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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:24,127 --> 00:00:29,127 Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org 2 00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:32,908 You've got to do something. 3 00:00:32,992 --> 00:00:34,952 Why have I got to do something? 4 00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:37,329 Because I don't really like snakes! 5 00:00:37,413 --> 00:00:39,081 I don't like 'em either. 6 00:00:39,165 --> 00:00:41,375 Why don't we just turn around and... 7 00:00:41,459 --> 00:00:43,419 go back the way we came up? 8 00:00:44,879 --> 00:00:46,756 'Cause everyone's watching. 9 00:00:49,175 --> 00:00:51,260 Please. Mr. Dundee. 10 00:00:51,343 --> 00:00:52,344 Oh... 11 00:00:52,428 --> 00:00:55,097 Yeah, come on. Mr. Dundee. 12 00:01:00,811 --> 00:01:02,354 Go, Dundee! 13 00:01:02,438 --> 00:01:05,566 I'm not really Crocodile Dundee, you know. 14 00:01:05,649 --> 00:01:07,526 Just a character I play in a movie. 15 00:01:07,610 --> 00:01:11,489 He's being modest. That movie was practically a documentary. 16 00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:12,823 Shut up, Barney! 17 00:01:12,907 --> 00:01:15,242 Stand back, everyone. Boys. 18 00:01:16,035 --> 00:01:17,953 Oh. Shit. 19 00:01:19,038 --> 00:01:20,289 Be careful. 20 00:01:20,372 --> 00:01:21,916 Here's a stick! 21 00:01:31,842 --> 00:01:34,970 He'll have that thing on the barbecue tonight. 22 00:01:42,061 --> 00:01:44,313 It's dead. 23 00:01:48,567 --> 00:01:50,611 Um, yeah, not that one. 24 00:01:50,694 --> 00:01:51,612 Huh? 25 00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:53,572 Could you get the other one? 26 00:01:53,656 --> 00:01:55,115 The other one? Oh, is there... 27 00:01:55,199 --> 00:01:56,075 Ooh, Jesus! 28 00:01:57,952 --> 00:01:59,119 Shit. 29 00:01:59,203 --> 00:02:00,496 Everything okay? 30 00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:13,968 Oops. 31 00:02:17,763 --> 00:02:21,433 As hilarious reports continue to surface of Paul 32 00:02:21,517 --> 00:02:23,227 'Crocodile Dundee' Hogan's 33 00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:25,396 ill-fated rendezvous with a snake... 34 00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:29,316 we ask where the Man from Down Under has been hiding. 35 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:31,652 The one-time rigger on the Sydney Harbor Bridge 36 00:02:31,735 --> 00:02:33,153 first got his big break 37 00:02:33,237 --> 00:02:36,115 on Australian talent show New Faces. 38 00:02:36,198 --> 00:02:39,493 He instantly became a household favorite, 39 00:02:39,577 --> 00:02:42,204 and quickly, this everyman went on to star 40 00:02:42,288 --> 00:02:46,166 in his own sketch comedy series, The Paul Hogan Show. 41 00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:50,504 Dominating the Australian ratings over a 14-year period 42 00:02:50,588 --> 00:02:53,340 made 'Hoges' a household name 43 00:02:53,424 --> 00:02:58,095 and introduced such iconic characters as Arthur Dunger, 44 00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:00,014 Luigi the Unbelievable 45 00:03:00,097 --> 00:03:03,893 and stuntman extraordinaire Leo Wanker. 46 00:03:05,603 --> 00:03:07,771 The world beckoned, and as Hoges fronted 47 00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:10,441 Australia's most successful tourism campaign, 48 00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:14,278 we booked our flights and flocked Down Under in droves. 49 00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:16,280 It was then Hogan unleashed... 50 00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:19,575 the most successful independent film 51 00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:21,535 in the history of cinema... 52 00:03:21,619 --> 00:03:23,370 Crocodile Dundee. 53 00:03:23,454 --> 00:03:25,205 ...Crocodile Dundee, of course. 54 00:03:25,289 --> 00:03:26,874 ...Crocodile Dundee. 55 00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:28,042 That's not a knife. 56 00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:32,546 That's a knife. 57 00:03:32,630 --> 00:03:34,298 The low-budget Aussie comedy 58 00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:37,760 went on to gross over $300 million worldwide 59 00:03:37,843 --> 00:03:41,889 and saw Paul Hogan co-host the 1987 Academy Awards 60 00:03:41,972 --> 00:03:44,767 and made him one of the most recognizable faces 61 00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:47,394 on the planet and a national treasure. 62 00:03:47,478 --> 00:03:49,730 Growing up in Australia, there was one name 63 00:03:49,813 --> 00:03:53,192 that was... beyond an idol in a way, 64 00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:56,570 and I'm just gonna say one word - Hoges. 65 00:03:57,863 --> 00:03:59,323 Hoges was your everyman. 66 00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:01,200 Hoges was the Aussie you wanted to be. 67 00:04:01,283 --> 00:04:03,994 In 1989 came Dundee II 68 00:04:04,078 --> 00:04:06,872 and saw Hogan move to live in the US. 69 00:04:06,956 --> 00:04:08,749 More films were to follow, 70 00:04:08,832 --> 00:04:10,918 but all failed to capture the same success 71 00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:12,461 as Crocodile Dundee. 72 00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:14,171 And almost overnight, 73 00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:16,715 Hogan disappeared from American screens. 74 00:04:16,799 --> 00:04:18,300 And apart from a brief cameo 75 00:04:18,384 --> 00:04:20,511 in a new Australian tourism campaign... 76 00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:22,638 ...has rarely been seen again. 77 00:04:22,721 --> 00:04:24,056 If you want to know 78 00:04:24,139 --> 00:04:25,557 what the notoriously private star 79 00:04:25,641 --> 00:04:27,810 has been up to these past 20 years, 80 00:04:27,893 --> 00:04:31,563 your guess... is as good as mine. 81 00:04:31,647 --> 00:04:33,357 What the hell was that?! 82 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:34,692 What? 83 00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:36,235 You threw a snake at a fifth-grade teacher 84 00:04:36,318 --> 00:04:37,903 and hit her in the face! 85 00:04:37,987 --> 00:04:40,781 Oh. Oh, she thought I was the real Crocodile Dundee. 86 00:04:40,864 --> 00:04:42,616 So you threw a snake at her? 87 00:04:42,700 --> 00:04:45,661 Oh, no. That was an accident. The bloody thing leapt at me. 88 00:04:45,744 --> 00:04:48,747 Right. And yet she thought you were the real Crocodile Dundee? 89 00:04:48,831 --> 00:04:50,791 Yeah. He probably would have eaten it. 90 00:04:50,874 --> 00:04:53,002 Paul, I hardly have any clients left as it is. 91 00:04:53,085 --> 00:04:54,920 Could you just please try not to kill yourself? 92 00:04:55,004 --> 00:04:55,921 Okay. 93 00:04:56,005 --> 00:04:56,922 Thank you. 94 00:04:57,006 --> 00:04:58,090 Uh, where are we going? 95 00:04:58,173 --> 00:04:59,591 Oh. I have news. 96 00:04:59,675 --> 00:05:00,592 Oh. 97 00:05:00,676 --> 00:05:01,552 Yeah! 98 00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:07,433 See this letter? 99 00:05:07,516 --> 00:05:08,559 What? 100 00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:11,061 Well, God knows why, but apparently 101 00:05:11,145 --> 00:05:15,399 the Queen of England wants to bestow you with a knighthood. 102 00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:17,401 What for? 103 00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:18,736 For services to comedy. 104 00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:21,488 Services! God! I don't want a knighthood. 105 00:05:21,572 --> 00:05:22,948 Well, you're getting one. 106 00:05:23,032 --> 00:05:24,783 So this is serious? 107 00:05:24,867 --> 00:05:26,535 Oh. Look at that. 108 00:05:26,618 --> 00:05:28,579 There's that Dundee impersonator. 109 00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:30,330 Oh, he's still here. 110 00:05:30,414 --> 00:05:32,750 I hate it. You know, people keep telling me he's strung out. 111 00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:35,544 Photo with Mick Dundee? Hey? Crocodile man? 112 00:05:35,627 --> 00:05:37,129 They're all strung out. 113 00:05:37,212 --> 00:05:39,256 Yeah, but he doesn't even look like Dundee! 114 00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:41,133 And apparently he's rude to the kids 115 00:05:41,216 --> 00:05:43,052 and then charges them something like $5 116 00:05:43,135 --> 00:05:44,344 just to take his picture. 117 00:05:44,428 --> 00:05:46,472 Well, this is Hollywood Boulevard. 118 00:05:46,555 --> 00:05:47,723 They're all crooks. 119 00:05:47,806 --> 00:05:49,016 Yeah, I know. 120 00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:51,018 Oh, and, yes, this is very serious. 121 00:05:51,101 --> 00:05:52,603 Oh. 122 00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:55,981 Oh, yeah. They want me to appear in person. 123 00:05:56,065 --> 00:05:57,483 Six weeks from now in London. 124 00:05:57,566 --> 00:05:59,651 I know! How great is that? 125 00:05:59,735 --> 00:06:01,403 I'm not going. 126 00:06:01,487 --> 00:06:03,072 Wait. But... What? You are. 127 00:06:03,155 --> 00:06:04,865 Wh-why would I go to... 128 00:06:04,948 --> 00:06:07,034 I mean, I've been trying to retire for the last 20 years. 129 00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:08,077 I know. 130 00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:09,578 You know me. I'm lazy. 131 00:06:09,661 --> 00:06:12,164 I like to stay at home and watch Ellen on TV 132 00:06:12,247 --> 00:06:13,957 and do crossword puzzles. 133 00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:15,876 But despite all that, it seems 134 00:06:15,959 --> 00:06:18,253 the Queen is actually quite the fan. 135 00:06:18,337 --> 00:06:19,254 Oh. 136 00:06:19,338 --> 00:06:20,297 I know. 137 00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:21,840 I'm not surprised. 138 00:06:21,924 --> 00:06:24,218 I mean, come on, you put Australia on the map. 139 00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:26,720 You had the most successful independent film 140 00:06:26,804 --> 00:06:28,388 in history, Paul. 141 00:06:28,472 --> 00:06:30,140 I mean, you've got to think about your legacy. 142 00:06:30,224 --> 00:06:31,475 My legacy? 143 00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:34,061 Having a legacy is a beautiful thing. 144 00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:37,898 As your manager, I am telling you, you've got to do this. 145 00:06:37,981 --> 00:06:39,983 Oh, and in the meantime, 146 00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:41,610 can you just try and behave yourself? 147 00:06:41,693 --> 00:06:43,946 Because, you know, the palace hates any kind of... 148 00:06:44,029 --> 00:06:45,864 controversy or trouble. 149 00:06:45,948 --> 00:06:48,659 Hey, I never cause any controversy or trouble. 150 00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:52,663 You know... sometimes it... just comes after me. 151 00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:58,669 What are we doing here? 152 00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:00,379 Okay. Don't be mad. 153 00:07:00,462 --> 00:07:02,548 But the studio really, really wanted a meeting. 154 00:07:02,631 --> 00:07:04,299 Angie, I've been telling you for 20 years, 155 00:07:04,383 --> 00:07:06,051 I don't want to do another Dundee. 156 00:07:06,135 --> 00:07:09,012 I know, but they've got some really amazing casting news. 157 00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:11,682 Seriously, I have never heard the studio 158 00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:13,559 this excited and bursting with ideas. 159 00:07:13,642 --> 00:07:15,811 So I told them we'd take a meeting. 160 00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:18,605 Oh, come on. Just do it for me? Please? 161 00:07:18,689 --> 00:07:20,274 Can we meet with them? 162 00:07:20,357 --> 00:07:22,860 And then you can go home, take a nap and watch Ellen. 163 00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:25,529 All right. Come on. 164 00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:27,406 Okay. You know what? I can't go. 165 00:07:27,489 --> 00:07:29,533 I've got to meet Mom. But you go ahead. 166 00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:31,118 You'll be great, trust me. 167 00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:32,452 I'll call you later! 168 00:07:32,536 --> 00:07:35,664 Love you! 169 00:07:35,747 --> 00:07:38,959 Oh, look! Everyone, there's Paul Hogan! 170 00:07:53,682 --> 00:07:54,600 Hey. 171 00:07:54,683 --> 00:07:55,601 Hey, Paul. 172 00:07:55,684 --> 00:07:56,810 Kim Courtney. Pleasure. 173 00:07:56,894 --> 00:07:58,228 Paul, it's an honor. 174 00:07:59,688 --> 00:08:01,023 Thanks for coming in, Paul. 175 00:08:01,106 --> 00:08:02,941 We heard you were very excited to meet. 176 00:08:03,025 --> 00:08:04,568 Uh... yeah. 177 00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:06,153 Let me just start by saying that we are huge fans 178 00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:07,988 of the Crocodile Dundee movies. 179 00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:09,615 And we want to bring him back. 180 00:08:09,698 --> 00:08:11,200 We know you've been a little resistant in the past, 181 00:08:11,283 --> 00:08:12,951 but please, just hear us out. 182 00:08:13,035 --> 00:08:16,330 We'd really love to see Dundee... 183 00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:17,915 come to Los Angeles. 184 00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:19,374 Dundee in LA? 185 00:08:19,458 --> 00:08:20,375 Exactly. 186 00:08:20,459 --> 00:08:22,294 Like we did in Dundee III? 187 00:08:23,629 --> 00:08:25,380 There was a Dundee III? 188 00:08:25,464 --> 00:08:26,798 Are you sure? 189 00:08:26,882 --> 00:08:28,884 Mmm, reasonably. 190 00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:30,344 Here we go. 191 00:08:30,427 --> 00:08:32,012 Drinks! Ha ha! 192 00:08:32,095 --> 00:08:34,932 One sunrise kiss with added kale. 193 00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:36,475 Thank you. 194 00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:37,851 Roland, blended oats and chai supreme. 195 00:08:37,935 --> 00:08:39,019 Ah. Thank you, Anton. 196 00:08:39,102 --> 00:08:40,354 Ah, Josh. 197 00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:41,480 Yes, siree. 198 00:08:41,563 --> 00:08:42,606 Lemon and rocket essence. 199 00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:43,607 Perfecto. 200 00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:44,608 Now, Paul... 201 00:08:44,691 --> 00:08:45,609 Uh, no, I'm... 202 00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:46,944 I made you my favorite, 203 00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:48,320 which is a cleansing blend 204 00:08:48,403 --> 00:08:50,072 of mint, goat's milk, 205 00:08:50,155 --> 00:08:54,868 activated walnuts and baby spinach with agave syrup. 206 00:08:54,952 --> 00:08:56,036 Ooh! 207 00:08:56,119 --> 00:08:57,037 Agave syrup! 208 00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:58,038 Yeah. Thanks. 209 00:08:58,121 --> 00:08:59,081 Take a sip. 210 00:08:59,164 --> 00:09:00,165 Yeah, yeah. Drink. 211 00:09:00,249 --> 00:09:01,166 Sip. 212 00:09:01,250 --> 00:09:02,251 Come on. 213 00:09:03,418 --> 00:09:04,336 Hmm? Hmm? 214 00:09:04,419 --> 00:09:05,837 It's good, huh? 215 00:09:05,921 --> 00:09:06,838 Yeah. There it is. 216 00:09:07,923 --> 00:09:09,174 Anton! 217 00:09:09,258 --> 00:09:12,135 Okay. Let's forget the location. 218 00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:13,679 We want to introduce your son. 219 00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:15,430 A Dundee Jr. 220 00:09:15,514 --> 00:09:18,558 You know, someone who shares all of your qualities and attributes 221 00:09:18,642 --> 00:09:20,477 but who can bring the franchise forward 222 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,145 for a younger, new generation. 223 00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:24,523 Yeah, well, we've already been down that road, 224 00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:27,317 and it, um... didn't sort of work. 225 00:09:27,401 --> 00:09:30,028 Yes. But this time, we have just the actor. 226 00:09:30,112 --> 00:09:32,614 He's A-list, he is charming, funny as hell... 227 00:09:32,698 --> 00:09:33,657 A little bit cute. 228 00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:34,700 He is perfect. 229 00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:37,744 And a massive, massive fan. 230 00:09:37,828 --> 00:09:41,331 So, without any further ado, to play your son... 231 00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:43,709 Will Smith! 232 00:09:44,793 --> 00:09:45,711 Will... 233 00:09:45,794 --> 00:09:47,087 Smith! 234 00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:49,589 Look at him! Oh, he can't believe it! 235 00:09:49,673 --> 00:09:52,301 Believe it, Paul! He wants to play your son! 236 00:09:52,384 --> 00:09:53,510 Yeah! 237 00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:54,678 Yeah, but... 238 00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:56,972 Okay. We know what you're thinking. 239 00:09:57,055 --> 00:09:58,223 He's too old. 240 00:09:58,307 --> 00:09:59,891 No, that's not what I'm thinking. 241 00:09:59,975 --> 00:10:02,436 But he's just turned 50 and he looks great. 242 00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:03,854 Yeah, I'm sure, yeah, but... 243 00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:05,105 What? He's American? 244 00:10:05,188 --> 00:10:06,315 He's fantastic with accents. 245 00:10:06,398 --> 00:10:07,441 We'll get him a voice coach. 246 00:10:07,524 --> 00:10:09,151 But that's... not the problem. 247 00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:10,152 It's just that he's... 248 00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:11,153 Hey, Barry! 249 00:10:11,236 --> 00:10:13,196 Ah! We got Paul Hogan here! 250 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,115 We're just discussing the Dundee casting. 251 00:10:15,198 --> 00:10:17,451 My man! Crocodile Dundee! 252 00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:18,952 Hey, Barry. 253 00:10:19,036 --> 00:10:21,455 Sorry, Paul. You were saying? 254 00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:23,582 Well, it just doesn't make sense. 255 00:10:23,665 --> 00:10:24,750 It's just that he's... 256 00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:25,751 Hey, Kyle! 257 00:10:25,834 --> 00:10:26,877 Yes? 258 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,295 Bring that thing in here. 259 00:10:28,378 --> 00:10:29,338 For sure. 260 00:10:29,421 --> 00:10:30,505 So we can show our excitement. 261 00:10:30,589 --> 00:10:31,548 Ah! 262 00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:34,051 Oh, great! Perfect! 263 00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:35,719 Perfect timing. 264 00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:37,512 It's a crocodile. 265 00:10:39,097 --> 00:10:41,266 Sorry, Paul, you were saying? 266 00:10:41,350 --> 00:10:42,893 Oh, yeah, well... 267 00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:44,978 You don't seem too sure about Will... What is it? 268 00:10:45,062 --> 00:10:45,979 You can tell us. 269 00:10:46,063 --> 00:10:46,980 Mmm. 270 00:10:47,064 --> 00:10:48,690 Be honest. Is... is it height? 271 00:10:48,774 --> 00:10:49,691 No... 272 00:10:49,775 --> 00:10:50,692 His build? 273 00:10:50,776 --> 00:10:51,693 No... 274 00:10:51,777 --> 00:10:52,694 What, his hair color? 275 00:10:52,778 --> 00:10:53,695 Closer. 276 00:10:53,779 --> 00:10:54,696 His acting? 277 00:10:54,780 --> 00:10:55,697 No, I... I love Will Smith. 278 00:10:55,781 --> 00:10:56,823 I think he's fabulous. 279 00:10:56,907 --> 00:10:58,033 He's great. But, um... 280 00:10:58,116 --> 00:10:59,493 What? 281 00:10:59,576 --> 00:11:00,702 What is it, Paul? 282 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:03,038 He's black. 283 00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:09,586 You did what? 284 00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:10,837 I didn't do anything! 285 00:11:10,921 --> 00:11:12,547 Paul, not more than 20 minutes ago, 286 00:11:12,631 --> 00:11:14,049 I told you to behave yourself, 287 00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:15,550 and now you suddenly decide to become a racist? 288 00:11:15,634 --> 00:11:17,761 Racist? Oh, rubbish! 289 00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:19,971 They said you said you didn't like Will Smith 290 00:11:20,055 --> 00:11:21,306 because he was black. 291 00:11:21,390 --> 00:11:23,100 No! I just said it makes no sense 292 00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:25,435 that me and the equally white Sue Charlton 293 00:11:25,519 --> 00:11:27,562 have an African-American son. 294 00:11:29,272 --> 00:11:31,233 God, Paul! You can't say that! 295 00:11:31,316 --> 00:11:33,402 Oh, I'm fairly sure I already did. 296 00:11:33,485 --> 00:11:36,446 Now I know why my dad always wanted to quit managing you. 297 00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:39,032 He never wanted to quit. 298 00:11:39,116 --> 00:11:40,575 Paul? 299 00:11:40,659 --> 00:11:42,160 Um, what do you say 300 00:11:42,244 --> 00:11:44,621 we just keep this Will Smith stuff to ourselves, huh? 301 00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:46,415 And you just try and behave. 302 00:11:46,498 --> 00:11:47,707 I'll try. 303 00:11:47,791 --> 00:11:48,708 Okay. 304 00:11:48,792 --> 00:11:50,127 Bye. 305 00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:53,380 Oh... God! 306 00:12:46,683 --> 00:12:47,601 Paddy? 307 00:12:48,977 --> 00:12:50,812 You want your dinner, don't you? 308 00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:54,441 Here it comes. 309 00:13:02,532 --> 00:13:06,328 ♪ Like you want to go ♪ 310 00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:09,498 ♪ Baby, it's the time ♪ 311 00:13:09,581 --> 00:13:13,877 ♪ I can make you mine... ♪ 312 00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:15,879 Hey, Dad. 313 00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:16,880 Oh, hey, mate. 314 00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:17,923 How's your day been? 315 00:13:18,006 --> 00:13:19,174 Yeah, it's good, it's good. 316 00:13:19,257 --> 00:13:20,425 Not too bad. How about you? 317 00:13:20,509 --> 00:13:21,968 Mmm... not bad. 318 00:13:22,052 --> 00:13:23,762 Listen, do you want any dinner? 319 00:13:23,845 --> 00:13:25,680 Oh, I'm all right. I had a bite earlier, actually, so... 320 00:13:25,764 --> 00:13:27,474 Oh, well... Oop. 321 00:13:27,557 --> 00:13:28,600 Hi. 322 00:13:28,683 --> 00:13:29,851 Hello. Hi. 323 00:13:29,935 --> 00:13:30,852 Hi. 324 00:13:30,936 --> 00:13:31,853 Good to see you. 325 00:13:31,937 --> 00:13:33,355 These are... they're my friends. 326 00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:35,482 Yeah. 327 00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:37,651 Um, there's some ice-cream left down there. 328 00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:38,860 You want me to leave you a bit? 329 00:13:38,944 --> 00:13:40,612 You know what? I'm good, actually, Dad. 330 00:13:40,695 --> 00:13:42,155 But I might grab some in a bit, eh? 331 00:13:42,239 --> 00:13:43,532 Okay. 332 00:13:43,615 --> 00:13:44,824 Why don't you come in for a sec? 333 00:13:44,908 --> 00:13:46,826 Well, I'd love to, but, um... 334 00:13:46,910 --> 00:13:47,953 you know, it's a bit late for me. 335 00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:48,954 Sure. 336 00:13:49,037 --> 00:13:50,789 Yeah. I'll leave you. 337 00:13:50,872 --> 00:13:52,207 I love you, Dad. Good to see you. 338 00:13:52,290 --> 00:13:53,250 Love you. 339 00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:54,334 See you. 340 00:13:54,417 --> 00:13:55,877 As excitement builds 341 00:13:55,961 --> 00:13:57,462 for Alf: The Musical, 342 00:13:57,546 --> 00:13:59,923 which opens on Broadway next week. 343 00:14:02,133 --> 00:14:03,843 Meanwhile, at the domestic box office, 344 00:14:03,927 --> 00:14:06,096 Father-in-Law spent its second week at number one, 345 00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:09,057 making Pauly Shore's return to the top now complete. 346 00:14:09,140 --> 00:14:10,267 Welcome back, Pauly. 347 00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:11,726 Yeah, indeed. 348 00:14:11,810 --> 00:14:13,436 All right, finally, the excitement 349 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,522 of Paul Hogan returning to the public eye was short-lived, 350 00:14:15,605 --> 00:14:18,024 with some now asking whether the Australian actor 351 00:14:18,108 --> 00:14:20,735 threw the snake as a publicity stunt 352 00:14:20,819 --> 00:14:23,405 in a vain attempt to reinvigorate his acting career. 353 00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:26,616 His acting career? I think you're being too kind. 354 00:14:37,294 --> 00:14:39,004 Hi, Grandpa! 355 00:14:39,087 --> 00:14:41,548 Oh, Lucy! How are you, love? 356 00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:43,341 What time is it over there? 357 00:14:43,425 --> 00:14:46,344 Not sure, but early. I've got rehearsals before school today. 358 00:14:46,428 --> 00:14:47,887 Oh? What's that for? 359 00:14:47,971 --> 00:14:49,806 I'm doing the school play. The Wizard of Oz. 360 00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:52,934 Well, today is my first day. You should come and watch! 361 00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:56,938 Oh, I'd love to, kid, but, um... it's too far away. 362 00:14:57,022 --> 00:14:58,898 Mum said you've been getting in trouble. 363 00:14:58,982 --> 00:15:00,233 Who, me? 364 00:15:00,317 --> 00:15:01,568 You! 365 00:15:01,651 --> 00:15:03,278 Nah. She's probably getting 366 00:15:03,361 --> 00:15:05,405 confused with someone else. 367 00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:07,907 Oh. I wish you'd come back home, Grandpa. 368 00:15:07,991 --> 00:15:10,702 Oh, believe me, kiddo, I'd be back there in a heartbeat 369 00:15:10,785 --> 00:15:14,164 if I thought my poor old dog Paddy could handle the flight. 370 00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:17,125 Especially now that Chase is doing so well over here. 371 00:15:17,208 --> 00:15:20,086 Yeah. I've heard about Uncle Chase. 372 00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:23,298 Yeah! Never ceases to amaze me, that kid. 373 00:15:23,381 --> 00:15:27,218 I think he's running a nightclub out of his bedroom. 374 00:15:28,553 --> 00:15:30,680 So, how's the new school going? 375 00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:32,057 It's okay. 376 00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:33,808 Made any new friends? 377 00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:36,269 Grandpa? 378 00:15:36,353 --> 00:15:37,562 Yeah? 379 00:15:37,646 --> 00:15:38,938 I love you. 380 00:15:39,022 --> 00:15:40,732 Oh, I love you too, sweetie. 381 00:15:40,815 --> 00:15:43,985 I'd better get going. Bye! 382 00:15:52,827 --> 00:15:54,746 Valet? 383 00:15:54,829 --> 00:15:56,539 Oh, yeah. 384 00:16:07,092 --> 00:16:09,135 Kimmel had a good one on you. 385 00:16:09,219 --> 00:16:11,805 Oh, yeah, and Colbert. He did a good five minutes on you. 386 00:16:11,888 --> 00:16:12,806 Great. 387 00:16:12,889 --> 00:16:14,057 For somebody who just wants 388 00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:15,475 a quiet life and to be left alone, 389 00:16:15,558 --> 00:16:17,227 you're not doing a very good job of it. 390 00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:18,770 Nah, I'm not, am I? 391 00:16:18,853 --> 00:16:20,855 Hey, talk is you're now taking to hate crimes. 392 00:16:20,939 --> 00:16:22,774 What next, the Klan? 393 00:16:22,857 --> 00:16:27,404 The studio! They wanted Will Smith to play Dundee Jr! 394 00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:28,405 Will Smith? 395 00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:29,406 Yeah! 396 00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:30,407 That's ridiculous! 397 00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:31,408 I know! 398 00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:32,492 I'll play Dundee. 399 00:16:32,575 --> 00:16:33,868 What, you thought I'd retired? 400 00:16:33,952 --> 00:16:35,745 I did Die Hard, for Chrissakes! 401 00:16:35,829 --> 00:16:36,746 I know. 402 00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:37,747 People love me! 403 00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:38,748 I know. 404 00:16:38,832 --> 00:16:39,749 Yo! Where's Urkel?! 405 00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:40,792 I did that too. 406 00:16:40,875 --> 00:16:42,252 Yeah, I know! 407 00:16:50,385 --> 00:16:52,846 Come on. 408 00:17:00,645 --> 00:17:02,480 Paul! Hi! 409 00:17:02,564 --> 00:17:05,024 Oh, Livvy! Hi! 410 00:17:05,108 --> 00:17:07,527 All right, see you. 411 00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:09,529 Good to see you! 412 00:17:09,612 --> 00:17:11,156 Oh, lovely! 413 00:17:11,239 --> 00:17:12,157 Oh, you know Reggie. 414 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:13,158 Of course I do. 415 00:17:13,241 --> 00:17:14,659 How are you? Nice to see you. 416 00:17:14,743 --> 00:17:17,203 I was just thinking about you the other day. 417 00:17:17,287 --> 00:17:18,329 Oh, really? 418 00:17:18,413 --> 00:17:19,539 Yeah. I was thinking we haven't 419 00:17:19,622 --> 00:17:20,749 seen each other for a long time 420 00:17:20,832 --> 00:17:22,000 and it's time we caught up. 421 00:17:22,083 --> 00:17:23,293 Yeah. That'd be great. 422 00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:24,919 Yeah. I've got a girlfriend coming 423 00:17:25,003 --> 00:17:27,130 to visit from home, Ella, in a couple of weeks. 424 00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:28,882 I thought that'd be a great time. 425 00:17:28,965 --> 00:17:30,508 Yeah. 426 00:17:30,592 --> 00:17:32,552 You know, I was just saying that he needs a woman. 427 00:17:32,635 --> 00:17:34,512 Perfect! 428 00:17:34,596 --> 00:17:37,682 So, um, what are you two guys doing next Tuesday night? 429 00:17:37,766 --> 00:17:39,934 Tuesday? Um... 430 00:17:40,018 --> 00:17:43,229 Yeah, I'm doing this charity thingy at my neighbor's school 431 00:17:43,313 --> 00:17:45,064 and it's gonna be a lot of fun. You should come. 432 00:17:45,148 --> 00:17:46,775 Oh. Yeah. 433 00:17:46,858 --> 00:17:48,318 John said he might come along, 434 00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:50,320 sing a couple of songs with me from Grease. 435 00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:52,739 And there's gonna be, like, face painting and art stalls 436 00:17:52,822 --> 00:17:54,866 and a barbie. You'll fit right in. 437 00:17:54,949 --> 00:17:57,410 Oh. Yeah. Yeah. 438 00:17:57,494 --> 00:17:59,370 Oh. Oh! Tuesday. 439 00:17:59,454 --> 00:18:02,040 Yeah, well, see, Tuesday, I've got, um... 440 00:18:03,541 --> 00:18:06,377 Pity... oh, pity it wasn't Wednesday. 441 00:18:06,461 --> 00:18:08,379 You know, 'cause if it had been Wednesday, 442 00:18:08,463 --> 00:18:09,881 I'd have been there with bells on. 443 00:18:09,964 --> 00:18:10,882 Yeah. 444 00:18:10,965 --> 00:18:11,925 Hold on! 445 00:18:12,008 --> 00:18:14,093 I think it is Wednesday! 446 00:18:14,928 --> 00:18:17,639 Oh. 447 00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:20,475 It is Wednesday. That's great. You can come. 448 00:18:20,558 --> 00:18:21,810 Perfect. 449 00:18:21,893 --> 00:18:24,103 But look. Here's a flyer. 450 00:18:24,187 --> 00:18:26,105 It's all about helping kids who can't help themselves. 451 00:18:26,189 --> 00:18:28,733 Oh. I think it'll be great you can go. 452 00:18:28,817 --> 00:18:30,485 After all of the bad press, 453 00:18:30,568 --> 00:18:33,279 being seen at some charity event is exactly what you need. 454 00:18:33,363 --> 00:18:34,823 Thanks. 455 00:18:34,906 --> 00:18:36,699 And, uh, maybe afterwards, we can take a selfie 456 00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:38,785 and remind the world how much we love you. 457 00:18:38,868 --> 00:18:39,786 Oh, yeah. 458 00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:41,955 Yeah. 459 00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:56,719 Everything all right, sir? 460 00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:59,180 Oh, yeah. Just looking for the valet. 461 00:19:00,598 --> 00:19:02,600 We don't have a valet. 462 00:19:02,684 --> 00:19:04,936 This is a supermarket. 463 00:19:29,210 --> 00:19:32,171 Hey, no. No filming unless you've got money. Come on. 464 00:19:32,255 --> 00:19:35,049 What have you got? You got $5? Or any coins or anything? 465 00:19:35,133 --> 00:19:38,344 Oh, yeah, I grew this after the movie. I'm the real guy. 466 00:19:38,428 --> 00:19:39,345 You want a photo? 467 00:19:39,429 --> 00:19:40,430 Who are you meant to be? 468 00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:42,473 Huh? Better than Batman, hey? 469 00:19:42,557 --> 00:19:44,976 Why don't you try picking on someone your own size? 470 00:19:45,059 --> 00:19:47,645 Oh, go away, grandad! Oh, come on! 471 00:19:48,396 --> 00:19:49,898 What? 472 00:19:49,981 --> 00:19:52,275 Well, at least stop being rude to the kids, Okay? 473 00:19:52,358 --> 00:19:54,319 Oh, wow! I thought you were dead! 474 00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:56,946 Well, I'm not, shit-for-brains. 475 00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:58,281 Oh! Okay. 476 00:19:58,364 --> 00:19:59,991 "Look out! He's got a knife!" 477 00:20:00,074 --> 00:20:02,577 Oh, yes. You have a knife, but mine's bigger. 478 00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:06,497 So, you want a photo? Come on! 479 00:20:06,581 --> 00:20:07,749 That's not the line! 480 00:20:07,832 --> 00:20:08,750 Yeah, it is. 481 00:20:08,833 --> 00:20:09,959 No, it's not! 482 00:20:10,043 --> 00:20:11,461 It's not the line! 483 00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:13,546 I've been doing this for 20 years. I think I'd know. 484 00:20:13,630 --> 00:20:15,173 What?! 485 00:20:15,256 --> 00:20:17,050 Go away. You're bad for my business. 486 00:20:17,133 --> 00:20:18,468 I am your business! 487 00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:20,011 Yeah, right! 488 00:20:21,304 --> 00:20:22,889 Hi. Uh... 489 00:20:22,972 --> 00:20:25,141 I would love to take the photo? 490 00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:26,225 Oh. Okay. 491 00:20:26,309 --> 00:20:27,226 Yes? 492 00:20:27,310 --> 00:20:28,227 Oh, just... 493 00:20:28,311 --> 00:20:29,228 Okay. Okay. 494 00:20:29,312 --> 00:20:30,813 Yeah. Come here. Okay. 495 00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:32,398 Come on! 496 00:20:32,482 --> 00:20:33,524 There you go. 497 00:20:34,984 --> 00:20:35,902 Oh! 498 00:20:35,985 --> 00:20:37,153 Thank you. 499 00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:39,238 I'll show her my knife later. Hey? 500 00:20:39,322 --> 00:20:41,282 You are such a sack of shit. 501 00:20:41,366 --> 00:20:43,534 Come on, boys! Hey? 502 00:20:43,618 --> 00:20:44,535 Ha! 503 00:20:44,619 --> 00:20:46,079 That's it! 504 00:20:46,162 --> 00:20:47,997 Oh, Wally! That's my boys! Yes! 505 00:20:48,081 --> 00:20:50,375 Yeah! How's that for the real thing? That's it! 506 00:20:56,798 --> 00:20:59,133 Crocodile Dundee star Paul Hogan 507 00:20:59,217 --> 00:21:02,053 tried to strangle a child today when what was seemingly 508 00:21:02,136 --> 00:21:04,055 a child's innocent request for a photo 509 00:21:04,138 --> 00:21:06,349 enraged the obviously troubled star. 510 00:21:06,432 --> 00:21:08,601 Oh! You little mongrel! 511 00:21:08,685 --> 00:21:10,687 I'll rip your little head off! 512 00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:12,313 Several onlookers, 513 00:21:12,397 --> 00:21:14,524 including Dorothy Springborg from Delaware, 514 00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:16,567 were almost caught up in the brawl. 515 00:21:16,651 --> 00:21:18,277 It was disgusting. 516 00:21:18,361 --> 00:21:20,655 These were innocent children, for heck's sake! 517 00:21:23,533 --> 00:21:27,495 Um... oh, well, it wasn't as bad as I thought. 518 00:21:27,578 --> 00:21:30,832 I... don't even feel like I know you anymore. 519 00:21:30,915 --> 00:21:32,959 I can't even look at you! 520 00:21:33,042 --> 00:21:35,336 I know. If you're worried about it, 521 00:21:35,420 --> 00:21:36,879 book me on one of them tonight shows. 522 00:21:36,963 --> 00:21:38,589 Book you on one of those tonight shows? 523 00:21:38,673 --> 00:21:40,258 I mean, apart from being a punchline 524 00:21:40,341 --> 00:21:41,676 in their monologues lately, 525 00:21:41,759 --> 00:21:43,344 they're not gonna have you on their show! 526 00:21:43,428 --> 00:21:44,762 God! 527 00:21:44,846 --> 00:21:46,347 All right, well, what about Ellen? 528 00:21:46,431 --> 00:21:49,100 No! And you've killed any chance of the knighthood. 529 00:21:49,183 --> 00:21:51,352 I mean, Paul, what were you thinking?! 530 00:21:51,436 --> 00:21:53,104 I don't care about a knighthood. 531 00:21:53,187 --> 00:21:55,440 But I do, Paul. I do. 532 00:21:55,523 --> 00:21:58,109 I thought we were meeting the Queen. And you agreed. 533 00:21:58,192 --> 00:22:00,278 No, no. I never agreed to any knighthood. 534 00:22:00,361 --> 00:22:01,946 But I told them that you did! 535 00:22:02,030 --> 00:22:03,698 Well, tell 'em I didn't. 536 00:22:03,781 --> 00:22:05,491 Seriously? You want me to cancel the knighthood? 537 00:22:05,575 --> 00:22:06,492 Absolutely. 538 00:22:06,576 --> 00:22:07,702 Want me to call the palace? 539 00:22:07,785 --> 00:22:09,078 Yeah, call it right now. 540 00:22:09,162 --> 00:22:10,079 And tell them no? 541 00:22:10,163 --> 00:22:11,080 Yep. 542 00:22:12,165 --> 00:22:13,082 Uh-huh. Oh, hang on. 543 00:22:14,792 --> 00:22:16,252 I don't know why I bother. 544 00:22:16,335 --> 00:22:17,920 I wish you wouldn't. 545 00:22:19,005 --> 00:22:21,507 Oi. You out of bread. 546 00:22:22,550 --> 00:22:24,343 I wonder why. 547 00:22:24,427 --> 00:22:25,720 Oh, hi, sweetie. 548 00:22:25,803 --> 00:22:27,680 Grandpa, are you getting a knighthood? 549 00:22:27,764 --> 00:22:29,140 Uh... 550 00:22:29,223 --> 00:22:30,808 'Cause Mum said you were, 551 00:22:30,892 --> 00:22:32,602 and I told some kids at my new school you were, 552 00:22:32,685 --> 00:22:34,562 and they laughed and said I'm a liar. 553 00:22:34,645 --> 00:22:36,439 I'm not a liar, am I, Grandpa? 554 00:22:36,522 --> 00:22:38,858 No. You're not a liar. 555 00:22:38,941 --> 00:22:41,736 You are getting a knighthood? 556 00:22:41,819 --> 00:22:44,781 Uh... y... uh, yeah, services to comedy. 557 00:22:44,864 --> 00:22:47,075 Yes! I knew it! Bye, Pa! 558 00:22:47,158 --> 00:22:48,117 Bye, love. 559 00:22:50,328 --> 00:22:51,871 Oh, what a web we weave! 560 00:22:53,164 --> 00:22:55,541 Ha. Just called the palace. 561 00:22:55,625 --> 00:22:58,336 They're really not happy. 562 00:22:58,419 --> 00:23:00,421 Oh. Uh, see, here's the thing... 563 00:23:00,505 --> 00:23:01,589 No. 564 00:23:01,672 --> 00:23:02,882 You'll have to call 'em back. 565 00:23:02,965 --> 00:23:04,175 No! 566 00:23:04,258 --> 00:23:06,052 Well, Lucy thinks I'm getting it. 567 00:23:06,135 --> 00:23:08,012 I'm gonna look like an idiot! 568 00:23:08,096 --> 00:23:09,430 Well, she told the kids at school. 569 00:23:09,514 --> 00:23:10,431 They'll get over it. 570 00:23:10,515 --> 00:23:11,432 No, they won't. 571 00:23:11,516 --> 00:23:12,433 It's a new school. 572 00:23:12,517 --> 00:23:13,476 She's trying to make friends. 573 00:23:13,559 --> 00:23:14,811 It's not happening. 574 00:23:14,894 --> 00:23:16,521 What about my, uh, legacy? 575 00:23:16,604 --> 00:23:19,273 You know, uh... put Australia on the map, had a TV show... 576 00:23:19,357 --> 00:23:21,400 Oh, and you always good with the ladies! 577 00:23:21,484 --> 00:23:23,569 Good with the la... ladies. 578 00:23:23,653 --> 00:23:25,404 Okay, fine! I will call them. 579 00:23:25,488 --> 00:23:27,448 But I am telling them you're an idiot. 580 00:23:27,532 --> 00:23:30,243 Great. Great. Love ya! 581 00:23:39,836 --> 00:23:41,796 Wow. 582 00:23:41,879 --> 00:23:45,216 Is two o'clock. Is time for your siesta. 583 00:23:45,299 --> 00:23:48,094 Come on, Paddy. Help me cut the grass. 584 00:23:57,687 --> 00:23:58,855 Ah. 585 00:24:02,191 --> 00:24:03,776 Oh. 586 00:24:06,112 --> 00:24:07,238 Wayne? 587 00:24:07,321 --> 00:24:08,990 I need somewhere to stay. 588 00:24:09,073 --> 00:24:11,367 Carol is driving me crazy! 589 00:24:11,450 --> 00:24:13,369 She keeps saying I'm too loud! 590 00:24:13,452 --> 00:24:14,412 Too loud? 591 00:24:14,495 --> 00:24:15,788 Yeah! 592 00:24:15,872 --> 00:24:17,623 And... and... and the kids are crying. 593 00:24:17,707 --> 00:24:19,250 Crying? Uh... 594 00:24:19,333 --> 00:24:21,377 I just need someplace quiet. For a couple of days. 595 00:24:21,460 --> 00:24:23,462 Uh... it's not really a good time... 596 00:24:23,546 --> 00:24:25,131 Well, you won't even know I'm here! 597 00:24:25,214 --> 00:24:28,509 I start rehearsals on Broadway soon! 598 00:24:28,593 --> 00:24:29,844 I-I need to practice. 599 00:24:29,927 --> 00:24:32,305 Oh, oh, oh, oh! 600 00:24:34,390 --> 00:24:35,892 If Carol asks... 601 00:24:35,975 --> 00:24:37,977 you haven't seen me. Yeah? 602 00:24:55,077 --> 00:24:56,704 Ahh. 603 00:24:59,749 --> 00:25:01,792 ♪ Hello, my baby, hello, my honey 604 00:25:01,876 --> 00:25:04,003 ♪ Hello, my ragtime gal 605 00:25:04,086 --> 00:25:06,339 ♪ Send me a kiss by wire 606 00:25:06,422 --> 00:25:08,424 ♪ Baby, my heart's on fire 607 00:25:08,507 --> 00:25:10,968 ♪ If you refuse me, honey, you'll lose me 608 00:25:11,052 --> 00:25:12,678 ♪ Then you'll be left alone 609 00:25:12,762 --> 00:25:17,725 ♪ Oh, baby, telephone and tell me I'm your own! ♪ 610 00:25:28,694 --> 00:25:29,612 ♪ Hello, my baby 611 00:25:30,696 --> 00:25:32,240 ♪ Hello, my ragtime 612 00:25:32,323 --> 00:25:33,449 ♪ Send me a kiss 613 00:25:34,659 --> 00:25:36,369 ♪ Baby, my heart's on fire... ♪ 614 00:25:39,413 --> 00:25:41,749 Wait. So he sings? 615 00:25:41,832 --> 00:25:44,126 Yeah. And he also tap-dances. 616 00:25:44,210 --> 00:25:45,127 Oh. 617 00:25:45,211 --> 00:25:46,170 Evidently. 618 00:25:46,254 --> 00:25:47,713 Cop it. 619 00:25:47,797 --> 00:25:49,715 ♪ Send me a kiss by wire Baby, my heart's... ♪ 620 00:25:49,799 --> 00:25:53,803 Paul, you have three showers. Why is he using your ensuite? 621 00:25:53,886 --> 00:25:57,139 Oh, he said the acoustics are better in my bathroom. 622 00:25:57,223 --> 00:25:58,975 Oh, what time is the Olivia thing? 623 00:25:59,058 --> 00:26:00,977 Oh. That's now. 624 00:26:01,060 --> 00:26:03,562 You know, I am so glad you're doing this. 625 00:26:03,646 --> 00:26:06,232 And I really think people are starting to forget 626 00:26:06,315 --> 00:26:08,150 that you threw a snake at those bystanders. 627 00:26:08,234 --> 00:26:10,194 And that you tried to beat up those kids. 628 00:26:10,278 --> 00:26:11,946 And the Will Smith thing. 629 00:26:12,029 --> 00:26:14,073 But I honestly think it's almost all behind us. 630 00:26:14,156 --> 00:26:16,784 So it's the perfect time to be seen with the lovely Livvy 631 00:26:16,867 --> 00:26:18,327 doing something for the kids. 632 00:26:18,411 --> 00:26:20,121 Oh, yeah, that'll be fun. 633 00:26:20,204 --> 00:26:21,998 Oh, do you want me to organize a lift for you or something? 634 00:26:22,081 --> 00:26:23,749 Oh, no, I've booked a car. Thanks. 635 00:26:23,833 --> 00:26:25,084 Okay. 636 00:26:25,167 --> 00:26:27,211 Oh, and Paul, I'm really sorry 637 00:26:27,295 --> 00:26:29,797 I've been so crazy about this whole knighthood thing. 638 00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:32,425 I am just so proud of you and the fact that I... 639 00:26:32,508 --> 00:26:33,426 Oh, there's my car now. 640 00:26:33,509 --> 00:26:34,427 get to be there with you... 641 00:26:34,510 --> 00:26:36,095 I'd better go. 642 00:26:36,178 --> 00:26:38,306 Hey, uh, give my love to your mum. 643 00:26:39,515 --> 00:26:41,517 Rude! 644 00:26:54,030 --> 00:26:55,448 Paul! 645 00:26:55,531 --> 00:26:56,574 John? 646 00:27:05,750 --> 00:27:06,667 Mint? 647 00:27:06,751 --> 00:27:08,085 Oh, uh, no, thanks. 648 00:27:08,169 --> 00:27:09,545 Is the air all right? 649 00:27:09,628 --> 00:27:11,088 Oh, yeah, excellent, John. 650 00:27:11,172 --> 00:27:13,007 Good. Oh. Bottle of water? 651 00:27:13,090 --> 00:27:14,759 Oh, yes. Thank you. 652 00:27:14,842 --> 00:27:16,594 Yeah, I love it. 653 00:27:16,677 --> 00:27:19,930 You know, I don't get stuck behind a desk, I'm my own boss, 654 00:27:20,014 --> 00:27:22,058 I get to meet interesting people, 655 00:27:22,141 --> 00:27:25,144 and, uh... let's face it, these days, 656 00:27:25,227 --> 00:27:30,232 romantic leads for 79-year-old actors are few and far between. 657 00:27:30,316 --> 00:27:31,275 Mm-hm. 658 00:27:31,359 --> 00:27:32,860 Tch! Hollywood! 659 00:27:32,943 --> 00:27:34,403 You'd know all about that, eh? 660 00:27:34,487 --> 00:27:35,738 Yes, I... 661 00:27:36,989 --> 00:27:39,825 You steaming turd! 662 00:27:42,203 --> 00:27:43,120 Um... 663 00:27:43,204 --> 00:27:44,246 Hmm? 664 00:27:44,330 --> 00:27:45,873 I don't mean to be nosy, but, uh... 665 00:27:45,956 --> 00:27:47,875 you know, you're happy driving and everything. 666 00:27:47,958 --> 00:27:51,253 Uh... what happened after all your success? I... 667 00:27:51,337 --> 00:27:54,965 Oh, the money. Uh, well, you know, alimony. 668 00:27:55,049 --> 00:27:55,966 Oh. 669 00:27:56,050 --> 00:27:57,510 Parties. 670 00:27:57,593 --> 00:28:00,429 Drugs. Gambling. 671 00:28:00,513 --> 00:28:02,348 Hookers. 672 00:28:02,431 --> 00:28:06,143 Prostitutes. Ladies of the night. 673 00:28:07,770 --> 00:28:09,939 No, no, I'm being silly. I never gamble. 674 00:28:10,022 --> 00:28:12,233 All right, here we are. 675 00:28:29,708 --> 00:28:32,128 Huh. It looks bigger than I thought. 676 00:28:32,211 --> 00:28:36,298 ♪ When you're facing All kinds of trouble ♪ 677 00:28:36,382 --> 00:28:38,634 Just hang on a sec. 678 00:28:40,302 --> 00:28:43,472 "A charity concert for disadvantaged children." 679 00:28:43,556 --> 00:28:47,059 Ah. "Helping kids who can't help themselves." 680 00:28:47,143 --> 00:28:48,477 Thanks, Johnno. 681 00:28:48,561 --> 00:28:49,770 Okay. 682 00:28:57,069 --> 00:28:58,612 Mr. Hogan. 683 00:28:58,696 --> 00:28:59,613 Why are you here? 684 00:28:59,697 --> 00:29:01,031 Oh, Olivia asked me to come. 685 00:29:01,115 --> 00:29:02,700 But... why here? 686 00:29:02,783 --> 00:29:06,704 Oh, to help. To help these unfortunate little people. 687 00:29:06,787 --> 00:29:10,249 And they need all the help they can get. You know? 688 00:29:10,332 --> 00:29:12,877 I mean, they've had a raw deal out of life, 689 00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:15,796 and... it's up to us to try and help 'em. 690 00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:16,839 Mm-hm. 691 00:29:19,842 --> 00:29:21,635 ♪ Give it up ♪ 692 00:29:21,719 --> 00:29:24,805 ♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪ 693 00:29:24,889 --> 00:29:26,390 Oh, really? 694 00:29:26,474 --> 00:29:28,184 Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I don't pity them. 695 00:29:28,267 --> 00:29:31,270 They're having a little, uh... concert in here tonight, 696 00:29:31,353 --> 00:29:33,898 and some of 'em are gonna get up and try and sing. 697 00:29:33,981 --> 00:29:35,983 Try and sing? 698 00:29:36,066 --> 00:29:37,318 Okay... 699 00:29:37,401 --> 00:29:38,861 Oh, my pl... my pleasure. 700 00:29:38,944 --> 00:29:40,821 Uh, Mr. Hogan, do you mind 701 00:29:40,905 --> 00:29:43,115 clarifying some of your comments tonight? 702 00:29:43,199 --> 00:29:44,825 Oh, it's pretty simple. 703 00:29:44,909 --> 00:29:48,412 I'm here to help those less fortunate than I am 704 00:29:48,496 --> 00:29:51,165 and, um... help them in any way I can. 705 00:29:51,248 --> 00:29:52,458 "Help"? 706 00:29:52,541 --> 00:29:53,501 Yeah. 707 00:29:53,584 --> 00:29:54,502 You're trying to help? 708 00:29:54,585 --> 00:29:55,461 Yeah. 709 00:29:56,629 --> 00:29:57,922 Paul? 710 00:30:05,679 --> 00:30:07,640 Thank you, Mr. Hogan. 711 00:30:11,352 --> 00:30:12,770 Did he just say what... 712 00:30:12,853 --> 00:30:13,979 No. I'm not... 713 00:30:27,910 --> 00:30:29,745 You're here! 714 00:30:29,828 --> 00:30:31,830 Anything for you, Livvy. And the kids. 715 00:30:31,914 --> 00:30:33,374 Of course. 716 00:30:33,457 --> 00:30:35,626 Sister Mary, I'd like you to meet Paul. 717 00:30:35,709 --> 00:30:37,878 Sister Mary is our wonderful fundraiser. 718 00:30:37,962 --> 00:30:40,839 It's a great pleasure to meet you, Mr. Dundee. 719 00:30:40,923 --> 00:30:42,675 Oh. Pleasure to meet you too Mary. 720 00:30:43,968 --> 00:30:45,886 It's John. I need a favor. 721 00:31:10,119 --> 00:31:14,081 ♪ I got chills, they're multiplyin' 722 00:31:14,164 --> 00:31:17,710 ♪ And I'm losing control 723 00:31:17,793 --> 00:31:18,711 Lose control, baby! 724 00:31:20,004 --> 00:31:23,173 ♪ 'Cause the power you're supplyin' 725 00:31:23,257 --> 00:31:25,801 ♪ It's electrifyin' 726 00:31:25,884 --> 00:31:27,928 Where's Johnny? 727 00:31:28,012 --> 00:31:29,388 ♪ You'd better shape up 728 00:31:30,723 --> 00:31:32,683 ♪ 'Cause I need a man 729 00:31:32,766 --> 00:31:34,184 What the hell is this?! 730 00:31:34,268 --> 00:31:36,020 ♪ And my heart is set on you 731 00:31:36,103 --> 00:31:37,354 Get off the damn stage! 732 00:31:37,438 --> 00:31:38,355 ♪ Shape up 733 00:31:38,439 --> 00:31:40,107 Boo! You're not Johnny T! 734 00:31:40,190 --> 00:31:41,692 ♪ You'd better understand 735 00:31:41,775 --> 00:31:43,235 You're ruining the show, man! Where's Johnny T?! 736 00:31:43,319 --> 00:31:44,695 I hate you! 737 00:31:44,778 --> 00:31:46,405 Get off the damn stage, popsicle! 738 00:31:46,488 --> 00:31:48,365 ♪ Nothing left for me to do 739 00:31:48,449 --> 00:31:50,492 ♪ You're the one that I want 740 00:31:50,576 --> 00:31:52,745 Boo! God, get off the stage! 741 00:31:52,828 --> 00:31:54,163 You're not the one that we want! 742 00:31:54,246 --> 00:31:55,205 Where's Johnny T?! 743 00:31:55,289 --> 00:31:56,248 Where's Johnny?! 744 00:31:56,332 --> 00:31:57,833 Please calm down. 745 00:31:57,916 --> 00:32:00,127 I'm sorry, Sister. You got Jesus, we got Johnny! 746 00:32:00,210 --> 00:32:02,004 We did not ask for this tragedy! 747 00:32:02,087 --> 00:32:04,548 You have no idea how much he loves Johnny! 748 00:32:04,632 --> 00:32:06,050 Sister, you have Jesus, we have Johnny! 749 00:32:06,133 --> 00:32:07,176 This is not... 750 00:32:07,259 --> 00:32:08,344 Hey, don't cry, honey. 751 00:32:08,427 --> 00:32:09,386 I'm gonna get up there 752 00:32:09,470 --> 00:32:10,596 and kick the grease outta you! 753 00:32:10,679 --> 00:32:11,680 Do something! 754 00:32:11,764 --> 00:32:12,681 I'm doing it! 755 00:32:30,658 --> 00:32:32,076 He's killed a nun! 756 00:32:32,159 --> 00:32:33,661 He's killed a nun! 757 00:32:33,744 --> 00:32:35,162 Oh, you're going to hell now, buddy. 758 00:32:35,245 --> 00:32:37,956 Burn! Burn in hell! 759 00:32:38,040 --> 00:32:39,124 It's okay, babe. 760 00:32:42,836 --> 00:32:43,796 She's alive! 761 00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:46,423 She's alive! 762 00:33:17,538 --> 00:33:18,997 Ow! 763 00:33:19,081 --> 00:33:20,457 Ooh! 764 00:33:22,835 --> 00:33:25,170 No, no, no! I'm Luke! 765 00:33:25,254 --> 00:33:26,922 I'm a wedding photographer! 766 00:33:27,005 --> 00:33:28,674 I'm from Indiana! 767 00:33:28,757 --> 00:33:29,883 And? 768 00:33:29,967 --> 00:33:31,802 Um... 769 00:33:31,885 --> 00:33:33,303 That's, uh... 770 00:33:33,387 --> 00:33:34,763 That's all I got. 771 00:33:34,847 --> 00:33:38,016 What was so interesting up my tree? 772 00:33:38,100 --> 00:33:39,768 Okay, look. 773 00:33:39,852 --> 00:33:42,396 I, uh... I was a wedding photographer. 774 00:33:42,479 --> 00:33:44,815 Till I messed things up. I went to the wrong wedding. 775 00:33:44,898 --> 00:33:47,067 Oh, the other photographer got so mad at me, 776 00:33:47,151 --> 00:33:49,027 and then no-one would hire me. 777 00:33:49,111 --> 00:33:51,864 But then my mom, she got me a job at a magazine. 778 00:33:51,947 --> 00:33:54,783 So, I go out, they ask me to go get a photo of Eric Bana, 779 00:33:54,867 --> 00:33:56,201 'cause he was visiting our town, 780 00:33:56,285 --> 00:33:57,870 but I got confused. 781 00:33:57,953 --> 00:34:00,038 I went and got a picture of Eric Banana. 782 00:34:00,122 --> 00:34:02,416 The fruit king. Do you know him? 783 00:34:02,499 --> 00:34:05,043 He knows so much about fruit! 784 00:34:05,127 --> 00:34:07,296 After that, my boss, he just suggested 785 00:34:07,379 --> 00:34:10,132 that I should just move far away, you know, maybe to LA, 786 00:34:10,215 --> 00:34:13,218 and become a... freelance paparazzo. 787 00:34:13,302 --> 00:34:15,262 Oh, great. That's what we need. 788 00:34:15,345 --> 00:34:17,473 Another idiot taking photos of me. 789 00:34:17,556 --> 00:34:20,726 Actually, no, I'm trying to get a photo of Kim Kardashian. 790 00:34:20,809 --> 00:34:23,353 But, yeah, I can't find where her house is. 791 00:34:23,437 --> 00:34:25,439 She is so sneaky. 792 00:34:25,522 --> 00:34:29,443 Anyway, I took the star tour and we went past here. 793 00:34:29,526 --> 00:34:32,821 Oh, so I'm still on the star map, am I? 794 00:34:32,905 --> 00:34:36,074 No. No, you're not. But you know who is? 795 00:34:36,158 --> 00:34:38,368 Bob Saget from Full House! 796 00:34:38,452 --> 00:34:40,454 He's, like, your neighbor! 797 00:34:40,537 --> 00:34:42,998 We all got out. We were taking pictures of his place. 798 00:34:43,081 --> 00:34:44,374 It was so awesome. 799 00:34:44,458 --> 00:34:46,710 Yeah, and then I looked over and I saw you. 800 00:34:46,794 --> 00:34:48,587 You were, like, getting your trash cans or something. 801 00:34:48,670 --> 00:34:50,714 And I was like, "Hey! That's Paul Hogan!" 802 00:34:50,798 --> 00:34:52,382 And then the driver was like, "No. 803 00:34:52,466 --> 00:34:54,092 "No, that's not Paul Hogan. He's dead." 804 00:34:54,176 --> 00:34:55,719 He said that? 805 00:34:55,803 --> 00:34:56,804 Yeah. 806 00:34:56,887 --> 00:34:59,389 I'm glad you're not dead, Paul. 807 00:34:59,473 --> 00:35:02,601 Look, uh... listen, I don't want to do this. I'm... 808 00:35:02,684 --> 00:35:05,729 It's just... you're the only celebrity friend I have. 809 00:35:05,813 --> 00:35:09,650 Do you know, maybe? Do you know where Kim Kardashian lives? 810 00:35:11,193 --> 00:35:12,736 Look, if you're looking for celebrities, 811 00:35:12,820 --> 00:35:14,404 go down to Melrose Avenue. 812 00:35:14,488 --> 00:35:15,823 That's where they all hang out. 813 00:35:15,906 --> 00:35:17,574 Okay. Okay. 814 00:35:17,658 --> 00:35:19,409 Or you know what? I could stay here. 815 00:35:19,493 --> 00:35:20,410 No. 816 00:35:20,494 --> 00:35:21,411 Aw! 817 00:35:21,495 --> 00:35:23,288 No? It's fine. Okay. 818 00:35:23,372 --> 00:35:25,749 Do you... What's the best way to get to this Melrose? 819 00:35:25,833 --> 00:35:26,834 Drive there. 820 00:35:26,917 --> 00:35:28,293 Drive there? Got it. 821 00:35:28,377 --> 00:35:29,920 I don't have a car. 822 00:35:30,003 --> 00:35:31,421 Bloody hell. 823 00:35:31,505 --> 00:35:33,006 You know what? That's fine. 824 00:35:33,090 --> 00:35:35,050 That's fine. I can hitch. 825 00:35:35,133 --> 00:35:36,802 It works. 826 00:35:36,885 --> 00:35:41,807 All right. So, I will do that. I'll just get my... my stuff. 827 00:35:41,890 --> 00:35:44,268 Ohh! 828 00:35:44,351 --> 00:35:46,019 It's... Whoo! 829 00:35:46,103 --> 00:35:48,438 Don't worry about me. It's not as heavy as it looks. 830 00:35:48,522 --> 00:35:49,982 It's all good. 831 00:35:50,065 --> 00:35:51,942 Uh... 832 00:35:52,025 --> 00:35:53,402 That way. 833 00:35:53,485 --> 00:35:55,904 Of course it is. 834 00:35:55,988 --> 00:35:57,573 Wish I would have known that earlier. 835 00:35:57,656 --> 00:35:59,575 This is not a backpack. Ohh! 836 00:35:59,658 --> 00:36:01,827 All right, well, hey, it was great meeting you, Paul. 837 00:36:01,910 --> 00:36:03,662 Okay. 838 00:36:05,998 --> 00:36:07,541 Did you say something? 839 00:36:09,751 --> 00:36:11,753 I thought you said "aww." I heard some "aww." 840 00:36:11,837 --> 00:36:14,172 No. No. No. 841 00:36:16,425 --> 00:36:18,677 I really wish we could hang out longer. 842 00:36:18,760 --> 00:36:20,429 But I gotta get going. 843 00:36:32,608 --> 00:36:34,443 ♪ I'm your all! ♪ 844 00:36:34,526 --> 00:36:36,194 Though, the police vow they will continue 845 00:36:36,278 --> 00:36:37,863 to search for the Phantom Valet, 846 00:36:37,946 --> 00:36:41,199 claiming he has now stolen upwards of 85 motor vehicles. 847 00:36:41,283 --> 00:36:44,786 In other news, it was all the talk of the BT Awards tonight 848 00:36:44,870 --> 00:36:46,955 when ex-movie star Paul Hogan 849 00:36:47,039 --> 00:36:48,790 got himself in a lot of trouble. 850 00:36:48,874 --> 00:36:50,417 Mr. Hogan, why are you here? 851 00:36:50,500 --> 00:36:53,670 To help these unfortunate little people. 852 00:36:53,754 --> 00:36:55,505 And they need all the help they can g... 853 00:36:55,589 --> 00:36:58,133 I'm an ambassador for Australia, Okay, for tourism, 854 00:36:58,216 --> 00:37:02,304 but... to be honest... you know, I... 855 00:37:02,387 --> 00:37:04,890 ...I've started telling people I'm from New Zealand. 856 00:37:04,973 --> 00:37:08,352 Yeah, I... I even married one. You know? So... 857 00:37:08,435 --> 00:37:11,563 Look, I don't know what Hogan's problem is. 858 00:37:11,647 --> 00:37:13,982 Uh, maybe he thinks it's funny, I don't know. 859 00:37:14,066 --> 00:37:15,776 But, you know, as with Lightning Jack, 860 00:37:15,859 --> 00:37:17,319 no-one else is laughing. 861 00:37:17,402 --> 00:37:19,529 I was with some friends the other night. 862 00:37:19,613 --> 00:37:22,783 Mike Tyson, Mickey Rourke, Charlie Sheen. 863 00:37:23,742 --> 00:37:25,327 We all agreed 864 00:37:25,410 --> 00:37:29,581 that no-one's fallen from grace as hard as Paul Hogan. 865 00:37:31,124 --> 00:37:33,335 It's embarrassing. Is it the drugs? 866 00:37:42,010 --> 00:37:43,762 Oh, bummer. 867 00:37:43,845 --> 00:37:46,390 Oh, well. You're happy here, aren't you? 868 00:37:50,268 --> 00:37:53,730 Australia. There's no place like it. 869 00:37:53,814 --> 00:37:56,024 I'll see you next week, Barry. 870 00:37:56,108 --> 00:37:59,111 Not a lot of crocs out here, huh? 871 00:37:59,194 --> 00:38:03,073 Just 37,000 miles of pristine, beautiful beach, mate. 872 00:38:03,156 --> 00:38:04,491 Like I don't know that! 873 00:38:18,380 --> 00:38:20,549 Alrighty, guys. Good morning. 874 00:38:20,632 --> 00:38:22,634 You ready to feel the burn in your legs and in your soul? 875 00:38:22,718 --> 00:38:25,429 Let's go! G'day, man. How are you, mate? 876 00:38:25,512 --> 00:38:28,807 Ready, guys? Limber up and get ready. 877 00:38:28,890 --> 00:38:30,726 Kick! One. Two. 878 00:38:30,809 --> 00:38:33,729 Three. Feel the burn. Feel the pain. 879 00:38:33,812 --> 00:38:35,731 It's gonna hurt. Not gonna lie. 880 00:38:42,362 --> 00:38:45,741 Bring in the energy. 881 00:38:48,160 --> 00:38:50,620 Bit of this. Bit of that. 882 00:38:50,704 --> 00:38:53,081 He teaches aerobics now? 883 00:38:55,625 --> 00:38:57,002 Come on! 884 00:38:57,085 --> 00:38:58,754 Squat! Squat! 885 00:39:00,464 --> 00:39:01,965 Hey, Dad. 886 00:39:02,049 --> 00:39:03,842 You want some breakfast? 887 00:39:03,925 --> 00:39:05,510 Nah. Nah, I'm right. I got this. 888 00:39:05,594 --> 00:39:07,763 Why don't you put your gear on and come out? 889 00:39:07,846 --> 00:39:09,473 Uh, yeah. 890 00:39:10,432 --> 00:39:11,933 All right. 891 00:39:12,017 --> 00:39:17,105 Hold. Pulse. Pulse. Pulse. Pulse. 892 00:39:24,863 --> 00:39:26,823 What do you reckon, guys? 893 00:39:28,825 --> 00:39:31,703 Very nice. Very, very nice. 894 00:39:31,787 --> 00:39:35,582 The woman is 81 years old and a nun. 895 00:39:35,665 --> 00:39:38,168 I just need to know, why? 896 00:39:38,251 --> 00:39:39,169 Ha! 897 00:39:39,252 --> 00:39:40,170 She was annoying me. 898 00:39:40,253 --> 00:39:41,171 She was annoying you?! 899 00:39:41,254 --> 00:39:42,172 No! 900 00:39:42,255 --> 00:39:43,423 Look, it was an accident. 901 00:39:43,507 --> 00:39:45,842 Okay. So, just so I get this right 902 00:39:45,926 --> 00:39:47,761 when I call the palace, 903 00:39:47,844 --> 00:39:51,098 you, um, threw a deadly snake at a fifth-grade teacher, 904 00:39:51,181 --> 00:39:53,433 insulted an African-American superstar, 905 00:39:53,517 --> 00:39:55,102 attempted to beat up two children, 906 00:39:55,185 --> 00:39:56,686 offended the entire black community 907 00:39:56,770 --> 00:39:58,230 and knocked out a nun? 908 00:39:58,313 --> 00:39:59,564 What am I forgetting here? 909 00:39:59,648 --> 00:40:01,149 Why are you calling the palace? 910 00:40:01,233 --> 00:40:03,443 I'm calling the palace to cancel the knighthood! 911 00:40:03,527 --> 00:40:07,197 Before they find out about you and do it for us. 912 00:40:07,280 --> 00:40:10,367 Paul, I am trying to get out of this 913 00:40:10,450 --> 00:40:13,578 with a teeny-tiny amount of dignity. 914 00:40:15,997 --> 00:40:17,999 Okay, what time is it in London right now? 915 00:40:18,083 --> 00:40:21,628 Uh, no. Don't call the palace. Don't cancel the knighthood. 916 00:40:21,711 --> 00:40:23,088 I promised Lucy. 917 00:40:23,171 --> 00:40:24,548 Okay, fine. Fine. 918 00:40:24,631 --> 00:40:26,758 I'm just... I'm amazed that the media 919 00:40:26,842 --> 00:40:28,802 hasn't picked up on this story yet. 920 00:40:28,885 --> 00:40:31,304 And thank God she's okay. This woman, this, um, Sister... 921 00:40:31,388 --> 00:40:32,973 Mary Murphy. 922 00:40:33,056 --> 00:40:34,015 Mary Murphy. 923 00:40:34,099 --> 00:40:35,600 And do you know why 924 00:40:35,684 --> 00:40:37,686 the media hasn't picked up on the story yet? 925 00:40:37,769 --> 00:40:42,732 Because I have been up since 2am calling every contact I know. 926 00:40:42,816 --> 00:40:44,192 I... 927 00:40:44,276 --> 00:40:45,569 Are you even listening to me? 928 00:40:45,652 --> 00:40:47,154 Yeah. Yeah, sure. 929 00:40:47,237 --> 00:40:48,905 What are you... Hey! 930 00:40:48,989 --> 00:40:50,782 I have been up all night calling in favors, 931 00:40:50,866 --> 00:40:52,409 a lot of which I am really not proud of, 932 00:40:52,492 --> 00:40:54,411 all so they wouldn't run this story! 933 00:40:54,494 --> 00:40:57,038 Oh, yeah. Look, I appreciate that too. 934 00:40:57,122 --> 00:40:58,707 But I was thinking, um, 935 00:40:58,790 --> 00:41:01,209 why don't you try and get me on some of the tonight shows? 936 00:41:01,293 --> 00:41:02,919 What? No! No. 937 00:41:03,003 --> 00:41:06,047 Forget the tonight shows. They're not interested. 938 00:41:06,131 --> 00:41:09,301 And, Paul, why do you want to draw more attention to yourself? 939 00:41:10,468 --> 00:41:11,761 Okay, I'll tell you what. 940 00:41:11,845 --> 00:41:14,890 I will hold off on calling the palace 941 00:41:14,973 --> 00:41:17,225 if you agree to have lunch 942 00:41:17,309 --> 00:41:19,603 with someone who is willing to get you off the front pages. 943 00:41:19,686 --> 00:41:21,396 Who? 944 00:41:21,479 --> 00:41:24,399 A decent, respectable, dignified man. 945 00:41:24,482 --> 00:41:25,817 Oh. Some actor. 946 00:41:25,901 --> 00:41:28,695 No, an acrobat. Yes, an actor! 947 00:41:28,778 --> 00:41:31,531 Look, I don't want to have lunch with some actor. 948 00:41:31,615 --> 00:41:33,241 I don't have lunch with anybody. 949 00:41:33,325 --> 00:41:35,911 Well, if you don't want me to cancel the knighthood, 950 00:41:35,994 --> 00:41:37,329 you're going. 951 00:41:37,412 --> 00:41:40,165 I mean, he's willing to sit down with you 952 00:41:40,248 --> 00:41:44,377 and spend time to explain what it's like to be respectful 953 00:41:44,461 --> 00:41:46,671 and... and someone... who... 954 00:41:50,550 --> 00:41:52,260 You're on TV right now, aren't you? 955 00:41:55,305 --> 00:41:56,973 How bad is it? 956 00:41:57,057 --> 00:41:59,309 Uh... 957 00:41:59,392 --> 00:42:02,354 Yeah, Okay, so, where am I gonna have lunch with this guy? 958 00:42:02,437 --> 00:42:03,939 Oh, God. 959 00:42:15,492 --> 00:42:17,160 Paul! 960 00:42:17,953 --> 00:42:19,537 Oh. Chevy. 961 00:42:22,123 --> 00:42:23,875 Ah. Oh. 962 00:42:23,959 --> 00:42:25,585 This is, uh, pretty nice. 963 00:42:25,669 --> 00:42:28,421 Oh, yeah. Nice atmosphere, great food. 964 00:42:28,505 --> 00:42:30,298 Can I take... 965 00:42:31,424 --> 00:42:32,592 Oh, my goodness! 966 00:42:32,676 --> 00:42:33,635 Oh! 967 00:42:33,718 --> 00:42:34,719 Lovely to meet you. 968 00:42:34,803 --> 00:42:36,221 Oh! 969 00:42:36,304 --> 00:42:37,639 I just have to say, 970 00:42:37,722 --> 00:42:39,641 watching you perform on Saturday Night Live 971 00:42:39,724 --> 00:42:41,268 made me want to become a comedian. 972 00:42:41,351 --> 00:42:43,520 Oh. How's that working out for you? 973 00:42:43,603 --> 00:42:47,107 Well, I'm working here as a waitress, so... not so great. 974 00:42:47,190 --> 00:42:49,442 Well, it takes intense training. 975 00:42:49,526 --> 00:42:53,488 But still, um... can I please buy you a drink on the house? 976 00:42:53,571 --> 00:42:54,948 Oh, that'd be lovely. 977 00:42:55,031 --> 00:42:58,410 How about a glass, um... Brown Brothers SMC? 978 00:42:58,493 --> 00:43:01,454 Oh, I love it. I love it. Paul, would you... 979 00:43:01,538 --> 00:43:03,581 Yeah, I'll... I'll have the same, thanks. 980 00:43:04,916 --> 00:43:07,294 You are aware that is $40 a glass? 981 00:43:07,377 --> 00:43:09,296 Sure. 982 00:43:12,590 --> 00:43:14,217 You... do know who this is? 983 00:43:14,301 --> 00:43:15,552 Yep. 984 00:43:18,179 --> 00:43:20,598 Wow. You've really been through the wars, haven't you? 985 00:43:22,100 --> 00:43:24,102 Nah, it's fine. It's just, my manager... 986 00:43:24,185 --> 00:43:25,895 People ask me constantly, 987 00:43:25,979 --> 00:43:28,106 how is it that I'm so loved and adored? 988 00:43:28,189 --> 00:43:30,025 And, you know, it's actually quite easy. 989 00:43:30,108 --> 00:43:31,735 How? 990 00:43:31,818 --> 00:43:34,571 Just win an Oscar. 991 00:43:34,654 --> 00:43:36,197 Ah. 992 00:43:36,281 --> 00:43:38,533 Wh... what did you win an Oscar for? 993 00:43:38,616 --> 00:43:40,910 Caddyshack. First one. 994 00:43:40,994 --> 00:43:42,370 Uh-huh. 995 00:43:42,454 --> 00:43:43,496 Yeah. 996 00:43:43,580 --> 00:43:44,748 You win one of those suckers, 997 00:43:44,831 --> 00:43:46,041 you can do just about anything. 998 00:43:46,124 --> 00:43:47,500 Really? 999 00:43:51,171 --> 00:43:52,339 Huh. 1000 00:43:52,422 --> 00:43:53,506 Are you okay, Mr. Chase? 1001 00:43:53,590 --> 00:43:55,175 Yes. You need to have these fixed. 1002 00:43:55,258 --> 00:43:57,510 It just slid right off the table. 1003 00:43:58,470 --> 00:43:59,846 Certainly. 1004 00:43:59,929 --> 00:44:02,807 I'll talk to the owner about... gluing them on. 1005 00:44:06,978 --> 00:44:11,232 Um, listen. I was nominated for an Academy Award once. 1006 00:44:11,316 --> 00:44:13,401 Really? What for? 1007 00:44:13,485 --> 00:44:15,487 Couldn't have been acting. No offense. 1008 00:44:15,570 --> 00:44:19,532 It was for writing. Best Screenplay. 1009 00:44:19,616 --> 00:44:21,743 Writing! Wow. 1010 00:44:21,826 --> 00:44:23,870 I didn't know that was still a category. 1011 00:44:23,953 --> 00:44:26,247 What's next, Best Catering? 1012 00:44:26,331 --> 00:44:28,249 Ooh! Excuse me, Mr. Chase. 1013 00:44:28,333 --> 00:44:30,835 I am so sorry to interrupt you, but I just have to say, 1014 00:44:30,919 --> 00:44:33,880 you were hilarious in The Three Amigos. 1015 00:44:33,963 --> 00:44:35,715 Whoa! Blew me away. 1016 00:44:35,799 --> 00:44:40,178 Oh, and European Vacation? You are an amazing man! 1017 00:44:40,261 --> 00:44:42,722 Oh, come on, now. You're being silly. 1018 00:44:43,890 --> 00:44:45,141 We're all just human beings. 1019 00:44:45,225 --> 00:44:46,851 I'm exactly like you. 1020 00:44:46,935 --> 00:44:48,186 Except for the Oscar. 1021 00:44:50,271 --> 00:44:51,773 You have an Oscar? 1022 00:44:51,856 --> 00:44:53,066 Maybe. 1023 00:44:55,944 --> 00:44:57,612 Mm-hm. 1024 00:44:57,695 --> 00:44:58,905 She's cute. 1025 00:44:58,988 --> 00:45:00,657 Yeah. 1026 00:45:00,740 --> 00:45:02,659 Chevy! Are we still on for badminton? 1027 00:45:02,742 --> 00:45:04,035 Absolutely. 1028 00:45:04,119 --> 00:45:06,329 And, Paul. How are you? 1029 00:45:06,413 --> 00:45:08,206 Oh. I'm good. 1030 00:45:08,289 --> 00:45:09,457 Great. 1031 00:45:09,541 --> 00:45:11,292 We've actually been meaning to call. 1032 00:45:11,376 --> 00:45:14,629 We've had a good think, and whilst we know you're not keen, 1033 00:45:14,712 --> 00:45:17,799 if you'd just put on the hat one last time, 1034 00:45:17,882 --> 00:45:20,427 we have a killer idea. 1035 00:45:20,510 --> 00:45:21,845 Oh. 1036 00:45:21,928 --> 00:45:25,432 Dundee is angry. Why is he angry? 1037 00:45:25,515 --> 00:45:28,476 Wait for it... His wife, Sue, is dead. 1038 00:45:28,560 --> 00:45:29,769 Dead? 1039 00:45:29,853 --> 00:45:31,271 Eaten by a crocodile. 1040 00:45:31,354 --> 00:45:33,064 You want revenge. 1041 00:45:33,148 --> 00:45:35,525 You enlist the help of a gorgeous young park ranger 1042 00:45:35,608 --> 00:45:37,444 and boom! New love interest. 1043 00:45:37,527 --> 00:45:39,320 Sounds great. Sounds great. 1044 00:45:39,404 --> 00:45:41,656 You want to know who plays the gorgeous park ranger? 1045 00:45:41,739 --> 00:45:43,450 Rachel McAdams! 1046 00:45:43,533 --> 00:45:44,826 Wow! 1047 00:45:44,909 --> 00:45:46,202 As the love interest. 1048 00:45:46,286 --> 00:45:47,579 Rachel McAdams? 1049 00:45:47,662 --> 00:45:49,414 No. 1050 00:45:49,497 --> 00:45:51,374 Oh, come on. You don't like Rachel McAdams? 1051 00:45:51,458 --> 00:45:52,792 I love Rachel McAdams. 1052 00:45:52,876 --> 00:45:54,836 She's great. Okay? 1053 00:45:54,919 --> 00:45:58,089 I'm bloody 80. She's, what, 30? 1054 00:45:59,966 --> 00:46:01,217 He does have a point. 1055 00:46:01,301 --> 00:46:02,594 He's right. 1056 00:46:02,677 --> 00:46:03,720 She's too old. 1057 00:46:03,803 --> 00:46:05,138 No, that's not what I'm... 1058 00:46:05,221 --> 00:46:07,140 Do you have the list for High School Musical? 1059 00:46:07,223 --> 00:46:08,558 Yep. 1060 00:46:09,559 --> 00:46:10,685 Selena Gomez! 1061 00:46:10,768 --> 00:46:11,769 Emma Watson. 1062 00:46:11,853 --> 00:46:13,104 Abigail Breslin! 1063 00:46:13,188 --> 00:46:14,147 Yes! 1064 00:46:15,273 --> 00:46:16,900 No! No! 1065 00:46:18,151 --> 00:46:19,652 You know something? 1066 00:46:19,736 --> 00:46:22,405 You're actually being very, very difficult. 1067 00:46:22,489 --> 00:46:23,865 Oh. 1068 00:46:23,948 --> 00:46:25,783 He does have a point. 1069 00:46:25,867 --> 00:46:27,452 Mr. Chase. 1070 00:46:27,535 --> 00:46:28,870 Paul. 1071 00:46:28,953 --> 00:46:30,121 Yeah. 1072 00:46:30,205 --> 00:46:31,873 Oh. So, yeah, thanks, Chevy. 1073 00:46:31,956 --> 00:46:33,833 Oh, look at the time. Um... 1074 00:46:33,917 --> 00:46:36,461 Yeah, I've got to leave, Chevy. I've got an appointment. 1075 00:46:36,544 --> 00:46:39,005 Oh, really? Uh... Check, please. 1076 00:46:39,088 --> 00:46:40,632 Here. I'll fix it. 1077 00:46:40,715 --> 00:46:42,175 No, don't be silly. 1078 00:46:42,258 --> 00:46:43,927 Put that away. I've got this. 1079 00:46:44,010 --> 00:46:44,928 Are you sure? 1080 00:46:45,011 --> 00:46:46,554 Of course. My pleasure. 1081 00:46:46,638 --> 00:46:48,765 With everything you have going on, it's the least I can do. 1082 00:46:50,016 --> 00:46:51,184 Yeah. Thanks. 1083 00:46:51,267 --> 00:46:53,186 Good to see you. 1084 00:46:54,687 --> 00:46:56,356 Thanks. 1085 00:46:56,439 --> 00:46:57,732 Uh, excuse me? 1086 00:46:58,983 --> 00:47:00,360 Was that Chevy Chase? 1087 00:47:00,443 --> 00:47:02,195 Yep. 1088 00:47:02,278 --> 00:47:04,489 He's lovely! 1089 00:47:04,572 --> 00:47:05,990 Uh, is he lovely? 1090 00:47:06,074 --> 00:47:08,618 Oh, yeah, he's... he's, uh, very nice. Yeah. 1091 00:47:08,701 --> 00:47:10,954 I knew he would be. 1092 00:47:12,997 --> 00:47:14,791 Yep. 1093 00:47:16,251 --> 00:47:17,710 I love that guy. 1094 00:47:17,794 --> 00:47:21,214 National Lampoon's Vacation. Fantastic. 1095 00:47:21,297 --> 00:47:24,092 Oi! He didn't pay for his wine! 1096 00:47:34,936 --> 00:47:36,980 And that's all from me, Ryan Elcar, 1097 00:47:37,063 --> 00:47:38,565 and the team here at LA Local. 1098 00:47:38,648 --> 00:47:40,441 Be sure to keep watching throughout the evening 1099 00:47:40,525 --> 00:47:42,110 for regular updates, 1100 00:47:42,193 --> 00:47:45,238 and tune from 5am tomorrow when Suzanne O'Reilly 1101 00:47:45,321 --> 00:47:47,907 takes you through what you missed overnight... 1102 00:47:49,617 --> 00:47:53,371 ♪ I gave my love a cherry 1103 00:47:53,454 --> 00:47:57,125 ♪ That had no stone 1104 00:47:57,208 --> 00:48:01,462 ♪ I gave my love a chicken 1105 00:48:01,546 --> 00:48:05,466 ♪ That had no bones 1106 00:48:05,550 --> 00:48:09,429 ♪ I gave my love a story 1107 00:48:09,512 --> 00:48:13,141 ♪ That had no end 1108 00:48:13,224 --> 00:48:17,395 ♪ I gave my love a baby 1109 00:48:17,478 --> 00:48:18,646 ♪ With no... ♪ 1110 00:48:18,730 --> 00:48:19,772 Kid can sing. 1111 00:48:21,441 --> 00:48:24,027 Oh, yeah, I heard. All right, look. 1112 00:48:24,110 --> 00:48:26,404 When I first heard about the snake incident, 1113 00:48:26,487 --> 00:48:28,197 I was pretty upset, 'cause I thought 1114 00:48:28,281 --> 00:48:29,616 Paul Hogan was already dead. 1115 00:48:29,699 --> 00:48:31,075 He's been away so... 1116 00:48:31,159 --> 00:48:32,702 I have to go on stage every time and, 1117 00:48:32,785 --> 00:48:34,746 "Is that a knife? Is this not a knife? 1118 00:48:34,829 --> 00:48:36,331 "Is that a microphone?" 1119 00:48:36,414 --> 00:48:38,207 When asked about their close friendship, 1120 00:48:38,291 --> 00:48:39,959 the Oscar-winner Gary Oldman 1121 00:48:40,043 --> 00:48:41,753 denied ever meeting the troubled star... 1122 00:48:41,836 --> 00:48:43,588 Am I allowed to say "-wit"? 1123 00:48:43,671 --> 00:48:44,714 He's a [bleep... 1124 00:48:44,797 --> 00:48:46,174 Though, John Travolta 1125 00:48:46,257 --> 00:48:47,508 refused to discuss Mr. Hogan. 1126 00:48:47,592 --> 00:48:50,303 No. No. That's a very dangerous thing. 1127 00:48:50,386 --> 00:48:52,305 However, he released a statement: 1128 00:48:52,388 --> 00:48:54,098 "I don't care what he does, 1129 00:48:54,182 --> 00:48:56,017 "but the moment he stands on stage with my Olivia 1130 00:48:56,100 --> 00:48:59,979 "and tries to destroy our legacy, he's gone too far." 1131 00:49:01,356 --> 00:49:03,983 Hey. When did you learn to play guitar? 1132 00:49:04,067 --> 00:49:05,735 A couple of weeks ago. 1133 00:49:05,818 --> 00:49:07,153 Course. 1134 00:49:07,236 --> 00:49:08,279 You should come out. 1135 00:49:08,363 --> 00:49:09,280 We're gonna have a barbie, 1136 00:49:09,364 --> 00:49:10,281 play some more tunes. 1137 00:49:10,365 --> 00:49:11,616 Okay. 1138 00:49:11,699 --> 00:49:13,660 Oh, I've got a Spanish lesson at 8. 1139 00:49:13,743 --> 00:49:15,078 Make sure I don't forget, all right? 1140 00:49:15,161 --> 00:49:16,788 You're learning to speak Spanish? 1141 00:49:16,871 --> 00:49:18,706 No. Lo estoy enseñando. 1142 00:49:20,667 --> 00:49:22,669 I'm not. I'm teaching it. 1143 00:49:22,752 --> 00:49:24,712 Of course you are. 1144 00:49:26,756 --> 00:49:30,009 ..the little support Paul Hogan did once have 1145 00:49:30,093 --> 00:49:32,053 has disappeared completely. 1146 00:49:32,136 --> 00:49:34,889 Dad, you know no-one thinks this stuff, right? 1147 00:49:34,972 --> 00:49:36,641 I hope not. 1148 00:49:36,724 --> 00:49:38,017 ...gone off the rails, right? 1149 00:49:38,101 --> 00:49:39,727 I don't care what anyone says. I love him. 1150 00:49:39,811 --> 00:49:41,270 This is all right, though. 1151 00:49:41,354 --> 00:49:42,563 I know he's had a lot of criticism... 1152 00:49:42,647 --> 00:49:44,273 Ooh. She loves you. 1153 00:49:45,650 --> 00:49:48,277 See? You'll be right. 1154 00:49:48,361 --> 00:49:51,239 You know, when I was a kid, I used to hide under the blankets 1155 00:49:51,322 --> 00:49:53,700 when he wrestled those crocodiles and snakes. 1156 00:49:53,783 --> 00:49:56,869 And what about Bindi and Paul? I mean... 1157 00:49:56,953 --> 00:49:58,663 No... 1158 00:49:58,746 --> 00:50:02,375 No, you're talking about Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter. 1159 00:50:03,376 --> 00:50:04,919 Who did you ask about? 1160 00:50:05,002 --> 00:50:07,880 Crocodile Dundee. Paul Hogan. 1161 00:50:07,964 --> 00:50:09,340 Oh, him. 1162 00:50:09,424 --> 00:50:11,008 Yeah, he's a dickhead. 1163 00:50:11,092 --> 00:50:12,844 All right, all right, let me tell you 1164 00:50:12,927 --> 00:50:14,804 what I think about Mr. Paul Hogan... 1165 00:50:14,887 --> 00:50:18,433 Grandpa, have you ever had anyone not like you? 1166 00:50:18,516 --> 00:50:23,062 Uh, oh, yeah, maybe one or two people. 1167 00:50:23,146 --> 00:50:24,814 What did you do? 1168 00:50:24,897 --> 00:50:28,025 Well, nothing. You can't force people to like you, love. 1169 00:50:28,109 --> 00:50:30,862 Yeah, I mean, when I started on television, 1170 00:50:30,945 --> 00:50:32,947 one of my aunties was saying to me, 1171 00:50:33,030 --> 00:50:34,782 "Ooh, you shouldn't say that on television," 1172 00:50:34,866 --> 00:50:36,951 or, "You shouldn't do this," or, "You shouldn't look like that. 1173 00:50:37,034 --> 00:50:38,536 "People won't like you." 1174 00:50:38,619 --> 00:50:41,539 But, you know, some people will like you, some won't. 1175 00:50:41,622 --> 00:50:43,166 It's... You just be yourself. 1176 00:50:43,249 --> 00:50:45,585 You mean I shouldn't let people know you're my grandpa 1177 00:50:45,668 --> 00:50:47,628 because you've been upsetting them forever? 1178 00:50:47,712 --> 00:50:49,589 Uh... 1179 00:50:49,672 --> 00:50:52,216 Yeah, oh, well, it's probably the safest thing 1180 00:50:52,300 --> 00:50:53,718 just not to mention me. 1181 00:50:55,553 --> 00:50:58,097 Listen, your mum said the new school's a bit tough for you. 1182 00:50:58,181 --> 00:50:59,891 Yeah. 1183 00:50:59,974 --> 00:51:02,560 Oh, well, look, it's not easy when you go to a new school, 1184 00:51:02,643 --> 00:51:03,770 but you'll be fine. 1185 00:51:03,853 --> 00:51:04,771 Yeah. 1186 00:51:04,854 --> 00:51:05,980 Listen. 1187 00:51:06,063 --> 00:51:07,940 I'm sorry if any of the stuff 1188 00:51:08,024 --> 00:51:09,859 that's been reported about me 1189 00:51:09,942 --> 00:51:12,320 makes it, uh... a bit hard for you, 1190 00:51:12,403 --> 00:51:14,489 but, you know, just don't worry about it. 1191 00:51:14,572 --> 00:51:15,990 You know, they make stuff up. 1192 00:51:16,073 --> 00:51:18,493 That's not what Mum says! 1193 00:51:18,576 --> 00:51:22,371 Oh, well... uh, Mum gets confused sometimes. 1194 00:51:22,455 --> 00:51:24,832 But don't worry, Grandpa. You're getting a knighthood. 1195 00:51:24,916 --> 00:51:27,835 That'll make up for all of it. No-one can take that away. 1196 00:51:27,919 --> 00:51:29,712 Oh, I hope not. 1197 00:51:29,796 --> 00:51:31,839 Oh, I drew this. 1198 00:51:34,008 --> 00:51:35,968 Ooh, did you do that? 1199 00:51:36,052 --> 00:51:39,305 Oh, you're really talented for a 19-year-old kid. 1200 00:51:39,388 --> 00:51:41,557 I'm not 19, I'm 9! 1201 00:51:41,641 --> 00:51:43,726 Oh, you can't be 9! You're too smart. 1202 00:51:43,810 --> 00:51:46,020 Thanks. But I just wanted to show you that. 1203 00:51:47,313 --> 00:51:49,106 I'd better go. The Wizard awaits. 1204 00:51:49,190 --> 00:51:52,318 Oh. Yeah. Uh, how's that going? How's that working out? 1205 00:51:52,401 --> 00:51:55,988 Pretty good. I can't wait for you to watch me sometime. 1206 00:51:56,072 --> 00:51:57,240 Oh, I'd love to see it. 1207 00:51:58,324 --> 00:51:59,325 Bye, Pa. 1208 00:51:59,408 --> 00:52:00,535 Yeah. 1209 00:52:00,618 --> 00:52:02,954 Bye, sweetie. 1210 00:52:35,152 --> 00:52:38,322 Hey! I can see your foot sticking out. 1211 00:52:41,242 --> 00:52:43,452 Come on, what are we doing? Playing hide-and-seek? 1212 00:52:43,536 --> 00:52:45,204 No, we're not. 1213 00:52:51,878 --> 00:52:53,921 So, what are you doing here, mate? 1214 00:52:54,005 --> 00:52:56,799 Well... I couldn't find Melrose. 1215 00:52:59,385 --> 00:53:00,970 All right, let's get it over with. 1216 00:53:01,053 --> 00:53:03,264 How much will you get for a photo of me? 1217 00:53:03,347 --> 00:53:05,224 Oh. Like, a hundred bucks. 1218 00:53:06,559 --> 00:53:07,685 100 bucks? 1219 00:53:07,768 --> 00:53:09,562 Yeah. I mean, that's if I'm lucky. 1220 00:53:09,645 --> 00:53:12,231 Oh. What about if I took my shirt off 1221 00:53:12,315 --> 00:53:13,691 and I'm all sweaty, you know, 1222 00:53:13,774 --> 00:53:15,484 coming out of the gym all pumped up and... 1223 00:53:15,568 --> 00:53:19,280 Ugh. No. Uh... 60, maybe? 1224 00:53:19,363 --> 00:53:20,448 Sixty?! 1225 00:53:20,531 --> 00:53:21,449 Mm-hm. 1226 00:53:24,535 --> 00:53:26,662 Okay. Um... 1227 00:53:26,746 --> 00:53:29,332 What about a photo of me with Kim Kardashian? 1228 00:53:29,415 --> 00:53:32,209 Now we're talking! That would be amazing. 1229 00:53:32,293 --> 00:53:35,129 I could get, like, 30 grand. Maybe even more. 1230 00:53:35,212 --> 00:53:37,673 Well, I mean, that's just for a photo of Kim, though. 1231 00:53:37,757 --> 00:53:38,841 Are you in it too? 1232 00:53:38,925 --> 00:53:39,884 Yeah. 1233 00:53:39,967 --> 00:53:43,220 Then it's, like, $120. Or less. 1234 00:53:43,304 --> 00:53:44,722 Oh! 1235 00:53:44,805 --> 00:53:46,724 Oh, don't worry. I can crop you out of it. 1236 00:53:46,807 --> 00:53:48,893 I got an idea, Paul. 1237 00:53:48,976 --> 00:53:52,104 What if I, like, got photos of you and, like, a new girlfriend? 1238 00:53:52,188 --> 00:53:53,814 No. 1239 00:53:53,898 --> 00:53:56,651 No, it could be good. It doesn't have to be a girlfriend. 1240 00:53:56,734 --> 00:53:58,361 Maybe, like... a lover. 1241 00:53:59,612 --> 00:54:00,613 Forget about it. 1242 00:54:00,696 --> 00:54:01,906 We could set that up. 1243 00:54:01,989 --> 00:54:04,825 You know, I just met a waitress at Denny's 1244 00:54:04,909 --> 00:54:07,161 and she was really into Australians. 1245 00:54:07,244 --> 00:54:09,830 I was like, "Oh, I know an Australian!" 1246 00:54:09,914 --> 00:54:11,624 All right, listen. 1247 00:54:11,707 --> 00:54:13,167 You don't have a car, do you? 1248 00:54:13,250 --> 00:54:15,127 Yeah, I... No, I don't. 1249 00:54:15,211 --> 00:54:16,629 Mmm. Okay. 1250 00:54:16,712 --> 00:54:17,755 Why? 1251 00:54:17,838 --> 00:54:19,840 Uh... No, I'd better not. 1252 00:54:19,924 --> 00:54:21,217 No, I promised my manager 1253 00:54:21,300 --> 00:54:22,969 I wouldn't get into any more trouble. 1254 00:54:23,052 --> 00:54:25,805 Oh, oh, oh! Do the opposite! 1255 00:54:25,888 --> 00:54:28,933 Do whatever you said you wouldn't do to your manager! 1256 00:54:29,016 --> 00:54:30,643 Do the opposite of that. 1257 00:54:30,726 --> 00:54:33,270 Let's do it! We'll do it together! Paul, please! 1258 00:54:33,354 --> 00:54:35,439 Please! Please! 1259 00:54:35,523 --> 00:54:36,440 Oh... 1260 00:54:37,775 --> 00:54:39,860 So, where are we going? 1261 00:54:39,944 --> 00:54:41,821 We need to find stars. 1262 00:54:41,904 --> 00:54:44,073 Yeah, you know, like George Clooney, Julia Roberts... 1263 00:54:44,156 --> 00:54:45,658 Kim Kardashian. 1264 00:54:45,741 --> 00:54:50,371 I, uh... I used to know where Cary Grant lived. 1265 00:54:50,454 --> 00:54:52,373 Yeah, but, uh, I think it's better 1266 00:54:52,456 --> 00:54:55,209 if we stick to celebrities that are still alive. 1267 00:54:55,292 --> 00:54:57,086 Okay. Betty White? 1268 00:54:57,169 --> 00:55:00,339 Oh... I mean, she's good. It's just... 1269 00:55:00,423 --> 00:55:01,424 What night is it? 1270 00:55:01,507 --> 00:55:02,758 Uh, Wednesday, I think. 1271 00:55:02,842 --> 00:55:04,552 Oh. Well, I know where they are. 1272 00:55:04,635 --> 00:55:05,803 Yeah? 1273 00:55:09,015 --> 00:55:10,349 Oh. 1274 00:55:12,393 --> 00:55:13,769 Crap! 1275 00:55:13,853 --> 00:55:17,148 Oh. Well, don't panic. It's just the police. 1276 00:55:17,231 --> 00:55:19,525 Yeah, but they've got big guns. 1277 00:55:19,608 --> 00:55:23,070 Yeah, but if you don't do anything stupid, they're fine. 1278 00:55:33,622 --> 00:55:35,207 What are you doing? 1279 00:55:35,291 --> 00:55:38,711 Just, uh... I'm just waiting for them to... 1280 00:55:39,628 --> 00:55:40,921 ...get, uh... 1281 00:55:41,839 --> 00:55:43,049 ...out of the car. 1282 00:55:50,222 --> 00:55:51,140 Right! 1283 00:56:13,913 --> 00:56:17,500 Oh, I forgot. Do you guys want mints or water or anything? 1284 00:56:17,583 --> 00:56:19,418 Uh... no, fine for now, John. 1285 00:56:19,502 --> 00:56:21,378 What?! No! 1286 00:56:29,887 --> 00:56:32,223 Listen, you gotta... you gotta pull over, talk to them! 1287 00:56:32,306 --> 00:56:35,601 Uh, no, no. I can't. I don't have my driver's license. 1288 00:56:35,684 --> 00:56:37,645 Well, then just tell them you left it at home! 1289 00:56:37,728 --> 00:56:41,023 No, I don't have a driving license. 1290 00:56:41,107 --> 00:56:44,026 Come to think of it, I don't even know whose car this is. 1291 00:56:44,110 --> 00:56:46,654 What?! Come on! 1292 00:56:53,285 --> 00:56:54,328 John! 1293 00:56:54,411 --> 00:56:55,538 Get your camera out. 1294 00:56:55,621 --> 00:56:57,289 Why, so I can photograph my own death?! 1295 00:56:57,373 --> 00:56:59,500 No, 'cause just round this corner, 1296 00:56:59,583 --> 00:57:02,211 there's gonna be a mother lode of celebrities. 1297 00:57:02,294 --> 00:57:06,006 Oh! Let's tap it. Let's tap! 1298 00:57:19,145 --> 00:57:21,438 Stephanie. Tell us about your latest role. 1299 00:57:21,522 --> 00:57:24,150 She's a hard-nosed FBI agent 1300 00:57:24,233 --> 00:57:26,485 that needs a lot of people killed. 1301 00:57:26,569 --> 00:57:28,487 Oh. How fun. 1302 00:57:28,571 --> 00:57:29,989 Yes. 1303 00:57:30,072 --> 00:57:30,990 Yeah. 1304 00:57:38,873 --> 00:57:40,583 No, no, no, no, no, no...! 1305 00:57:42,501 --> 00:57:44,003 Arggh! No! 1306 00:57:47,381 --> 00:57:51,343 Uh, there seems to be some kind of disturbance happening. 1307 00:57:51,427 --> 00:57:53,345 Oh, this chase is getting out of control. 1308 00:57:53,429 --> 00:57:56,599 Police are advising drivers to avoid San Vicente Boulevard. 1309 00:57:56,682 --> 00:58:00,644 I never get tired of searchlights. 1310 00:58:00,728 --> 00:58:04,190 Right, Luke, stay alert. Kim Kardashian, two o'clock. 1311 00:58:04,273 --> 00:58:05,691 Can you slow down a bit? 1312 00:58:07,151 --> 00:58:08,819 I'm afraid that won't be possible. 1313 00:58:09,945 --> 00:58:10,988 Oh, look. Brad Pitt. 1314 00:58:11,071 --> 00:58:12,114 Hey! 1315 00:58:13,407 --> 00:58:14,325 Did you get him? 1316 00:58:14,408 --> 00:58:15,326 No. 1317 00:58:15,409 --> 00:58:16,327 I nearly did. 1318 00:58:16,410 --> 00:58:17,453 Yeah, we noticed. 1319 00:58:26,045 --> 00:58:26,962 Uh-oh. 1320 00:58:27,046 --> 00:58:27,963 What was that? 1321 00:58:28,047 --> 00:58:29,715 I think it was Harvey Weinstein. 1322 00:58:29,798 --> 00:58:31,550 Mmm. Good. 1323 00:58:33,219 --> 00:58:34,345 Shit! 1324 00:58:46,774 --> 00:58:48,525 And whilst I can't make out who's driving, 1325 00:58:48,609 --> 00:58:51,987 that is certainly Paul Hogan in the passenger seat. 1326 00:58:52,071 --> 00:58:53,948 Well, drivers are now in a panic. 1327 00:58:54,031 --> 00:58:56,325 The chase has moved to the other side of the road. 1328 00:59:33,279 --> 00:59:35,489 Thanks, guys! Don't forget to rate me. 1329 00:59:35,572 --> 00:59:36,782 Five stars. 1330 00:59:40,202 --> 00:59:41,537 Hey, where's he going?! 1331 00:59:41,620 --> 00:59:43,205 Quick. Inside. 1332 00:59:43,289 --> 00:59:44,999 Hey, do you really think that was Kim Kardashian?! 1333 00:59:45,082 --> 00:59:46,333 Just get inside the...! 1334 00:59:46,417 --> 00:59:47,835 Oh! Your place is gorgeous! 1335 00:59:47,918 --> 00:59:48,836 Come here! 1336 00:59:48,919 --> 00:59:49,837 You've got three garages?! 1337 00:59:49,920 --> 00:59:51,213 You've got three cars? 1338 00:59:51,297 --> 00:59:52,339 Or is it just storage? 1339 00:59:52,423 --> 00:59:53,465 Oh, a tennis court! 1340 00:59:54,675 --> 00:59:56,093 That's awesome! 1341 00:59:56,176 --> 00:59:57,428 I played tennis in high school. 1342 00:59:57,511 --> 00:59:59,013 I'm actually pretty good for my size. 1343 00:59:59,096 --> 01:00:01,140 Oh, look at the size of these doors! 1344 01:00:01,223 --> 01:00:02,224 Get in, get in! 1345 01:00:03,517 --> 01:00:06,061 Whoa! Look at this place! 1346 01:00:06,145 --> 01:00:09,231 You've got chairs. A coffee table. 1347 01:00:09,315 --> 01:00:12,109 A huge dining table. You've got, like, eight pillows. 1348 01:00:12,192 --> 01:00:13,819 Look at that. 1349 01:00:13,902 --> 01:00:15,612 What's that wind? 1350 01:00:15,696 --> 01:00:17,948 Oh, you've got a pool! You've got a TV! 1351 01:00:19,366 --> 01:00:20,909 ...the speed of the chase. 1352 01:00:20,993 --> 01:00:23,120 It was disgusting, for heck's sake! 1353 01:00:23,203 --> 01:00:24,997 Oh, man! 1354 01:00:25,080 --> 01:00:28,292 Police are advising drivers to avoid San Vicente Boulevard. 1355 01:00:28,375 --> 01:00:30,878 The car has now been abandoned in a residential area. 1356 01:00:30,961 --> 01:00:33,839 LA people are so nuts! 1357 01:00:38,969 --> 01:00:41,847 Paul, get in here! You gotta check out the news! 1358 01:00:41,930 --> 01:00:43,265 Is that... 1359 01:00:43,349 --> 01:00:45,184 Yes, sadly, I believe 1360 01:00:45,267 --> 01:00:47,686 that is disgraced movie star Paul Hogan. 1361 01:00:47,770 --> 01:00:50,939 In what can only be described as a desperate cry for help, 1362 01:00:51,023 --> 01:00:52,983 it would appear the fallen icon 1363 01:00:53,067 --> 01:00:56,487 is now desperately trying to relive his glory days. 1364 01:00:56,570 --> 01:00:57,946 Paul! 1365 01:00:59,323 --> 01:01:00,449 Paul! Whoa! 1366 01:01:00,532 --> 01:01:02,409 This may be the saddest thing 1367 01:01:02,493 --> 01:01:05,662 this jaded old journalist has ever seen. 1368 01:01:05,746 --> 01:01:08,290 Paul! Paul! 1369 01:01:08,374 --> 01:01:10,834 Paul, you're on the news! Look! 1370 01:01:10,918 --> 01:01:13,504 It appears a lady has run from the house, 1371 01:01:13,587 --> 01:01:16,048 trying to plead with the troubled Hogan. 1372 01:01:16,131 --> 01:01:17,800 Uh... 1373 01:01:22,137 --> 01:01:25,099 The lady is down. The lady is down. 1374 01:01:43,700 --> 01:01:45,619 You got a light, buddy? 1375 01:01:46,703 --> 01:01:49,123 Yeah, sure, kid. There you go. 1376 01:01:50,165 --> 01:01:51,375 And your wallet. 1377 01:01:52,709 --> 01:01:55,129 Mickey, give him your wallet. 1378 01:01:55,212 --> 01:01:56,380 What for? 1379 01:01:56,463 --> 01:01:58,090 He's got a knife! 1380 01:02:09,935 --> 01:02:12,896 ♪ You wave that shiny little thing in my face 1381 01:02:12,980 --> 01:02:15,816 ♪ But, kid, your piece of cutlery's a bloody disgrace 1382 01:02:15,899 --> 01:02:19,236 ♪ You look at me as if I should now run for my life 1383 01:02:19,319 --> 01:02:22,030 ♪ But that's not a knife 1384 01:02:22,114 --> 01:02:25,367 ♪ You think your little toy is gonna fill me with dread 1385 01:02:25,451 --> 01:02:28,495 ♪ But you should take that home and file your toenails instead 1386 01:02:28,579 --> 01:02:31,957 ♪ You're embarrassing yourself in front of my future wife 1387 01:02:32,040 --> 01:02:34,960 ♪ 'Cause that's not a knife 1388 01:02:35,043 --> 01:02:38,213 ♪ You should turn away from your life of crime 1389 01:02:38,297 --> 01:02:41,592 ♪ Do something more worthwhile with your time 1390 01:02:41,675 --> 01:02:44,678 ♪ Buddy, why you lookin' so deflated? 1391 01:02:44,761 --> 01:02:49,683 ♪ Maybe 'cause your implement is not serrated 1392 01:02:51,560 --> 01:02:54,104 ♪ I can see you're not the sharpest tool in the shed 1393 01:02:54,188 --> 01:02:57,441 ♪ But I wouldn't use that little thing to butter my bread 1394 01:02:57,524 --> 01:03:00,486 ♪ Kid, if I were you, I'd bloody run for my life 1395 01:03:00,569 --> 01:03:02,154 ♪ 'Cause that's not a knife 1396 01:03:02,237 --> 01:03:03,363 ♪ That's not a knife 1397 01:03:03,447 --> 01:03:05,240 ♪ No, that's not a knife 1398 01:03:05,324 --> 01:03:06,783 ♪ That's not a knife 1399 01:03:06,867 --> 01:03:09,119 ♪ No, that's not a knife 1400 01:03:09,203 --> 01:03:11,288 ♪ That's a knife 1401 01:03:11,371 --> 01:03:12,331 ♪ Oh! 1402 01:03:12,414 --> 01:03:14,541 ♪ Yes, that is a knife 1403 01:03:14,625 --> 01:03:17,503 ♪ That is definitely a knife 1404 01:03:17,586 --> 01:03:21,131 ♪ Remarkable sharpness and purity 1405 01:03:21,215 --> 01:03:24,134 ♪ How'd he get that through airport security? 1406 01:03:24,218 --> 01:03:27,679 ♪ I should be feeling fear and loathing 1407 01:03:27,763 --> 01:03:34,061 ♪ Scariest thing about you is your choice of clothing 1408 01:03:34,144 --> 01:03:37,105 ♪ Buddy, here's a little piece of friendly advice 1409 01:03:37,189 --> 01:03:40,359 ♪ Threatening people on the street is not very nice 1410 01:03:40,442 --> 01:03:43,278 ♪ So go sit somewhere quietly and keep out of strife 1411 01:03:43,362 --> 01:03:46,490 ♪ Then you won't need a knife 1412 01:03:46,573 --> 01:03:49,409 ♪ 'Cause that's not a knife 1413 01:03:49,493 --> 01:03:52,788 ♪ Yeah, that's not a knife 1414 01:03:52,871 --> 01:03:54,706 ♪ That's the knife 1415 01:03:56,500 --> 01:03:59,253 ♪ So, keep sharpened up... ♪ 1416 01:04:04,383 --> 01:04:07,386 Hey, Hogan. You made bail. 1417 01:04:15,227 --> 01:04:16,687 Well, look, in my defense, 1418 01:04:16,770 --> 01:04:19,064 I had no idea we'd be trying to escape from the cops 1419 01:04:19,147 --> 01:04:23,026 in a... televised high-speed pursuit... 1420 01:04:23,110 --> 01:04:26,863 ...with an unlicensed John Cleese driving a stolen car. 1421 01:04:32,202 --> 01:04:33,745 It is certainly 1422 01:04:33,829 --> 01:04:35,122 the story that won't go away 1423 01:04:35,205 --> 01:04:37,082 as disgraced racist nun-basher 1424 01:04:37,165 --> 01:04:39,710 and former Australian legend Paul Hogan 1425 01:04:39,793 --> 01:04:42,170 implodes before our very eyes. 1426 01:04:42,254 --> 01:04:44,715 ...Margot Robbie and Paul Hogan becoming friends 1427 01:04:44,798 --> 01:04:47,676 while shooting that Australian tourism commercial. 1428 01:04:47,759 --> 01:04:49,803 We have Margot in our LA studio. 1429 01:04:49,886 --> 01:04:51,972 Margot, I want to start by asking, 1430 01:04:52,055 --> 01:04:54,850 have you reached out to your troubled friend at all? 1431 01:04:56,727 --> 01:04:57,644 Margot! 1432 01:04:57,728 --> 01:04:58,645 Margot? 1433 01:05:01,732 --> 01:05:05,527 Margot Robbie in... in LA, can you hear me? 1434 01:05:05,611 --> 01:05:07,112 She's, uh, gone, chief. 1435 01:05:07,195 --> 01:05:08,071 Margot? 1436 01:05:09,156 --> 01:05:10,866 Margot! 1437 01:05:10,949 --> 01:05:13,952 ...with Hogan quickly becoming a global punchline... 1438 01:05:14,036 --> 01:05:15,787 ...Australia, the Flipper... 1439 01:05:17,831 --> 01:05:19,541 ...and I can't believe he hasn't been #MeToo'd yet. 1440 01:05:19,625 --> 01:05:22,085 When will his reign of madness end? 1441 01:05:22,169 --> 01:05:24,630 And your old mate Paul Hogan... What's going on there? 1442 01:05:24,713 --> 01:05:26,089 Does he need professional help? 1443 01:05:26,173 --> 01:05:27,591 I don't know. There's not a great deal... 1444 01:05:27,674 --> 01:05:29,259 It doesn't bear too much analysis. 1445 01:05:29,343 --> 01:05:31,053 I mean, this is pretty silly stuff. 1446 01:05:31,136 --> 01:05:33,138 Yeah, fair, pretty silly, but I've got to admit, 1447 01:05:33,221 --> 01:05:35,265 I'm actually surprised by how funny he is. 1448 01:05:35,349 --> 01:05:37,184 And he's kind of off the wall too. 1449 01:05:37,267 --> 01:05:40,103 I mean, there's recesses in this guy's brain 1450 01:05:40,187 --> 01:05:42,022 that are kind of pretty wild. 1451 01:05:42,105 --> 01:05:43,607 I've got a joke for you, right? 1452 01:05:43,690 --> 01:05:45,275 What do you call the fastest Australian in the world? 1453 01:05:45,359 --> 01:05:46,276 Paul! 1454 01:05:46,360 --> 01:05:47,277 The fastest what? 1455 01:05:47,361 --> 01:05:48,654 Australian. 1456 01:05:49,905 --> 01:05:51,406 Paul Ho-GUN! 1457 01:05:51,490 --> 01:05:53,033 Oh, wait. I've got one. 1458 01:05:53,116 --> 01:05:55,369 What does Paul say when he'd like the escort to leave? 1459 01:05:57,037 --> 01:05:58,664 Carol's here! 1460 01:05:58,747 --> 01:06:00,582 I don't know how she found me! You haven't seen me! 1461 01:06:00,666 --> 01:06:02,793 Mate, your timing couldn't be worse! 1462 01:06:04,044 --> 01:06:06,046 Just tell her you haven't seen me. 1463 01:06:06,129 --> 01:06:08,131 I can't lie to Carol. She's an angel. 1464 01:06:08,215 --> 01:06:12,219 No matter what she says, you have no idea where I am! 1465 01:06:12,302 --> 01:06:13,428 Good luck! 1466 01:06:14,888 --> 01:06:15,806 Shit! 1467 01:06:15,889 --> 01:06:17,391 Please, God! Please! 1468 01:06:17,474 --> 01:06:18,934 Please! I beg you! 1469 01:06:19,017 --> 01:06:20,769 Oh, bloody hell! 1470 01:06:20,852 --> 01:06:23,480 Wait, I've got one. What do you call Paul Hogan's latest movie? 1471 01:06:23,563 --> 01:06:24,523 I don't know. 1472 01:06:24,606 --> 01:06:25,691 Who cares? 1473 01:06:27,359 --> 01:06:28,276 Oh. 1474 01:06:28,360 --> 01:06:29,528 Oh. Oh, hi, Carol. 1475 01:06:29,611 --> 01:06:32,030 Hi, Paul. Uh, these are for you. 1476 01:06:32,114 --> 01:06:33,615 Oh, thank you. 1477 01:06:33,699 --> 01:06:35,450 Well, I thought it was the least that I could do 1478 01:06:35,534 --> 01:06:38,120 with you having to put up with him and all that noise. 1479 01:06:38,203 --> 01:06:40,497 Ah. Um, put up with what? 1480 01:06:40,580 --> 01:06:41,832 What? 1481 01:06:41,915 --> 01:06:42,791 With Wayne. 1482 01:06:44,042 --> 01:06:45,127 Wayne? 1483 01:06:45,210 --> 01:06:46,795 Where is he, Paul? 1484 01:06:46,878 --> 01:06:48,338 Uh, who? 1485 01:06:48,422 --> 01:06:49,506 Wayne. 1486 01:06:49,589 --> 01:06:50,632 Wayne? 1487 01:06:50,716 --> 01:06:51,675 Mmm. 1488 01:06:51,758 --> 01:06:53,927 Oh. Uh, uh... haven't seen him. 1489 01:06:54,010 --> 01:06:56,179 Really? Oh. 1490 01:06:57,431 --> 01:06:58,348 Yeah. 1491 01:06:58,432 --> 01:06:59,307 I... 1492 01:07:01,768 --> 01:07:04,896 Paul, I'm gonna need you to be honest with me. 1493 01:07:04,980 --> 01:07:07,190 Oh, of course. Yeah. 1494 01:07:07,274 --> 01:07:08,650 Have you seen my husband? 1495 01:07:09,943 --> 01:07:12,154 Wayne? Uh... 1496 01:07:13,280 --> 01:07:14,865 ...n-no. Uh... 1497 01:07:18,076 --> 01:07:19,578 Okay. 1498 01:07:19,661 --> 01:07:22,122 Um... I'm sorry. 1499 01:07:22,205 --> 01:07:24,583 Oh, no, that's okay. Knowing Wayne, he's probably... 1500 01:07:24,666 --> 01:07:26,793 Sorry, sweetheart. 1501 01:07:26,877 --> 01:07:28,879 New-show jitters. You know how I am. 1502 01:07:28,962 --> 01:07:30,464 Ah. Why, you lying little... 1503 01:07:30,547 --> 01:07:31,882 Oh, no, hey, but he told me... 1504 01:07:31,965 --> 01:07:33,550 Whoa, whoa, whoa, buddy. Don't look at me. 1505 01:07:33,633 --> 01:07:35,260 No, you gave it away the minute you opened the door. 1506 01:07:35,343 --> 01:07:36,678 You looked so guilty. 1507 01:07:36,762 --> 01:07:38,764 I am very disappointed with you. 1508 01:07:38,847 --> 01:07:40,640 That makes two of us. 1509 01:07:40,724 --> 01:07:42,851 Yeah, I read the press. I was gonna leave anyway. 1510 01:07:42,934 --> 01:07:44,853 Oh, and I'd give that robe a wash. 1511 01:07:44,936 --> 01:07:48,565 Yes. Oh, b-b-b-b... mwah! 1512 01:07:49,983 --> 01:07:50,901 Bye. 1513 01:07:50,984 --> 01:07:51,902 Uh... 1514 01:07:56,114 --> 01:07:58,533 One thing that is safe to say 1515 01:07:58,617 --> 01:08:01,495 is the once loved Mr. Dundee 1516 01:08:01,578 --> 01:08:04,915 doesn't have a friend left in the world. 1517 01:08:11,922 --> 01:08:13,965 Got a letter from the palace. 1518 01:08:14,049 --> 01:08:15,592 Oh. 1519 01:08:15,675 --> 01:08:19,179 Well... I guess we both know what this says. 1520 01:08:19,262 --> 01:08:21,473 Yeah. I think so. 1521 01:08:21,556 --> 01:08:24,768 Oh. Dunno how I'm gonna tell Lucy, though. 1522 01:08:24,851 --> 01:08:29,022 Yeah. Well, people are just sort of... so angry at me. 1523 01:08:29,105 --> 01:08:31,399 I don't know what I'm gonna tell my mom. 1524 01:08:33,109 --> 01:08:35,862 I wish my dad was here. He'd know what to do. 1525 01:08:35,946 --> 01:08:37,864 Hey. You did a great job. 1526 01:08:37,948 --> 01:08:40,909 You were just, uh... trying to manage a boofhead. 1527 01:08:43,245 --> 01:08:46,122 Well, I was managing a boofhead. 1528 01:08:47,457 --> 01:08:48,708 Yeah. 1529 01:08:48,792 --> 01:08:49,918 Gonna be okay? 1530 01:08:50,001 --> 01:08:51,628 Yeah. 1531 01:08:51,711 --> 01:08:53,839 You know... 1532 01:08:53,922 --> 01:08:56,800 ...I've always wanted to make something for kids. 1533 01:08:56,883 --> 01:08:58,301 You should. 1534 01:08:58,385 --> 01:09:01,888 Yeah. I'll find something. 1535 01:09:04,933 --> 01:09:07,561 I wasn't really much of a manager anyway. 1536 01:09:38,425 --> 01:09:39,509 Nope. 1537 01:10:47,202 --> 01:10:48,745 Hello, Paul. 1538 01:10:48,828 --> 01:10:49,746 Oh. 1539 01:10:49,829 --> 01:10:50,830 I'm Ella. 1540 01:10:50,914 --> 01:10:52,374 Oh. I'm Paul. 1541 01:10:52,457 --> 01:10:54,000 Hello. 1542 01:10:54,084 --> 01:10:55,001 Hello, Ella. 1543 01:10:55,085 --> 01:10:56,002 Hi. 1544 01:10:56,086 --> 01:10:57,003 Oh, goodness. 1545 01:10:57,087 --> 01:10:58,880 So, the others aren't here yet? 1546 01:10:58,964 --> 01:10:59,881 Uh, no. 1547 01:11:01,007 --> 01:11:02,968 Ooh. Sorry. Gosh. 1548 01:11:03,051 --> 01:11:05,220 That's me. How rude. 1549 01:11:05,303 --> 01:11:06,221 Sorry! 1550 01:11:06,304 --> 01:11:07,263 No, it's fine. 1551 01:11:07,347 --> 01:11:08,640 Oh, it's Livvy. 1552 01:11:08,723 --> 01:11:10,809 Um... Oh. 1553 01:11:12,143 --> 01:11:14,479 "Running late. Be there soon." 1554 01:11:17,482 --> 01:11:18,441 Uh-huh. 1555 01:11:18,525 --> 01:11:19,985 Right. 1556 01:11:25,532 --> 01:11:27,909 Do you get the feeling this is a set-up? 1557 01:11:27,993 --> 01:11:29,703 I'm starting to, yes. 1558 01:11:31,329 --> 01:11:34,207 Oh, dear. Ahem. 1559 01:11:34,290 --> 01:11:35,667 Oh, Livvy. I'll kill her. 1560 01:11:36,751 --> 01:11:38,044 Oh, I love your dress. 1561 01:11:38,128 --> 01:11:39,963 Uh... it's a top. 1562 01:11:40,046 --> 01:11:42,048 But thank you. 1563 01:11:42,132 --> 01:11:43,508 Of course it's a top. 1564 01:11:43,591 --> 01:11:45,176 Oh, my goodness. 1565 01:11:45,260 --> 01:11:47,804 These things are always awkward, aren't they? 1566 01:11:47,887 --> 01:11:49,347 What? 1567 01:11:49,431 --> 01:11:50,682 Dates. 1568 01:11:50,765 --> 01:11:52,642 Actually, I wouldn't know. 1569 01:11:52,726 --> 01:11:55,186 I haven't been on a date since man walked on the moon. 1570 01:11:56,771 --> 01:11:58,273 Half a century ago. 1571 01:11:58,356 --> 01:11:59,816 Goodness. 1572 01:11:59,899 --> 01:12:01,860 If you took you another half-century to go on a date, 1573 01:12:01,943 --> 01:12:02,902 it must have been a bad one. 1574 01:12:02,986 --> 01:12:05,071 It was pretty bad, actually. 1575 01:12:07,490 --> 01:12:08,950 Well, anyway... 1576 01:12:09,034 --> 01:12:11,077 I'm... I'm glad you're here. 1577 01:12:11,161 --> 01:12:13,329 I'm glad too. 1578 01:12:15,415 --> 01:12:17,584 Oh, my goodness! 1579 01:12:17,667 --> 01:12:19,502 I think that's Chevy Chase. 1580 01:12:19,586 --> 01:12:21,129 Just slid right off the table. 1581 01:12:21,212 --> 01:12:22,422 Course it's him. 1582 01:12:22,505 --> 01:12:24,591 He's pretty good. He won an Academy Award. 1583 01:12:24,674 --> 01:12:25,967 Oh, really? Oh. 1584 01:12:26,051 --> 01:12:27,427 You need to have these fixed. 1585 01:12:27,510 --> 01:12:28,845 I didn't know that. 1586 01:12:29,721 --> 01:12:31,347 Good evening. 1587 01:12:31,431 --> 01:12:33,308 Could I interest you in our wine list this evening? 1588 01:12:33,391 --> 01:12:34,726 Oh, y-yes, please. 1589 01:12:34,809 --> 01:12:36,311 Certainly, sir. 1590 01:12:36,394 --> 01:12:37,645 Thank you. 1591 01:12:41,107 --> 01:12:45,653 Um... is it okay if I make a tiny little confession? 1592 01:12:45,737 --> 01:12:47,238 Yeah. 1593 01:12:47,322 --> 01:12:53,286 I... may not be an innocent bystander in all of this. 1594 01:12:53,369 --> 01:12:56,581 I might... have had a conversation 1595 01:12:56,664 --> 01:12:58,291 with Olivia beforehand. 1596 01:12:58,374 --> 01:13:02,462 Oh. Yeah, I'll be having a little chat to Olivia. 1597 01:13:10,845 --> 01:13:13,098 He's got my keys! 1598 01:13:13,181 --> 01:13:14,808 Stop him! Somebody stop him! 1599 01:13:14,891 --> 01:13:15,809 Oh. 1600 01:13:15,892 --> 01:13:17,143 A-are you okay? 1601 01:13:17,227 --> 01:13:18,645 Yeah. Uh, back in a sec. 1602 01:13:25,860 --> 01:13:27,445 Over there! 1603 01:13:27,529 --> 01:13:30,115 Stop him! Somebody stop him! It's the Phantom Valet! 1604 01:13:30,198 --> 01:13:32,367 I know it is! Somebody stop him! 1605 01:14:28,047 --> 01:14:29,340 I've still got it. 1606 01:14:29,424 --> 01:14:31,050 Not bad! 1607 01:14:33,553 --> 01:14:34,971 Like a scene from the movie itself, 1608 01:14:35,054 --> 01:14:37,348 much loved Aussie star Paul Hogan is back 1609 01:14:37,432 --> 01:14:40,435 and reminding us of what he is truly made of. 1610 01:14:40,518 --> 01:14:42,979 However, the same cannot be said for another comedy icon: 1611 01:14:43,062 --> 01:14:45,398 Chevy Chase, whose downfall has begun 1612 01:14:45,481 --> 01:14:47,734 as he was dragged from an LA eatery 1613 01:14:47,817 --> 01:14:49,277 for displacing condiments. 1614 01:14:49,360 --> 01:14:51,821 The troubled star was heard to be screaming: 1615 01:14:51,905 --> 01:14:53,531 "But I won an Oscar!" 1616 01:14:54,449 --> 01:14:56,326 Wait. He won an Oscar? 1617 01:15:00,330 --> 01:15:06,044 ♪ We cut through glaciers And coastline by the afternoon 1618 01:15:09,005 --> 01:15:11,549 ♪ Rivers cut through The gorge ♪ 1619 01:15:11,633 --> 01:15:14,177 ♪ And the water's clean And the water's smooth ♪ 1620 01:15:17,388 --> 01:15:21,226 ♪ See, I've been trying To move along, move along ♪ 1621 01:15:21,309 --> 01:15:25,104 ♪ Concepting to keeping strong For far too long ♪ 1622 01:15:25,188 --> 01:15:28,358 ♪ When all I had to do Was rest my head... ♪ 1623 01:15:29,776 --> 01:15:31,152 Your photos are amazing! 1624 01:15:31,236 --> 01:15:32,153 Oh. Yeah. 1625 01:15:33,071 --> 01:15:34,155 Thank you so much. 1626 01:15:34,239 --> 01:15:35,114 Uh-huh. 1627 01:15:41,704 --> 01:15:45,124 I can't believe you've pulled this together. 1628 01:15:45,208 --> 01:15:47,460 To be honest... 1629 01:15:47,543 --> 01:15:50,505 I always thought you wouldn't amount to much. 1630 01:15:51,589 --> 01:15:53,049 Thank you... 1631 01:15:53,132 --> 01:15:54,884 Mom. 1632 01:15:57,845 --> 01:16:02,141 ♪ Oh-ho, that's in gold ♪ 1633 01:16:04,727 --> 01:16:06,813 How'd he get the idea? 1634 01:16:06,896 --> 01:16:10,525 He is a genius. 1635 01:16:12,318 --> 01:16:14,862 ♪ And it doesn't Feel right anymore ♪ 1636 01:16:18,157 --> 01:16:19,325 Hello? 1637 01:16:19,409 --> 01:16:21,452 Hey! How's it going back there? 1638 01:16:21,536 --> 01:16:22,745 Ah. All set. 1639 01:16:22,829 --> 01:16:24,789 It's pretty amazing out here too. 1640 01:16:24,872 --> 01:16:27,792 I've never seen so much privilege in one place. 1641 01:16:27,875 --> 01:16:30,211 Well, I hope your mum fits right in. 1642 01:16:30,295 --> 01:16:31,671 She does. 1643 01:16:31,754 --> 01:16:34,173 Can you believe they changed their minds? 1644 01:16:34,257 --> 01:16:36,718 Yeah. 1645 01:16:36,801 --> 01:16:38,678 Oh. Um, I'd better let you go. 1646 01:16:44,225 --> 01:16:45,643 Nah. 1647 01:16:45,727 --> 01:16:49,772 It is with tremendous excitement and gratitude 1648 01:16:49,856 --> 01:16:51,941 that today we honor Mr. Paul Hogan, 1649 01:16:52,025 --> 01:16:55,236 the star of Her Majesty's favorite movie, 1650 01:16:55,320 --> 01:16:57,780 Crocodile Dundee III. 1651 01:16:57,864 --> 01:17:01,200 Unfortunately, Mr. Hogan couldn't be here today, 1652 01:17:01,284 --> 01:17:04,203 as he had somewhere important to be. 1653 01:17:27,268 --> 01:17:32,023 ♪ Oh-ho, it's in gold ♪ 1654 01:17:34,067 --> 01:17:35,735 ♪ See, I've been trying ♪ 1655 01:17:35,818 --> 01:17:37,320 Thank you. 1656 01:17:40,531 --> 01:17:44,410 ♪ And it doesn't Feel right anymore ♪ 1657 01:17:52,835 --> 01:17:55,171 And Paul Hogan is back in the news 1658 01:17:55,254 --> 01:17:58,716 after failing to turn up to an appearance on The Tonight Show. 1659 01:17:58,800 --> 01:18:00,551 Grandpa! 1660 01:18:02,845 --> 01:18:05,223 ♪ On our own ♪ 1661 01:18:07,100 --> 01:18:11,104 ♪ We don't have to do this On our own ♪ 1662 01:18:11,187 --> 01:18:12,855 You made it! 1663 01:18:12,939 --> 01:18:14,524 Oh, yeah. Wouldn't want to miss this. 1664 01:18:14,607 --> 01:18:15,650 Is it true? 1665 01:18:15,733 --> 01:18:17,151 Yeah, I'm really here. 1666 01:18:20,321 --> 01:18:22,323 But what about Chase? 1667 01:18:22,407 --> 01:18:29,288 ♪ See, I've been trying To hold on to this all alone ♪ 1668 01:18:42,927 --> 01:18:46,556 And accepting on Mr. Hogan's behalf, 1669 01:18:46,639 --> 01:18:48,641 Miss Angie Douglas. 1670 01:18:57,400 --> 01:18:58,901 With the subject now, 1671 01:18:58,985 --> 01:19:01,571 heading eastward towards the 405. 1672 01:19:01,654 --> 01:19:05,158 All officers, be warned, it is John Cleese. 1673 01:19:41,694 --> 01:19:42,862 Hello! 1674 01:19:42,945 --> 01:19:44,489 Hi. Oh, you found the place. 1675 01:19:44,572 --> 01:19:45,656 Yeah. Great directions. 1676 01:19:45,740 --> 01:19:46,699 Yeah. 1677 01:19:46,782 --> 01:19:47,950 Hello! 1678 01:19:48,034 --> 01:19:49,452 He's a little sweetie, isn't he? 1679 01:19:49,535 --> 01:19:51,829 Hello! Oh, my goodness! Hi! 1680 01:19:51,913 --> 01:19:52,914 Oh, wow! 1681 01:19:52,997 --> 01:19:54,081 Paddy! 1682 01:19:54,165 --> 01:19:57,376 Oh, my goodness! Hello, gorgeous! 1683 01:19:57,460 --> 01:19:59,962 Hello, g... Oh, they're gorgeous. 1684 01:20:00,046 --> 01:20:01,964 What's her name? Oh, my heavens! 1685 01:20:02,048 --> 01:20:03,007 Paddy. 1686 01:20:03,090 --> 01:20:04,008 Hello, Paddy! 1687 01:20:04,091 --> 01:20:05,009 Wow! 1688 01:20:05,092 --> 01:20:06,010 Yeah. 1689 01:20:06,093 --> 01:20:07,595 How lucky are we? 1690 01:20:07,678 --> 01:20:10,389 Oh, it's so gorgeous here. 1691 01:20:21,275 --> 01:20:22,944 Come and play, Grandpa! 1692 01:20:23,027 --> 01:20:25,780 Oh, later, sweetheart. I gotta have my power nap. 1693 01:20:25,863 --> 01:20:27,114 Okay. 1694 01:20:27,198 --> 01:20:28,074 Okay. 1695 01:20:37,583 --> 01:20:39,168 Ah! 1696 01:20:51,931 --> 01:20:54,225 ♪ Hello, my baby, hello, my honey 1697 01:20:54,308 --> 01:20:56,435 ♪ Hello, my ragtime gal 1698 01:20:56,519 --> 01:20:58,938 ♪ Send me a kiss by wire 1699 01:20:59,021 --> 01:21:00,731 ♪ Baby, my heart's on fire 1700 01:21:00,815 --> 01:21:02,567 ♪ If you refuse me, honey, you'll lose me 1701 01:21:02,650 --> 01:21:03,609 Oh, shit. 1702 01:21:03,693 --> 01:21:05,319 ♪ Then you'll be left alone 1703 01:21:05,403 --> 01:21:09,991 ♪ Oh, baby, telephone and tell me I'm your own! ♪ 1704 01:21:11,576 --> 01:21:13,536 ♪ Got me feeling ♪ 1705 01:21:13,619 --> 01:21:15,413 ♪ Got me feeling good ♪ 1706 01:21:17,540 --> 01:21:19,750 ♪ All the rocky roads ♪ 1707 01:21:19,834 --> 01:21:23,462 ♪ Never felt so smooth ♪ 1708 01:21:23,546 --> 01:21:26,924 ♪ I will shake to left And shake to the right ♪ 1709 01:21:27,008 --> 01:21:29,510 ♪ Shake it all day Then I shake it all night ♪ 1710 01:21:29,594 --> 01:21:31,470 ♪ Got me feeling ♪ 1711 01:21:31,554 --> 01:21:34,849 ♪ Got me feeling good ♪ 1712 01:21:34,932 --> 01:21:37,852 ♪ You make me go: Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da ♪ 1713 01:21:37,935 --> 01:21:40,771 ♪ You make me go: Mm-ba-da-pa-pa ♪ 1714 01:21:40,855 --> 01:21:43,899 ♪ You make me go: Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da ♪ 1715 01:21:43,983 --> 01:21:47,028 ♪ You make me go: Mm-ba-da-pa-pa ♪ 1716 01:21:47,111 --> 01:21:49,947 ♪ You make me go: Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da ♪ 1717 01:21:50,031 --> 01:21:52,908 ♪ You make me go: Mm-ba-da-pa-pa ♪ 1718 01:21:52,992 --> 01:21:56,037 ♪ You make me go: Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da ♪ 1719 01:21:56,120 --> 01:21:59,915 ♪ You make me go: Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da ♪ 1720 01:21:59,999 --> 01:22:02,043 ♪ Got me feeling good Got me feeling good ♪ 1721 01:22:02,126 --> 01:22:03,794 ♪ Got me feeling good, good ♪ 1722 01:22:03,878 --> 01:22:05,254 ♪ Got me feeling good, good ♪ 1723 01:22:12,720 --> 01:22:14,555 Now, that's a... 1724 01:22:14,639 --> 01:22:17,558 really dumb way to shave. 1725 01:22:17,642 --> 01:22:19,685 ♪ Gotta cut off ♪ 1726 01:22:19,769 --> 01:22:22,229 ♪ All my troublesome blues ♪ 1727 01:22:22,313 --> 01:22:23,648 ♪ Hey ♪ 1728 01:22:23,731 --> 01:22:25,691 ♪ Got me feeling like ♪ 1729 01:22:25,775 --> 01:22:27,652 ♪ I got nothing to lose ♪ 1730 01:22:27,735 --> 01:22:29,362 ♪ Hoo-hoo ♪ 1731 01:22:29,445 --> 01:22:32,615 ♪ I will shake to left And shake to the right ♪ 1732 01:22:32,698 --> 01:22:35,660 ♪ Shake it all day Then I shake it all night ♪ 1733 01:22:35,743 --> 01:22:37,787 ♪ Got me feeling ♪ 1734 01:22:37,870 --> 01:22:41,123 ♪ Got me feeling good Now, now, now ♪ 1735 01:22:41,207 --> 01:22:44,043 ♪ You make me go: Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da ♪ 1736 01:22:44,126 --> 01:22:46,712 ♪ You make me go: Mm-ba-da-pa-pa ♪ 1737 01:22:46,796 --> 01:22:50,049 ♪ You make me go: Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da ♪ 1738 01:22:50,132 --> 01:22:53,094 ♪ You make me go: Mm-ba-da-pa-pa ♪ 1739 01:22:53,177 --> 01:22:56,180 ♪ You make me go: Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da ♪ 1740 01:22:56,263 --> 01:22:58,974 ♪ You make me go: Mm-ba-da-pa-pa ♪ 1741 01:22:59,058 --> 01:23:02,186 ♪ You make me go: Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da ♪ 1742 01:23:02,269 --> 01:23:05,439 ♪ You make me go: Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da ♪ 1743 01:23:05,523 --> 01:23:08,275 ♪ You've got me feeling good Got me feeling good ♪ 1744 01:23:08,359 --> 01:23:11,612 ♪ Got me feeling good, good Got me feeling good, good ♪ 1745 01:23:11,696 --> 01:23:14,365 ♪ You've got me feeling good Got me feeling good ♪ 1746 01:23:14,448 --> 01:23:17,618 ♪ Got me feeling good, good Got me feeling good, good ♪ 1747 01:23:17,702 --> 01:23:19,495 ♪ Yeah, you've got me Feeling good ♪ 1748 01:23:19,578 --> 01:23:21,914 ♪ Got me feeling good Got me feeling good, good ♪ 1749 01:23:21,997 --> 01:23:23,666 ♪ Got me feeling good, good ♪ 1750 01:23:23,749 --> 01:23:25,543 ♪ Yeah, you've got me Feeling good ♪ 1751 01:23:25,626 --> 01:23:27,962 ♪ Got me feeling good Got me feeling good, good ♪ 1752 01:23:28,045 --> 01:23:29,672 ♪ Got me feeling good, good ♪ 1753 01:23:29,755 --> 01:23:32,216 ♪ You make me go: Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da ♪ 1754 01:23:32,299 --> 01:23:34,969 ♪ You make me go: Mm-ba-da-pa-pa ♪ 1755 01:23:35,052 --> 01:23:38,139 ♪ You make me go: Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da ♪ 1756 01:23:38,222 --> 01:23:41,016 ♪ You make me go: Mm-ba-da-pa-pa ♪ 1757 01:23:41,100 --> 01:23:44,103 ♪ You make me go: Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da ♪ 1758 01:23:44,186 --> 01:23:46,772 ♪ You make me go: Mm-ba-da-pa-pa ♪ 1759 01:23:46,856 --> 01:23:50,192 ♪ You make me go: Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da ♪ 1760 01:23:50,276 --> 01:23:54,196 ♪ You make me go: Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da ♪ 1761 01:26:31,395 --> 01:26:34,148 ♪ You wave the shiny Little thing in my face ♪ 1762 01:26:34,231 --> 01:26:37,568 ♪ But kid, your piece of cutlery Is quite a disgrace ♪ 1763 01:26:37,651 --> 01:26:40,821 ♪ You look at me as if I should now run for my life ♪ 1764 01:26:40,905 --> 01:26:43,324 ♪ But that's not a knife ♪ 1765 01:26:43,407 --> 01:26:46,911 ♪ You think your little toy Is gonna fill me with dread ♪ 1766 01:26:46,994 --> 01:26:50,080 ♪ But you should take that home File your toenails instead ♪ 1767 01:26:50,164 --> 01:26:53,500 ♪ You're embarrassing yourself In front of my future wife ♪ 1768 01:26:53,584 --> 01:26:56,337 ♪ 'Cause that's not a knife ♪ 1769 01:26:56,420 --> 01:26:59,798 ♪ You should turn away From your life of crime ♪ 1770 01:26:59,882 --> 01:27:03,177 ♪ Do something more worthwhile With your time ♪ 1771 01:27:03,260 --> 01:27:06,305 ♪ Buddy, why you looking So deflated? 1772 01:27:06,388 --> 01:27:12,353 ♪ Maybe 'cause your implement Is not serrated ♪ 1773 01:27:12,436 --> 01:27:15,689 ♪ I can see you're not The sharpest tool in the shed ♪ 1774 01:27:15,773 --> 01:27:17,650 ♪ But I wouldn't use That little thing ♪ 1775 01:27:17,733 --> 01:27:19,610 ♪ To butter my bread ♪ 1776 01:27:19,693 --> 01:27:22,279 ♪ Kid, if I were you I'd bloody run for my life ♪ 1777 01:27:22,363 --> 01:27:25,074 ♪ 'Cause that's not a knife ♪ 1778 01:27:25,157 --> 01:27:28,243 ♪ No, that's not a knife ♪ 1779 01:27:28,327 --> 01:27:31,372 ♪ No, that's not a knife ♪ 1780 01:27:31,455 --> 01:27:33,123 ♪ That's a knife ♪ 1781 01:27:33,207 --> 01:27:36,043 ♪ Oh, yes, that is a knife ♪ 1782 01:27:36,126 --> 01:27:38,921 ♪ That is definitely a knife ♪ 1783 01:27:39,004 --> 01:27:44,301 ♪ That's a knife ♪ 1784 01:27:44,385 --> 01:27:45,552 That's a knife. 1785 01:27:50,104 --> 01:27:55,104 Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org 123071

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