Original subtitles

What are you thinking about?

I feel like a failure.

That's because you are a failure.

Come on, failures usually have a few more gray hairs.

You built me that dark room and it just sits there.

I'm never gonna get my own show.

You will.

Hey, I'm hungry. Let's eat.

- Did you go to Wong's? - No. Something better.

- Hot dogs? - Yeah. You like hot dogs.

- No, I don't. - Cajun veggie, your favorite.

- Can I have some ketchup? - Yes.

- There you go. - Thank you.

Oh, my God.

Where did you get this?

I crossed the desert, and I fought the freeways,

and I braved a visit with my father.

It was my mother's.

This is the only thing of hers that he managed to hold on to.

So, will you?

Yes. Yes.

Oh, my God.

Yes.

- You smell good. - How do I smell?

Like a hot dog.

That is so beautiful.

- I was so scared. - You were?

I love it.

- And I was afraid you weren't gonna ask. - Were you?

I've been thinking about it for a while.

I don't know. The world's so fucked up.

I thought it would be good for us to stake out our little corner somewhere

away from all the insanity.

- Izzy? - Mmm-hmm?

Why don't we blow a wad on the honeymoon?

You know, like... What about Italy?

Mmm. Lago di Como.

It always looked like the most beautiful place in the world.

Yeah, so we could fly into Rome, and we could make our way north.

- Mmm-hmm. - You know?

I have to be honest.

- What? - Your alarm went off.

Whoa, it's after 6:00. Greg gave us a 7:00 call.

Oh, man.

Honey, come back. I'll be really quick.

- Wanna close down one stop? - Okay.

- It's a 4-5-6 split. - Right.

All right.

- I think he wants to watch that one. - Yeah.

There it is. Beautiful. There she goes. Lovely.

Izzy, my dear, could you give me the 150, please?

Yeah.

Hey, Delaney.

Now, what Shaw believed

was that stasis is impossible.

Our choice as humans is to determine our own course

or to have it determined for us.

Blindness and ignorance

inevitably lead to destruction.

In either event, the life force propels us relentlessly.

And what is the French term for "life force"?

Une vie de force?

- No one? Come on. - Elan vital?

Elan vital, vital impetus, life force.

And that is going to be on the midterm.

So, you had better read your Bergson.

First new message.

Hey, it's me, your fianc�e.

Thanks for taking away my excuses.

It's clean. Maybe too clean.

Maybe, when you get home, we could mess it up a little.

- Hello? - I'm looking for my fianc�e.

When are you coming home?

Probably late, honey, grunt work. I have a meeting with Carlton.

He's asked me to sit in on a rehearsal. So...

Go ahead. Don't worry. If you're late, I'll just catch a movie with Miranda.

Okay, I'll try you later for an ETA.

- I love you. - I love you, too.

- Bye. - Okay, bye.

Come on.

It's all right.

It's okay.

Don't be scared.

- Thanks for inviting me in. - What?

- Shut up. - But...

- Shut the fuck up! - Please!

- Did I tell you to shut up, huh? - Please.

Didn't I tell you to shut the fuck up?

Please don't do this. Please don't do this. Please.

- Is anyone else around? - No.

Good. 'Cause I don't like surprises.

Say, listen. I just heard Lopez took a position with Vassar.

Leaves an opening for you.

- I just appreciate you trying, you know. - It's my pleasure. Take care.

Thanks.

Honey?

Izzy?

Izzy?

I'm sorry. You okay? You okay?

It's okay. It's okay.

Give me your hand.

Dr. Rotblatt, dial 1777. Dr. Rotblatt.

I just want to make sure about your decision to refuse the forensic.

If you let us collect the specimens now, we can preserve the evidence

and it will be there for you, if you change your mind about making a police report.

Once you bathe, that choice will be lost to you.

Do you understand?

I understand.

- Hey! - Peter Delaney?

- Yes. - Isabel is okay.

We've run all the necessary tests, and we've given her antibiotics. No injuries.

In the meantime, here are some pills to help her sleep,

and a prescription for later.

Why did the cops leave?

Isabel has refused to speak with them.

- Why? - Well, this is very common.

Shock expresses itself in different ways. I'm sorry.

Okay.

- Can I go and see her? - Yeah.

Thank you.

Izzy?

Hey, let me help you.

Is it true

that you don't wanna report it?

I just want to forget about it.

All of it.

Okay. Now, Izz...

- Listen. - Please. Let me.

We really need to talk to the police.

It's pointless.

Was it somebody that we know?

Did you at least get a good look at the guy? I mean...

- I can't do this right now, okay? - Yeah, but...

Okay.

- Hi. Len with Security Guard. - Hey. Come in.

- Thanks for fitting me in. - No problem.

Wow, looks like you've got a bunch of windows here.

It may be more than the $1,500 they quoted you.

- Where do you wanna start? - Over there'll be fine.

I got you. I really got you.

You're fucked. And I fucked you up. I take full credit.

Izzy?

You all right?

Uh-huh.

You hungry?

I have another headache.

I'll get you some aspirin.

- Greg called. - You didn't tell him, did you?

No.

I can't.

I can't.

How do you feel about moving?

We could sell the house.

Honey, I really appreciate it, but you can't.

It was your mom's.

You see, if I get moved up this year, we could find a better neighborhood.

I know what you're trying to do.

It won't fix it.

Sweetheart, this is awful, horrific.

- I told you this neighborhood was no good. - Mom, please.

Peter said you weren't eating, so I scoured Craig Claiborne

for something to whet your appetite.

He's got this great hush puppy recipe. They're made with white cornmeal.

I cut the butter, nixed the sugar,

and replaced it with that wild honey from Provence you love so much.

And have some braised quail.

Mom, I'm a vegetarian.

I know, but, it's such a stupid habit.

Here, let me brush your hair.

No, don't. Come one. It's okay. It's okay.

I can't stand to see you like this.

Living, just plain living is such a torment.

Maybe we were lucky Teddy died so young.

I thought losing an infant was as bad as it gets.

But maybe I should be grateful that you weren't killed.

But I never ever thought that anything like this would ever happen to me.

Mom, it's gonna be okay.

This is not okay. It'll never be okay.

- How am I going to tell your dad? - Don't! I asked you not to.

Why do mothers always have to bear the brunt of the messes in life?

- Mom, promise me. - Promise what?

- Not to tell Dad. - You are making a lot out of this.

I'm holding you to it, okay? You have to promise me.

- Fine, I promise. - Now, can you leave?

Sure.

- I'll be in the living room, if you need me. - No.

Go home. I need to be alone.

Am I being fired?

Hang on, I have to get this or the alarm will blast.

- Hi. - Hi.

- Come in. - Yeah.

Hey.

Sorry.

- Hello? - Can you believe those Lakers?

I didn't go to the game.

You missed the season opener? Is this what happens when I'm not there?

I'm just pooped from a night shoot.

Well, I finish this assignment next week, and I'll call when I'm back in town.

- Okay. Bye. - Bye.

Did you just lie to your dad?

You never lie to him.

Mandy, don't tell anybody.

Nobody.

Of course not.

Are you in training?

No.

Then why the hell are you running so fast? I can't keep up with you.

Okay, come on, darling. Let's go.

Honey, I know I wasn't much help to you the other day.

And I'm sorry.

But you and I both know that you can't mope around forever.

Depression's bad for everyone.

I made some calls.

And this is kind of like the Radcliffe group therapy for near-death experiences.

I made you a batch of Cousin Bette's ginger cookies.

Those girls in there probably need resuscitation as much as you do.

Here's a thermos of chamomile tea, but don't share.

Too many viruses going around.

Okay, honey, let's go in. Come on.

I'll pick you up in an hour.

I can wait in the car. I'm knitting another one of your favorite style.

Go on, sweetie. Go on.

Hi. My name is Marcia.

But everybody calls me Marcie.

Welcome to Safe Haven.

Telling the story of how we've been violated

can be very therapeutic.

And that is why we do it

over and over

and over again.

Stacey, would you like to start?

My parents were away for the weekend,

and my brother's best friend was hanging out with us.

I was waiting for a bus on Wilshire,

and it was getting dark.

Twenty years ago something happened to me.

Now, every year at this time, I get suicidal.

He had a knife, and he put it down there.

And he said, "Either you let me jam this up your hole,

"or I'll jam this up your hole."

New message sent today at 1... 12 p.m.

I thought you'd wanna know that a nurse just called.

They gave me a clean bill of health. No life-threatening diseases.

Okay. Bye.

You awake?

Hey, I got your message.

That was great news.

You okay?

Thanks, man.

- Where's Izzy? - She's sleeping.

She's been feeling a little under the weather lately.

Do you believe in fate?

I try not to trouble myself with such deep thoughts.

Look, I know you've been pissed.

You know, tenure's just not all it's cracked up to be.

I mean, it's not the answer to life's woes, if that's what you're hoping.

Do you remember that story,

Appointment in Samarra?

Remind me.

It's about this guy who sees Death,

and he thinks it's come for him.

So, he flees to another city, only to discover that Death is waiting for him there.

It's, you know, that

fate will find you, no matter where you run.

You're so fucking Irish.

What was that saying of your father's?

"We're all dancing.

- "You're dancing on your grave." - "Dancing on our graves."

- Sorry. - It's okay.

- What'd you do today? - Nothing.

Is something wrong?

I've been wondering if we'll ever get back to what we were.

What were we?

Engaged.

Not just to each other but in life.

I don't know.

I'd really like to.

I think you ought to go back to work.

Everything just feels so different.

Why should I?

I think it might help.

It's meaningless.

You don't know that.

Give me a reason.

For starters, who needs another photographer?

Why should I take pictures?

It's not gonna change the fact that the world is a miserable place.

Suffering, starvation, people killing, maiming each other.

We're all just gonna end up dead. So what's the point?

So I could take light meter readings

and give teenage girls a bad body image? What?

There's someone I found at school that I'd like you to see.

At least do that for me.

Try and tell me, from the beginning.

- That's hard. - I know, but try.

Every detail you can remember.

I was in my studio,

sorting prints.

I've been working on my own stuff for a couple of years,

whenever I can get enough money together from my regular job.

A bird flew in the window.

I didn't close the window.

Well, there's nothing criminal about leaving a window open, is there?

But he...

- Yes? - He said, "Thanks for inviting me in."

Let me see you play cards with this boy.

With this boy?

But he is a common laboring boy!

That's how I feel.

Look at his boots!

Like what?

Like Estella. I'm a cold bitch.

You're not a cold bitch.

Really?

You're more like a blob.

That doorbell needs some work.

- Hi. - Hi, Mandy. It's nice to see you.

- You, too. - Hi, Izz.

- Hey, Dad. - I had a late meeting with my editor.

So I thought I'd swing by on my way home.

Mom and I went to the basketball game the other night.

We missed you.

I got you a program and a new Lakers T-shirt.

Thanks.

- How you doing? - I've been a little under the weather.

What are your symptoms?

Headaches. I'm getting better though.

Okay, sweets.

This has really been dragging on though.

Maybe you should see a specialist.

Just say the word, you know I'll get the best doctor.

I know you will.

- Where's Peter? - He's working late.

Do you wanna come in?

No. No, I better go. Mom's cooking.

She's creating some kind of Punjabi feast.

- How about lunch, next week? - Okay.

Bye.

Hey, Peter!

- Hey, man. - Hey.

- Hey, how's Izzy? - She's fine.

I can't get her on the phone. I hope it's nothing serious.

No. No.

Will you please tell her she bloody well better call me soon, will you?

I miss her.

- I will. - Great.

- All right, I gotta go. - All right then.

- Take care. - See you.

- Good to see you. - You, too.

I can't think anymore. I have another one of those headaches.

You said something about surprises.

He said he was glad that nobody else was around.

I think you know what I want, and if you don't give it to me,

I'm gonna poke this thing through your fucking head.

You understand?

A pick in the head.

That would give me headaches, too.

- You cooked. - Yep. Pasta.

It smells good.

How was your day?

It could have been better.

What happened?

They chose David to head the Admissions Committee.

I'm sorry.

When did you find out?

A few days ago.

You can't beat us on the outside.

You've got no outside.

- Put it up. - That's in there.

That's a foul, baby.

Getting engaged has made you soft, huh?

I missed a basket, Larry. It's not a metaphor.

Switch up! Switch up!

I got him! I got him!

- Are you all right? Come on. - Fuck you!

- Hey, fuck you, man! It's just ball. - What's with the fucking elbow?

- Come on. Give me a break! - Peter, it's only a ball, man.

Come on. Shake it off. Come on.

- Hello. - It's me.

Hey, Dad.

Everything okay?

- You busy? - Kind of. What do you... What do you want?

I'd like you to come up this weekend.

My father called today.

Is he all right?

I don't know.

He asked me to come up and see him.

For how long?

A couple of days.

I'm afraid to be left alone.

- Go with him. - He doesn't want me to.

Why didn't you just ask?

Because...

I'm so amenable.

Amenable?

Yeah. A people pleaser, you know.

I'll do anything to make things easy.

How does being amenable fit in here?

I don't know.

I guess I think that maybe I should have fought back.

I did everything he told me to do.

Words were my weapon.

I remember thinking, "I've gotta stop this."

Suck me again.

I can't.

Suck it.

- I can't. - Why?

Because I don't love you.

Fuck you!

What made you make that choice?

He could have killed you.

He was grungy.

But there was this...

faint smell of cheap soap,

like he'd washed for me.

So I had hope.

I looked into his eyes and there was something

buried deep inside of him. There was...

It was something human.

He must have felt that, I guess.

How clearheaded.

And then he said, "Now what am I gonna do with you?"

And I was terrified.

I thought he was gonna kill me anyway.

- I could come with you. - I don't think that's a good idea.

You're kind of relieved to get away, aren't you?

That's ridiculous.

My father called. He asked me to come up. He's never done that before. Never.

You know, I don't even know what he wants.

He says he needs me, so I've gotta go.

But you're happy about it. Why can't you just admit it?

Why are you being like this?

Being like what? How am I being?

It's like you're not here, like you're dying to get away from me. Why?

Come on! Tell me! I wanna know why.

All right, yes.

Yes.

You wanna know why? Because I feel like shit.

I feel like shit that you're not happy anymore.

I feel like shit that I can't always be there for you.

And I feel like shit that I didn't kill the guy,

that I can't do anything to change that.

He's probably out there doing it to somebody else.

And I really feel like shit that you didn't talk to the police.

I mean, why didn't you? Huh? That was all that we had.

I couldn't.

Yeah.

Do you think it was my fault?

God, no, Izzy!

I'm sorry. See, I'm so frustrated.

I've wanted to help.

And I've tried,

but I'm beginning to think that I just... That I just don't know how anymore.

Come with me.

Come with me.

If you still want to.

I don't.

- Hello. - Hi, Izzy. It's Larry.

- Is Peter there? - No. No, he went to go see his father.

We were supposed to run this morning and yesterday morning.

- Did he mention the Lakers game? - No.

I've got two pairs of tickets for Wednesday night. I want you guys to meet Kim.

I'll remind him.

Izzy?

Peter hasn't been himself lately.

Is something wrong?

Yeah. Yeah, I guess there is.

- What? - I got raped.

I didn't know.

I'm so... I'm so sorry.

It's okay. No one knew.

I...

Well, I hope you guys can make it Wednesday.

You can come out and have a few beers.

I don't know.

- Izzy? - Yeah?

Did they catch the guy?

No. No, they didn't.

Dad?

Shit!

How'd that ring go over?

You never told me.

Took me 39 paychecks to buy your mother that ring.

- Did I ever tell you that? - No, you didn't.

So?

She loved it.

Good.

Where in the world did you manage to find catfish?

Crenshaw District. They have everything.

Why don't we eat out on the porch?

Play you my new album. It's in mint condition.

- He blames me. - For what?

Not going to the police. Not saving myself, I guess.

Why didn't you talk to the police?

- Are you trying to make me feel bad? - No.

Huh? 'Cause you're the one who left the window open, aren't you?

Aren't you?

It was so fucking easy!

I was just trying to answer your question, that's all.

Look.

- You better not go to the police. - I won't.

- Do you promise me? - I promise.

Because if you do, I'll come back here...

And the next time...

The next time, I'll kill you.

You understand?

You certainly kept your promise.

He gave me my life.

I felt grateful for that.

By striking that deal,

you entered into some kind of,

for want of a better word,

relationship with him.

All right, so tell me, how'd you get the shiner?

- It's nothing. - It's nothing?

Some clerks at the Shop 'n Save were trying to organize.

I got the manager a little ticked off.

It's better than spending my time grading roads for the BLM.

I thought you gave that shit up.

- I wish just once you'd surprise me. - Surprise you? How?

Well, for starters, by being an adult.

You know what would really be nice?

It would be nice if you could accept me.

Me, just the way I am.

An old lefty who likes to believe that what he does has meaning,

even if it doesn't.

Who's a father who's fucked up, but who's your father.

How's that for a surprise?

I'm sick and tired of sitting around watching you make a mess of your life.

- I never asked you to watch. - All right, so why am I here then?

I want to go home.

- To Arkansas. - There's nothing there for you.

It's home.

But you always said that you loved it here.

I changed my mind.

So you've changed your mind again.

Who are you, in your self-righteous condescension?

All right, so, supposing you go back, where are you gonna stay?

With an old buddy of mine from my organizing days.

He's got a little place near Heber Springs.

So you really want to go?

I wouldn't be foolish enough to put us both through this if I didn't.

Izzy! Izzy, where are you?

What are you doing here?

I'm knitting you a sweater. I just wanted to measure the length of the sleeve.

Shit. How did you get in?

Well, your car was there, but your bell doesn't work.

So I came in through the window. What were you doing? I was worried.

Sleeping.

Why are you still in bed at 2:00 in the afternoon?

You're never gonna recover if you just keep moping around.

Activity is the greatest cure-all. Believe me, I know.

After Teddy died, remember how I couldn't get out of bed?

But I fought it!

And that's what you have to do now.

These sheets are a little grungy. Get up and I'll pop them in the wash.

I don't want my sheets washed! I'm an adult for Christ's sakes.

- Darling, why are you so on edge? - "On edge"?

Maybe because you broke into my house and set off my alarm?

Or maybe because you seem to take special pleasure in nagging me,

telling me to sleep less, eat more, do this, do that?

You know what's wrong with you?

No, but go ahead and tell me. I'm sure you will, whether I ask you to or not.

You're still holding on to your pain.

You're refusing to let go.

It's like you're taking some kind of perverse pleasure

in rolling around in your own misery.

You have got to move on. Just let go.

- Let go? - Yes. Let go.

Has there been one day, one single day

since Teddy died, that you haven't mourned him?

Did it ever even occur to you that maybe I was sad, too,

but I had to refrain from showing it

because your despair was just a bottomless pit?

I'm not strong.

You've always been stronger.

I've always admired you for it.

I know you don't need me over here with my knitting,

telling you how to run your life.

But don't you see?

You're the only thing I have left.

And so I guess that is selfish of me.

- Hello. - Pip, no! No!

- I don't think he knows his name yet. - What is this?

My mom broke in. I went to the pound and got a dog.

I see.

Larry called. There's a Lakers game tonight.

Are you gonna come?

Maybe dinner. I'm not sure about the game.

How's your father?

He's the same.

Shit!

I must have missed one.

Sorry.

Okay, we'll have three rum samplers and a mojito.

- Coming right up. - Thanks.

- So, you like basketball? - No.

What do you like?

What do you mean what do I like? What kind of sports?

- Yeah. - Sports to play or sports to watch?

- Sports to watch. - Football, baby.

I'm from Oklahoma. I like guys who can kick ass.

- That's how we met. - Kicking ass?

Him?

- Izzy's into football. - Yeah, and boxing, and basketball...

- My father's a sports writer. - He's a great sports writer.

- What's his name? - John Fieldston.

Fieldston wrote that great piece on the pros and cons of instant replay.

That was him.

When are they gonna get it right, huh?

- Do you go to the games? - Yeah, I used to.

- Used to? - Parking is a bitch, so...

It's not the parking. It's the crowds. They scare me.

People can be crazy.

I got raped.

That must have been awful.

Yeah. It was.

Since you told me, I can't stop thinking about it.

I can't even imagine what that was like.

You told Larry. Okay, when did...

When did you tell Larry?

I've been working on an analogy, for men that is,

and it's hot off the presses, so it might be a little raw. You wanna hear it?

- Sure. - Of course.

For a guy, it would be like somebody taking a shit in front of you,

putting a gun to your head

and telling you to eat the shit or he's gonna blow your brains out.

- Izzy... - Then, while you're licking the shit,

you're wondering if when you're done, he's still gonna blow your brains out.

Izz, why are you doing this?

I don't know. It feels good to say it.

Well, I'm glad it feels good, but it's not very appropriate.

Appropriate? Is that really what you're concerned about? Appropriate?

- Hey, come on, you guys. You're both upset. - Larry, shut up. No, it's okay.

See, I've been harboring this secret for a very long time,

and I'd really like to know why, after all this time, you decide

to blurt it out for no reason.

Why? I'll tell you why. Because it's better to tell the truth than it is to lie.

This is not some unforgivable blemish that I have to hold on to forever.

- You're just doing it to get at me. - No, I'm not.

Well, why? You doing it to shock people? Is that what you're trying to do?

I'm sorry. Did I shock you?

Because their shock is nothing compared to what mine was. I can promise you that!

All right, well, if it feels this satisfying to you, don't let me stop you.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

Go ahead! Go on, hit me! All right?

I've had a lot of practice in that department. Hit me.

Just do it. Come on, do it!

Come on, Peter. You guys, you're both upset. Peter, don't do this.

- Come on, let's have a nice night. - Kim, very nice to meet you.

- Oh, my god. - Shit!

Izzy, Izzy, stop, you can't go. You can't go.

- You never really loved me. - No, listen, you can't say that,

because I love you. You know I love you. I've always loved you, and I love you now.

Then why did you stop touching me?

Hey, it's you that hasn't wanted to touch me.

- Listen... - The thing is, is that I feel like

I might be ready, and it seems like you don't want to.

- All that love is wasted. - Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Izzy, Izzy, please listen.

Something has happened to me, too.

Okay? And I just don't have the scars to prove it.

You're hurting my arm. Let go.

Peter, let go.

Are you speaking with him?

No.

I know it must be really hard for you. You've been together for so long.

- Dad? - Yeah?

What made you and Mom last all these years?

Well, I think it's because I'm never bored.

And because our neuroses overlap so perfectly.

- I know how crazy she can be. - Hmm.

With the paper folding,

me going freelance this late in my career,

losing Teddy.

I suppose she never really recovered.

Do you know what they say about great fighters?

Ali, Marciano, Sugar Ray?

When they get the shit kicked out of them,

they always come back.

Izz.

You've come so far.

You've been so brave.

She told you.

It's not her fault. I got it out of her.

I knew something was wrong.

You didn't want me to know?

Why?

You were the... You were the one person I...

I couldn't.

I know how you always want to fix things for me, and...

This is... This is unfixable.

And I...

I still wanted to be your little girl.

Sitting next to you at the games.

Hey, you broke your promise. You told.

And you promised never to tell anyone.

I promise.

Remember?

A promise to a rapist who says he'll kill you is not a promise.

It's begging for your life.

- I want to ask you something. - Shoot.

Why'd you rape me?

Because I could.

Get out! Get out of my head!

You're poison! I want you out!

Get out of me, you fucking idiot!

You motherfucker! Get out! Get out!

You keep it.

- She leave or you leave? - Dad, do you mind?

You can't answer a simple question?

She did.

Same with your mother.

Yeah, she left you, and she died of a broken heart,

'cause all you ever cared about were your fucking causes.

I'm not going to get into that.

I might say things I would regret.

Besides, you're off point.

- Dad, stop, please. Really. - Peter,

what happened?

Dad, she...

I don't really feel like discussing it, so...

I came to help you pack, so let's pack you.

Is that why you came out here?

How's she running?

Pretty good. She's still alive.

- She's a beauty. - Yeah.

All right. See you.

- Hello? - Izzy? You're never gonna believe it.

- What? - I've met somebody.

Is it a he or a she?

It's a he. He's a soundman.

- Is that a joke? - No, really.

We met at Dailies. His name's Caleb.

He's having a little thing Saturday night. I want you to check him out.

Can you come?

Hello? Izzy?

Are you there?

Yeah. Yeah, I'm here.

- Izzy? - Can I call you back?

- Okay. - Bye-bye.

Hi, Mom.

Oh, honey.

Thought I'd just stop by your new place and see how you're doing.

I smell Cousin Bette's ginger cookies.

What's the occasion?

Miranda has a new boyfriend. They're having a party.

- Can I have one of these? - Mmm-hmm.

I hope you rendered the butter so they're chewy inside.

This isn't my recipe.

You changed Cousin Bette's recipe.

She got that from our great aunt Cordelia,

who got it handed down to her from our great-great grandmother Evelyn.

Mom, forget about the lineage. How does it taste?

Fresh ginger.

- You used fresh instead of dried ginger. - Mmm-hmm.

- How much? - Four tablespoons.

That's a lot.

I like it here.

They are gonna stay in the race.

With the game tied two to two, we'll be right back after this.

- Have you talked to him? - Dad, don't start.

Start what?

Being wise.

I don't really know what I would have done if I were in his place.

Mmm. That smells fabulous.

Looks like the Dodgers are going...

- Whipped cream? - Absolutely.

Come here. Sit down.

You big bear, you.

Will you look at that? They're changing pitchers.

- They'll get out of it. - Dad, they're gonna lose.

- No, don't think that way. - You're gonna owe me $5.

- Don't forget about my souffl�. - Unless... Let's double our bet.

- Okay. - Okay.

- Hello? - Is this Peter Delaney?

- Yeah. - This is Tucker. Tucker Brennan.

I'm calling from Heber Springs. Do you have a moment?

Sure.

Your dad was staying with me here.

Is something wrong?

He passed away last Tuesday.

I'm sorry we didn't call you right away,

but he told me not to tell you until it was over.

Doctors did everything they could.

It was peaceful.

We buried him here next to your mother.

- Peter? Ann Monohan. - Ann.

Please, come in.

I've been thinking about calling Izzy,

and I can't.

Why do you think that is?

I'm afraid I'll make a mess of things.

A mess?

I have an aversion to messy situations.

What does messy mean to you?

Chaos.

Ugliness.

Failure.

How does failure come into it?

I loathe failure.

I loathe it in others, but most of all in myself.

Why such a strong reaction?

It's part of life, failure, isn't it?

Yeah.

Do you know...

You know that I cleaned the studio that day.

You know that I...

That I opened the window.

- See, it was my fault. - Why was it your fault?

That window is never open.

If I hadn't opened it, he wouldn't have come in.

Maybe he would have smashed the window.

Yeah, but maybe if I hadn't left it open...

God, he just wouldn't have come in.

- Can I tell you a story? - Yeah.

I saw this boy once.

He had an acute fear of swimming in pools.

He was so terrified of sharks. He saw them in the pool.

And we worked together for a while,

and after a time he seemed to be better.

Years later, I ran into him,

and I could tell he was an athlete.

I asked him what he was doing.

He told me he was captain of the swim team.

I said, "I guess then you're no longer afraid of sharks?"

You know what he said?

"The sharks are still there.

"I just out-swim them."

You never know what a person will do with impediments,

and sometimes adversity has unseen benefits.

Peter, by the time you get this, I'll be gone.

I was a terrible husband and a failure as a father, too,

maybe to the last because I chose not to warn you.

But I couldn't face it, giving you anymore pain, I mean.

These albums are all I have to offer you,

but I loved them, and I love you.

I hope you can forgive me. Dad.

Hi.

Hi.

You wanna come in?

Sure.

- I got a show. - Really?

Yeah. A little one.

I knew you would.

You wanna sit?

I'm only gonna stay a minute.

Yeah.

There's something I've been wanting to say.

You know that window,

the window he came in.

- I opened it. - I know.

But I left it open.

Neither of us is to blame.

He was to blame.

I thought I was being punished.

- For what? - Everything.

Copying my arithmetic homework from my best friend in the third grade,

lying to my mom when I stayed out late,

hating my little brother when he was born,

wishing he would die.

Then he did.

Where'd you get those?

Dad.

Smoking finally got him by way of a broken heart.

- Oh, God. - Yeah.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I was so difficult.

You have nothing to apologize for.

I do.

What happened in a way, it was a test, and I failed.

I wasn't big enough.

- I gotta go. - Yeah.

Izzy.

Why did you come?

To thank you.

For what?

Sending me my camera.

Oh.

I generally don't like a large format.

That reminds me of Richter.

- Really? - Yeah.

She's just magnificent.

I am so proud of her.

Here. Hold this a second.

I have something for you.

It's beautiful.

I love you.

- No, I'm telling you... - So he called me at noon.

- Noon. - I think that's fabulous.

- Can you believe that? - Yeah.

- I shouldn't even give him a second chance. - No.

- Hi. - Hi.

It's great.

- Do you want me to show you? - Yeah. Yeah.

- Your dad? - Yeah. He liked it.

- I never thought he'd show up. - Why not?

I always thought he was a bit of a coward.

No more than the rest of us.

I'm no coward.

- That's the truth. - Hmm.

Thanks for coming.

The show was just an excuse.

I'm going to Europe.

Come with me.

I can't.

Why not?

I just can't.

We're not the same people.

Okay.

I think you're right.

We're not the same people.

I know.

We're better, Izzy.

Just to live through that, to get through it, is an accomplishment.

I love you more now than I ever did,

and losing you twice, I think I'd die.

- I don't think I could take it, either. - Well, let's not. Come with me.

Italy is beautiful this time of the year.

The Lago di Como is waiting for us.

- I think you should... - "I think."

No more thinking allowed.

No more thinking allowed.

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