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_
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Mm. Hmm.
3
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So Ionic.
4
00:00:14,724 --> 00:00:16,807
If I wanted to be bored on a Saturday,
I would have
5
00:00:16,892 --> 00:00:20,198
signed up for that management
training program at work.
6
00:00:20,233 --> 00:00:22,646
At least there I know
where the good toilets are.
7
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Wait, what training program?
8
00:00:24,608 --> 00:00:26,608
Oh, it's some dumb
career development thing
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00:00:26,736 --> 00:00:29,435
at the plant,
so you can become a manager
10
00:00:29,470 --> 00:00:31,044
and have more responsibility.
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00:00:31,557 --> 00:00:32,722
Who needs that trap?
12
00:00:32,891 --> 00:00:34,975
But we could really use more money.
13
00:00:35,102 --> 00:00:38,145
You've had the same entry-level
job your whole career.
14
00:00:38,230 --> 00:00:39,980
Hey, don't knock entry level, Marge.
15
00:00:40,107 --> 00:00:42,858
At least I don't have to
wear long-sleeve shirts,
16
00:00:43,026 --> 00:00:45,777
go to webinars and supervise a bunch
17
00:00:45,863 --> 00:00:47,779
of entry-level losers,
18
00:00:47,906 --> 00:00:49,990
with their short-sleeve shirts.
19
00:00:50,075 --> 00:00:53,590
Homer, I can't be
the only one in this family
20
00:00:53,625 --> 00:00:55,203
who wants more for us.
21
00:00:55,829 --> 00:00:56,830
I want more.
22
00:00:56,957 --> 00:00:59,082
I just don't want to
do anything to earn it.
23
00:00:59,209 --> 00:01:00,750
For once in your life,
24
00:01:00,919 --> 00:01:03,295
would it kill you to
show a little ambition?
25
00:01:05,132 --> 00:01:08,967
Ah, ambition is indeed a
timeless source of conflict.
26
00:01:09,786 --> 00:01:11,052
A lost senior.
27
00:01:11,138 --> 00:01:13,513
Where is your family?
28
00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:15,849
As a matter of fact, I just curated
29
00:01:15,976 --> 00:01:17,851
an exhibit about a Roman family
30
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torn asunder by the hunger for more.
31
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The life of Obeseus the Wide.
32
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Ooh, maybe an historical allegory
33
00:01:26,737 --> 00:01:28,737
could help us work out our issues.
34
00:01:28,864 --> 00:01:30,322
Once again, bickering in public
35
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gets us free therapy from strangers.
36
00:01:33,202 --> 00:01:34,868
Bickering most tragic.
37
00:01:34,953 --> 00:01:39,122
For ambition was the force
that built the Roman empire
38
00:01:39,208 --> 00:01:41,458
and that which tore it apart.
39
00:01:41,627 --> 00:01:44,085
Obeseus was born to a poor farmer
40
00:01:44,171 --> 00:01:46,713
with much land, but no ox to plow it.
41
00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:49,466
So he improvised.
42
00:01:49,593 --> 00:01:51,635
Life on the farm was cruel.
43
00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:54,054
But it chiseled young Obeseus into quite
44
00:01:54,181 --> 00:01:56,306
the Italian beefcake.
45
00:01:56,391 --> 00:01:57,807
Good news, plow son.
46
00:01:57,935 --> 00:02:00,852
We finally got enough
money to buy us an ox.
47
00:02:01,021 --> 00:02:03,188
Woo-hoo! How'd you do that, father?
48
00:02:03,357 --> 00:02:04,856
I sold you into slavery.
49
00:02:05,025 --> 00:02:06,590
Arrivederci, sucker.
50
00:02:10,906 --> 00:02:12,322
A frightened Obeseus
51
00:02:12,449 --> 00:02:14,032
and his new work friends
52
00:02:14,117 --> 00:02:15,825
were taken to Rome.
53
00:02:15,911 --> 00:02:19,120
The boys had never seen
anything like it... the crowds,
54
00:02:19,248 --> 00:02:21,414
the noise, the grand scale
55
00:02:21,449 --> 00:02:23,625
of the pornographic graffiti.
56
00:02:23,794 --> 00:02:26,586
But the worst was yet to come.
57
00:02:26,755 --> 00:02:28,964
Gentlemen, today you have the honor
58
00:02:29,049 --> 00:02:31,758
of being hacked to death
on the field of battle.
59
00:02:31,885 --> 00:02:34,386
Us? But we're not gladiators.
60
00:02:34,513 --> 00:02:35,887
Not with that attitude.
61
00:02:36,056 --> 00:02:38,348
Remember, there are no small wounds,
62
00:02:38,475 --> 00:02:41,476
only small victims.
63
00:02:47,693 --> 00:02:49,150
Hailing from Germania,
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00:02:49,236 --> 00:02:52,237
he's the Saxon who's always axe-in'...
65
00:02:52,364 --> 00:02:54,906
Wolfus rein!
66
00:02:57,244 --> 00:02:58,368
And in the shaking tunic,
67
00:02:58,453 --> 00:03:01,037
hailing from who knows, nobody cares...
68
00:03:01,123 --> 00:03:02,956
that guy.
69
00:03:08,987 --> 00:03:10,213
Someone's in here.
70
00:03:13,969 --> 00:03:15,552
Aah!
71
00:03:16,888 --> 00:03:18,763
Obeseus didn't know much,
72
00:03:18,890 --> 00:03:20,974
but he knew how to be an ox.
73
00:03:27,733 --> 00:03:29,566
Juno, mother of Apollo.
74
00:03:30,861 --> 00:03:33,111
All right, pal, should we call it a tie?
75
00:03:33,238 --> 00:03:35,113
A-aah!
76
00:03:36,908 --> 00:03:38,908
All hail our new champion,
77
00:03:39,036 --> 00:03:40,785
Mr. Plow himself,
78
00:03:40,912 --> 00:03:43,079
Obeseus!
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00:03:43,396 --> 00:03:45,102
Yeah!
80
00:03:45,459 --> 00:03:46,958
Oh...
81
00:03:47,085 --> 00:03:48,918
That chiseled bumpkin just killed
82
00:03:49,087 --> 00:03:51,087
my prized psychopath.
83
00:03:51,214 --> 00:03:52,881
Feed him to the hippos.
84
00:03:53,008 --> 00:03:56,335
No, father,
look how the crowd loves him.
85
00:03:56,370 --> 00:03:59,796
That hunky rube could put a
lot of togas in the seats.
86
00:03:59,831 --> 00:04:02,432
Majora, you have quite the mind
87
00:04:02,517 --> 00:04:04,476
for the family business.
88
00:04:04,603 --> 00:04:08,063
The man-ox will live
to fight another day.
89
00:04:10,067 --> 00:04:11,099
Mm.
90
00:04:12,152 --> 00:04:13,735
Obeseus' fame grew
91
00:04:13,862 --> 00:04:16,237
as he rose through the
gladiatorial ranks.
92
00:04:16,365 --> 00:04:17,906
Women wanted him
93
00:04:18,033 --> 00:04:20,784
and men wanted to be killed by him.
94
00:04:22,871 --> 00:04:25,497
But still he yearned for that
95
00:04:25,624 --> 00:04:27,499
which he longed for.
96
00:04:28,627 --> 00:04:30,960
Eye... Heart... U!
97
00:04:31,088 --> 00:04:33,088
Oh...
98
00:04:36,894 --> 00:04:39,177
You guys think we'll ever be free again?
99
00:04:40,154 --> 00:04:41,221
The only way we're leaving this place
100
00:04:41,348 --> 00:04:43,431
is carried out in chunks.
101
00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:45,016
Uh, don't mind me, fellas.
102
00:04:45,143 --> 00:04:47,185
Another clog in the chunk chute.
103
00:04:47,312 --> 00:04:50,480
They got to start cutting
you guys into smaller pieces.
104
00:04:50,607 --> 00:04:53,149
Let us make a sacred
pact before the gods.
105
00:04:53,318 --> 00:04:54,859
If one of us ever gets free,
106
00:04:54,986 --> 00:04:57,821
he'll do everything he can
to free the rest of us.
107
00:04:57,948 --> 00:04:59,480
To freedom.
108
00:04:59,574 --> 00:05:00,740
To freedom!
109
00:05:00,867 --> 00:05:02,511
Yeah, to freedom.
110
00:05:03,537 --> 00:05:06,287
Eh, you chunks are no fun.
111
00:05:07,749 --> 00:05:11,764
Well, if it isn't
the champion of Rome himself.
112
00:05:12,285 --> 00:05:13,293
Lady Majora.
113
00:05:13,338 --> 00:05:14,879
What are you doing here?
114
00:05:15,006 --> 00:05:18,425
I have to keep an eye on
my father's investments.
115
00:05:18,593 --> 00:05:20,719
Plus, I like the way your pecs dance
116
00:05:20,846 --> 00:05:22,429
after you kill a guy.
117
00:05:23,808 --> 00:05:25,099
These old things?
118
00:05:25,134 --> 00:05:27,934
Blip, blip, bla-bla, blip,
blip, bla-bla, blip.
119
00:05:32,607 --> 00:05:34,107
Mm-hmm.
120
00:05:34,234 --> 00:05:36,985
Swish and slash and spin and kick
121
00:05:37,070 --> 00:05:40,029
and slice that belly and hello, guts.
122
00:05:40,157 --> 00:05:43,367
It would appear that one
of you lowly gladiators
123
00:05:43,402 --> 00:05:45,618
has impregnated my daughter.
124
00:05:45,704 --> 00:05:47,582
Tell me who laid with her,
125
00:05:47,617 --> 00:05:50,457
and the rest of you
will be spared the lash.
126
00:05:50,584 --> 00:05:52,167
Mm...
127
00:05:52,294 --> 00:05:54,753
I had sexicus.
128
00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:58,423
- I had sexicus.
- I had sexicus.
129
00:05:58,592 --> 00:06:00,508
I had sexicus.
130
00:06:00,635 --> 00:06:02,802
- I had sexicus.
- I had sexicus.
131
00:06:02,929 --> 00:06:04,345
I had sexicus.
132
00:06:04,473 --> 00:06:05,722
You jerks!
133
00:06:05,849 --> 00:06:07,348
You knew I liked her.
134
00:06:07,476 --> 00:06:09,601
We were covering for you, jackass.
135
00:06:09,686 --> 00:06:10,935
Oh, right.
136
00:06:11,062 --> 00:06:12,604
Sir, I'm in love with your daughter.
137
00:06:12,731 --> 00:06:15,190
If you must punish someone, punish me.
138
00:06:15,358 --> 00:06:18,818
Place his head on the beheading block.
139
00:06:22,115 --> 00:06:24,699
Which is also the unlocking block.
140
00:06:24,826 --> 00:06:27,452
Rise, for you are now free...
141
00:06:27,537 --> 00:06:28,620
Woo-hoo!
142
00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:31,331
- ...to marry my daughter.
- D'oh!
143
00:06:31,458 --> 00:06:33,750
I-I mean, great.
144
00:06:33,877 --> 00:06:37,253
What could be more
liberating than marriage?
145
00:06:37,422 --> 00:06:39,923
The young lovers were
wed for all the gods to see.
146
00:06:40,050 --> 00:06:43,009
And plans were made for their future.
147
00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:45,261
So that you may build a life together,
148
00:06:45,388 --> 00:06:49,226
I give you the deed to
one of my many businesses.
149
00:06:49,261 --> 00:06:50,809
Oh, thank you, daddy.
150
00:06:50,894 --> 00:06:53,186
I have so many great ideas.
151
00:06:53,355 --> 00:06:56,356
Oh, my little vestal non-virgin,
152
00:06:56,525 --> 00:06:59,067
leave the business talk to the men.
153
00:07:01,446 --> 00:07:04,489
Now, Obeseus, to get things started,
154
00:07:04,616 --> 00:07:08,368
please, take some slaves on the house.
155
00:07:08,495 --> 00:07:11,496
Aw, slaves? You shouldn't ha...
156
00:07:12,639 --> 00:07:13,723
I can't own my friends.
157
00:07:13,750 --> 00:07:16,459
I swore a sacred oath to free them.
158
00:07:18,755 --> 00:07:21,297
For a woman to have any
voice in this world,
159
00:07:21,424 --> 00:07:24,509
it would have to come out of
her husband's stupid mouth.
160
00:07:24,636 --> 00:07:27,637
My love, you are so noble
161
00:07:27,722 --> 00:07:30,390
to take on the backbreaking
work of four men,
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00:07:30,517 --> 00:07:31,599
day in, day out,
163
00:07:31,685 --> 00:07:33,476
no matter how poor and hungry
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00:07:33,603 --> 00:07:35,345
it shall leave you.
165
00:07:36,516 --> 00:07:40,942
Look, fellas, no one honors oaths
more than me. No one.
166
00:07:41,027 --> 00:07:43,111
Just give me a little time
till we get on our feet,
167
00:07:43,280 --> 00:07:45,427
then I'll totally free you.
168
00:07:45,462 --> 00:07:46,823
Management thanks you for your patience.
169
00:07:46,992 --> 00:07:50,034
And, so,
in choosing greed over loyalty,
170
00:07:50,161 --> 00:07:52,745
the young couple began
their rise to power...
171
00:07:52,873 --> 00:07:55,957
And their fall from grace.
172
00:07:56,042 --> 00:07:59,419
Well, now I feel stupid
getting them a wedding gift.
173
00:08:05,546 --> 00:08:08,786
- _
- Obeseus entered the second act of his life
174
00:08:08,798 --> 00:08:10,889
running the dirty, bloody business
175
00:08:11,016 --> 00:08:13,115
given to him by his father-in-law...
176
00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:15,117
A laundromat.
177
00:08:16,961 --> 00:08:19,872
Fun fact: In ancient Rome,
clothes were washed
178
00:08:19,999 --> 00:08:23,751
with ammonia,
which is derived from human urine.
179
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:24,927
What's up, dad?
180
00:08:24,962 --> 00:08:26,212
How's the whiz biz?
181
00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:28,623
Mellow and yellow.
182
00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:31,258
Why is the store closed?
183
00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:32,551
It's only noon.
184
00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:34,887
Me and the fellas are all peed out.
185
00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:38,182
How am I supposed to make things
clean without human waste?
186
00:08:38,309 --> 00:08:40,059
This business has been failing for years
187
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:42,436
because you've been phoning it in.
188
00:08:42,563 --> 00:08:44,104
Figure it out.
189
00:08:44,232 --> 00:08:46,093
Hey, uh, "boss"?
190
00:08:47,026 --> 00:08:48,234
We came up with an idea that
191
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,486
could increase ammonia production.
192
00:08:50,571 --> 00:08:53,072
All you got to do is put
these jugs outside of taverns,
193
00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:55,199
and you'll get your urinus gratis.
194
00:08:55,326 --> 00:08:58,494
Crowdsourcing a streaming service, eh?
195
00:08:58,621 --> 00:09:00,098
I'm a genius!
196
00:09:03,042 --> 00:09:06,126
Stealing the idea
of his indentured friends,
197
00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:08,170
Obeseus was soon flush
198
00:09:08,256 --> 00:09:09,630
in liquid assets.
199
00:09:09,757 --> 00:09:11,340
And he was able to move his family
200
00:09:11,467 --> 00:09:14,468
to the more prosperous side of town.
201
00:09:42,039 --> 00:09:44,415
Lennus, I'm fatigued.
202
00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:45,949
Yawn for me?
203
00:09:48,921 --> 00:09:51,672
Obeseus, we gave you
the idea that made you rich.
204
00:09:51,757 --> 00:09:53,924
How about making good on your promise,
205
00:09:54,051 --> 00:09:55,718
and freeing us now?
206
00:09:55,803 --> 00:09:57,803
Guys, guys, guys, thank you so much
207
00:09:57,930 --> 00:09:59,305
for bringing this up.
208
00:09:59,390 --> 00:10:01,557
I'm really lucky to
own friends like you.
209
00:10:01,726 --> 00:10:03,767
Tell you what, I'll have my accountant
210
00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:05,769
crunch the letters,
and we'll circle back.
211
00:10:05,896 --> 00:10:07,104
The important thing is
212
00:10:07,189 --> 00:10:09,523
we started a conversation.
213
00:10:13,738 --> 00:10:16,363
And now let us thank lord Jupiter
214
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:19,908
for a bountiful harvest
by draining the blood
215
00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:23,078
of this baby goat.
216
00:10:24,248 --> 00:10:26,081
Aw, these seats suck.
217
00:10:26,208 --> 00:10:28,292
Can't even see the entrails from here.
218
00:10:28,377 --> 00:10:31,503
Well, they save all the
best seats for the senators.
219
00:10:33,090 --> 00:10:34,923
Hmm.
220
00:10:35,092 --> 00:10:37,718
What if you became a senator?
221
00:10:37,887 --> 00:10:40,220
Think about how much
more respected we'd be.
222
00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:43,098
I don't know.
It sounds like a lot of work.
223
00:10:43,225 --> 00:10:44,933
Sitting there all day,
224
00:10:45,019 --> 00:10:47,519
listening,
voting on stuff with my thumb.
225
00:10:47,688 --> 00:10:48,979
But think of the perks.
226
00:10:49,106 --> 00:10:51,690
You'll get invited to fancier orgies.
227
00:10:51,817 --> 00:10:54,610
- The kinds with women.
- They have those?
228
00:10:54,737 --> 00:10:58,489
And with that,
Obeseus marched down the Appian way
229
00:10:58,616 --> 00:11:00,616
to plead his case to the emperor,
230
00:11:00,701 --> 00:11:03,952
confident that he would be
welcomed into the senate.
231
00:11:05,433 --> 00:11:07,581
The pee guy, a senator?
232
00:11:07,708 --> 00:11:09,958
That would be an insult to
the dignity of this office.
233
00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:13,087
Now if you'll excuse me,
Senator Horse and I
234
00:11:13,172 --> 00:11:15,422
are going shopping for lewd pottery.
235
00:11:16,425 --> 00:11:18,550
Oh...
236
00:11:19,303 --> 00:11:20,803
Stupid emperor.
237
00:11:20,888 --> 00:11:24,264
Thinks he's great
'cause his bangs are so curly.
238
00:11:25,226 --> 00:11:27,351
Oh, Majora's gonna be so mad.
239
00:11:27,478 --> 00:11:30,312
I'd do anything to be a senator.
240
00:11:30,398 --> 00:11:31,855
Anything, eh?
241
00:11:31,982 --> 00:11:34,650
You know, as the emperor's
politically adopted son,
242
00:11:34,777 --> 00:11:38,195
I am next in line to the throne
should anything happen to...
243
00:11:39,123 --> 00:11:40,130
daddy.
244
00:11:40,157 --> 00:11:42,825
Like, say, him slipping
and falling back-first
245
00:11:42,910 --> 00:11:44,118
onto a knife.
246
00:11:44,245 --> 00:11:46,704
Oh, that happened to me once. Sucked.
247
00:11:47,436 --> 00:11:49,331
Kill the emperor
and I'll make you a senator.
248
00:11:50,257 --> 00:11:52,167
Kill the emperor to become senator?
249
00:11:52,294 --> 00:11:54,378
But what's in it for me?
250
00:11:54,463 --> 00:11:56,088
Jacta alea est.
251
00:11:56,257 --> 00:11:58,424
The die was cast.
252
00:11:58,509 --> 00:12:01,468
? when in Rome you do as the Romans do ?
253
00:12:01,595 --> 00:12:04,930
? you play as the Romans
play together. ?
254
00:12:05,057 --> 00:12:06,932
Hey, get out of here, you.
255
00:12:07,059 --> 00:12:08,684
This is my private vomitorium
256
00:12:08,853 --> 00:12:11,090
and I've got a belly full of hot figs.
257
00:12:12,106 --> 00:12:14,064
Come on, you figs.
258
00:12:18,821 --> 00:12:22,114
Et... tu... pee guy?
259
00:12:26,678 --> 00:12:27,719
History rules!
260
00:12:28,914 --> 00:12:30,330
Poor Majora.
261
00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:32,833
She wanted her husband
to be more ambitious,
262
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:34,626
but not like this.
263
00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:36,795
Well, actually...
264
00:12:36,922 --> 00:12:38,097
Mm-hmm.
265
00:12:38,340 --> 00:12:41,925
Give me a kiss, you big,
stabby go-getter.
266
00:12:42,052 --> 00:12:43,218
Ooh.
267
00:12:44,930 --> 00:12:46,555
I love my job.
268
00:12:49,669 --> 00:12:51,037
- _
- Over the next ten years,
269
00:12:51,131 --> 00:12:54,040
senator Obeseus' power grew vastly,
270
00:12:54,124 --> 00:12:56,273
as did his toga size.
271
00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:58,692
And Majora reveled in the high status,
272
00:12:58,819 --> 00:13:00,152
hosting the town's elite
273
00:13:00,321 --> 00:13:02,821
at her lavish Saturnalia party.
274
00:13:04,414 --> 00:13:06,700
I love your holiday decorations.
275
00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:09,077
It lets those pesky Christians
know they aren't going to win
276
00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:11,038
the war on Saturnalia.
277
00:13:11,123 --> 00:13:12,623
So, noble slaves,
278
00:13:12,750 --> 00:13:16,084
what gift do you desire
from your benevolent master?
279
00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:18,712
Uh... Our friggin' freedom.
280
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:21,298
Yeah, well, the thing about that is...
281
00:13:21,425 --> 00:13:23,342
Why do we even bother asking anymore?
282
00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:24,927
He's never gonna free us.
283
00:13:25,054 --> 00:13:27,554
This has been building up for a while:
284
00:13:27,723 --> 00:13:29,223
You give slave owners a bad name.
285
00:13:30,479 --> 00:13:31,516
What?
286
00:13:32,013 --> 00:13:33,811
- What a giant jerk.
- Ugh, he's the worst.
287
00:13:33,938 --> 00:13:36,688
Dad, Bartigula's out of control.
288
00:13:36,857 --> 00:13:39,358
Look what he's doing
to Ptolemaic book guy.
289
00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:41,985
- Ow.
- Why are you flaying yourself?
290
00:13:42,112 --> 00:13:44,154
- Ow!
- Why are you flaying yourself?
291
00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:46,031
An interesting paradox.
292
00:13:46,158 --> 00:13:49,368
For does free will truly exist or... Ow!
293
00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:51,203
Growing up rich and spoiled
294
00:13:51,288 --> 00:13:53,914
has turned your son into a monster.
295
00:13:54,041 --> 00:13:55,082
It's not my fault.
296
00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:56,792
I never spend any time with him.
297
00:13:58,087 --> 00:13:59,461
w.
298
00:13:59,547 --> 00:14:01,797
My son's a maniac.
My daughter's not a son.
299
00:14:01,924 --> 00:14:04,091
My slaves hate me for some reason.
300
00:14:05,243 --> 00:14:06,343
Heavy lies the head
301
00:14:06,470 --> 00:14:09,721
that wears the wig of curly bangs.
302
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:10,906
Mm.
303
00:14:10,975 --> 00:14:12,641
I'm spent.
304
00:14:12,726 --> 00:14:16,603
Just gonna take a bath in warm
donkey milk and go to sleep.
305
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:19,523
I can't believe the emperor
didn't even come to my party.
306
00:14:19,608 --> 00:14:22,317
He wouldn't even be
emperor if not for you.
307
00:14:22,444 --> 00:14:23,902
Yeah, well,
what do you want me to do about it...
308
00:14:24,029 --> 00:14:25,779
kill the emperor?
309
00:14:25,906 --> 00:14:28,490
Well, if that's what you want.
310
00:14:28,617 --> 00:14:30,909
You can even use the present I got you.
311
00:14:31,036 --> 00:14:32,911
Sweet jumpin' Jupiter!
312
00:14:33,038 --> 00:14:34,204
What more do you want?
313
00:14:34,331 --> 00:14:35,622
We started at the bottom
314
00:14:35,749 --> 00:14:38,208
and now we're one rung from the top.
315
00:14:38,335 --> 00:14:40,752
It's a natural stopping point.
316
00:14:40,921 --> 00:14:42,921
Will you never be satisfied?
317
00:14:43,090 --> 00:14:45,215
Pardon me, senator.
318
00:14:45,342 --> 00:14:48,719
I'm sorry you find my
ambition so distasteful.
319
00:14:48,804 --> 00:14:49,970
Just remember:
320
00:14:50,097 --> 00:14:53,557
Power comes to those who take it.
321
00:14:55,811 --> 00:14:56,915
Mmm.
322
00:14:57,521 --> 00:14:59,855
Aw, yeah. Yeah.
323
00:14:59,982 --> 00:15:01,899
Milk, milk, milk.
324
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,403
To the Roman empire.
325
00:15:06,488 --> 00:15:09,823
May it last forever,
in some strange form or another.
326
00:15:09,992 --> 00:15:11,658
Ooh.
327
00:15:11,785 --> 00:15:13,493
Can't be too careful these days.
328
00:15:13,621 --> 00:15:15,120
Oh, taster.
329
00:15:18,725 --> 00:15:21,335
Poison. Someone has tried to kill me.
330
00:15:22,318 --> 00:15:23,535
You didn't?
331
00:15:23,570 --> 00:15:24,796
You wouldn't.
332
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:27,799
When I find whoever did this,
I will crush them like a...
333
00:15:35,257 --> 00:15:37,100
The emperor is dead!
334
00:15:37,186 --> 00:15:39,686
Who will nominate his successor?
335
00:15:39,855 --> 00:15:42,814
Friends, Romans, countrymen.
336
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,441
That's me.
337
00:15:44,568 --> 00:15:46,109
We deserve an emperor who can
338
00:15:46,236 --> 00:15:48,654
boldly lead us into the future.
339
00:15:48,822 --> 00:15:51,655
My son, Bartigula.
340
00:15:51,690 --> 00:15:52,732
Wha?!
341
00:15:53,994 --> 00:15:55,160
He was born rich,
342
00:15:55,245 --> 00:15:57,788
so he got to be good at business.
343
00:15:57,873 --> 00:16:00,115
Bartigula!
344
00:16:00,150 --> 00:16:04,392
Bartigula! Bartigula!
345
00:16:04,427 --> 00:16:06,254
Bartigula!
346
00:16:06,340 --> 00:16:09,591
And so began the
reign of Bartigula the Jerk.
347
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:12,469
Eager to expand the empire,
he declared war
348
00:16:12,596 --> 00:16:15,472
on Neptune, god of the sea.
349
00:16:15,599 --> 00:16:17,683
Despite some early victories,
350
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:20,644
thousands drowned.
351
00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:23,689
Bartigula blamed the troubles of Rome
352
00:16:23,857 --> 00:16:26,316
on foreign invaders.
353
00:16:26,443 --> 00:16:30,112
So he built a large and
expensive wall to keep them out.
354
00:16:30,239 --> 00:16:31,655
Awk, who needs ya?
355
00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:33,490
Ya carthage-sacking
356
00:16:33,659 --> 00:16:35,909
aqueduct guzzlers.
357
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:38,120
And finally, to silence his critics,
358
00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:41,665
Bartigula dissolved the senate.
359
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:44,251
Aah!
360
00:16:44,336 --> 00:16:47,170
The young emperor
had gone mad with power.
361
00:16:47,256 --> 00:16:48,922
And syphilis.
362
00:16:49,049 --> 00:16:50,507
Listen up, Rome-wads.
363
00:16:50,634 --> 00:16:51,842
The empire's in crisis,
364
00:16:51,927 --> 00:16:53,510
the economy's in the crapatorium,
365
00:16:53,637 --> 00:16:55,721
and Neptune's kicking our butts,
somehow.
366
00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:57,723
I now realize...
367
00:16:57,850 --> 00:17:00,934
I can no longer be your emperor.
368
00:17:01,061 --> 00:17:02,119
Oh. Phew.
369
00:17:02,187 --> 00:17:04,813
Because I am now your god!
370
00:17:06,358 --> 00:17:08,358
That's it. I'm taking a stand.
371
00:17:09,820 --> 00:17:12,154
My son isn't a god.
372
00:17:12,239 --> 00:17:14,239
He's just an entitled little psycho.
373
00:17:14,366 --> 00:17:16,700
Society must come to its senses
374
00:17:16,827 --> 00:17:18,952
and overthrow this madman!
375
00:17:19,079 --> 00:17:21,288
- Uh... Uh...
- Hmm. I don't know.
376
00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:23,582
Blasphemy! Seize him!
377
00:17:24,752 --> 00:17:27,044
For your heresy, father, I sentence you
378
00:17:27,171 --> 00:17:29,337
to be eaten by the lions.
379
00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:33,508
Hmm. We're gonna need more lions.
380
00:17:34,633 --> 00:17:35,760
Why are we here?
381
00:17:35,795 --> 00:17:37,512
They said I could bring
a couple of belongings.
382
00:17:37,639 --> 00:17:40,974
Hey, this is where we made
our freedom pact, remember?
383
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:44,102
The one you refused
to honor for 20 years.
384
00:17:45,422 --> 00:17:48,815
Not freeing you guys
was the first worst thing I ever did,
385
00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:52,069
but I hereby decree
you to be emancipated.
386
00:17:52,196 --> 00:17:55,381
Now face the dawn as free men.
387
00:17:55,416 --> 00:17:57,397
We're in a jail cell, you dope.
388
00:18:00,828 --> 00:18:03,052
Father, we have
to get you out of the city.
389
00:18:03,087 --> 00:18:04,890
Hurry, and you can still escape.
390
00:18:04,925 --> 00:18:06,669
No, I'm not going to run.
391
00:18:06,704 --> 00:18:07,751
Because you physically can't?
392
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:09,711
Yes, mostly, but also
393
00:18:09,797 --> 00:18:13,173
because we have to stop
Bartigula and save the republic.
394
00:18:13,258 --> 00:18:15,675
Are you fellas with me?
395
00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:17,636
Uh... No.
396
00:18:20,390 --> 00:18:22,432
Oh.
397
00:18:22,559 --> 00:18:24,967
Though he had lost everything,
398
00:18:25,002 --> 00:18:28,563
Obeseus still had the
heart of a warrior.
399
00:18:33,695 --> 00:18:35,695
Looks like Hannibal's
missing an elephant.
400
00:18:35,823 --> 00:18:37,072
Oh, yeah.
401
00:18:37,199 --> 00:18:40,659
All hail the living god.
402
00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:42,536
We who are about to die
403
00:18:42,663 --> 00:18:44,788
salute you.
404
00:18:45,513 --> 00:18:46,598
Oh!
405
00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:51,711
You dare show me your moon flaps?
406
00:18:51,838 --> 00:18:55,423
I will teach this old fool who
is the true Gluteus Maximus.
407
00:18:55,592 --> 00:18:57,925
Bartigula, no!
408
00:18:58,053 --> 00:19:00,219
There, in front of all Rome,
409
00:19:00,347 --> 00:19:04,057
father and son engaged in bloody battle.
410
00:19:06,853 --> 00:19:08,478
Bartigula was fast,
411
00:19:08,605 --> 00:19:11,064
but Obeseus was fatter.
412
00:19:16,112 --> 00:19:19,614
Kill the god! Kill the god!
413
00:19:19,741 --> 00:19:23,076
Obe, please spare our boy.
414
00:19:23,676 --> 00:19:24,677
What?
415
00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:28,122
Sic semper this, you fat load.
416
00:19:29,167 --> 00:19:31,084
Why, you littleus...
417
00:19:35,924 --> 00:19:37,882
No!
418
00:19:39,077 --> 00:19:40,301
My life is over.
419
00:19:40,387 --> 00:19:44,180
I failed Rome,
was a less-than-perfect father.
420
00:19:44,307 --> 00:19:45,723
Worst of all,
421
00:19:45,850 --> 00:19:48,685
I really screwed over my friends.
422
00:19:48,853 --> 00:19:50,853
May the... Gods...
423
00:19:51,022 --> 00:19:52,772
forgive me.
424
00:19:55,318 --> 00:19:57,276
I poisoned everything I loved
425
00:19:57,404 --> 00:19:59,278
with my boundless ambition.
426
00:19:59,406 --> 00:20:02,156
My family is no more.
427
00:20:04,661 --> 00:20:06,536
Mom, what about me?
428
00:20:06,663 --> 00:20:09,580
We never really... clicked.
429
00:20:09,708 --> 00:20:12,792
With that, the match was lit
430
00:20:12,877 --> 00:20:15,253
that would burn Rome to the ground...
431
00:20:15,422 --> 00:20:17,255
400 years later.
432
00:20:17,424 --> 00:20:19,549
Haw-haw!
433
00:20:20,635 --> 00:20:23,428
Who knew history could be so sad?
434
00:20:23,555 --> 00:20:25,722
The moral of that story is clear:
435
00:20:25,890 --> 00:20:28,391
Marge is wrong and ambition is terrible.
436
00:20:28,518 --> 00:20:31,853
No, no, no.
The lesson is that the unchecked lust
437
00:20:31,980 --> 00:20:33,354
for money and power can bring
438
00:20:33,481 --> 00:20:35,940
a once-great nation to ruin.
439
00:20:36,067 --> 00:20:38,693
Does anyone think it was
weird that dad killed me?
440
00:20:38,820 --> 00:20:40,945
Don't blame me. Blame your mother.
441
00:20:41,030 --> 00:20:44,694
I just wanted you to go to
one lousy training seminar.
442
00:20:44,729 --> 00:20:45,950
Did you not even listen to
the old guy's story about...
443
00:20:48,288 --> 00:20:50,621
When will humanity ever learn...
444
00:20:50,749 --> 00:20:54,584
to stop letting stupid
people into museums?
445
00:21:00,747 --> 00:21:01,968
They're missing the whole point.
446
00:21:02,023 --> 00:21:05,303
If Rome had kept worshipping us,
everything would have been fine.
447
00:21:05,388 --> 00:21:07,054
Get over it, Dad.
448
00:21:07,223 --> 00:21:10,349
You always get so worked up
whenever you watch the mortals.
449
00:21:10,477 --> 00:21:11,726
Can we change the channel?
450
00:21:11,853 --> 00:21:13,352
This show sucks now.
451
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:17,064
Yeah, it's totally gone off
the rails since season 2016.
452
00:21:17,150 --> 00:21:19,108
I know, but I want to see how it ends.
453
00:21:19,235 --> 00:21:21,486
Definitely feels like
they're wrapping it up.
454
00:21:21,613 --> 00:21:23,905
Any day now.
455
00:21:29,704 --> 00:21:31,412
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