --> 01:08:07,764 Homeland Security was founded to keep them in check. 941 01:08:07,766 --> 01:08:09,097 They created the internet 942 01:08:09,099 --> 01:08:11,867 to distract the people from what's really going on. 943 01:08:11,869 --> 01:08:13,168 And that is the secret wisdom 944 01:08:13,170 --> 01:08:16,406 that only a few chosen have ever been given. 945 01:08:16,408 --> 01:08:20,009 The knowledge will alter the very fabric of the universe 946 01:08:20,011 --> 01:08:22,915 and free your mind of enslavement. 947 01:08:24,849 --> 01:08:27,619 Yeah, I'm gonna go now. 948 01:08:29,887 --> 01:08:31,720 What a weirdo. 949 01:08:31,722 --> 01:08:32,757 What, really? 950 01:08:34,993 --> 01:08:37,930 Looks like I picked the wrong day to stop sniffing glue. 951 01:08:51,141 --> 01:08:53,942 Oh my god, what is wrong with me? 952 01:08:53,944 --> 01:08:56,044 Why am I such a perv? 953 01:08:56,046 --> 01:08:58,848 That guy had super important junk to say. 954 01:08:58,850 --> 01:09:00,183 Do I need help? 955 01:09:27,011 --> 01:09:29,148 O.M.G. 956 01:09:30,113 --> 01:09:32,882 - Barbi? - Jessica? 957 01:09:32,884 --> 01:09:34,683 What are you doing here? 958 01:09:34,685 --> 01:09:36,721 I didn't know you hiked these trails. 959 01:09:39,957 --> 01:09:41,492 Are you totally copying me? 960 01:09:42,493 --> 01:09:44,028 Wait a minute, what trails? 961 01:09:45,162 --> 01:09:47,899 The trail that's like 10 feet that way. 962 01:09:53,971 --> 01:09:54,806 What? 963 01:09:56,908 --> 01:09:58,540 I come here every day. 964 01:09:58,542 --> 01:10:01,045 How do you think I get those inspirational selfies? 965 01:10:02,012 --> 01:10:03,211 You get those here? 966 01:10:03,213 --> 01:10:05,647 Yeah. 967 01:10:05,649 --> 01:10:06,484 Bag of dicks. 968 01:10:11,823 --> 01:10:12,758 Wow. 969 01:10:14,759 --> 01:10:15,894 You're wearing that? 970 01:10:17,929 --> 01:10:19,096 Brave choice. 971 01:10:21,832 --> 01:10:23,866 So, where have you been? 972 01:10:23,868 --> 01:10:26,001 You haven't like uploaded in like two days. 973 01:10:26,003 --> 01:10:27,472 People think you're dead. 974 01:10:28,206 --> 01:10:29,906 Yeah. 975 01:10:29,908 --> 01:10:32,642 There's like Where's Barbi memes all over the web. 976 01:10:32,644 --> 01:10:33,545 Really? 977 01:10:34,811 --> 01:10:35,780 I was here. 978 01:10:36,914 --> 01:10:37,746 Here? 979 01:10:37,748 --> 01:10:39,714 Like here? 980 01:10:39,716 --> 01:10:40,916 For two days? 981 01:10:40,918 --> 01:10:43,085 Yeah, I was totally lost. 982 01:10:43,087 --> 01:10:44,920 No way! 983 01:10:44,922 --> 01:10:46,856 Shut up, shut up! 984 01:10:48,326 --> 01:10:50,229 You were here, lost for two days? 985 01:10:51,895 --> 01:10:53,130 What about the internets? 986 01:10:55,065 --> 01:10:57,066 Well, I had no signal, 987 01:10:57,068 --> 01:10:59,037 and then naturally, my cellphone died. 988 01:11:02,774 --> 01:11:04,109 You poor thing. 989 01:11:05,643 --> 01:11:06,976 But thanks. 990 01:11:06,978 --> 01:11:08,009 Now that you're gone, 991 01:11:08,011 --> 01:11:09,210 everyone has dropped your feed, 992 01:11:09,212 --> 01:11:12,682 and I'm the number one new selfie queen. 993 01:11:12,684 --> 01:11:13,819 You snooze you lose. 994 01:11:15,587 --> 01:11:17,085 Bitch! 995 01:11:17,087 --> 01:11:19,955 I totally knew that you were stealing my followers 996 01:11:19,957 --> 01:11:21,592 and paying for subscribers. 997 01:11:22,292 --> 01:11:23,127 Whatever. 998 01:11:24,796 --> 01:11:27,298 I just have so many companies wanting to do collabs with me. 999 01:11:28,966 --> 01:11:31,701 I'm making so much money. 1000 01:11:31,703 --> 01:11:34,740 Good luck making a comeback. 1001 01:11:35,840 --> 01:11:37,106 At least my followers were real. 1002 01:11:37,108 --> 01:11:40,311 Aw, you're just a sore loser. 1003 01:11:42,113 --> 01:11:43,148 And by the way, 1004 01:11:44,881 --> 01:11:47,152 you look like you haven't been doing your squats. 1005 01:11:48,286 --> 01:11:49,820 Your ass is looking flat. 1006 01:11:57,862 --> 01:11:59,331 Jesus, Barbi. 1007 01:12:00,731 --> 01:12:02,768 You get lost in the woods for two days 1008 01:12:03,835 --> 01:12:06,203 and you just let everything go. 1009 01:12:07,104 --> 01:12:08,670 Ugh! 1010 01:12:10,841 --> 01:12:11,674 Burn! 1011 01:12:15,313 --> 01:12:16,213 It burns! 1012 01:12:18,149 --> 01:12:19,184 Burn. 1013 01:12:20,184 --> 01:12:21,052 Yeah, burn. 1014 01:12:22,052 --> 01:12:23,087 Tss! 1015 01:12:24,189 --> 01:12:26,222 Too bad you didn't have that burn to keep you warm 1016 01:12:26,224 --> 01:12:28,260 when you slept here for the past two nights. 1017 01:12:29,159 --> 01:12:32,093 Throwing some bad shade, girl. 1018 01:12:32,095 --> 01:12:33,664 Here's more. 1019 01:12:35,733 --> 01:12:37,269 Are you wearing your waist trainer? 1020 01:12:40,238 --> 01:12:41,707 Mm, no. 1021 01:12:42,673 --> 01:12:43,841 You should be. 1022 01:12:44,908 --> 01:12:47,175 You're looking a little soft. 1023 01:12:47,177 --> 01:12:49,178 Have you been skipping ab day too? 1024 01:12:49,180 --> 01:12:51,080 - I was... - Oh well. 1025 01:12:51,082 --> 01:12:52,150 Good luck. 1026 01:12:53,317 --> 01:12:56,152 I still can't believe you got lost out here for two days. 1027 01:12:56,154 --> 01:13:01,093 There are like trails everywhere. 1028 01:13:02,159 --> 01:13:03,759 You're such a basic, Barbi. 1029 01:13:03,761 --> 01:13:06,227 Laters! 1030 01:13:06,229 --> 01:13:08,196 Oh my god, guys, guess what? 1031 01:13:08,198 --> 01:13:10,331 I totally just ran into this homeless girl. 1032 01:13:10,333 --> 01:13:11,802 Look at her, right there. 1033 01:13:14,404 --> 01:13:17,039 She tried to mug me! 1034 01:13:17,041 --> 01:13:18,342 Like what the eff? 1035 01:13:19,210 --> 01:13:21,009 Hash tag real life. 1036 01:13:21,011 --> 01:13:22,244 I'm not kidding, people. 1037 01:13:22,246 --> 01:13:25,947 Like this happened, right here, right now. 1038 01:13:30,320 --> 01:13:31,657 What the heck? 1039 01:13:33,123 --> 01:13:35,991 I don't even have like a, a knife on me or anything, 1040 01:13:35,993 --> 01:13:37,125 I don't. 1041 01:13:37,127 --> 01:13:39,294 Oh my god, she's looking frantic. 1042 01:13:39,296 --> 01:13:40,995 I mean, look at her, she's in a pink jacket. 1043 01:13:40,997 --> 01:13:42,764 Like, I don't even know what she's doing out here. 1044 01:13:42,766 --> 01:13:44,900 - Bag of dicks! - She tried to steal from me. 1045 01:13:44,902 --> 01:13:46,201 Like, what? 1046 01:13:46,203 --> 01:13:47,303 Wait. 1047 01:13:47,305 --> 01:13:48,336 Where's that trail? 1048 01:13:48,338 --> 01:13:49,772 It was right there. 1049 01:13:49,774 --> 01:13:51,005 She pointed to it and everything. 1050 01:13:51,007 --> 01:13:52,141 Where did it go? 1051 01:13:52,143 --> 01:13:53,209 I'm gonna die out here, I swear. 1052 01:13:53,211 --> 01:13:55,410 I'm totally gonna die out here. 1053 01:13:55,412 --> 01:13:57,248 How is this possible? 1054 01:13:58,448 --> 01:13:59,882 What? 1055 01:13:59,884 --> 01:14:02,151 Well, that's it, 1056 01:14:02,153 --> 01:14:04,152 I'm officially a has-been. 1057 01:14:04,154 --> 01:14:05,187 Dead to the world. 1058 01:14:05,189 --> 01:14:06,354 She's won. 1059 01:14:06,356 --> 01:14:08,089 I'm done, it's over. 1060 01:14:08,091 --> 01:14:11,195 Jessica has finally got what she wanted and replaced me. 1061 01:14:12,363 --> 01:14:14,196 I might as well go back to the cave 1062 01:14:14,198 --> 01:14:18,067 and party with Red Riding Hood and hair tutorial girl. 1063 01:14:18,069 --> 01:14:19,367 I'll marry butter knife guy 1064 01:14:19,369 --> 01:14:22,905 and we'll have little cave-dwelling monks together. 1065 01:14:22,907 --> 01:14:26,275 Maybe we'll get a reality show! 1066 01:14:26,277 --> 01:14:27,345 The Brennans! 1067 01:14:29,980 --> 01:14:32,348 Hey, is that Kenny? 1068 01:14:32,350 --> 01:14:34,183 He's still alive? 1069 01:14:34,185 --> 01:14:36,922 Does that mean I'm not a black widow? 1070 01:14:39,122 --> 01:14:40,958 Oh hey, you again. 1071 01:14:41,993 --> 01:14:43,491 Are you okay? 1072 01:14:43,493 --> 01:14:44,326 It's dangerous. 1073 01:14:44,328 --> 01:14:46,361 You need to leave, now! 1074 01:14:46,363 --> 01:14:47,396 Obviously. 1075 01:14:47,398 --> 01:14:49,397 What the hell is going on? 1076 01:14:49,399 --> 01:14:52,269 Every time I see you it's some new shit. 1077 01:14:53,436 --> 01:14:55,271 That looks disgusting. 1078 01:14:55,273 --> 01:14:57,071 What happened to your leg! 1079 01:14:57,073 --> 01:14:58,473 It's classified. 1080 01:14:58,475 --> 01:15:01,378 I could tell you, but I'd have to kill you. 1081 01:15:02,445 --> 01:15:05,050 Which at this point might not be a bad idea. 1082 01:15:06,184 --> 01:15:08,353 Ugh, doesn't matter, I'm already dead. 1083 01:15:13,256 --> 01:15:13,890 Fine. 1084 01:15:17,228 --> 01:15:18,896 I work for a government agency 1085 01:15:20,064 --> 01:15:22,164 that deals with extraterrestrial allies. 1086 01:15:22,166 --> 01:15:25,267 Oh, you mean those three little gray guys in the forest? 1087 01:15:25,269 --> 01:15:27,405 I thought I was totally tripping balls. 1088 01:15:28,305 --> 01:15:30,107 You met Chuck, Bob, and Steve? 1089 01:15:31,108 --> 01:15:32,377 I think so, maybe. 1090 01:15:34,311 --> 01:15:35,814 Does it hurt when you sit? 1091 01:15:38,882 --> 01:15:40,249 A little. 1092 01:15:40,251 --> 01:15:41,951 Yeah. 1093 01:15:41,953 --> 01:15:44,320 I think back on their planet that means you're married. 1094 01:15:44,322 --> 01:15:45,321 Oh, ew! 1095 01:15:45,323 --> 01:15:46,358 No way! 1096 01:15:47,390 --> 01:15:48,424 Ugh! 1097 01:15:48,426 --> 01:15:49,392 Wait, hold on a second, 1098 01:15:49,394 --> 01:15:51,496 if they're friendly, why are you fighting them? 1099 01:15:52,430 --> 01:15:54,566 No, I'm not fighting them. 1100 01:15:55,867 --> 01:15:57,132 Chuck, Bob, and Steve are great guys. 1101 01:15:57,134 --> 01:15:59,971 A little touchy-feely, but still great guys. 1102 01:16:01,305 --> 01:16:02,638 I'm fighting the other guys. 1103 01:16:02,640 --> 01:16:04,138 What other guys? 1104 01:16:04,140 --> 01:16:06,474 The eat your face off acid for blood 1105 01:16:06,476 --> 01:16:09,010 world domination ones. 1106 01:16:09,012 --> 01:16:11,647 Look, there's a lot of shit going on here, 1107 01:16:11,649 --> 01:16:14,049 but I don't have time to tell you all that right now. 1108 01:16:14,051 --> 01:16:14,953 Uh, yeah. 1109 01:17:42,372 --> 01:17:43,705 Wait! 1110 01:17:43,707 --> 01:17:46,174 What am I doing? 1111 01:17:46,176 --> 01:17:48,343 I can't just leave him again! 1112 01:17:48,345 --> 01:17:50,345 He's saved my ass like three times already! 1113 01:17:50,347 --> 01:17:53,014 This might be the perfect opportunity 1114 01:17:53,016 --> 01:17:55,750 for me to actually do something good! 1115 01:17:55,752 --> 01:17:58,486 It's not like I have anything else to live for. 1116 01:17:58,488 --> 01:18:02,023 I have to change my goals from taking the best selfies 1117 01:18:02,025 --> 01:18:05,561 to making the world a better place! 1118 01:18:05,563 --> 01:18:06,795 From this day forth, 1119 01:18:06,797 --> 01:18:10,665 I'll never again take a box of doughnuts to Weight Watchers! 1120 01:18:10,667 --> 01:18:15,103 I'll never watch another house full of kittens burn down! 1121 01:18:15,105 --> 01:18:19,040 I will never again sell Ziploc bags full of corn syrup 1122 01:18:19,042 --> 01:18:22,044 as breast implants to cancer survivors on the Dark Web. 1123 01:18:22,046 --> 01:18:25,580 I will never again donate my parents' used sex toys 1124 01:18:25,582 --> 01:18:26,549 to children's charity. 1125 01:18:26,551 --> 01:18:30,419 I will never again sell orphans into slavery! 1126 01:18:30,421 --> 01:18:35,190 I will never again set the homeless on fire just for lulz! 1127 01:18:35,192 --> 01:18:37,659 I will not sit by and watch another old lady 1128 01:18:37,661 --> 01:18:40,396 get dragged off by coyotes. 1129 01:18:40,398 --> 01:18:41,263 Never again! 1130 01:18:41,265 --> 01:18:45,233 And I will never, ever eat anything 1131 01:18:45,235 --> 01:18:48,238 that doesn't say gluten-free! 1132 01:18:49,606 --> 01:18:51,542 If only I had my eyes open. 1133 01:18:53,377 --> 01:18:55,811 Not always staring at my phone! 1134 01:18:55,813 --> 01:18:57,548 Paid more attention! 1135 01:18:59,550 --> 01:19:01,019 What am I missing? 1136 01:20:16,527 --> 01:20:18,427 There is so much more to this world 1137 01:20:18,429 --> 01:20:20,696 than what I see on that tiny screen. 1138 01:20:20,698 --> 01:20:24,833 I'm gonna make amends for all the things I did wrong. 1139 01:20:24,835 --> 01:20:29,771 Somehow, I will take responsibility for my actions. 1140 01:20:29,773 --> 01:20:33,775 I will make the world a better place. 1141 01:20:33,777 --> 01:20:36,245 It's time for me 1142 01:20:36,247 --> 01:20:40,685 to finally grab that bag of dicks by the balls. 1143 01:20:42,886 --> 01:20:46,757 And I start now! 1144 01:22:40,470 --> 01:22:41,504 Are you okay? 1145 01:22:41,506 --> 01:22:43,972 My leg's pointed in three different directions. 1146 01:22:43,974 --> 01:22:47,375 I wish that beam put me together a little bit straighter. 1147 01:22:48,945 --> 01:22:49,777 Ow! 1148 01:22:49,779 --> 01:22:51,780 Oh, easy kid. 1149 01:22:51,782 --> 01:22:53,348 Where'd you learn to shoot like that? 1150 01:22:53,350 --> 01:22:54,883 I'm from Texas. 1151 01:22:54,885 --> 01:22:56,351 My dad was a Marine, 1152 01:22:56,353 --> 01:22:58,655 and my granny has a bigger gun than yours. 1153 01:23:01,625 --> 01:23:02,560 This is gonna hurt. 1154 01:23:03,460 --> 01:23:04,761 Are you sure you know what you're doing? 1155 01:23:05,695 --> 01:23:06,530 Um, nah. 1156 01:23:11,801 --> 01:23:12,836 Thanks. 1157 01:23:13,871 --> 01:23:14,706 Looks ratchet. 1158 01:23:20,310 --> 01:23:21,742 What the hell are you doing? 1159 01:23:21,744 --> 01:23:22,980 Taking off a waist trainer. 1160 01:23:24,414 --> 01:23:25,046 What the hell are you gonna do with that? 1161 01:23:25,048 --> 01:23:26,548 Won't fit my waist. 1162 01:23:29,520 --> 01:23:31,018 It's steel-boned. 1163 01:23:31,020 --> 01:23:32,823 Oh you've gotta be kidding me. 1164 01:23:35,693 --> 01:23:36,761 I am not kidding you. 1165 01:23:38,561 --> 01:23:39,831 Pink is not my color. 1166 01:23:40,797 --> 01:23:42,399 It's gonna have to work for now. 1167 01:23:43,600 --> 01:23:45,567 There was a girl in a suit in the forest 1168 01:23:45,569 --> 01:23:46,735 stuck under a rock. 1169 01:23:46,737 --> 01:23:48,736 Do you know what happened to her? 1170 01:23:48,738 --> 01:23:51,339 Um, yeah, it's kinda messy. 1171 01:23:51,341 --> 01:23:54,843 Um, rogue double agent, Homeland Security, 1172 01:23:54,845 --> 01:23:56,581 stole something very valuable. 1173 01:23:57,747 --> 01:23:59,783 You haven't seen a briefcase around here, have you? 1174 01:24:08,524 --> 01:24:10,058 You mean this? 1175 01:24:10,060 --> 01:24:14,830 Um, yeah, that's, uh, 1176 01:24:14,832 --> 01:24:16,301 that's definitely it. 1177 01:24:19,536 --> 01:24:20,468 Thanks. 1178 01:24:20,470 --> 01:24:22,906 Um, this looks pretty good. 1179 01:24:24,440 --> 01:24:25,473 Can you move? 1180 01:24:25,475 --> 01:24:26,907 Yeah, I can move. 1181 01:24:26,909 --> 01:24:28,712 I can't dance, but I can move. 1182 01:24:34,451 --> 01:24:37,552 You know, you're pretty good at this. 1183 01:24:37,554 --> 01:24:39,856 You ever considered a career in government work? 1184 01:24:40,858 --> 01:24:42,089 Could use someone with your skills, 1185 01:24:42,091 --> 01:24:44,459 but you'd have to leave your old life behind. 1186 01:24:44,461 --> 01:24:47,629 Well, I've been offline for two days, 1187 01:24:47,631 --> 01:24:49,830 so everybody already thinks I'm dead. 1188 01:24:49,832 --> 01:24:53,603 We can give you a cool code name like, uh, 1189 01:24:54,637 --> 01:24:55,472 Ronan. 1190 01:24:56,739 --> 01:24:59,107 Oh, samurai with no master. 1191 01:24:59,109 --> 01:24:59,944 I like it. 1192 01:25:01,043 --> 01:25:02,510 Oh that's actually just the name 1193 01:25:02,512 --> 01:25:03,512 of my favorite sushi joint down in Soho, 1194 01:25:03,514 --> 01:25:05,513 but I like what you said too. 1195 01:25:05,515 --> 01:25:07,782 Hey, Chuck, Bob, and Steve, 1196 01:25:07,784 --> 01:25:10,619 why aren't they helping you fight the bad guys? 1197 01:25:10,621 --> 01:25:12,954 No, those guys are lovers, not fighters, 1198 01:25:12,956 --> 01:25:14,923 but they make great tech. 1199 01:25:14,925 --> 01:25:15,827 Here, hold this. 1200 01:25:22,666 --> 01:25:25,700 Yeah, need immediate extraction. 1201 01:25:25,702 --> 01:25:27,602 You talk to your MP3 player? 1202 01:25:39,649 --> 01:25:42,652 You know, you're, you're kinda cute. 1203 01:25:44,020 --> 01:25:45,456 Welcome to your new life. 1204 01:25:47,190 --> 01:25:48,024 Take us up. 1205 01:26:28,798 --> 01:26:30,534 Hey, hey, there's my car! 1206 01:26:32,735 --> 01:26:34,201 No no no, you guys can just drop me off here. 1207 01:26:38,708 --> 01:26:40,541 Thanks! 1208 01:26:40,543 --> 01:26:43,644 Wow, not bad for a long weekend. 1209 01:26:43,646 --> 01:26:46,180 Three husbands, and Kenny's kinda cute. 1210 01:26:46,182 --> 01:26:49,217 I'm sure Chuck, Bob, and Steve are gonna be totally chill 1211 01:26:49,219 --> 01:26:51,018 with me seeing other people. 1212 01:26:51,020 --> 01:26:52,987 If it's outside the solar system, 1213 01:26:52,989 --> 01:26:55,723 it probably doesn't count, right? 1214 01:26:55,725 --> 01:26:57,925 So much for being a spinster. 1215 01:26:57,927 --> 01:27:00,965 I can't wait to go home and take a nice shower. 1216 01:27:01,965 --> 01:27:02,863 Oh, wait. 1217 01:27:02,865 --> 01:27:05,032 I need my keys, duh. 1218 01:27:05,034 --> 01:27:06,601 Where did I put those? 1219 01:27:06,603 --> 01:27:08,669 Gotta be in here somewhere. 1220 01:27:08,671 --> 01:27:09,940 I left them right here. 1221 01:27:12,074 --> 01:27:13,043 I left them right here. 1222 01:27:14,912 --> 01:27:16,044 Oh no. 1223 01:27:16,046 --> 01:27:17,882 Where did I leave them last? 1224 01:27:24,054 --> 01:27:27,688 Hey, can I, can I put my keys on you? 1225 01:27:27,690 --> 01:27:29,089 Yeah, sure. 1226 01:27:37,134 --> 01:27:41,035 OMG, that's right. 1227 01:27:41,037 --> 01:27:42,005 Bag of dick! 1228 01:27:46,877 --> 01:27:49,044 You're right, after all that. 1229 01:27:49,046 --> 01:27:51,111 I had a spaceship, 1230 01:27:51,113 --> 01:27:53,315 and now I have to take the bus. 1231 01:27:53,317 --> 01:27:55,116 Worst 1232 01:27:55,118 --> 01:27:55,920 weekend 1233 01:27:56,987 --> 01:27:57,822 ever. 1234 01:29:11,927 --> 01:29:12,762 Whoa! 1235 01:29:14,197 --> 01:29:17,165 As if I haven't had enough, I lose my keys too. 1236 01:29:17,167 --> 01:29:19,668 What kind of freaking world is this? 1237 01:29:19,670 --> 01:29:22,840 Haven't I had enough of this world? 1238 01:29:24,940 --> 01:29:26,007 This is terrible. 1239 01:29:26,009 --> 01:29:27,243 What am I gonna do now? 1240 01:29:36,086 --> 01:29:37,152 Oh my god, grandma. 1241 01:29:37,154 --> 01:29:38,218 What are you doing here? 1242 01:29:38,220 --> 01:29:40,088 Get in the car. 1243 01:29:40,090 --> 01:29:41,089 Oh my god! 1244 01:29:41,091 --> 01:29:43,090 Thank you so much! 1245 01:29:43,092 --> 01:29:45,093 You have no idea what I've just been through 1246 01:29:45,095 --> 01:29:46,894 for the last two days! 1247 01:29:46,896 --> 01:29:48,897 Well not anymore, you're okay now. 1248 01:29:48,899 --> 01:29:50,932 Yes, thank you! 1249 01:29:50,934 --> 01:29:51,769 Yay! 1250 01:29:52,014 --> 01:29:57,014 Subtitles by explosiveskull 83903

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.