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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,900 --> 00:00:09,900 You texted, I came. 2 00:00:10,100 --> 00:00:11,100 Do you love it? 3 00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:14,900 The batter of the bulge pancake house? 4 00:00:15,100 --> 00:00:18,600 Well, in the pantheon of places i'd like to be taken by a gentleman caller... 5 00:00:18,635 --> 00:00:21,800 You don't find the promise of luftwaffles and panzer cakes irresistible? 6 00:00:21,900 --> 00:00:23,965 While I do admire the culinary genius 7 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:27,150 who thought to forge the human drama of the allied struggle 8 00:00:27,185 --> 00:00:30,300 against nazi germany with the goodness of all day breakfast... 9 00:00:30,335 --> 00:00:32,200 I didn't bring you here for the pancakes, dubs. 10 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:33,665 You didn't? 11 00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:37,100 I may be a starving musician, but give me a little more credit. 12 00:00:37,135 --> 00:00:38,265 Well, thank god, 13 00:00:38,300 --> 00:00:40,765 because, technically this is our third date, 14 00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:44,000 and while things have been known to happen on third dates, 15 00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:47,365 the batter of the bulge pancake house isn't exactly a deal maker. 16 00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:51,900 Though the thought of "things happening" has occasionally occurred to me since we met, 17 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:56,100 it's not why I brought you to this bunker of maple syrup and mortar fire. 18 00:00:58,900 --> 00:01:00,765 Hold these, if you please. 19 00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:04,665 - Why am I standing up? - Step this way, please. 20 00:01:04,700 --> 00:01:08,200 But I was just about to order a cruller named after the invasion of crete! 21 00:01:08,235 --> 00:01:10,300 Just a couple more steps, porsche dubster. 22 00:01:10,900 --> 00:01:12,100 What's with the quarters? 23 00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:15,900 All your questions will be answered right now. 24 00:01:16,300 --> 00:01:19,200 Sweet mother of nolan bushnell. 25 00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:21,900 - It's gut wrencher 1. - It's gut wrencher 1! 26 00:01:21,935 --> 00:01:24,100 The goriest side-scroller in history, 27 00:01:24,135 --> 00:01:25,665 banned in 17 countries, 28 00:01:25,700 --> 00:01:30,700 the only arcade game ever to be denounced by both tipper gore and the dalai lama. 29 00:01:30,735 --> 00:01:33,500 They only made 150 of these before it all went set-top. 30 00:01:33,535 --> 00:01:36,065 But only the coin-op edition has the additional 31 00:01:36,100 --> 00:01:40,800 four levels of sheer carnage that the home edition did not have. 32 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:43,400 This is my favorite. How did you know? 33 00:01:43,435 --> 00:01:44,800 Because you're made of awesome. 34 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:52,765 Oh, my god, tyler, I... 35 00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:55,600 Don't get all mushy on me, princess. 36 00:01:56,400 --> 00:01:57,800 I came to play. 37 00:02:00,900 --> 00:02:03,165 Come on, shoot him! He's at 60 percent! 38 00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:05,300 Keep him off me, I gotta get the scud missile. 39 00:02:05,335 --> 00:02:06,365 Come on! 40 00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:07,600 He just chopped off my leg! 41 00:02:07,635 --> 00:02:08,867 I'm going as fast as I can. 42 00:02:08,902 --> 00:02:10,065 Oh, he took my other leg! 43 00:02:10,100 --> 00:02:12,400 That's it, tyler ford shall smite you! 44 00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:14,600 All right, I got this one, fordo. 45 00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:18,800 wow. 46 00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:24,000 We just destroyed the th level bloodlust catamite. 47 00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:26,100 Yeah, with a scud missile. 48 00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:29,800 And it only took 18 dollars in quarters to finish the game. 49 00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:37,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 50 00:02:46,100 --> 00:02:47,600 Ida, what the...? 51 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:49,300 Quite the minx, isn't she? 52 00:02:49,700 --> 00:02:52,365 Story of o! Turn it off! 53 00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:54,565 Full surveillance, standard operating procedure 54 00:02:54,600 --> 00:02:57,700 whenever a middleman starts a meaningful personal relationship. 55 00:02:58,100 --> 00:02:59,665 Wendy's like a little sister to me. 56 00:02:59,700 --> 00:03:01,700 Sorry, it's in the manual, I gotta do this. 57 00:03:01,900 --> 00:03:04,100 - This is horrifying! - No choice, pal. 58 00:03:04,135 --> 00:03:05,300 Part of the job. 59 00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:08,600 We do not abuse our surveillance privilege like that. 60 00:03:13,700 --> 00:03:14,600 Wimp. 61 00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:17,700 62 00:03:23,900 --> 00:03:27,265 Sync: ������� 63 00:03:27,300 --> 00:03:30,700 The Middleman Season 01 Ep 09 64 00:03:34,900 --> 00:03:37,700 absolutely not, I totally delivered the killing blow. 65 00:03:37,735 --> 00:03:40,500 If I hadn't shot that scud into its catamite behind, 66 00:03:40,535 --> 00:03:42,500 you'd still be at the controls and legless. 67 00:03:42,535 --> 00:03:44,200 I totally warmed him up for you. 68 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:46,600 Gut wrencher 2 on the emulator tonight? 69 00:03:46,700 --> 00:03:48,200 Like you have to ask. 70 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:54,000 bye. 71 00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:57,500 So things went well at the pancake house? 72 00:03:57,535 --> 00:04:00,000 They had a coin-op gut wrencher 1. 73 00:04:00,035 --> 00:04:01,065 Say no more. 74 00:04:01,100 --> 00:04:04,100 I just wish I wasn't having such a difficult time of this. 75 00:04:04,135 --> 00:04:06,400 Sex, waffles and videogames? 76 00:04:06,435 --> 00:04:07,300 What am I missing? 77 00:04:07,500 --> 00:04:08,700 Can you keep a secret? 78 00:04:08,900 --> 00:04:10,265 Have I told anyone about that thing 79 00:04:10,300 --> 00:04:12,900 with the blueberry pudding pops and the elliptical machine? 80 00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:15,000 It's my mutant power. 81 00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:17,400 Can you make fire with your mind? 82 00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:19,300 'Cause that would explain some things. 83 00:04:19,335 --> 00:04:19,900 No. 84 00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:24,200 Every time I'm in a relationship with someone, I can always see how it's gonna end. 85 00:04:24,235 --> 00:04:27,200 Oh, come on. That's japanese game show crazy. 86 00:04:27,235 --> 00:04:27,965 It's true. 87 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:31,600 We've roomed and now you tell me about your mutant ability? 88 00:04:31,700 --> 00:04:33,900 With great power comes great responsibility. 89 00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:35,200 What about ben? 90 00:04:35,500 --> 00:04:37,500 If you'd known that he would videotape your breakup 91 00:04:37,535 --> 00:04:38,717 and put it on the internet... 92 00:04:38,752 --> 00:04:39,900 I knew it would involve film. 93 00:04:40,700 --> 00:04:41,900 What about tyler? 94 00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:43,500 How's that gonna end? 95 00:04:43,535 --> 00:04:44,600 That's the problem. 96 00:04:45,100 --> 00:04:45,965 I don't know. 97 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:47,465 Not only do you have a mutant ability, 98 00:04:47,500 --> 00:04:50,000 you have a mutant ability that isn't even working. 99 00:04:50,035 --> 00:04:51,500 And it's freaking me out. 100 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,000 Over the years I've gotten used to knowing 101 00:04:54,035 --> 00:04:56,000 that my relationships were doomed and why 102 00:04:56,035 --> 00:04:57,500 and it's weirdly comforting. 103 00:04:57,535 --> 00:04:58,565 That makes no sense. 104 00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:01,900 But after three dates and a videogame carnage-inspired hookup, 105 00:05:02,100 --> 00:05:03,900 I still have no idea about tyler. 106 00:05:04,300 --> 00:05:05,600 I just don't know what to do. 107 00:05:05,900 --> 00:05:07,465 Proceed, you dolt. 108 00:05:07,500 --> 00:05:10,700 - I knew you wouldn't understand. - Oh, I understand... 109 00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:12,800 ...that you're groping for an emotional escape hatch 110 00:05:12,835 --> 00:05:15,200 because of what happened with ben and steve 111 00:05:15,235 --> 00:05:17,065 and rodney and tommy tam. 112 00:05:17,100 --> 00:05:19,300 Just keep this to yourself, ok? 113 00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:24,600 Hello, ladies. I need some caffeine action post-haste. 114 00:05:24,635 --> 00:05:26,500 Anvil drank all my coffee again. 115 00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:27,500 Hey, noser. 116 00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:30,150 Wendy thinks she has this ability that tells her 117 00:05:30,185 --> 00:05:32,100 when and how all her relationships are going to end. 118 00:05:32,135 --> 00:05:32,765 Lacey! 119 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:36,300 That just sounds to me like a coping mechanism to avoid intimacy. 120 00:05:36,335 --> 00:05:37,800 All right, that's enough. 121 00:05:38,700 --> 00:05:41,600 You've got to stop looking for the emotional rip-cord, dub-dub, 122 00:05:41,700 --> 00:05:45,200 or you're gonna find out that your parachute's really a backpack. 123 00:05:49,700 --> 00:05:50,900 What's that even mean? 124 00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:56,000 Uh, dubbie... Hey. 125 00:05:56,600 --> 00:05:59,500 - "Hey?" - yes, hey. Uh, 126 00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:02,065 there's something you and I need to discuss. 127 00:06:02,100 --> 00:06:06,400 It involves your middlewatch and the real time situation recording archive. 128 00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:09,300 Oh, that thing in my watch that records everything I... 129 00:06:09,335 --> 00:06:10,900 Oh, my god. 130 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:13,365 You saw me and tyler! 131 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:16,100 Dubbie, there is watching and there is seeing. 132 00:06:16,500 --> 00:06:19,500 And I did not watch, but I did see. 133 00:06:19,535 --> 00:06:20,965 It was a split second, really. 134 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:24,100 Of course, part of the training means I can memorize a crime scene 135 00:06:24,135 --> 00:06:25,200 with nothing more than a glance. 136 00:06:25,235 --> 00:06:26,165 Aw! Gross! 137 00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:27,965 There's something called code 86. 138 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,965 It's a protocol we have in place to shut down the recording 139 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:35,800 archive should a member of the organization require privacy of a personal nature. 140 00:06:35,835 --> 00:06:37,465 Why didn't you tell me before? 141 00:06:37,500 --> 00:06:39,100 I didn't think you'd need it this soon. 142 00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:43,600 Can we just talk about something else or solve a crime or something? 143 00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:44,900 You're in luck. 144 00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:48,300 Someone just melted a jewelry store downtown. 145 00:06:48,335 --> 00:06:49,000 Melted? 146 00:06:49,100 --> 00:06:50,200 Like butter. 147 00:06:50,300 --> 00:06:51,000 Let's go. 148 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:56,465 I'm Dr. Alexander scott. 149 00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:58,300 This is my associate, kelly robinson. 150 00:06:58,335 --> 00:06:59,500 We're with the pentagon. 151 00:06:59,700 --> 00:07:00,750 When will you have a name? 152 00:07:00,785 --> 00:07:01,765 I'm sorry, ma'am, a name? 153 00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:04,065 Of the man who came to my jewelry store, 154 00:07:04,100 --> 00:07:08,700 melted the back wall and stole seven figures in precious necklaces. 155 00:07:08,735 --> 00:07:10,100 All I need is a name. 156 00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:13,000 Are you former kgb, by any chance? 157 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:14,800 No. 158 00:07:16,700 --> 00:07:18,300 Can you describe the perpetrator? 159 00:07:19,300 --> 00:07:21,000 Looked like andy warhol. 160 00:07:21,300 --> 00:07:25,000 Long black overcoat, wayfarer sunglasses, 161 00:07:25,035 --> 00:07:28,700 thick red scarf and store-melting ray gun. 162 00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:33,200 You give us a name, we pay you handsomely. 163 00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:38,200 Are you sure you aren't former kgb? 164 00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:39,700 Positive. 165 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:43,900 What kind of wing-nut are we talking about? 166 00:07:43,935 --> 00:07:45,265 The kind who could kill millions, 167 00:07:45,300 --> 00:07:49,050 take down cities, countries and even puppy dogs and playgrounds 168 00:07:49,085 --> 00:07:52,800 and one whose mo seems strangely, uncannily familiar to me. 169 00:07:53,100 --> 00:07:55,300 Strangely, uncannily familiar? 170 00:07:55,900 --> 00:07:58,700 Dubbie, this calls for swift and decisive action. 171 00:07:59,700 --> 00:08:02,400 It's a good thing we're taking swift and decisive action. 172 00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:07,000 No really, this is a level of ass-kickery I've never experienced before. 173 00:08:07,035 --> 00:08:09,400 In the immortal words of bertolt brecht, 174 00:08:09,500 --> 00:08:12,800 "hungry man, reach for a book. It is a weapon!" 175 00:08:12,835 --> 00:08:14,100 brecht was a communist. 176 00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:17,300 Dubbie, you are looking at the middlelore. 177 00:08:17,500 --> 00:08:19,200 Every foe the middlemen have faced over the centuries 178 00:08:19,235 --> 00:08:21,000 is recorded and stored here. 179 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:24,900 Ah! Here's an oldie 180 00:08:25,100 --> 00:08:26,265 the domino. 181 00:08:26,300 --> 00:08:27,700 You had a cuban supervillain? 182 00:08:27,735 --> 00:08:28,700 Lithuanian. 183 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:32,300 Tried to create a domino effect to knock down all the buildings in the city. 184 00:08:32,335 --> 00:08:33,400 Check this guy out. 185 00:08:33,700 --> 00:08:35,200 The fabulous face. 186 00:08:35,300 --> 00:08:37,700 He tried to replace everyone in the white house with evil doubles. 187 00:08:37,735 --> 00:08:40,700 And he succeed, though no one seemed to notice at the time. 188 00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:46,000 And here's Dr. Solaris, who tried to taint the water supply with a boredom toxin. 189 00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:49,900 Which someone seems to have used on you. 190 00:08:49,935 --> 00:08:52,600 Can I run something personal by you? 191 00:08:52,635 --> 00:08:53,517 Of course, dubbie. 192 00:08:53,552 --> 00:08:54,400 You know tyler. 193 00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:56,165 The guy you and ida... 194 00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:57,900 The one you were supposed to be keeping an eye on 195 00:08:57,935 --> 00:09:01,300 but instead wound up having a code 86 with? 196 00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:04,500 Yes. He's so perfect in so many ways. 197 00:09:04,535 --> 00:09:07,600 And everything's going so great... 198 00:09:07,635 --> 00:09:09,300 Ah, limerence. 199 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,165 That's a funky name for a villain. 200 00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:13,700 That's the scientific term for romantic love. 201 00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:15,600 If you're in it, you'd better enjoy every bit of it 202 00:09:15,635 --> 00:09:16,900 because it doesn't last. 203 00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:21,200 I would be enjoying it, if it wasn't for my mutant ability. 204 00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:25,000 Your psychological tests would have shown us any extra-human... 205 00:09:25,035 --> 00:09:26,600 I don't mean anything like that. 206 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,600 I guess what I mean is, uh, intuition. 207 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:31,465 Every time I get into a relationship, 208 00:09:31,500 --> 00:09:33,900 I can always visualize how it's going to end. 209 00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:36,350 And with tyler, I can't. 210 00:09:36,385 --> 00:09:38,000 It's totally killing me. 211 00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:40,100 You have any idea what that's like? 212 00:09:40,300 --> 00:09:41,200 No. 213 00:09:41,300 --> 00:09:44,100 It sounds like something out of one of those hateful independent films. 214 00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:46,800 This is exactly why I stick to westerns. 215 00:09:47,100 --> 00:09:48,900 Why did I think you were gonna be any help? 216 00:09:48,935 --> 00:09:50,500 Dubbie, love is simple. 217 00:09:51,500 --> 00:09:52,965 You have it or you don't. 218 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:57,600 Everything else is either delusion or self-sabotage. 219 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,300 Fragments of moon rock! 220 00:10:04,300 --> 00:10:05,265 The candle. 221 00:10:05,300 --> 00:10:06,600 I knew the mo rang a bell. 222 00:10:06,635 --> 00:10:07,265 It has to be he. 223 00:10:07,300 --> 00:10:10,365 The candle, formerly professor lloyd cramden, ph. D, 224 00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:13,865 until he was driven mad by the death of his family in a freak ice rink meltdown 225 00:10:13,900 --> 00:10:17,600 and vowed to design a weapon that would subject the entire world to his private pain. 226 00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:19,300 Ida, I need you on the heydar. 227 00:10:19,335 --> 00:10:20,800 We think the candle has returned. 228 00:10:20,835 --> 00:10:21,700 The candle? 229 00:10:21,900 --> 00:10:23,600 Formerly professor lloyd cramden? 230 00:10:23,800 --> 00:10:25,665 Too late, toaster. We know the back story. 231 00:10:25,700 --> 00:10:30,600 We haven't seen hide nor hair from him since 1969. 232 00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:33,200 We have reason to believe he's returned. 233 00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:37,000 I need a cross-referenced list of news and information 234 00:10:37,035 --> 00:10:39,065 on data platforms relating to any developments 235 00:10:39,100 --> 00:10:42,600 that might pertain to the name, technologies or known associates of the candle. 236 00:10:42,635 --> 00:10:45,317 What's with the space age bachelor pad music? 237 00:10:45,352 --> 00:10:48,000 Ida, did you just disobey a direct order? 238 00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:51,700 Ida! What's happening? 239 00:10:54,500 --> 00:10:57,100 I guess this is as good a time as any to ask. 240 00:10:57,135 --> 00:10:58,800 Where's that door lead to? 241 00:10:59,500 --> 00:11:04,000 Among other things, the middleman's cryogenics vault. 242 00:11:04,700 --> 00:11:05,900 Cryogenics? 243 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,565 He ordered me to do this. 244 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:12,400 He told me to unfreeze him if the candle ever reared his ugly head again. 245 00:11:12,435 --> 00:11:13,300 who? 246 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:26,300 Wendy watson, boss, allow me to present, 247 00:11:26,700 --> 00:11:30,700 all the way from 1969... 248 00:11:31,700 --> 00:11:33,600 You can call me the middleman. 249 00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:42,065 Someone has exactly five seconds to tell me 250 00:11:42,100 --> 00:11:44,800 what's going on before I call the sexual harassment hotline. 251 00:11:45,500 --> 00:11:48,900 - How long have I been under? - Forty years. 252 00:11:49,700 --> 00:11:50,900 This is amazing. 253 00:11:51,300 --> 00:11:55,000 I always knew 02stk had the technology to cryogenically freeze middlemen... 254 00:11:55,035 --> 00:11:56,100 O2stk? 255 00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:59,000 Organization too secret to know. 256 00:11:59,100 --> 00:12:00,100 It's our little joke. 257 00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:01,600 Like you and I had. 258 00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:03,900 Wthwwf. 259 00:12:04,700 --> 00:12:06,065 Whoever the heck we work for? 260 00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:08,800 Whatever they're called, they can make us into middlesicles 261 00:12:08,835 --> 00:12:09,865 when they feel like it? 262 00:12:09,900 --> 00:12:11,250 I did this to myself, sticks. 263 00:12:11,285 --> 00:12:12,565 With the order that ida thawed me 264 00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:15,200 whenever my arch-nemesis, the candle, emerged from hiding. 265 00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:17,000 Wow. This is an honor. 266 00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:19,900 You must be the new model. 267 00:12:20,500 --> 00:12:21,400 Take that, would you? 268 00:12:21,900 --> 00:12:23,200 - Boss? - yes? 269 00:12:23,900 --> 00:12:26,100 Sorry. Old habit. 270 00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:30,200 Perhaps we should call our new friend by the year he was frozen. 271 00:12:31,100 --> 00:12:32,300 Sixty-nine. 272 00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:34,700 I have your uniform freshly pressed... 273 00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:35,850 ... And waiting for you. 274 00:12:35,885 --> 00:12:36,900 You're an angel, ida. 275 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:42,600 Well, like the man said, lead, follow, or get out of the way. 276 00:12:44,700 --> 00:12:46,165 I knew the candle faked his death. 277 00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:47,800 It was the only way he could shake my tail. 278 00:12:47,835 --> 00:12:49,565 Sheer elegance in its simplicity? 279 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:51,800 - Bad guys still saying that? - Like a broken record. 280 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:53,600 If the candle has come back, 281 00:12:53,900 --> 00:12:56,400 you can bet he's shopping around for a supply of balthorium-g, 282 00:12:56,435 --> 00:12:59,500 but he isn't counting on me, his original adversary. 283 00:12:59,535 --> 00:13:02,400 Still young and burning for the fight. 284 00:13:02,435 --> 00:13:03,900 What's balthorium-g? 285 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:07,300 Balthorium-g is the fuel he uses to power his melting ray. 286 00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:09,700 - Aw, phooey. - Phooey? What is that? 287 00:13:09,735 --> 00:13:11,000 It's a polite way of saying. 288 00:13:11,900 --> 00:13:13,100 Oh. Since when are we polite? 289 00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:17,200 Ah. My old uniform. 290 00:13:17,500 --> 00:13:20,200 I've always said the clothes make the man. 291 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:22,100 Or woman. 292 00:13:22,700 --> 00:13:24,400 He's looking at me all pervy, isn't he? 293 00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:25,800 Of course not. 294 00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:27,300 I can feel it. 295 00:13:27,335 --> 00:13:28,400 Actually, I am. 296 00:13:28,700 --> 00:13:30,465 I bet you've got spectacular stems. 297 00:13:30,500 --> 00:13:32,700 I'm wondering why you don't show them off. 298 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:34,600 We should discuss strategy. 299 00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:35,900 Three steps ahead. 300 00:13:36,300 --> 00:13:39,200 We take out an ad in thethrifty nickel under the name "harry lime. " 301 00:13:39,700 --> 00:13:42,000 when the candle reads that I'v egot balthorium-g for sale, 302 00:13:42,035 --> 00:13:43,600 he'll have no choice but to answer. 303 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:46,800 You think an elite super-villain reads thethrifty nickel? 304 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:48,800 The supermarket classified newsletter? 305 00:13:48,835 --> 00:13:50,565 You fear men won't take you seriously, 306 00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:53,300 that's why you hide that shapely body under that muu-muu. 307 00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:56,000 I hide my ass-kicking, sensei ping trained body 308 00:13:56,035 --> 00:13:57,800 because this is the required uniform. 309 00:13:57,900 --> 00:13:59,800 Is that what you told her? 310 00:14:00,500 --> 00:14:05,400 What kind of nancy boy makes a hot, spicy spanish girl hide her stuff in a sack? 311 00:14:05,435 --> 00:14:06,917 I can pick my own uniform? 312 00:14:06,952 --> 00:14:08,365 You bet your sweet brioni. 313 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:10,500 It's too early to rule out a copycat. 314 00:14:10,700 --> 00:14:11,965 This might not be the candle. 315 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:14,400 I'll have ida run a scan for the balthorium-g. 316 00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:18,700 The candle always talked to his fences in code through thethrifty nickel. 317 00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:21,500 A lot of things are different now. 318 00:14:21,900 --> 00:14:24,400 Please. I'm not some comical throwback to the summer of love. 319 00:14:24,435 --> 00:14:25,665 I know my way around. 320 00:14:25,700 --> 00:14:28,200 All sorts of new technologies that you may not be... 321 00:14:28,500 --> 00:14:30,500 Like what, the heydar? I had one. 322 00:14:30,700 --> 00:14:33,200 - Well, the internet, e- mail... - Had it! 323 00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:36,800 - Cell phones? - Had to retire them. Brain cancer thing. 324 00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:41,400 Trust me, nellie, old cats never change their stripes. 325 00:14:41,435 --> 00:14:43,000 It's gonna be thethrifty nickel. 326 00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:44,800 I don't have to wear this coat? 327 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:46,500 You can wear whatever you like, schatzi... 328 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:48,500 - Fresh. - Thank you. 329 00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:52,100 Ida, how is it that I've been frozen for 40 years, 330 00:14:52,135 --> 00:14:53,500 but you haven't aged a day? 331 00:14:53,700 --> 00:14:55,665 Oh, stop, ya old flirt. 332 00:14:55,700 --> 00:14:57,300 - Ida, get on the heydar. - Ida, get on the horn to... 333 00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:01,100 Sorry. He was my boss first. 334 00:15:01,700 --> 00:15:03,900 So, what's it gonna be, hot stuff? 335 00:15:04,100 --> 00:15:05,700 The thrifty nickel. 336 00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:08,300 Oh, and I'm gonna need a bottle of hai karate, as well. 337 00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:13,000 there can be only one middleman. 338 00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:14,865 You may want to make yourself scarce. 339 00:15:14,900 --> 00:15:18,500 The lions have some pride business to work out among themselves. 340 00:15:21,100 --> 00:15:22,900 I can pick my own uniform? 341 00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:29,300 Tyler? 342 00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:31,400 Hey. Lacey let me in. 343 00:15:31,435 --> 00:15:32,065 But don't worry. 344 00:15:32,100 --> 00:15:34,600 I only spent the first ten minutes rifling through your underwear drawer. 345 00:15:35,500 --> 00:15:37,100 And now I'm testing your oven. 346 00:15:37,300 --> 00:15:37,965 We have an oven? 347 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:40,300 It's the metal box where you store the extra paint. 348 00:15:41,100 --> 00:15:44,800 I thought you'd appreciate coming home to an anchovy pizza with a side of ranch. 349 00:15:44,835 --> 00:15:45,900 That's my favorite. 350 00:15:46,100 --> 00:15:49,800 You mentioned it during the story about your botchedquinceañera. 351 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:53,000 Of course, I didn't expect you home so soon. 352 00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:58,100 Am I the only one getting the awkward vibe? 353 00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:02,265 No, there's an awkward vibe. 354 00:16:02,300 --> 00:16:05,400 Hey, look, sex is one thing, but cooking...? 355 00:16:05,435 --> 00:16:07,817 If it's too soon, I get it. 356 00:16:07,852 --> 00:16:10,200 No, that's not what I mean. 357 00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:14,400 - I just... - Oh, no. You know about me. 358 00:16:14,500 --> 00:16:17,000 You read it on the web or heard it at one of the clubs. 359 00:16:17,035 --> 00:16:19,200 Just come out and say it, dreams of monica. 360 00:16:19,235 --> 00:16:20,400 Dreams of monica? 361 00:16:20,500 --> 00:16:23,600 The neo-hippy jam band hit? 362 00:16:23,700 --> 00:16:24,865 The number one song? 363 00:16:24,900 --> 00:16:26,200 That's not what this is about? 364 00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:27,600 I assumed you googled me. 365 00:16:27,635 --> 00:16:28,265 No, I didn't. 366 00:16:28,300 --> 00:16:29,500 But I'm totally gonna. 367 00:16:29,700 --> 00:16:30,700 Oh, brother. 368 00:16:30,735 --> 00:16:31,500 Uh... 369 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:37,400 I was the lead guitarist in casanova charlie. 370 00:16:37,435 --> 00:16:38,400 Awesome. 371 00:16:39,300 --> 00:16:41,065 Wait. Shouldn't you be richer? 372 00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:43,900 And less groomed. And on valtrex. Should i? 373 00:16:43,935 --> 00:16:45,665 I should be lots of things. 374 00:16:45,700 --> 00:16:48,165 But I left the band after monica, 375 00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:51,000 my monogamous and herpie-free girlfriend, 376 00:16:51,035 --> 00:16:52,000 and I broke up. 377 00:16:52,900 --> 00:16:54,700 "i only have dreams of monica 378 00:16:54,900 --> 00:16:57,900 she's the night I long for she's the light I see 379 00:16:58,400 --> 00:16:59,500 i'm working on a second verse. 380 00:17:00,900 --> 00:17:04,600 monica left me for that d-bag bass player 381 00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:08,500 and I walked away from the band before they hit it big 382 00:17:08,535 --> 00:17:09,765 - it's catchy. - Yeah. 383 00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:12,400 Whoever I go out with, they eventually find out 384 00:17:12,435 --> 00:17:15,000 and I just become tyler the not-a-rock-star, 385 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:17,100 and when the novelty wears off, 386 00:17:17,135 --> 00:17:18,600 I'm just tyler, 387 00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:21,900 the-martyr who-gave-it-all-up- To-take-the-moral-high-road. 388 00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:23,500 You know what? 389 00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:25,600 The more I get to know you, 390 00:17:25,900 --> 00:17:27,600 the less I want to know how it ends. 391 00:17:28,300 --> 00:17:29,400 What does that mean? 392 00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:38,900 I don't see anything in the middlelore that explains 393 00:17:38,935 --> 00:17:41,400 how the candle went about acquiring his balthorium-g. 394 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:44,800 - Jaguar. - Like the feral cat? 395 00:17:44,900 --> 00:17:49,200 The brazilian fashion model I was "entertaing" instead of updating the middlelore. 396 00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:51,700 The candle will come to us. Relax. 397 00:17:51,735 --> 00:17:53,300 I got your hai karate 398 00:17:53,700 --> 00:17:56,665 and a fifth of fleming's commander jamaica rum. 399 00:17:56,700 --> 00:18:00,700 Ida, please run the search I've been requesting for the past two hours. 400 00:18:00,735 --> 00:18:03,000 Right after you mix me up a cuba libre. 401 00:18:03,700 --> 00:18:05,365 Fine. I'll do it myself. 402 00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:09,900 If only to prove no evil was ever thwarted by lounging on a pelt and sipping moonshine. 403 00:18:18,300 --> 00:18:19,100 Talk to me. 404 00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:22,400 Why, yes, this is harry lime, 405 00:18:23,700 --> 00:18:26,300 and I am looking to unload some balthorium-g. 406 00:18:26,700 --> 00:18:28,300 Don't be stingy on the sauce, ida. 407 00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:35,100 You don't really think the candle's gonna fall for this lame sting, do you? 408 00:18:35,135 --> 00:18:37,217 A stakeout can be a valuable bonding exercise 409 00:18:37,252 --> 00:18:39,300 and this is an excellent opportunity to... 410 00:18:39,700 --> 00:18:40,865 Fire and brimstone! 411 00:18:40,900 --> 00:18:42,865 We do not smoke in the middlemobile. 412 00:18:42,900 --> 00:18:45,365 Why not? Is there something combustible in here? 413 00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:49,100 Only my temper when I see a man willingly invite cancer into his body. 414 00:18:49,135 --> 00:18:50,200 Cancer? 415 00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:53,200 Everyone knows the surgeon general is a red dupe. 416 00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:56,200 I bet wendy would enjoy a cigarette. 417 00:18:56,500 --> 00:18:58,400 She's a girl who knows how to get crazy. 418 00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:01,565 Oh, did you have another code 86? 419 00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:04,450 It ain't a code 86 if you don't activate the protocol. 420 00:19:04,485 --> 00:19:07,300 This was more like a hot night at the boom-boom burlesque. 421 00:19:07,335 --> 00:19:10,100 - Oh, lord! - Don't be square, baby. 422 00:19:10,500 --> 00:19:14,100 Studies show women have a boost in intelligence after the physical act of love. 423 00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:17,000 What this group needs are stakeout treats. 424 00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:19,600 Pick me up some jelly babies while you're out there, hazel. 425 00:19:20,700 --> 00:19:24,100 So, who is the lucky stallion? 426 00:19:24,300 --> 00:19:26,500 The only guy I'm thinking about is the candle. 427 00:19:26,535 --> 00:19:27,900 He's not here yet. 428 00:19:28,700 --> 00:19:30,500 - You don't know that. - Oh, yes I do. 429 00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:31,700 I can sense him. 430 00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:33,800 An arch-nemesis isn't just an adversary. 431 00:19:33,835 --> 00:19:36,100 He's the ying to your yang. 432 00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:37,365 Yes, that's buddhism, sweet pea. 433 00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:39,900 And I've learned to anticipate his every ying. 434 00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:43,400 I can tell your boss isn't really the type to have these sorts of chats with you, 435 00:19:43,435 --> 00:19:45,800 bu I'm just gonna lay it down straight. 436 00:19:46,300 --> 00:19:48,800 Have all the fun you want with your guy 437 00:19:48,835 --> 00:19:51,265 but cast him aside before you fall in love. 438 00:19:51,300 --> 00:19:54,100 - You don't believe in love? - Of course I believe in love. 439 00:19:54,135 --> 00:19:56,100 That's what we fight for. So the world can love. 440 00:19:56,135 --> 00:19:58,600 Unfortunately, we're not the world. 441 00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:01,900 I've seen it before. 442 00:20:02,500 --> 00:20:04,565 Everyone starts this job the same way. 443 00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:06,400 Wide-eyed idealists thinking they can have it all. 444 00:20:06,435 --> 00:20:08,100 Save the day and get the girl. 445 00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:11,200 But it always ends the same way. 446 00:20:11,700 --> 00:20:13,000 How does it always end? 447 00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:19,100 With the love of your life eviscerated by some super-genius in a cape and a body sock. 448 00:20:19,500 --> 00:20:20,600 That happened to you? 449 00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:23,800 That's how it ended with my first wife. 450 00:20:23,835 --> 00:20:26,500 And the third and fourth. 451 00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:28,900 What about the second? 452 00:20:29,900 --> 00:20:32,800 She left me for a super-villain. 453 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,400 - That sucks. - Yeah. 454 00:20:36,100 --> 00:20:38,165 You sweat the satin, share some laughs, 455 00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:42,500 then she gets her face melted off by some ray gun wielding beatnik. 456 00:20:44,500 --> 00:20:45,600 The candle! 457 00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:51,900 I'm gonna ask you one question. 458 00:20:51,935 --> 00:20:53,600 You have three chances to answer. 459 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:55,200 Where is the candle? 460 00:20:55,500 --> 00:20:58,065 I told you. The candle's dead. 461 00:20:58,100 --> 00:20:59,600 That's one. Here's your second shot. 462 00:20:59,635 --> 00:21:00,565 Where is the candle? 463 00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:03,300 There's, like, a hundred people who can verify it. 464 00:21:03,335 --> 00:21:06,000 His funeral was packed with friends and family. 465 00:21:06,035 --> 00:21:08,000 His granddaughter read a poem she wrote. 466 00:21:08,035 --> 00:21:09,965 Ask her. Or his priest. 467 00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:11,565 A super-villain with a priest? 468 00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:13,365 To me he was just kindly Mr. Mccandle, 469 00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:15,600 the cardigan-wearing old guy from the neighborhood. 470 00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:18,000 My dad died when I was little. 471 00:21:18,035 --> 00:21:19,000 The candle killed him? 472 00:21:19,500 --> 00:21:21,900 No. Cancer. He was a smoker. 473 00:21:22,500 --> 00:21:24,000 Mom need help around the house, 474 00:21:24,035 --> 00:21:25,965 and he was really handy. 475 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:28,000 Sometimes while he was fixing the garbage disposal 476 00:21:28,035 --> 00:21:29,865 or whatever he'd tell me stories 477 00:21:29,900 --> 00:21:32,200 about how he was a super-villain before he found jesus. 478 00:21:32,300 --> 00:21:33,200 I thought he was kidding. 479 00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:34,900 But this weird thing happened. 480 00:21:34,935 --> 00:21:36,000 He melted your house? 481 00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:38,200 He gave me a letter. 482 00:21:38,500 --> 00:21:40,400 He told me not to read it until he was dead. 483 00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:41,865 After the funeral, I read it, 484 00:21:41,900 --> 00:21:44,365 and he told me how I could find his melting ray, 485 00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:46,900 and how to use thethrifty nickel to find balthorium-g. 486 00:21:46,935 --> 00:21:48,917 He wanted you to continue his work? 487 00:21:48,952 --> 00:21:50,865 Wanted me to donate it to science, 488 00:21:50,900 --> 00:21:52,465 see if they could find out how to use it for good. 489 00:21:52,500 --> 00:21:56,300 Come on, a guy leaves you a melting ray, you're not gonna steal some things? 490 00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:57,365 The whole thing is just... 491 00:21:57,400 --> 00:21:59,700 Sheer elegance in its simplicity. 492 00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:06,100 Listen up, you damned, dirty hippie. 493 00:22:06,135 --> 00:22:08,100 This is your last chance. 494 00:22:08,135 --> 00:22:09,100 Put him down! 495 00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:12,600 I'll put him down, all right! 496 00:22:18,500 --> 00:22:19,665 What the hell is that? 497 00:22:19,700 --> 00:22:22,700 The thing that's gonna bash in your commie flower-child head 498 00:22:22,735 --> 00:22:24,300 if you don't tell me where the candle is! 499 00:22:24,335 --> 00:22:26,300 - Like I said, he's dead. - Liar! 500 00:22:26,335 --> 00:22:27,300 Enough. 501 00:22:27,500 --> 00:22:28,300 No. 502 00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:31,500 He sings or he picks up his own teeth with broken fingers. 503 00:22:31,535 --> 00:22:33,000 We need to speak outside. 504 00:22:33,300 --> 00:22:35,500 Don't you know how to conduct an interrogation? 505 00:22:35,535 --> 00:22:37,100 Who you save the world from? Kittens? 506 00:22:37,135 --> 00:22:37,665 It's over. 507 00:22:37,700 --> 00:22:40,200 He's lying but you're too much of a little girl to see it! 508 00:22:40,235 --> 00:22:42,600 You served this organization with pride and honor. 509 00:22:42,635 --> 00:22:44,000 And I thank you for your service. 510 00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:45,465 What is that? 511 00:22:45,500 --> 00:22:47,100 The chance to retire with dignity. 512 00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:48,065 Step aside. 513 00:22:48,100 --> 00:22:49,065 You're out of line. 514 00:22:49,100 --> 00:22:50,365 Middleman only uses violence... 515 00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:52,400 When the fate of the world is at stake. Yeah! 516 00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:57,200 You got the first one for free. 517 00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:01,600 Sorry, sugar buns. 518 00:23:01,900 --> 00:23:04,700 There can only be one middleman and he's it. 519 00:23:12,100 --> 00:23:15,300 This middleman, this sword of the people, 520 00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:18,400 rest in the fond sheath of retirement... 521 00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:22,500 Sharp as the justice he did once and will forever champion. 522 00:23:23,700 --> 00:23:29,100 Pugnantes malos ne hos pugnetis 523 00:23:29,700 --> 00:23:32,600 and now, a passage from my poem, the unbroken chain. 524 00:23:32,635 --> 00:23:34,000 Why don't we just skip it? 525 00:23:34,900 --> 00:23:35,700 Very well. 526 00:23:36,300 --> 00:23:38,200 We'll proceed with the watch presentation. 527 00:23:38,235 --> 00:23:39,200 Interrodroid? 528 00:23:42,700 --> 00:23:44,100 Take it in, honey. 529 00:23:44,900 --> 00:23:48,000 This too can someday be all yours. 530 00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:51,800 Our issues aside, a middleman who makes it to retirement 531 00:23:51,835 --> 00:23:53,200 is breathing rarefied air. 532 00:23:53,235 --> 00:23:54,100 I admire you. 533 00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:00,600 You entered a middleman, you leave a civilian. 534 00:24:00,900 --> 00:24:02,900 For the record, please state your name. 535 00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:07,400 My name is guy goddard. 536 00:24:07,500 --> 00:24:08,800 Choke on it. 537 00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:13,300 Hello, lacey. 538 00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:19,700 Hi... Strange but alluring man with broad shoulders 539 00:24:19,735 --> 00:24:21,600 who inexplicably knows my name. 540 00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:22,865 Can I help you? 541 00:24:22,900 --> 00:24:25,400 Why, yes. You can help by offering the name of the scent 542 00:24:25,435 --> 00:24:27,900 gracing that milky white skin of yours. 543 00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:32,100 Turpentine, papier mché, fake blood and hot glue. 544 00:24:32,300 --> 00:24:33,800 I'll just call it heaven. 545 00:24:34,700 --> 00:24:35,700 Guy goddard. 546 00:24:36,300 --> 00:24:37,900 My friends call me "god. " 547 00:24:38,900 --> 00:24:40,200 lacey thornfield. 548 00:24:40,300 --> 00:24:44,000 But, yet, you already inexplicably know that. 549 00:24:44,035 --> 00:24:45,200 Not so inexplicable. 550 00:24:45,700 --> 00:24:46,900 I work with your roommate. 551 00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:50,200 Guy? What are you doing here? 552 00:24:50,300 --> 00:24:53,000 At present, i'm looking for some hooch. 553 00:24:53,035 --> 00:24:53,665 Hey! 554 00:24:53,700 --> 00:24:55,200 You stay away from my roommate. 555 00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:57,700 I meant a drink. 556 00:24:57,735 --> 00:24:58,500 Oh. 557 00:25:11,500 --> 00:25:13,500 Fatboy's farm apple wine. 558 00:25:13,900 --> 00:25:14,800 Swanky. 559 00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:16,600 To snuffing out the candle. 560 00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:20,100 Guy. You gotta give it up. 561 00:25:20,135 --> 00:25:20,900 Really? 562 00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:24,400 Because after that sham ceremony, I hit the whisper stream hard. 563 00:25:24,435 --> 00:25:26,165 I got results, and I got a plan. 564 00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:28,900 Does your plan involve realizing that the candle's dead? 565 00:25:29,900 --> 00:25:32,865 Think I'm gonna spend the rest of my days like an unfrozen caveman, 566 00:25:32,900 --> 00:25:37,400 marvelling at your brave new world of drive-through coffee and online porn? 567 00:25:38,100 --> 00:25:40,200 This situation stinks, dollface. 568 00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:43,800 A million dollars in jewels were taken and that kid can't account for them. 569 00:25:43,835 --> 00:25:45,365 He said he gave them to a fence. 570 00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:48,300 Sure he did, but pour this into your jigger. 571 00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:51,000 There's a huge amount of money floating out there. 572 00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:53,500 Now add a splash of this. 573 00:25:53,900 --> 00:25:56,665 Lord jeremiah purcell, the eurotrash arms merchant, 574 00:25:56,700 --> 00:26:00,400 just brought 4,000 angstroms of balthorium-g into the country. 575 00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:03,100 Finally, add this pickled onion. 576 00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:06,800 It takes one angstrom to wipe out an entire city. 577 00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:08,965 The perfect gimlet of melt-ageddon. 578 00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:11,965 Not if we sneak into lord jeremiah purcell's vault 579 00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:15,300 and place a tracker in the vessel holding the balthorium-g. 580 00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:18,400 If I'm right, we catch the candle red-handed. 581 00:26:18,435 --> 00:26:20,800 I'm wrong, and the candle is dead, 582 00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:22,300 no one will be the wiser. 583 00:26:22,335 --> 00:26:24,165 Maybe you are right, 584 00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:26,100 but I can't just go behind the middleman's back. 585 00:26:26,135 --> 00:26:27,917 Your boss thinks i'm a loose cannon. 586 00:26:27,952 --> 00:26:29,700 He won't believe a word I have to say. 587 00:26:30,100 --> 00:26:31,165 And while he dithers, 588 00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:36,100 4,000 city-melting angstroms of balthorium-g are going to be out there in the open. 589 00:26:37,500 --> 00:26:43,300 Wendy, being a middleman in traing is about more than just replacing us should we die. 590 00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:48,000 It's keeping us honest, making us see the other angle. 591 00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:56,100 How do we sneak in? 592 00:26:57,000 --> 00:27:02,500 Tonight, lord jeremiah purcell is hosting a nefarious bunch of scoundrels 593 00:27:02,535 --> 00:27:04,800 and ne'er-do-wells for a game of cards. 594 00:27:04,835 --> 00:27:07,000 Cards? Great. I'm in. 595 00:27:07,035 --> 00:27:08,000 Not so fast. 596 00:27:08,900 --> 00:27:10,600 Have you ever played shibumi? 597 00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:13,300 It's a wicked, soulless game. 598 00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:16,800 Each player is dealt a full deck of cards. 599 00:27:16,835 --> 00:27:19,065 Every card has its own name. 600 00:27:19,100 --> 00:27:24,065 There's 589 unique physical and verbal challenges to every hand 601 00:27:24,100 --> 00:27:28,250 and if anyone shows the slightest ignorance of the game's byzantine rules, 602 00:27:28,285 --> 00:27:32,400 they are decapitated by lord jeremiah purcell's manservant, the speechless, 603 00:27:32,435 --> 00:27:34,400 thoughtless brute, govinda. 604 00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:38,400 I killed an 86th level bloodlust catamite on gut wrencher 1. 605 00:27:38,700 --> 00:27:40,800 I think I can handle your little card game. 606 00:27:42,200 --> 00:27:42,900 Deal. 607 00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:47,700 Now, you're gonna have to learn two things in the next 15 minutes, 608 00:27:47,900 --> 00:27:52,500 how to play shibumi and how to dress like a real woman. 609 00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:02,365 This is how a real woman dresses? 610 00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:04,200 I don't make the rules, twiggy, I'm just... 611 00:28:04,235 --> 00:28:05,200 The middleman. 612 00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:13,000 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to our game. 613 00:28:13,300 --> 00:28:15,300 I'd like to introduce our newest player, 614 00:28:15,700 --> 00:28:18,000 the american gambler harry rule 615 00:28:18,300 --> 00:28:22,400 and his dissolute lover, the contessa caroline di contini. 616 00:28:22,700 --> 00:28:26,900 ??? anatol gogol, also known as the monocle, 617 00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:31,100 count manzeppi, the scot, 618 00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:35,400 and, of course, the icy vilma schnipp. 619 00:28:36,500 --> 00:28:39,200 I, lord jeremiah purcell, will call the game, 620 00:28:40,100 --> 00:28:42,300 and as always my manservant, 621 00:28:42,500 --> 00:28:46,965 the speechless, thoughtless brute govinda will keep the players honest. 622 00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:51,500 Mr. Rule, every player has brought a rare and priceless artifact as their stake. 623 00:28:51,535 --> 00:28:53,700 What have you brought to our table? 624 00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:57,700 The missing 18 and a half minutes. 625 00:29:01,100 --> 00:29:03,000 Weren't you a popsicle in '72? 626 00:29:03,035 --> 00:29:04,165 Time travel. 627 00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:06,800 I spent five days in the 70's back in '66. 628 00:29:06,835 --> 00:29:09,600 Dealers! The cards! 629 00:29:39,700 --> 00:29:41,000 Your play, Mr. Rule. 630 00:29:41,035 --> 00:29:41,765 No pressure. 631 00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:45,800 the official schematics for the lunar landing soundstage. 632 00:29:52,900 --> 00:29:53,800 Read 'em and weep. 633 00:29:54,300 --> 00:29:56,300 Fifty-two of a kind! 634 00:30:00,300 --> 00:30:02,800 If you'll excuse me, i'll run off to the little boys' room 635 00:30:02,835 --> 00:30:04,600 and the lady will take over my hand. 636 00:30:09,700 --> 00:30:11,700 Welcome to the game, countess. 637 00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:32,000 Tuts beat slims, cats beat tuts. 638 00:30:34,700 --> 00:30:35,700 Double rainbow. 639 00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:37,400 Brava. 640 00:30:47,700 --> 00:30:49,500 Two mannequins. 641 00:30:50,900 --> 00:30:52,800 Three mannequins. 642 00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:55,700 Four mannequins? 643 00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:01,300 No mannequins. 644 00:31:01,335 --> 00:31:02,600 No way, no how. 645 00:31:03,500 --> 00:31:05,000 She's called your bluff, miss schnipp, 646 00:31:05,035 --> 00:31:08,000 and that means a siege! 647 00:31:22,700 --> 00:31:25,000 Anatol gogol takes the siege. 648 00:31:26,300 --> 00:31:27,600 A glue stick? 649 00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:29,200 A cheat among us! 650 00:31:29,235 --> 00:31:30,400 Govinda! Now! 651 00:31:32,700 --> 00:31:34,000 No one dies on my watch. 652 00:31:34,035 --> 00:31:34,900 Seize her! 653 00:31:37,500 --> 00:31:39,400 Dubbie, duck! 654 00:31:44,900 --> 00:31:46,600 - Thanks. - Don't mention it. 655 00:31:46,900 --> 00:31:49,700 - How did you know... - Been watching out for you all along. 656 00:31:50,100 --> 00:31:51,165 I'd be a cruddy middleman 657 00:31:51,200 --> 00:31:54,100 if I didn't assume guy would come at you with some proposal. 658 00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:56,200 Guys like guy, they never quit. 659 00:31:56,700 --> 00:31:57,600 Now, where is he? 660 00:32:01,500 --> 00:32:03,400 Ripley's believe it or not! 661 00:32:03,700 --> 00:32:04,800 guy! 662 00:32:05,500 --> 00:32:06,865 He melted my hand. 663 00:32:06,900 --> 00:32:09,300 The candle? He really is alive? 664 00:32:09,900 --> 00:32:11,900 - And the balthorium-g? - Oh, he took it all. 665 00:32:13,500 --> 00:32:16,500 Four thousand angstroms before I could put the tracer in. 666 00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:20,900 Yeah, he, uh, said he was gonna melt the moon. 667 00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:22,600 Oh, phooey. 668 00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:25,300 Yeah. Phooey. 669 00:32:26,500 --> 00:32:28,300 Hold still, E woobie. 670 00:32:30,300 --> 00:32:31,965 Pan down the puppy dog eyes, ida. 671 00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:35,200 This isn't the hand that rocks the cradle, if you know what I mean. 672 00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:37,365 Don't get fresh with me, pony boy, 673 00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:39,700 I might actually have to take you up on something. 674 00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:42,100 Guy. I owe you an apology. 675 00:32:42,500 --> 00:32:43,465 I take back what I said. 676 00:32:43,500 --> 00:32:45,600 I wish I could take back what happened. 677 00:32:45,635 --> 00:32:47,200 We're soldiers. We knew the risks. 678 00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:50,200 I should have known that being a middleman isn't something you turn off. 679 00:32:50,600 --> 00:32:52,700 Don't let's start liplocking just yet. 680 00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:57,000 People. Me losing a meathook 'cause I couldn't stop scratching the itch is a drag, 681 00:32:57,035 --> 00:32:59,600 so let's talk about something more interesting. 682 00:32:59,900 --> 00:33:01,165 The candle is out there, 683 00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:04,200 and I know exactly where he's taking that balthorium-g. 684 00:33:04,300 --> 00:33:05,165 Snake island. 685 00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:07,000 What is that, near dead man's bluff? 686 00:33:07,035 --> 00:33:08,300 Right below the devil's throat. 687 00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:10,300 I'm glad to see you've done your homework. 688 00:33:10,500 --> 00:33:12,065 I was just being snarky. 689 00:33:12,100 --> 00:33:14,400 October of '69, right before the candle vanished, 690 00:33:14,435 --> 00:33:15,100 rumor had it 691 00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:17,565 he was building the world's largest melting ray. 692 00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:21,600 I'm betting aardvarks-to-asses that he's loading up that moon-melting weapon 693 00:33:21,635 --> 00:33:24,065 with the 4,000 angstroms of balthorium-g 694 00:33:24,100 --> 00:33:26,800 from lord jeremiah purcell's nefarious mansion. 695 00:33:26,835 --> 00:33:28,400 Not if we destroy that melting ray. 696 00:33:28,500 --> 00:33:29,100 ida? 697 00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:31,265 Use the heydar to scan the pacific ocean 698 00:33:31,300 --> 00:33:33,700 and look for snake island, alleged home of the candle. 699 00:33:34,700 --> 00:33:35,800 Roger that. 700 00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:39,100 Guys, I hate to rain on anyone's parade, 701 00:33:39,135 --> 00:33:41,165 but the middlejet only has room for one, 702 00:33:41,200 --> 00:33:44,100 so am I on secret island lair strafing duty or what? 703 00:33:45,300 --> 00:33:48,200 Chickie baby's never been to a supervillain island lair has she? 704 00:33:48,500 --> 00:33:51,300 Sweetie, when a bad man builds a home for his world-destroying ray, 705 00:33:51,335 --> 00:33:52,265 the first things he buys... 706 00:33:52,300 --> 00:33:53,700 Automated missile defense package. 707 00:33:53,735 --> 00:33:54,500 Barrier mines. 708 00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:58,000 Android guards to protect the island after the supervillain has died. 709 00:33:58,035 --> 00:33:59,717 And a lot of scandinavian furniture. 710 00:33:59,752 --> 00:34:01,400 How do we get to the candle's lair? 711 00:34:01,700 --> 00:34:03,100 Maybe scotty can beam us down. 712 00:34:04,200 --> 00:34:06,800 It's an obscure reference to a canceled television show. 713 00:34:06,835 --> 00:34:08,000 I'm sure you've never heard of it. 714 00:34:08,200 --> 00:34:09,600 Actually, I do have a plan. 715 00:34:09,635 --> 00:34:10,965 The dsv-4600 middlesub. 716 00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:14,200 The 4600. We haven't really used that in quite a while. 717 00:34:14,235 --> 00:34:15,800 Better take it out of mothballs. 718 00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:18,900 Only its asbestos will deflect the island's defense system. 719 00:34:18,935 --> 00:34:19,365 Right. 720 00:34:19,400 --> 00:34:20,400 Then it's settled. 721 00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:22,500 We're off to snake island. 722 00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:24,600 In the cancer sub? 723 00:34:29,600 --> 00:34:31,365 - Hey. - Hey, tyler. 724 00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:33,200 I'm about to knock on your door. 725 00:34:35,300 --> 00:34:35,865 Can you hear that? 726 00:34:35,900 --> 00:34:39,200 Oh man, now I feel even worse than before. 727 00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:41,000 You're not home, are you? 728 00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:42,900 I'm so sorry. 729 00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:47,000 And the tone of your "i'm sorry" leads me to believe you're not gonna be here any time soon. 730 00:34:47,300 --> 00:34:48,365 Noser has a key. 731 00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:52,100 You could let yourself in and cook me another meal and leave it in the fridge. 732 00:34:52,135 --> 00:34:55,600 Don't tempt me. My gazpacho refrigerates like a snow-nado. 733 00:34:55,635 --> 00:34:57,900 - A tornado made of snow? - You know it. 734 00:34:57,935 --> 00:34:59,065 Why are you being so cool? 735 00:34:59,100 --> 00:35:02,400 Because I love that you have a job you love and are good at. 736 00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:05,100 You do what you have to do and when you get back, 737 00:35:05,135 --> 00:35:06,100 i'll still be around. 738 00:35:06,135 --> 00:35:06,767 Really? 739 00:35:06,802 --> 00:35:07,365 Wendy. 740 00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:10,100 Maybe tomorrow you'll leave me for some d-bag bass player 741 00:35:10,135 --> 00:35:12,565 or maybe we'll wake up 70 years from now 742 00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:15,200 on the front porch of some florida old folks community 743 00:35:15,235 --> 00:35:16,400 rubbing vicks on each other. 744 00:35:16,435 --> 00:35:17,165 Tempting! 745 00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:18,900 What I'm saying is, i'm in this, 746 00:35:18,935 --> 00:35:20,565 and I'd be a pretty cruddy guy 747 00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:23,000 if all it took to get me out of it was a late night at work. 748 00:35:23,035 --> 00:35:24,900 - I'll talk to you soon. - Later. 749 00:35:32,100 --> 00:35:34,900 Don't worry, I'll get you back home in one piece. 750 00:35:36,700 --> 00:35:40,400 Must be difficult for you, having original recipe around, taking control. 751 00:35:40,900 --> 00:35:42,400 He's hardly original anything. 752 00:35:42,700 --> 00:35:44,700 He's one in a long line. As am i. 753 00:35:44,735 --> 00:35:45,500 Doing our job. 754 00:35:45,900 --> 00:35:48,900 Our job means he's wearing a hook the rest of his life. 755 00:35:50,100 --> 00:35:52,900 Why does he do it? Why do you? 756 00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:57,050 Seriously. You can't retire happily, you can't love... 757 00:35:57,085 --> 00:36:00,100 Can't love? Halls of montezuma, dubbie! Who told you that? 758 00:36:00,135 --> 00:36:00,865 He did. 759 00:36:00,900 --> 00:36:02,400 And you took his word for it? 760 00:36:02,500 --> 00:36:03,900 He said it was impossible. 761 00:36:04,500 --> 00:36:06,600 Love isn't an impossibility for us. 762 00:36:06,635 --> 00:36:08,300 It's an impossibility for him. 763 00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:10,300 Then why aren't you with anyone? 764 00:36:11,500 --> 00:36:13,000 My choices are my own. 765 00:36:13,500 --> 00:36:14,665 And make no mistake. 766 00:36:14,700 --> 00:36:16,500 I've loved and been loved. 767 00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:19,900 If true love shows up at your doorstep, and you drive it away, 768 00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:23,300 that's on you, not the job or anything else. 769 00:36:43,100 --> 00:36:44,400 This place looks deserted. 770 00:36:45,200 --> 00:36:46,400 Don't be fooled. 771 00:36:47,100 --> 00:36:50,300 The candle's melting ray could be anywhere and ready to fire at any minute. 772 00:36:55,400 --> 00:36:56,400 I have a question. 773 00:36:56,800 --> 00:37:01,100 Why are you guys in wetsuits, and I'm in this honey ryder thunderball nightmare? 774 00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:03,000 Honey ryder's from doctor no. 775 00:37:03,400 --> 00:37:05,300 Ah, you make me sick. 776 00:37:15,800 --> 00:37:17,800 Scandinavian furniture. 777 00:37:18,100 --> 00:37:20,200 There are three exits out of this chamber. 778 00:37:20,235 --> 00:37:21,300 We'd better split up. 779 00:37:25,700 --> 00:37:26,800 Earthquake? 780 00:37:26,900 --> 00:37:30,500 I believe that's a third stagebalthorium-g electromechanical turbine 781 00:37:30,535 --> 00:37:32,100 going though its initiation sequence. 782 00:37:32,135 --> 00:37:32,965 We better hurry. 783 00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:34,600 You take that corridor. I'll take this one. 784 00:37:34,635 --> 00:37:35,765 That one's yours, sweet thing. 785 00:37:35,800 --> 00:37:37,400 I'll call when I find the ray gun. 786 00:37:55,600 --> 00:37:57,200 Shores of tripoli! 787 00:38:20,400 --> 00:38:22,200 - The melting ray, that's the sound of... - I know. 788 00:38:22,500 --> 00:38:23,600 But it's too late, we have to go back. 789 00:38:23,635 --> 00:38:25,200 Too late for what? 790 00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:26,700 I'm sorry. 791 00:38:27,900 --> 00:38:29,300 Your middleman, he's dead. 792 00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:31,200 This was a trap. 793 00:38:31,300 --> 00:38:33,600 The candle melted your boss, now he's melting the island. 794 00:38:33,635 --> 00:38:34,665 We go back. 795 00:38:34,700 --> 00:38:36,800 - He can't be. - But he is. 796 00:38:38,200 --> 00:38:40,100 We can't just leave him here. 797 00:38:40,300 --> 00:38:41,765 The candle melted him! 798 00:38:41,800 --> 00:38:43,900 I'm going down there. I have to see for myself. 799 00:38:45,900 --> 00:38:47,100 Sorry, toots. 800 00:38:48,400 --> 00:38:53,400 But the only thing more dangerous than an attractive woman is an intelligent woman. 801 00:39:04,500 --> 00:39:07,400 - You killed him. - No. It wasn't me. 802 00:39:07,600 --> 00:39:09,600 The candle's weapon, that's what did him in. 803 00:39:09,700 --> 00:39:10,700 The candle? 804 00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:15,200 There's no guards here, there's no henchmen. 805 00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:17,300 You couldn't stand being put out to pasture 806 00:39:17,335 --> 00:39:18,800 so you lured us here, 807 00:39:18,900 --> 00:39:22,700 figured you could use your old arch-enemy's weapon to make it look like an ambush. 808 00:39:24,300 --> 00:39:25,700 There is no candle. 809 00:39:26,300 --> 00:39:27,565 This is your plan. 810 00:39:27,600 --> 00:39:28,565 I did what I had to do. 811 00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:31,500 You stole the 4,000 angstroms of balthorium-g... 812 00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:34,900 - You melted your own hand. - There can only be one middleman. 813 00:39:34,935 --> 00:39:36,700 You thought you could replace him as a hero 814 00:39:36,735 --> 00:39:38,300 and have me as your sidekick? 815 00:39:38,335 --> 00:39:38,965 My plan is... 816 00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:41,400 Sheer elegance in its simplicity. 817 00:39:42,600 --> 00:39:45,400 That's right, guy, the bad guys are still saying that. 818 00:39:45,500 --> 00:39:48,500 No. I'm not the bad guy. 819 00:39:49,100 --> 00:39:50,650 We can't both do the job. 820 00:39:50,685 --> 00:39:52,165 This is the only way. 821 00:39:52,200 --> 00:39:54,700 Why don't you finish what you started and shoot me? 822 00:39:56,800 --> 00:39:58,800 You'll never be the man he was. 823 00:39:59,100 --> 00:40:00,800 You're not the middleman. 824 00:40:01,100 --> 00:40:02,600 You're the candle, 825 00:40:02,700 --> 00:40:05,500 a coward who kills people with his melting ray. 826 00:40:07,700 --> 00:40:10,800 My god. What have I done? 827 00:40:14,300 --> 00:40:15,400 Don't make a move! 828 00:40:16,900 --> 00:40:19,400 There's still a chance to save him, I swear. 829 00:40:32,100 --> 00:40:35,600 Wendy! You have to shut off the melting ray! 830 00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:38,200 - You can't. - Why not? 831 00:40:38,300 --> 00:40:41,065 I defeated the candle so many times 832 00:40:41,100 --> 00:40:44,000 by shutting down his melting ray in the last minute, 833 00:40:44,035 --> 00:40:46,200 that he built this model without an off switch. 834 00:40:46,900 --> 00:40:49,800 Once you turn it on there's no going back! 835 00:40:51,200 --> 00:40:52,300 What are you doing? 836 00:40:53,300 --> 00:40:54,100 Don't worry. 837 00:40:57,100 --> 00:41:01,200 My plan is sheer elegance in its simplicity. 838 00:41:11,600 --> 00:41:13,600 There's something I need to do very badly. 839 00:41:13,635 --> 00:41:14,900 What's that, dubbie? 840 00:41:44,400 --> 00:41:46,465 Snake island will always be remembered as the field 841 00:41:46,500 --> 00:41:49,600 where the candle and the middleman had their ultimate confrontation. 842 00:41:50,200 --> 00:41:52,400 I can't think of a more fitting memorial. 843 00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:54,600 Is that gonna be the official story? 844 00:41:54,700 --> 00:41:55,700 I think so. 845 00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:59,150 I thought middlemen told the truth and nothing but the truth. 846 00:41:59,185 --> 00:42:02,300 I am telling the truth. It's only the facts I'm changing. 847 00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:07,400 I know I'll never be as much fun as he was, ida. 848 00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:11,700 Yeah. He was snappy dresser too. 849 00:42:14,800 --> 00:42:16,300 He did know how to dress well. 850 00:42:16,600 --> 00:42:17,865 Unlike, say, uh... 851 00:42:17,900 --> 00:42:20,300 Crack wise all you want about my eisenhower jacket, dubbie, 852 00:42:20,900 --> 00:42:22,365 but ??? it's named after a man 853 00:42:22,400 --> 00:42:25,400 who led soldiers through harsh times against the darkest of evils. 854 00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:27,600 This jacket says something about... 855 00:42:28,900 --> 00:42:29,900 About me, 856 00:42:30,300 --> 00:42:31,900 the man I choose to be. 857 00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:36,400 So what does this uniform say about me, other than you're my boss? 858 00:42:37,900 --> 00:42:41,400 If you feel you need to make a change, then make a change. 859 00:42:42,200 --> 00:42:44,500 - But make it count. - Really? 860 00:42:45,100 --> 00:42:46,100 I think you've earned it. 861 00:43:11,100 --> 00:43:12,800 This gazpacho is amazing. 862 00:43:13,500 --> 00:43:17,200 Well, you know, making great soup is like my mutant power. 863 00:43:18,500 --> 00:43:19,900 That's your mutant power? 864 00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:24,000 That, and I can set fires with my mind. 865 00:43:25,400 --> 00:43:27,000 Why? What's your mutant power? 866 00:43:29,400 --> 00:43:31,200 You know what, tyler ford? 867 00:43:32,100 --> 00:43:33,400 I don't think I have one. 868 00:43:42,900 --> 00:43:43,900 Is everything...? 869 00:43:44,100 --> 00:43:45,700 Yeah, but can you just hold on for one... 870 00:43:58,800 --> 00:43:59,900 Ok, where were we? 871 00:44:10,100 --> 00:44:12,900 Like the watch is the only surveillance we have. 872 00:44:19,400 --> 00:44:20,700 Really, ida... 873 00:44:21,305 --> 00:45:21,244 OpenSubtitles recommends using Nord VPN from 3.49 USD/month ----> osdb.link/vpn 66976

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