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1
00:00:50,900 --> 00:00:52,900
Thanks for everything.
2
00:00:58,700 --> 00:01:00,700
Guess what I did
last night.
3
00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:02,700
Dude!
4
00:01:24,100 --> 00:01:25,900
Now let's rock
Westside Academy!
5
00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:35,600
Taste the beast!
6
00:01:36,300 --> 00:01:37,900
You can do
anything you want in life
7
00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:40,100
as long as you
stay away from drugs.
8
00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:41,900
Why would a person
use illegal drugs?
9
00:01:42,100 --> 00:01:43,800
Many reasons.
10
00:01:43,900 --> 00:01:46,400
Maybe they're trying to fit
in with a new group of friends.
11
00:01:46,500 --> 00:01:47,800
Maybe they're curious.
12
00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:49,300
Maybe they're just bored.
13
00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:50,300
But whatever the reason,
14
00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:52,600
what should you say when
someone offers you drugs?
15
00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:55,400
Say, "No, thanks.
I'll have a Minotaur. "
16
00:01:55,500 --> 00:01:57,200
Stay off drugs! Minotaur!
17
00:01:57,300 --> 00:01:59,000
Thank you, Minotaur man.
18
00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:03,000
Hey! Nice cow
outfit, homo.
19
00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:05,600
Where can I pick one of
those up, the gay zoo?
20
00:02:05,800 --> 00:02:07,200
Oh, no. It's not a...
It's not a cow.
21
00:02:07,300 --> 00:02:08,300
It's a minotaur.
22
00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:09,500
It's a creature of myth,
23
00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:11,500
and he got this one out
of your mom's closet.
24
00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:14,300
She let me keep it
after I fucked her.
25
00:02:16,100 --> 00:02:18,900
Drugs are bad.
Energy drinks, good.
26
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:21,500
So whenever you'd like to
taste one, help yourselves.
27
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:24,300
And for every can sold,
Minotaur will make a donation
28
00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:26,300
to the Keep Kids
Off Drugs foundation.
29
00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:33,400
God, this suit
smells like Tater Tots.
30
00:02:33,500 --> 00:02:35,800
Yeah, I know what you need.
31
00:02:35,900 --> 00:02:38,300
Kiss? Are you kidding? No. God.
32
00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:40,300
I love Kiss.
33
00:02:40,500 --> 00:02:41,500
No one loves Kiss.
34
00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:43,100
Paul Stanley is
sick of Kiss.
35
00:02:43,300 --> 00:02:45,400
Whoa! Don't dis
the Starchild.
36
00:02:45,500 --> 00:02:46,800
Hey, don't get me
wrong, all right?
37
00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:50,600
I like to "rock 'n' roll all
night and part of every day!"
38
00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:53,800
Party every day. "Rock 'n' roll
all night and party every day!"
39
00:02:53,900 --> 00:02:56,600
I like to rock 'n' roll part
of every day. Party every day.
40
00:02:56,700 --> 00:02:58,000
I usually have errands.
Party.
41
00:02:58,100 --> 00:03:00,600
I can rock 'n' roll from, like,
1:00 to 3:00. You need to party.
42
00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:03,000
Hey, guys.
How's it going?
43
00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:05,200
When someone offers you some
illegal drugs, what do you say?
44
00:03:05,300 --> 00:03:07,900
You say, "No, thanks.
I'll just have a Minotaur. "
45
00:03:08,100 --> 00:03:09,600
I've had so many
of these things.
46
00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:11,300
I'm not kidding.
47
00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:13,000
I may wet my pants.
Where's the bathroom?
48
00:03:17,300 --> 00:03:18,300
Holy shit.
49
00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:20,500
Dude, this is like
Shrek's piss.
50
00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:25,900
So remember, stay off drugs,
drink Minotaur and above all...
51
00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:27,300
Taste the beast!
52
00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:35,400
You know what's
great about this job?
53
00:03:35,500 --> 00:03:36,800
You mean,
besides nothing?
54
00:03:36,900 --> 00:03:38,100
We're making
the world a better place.
55
00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:39,300
How?
56
00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:42,400
You know, giving the kids an
energy boost to stay off drugs.
57
00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:45,600
We're selling them nuclear
horse piss for 6 bucks a can.
58
00:03:45,700 --> 00:03:47,500
What an accomplishment.
Feels good, doesn't it?
59
00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:49,900
Easy to do hung-over.
60
00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:51,200
I could do
this job forever.
61
00:03:51,300 --> 00:03:53,800
If I had to do this job forever,
I'd put a bullet in my head.
62
00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:55,200
Game face, bro.
63
00:03:55,300 --> 00:03:56,400
Surprise!
64
00:03:57,600 --> 00:03:58,800
Yeah!
65
00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:01,200
Got you, man! Got you!
66
00:04:01,300 --> 00:04:02,300
Happy anniversary!
Did you know?
67
00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:03,400
No.
68
00:04:03,500 --> 00:04:05,000
All right.
That was good!
69
00:04:05,100 --> 00:04:06,200
Oh, my God.
You're here.
70
00:04:06,300 --> 00:04:07,400
Wheeler called me. Hi.
71
00:04:07,500 --> 00:04:08,500
Thank you for warning me.
72
00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:10,800
Hey, I tried to tell them
you don't like surprises,
73
00:04:10,900 --> 00:04:13,300
but they really wanted
to celebrate your milestone.
74
00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:14,900
What's up, mino-tards?
75
00:04:16,500 --> 00:04:17,600
What's up, Wheeler?
76
00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:18,900
My dick!
77
00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:20,200
"My dick!"
78
00:04:20,300 --> 00:04:22,800
Everybody, we're here to
celebrate my best friend, Danny!
79
00:04:22,900 --> 00:04:24,600
We just work together.
Not "best friend. "
80
00:04:24,700 --> 00:04:25,800
Be nice.
81
00:04:25,900 --> 00:04:27,600
Danny's been
working here 10 years!
82
00:04:27,700 --> 00:04:29,200
That's almost
a decade of living the dream.
83
00:04:29,300 --> 00:04:30,400
You're the
man, Danny!
84
00:04:30,500 --> 00:04:31,900
I want to grow
old with you, Danny.
85
00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:33,300
Hopefully,
we'll be tasting the beast
86
00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:34,600
for the rest of
our lives together!
87
00:04:34,700 --> 00:04:36,200
Yeah!
All right!
88
00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:41,200
It's early morning
The sun come out
89
00:04:41,300 --> 00:04:43,500
Last night was shaking
And pretty loud
90
00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:44,800
This is a nightmare.
91
00:04:44,900 --> 00:04:46,600
Come on. I took
the afternoon off.
92
00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:48,800
There's cake! Let's
try and enjoy ourselves.
93
00:04:48,900 --> 00:04:51,400
Mitch from Graphics,
take over!
94
00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:52,900
Do it!
Let's go next!
95
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:54,600
Come on. It'll be fun.
No.
96
00:04:54,700 --> 00:04:56,800
Why not? Come on.
We'll do a duet!
97
00:04:56,900 --> 00:04:58,400
Getting up in front
of a group of people
98
00:04:58,500 --> 00:05:00,300
and singing is not my
idea of fun. All right?
99
00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:02,100
It's humiliating.
100
00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:03,600
With another sin
101
00:05:03,700 --> 00:05:05,100
I'm gonna sing.
102
00:05:06,900 --> 00:05:08,600
Here I am
103
00:05:08,700 --> 00:05:09,700
Ow!
104
00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:12,700
Rock you like a hurricane
105
00:05:12,900 --> 00:05:14,700
Come on, come on, come
on, come on! Yeah, yeah!
106
00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:16,000
Here I am
107
00:05:16,100 --> 00:05:17,500
Come on. Sing it!
108
00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:20,200
Rock you like a hurricane
109
00:05:20,300 --> 00:05:21,500
Danny?
110
00:05:22,300 --> 00:05:23,400
What is your problem?
111
00:05:23,500 --> 00:05:24,500
Look, I'm sorry,
all right?
112
00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:27,500
I'm not Wheeler, happy
in some brainless job,
113
00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:28,700
no goals, no ambition.
114
00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:30,400
Hey, you don't know
how Wheeler feels.
115
00:05:30,500 --> 00:05:33,700
For all you know, he hates
his job as much as you do.
116
00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:35,700
I love this job!
117
00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:37,900
Hey, Wheeler!
She's tasting your beast!
118
00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:42,900
Good morning.
Can I take your order?
119
00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:44,300
Can I get a tall chai?
120
00:05:44,500 --> 00:05:45,900
And a large black coffee.
121
00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:46,900
A what?
122
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:48,000
Large black coffee.
123
00:05:48,100 --> 00:05:49,100
Do you mean a venti?
124
00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:50,200
No, I mean a large.
125
00:05:50,300 --> 00:05:52,400
He means a venti. Yeah,
the biggest one you've got.
126
00:05:52,500 --> 00:05:53,600
Venti is large.
127
00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:54,900
No. Venti is 20.
128
00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:56,000
Danny.
129
00:05:56,100 --> 00:05:59,400
Yeah. "Large" is large.
In fact, "tall" is large.
130
00:05:59,500 --> 00:06:01,400
And grande is
Spanish for large.
131
00:06:01,500 --> 00:06:03,300
Venti is the only one
that doesn't mean large.
132
00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:05,000
It's also the only
one that's Italian.
133
00:06:05,100 --> 00:06:07,600
Congratulations! You're
stupid in three languages.
134
00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:10,100
Look, dick.
Venti is a large coffee.
135
00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:11,600
Really? Says who?
Fellini?
136
00:06:11,700 --> 00:06:13,100
How much is that?
Here's a 10.
137
00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:14,700
Do you accept lira,
or is it all euros now?
138
00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:16,700
You know what,
just keep the change.
139
00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:18,700
Jesus, Dan. You know what
they call the sizes here.
140
00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:20,400
You know what, you've been
picking fights with everybody.
141
00:06:20,500 --> 00:06:22,300
The girl at the party...
She said ASAP.
142
00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:24,100
ASAP, I'm sorry.
Huge crime.
143
00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:27,300
It's like "24l7" or "been there,
done that. " You hate that, too.
144
00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:30,600
I don't hate it enough
to let it ruin my day.
145
00:06:30,700 --> 00:06:34,100
It's getting worse. You
know, man? The sun is shining,
146
00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:37,200
but you have lost the ability
to take any joy in life.
147
00:06:37,300 --> 00:06:38,900
I can't stand it anymore!
148
00:06:39,100 --> 00:06:40,700
You're just
a miserable dick now!
149
00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:42,000
You're mean to everybody!
150
00:06:42,100 --> 00:06:45,600
And, FYI, it's called a
venti because it's 20 ounces!
151
00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:47,600
20! Venti!
152
00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:54,400
Is that true?
153
00:06:56,700 --> 00:06:59,000
She says I take
no joy in life.
154
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:01,500
I can see that.
155
00:07:02,100 --> 00:07:03,300
I gotta talk to her.
156
00:07:03,500 --> 00:07:04,800
Forget her, man.
157
00:07:04,900 --> 00:07:06,700
Let me give you a little
motto I live my life by,
158
00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:08,200
you got to hit
it and quit it.
159
00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:10,200
No ties, tangle free.
160
00:07:10,300 --> 00:07:11,600
Nobody tells me what to do.
161
00:07:11,700 --> 00:07:13,600
I go bang,
bang, bang the drum.
162
00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:15,100
What? That's not a motto.
163
00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:17,600
That's just you
saying a bunch of things.
164
00:07:17,700 --> 00:07:19,700
You know, Beth's right.
I'm a dick.
165
00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:22,400
Hey, I'm in a rut, just
going from school to school
166
00:07:22,500 --> 00:07:25,000
selling poison to
our nation's youth.
167
00:07:25,100 --> 00:07:27,200
It's not poison.
It's got juice in it.
168
00:07:27,300 --> 00:07:28,400
You know, I'm 35 years old.
169
00:07:28,500 --> 00:07:29,500
I got nothing to
show for my life.
170
00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:31,100
I figured I'd be something,
171
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:33,600
something good,
a professor, engineer.
172
00:07:33,700 --> 00:07:35,200
I don't know.
173
00:07:35,300 --> 00:07:37,500
Figured I'd be
married. I'd...
174
00:07:41,700 --> 00:07:43,300
You know what? We're
making a detour. What?
175
00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:44,500
We're making a detour.
Where?
176
00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:45,900
We're making a detour.
Why?
177
00:07:49,100 --> 00:07:51,300
Dude, you're too jacked up on
Minotaur. This is a mistake.
178
00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:52,900
It's fine. Look,
I'll be right back.
179
00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:55,300
Hey, we gotta be at the Blue
Valley Middle School by 1:30.
180
00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:56,600
Yep!
181
00:07:56,700 --> 00:07:58,400
No, I don't want
to plea-bargain.
182
00:07:58,500 --> 00:07:59,600
I didn't do it.
183
00:07:59,700 --> 00:08:02,300
Mr. Garvin, I just don't know what
other options we have, you know,
184
00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:05,800
because they have this clear
videotape of you stealing
185
00:08:05,900 --> 00:08:07,600
a lot of TVs.
Guys! Go, go, go.
186
00:08:07,700 --> 00:08:09,100
That could be any bald guy.
187
00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:12,400
Look at me. Me, David Garvin,
stealing TVs.
188
00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:14,000
Who would believe it?
189
00:08:14,100 --> 00:08:16,000
That is not me.
190
00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:18,900
Hey, hi.
I need to talk to you.
191
00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:21,500
Danny, I'm with a client,
so we'll talk later.
192
00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:23,400
I can go.
No, no. You stay.
193
00:08:23,500 --> 00:08:26,600
I'm not going anywhere
until you talk to me.
194
00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:28,700
Excuse me one...
195
00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:30,200
Thank you.
What? Fast.
196
00:08:30,300 --> 00:08:31,300
All right, you were right.
197
00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:32,300
I'm a dick. I'm a dick!
198
00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:34,000
You're dickish.
Yes, I'm dickish.
199
00:08:34,100 --> 00:08:35,700
I'm a dickish dick, and I'm
in a rut. We're in a rut.
200
00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:37,500
Let's shake things up.
I have an idea.
201
00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:38,900
Let's get married.
I don't have a ring.
202
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:40,100
Are you serious?
203
00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:41,700
Mazel tov!
No.
204
00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:43,400
Never mind.
What?
205
00:08:43,500 --> 00:08:44,500
No.
Why?
206
00:08:44,700 --> 00:08:47,900
Because despite this very well
thought out and romantic proposal,
207
00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:50,300
I'm not that interested in
becoming Mrs. Dick-in-a-rut.
208
00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:51,800
Heard that.
Really?
209
00:08:51,900 --> 00:08:53,200
Did you hear that?
Danny?
210
00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:55,300
Maybe you heard that because
you're 2 feet away from us.
211
00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:56,900
That's another one I hate.
"Heard that!"
212
00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:58,700
You don't get married
to get out of a rut.
213
00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:00,000
You get married
because you love someone
214
00:09:00,100 --> 00:09:01,500
and you don't want to spend
your life without them.
215
00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:04,100
Who is this guy? Thank you,
Mr. Garvin. He's a thief.
216
00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:05,400
Falsely accused.
217
00:09:05,500 --> 00:09:06,700
Oh, well.
He looks like Phil Collins.
218
00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:07,900
Yeah. I know.
219
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:09,200
Look, life is hard,
all right?
220
00:09:09,300 --> 00:09:10,800
We've lived together for
seven years... You know what?
221
00:09:10,900 --> 00:09:14,000
Danny, life is hard, and you've
become the hardest part of my life.
222
00:09:14,100 --> 00:09:15,200
I should really go.
223
00:09:15,300 --> 00:09:16,600
No, you sit down.
224
00:09:18,900 --> 00:09:19,900
You know, Danny?
225
00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:21,000
We do need to
shake things up.
226
00:09:21,100 --> 00:09:22,300
I know!
That's what I'm saying!
227
00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:23,900
I'm moving out.
228
00:09:25,100 --> 00:09:27,600
Wait a minute.
Are you breaking up with me?
229
00:09:28,700 --> 00:09:30,200
Yeah.
230
00:09:30,300 --> 00:09:31,200
Really?
231
00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:35,400
Wow.
232
00:09:36,700 --> 00:09:38,200
Today sucks.
233
00:09:41,500 --> 00:09:44,600
Look, Danny, whenever a door
closes, another opens, okay?
234
00:09:44,700 --> 00:09:45,700
You just have
to look for it.
235
00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:47,000
And, seriously,
you're gonna get
236
00:09:47,100 --> 00:09:49,100
the most insane
sympathy-rebound pussy.
237
00:09:49,300 --> 00:09:51,700
And this is a good
month for that, too.
238
00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:53,000
I don't want that.
239
00:09:53,100 --> 00:09:54,900
Look, just keep
it together, bro.
240
00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:56,700
Okay? We got one
more school.
241
00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:58,800
We go out, we'll have a few
brewskis, we'll talk this over.
242
00:09:58,900 --> 00:10:01,100
Just put your
game face on.
243
00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:06,800
Taste the beast!
Stay off drugs!
244
00:10:06,900 --> 00:10:08,200
Minotaur!
245
00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:13,700
Drugs. Why do
kids take drugs?
246
00:10:14,300 --> 00:10:15,800
'Cause they're awesome?
247
00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:19,200
No? Maybe they just
understand that life is pain,
248
00:10:19,300 --> 00:10:22,500
and if you smoke something or take
a pill, it'll go away for a while.
249
00:10:22,700 --> 00:10:24,700
I'll drink to that.
250
00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:26,300
Dude, dude, dude,
dude. Come on.
251
00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:27,900
No, no, no.
252
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:30,700
People say,
"Embrace life. Enjoy life.
253
00:10:31,900 --> 00:10:34,300
"Just do it!
Live it! Rock it!"
254
00:10:35,100 --> 00:10:37,500
Fuck it,
because life is horrible.
255
00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:40,900
You know, I may not be so
happy-go-lucky, but I'm a realist.
256
00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:42,900
Get ready to have
your dreams dashed, kids,
257
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:44,100
'cause nothing's
gonna work out
258
00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:46,300
the way you
think it's going to.
259
00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:50,400
Chin-chin. By the way,
this stuff's poison.
260
00:10:54,300 --> 00:10:56,500
Game face, bro.
Game face.
261
00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:58,500
What part of "game face"
do you not understand?
262
00:10:58,600 --> 00:10:59,500
What the...
263
00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:00,600
Hey, hey,
hey, hey!
264
00:11:00,700 --> 00:11:02,000
Dude, I thought we
could park here.
265
00:11:02,100 --> 00:11:03,400
And you thought wrong,
you furry faggot.
266
00:11:03,500 --> 00:11:05,100
Please, just flip
the switch and put it down.
267
00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:06,800
It's too late.
It's already up.
268
00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:07,900
Come on, please.
269
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:09,200
Put yourself in my shoes,
would you?
270
00:11:09,300 --> 00:11:10,800
Not my problem.
271
00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:13,100
Dude, please,
could you just be decent?
272
00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:14,500
I'm having a terrible day.
273
00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:18,500
Well, since you put it that
way, it's still not my problem.
274
00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:21,200
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
275
00:11:21,700 --> 00:11:23,100
Hey, man, can I ask
you a question?
276
00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:25,300
Get the fuck out
of the way, asshole!
277
00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:26,500
You want me to move?
278
00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:27,800
Game face, buddy.
279
00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:31,400
Danny?
280
00:11:33,300 --> 00:11:34,400
What's he doing?
281
00:11:34,500 --> 00:11:36,000
He's running.
We're running.
282
00:11:36,100 --> 00:11:37,400
We're running!
283
00:11:37,500 --> 00:11:38,800
No, no.
284
00:11:38,900 --> 00:11:42,000
Hey, what are you...
What are you... Get...
285
00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:45,000
I'm the guy that can't
enjoy life? Wrong!
286
00:11:45,100 --> 00:11:46,700
I'm gonna enjoy this!
Right!
287
00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:48,200
Wait, what?
288
00:11:51,500 --> 00:11:52,500
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
289
00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:54,300
Hey, man,
what you doing?
290
00:11:54,900 --> 00:11:55,900
Whoa, whoa! Danny!
291
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,000
Hey, man!
292
00:11:57,500 --> 00:11:59,200
Holy shit, man!
293
00:12:03,500 --> 00:12:04,600
Dude!
294
00:12:10,900 --> 00:12:13,000
Taste the beast!
295
00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:17,100
Stay off drugs.
296
00:12:17,700 --> 00:12:19,000
You guys are fucked.
297
00:12:19,100 --> 00:12:20,600
I told you, you asshole!
298
00:12:21,500 --> 00:12:23,200
Beth?
Yes, Wheeler?
299
00:12:23,300 --> 00:12:27,200
I just want to start by saying
I think you're amazing, okay?
300
00:12:27,300 --> 00:12:29,800
You're, like, beauty
and brains incarnate.
301
00:12:29,900 --> 00:12:32,400
So, FYI, there
you go. Okay?
302
00:12:32,500 --> 00:12:37,000
Now, that's that, so as far as this
goes, I didn't do anything here,
303
00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:38,900
so if you wouldn't mind,
you can clear my name,
304
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:40,000
and I can just walk
right out of here.
305
00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:43,600
Really? Because according to
this, you were a party to...
306
00:12:43,700 --> 00:12:45,600
A party to,
not the party.
307
00:12:45,700 --> 00:12:48,800
...reckless endangerment,
destruction of school property,
308
00:12:48,900 --> 00:12:51,600
obstructing a police officer,
attempted grand theft auto,
309
00:12:51,700 --> 00:12:53,900
disturbing the peace,
parking in a no-parking zone.
310
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:55,000
Did I ever tell
you you're a dick?
311
00:12:55,100 --> 00:12:56,100
Yeah. Earlier.
312
00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:58,300
And, Danny, they suspended
your license. Did you know that?
313
00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:00,100
Yeah. I figured they
would probably do that.
314
00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:02,600
I mean, did you guys
think this was funny?
315
00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,000
You know, if you think about
it, this is kind of your fault.
316
00:13:05,100 --> 00:13:06,200
My... How is
this my fault?
317
00:13:06,300 --> 00:13:07,900
It's your fault because
you just threw it all away,
318
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,400
and I came in here,
I proposed to you...
319
00:13:09,500 --> 00:13:11,000
Your proposal
was bullshit!
320
00:13:11,100 --> 00:13:12,300
But it was real.
It was from the heart!
321
00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:14,100
Shut up! Okay? Shut up!
322
00:13:14,700 --> 00:13:15,900
What's gonna happen?
323
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:17,900
They wanted to give you 30 days in jail.
324
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,100
What?
325
00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:21,000
But I worked my
magic on the judge,
326
00:13:21,100 --> 00:13:22,600
and instead,
over the next 30 days,
327
00:13:22,700 --> 00:13:25,000
you have to log 150 hours
of community service.
328
00:13:25,100 --> 00:13:27,400
Community service? What,
we got to clean toilets?
329
00:13:27,500 --> 00:13:28,800
No, you're going
to Sturdy Wings.
330
00:13:28,900 --> 00:13:30,300
It's the judge's
favorite organization.
331
00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:32,700
Yes, Wheeler?
332
00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:34,700
What the fuck
is Sturdy Wings?
333
00:13:34,900 --> 00:13:35,000
Sturdy Wings is
a simple concept.
334
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:37,500
Sturdy Wings is
a simple concept.
335
00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:40,400
We bring adults and children
together in a structured format
336
00:13:42,100 --> 00:13:43,200
to enhance the lives
of these children
337
00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:44,700
through
one-on-one friendships.
338
00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:46,800
People ask me,
"Gayle, how did you
339
00:13:46,900 --> 00:13:50,000
"come up with such
a life-altering program?"
340
00:13:50,100 --> 00:13:53,200
And I tell them I spent a
lot of time alone as a kid.
341
00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:55,900
My father was
a traveling salesman.
342
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:58,700
My mother, out of
necessity, was a whore.
343
00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:01,600
During adolescence,
I hungered for guidance
344
00:14:01,700 --> 00:14:04,400
from a committed,
caring adult.
345
00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:07,700
In my 20s and 30s, I suffered
through an endless cycle
346
00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:12,000
of failed relationships and
constant feelings of inadequacy.
347
00:14:13,100 --> 00:14:16,700
A mere 12 years ago,
I was a raging alcoholic.
348
00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:21,100
To make matters worse, I
had a massive drug addiction,
349
00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:24,600
no money, no job,
no hope.
350
00:14:25,400 --> 00:14:28,300
But at that moment,
I knew what I had to do.
351
00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:30,600
Used to be
addicted to pills.
352
00:14:30,700 --> 00:14:33,600
Now I'm addicted
to helping.
353
00:14:34,100 --> 00:14:35,900
And when you're
addicted to helping,
354
00:14:36,100 --> 00:14:37,600
you don't need
an intervention.
355
00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:41,600
Because sometimes in life,
everybody needs...
356
00:14:41,700 --> 00:14:43,200
Sturdy Wings!
Sturdy Wings!
357
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:46,100
A little lovin'
Yeah, yeah, yeah
358
00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:51,300
We need a little love
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
359
00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:54,300
A little lovin'
Yeah, yeah, yeah
360
00:14:55,700 --> 00:14:56,700
See, that's me?
361
00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:04,200
Okay, then.
362
00:15:04,300 --> 00:15:06,200
Welcome, everybody.
363
00:15:06,300 --> 00:15:10,800
You know, it's particularly exciting
for me to have a new batch of Bigs
364
00:15:10,900 --> 00:15:13,600
to match up with a new
group of kids, or Littles,
365
00:15:13,700 --> 00:15:15,600
as we call them
here at Sturdy Wings.
366
00:15:15,700 --> 00:15:17,200
I see a familiar face.
367
00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:18,700
Guilty as charged.
368
00:15:20,700 --> 00:15:22,100
I'd already prefer jail.
369
00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:24,600
All right. Let's move
right along here.
370
00:15:24,700 --> 00:15:26,200
Schedule-wise,
you can elect to spend
371
00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:27,900
as much time
with your Little...
372
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:29,700
Hey.
Or as little time.
373
00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:30,800
It takes a village.
374
00:15:30,900 --> 00:15:31,900
Hmm?
375
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:34,800
Hillary Clinton.
I'm sort of into politics.
376
00:15:34,900 --> 00:15:36,500
I'm sort of engaged.
377
00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:38,200
I sort of have a boner.
378
00:15:38,300 --> 00:15:39,900
Okay.
379
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:42,300
Got lots of handouts,
information to cover,
380
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:44,200
so let's get started.
381
00:15:44,300 --> 00:15:45,700
First time with
the program?
382
00:15:45,900 --> 00:15:47,300
Oh, God, really?
383
00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:48,900
Wheeler, switch with me.
No way, dude.
384
00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:52,000
Martin Gary. I can always spot a newbie.
385
00:15:52,900 --> 00:15:54,200
It's my fifth
year with Wings.
386
00:15:54,300 --> 00:15:56,500
I guess Paul McCartney's
got nothing on me, huh?
387
00:15:56,700 --> 00:15:58,200
Love, take me down
to the streets
388
00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:01,900
That's not a Wings' song.
389
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:03,700
Yeah, that's one of
their hits from the '70s.
390
00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:05,200
I'm not sure which one.
It's not a... It's not.
391
00:16:06,700 --> 00:16:07,800
It isn't?
No.
392
00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:09,600
I think it might be. No, it's
not. Nobody sings that song.
393
00:16:09,700 --> 00:16:11,000
I don't know about that.
I'll have to google it.
394
00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:14,800
That's right, some kids are
allergic to their own sweat.
395
00:16:14,900 --> 00:16:17,600
So probably best to put the
kibosh on physical activity.
396
00:16:17,700 --> 00:16:21,700
Maybe play a boardgame
or tell a knock, knock joke.
397
00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:22,800
Oh!
398
00:16:22,900 --> 00:16:23,900
Martin!
399
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:25,700
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
400
00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:27,200
Mike Snifferpipits.
401
00:16:27,300 --> 00:16:28,800
Mike Snifferpipits who?
402
00:16:28,900 --> 00:16:31,700
Mike Snifferpipits who? How many
Mike Snifferpipits do you know?
403
00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:34,000
Come on! Let me in.
It's cold out here!
404
00:16:34,300 --> 00:16:35,700
Jeez.
405
00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:37,800
Martin, come on up here.
406
00:16:37,900 --> 00:16:39,000
Let's do
a little dimostrazione.
407
00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:41,300
This...
408
00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:42,400
Ah!
409
00:16:42,500 --> 00:16:44,700
Perfectly acceptable hug
between a Little and a Big.
410
00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:46,000
Ooh, la la!
411
00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:49,600
This is not.
412
00:16:49,700 --> 00:16:52,500
Well, obviously we're not
supposed to butt-fuck these kids.
413
00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:54,100
Well, it looks like
I'm out of handouts.
414
00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:56,300
So why don't we take a little
break, get a cup of joe?
415
00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:58,300
I know I'm gonna put
mine right in here.
416
00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:02,200
And then when you come back, it'll
be time to meet... Drum roll, please.
417
00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:05,000
...your Little!
418
00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:15,500
I cannot wait
to meet mine.
419
00:17:15,700 --> 00:17:17,300
I'm going to take
them to the zoo,
420
00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:20,300
Because I heard
that the giant panda bear
421
00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:22,900
has a little
baby panda bear,
422
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,400
and there's
just nothing cuter
423
00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:26,000
than a little
baby panda bear...
424
00:17:26,100 --> 00:17:27,200
Yeah, I can't do this.
425
00:17:27,300 --> 00:17:28,700
Danny, stop.
426
00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:31,500
We will get raped in jail.
Do you understand?
427
00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:33,100
What's the point?
428
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:35,700
I mean, I've got
nothing to give a kid.
429
00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:37,400
If you were a kid, would
you want to hang out with me?
430
00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:38,700
Hey, do you want
to get raped?
431
00:17:38,900 --> 00:17:40,000
Hello, gentlemen.
432
00:17:40,100 --> 00:17:41,400
Hey.
433
00:17:41,500 --> 00:17:43,600
You probably heard that
out of context. Excuse me?
434
00:17:43,700 --> 00:17:47,000
When I asked my friend Danny
if he wanted to get raped.
435
00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:50,500
I want you both to listen
to me, okay? And listen good.
436
00:17:51,500 --> 00:17:55,200
I know why you're here,
so don't BS a BSer.
437
00:17:55,300 --> 00:17:59,500
Okay? Your "presence"
here, court-ordered.
438
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:02,400
Why did you put
"presence" in quotes?
439
00:18:02,500 --> 00:18:03,800
Are you implying
that we're not here?
440
00:18:03,900 --> 00:18:06,900
You know, one call
to the judge from me,
441
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:09,400
and you are in the slammer,
like M.C. Hammer.
442
00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:10,800
Did M.C. Hammer
go to prison?
443
00:18:10,900 --> 00:18:12,300
Yes, he did.
444
00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:14,200
Or he came
extremely close.
445
00:18:14,300 --> 00:18:17,600
I'm certain he filed for bankruptcy,
so don't BS me right now, okay?
446
00:18:17,700 --> 00:18:19,400
I don't understand.
How are we BSing you?
447
00:18:19,500 --> 00:18:22,400
Exactly. I'm BS-proof.
448
00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:25,100
Here's a couple
of time sheets.
449
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:28,600
You'll want your little buddies' parents
to sign them after each outing, okay?
450
00:18:28,700 --> 00:18:33,000
And that way, I can use my BS
flyswatter to swat away the flies
451
00:18:33,900 --> 00:18:35,700
that is your BS.
452
00:18:36,500 --> 00:18:38,400
Okay? Any questions?
453
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:42,300
Hey, little Littles,
your Bigs are here!
454
00:18:48,500 --> 00:18:50,400
Okay. That's good fun!
455
00:18:51,500 --> 00:18:54,000
Danny, your Little is elsewhere.
Why don't you come with me?
456
00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:56,300
Oh, man.
457
00:18:56,900 --> 00:19:00,100
I've heard of popcorn in the
face, but this is ridiculous.
458
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:10,200
Brothers in arms,
follow me!
459
00:19:12,500 --> 00:19:15,200
The evil King Argotron
has us cornered.
460
00:19:15,700 --> 00:19:19,200
My fair lady Esplen,
Goddess of Navalore.
461
00:19:19,300 --> 00:19:21,200
I fight for your honor.
462
00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:24,200
You wish to kiss me?
463
00:19:24,300 --> 00:19:26,700
There's precious
little time.
464
00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:28,500
What the hell.
465
00:19:35,100 --> 00:19:38,600
No! No. More later!
Now I must fight!
466
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:45,400
Your kid's name is Augie Farks, a
little older than most of the kids.
467
00:19:50,700 --> 00:19:51,600
Oh.
468
00:19:53,500 --> 00:19:54,400
Um, that...
469
00:19:54,700 --> 00:19:56,000
I wasn't really 100% yet.
470
00:19:56,100 --> 00:19:58,100
Don't judge me
by that move that...
471
00:19:58,200 --> 00:19:59,400
I'm not gonna get
in trouble, right?
472
00:19:59,500 --> 00:20:02,700
This is just... This is just soft foam
and duct tape. It can't harm anyone.
473
00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:03,800
No worries, my liege.
474
00:20:03,900 --> 00:20:05,000
Okay!
475
00:20:05,100 --> 00:20:07,300
This is Danny. He wants
to be your new friend.
476
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:08,900
So I'm gonna let you guys
get to know each other,
477
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,100
and I'll fade into the mist.
478
00:20:13,700 --> 00:20:15,200
How's it going?
479
00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:19,300
That's a nice routine
you worked out.
480
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:22,200
I hope you weren't
planning on slaying me.
481
00:20:26,700 --> 00:20:27,800
Wonderful.
482
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:30,400
Come on, Wheeler. Let's meet
your kid. His name's Ronnie.
483
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:33,100
He's one of our youngest.
Single mom, full-time job.
484
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:36,200
Signed him up about six weeks ago.
Matched him up with eight different Bigs.
485
00:20:36,300 --> 00:20:37,600
No one's lasted
more than a day,
486
00:20:37,700 --> 00:20:40,800
but I think you're perfect
because you're young, you're fun,
487
00:20:40,900 --> 00:20:42,000
and you don't
wanna go to prison.
488
00:20:42,100 --> 00:20:43,500
That's scary!
489
00:20:43,900 --> 00:20:44,900
Oh!
490
00:20:45,500 --> 00:20:49,000
And FYI, you're playing on
this girl's court now, okay?
491
00:20:49,100 --> 00:20:50,800
So you're playing by her
rules. Are you the coach?
492
00:20:50,900 --> 00:20:53,000
I am the coach. I'm the
coach, and I'm the point guard,
493
00:20:53,100 --> 00:20:56,800
I'm the two forwards, the
center, and I'm the other guard.
494
00:20:56,900 --> 00:20:59,100
I'm the entire
organization.
495
00:21:02,700 --> 00:21:05,400
Hey, there, Ronnie. How you doing
today? Doing a little drawing?
496
00:21:05,500 --> 00:21:07,000
That's cool.
497
00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:08,800
I want you to meet
someone really special.
498
00:21:08,900 --> 00:21:12,300
And I think you two dudes
are gonna become real homeys.
499
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:13,600
Ronnie, this is Anson.
500
00:21:13,700 --> 00:21:15,200
Wheeler's good.
501
00:21:15,300 --> 00:21:16,500
Whatever.
502
00:21:19,300 --> 00:21:21,600
Hey, big guy.
What you doing here?
503
00:21:21,700 --> 00:21:24,600
What up, Ronnie?
It's good to meet you.
504
00:21:30,100 --> 00:21:31,500
What you
drawing there?
505
00:21:31,700 --> 00:21:34,500
Oh. Beyonc๏ฟฝ.
She's smoking!
506
00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:36,000
I don't want to
take my pants off!
507
00:21:36,100 --> 00:21:37,900
What? Whoa, whoa!
508
00:21:38,300 --> 00:21:40,100
All right, Ronnie.
That's enough.
509
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:41,400
This bitch tried
to grab my joint!
510
00:21:41,500 --> 00:21:42,800
Language, Ronnie!
511
00:21:42,900 --> 00:21:44,400
My language is English!
512
00:21:44,500 --> 00:21:47,800
And this motherfucker tried
to grab on my hang-down.
513
00:21:47,900 --> 00:21:49,900
I got my own hang-down
to touch, kid.
514
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:51,700
Honky-ass wanted
a handful of my balls!
515
00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:53,300
Honky? That's racist.
516
00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:56,300
Well, I trust you two will work
this out. I'm not gonna micromanage.
517
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:58,400
Not my modus operandi.
518
00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:02,200
I have no idea what I'm
gonna do with this kid.
519
00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:06,000
Me, either. I bet if I suggested a game
of Quidditch, he'd come in his pants.
520
00:22:06,100 --> 00:22:08,300
I've been talking to him for half
an hour. Kid's barely said a word.
521
00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:10,200
Maybe we should just
go to jail. It's 30 days.
522
00:22:10,300 --> 00:22:11,200
Whoa!
523
00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:13,800
I don't know if this is some
kind of joke to you, Danny,
524
00:22:13,900 --> 00:22:15,900
but I actually
like my life, okay?
525
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:18,600
Now, if I go to jail, I'm
gonna lose my job. Listen.
526
00:22:18,700 --> 00:22:20,800
We go to prison, you're
never gonna get Beth back.
527
00:22:20,900 --> 00:22:24,000
We come home after 30 days, she's
banging her boss. I guarantee it.
528
00:22:24,100 --> 00:22:26,700
Really? She's gonna be
banging Patricia Feingold?
529
00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:27,800
Her boss is a chick?
530
00:22:27,900 --> 00:22:29,100
Oh, Jesus.
531
00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:32,300
Danny, just listen, okay? We're
a team. All right? You and me.
532
00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:35,100
We can do this. We just
got to stick together.
533
00:22:35,300 --> 00:22:36,800
Fine.
Good.
534
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:39,500
So, what do you
do with kids?
535
00:22:39,700 --> 00:22:44,600
Hey, kids! We Chip Monks just broke
our vow of silence, and we want to sing!
536
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:47,700
We are the monks
of chip monk Charlie's
537
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:50,000
We will give you food to eat
538
00:22:50,300 --> 00:22:52,600
And once it's in our tummies
539
00:22:52,700 --> 00:22:55,700
We will move
our chip monk feet
540
00:22:57,800 --> 00:23:00,100
We are the butts
of Chip Monk ass
541
00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:01,300
But we've got the ass...
542
00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:02,400
Come on! Sit down!
543
00:23:02,500 --> 00:23:04,900
All right?
Please. Danny.
544
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:06,500
I like Ronnie's
version better.
545
00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:09,900
I like how it evokes
the concept of ass and butt.
546
00:23:10,900 --> 00:23:12,200
Okay. Thanks.
547
00:23:12,300 --> 00:23:14,200
Don't throw shit,
Ronnie. Come on.
548
00:23:14,300 --> 00:23:16,700
How many hours
do we have left?
549
00:23:17,700 --> 00:23:19,800
So, do you
like Coca-Cola?
550
00:23:19,900 --> 00:23:22,700
I like the idea of it
more than I actually like it.
551
00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:25,100
Ooh! They got
chicken fingers.
552
00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:27,400
I'm gonna run a train
on these chicken fingers.
553
00:23:27,500 --> 00:23:28,700
I'm just gonna be like...
554
00:23:30,500 --> 00:23:33,900
Let me guess. You're not really rolling
with the ladies in school, are you, Augie?
555
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:38,300
Oh, no. I'm really good friends with
the school nurse. She's a divorc๏ฟฝe.
556
00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:42,700
So, Aug, it's a pretty
interesting cape.
557
00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:44,700
Are you like a
superhero or something?
558
00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:46,400
Yeah, I wish.
559
00:23:46,500 --> 00:23:49,300
No, this is... This is part
of my battle attire for Laire.
560
00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:50,400
What the hell is Laire?
561
00:23:50,500 --> 00:23:53,000
It's this fantasy world
where anything is possible.
562
00:23:53,100 --> 00:23:55,000
One minute you could be
sparring with an elf,
563
00:23:55,100 --> 00:23:58,400
and the next you could be battling
against a troll who wants nothing more
564
00:23:58,500 --> 00:24:01,500
than just to steal your gold
and leave you penniless!
565
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:02,700
Sounds gay.
566
00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:04,100
No, no.
There's girls there.
567
00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:05,100
Girls can be gay.
568
00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:07,700
If by gay you mean
the old English definition
569
00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:12,000
of "fun, enjoyable and carefree,"
then, yes, it's extremely gay.
570
00:24:12,100 --> 00:24:14,000
I think they meant
the other definition.
571
00:24:14,100 --> 00:24:17,200
I know, but to understand it, you
really have to see it for yourself.
572
00:24:17,300 --> 00:24:18,400
Okay.
573
00:24:20,100 --> 00:24:21,600
Hey, pick us up
in two hours.
574
00:24:21,700 --> 00:24:23,700
Fuck you, Miss Daisy!
575
00:24:29,500 --> 00:24:31,000
So, Augie, why do
they call it Laire?
576
00:24:31,100 --> 00:24:33,500
It's Live Action Interactive
Role-playing Explorers.
577
00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:34,900
We're all divided
into countries,
578
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:37,500
fighting a never-ending war
to control the realm.
579
00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:41,100
Or until they have to clear
you out for soccer practice.
580
00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:42,800
Oh!
581
00:24:42,900 --> 00:24:44,800
Greetings, nobleman!
582
00:24:46,100 --> 00:24:49,400
Any friend of Blufgan's
is a friend of Kuzzik,
583
00:24:49,500 --> 00:24:52,800
fifth son of Leponius,
earl of Ringor.
584
00:24:52,900 --> 00:24:55,500
Diana has put
her bosom away.
585
00:24:55,700 --> 00:24:59,000
Apollo has lifted his skirt.
The day has been launched.
586
00:24:59,100 --> 00:25:02,900
May I present to you
my vassal, Artonius?
587
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:03,900
Greetings, friends.
588
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:05,200
Greetings.
589
00:25:05,300 --> 00:25:10,300
Tell me, Blufgan, art thou
preparing for the Battle Royale?
590
00:25:10,900 --> 00:25:12,300
'Tis a mere month away.
591
00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:13,600
Aye, my lord.
592
00:25:13,700 --> 00:25:15,100
Huzzah, huzzah!
593
00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:18,600
Godspeed, Blufgan,
and all hail Xanthia!
594
00:25:18,700 --> 00:25:20,300
Hail, Xanthia!
Hail, Xanthia!
595
00:25:20,900 --> 00:25:22,800
Rub-a-dub-dub!
596
00:25:25,900 --> 00:25:27,300
What the fuck just
happened there?
597
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:28,500
They're my kinsmen.
598
00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:29,900
We're all from Xanthia.
599
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:32,800
We're a smaller country, but
we're no Cacedonia, Danny.
600
00:25:32,900 --> 00:25:34,900
Ow! Don't hit so hard!
Okay.
601
00:25:36,300 --> 00:25:37,300
Hi, Blufgan.
602
00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:38,600
Hey! Hey, Esplen.
603
00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:42,200
Blufgan! Blufgan!
Blufgan!
604
00:25:42,300 --> 00:25:43,900
Blufgan!
605
00:25:46,100 --> 00:25:48,600
All right, Gleebo.
One more.
606
00:25:52,500 --> 00:25:54,400
I should have never started
feeding the goddamn elves.
607
00:25:54,500 --> 00:25:55,800
Jesus Christ.
608
00:25:55,900 --> 00:25:57,100
Hey, master handler.
609
00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:02,700
Whoa! Who's that dork?
610
00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:04,200
That's the king.
611
00:26:04,700 --> 00:26:08,500
Well, I should have guessed. Nothing
says royalty like The Burger Hole.
612
00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:11,100
Yeah, he and his lackeys eat
there before every battle.
613
00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:13,300
His majesty approaches.
Oh, crap!
614
00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:14,700
His royalty approaches!
615
00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:16,400
Long live the king.
616
00:26:16,700 --> 00:26:17,900
What are you doing?
617
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:19,700
You have to kneel
before the king.
618
00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:23,200
Bow down, little girl. Little
girl, bow down, bow down.
619
00:26:23,300 --> 00:26:24,400
Why?
620
00:26:24,500 --> 00:26:26,000
Because he's the king.
I beg you!
621
00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:32,500
No.
622
00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:33,800
Damn it.
623
00:26:37,900 --> 00:26:40,700
Hey, pull over to the
mini-mart and get me some OJ,
624
00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:42,800
and not that
from-concentrate shit.
625
00:26:42,900 --> 00:26:44,200
Would it kill you
to say please?
626
00:26:44,300 --> 00:26:45,800
It might.
627
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:49,600
"Concentrate. Not from
concentrate. Pulp. Low pulp.
628
00:26:49,700 --> 00:26:51,200
"Lots of pulp. "
629
00:26:51,300 --> 00:26:52,500
Well, well, well.
630
00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:56,200
Hey. Fancy meeting you here.
What, are you stalking me?
631
00:26:57,500 --> 00:27:00,000
Had to get my bagel-dog
fix. So how's little Ronnie?
632
00:27:00,100 --> 00:27:03,200
Oh, you were right about us
being a great match. Yeah.
633
00:27:03,300 --> 00:27:06,500
You know, like at Christmas when you
get a gift? That's what Ronnie is.
634
00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:09,000
A gift. I love him so much.
635
00:27:09,300 --> 00:27:12,400
Wow. Well,
that's very nice.
636
00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:16,500
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I gots to get my Slurpee on.
637
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:18,900
Well, watch this though first.
638
00:27:19,900 --> 00:27:22,600
Look at that.
What does that look like?
639
00:27:24,900 --> 00:27:26,000
Okay.
640
00:27:32,700 --> 00:27:33,800
Open the door, Ronnie.
641
00:27:33,900 --> 00:27:35,900
You forgot to say "please. "
642
00:27:36,900 --> 00:27:40,500
Please open the door,
or I'll pour your juice out.
643
00:27:41,100 --> 00:27:43,500
I don't drink
juice, biatch!
644
00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:45,500
Come on. Hey. Ronnie.
645
00:27:49,700 --> 00:27:52,700
Oh, no. Don't turn that
engine on. I swear to God...
646
00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:58,200
Okay. Okay.
Joke's over, buddy.
647
00:27:58,300 --> 00:27:59,900
No, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no!
648
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:01,000
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
649
00:28:02,100 --> 00:28:05,400
Good one! Good one, Ronnie!
Now open the fucking door!
650
00:28:05,500 --> 00:28:07,400
Ronnie! What are you doing?
651
00:28:07,500 --> 00:28:08,800
Dude, dude, dude, dude,
dude, dude, dude, dude!
652
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:11,500
What are you doing?
653
00:28:14,700 --> 00:28:16,400
Baby! Yeah!
654
00:28:18,500 --> 00:28:20,300
Don't you run me over!
655
00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:21,700
Oh, no!
656
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:24,300
Ouch! Watch it!
657
00:28:25,500 --> 00:28:26,900
Hey!
658
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:29,900
Oh, yeah. So good.
Good times.
659
00:28:34,100 --> 00:28:35,600
You're on
thin ice, buddy.
660
00:28:35,700 --> 00:28:36,900
Then quit.
661
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:38,400
I never quit.
662
00:28:38,500 --> 00:28:40,500
Give me my
damn juice.
663
00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:42,700
Oh, this juice?
Yeah, that juice.
664
00:28:48,300 --> 00:28:49,500
Fucking asshole.
665
00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:50,900
Punk bitch.
666
00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:53,000
The lad had seasoned his mutton
with wine berry and not mead!
667
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:55,000
The lad had seasoned his mutton
with wine berry and not mead!
668
00:28:57,200 --> 00:29:01,400
Hey, did you see that spell of
unbreakable madness I casted on those orcs?
669
00:29:01,500 --> 00:29:03,200
I don't think so.
670
00:29:03,900 --> 00:29:06,100
The length of a moon,
hence "honeymoon. "
671
00:29:07,900 --> 00:29:10,800
Eight hours down,
142 to go.
672
00:29:10,900 --> 00:29:12,600
This sucks ass.
673
00:29:12,700 --> 00:29:15,700
Dude, I just spent the
afternoon in Middle-earth
674
00:29:15,900 --> 00:29:18,300
with glee-glop and the
floopty-doos, all right?
675
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:19,400
Give me a fucking break.
676
00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:20,900
I got fucking carjacked.
677
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:22,400
Yeah? Well, I got dumped.
678
00:29:22,500 --> 00:29:23,900
You deserved it!
679
00:29:24,900 --> 00:29:26,500
I hate your face.
680
00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:28,700
I hate your face.
681
00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:38,400
Ronnie! Ronnie!
Take the wheel!
682
00:29:38,500 --> 00:29:39,600
Yeah.
What are you doing?
683
00:29:39,700 --> 00:29:41,400
That is not safe!
He can't drive!
684
00:29:41,500 --> 00:29:42,500
This is unsafe.
685
00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:43,800
Okay, stop! Stop! Okay!
686
00:29:43,900 --> 00:29:46,500
What the fuck?
I'm driving! What...
687
00:29:48,900 --> 00:29:49,900
Oh, my God!
688
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:51,300
Nice. Look what
you started.
689
00:29:51,400 --> 00:29:52,800
Happy now?
I'm gonna kill you!
690
00:29:52,900 --> 00:29:54,500
What did I do?
691
00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:05,200
So I guess I'll pick you
up tomorrow around 9:00?
692
00:30:05,300 --> 00:30:06,800
Uh, could we make it 10:00?
693
00:30:06,900 --> 00:30:09,500
Kid, you wanna spend
some hours together or not?
694
00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:12,700
Dude, if I'm gonna have to chauffeur
your asses around, let's make it 10:00.
695
00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:13,800
Yeah.
696
00:30:13,900 --> 00:30:16,300
Hey, Danny, you wanna
come see my turtle?
697
00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:17,900
I'm fine.
698
00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:25,100
Of course he
has a turtle.
699
00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:32,200
See you tomorrow, Ronnie.
700
00:30:32,300 --> 00:30:33,600
Fuck you, Anson!
701
00:30:33,700 --> 00:30:34,800
Never gets old.
702
00:30:34,900 --> 00:30:36,100
Wait, wait, wait.
703
00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:37,500
You bitch!
704
00:30:51,700 --> 00:30:53,300
Oh, my God.
She's moving out.
705
00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:55,300
Dude, that's harsh.
706
00:30:57,400 --> 00:30:58,500
Shit.
707
00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:00,800
Wow, you weren't
kidding around.
708
00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:02,300
Yeah, I'm sorry.
709
00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:04,300
I wanted to be gone
by the time you got home.
710
00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:07,300
No, it's all right.
This is better, you know.
711
00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:10,600
Now we get to share the
moment with Wheeler and...
712
00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:13,000
Becca and Sarah.
713
00:31:13,100 --> 00:31:14,300
Yeah, and Becca
and Sarah.
714
00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:16,300
Who you've met,
like, 127 times.
715
00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:18,300
I know.
Keys.
716
00:31:19,300 --> 00:31:22,200
Beth, come on.
You don't have to do this.
717
00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:25,100
I left you the Crock-Pot.
718
00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:27,400
I know you like chili.
719
00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:41,200
I know it's really hard for you right
now, but I just want you to know that
720
00:31:41,300 --> 00:31:44,000
when you love something,
you set it free,
721
00:31:44,100 --> 00:31:47,100
and if it's meant
to be, you just...
722
00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:50,900
You take it back,
and it comes...
723
00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:52,800
Yeah, I know where
you're going with it.
724
00:31:52,900 --> 00:31:56,900
Yeah, and if she doesn't come back, I'd
go for that friend of hers in the sweater.
725
00:31:57,000 --> 00:32:01,000
I know she's a few pounds overweight,
but, you know, in my experience,
726
00:32:01,100 --> 00:32:04,300
it's the bigger ones that
do way more stuff.
727
00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:05,400
Good talk, Wheeler.
728
00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:07,200
Pick you up at 10:00.
729
00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:18,800
Hi, Ronnie.
730
00:32:18,900 --> 00:32:20,500
How are you today?
What are you doing here?
731
00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:21,900
I told you I'd pick
you up at 10:00, right?
732
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:23,200
But I thought
you'd pussy out.
733
00:32:23,300 --> 00:32:27,700
Well, you see? It's wonderful. We're
learning so much about each other.
734
00:32:34,100 --> 00:32:36,200
Hey! You must be Wheeler.
735
00:32:36,300 --> 00:32:37,900
I'm Karen.
Hi, Karen.
736
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:39,900
Wow, you look way too young
to be Ronnie's mother.
737
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:41,400
What are you,
the babysitter?
738
00:32:41,500 --> 00:32:43,100
You're funny.
739
00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:45,700
You're gonna need that sense of humor
if you're gonna keep up with my son.
740
00:32:45,900 --> 00:32:48,600
It's about time Sturdy Wings
found someone who could.
741
00:32:48,700 --> 00:32:52,800
Yeah, well, I think that
Ronnie's a great little dude.
742
00:32:52,900 --> 00:32:55,500
"A great little dude"?
You're cute.
743
00:32:57,100 --> 00:32:58,300
You ready, pal?
744
00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:00,100
I ain't your pal, vanilla.
745
00:33:00,600 --> 00:33:02,700
Karen, would you mind
signing my hours sheet?
746
00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:04,300
Sure.
Great.
747
00:33:05,700 --> 00:33:06,900
Well.
748
00:33:07,900 --> 00:33:09,500
All right.
You boys have fun.
749
00:33:09,700 --> 00:33:12,100
His idea of fun is a
fucking pottery class, yo.
750
00:33:12,300 --> 00:33:15,800
Hey. Hey, hey. Watch
your mouth, little man.
751
00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:18,700
I love you.
752
00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:20,000
I love you, too.
753
00:33:25,500 --> 00:33:27,000
I got shotgun!
754
00:33:29,500 --> 00:33:31,500
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
755
00:33:31,600 --> 00:33:33,600
Stop. Who are you?
What do you want?
756
00:33:33,700 --> 00:33:36,700
I'm Danny from Sturdy Wings.
I'm here for Augie.
757
00:33:36,800 --> 00:33:40,000
Oh. I'm sorry. Augie, right.
He'll be out in a minute.
758
00:33:40,100 --> 00:33:41,500
Let me ask you something,
759
00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:44,300
because you're one of these guys
that's good with kids, right?
760
00:33:44,400 --> 00:33:46,300
Yeah. Totally.
761
00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:48,000
'Cause, the kid, man,
I don't get it.
762
00:33:48,100 --> 00:33:50,100
He's into dragons
and fairies
763
00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:51,700
and, you know, hoboes.
764
00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:52,800
Right.
765
00:33:52,900 --> 00:33:54,900
So, I mean, what am I
supposed to say to him?
766
00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:56,000
Yeah. I don't know. I don't...
767
00:33:56,100 --> 00:33:59,000
Hey, but while I've got you
here in my personal space,
768
00:33:59,100 --> 00:34:01,700
I was wondering if you could maybe
sign off on my hours from yesterday.
769
00:34:01,800 --> 00:34:03,800
Oh, no, I don't...
I'm not the kid's parent.
770
00:34:03,900 --> 00:34:07,000
No, that's... Parental signatures
are mama's department. One second.
771
00:34:07,100 --> 00:34:10,500
Lynette! Augie's little buddy's
here. He needs your signature.
772
00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:13,100
Oh! Hi!
Hi.
773
00:34:13,200 --> 00:34:14,800
I'm Lynette.
I'm Danny.
774
00:34:14,900 --> 00:34:16,200
So good to meet you.
You, too.
775
00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:19,500
I was wondering if you could maybe
sign my hours sheet from yesterday.
776
00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:20,700
Sure!
777
00:34:21,300 --> 00:34:26,100
You know, we are so thrilled that you are
gonna be spending some time with Augie,
778
00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:30,300
because, you know,
just how he is.
779
00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:32,600
How is he?
780
00:34:32,700 --> 00:34:36,800
I'm just glad you're gonna be getting
him out of his own little world a bit.
781
00:34:36,900 --> 00:34:39,700
It's like, "Get out of here!
Leave home!"
782
00:34:40,500 --> 00:34:42,600
Hey, why don't you come over
for dinner on Saturday night,
783
00:34:42,700 --> 00:34:44,400
and we can get to know you
a little bit better?
784
00:34:44,500 --> 00:34:48,500
I don't think so. It's not you.
I hate having dinner with people.
785
00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:49,700
Hey, Augie, ready to...
786
00:34:49,800 --> 00:34:50,800
Yeah, let's go.
Yeah.
787
00:34:57,600 --> 00:34:58,700
I think
they're over here.
788
00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:00,800
I'm disappointed. This
isn't gonna hurt anybody.
789
00:35:03,100 --> 00:35:05,200
So, your parents... Wow.
790
00:35:05,400 --> 00:35:07,000
Jim is not my dad.
791
00:35:07,600 --> 00:35:10,700
Okay. Well, that's
probably good.
792
00:35:11,900 --> 00:35:14,900
Hey, hey, Odeon. Make
way for King Argotron!
793
00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:19,500
Dude.
794
00:35:22,700 --> 00:35:24,900
Bow as your daughter does.
795
00:35:26,300 --> 00:35:27,600
Xanthians.
796
00:35:28,200 --> 00:35:29,600
Why bother?
797
00:35:30,500 --> 00:35:32,000
Good one, sir.
798
00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:36,800
Man, why do you
bow for that guy?
799
00:35:36,900 --> 00:35:39,300
Because he's the king, and
he rules the entire realm.
800
00:35:39,400 --> 00:35:41,200
He rules the entire realm?
Yeah.
801
00:35:41,300 --> 00:35:45,600
My bad. Is that when he is or
isn't whacking it to The Sims?
802
00:35:46,700 --> 00:35:49,200
You know, Augie, maybe you should
think about losing the cape.
803
00:35:49,300 --> 00:35:51,000
At least in public.
804
00:35:51,100 --> 00:35:53,600
People tend to avoid
people in capes.
805
00:35:53,700 --> 00:35:56,000
I know that's not
the case here.
806
00:35:56,800 --> 00:35:58,600
Look at these people.
807
00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:05,700
I like these people.
No, I know.
808
00:36:05,900 --> 00:36:09,400
But, you know, this isn't
reality. It's not the real world.
809
00:36:09,500 --> 00:36:12,900
I know that, but in this
world, I don't have to be me.
810
00:36:14,100 --> 00:36:16,100
I'm stuck again!
811
00:36:16,200 --> 00:36:18,500
Well, looks like maybe one of
your people could use a hand.
812
00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:21,500
Help! Help! Help!
Her, I don't like.
813
00:36:30,400 --> 00:36:32,300
Okay. This is my place.
814
00:36:32,900 --> 00:36:34,300
Shit hole.
815
00:36:35,600 --> 00:36:39,300
Look, kid, you're obviously not
a big fan of me, and that's okay,
816
00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:41,100
but I think there's
something to be gained
817
00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:44,300
from us spending 139
more hours together.
818
00:36:45,100 --> 00:36:46,300
Yeah.
819
00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:50,100
You know, my dad left me
when I was young,
820
00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:52,200
so I know it sucks,
821
00:36:52,300 --> 00:36:55,500
but what doesn't kill us
makes us stronger, right?
822
00:36:55,600 --> 00:36:58,300
Says the punk living
in the shit hole.
823
00:36:59,900 --> 00:37:01,000
Who are these clowns?
824
00:37:01,100 --> 00:37:02,100
Kiss?
825
00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:03,500
You don't know who Kiss is?
826
00:37:03,700 --> 00:37:05,100
No. Never heard of them.
827
00:37:05,300 --> 00:37:06,400
They look like
idiots to me.
828
00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:07,500
No, no, no, dude.
829
00:37:07,700 --> 00:37:09,700
These are four of the
smartest guys who ever lived.
830
00:37:09,800 --> 00:37:12,000
They're these Jewish guys
that grew up in New York,
831
00:37:12,100 --> 00:37:14,200
and they put on guitars
and makeup to get girls,
832
00:37:14,300 --> 00:37:16,000
and all of their songs
are about fucking!
833
00:37:16,100 --> 00:37:17,800
I'm listening.
834
00:37:21,900 --> 00:37:26,200
Seriously, this song is called Love
Gun, and it's about Paul Stanley's dick
835
00:37:26,300 --> 00:37:28,900
and how this girl's gonna
get some of his dick!
836
00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:30,300
Cool.
837
00:37:30,400 --> 00:37:31,700
I didn't know Jews
could sing like that.
838
00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:36,000
No. No. They couldn't at the time.
That's why they had to dress like clowns.
839
00:37:36,100 --> 00:37:37,300
This got them girls?
840
00:37:37,500 --> 00:37:40,900
Get this! They've been getting
pussy nonstop for 30 years!
841
00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:43,100
They're probably fucking right
now, and they're old dudes!
842
00:37:43,300 --> 00:37:45,000
They put makeup on,
and it's all good!
843
00:37:45,100 --> 00:37:46,200
No shit?
844
00:37:46,300 --> 00:37:50,100
You pull the trigger of my
845
00:37:51,200 --> 00:37:52,400
Love gun
846
00:37:52,500 --> 00:37:54,800
You see, Ronnie?
His dick is the gun!
847
00:37:57,700 --> 00:37:59,600
Love gun
848
00:38:00,600 --> 00:38:01,700
Love gun
849
00:38:01,700 --> 00:38:02,700
Love gun
850
00:38:04,100 --> 00:38:06,600
Okay, we logged 14
hours this weekend.
851
00:38:06,700 --> 00:38:08,100
That's not gonna
be enough.
852
00:38:08,200 --> 00:38:11,300
Somehow we gotta get them
on the weekdays, too.
853
00:38:11,400 --> 00:38:14,400
Hey, we could pretend to be their
uncles, pull them out of school.
854
00:38:14,500 --> 00:38:16,000
That just sounds
kind of creepy.
855
00:38:16,100 --> 00:38:17,300
Yeah, I guess.
856
00:38:17,400 --> 00:38:20,000
Hey! Sexy like a
chocolate strawberry.
857
00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:24,000
What's her problem?
858
00:38:24,100 --> 00:38:25,200
I don't know.
859
00:38:25,300 --> 00:38:27,000
I mean, you laid that
genius line on her.
860
00:38:27,100 --> 00:38:28,500
I can't believe she
didn't take your bait.
861
00:38:28,600 --> 00:38:29,800
I know, right?
862
00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:32,200
Well, well, well.
863
00:38:32,300 --> 00:38:34,900
If it isn't Mr. Bullshit
and Dr. I'm-full-of-shit.
864
00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:36,100
In what way
are we full of shit?
865
00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:37,700
Which one of us
has the Ph. D?
866
00:38:37,800 --> 00:38:39,900
So how was your first
weekend with the boys?
867
00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:43,700
It was great. We did 14 hours.
Will you sign our sheets?
868
00:38:43,800 --> 00:38:46,400
Maybe give us a few more, just
for kicks? Round it up to 50?
869
00:38:46,500 --> 00:38:48,200
Don't you sass me.
870
00:38:48,300 --> 00:38:51,800
What, do you think I'm a pushover? You
know what I used to eat for breakfast?
871
00:38:51,900 --> 00:38:53,100
Cocaine.
872
00:38:53,600 --> 00:38:56,300
You know what I
used to eat for lunch?
873
00:38:56,800 --> 00:38:57,900
Cocaine.
874
00:38:58,000 --> 00:38:59,600
What'd you have for
dinner? Was it cocaine?
875
00:38:59,700 --> 00:39:04,600
I will sign your sheets, but you need to
know I am not here to service your hours.
876
00:39:04,700 --> 00:39:07,400
I'm here to service
these young boys.
877
00:39:07,500 --> 00:39:11,100
Do you think I give a shit
if you guys go to prison?
878
00:39:11,200 --> 00:39:13,100
I've been to prison. I have.
879
00:39:13,200 --> 00:39:15,100
I've been to prison.
880
00:39:15,500 --> 00:39:20,300
A prison of drugs, alcohol
and sick thoughts.
881
00:39:20,600 --> 00:39:22,700
I used to have sick thoughts.
882
00:39:22,900 --> 00:39:25,000
So don't you come in here,
883
00:39:25,100 --> 00:39:27,900
preaching to me about hours
884
00:39:28,700 --> 00:39:33,100
when you're standing over there,
and you're standing over there,
885
00:39:33,200 --> 00:39:35,200
and I don't know
which way is up!
886
00:39:35,300 --> 00:39:36,600
Um...
Should we come back?
887
00:39:36,700 --> 00:39:37,900
We can come back.
Yeah.
888
00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:39,500
Come here.
889
00:39:40,100 --> 00:39:43,000
We're having an overnight camping
trip, Big Bear this weekend.
890
00:39:43,100 --> 00:39:46,100
I suggest that you ask
your Littles to go with you.
891
00:39:46,200 --> 00:39:49,000
Maybe worry a little bit about them
and not so much about your hours.
892
00:39:49,100 --> 00:39:51,000
Overnight?
That's great. Sign us up.
893
00:39:51,200 --> 00:39:52,700
And, fellas,
will you do me a favor?
894
00:39:52,800 --> 00:39:55,200
Next time you
want to bullshit me,
895
00:39:55,800 --> 00:39:58,400
bullshit each
other instead, okay?
896
00:39:59,700 --> 00:40:01,500
See how that feels.
897
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:03,900
Okay.
Yep.
898
00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:05,600
Okay. Okay.
Okay.
899
00:40:06,300 --> 00:40:07,700
All right.
900
00:40:08,800 --> 00:40:09,900
I hate camping.
901
00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:11,400
You could use a little
dose of the outdoors.
902
00:40:11,500 --> 00:40:14,800
Camping blows. It's dirty, and
I don't like sleeping on rocks.
903
00:40:14,900 --> 00:40:16,800
Bring some Ambien.
You'll sleep like a baby.
904
00:40:16,900 --> 00:40:20,700
There's always a guy with an acoustic guitar
that doesn't quite know how to play it.
905
00:40:21,600 --> 00:40:23,200
Kumbaya, my...
906
00:40:23,300 --> 00:40:24,300
Wait. I know it.
907
00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:25,400
Kumbaya
908
00:40:25,500 --> 00:40:27,800
You know.
Wait. I know it. Wait.
909
00:40:28,100 --> 00:40:30,700
Kumbaya, my Lord
910
00:40:32,500 --> 00:40:35,200
No. Wait.
Oh, yeah, I got it.
911
00:40:35,300 --> 00:40:36,300
This is it.
912
00:40:37,300 --> 00:40:39,400
I think that's got it.
913
00:40:41,100 --> 00:40:42,400
God damn it, Ronnie!
914
00:40:42,500 --> 00:40:44,200
What? 'Cause I'm black,
you think I did it?
915
00:40:44,300 --> 00:40:47,400
No, 'cause you did it
is why I think you did it.
916
00:40:48,700 --> 00:40:51,200
Let me tell you something. I am
not your Big, and I'll hit you.
917
00:40:51,300 --> 00:40:52,200
I will hit a child.
918
00:40:52,300 --> 00:40:54,400
I've never done that before,
but I will punch you in the face.
919
00:40:54,500 --> 00:40:55,800
Let's dance,
Ben Affleck!
920
00:40:55,900 --> 00:40:57,400
Ronnie! Leave him alone.
921
00:40:57,500 --> 00:40:58,500
Fine!
922
00:40:58,600 --> 00:41:00,500
But I'm watching
you, Daredevil.
923
00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:03,500
Looks like you guys
could use a hand up here.
924
00:41:05,200 --> 00:41:06,900
Come on, man!
Just having some fun.
925
00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:08,400
Let's take a hike.
Thank you.
926
00:41:08,500 --> 00:41:12,400
Don't worry. Once the little ones are
asleep, I'll break out the PG stuff.
927
00:41:12,500 --> 00:41:13,900
Kumbaya, huh?
928
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:15,300
You don't happen to
know any Wings, do you?
929
00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:16,700
Wings? Yeah.
930
00:41:17,100 --> 00:41:19,000
Love, take me down
to the streets
931
00:41:19,100 --> 00:41:20,500
Yeah!
932
00:41:21,300 --> 00:41:24,300
Man! She got some
boobies on her!
933
00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:26,000
You sure do like
boobies, Ronnie.
934
00:41:26,100 --> 00:41:27,100
I sure do.
935
00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:29,900
Sometimes I call myself
the Booby Watcher.
936
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:33,400
Even got my own comic book.
Adventures of the Booby Watcher.
937
00:41:33,500 --> 00:41:36,000
Okay. You know, I got
a theory about boobies.
938
00:41:36,100 --> 00:41:37,500
Really?
Yeah.
939
00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:39,500
You see, there are as many women
as there are men on this planet.
940
00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:40,700
True that, true that.
941
00:41:40,800 --> 00:41:44,300
And every woman has two
boobs, for the most part.
942
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:47,700
So therefore, there's twice
as many boobs as there are men.
943
00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:49,700
We're outnumbered,
and it's overwhelming.
944
00:41:49,800 --> 00:41:52,100
We're powerless.
We have to accept it.
945
00:41:52,200 --> 00:41:54,800
I like your take
on boobies.
946
00:41:55,400 --> 00:41:57,200
And I like boobies.
947
00:41:57,300 --> 00:41:58,800
Kid, you got a lot to learn.
948
00:41:58,900 --> 00:42:00,000
I know what I'm doing.
Really?
949
00:42:00,100 --> 00:42:01,700
So you're aware that you've
committed one of the most
950
00:42:01,800 --> 00:42:02,700
common rookie
boob-watching errors?
951
00:42:04,500 --> 00:42:05,600
What you mean?
952
00:42:05,700 --> 00:42:06,700
Never stare at
the boobies, kid.
953
00:42:06,800 --> 00:42:09,400
Yeah, once you get caught,
the game's over.
954
00:42:09,700 --> 00:42:11,500
But how?
It's called training.
955
00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:14,100
You know, being aware
without drawing attention.
956
00:42:14,200 --> 00:42:16,900
You don't think I've noticed the
34-C's in the camouflage tank top
957
00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:18,700
setting up the tent
directly to the left of us?
958
00:42:18,800 --> 00:42:22,200
How about those twin cannons hiking up
the mountain ridge 50 yards due west?
959
00:42:22,300 --> 00:42:23,500
Or the ridge itself?
960
00:42:23,700 --> 00:42:25,000
Round mounds of
grass shaped like...
961
00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:26,800
Boobies!
962
00:42:26,900 --> 00:42:27,900
Don't look over there.
Look here.
963
00:42:28,700 --> 00:42:31,200
Yeah, focus.
You'll get it.
964
00:42:31,500 --> 00:42:34,600
Too bad old Sweeny herself
couldn't come up here for this trip.
965
00:42:34,700 --> 00:42:35,700
That would have
been fun, huh?
966
00:42:35,800 --> 00:42:36,900
Yeah. A real blast.
967
00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:39,600
Yeah, she probably just
had to hold down the fort.
968
00:42:40,800 --> 00:42:42,600
You got a thing
for Sweeny, Martin?
969
00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:46,900
Sweeney? Me? No. Now
that is a knee slapper.
970
00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:48,600
Your erection is showing.
971
00:42:48,800 --> 00:42:49,800
What?
972
00:42:52,300 --> 00:42:53,300
You okay?
973
00:42:56,700 --> 00:42:58,600
Nature.
974
00:42:58,900 --> 00:43:02,500
Did you know that bald eagles are known
to engage in a bizarre mating ritual
975
00:43:02,600 --> 00:43:05,200
where two eagles fly upwards,
lock talons,
976
00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:08,500
then fall towards the earth
while rotating,
977
00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:10,600
separating moments before
they crash into the ground,
978
00:43:10,900 --> 00:43:13,700
if, and only if, they
consummate their bird fuck?
979
00:43:14,400 --> 00:43:18,200
If they don't, they're willing
to accept death by hard ground.
980
00:43:18,900 --> 00:43:20,800
It's the ultimate race
against the clock.
981
00:43:20,900 --> 00:43:22,200
Why are you
telling me this?
982
00:43:22,300 --> 00:43:23,900
Why would I not?
983
00:43:32,900 --> 00:43:34,600
Hi, Danny.
984
00:43:34,700 --> 00:43:36,700
I forgot to tell you,
they'll be telling
985
00:43:37,900 --> 00:43:39,000
Ghost stories later.
986
00:43:39,100 --> 00:43:40,100
You should stop by.
987
00:43:41,600 --> 00:43:45,800
And as the barn door
creaked open, ever so slowly,
988
00:43:45,900 --> 00:43:48,900
standing there with
the moon at his back
989
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:53,700
and holding the severed head of the
pediatrician's mother in his hand,
990
00:43:53,800 --> 00:43:56,600
was Philip,
991
00:43:58,300 --> 00:43:59,300
the pizza delivery boy
992
00:43:59,400 --> 00:44:01,700
from when they ordered pizza
at the beginning of the story!
993
00:44:01,800 --> 00:44:03,700
Come on, you guys!
994
00:44:03,800 --> 00:44:05,100
All right. Whatever!
Hey, come here.
995
00:44:05,200 --> 00:44:06,700
You guys
are unscareable.
996
00:44:06,800 --> 00:44:08,900
Think you can do better? Who's
got a better story? Come on.
997
00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:11,300
You guys are so smart. Who's
got a scarier story than me?
998
00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:13,300
Yes?
So what's up?
999
00:44:13,400 --> 00:44:15,600
I don't know.
What's up with you?
1000
00:44:15,700 --> 00:44:17,200
I know you're engaged.
I haven't forgotten.
1001
00:44:17,400 --> 00:44:18,300
Uh-huh.
1002
00:44:18,500 --> 00:44:19,600
So what's this?
1003
00:44:19,700 --> 00:44:20,700
Ooh.
1004
00:44:21,000 --> 00:44:22,100
Those are my testicles.
1005
00:44:22,200 --> 00:44:23,300
Yeah.
1006
00:44:23,400 --> 00:44:25,500
Listen, I have an
arrangement with my fianc๏ฟฝ.
1007
00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:30,100
I'm completely faithful to him within
the area codes of greater Los Angeles.
1008
00:44:30,200 --> 00:44:34,100
Out here, I'm just another
woman who's ready to cheat.
1009
00:44:34,200 --> 00:44:36,000
Give me two minutes.
1010
00:44:36,100 --> 00:44:38,900
How about you, Daniel?
You think you can top it?
1011
00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:40,600
It's Danny.
Oh.
1012
00:44:40,700 --> 00:44:45,900
Oh, Danny boy
The Danny boys are Danny boys
1013
00:44:46,900 --> 00:44:50,300
Come on, man! We're on pins
and needles. Give us a story.
1014
00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:52,500
Okay, I've got a really
good horror story,
1015
00:44:52,600 --> 00:44:55,700
and it's particularly
terrifying because it's true.
1016
00:44:55,900 --> 00:44:57,800
Oh, a true story!
1017
00:44:57,900 --> 00:45:01,800
In countries all over the
world, including our own,
1018
00:45:01,900 --> 00:45:04,600
children, many
of them just like you,
1019
00:45:05,400 --> 00:45:07,900
are abducted and sold
1020
00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:10,700
into the world of
underground sex trafficking.
1021
00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:12,100
What is he saying?
Okay!
1022
00:45:13,400 --> 00:45:15,800
I'm gonna stop you there, Danny
boy. That is a scary story.
1023
00:45:15,900 --> 00:45:18,800
Story time is over! Everybody,
let's break into our groups.
1024
00:45:18,900 --> 00:45:22,600
Group A, come with me for
Martin's midnight mystery hike.
1025
00:45:22,700 --> 00:45:24,800
And group B, go with Duane.
What you got on tap, Duane?
1026
00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:27,600
We are gonna make some
s'mores using white chocolate.
1027
00:45:27,800 --> 00:45:28,700
Oh.
1028
00:45:28,900 --> 00:45:32,000
Well, I'm not sure I agree with
that, but to each their own.
1029
00:45:32,100 --> 00:45:34,200
Hey, hey, Danny.
Is this all your Ambien?
1030
00:45:34,300 --> 00:45:35,300
Yeah.
1031
00:45:35,400 --> 00:45:37,600
Okay, 'cause Connie
and I are gonna take some,
1032
00:45:37,700 --> 00:45:39,400
and then we're gonna stay up
as late as we can,
1033
00:45:39,500 --> 00:45:41,200
because if you fight
the urge to go to sleep,
1034
00:45:41,300 --> 00:45:43,500
things start to get all trippy,
and then we're gonna fuck.
1035
00:45:43,600 --> 00:45:44,700
Connie who's engaged.
1036
00:45:44,800 --> 00:45:45,900
Oh, yeah.
1037
00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:49,800
You know what? Don't worry about
it. We'll make do with three each.
1038
00:45:57,600 --> 00:46:00,100
Fight it. Come on.
Stay awake.
1039
00:46:00,900 --> 00:46:03,800
You know, a lot of people don't
realize that bushes, just like flowers,
1040
00:46:03,900 --> 00:46:06,100
emit a wonderful aroma,
especially at night.
1041
00:46:06,200 --> 00:46:07,800
Who wants to sniff
this bush?
1042
00:46:14,900 --> 00:46:17,400
So Ronnie's out on
some kind of hike.
1043
00:46:17,500 --> 00:46:18,600
Where's Wheeler?
1044
00:46:18,700 --> 00:46:19,900
He's having sex
with a married lady.
1045
00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:21,000
Oh.
1046
00:46:21,100 --> 00:46:22,900
Are you sewing?
Yeah.
1047
00:46:23,400 --> 00:46:25,600
This is my country's
emblem.
1048
00:46:27,700 --> 00:46:30,900
Do you think we can speak
in private for a second?
1049
00:46:32,800 --> 00:46:34,200
Yeah. Yeah.
1050
00:46:35,800 --> 00:46:38,100
I already talked to Kuzzik
and Artonius,
1051
00:46:38,200 --> 00:46:43,200
and we would like to officially invite
you to be a soldier in the Xanthian army.
1052
00:46:43,300 --> 00:46:46,900
Well, that's very kind of you, but
I would like to respectfully decline.
1053
00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:48,100
I'm kind of a pacifist.
1054
00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:50,200
I don't really believe
in imaginary bloodshed.
1055
00:46:50,300 --> 00:46:53,300
But there's room in Laire
for all belief systems.
1056
00:46:53,400 --> 00:46:57,000
Even early barbaric
modalities have their place.
1057
00:46:58,300 --> 00:47:00,700
Augie, look, you're
a good kid. I like you,
1058
00:47:00,800 --> 00:47:03,200
but I'm not really into
the whole buddy-buddy,
1059
00:47:03,400 --> 00:47:05,600
let's-go-do-stuff-together
kind of thing.
1060
00:47:05,800 --> 00:47:08,000
Well, why are you here?
1061
00:47:10,800 --> 00:47:12,500
It's court-ordered.
1062
00:47:13,200 --> 00:47:15,100
What did you do?
1063
00:47:15,800 --> 00:47:18,700
I just had one of those days
where you wake up and say,
1064
00:47:18,800 --> 00:47:21,800
"Where did the last
10 years of my life go?"
1065
00:47:21,900 --> 00:47:25,100
I asked my girlfriend
to marry me out of impulse.
1066
00:47:25,800 --> 00:47:27,300
She dumped me.
1067
00:47:28,100 --> 00:47:32,400
And then I ran a truck that looks
like a bull into a statue of a horse.
1068
00:47:33,100 --> 00:47:34,900
I'm not here by choice
either, by the way.
1069
00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:36,100
No?
1070
00:47:36,200 --> 00:47:37,900
My guidance counselor
signed me up.
1071
00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:39,600
Really?
Yeah.
1072
00:47:39,800 --> 00:47:43,300
Said anyone who wears a cape and
has a sword should have more friends.
1073
00:47:43,400 --> 00:47:45,200
Whoop-dee-doo, right?
1074
00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:47,600
So both of us don't
want to be here.
1075
00:47:47,700 --> 00:47:49,000
No.
1076
00:47:49,100 --> 00:47:51,200
Well, we got that in common.
1077
00:47:52,800 --> 00:47:54,200
So do you have
a girlfriend?
1078
00:47:54,300 --> 00:47:55,400
No. What?
1079
00:47:55,600 --> 00:47:58,700
Why would you ask...
No, I don't have a girlfriend.
1080
00:47:58,800 --> 00:48:01,800
But what about that girl you're always
looking at, with the cap and the...
1081
00:48:01,900 --> 00:48:03,800
I don't know what
you're talking about.
1082
00:48:03,900 --> 00:48:06,200
Come on!
Don't bullshit me.
1083
00:48:06,300 --> 00:48:08,100
You're always
looking at her.
1084
00:48:08,200 --> 00:48:10,700
You mean Esplen,
the Goddess of Navalore?
1085
00:48:10,800 --> 00:48:11,800
I don't know. Probably.
1086
00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:13,000
Her name's Sarah.
1087
00:48:13,100 --> 00:48:14,200
Sarah.
1088
00:48:14,600 --> 00:48:16,100
Ah, Sarah.
1089
00:48:17,500 --> 00:48:18,600
You ever talk to her?
1090
00:48:18,700 --> 00:48:19,800
No.
1091
00:48:19,900 --> 00:48:22,500
I've killed her a couple of times in
battle, but that's not really anything.
1092
00:48:22,600 --> 00:48:23,600
Talk to her.
1093
00:48:23,700 --> 00:48:24,900
No, I can't talk to her.
1094
00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:27,900
Romance her. Give her that
patch of yours. She'll love it.
1095
00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:29,000
No, I can't give her this.
1096
00:48:29,100 --> 00:48:30,300
She'll be flattered!
Why not?
1097
00:48:30,400 --> 00:48:32,100
I made it for you.
1098
00:48:34,500 --> 00:48:35,500
You made that for me?
1099
00:48:35,600 --> 00:48:36,700
Yeah.
1100
00:48:37,500 --> 00:48:38,600
Great. Now I gotta do it.
1101
00:48:38,700 --> 00:48:40,100
Yeah, that kind
of was my plan.
1102
00:48:40,200 --> 00:48:41,700
That was so low, dude.
1103
00:48:46,700 --> 00:48:49,200
No. Come on, Connie.
Stay awake.
1104
00:48:52,600 --> 00:48:53,700
Fuck.
1105
00:48:55,300 --> 00:48:56,600
I gotta pee.
1106
00:48:57,500 --> 00:48:58,600
Yep.
1107
00:49:01,200 --> 00:49:02,800
Hey! Martin!
1108
00:49:02,900 --> 00:49:03,900
Okay.
1109
00:49:04,000 --> 00:49:06,100
What are you
doing out here?
1110
00:49:06,200 --> 00:49:07,700
I'm just doing my
perimeter check.
1111
00:49:07,800 --> 00:49:11,200
Hey, did you know that
dinosaurs are not extinct?
1112
00:49:11,300 --> 00:49:14,800
Because birds are dinosaurs,
and they're everywhere.
1113
00:49:15,000 --> 00:49:17,100
Okay!
1114
00:49:17,700 --> 00:49:19,600
Now, all right.
1115
00:49:20,200 --> 00:49:22,300
I gotta pee.
I really gotta pee.
1116
00:49:26,900 --> 00:49:28,400
Look at that.
1117
00:49:29,100 --> 00:49:31,200
Yo, Wheeler!
You in there?
1118
00:49:35,800 --> 00:49:37,200
Oh, my God.
1119
00:49:38,400 --> 00:49:40,100
Dude.
Nice, man.
1120
00:49:40,200 --> 00:49:41,700
Oh, boy.
1121
00:49:41,800 --> 00:49:44,800
This is a classic case
of guy on the ground.
1122
00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:53,500
I'm sorry.
I don't care.
1123
00:49:53,600 --> 00:49:54,700
Okay.
1124
00:49:54,900 --> 00:49:57,900
So I heard there was
some sex on the trip
1125
00:49:58,000 --> 00:49:59,700
and some drugs, too.
1126
00:50:00,400 --> 00:50:03,000
Only thing missing
was rock 'n' roll.
1127
00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:08,100
What was Danny doing
with those Ambiens?
1128
00:50:08,200 --> 00:50:10,600
He has trouble sleeping
outdoors.
1129
00:50:11,500 --> 00:50:14,800
How did Wheeler come to be
naked in the center of camp?
1130
00:50:14,900 --> 00:50:16,200
He was sleepwalking.
1131
00:50:16,300 --> 00:50:18,200
Danny ever offer you drugs?
Well...
1132
00:50:18,300 --> 00:50:20,000
Answer me.
No, ma'am.
1133
00:50:20,400 --> 00:50:22,700
Did Wheeler ever
expose himself to you?
1134
00:50:22,800 --> 00:50:24,100
Hell no!
1135
00:50:26,500 --> 00:50:30,000
Fellows? These young gentlemen
here have decided your fates.
1136
00:50:30,100 --> 00:50:34,000
If it was up to me, I'd lock you both
up, but the boys are saying you're okay.
1137
00:50:34,100 --> 00:50:37,200
This is your last chance.
Start acting like Bigs.
1138
00:50:39,800 --> 00:50:40,900
Thanks, guys.
1139
00:50:41,000 --> 00:50:42,500
Suck it, Reindeer Games!
1140
00:50:42,600 --> 00:50:43,800
I'm not Ben Affleck.
1141
00:50:43,900 --> 00:50:45,700
You white?
Then you Ben Affleck.
1142
00:50:45,800 --> 00:50:47,600
Right, Wheeler?
Yeah. You are white.
1143
00:50:47,700 --> 00:50:49,200
That's true,
I am white.
1144
00:50:49,300 --> 00:50:50,500
Let's go.
1145
00:51:05,700 --> 00:51:06,800
Ready to go?
1146
00:51:06,900 --> 00:51:08,500
Yeah. I'm ready. All right.
1147
00:51:08,600 --> 00:51:09,700
Excellent!
1148
00:51:12,400 --> 00:51:14,600
You are going down!
1149
00:51:14,700 --> 00:51:16,900
Don't you mess
with my dark arts.
1150
00:51:17,900 --> 00:51:19,100
You shall be slain.
1151
00:51:19,200 --> 00:51:21,100
Oh, yeah?
Oh, yeah.
1152
00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:24,700
Fuck my cock! Sorry.
1153
00:51:27,500 --> 00:51:29,600
I have a question, Wheeler. Yes, JJ.
1154
00:51:29,700 --> 00:51:33,700
How many dates do you have to go out
with a girl before you get to touch her...
1155
00:51:33,800 --> 00:51:35,300
Boobs?
Yeah.
1156
00:51:36,100 --> 00:51:37,100
Good question.
1157
00:51:37,200 --> 00:51:38,200
So you get
hit in the arm,
1158
00:51:38,300 --> 00:51:39,800
you lose your arm.
Yes.
1159
00:51:39,900 --> 00:51:41,400
You gotta put it behind
you, like this.
1160
00:51:41,500 --> 00:51:43,500
You get hit in the leg,
you lose the leg.
1161
00:51:43,600 --> 00:51:44,600
See you.
1162
00:51:44,700 --> 00:51:45,900
So you gotta hop.
1163
00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:47,200
You can't use it.
You gotta hop around?
1164
00:51:47,300 --> 00:51:48,500
Yeah.
Yeah, you gotta hop.
1165
00:51:48,600 --> 00:51:51,100
And if you get hit in
the chest, then you're...
1166
00:51:52,600 --> 00:51:54,500
Lifestyle you chose
1167
00:51:54,600 --> 00:51:56,600
could lead to dying sad and alone? What?
1168
00:51:56,700 --> 00:51:58,800
What about STDs? No.
Herpes?
1169
00:51:58,900 --> 00:52:01,500
Gonorrhea? At the very
least, crabs. What the hell?
1170
00:52:01,600 --> 00:52:04,700
I don't have crabs. What have
you been telling them, Ronnie?
1171
00:52:04,800 --> 00:52:06,300
You got crabs.
1172
00:52:08,000 --> 00:52:09,000
Hi.
1173
00:52:18,600 --> 00:52:21,500
Come on, whitey, dance! Break
it on down! Get it funky!
1174
00:52:23,500 --> 00:52:24,700
He's out.
1175
00:52:44,400 --> 00:52:46,100
Thank you.
Yep.
1176
00:52:47,200 --> 00:52:48,900
Call her. Sweep
her off her feet.
1177
00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:50,100
It's not that easy, Augie.
1178
00:52:50,200 --> 00:52:51,800
Just let her know
how you feel.
1179
00:52:51,900 --> 00:52:52,800
Give her one call.
1180
00:52:52,900 --> 00:52:54,100
All right. I'II...
1181
00:52:54,200 --> 00:52:55,800
Just get off my back.
1182
00:52:55,900 --> 00:52:57,600
Did you know in
the 14th century that
1183
00:52:57,700 --> 00:53:00,500
knights used to write love songs
and poems for the women they loved,
1184
00:53:00,600 --> 00:53:01,800
even if she was married?
1185
00:53:01,900 --> 00:53:03,300
No, I didn't know that.
1186
00:53:03,400 --> 00:53:04,400
Well, there you go.
1187
00:53:04,500 --> 00:53:05,800
It's her voice mail.
1188
00:53:05,900 --> 00:53:07,800
Hey, Beth. How's it going? It's me.
1189
00:53:07,900 --> 00:53:10,100
Tell her her hair is like
1,000 suns. Look, I...
1190
00:53:10,200 --> 00:53:12,300
I was wondering if maybe
you wanted to get together.
1191
00:53:12,400 --> 00:53:13,800
I know there's a lot
of stuff I'd like to say.
1192
00:53:13,900 --> 00:53:15,000
Whispering eye.
1193
00:53:15,200 --> 00:53:17,900
So, if you get a chance,
give me a call back and...
1194
00:53:18,000 --> 00:53:20,100
You long for her
whispering eye. We can...
1195
00:53:20,200 --> 00:53:21,500
We can see each other.
1196
00:53:21,600 --> 00:53:22,600
I'd love to see you.
1197
00:53:22,700 --> 00:53:23,800
And her whispering eye.
1198
00:53:23,900 --> 00:53:25,800
And your whispering eye.
1199
00:53:26,500 --> 00:53:28,100
All right. Bye.
1200
00:53:29,500 --> 00:53:31,100
Whispering eye?
1201
00:53:31,500 --> 00:53:33,300
It means vagina.
1202
00:53:36,100 --> 00:53:37,700
It means vagina.
1203
00:53:38,400 --> 00:53:40,000
That's a classy
move, man.
1204
00:53:40,100 --> 00:53:41,300
It means vagina.
1205
00:53:41,400 --> 00:53:44,700
Yeah. Get your whispering
eye in the cab, Augie.
1206
00:53:45,200 --> 00:53:46,300
Vagina!
1207
00:53:51,200 --> 00:53:52,300
Hey.
1208
00:53:54,000 --> 00:53:55,100
Hi.
1209
00:53:55,800 --> 00:53:57,100
Thanks for meeting me.
1210
00:53:57,200 --> 00:54:00,100
I got you a venti chai,
1211
00:54:00,500 --> 00:54:03,600
which is what they call
a large here, which I love.
1212
00:54:03,700 --> 00:54:04,800
Wow.
1213
00:54:05,300 --> 00:54:07,500
There's a transformation.
1214
00:54:07,600 --> 00:54:10,700
Yes, well, you know, I've been doing
this community service for almost a month,
1215
00:54:10,800 --> 00:54:14,800
and I really feel as if it's given
me some perspective on things.
1216
00:54:14,900 --> 00:54:16,900
Well, that's great.
I hope that's true, Danny.
1217
00:54:17,000 --> 00:54:18,700
So let's get married.
1218
00:54:19,100 --> 00:54:21,100
Okay, I'm gonna leave now.
Wait.
1219
00:54:21,200 --> 00:54:23,600
Danny, you are not taking
this breakup seriously.
1220
00:54:23,700 --> 00:54:25,800
Yeah, because
I don't want it.
1221
00:54:28,300 --> 00:54:29,700
Do you really think
I wanted this?
1222
00:54:29,800 --> 00:54:33,400
Look. Hey. This is us.
1223
00:54:33,500 --> 00:54:35,200
This is not us.
1224
00:54:35,300 --> 00:54:38,500
We have not been us in a
while, because you are not you.
1225
00:54:38,600 --> 00:54:40,400
Danny, you're not happy.
1226
00:54:40,500 --> 00:54:43,600
I've been with you seven years, and
it's been getting progressively worse.
1227
00:54:43,700 --> 00:54:48,600
And it makes me feel bad about
me that I can't make you happier.
1228
00:54:48,700 --> 00:54:52,800
Where am I gonna find a girl who
hates all the same things I do?
1229
00:54:53,000 --> 00:54:54,300
You're so romantic.
1230
00:54:54,400 --> 00:54:55,800
Hey. Hey.
1231
00:54:57,300 --> 00:54:59,000
"You complete me. "
1232
00:55:01,700 --> 00:55:03,800
"You had me at 'hello. "'
Oh, God. Danny.
1233
00:55:03,900 --> 00:55:04,900
Come on, Beth.
You're not...
1234
00:55:05,000 --> 00:55:06,300
You're not hearing
what I'm saying to you.
1235
00:55:06,400 --> 00:55:10,100
"I am just a girl standing in front
of a boy, telling her to love her. "
1236
00:55:10,200 --> 00:55:11,300
You don't even
know that one.
1237
00:55:11,400 --> 00:55:12,600
Hey. Come on.
1238
00:55:12,700 --> 00:55:14,400
"Who you gonna call?"
1239
00:55:15,400 --> 00:55:16,700
"Ghost Busters. "
Okay. You know what?
1240
00:55:16,800 --> 00:55:20,900
No. I am committing to this breakup.
This is the best thing for us.
1241
00:55:24,200 --> 00:55:27,000
You can call me if you
need legal advice.
1242
00:55:36,800 --> 00:55:39,500
Come on! Let's kill
some Cacedonians!
1243
00:55:39,600 --> 00:55:42,900
And I got a little
something-something for you to wear.
1244
00:55:45,200 --> 00:55:46,500
Yeah, I'm not
gonna wear this.
1245
00:55:46,600 --> 00:55:47,700
No?
1246
00:55:48,400 --> 00:55:51,700
Soon enough.
Soon enough you'll want it.
1247
00:55:51,800 --> 00:55:52,800
Yeah.
1248
00:55:53,500 --> 00:55:56,700
Yo, Wheeler. What up, dog? You
scoundrel. What are you doing, man?
1249
00:55:56,800 --> 00:55:59,200
Yo, Hogan's having another
party tonight, man. You gotta go.
1250
00:55:59,400 --> 00:56:02,200
There's gonna be a lot of
sweet-ass pussy there, girl pussy.
1251
00:56:02,300 --> 00:56:04,500
Ooh! Uh...
1252
00:56:05,700 --> 00:56:08,100
Thanks for the offer.
Maybe some other time.
1253
00:56:08,200 --> 00:56:10,300
You're the king, Wheeler.
You're the king.
1254
00:56:10,400 --> 00:56:13,500
Dude, don't give up that
sweet-ass pussy on my account.
1255
00:56:13,600 --> 00:56:14,700
I'll go with you.
1256
00:56:14,800 --> 00:56:16,200
Okay. If you say so.
1257
00:56:16,300 --> 00:56:18,000
All right.
You're my PIC, Wheeler.
1258
00:56:18,100 --> 00:56:20,000
What's a PIC?
Partner in crime.
1259
00:56:20,100 --> 00:56:22,600
You're my PIC. Just don't
cock-block me tonight.
1260
00:56:22,700 --> 00:56:24,400
Wouldn't dream of it.
We'll have a great time.
1261
00:56:24,500 --> 00:56:26,300
We'll go to the party,
we'll get some zah,
1262
00:56:26,400 --> 00:56:27,300
play some Xbox.
1263
00:56:27,400 --> 00:56:28,600
Damn straight.
1264
00:56:28,700 --> 00:56:32,900
Countrymen, smell
the battle in the air!
1265
00:56:33,000 --> 00:56:35,300
Esplen,
Goddess of Navalore.
1266
00:56:35,400 --> 00:56:38,800
Venus herself would be jealous.
Braman, good to see you.
1267
00:56:38,900 --> 00:56:40,600
Good morrow, sir!
Good morrow to you.
1268
00:56:40,700 --> 00:56:41,800
Good morning.
1269
00:56:41,900 --> 00:56:44,900
Keep your blades sharp
but your wits sharper.
1270
00:56:45,000 --> 00:56:49,100
Ah! Gleebo, look at you.
A visage.
1271
00:56:49,200 --> 00:56:51,400
Men, get ready to
dance with swords!
1272
00:56:52,600 --> 00:56:57,800
Alack and allay! What lovely vassal
has Mercury delivered upon us today
1273
00:56:57,900 --> 00:57:00,500
and in such strange
and frightful attire?
1274
00:57:00,600 --> 00:57:01,700
Let us thank the gods
1275
00:57:01,800 --> 00:57:05,100
for sending us such a brave
and valiant warrior to Xanthia.
1276
00:57:05,200 --> 00:57:06,300
All hail Lunesta.
1277
00:57:06,400 --> 00:57:07,700
Hail, Lunesta!
1278
00:57:07,800 --> 00:57:09,300
How's it going?
Lunesta?
1279
00:57:09,400 --> 00:57:11,200
Isn't that a sleeping pill?
1280
00:57:11,300 --> 00:57:14,400
Yeah. It's 'cause I send my enemies
to their eternal resting place.
1281
00:57:14,500 --> 00:57:16,700
"To sleep,
perchance to dream. "
1282
00:57:16,800 --> 00:57:20,200
Well, welcome, Lunesta.
We bid you good battle.
1283
00:57:20,300 --> 00:57:22,700
Prepare to have your
worldview rocked.
1284
00:57:22,800 --> 00:57:24,200
Let's do this.
1285
00:57:24,300 --> 00:57:25,700
Let's do this,
we shall!
1286
00:57:35,000 --> 00:57:38,300
The battle begins!
1287
00:57:55,200 --> 00:57:56,600
Turn and fight, coward!
1288
00:57:56,700 --> 00:57:59,200
You'll never catch me!
1289
00:58:04,100 --> 00:58:05,800
What have you got?
1290
00:58:06,600 --> 00:58:08,900
The Cacedonians have
our kinsmen surrounded.
1291
00:58:09,000 --> 00:58:11,000
Leave them for Davith.
1292
00:58:12,900 --> 00:58:15,700
Prepare for
a Glencracken!
1293
00:58:21,300 --> 00:58:23,100
Comrades!
1294
00:58:23,200 --> 00:58:24,700
Cacedonia!
1295
00:58:28,900 --> 00:58:30,900
The king is
unprotected.
1296
00:58:31,000 --> 00:58:33,500
I shall approach him
from the rear.
1297
00:58:35,300 --> 00:58:36,700
God save you!
1298
00:58:43,800 --> 00:58:46,600
Oh, fuck me. All right.
You got it. I got you.
1299
00:58:46,700 --> 00:58:48,200
That's...
You look amazing.
1300
00:58:48,300 --> 00:58:49,300
Thanks, man.
1301
00:58:49,600 --> 00:58:50,900
You're dead.
1302
00:58:51,000 --> 00:58:52,000
No way.
I killed you.
1303
00:58:52,100 --> 00:58:54,500
You didn't kill me. Now
exeunt this battlefield.
1304
00:58:54,600 --> 00:58:55,600
Wait a second.
That's not fair.
1305
00:58:55,700 --> 00:58:56,800
Listen,
you little twerp.
1306
00:58:56,900 --> 00:58:59,500
You've been slain by the
mighty king. Now get lost,
1307
00:58:59,600 --> 00:59:01,400
and take some pride
in dying an honorable death.
1308
00:59:01,500 --> 00:59:02,600
No, but I killed you.
1309
00:59:02,700 --> 00:59:04,700
You can't kill me after
I already killed you.
1310
00:59:04,800 --> 00:59:05,900
Davith of Glencracken.
1311
00:59:06,000 --> 00:59:07,200
Yes, my liege.
1312
00:59:07,300 --> 00:59:08,300
Didst he slay me?
1313
00:59:08,400 --> 00:59:09,700
He doth not slay the king.
1314
00:59:09,800 --> 00:59:10,900
You weren't even here
when it happened!
1315
00:59:11,000 --> 00:59:12,200
Was too here.
1316
00:59:12,300 --> 00:59:14,600
Everyone, I'm telling you
the truth. I killed the king!
1317
00:59:14,700 --> 00:59:16,000
I...
1318
00:59:17,100 --> 00:59:18,400
Why don't you
believe me? I swear...
1319
00:59:18,600 --> 00:59:19,900
Dost the Xanthian
weep like a maiden?
1320
00:59:21,100 --> 00:59:22,600
Why are you
laughing at me?
1321
00:59:23,600 --> 00:59:24,600
What are you doing?
1322
00:59:24,700 --> 00:59:25,900
Danny, I didn't...
1323
00:59:26,000 --> 00:59:28,300
I killed the king.
Oh, my God.
1324
00:59:28,400 --> 00:59:29,700
You're lying.
1325
00:59:30,200 --> 00:59:31,800
Are you calling me a liar?
You're a liar.
1326
00:59:31,900 --> 00:59:34,300
Danny, just drop it. Let's just
get out of here. It doesn't matter.
1327
00:59:34,400 --> 00:59:37,600
Are you telling me a kid
could slay the mighty king?
1328
00:59:37,700 --> 00:59:41,000
Not a real king,
but you, yeah.
1329
00:59:41,100 --> 00:59:42,800
You're lying. I can tell.
Danny, stop.
1330
00:59:42,900 --> 00:59:44,200
He killed you.
Give him your hat.
1331
00:59:44,300 --> 00:59:45,400
It's a crown.
1332
00:59:45,500 --> 00:59:46,500
Give him your hat.
Danny.
1333
00:59:46,600 --> 00:59:48,300
It's a crown, dude!
1334
00:59:50,200 --> 00:59:51,300
Dude!
You're a liar.
1335
00:59:51,400 --> 00:59:53,400
It's a piece of plastic.
1336
00:59:54,200 --> 00:59:55,300
Okay, game over.
1337
00:59:56,600 --> 00:59:59,000
You both are disqualified
from Laire forever.
1338
00:59:59,100 --> 01:00:01,200
What?
Are you kidding me?
1339
01:00:05,400 --> 01:00:07,000
Augie! Augie!
1340
01:00:10,500 --> 01:00:11,700
Augie.
1341
01:00:11,800 --> 01:00:13,000
Leave me alone.
1342
01:00:13,200 --> 01:00:14,800
Look. I'm sorry.
1343
01:00:14,900 --> 01:00:17,700
No, you're not sorry. You
don't care about any of this!
1344
01:00:17,800 --> 01:00:19,600
This is so unfair!
1345
01:00:23,600 --> 01:00:25,800
Hey, come on, buddy.
I'm not your buddy!
1346
01:00:26,000 --> 01:00:27,700
You're only doing this because
the judge is making you.
1347
01:00:27,800 --> 01:00:29,800
And you know what? That's
fine if you don't give a shit,
1348
01:00:30,000 --> 01:00:32,200
but you don't have to ruin it
for me, because I do give a shit!
1349
01:00:32,300 --> 01:00:34,100
I give lots of shits!
1350
01:00:37,900 --> 01:00:39,100
Look, it's gonna be okay.
1351
01:00:39,200 --> 01:00:40,600
No, it's not gonna be okay!
1352
01:00:40,700 --> 01:00:44,800
You're the worst mentor ever! No wonder
your girlfriend left you, you asshole!
1353
01:00:57,400 --> 01:00:58,400
Yo, Wheeler.
What's up, man?
1354
01:00:58,600 --> 01:01:00,000
Hey. What's up?
1355
01:01:00,100 --> 01:01:02,200
Okay, kid. Let's mingle.
1356
01:01:02,900 --> 01:01:04,400
Let's do it.
1357
01:01:07,200 --> 01:01:08,400
Yeah.
1358
01:01:11,600 --> 01:01:13,500
Excuse me, miss.
Yes?
1359
01:01:14,900 --> 01:01:17,300
You're sexy like
a chocolate strawberry.
1360
01:01:18,100 --> 01:01:19,200
Who told you to say that?
1361
01:01:19,300 --> 01:01:20,500
That's Wheeler,
1362
01:01:20,600 --> 01:01:21,900
my PIC.
1363
01:01:26,100 --> 01:01:28,000
Nice.
Come on, baby!
1364
01:01:28,100 --> 01:01:29,700
Pass it.
No.
1365
01:01:29,800 --> 01:01:30,800
No.
No!
1366
01:01:31,000 --> 01:01:32,300
Hey. I'm gonna
rock a squirt,
1367
01:01:32,400 --> 01:01:33,600
so you watch the kid
for a few minutes?
1368
01:01:33,700 --> 01:01:36,400
Sure thing. You're the king,
Wheeler. You're the king.
1369
01:01:37,900 --> 01:01:39,000
Yeah, okay.
1370
01:01:53,500 --> 01:01:54,600
Long line.
1371
01:01:54,700 --> 01:01:56,700
I've seen longer.
1372
01:01:56,800 --> 01:01:59,300
Have we met?
I don't know. Have we?
1373
01:02:01,100 --> 01:02:02,800
Well, what do you do?
1374
01:02:02,900 --> 01:02:05,500
Well, I'm kind of
on hiatus right now,
1375
01:02:05,700 --> 01:02:08,800
but my job is to dress up like a
minotaur and keep kids off drugs.
1376
01:02:09,000 --> 01:02:11,800
Well, that's how I know you.
I teach at Morgan Elementary.
1377
01:02:11,900 --> 01:02:14,800
That's so funny, 'cause I
think elementary school is hot.
1378
01:02:19,900 --> 01:02:21,000
Hey.
1379
01:02:21,900 --> 01:02:23,700
What are you doing here?
I wanted to talk to you.
1380
01:02:23,800 --> 01:02:25,300
No, I don't want to
talk to you right now.
1381
01:02:25,400 --> 01:02:26,500
Hey, Danny.
1382
01:02:26,600 --> 01:02:29,700
You decided to come for
dinner. Great. Come on in.
1383
01:02:29,800 --> 01:02:32,200
Thanks.
God damn it!
1384
01:02:34,100 --> 01:02:35,900
What's up his cooz?
1385
01:02:40,400 --> 01:02:42,200
I should take a piss
more often.
1386
01:02:44,200 --> 01:02:45,700
I don't know.
I don't got a raincoat.
1387
01:02:45,900 --> 01:02:48,300
Don't worry.
I'm very pro-choice.
1388
01:02:48,500 --> 01:02:49,800
Okay.
1389
01:02:50,200 --> 01:02:51,900
God, I'm really
kicking your ass.
1390
01:02:52,000 --> 01:02:53,300
That's because
this is soccer.
1391
01:02:53,400 --> 01:02:54,700
Black folks
don't play soccer.
1392
01:02:54,800 --> 01:02:56,300
That guy's black.
Right there.
1393
01:02:59,300 --> 01:03:01,600
You sit down,
young man.
1394
01:03:01,700 --> 01:03:04,200
You have
been a bad boy!
1395
01:03:04,300 --> 01:03:05,500
I've been bad.
1396
01:03:05,600 --> 01:03:07,300
And now you're gonna
have to stay after class.
1397
01:03:07,400 --> 01:03:09,200
Oh, man. Look.
1398
01:03:09,300 --> 01:03:12,100
Even though this is one of my top
four all-time fantasies, I can't, okay?
1399
01:03:12,200 --> 01:03:14,800
I want to, but I gotta
go find my friend.
1400
01:03:15,500 --> 01:03:16,800
Oh, yeah?
1401
01:03:17,700 --> 01:03:18,800
You sure?
1402
01:03:19,300 --> 01:03:20,700
Oh, my God.
1403
01:03:21,500 --> 01:03:23,400
Do what you need to do.
1404
01:03:23,500 --> 01:03:25,800
He'll be fine.
He's 10. Come here.
1405
01:03:25,900 --> 01:03:26,900
Let's go.
1406
01:03:28,800 --> 01:03:29,300
Uh-oh!
1407
01:03:29,400 --> 01:03:30,900
This is how it ends.
1408
01:03:31,000 --> 01:03:32,600
Game winner! I win!
1409
01:03:32,700 --> 01:03:33,800
Let's go, Michael.
1410
01:03:33,900 --> 01:03:35,300
Man, forget you, man.
1411
01:03:35,400 --> 01:03:37,000
That's booty, son.
1412
01:03:37,100 --> 01:03:38,300
Let's go. I'm ready.
1413
01:03:39,700 --> 01:03:43,000
They don't call me the king
of this game for nothing!
1414
01:03:47,300 --> 01:03:49,600
Wheeler, where you at?
1415
01:03:54,800 --> 01:03:57,700
Wheeler? Wheeler. Wheeler.
1416
01:03:58,100 --> 01:03:59,100
Wheeler.
1417
01:04:01,700 --> 01:04:04,400
So, Danny, you must be glad
that you're almost done
1418
01:04:04,500 --> 01:04:07,200
with your required
time with Augie.
1419
01:04:08,400 --> 01:04:10,600
How much time
do you have left?
1420
01:04:11,200 --> 01:04:13,100
Eleven, 12 hours or so.
1421
01:04:13,200 --> 01:04:15,000
Jeez, Augie. You're acting
like your goldfish died.
1422
01:04:15,100 --> 01:04:17,000
I don't have a goldfish, Jim.
You know what I mean.
1423
01:04:17,200 --> 01:04:20,800
You're acting like as if you
had a goldfish and it died.
1424
01:04:21,800 --> 01:04:24,400
Augie kind of got
screwed over today.
1425
01:04:24,500 --> 01:04:25,700
I killed the king, Mom.
1426
01:04:25,800 --> 01:04:27,200
Okay.
He killed the king.
1427
01:04:27,300 --> 01:04:29,500
All right. All right. Don't
encourage him. He did kill the king.
1428
01:04:29,600 --> 01:04:31,700
But he was lying to everyone and
told everyone that he killed me.
1429
01:04:31,800 --> 01:04:33,800
I don't wanna hear any more
about your Dungeons & Dragons
1430
01:04:33,900 --> 01:04:35,200
or your fruity Cocoa Puffs...
1431
01:04:35,300 --> 01:04:36,800
It's all fairyland
with him.
1432
01:04:36,900 --> 01:04:39,800
We're trying to keep it...
We're trying to keep it real.
1433
01:04:39,900 --> 01:04:42,100
The Goddess of Navalore
saw me cry, Mom.
1434
01:04:42,200 --> 01:04:44,600
Hey, Augie, when I was a
little kid, I accidentally
1435
01:04:44,700 --> 01:04:46,800
crapped my pants
in front of a girl I liked,
1436
01:04:46,900 --> 01:04:49,100
so I feel your pain.
1437
01:04:49,200 --> 01:04:52,400
Well, he likes girls. That's a
good thing. That's a surprise to me.
1438
01:04:52,600 --> 01:04:54,400
Doesn't matter anyway.
He got me kicked out.
1439
01:04:54,500 --> 01:04:56,200
What?
What? You're kidding me.
1440
01:04:56,300 --> 01:04:57,300
They can kick you out?
1441
01:04:57,400 --> 01:04:58,900
Yeah, I'm banned.
This is a great thing.
1442
01:04:59,000 --> 01:05:00,300
Way to go, big guy.
Does this mean
1443
01:05:00,400 --> 01:05:01,500
we can finally get rid
of those boots
1444
01:05:01,600 --> 01:05:05,700
and that God-awful cape that you made
out of my tablecloth? I'm so sick of this.
1445
01:05:05,800 --> 01:05:06,900
I'll burn them up in a...
1446
01:05:07,000 --> 01:05:09,000
We'll have a bonfire.
We'll make a thing of it.
1447
01:05:09,100 --> 01:05:11,200
Don't you want him to wear
what makes him happy?
1448
01:05:12,600 --> 01:05:13,600
Yes. Yes, I do.
Yes.
1449
01:05:13,700 --> 01:05:16,200
You know when I want him to
wear what makes him happy?
1450
01:05:16,300 --> 01:05:19,800
On October 31st.
Halloween, go nuts.
1451
01:05:19,900 --> 01:05:21,200
Wear lipstick.
I don't care.
1452
01:05:21,300 --> 01:05:22,500
Yeah. Yeah.
1453
01:05:22,600 --> 01:05:24,400
You know, dress like a nun.
Sure.
1454
01:05:24,500 --> 01:05:25,800
We're gonna have
a celebration
1455
01:05:25,900 --> 01:05:28,900
to celebrate you joining
the rest of the world.
1456
01:05:29,000 --> 01:05:31,000
Becoming a normal kid.
He is a normal kid.
1457
01:05:31,100 --> 01:05:32,800
You think he's normal?
Yeah, I think he's normal.
1458
01:05:32,900 --> 01:05:34,400
You think he's normal.
He's normal.
1459
01:05:34,500 --> 01:05:35,500
When I was his age,
1460
01:05:35,600 --> 01:05:38,700
I had four, five girlfriends at
one time. Didn't I tell you that?
1461
01:05:38,800 --> 01:05:40,500
He was fucking
his cousin.
1462
01:05:40,600 --> 01:05:42,100
I wasn't fucking
my cousin. I...
1463
01:05:42,200 --> 01:05:44,500
We kissed, because I didn't
know she was my cousin,
1464
01:05:44,600 --> 01:05:48,200
but when I found out, I stopped
kissing her, but I fucked her friends.
1465
01:05:48,300 --> 01:05:50,200
I fucked my
cousin's friends.
1466
01:05:50,300 --> 01:05:53,600
I think that Augie is just having
kind of a tough time in life,
1467
01:05:53,700 --> 01:05:55,300
which sounds pretty normal
to me. Life is tough.
1468
01:05:55,400 --> 01:05:57,200
It is tough. But you know
what? This is my point.
1469
01:05:57,400 --> 01:06:00,200
It's tougher when you...
With parents like you?
1470
01:06:00,300 --> 01:06:02,800
Excuse me?
What did you just say?
1471
01:06:03,000 --> 01:06:06,300
I said it is tough, but I think
it's tougher with parents like you.
1472
01:06:06,400 --> 01:06:07,600
I thought that's
what you just said.
1473
01:06:07,700 --> 01:06:08,900
I don't know
how you do it, kid.
1474
01:06:09,000 --> 01:06:12,000
I mean, I thought my life sucked.
Jesus Christ, I really feel for you.
1475
01:06:12,100 --> 01:06:13,100
Okay. That's enough.
1476
01:06:13,200 --> 01:06:14,500
Don't listen to
them, all right?
1477
01:06:14,600 --> 01:06:17,000
Do what makes you happy. You
want to wear a cape? Wear a cape.
1478
01:06:17,100 --> 01:06:18,800
You want to wear a suit
of armor? Who gives a shit?
1479
01:06:18,900 --> 01:06:21,300
You know what? I would never
have invited you over for moussaka
1480
01:06:21,400 --> 01:06:24,800
if I'd known you were gonna
be such a prick. Excuse me.
1481
01:06:24,900 --> 01:06:26,200
Augie, screw them.
1482
01:06:26,300 --> 01:06:27,400
Do what makes you happy.
Hey. Whoa!
1483
01:06:27,500 --> 01:06:30,200
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Do what
makes you happy. Hey, buddy...
1484
01:06:30,300 --> 01:06:31,500
I'd like you to
leave now, please.
1485
01:06:31,600 --> 01:06:32,900
I figure you're probably
1486
01:06:33,000 --> 01:06:34,700
not gonna sign my
hours sheet now.
1487
01:06:34,900 --> 01:06:35,800
Go fuck yourself.
1488
01:06:36,000 --> 01:06:38,700
That's what I thought.
Hey, Augie, I'm sorry.
1489
01:06:38,800 --> 01:06:40,400
Get the hell out.
1490
01:06:41,900 --> 01:06:44,500
I'd be psyched if he was my kid. Please.
1491
01:06:47,500 --> 01:06:48,700
And you know what,
sweetheart?
1492
01:06:48,800 --> 01:06:51,000
It's not that we're not
psyched that you're our kid.
1493
01:06:51,100 --> 01:06:54,100
We're psyched. I'm so
psyched, I can't stand it.
1494
01:06:54,200 --> 01:06:56,200
Your mom's psyched
that you're her kid.
1495
01:06:56,300 --> 01:06:58,500
May I please
be excused, Mom?
1496
01:07:13,100 --> 01:07:14,600
Hey. Where's Ronnie?
1497
01:07:14,700 --> 01:07:16,100
Who's Ronnie, dude?
1498
01:07:16,200 --> 01:07:18,600
Oh, shit. Ronnie!
1499
01:07:19,200 --> 01:07:20,400
Ronnie.
1500
01:07:22,100 --> 01:07:24,200
What's up, man?
Hey. How you doing?
1501
01:07:24,300 --> 01:07:25,800
Ro-Ro.
1502
01:07:26,900 --> 01:07:28,900
Anybody see the
little kid I was with?
1503
01:07:31,200 --> 01:07:32,900
This is Karen,
Ronnie's mother.
1504
01:07:33,000 --> 01:07:35,500
Ronnie was supposed to be
home a few hours ago.
1505
01:07:36,800 --> 01:07:37,800
This is Karen again.
1506
01:07:37,900 --> 01:07:41,500
Can you guys please call me
and let me know where you are?
1507
01:07:42,100 --> 01:07:46,300
Ronnie just got in. He walked
all the way home. What the hell...
1508
01:07:46,500 --> 01:07:47,000
You're out.
Look...
1509
01:07:47,000 --> 01:07:47,600
You're out.
Look...
1510
01:07:47,700 --> 01:07:50,300
No, no, no, no. It's over.
You blew it. It's done. Okay?
1511
01:07:50,400 --> 01:07:53,200
I hear what you're saying. We're
very sorry, but we're 11 hours short.
1512
01:07:53,400 --> 01:07:56,100
And you're gonna stay 11 hours
short, okay? I don't know.
1513
01:07:56,200 --> 01:07:58,900
Parents don't want you hanging around
with their kids for some reason.
1514
01:07:59,000 --> 01:08:02,100
So you BSed a BSer.
1515
01:08:02,200 --> 01:08:06,000
Good for you! I hope you feel
good about yourself, God damn it!
1516
01:08:07,600 --> 01:08:10,600
You know, I could be
back in New York
1517
01:08:10,700 --> 01:08:13,700
doing cocaine in the
Village, but I'm not.
1518
01:08:14,900 --> 01:08:17,700
You know why?
Kids come first.
1519
01:08:18,900 --> 01:08:20,400
They don't come
first for you, do they?
1520
01:08:20,500 --> 01:08:23,000
They come second
to your selfishness.
1521
01:08:23,800 --> 01:08:26,200
So why don't you
two guys go home,
1522
01:08:26,300 --> 01:08:28,600
put down some lines
of selfishness,
1523
01:08:28,700 --> 01:08:30,500
which is your blow,
1524
01:08:31,100 --> 01:08:34,400
close the shades, take
the phone off the hook,
1525
01:08:34,500 --> 01:08:37,000
grab a straw and snort?
1526
01:08:37,100 --> 01:08:40,200
And don't expect me
to testify on your behalf.
1527
01:08:40,900 --> 01:08:43,300
You're not Sturdy Wings
material.
1528
01:08:51,100 --> 01:08:53,000
I think you guys are gonna
have to go to jail.
1529
01:08:53,100 --> 01:08:54,300
The only thing we can do now
1530
01:08:54,400 --> 01:08:57,700
is make a case at the hearing
that you did your best.
1531
01:08:57,800 --> 01:08:59,800
It's gonna take some serious
lawyering on my part.
1532
01:09:00,000 --> 01:09:03,000
Yeah. Beth, please.
Lawyer the shit out of it.
1533
01:09:03,100 --> 01:09:05,500
I just can't promise
anything.
1534
01:09:05,600 --> 01:09:07,200
Yes, Wheeler?
Question.
1535
01:09:07,300 --> 01:09:09,700
Maybe a stupid one, but
I'm just spit-balling here.
1536
01:09:09,800 --> 01:09:12,100
The Get Out of Jail Free
card,
1537
01:09:12,200 --> 01:09:14,900
is that based on
something that exists or...
1538
01:09:15,000 --> 01:09:17,400
That wasn't
a stupid question.
1539
01:09:17,600 --> 01:09:18,600
That's real.
1540
01:09:18,700 --> 01:09:19,900
It's real in the
game of Monopoly.
1541
01:09:20,100 --> 01:09:22,400
Yeah, it's based
on true events.
1542
01:09:23,000 --> 01:09:24,300
How... What do you mean?
1543
01:09:24,400 --> 01:09:25,500
Chance.
1544
01:09:34,200 --> 01:09:35,300
I can't believe
we're going to jail.
1545
01:09:35,400 --> 01:09:36,400
Believe it.
1546
01:09:36,500 --> 01:09:38,300
Hey, maybe you'll
roll doubles. You know?
1547
01:09:38,400 --> 01:09:39,600
If not, you just
miss three turns.
1548
01:09:39,700 --> 01:09:40,800
Game face, bro.
1549
01:09:40,900 --> 01:09:42,600
I told you.
Game face.
1550
01:09:42,700 --> 01:09:44,400
Enough with the
game face, all right?
1551
01:09:44,500 --> 01:09:45,900
This isn't beach volleyball.
1552
01:09:46,000 --> 01:09:49,300
Is it not? Because,
if you think about it,
1553
01:09:49,400 --> 01:09:52,600
the net is like your goals
in life, and you are the ball.
1554
01:09:52,700 --> 01:09:55,200
And you can spike the ball
down, or you, over the net.
1555
01:09:55,300 --> 01:09:57,800
Shut up, shut up, shut up.
Then you go into sidelines.
1556
01:09:58,000 --> 01:09:58,900
It's bad enough
I'm going to jail.
1557
01:09:59,100 --> 01:10:00,900
I can't take it anymore
with you yapping away.
1558
01:10:01,000 --> 01:10:02,000
Yap, yap, yip, yip.
1559
01:10:02,100 --> 01:10:03,900
"Bang your drum, bro. "
Maybe I should be like you.
1560
01:10:04,000 --> 01:10:06,500
"I hate myself, yet I'm
better than everyone. "
1561
01:10:06,600 --> 01:10:08,500
You're one to talk. You
took a 10-year-old to a party
1562
01:10:08,600 --> 01:10:10,500
and left him so you
could go get a blow job.
1563
01:10:10,600 --> 01:10:11,700
Hey.
1564
01:10:11,800 --> 01:10:13,300
It wasn't a blow job.
We fucked.
1565
01:10:13,400 --> 01:10:15,400
Please! Watch
your language!
1566
01:10:15,500 --> 01:10:17,000
Sorry.
Sorry.
1567
01:10:18,300 --> 01:10:20,300
You are an
S- H-I-T-T-Y friend.
1568
01:10:20,400 --> 01:10:22,000
He can spell.
1569
01:10:23,700 --> 01:10:25,400
I'm not your friend.
1570
01:10:26,100 --> 01:10:27,100
Oh.
1571
01:10:27,300 --> 01:10:28,800
You wanna go?
1572
01:10:31,800 --> 01:10:32,800
Stop it!
1573
01:10:38,400 --> 01:10:41,300
There you go, Danny.
Now you got no friends.
1574
01:10:44,300 --> 01:10:45,500
Sorry.
1575
01:10:50,500 --> 01:10:52,900
Hello?
Hey, Ro-Ro. It's Wheeler.
1576
01:11:41,000 --> 01:11:42,700
So you guys have to
be at the courthouse
1577
01:11:42,800 --> 01:11:44,500
no later than
3:00 p. m., okay?
1578
01:11:44,600 --> 01:11:45,600
All right.
1579
01:11:45,700 --> 01:11:47,900
Please, do not be late.
No. I know.
1580
01:11:48,000 --> 01:11:49,600
No, I'll be there.
1581
01:12:39,500 --> 01:12:42,000
You don't always have to get
breakfast this time of day.
1582
01:12:43,900 --> 01:12:45,100
Hiya, King.
1583
01:12:45,200 --> 01:12:46,700
No, no, no. I don't
mean to cause trouble.
1584
01:12:46,800 --> 01:12:49,200
I just wanted to come
by and apologize
1585
01:12:49,300 --> 01:12:51,400
for the way that
I behaved last time.
1586
01:12:51,500 --> 01:12:56,500
I... I lost my temper when I saw
you last, and that was regrettable.
1587
01:12:56,600 --> 01:12:59,000
Not to mention highly
illegal, you jackanape.
1588
01:13:00,200 --> 01:13:02,800
I know. It's just that my...
Denver omelet?
1589
01:13:02,900 --> 01:13:05,000
Right here. Thank you.
1590
01:13:06,200 --> 01:13:08,100
It's just my friend
was upset, you see,
1591
01:13:08,200 --> 01:13:10,400
and he thought
he'd stabbed you.
1592
01:13:10,500 --> 01:13:12,700
He hadn't.
Of course he hadn't.
1593
01:13:13,500 --> 01:13:14,500
Go on.
1594
01:13:14,600 --> 01:13:15,700
It's just that...
1595
01:13:17,100 --> 01:13:21,000
I accidentally cast an
unbreakable madness spell on him.
1596
01:13:22,500 --> 01:13:24,500
Well, that was stupid.
I know, right?
1597
01:13:24,600 --> 01:13:25,800
I didn't mean to.
1598
01:13:25,900 --> 01:13:27,100
You guys are reckless
out there.
1599
01:13:27,200 --> 01:13:30,700
Yeah. Unsafe. Okay, I had a
protection spell on me. All right?
1600
01:13:30,800 --> 01:13:33,600
But it had faded off when you
touched me, so don't flatter yourself
1601
01:13:33,700 --> 01:13:35,200
thinking you can come
back at me, okay,
1602
01:13:35,300 --> 01:13:38,000
'cause I would love to see
you penetrate me again.
1603
01:13:38,100 --> 01:13:39,800
Anyway, I was
just wondering
1604
01:13:39,900 --> 01:13:42,100
if maybe you could
see it in your heart
1605
01:13:42,200 --> 01:13:45,500
to let him fight today
on the battlefield.
1606
01:13:45,600 --> 01:13:48,200
He loves Laire
more than anything.
1607
01:13:48,300 --> 01:13:51,600
He's just a kid, but he's
got the heart of a lion...
1608
01:13:52,300 --> 01:13:53,300
Hmm.
1609
01:13:54,700 --> 01:13:56,200
...and the eye of the tiger.
1610
01:13:56,300 --> 01:13:57,300
Hmm.
1611
01:13:57,400 --> 01:13:58,700
More coffee?
1612
01:13:58,800 --> 01:13:59,900
No, I'm decaf.
1613
01:14:00,000 --> 01:14:01,200
Okay.
1614
01:14:01,300 --> 01:14:02,700
If he be so brave,
1615
01:14:02,800 --> 01:14:05,800
why doth he not show
his face here today?
1616
01:14:05,900 --> 01:14:07,800
Do you fight
all his battles?
1617
01:14:07,900 --> 01:14:08,900
Hmm.
1618
01:14:11,000 --> 01:14:13,000
He knows not I'm here.
1619
01:14:13,100 --> 01:14:14,100
Hmm.
1620
01:14:14,200 --> 01:14:17,800
He hath too
much pride.
1621
01:14:18,400 --> 01:14:19,400
Hmm.
1622
01:14:22,600 --> 01:14:25,800
Magic healing
potion. Wizards...
1623
01:14:26,900 --> 01:14:28,500
How's it going?
1624
01:14:31,300 --> 01:14:33,000
Tell your kinsman
1625
01:14:35,800 --> 01:14:38,400
we shall see him
on the battlefield today.
1626
01:14:38,500 --> 01:14:40,900
Thank you.
Thank you, noble king.
1627
01:14:44,000 --> 01:14:45,000
Really?
1628
01:14:45,100 --> 01:14:46,100
Mmm-hmm.
1629
01:14:46,700 --> 01:14:48,500
You know
you want it.
1630
01:14:53,100 --> 01:14:55,300
Now exit my
Burger Hole, boy.
1631
01:14:56,600 --> 01:15:00,000
Make it known to the Xanthians that
if they let Augie fight with them,
1632
01:15:00,100 --> 01:15:03,500
we'll destroy each and every
one of them, without mercy,
1633
01:15:03,600 --> 01:15:06,000
before the first
apple-cider break.
1634
01:15:16,000 --> 01:15:18,400
Hey, what's up, my PIC?
1635
01:15:25,000 --> 01:15:27,600
Ronnie. Ronnie.
1636
01:15:30,200 --> 01:15:32,400
To listen to me
1637
01:15:32,500 --> 01:15:36,700
and listen good. I am a
very animalistic woman,
1638
01:15:36,800 --> 01:15:38,900
a very animalistic woman,
1639
01:15:39,000 --> 01:15:43,400
and when it comes to my son,
I am a lioness,
1640
01:15:43,500 --> 01:15:44,900
a black Sheba.
1641
01:15:45,000 --> 01:15:46,600
Black Sheba.
Yeah, but listen...
1642
01:15:46,700 --> 01:15:47,800
I am a lioness,
1643
01:15:47,900 --> 01:15:50,600
and that boy is my cub,
1644
01:15:50,700 --> 01:15:54,700
and if you let anything bad
happen to my cub,
1645
01:15:54,800 --> 01:15:59,100
I will claw your ass up
until you shit sideways.
1646
01:15:59,200 --> 01:16:01,200
Do you understand?
Yes.
1647
01:16:01,400 --> 01:16:04,000
You'll tear me up so bad that when
I shit, it'll come out sideways.
1648
01:16:04,100 --> 01:16:05,900
I understand.
Okay.
1649
01:16:08,600 --> 01:16:10,300
It's just, Ronnie looks
up to you. Okay?
1650
01:16:10,400 --> 01:16:12,800
He doesn't need another
man leaving him behind.
1651
01:16:12,900 --> 01:16:15,100
I know. I know.
I fucked up, okay?
1652
01:16:15,200 --> 01:16:17,200
I... The kid acts
so tough,
1653
01:16:17,300 --> 01:16:19,100
I didn't know I could
hurt him, you know?
1654
01:16:19,200 --> 01:16:21,100
I'm determined to make
it up to him. All right?
1655
01:16:21,200 --> 01:16:25,100
What I'm trying to say is that
when I get out of prison,
1656
01:16:25,200 --> 01:16:27,500
could I hang out with
your 10-year-old son?
1657
01:16:27,600 --> 01:16:30,600
Well, you're gonna have
to ask him yourself.
1658
01:16:32,900 --> 01:16:34,600
Hey. Ronnie.
1659
01:16:35,600 --> 01:16:36,500
Um...
1660
01:16:37,600 --> 01:16:39,700
Look. I'm sorry, okay?
1661
01:16:40,800 --> 01:16:42,700
I know I don't deserve it,
1662
01:16:42,800 --> 01:16:46,300
but Sturdy Wings or no Sturdy
Wings, I want to be your Big.
1663
01:16:49,300 --> 01:16:53,700
Okay. I'm your Little, and
you're my Big. I like that.
1664
01:16:56,800 --> 01:16:58,900
Can I tell you how deeply, deeply I
regret this situation with this latest Big?
1665
01:16:59,000 --> 01:17:01,100
Can I tell you how deeply, deeply I
regret this situation with this latest Big?
1666
01:17:01,200 --> 01:17:04,800
It's completely unacceptable,
and at Sturdy Wings,
1667
01:17:04,900 --> 01:17:06,200
it's not how we roll.
1668
01:17:06,300 --> 01:17:10,000
So I'm going to guarantee
you that Mr. Gary
1669
01:17:10,800 --> 01:17:14,900
is our most experienced
and dependable volunteer.
1670
01:17:15,000 --> 01:17:16,500
Let me
put it this way.
1671
01:17:16,600 --> 01:17:19,100
If I had a nickel for every year
that I've been with Sturdy Wings,
1672
01:17:19,200 --> 01:17:22,200
I would have enough
money to
1673
01:17:22,300 --> 01:17:23,800
play a game of Pac-Man.
1674
01:17:24,800 --> 01:17:25,900
Been five years.
1675
01:17:26,000 --> 01:17:28,400
And if I stay with Sturdy
Wings for another five years,
1676
01:17:28,500 --> 01:17:30,900
then I'll have enough
for another round.
1677
01:17:31,000 --> 01:17:32,400
Another round of Pac-Man. Right.
1678
01:17:32,500 --> 01:17:35,300
Five cents for every year,
times five...
1679
01:17:35,400 --> 01:17:36,400
That's 25.
We get it.
1680
01:17:36,500 --> 01:17:37,900
That's 25 cents.
That's a quarter.
1681
01:17:38,000 --> 01:17:40,300
But the Pac-Man here,
I think it's 50 cents.
1682
01:17:44,100 --> 01:17:46,300
What are you doing here?
I'm breaking you out.
1683
01:17:46,400 --> 01:17:48,800
There's a nation at war.
Are you in?
1684
01:17:48,900 --> 01:17:50,300
Aye.
1685
01:17:50,400 --> 01:17:52,700
Aye... I am, too.
Come on.
1686
01:17:52,800 --> 01:17:55,200
Wheeler hasn't called me back.
Are you guys gonna make it or what?
1687
01:17:55,400 --> 01:17:58,000
I don't know, Beth. I mean, I can't
speak for Wheeler, but I'll be there.
1688
01:17:58,100 --> 01:18:00,300
You gotta promise me.
Yeah, I promise. I just...
1689
01:18:00,400 --> 01:18:02,300
I'm helping Augie with something,
and then I'm on my way, okay?
1690
01:18:02,400 --> 01:18:04,900
County courthouse, 3:00.
All right.
1691
01:18:06,400 --> 01:18:09,000
Man, I'm gonna kick
some Cacedonian ass.
1692
01:18:09,100 --> 01:18:10,600
Yeah, totally.
1693
01:18:12,000 --> 01:18:13,200
It's Artonius.
1694
01:18:13,300 --> 01:18:14,800
Bid him good morrow.
1695
01:18:14,900 --> 01:18:16,600
Greetings, Artonius.
1696
01:18:16,700 --> 01:18:18,300
Get ready for some pain.
1697
01:18:18,700 --> 01:18:21,500
What? What? Wait. No, no, no.
No, you can't do that.
1698
01:18:21,600 --> 01:18:23,400
You're out of Xanthia.
What are you talking about?
1699
01:18:23,500 --> 01:18:24,900
Sorry, Blufgan.
1700
01:18:25,000 --> 01:18:26,300
Forget it, Danny.
1701
01:18:27,400 --> 01:18:29,000
They said I'm too
much of a liability.
1702
01:18:29,200 --> 01:18:31,700
They're kicking me
out of Xanthia.
1703
01:18:31,800 --> 01:18:33,700
What? Are you serious?
1704
01:18:35,100 --> 01:18:36,700
Screw them. We'll
start our own country.
1705
01:18:36,800 --> 01:18:37,800
We can't.
1706
01:18:38,000 --> 01:18:41,200
All my costumes have the same
colors and same symbols as Xanthia.
1707
01:18:41,300 --> 01:18:43,700
And besides, you can't start
a country with two people.
1708
01:18:43,800 --> 01:18:46,400
No? What's the minimum?
1709
01:18:50,500 --> 01:18:51,800
Where you going?
1710
01:18:52,200 --> 01:18:53,500
You can't go anywhere.
Come on.
1711
01:18:54,700 --> 01:18:56,200
What do you want,
asshole?
1712
01:18:56,300 --> 01:18:58,500
Actually, we
need your help.
1713
01:19:39,800 --> 01:19:42,300
I can't believe
my eyes.
1714
01:19:42,500 --> 01:19:44,400
A minotaur!
1715
01:20:07,000 --> 01:20:08,300
Augie?
1716
01:20:09,000 --> 01:20:10,200
Where are you?
1717
01:20:15,400 --> 01:20:16,800
Hear he, hear he.
1718
01:20:17,600 --> 01:20:21,000
This is a battle to the
last man standing,
1719
01:20:21,300 --> 01:20:24,100
and the victor
shall rule the realm.
1720
01:20:24,200 --> 01:20:28,000
There'll be no magical
rejuvenation powder today.
1721
01:20:28,100 --> 01:20:31,100
Instead, if you are killed,
you are done!
1722
01:20:31,800 --> 01:20:35,300
Fight well, and may
the best country win!
1723
01:20:38,500 --> 01:20:40,900
Stay close, like
cotton on a lamb.
1724
01:20:43,400 --> 01:20:46,500
Brothers and sisters of the
new nation of Kiss-My-Anthia,
1725
01:20:46,700 --> 01:20:51,200
I stand here before you not as
the Augie Farks you once knew.
1726
01:20:51,300 --> 01:20:54,300
Today I stand before
you a warrior!
1727
01:20:54,900 --> 01:20:56,300
For time eternal,
1728
01:20:56,400 --> 01:20:59,300
I have let the naysayers
of this world bring me down.
1729
01:20:59,400 --> 01:21:02,300
They used to say,
"You shouldn't fight.
1730
01:21:02,400 --> 01:21:04,800
"You should be
embarrassed of yourself.
1731
01:21:04,900 --> 01:21:07,300
"You look like a young
Marvin Hamlisch. "
1732
01:21:07,400 --> 01:21:09,800
Well, you know what
I say to those naysayers?
1733
01:21:09,900 --> 01:21:12,800
I say nay! I will fight!
1734
01:21:12,900 --> 01:21:14,500
I will not be embarrassed!
1735
01:21:14,600 --> 01:21:16,800
Who the fuck
is Marvin Hamlisch?
1736
01:21:16,900 --> 01:21:18,100
He wrote the music
to The Sting.
1737
01:21:18,300 --> 01:21:19,400
That's a good movie.
1738
01:21:19,600 --> 01:21:21,200
But I don't care,
1739
01:21:21,700 --> 01:21:24,500
'cause in this moment,
doing what I love,
1740
01:21:24,600 --> 01:21:26,500
I know I have already won.
1741
01:21:26,600 --> 01:21:30,200
An honorable, albeit court-appointed,
friend once said to me,
1742
01:21:30,300 --> 01:21:32,000
"Do what makes you happy. "
1743
01:21:32,100 --> 01:21:36,500
And nothing would make me happier
than to fight alongside you brave men.
1744
01:21:37,400 --> 01:21:39,400
When the elders
speak of this day,
1745
01:21:39,500 --> 01:21:41,900
they will speak of the courage
of Kiss-My-Anthia.
1746
01:21:42,000 --> 01:21:43,600
Of the Spaceman.
1747
01:21:45,300 --> 01:21:46,600
The Demon.
1748
01:21:48,300 --> 01:21:49,800
The Starchild.
1749
01:21:51,200 --> 01:21:52,900
And me, the Cat!
1750
01:21:53,000 --> 01:21:55,900
So let us raise
our swords in victory,
1751
01:21:56,000 --> 01:21:57,900
crank this shit up to 11,
1752
01:21:58,000 --> 01:22:00,200
and let's rip this
realm a new asshole!
1753
01:22:00,300 --> 01:22:01,300
Yeah!
1754
01:22:01,400 --> 01:22:03,700
Yeah! What the fuck
are we talking about?
1755
01:22:03,800 --> 01:22:07,900
May Xanthia and
Kiss-My-Anthia be allies.
1756
01:22:08,000 --> 01:22:12,600
King Argotron be damned.
We fight with you.
1757
01:22:12,700 --> 01:22:14,800
Thank you, friends.
Your honor is great.
1758
01:22:14,900 --> 01:22:18,400
Come. Let us gingerly
touch our tips.
1759
01:22:19,800 --> 01:22:21,000
Game on!
1760
01:22:21,000 --> 01:22:22,100
Game on!
1761
01:22:38,100 --> 01:22:39,400
Yeah!
1762
01:22:48,300 --> 01:22:51,100
Once we pass this point,
there's no turning back.
1763
01:22:51,200 --> 01:22:52,800
It's a fight
to the death!
1764
01:22:52,900 --> 01:22:54,800
About time!
Let's rip this shit up!
1765
01:22:54,900 --> 01:22:56,600
Yeah!
Yeah!
1766
01:22:59,200 --> 01:23:01,700
Yeah. Oh, snap! No!
1767
01:23:01,800 --> 01:23:03,400
Come on. No!
1768
01:23:04,700 --> 01:23:07,200
Augie, what the hell?
Your boys just killed me!
1769
01:23:07,300 --> 01:23:10,900
Retreat! Go! Like the leopard!
Like the leopard!
1770
01:23:12,900 --> 01:23:14,500
Oh, Saint Venise!
1771
01:23:18,000 --> 01:23:19,700
Et tu, you two?
1772
01:23:20,900 --> 01:23:22,300
What the hell's going on?
1773
01:23:22,400 --> 01:23:25,000
They killed you, so you have to
die an honorable and noble death.
1774
01:23:25,100 --> 01:23:27,000
Okay. I think I can do that.
1775
01:23:36,500 --> 01:23:38,100
Not bad.
Blufgan.
1776
01:23:38,200 --> 01:23:39,800
Kuzzik.
1777
01:23:39,900 --> 01:23:41,600
Fulfill your
destiny, Blufgan.
1778
01:23:41,700 --> 01:23:42,800
Yes.
Kill the king.
1779
01:23:42,900 --> 01:23:44,100
I will.
Kill the king.
1780
01:23:44,200 --> 01:23:45,300
I will, Kuzzik!
1781
01:23:45,400 --> 01:23:46,800
Go. Go.
1782
01:23:47,300 --> 01:23:49,200
Go. Go.
1783
01:23:55,000 --> 01:23:57,500
Take that, you
lily-livered coward!
1784
01:23:59,200 --> 01:24:01,100
Hey. Hey. Where the hell are you guys?
1785
01:24:01,200 --> 01:24:02,700
I cannot stall any longer.
1786
01:24:02,800 --> 01:24:05,100
I'm at Jefferson Park.
Look. I can't talk right now.
1787
01:24:05,200 --> 01:24:08,000
I'm in the middle of
battling a Cacedonian.
1788
01:24:08,100 --> 01:24:09,900
Beth, I gotta help Augie.
I gotta go.
1789
01:24:10,000 --> 01:24:11,700
Fucking Cacedonian ass.
1790
01:24:11,800 --> 01:24:14,800
What? Hello. What?
1791
01:24:21,000 --> 01:24:22,300
Bitch!
1792
01:24:22,400 --> 01:24:24,200
Retreat to the castle!
1793
01:24:28,000 --> 01:24:30,300
Long live Xanthia!
1794
01:24:43,700 --> 01:24:45,600
You lost an arm, honey!
1795
01:24:48,300 --> 01:24:49,800
Nice one, dude.
1796
01:24:50,500 --> 01:24:52,500
Hey, Esplen.
Thanks.
1797
01:24:57,600 --> 01:25:00,100
Okay. See you.
See you.
1798
01:25:02,700 --> 01:25:04,400
Die, coward!
1799
01:25:04,500 --> 01:25:06,400
Cacedonia
is to rule forever!
1800
01:25:08,300 --> 01:25:10,100
What a scene.
1801
01:25:23,300 --> 01:25:26,100
Okay. We lost a man,
but we can still do this.
1802
01:25:26,200 --> 01:25:28,700
It's not the manpower.
It's the power of the man.
1803
01:25:28,800 --> 01:25:30,400
Shit, this kid really
jacks you up.
1804
01:25:30,500 --> 01:25:32,300
I want you to go left
through these trees.
1805
01:25:32,400 --> 01:25:33,500
His lackeys
are pretty strong,
1806
01:25:33,600 --> 01:25:35,800
but Davith of Glencracken
is the one you want.
1807
01:25:35,900 --> 01:25:38,100
He's the one built
like a brick shithouse.
1808
01:25:40,000 --> 01:25:41,300
Leave it to us, Augie.
1809
01:25:41,400 --> 01:25:43,200
Good luck, mi amigos!
1810
01:25:44,900 --> 01:25:48,800
Thanks for doing this. I'm doing
it for the kids, not for you.
1811
01:26:01,100 --> 01:26:02,400
Come on.
1812
01:26:09,700 --> 01:26:12,000
Feel the steel
of my hammer!
1813
01:26:19,300 --> 01:26:21,800
Hey, hey! Okay! Okay!
I'm dead! I'm dead!
1814
01:26:21,900 --> 01:26:24,000
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
It's fun though, right?
1815
01:26:24,100 --> 01:26:25,900
It's a blast.
It's contagious. I know.
1816
01:26:26,000 --> 01:26:27,600
Totally.
Come back next year.
1817
01:26:27,700 --> 01:26:28,900
I will. Thanks. Okay.
1818
01:26:29,000 --> 01:26:30,300
We need people.
Give me your e-mail.
1819
01:26:38,900 --> 01:26:41,400
Dude, you saved my life.
1820
01:26:41,500 --> 01:26:43,900
I did what any good
coworker would do.
1821
01:26:44,000 --> 01:26:47,100
I honestly can't say
I would do the same for you.
1822
01:26:47,200 --> 01:26:50,300
You would, Danny,
because you're my friend.
1823
01:26:51,100 --> 01:26:53,100
I want to hear you say it.
1824
01:26:54,100 --> 01:26:55,700
Come on.
Say it.
1825
01:26:58,000 --> 01:26:59,400
I'm your friend.
1826
01:27:00,300 --> 01:27:02,300
Will you hold me?
No.
1827
01:27:02,400 --> 01:27:03,800
Kiss on the cheek?
No.
1828
01:27:03,900 --> 01:27:06,300
Hug me. I don't want to
do any of that.
1829
01:27:06,400 --> 01:27:09,500
Oh, no. Oh, no.
1830
01:27:09,600 --> 01:27:11,000
Aren't you dead yet?
1831
01:27:11,100 --> 01:27:12,800
Very close, Starchild.
1832
01:27:12,900 --> 01:27:14,500
The end is near.
1833
01:27:20,900 --> 01:27:22,400
Sleep, friend.
1834
01:27:24,400 --> 01:27:26,500
They can't hurt you now.
1835
01:27:31,200 --> 01:27:33,700
Right in the ball
sack. Fuck.
1836
01:27:35,200 --> 01:27:37,100
All right. I'm
gonna get a beer.
1837
01:27:37,200 --> 01:27:37,400
Hold your ground!
1838
01:27:37,400 --> 01:27:39,200
Hold your ground!
1839
01:27:39,900 --> 01:27:41,100
Enclose, stab.
1840
01:27:41,200 --> 01:27:42,600
As you command.
1841
01:27:42,700 --> 01:27:44,300
Yes, my lord.
North.
1842
01:27:45,400 --> 01:27:47,600
Davith is gone.
Nice work.
1843
01:27:47,700 --> 01:27:49,400
Where's Spaceman?
1844
01:27:54,500 --> 01:27:56,800
I don't think there's many
warriors left, you know.
1845
01:27:56,900 --> 01:27:58,100
If I could just get
him one-on-one,
1846
01:27:58,200 --> 01:28:00,000
I swear I could take him.
I could take him down.
1847
01:28:00,100 --> 01:28:03,000
Hold up, dude.
Methinks I have a plan.
1848
01:28:05,500 --> 01:28:08,300
Hey, King! King!
1849
01:28:09,300 --> 01:28:11,400
It's that guy from
The Burger Hole.
1850
01:28:11,500 --> 01:28:13,800
Oh, he seems
to be wounded.
1851
01:28:13,900 --> 01:28:15,100
Shall I take him out, sire?
1852
01:28:15,200 --> 01:28:17,700
Nay. This one is mine.
1853
01:28:28,300 --> 01:28:31,600
Well! Well, well.
1854
01:28:35,900 --> 01:28:39,600
Looks like thou art fell for
the oldest trick in the scroll.
1855
01:28:52,500 --> 01:28:56,000
Now you will kneel
before the king.
1856
01:28:56,100 --> 01:28:59,600
Oh, drag. I really wanted to
win that pointy little hat.
1857
01:28:59,700 --> 01:29:02,900
It's a crown!
1858
01:29:10,900 --> 01:29:12,600
Cacedonia!
1859
01:29:14,800 --> 01:29:15,900
You!
1860
01:29:18,100 --> 01:29:19,200
Shit.
1861
01:29:24,800 --> 01:29:27,600
Argotron. Face me,
if ye be brave enough.
1862
01:29:27,700 --> 01:29:29,900
Didn't I teach you
a lesson the last time?
1863
01:29:30,000 --> 01:29:33,400
I think you're afraid
I'm gonna kill you again.
1864
01:29:35,100 --> 01:29:37,100
Go get them, Augie!
1865
01:29:37,200 --> 01:29:39,500
You shut up, whore!
My mom is not a whore!
1866
01:29:39,600 --> 01:29:41,000
Yes, she is!
1867
01:29:48,400 --> 01:29:50,300
He could actually win.
It's anyone's game.
1868
01:29:50,400 --> 01:29:51,600
Go, Blufgan!
1869
01:29:51,700 --> 01:29:53,200
Yo, Augie! Fuck
his shit up, man!
1870
01:30:13,300 --> 01:30:14,700
Screw it!
1871
01:30:14,800 --> 01:30:15,800
Bad decision.
1872
01:30:15,900 --> 01:30:17,700
No, it's a good decision.
1873
01:30:22,900 --> 01:30:24,300
Oh, shit!
1874
01:30:32,800 --> 01:30:34,900
It's okay.
I don't need it.
1875
01:30:44,600 --> 01:30:45,700
Hey!
1876
01:30:46,600 --> 01:30:48,300
Please. No.
1877
01:31:15,300 --> 01:31:16,600
Yeah!
Yeah!
1878
01:31:16,700 --> 01:31:17,800
That's what
I'm talking about!
1879
01:31:17,900 --> 01:31:19,000
Yes!
1880
01:31:20,600 --> 01:31:22,600
The gods have
played a coup.
1881
01:31:22,700 --> 01:31:25,700
Blufgan is the last man
standing of them all!
1882
01:31:26,900 --> 01:31:30,700
All hail King Blufgan!
1883
01:31:31,400 --> 01:31:33,400
Hail, Blufgan!
1884
01:31:36,900 --> 01:31:38,300
Yeah!
Yeah!
1885
01:31:52,200 --> 01:31:54,200
What? Esplen is still alive?
1886
01:31:56,000 --> 01:31:56,900
Esplen!
1887
01:31:57,100 --> 01:31:59,200
I was hiding in the
bushes the whole time.
1888
01:31:59,300 --> 01:32:00,600
That's a pretty
smart strategy.
1889
01:32:00,700 --> 01:32:03,500
Thanks.
Sorry I killed you.
1890
01:32:03,600 --> 01:32:05,200
It's okay.
1891
01:32:05,300 --> 01:32:09,300
All hail Queen Esplen
of Navalore!
1892
01:32:09,600 --> 01:32:11,900
Hail, Esplen!
1893
01:32:18,100 --> 01:32:21,900
Game end!
1894
01:32:23,900 --> 01:32:24,700
One slice to the king's chest and
down like a sack of elderberries!
1895
01:32:24,800 --> 01:32:28,100
One slice to the king's chest and
down like a sack of elderberries!
1896
01:32:30,600 --> 01:32:32,200
You did good, Augie.
1897
01:32:32,300 --> 01:32:33,900
I mean, a girl did beat you,
1898
01:32:34,000 --> 01:32:36,600
but it's definitely not as
gay as I thought it would be.
1899
01:32:36,700 --> 01:32:39,900
You were incredible.
Second place!
1900
01:32:40,000 --> 01:32:42,700
That's like a silver medal. Kind of
makes you hungry for the gold, huh?
1901
01:32:44,100 --> 01:32:47,700
No, but we... Serious, we
are very, very proud of you.
1902
01:32:47,800 --> 01:32:50,400
Thanks for trying to
be nice, Mom. Jim.
1903
01:33:04,300 --> 01:33:05,900
Hail, Esplen!
1904
01:33:06,700 --> 01:33:08,000
Congratulations.
1905
01:33:08,100 --> 01:33:09,300
I can't believe I won.
1906
01:33:09,400 --> 01:33:11,600
When I killed you,
I was, like, "No way. "
1907
01:33:11,700 --> 01:33:14,700
Yeah, well, the crown looks
very good on you, very regal.
1908
01:33:14,800 --> 01:33:17,100
Thanks.
I liked your whiskers.
1909
01:33:17,200 --> 01:33:18,600
Thanks.
Was that eyeliner?
1910
01:33:18,700 --> 01:33:20,900
Yeah, I just drew them on.
1911
01:33:21,000 --> 01:33:22,200
It looked good.
1912
01:33:22,300 --> 01:33:24,600
Thanks.
I have two cats, so...
1913
01:33:24,700 --> 01:33:27,400
Oh. Okay. Cool.
1914
01:33:27,500 --> 01:33:29,100
So, Augie,
1915
01:33:30,200 --> 01:33:34,000
now that I'm queen,
I was wondering if maybe
1916
01:33:35,100 --> 01:33:36,700
you'd wanna be my king?
1917
01:33:36,900 --> 01:33:39,500
Yeah. I'd love that.
1918
01:33:40,900 --> 01:33:43,200
Should...
Should I kiss you now?
1919
01:33:51,500 --> 01:33:52,900
Fuck, yeah.
1920
01:33:59,300 --> 01:34:02,200
Do you know the
song Beth? By Kiss?
1921
01:34:02,600 --> 01:34:04,900
You did a really good
thing tonight, Wheeler.
1922
01:34:05,000 --> 01:34:06,300
Yeah. They'll probably
double our sentence
1923
01:34:06,400 --> 01:34:07,900
for not showing up to the
hearing this afternoon.
1924
01:34:08,000 --> 01:34:11,400
Well, listen. I got a long-standing
relationship with this judge,
1925
01:34:11,500 --> 01:34:14,700
and I don't want to get too graphic,
but I used to suck his dick for drugs.
1926
01:34:14,800 --> 01:34:16,400
Oh.
He got me my junk.
1927
01:34:16,500 --> 01:34:19,700
Long story short, you
guys are not going to jail.
1928
01:34:19,800 --> 01:34:22,200
Are you BSing me? 'Cause I
know you're the best BSer.
1929
01:34:22,300 --> 01:34:23,400
No, I'm being straight
with you, man.
1930
01:34:24,700 --> 01:34:25,700
Shit. Thank you.
1931
01:34:25,800 --> 01:34:26,700
Whoa! Okay.
1932
01:34:26,900 --> 01:34:27,900
Thank you so much.
All right.
1933
01:34:28,000 --> 01:34:29,600
Hey, what's going on here?
1934
01:34:31,300 --> 01:34:33,800
So speaking of whatever you
guys were just talking about,
1935
01:34:33,900 --> 01:34:38,400
I happen to know a really nice
Italian restaurant in Manhattan Beach,
1936
01:34:38,500 --> 01:34:41,100
and I would love to take you
if you're interested.
1937
01:34:41,200 --> 01:34:42,700
Sure, Martin.
1938
01:34:42,900 --> 01:34:45,300
I just hope we're talking
pasta and not pussy.
1939
01:34:45,400 --> 01:34:48,300
Well, I was talking about
two adults having some pasta,
1940
01:34:48,400 --> 01:34:51,600
and, yes, I was kinda hoping
that it would lead to some pussy.
1941
01:34:51,700 --> 01:34:53,600
Call it out there.
1942
01:34:53,700 --> 01:34:55,300
I mean, what are we after here? Okay.
1943
01:34:55,400 --> 01:34:59,100
Quiet down! Quiet down!
Gather round, ye nobles!
1944
01:35:14,900 --> 01:35:18,100
Beth, I hear you calling
1945
01:35:18,200 --> 01:35:22,300
But I can't come
home right now
1946
01:35:22,400 --> 01:35:25,900
'Cause me and the
boys are slaying
1947
01:35:26,000 --> 01:35:30,200
And we just can't
find the sound
1948
01:35:31,100 --> 01:35:33,300
None of these lyrics
1949
01:35:34,500 --> 01:35:37,600
Have anything to do
with what I want to say
1950
01:35:38,600 --> 01:35:41,000
But it's got a pretty melody
1951
01:35:41,800 --> 01:35:44,500
And I get to sing your name
1952
01:35:46,100 --> 01:35:48,100
That seems pretty cool
1953
01:35:51,000 --> 01:35:53,500
Beth, you are so awesome
1954
01:35:54,200 --> 01:35:57,900
And I miss you so much
1955
01:35:58,000 --> 01:35:59,500
Your beautiful smile
1956
01:35:59,600 --> 01:36:02,900
And your positive attitude
and your whispering eye
1957
01:36:06,100 --> 01:36:08,900
We don't have to get married
1958
01:36:09,000 --> 01:36:12,000
But I'm still in love with you
1959
01:36:12,900 --> 01:36:15,900
We can just be together
1960
01:36:16,800 --> 01:36:19,700
Like Tim Robbins
and Susan Sarandon
1961
01:36:19,800 --> 01:36:21,400
Good actors.
1962
01:36:21,800 --> 01:36:23,100
Tim and Sue
1963
01:36:25,100 --> 01:36:28,400
Beth, I am so
lonely without you
1964
01:36:28,500 --> 01:36:31,500
And I hope we'll be all right
1965
01:36:32,900 --> 01:36:35,100
You and me should make up
1966
01:36:37,700 --> 01:36:41,600
Tonight
1967
01:36:43,800 --> 01:36:45,900
And the kiss!
1968
01:36:46,800 --> 01:36:47,900
Nice.
1969
01:37:32,500 --> 01:37:35,100
Hey, what does this
look like to you?
1970
01:37:40,700 --> 01:37:43,400
Hey.
How you doing?
1971
01:37:44,900 --> 01:37:46,400
Yeah.
Yeah.
1972
01:37:52,400 --> 01:37:53,700
Yes, sir.
Yeah.
1973
01:37:54,800 --> 01:37:55,800
Put it back in.
1974
01:37:55,900 --> 01:37:57,800
Ouch. Ouch.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
1975
01:37:58,300 --> 01:37:59,700
There you go.
1976
01:38:01,900 --> 01:38:02,700
Ow!
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