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1
00:00:04,986 --> 00:00:07,966
Sex, like life, is often about the numbers.
2
00:00:07,988 --> 00:00:09,699
With two people, the agenda's clear.
3
00:00:09,741 --> 00:00:11,642
One gives, one receives.
4
00:00:11,915 --> 00:00:13,495
But add a third...
5
00:00:13,595 --> 00:00:15,066
and a fourth.
6
00:00:15,229 --> 00:00:18,313
That's when things become complicated.
7
00:00:19,274 --> 00:00:20,411
See ya.
8
00:00:20,495 --> 00:00:24,522
:: board. tv4user. de presents::
9
00:00:24,595 --> 00:00:29,124
:: Secret Diary Of A Call Girl::
:: Season 1- Episode 7::
10
00:00:29,296 --> 00:00:37,491
:: Transcript: transcripts. subtitle. me. uk::
11
00:00:38,388 --> 00:00:42,625
:: Sync: Italian Subs Addicted::
12
00:00:42,781 --> 00:00:46,861
:: Assembling: fatbrat::
13
00:00:56,039 --> 00:00:58,484
Absolutely not. No way.
14
00:00:58,686 --> 00:01:01,535
No, I can't even believe you
suggested it. Fuck off. No.
15
00:01:01,635 --> 00:01:02,917
Why not? You're short of a partner.
16
00:01:03,017 --> 00:01:05,358
Yeah, but I wasn't asking you.
I was just...
17
00:01:05,458 --> 00:01:07,756
thinking aloud, telling you my problems.
18
00:01:07,797 --> 00:01:09,655
Well, now it's not a problem.
19
00:01:09,755 --> 00:01:11,505
Ben, this is a job.
20
00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:13,542
A job you clearly have issues with.
21
00:01:13,563 --> 00:01:16,599
- Not amateur gang-bang night.
- I know. And I know that I can handle it.
22
00:01:16,630 --> 00:01:18,759
Reckon I could do your job, do you?
23
00:01:18,806 --> 00:01:22,197
Organise the bar staff, order the drinks,
do whatever it is you do?
24
00:01:22,222 --> 00:01:24,653
I think you're forgetting something.
I already know how to have sex.
25
00:01:24,695 --> 00:01:26,897
Yeah, but not professionally.
26
00:01:27,105 --> 00:01:28,691
Professionally?
27
00:01:34,446 --> 00:01:36,612
What exactly is it you think I do in my job?
28
00:01:36,644 --> 00:01:37,880
- Hannah!
- Take the money,
29
00:01:37,922 --> 00:01:39,368
spread my legs, moan a bit?
30
00:01:39,471 --> 00:01:41,403
- I never said that.
- You have no idea.
31
00:01:41,503 --> 00:01:44,520
- So show me. Come on. Makes perfect sense.
- Oh, Ben...
32
00:01:44,620 --> 00:01:47,333
I've accepted what you do. I've told you.
It's not a problem for me.
33
00:01:47,364 --> 00:01:49,705
- Good.
- But I still don't understand it.
34
00:01:49,805 --> 00:01:50,869
I still worry.
35
00:01:51,131 --> 00:01:54,189
You keep telling me how it's all
OK, how safe it usually is.
36
00:01:54,542 --> 00:01:56,024
Why don't you let me see for myself?
37
00:01:56,055 --> 00:01:57,629
- It's not a good idea.
- Why not?
38
00:01:57,740 --> 00:01:59,453
Because it's more involved than you think.
39
00:01:59,526 --> 00:02:01,983
Anyway, you're about to get married.
40
00:02:03,411 --> 00:02:06,043
Yeah, well, maybe that's a part of it.
41
00:02:06,143 --> 00:02:08,307
What, last gasp of freedom?
42
00:02:08,407 --> 00:02:10,804
Oh, come on. Why does it matter
why I want to do it?
43
00:02:10,904 --> 00:02:12,866
It matters cos it's my job
44
00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:16,438
My reputation. That's the point.
I don't work with just anyone.
45
00:02:16,478 --> 00:02:18,124
Then work...
46
00:02:18,378 --> 00:02:19,681
with me.
47
00:02:21,401 --> 00:02:22,842
No.
48
00:02:29,731 --> 00:02:32,715
Most girls who do couples work
have a regular partner.
49
00:02:32,767 --> 00:02:36,247
The rest of us just point and click
but not without caution.
50
00:02:38,723 --> 00:02:43,703
Chiselled, classy, almost certainly gay.
51
00:02:44,395 --> 00:02:46,373
Not right for this job.
52
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,859
Oh, I love these ones.
Amateurs with egos.
53
00:02:49,959 --> 00:02:53,304
They take a few snaps of themselves in
the back garden pay a fee to the agency
54
00:02:53,404 --> 00:02:56,302
and reckon they'll get paid to sleep around.
55
00:02:58,170 --> 00:03:00,005
But I'm looking for a professional.
56
00:03:00,105 --> 00:03:02,531
And how long have you
been in the business?
57
00:03:02,631 --> 00:03:04,633
Three, four years.
58
00:03:05,036 --> 00:03:06,767
Enjoy your work?
59
00:03:06,867 --> 00:03:08,796
Love sex. Love women.
60
00:03:08,896 --> 00:03:12,450
And what do you think you bring
to a client's experience?
61
00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:14,463
12 inches.
62
00:03:23,044 --> 00:03:25,612
Oh, hello. My name's Benjamin.
63
00:03:26,030 --> 00:03:29,149
- Benjamin.
- I'm here about the job.
64
00:03:39,829 --> 00:03:44,522
I was just wondering if you could give me
a few more details about the vacancy.
65
00:03:44,815 --> 00:03:47,390
Well, perhaps you can tell me
what you already know.
66
00:03:48,411 --> 00:03:50,273
Only that it's for a foursome,
67
00:03:50,373 --> 00:03:52,652
and that you're short of a male partner.
68
00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:56,660
And what exactly do you
think the job entails?
69
00:03:56,902 --> 00:03:58,580
Sex, obviously.
70
00:04:01,428 --> 00:04:05,190
Um... watching. Being watched.
71
00:04:05,994 --> 00:04:08,100
I'm aware it's a very demanding position
72
00:04:08,121 --> 00:04:11,293
and that not everyone
can do this kind of work.
73
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:22,427
This particular couple are first-timers.
74
00:04:23,179 --> 00:04:26,789
And they've booked a couples date as
an anniversary present for each other.
75
00:04:27,066 --> 00:04:28,592
- Different.
- And in this case,
76
00:04:28,632 --> 00:04:31,683
they've asked for a straight swap,
so I'll have sex with the husband
77
00:04:31,737 --> 00:04:35,610
and my male partner will sleep
with the wife.
78
00:04:36,205 --> 00:04:37,473
Sounds good.
79
00:04:38,878 --> 00:04:41,828
Can I ask you, are you in a
relationship at the moment?
80
00:04:41,868 --> 00:04:43,291
I'm engaged.
81
00:04:43,375 --> 00:04:45,691
And you don't consider
that to be a problem?
82
00:04:45,927 --> 00:04:50,003
- In what way?
- Well, some people, just some,
83
00:04:50,097 --> 00:04:52,438
might think that a person who's
about to get married
84
00:04:52,478 --> 00:04:54,882
shouldn't be getting paid to have sex.
85
00:04:57,718 --> 00:05:00,960
Mm. I've always been able to separate
my sex life and my emotions.
86
00:05:01,198 --> 00:05:03,100
- Really?
- Yeah.
87
00:05:03,177 --> 00:05:06,521
My... friend says it's one
of my best qualities.
88
00:05:06,667 --> 00:05:08,691
She's got a similar thing, you see.
89
00:05:08,737 --> 00:05:12,281
Able to emotionally detach.
Keep things separate.
90
00:05:12,375 --> 00:05:14,711
She sounds like a very smart person.
91
00:05:14,936 --> 00:05:19,060
Mm. She is.
Smart, strong...
92
00:05:20,125 --> 00:05:23,753
- Of course, I'd never say any of this to her.
- Course.
93
00:05:24,076 --> 00:05:27,103
Just sometimes she cuts her
nose off to spite her face.
94
00:05:27,164 --> 00:05:28,365
Oh?
95
00:05:28,406 --> 00:05:29,640
Yeah.
96
00:05:30,138 --> 00:05:33,211
Doesn't always let people in, you know?
97
00:05:33,578 --> 00:05:37,450
Even though deep down she knows it
could solve a lot of problems.
98
00:05:39,616 --> 00:05:44,223
- So I like to help her out.
- Even if it causes complications?
99
00:05:45,717 --> 00:05:48,598
I can handle it if you can.
100
00:06:11,015 --> 00:06:12,295
3...
101
00:06:12,335 --> 00:06:13,541
2...
102
00:06:13,775 --> 00:06:15,020
1...
103
00:06:37,485 --> 00:06:39,543
Do you do this every time?
All this...
104
00:06:39,587 --> 00:06:43,012
No second chances to make a first impression.
105
00:06:43,207 --> 00:06:45,335
See, this is where all the money goes.
106
00:06:45,375 --> 00:06:46,972
Underwear, make-up...
107
00:06:47,028 --> 00:06:49,330
Come on. You're loaded.
108
00:06:49,608 --> 00:06:51,603
I've seen all your little rolls of cash.
109
00:06:52,817 --> 00:06:54,612
Go on. How much do you make a year?
110
00:06:54,695 --> 00:06:56,773
Have to ask my accountant, love.
111
00:06:56,905 --> 00:06:58,522
Come on. Tell me.
112
00:06:59,366 --> 00:07:01,072
Turnover last year...
113
00:07:03,187 --> 00:07:06,342
- �105,000.
- Fuck me!
114
00:07:06,476 --> 00:07:09,232
- Seriously?
- Told you you wouldn't like it.
115
00:07:09,737 --> 00:07:12,058
- �32,000.
- Don't be ridiculous. You can't compare.
116
00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:13,731
I'm self-employed.
117
00:07:14,357 --> 00:07:19,667
I have many expenses.
Laundry, booze, nibbles,
118
00:07:19,707 --> 00:07:23,131
- phone bills, mattresses.
- Yeah, all right. I get it.
119
00:07:23,665 --> 00:07:27,421
Anyway, I worked it out once.
It costs me �20,000 a year to be Belle.
120
00:07:27,508 --> 00:07:31,012
- It costs �34 to be Ben.
- That much?
121
00:07:56,035 --> 00:07:59,281
20 minutes and counting.
There you go.
122
00:08:00,077 --> 00:08:01,891
- Vodka?
- It's all you're getting.
123
00:08:01,931 --> 00:08:03,901
Otherwise the clients will smell
it on your breath. Oh...
124
00:08:04,435 --> 00:08:06,902
It's all right. Brought my own.
125
00:08:07,767 --> 00:08:09,002
One?
126
00:08:09,356 --> 00:08:11,177
That's not going to get you very far.
127
00:08:11,217 --> 00:08:14,373
Penis, fingers, toys, they all need
their own condoms. Basic hygiene.
128
00:08:14,847 --> 00:08:16,288
- Nice.
- Oh, and...
129
00:08:16,328 --> 00:08:18,657
always use one hand on yourself
and the other on your...
130
00:08:18,697 --> 00:08:20,378
- On my guest?
- Exactly.
131
00:08:20,418 --> 00:08:22,472
I like to keep things clean.
132
00:08:24,866 --> 00:08:26,380
What if I don't fancy her?
133
00:08:26,606 --> 00:08:28,892
- She'll be fine.
- But what if she's not?
134
00:08:28,987 --> 00:08:31,715
- What if she's a real munter?
- Doesn't matter.
135
00:08:31,755 --> 00:08:35,433
When that doorbell rings, whatever's
on the other side, we smile.
136
00:08:35,507 --> 00:08:37,433
It's not the smiling I'm worried about.
137
00:08:40,167 --> 00:08:41,593
Look,
138
00:08:41,887 --> 00:08:44,961
I don't fancy half the men I sleep with.
139
00:08:45,166 --> 00:08:49,430
But I look at them and I think,
I could have some fun.
140
00:08:49,707 --> 00:08:51,823
An adventure, and that's enough.
141
00:08:53,475 --> 00:08:56,073
- It'll be OK.
- How do you know that?
142
00:08:56,155 --> 00:09:00,161
Because I know you.
And I know how you make people feel.
143
00:09:00,298 --> 00:09:02,090
What are you on about?
144
00:09:05,103 --> 00:09:07,857
I never felt shit when we were together.
145
00:09:07,897 --> 00:09:11,725
Even if I looked crap or felt
fat, it didn't matter.
146
00:09:12,836 --> 00:09:15,593
You know how to make people feel good.
147
00:09:16,629 --> 00:09:19,991
And if you take this, you
won't let anyone down.
148
00:09:21,485 --> 00:09:24,331
All male escorts use Viagra.
It's standard practice.
149
00:09:24,825 --> 00:09:26,385
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
150
00:09:37,466 --> 00:09:39,480
- Belle?
- Hi, hello. Come in.
151
00:09:40,875 --> 00:09:44,922
- Kate and... - Liam. -
Liam. Hello. This is Ben.
152
00:09:45,207 --> 00:09:48,293
- Hi.
- Hi.
153
00:09:48,767 --> 00:09:50,641
So you found us OK?
154
00:09:50,788 --> 00:09:52,032
Yeah, yeah. It was fine.
155
00:09:52,267 --> 00:09:54,861
We didn't have far. Just... Hendon.
156
00:09:55,135 --> 00:09:57,262
- The RAF Museum.
- Yeah.
157
00:09:58,607 --> 00:10:01,489
- Shall I take your coats?
- Thanks.
158
00:10:02,318 --> 00:10:03,943
- Would you like to come through?
- Thank you.
159
00:10:07,608 --> 00:10:11,622
- Oh, feel free. Here.
- Oh. Thanks. I wasn't sure.
160
00:10:12,138 --> 00:10:14,778
You know, not many places
you can, these days.
161
00:10:14,779 --> 00:10:17,672
Well, this is one where you
most certainly can.
162
00:10:17,778 --> 00:10:21,337
Uh, can I get anybody a drink?
Some champagne, maybe?
163
00:10:21,396 --> 00:10:22,236
Oh, lovely.
164
00:10:22,237 --> 00:10:27,891
- Seeing as we're celebrating.
- Yeah. 15 years. Can't believe it.
165
00:10:28,315 --> 00:10:32,651
Well, 20, actually. We were together
for five before we got married.
166
00:10:33,026 --> 00:10:35,953
That's quite an achievement. Not
quite there yet, are we, darling?
167
00:10:36,465 --> 00:10:37,663
Eight years, though.
168
00:10:37,865 --> 00:10:43,502
Oh. So you two are a real... I mean...
You are together?
169
00:10:43,777 --> 00:10:45,717
We weren't sure if you'd be a... couple.
170
00:10:45,741 --> 00:10:47,571
Actually, we met at university.
171
00:10:48,558 --> 00:10:50,431
Oh. Snap. We went to Nottingham.
172
00:10:51,137 --> 00:10:53,343
- Newcastle.
- Ah, Newcastle.
173
00:10:53,538 --> 00:10:54,560
Alan Shearer.
174
00:10:55,816 --> 00:10:56,650
Sting.
175
00:10:57,725 --> 00:10:59,701
Coal.
176
00:11:01,072 --> 00:11:03,399
- Er... I'll just get the drinks.
- Do you need a hand?
177
00:11:03,442 --> 00:11:05,612
No, darling. I'm fine, thank you.
178
00:11:05,846 --> 00:11:07,492
Um... I don't know if you...
179
00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:11,361
Oh, lovely. Thank you.
Won't be a sec.
180
00:11:16,648 --> 00:11:18,662
So... 20 years together, huh?
181
00:11:18,998 --> 00:11:21,962
- You don't look old enough.
- Ha, ha! Thanks.
182
00:11:28,558 --> 00:11:30,581
Two people, three sexual agendas.
183
00:11:30,765 --> 00:11:33,159
His, hers, theirs.
184
00:11:33,218 --> 00:11:35,850
The question is, are they compatible?
185
00:11:41,210 --> 00:11:43,036
As we haven't spoken before,
186
00:11:43,118 --> 00:11:46,442
it would be great to know if there
were something specific you want,
187
00:11:46,545 --> 00:11:49,181
you know, how you'd like to
spend our time together.
188
00:11:50,066 --> 00:11:53,667
Oh, we just thought we'd kind of
play it by ear, sort of thing.
189
00:11:53,730 --> 00:11:57,003
OK, that's fine. We can do that.
And was there a particular fantasy...
190
00:11:57,746 --> 00:12:01,142
or something you'd like to explore?
191
00:12:02,118 --> 00:12:06,592
Actually, I did wonder if...
I mean, I'm not a lesbian...
192
00:12:06,946 --> 00:12:10,983
I'm sure that would be something
we could all enjoy.
193
00:12:11,060 --> 00:12:15,088
I know I would.
What do you think, Liam?
194
00:12:15,977 --> 00:12:18,406
Yeah. That would be great.
195
00:12:18,698 --> 00:12:22,142
It's something we've often
talked about, you know.
196
00:12:22,838 --> 00:12:27,132
I tell you what, why don't you two have a lovely
shower whilst Ben and I get everything ready?
197
00:12:27,197 --> 00:12:27,959
OK.
198
00:12:27,980 --> 00:12:29,900
Darling, could you get our guests
some towels, please?
199
00:12:29,942 --> 00:12:31,402
Sure.
200
00:12:36,675 --> 00:12:38,361
So, am I doing all right?
201
00:12:39,104 --> 00:12:40,660
Charming, funny,
202
00:12:40,867 --> 00:12:44,050
incredibly knowledgeable about industrial
northern cities.
203
00:12:44,113 --> 00:12:46,320
Coal. Can you believe I said that?
204
00:12:46,408 --> 00:12:47,545
Just relax, it's fine.
205
00:12:47,587 --> 00:12:50,583
- Is there any music you'd like?
- Oh, anything, really.
206
00:12:50,958 --> 00:12:52,993
Apart from Simply Red!
207
00:12:53,083 --> 00:12:54,951
Can't be all bad.
208
00:12:55,638 --> 00:12:57,673
Right, quick. Underwear.
We need to change it.
209
00:12:57,892 --> 00:13:00,407
What do you mean, change?
I've only got these.
210
00:13:00,444 --> 00:13:01,672
Mine, not yours.
211
00:13:01,763 --> 00:13:04,329
This isn't right for them.
It's a bit hardcore.
212
00:13:04,654 --> 00:13:07,231
Right. What do you think?
213
00:13:08,138 --> 00:13:10,353
Retro. Von Teese?
214
00:13:13,418 --> 00:13:15,954
I see your tastes haven't changed.
215
00:13:18,544 --> 00:13:20,942
Not the only thing that hasn't changed.
216
00:13:21,205 --> 00:13:24,512
Not the only thing that hasn't changed.
217
00:13:37,813 --> 00:13:40,582
You said it would take at least
half an hour to kick in.
218
00:13:40,674 --> 00:13:43,470
- Don't knock it.
- I'm not.
219
00:13:44,055 --> 00:13:47,650
Remember, though, she's paying
for her orgasm, not yours.
220
00:13:53,121 --> 00:13:55,370
Oh, my God.
221
00:14:04,563 --> 00:14:06,243
Liam, come here.
222
00:14:18,696 --> 00:14:22,340
Why don't you watch me and
Kate have a play?
223
00:15:02,213 --> 00:15:03,410
Ben.
224
00:15:05,657 --> 00:15:06,810
Ben!
225
00:16:34,315 --> 00:16:35,013
Ben.
226
00:16:37,127 --> 00:16:38,172
Ben.
227
00:16:39,528 --> 00:16:40,762
Come here.
228
00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:21,913
- You two have a good time?
- Sure we do.
229
00:17:22,510 --> 00:17:23,723
Good.
230
00:17:48,107 --> 00:17:50,630
- No, we can't.
- Why not?
231
00:17:53,841 --> 00:17:58,402
- Come on, Hannah.
- It's Belle, alright?
232
00:18:37,612 --> 00:18:39,191
You did well.
233
00:18:39,886 --> 00:18:43,323
Didn't do anything...
did we?
234
00:18:44,081 --> 00:18:47,460
You gave 'em what they here came for,
you should feel pleased.
235
00:18:48,833 --> 00:18:50,823
I just feel...
236
00:18:52,016 --> 00:18:54,123
Don't know what I feel.
237
00:18:54,937 --> 00:18:56,830
It just wasn't...
238
00:18:57,653 --> 00:19:00,376
I don't know, it wasn't what I've expected.
239
00:19:00,449 --> 00:19:03,423
You're alright? Still with that this is...
240
00:19:04,279 --> 00:19:10,879
excitement and then... or the
anticipation, it's just adrenalin.
241
00:19:18,193 --> 00:19:20,280
Thank you. Thank you so much!
242
00:19:20,312 --> 00:19:22,774
Don't thank us. You two were amazing.
243
00:19:22,879 --> 00:19:26,473
He does it all, you're obviously still
crazy about each other.
244
00:19:26,886 --> 00:19:30,020
I hope we're still like you
guys after 20 years.
245
00:19:30,827 --> 00:19:33,342
Not so badly at all.
246
00:19:33,739 --> 00:19:35,210
Thanks, Belle.
247
00:19:35,763 --> 00:19:37,032
Ben.
248
00:19:37,683 --> 00:19:39,912
- Nice job.
- You too.
249
00:19:42,076 --> 00:19:43,322
Come on, you.
250
00:19:47,773 --> 00:19:49,933
- Bye.
- Bye.
251
00:19:55,526 --> 00:19:59,083
See, it's not just opening my
legs and moaning, is it?
252
00:19:59,731 --> 00:20:03,543
No, it's a total mindfuck.
253
00:20:14,028 --> 00:20:16,911
Sure you don't wanna take
any blue little friends?
254
00:20:17,012 --> 00:20:18,577
As a gift for Vanessa?
255
00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:20,184
Fuck off!
256
00:20:27,652 --> 00:20:28,831
200.
257
00:20:31,387 --> 00:20:32,643
Cheers.
258
00:20:33,548 --> 00:20:35,374
- Think I'll call you tomorrow.
- Yeah.
259
00:20:36,595 --> 00:20:39,589
It's been a... an education...
260
00:20:39,798 --> 00:20:41,729
keeping things separate.
261
00:20:42,490 --> 00:20:43,700
You're very good.
262
00:20:45,522 --> 00:20:47,150
The best.
263
00:20:53,338 --> 00:20:55,483
- Good night.
- Night.
264
00:21:01,137 --> 00:21:03,990
Sex is really a numbers game.
265
00:21:04,122 --> 00:21:07,711
Group sex is complicated but
that's mechanics.
266
00:21:08,285 --> 00:21:11,713
For me, the hardest numbers
have always been 1 plus 1.
267
00:21:11,841 --> 00:21:14,252
It never seems for them to add up...
268
00:21:14,345 --> 00:21:19,802
:: Transcript: transcripts. subtitle. me. uk::
269
00:21:19,917 --> 00:21:22,161
:: Sync: Italian Subs Addicted::
270
00:21:22,345 --> 00:21:25,715
:: Assembling: fatbrat::
271
00:21:26,351 --> 00:21:28,220
Why do you want to be
a cortisan, Belle?
272
00:21:28,251 --> 00:21:30,631
I'm ready to take the next
step up the ladder.
273
00:21:30,745 --> 00:21:34,226
Being at the top of my profession
means I'm completely in charge.
274
00:21:34,299 --> 00:21:36,438
I'm with Diamond International now.
275
00:21:36,636 --> 00:21:38,389
It's been lovely, Ladies.
276
00:21:38,525 --> 00:21:41,540
This is your apartment... if you want it.
277
00:21:41,666 --> 00:21:42,740
No?
278
00:21:42,782 --> 00:21:44,626
What do you know about real life?
279
00:21:44,689 --> 00:21:46,751
Gonna be an Uber-whore.
280
00:21:46,786 --> 00:21:50,031
But it's still fucking in the end.
281
00:21:50,094 --> 00:21:53,005
You've lied about all, you?
everyone, for this.
282
00:21:53,746 --> 00:21:55,723
For all this shit!
283
00:21:58,223 --> 00:22:23,047
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