Original subtitles

[♪♪]

♪ CHICAGO, CHICAGO

♪ THAT TODDLIN' TOWN

♪ CHICAGO, CHICAGO

♪ LET ME SHOW YOU AROUND

♪ I LOVE IT

♪ BET YOUR BOTTOM DOLLAR

♪ YOU'LL LOSE THE BLUES

♪ IN CHICAGO, CHICAGO

♪ THE TOWN THAT BILLY SUNDAY COULDN'T SHUT DOWN ♪

♪ ON STATE STREET THAT GREAT STREET ♪

♪ I JUST WANT TO SAY

♪ THEY DO THINGS THEY DON'T DO ON BROADWAY ♪

♪ YOU'LL HAVE THE TIME THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE ♪

♪ I SAW A MAN HE DANCED WITH HIS WIFE ♪

♪ IN CHICAGO, CHICAGO MY HOME TOWN! ♪

♪ CHICAGO, CHICAGO THAT TODDLIN' TOWN ♪

♪ CHICAGO, CHICAGO

♪ LET ME SHOW YOU AROUND

♪ I LOVE IT...

[ALARM CLOCK BEEPS]

[SIGHS HAPPILY]

BUENOS DIAS. COMO ESTAS?

"BUENOS DIAS.

COMO ESTAS?"

MUY BIEN!

YO QUIERO IR A LA PLAYA.

"YO QUIERO IR A LA PLAYA."

MUY BIEN!

GRACIAS!

LA BIBLIOTECA TIENES MUCHOS LIBROS.

LA BLIBLIO--

LA BIBLITECHO--

MUY BIEN!

[CALLING TO CAT]

HERE YOU GO.

[MESSAGE ALERT CHIMES]

[MESSAGE ALERT CHIMES]

GOOD MORNING, BEAUTIFUL.

GOOD MORNING, HONEY.

EN ESPANOL.

BUENOS DIAS, MI AMIGO.

YOU'RE ADORABLE.

DID YOU FINISH IT?

ALMOST.

DO NOT HOLD BACK.

I NEED YOUR HONEST OPINION.

IT'S WONDERFUL.

YOU DIDN'T FIND IT TOO TEDIOUS TO READ?

I MEAN, AS A LAYMAN?

NO, UH...

I TOTALLY UNDERSTOOD IT.

IT'S--

AH! I KNEW YOU'D LOVE IT.

MOTHER LOVES IT, TOO.

[SHIPS HORN BLARES]

OH! I GOTTA GO!

OH, WE'RE CHASING A SCHOOL OF FEMALE BLUE WHALES.

OOH, SOUNDS ROMANTIC.

SPEAKING OF,

I'M EXCITED FOR NOVEMBER 14TH

AND TO HEAR WHAT YOUR QUESTION IS.

I'M EXCITED FOR NOVEMBER 14TH TO HEAR WHAT YOUR ANSWER IS.

HEY, I LOVE YOU.

[LAUGHS AND BLOWS KISS]

GRETCHEN, I'M SORRY YOU FEEL THAT WAY.

I THINK YOU'RE A GREAT GIRL

AND YOU DESERVE TO HAVE EVERYTHING YOU WANT.

I JUST DON'T WANT THE SAME THINGS AS YOU.

I TOLD YOU WHEN WE MET

THAT I WASN'T LOOKING FOR A LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP.

[CLEARS THROAT]

OH, I AGREE.

I LOVE SPENDING TIME TOGETHER.

GRETCHEN, I DON'T WANT TO LEAD YOU ON.

OKAY. OKAY, FINE.

WE'LL JUST SEE HOW IT GOES OVER THE HOLIDAYS, OKAY?

SORRY, DO YOU MIND IF I SIT UP FRONT?

NO, NO. UH... NOT AT ALL.

GREAT.

WHERE TO, MR. WILLIAMS?

DRAKE HOTEL, PLEASE.

THIS YOUR FIRST TIME IN CHICAGO, SIR?

NO. I GREW UP HERE.

I JUST HAVEN'T BEEN BACK IN A WHILE.

WELL THEN, WELCOME HOME, SIR.

I AM SO HAPPY TO BE HERE TODAY

TO TALK TO YOU GUYS ABOUT THE HISTORY OF THE PARADE.

SO, CHICAGO'S FIRST PARADE

WAS CALLED "THE CHRISTMAS PARADE"

AND IT WAS HELD ON DECEMBER 7, 1934.

IT WAS A RECORD COLD DAY,

BUT EVERYONE CAME OUT TO SEE IT ANYWAY.

IT WAS FIRST TELEVISED IN 2007,

WHEN MANY OF YOU WERE JUST TODDLERS.

THERE ARE ENORMOUS HELIUM BALLOONS,

AS YOU KNOW,

BUT ALSO 1,000 HIGH SCHOOL BAND MEMBERS

APPEAR IN THE PARADE EVERY YEAR.

AND YOU KNOW WHO'S GOING TO BE THERE ON THE LAST FLOAT,

RIGHT?

PLEASE, WE'RE NOT FIVE YEARS OLD.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

YOU GUYS ARE WAY OLDER.

HE'S NOT REALLY SANTA CLAUS.

[SHOCKED] WHAT?

NOPE.

THE REAL SANTA CLAUS CANNOT LEAVE THE NORTH POLE

ON THANKSGIVING.

HE IS WAY TOO BUSY GETTING EVERYTHING READY FOR CHRISTMAS.

[GIGGLING]

BUT, SOMETIMES,

IF HE GETS ALL OF HIS TOYS DONE EARLY,

HE WILL COME TO CHICAGO TO BE IN THE PARADE.

[ALL CHEERING] COOL!

OF COURSE, WE NEVER KNOW IF HE'S GOING TO MAKE IT,

SO WE ALWAYS HIRE A GUY IN A SANTA SUIT

JUST IN CASE.

WATCH THE PARADE REALLY CLOSELY TO SEE IF IT'S THE REAL SANTA,

OR IF IT'S JUST A GOOD LOOK-ALIKE.

[ALL CHEERING]

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

HEY, LINDA, IT'S ME.

ANY MESSAGES?

TELL GRANT I'LL BE IN CHICAGO FOR ABOUT THREE WEEKS.

NO, I SENT YOU THE PROSPECTIVE ON L.A. TECH.

IF THEY WANT TO STAY COMPETITIVE,

THEY'LL HAVE TO DOWNSIZE BY HALF,

DIVERSIFY THEIR HOLDINGS

AND CONSIDER MOVING THEIR FACTORY OUT OF THE COUNTRY.

IT'S NOT POPULAR, BUT IT'S COST EFFECTIVE.

I'LL BE BUYING SOME RETAIL PROPERTY HERE,

SO TELL SAM TO EXPECT THE BANK TO CONTACT HIM.

JACQUELINE! WHERE ARE YOU?

EMILY, CLOSE YOUR EYES!

[SIGHING]

OKAY, OPEN!

[YELPS IN DELIGHT]

IT'S BEAUTIFUL!

IT'S A 1953 VINTAGE ORIGINAL,

POSSIBLY WORN BY SOMEONE

WHO LIVED HERE IN THE CITY.

IT JUST CAME IN YESTERDAY.

IT'S PERFECT.

IT'S MORE THAN PERFECT!

I KNOW.

CAN I AFFORD IT?

IT DOESN'T MATTER BECAUSE I'M WILLING TO ROB A BANK.

CAN I BORROW A MASK, A GUN, AND A GETAWAY CAR?

YOU DON'T NEED TO. IT'S YOUR WEDDING GIFT.

AW, THANK YOU.

BUT HE HASN'T ASKED YET.

- HE'S GOING TO. - I KNOW!

[GIGGLING]

OH, I LOVE IT.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

OH, I'M VINTAGE CINDERELLA.

HAVE YOU TOLD HIM YET?

NO.

WELL, IF YOU'RE GOING TO MARRY HIM, HE NEEDS TO KNOW.

I KNOW.

I'M WORKING ON IT.

DON'T WORRY, I'M GOING TO TELL HIM!

[DOUBTFULLY] OKAY...

YOU KNOW, YOU CAN GET OVER YOUR FEAR OF BOATS.

OKAY, OKAY, OKAY,

I'M GOING TO TRY AGAIN BEFORE HE GETS HOME.

WHAT...?

OH, WHAT HAPPENED TO THE BOOKSTORE?

IT'S CLOSED?

NOT JUST CLOSED.

OUT OF BUSINESS FOR GOOD.

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO OUR CITY?

HISTORICAL LANDMARKS ARE BEING DISCARDED

AND DESTROYED.

I WONDER HOW MANY BOOKS WERE SOLD HERE

OVER THE PAST 50 YEARS.

YOU KNOW,

WE SHOULD CHAIN OURSELVES TO THE BUILDING,

AND GO ON A READING AND HUNGER STRIKE

IN PROTEST.

YOU KNOW, I WOULD IF I THOUGHT IT WOULD MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

IT WOULDN'T.

THIS BUILDING IS A STRUCTURAL HAZARD.

IT NEEDS TO BE TORN DOWN BEFORE IT FALLS DOWN.

AND WHO EXACTLY ARE YOU TO SAY THAT?

I'M THE GUY

THAT CARED ENOUGH ABOUT THIS DILAPIDATED BUILDING

TO BUY IT, TEAR IT DOWN AND REBUILD IT

INTO THE PROFITABLE RETAIL OPPORTUNITY

IT DESERVES TO BE.

OH.

SO WE SHOULD THANK YOU

FOR DESTROYING THIS BELOVED LANDMARK OF LITERATURE.

DO YOU WASH YOUR CLOTHES?

I BEG YOUR PARDON?

DO YOU HAVE A REALLY GREAT SWEATER?

ONE THAT FEELS RIGHT

EVERY TIME YOU PUT IT ON.

ONE THAT BRINGS OUT THE GREEN IN YOUR EYES

AND MAKES YOU FEEL CONFIDENT, AND HAPPY AND COZY?

I DON'T.

WELL, YOU DON'T THROW THAT SWEATER AWAY

BECAUSE IT GETS A LITTLE MUSTARD ON THE ELBOW.

YOU DON'T BURN IT

BECAUSE IT LOSES A BUTTON OR FRAYS AT THE ELBOW.

NO!

YOU MEND IT, AND YOU WASH IT AND YOU SEW ON A NEW BUTTON.

WHY?

BECAUSE IT'S A GREAT SWEATER,

AND IT DESERVES TO BE CARED FOR,

AND RESPECTED, AND REPAIRED.

I'M SORRY,

IS THE SWEATER A METAPHOR

FOR THIS TERMITE-RIDDEN DEATH TRAP?

I BOUGHT MY FIRST NANCY DREW HERE.

I BOUGHT MY FIRST AGATHA CHRISTIE HERE.

NO ONE BUYS BOOKS ANYMORE, THEY DOWNLOAD THEM.

OH, MY GOD!

I KNOW, RIGHT?

HE'S SO OBNOXIOUS.

I WAS GOING TO SAY HE'S TOTALLY HOT.

[♪♪]

NOT SANTA, NOT SANTA,

NOT SANTA...

EW, NOT SANTA.

DEFINITELY NOT SANTA...

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

OKAY, THESE ARE THE BEST ONES WE GOT THIS YEAR.

YOU TOLD ME WE NEED TO FINISH BOOKING EVERYONE

BY THE END OF THE WEEK,

AND IT IS THE END OF THE WEEK.

ONE OF THOSE GUYS DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A BEARD.

MAYBE THEY COULD GROW ONE?

THE SANTA FLOAT IS THE FINALE OF THE PARADE.

HIS PRESENCE SIGNALS THE START OF THE HOLIDAY SEASON.

PEOPLE WILL HAVE BEEN

STANDING IN THE SNOW FOR MORE THAN THREE HOURS--

WAIT, IT'S GOING TO SNOW?

MAYBE.

THE POINT IS,

FOR SOME PEOPLE

THIS WILL BE THEIR FIRST PARADE

AND FOR OTHERS, SADLY, IT WILL BE THEIR LAST.

WE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR CREATING THOSE MEMORIES.

OKAY.

OKAY.

GOT IT.

[SIGHS]

SORRY.

...GONNA BE A LITTLE DIFFERENT FOR A FEW DAYS.

THANK YOU FOR JOINING US, EMILY.

AS I WAS SAYING,

THE CITY HAS HIRED AN OPERATIONS MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT

TO COME IN

AND EVALUATE THE PARADE'S REVENUE POTENTIAL...

WHAT?

THE MAYOR WANTS TO SEE

IF THE PARADE IS COST EFFECTIVE FOR THE CITY.

THAT'S RIDICULOUS!

THE PARADE ISN'T ABOUT MONEY.

THIS GUY IS RESPONSIBLE FOR REORGANIZING AND REBUILDING

THE FALCON CENTER IN MIAMI.

THE FALCON CENTER WAS COMPLETELY DESTROYED.

THEY TOOK OUT MOST OF THE SEATS

AND THEY BUILT PRIVATE BOXES.

HE TRIPLED THEIR REVENUE AND ADDED 300 JOBS FOR THE CITY.

YES, BUT AT WHAT COST?

EMILY, NONE OF US ARE HAPPY ABOUT THIS,

BUT WE HAVE NO CHOICE.

THE MAYOR IS INVOLVED.

I WANT YOU TO WORK WITH THIS GUY.

INTRODUCE HIM TO EVERYONE.

MAKE SURE HE HAS ACCESS TO ALL THE DEPARTMENT HEADS.

MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION.

THE PARADE AND OUR JOBS MAY DEPEND ON IT.

CAN YOU PRETEND TO BE CHARMING?

I'M TOTALLY CHARMING!

HI.

SORRY, I'M LATE.

NO WAY!

NO WAY WE GOT SO LUCKY TO GET THIS GUY!

HENRY, THIS IS EMILY JONES,

OUR OPERATIONS MANAGER

AND UNOFFICIAL HISTORICAL ARCHIVIST.

THERE'S NOTHING ABOUT OUR PARADE

SHE DOESN'T KNOW.

SHE'LL INTRODUCE YOU TO EVERYONE,

AND GET YOU

WHATEVER INFORMATION YOU NEED.

GREAT.

WELL..

I'M A BIG FAN OF THE PARADE.

I GREW UP WATCHING IT.

[♪♪]

OH!

NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

YOU TOO.

SO, THAT IS TRACEY.

SHE IS OUR P.R. DIRECTOR.

RIGHT BEHIND HER IS LINDA,

SHE'S OUR DIRECTOR OF MARKETING.

SHE WORKS WITH OUR SPONSORS

AND RETAILERS, AND...

THIS IS NOT GOING TO WORK.

I BEG YOUR PARDON?

YOU BEING HERE.

YOU COULD CONCEIVABLY

DESTROY THE PARADE.

YOU NEED TO COME UP WITH AN EXIT PLAN.

YOU CAN SAY YOU NEED TO LEAVE FOR PERSONAL REASONS,

PERHAPS SOME SORT OF REHAB.

LOOK, I APPRECIATE YOUR LOYALTY

AND DEDICATION TO THE PARADE,

BUT I'M NOT HERE TO DESTROY ANYTHING.

I'M JUST HERE TO EVALUATE.

YOU SAY YOU GREW UP HERE?

I DID GROW UP HERE.

WENT TO SCHOOL HERE?

YES.

WHO IS O'HARE AIRPORT NAMED AFTER?

LIEUTENANT COMMANDER EDWARD H. O'HARE,

WHO EARNED A CONGRESSIONAL MEDAL OF HONOR

IN 1942

FOR SHOOTING DOWN FIVE JAPANESE PLANES.

EVERYONE KNOWS THAT.

WHAT YEAR WAS THE WILLIS TOWER BUILT?

1971, AND IT WAS 110 STORIES.

IT'S A TRICK QUESTION,

BECAUSE IT WAS ORIGINALLY CALLED THE SEARS TOWER.

[SNAPS FINGERS]

SATISFIED?

WHERE DID YOU WATCH THE PARADE?

THE PENTHOUSE OF THE BERESFORD TOWER

ON STATE AND MADISON.

OF COURSE!

WHAT, THAT'S BAD?

THAT'S WHY YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND

WHAT THE PARADE MEANS.

YOU WATCHED IT FROM UP ABOVE.

YOU WERE WARM AND COZY WITH YOUR RICH FAMILY,

SIPPING HOT TODDIES.

I WAS ON STATE STREET WITH THE REAL PEOPLE OF CHICAGO.

I WAS FREEZING MY BUTT OFF

UP ON MY DAD'S SHOULDERS.

I WAS HOLDING MY BREATH,

WAITING FOR THE MOMENT

SANTA CLAUS WOULD APPEAR AND WAVE.

I THOUGHT HE WAVED ONLY TO ME.

LOOK, WE DON'T HAVE TO LIKE EACH OTHER,

BUT OVER THE NEXT FEW WEEKS,

WE DO HAVE TO WORK TOGETHER.

SO...

WHY DON'T WE START AGAIN TOMORROW

AND YOU CAN INTRODUCE ME TO EVERYONE

AND SHOW ME AROUND, OKAY?

[BEEPING ON CELL PHONE]

MY PLEASURE.

[SIGHS IN EXASPERATION]

OH! [GUSHING EXCITEDLY]

TELL ME HE'S NOT MARRIED.

HE'S NOT MARRIED.

ARE YOU SURE?

MEN LIKE HIM NEVER GET MARRIED.

THEY JUST DATE SUPERMODELS,

AND THEN THEY DRIVE AROUND ITALY

ON THEIR FANCY VESPA'S.

OH, HE'S GEORGE CLOONEY.

EXACTLY.

[♪♪]

[SIGHS HEAVILY]

♪ I'VE TRIED MY WHOLE LIFE

♪ TO PLEASE SOMEONE ELSE

♪ BEEN TAKEN FOR GRANTED

♪ IGNORING MYSELF

♪ I HAD BAD ADVICE MORE THAN TWICE ♪

♪ SOMEHOW YOU HELP ME

♪ CURE MY BLUES

♪ I COULDN'T SEE CLEAR

♪ THE PEOPLE IN MY FACE

♪ CLOUD MY THINKING

♪ INTRUDE IN MY SPACE

♪ I HAD TROUBLE

♪ SEEIN' DOUBLE

♪ SOMEHOW YOU HELP ME CURE MY BLUES... ♪

[OVER VIDEO CHAT]: TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG.

PAUL HIRED THIS OBNOXIOUS JERK TO COME IN

AND COMPLETELY RUIN THE PARADE.

I SEE.

HE'S SUPPOSED TO EVALUATE EVERYTHING WE'RE DOING WRONG,

AND TELL US HOW TO MAKE MORE MONEY FOR THE CITY,

AND BASICALLY DESTROY

EVERYTHING THAT'S SPECIAL ABOUT THE PARADE.

OPERATIONS MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT?

I READ ABOUT THESE GUYS IN NEWSWEEK.

YEAH, WELL, THIS GUY'S A JERK.

USE YOUR CHARM.

YOU GET MORE WITH HONEY THAN WITH LEMON.

I MEAN, SHOW HIM WHAT THE PARADE MEANS TO YOU.

TEACH HIM ABOUT THE HISTORY.

YOU KNOW, DON'T THREATEN HIM, INSPIRE HIM.

YOU ARE SO WISE.

[♪♪]

[HORSE NICKERS]

NICE RIDE!

HOW MANY MILES TO THE CARROT DO YOU GET?

YOU WANTED ME TO SHOW YOU EVERYTHING ABOUT THE PARADE.

I THOUGHT I WOULD START BY SHOWING YOU THE ROUTE.

OKAY, EDNA.

[PARADE MUSIC PLAYS]

[CARRIAGE BELLS JINGLING]

OKAY, THIS IS WHERE IT ALL BEGINS.

THE FLOATS ARE LINED UP RIGHT BEHIND US.

THE MARCHING BANDS ARE TUNED UP, SET TO PLAY.

ENTERTAINERS AND EQUESTRIAN GROUPS ARE READY.

ALL OF THE PERFORMERS HAVE BEEN THROUGH PARADE CAMP,

AND ARE HOLDING ON TIGHT

TO THE GIANT HELIUM BALLOONS--

WAIT, PARADE CAMP?

YES.

ALL OF THE PERFORMERS GO THROUGH A WEEK OF PARADE CAMP

TO LEARN HOW TO MANAGE THE HELIUM BALLOONS.

WHO PAYS FOR THIS PARADE CAMP?

IT'S A VOLUNTEER PROGRAM.

EVERYONE DONATES THEIR TIME.

[CLEARING THROAT]

THE GRAND MARSHAL IS IN PLACE.

PEOPLE, SIPPING HOT CHOCOLATE,

ARE LINED UP

ON BOTH SIDES OF STATE STREET.

YOU CAN FEEL THE EXCITEMENT IN THE AIR

AS GIANT HELIUM BALLOONS HAVE BEGUN TO APPEAR IN THE SKY.

[GASPING IN DELIGHT]

LOOK!

THERE'S ELMO!

[GIGGLES]

ARE YOU ON ANY MEDICATION?

[CHUCKLES]

ENTERTAINERS FROM ALL ACROSS THE COUNTRY

SEEM TO APPEAR OUT OF NOWHERE.

CLOWNS AND ACROBATS--

HANG ON A SECOND,

WHO CARRIES THE INSURANCE FOR THE PARADE?

IS THE CITY LIABLE FOR ANY--

MAY I FINISH?

OF COURSE. SORRY.

THANK YOU.

[RESTARTS MUSIC]

THEN IT HAPPENS...

SANTA CLAUS COMES FLOATING DOWN THE STREET,

TO THE DELIGHT OF CHILDREN YOUNG AND OLD.

WHAT ABOUT WHEN ALL THE SPECTATORS ARE GONE,

AND THEY'VE DROPPED THEIR STYROFOAM CUPS,

LOST ONE GLOVE,

AND LEFT A HUGE MESS BEHIND?

WHO'S RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CLEAN UP?

HOW DOES THE CITY RECOUP THE LOSES IN REVENUE

WHEN STATE STREET IS CLOSED DOWN FOR 48 HOURS.

[SIGHS]

IF YOU CHARGED EVERYONE THAT CAME TO THE PARADE...

YOU COULD EFFECTIVELY PAY FOR THE ENTIRE CLEAN UP.

YOU WANT TO CHARGE PEOPLE TO COME TO THE PARADE?

IS THAT YOUR RECOMMENDATION?

THEY WOULDN'T HAVE TO COME.

IT'S LIKE SPORTS.

THEY COULD SIT AT HOME AND WATCH IT THERE, ON TV.

YOU REALIZE THAT DEFEATS THE ENTIRE PURPOSE

OF A COMMUNITY PARADE.

IT IS ABOUT SPENDING TIME WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY

IN THE HEART OF THE CITY YOU LOVE.

YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND

BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE A FAMILY.

YOU KNOW WHAT, CAN YOU STOP?

STOP, PLEASE!

THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

I WILL WALK BACK.

FINE.

HEY, WAIT,

HOW DO YOU KNOW I DON'T HAVE ANY FAMILY?

BECAUSE MEN LIKE YOU DO NOT GET MARRIED.

YOU FLY FROM WOMAN TO WOMAN

LIKE A BEE COLLECTING POLLEN.

EXCEPT YOU'RE NEVER SATISFIED

WITH THE POLLEN THEY GIVE YOU.

NO, YOU WANT MORE AND MORE POLLEN

FROM NEWER AND YOUNGER FLOWERS.

SO HANG ON, I'M THE BEE IN YOUR SCENARIO?

I DON'T SEE A RING ON YOUR FINGER.

I AM ABOUT TO BECOME ENGAGED

TO THE MOST WONDERFUL MAN IN THE WORLD.

A MARINE BIOLOGIST,

WHO, INCIDENTALLY, WROTE A BOOK ABOUT WHALES

THAT HE SELF-PUBLISHED.

IT CAN'T BE DOWNLOADED.

OH.

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DATING?

FIVE YEARS.

[CHUCKLES] WELL, GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.

WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

WELL, IF HE HASN'T MARRIED YOU IN FIVE YEARS,

HE'S NOT GOING TO.

YOU ARE SO WRONG.

THAT SHOULDN'T BE A SHOCK,

SINCE YOU SEEM TO BE WRONG ABOUT A LOT OF THINGS.

I WILL BET YOU $5.00

THAT I WILL BE ENGAGED BY THANKSGIVING.

FINE. YOU'RE ON.

HELLO.

OH, YOU'RE STILL HERE.

HAVEN'T YOU FINISHED YOUR EVALUATION YET?

HABLAS ESPANOL?

I'M STUDYING IT.

MY ALMOST-FIANCÉ SENT ME BOOKS AND TAPES

SO I CAN LEARN.

WE INTEND TO TRAVEL A LOT,

AND HE WANTS ME TO LEARN VARIOUS LANGUAGES.

SPANISH IS THE FIRST LANGUAGE I'M LEARNING.

I SEE.

YOU SEE WHAT?

[SIGHS]

FIVE YEARS, AND HE'S STILL TRYING TO IMPROVE YOU.

DON'T YOU THINK IT'S TIME

YOU JUST CUT YOUR LOSSES AND MOVE ON?

CYNICAL AND SAD,

AND EXACTLY WHAT I WOULD EXPECT

FROM YOU.

MY FIANCÉ-TO-BE WILL ARRIVE IN TWO WEEKS.

I WILL BE PLANNING MY WEDDING IN TWO WEEKS AND ONE DAY.

YOU KNOW THIS FOR SURE?

YO QUIERO.

THAT MEANS "I DO" IN SPANISH.

"YO QUIERO" MEANS "I WANT" IN SPANISH.

THAT'S BECAUSE THERE IS NO EXACT TRANSLATION OF "I DO".

YOU KNOW WHAT?

I HOPE YOU'RE RIGHT,

AND YOU DON'T END UP LIKE MY FRIEND'S AUNT HELEN.

WHO WALKS AROUND ALL DAY IN A ROBE

CALLING IT HER "HOUSE COAT",

FEEDING A BUNCH OF CATS THAT SHE CALLS HER "CHILDREN."

WELL, THAT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN

BECAUSE I DON'T OWN A ROBE,

OR HAVE CATS...

[QUIETLY]...OF MY OWN.

ASK HIM THIS.

ASK HIM IF HE THINKS YOU'RE PERFECT

JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.

ASK HIM IF HE WOULD CHANGE ANYTHING ABOUT YOU IF HE COULD.

I'M NOT GOING TO ASK HIM THAT,

BECAUSE NO ONE IS PERFECT,

AND THERE'S ALWAYS SOMETHING YOU WOULD CHANGE

ABOUT THE OTHER PERSON IF YOU COULD.

YOU DON'T WANT TO ASK HIM

BECAUSE YOU'RE AFRAID OF THE ANSWER.

YOU ARE SO WRONG.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW A FEW THINGS

I WOULD CHANGE ABOUT YOU IF I COULD?

MAYBE LATER.

YOU SURE?

I HAVE A LONG LIST!

[SIGHING]

EW.

[PUSHING CALL BUTTON]

HE'S A POMPOUS JERK.

I TRIED TO INSPIRE HIM ABOUT THE PARADE,

BUT HE'S YOUR TYPICAL TRUST FUND,

ENTITLED PLAYBOY.

AND HE WILL BE 75 YEARS OLD

WITH A 24-YEAR-OLD GIRLFRIEND

LIVING OUT HIS DAYS

LOUNGING AROUND HIS MANSION IN HIS PAJAMAS.

THAT'S HUGH HEFNER.

EXACTLY.

[APPLAUDING, MARCHING BAND PLAYS]

THAT WAS WONDERFUL!

GOOD PRACTICE!

[♪♪]

[GROANS IN DOUBT]

[GROANS IN DISAPPOINTMENT]

[SIGHS]

[CHUCKLES]

[SIGHS]

OH, HELLO.

HELLO.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

JUST A LITTLE SHOPPING.

SHOPPING...

NO ICE CREAM?

WHY WOULD YOU ASK ME ABOUT ICE CREAM?

NO REASON.

IT'S JUST WHAT I CAME IN FOR.

WELL...

HAVE A NICE EVENING.

YOU TOO.

JUST ONE MINUTE.

OKAY.

SORRY.

I'M SORRY, JUST ONE MINUTE.

WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE?

IT'S LATE.

I WANTED TO MAKE SURE YOU GOT HOME SAFELY.

THAT'S NOT NECESSARY.

I KNOW.

I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP.

AGREED.

I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.

ABSOLUTELY.

TAXI!

[CHUCKLES]

CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION?

SHOOT.

IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WOULD CHANGE ABOUT ME

IF YOU COULD?

NOTHING. YOU'RE PERFECT.

SEE, THAT'S WHY I LOVE YOU.

YOU ARE THE MOST WONDERFUL MAN IN THE WHOLE WORLD.

[BLOWING KISSES]

[CHUCKLES]

YOU AGAIN.

[SIGHS NERVOUSLY]

ARE YOU GOING TO GET ON BOARD TODAY?

I HAVEN'T DECIDED YET.

I'M ON A SCHEDULE.

FINE.

THAT WAS PRETTY GOOD, RIGHT?

PLEASE DON'T COME BACK HERE.

[♪♪]

GOOD MORNING, EVERYBODY.

I BROUGHT YOU ALL A LITTLE TREAT

TO HELP KICK OFF THE THANKSGIVING SEASON.

HOLIDAY CHEESECAKE...

MEETING'S OVER.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING AND BEING ON TIME.

WE WILL PICK UP HERE NEXT WEEK.

GREAT WORK.

OKAY, WHERE WERE WE?

CHEESECAKE!

ARE YOU STILL TRYING TO DECIDE

HOW TO ROB THIS GREAT CITY

OF ITS MOST VALUABLE EVENT?

I'M JUST GOING TO LUNCH.

WHERE?

OZZO, IT'S THE BEST RESTAURANT IN CHICAGO.

[LAUGHS] IF YOU'RE A TOURIST, MAYBE.

IT'S THE ONLY FOUR-STAR MICHELIN RATED RESTAURANT

IN THE CITY.

THERE IS ONE FIVE-STAR,

BUT IT'S NOT OPEN FOR LUNCH.

UGH, DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO HAVE

THE BEST OF EVERYTHING?

ENJOY YOUR OVERPRICED LUNCH.

TAXI!

YOU KNOW, I HAPPEN TO KNOW THE OWNER

OF THE ACTUAL BEST RESTAURANT IN CHICAGO.

IT HAS SIX STARS

AND CONSISTENTLY GETS

THE BEST RESTAURANT REVIEWS IN THE CITY.

OF COURSE, YOU CAN'T GET IN WITHOUT A RESERVATION,

BUT I WOULD BE HAPPY TO TAKE YOU THERE AS MY GUEST.

WELL, I'D BE HONORED.

GOOD. LET'S WALK, IT'S NOT FAR.

BY THE WAY,

I ASKED BRIAN IF THERE WAS ANYTHING

HE WOULD CHANGE ABOUT ME IF HE COULD, AND HE SAID NO.

DO YOU THINK HE'S LYING?

NOT AT ALL. I'M SURE YOU'RE PERFECT.

NO ONE'S PERFECT.

IT'S ABOUT FINDING THE PERSON WHO REALLY KNOWS YOU

AND ACCEPTS YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE.

AND THAT'S BRIAN?

HE REALLY KNOWS YOU?

KNOWS WHAT MATTERS MOST TO YOU?

YES.

WELL, THEN YOU'RE A LUCKY WOMAN.

I AM.

SO YOU GREW UP HERE.

WHY DID YOU MOVE AWAY?

COLLEGE.

YOU COULDN'T GET INTO NORTH WESTERN?

DIDN'T YOUR RICH FAMILY OWN SOMETHING?

THE DORMS, OR THE LIBRARY OR SOMETHING?

I WAS ACCEPTED.

I CHOSE TO GO TO STANFORD,

TO GET OUT OF THE COLD AND TO START A NEW LIFE.

WHERE DO YOU LIVE NOW?

I TRAVEL FROM CITY TO CITY FOR WORK,

SO I BASICALLY LIVE IN HOTELS.

BUT WHERE IS YOUR HOME?

THE PLACE YOU GO TO

WHEN YOU'RE NOT TRAVELING AND WORKING.

WELL, WHEN I'M NOT TRAVELING AND WORKING,

I GO ON VACATION,

AND I LIVE IN ANOTHER HOTEL.

HOME IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PLACE IN THE WORLD.

IT'S WHERE YOU COME FROM.

IT'S THE PLACE YOU GO TO FEEL SAFE AND LOVED.

IT'S THE PLACE YOU GO TO REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE.

HOME IS THE ONLY PLACE

YOU CAN HAVE NUTTY MOVIE NIGHT.

I'M AFRAID TO ASK.

NUTTY MOVIE NIGHT

IS WHERE YOU SIT IN YOUR UNDERWEAR,

AND YOU EAT PEANUT BUTTER OUT OF A JAR,

AND YOU WATCH OLD MOVIES.

I MEAN, I DO THAT

ON THE RARE NIGHT THAT I AM HOME ALONE.

HERE WE ARE.

BEST RESTAURANT IN CHICAGO.

IT'S A PIZZA PLACE.

HI, GIANO.

EMILY!

HAVE YOU GOT ROOM FOR TWO?

FOR YOU? ANYTIME.

GET UP, WE HAVE A VIP WHO NEEDS THE TABLE.

[CHUCKLING]

I'VE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO MEETING

THE MARINE BIOLOGIST WHO STOLE OUR EMILY'S HEART.

NO, NO, NO, NO!

NO, UH, THIS IS A CO-WORKER.

NO, BRIAN'S NOT GOING TO BE HERE FOR A WEEK.

I'M SORRY.

NO PROBLEM.

I'LL BRING YOU SOMETHING WONDERFUL!

SORRY.

OH. THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

I'VE BEEN COMING HERE SINCE I WAS A LITTLE GIRL.

I WORKED HERE IN HIGH SCHOOL,

AND THIS IS WHERE I HAVE THANKSGIVING DINNER

EVERY YEAR.

GIANO COOKS FOR ANYONE WHO SHOWS UP.

NO TIME FOR FAMILY AND FRIENDS?

GIANO IS FAMILY AND FRIENDS.

MY MOM DIED WHEN I WAS A BABY.

AND MY DAD RAISED ME.

HE WAS A COP.

BEST GUY IN THE WORLD.

HE DIED WHEN I WAS 17.

I'M SORRY.

THAT'S HIM.

HE SAVED THIS PLACE FROM BEING ROBBED

WHEN I WAS, LIKE, NINE.

THE ROBBER HAD A GUN,

BUT MY DAD TOOK HIM DOWN PEACEFULLY,

AND NO ONE GOT HURT.

GIANO PUT HIS PICTURE UP AS A THANK YOU.

AND AS A WARNING TO OTHER ROBBERS.

YOU MUST BE REALLY PROUD OF YOUR DAD.

I AM.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

YOU LOOK REALLY HAPPY IN THAT PICTURE.

SO, WAS THAT YOUR BEST DAY EVER?

IT WAS A GOOD DAY.

I HAVE THIS THEORY

THAT WE ALL HAVE ONE BEST DAY EVER.

WE CAN HAVE A LOT OF DAYS THAT COME CLOSE,

DAYS THAT ARE FUN, OR MEANINGFUL AND INTERESTING,

BUT...

ONLY ONE DAY THAT ALL OTHERS ARE MEASURED BY.

AND YOU'RE NOT TOO YOUNG OR TOO OLD.

YOU'RE NOT WISE ENOUGH TO KNOW YOU CAN FAIL,

OR NOT NAIVE ENOUGH TO THINK THINGS COME EASY.

THEN, YEAH, I WOULD SAY IT WAS MY BEST DAY EVER.

SO FAR.

I THINK MY WEDDING DAY WILL BE MY BEST DAY EVER.

HOW ABOUT YOU, HAVE YOU HAD YOUR BEST DAY EVER?

MAY 2, 1985.

I HIT A HOME RUN WITH TWO ON BASE.

IT WAS A SUNNY DAY,

AND I ATE THREE HOT DOGS.

[CHUCKLES]

AND I WAS ONLY EIGHT, BUT...

I STILL REMEMBER EVERY MINUTE OF IT.

I CAN SMELL THE DIRT ON THE FIELD,

I CAN SEE EXACTLY WHERE THE CHALK DUST BLEW UP

WHEN I CROSSED HOME PLATE.

AND YOU DON'T THINK YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE A DAY

THAT WILL KNOCK THAT DAY OUT OF THE PARK?

MAYBE A DAY THAT INVOLVES SOMEONE OTHER THAN JUST YOURSELF?

NO.

NO.

GOOD IDEA.

YEAH, KEEP YOUR EXPECTATIONS LOW,

AND THEN YOU'LL NEVER BE DISAPPOINTED.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

[SIGHING]

- BUON APPETITO. - GRAZIE.

MY FAVORITE.

THIS IS CALLED "BUDDHA."

IT'S ONE WITH EVERYTHING.

[LAUGHING]

THERE YOU GO.

NO, NO, THIS ONE, THIS ONE.

RR...!

OH, MY GOD...

MM.

MM!

THAT'S THE BEST PIZZA I'VE EVER HAD.

IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WOULD CHANGE ABOUT IT IF YOU COULD?

NO.

IT'S PERFECT.

[CHUCKLING]

WELL, I BELIEVE IN TRUE LOVE.

I THINK IT'S A LEAP.

EXACTLY!

IT IS A LEAP.

THAT'S THE POINT!

LOVE IS A LEAP YOU TAKE WITH EACH OTHER.

YOU COMMIT TO HOLDING TIGHT,

JUMPING OFF,

AND FACING THE WORLD TOGETHER.

YOU MAKE LOVE SOUND LIKE A SUICIDE PACT.

[MARCHING BAND PLAYING]

I JUST DON'T BELIEVE IN LOVE THAT LASTS FOREVER.

I'VE NEVER SEEN IT WORK.

WELL, I'VE NEVER SEEN IT WORK EITHER,

BUT I STILL BELIEVE IT'S POSSIBLE.

I STILL HAVE FAITH THAT IT EXISTS.

I HAVE A FIVE-DATE RULE.

I GO ON FIVE DATES WITH A WOMAN.

IF I'M FEELING LIKE IT'S NOT GOING ANYWHERE,

I END IT.

THAT'S INSANE.

YOU CAN'T KNOW

EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT A PERSON

IN FIVE DATES.

I KNOW ENOUGH.

AFTER FIVE DATES,

A WOMAN STARTS THINKING ABOUT MARRIAGE,

SO I END IT BEFORE SHE GETS CONFUSED.

YOU INVENTED THE FIVE-DATE RULE,

AND SHE'S THE ONE WHO'S CONFUSED?

DO YOU PREVIEW EVERY ACT FROM THE PARADE?

YES! I HAVE TO MAKE SURE THEY'RE READY!

[BAND STOPS PLAYING]

GREAT JOB, GUYS! YOU'RE READY!

[APPLAUDING]

WHOO!

[♪♪]

WHAT IS SHE DOING?

UM, INTERVIEWING SANTAS FOR THE PARADE.

IT'S JUST A STUPID SANTA.

YEAH, SHE'S LOOKING FOR ONE WITH A JOLLY SMILE

AND A TWINKLE IN HIS EYE.

SEE THE PICTURE ON THE WALL?

HE'S THE ONE

FROM HER CHILDHOOD.

THE ONE THEY ALL HAVE TO MEASURE UP TO.

AH.

I SEE.

YOU KNOW, UM, [CLEARS THROAT]

IF YOU NEED SOMEONE TO SHOW YOU AROUND TOWN,

I'D BE HAPPY TO HELP.

I KNOW ALL THE BARS.

I MEAN, I KNOW WHERE THEY ARE.

[GIGGLES]

IT'S NOT LIKE I LIVE IN THEM, OR DRINK EVERY NIGHT.

[GIGGLES]

I LOVE TO PARTY.

I'M NOT A PARTY GIRL...

I SHOULD WALK AWAY NOW.

CALL ME.

ANYWAY...

WE'RE DOWN A CLOWN.

HE GOT ONE OF HIS BIG SHOES STUCK IN AN ESCALATOR.

THEY SAY HE'LL BE ABLE TO WALK AGAIN BY CHRISTMAS, BUT--

THANKS, DONNA.

UM, CAN I GIVE YOU A SMALL BIT OF ADVICE?

[SIGHS] SURE.

YOU DON'T WANT TO GO OUT WITH HENRY.

ARE YOU READING MY MIND?

HE'S JUST ONE OF THOSE GUYS

WHO BREEZES INTO TOWN ALL CUTE AND NICE.

THEN HE SUCKS YOU IN WITH HIS CHARM

AND HIS COOL HAIR,

AND HIS GREEN EYES,

AND THEN HE BREAKS YOUR HEART.

HOW DID YOU KNOW HE HAD GREEN EYES?

I SAW THEM.

I GLANCED AT THEM.

THEY'RE DREAMY.

LOOK, HE HAS A FIVE DATE RULE.

HE GOES ON FIVE DATES,

AND THEN WHEN HE REALIZES YOU'RE NOT PERFECT,

HE DUMPS YOU.

SHOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM, THEN, I'M PRETTY PERFECT.

TRUE.

WELL, GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.

THANK YOU.

ARE YOU SURE YOU HAVE THE RIGHT NIGHT?

THIS IS THE SECOND MONDAY OF THE MONTH, RIGHT?

YES, BUT--

JUST WAIT.

THIS IS WHEN THEY PRACTICE FOR THE PARADE.

THESE PEOPLE MOVE PRETTY SLOWLY.

SO, DO YOU OWN ANY CLOTHING FROM THIS DECADE?

I LIKE OLD CLOTHES.

I GUESS THEY'RE ALREADY WORN IN FOR YOU.

WHEN MY MOM DIED,

MY DAD WAS SO SAD,

HE GAVE ALL OF HER CLOTHES AND SHOES TO GOODWILL.

OH, SO YOU FIGURE IF YOU BUY ENOUGH OF THEM,

YOU MIGHT ONE DAY BE WEARING HER CLOTHES.

STUPID, RIGHT?

NOT AT ALL.

[TURNS ON DANCE MUSIC]

[CHUCKLES]

[♪♪]

THEY'RE CALLED "THE STARLIGHTS."

THEY'VE BEEN DANCING IN THE PARADE

AS LONG AS I CAN REMEMBER.

MOST OF THEM HAVE BEEN MARRIED

FOR 30 YEARS OR MORE.

THEY PRACTICE EVERY SECOND MONDAY OF THE MONTH,

RAIN OR SHINE.

REALLY?

[♪♪]

WHOO!

[LAUGHING]

WHOA.

HOW DO THEY DO THAT?

DO WHAT?

STAY IN A RELATIONSHIP FOR THAT MANY YEARS?

YOU KNOW, I ASKED THEM THAT ONCE.

AND WHAT WAS THEIR ANSWER?

PEAKS AND VALLEYS.

THAT'S THE KEY, APPARENTLY.

YOU HAVE TO REALIZE

THAT ALL DAYS ARE NOT GOING TO BE PEAKS,

BUT YOU HOLD ONTO THEM

TO GET YOU THROUGH THE VALLEYS.

THAT'S IT, JUST PEAKS AND VALLEYS?

MM-HMM, APPARENTLY THAT'S IT.

AFFECTION, COMPROMISE, PEAKS AND VALLEYS,

AND A GOOD PAIR OF DANCE SHOES.

[LAUGHING]

WHOA!

OH!

[LAUGHING]

[APPLAUSE]

THANK YOU.

[GIGGLES]

I SHOULD BE GETTING HOME.

I'LL DRIVE YOU.

NO, NO, UH, I CAN WALK.

NO, IT'S--

UH, I DON'T MIND DRIVING YOU.

IT'S OKAY, I CAN WALK.

[CHUCKLES]

YO QUIERO.

I DO.

[SQUEALS IN JOY]

[AIRPLANES LANDING]

[SQUEALING IN EXCITEMENT]

YOU'RE FINALLY HERE!

AW...

OH, IT'S BEEN SO LONG.

I HAVE MISSED YOU...

SO MUCH.

AW...

YOU LOOK

WONDERFUL.

OH, THANK YOU.

SO DO YOU.

YOU CUT YOUR HAIR.

JUST A LITTLE.

WELL, DON'T WORRY, IT'LL GROW BACK.

GUESS WHAT?

I GOT A LETTER FROM A PUBLISHER

WHO MAY BE INTERESTED IN PUBLISHING MY BOOK.

REALLY? THAT'S AMAZING!

YOU SOUND SURPRISED.

NOT AT ALL.

THEY'RE LUCKY TO HAVE IT.

WELL, I'M THINKING OF CHANGING THE TITLE TO--

[STAMMERING]

OKAY.

I'M THINKING OF CHANGING THE TITLE

TO "WHALES: WHAT ARE THEY GOOD FOR?"

WOW.

[LAUGHS]

WELL, IT'S NOVEMBER 14TH.

WHAT'S YOUR QUESTION?

AH, NOT TILL TOMORROW NIGHT.

I WANT EVERYTHING TO BE PERFECT WHEN I ASK YOU.

[GIGGLING IN EXCITEMENT]

RIGHT NOW

I JUST WANT TO GET HOME,

AND HAVE DINNER AND GO TO BED.

WELL, I THOUGHT WE COULD GO TO JIM'S FOR DINNER.

GIANO IS MAKING LASAGNA--

MOTHER IS EXPECTING US FOR DINNER.

OH.

WELL, YOU KNOW HOW SHE GETS

WHEN I'VE BEEN AWAY FOR A LONG TIME.

YEAH, I JUST THOUGHT--

TONIGHT, WE'LL HAVE DINNER WITH MY FAMILY,

AND THEN TOMORROW NIGHT, WE'LL GO TO JIM'S,

AND YOU'LL HAVE ME ALL TO YOURSELF.

WE'LL STOP BY YOUR PLACE SO YOU CAN GET CHANGED.

THIS IS ONE I DON'T MIND LOSING.

NO RING YET?

HE WANTS EVERYTHING TO BE PERFECT.

TONIGHT, AT 8:00.

WELL, I'M ROOTING FOR YOU.

YOU STILL DON'T THINK IT'S GOING TO HAPPEN, DO YOU?

HE GOT HOME YESTERDAY AFTER A LONG TRIP.

I THINK LAST NIGHT

WOULD HAVE BEEN A GREAT TIME TO ASK YOU.

I WILL TAKE YOUR $5.00.

THAT'S HOW CONFIDENT I AM.

WELL, I HOPE YOU'RE RIGHT.

OH, I'M RIGHT.

I HOPE SO.

GO AWAY.

I CAN'T.

WHY NOT?

I HAVE A MEETING WITH YOU AND YOUR CFO

TO GO OVER THE BOOKS IN FIVE MINUTES.

FINE, GO AWAY FOR FIVE MINUTES.

[CROWD CHEERING]

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL RING.

I NEVER EXPECTED THIS NIGHT TO BE SO MAGICAL.

I WILL REMEMBER THIS MOMENT FOREVER.

[TAXI DISPATCH RADIO CRACKLES]

OH.

["LA DONNA E MOBILE" FROM "RIGOLETTO" PLAYS]

[♪♪]

EMILY...

YOU LOOK SO PRETTY.

THANK YOU.

YOUR FATHER WOULD BE SO PROUD OF YOU.

SPECIAL NIGHT?

I THINK SO.

I'LL MAKE YOU SOMETHING SPECIAL.

YOU ARE

SO BEAUTIFUL.

THANK YOU.

AW...

HOW WEIRD IS THIS?

YOU AND ME, TOGETHER AT LAST.

I KNOW.

FINALLY.

IT'S BEEN SO LONG.

HOW IS IT WORKING OUT

WITH THAT GUY THEY SENT TO DESTROY THE PARADE?

HE DID NOT TURN OUT TO BE SO BAD.

WELL, LOOK AT YOU, GETTING ALONG WITH THE ENEMY.

I HOPE YOU'RE GOING TO COME THIS YEAR.

UH... YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT CROWDS.

OH, YEAH, YEAH.

RIGHT, RIGHT.

YOU KNOW, BEFORE WE ORDER DINNER...

I HAVE A LITTLE SURPRISE FOR YOU.

YOU DO?

YES.

I NEVER IMAGINED THIS NIGHT WOULD BE SO MAGICAL.

I WILL REMEMBER THIS MOMENT FOREVER.

EMILY JONES...

I HAVE KNOWN YOU FOR FIVE YEARS...

AND I HAVE LOVED YOU FOR...

A LOT OF THAT TIME.

[GIGGLES]

I WAS AWAY AT SEA FOR MANY MONTHS,

AND MY TIME AWAY

HAS TAUGHT ME ONE THING,

AND THAT IS

THAT I DON'T WANT TO BE WITHOUT YOU.

I'LL HAVE MY OWN BOAT,

AND MY OWN RESEARCH TEAM,

AND WE WILL BE AWAY AT SEA FOR TWO YEARS,

AND WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS,

WILL YOU DO ME THE HONOR

OF JOINING ME ON THE SHIP OF MY LIFE?

YO QUIERO. I DO!

WHAT?

[LAUGHING IN DELIGHT]

GREAT!

OH, WOW.

OH...

WAIT, WAIT. WHAT?

I KNOW.

IT IS A BIG STEP,

AND WE WILL BE IN EACH OTHER'S FACES,

CLOSE-CLOSE QUARTERS--

NO, NO, NO.

WHAT?

I THINK WE'RE READY

FOR THE NEXT STEP IN OUR RELATIONSHIP.

DID YOU...

DID YOU JUST ASK ME TO MARRY YOU?

M-MARRY ME?

[QUIETLY] YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT MARRIAGE.

AFTER WHAT I WENT THROUGH WITH MY PARENTS.

YOUR PARENTS?

YOUR PARENTS HAVE BEEN HAPPILY MARRIED FOR 30 YEARS.

EXACTLY.

THAT IS A LOT TO LIVE UP TO.

WAIT, IT'S BEEN FIVE YEARS, AND I--

DON'T BE EMBARRASSED.

EMBARRASSED?

A LOT OF WOMEN MIGHT HAVE MADE THE SAME MISTAKE.

MISTAKE?

WELL, THINKING THAT I WAS GOING TO PROPOSE.

BRIAN, I'M SORRY, IT'S OVER.

WHAT?

WHY?

I WANT TO GET MARRIED

I WANT TO HAVE A FAMILY.

I THOUGHT YOU DID, TOO.

WELL, I-I DO.

SOMEDAY.

[CRYING]

I DON'T WANT TO WAIT ANY LONGER.

YOU'RE BEING UNREASONABLE.

NO, I'M BEING HONEST!

I WILL BE AT THE AIRPORT THANKSGIVING DAY AT 4:00.

I'M FLYING TO ARUBA,

AND THEN I'M GETTING ON THE SHIP!

THERE WILL BE AN EXTRA TICKET FOR YOU AT THE AIRPORT

IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND!

EMILY!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I ORDERED A PIZZA.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I CAME HERE TO GET MARRIED.

[CRYING]

GET IN.

NO.

I DON'T HAVE YOUR STUPID $5.00 ON ME.

I'LL WRITE YOU AN "I OWE YOU."

WOULD YOU JUST GET IN THE CAR?

COME ON.

[SNIFFLING AND SOBBING]

[♪♪]

I'M SO STUPID.

HERE, DRINK THIS.

GO AHEAD AND GLOAT.

SAY "I TOLD YOU SO."

YOU WERE RIGHT.

I AM GOING TO DIE ALONE IN MY HOUSE COAT,

SMOTHERED BY CATS.

LOOK, HE'S THE LOSER, OKAY?

HE MADE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF HIS LIFE.

THANK YOU FOR SAYING THAT.

I WILL ACCEPT THAT LIE

BECAUSE IT MIGHT BE THE ONLY THING KEEPING ME

FROM RUNNING INTO TRAFFIC.

THANK YOU FOR THE DRINK.

I DON'T REALLY DRINK,

SO I'M BEGINNING TO FEEL IT.

IT'S GINGER ALE.

OH.

[SOBBING]

THAT WAS AMAZING!

OH, THIS IS SO MUCH FUN.

YOU KNOW, I WAS GOOD.

I WAS REALLY GOOD.

I WAS, LIKE, PROFESSIONAL GOOD.

BUT... I WAS NOT. I WAS ONLY HIGH SCHOOL GOOD.

AND I WAS DEVAS-THATED.

I WAS...

DEVAS....

[TOGETHER]: DEVASTATED...

WHEN I REALIZED

THAT MY DREAM WAS AN ILLUSION.

I'M SURE YOU WERE WONDERFUL.

NO, I WAS NOT.

I MEAN, I'M NOT, YOU KNOW, HORRIBLE,

BUT I'M NOT LADY GAGA.

[CHUCKLES]

["HEART OF GLASS" BY BLONDIE STARTS PLAYING]

I LOVE THIS SONG.

NO, EMILY. NO, NO, NO--

OH, YES.

[FEEDBACK WHINES]

♪ ONCE I HAD A LOVE AND IT WAS A GAS ♪

♪ SOON TURNED OUT HAD A HEART OF GLASS ♪

♪ SEEMED LIKE THE REAL THING ONLY TO FIND ♪

♪ BUNCH OF MISTRUST LOVE'S GONE BEHIND... ♪

IT HAS?

WHERE DID IT GO?

[LAUGHTER]

[LAUGHING]

I'M GONNA LOOK FOR IT!

♪ ONCE I HAD A LOVE AND IT WAS DIVINE ♪

♪ SOON FOUND OUT I WAS LOSIN' MY MIND ♪

♪ THOUGHT IT WAS THE REAL THING I WAS SO BLIND ♪

♪ MUCHO MISTRUST LOVE'S GONE BEHIND ♪

[WARM LAUGHTER]

[♪♪]

♪ IN BETWEEN

♪ WHAT I FIND IS PLEASIN' AND I'M FEELING FINE ♪

[AUDIENCE SHOUTS] SO FINE!

♪ LOVE IS SO CONFUSING THERE'S NO PEACE OF MIND ♪

NO PEACE!

♪ -- FEAR I'M LOSIN' YOU

♪ THERE'S JUST NO GOOD

♪ YOU TEASIN' LIKE YOU DO--

- THIS IS YOUR PART! - I'M NOT A GOOD SINGER--

♪ OOH...

♪ OOH-AAH!

- REALLY GOOD. - THANK YOU.

AGAIN.

♪ [BOTH]: OOH-AAH!

IT'S A DUET NOW.

OKAY, THAT'S IT. NO MORE, PLEASE--

♪ OOH-AAH

♪ OOH-AAH!

THAT'S IT.

BUT THAT WAS GREAT.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

THAT WAS GREAT.

THANK YOU.

[APPLAUSE AND CHEERS]

WE SHOULD GET OUT OF HERE.

IT'S 2:00 A.M.

OKAY.

HOW COULD YOU BE DRUNK?

YOU ONLY HAD ONE GLASS OF CHAMPAGNE?

LOW TOLERANCE.

I NEED TO GET YOU HOME.

RIGHT. HMM...

I KNOW YOU AND YOUR TYPE.

YOU THINK YOU CAN FILL ME WITH CHAMPAGNE

AND SEDUCE ME.

YOU THINK THAT BECAUSE YOU RESCUED ME,

AND YOU'RE SO HANDSOME, AND CUTE, AND HANDSOME,

THAT I WILL JUST FALL INTO YOUR ARMS

AND KISS YOU.

WELL, THINK AGAIN, BUCKO!

EMILY, I JUST...

[VOMITING VIOLENTLY]

FEELING BETTER?

I'M SO EMBARRASSED.

NONSENSE. THESE THINGS HAPPEN.

I'M NOT USED TO DRINKING CHAMPAGNE.

YOU'LL BE FINE.

I KNOW IT DOESN'T FEEL LIKE IT NOW,

BUT TRUST ME, YOU'LL BE FINE.

COME ON, LET ME TAKE YOU HOME.

DON'T BOTHER, I'LL JUST JUMP.

NAH, IT'S TOO MESSY.

HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO WRONG?

I THOUGHT HE LOVED ME.

THIS IS OFFICIALLY THE WORST NIGHT OF MY LIFE.

WELL, I HOPE YOU'RE RIGHT.

CAN ONLY GET BETTER FROM HERE.

[SIGHS]

WHOA.

CAN I TELL YOU A SECRET?

NOW THAT I'VE HUMILIATED MYSELF

BEYOND ALL REASON.

SURE.

I'M AFRAID OF BOATS.

I'VE NEVER EVEN BEEN ON A BOAT,

SO I'M NOT SURE WHY, BUT STILL...

SO DON'T TAKE A CRUISE.

I GO DOWN TO THE TOUR DECK, AND I TRY AND GET ON,

BUT THEN EVERY TIME, SOMETHING STOPS ME.

THE CAPTAIN OF THE SHIP HATES ME.

SO, WHAT WERE YOU GOING TO DO

IF YOU MARRIED HIM?

I DIDN'T REALLY HAVE A PLAN.

HUH.

[RATTLING KNOB]

NO.

OOPS.

WHAT?

UH...

ONCE SECOND, UH...

THEY'LL PROBABLY HEAR US.

[BANGING ON DOOR]

WHY DON'T YOU JUST HAVE A SEAT, OKAY?

I'LL KEEP TRYING.

I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING--

I'M SICK OF TRYING.

AND, I LEFT MY CELL PHONE--

I TRY, AND I TRY AND I TRY--

OPEN THE DOOR!

--BUT LOOK AT ME--

ANYBODY HERE?

I'M STILL ALONE.

[BANGING]

HELLO!

[SIGHS]

MAYBE YOU'RE AFRAID OF BOATS

BECAUSE YOU WERE NEVER SURE

IF BRIAN WAS THE RIGHT GUY FOR YOU.

[POUNDING]

[♪♪]

[SNORING]

GOOD MORNING.

WELL, THANK YOU

FOR TAKING CARE OF ME LAST NIGHT.

I APPRECIATE EVERYTHING YOU PROBABLY DID FOR ME.

MY PLEASURE.

I'M FAIRLY SURE I NEED TO APOLOGIZE FOR MY BEHAVIOR,

AND AS SOON AS I REMEMBER WHAT I DID,

I WILL TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY.

YOU WERE A PERFECT LADY.

[SIGHS]

I GUESS WE HAVE TO DO THE WALK OF SHAME.

IT APPEARS SO.

[GROANS]

HOW AM I GOING TO GO IN AND FACE EVERYONE AT WORK?

YOU DODGED A BULLET.

THEY'LL BE HAPPY FOR YOU.

COME ON, LET ME SHAME-WALK YOU HOME.

ARE YOU SURE

I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING EMBARRASSING LAST NIGHT?

YOU KNOW, THERE WAS THAT ONE THING.

WHAT?

I WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

IT WASN'T ANYTHING BAD ENOUGH TO PUT ON YouTube.

♪ OOH-AAH! OOH-AAH!

[SINGING MOCKINGLY]

[SIGHS HEAVILY]

I NEVER LIKED BRIAN.

REALLY? YOU NEVER SAID ANYTHING.

I SAID LOTS OF THINGS.

YOU JUST NEVER LISTENED, SO I STOPPED.

I FIGURED IF YOU WERE HAPPY, WHO WAS I TO JUDGE?

HMM. WELL, HERE YOU GO.

WHAT? NO, NO, NO, KEEP IT.

YOU WILL WEAR IT ONE DAY, AND YOU WILL BE BEAUTIFUL IN IT.

NOPE.

I'LL NEVER GET MARRIED.

WHAT? HOW DO YOU KNOW?

[LAUGHS]

HENRY WAS REALLY SWEET, THOUGH.

HE RESCUED ME FROM THE WORST NIGHT OF MY LIFE.

WELL, HE'S A NICE GUY.

YEAH.

TOO BAD HE'S A JERK.

WELL, MAYBE HE'S NOT A JERK.

HE'S SO CUTE--

NO, HE IS A JERK.

HE HAS A FIVE-DATE RULE.

HE GOES ON FIVE DATES WITH A WOMAN,

AND THEN IF SHE'S NOT PERFECT,

HE ENDS THE RELATIONSHIP.

THAT'S ACTUALLY VERY SENSIBLE.

YOU KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT A PERSON IN FIVE DATES

TO KNOW WHETHER THE CHEMISTRY'S THERE.

YES, BUT HE GOES IN, BELIEVING IT WON'T WORK.

AGAIN, SENSIBLE.

YOU HOLD THE OTHER PERSON TO A HIGHER STANDARD,

YOU HAVE A BETTER CHANCE OF KNOWING

WHETHER YOU'RE GOING TO END UP WITH THE RIGHT PERSON.

WELL, EITHER WAY,

HE LEAVES IN A WEEK RIGHT AFTER THE PARADE,

SO IT DOESN'T MATTER.

AND HE'S PROBABLY GOING TO RECOMMEND

THAT THE CITY ELIMINATE THE PARADE.

WHAT A JERK.

I TOLD YOU.

MORNING.

THANKS.

OKAY, LISTEN UP, EVERYONE.

I'M FINE.

STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE I'M GOING TO FALL APART.

I AM FINE, REALLY.

NOW, WE ONLY HAVE ONE WEEK UNTIL THE PARADE,

SO EVERYONE REALLY NEEDS TO FOCUS!

I APPRECIATE YOUR CONCERN,

BUT LET'S GET BACK TO WORK,

AND LET'S PUT ON THE BEST PARADE EVER!

[SOBBING]

I CAN'T BELIEVE HE DID THAT TO YOU.

I'M FINE.

I WOULDN'T BE.

YOU ARE REALLY STRONG.

THANK YOU.

I THINK I WOULD PROBABLY KILL MYSELF

IF SOMEONE DID THAT TO ME--

YOU KNOW, WE SHOULD GET BACK TO WORK.

I WOULD FEEL LIKE LIFE WASN'T WORTH LIVING.

I MEAN, THE DISAPPOINTMENT...

[GASPING BETWEEN SOBS] AND THE HUMILIATION

WOULD JUST BE

MORE THAN I COULD TAKE!

I SERIOUSLY WOULD FALL OVER AND DIE!

[SOBBING]

[♪♪]

♪ THE REINDEER FLY

♪ I WAVE GOODBYE

♪ TO SANTA WITH A KISS

♪ YOU BRING ME HOME

♪ STORIES OF ROME PARIS AND MADRID ♪

♪ HOW SOFTLY HE TIPTOES

♪ WHEN HE RETURNS HOME AND WHISPERS, "MRS. CLAUS" ♪

♪ IT'S CHRISTMAS TIME AND SANTA IS MINE, HO HO ♪

[♪♪]

♪ THE ELVES RELAX

♪ WITH GINGERBREAD SNACKS

♪ AND RUDOLPH STARTS TO PRANCE

♪ WE SING AND SWAY TO THE MUSIC WE PLAY ♪

♪ AS SANTA STARTS TO DANCE

♪ HOW SOFTLY HE TIPTOES UNDERNEATH THE MISTLETOE ♪

♪ AND WHISPERS, "MRS. CLAUS"

♪ IT'S CHRISTMAS TIME AND SANTA IS MINE, HO HO ♪

[♪♪]

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

[VOICEMAIL BEEPS]

[BRIAN]: EMILY, PLEASE PICK UP.

EMILY, I KNOW YOU'RE MAD,

BUT I THINK WE SHOULD TALK ABOUT THIS.

[SIGHS SADLY]

YOU'RE THE ONLY FISH IN THE SEA FOR ME.

[CALL DISCONNECTS]

WHAT'S GOING ON?

OH, WE HAVE A SPECIAL EVENT.

OH.

IS THE CIRCUS IN TOWN?

WHY DON'T YOU COME WITH US?

[KIDS GIGGLE AND SHOUT]

PAUL AND I STARTED THIS PROGRAM.

WE DO IT EVERY YEAR.

SOME OF THESE KIDS ARE TOO SICK

TO COME TO THE PARADE,

SO WE BRING THE PARADE TO THEM.

OUR ORGANIZATION DOES EVENTS THROUGHOUT THE YEAR

FOR THE RONALD MCDONALD HOUSE.

THEY GIVE FAMILIES A PLACE TO STAY

WHILE THEIR CHILDREN GO THROUGH TREATMENT.

THAT'S REALLY NICE.

IT'S WHAT YOU DO FOR THE CITY YOU CALL HOME.

AND, NO, IT DOESN'T COST THE CITY ANY MONEY.

[CHUCKLING]

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

HELLO?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

NEW YORK TIMES CROSSWORD PUZZLE IN INK.

OH, IMPRESSIVE.

I KNOW, RIGHT?

ARE THOSE YOUR ONLY PLANS FOR THE EVENING?

IF YOU MUST KNOW,

I AM SITTING ON THE FLOOR,

EATING CHOCOLATE

AND PEANUT BUTTER OUT OF A JAR,

WATCHING "MIRACLE ON 34TH STREET."

NUTTY MOVIE NIGHT.

MM-HMM, DON'T KNOCK IT TILL YOU TRY IT.

[SPORTS PLAYS ON TELEVISION]

[CALL RINGING]

[ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS]

HEY, GRETCHEN.

I THINK I FINALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT.

PEOPLE REALLY DO DESERVE

TO HAVE EVERYTHING THEY WANT IN LIFE.

I'M BEGINNING TO UNDERSTAND

WHAT IT'S LIKE TO SIT AROUND,

AT HOME,

AND EAT PEANUT BUTTER,

AND WATCH MOVIES WITH SOMEONE YOU REALLY CARE ABOUT.

OH.

[CHUCKLES]

I TRIED NUTTY MOVIE NIGHT,

AND I LIKED IT.

[GASPING] I TOLD YOU.

WHAT MOVIE DID YOU WATCH?

BULLS GAME.

NUTTY SPORTS NIGHT.

THAT WORKS, TOO.

I HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE.

COME WITH ME?

OH, I HAVE A MEETING WITH PAUL

TO GO OVER THE FINAL LINE-UP FOR THE PARADE.

YOU WON'T BE LATE. COME ON.

HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME MY MEETING IS?

WILL YOU COME?

[♪♪]

WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE?

FACING OUR FEARS.

WHAT'S THE WORST THAT CAN HAPPEN?

"TITANIC"?

THERE ARE NO ICEBERGS IN THE RIVER.

BUT IT COULD STILL SINK.

DOUBTFUL,

BUT WHAT IF IT DOES?

DO YOU KNOW HOW TO SWIM?

YES.

WELL, THEN YOU'LL SWIM TO SHORE.

BUT WHAT IF...

OH, THIS GUY HATES ME.

WELCOME ABOARD!

CAPTAIN.

[MUTTERING] OH, IT'S GOING TO BE A LONG DAY.

I RENTED THE BOAT FOR THE DAY.

THE WHOLE BOAT?

YUP.

WHY?

WHY NOT?

WHAT IF-- WHAT IF I--

LOOK INTO MY EYES.

YOU COULD SPEND YOUR WHOLE LIFE ASKING "WHAT IF?"

OR YOU CAN JUST LIVE IN THE MOMENT

AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS.

I HAVE TICKETS

TO THE BULLS GAME TONIGHT, IF YOU WANT TO GO.

SURE. YEAH, WHY NOT?

GREAT.

OH. LOOK DOWN.

[CHUCKLES]

CALM. BREATHE.

[EXHALING]

NOT SO BAD.

SEE?

WHAT DID I TELL YOU?

YEAH. OKAY.

OKAY, NOT SO BAD.

IT'S FUN, RIGHT?

I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M DOING THIS.

WHAT HAVE I BEEN SO SCARED OF?

[LAUGHS]

[♪♪]

THERE YOU ARE.

I HAVE THE SIGNED RELEASE FORMS FOR ALL OF THE PERFORMERS--

WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?

IT'S ALMOST MODERN.

OH. I'M GOING TO THE BULLS GAME WITH HENRY.

OH... HA HA.

YOU'RE DATING HIM?

WHAT? NO, NOT AT ALL.

HE ASKED ME, AND I DIDN'T WANT TO BE RUDE.

[LAUGHS]

WHAT HAPPENED TO, "STAY AWAY, HE'S DANGEROUS,

HE'S GOT A FIVE-DATE RULE AND HE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART."

THIS IS NOT A DATE.

THIS IS A BUSINESS,

SLASH FRIEND, SLASH WORK THING

BEFORE HE GOES AWAY,

AND I NEVER EVER SEE HIM AGAIN, EVER.

[SIGHING] EVER...

SOUNDS LIKE A DATE TO ME.

[SCOFFS]

THIS IS SO NOT A DATE.

THIS IS AN EVENING OUT WITH A CO-WORKER.

SO WHY ARE YOU PUTTING ON LIP GLOSS?

IT'S NOT A DATE.

[CROWD CHEERING]

GO, BULLS, GO! GO, BULLS, GO!

[CHEERING]

WHOA-HO! YEAH.

THIS IS THE BULLS GAME?

THIS IS THE BULLS GAME.

THE NORTH HIGH BULLS VERSUS THE SAINTS.

[CHEERING]

WOW! HOW DID YOU GET THESE GREAT SEATS?

[CHEERING]

I KNOW A GUY WHO KNOWS A GUY.

[LAUGHING]

I WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL HERE.

THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I'VE BEEN BACK

SINCE GRADUATION.

YOU WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL HERE?

I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT YOUR PARENTS

WOULD HAVE SENT YOU TO SOME FANCY PRIVATE SCHOOL.

[CROWD JEERING AT REFEREE]

OH!

[CHUCKLING]

YES, YES, YES, YES...

AW...

THAT WAS A FOUL! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

MY GRANDMOTHER COULD HAVE SEEN THAT!

GET SOME GLASSES, REF!

BOO!

[CROWD BOOING]

[BOOING AND LAUGHING]

THAT WAS GREAT.

[♪♪]

[CHEERING]

[APPLAUSE AND CHEERS]

AW...

KISS-CAM, THEY'VE BEEN DOING THIS FOR YEARS.

THAT IS SO CUTE.

[CROWD CHANTING] KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS!

OH...

I GUESS WE GOTTA...

IT'S A KISS-CAM.

IT'S JUST A KISS.

YEAH, OKAY.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

[♪♪]

UH, I THINK WE SHOULD GO.

YEAH. NO, NO.

WE SHOULD GO.

[CROWD CHEERING]

ARE YOU OKAY?

I'M FINE.

I JUST THINK IT'S REALLY GREAT

THAT TWO CO-WORKERS CAN SHARE A FRIENDLY KISS

WITHOUT IT MEANING ANYTHING,

OR WITHOUT IT LEADING TO ANYTHING, AT ALL.

YEAH, I MEAN,

WE DIDN'T HAVE ANY CHOICE IN THE MATTER AT ALL.

AT ALL.

WELL, DUH, IT WAS THE KISS CAM.

WE DID NOT HAVE A CHOICE.

DUH, THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING. THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I SAID.

YEAH, WELL, IT'S WORTH REPEATING.

[CAR STOPS]

GREAT. OKAY, WELL, THANK YOU SO MUCH.

THAT WAS A REALLY GREAT EVENING--

EMILY, I JUST WANT TO--

OW.

[LAUGHS]

YOU ALL RIGHT, SIR?

[CHUCKLES RUEFULLY]

LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN TRUE LOVE?

[CHUCKLES]

I'VE BEEN MARRIED 16 YEARS, SIR.

I DIDN'T STAND A CHANCE.

[LAUGHS]

I FELL IN LOVE WITH MY WIFE THE FIRST MOMENT I SAW HER.

[SIGHS]

HOW DID YOU KNOW IT WAS TRUE LOVE?

I JUST KNEW.

I FOUND MYSELF THINKING ABOUT HER

WHEN I WASN'T WITH HER.

IF SHE WAS THERE, I WAS HAPPY.

I USED TO DRIVE PAST HER HOUSE

LATE AT NIGHT

JUST TO BE CLOSE TO HER WHEN SHE SLEPT.

I ASKED HER TO MARRY ME AFTER OUR THIRD DATE,

BUT SHE DIDN'T SAY YES UNTIL OUR FIFTH.

DRAKE HOTEL, PLEASE.

[♪♪]

[SIGHING]

YOU SHOULD TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL.

NO, IT WAS JUST ONE KISS.

AND HE MADE IT CLEAR

HE'S NOT LOOKING FOR A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP.

AND HE LEAVES IN TWO DAYS.

WELL, NO MAN IS LOOKING FOR A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP

UNTIL THEY FALL IN LOVE.

THE RIGHT WOMAN COMES ALONG AND CHANGES EVERYTHING.

LOOK, YOU OWE IT TO YOURSELF TO TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL.

IF YOU DON'T TAKE A SHOT, THEN YOU'LL NEVER KNOW.

I TOOK A SHOT WITH BRIAN. LOOK WHERE THAT GOT ME.

BRIAN WASN'T THE ONE.

YOUR EYES NEVER LIT UP LIKE THIS WHEN YOU TALKED ABOUT BRIAN.

I THOUGHT I LOVED HIM.

YOU LOVED THE IDEA OF HIM.

I MEAN, YOU HARDLY EVER SAW HIM.

HE WAS GONE MORE THAN HE WAS HOME.

WE SKYPED OUR RELATIONSHIP FOR THE LAST THREE YEARS.

I THINK I LOVED IN FIVE-MINUTE INTERVALS.

EXACTLY.

TELL HENRY HOW YOU FEEL.

TOO RISKY.

I ALREADY HAD MY HEART BROKEN ONCE THIS MONTH.

I'M NOT SURE A HEART CAN BE BROKEN TWICE IN ONE MONTH

WITHOUT BREAKING FOR GOOD.

EVERY RELATIONSHIP NEEDS A HERO.

OKAY, THAT ONE PERSON

WHO STANDS UP AND TAKES A CHANCE AND PUTS EVERYTHING ON THE LINE.

LOOK, I'M NOT JUST GOING TO GO OVER TO HIS HOTEL ROOM

AND KNOCK ON THE DOOR AND SAY, "SURPRISE!

"I THINK YOU'RE AMAZING.

"I THINK YOU SHOULD STICK AROUND,

AND WE SHOULD FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS..."

YOU SHOULD TAKE A CHANCE.

BE HIS SOFT PLACE TO FALL.

WHERE DID YOU HEAR THAT?

DR. PHIL.

[LAUGHING]

I THOUGHT I'D COME BY AND SAY HELLO.

AND I WAS JUST IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD

AND THOUGHT I'D STOP BY, AND, YOU KNOW,

WHAT THE HECK, THROW MYSELF AT YOU.

I KNOW YOU SAID

YOU'RE NOT LOOKING FOR A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP,

BUT STILL I FIGURED I'D GIVE IT A SHOT.

[VOICE OVER INTERCOM]: MA'AM ARE YOU OKAY?

WHO IS THAT?

HOTEL SECURITY.

WE MONITOR THE ELEVATORS.

I'M JUST MAKING SURE YOU'RE OKAY.

I'M FINE, THANKS.

ALL RIGHT.

[MUTTERING] MA'AM?

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

SORRY, I THINK I HAVE THE WRONG ROOM.

I'M LOOKING FOR HENRY WILLIAMS' ROOM.

OH, THIS IS HIS ROOM.

I THINK HE'S IN THE SHOWER.

CAN I HELP YOU?

WHO ARE YOU?

HIS GIRLFRIEND.

MY NAME'S GRETCHEN.

IT'S NOT IMPORTANT.

I WORK WITH HIM.

I JUST CAME BY TO TELL HIM

THAT EVERYTHING IS SET FOR THE MEETING TODAY...

AT THE OFFICE WHERE WE WORK...

TOGETHER AS CO-WORKERS.

OKAY.

SO I WILL TELL HIM THAT AT THE OFFICE.

OKAY.

[KNOCKING]

GRETCHEN?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I GOT YOUR MESSAGE AND I HOPPED ON A PLANE.

I'M HERE TO SHARE YOUR LIFE

AND YOUR NUTTY MOVIES AND YOUR PEANUT BUTTER.

WHAT?

YOU CALLED AND SAID YOU WERE SORRY.

I-I WAS, AND I AM.

I JUST...

DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING HERE.

I'M HERE BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME TO COME.

NOT IN THOSE WORDS,

BUT YOU SAID YOU WERE SORRY,

AND THAT YOU WERE BEGINNING TO UNDERSTAND

WHAT A RELATIONSHIP COULD BE.

GRETCHEN...

THIS IS MY FAULT.

[GASPING]

YOU DIDN'T MEAN ME.

WELL, THIS IS IT, EVERYONE!

TOMORROW IS THE PARADE.

I THINK THIS IS GOING TO BE OUR BEST YEAR EVER!

[CELL PHONE WARBLES]

UM...EXCUSE ME.

[CLEARING THROAT]

ARE YOU OKAY?

FINE.

GOOD.

'CAUSE I GOT SOME BAD NEWS.

APPARENTLY, THE SANTA YOU CHOSE BACKED OUT.

WELL, CHOOSE ONE OF THE OTHERS.

ME?

NO,

I-I CAN'T BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THAT DECISION.

YOU SAID THAT THAT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF THE PARADE.

YOU SAID THAT--

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?

IT'S JUST ANOTHER STUPID SANTA CLAUS.

BRIAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

EMILY, I HAD TO COME.

YOU WOULDN'T ANSWER MY PHONE CALLS.

THAT'S BECAUSE THERE'S NOTHING MORE TO SAY.

EMILY, I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.

I...

AM PRETTY BUSY RIGHT NOW.

EMILY!

WHEN I MET YOU, MY LIFE BEGAN.

THE LAST FIVE YEARS

HAVE BEEN FILLED WITH HAPPINESS AND JOY.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

SOMETHING I SHOULD HAVE DONE A LONG TIME AGO.

YOU'RE AS RARE AS A GRAY PEARL IN AN ITALIAN OYSTER.

OH, PLEASE.

IF I DON'T TAKE THIS CHANCE WITH YOU NOW,

I MIGHT REGRET IT FOREVER.

EMILY, I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART.

WILL YOU MARRY ME?

EMILY, DON'T DO THIS.

WHY NOT?

HE LOVES ME.

HE LOVES YOU-- HE KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT YOU.

YOU DON'T KNOW THAT!

WHO IS THIS GUY?

HE'S SOMEBODY THAT I WORK WITH.

YES, BRIAN, I WILL MARRY YOU.

[BRIAN GASPING IN JOY]

[LAUGHING IN DELIGHT]

AW...

[EVERYONE APPLAUDS]

WHY ARE YOU CRYING?

BECAUSE I'M SO HAPPY.

OH.

AND HERE ARE THE KEYS TO THE APARTMENT

AND GARAGE.

I'VE TRANSFERRED EVERYTHING INTO YOUR NAME FOR THE SUBLET.

YOU'RE PAID UP FOR THE NEXT SIX MONTHS,

AND THANK YOU AGAIN SO MUCH

FOR DOING THIS, JACQUELYN.

ARE YOU KIDDING!

YOUR PLACE IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN MINE.

I BOUGHT, LIKE, A HUNDRED CANS OF CAT FOOD,

AND I USUALLY FEED THEM IN THE MORNING

RIGHT BEFORE I GO TO WORK.

I WILL FEED THEM.

ARE YOU SURE THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT TO DO?

YES.

I'M SO HAPPY.

THIS IS WHAT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED.

ALWAYS.

[SIGHS]

[DIALING PHONES]

[HANGING UP]

[ALARM CLOCK BEEPS]

[SIGHS]

[ELECTRIC TOOTHBRUSH WHIRRING]

[BECKONING TO CATS]

[MEOWS]

[♪♪]

♪ S'NO PROBLEM

♪ S'NO WORRIES

♪ IN THE FORECAST THERE'LL BE FLURRIES ♪

♪ WE'LL BE SURROUNDED BY MOUNTAINS OF WHITE ♪

♪ S'NO ISSUE S'NO REASON ♪

♪ S'NO QUESTION 'TIS THE SEASON... ♪

I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU, EMILY.

WE'RE REALLY GOING TO MISS YOU AROUND HERE.

WHO IS GOING TO CARE ABOUT THE PARADE

AS MUCH AS YOU DO?

I'M GOING TO MISS IT MORE THAN I CAN SAY.

WELL, WE GOT THE REPORT FROM HENRY.

HE SAYS WE COULD MAKE MORE MONEY BY CHARGING FOR THE PARADE,

RAISING THE FEE FOR SPONSORS,

AND TAKING A FEE FROM ALL THE BUSINESSES IN THE AREA

WHO PROFIT FROM THE PARADE.

BUT...

IT'S HIS RECOMMENDATION THAT WE DON'T CHANGE ANYTHING.

THAT'S REALLY GREAT.

AS YOU'VE ALWAYS SAID,

THE JOY AND GOODWILL THE PARADE GENERATES FOR THE CITY

CAN'T BE MEASURED IN MONEY.

IT'S PRICELESS.

THAT'S REALLY GREAT.

THE MAYOR IS THRILLED.

THE HACKET DEVELOPMENT CORPORATION,

CITING THEIR APPRECIATION FOR THE PARADE,

BOUGHT A PIECE OF PROPERTY TO BUILD AND FUND

A NEW RONALD MCDONALD HOUSE.

OH, THAT'S WONDERFUL.

YES.

IT'S AN OLD BOOK STORE OVER ON MAIN STREET.

THE NEW OWNER WAS GOING TO TEAR IT DOWN

AND PUT UP A RETAIL SHOP--

HEY PAUL!

PAUL, DO YOU HAVE A MINUTE?

EXCUSE ME.

A BOOK STORE?

WHERE TO, MR. WILLIAMS?

THE AIRPORT.

YES, SIR.

[BAND PLAYING]

WELCOME TO THE CHICAGO THANKSGIVING PARADE!

[AUDIENCE CHEERING]

TELL THE MAYOR'S FLOAT TO SLOW DOWN.

ELMO WAS STUCK IN A TREE AND HE'S JUST NOW CATCHING UP.

"BERESFORD..."

I'M SORRY, EXCUSE ME. I'M JUST GONNA...

THANKS.

THERE SHE IS!

[CROWD CHEERING AND SHOUTING]

WHOA...!

EXCUSE ME,

CAN YOU TELL ME WHO OWNS THE PENTHOUSE?

THE PENTHOUSE IS OWNED

BY THE HACKET DEVELOPMENT CORPORATION.

DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG THEY'VE OWNED IT?

OH, SIX OR SEVEN YEARS, I THINK.

WAS THERE A WILLIAMS FAMILY THAT LIVED THERE?

NOT IN THE LAST 30 YEARS.

THE SUMNER FAMILY LIVED HERE FOR 25 YEARS

BEFORE HACKET BOUGHT IT.

AND THE KIDS ARE STILL UP THERE

IF YOU WANT TO GO UP.

WHAT KIDS?

WELL, THE SUMNER FAMILY OPENED ITS DOORS

TO THE ORPHAN KIDS WHO LIVE IN THE COVINGTON HOUSE

EVERY YEAR,

SO THEY COULD WATCH THE PARADE.

ORPHANS?

YES.

THE HACKET DEVELOPMENT CORPORATION

HAS KEPT UP THE TRADITION.

"HACKET DEVELOPMENT CORPORATION?"

"HENRY HACKET WILLIAMS?"

HENRY WAS AN ORPHAN.

[KIDS LAUGHING]

[♪♪]

ARE YOU ENJOYING THE PARADE?

AH.

[LAUGHS]

THE PARADE IS, UH...

IT'S AMAZING.

YOU DID A GREAT JOB.

THANK YOU.

DID YOU SEE THE GIANT FLYING ELEPHANT BALLOON?

YES.

IT WAS AMAZING.

THERE WAS NO GIANT FLYING ELEPHANT BALLOON.

I'M SORRY.

I'M A LITTLE PREOCCUPIED WITH WORK.

YOU UNDERSTAND.

TELL ME WHAT YOU LOVE ABOUT ME.

WHAT?

WHY DO I LOVE THE PARADE?

WHY DO I WEAR VINTAGE?

BECAUSE YOU'RE... QUIRKY

AND ODD.

AND-AND THAT'S ONE OF THE REASONS WHY I LOVE YOU.

WHY DO I EAT AT JIM'S?

BECAUSE YOU LOVE PIZZA?

YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME.

YES, I DO.

I KNOW YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED AND I'M GIVING YOU THAT.

YOU'RE GIVING ME THAT?

THAT'S WHY WERE GETTING MARRIED?

YES.

I'M WILLING TO DO THAT FOR YOU.

THAT SAYS SOMETHING.

I AGREE,

BUT I'M NOT GOING WITH YOU,

AND I'M NOT GOING TO MARRY YOU.

WHAT?

ARE YOU CRAZY?

DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M OFFERING YOU?

I'M OFFERING YOU A CHANCE

TO SAIL AROUND THE WORLD WITH ME,

A MARINE BIOLOGIST!

MOST WOMEN WOULD KILL FOR THIS.

WELL THEN, I GUESS I'M NOT MOST WOMEN.

GOODBYE, BRIAN.

[DONNA]: EMILY, WHERE ARE YOU?

I'M HERE, WHAT'S WRONG?

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

SORRY, I GOT SIDE-TRACKED.

IS EVERYTHING OKAY?

[SHEEPISH] I'M SORRY, I DID THE BEST I COULD.

WHAT?

I COULDN'T FIND A SANTA!

WAIT, WHAT ARE YOU TELLING ME, DONNA,

THERE'S NO SANTA?

[SANTA CHUCKLING] HO, HO, HO!

HO, HO, HO!

HELLO!

HELLO!

HO, HO, HO!

HI, SANTA!

HO, HO, HO, HO!

HO, HO, HO...

EMILY, ARE YOU THERE? ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING?

HO, HO, HO, HO!

HENRY?

SANTA, OVER HERE!

COME ON.

[CHUCKLES]

WHERE'S BRIAN?

BRIAN DOESN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME.

I'M NOT GOING WITH HIM.

I'M SORRY TO HEAR THAT.

ARE YOU REALLY THE HACKET DEVELOPMENT CORPORATION?

I THINK IT'S IMPORTANT

TO GIVE BACK TO THE CITY THAT RAISED YOU.

WHERE'S GRETCHEN?

GRETCHEN?

I WENT TO YOUR ROOM TO SEE YOU,

AND SHE TOLD ME SHE WAS YOUR GIRLFRIEND.

NO, SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND.

SHE'S NOT?

NO.

WE BROKE UP BEFORE I EVEN MET YOU.

EMILY, I AM SO IN LOVE WITH YOU.

I CAME BACK TO TELL YOU THAT AND I ENDED UP IN A SANTA SUIT.

I CAME BACK

TO HAVE THANKSGIVING DINNER AT JIM'S WITH YOU, AND...

AND TO ASK YOU TO MARRY ME.

YOU DID?

YES, I DID.

YO QUIERO.

YO QUIERO? YOU DO?

I DO.

[LAUGHING]

THIS IS IT.

THIS IS WHAT?

THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.

♪ LET'S GET SNOWED IN TOGETHER

♪ 'CAUSE YOU GOT THAT GLOW

♪ LET'S BLAME IT ON THE WEATHER ♪

♪ BRING ON THE SNOW

♪ THERE'S NO QUESTION 'TIS THE SEASON ♪

♪ WHEN EVERYTHING GETS SO FESTIVE AND BRIGHT ♪

[♪♪]