Original subtitles

- Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com -

(SEABIRDS CHIRPING)

BIANCA: Come on, Lucca. You can take at least a week off.

I'm sending you a photo.

There.

What do you have in Chicago to match that?

Work.

- I have work here. - (SCOFFS) You can bring your work here.

Come on, I'm lonely. It's just me here.

(CHUCKLES): Yeah, you and 30 staff.

It's not the same. I'll send the jet.

You can be there and back in 14 hours.

The Herz divorce, upstairs.

- Let's go. - I got to go, Bianca.

- Here we are. - Okay.

I'll say right up front, this is not about my divorce.

- Is it about your business? - It's about my reputation

- and it's about this firm. - LUCCA: Which firm?

- Reddick/Boseman or STR Laurie? - Aren't you all the same these days?

I keep bouncing from one to the other.

Yes. Tell us what you need.

I saw this play last night,

and for some reason, it has my divorce in it.

It has your divorce? What does that mean?

My divorce from last year? The one you handled?

- Uh, the one Lucca handled. - (LAUGHS): Great.

Circling the wagons already, David? Noted.

Either my $34 million in legal fees

matters to you or it doesn't.

- It does. - Then how the fuck

did the specifics of my divorce end up in this play?

Which parts of your divorce?

My job, my ex-wife, our reasons for divorcing,

everything is in the play.

Even some of the things we said in the depos.

They make me look like an asshole.

And what do you want to do?

Seriously? You need to ask? I want to sue.

I want to Gawker these assholes off the stage.

_

Just give me a second.

Yeah.

I have to head upstairs in a minute.

- Um... - What is it?

Duncan Herz?

The pizza king?

(LAUGHS) Is he getting divorced again?

No. He was satirized in a play,

and now he wants to sue for defamation.

Tell him to let it go.

Satire just disappears if you don't give it any oxygen.

Everybody hates satire.

Unfortunately, I recognized the playwright.

He worked here last year, as an associate.

Who?

Jumaane Jenkins.

Oh, but his name used to be Alan North.

The one we fired for drug use.

Yes.

Damn.

Does Herz know he's an ex-associate?

Not yet.

He will sue us.

- Yeah. - Okay.

Let me take this.

Mr. Herz!

- How are you? - Adrian.

- Yeah. - Fine.

- Good. - What's going on?

Uh, Lucca here filled me in on the issue here,

and I want to say, uh, I think we have some good news.

We might have a path to the lawsuit right here.

So, uh, you give us a day,

we'll take a look at the play,

and we'll see if any privileged information

was taken from our office.

HERZ: Good. I thought you were gonna tell me to drop it.

ADRIAN: Never. (CHUCKLES)

Not when it's this serious.

Great. You'll keep me in touch?

- Will do. - All right.

Thanks.

Privileged information?

What the fuck? Was he a lawyer here?

It's somebody we fired.

Jesus, this place is bush-league.

David...

(LAUGHS): Fuck you.

Take your opinion upstairs and see what they say.

_

(BEEPING)

So, I don't understand. The malware only attacks here?

And only when I use the firm's Wi-Fi.

So someone here is trying to freeze me out

whenever I ask "What is Memo 618?"

- No, not here. - Then where?

Someone upstairs is blocking my Wi-Fi access?

Their head of litigation: Bryan Kneef.

You're kidding. Why?

My guess is because you're asking about what you're asking about.

Memo 618? He knows what it is?

Uh... (EXHALES)

Where are you going?

- To ask him. - To ask him if he knows about Memo 618?

Yes.

Is that smart?

I don't know anymore.

Hi. I need to speak to Bryan Kneef.

This way, Ms. Lockhart.

- (SEABIRDS CHIRPING) - They're waiting for you.

They're... Who's waiting for me?

Everyone.

GAVIN: Diane.

Thank you for coming.

You're welcome. Uh, was I expected?

Yes. Of course.

Uh, you know what? I don't think you've met, uh, Tom,

Danny, Jim, Roger,

Susan, Linda, Big Tom,

Dana, Nate and Dhruhmil.

Oh, and Bryan Kneef. I think you two know each other.

No. We haven't met.

- Just online. Diane. - (ROGER HICCUPS)

So there was a student,

Yamaoka, who sought out a Zen master

and proclaimed, "The mind, the Buddha, attainment,

everything is emptiness.

Nothing really exists".

The Zen master picked up a bamboo stick

and whacked him in the head.

Yamaoka screamed angrily until the master asked him,

"If nothing really exists, from where did your anger come?"

(ROGER HICCUPS)

Um...

Is somebody angry here?

- GAVIN: Bryan? - I need you to stop poaching my clients.

Excuse me?

GAVIN: You know, I explained that you were made

head of pro bono, so there's no reason for you to poach.

BRYAN: And yet, she's having her investigator check my clients.

Wait a minute. I'm only checking your clients to figure out

why you are blocking my Internet access.

- What the hell are you talking about? - GAVIN: Wait.

Quiet.

- We're all on the same team. - (ROGER HICCUPS)

- Roger, go get a glass of water. - (CLEARS THROAT)

Bryan, are you blocking Diane's Internet access?

I am. But only defensively.

Because she's poaching my clients.

DIANE: No. That is a lie.

You blocked me when I asked about Memo 618.

- GAVIN: What is that? - DIANE: I don't know.

But I've had two pro bono cases disappear

when the judge was given Memo 618.

- It has nothing to do with me. - DIANE: No.

GAVIN: Okay, here's what I suggest.

Diane, you won't dig into Bryan's clients.

Bryan, you won't block Diane's Internet access. Understood?

Uh, yes.

- I take no issue with that. - BRYAN: Yes. Fine.

What was that about?

They want me to stop looking.

- Will you? - No.

(LAUGHS)

Here.

It's a billing statement.

Kneef had one case with two years of billable hours,

- but no docket number. - What?

_

- A case that disappeared? - Yes.

And Kneef was losing when it disappeared.

- I don't see a client. - No, it's not in the records.

But...

- it lists the associate on the case. - _

(KEYBOARD CLICKING)

- Yes, ma'am? - You're not shaving anymore.

I got a special dispensation.

I'm bored. I want to be entertained.

(LAUGHS SOFTLY) You want me to sing to you?

No. Tell me a joke.

Man walks into a zoo.

The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog.

It's a Shih Tzu.

Want me to explain it to you?

No, I get it. I'm just not laughing.

Caleb Garlin? Do you have a minute?

You, uh, worked with Bryan Kneef

on a civil suit that we can't find.

JAY: It was about six months ago.

$895,000 in billable hours, but no mention of the client.

Uh, whatever you tell us, uh, won't get back to Mr. Kneef.

(SCOFFS) Oh, I don't care. He's a prick.

Uh, Nola Garnett.

The Tapas Group. Wrongful death.

The docket number was, uh, 57-L-45-20.

Wow. You have a good memory.

(CHUCKLES) I just don't trust digital archiving.

Um...

I wouldn't leave it on there.

The, uh, Tapas Group was being sued by the wife of a prisoner

who died while being transported

in the back of one of their private prison vans.

- So, was there a settlement? - No, just ended.

Ended in what way?

Kneef was arguing for a motion to dismiss.

The judge recessed to review the legal citing

and he never returned.

Uh... He never returned from the recess?

Correct.

- And no one followed up? - Well, we didn't.

We were losing, so it was a gift.

(LAUGHS): I don't know why the plaintiffs never followed up.

Was there ever a mention of a Memo 618?

No. What's that?

Uh, we're not sure.

What was the citing that the judge wanted to review?

57 U.S.C. 3335.

Kneef had argued it meant the case was moot.

U.S. Code... ?

3335.

_

_

_

♪♪

_

_

Liz?

- What's going on with these? - What?

There are no pages. Look.

Oh. Yeah, when they remodeled,

it made it easier to move the books.

Why have law books if we can't use them?

For looks?

Well, if you need something, just check online.

(SIGHS)

This case you were on.

- Who was the plaintiff? - Uh, hold on.

Um, the wife of the prisoner...

No, what lawyer represented her?

Oh, um, well, he wasn't much of an attorney.

Who?

Are you sure I can't offer you two half?

Thank you, no.

GABE: You, young lady?

No, thanks. Looks yummy.

It is.

So, what happened with this prison ban lawsuit?

Well, I represented Nola Garnett.

Above and beyond.

Never missed a filing deadline.

Made oral arguments using alliteration

that I wrote out on index cards.

Hmm. But the case was just dropped?

GABE: Mmm.

Through no fault of mine.

And now she is suing me.

- Uh, who is? - Nola Garnett.

For ineffective assistance.

Me.

Ineffective.

- (CHUCKLES) Can you imagine? - I can't.

- Because this case was just dropped? - GABE: Mmm.

They never gave me any kind of explanation.

Did the defense attorney cite a law... U.S. 3335?

Maybe. I don't know.

But now, in addition to all the rest of my caseload,

I have to defend myself.

Oh. Who is representing you?

Me. Just me.

How about I represent you?

Why would you do that?

Yeah, why?

Well, it sounds like an injustice was done

to this woman, but for her to blame,

uh, a lawyer of your stature

just seems like a further injustice.

Have you much experience

with these type of suits?

Some. Yes.

CHARLOTTE: Thank you.

- Hey. - Hey.

- Mmm. - Mmm.

- How are you? - Good.

- So, here we are for some culture. - (EXHALES)

CHARLOTTE: Cocksucker in Chains?

- The asterisk means it's classy. - (LAUGHS)

ADRIAN: So, here we go.

Let me apologize to you ahead of time.

There's no intermission.

- You fucking kidding me? - Mm-mm.

Power.

Who owns it? Who loses it?

Who controls it?

We're here tonight to observe a divorce.

A white, rich man.

$84.5 million in yearly stock options.

Salary.

His young wife, $48,000.

He's done with her.

Within one year,

she will be dead from a crack overdose.

- That's bullshit. - JONAH: And he?

- She's a chef now. - JONAH: The white owner

will get a great tax break from Donald Trump.

Life in America.

Act one.

We're on your side.

Yes, we are an African-American firm,

but we're here to do what you want.

- (SCOFFS) - What's wrong?

- ADEN: Dana, you have a minute? - DANA: What do you need?

- That's me. - ADEN: We got a divorce here.

We need some of your Elizabeth Warren energy.

What are you talking about? It's a character.

- No, look at him. - We are not political here.

- It's satirizing me. - ADEN: "Woke" is a word for nonlawyers.

We're here to do what you want.

And I'm here to make white people feel more comfortable.

Do you feel more...

... comfortable?

Aden, get your black ass over here.

(LAUGHTER)

- ADEN: Yes, Miss. - Uh-huh.

What do you need?

I need you to bend your ass over my desk.

- Yes'm! - (LAUGHTER)

DANA: I'm gonna fuck you so hard, it will hurt.

(LAUGHTER)

(WHIP CRACKS)

(CHEERING)

See this?

Lucca.

I need you in early tomorrow.

We need to shut this motherfucker down.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

DIANE: Gabe Kovac.

He's being sued by his client

for ineffective assistance of counsel.

LIZ: Yeah, well, that makes sense. He's an idiot.

Well, yes, but this time,

I don't think he was in the wrong.

It's this Memo 618 thing.

It seems to allow judges

to discard cases without a legal citing.

LIZ: So, you've offered to represent him pro bono?

- DIANE: Yes. - Why?

It's the only way to get an answer about this memo.

But why do we want answers about this memo?

Because cases are just disappearing.

But that has nothing to do with our bottom line.

Well, I'm not asking for your permission.

I'm just filling you in.

Maybe you should be asking our permission, Diane.

DIANE: Maybe. But, uh, I'm not.

What-what was that about?

Nothing.

I just don't like the way that Diane insinuates

she can just overrule us.

What are you talking about?

She's not overruling us.

What's going on?

I saw this play last night.

That's the one that Herz is suing over.

It has us in it, too.

- Us? (CHUCKLES) - Mm-hmm.

- What do you mean? - It's satirizing our firm, Liz.

He has me as some pathetic, masochistic motherfucker

who's craving domination from Diane Lockhart?

- (LAUGHS) - Diane? She's-she's in it, too?

Character based on her.

So, this guy wrote a play to get back at us. So what?

They gave them a standing ovation, Liz.

People stood and cheered.

Okay.

Uh, let me take this over.

I think you've lost perspective.

Caleb.

- You wanted to second chair a case? - Yes.

Then I need you.

And I am ready to go.

♪ I ♪

♪ Cannot make a world ♪

♪ And hold it ♪

♪ In my hands ♪

♪ But I have ♪

♪ A father ♪

♪ I have a father ♪

♪ Who can. ♪

Dad, I know you molested your secretaries,

- but I'll protect you. - You all right?

LATISHA: The world still thinks you're a great man.

- Uh, yeah. - But I'll protect you.

I'll protect you.

(CHEERING)

Wow. Thank you for staying for the talkback.

Uh, I'm Zena. I'm the dramaturge.

And this is our illustrious playwright,

- Jumaane Jenkins. - (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

He used to be an associate at the firm?

Yeah. And he was a bad lawyer, too.

We're gonna open up the floor for any questions.

Yeah. Down front.

Jumaane, it was...

deep and so challenging to me.

And the patriarchy.

- Thank you. - Don't stop there.

(LAUGHTER)

Um, what does the play mean?

JUMAANE: Well, it's about how black people are given no room

to be themselves, to speak their truths,

because white people take up their space.

Wow. (CHUCKLES)

Where do you get your ideas?

Well, I worked at a law firm for four years.

(LAUGHTER)

It was an African-American firm,

but then they brought in some white attorneys,

and they brought in even more white attorneys.

And these days, the place... You wouldn't recognize it.

I am a marginalized cis white woman who has been raped,

and I am offended by the reverse racism in this play.

Well, ma'am, I'm not here to say you're not marginalized.

WOMAN: The white women in this play are all bitches.

You're saying that all white women

- want to rape black men? - No.

Uh, I think you should buy the play on Amazon and read it

or buy another ticket

and see it again if that's what you got out of this.

No, you say that white people are the disease,

but I marched with Black Lives Matter.

Maybe the white people in your law firm didn't,

but that does not give you the right to...

Well, look, this is a play about real people, not types.

Like the divorcing white guy, he's based on a real client.

- So, I-I see that... - Wait, did he just say... ?

Yep. "Based on".

Not "inspired by".

- JUMAANE: No. This is a sp... - (ELEVATOR BELL CHIMES)

Huh. This is different.

Yeah, takes everybody a little while to get used to.

I know you.

I'm here for a deposition.

Oh, right. Downstairs.

How do I know you?

Jumaane Jenkins. I used to work here.

Oh, you're Alan North.

You're the druggie.

I wasn't a druggie.

Oh, my God, how they rewrite history here.

- Well, they fired you. - Because they wanted me out.

Because they didn't want an independent mind.

(SCOFFS) Yeah, that's how that works.

In here.

Hello.

Wrong deposition?

Yeah. Upstairs.

(MOUTHS)

(DOOR CLOSES)

You were saying, Mr. Kovacs.

Kovac.

One Kovac.

I just wanted to say how sorry I am

at the loss of your husband, Ms. Garnett.

Not sorry enough to offer effective assistance.

- Objection. - Uh, you can't object,

- Gabe. - Then I take...

great exception.

Noted.

When Ms. Garnett's lawsuit was dismissed,

what steps did you take to challenge the dismissal?

What steps?

Yes.

Well...

I got... angry.

MONICA: Good.

And?

And I wrote a very, very,

very detailed letter to the judge.

Did you get a response?

- Nope. - Mm.

Did you send it?

Well, no, but that wasn't my fault.

The mail delivery in my office has been a disaster.

Do you know that song by Bob Dylan, "Everything is Broken"?

It's so true.

Mm-hmm. And did you appeal the judge's ruling?

No, but that wasn't my fault, either.

There was nothing to appeal.

The judge never ruled.

He just... counted on me forgetting.

And did you forget it?

No, I thought the judge was gonna call the court back into session.

- But he didn't. - DIANE: Did you think

something corrupt was going on,

Mr. Kovac?

Ab-About the recess?

No, I...

Yes.

Yes, I did.

I certainly did. The fix was in.

DIANE: And did you think that the defense attorney

was in league with the judge?

I... Yes.

Yes. I mean...

what other explanation is there?

The judge and the defense were corrupt.

- Completely corrupt. - MONICA: Mm-hmm.

The defense is your parent company, Diane.

Yes, but I still think

we need to call the defense attorney, Bryan Kneef,

and... get some more background.

Yeah.

Wasn't my fault.

- It was his fault. - Mm.

Call him.

Ah.

This must be important.

We're in the big conference room.

That's new.

Will your attorney be joining us, Mr. North?

- Jenkins. - I thought that was a pen name.

Jumaane Alan Jenkins is my birth name.

I went by "Alan North" when I worked here

because I know how you

all value the bourgeois signifiers of whiteness.

(CHUCKLES)

Dear God.

To your question, Liz,

I'm appearing pro se.

Okay, then.

Mr. Jenkins,

last night, you told the audience during a talkback Q&A

that you based your characters on real-life people.

No, I think you misheard.

Um... (CLEARS THROAT)

"This play is based on real people, not types.

Uh, like the divorcing white guy.

He's based on a real client".

What a surprise.

Another white attorney here.

CALEB: (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) Another white attorney

with a photographic memory.

LUCCA: Um... (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

given that Mr. Herz is not a public figure,

basing your character on him is defamation.

- Is that a question? - A statement and a question.

Look... (CHUCKLES) these characters emerged

from my subconscious.

When I said they were based on real people,

I meant they were organically derived composites

of many people I've encountered over the years.

Do you have proof of that?

Do you have proof of not that?

Yes. You admitted that you based a character on our client.

And to that, I say...

Mr. Herz,

if I've... accidentally echoed details from your case,

I'm sorry.

And... I'm totally willing to take out whatever details

you think refer to you, specifically.

I don't understand.

Why not take him up on this?

Because...

you said the point was to stop the play.

Now, if we don't stop it,

it'll still be out there defaming you.

HERZ: You said a lawsuit would turn this into a bigger deal.

It is already a big deal.

A woman became confrontational with the playwright last night.

Their argument was put online.

It's increased interest in the play.

Look, we'll do whatever you want, Mr. Herz,

but Jumaane is only offering you this

because he's worried we're winning.

- Right. - All right.

Let's keep going.

(LIZ CHUCKLES)

- (DOOR OPENS) - (EXHALES)

Can I speak honestly?

Sure.

I don't think you're acting in the best interests of your client.

Really?

You and Liz want to shut this play down

because of what it says about the two of you, not about Herz.

I want to shut it down for the good of our client.

Now, am I personally offended by it?

You are goddamn right I am.

Do you have a problem with that?

(PHONE BUZZES)

_

No.

- Marissa. - Yeah.

Have you heard anything about this play,

Cocksucker in Chains?

Are you kidding? I've been telling everyone to go see it.

We're getting a gang together to see it tonight.

Uh, look, this-this is what I need.

I-I need you to see if you can find

any earlier drafts of the script.

The-the writer is suggesting

that the characters are composites.

Just... see if they're not.

Okay.

♪♪

♪ It's hard to remember... ♪

I need you to bend your ass over my desk.

Yes'm!

(LAUGHTER)

(LAUGHS): Oh, that is so true.

Mmm. How does that feel?

(LAUGHTER)

(MUFFLED SHOUTING)

- (WHIPPING SOUNDS) - (LAUGHTER)

Tell me how much you want me.

Tell me how you want to be fucked.

(MUFFLED SPEAKING)

(AUDIENCE CHUCKLING)

So that's you?

DANA: Scream like a little bitch, Counselor.

Your work's more exciting than I thought.

- (MUFFLED SPEAKING) - (LAUGHTER)

(PANTING) I want you to hurt me.

DANA: How bad?

- ADAN: Make me scream. - (LAUGHTER)

(WHIPPING SOUNDS)

Scream like an animal.

- (GRUNTING) - (SCREAMING)

- (LAUGHTER) - (DAVID LAUGHING LOUDLY)

- You want to go? - Maybe.

Wait.

I think this is you again.

♪♪

I got into the law because it mattered.

In a world where there was so much nihilism and cynicism,

the law was a crystal guide,

a path forward.

But every day, the world chips away at this.

Lawyers get more cynical.

People pay off judges. They threaten them.

Or the judges just give in.

And then there's nothing.

Emptiness.

What is injustice?

It's people...

giving up.

(PANTING)

Oh!

(PANTING)

That was...

(PANTING)

I mean...

Oh, shh...

Shush.

(PANTING)

We probably don't want to examine that, do we?

(PANTING)

I don't.

(PANTING)

(MOANING)

As you can see,

we have a new playwright joining us this evening.

Welcome, Marissa.

Hi, everybody.

Tell us how you found your way to the Chicago Playwrights Forum.

Well, I admit I'm new to this.

I've mostly written poetry and song lyrics.

But I recently saw an amazing play and was so inspired.

And then I read an article that said

the playwright used to be a member here.

Here it comes.

Uh, what was the play?

Cocksucker in Chains.

- I knew it. (CHUCKLES) - (CHUCKLES)

Y-You guys didn't like it?

Okay, first of all, his name is not Jumaane Jenkins.

It's Alan North.

And he didn't invent being black and gay.

I get it, but don't you think

he was brave to write about his drug addiction?

Please, that queen has two cosmos and goes home to watch Netflix.

All right, can we try and speak

from a place of generosity and respect?

AVI: He doesn't need it from us.

He's got the Trib and the Sun-Times.

And Time Out.

Raves. All raves.

- I hate my life. - Okay,

one of the things we talk about in this group

is the poison of schadenfreude.

That's actually not the correct usage of "schadenfreude".

- The word you want is "Missgunst". - OWEN: Thank you, Avi.

ZENA: The point is, we want to feel good

for our fellow writers when they succeed.

Why? It's not like he even gave us

a special thanks in the program.

And we totally rewrote that play.

So you gave him notes?

Notes? We basically wrote it for him.

You should see the early drafts.

Pitiful. Craft-free.

- Do you still have them? - Actually, I do.

I keep them in a box...

marked "Fraud".

Well, I'd love to read them.

I mean, to learn about play development.

(EXHALES) First draft, second draft,

third, fourth, and fifth.

- Wow, that was fast. - (EXHALES)

Playwrights are easy. They hate each other.

Want me to stay and read?

No. We're on it.

MARISSA: Okay, good.

- Good luck. - (CHUCKLES)

Thanks, Marissa.

Oh. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

What's that?

Uh, the dildo.

What page?

Uh, 53.

Wow.

I'm a little saucy, aren't I?

Who's Damian supposed to be?

Uh, an associate.

- No, I mean in reality. - Oh.

Uh, no one.

I mean, n-no one I know. I...

Yeah, but I seem to be pursuing him.

"I've never slept with a white man before.

Have you ever slept with a black woman?"

- (CHUCKLES) - "No, but I'm into trying things once".

"They reach for each other and kiss".

"Whispering, 'Your lips feel different'."

(CHUCKLES) "Yours, too.

Soft". (LAUGHS)

Wow. Wh-Whoa.

That took a turn there.

Yeah, I don't know how they'd do that onstage.

"Control me.

Dominate me".

"He pulls her hair back".

He seems to think that all interracial relationships are...

are about power.

- Are they? - I don't know. I've...

(CHUCKLES): I've never been in one.

Have you?

- No. - No.

We're both just racists.

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

I think it's probably a lack of opportunity.

Ah.

Anyway...

Yeah, it's late. Um...

I'm gonna take this home.

Yeah.

(LAUGHING): That's a good idea.

You know, I-I wasn't trying to suggest anything when I-I...

Oh, no, I-I... I wasn't, either. (LAUGHS)

- You know, just working late. - Right.

Yeah. (LAUGHS)

Wait.

What?

Where I stopped reading,

the description,

Damian pulls her hair back,

Liz lets out a moan.

Liz?

Yup.

Kurt?

- Huh? - What time do you have to be at work?

Why?

(VERY QUIET CHUCKLE)

Huh.

(RAZOR BUZZING)

(DIANE GIGGLES)

(KURT GROWLS)

Mr. Jenkins.

Ah, you got my name right.

That wasn't too hard, now, was it?

So you stated that the characters

in your play were composites of many people you encount... ?

- No. - LIZ: Caleb.

Uh, "these characters emerged from my subconscious.

They were organically-derived composites that..."

Thank you, Mr. Memory.

But as you can see from these earlier drafts

of your play right here,

you named the characters...

by their real names.

Liz, Adrian, Diane.

Yes, but...

I threw those thoughts away, and

created new characters.

The characters are the same.

And if you were a better lawyer,

you would know that right now, you are...

What's the Latin term?

Um...

Fucked.

(LAUGHING)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER OUTSIDE ROOM)

Oh, my God, I'm sorry for my lateness. (INHALES SHARPLY)

I, uh... I got held up.

(DIANE CHUCKLES)

I'm objecting to this subpoena.

You and I are from the same firm.

Yes, and you're just here to offer background, Mr. Kneef.

You're, uh... you're not the defendant, so... relax.

Have a seat.

(DIANE CLEARS THROAT)

So, hello.

Hello.

Mr. Kneef, um, you called a recess

in the case of Nola Garnett v. Tapas Group,

docket number 45-L-7820.

That was a question, sir.

I have no answer.

You have no answer as to whether you called the recess?

I have no answer to your question.

All right. Did you not cite 57 U.S. Code 3335

- in requesting this recess? - Nope.

No, you did not?

No, I requested your ass.

And-and what does that mean?

It means your ass.

Are you refusing to answer?

No, I am answering.

I have requested your ass.

Do you want me to spell it out for you?

DIANE: I have asked you

whether you cited a legal ruling

in requesting this recess?

Yes, and I have answered.

Would you like me to call the judge and insist on your compliance?

- I would like you to call your ass. - Are you getting this?

BRYAN: Oh, here, let me help you.

I have told the plaintiff's lawyer to call her own ass.

And people make fun of the way I practice law.

MONICA: Just answer the question, sir.

We can get out of here a lot faster.

We'll get to your ass faster.

What is Memo 618?

Have I not made it clear?

It-It's your ass.

Memo 618 is your ass.

When you're dead,

and you're on the autopsy table,

and they're taking photos of your body,

when they come to your ass,

that's Memo 618.

Next time you come for me, remember...

we have your ass.

(DOOR OPENS, DOOR CLOSES)

What the hell was that?

Mr. Firth?

May I help you?

Yes, Diane. Do you have a moment?

Oh, sure, but I could have come up to your office.

Why are you representing Gabe Kovac?

We go back a long way.

(SNIFFLES)

Shall we be honest with each other?

Um...

Okay.

Is there some sort of, um...

get-out-of-jail-free card

for, uh, rich and powerful clients?

Not that I'm aware of. Why do you ask?

Well, you assign me to pro bono cases,

and you want me to do my best?

- Yes, of course. - Right.

Well, there is something going on

whereby certain people, rich and powerful people,

don't have to comply with subpoenas

or judicial rulings,

and can end a lawsuit

if they think the ruling will go against them.

You've experienced this?

Yes.

And Bryan Kneef, one of your lawyers upstairs,

seems to have benefited from one of those cases.

- And you're investigating this? - Yes.

Now, I'm sure you will agree

that we should all be subject

to the same system of justice.

But we're not.

If I'm given a subpoena,

I have to comply.

I have to answer honestly.

And if I don't, I should be prosecuted.

That is the only way that the system works.

And if it doesn't work that way,

then the country breaks down.

It's over.

We're done.

Now, you've given me, um, control of these pro bono cases,

and this is essential

to my involvement in these cases.

Okay.

Just keep me in touch.

Uh, Diane, I know that it seems

like I am the enemy, but...

sometimes...

I don't even know what's going on in my own law firm.

Understood.

- (LOUD SQUEAKING) - (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(SQUEAKING)

Lucca Quinn.

Mister... Mr. Firth.

Uh, what are... what are your... ?

Uh, I would have come up.

Mm, I know. I know.

- Can I get you anything? - No.

Well, I see that you got one of these new desks.

- Yes. - Ah. You like it?

No.

Um... (LAUGHING): No.

- Oh. Hmm. - (LAUGHS)

Um, Bianca Skye wants you to help her

with a real estate purchase in Saint Lucia.

What?

Bianca Skye has a multimillion dollar purchase in Saint Lucia.

Seems there's some tax issue.

I suggested David Lee, but she wanted you.

There's no purchase there, sir.

How do you mean?

She's just lonely from her-her divorce. She-she wants a friend.

Do you not want to go?

No. I just...

I want to be useful to the firm.

Then, go.

You'll earn $850 an hour, including travel.

More importantly, you'll keep our top client happy.

(LAUGHS SOFTLY)

I feel like I'm being prostituted, sir.

Hmm.

For ten years,

Marlon Brando wanted me by his side

on his island, Tetiaroa,

just in case any legal issues came up.

There were no legal issues...

ever.

All I did all day was sit on a beach and drink Mai Tais.

Know why he wanted me there?

A year earlier,

I had made a-a funny knock-knock joke in a meeting.

I made him laugh.

The rich are not like us.

They are the cheapest people on Earth...

until they want a friend.

She wants... a friend,

so I need you to go and be that friend.

(WINDOW SQUEAKING)

♪ I started to remember ♪

♪ To hold it all together ♪

(WHIP CRACKS)

- Ouch. - ♪ A limit of ♪

♪ A one-way street ♪

♪ You call it off, you start again... ♪

KURT: Diane?

(CLEARS THROAT) In here.

KURT: The music's a little loud.

I was thinking that, uh, maybe we should...

Hello, big boy.

It's a joke.

Ah.

♪♪

DIANE: So...

(MUFFLED CHUCKLE)

What went wrong?

WOMAN: Nothing.

Men are different.

They can't just turn it on and off.

But last night, we had the best sex ever.

What was that about? You?

No.

I'm not real.

You know my worry.

What?

That it's a racial thing.

Kurt was aroused seeing me

dominate an African-American man.

No.

He was seeing me dominate an African-American man.

Yeah, but you're not real.

He saw you and me

having sex in front of 300 theatergoers.

How do you know that wasn't the turn-on?

(EXHALES) So he's an exhibitionist?

No. People can be turned on by things

and not be that all the time.

Yes, but last night...

(WHISPERS): that was like our first time.

Because it was different.

But don't copy me.

He doesn't want you to be me.

MAN: Why not change?

(SIGHS): To what?

You saw what they did to people who crossed them.

That Uber driver was white.

Are they really gonna smear a black judge?

Are you crazy?

Of course they will.

You're a conservative black judge.

You're not a dime a dozen.

So what are you advising?

Be an honest judge.

Be what you always wanted to be when you got on the bench.

Go to him.

- No. - (GROANS)

He wants to fuck you.

He's never been with a black woman before.

- I'm his boss. - Oh. So?

He doesn't mind.

He already said he doesn't mind.

You know, life is not like a play.

There's no Human Resources in a play.

Invite him to a bar for a drink.

Say you want to get some work done there.

Or... just go by the door,

say you're heading out.

I betcha he says, "You want some company?"

- Yeah, I bet he doesn't. - Then do it.

Don't you find him sexy?

♪ White boys ♪

♪ Are so pretty ♪

♪ Skin as smooth ♪

- ♪ As milk ♪ - (MUTTERS)

♪ White boys are so pre-et-ty ♪

- Shh. - ♪ Hair like Chinese silk. ♪

There you go. Grab your coat.

Hey.

I'm heading out.

- How's it going? - Going good. (CHUCKLES)

Yeah.

You want some company?

Uh, no, I'm fine.

See you tomorrow.

- Okay. Take care. - Hmm.

- (LOUD BANGING) - Liz!

Liz!

♪ White boys are so groovy ♪

♪ White boys are so tough ♪

♪ Every time they're nea-ear-ear me ♪

♪ I just can't get enough. ♪

Oh, God help me.

I have just one witness to depose.

Great.

Who?

You.

Sure.

Take one last crack at me.

It's your money. (CHUCKLES)

JUMAANE: Please state your name and occupation for the record.

Adrian Boseman, partner and attorney.

Mr. Boseman, after I offered to make changes to the play

to satisfy Mr. Herz, how did you advise him?

I think that would fall clearly under the heading

of privileged communication.

LIZ: Mm.

JUMAANE: Given that I was willing to change

whatever traits he found offensive, I'm wondering

- what impeded the settlement. - The remedy that you proposed

was obviously insufficient to undo the harm you caused.

To whom, Adrian?

To our client.

Is it possible that the harm, as you perceived it,

wasn't to your client but to yourself?

ADRIAN: It's possible.

It just isn't true.

Is it possible you've been using your client

as a means of silencing my voice?

LIZ: I'm gonna object to that question.

You know, you really give yourself...

far too much credit, son.

Your voice isn't that important.

Mr. Herz, this firm is using you to advance their cause.

- Please do not speak to our client. - Think about it.

I'm giving you what you want.

If they want something more, let them sue.

That is a lie.

Let's... let's take a break.

♪♪

Hey.

Hi.

- Herz wants out? - Yeah.

Looks like it.

(SIGHS)

Look, I, um...

you know, I-I don't want us to feel...

uh, I don't know, uncomfortable, so I'll just say it.

Oh, uh, no, you don't have to.

We were drinking.

Yeah, and, uh, I am your boss.

So, um...

we're good together?

G-Good?

(CHUCKLES) I mean, we're cool?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, we're cool. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

- Okay. - Yeah.

Oh, that wasn't awkward at all.

(BOTH LAUGH)

I'll see you tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

(DOOR OPENS)

(DOOR CLOSES)

♪♪

Greetings, Lockhart the Lionhearted.

Hello, Gabe.

Um... we don't have a deposition today.

We don't have a deposition at all anymore.

Nola Garnett dropped her suit against me.

- What? - Mm-hmm.

- When? - This morning.

The Tapas Fund settled her lawsuit.

A million eight.

And I am on board for a third of that.

They settled?

Yes, and, Diane, I... I wanted to thank you.

I could've cut you a check,

but, as they say,

"Who steals my purse steals trash".

So...

I wanted to do something...

a little bit more, uh...

personal.

(SQUAWKS SOFTLY)

(CHUCKLES): Gabe, I-I...

I don't know anything about taking care of a bird.

It's no big deal. Fresh fruit twice a day

and a steady supply of toys

so it doesn't get bored.

I love you, Diane.

You... are... the best.

- (BANGS CAGE) - (GASPS, CHUCKLES)

It's okay. You'll be fine.

- (CAR HORN BEEPING) - _

Hello?

Hello.

- You looking for me? - No.

I've already found you.

Handsome set of dueling pistols.

I'm guessing English, mid-19th century?

Who are you?

(CHUCKLES) I won't keep you a minute.

We think you should have a chat with your wife.

Beatrice?

Your wife's seeking to undermine policy.

If you don't handle it, we will.

Who are you?

A visitor.

Uh, this is Kurt McVeigh.

I've got a strange man in my office, TR-768.

Can you send security?

You might emphasize to your wife

she's not a government employee,

so she's not covered by whistleblower protection.

You, on the other hand, serve at the will of the president.

- Get the fuck out of here. - (MUMBLES)

♪♪

How was he able to get into your office?

(SIGHS) I don't know.

I checked with security... they never let him in.

And he didn't say where he was from?

No.

(KURT SIGHS)

You're worried.

Well...

my only regret from last year

was not taking the threat to you more seriously.

Oh...

That wouldn't have made any difference.

Well, you could have stopped working

with your political nuts.

This is different.

This...

this isn't about politics.

I just...

don't... (SIGHS)

- What? - (SIGHS)

What?

I don't want to lose you.

I don't want to be lost.

I'll drop it.

(DIANE MOANS)

- Wait. - What?

Wait.

(WHISPERS): Wait.

(DOOR CLOSES)

What are you doing?

Just give me one more minute.

(DOOR OPENS)

♪♪

- (BREATHILY): Howdy. - (CHUCKLES)

Wow.

Yep.

You just lie back there, cowboy.

♪♪

Are you ready?

Let's ride, Hoss.

- Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com -

[MUSIC BEGINS]

DIANE: That bird has been staring at me.

LIZ: Are you all right?

Just hard to get used to the limo,

driving me up to a private jet.

- I feel guilty. - This is work.

You're my eyes and ears down there.

I need you to help Caleb with a case

in military court.

- [CHAIR SQUEKS] - [MUSIC STOPS]

- [MUSIC RESUMES] - You've become a bad judge.

This is how we got in trouble last time.

- [LIZ MOANING] - [CARDS CLATTER, GAVEL BANGS]

DIANE: I think you and I should have lunch about Memo 618.

[MUSIC ENDS]