All language subtitles for S10E01 The Ring Cycle (HD)

I, Daphne Moon,

do take thee, Niles Crane,
as my husband.

I promise you
my fidelity and my support,

my laughter and my tears,

my constant friendship
and my unending love,

as long as we both shall live.

I, Niles Crane,

do take thee, Daphne Moon,
as my wife.

I vow to you
my fidelity and my support,

my honor and my respect,
my honesty and my protection.

You are my comfort, my joy
and my one true love.

I will cherish you
all the days of my life,

and treasure the journey
that has brought us

to this most wonderful,
perfect place.

For most folks,
that's one too many free cocktails.

Am I right?

Seriously, do you have the rings?

Oh...

No. In our rush to get here,
I completely forgot about them.

Does this mean
we can't get married?

It would if we didn't offer

seven different wedding-band
packages for you to choose from.

Now, depending on your budget,

we can offer you anything
from the Be Steel My Heart...

That's genuine stainless right there.

To the Never Ending Love,

which can be returned
for up to 90 days, no questions asked.

They do seem the nicest.

Damn, who could be calling
at this hour?

Wow, you certainly don't see
six-and-a-half carat gold every day.

- Hello?
- Daphne, it's Roz.

Quick, turn on your TV.
My building's on the news.

- What?
- Some murder-suicide thing.

I'm gonna wave to you
from my balcony.

- Darn, I'm not home.
- Where are you?

You're not gonna believe this,
but Niles and I flew to Reno,

and we're getting married right now.

- You are not!
- I am so!

Apparently, it's some sort
of dolphin emergency.

I should go. I'll tell you everything
when we get back.

Okay, bye--

Ew.

- Sorry.
- Okay.

You may exchange rings

as a symbol of the promises
you've made here today.

By the power vested in me

by the State of Nevada,
County of Washoe,

and the all-new
Lucky Seven Resort and Casino,

I now pronounce you
husband and wife.

Good luck.

Hey, don't forget
to check out our topless buffet.

He never said,
"You may kiss the bride."

You may kiss the bride.

Chop, chop, Dad.
Let's get a move on.

Last time I was late
for the farmer's market,

I got the worst
of the squash blossoms.

Oh, whatever shall we serve
the duchess?

- What?
- I said I'm coming.

And it's not my fault I'm late,
it's Daphne's.

I don't know where she is.
I had make my own lunch.

Oh, dear Lord. Give it here.

Two bags of chips,

three pudding cups and a root beer.

- What's wrong with it?
- A, this is not a lunch and, B,

I fail to see how it took you so long
since you did not make anything,

but simply transferred smaller
containers into a larger one, let's go.

- Oh, hi.
- Hello, all.

Where have you been?
I had to make my own lunch.

Oh...

- We've got some big news.
- Yes. Um...

Maybe they should sit down.

What's going on?

Well, last night I told Niles

that I wanted to marry him
right then and there.

Once I realized
she was serious,

we rushed out into the night
fully intending to.

But then we found out
that in Washington

it takes three days
to get a marriage license.

Thank goodness.

- Why?
- Why?

If we had missed your wedding,
well, it would've just killed me.

It would've?

Well, of course, it would.

Niles, we've been there through last
ten tortured years of your courtship.

How could we not be hurt
if we missed the wedding?

But surely you could understand

if someone were carried away
by their emotions.

I'm just glad it turned out
the way that it did,

because it would've
just broken my heart.

Well, we didn't come here
to break anyone's heart.

We came here to tell you
that there's a wedding in three days.

- Isn't that big news?
- Yes.

We're gonna have a, uh,
simple ceremony at the courthouse.

That is just wonderful.
And you know what?

By way of a celebration,

please allow me to treat us all
to dinner at Coeur du Singe.

- How does that sound, huh?
- That sounds wonderful.

- Martin.
- How you doing?

Wanna go to the dog park?
Oh, my God. You guys are here.

Well, I'm here too.

Um, we were talking
about our wedding.

Good. I wanna hear all about it.

We're gonna have
a small civil ceremony on Friday.

Aah... Huh?

Yes, if you'll excuse me, I'm in a rush
to get to the farmer's market.

At this hour?

I hope you like listless radicchio.

Okay, what the hell? I thought
you guys got married in Reno.

We did.

But as we were trying to tell
Mr. Crane and Dr. Crane,

they told us how hurt they'd be
if we got married without them.

Which in the moment
failed to occur to us.

So to spare their feelings,
we're having a fake wedding on Friday.

Well, that works for me, because Alice
is still counting on being a flower girl.

- Of course.
- Right.

So if you guys have two weddings,
when's your anniversary gonna be?

I suppose to keep up appearances,

it'll have to be
the second one, won't it?

Well, we could celebrate
two anniversaries,

a public one and then
a second, secret one just for us.

Oh, I like that. Heh.

Sort of sexy having an anniversary
only the two of us know about.

Three of us.

I still can't believe we're married.

It's our one-day anniversary.

And we're the only ones who know.

You know, we should celebrate.

How about going to the dog park?

- That doesn't sound very romantic.
- I'm not talking to you.

- Nervous?
- Less than last time.

I guess it helps
to have had a rehearsal.

That wasn't a rehearsal,
it was the real thing.

This is just
a touring-company performance.

Right.

It's a bloody miracle
we're here in one piece,

what with the way you drive.

I'm better at it when someone's
not screaming in my ear.

Well, in my day,
people didn't drive so recklessly.

Do you know why?

Is it because you rode dinosaurs?

You should talk to your daughter.

When we get home,
you're getting ice cream.

We're all here, Your Honor.

Why did we all have to be here
just to pick up a bloody license?

Couldn't we have met
at the church?

We aren't going to the church.
We're getting married here.

You what?

We're having a civil ceremony.

Without a minister?
Out of the question.

- Mum.
- That's enough.

I am your mother, and I will not
bear witness to a godless union.

Gertrude,
I favour a church wedding too,

but this is their day, not ours.

Maybe we should just let them decide
how it's gonna be.

If people got to decide things
for themselves,

no one would go to church.

- If I may...
- No, I'll handle this, Your Honor.

Mrs. Moon,
you have my personal guarantee

that this will not be a godless union.

For if you truly believe

in the omniscience
and omnipresence of the Lord,

then surely,
are we not always in his presence?

No, he lives at the church.

All I'm asking is that you honor
the wishes of an old woman

whose every child
has been married by a minister,

or at least a prison chaplain.

Perhaps,
given the depth of feeling here,

it would be best to wait.

Yes, well, I suppose we could find
a church in reasonably short order.

I don't believe this.

If you're not going
to get married now,

perhaps you could all
take this out to the hall.

- I have a schedule to keep.
- Roz, take me home.

- We'll call you when we clear this up.
- Okay.

Let's go, Alice.

Congratulations.

When you're ready
to have a proper wedding,

you know where to find me.

That we do.

On your fiery throne,
presiding over the damned!

All right, let's go.

Where are we gonna find a clergyman
on such short notice?

Maybe the judge knows somebody.
Hang on a second, you guys.

Your Honor...

I'm sorry, Daphne. It'll just be a few
days, and then we can be married.

We already are.

This is supposed to be
the happiest time of my life.

I want to wear my wedding ring.

I'm Mrs. Niles Crane,
and I don't want to keep it a secret.

- Do you wanna tell them the truth?
- Too complicated.

Let's just get married again.

- The Wedding's on.
- What about Mrs. Moon?

I'm sorry she'll miss it,
but that's her choice.

We changed our minds.
We want to be married.

All right, but we have to be quick
about this. Are we ready to begin?

Yes.

Okay, let's do it.
Daphne, please repeat after me.

Actually,
we've written our own vows.

Of course you have.

I, Daphne Moon,

do take thee, Niles Crane,
as my husband.

I promise you my fidelity
and my support,

My laughter and my tears...

You said you wouldn't do this.

I say a lot of things.

Oh, Frasier,
thank you so much for dinner.

Yes, it was wonderful.

It was my pleasure.

Dad, don't you have
something to add?

Well, I already said
thank you for dinner.

What am I supposed to do,
get down on my knees

and kowtow to your fancy-ass
American Express card?

No.

I was referring
to the gift we have for them.

Oh, right, I forgot about that.

Yeah, and thanks for dinner, Fras.

It really was excellent.

I didn't think I'd like beef cheeks.

Yes, yes, Dad, give them the gift.

This is so exciting.
Our first wedding present.

- Oh, it's a silver picture frame.
- Beautiful.

And, nota bene,
it's been engraved with today's date

in order to commemorate
your wedding day

until your real gift arrives.

Oh, it's very sweet.

Thank you,
Mr. Crane and Dr. Crane.

Well, you can't call us that anymore.

We're family now.

So we are. Heh.

Well, thank you, Frasier.

Oh, that feels strange.

- And thank you, Martin.
- Dad?

- Dad.
- Or Martin.

Whatever makes you comfortable.

Oh, thank you, Mr. Crane.

Don't mention it.

Well, I have to go and figure out
what to pack for the honeymoon.

I'm just bringing sunscreen.

Pardon me.

I have to go poke out my mind's eye.

Ah, you're lucky.

I always wanted to go to Bora Bora.

It'll be fantastic, Dad.

We're staying in a thatched hut
built out over the water.

In the middle of the floor
there's a window

where you can look down
at the bottom of the ocean.

Well, I hope it's not too deep.

When we went to the top of the
Space Needle and you looked down,

- you got sick.
- Dad...

All over that poor
Japanese tour group.

- Dad.
- When I yelled down to warn them,

they just looked up.

That was three years ago.

- Mrs. Moon.
- Did you find a minister yet?

- I'm sorry, no. Actually...
- Good, then I'm not too late.

- Too late for what?
- Oh, Daphne.

When I got home this afternoon...

Well, I was opening a bottle of Scotch
to have my tea,

and I began thinking.

I was married
by a minister in a church,

and what's it got me?

Alone and unloved is what.

And likely because I've been such
a rotten mother to you all these years.

- You haven't been rotten.
- Oh, yes, I have.

On what should've been
the happiest day of your life,

I thought of only myself.

I'm ashamed.
I mean, I'm embarrassed.

And I apologise.

Oh, Mum.

Oh, my only solace
is you aren't married yet,

because if I missed
my baby's wedding,

I wouldn't be able to live with myself.

Daphne,

Niles,

you get married
anywhere you want to.

All that matters
is that I'm there to share it with you.

Oh, of course, you'll be there.

We'll go right back
to that courthouse tomorrow

and resume where we left off.

Oh, nothing could make me happier.

Ah, Mrs. Moon, I see you've
made peace with the wedding.

Yes, Mrs. Moon
has rescinded her ultimatum,

so we're having the wedding
tomorrow.

Ah...

- Niles, may I have a word with you?
- Mm-hm.

What the hell's going on?
You guys already got married.

Yes, but she doesn't know that,

so tomorrow we're going to have
another ceremony for her benefit.

- That's crazy.
- It may be.

But I'm afraid the truth
would crush her.

Oh, please,
all the wine presses in Bordeaux

wouldn't crush that woman.

Niles, what you and Daphne
shared today was utterly unique.

You think so?

Yes, it was a singular moment.

Anyone fooled
by a repeat performance

would have to be
a complete imbecile.

True.

But if it's what Daphne wants,
I'll support her.

We'll get Roz back,
we'll find a different judge,

and we'll just do it all over again.

And it'll be just as perfect
as today's was.

Fine. But I'm not singing
"Wonderful World" again.

Ah, maybe more perfect.

Remember how excited
we were at our first wedding?

- Yeah, we were both shaking.
- Yeah. Heh.

Hey, I noticed the first time,

you promised me
your honesty and protection.

But not the second time.

No, because I vowed to always be true
and to be your constant champion.

It's the same thing.

I suppose.

You liked it better the first way?
Okay, we can go back to that.

Thanks.

You making any changes?

No, same old, same old.

- Where's Alice?
- Oh, upset stomach.

On the way home yesterday

she snacked
on the leftover petals in her basket.

So I'm sorry, but I won't be able
to join you for dinner.

- We understand.
- Explain it to me, then.

What sort of child eats roses?
It isn't normal.

You could've stopped her, you know.

Not the way
she was gnashing them up, I couldn't.

- Like a wood chipper, she was.
- All right...

The incredible beaver baby.

We get it.

Oh, dear Lord. Is that Donny?

Everybody, look at your shoes.

Hey, Daph. Is that Daphne?

- Donny.
- Hi.

What a surprise.

Everybody.
Boy, I hope this isn't uncomfortable.

Oh, no, no, not at all.

Uh, say, is that a drinking fountain
over there?

Sure looks like one.

Well, Niles, Daphne, I'd like you
to meet Bridget, my fiancee.

- Hi.
- Oh, hello.

- We just filed for our marriage license.
- Yes.

- Congratulations.
- That's great.

Thank you, I know that I was getting
married last time you ran into me,

but this time I found the real thing.

- Good, I'm glad.
- Yeah.

You know, if you hadn't left me,
then I never would've met my ex-wife,

who introduced me to Bridget.

So in a weird way, you played
a big part in my eventual happiness.

- That's a very healthy perspective.
- I think so too.

So, what are you guys doing here?

Niles and I are getting married.

Well, congratulations.

- That is great.
- Thank you.

- Daphne.
- Thank you.

Well, that's great.

And it's nice seeing you, and I hope
you come to our wedding.

Oh, same here.

Really? You'd be okay with that?

Well, sure, why not?

Of course, it's anybody's guess
how long we could be waiting here.

You can come in now.

Who had one second? Ha, ha.

- Everyone, it's time.
- Oh, my, here we go, then.

- This is Bridget.
- Lovely to meet you.

Hi, how nice to meet you.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Hi. How you doing?
- Hi.

- Is this everybody?
- Yes.

Let's get started.

We come here today to unite this man
and this woman in marriage.

I understand Daphne and Niles
have composed vows

that are especially significant
to them.

Niles.

Yeah. Ahem.

Uh, I, Niles Crane,
take you, Daphne Moon,

to be my wife.

I vow to you my...

My fidelity and support,
uh, honor, respect,

uh, honesty, protection and support.
Uh...

You are my comfort and joy
and, oh, shoot, there's one more...

One true love.

One true love. That's right.

Okay, you go--

"Okay, you go"?

I, Daphne Moon, do...

I'm sorry, this is wrong.

I can't stand here
and rattle off a bunch of words

that don't mean anything anymore.

I can't go through with this.

Yes! I knew it.

You know what it's like to have the love
of your life dump you at the altar.

And good luck
trying to find somebody as good,

because she just ain't out there.

What?

No, no. No, Bridget.

Bridget.

I'm sorry, everyone,
but Niles and I, we're already married.

- What?
- Mrs. Moon, I'm afraid it's true.

Uh, Niles and Daphne
are already married,

and they were simply trying
to spare your feelings.

You knew about Reno?

I was talking about yesterday.
What happened in Reno?

They got married yesterday?

- This is all a lie?
- No, yesterday was a lie.

- We eloped last week.
- I thought you'd have to wait.

- That's why we went to Reno.
- You didn't tell us?

- We thought you'd be insulted.
- I'm insulted now.

How could you tell Roz
and not your family?

How could you have two weddings
without telling your mother?

And how could you cheat Alice
out of being a flower girl?

We just wanted to be married.

Hold on, I got a question here.

You've been married for a week,

how come
you're not on your honeymoon?

Thank you, Martin.

- I hope you can all forgive us.
- Of course.

Your happiness,
that's what's important.

This is such a relief.

It just felt wrong
to start off a marriage with a lie.

Um, was the first one
at least in front of the minister?

- Of course.
- Yes, let's go.