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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,053 --> 00:00:03,280 Get out, get out, get out. My abuelita will be here any minute 2 00:00:03,293 --> 00:00:05,513 Why do I have to wait to meet your abuelita at dinner... 3 00:00:05,531 --> 00:00:07,045 Why can't I stay and meet her now? 4 00:00:07,082 --> 00:00:10,168 She's gona think you slept here, and sofia is not a virgin. 5 00:00:10,206 --> 00:00:12,445 But I did sleep here and sofia is not a virgin 6 00:00:12,456 --> 00:00:15,488 (GASPS) My abuelita cannot know any of that. 7 00:00:15,749 --> 00:00:17,750 Sofia, relax. Grandmas love me. 8 00:00:17,784 --> 00:00:19,552 I'm respectful, I listen to their stories, 9 00:00:19,586 --> 00:00:21,687 and I flirt with them a little, makes them feel alive. 10 00:00:23,098 --> 00:00:25,700 You know what? I'll meet her tonight. 11 00:00:25,734 --> 00:00:29,404 And whether you impress her or not, you have more than impressed me. 12 00:00:29,438 --> 00:00:31,272 Aw. Get out. 13 00:00:31,307 --> 00:00:32,473 Yeah. I'm sorry. 14 00:00:33,475 --> 00:00:36,077 God, please, let my abuelita love Nick. 15 00:00:36,111 --> 00:00:37,946 Gabi, he's the first guy who gets me. 16 00:00:37,980 --> 00:00:40,332 He's smart, he's successful, and, um, 17 00:00:40,359 --> 00:00:43,528 I have had an "O" almost every single time. 18 00:00:43,552 --> 00:00:45,997 Almost every time? With me and Josh, 19 00:00:46,008 --> 00:00:49,334 every time it's go time, it's "O" time. 20 00:00:49,358 --> 00:00:51,426 Yeah, well, you don't have an abuelita to worry about. 21 00:00:51,460 --> 00:00:53,895 What if she doesn't like Nick, Gabi? 22 00:00:53,929 --> 00:00:54,638 So? 23 00:00:54,649 --> 00:00:56,774 She's my grandmother, Gabi. I have to impress her. 24 00:00:56,799 --> 00:00:59,367 You sound like you're 10. You're 25 now, who cares what she thinks? 25 00:00:59,401 --> 00:01:00,935 You're an adult. 26 00:01:00,970 --> 00:01:02,070 Am I? 27 00:01:02,104 --> 00:01:03,705 Did you just have intercourse? 28 00:01:03,739 --> 00:01:05,640 - Twice this morning. - You're an adult! 29 00:01:05,674 --> 00:01:07,342 You know what? You're right. So what? 30 00:01:07,376 --> 00:01:09,210 If she doesn't like my boyfriend, that is her problem. 31 00:01:09,244 --> 00:01:10,244 I am an adult. 32 00:01:10,279 --> 00:01:12,213 - (KNOCKING ON DOOR) - Oh my God, it's her! 33 00:01:16,218 --> 00:01:18,286 Abuelita, you're finally here! 34 00:01:18,320 --> 00:01:20,588 Oh! And look at you! 35 00:01:20,622 --> 00:01:24,292 All grown up, a beautiful young lady. 36 00:01:24,326 --> 00:01:27,729 - Very impressive. - Oh, she's the best. 37 00:01:27,763 --> 00:01:29,658 You would think a grownup would know she 38 00:01:29,669 --> 00:01:31,609 should pick up her elderly grandmother 39 00:01:31,633 --> 00:01:33,601 from the airport. 40 00:01:33,635 --> 00:01:36,671 Oh, I'm sorry. I thought a cab would just be easier. 41 00:01:36,705 --> 00:01:38,639 Mm. You know what's not easy? 42 00:01:38,674 --> 00:01:41,642 Avoiding getting mugged while waiting for a cab. 43 00:01:43,645 --> 00:01:45,413 Hola, Abuelita. 44 00:01:47,516 --> 00:01:50,051 It's me, it's Gabi, it's Sofia's friend from when we were kids, 45 00:01:50,085 --> 00:01:52,253 but now we're adults. 46 00:01:52,287 --> 00:01:57,091 Indeed you are. Look at what a gorgeous young lady you've turned into. 47 00:01:57,126 --> 00:01:59,627 - Thank you, Abuelita. - So why would you want 48 00:01:59,661 --> 00:02:03,031 to wear all that trampy makeup and look like an old hooker? 49 00:02:05,934 --> 00:02:09,037 - Let me tell you something, Abuelita. - What? 50 00:02:09,071 --> 00:02:10,705 I totally would've picked you up from the airport. 51 00:02:10,739 --> 00:02:12,607 Come on, Sofia, let's get her bags! 52 00:02:12,668 --> 00:02:17,837 - Synced & Corrected by Dragoniod - www.addic7ed.com 53 00:02:17,848 --> 00:02:19,303 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 54 00:02:19,314 --> 00:02:21,516 ♪ She in the spotlight ♪ 55 00:02:21,550 --> 00:02:23,251 ♪ And she turn my head ♪ 56 00:02:23,285 --> 00:02:25,153 ♪ She run a red light ♪ 57 00:02:25,187 --> 00:02:27,055 ♪ 'Cause she bad like that ♪ 58 00:02:27,089 --> 00:02:30,758 ♪ I like that ooh baby, ooh baby, baby ♪ 59 00:02:30,793 --> 00:02:33,928 ♪ I like that ooh baby, ooh baby ♪ 60 00:02:35,164 --> 00:02:39,267 (GASPS) Ooh! It's a letter from my prison pen pal. 61 00:02:40,836 --> 00:02:42,336 Big Tiny! 62 00:02:42,371 --> 00:02:46,107 Is being forced to correspond with you part of his punishment? 63 00:02:46,141 --> 00:02:48,409 My church started a pen pal program, 64 00:02:48,444 --> 00:02:51,479 so the prisoners can stay in contact with the outside world. 65 00:02:51,513 --> 00:02:53,381 And just because Big Tiny made 66 00:02:53,415 --> 00:02:55,383 some bad decisions in his life, 67 00:02:55,417 --> 00:02:58,152 doesn't mean he's a bad person. 68 00:02:58,187 --> 00:02:59,720 You never said what he was in for? 69 00:02:59,755 --> 00:03:02,223 - Murder. - What? 70 00:03:02,257 --> 00:03:03,891 Oh, only second degree. 71 00:03:03,926 --> 00:03:05,726 Nobody plans to kill their mama. 72 00:03:06,762 --> 00:03:08,796 Look, he's a changed man. 73 00:03:08,831 --> 00:03:10,531 Listen to this. 74 00:03:10,566 --> 00:03:13,701 "Dearest Yolanda, As I peer out through the bars 75 00:03:13,735 --> 00:03:16,137 "and see the sunlight, I dream of the day 76 00:03:16,171 --> 00:03:17,605 I can soak in its warmth." 77 00:03:17,639 --> 00:03:18,806 Oh, poor man. 78 00:03:18,841 --> 00:03:20,875 He's never gonna feel the warmth. (LAUGHS) 79 00:03:23,145 --> 00:03:26,347 "Well, today that dream becomes a reality. 80 00:03:26,381 --> 00:03:30,151 I'm being released, and I hope that we may finally meet..." 81 00:03:30,185 --> 00:03:31,519 Oh my damn! 82 00:03:33,021 --> 00:03:34,655 They're lettin' him out! 83 00:03:34,690 --> 00:03:36,457 What the hell's wrong with the prison system? 84 00:03:37,459 --> 00:03:39,093 I thought you said he's a changed man? 85 00:03:39,128 --> 00:03:40,595 Oh, grow up! 86 00:03:40,629 --> 00:03:42,897 People don't change! 87 00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:44,599 He's gonna come for me! 88 00:03:44,633 --> 00:03:47,602 - (DOORBELL RINGS) - (BOTH SCREAM) 89 00:03:47,636 --> 00:03:49,070 All right, you get it. 90 00:03:49,104 --> 00:03:50,138 I'm not getting it, you get it. 91 00:03:50,172 --> 00:03:52,640 Oh, hell no! Hide! 92 00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:55,843 (DOORBELL RINGS) 93 00:03:59,281 --> 00:04:00,314 (SCREAMS) 94 00:04:03,719 --> 00:04:05,820 Hey, sorry I rang the bell so many times. 95 00:04:05,854 --> 00:04:06,988 I couldn't find my keys. 96 00:04:07,022 --> 00:04:10,024 Gabi... we need to talk. 97 00:04:10,058 --> 00:04:12,894 Are you breaking up with me? It's fine. It's cool. I can take it. 98 00:04:12,928 --> 00:04:14,262 Why? Is it because I have trampy makeup 99 00:04:14,296 --> 00:04:16,197 and I look like an old hooker? 100 00:04:18,667 --> 00:04:23,804 I'm not breaking up with you, but after I tell you this secret, 101 00:04:23,839 --> 00:04:25,506 I'm afraid you're gonna break up with me. 102 00:04:25,541 --> 00:04:27,875 (GASPS) Are you sick? Are you married? 103 00:04:27,910 --> 00:04:30,344 Do you have a child? (GASPS) You don't like my grilled cheese? 104 00:04:32,614 --> 00:04:34,148 Gabi... 105 00:04:36,018 --> 00:04:37,418 I'm a magician. 106 00:04:39,288 --> 00:04:40,788 What? 107 00:04:40,822 --> 00:04:44,425 Yeah. I'm, uh... I'm "The Great Ma'Josh'in." 108 00:04:46,094 --> 00:04:48,196 That's your secret? You're into magic? 109 00:04:48,230 --> 00:04:50,565 I've loved doin' it since I was a kid, but all my ex-girlfriends 110 00:04:50,599 --> 00:04:53,100 hated it so much, it's actually ended relationships. 111 00:04:53,135 --> 00:04:55,536 And the thing is, I'm hosting this charity event here this weekend, 112 00:04:55,571 --> 00:04:57,772 and they asked me to perform my magic, and it's a really good cause, 113 00:04:57,806 --> 00:05:00,942 and I wanna do it, and I just... I felt like I really needed to tell you. 114 00:05:02,010 --> 00:05:03,744 So, no kid? 115 00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:07,181 Nope. Just the magic. 116 00:05:07,216 --> 00:05:09,050 (SIGHS) Man, that is such a relief. 117 00:05:09,084 --> 00:05:11,052 Why did you make such an issue out of this? 118 00:05:11,086 --> 00:05:12,486 So you're okay with it? 119 00:05:12,521 --> 00:05:14,622 If this is what you love to do, and it makes you happy, 120 00:05:14,656 --> 00:05:17,425 then I support it a million percent. 121 00:05:17,459 --> 00:05:19,460 Gabi, it's official. 122 00:05:19,494 --> 00:05:23,231 You... have the key... to my heart. 123 00:05:23,265 --> 00:05:25,933 Wait a minute. Did you have these the whole time? 124 00:05:25,968 --> 00:05:27,935 Did you take these out of my purse? 125 00:05:27,970 --> 00:05:30,171 Gabi, you are the perfect girlfriend. 126 00:05:30,205 --> 00:05:31,706 Aw. 127 00:05:31,740 --> 00:05:33,541 Wanna go upstairs and make some of our own magic? 128 00:05:33,575 --> 00:05:36,177 - Sure. - Yeah, right. 129 00:05:36,211 --> 00:05:38,813 - (SNEEZES) - Ooh. You need a hanky? 130 00:05:38,847 --> 00:05:41,215 - Thank you. - Oh. Oh. 131 00:05:43,986 --> 00:05:45,553 Ma'Josh'in! 132 00:05:52,327 --> 00:05:55,896 Whew. Well, that was a first. 133 00:05:58,834 --> 00:06:01,469 Yeah. It was. 134 00:06:01,503 --> 00:06:04,905 First time I got to use some of my other magic in here. 135 00:06:04,940 --> 00:06:06,474 What was your favorite part? 136 00:06:06,508 --> 00:06:08,643 Oh, I have to pick just one? 137 00:06:08,677 --> 00:06:10,511 I know, right? I tried a few new things. 138 00:06:10,545 --> 00:06:12,079 Uh-huh. Yeah. 139 00:06:12,114 --> 00:06:13,581 You did. 140 00:06:13,615 --> 00:06:16,417 Well, tell me one. You know, for next time. 141 00:06:16,451 --> 00:06:19,053 Was it my... sleight of hand? 142 00:06:19,087 --> 00:06:20,492 When I was about to touch you in one place... 143 00:06:20,503 --> 00:06:21,265 But then touching me 144 00:06:21,290 --> 00:06:25,226 in the opposite place? Yeah. Huh. Didn't see that comin'! 145 00:06:25,260 --> 00:06:26,761 Or how about when I threw my voice? 146 00:06:26,795 --> 00:06:27,962 Instead of yelling "Yes," I yelled... 147 00:06:27,996 --> 00:06:30,197 "Shazam"? Yeah, I was like, 148 00:06:30,232 --> 00:06:32,333 "Where the heck did that shazam come from?" 149 00:06:33,735 --> 00:06:36,003 - Gabi, I love you. - Mm-hmm. 150 00:06:36,038 --> 00:06:38,372 And now that I know that you know everything about me, 151 00:06:38,407 --> 00:06:40,174 and you still love me, 152 00:06:40,208 --> 00:06:42,376 well, that just makes our relationship even more... 153 00:06:42,411 --> 00:06:43,412 Magical? 154 00:06:43,423 --> 00:06:46,424 You took the word right out of my mouth! 155 00:06:46,448 --> 00:06:47,748 And now, 156 00:06:47,783 --> 00:06:51,118 I'm gonna take something out of yours. 157 00:06:54,323 --> 00:06:56,157 Wow. I can't believe 158 00:06:56,191 --> 00:06:58,492 your other girlfriends didn't like this. 159 00:07:03,850 --> 00:07:06,810 Well, that dinner went worse than expected. 160 00:07:07,257 --> 00:07:10,726 Nick, what on Earth would make you flirt with my abuelita? 161 00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:13,962 I told you, that's my thing. It works every time. 162 00:07:13,997 --> 00:07:16,398 Well, she saw right through it. You know what she called you? 163 00:07:16,432 --> 00:07:18,333 A suck-up. Now she'll never trust you. 164 00:07:18,368 --> 00:07:19,568 Think I should send her flowers? 165 00:07:19,602 --> 00:07:21,436 Oh my God, you are a suck-up. 166 00:07:21,471 --> 00:07:23,472 You know what? You're mean. 167 00:07:23,506 --> 00:07:24,773 You take after her. 168 00:07:24,808 --> 00:07:27,042 I'm not mean, and she's not either. 169 00:07:27,076 --> 00:07:29,011 She is honest, and she's usually right, 170 00:07:29,045 --> 00:07:31,914 which is why people want her approval. 171 00:07:31,948 --> 00:07:33,415 - No, she's mean. - I know. 172 00:07:34,651 --> 00:07:36,185 Aah! Abuelita! 173 00:07:37,520 --> 00:07:39,454 Well, my sex life is over. 174 00:07:39,489 --> 00:07:41,390 Gabi, Abuelita hated Nick. 175 00:07:41,424 --> 00:07:42,758 - I wanna go first. - No, I wanna go first. 176 00:07:42,792 --> 00:07:45,194 How about I go first? Sofia, see you tomorrow. 177 00:07:45,228 --> 00:07:47,830 - Okay, but you still love me, right? - Yeah, I love you. 178 00:07:50,166 --> 00:07:54,570 Get this! Josh is a magician! 179 00:07:56,706 --> 00:07:58,640 - Oh my God. - I know. 180 00:07:58,675 --> 00:08:02,344 God, it was horrible. There was a cape. There was a top hat. 181 00:08:02,378 --> 00:08:05,113 He did magic tricks in bed. Magic tricks in bed, Sofia. 182 00:08:05,148 --> 00:08:06,882 Oh my God, did he make something disappear? 183 00:08:06,916 --> 00:08:09,484 Oh, just my sexual satisfaction. 184 00:08:09,519 --> 00:08:11,587 I mean, I still love him and everything, 185 00:08:11,621 --> 00:08:13,722 but for the first time ever with Josh, I had to fake it. 186 00:08:13,756 --> 00:08:15,858 - You faked your "O"? - Oh, indeed I did. 187 00:08:15,892 --> 00:08:19,094 Not that he noticed. He was too busy trying to catch a dove he released. 188 00:08:20,697 --> 00:08:23,365 God, I never should've told him I was supportive of his magic. 189 00:08:23,399 --> 00:08:24,700 What the hell am I gonna do about Nick? 190 00:08:24,734 --> 00:08:26,535 Okay, how did we get back to your thing? 191 00:08:26,569 --> 00:08:27,603 Magic? 192 00:08:28,771 --> 00:08:31,373 Sofia, we already discussed this, okay? 193 00:08:31,407 --> 00:08:32,941 You don't have to impress her. 194 00:08:32,976 --> 00:08:35,744 You want Abuelita to like Nick, you just have to stand up to her, okay? 195 00:08:35,778 --> 00:08:37,613 You're a freakin' adult now. 196 00:08:37,653 --> 00:08:39,187 Well, you're a freakin' adult, too, 197 00:08:39,215 --> 00:08:41,350 and you can't even tell Josh that you hate his magic. 198 00:08:41,384 --> 00:08:43,083 (SIGHS) Man, it would just be so much 199 00:08:43,094 --> 00:08:45,297 easier if you could tell Josh my problem, 200 00:08:45,321 --> 00:08:47,356 and I could tell Abuelita your problem. 201 00:08:48,725 --> 00:08:51,226 - What? - You're afraid to talk to Josh, 202 00:08:51,261 --> 00:08:53,028 and I'm afraid to talk to Abuelita. 203 00:08:53,062 --> 00:08:55,097 So, why don't we just switch? 204 00:08:55,131 --> 00:08:57,199 Oh my God! That's genius! 205 00:08:57,233 --> 00:09:00,068 If you can't handle somethin', you just give it to someone else who can! 206 00:09:00,103 --> 00:09:02,371 That's what an adult would do! 207 00:09:08,177 --> 00:09:09,711 - (DOORBELL RINGS) - Ooh! 208 00:09:09,746 --> 00:09:11,380 (WHISPERS) Elliot! 209 00:09:11,414 --> 00:09:14,883 I know, I know. If it's Big Tiny, tell him you're dead. 210 00:09:16,886 --> 00:09:18,954 Hi, I'm Big Tiny. I'm here to see Yolanda. 211 00:09:18,988 --> 00:09:20,422 Oh, she dead. 212 00:09:20,456 --> 00:09:21,757 Oh! 213 00:09:23,559 --> 00:09:26,094 Dead tired, from waitin' on you. 214 00:09:26,129 --> 00:09:29,298 Damn, girl. Them pictures you were sendin' me 215 00:09:29,332 --> 00:09:31,033 did not do you justice. 216 00:09:31,067 --> 00:09:33,735 Neither did yours. Boop, boop. 217 00:09:33,770 --> 00:09:36,271 Well, you know, I don't take a good mug shot. 218 00:09:36,306 --> 00:09:40,609 But anyway, I... I know this is fast, but I was locked up for a long time. 219 00:09:40,643 --> 00:09:42,110 You wanna kick it with me tonight? 220 00:09:42,145 --> 00:09:45,881 Oh... (GIGGLES) Well, I have this charity event here tonight. 221 00:09:45,915 --> 00:09:47,582 Um, but if you wanna come. 222 00:09:47,617 --> 00:09:49,885 Oh, I'd love to. Are they gonna have 223 00:09:49,919 --> 00:09:51,887 those cream cheese and cucumber finger sandwiches? 224 00:09:51,921 --> 00:09:54,289 Ooh, I love those. 225 00:09:54,324 --> 00:09:56,373 You know, when I thought I was gonna get the chair, 226 00:09:56,384 --> 00:09:58,203 that was gonna be my final meal. 227 00:09:58,227 --> 00:10:01,029 Oh! See you at seven? 228 00:10:01,064 --> 00:10:03,065 - Seven it is. - Seven. 229 00:10:03,099 --> 00:10:04,166 Mm. 230 00:10:07,904 --> 00:10:11,039 Yolanda? You're going out with a murderer? 231 00:10:11,074 --> 00:10:12,607 You saw him. 232 00:10:14,243 --> 00:10:16,578 I'll take my chances. 233 00:10:16,612 --> 00:10:19,815 So he's going from prison bitch to big ol' bitch? 234 00:10:26,522 --> 00:10:27,249 - (KNOCKING) - Hey, Josh. 235 00:10:27,282 --> 00:10:29,411 Hey, Sofia. I think Gabi already went 236 00:10:29,422 --> 00:10:30,802 home to get ready for the fundraiser. 237 00:10:30,827 --> 00:10:32,995 Actually, I'm here to talk to you. 238 00:10:33,029 --> 00:10:35,130 About your... performance. 239 00:10:35,164 --> 00:10:37,042 Oh, yeah. The Great Ma'Josh'in. 240 00:10:37,122 --> 00:10:40,368 Yes. So, Gabi told me about your magic 241 00:10:40,379 --> 00:10:43,138 and how she said she was totally okay with it. 242 00:10:43,172 --> 00:10:44,973 Isn't she the best? 243 00:10:45,008 --> 00:10:48,210 I mean, it felt so good for me to finally get that off my chest, 244 00:10:48,244 --> 00:10:50,112 and the fact that she's so supportive of me, 245 00:10:50,146 --> 00:10:53,515 when all the other girls were so mean. 246 00:10:53,549 --> 00:10:55,283 It makes me love her even more. 247 00:10:57,653 --> 00:11:00,756 (SIGHS) I'm sorry. What were you gonna tell me? 248 00:11:00,790 --> 00:11:03,625 - Um... - It doesn't matter. 249 00:11:03,659 --> 00:11:05,260 Think of a card. 250 00:11:06,362 --> 00:11:08,397 Happy Birthday, Mom. 251 00:11:14,170 --> 00:11:15,404 Abuelita? 252 00:11:19,675 --> 00:11:20,976 There's something I need to tell you. 253 00:11:21,010 --> 00:11:22,110 What? 254 00:11:25,615 --> 00:11:28,083 Aye, come on. Cat got the old hooker's tongue? 255 00:11:30,787 --> 00:11:32,754 All right. That's it! 256 00:11:32,789 --> 00:11:35,457 You are an evil old woman. 257 00:11:35,491 --> 00:11:37,993 All right, that was from me. This one's from Sofia. 258 00:11:38,027 --> 00:11:40,295 She is sick and tired of bending over backwards 259 00:11:40,329 --> 00:11:43,065 to try and get your approval. I mean, she finally found a guy 260 00:11:43,099 --> 00:11:45,434 that she's crazy about, and he's crazy about her... 261 00:11:45,468 --> 00:11:47,636 Oh, you can turn away from me all you want, 262 00:11:47,670 --> 00:11:49,571 but it's not gonna stop me. 263 00:11:49,605 --> 00:11:51,573 (SIGHS) Sofia and Nick really care about each other, 264 00:11:51,607 --> 00:11:53,645 and they have amazing sex, unlike me, 265 00:11:53,656 --> 00:11:56,188 because I'm dating a freakin' magician now! 266 00:11:56,212 --> 00:11:58,713 But they are very happy together, and if you can't accept that, 267 00:11:58,748 --> 00:12:01,650 then that is just too freakin' bad, because you know what? 268 00:12:01,684 --> 00:12:03,785 We are adults. 269 00:12:06,189 --> 00:12:08,857 Heh! Got nothin' to stay to that, do you, Abuelita? 270 00:12:10,893 --> 00:12:12,494 Abuelita? 271 00:12:16,032 --> 00:12:17,532 Abuelita? (GASPS) 272 00:12:17,567 --> 00:12:19,101 Oh my God, I killed her! 273 00:12:21,304 --> 00:12:23,572 I knew being an adult was a bad idea! 274 00:12:29,049 --> 00:12:32,502 Yes, thank you, just, um, just send the ambulance as soon as you can. 275 00:12:32,596 --> 00:12:35,231 Although I don't know why you need to rush because she's already dead. 276 00:12:37,934 --> 00:12:40,002 - Sofia. - Hey, Gabi. 277 00:12:40,036 --> 00:12:41,770 I have some bad news. 278 00:12:41,805 --> 00:12:44,740 - Me too. - You first. 279 00:12:44,774 --> 00:12:48,444 Okay. Gabi, I really tried to tell Josh how you feel, 280 00:12:48,478 --> 00:12:51,480 I really did. But he seemed so excited that you loved his magic. 281 00:12:51,515 --> 00:12:53,983 I think telling him the truth would've just killed him. 282 00:12:58,555 --> 00:13:03,792 I understand. But, you know, if you had told him, and it did kill him, 283 00:13:03,827 --> 00:13:06,729 I would not have blamed you, at all. 284 00:13:06,763 --> 00:13:08,531 Now, about Abuelita... 285 00:13:08,565 --> 00:13:10,299 You couldn't tell her, either? 286 00:13:10,333 --> 00:13:11,279 Well, I started to... 287 00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:13,812 And then she freaked you out with her death stare? 288 00:13:16,573 --> 00:13:17,740 What the hell is wrong with us? 289 00:13:17,774 --> 00:13:20,142 I couldn't tell Josh, you couldn't tell Abuelita. 290 00:13:20,176 --> 00:13:22,912 Well, you know what? Real adults tackle their own problems. 291 00:13:22,946 --> 00:13:25,147 I'm goin' in. 292 00:13:25,181 --> 00:13:28,150 Okay, well, you know, just remember, she was old. 293 00:13:29,152 --> 00:13:30,819 Abuelita? 294 00:13:30,854 --> 00:13:34,456 I'm an adult now, okay? And that means that I do what I want, 295 00:13:34,491 --> 00:13:36,959 I date who I want, and I have sex with who I want. 296 00:13:36,993 --> 00:13:39,795 Yeah, that's right. I know my way around a penis. 297 00:13:41,531 --> 00:13:44,133 Oh, you got nothing to say? Well, I don't care. 298 00:13:44,167 --> 00:13:46,502 I am actually done with caring about what you think, 299 00:13:46,536 --> 00:13:48,871 because you will never approve of me or my choices. 300 00:13:48,905 --> 00:13:50,839 So, you know what, you're dead to me. 301 00:13:53,843 --> 00:13:55,277 Abuelita? 302 00:13:56,780 --> 00:13:58,247 Abuelita? 303 00:13:58,281 --> 00:14:02,184 (GASPS) Oh my God, Sofia, I think you killed Abuelita! 304 00:14:03,587 --> 00:14:05,854 Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! 305 00:14:05,889 --> 00:14:07,556 - Surprise! - (SCREAMS) My God! 306 00:14:07,591 --> 00:14:09,525 Oh my God! You're alive! 307 00:14:09,559 --> 00:14:12,027 Of course I am alive. 308 00:14:12,062 --> 00:14:14,663 And finally proud of you! 309 00:14:14,698 --> 00:14:17,633 Do you know how long I've been waiting for you to stand up for yourself? 310 00:14:17,667 --> 00:14:21,904 - What? - Every culture has a rite of passage, 311 00:14:21,938 --> 00:14:23,305 when you go from child to adult. 312 00:14:23,340 --> 00:14:27,042 The Jews have bar mitzvahs, the Amish have Rumspringa, 313 00:14:27,077 --> 00:14:30,646 and we... have screaming at the abuelita. 314 00:14:32,716 --> 00:14:35,584 Wait. So screaming at you, what, makes me an adult? 315 00:14:35,619 --> 00:14:40,923 It does. How are you ever going to stand up for yourself 316 00:14:40,957 --> 00:14:44,059 if you can't stand up to your own abuelita? 317 00:14:44,094 --> 00:14:47,963 Now you are ready to have a healthy relationship with Nick. 318 00:14:49,432 --> 00:14:51,266 Do you like him? I mean, I don't care. I don't care. 319 00:14:52,769 --> 00:14:54,136 Si, me gusta. 320 00:14:54,170 --> 00:14:56,038 (BOTH GIGGLING) 321 00:14:56,072 --> 00:14:58,107 I want a healthy relationship with Josh. 322 00:14:58,141 --> 00:15:01,477 - What's the emergency? - I gotta go tell my boyfriend I hate magic! 323 00:15:03,747 --> 00:15:06,415 - Wait. Who called you? - Gotta go! 324 00:15:12,288 --> 00:15:15,658 Madame Yolanda, how are you doin' in there? 325 00:15:16,860 --> 00:15:18,560 I'm hot. 326 00:15:20,063 --> 00:15:22,865 She's hot. Well, when someone's hot, 327 00:15:22,899 --> 00:15:26,001 we give them... air. 328 00:15:40,350 --> 00:15:41,383 Uh-oh! 329 00:15:41,418 --> 00:15:43,218 (GASPING) 330 00:15:43,253 --> 00:15:46,255 Looks like the Great Ma'Josh'in made a great mistake-in. 331 00:15:46,289 --> 00:15:48,190 (AUDIENCE APPLAUDS) 332 00:15:48,224 --> 00:15:49,925 Well, that's better. 333 00:15:51,261 --> 00:15:54,396 If you ever wanna make my clothes disappear... 334 00:15:54,431 --> 00:15:56,932 (WHISPERS) you don't need magic. 335 00:15:56,966 --> 00:15:58,701 (LAUGHS) Okay. 336 00:15:58,735 --> 00:16:01,570 Get off the stage. 337 00:16:01,604 --> 00:16:03,238 The Ma'Josh'in! 338 00:16:05,341 --> 00:16:09,378 Hey, Big Tiny. Uh, my part is done. You wanna sneak out of here? 339 00:16:09,412 --> 00:16:11,080 Girl, how you think I got out of prison? 340 00:16:11,114 --> 00:16:13,248 - Mm? - I'm kiddin'. I'm kiddin'. 341 00:16:13,283 --> 00:16:15,384 I went through the proper channels. 342 00:16:15,418 --> 00:16:16,885 - Let's get out of here. - Let's go. 343 00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:19,521 Oh my God. Where's my watch? 344 00:16:19,556 --> 00:16:22,991 - My tennis bracelet's missing! - (AUDIENCE MURMURING) 345 00:16:23,026 --> 00:16:24,860 What? 346 00:16:24,894 --> 00:16:28,197 - You didn't. - You're right. I didn't. 347 00:16:28,231 --> 00:16:31,066 Come on. You knew there was gonna be a bunch of rich people here. 348 00:16:31,101 --> 00:16:35,003 What am I supposed to think? Obviously, you're the one that took them. 349 00:16:35,038 --> 00:16:38,307 - Hey, my watch is back! - So's my bracelet! 350 00:16:38,341 --> 00:16:39,508 The Ma'Josh'in! 351 00:16:39,542 --> 00:16:42,811 (AUDIENCE APPLAUDS) 352 00:16:42,846 --> 00:16:46,281 Uh... Aah! Oh, but, Tiny, wait, wait, wait! 353 00:16:46,316 --> 00:16:48,016 I'm so sorry. 354 00:16:48,051 --> 00:16:50,419 Yolanda, you're a beautiful woman, 355 00:16:50,453 --> 00:16:52,921 and you deserve a beautiful man. 356 00:16:52,956 --> 00:16:54,623 Which is me. 357 00:16:54,657 --> 00:16:57,292 But, unfortunately, we can't be together. 358 00:16:57,327 --> 00:16:59,561 I can see you're never gonna be able to trust me. 359 00:17:01,531 --> 00:17:05,868 - Goodbye, Yolanda. - (WHIMPERING) Oh! My damn! 360 00:17:05,902 --> 00:17:08,337 Damn! Damn! 361 00:17:09,472 --> 00:17:12,608 Wait, hold up a second. Where's my watch? 362 00:17:14,644 --> 00:17:16,729 All right, ladies and gentlemen, for my 363 00:17:16,740 --> 00:17:19,091 next trick I need a volunteer... You! 364 00:17:19,115 --> 00:17:21,116 Beautiful blonde girl who I've never met. 365 00:17:21,151 --> 00:17:23,952 - Uh, Josh, Josh... - Oh, don't be shy, miss. 366 00:17:23,987 --> 00:17:25,587 Come on, give her a big hand. 367 00:17:25,622 --> 00:17:27,389 Josh, um, I don't wanna do this. 368 00:17:27,423 --> 00:17:29,725 - Can I just watch? - No, no, you are in the capable hands 369 00:17:29,759 --> 00:17:32,928 of the Great Ma'Josh'in. Now if you'll please step inside this hoop. 370 00:17:32,962 --> 00:17:34,596 (WHISPERING) No, seriously, I don't wanna do this. 371 00:17:34,631 --> 00:17:36,965 (QUIETLY) Gabi, the guy in the front row owns the Magic Hut downtown, 372 00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:39,268 and if I'm good he'll let me perform on Saturdays. 373 00:17:39,302 --> 00:17:40,010 So? 374 00:17:40,021 --> 00:17:42,147 So, if we're good together, you can be my assistant. 375 00:17:42,172 --> 00:17:46,141 - Now smile. - Why would I smile? I'm not happy. 376 00:17:46,176 --> 00:17:49,444 Guys, how many times have you had to wait for your date 377 00:17:49,479 --> 00:17:51,847 to choose the perfect outfit? 378 00:17:51,881 --> 00:17:54,249 Well, wait... no more. 379 00:17:55,652 --> 00:17:57,286 What the hell? 380 00:17:57,320 --> 00:17:59,922 (AUDIENCE MURMURS) 381 00:17:59,956 --> 00:18:03,091 Are you kidding me? Josh, this has to stop. This isn't fun. 382 00:18:03,126 --> 00:18:06,962 Well then, let's do it again, because girls just wanna have fun. 383 00:18:09,632 --> 00:18:12,868 (AUDIENCE APPLAUDS) 384 00:18:12,902 --> 00:18:14,536 All right, that's it. I hate this. 385 00:18:14,571 --> 00:18:16,839 I get it. Who wants to be a clown? 386 00:18:16,873 --> 00:18:18,240 (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) 387 00:18:18,274 --> 00:18:19,842 No, I hate magic! 388 00:18:19,876 --> 00:18:20,776 What? 389 00:18:20,787 --> 00:18:23,488 Everything about it! Your outfit, my outfit, 390 00:18:23,513 --> 00:18:26,148 what you're saying, the weird way you're saying it, 391 00:18:26,182 --> 00:18:29,151 the coins coming out of my ears, the flowers coming out of my mouth, 392 00:18:29,185 --> 00:18:31,153 I hate it, I hate all of it! 393 00:18:36,593 --> 00:18:38,427 The Ma'Josh'in! 394 00:18:48,404 --> 00:18:50,339 - What? - I'm sorry. 395 00:18:50,373 --> 00:18:52,140 This is really not the way I wanted to tell you, 396 00:18:52,175 --> 00:18:54,343 but you kind of forced my hand. 397 00:18:54,377 --> 00:18:57,746 I don't understand. You said you liked magic. 398 00:18:57,780 --> 00:19:00,449 - I don't. - But you said you did. 399 00:19:00,483 --> 00:19:02,150 I mean, why would you say you did if you don't? 400 00:19:02,185 --> 00:19:03,819 I was just trying to be supportive. 401 00:19:03,853 --> 00:19:05,554 I was trying to be the perfect girlfriend. 402 00:19:05,588 --> 00:19:08,357 But then you started doing the magic, and then you did the sleight of hand, 403 00:19:08,391 --> 00:19:11,093 and then I had to... fake it. 404 00:19:12,795 --> 00:19:15,063 Fake it? Fake liking magic? 405 00:19:15,098 --> 00:19:18,300 No, I had to fake... it. 406 00:19:18,334 --> 00:19:20,068 Gabi, I don't know what you're re... 407 00:19:21,704 --> 00:19:23,839 Oh my! You had to fake it in there? 408 00:19:23,873 --> 00:19:25,173 Sorry, it's never happened before. 409 00:19:25,208 --> 00:19:26,909 That was the first time. 410 00:19:26,943 --> 00:19:29,077 So what does this mean? Are you not attracted to me anymore? 411 00:19:29,112 --> 00:19:33,315 Oh, no, not, you. Ma'Josh'in. 412 00:19:36,886 --> 00:19:38,420 (SIGHS) 413 00:19:42,659 --> 00:19:44,559 I'm sorry. 414 00:19:44,594 --> 00:19:46,795 I guess I'm not your perfect girl anymore. 415 00:19:48,331 --> 00:19:50,966 Yeah, you still are. 416 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:54,036 None of those other girls even tried liking it. 417 00:19:54,070 --> 00:19:58,106 Josh, I tried. I really did try. 418 00:19:58,141 --> 00:20:01,376 And how about this? If you still wanna do the magic, 419 00:20:01,411 --> 00:20:05,948 you... you can, just, you know, not here, or anywhere I am. 420 00:20:07,650 --> 00:20:09,952 Deal. 421 00:20:09,986 --> 00:20:14,056 So, um, you feel like giving me a shot at an encore performance? 422 00:20:14,090 --> 00:20:16,158 Hell, yeah. Wait. Wait. Of sex, right? 423 00:20:16,192 --> 00:20:17,726 - Yes. Yes. - Okay. 424 00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:20,028 - (BIRD SINGING) - Oh my God, there's my dove. 425 00:20:23,057 --> 00:20:25,200 Come on. Gabi, come on! We're gonna be late. 426 00:20:25,267 --> 00:20:28,303 I know, I'm sorry, I couldn't figure out the right outfit. 427 00:20:28,337 --> 00:20:30,672 Oh. I can help with that. 428 00:20:30,706 --> 00:20:32,507 Josh, I thought I made it very clear 429 00:20:32,541 --> 00:20:34,142 that I didn't want you to do 430 00:20:34,176 --> 00:20:37,378 this whole outfit switcheroo thing, it... 431 00:20:37,413 --> 00:20:40,815 Oh. This is actually cuter. 432 00:20:46,922 --> 00:20:48,223 You can say it. 433 00:20:48,257 --> 00:20:49,858 The Ma'Josh'in! 434 00:20:49,906 --> 00:20:55,126 - Synced & Corrected by Dragoniod - www.addic7ed.com33522

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