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Councilwoman Dunphy, how do you respond
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to allegations that you look super sexy in your new suit?
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Uh, I haven't been elected yet.
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Come on, kids! We gotta vote!
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- Honey, come on. Please stop filming.
- I'm just excited!
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After today, you are going to be a councilwoman,
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and I am going to be a first husband.
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And if you don't stop filming,
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you're going to be my first husband.
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All right, everybody, come on!
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Do you know what you're doing, kids?
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You guys are manning the phone banks.
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Alex, you're in charge of that.
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Wh-why is she in charge? And what's--what's a phone bank?
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That's why.
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- Phil.
- I got it.
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I will be driving 50 of our finest senior citizens to the polls,
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assuming, of course, that they remember that I'm coming for them.
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- Where you at?
- High-five.
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Old people occasionally forget things.
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Okay. All right, everybody, let's go. Let's go.
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Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Real quick!
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Sorry. Everybody get in there. Jump in there.
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I just want to say how proud of you we all are.
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You're an inspiration.
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Who would have thought that 20 years ago
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when you were still in the bloom of your youth--
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Okay, I'm gonna go start the car.
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Claire likes to win.
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When she was 8, a little girl scout friend of hers
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bragged she could sell the most cookies.
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Damn if Claire didn't walk the neighborhood
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till she got blisters on her feet and won by ten boxes.
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Best part is
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Claire wasn't even a girl scout.
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The choice is Claire!
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Vote Claire Dunphy for town council.
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Aw, I love it!
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- What do you think, huh?
- I love it.
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We got it on Craigslist.
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- Came off a taco truck.
- It did.
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I know how important winning is to Claire.
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And I love to festoon things.
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We're her dream team.
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So we cleared the whole day, dropped Lily off at school,
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and voted first thing.
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Although, uh, one of us had a bit of a dimpled chad situation.
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Can you tell me how this machine works again, Chad?
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Oh, sure. No problem.
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Just wanna look in here. Just--
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Thank you. Thank you.
54
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- Bye! Bye!
- Thank you, guys!
55
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I can see Clairely now that Duane is gone.
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Bye! Thank you! Oh, my gosh.
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Okay, everybody, get in the car. Let's go. Let's go.
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Good luck today, Claire.
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Oh, Laurie, thank you.
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Hey, by the way, we have some really good news.
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- What's that?
- Becky got into the University of Oregon.
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Oh, congratulations!
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Any news, Haley?
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Uh, uh, no, not-- not yet,
65
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but, you know, super psyched!
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This whole waiting-to-hear thing has been a nightmare
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since the very first letter.
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I'm too nervous. I can't do it.
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"Dear miss Dunphy,
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we regret to inform you..."
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What?! Don't leave me hanging!
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After that, I decided to only tell my parents good news.
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I have one school left,
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and the only good news I've gotten
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is that my annoying neighbor Becky
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is moving back east to Oregon.
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- Manny, write this down.
- I didn't bring a pen.
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Election day is America at its finest.
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The people speak, and the government listens.
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I don't know what they do in Colombia.
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No one does, and don't ask.
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I mean, we know that voting's a privilege,
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but for my daughter to have her name on that ballot,
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it just means so much more--
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You know what? I think I'm gonna vote later.
86
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What? Where are you going?
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Ah, the line is too long.
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It's only three people! And nobody has a gun!
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We're here, we're Claire,
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get used to it!
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You know, I'm not sure if that's tracking.
92
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Here, let me try one.
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You don't have to be Clairevoyant to know who to vote for.
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Vote Dunphy for town council.
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Uh, uh, uh, Claire Dunphy.
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Uh, C-Caire's her first name.
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I'm sorry if that wasn't Claire.
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Oh, my God. Look at that. There's a trash can right there,
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and that guy just threw his paper on the sidewalk.
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Hey! You in the yellow jacket.
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Pick it up and put it in the trash.
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- Oh, my God. He did it.
- Yes, he did.
103
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Ooh, here. Let me try one.I'll try...
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Hey, dragon tattoo, no jaywalking!
105
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oh, my gosh.
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This is an instrument of power.
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How could they not sell tacos?
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You know what we could do with this thing?
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Cam, we could really make a difference.
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We could be the voice of change.
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Ooh, I got it!
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Let's go yell at the dry cleaner that lost my shirt.
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Come on, gang.
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Today is the Dunphys at their best.
115
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I'm from the "Weekly Saver." Mind if I ask you
116
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- a couple questions about the big election?
- Not at all.
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Fire away.
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Who are you voting for today?
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Claire Dunphy.
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Finally. I've been waiting for someone to say that name.
121
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Why?
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Uh... Because I am Claire Dunphy.
123
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Oh, sorry. They moved me over from ad sales.
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We take turns reporting.
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How do you feel about your chances today?
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Not as good as I did a few minutes ago.
127
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No, she feels great.
128
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Um, her spirits are high. The whole family's high.
129
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- There's your headline.
- Phil, no.
130
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Uh, how about a photo of all of you?
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- Yeah. Sure. Yes.
- Mom, mom, mom. Tag.
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- Tag's still on.
- Oh, my Goodness.
133
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Thank you.
134
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That would have been a really awkward picture. Okay.
135
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No!
136
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What is that?
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Is that a tooth?
138
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- Ew!
- Awesome!
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How old are you? No!
140
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- Do it again!
- How does that even happen?
141
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It's a-a fake tooth from an old ice-skating injury.
142
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- It just fell out.
- Oh, my gosh. Why today?!
143
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- What about the...
- Let's not overreact.
144
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- Let's--let me see it.
- Okay. All right.
145
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Got it. Thanks.
146
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What happened back there?
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Line was too long. I couldn't wait.
148
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I've seen you wait 45 minutes in line for sherbet!
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Well, I happen to like sherbet, okay?
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That place I take you
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has the greatest sherbet on the west coast.
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They got lime sherbet, they got coconut sherbet.
153
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Why are we talking about sherbet?
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He's clearly changing the subject.
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Why aren't you in school?
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He's doing it again.
157
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Manny's right. You're being very ardilla.
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- "Ardilla"?
- Yeah, you know, the--
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The one that--that--
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- Rabbit? I was being rabbit-y?
- No, another one
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- With the cheeks and the tail and...
- Chipmunk?
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- Possum?
-Okay, obviously she means squirrel.
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You were being squirrely then,
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- You're being squirrely now.
- Better than being a rat.
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Manny, give us a minute.
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Oh, sure. I served him up on a silver platter.
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What?
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All right, it's no big deal.
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There was a woman working there.
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I didn't want her to see me.
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- Who is she?
- Her name is Dottie.
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She's the first woman I dated after my divorce.
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You dated a Dottie after Dede?
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Y-you're focusing on the wrong thing here.
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The--the point is it ended badly.
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I tried to let her down easy, but, uh,
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she didn't take it too well.
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Actually, I don't know how she took it,
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'cause I wasn't there.
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We dated a few weeks, then after we... You know,
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I slipped out of her house before she woke up
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and never called her again.
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Put my pants on in her yard, put the car in neutral,
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let it roll down the driveway, lights off.
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Hey, I can't talk about this anymore.
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So because of this woman,
187
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you didn't vote for your daughter?
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It's Claire! We need her to win!
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I don't want to be around when something that tight comes unraveled.
190
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I'll figure out something.
191
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Maybe those poll workers take shifts.
192
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Stop hiding in your little cave like a--
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Like, you know. Like the-- the--the--
194
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- I really don't wanna do this again.
- No, the--
195
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No. No. The big one, like, uh, the monster furry one.
196
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Ay, why can't I remember any animal names?
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Climb aboard the Dunphy Express.
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Next stop--democracy.
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- Well--no, no...
- Please don't go.
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I won't do that anymore. I promise.
201
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Oh. Uh, we need to make a quick stop.
202
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I gotta pick up my new glasses.
203
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No can do. I, uh...
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I got a lot of people waitin', so...
205
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It'll just take two minutes.
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I can't even see the ballot without my glasses.
207
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I mark the wrong box,
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next thing you know I'll be married to a guy.
209
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Yeah, I-- I don't think it's mandatory, Walt.
210
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I'm a good dancer. They'll come for me.
211
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Oh, yeah.
212
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They will break all your buttons...
213
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and say you brought it in that way.
214
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Okay, go, go, go!
215
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Turns out we had a lot of axes to grind.
216
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And a hybrid, so there was virtually no stopping us.
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Do not see that movie!
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You will neither laugh nor cry!
219
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"Best pizza in the city"?
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Not even the best pizza on this street.
221
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They do not do the hair of the people on those pictures!
222
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"Totally free checking"?
223
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Don't bank on it!
224
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Okay, that was really fun,
225
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But now we gotta go back to campaigning for Claire.
226
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We've been saying that for two hours.
227
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Yes, but now I-I really mean it.
228
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- Oh, my god, there's Sandy!
- Sandra Bullock?
229
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Yeah, Sandra Bullock.
230
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We're such good friends, I call her "Sandy," So...
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No, Sandy who works at Lily's preschool.
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- Right there.
- Oh, yeah.
233
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- You know, she got engaged.
- No!
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- To the gay boyfriend?
- Totally.
235
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Oh, how does she not see it?
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If I was with somebody that gorgeous,
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I'd overlook a few quirks, too.
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First of all, thank you.
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Second of all...
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point well taken.
241
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I don't know. Poor Sandy. I feel so bad for her.
242
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- Well, it's better than being alone.
- Is it?
243
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She's looking over here.
244
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- Oh, my god.
- Mitchell, you're sitting on the button.
245
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What? No--no, I'm not. No, I'm not!
246
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The--it's stuck!
247
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And you're the one that had it last
248
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- when you were talking to the cheese shop!
- Because you know what?
249
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If you advertise truffle cheese,
250
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- there are certain expectations...
- Hi, Sandy.
251
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Yeah, I'm calling on behalf of Claire Dunphy.
252
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- What a beautiful name.
- She used to be a citizen.
253
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I'm calling on behalf of Claire Dunphy for town council.
254
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All right. How about this?
255
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if you vote for Claire Dunphy...
256
00:09:26,992 --> 00:09:30,673
You won't have to pay taxes for the rest of your life.
257
00:09:30,723 --> 00:09:32,164
Vote for Claire!
258
00:09:32,915 --> 00:09:34,643
Luke! What are you doing?
259
00:09:34,693 --> 00:09:35,602
You can't say that!
260
00:09:35,652 --> 00:09:37,683
Oh, like she'd be the first politician
261
00:09:37,733 --> 00:09:39,413
to make a promise she can't keep.
262
00:09:39,463 --> 00:09:41,882
Well, maybe I don't want to talk to you, either.
263
00:09:41,932 --> 00:09:43,943
Maybe you are the one that is bothering me!
264
00:09:43,993 --> 00:09:45,608
How do you like that? Eh?
265
00:09:46,603 --> 00:09:49,032
Gloria, I'm gonna have to ask you again
266
00:09:49,082 --> 00:09:51,682
to please stick to your script.
267
00:09:51,732 --> 00:09:53,313
But everybody's saying no to me!
268
00:09:53,363 --> 00:09:54,373
I don't get it.
269
00:09:54,423 --> 00:09:56,203
Usually when I ask someone to do something,
270
00:09:56,253 --> 00:09:57,252
they just do it!
271
00:09:57,302 --> 00:09:59,562
Maybe it's because these people can't see you.
272
00:09:59,612 --> 00:10:00,859
I don't like it.
273
00:10:00,909 --> 00:10:04,323
Can't you just hook me up to some sort of camera?
274
00:10:04,893 --> 00:10:06,313
Well, thank you, Maggie, for the vote.
275
00:10:06,363 --> 00:10:07,777
Okay. Bye-bye.
276
00:10:10,023 --> 00:10:11,413
Here's your seat.
277
00:10:11,463 --> 00:10:14,073
Thank you. Um, you'll have to excuse me.
278
00:10:14,123 --> 00:10:16,793
I'm a little nervous. I've never been on the radio before.
279
00:10:16,843 --> 00:10:17,923
Don't worry about it.
280
00:10:17,973 --> 00:10:20,253
- Just think of it as a conversation.
- Okay.
281
00:10:20,303 --> 00:10:22,533
Here are your headphones. Volume control.
282
00:10:22,583 --> 00:10:24,513
- Don't get too far from the mike.
- Okay.
283
00:10:24,563 --> 00:10:26,003
Make sure your cell phone's off.
284
00:10:26,053 --> 00:10:27,483
Oh. Cell phone. Right. Um...
285
00:10:27,533 --> 00:10:28,843
And you're not chewing gum, are you?
286
00:10:28,893 --> 00:10:31,283
No, I'm not. I just had some temporary
287
00:10:31,333 --> 00:10:31,953
dental work done.
288
00:10:32,003 --> 00:10:33,747
The last thing I need--
289
00:10:35,703 --> 00:10:38,213
And welcome back to "A matter of record."
290
00:10:38,263 --> 00:10:40,173
I'm Cecil Van Gundy.
291
00:10:40,593 --> 00:10:43,543
Joining us now in studio is district 43
292
00:10:43,593 --> 00:10:47,163
town council candidate Claire Dunphy.
293
00:10:48,663 --> 00:10:50,022
Thank you, Cecil.
294
00:10:51,172 --> 00:10:52,413
It's a pleasure to be here.
295
00:10:52,463 --> 00:10:54,703
So... You're a first-time candidate.
296
00:10:54,753 --> 00:10:56,313
Tell us what got you involved.
297
00:10:56,363 --> 00:10:58,503
It all started with a, um...
298
00:10:58,553 --> 00:11:00,003
With a stop sign.
299
00:11:00,513 --> 00:11:04,130
I was concerned about safety in our neighbourhood
300
00:11:04,180 --> 00:11:08,763
and I was not getting any satisfaction from city hall.
301
00:11:08,813 --> 00:11:10,273
What's wrong with mom?
302
00:11:10,323 --> 00:11:11,693
Oh, this isn't good.
303
00:11:11,743 --> 00:11:13,213
She sounds drunk!
304
00:11:13,263 --> 00:11:14,713
That's not her drunk voice.
305
00:11:14,763 --> 00:11:17,253
Tell us about some of the other issues facing our town.
306
00:11:17,303 --> 00:11:19,623
Where do you stand on the city's
307
00:11:19,673 --> 00:11:21,513
sewage and sustainability initiative,
308
00:11:21,563 --> 00:11:24,013
the so-called S.S.I.?
309
00:11:24,063 --> 00:11:25,843
One cannot really talk about
310
00:11:25,893 --> 00:11:28,153
s-s-sewage and sustainability
311
00:11:28,203 --> 00:11:31,440
without first discussing... recycling.
312
00:11:31,613 --> 00:11:33,452
This city can do more...
313
00:11:33,502 --> 00:11:34,990
- What the hell's wrong with her?
- with the recycling program...
314
00:11:35,040 --> 00:11:36,133
She sounds drunk!
315
00:11:36,183 --> 00:11:38,510
- ...currently...
- It's a tooth thing.
316
00:11:39,295 --> 00:11:39,883
What's wrong?
317
00:11:39,933 --> 00:11:41,943
Oh, I'm almost out of air. Oh, boy.
318
00:11:41,993 --> 00:11:43,193
Is that serious?
319
00:11:43,243 --> 00:11:45,402
Is oxygen serious?
320
00:11:45,452 --> 00:11:47,643
You know what? I lost a ton of time getting your glasses.
321
00:11:47,693 --> 00:11:48,903
I'm just gonna drop you at home.
322
00:11:48,953 --> 00:11:51,303
You can get your air. I can drive other people.
323
00:11:51,353 --> 00:11:53,273
I don't have any more tanks at home.
324
00:11:53,323 --> 00:11:55,253
Why? That seems like bad planning.
325
00:11:55,303 --> 00:11:56,723
Well, I forgot to order them.
326
00:11:56,773 --> 00:11:59,294
My pills make me forget things.
327
00:11:59,554 --> 00:12:01,393
Oh, shoot! I gotta take my pill!
328
00:12:01,443 --> 00:12:02,683
Please tell me you have it with you.
329
00:12:02,733 --> 00:12:05,087
Of course I do, but I have to take 'em with food.
330
00:12:05,137 --> 00:12:06,803
- Don't I?
- Are you asking me?
331
00:12:06,853 --> 00:12:08,978
Uh, yes! I do take them with food!
332
00:12:09,483 --> 00:12:11,003
Ooh. I don't feel so well.
333
00:12:11,053 --> 00:12:12,753
Okay, I'll get you whatever you want!
334
00:12:12,803 --> 00:12:14,873
I'll get you the air, I'll get you the food.
335
00:12:14,923 --> 00:12:16,553
Then I'll vote for your drunk wife.
336
00:12:16,603 --> 00:12:18,863
That is not her drunk voice!
337
00:12:19,574 --> 00:12:21,653
Thank you so much for voting.
338
00:12:21,713 --> 00:12:23,983
We appreciate it.
339
00:12:27,263 --> 00:12:29,623
Hi. I'm terribly sorry. Excuse me. Jay Pritchett.
340
00:12:29,673 --> 00:12:31,473
Uh, can I get in-- in and out really quick?
341
00:12:31,523 --> 00:12:32,233
Thank you. This is all I needed.
342
00:12:32,283 --> 00:12:34,736
Thank you very much.
Thank you very much.
343
00:12:35,823 --> 00:12:37,723
All right. Claire, Claire, Claire.
344
00:12:37,773 --> 00:12:39,813
Claire, Claire-- ahh, ahh. Here.
345
00:12:42,836 --> 00:12:44,745
I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
346
00:12:45,943 --> 00:12:47,410
Hello, Dottie!
347
00:12:48,708 --> 00:12:51,738
Jay! It's so nice to see you!
348
00:12:51,888 --> 00:12:54,208
- Is it?
- Oh, why wouldn't it be?
349
00:12:55,558 --> 00:12:57,958
That was a long time ago. Water under the bridge.
350
00:12:58,008 --> 00:13:00,058
- We're good.
- Oh, that's great.
351
00:13:00,108 --> 00:13:02,168
Thank you so much for voting.
352
00:13:02,218 --> 00:13:04,238
You remember my daughter Claire. She's--
353
00:13:04,288 --> 00:13:05,748
She's running for town council.
354
00:13:05,798 --> 00:13:08,978
- Oh, isn't that neat?
- Yeah, I'm so proud.
355
00:13:10,388 --> 00:13:12,008
So you're gonna put it in there, huh?
356
00:13:12,058 --> 00:13:14,408
Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah. Definitely.
357
00:13:14,458 --> 00:13:16,568
cause every vote counts, you know.
358
00:13:16,618 --> 00:13:18,931
Thank you so much for voting.
359
00:13:19,589 --> 00:13:20,498
- You know...
- Yeah.
360
00:13:20,548 --> 00:13:22,668
Boy, I'd sure like to see the sweet sight
361
00:13:22,718 --> 00:13:25,448
of my vote... counting.
362
00:13:25,998 --> 00:13:28,040
Why would I say I'd do something and not do it?
363
00:13:28,090 --> 00:13:30,128
That would make me a liar...
364
00:13:30,178 --> 00:13:31,788
instead of a trusting widow
365
00:13:31,838 --> 00:13:33,798
Who fell asleep in the warm embrace
366
00:13:33,848 --> 00:13:35,908
of a man who promised to make breakfast.
367
00:13:35,958 --> 00:13:37,538
Okay, here it is.
368
00:13:38,068 --> 00:13:39,808
Look, I am so sorry.
369
00:13:40,738 --> 00:13:43,708
You were the first woman I'd been with besides my ex--
370
00:13:43,758 --> 00:13:45,038
35 years.
371
00:13:45,428 --> 00:13:46,258
I panicked.
372
00:13:46,308 --> 00:13:48,818
An-and it wasn't 'cause y-you weren't pretty naked
373
00:13:48,868 --> 00:13:49,829
or anything like that.
374
00:13:49,879 --> 00:13:51,359
I'd have run from Angie Dickinson.
375
00:13:51,409 --> 00:13:53,240
- Oh, lucky her.
- Dottie--
376
00:13:53,290 --> 00:13:54,856
- Good-bye, Jay!
- Dottie, Dottie, please.
377
00:13:54,906 --> 00:13:56,648
I'm just trying to get my ballot in the box.
378
00:13:56,698 --> 00:13:58,218
oh, yeah, that sounds familiar.
379
00:13:58,268 --> 00:13:59,958
Yeah, but you don't have to do anything.
380
00:14:00,008 --> 00:14:01,468
Just let me put it in!
381
00:14:01,518 --> 00:14:03,374
Uhh. Shouldn't have said that.
382
00:14:04,858 --> 00:14:06,118
We are so sorry.
383
00:14:06,168 --> 00:14:09,068
We did not mean for you to hear any of that.
384
00:14:09,118 --> 00:14:09,688
Yes, and you know what?
385
00:14:09,738 --> 00:14:11,610
We shouldn't have been gossiping in the first place.
386
00:14:11,660 --> 00:14:12,861
But what if you're right?
387
00:14:12,911 --> 00:14:14,868
What if Gregory is gay?
388
00:14:14,918 --> 00:14:16,458
When my mom said it,
I didn't believe her.
389
00:14:16,508 --> 00:14:17,208
She lives in Iowa.
390
00:14:17,258 --> 00:14:18,446
But coming from you two!
391
00:14:18,496 --> 00:14:19,611
- Means nothing.
- No.
392
00:14:19,661 --> 00:14:21,464
We barely know your fiance.
393
00:14:21,514 --> 00:14:24,538
- If he says he's straight, he's straight.
- Mm. Straight.
394
00:14:24,588 --> 00:14:25,998
We're getting married in a month.
395
00:14:26,048 --> 00:14:27,228
People are flying in.
396
00:14:27,278 --> 00:14:28,718
He signed us up for dance classes.
397
00:14:28,768 --> 00:14:30,008
Oh, my god!
398
00:14:30,058 --> 00:14:31,508
No. No, no, no. Hey.
399
00:14:31,558 --> 00:14:32,828
- This is what gays do.
- Yeah.
400
00:14:32,878 --> 00:14:33,938
- We gossip.
- We gossip a lot.
401
00:14:33,988 --> 00:14:35,148
He gossips!
402
00:14:35,198 --> 00:14:37,538
No. No. You're missing the point, okay?
403
00:14:37,588 --> 00:14:39,178
We see a great-looking guy like Gregory,
404
00:14:39,228 --> 00:14:42,048
and we say he's gay because we want him to be gay!
405
00:14:42,098 --> 00:14:43,988
- Really? Really? Are you sure?
- Yes. Yes.
406
00:14:44,038 --> 00:14:46,178
Absolutely. Look at what we do with movie stars.
407
00:14:46,228 --> 00:14:46,618
Okay.
408
00:14:46,668 --> 00:14:48,948
You know? Hugh Jackman-- he sings, he dances,
409
00:14:48,998 --> 00:14:50,228
He's dreamy!
410
00:14:50,278 --> 00:14:53,338
So obviously we would want him on our team!
411
00:14:53,458 --> 00:14:54,668
- Yeah.
- But he's straight.
412
00:14:54,718 --> 00:14:56,648
Trust me, I know.
413
00:14:56,798 --> 00:14:58,448
I said hello to him once in a restaurant,
414
00:14:58,498 --> 00:15:01,168
and there was absolutely no chemistry.
415
00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:03,319
Well, if that isn't proof...
416
00:15:03,598 --> 00:15:05,748
Three weeks later, Sandy and Gregory got married,
417
00:15:05,798 --> 00:15:07,928
and everyone said the wedding was beautiful.
418
00:15:07,978 --> 00:15:10,027
Gregory did the flowers....
419
00:15:10,808 --> 00:15:13,453
Which is perfectly normal for a straight guy.
420
00:15:16,008 --> 00:15:18,848
The Greeks do one thing right, and it's lamb!
421
00:15:18,898 --> 00:15:20,588
All right. Let's go vote.
422
00:15:20,638 --> 00:15:23,368
Why the hell does your wife want to be a politician, anyway?
423
00:15:23,418 --> 00:15:25,058
You heard her. She wanted to put up
424
00:15:25,108 --> 00:15:26,748
a stop sign at Bristol and Greenleaf,
425
00:15:26,798 --> 00:15:27,658
But then she ran into--
426
00:15:27,708 --> 00:15:28,398
Wait, wait, wait!
427
00:15:28,448 --> 00:15:29,908
That's near where I live!
428
00:15:29,958 --> 00:15:32,208
Yeah. We're neighbors. Let's go!
429
00:15:32,258 --> 00:15:33,988
No way I'm voting for that!
430
00:15:34,038 --> 00:15:36,128
Too much government already.
431
00:15:36,178 --> 00:15:37,798
I didn't fight a war so some politician
432
00:15:37,848 --> 00:15:40,526
could tell me where I have to stop my car.
433
00:15:40,576 --> 00:15:41,892
You don't even drive!
434
00:15:41,942 --> 00:15:44,588
That's 'cause that Barack Obama took my license away.
435
00:15:44,638 --> 00:15:47,159
I don't think he was involved in the decision!
436
00:15:47,548 --> 00:15:49,688
I left the house today to get 50 votes for my wife.
437
00:15:49,738 --> 00:15:50,839
I'm not going home with zero.
438
00:15:50,889 --> 00:15:53,318
The least you can do is walk right in there
439
00:15:53,368 --> 00:15:54,668
and punch a hole for the woman
440
00:15:54,718 --> 00:15:57,538
who drags your garbage can up your driveway every Tuesday!
441
00:15:57,608 --> 00:16:00,148
I don't like it! Goes against everything I believe in.
442
00:16:00,208 --> 00:16:01,978
Really? A stop sign?!
443
00:16:02,028 --> 00:16:04,358
But I'll do it, 'cause you're a good kid.
444
00:16:04,988 --> 00:16:06,821
And I had a nice day...
445
00:16:07,098 --> 00:16:09,138
till you started yelling at me.
446
00:16:09,278 --> 00:16:11,008
So sorry. Thank you.
447
00:16:12,228 --> 00:16:13,428
Here you go.
448
00:16:13,478 --> 00:16:16,498
You know, my wife was an alcoholic, too.
449
00:16:16,548 --> 00:16:18,218
Okay. Let's just go vote.
450
00:16:18,268 --> 00:16:21,558
That's veteran political reporter
451
00:16:21,608 --> 00:16:22,128
Walter Shapiro.
452
00:16:22,178 --> 00:16:24,018
Hi, everyone!
453
00:16:25,288 --> 00:16:27,178
- Any news?
- Not yet, not yet,
454
00:16:27,228 --> 00:16:29,168
But even if I lose, at least now I know
455
00:16:29,218 --> 00:16:31,108
I have a future in radio.
456
00:16:31,498 --> 00:16:34,048
I couldn't. People need to see me.
457
00:16:34,418 --> 00:16:36,968
Before we get the results, I just want to thank you all
458
00:16:37,018 --> 00:16:39,168
for everything you've done for me.
459
00:16:39,678 --> 00:16:43,688
Mitch and Cam, for campaigning for me all day
460
00:16:43,738 --> 00:16:45,438
in your little Claire-mobile.
461
00:16:45,488 --> 00:16:47,118
- It's the least we could do.
- Yeah.
462
00:16:47,168 --> 00:16:48,188
Literally.
463
00:16:48,278 --> 00:16:49,988
We probably did more for Hugh Jackman's career
464
00:16:50,038 --> 00:16:51,886
than we did for Claire's.
465
00:16:52,228 --> 00:16:54,338
And, Manny and Gloria,
466
00:16:54,418 --> 00:16:56,931
thank you for making all those phone calls.
467
00:16:56,981 --> 00:16:58,268
And, dad...
468
00:16:58,528 --> 00:16:59,868
for all your support.
469
00:16:59,918 --> 00:17:02,728
I don't think I convinced anyone to vote for Claire.
470
00:17:02,928 --> 00:17:04,734
I don't think I even voted.
471
00:17:04,868 --> 00:17:06,618
And my husband...
472
00:17:08,117 --> 00:17:09,197
who drove around
473
00:17:09,247 --> 00:17:14,058
I don't know how many senior citizens today to the polls.
474
00:17:14,997 --> 00:17:16,028
One.
475
00:17:16,208 --> 00:17:18,398
And my beautiful children,
476
00:17:18,448 --> 00:17:21,298
whose faith has given me the confidence
477
00:17:21,348 --> 00:17:23,438
to believe that I can do this.
478
00:17:23,488 --> 00:17:24,338
I can--oh.
479
00:17:24,388 --> 00:17:25,938
- Somebody else answer it. I lost.
- Mom. Mom.
480
00:17:25,988 --> 00:17:26,568
- I can feel it. I--
- Mom.
481
00:17:26,618 --> 00:17:28,849
You can do it. Mom. Answer the phone.
482
00:17:31,258 --> 00:17:32,268
Hello?
483
00:17:32,717 --> 00:17:33,748
This is she.
484
00:17:37,148 --> 00:17:38,888
Thanks so much for calling.
485
00:17:39,248 --> 00:17:40,188
Bye-bye.
486
00:17:43,708 --> 00:17:46,108
I have some bad news.
487
00:17:47,112 --> 00:17:51,918
Because someone's gonna be busy now that she's a councilwoman?
488
00:17:53,458 --> 00:17:55,058
No, no, I wasn't doing that fake thing.
489
00:17:55,108 --> 00:17:59,218
- I really lost. I lost.
- Ay, no.
490
00:17:59,958 --> 00:18:02,978
I'm so sorry. But you know what?
491
00:18:04,023 --> 00:18:07,358
We are still just so proud of you.
492
00:18:09,300 --> 00:18:11,422
Yeah! I-- I don't know about you,
493
00:18:11,472 --> 00:18:14,428
But, um... I could use a glass of wine.
494
00:18:17,864 --> 00:18:20,118
Ohh. Now you're gonna hear her drunk voice.
495
00:18:24,500 --> 00:18:25,758
Mom?
496
00:18:26,843 --> 00:18:27,608
You okay?
497
00:18:27,658 --> 00:18:29,404
Yes. Fine. I'm good.
498
00:18:29,454 --> 00:18:31,351
I'm fine. I'm not fine. I wanted to win,
499
00:18:31,401 --> 00:18:34,428
And... and I'm so embarrassed.
500
00:18:36,093 --> 00:18:39,568
I mean, everybody out here worked so hard for me,
501
00:18:39,785 --> 00:18:41,548
and they believed in me,
502
00:18:41,833 --> 00:18:43,320
and I let 'em down.
503
00:18:46,222 --> 00:18:47,508
Oh, honey.
504
00:18:47,982 --> 00:18:49,698
Oh, sweetheart.
505
00:18:49,748 --> 00:18:53,248
Well, don't cry. I'm gonna be fine, sweetie.
506
00:18:53,298 --> 00:18:54,698
Really, I am.
507
00:18:55,988 --> 00:18:58,501
Just knowing you care so much makes me feel better.
508
00:18:59,210 --> 00:19:01,208
No, I got four rejection letters
509
00:19:01,258 --> 00:19:03,298
I never told you guys about.
510
00:19:05,328 --> 00:19:06,448
What?
511
00:19:07,115 --> 00:19:11,348
I got rejected from U.C.S.B., Oregon, Wisconsin...
512
00:19:11,398 --> 00:19:12,718
- Oh, no.
- And Northwestern.
513
00:19:12,768 --> 00:19:15,068
Well, we were overshooting on that one.
514
00:19:15,638 --> 00:19:16,738
What about, uh...
515
00:19:16,788 --> 00:19:19,818
It came today. My last chance.
516
00:19:20,833 --> 00:19:22,750
I'm too scared to open it.
517
00:19:23,208 --> 00:19:24,578
Whatever it says in there,
518
00:19:24,628 --> 00:19:27,588
your father and I are crazy proud of you.
519
00:19:27,758 --> 00:19:28,758
Okay?
520
00:19:28,808 --> 00:19:30,495
I did start trying this year.
521
00:19:30,545 --> 00:19:32,548
I know you did. You did.
522
00:19:32,598 --> 00:19:34,725
You have nothing to be ashamed of.
523
00:19:36,298 --> 00:19:37,558
Neither do you.
524
00:19:39,573 --> 00:19:41,082
It's a little bit different.
525
00:19:41,132 --> 00:19:43,868
No, it's exactly the same.
526
00:19:44,138 --> 00:19:46,748
Except you tried really hard the whole time,
527
00:19:46,798 --> 00:19:48,245
not just at the end.
528
00:19:50,188 --> 00:19:51,158
You're right.
529
00:19:51,208 --> 00:19:52,438
It is the same.
530
00:19:52,728 --> 00:19:54,628
We have nothing to be ashamed of...
531
00:19:54,678 --> 00:19:56,968
So let's open that together.
532
00:19:57,628 --> 00:19:58,938
Yeah, open it.
533
00:19:59,161 --> 00:20:00,745
What? No! What are you doing here?
534
00:20:00,795 --> 00:20:02,978
No. Come on, haley. We believe in you.
535
00:20:03,028 --> 00:20:03,878
Do it!
536
00:20:03,928 --> 00:20:05,564
You can always work for me.
537
00:20:05,614 --> 00:20:07,378
Come on. You can do it. You can do this.
538
00:20:07,428 --> 00:20:08,268
- Come on, Haley.
- All right.
539
00:20:08,318 --> 00:20:09,888
Open. Open, open, open.
540
00:20:14,128 --> 00:20:15,798
"Dear Miss Dunphy,
541
00:20:16,157 --> 00:20:17,752
We regret to inform you..."
542
00:20:17,802 --> 00:20:19,218
Oh, honey.
543
00:20:19,268 --> 00:20:21,998
"While we cannot offer you admission at this time,
544
00:20:22,048 --> 00:20:24,178
"You are a promising candidate, and therefore
545
00:20:24,228 --> 00:20:25,758
We would like to place you on our wait list!"
546
00:20:25,808 --> 00:20:27,701
Oh, my god, I got wait-listed!
547
00:20:27,858 --> 00:20:28,798
We will take it!
548
00:20:28,848 --> 00:20:30,528
Yeah!
549
00:20:31,398 --> 00:20:32,658
Congratulations! Congratulations!
550
00:20:32,708 --> 00:20:36,478
Our daughter might be going to college!
551
00:20:38,394 --> 00:20:40,634
Phil, look.
552
00:20:41,994 --> 00:20:43,204
A stop sign.
553
00:20:43,734 --> 00:20:45,369
It's addressed to you.
554
00:20:50,434 --> 00:20:52,784
"Dear Claire, I won. You lost.
555
00:20:52,834 --> 00:20:54,464
"Here's your stupid stop sign.
556
00:20:54,514 --> 00:20:55,954
"Next time you think about bothering me,
557
00:20:56,004 --> 00:20:57,774
"Please take its advice.
558
00:20:57,854 --> 00:21:01,124
Your councilman, the honorable Duane Bailey."
559
00:21:01,479 --> 00:21:03,014
Honey, you did it!
560
00:21:03,064 --> 00:21:04,044
I did it.
561
00:21:04,304 --> 00:21:06,834
I made our neighborhood a little bit safer.
562
00:21:07,141 --> 00:21:09,268
I may have even saved life.
563
00:21:11,633 --> 00:21:15,044
You idiot, there's stop sign!
Can't you read?
564
00:21:16,516 --> 00:21:17,402
we need speed bumps.
565
00:21:17,452 --> 00:21:20,464
No, no. No! Honey!
40915
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