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Previously on The Affair:
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00:00:05,928 --> 00:00:08,095
Mr. Solloway,
you, uh, got a second?
3
00:00:08,178 --> 00:00:10,429
-What's up?
-I was, um, wondering if you
4
00:00:10,512 --> 00:00:12,928
could take a look at this other
thing I've been working on.
5
00:00:13,012 --> 00:00:15,679
-You reapplying to Princeton?
-Maybe. I don't... I don't know.
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[assistant] Mr. Solloway,
Principal Wilson's on the phone
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with the president of the board.
You shouldn't--
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00:00:19,846 --> 00:00:21,928
-Are you firing me?
-What-what's going on?
9
00:00:22,012 --> 00:00:23,887
-Why are you here?
-I thought you should read this.
10
00:00:23,970 --> 00:00:25,887
Don't tell him
I gave it to you.
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00:00:25,970 --> 00:00:29,178
-I owe you an apology.
-No, no, I-I barged in.
12
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-So, you still my boss?
-I'm on probation.
13
00:00:32,178 --> 00:00:34,470
Next week, I have to
supplicate to the board.
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00:00:34,554 --> 00:00:36,137
Thank you for this.
15
00:00:36,220 --> 00:00:38,928
I'll read it over
and figure out what to do.
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00:00:39,012 --> 00:00:40,970
[Noah] I'm happy
to brainstorm with you.
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00:00:42,887 --> 00:00:44,095
[Anton]
Forgot my history book.
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00:00:44,178 --> 00:00:46,387
I got my quiz tomorrow, and...
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00:00:46,470 --> 00:00:48,554
-Mom?
-We were just, um,
20
00:00:48,637 --> 00:00:49,928
discussing your
Princeton essay.
21
00:00:50,012 --> 00:00:51,762
-You showed her?
-Princeton? Again?
22
00:00:51,846 --> 00:00:53,095
[Janelle] He wants
to go to the school.
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00:00:53,178 --> 00:00:54,345
[Carl]
We made a decision.
24
00:00:54,429 --> 00:00:56,012
[Janelle]
Just read the damn thing!
25
00:00:56,095 --> 00:00:59,053
Nellie, let's just admit
what this is actually about.
26
00:00:59,137 --> 00:01:01,178
You were never gonna let him
stay here for school.
27
00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:03,012
[Nan] No one drives
all the way across the country
28
00:01:03,095 --> 00:01:05,387
just to see about a surfboard.
29
00:01:05,470 --> 00:01:07,762
[Cole] Truth is I'm in love
with somebody else.
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00:01:07,846 --> 00:01:10,220
I'm gonna tell her how I feel.
So I'm going home.
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00:01:10,304 --> 00:01:12,304
I'm so glad that you guys
moved in here.
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00:01:12,387 --> 00:01:14,762
The last people had
a very stagnant energy.
33
00:01:14,846 --> 00:01:16,970
But you...
your being is, like...
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00:01:17,053 --> 00:01:19,095
it's a little...
[clicks tongue]
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00:01:19,178 --> 00:01:20,928
-It is?
-Yeah, I don't know.
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00:01:21,012 --> 00:01:22,721
I-I guess we'll find out.
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00:01:22,804 --> 00:01:24,928
[Vik]
I'm going to die.
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00:01:25,012 --> 00:01:28,554
And I haven't really
made a single choice
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00:01:28,637 --> 00:01:30,178
for myself.
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00:01:31,928 --> 00:01:33,554
[Sierra] I am going
to Joshua Tree.
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00:01:33,637 --> 00:01:36,220
We go out there a couple times
a year to do a moon circle.
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-Do you want to come?
-I totally, totally don't.
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00:01:37,804 --> 00:01:38,970
-Oh, okay.
-Okay?
44
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Cool.
45
00:01:40,262 --> 00:01:42,429
I have pancreatic cancer.
46
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I am going to die.
47
00:01:43,512 --> 00:01:44,762
What do you want me to do?
48
00:01:44,846 --> 00:01:47,178
I told you,
I want to have a baby.
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00:01:47,262 --> 00:01:49,220
If you really want
to do something for me,
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00:01:49,304 --> 00:01:51,053
you can do that.
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00:02:00,304 --> 00:02:02,762
♪ I was screaming
into the canyon ♪
52
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♪ At the moment of my death ♪
53
00:02:05,928 --> 00:02:09,470
♪ The echo I created ♪
54
00:02:09,554 --> 00:02:13,053
♪ Outlasted my last breath ♪
55
00:02:13,137 --> 00:02:16,178
♪ My voice it made
an avalanche ♪
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00:02:16,262 --> 00:02:19,262
♪ And buried a man
I never knew ♪
57
00:02:19,345 --> 00:02:22,470
♪ And when he died,
his widowed bride ♪
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00:02:22,554 --> 00:02:25,053
♪ Met your daddy
and they made you ♪
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00:02:25,137 --> 00:02:27,262
♪ I have only one thing to do ♪
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00:02:27,345 --> 00:02:29,429
♪ And that's be the wave
that I am, and then ♪
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♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪
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00:02:32,137 --> 00:02:34,053
♪ I have only one thing to do ♪
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00:02:34,137 --> 00:02:36,178
♪ And that's be the wave
that I am, and then ♪
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00:02:36,262 --> 00:02:38,220
♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪
65
00:02:38,304 --> 00:02:40,429
♪ I have only one thing to do ♪
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00:02:40,512 --> 00:02:42,928
♪ And that's be the wave
that I am, and then ♪
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00:02:43,012 --> 00:02:46,178
♪ Sink back into the ocean,
sink back into the ocean ♪
68
00:02:46,262 --> 00:02:47,928
♪ Sink back into the o... ♪
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00:02:48,012 --> 00:02:49,095
♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪
70
00:02:49,178 --> 00:02:51,095
♪ Sink back into the o... ♪
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00:02:51,178 --> 00:02:52,887
♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪
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00:02:52,970 --> 00:02:54,928
♪ Sink back
into the ocean ♪
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[soft background music playing]
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Excuse me.
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00:03:23,596 --> 00:03:25,554
Do you know where
I can find rolled oats?
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00:03:25,637 --> 00:03:27,429
Aisle four,
beside the granola.
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00:03:27,512 --> 00:03:29,470
-Excuse me, can you--
-Are you making overnight oats?
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00:03:29,554 --> 00:03:30,887
No. What are
overnight oats?
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00:03:30,970 --> 00:03:32,512
My sister turned me on to them.
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If you're like me,
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00:03:33,721 --> 00:03:35,262
a total wreck
in the morning,
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it'll save your life.
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00:03:37,137 --> 00:03:38,470
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
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00:03:38,554 --> 00:03:39,887
It's only like
five ingredients.
85
00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:41,846
-Okay.
-Rolled oats, almond milk,
86
00:03:41,928 --> 00:03:44,512
chia seed, peanut butter...
87
00:03:44,596 --> 00:03:45,970
Oh, shit.
88
00:03:46,053 --> 00:03:47,554
Chia seed,
peanut butter,
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00:03:47,637 --> 00:03:49,095
almond milk...
maple syrup!
90
00:03:49,178 --> 00:03:50,679
And you need
a mason jar.
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00:03:50,762 --> 00:03:51,928
Do you have one?
92
00:03:52,012 --> 00:03:53,220
One with a
really good top?
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00:03:53,304 --> 00:03:55,095
-I think so.
-[Helen] Excuse me. Could you
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00:03:55,178 --> 00:03:57,178
please tell me where
to find the Medjool dates?
95
00:03:58,262 --> 00:03:59,262
Oh. Sorry, sweetheart.
96
00:03:59,345 --> 00:04:00,345
What do you need?
97
00:04:02,470 --> 00:04:04,512
Medjool dates.
98
00:04:04,596 --> 00:04:05,846
I can't find them anywhere.
99
00:04:05,928 --> 00:04:08,012
Sure, sure. Aisle seven.
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00:04:10,429 --> 00:04:12,470
[clerk] So, the key is to mix
everything together--
101
00:04:12,554 --> 00:04:15,178
And can you tell me where
the pregnancy tests are, please?
102
00:04:16,470 --> 00:04:17,512
Aisle two.
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[sighs]
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♪ quiet, ambient music ♪
105
00:04:35,262 --> 00:04:37,220
♪ ♪ ♪
106
00:04:41,637 --> 00:04:43,387
[sighs]
107
00:04:49,220 --> 00:04:51,304
♪ I can never get enough... ♪
108
00:04:51,387 --> 00:04:53,721
Mom, why are you taking
so many pills?
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00:04:53,804 --> 00:04:55,970
Um, they're vitamins,
and they're for Vik.
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00:04:56,053 --> 00:04:58,512
I thought, if I organized them,
he might actually take them.
111
00:04:58,596 --> 00:04:59,762
Oh.
112
00:04:59,846 --> 00:05:02,053
They're cancer vitamins?
113
00:05:02,137 --> 00:05:04,053
♪ As for me, I've got it
all right here ♪
114
00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:06,178
I love that song.
Turn it up.
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00:05:06,262 --> 00:05:08,012
♪ You're all I need,
I'm just a boy... ♪
116
00:05:08,095 --> 00:05:09,762
Actually, why don't you
turn it off?
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00:05:09,846 --> 00:05:11,970
All right,
you guys, come on.
118
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-Backpacks, lunches.
-[music stops]
119
00:05:13,262 --> 00:05:14,721
Homework. Let's go.
120
00:05:15,887 --> 00:05:17,137
-Let's go.
-Hold on.
121
00:05:17,220 --> 00:05:19,345
-No. Come on.
-I'm going.
122
00:05:19,429 --> 00:05:22,095
-You're not going.
-Yes, I am!
123
00:05:31,637 --> 00:05:33,012
Can I talk to you?
124
00:05:33,095 --> 00:05:34,262
What's up?
125
00:05:35,762 --> 00:05:38,053
I took a pregnancy test
this morning.
126
00:05:39,137 --> 00:05:41,012
Why would you do that?
127
00:05:41,095 --> 00:05:42,846
Because I'm late.
128
00:05:42,928 --> 00:05:45,637
We were just at the doctor.
You're not pregnant.
129
00:05:45,721 --> 00:05:48,262
Yeah, I... well,
I know that now. I--
130
00:05:48,345 --> 00:05:49,596
Didn't you hear anything
that Dr. Roper said?
131
00:05:49,679 --> 00:05:51,262
Yeah.
132
00:05:51,345 --> 00:05:54,137
You're entering
menopause, Helen.
133
00:05:54,220 --> 00:05:56,970
That's why your period is late.
134
00:05:57,053 --> 00:05:58,804
[sighs]
135
00:05:58,887 --> 00:06:00,470
You know, things can happen.
136
00:06:01,512 --> 00:06:03,137
It's not impossible.
137
00:06:04,178 --> 00:06:06,470
Janet Jackson was older than me.
138
00:06:08,721 --> 00:06:10,137
Don't you think I'm too young
to be in menopause?
139
00:06:11,804 --> 00:06:13,804
Don't you think
I'm too young to die?
140
00:06:18,470 --> 00:06:19,512
Vik, wait.
141
00:06:19,596 --> 00:06:20,637
Kids, let's go!
142
00:06:23,512 --> 00:06:25,637
I'll make sure
he takes them, Mom.
143
00:06:25,721 --> 00:06:27,220
Thanks, baby.
144
00:06:27,304 --> 00:06:28,846
Bye.
145
00:06:32,220 --> 00:06:34,137
♪ quiet, ambient music ♪
146
00:06:34,220 --> 00:06:36,178
♪ ♪ ♪
147
00:07:01,429 --> 00:07:02,679
[gasps, chuckles]
148
00:07:02,762 --> 00:07:03,887
Helen.
149
00:07:03,970 --> 00:07:04,928
Oh, my God,
you scared me.
150
00:07:05,012 --> 00:07:06,596
Hi.
151
00:07:06,679 --> 00:07:08,304
[panting]
152
00:07:08,387 --> 00:07:09,512
You want some?
153
00:07:11,220 --> 00:07:13,721
Yeah. Sure.
154
00:07:17,970 --> 00:07:20,178
I know you hate California.
155
00:07:20,262 --> 00:07:22,345
You have to admit,
we have better weed.
156
00:07:22,429 --> 00:07:24,679
When did I say
I hated California?
157
00:07:24,762 --> 00:07:26,387
I can just tell.
158
00:07:26,470 --> 00:07:29,053
You're one of those
East Coast snobs
159
00:07:29,137 --> 00:07:32,554
who just loves to act
like you're in exile out here.
160
00:07:34,804 --> 00:07:37,429
Oh, no. Where is that
cookbook your mother wrote?
161
00:07:37,512 --> 00:07:38,887
It's in there.
162
00:07:38,970 --> 00:07:40,554
Yeah, but which one?
163
00:07:40,637 --> 00:07:43,012
See, the thing that you
transplants don't understand
164
00:07:43,095 --> 00:07:46,596
is that California is actually
the cradle of civilization.
165
00:07:46,679 --> 00:07:49,345
Uh, actually, I think that's
somewhere in the Middle East.
166
00:07:49,429 --> 00:07:52,637
Yeah, if you're talking
about patriarchal society.
167
00:07:52,721 --> 00:07:55,304
I'm talking about
matriarchal society.
168
00:07:55,387 --> 00:07:57,512
And you think that started here?
169
00:07:57,596 --> 00:07:59,554
Not right here.
170
00:07:59,637 --> 00:08:01,804
About 150 miles east,
in Joshua Tree.
171
00:08:01,887 --> 00:08:03,637
Sierra?
172
00:08:03,721 --> 00:08:07,095
You know nothing you're saying
is true, right?
173
00:08:10,012 --> 00:08:11,304
Such a cynic.
174
00:08:11,387 --> 00:08:12,928
[chuckles]
175
00:08:14,304 --> 00:08:15,512
I win.
176
00:08:15,596 --> 00:08:16,762
Oh, wait.
177
00:08:16,846 --> 00:08:18,345
No, I don't.
178
00:08:18,429 --> 00:08:19,721
You know, I wouldn't
have figured you
179
00:08:19,804 --> 00:08:21,178
for a solitaire type of girl.
180
00:08:21,262 --> 00:08:23,928
My mom taught me
when I was a kid
181
00:08:24,012 --> 00:08:26,928
so that I could keep myself
entertained when she was on set.
182
00:08:27,012 --> 00:08:29,637
I didn't really have
many friends my own age.
183
00:08:29,721 --> 00:08:31,429
That's why I'm such an old soul.
184
00:08:33,637 --> 00:08:35,262
No, you're not an old anything.
185
00:08:36,470 --> 00:08:38,928
Helen, I'm gonna
be 30 next year.
186
00:08:39,012 --> 00:08:40,387
Wow.
187
00:08:40,470 --> 00:08:43,095
No, you don't understand.
188
00:08:43,178 --> 00:08:46,970
Thirty is almost, like,
50 in actor years.
189
00:08:47,053 --> 00:08:49,596
Well, I'm almost, like,
50 in people years.
190
00:08:49,679 --> 00:08:51,387
Yeah, but you're still
really fuckable.
191
00:08:51,470 --> 00:08:53,220
I'm never gonna be
that fuckable
192
00:08:53,304 --> 00:08:55,262
when I'm your age.
193
00:08:55,345 --> 00:08:57,262
What time is it?
194
00:08:57,345 --> 00:08:58,804
I don't know.
195
00:08:58,887 --> 00:09:00,387
Alexa, what time is it?
196
00:09:00,470 --> 00:09:02,429
[Alexa]
The time is 11:04 a.m.
197
00:09:02,512 --> 00:09:05,012
Oh, shit.
I gotta get an Uber.
198
00:09:05,095 --> 00:09:06,554
Where you going?
199
00:09:06,637 --> 00:09:08,095
To Joshua Tree.
200
00:09:08,178 --> 00:09:10,178
To my women's moon circle.
201
00:09:10,262 --> 00:09:11,596
I invited you, remember?
202
00:09:11,679 --> 00:09:13,053
You kind of spat in my face.
203
00:09:14,429 --> 00:09:15,762
Yeah, I'm sorry about that.
204
00:09:15,846 --> 00:09:17,304
It's fine.
205
00:09:17,387 --> 00:09:19,846
It's too bad, though.
206
00:09:19,928 --> 00:09:21,596
I mean, I just had
this intuition
207
00:09:21,679 --> 00:09:24,012
that you really needed
some guidance, but...
208
00:09:24,095 --> 00:09:26,095
[cell phone buzzes]
209
00:09:29,387 --> 00:09:30,679
[clicks tongue, sighs]
210
00:09:39,512 --> 00:09:41,512
What is a moon circle, exactly?
211
00:09:42,928 --> 00:09:44,804
New moons represent beginnings.
212
00:09:44,887 --> 00:09:48,887
It's a time for planting seeds
and setting intentions,
213
00:09:48,970 --> 00:09:52,887
and then committing to behaviors
to help us manifest them.
214
00:09:52,970 --> 00:09:55,512
And I'm really looking
forward to this one,
215
00:09:55,596 --> 00:09:56,928
because Gaelle
is going to be there.
216
00:09:57,012 --> 00:09:58,262
Who's Gaelle?
217
00:09:58,345 --> 00:10:00,053
She's my guru.
218
00:10:00,137 --> 00:10:01,679
She's a healer.
219
00:10:01,762 --> 00:10:03,470
She's a true gift.
220
00:10:03,554 --> 00:10:05,596
I mean, my work with her
has been so transformative,
221
00:10:05,679 --> 00:10:07,053
I don't even see
my therapist anymore.
222
00:10:12,304 --> 00:10:14,220
Fuck it.
223
00:10:16,220 --> 00:10:17,721
I'll go.
224
00:10:17,804 --> 00:10:20,721
-For real?
-For real.
225
00:10:21,804 --> 00:10:23,012
Oh, my God. Awesome.
226
00:10:24,846 --> 00:10:27,928
[Sierra] You sure Vik
won't mind us borrowing his car?
227
00:10:28,012 --> 00:10:31,721
Um, he might, but I don't
particularly care at the moment.
228
00:10:33,512 --> 00:10:35,721
What kind of music
do you like?
229
00:10:35,804 --> 00:10:38,512
Oh, I think probably nothing
that you would like.
230
00:10:38,596 --> 00:10:40,345
Try me.
231
00:10:40,429 --> 00:10:42,137
Uh, I don't know.
232
00:10:42,220 --> 00:10:43,178
I like rock music.
233
00:10:43,262 --> 00:10:44,762
I like some folk music.
234
00:10:44,846 --> 00:10:45,846
Patti Smith?
235
00:10:45,928 --> 00:10:48,220
Uh, sure.
236
00:10:48,304 --> 00:10:50,970
She's my favorite
when I'm super depressed.
237
00:10:51,053 --> 00:10:52,512
Probably listened
to this album
238
00:10:52,596 --> 00:10:54,970
like 500 times
in the past week.
239
00:10:55,053 --> 00:10:57,679
-Why were you super depressed?
-Um...
240
00:10:57,762 --> 00:10:59,970
[Patti Smith's
"Peaceable Kingdom" plays]
241
00:11:00,053 --> 00:11:03,304
I fucked a married man.
242
00:11:03,387 --> 00:11:06,512
I'm really annoyed
with myself
243
00:11:06,596 --> 00:11:09,928
because I've done it before,
and it never ends well for me.
244
00:11:10,012 --> 00:11:12,304
I see.
245
00:11:12,387 --> 00:11:13,970
And I even know his wife,
246
00:11:14,053 --> 00:11:16,262
and I...
247
00:11:16,345 --> 00:11:19,387
I really like his wife, so...
248
00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:21,095
it was a stupid thing to do.
249
00:11:21,178 --> 00:11:22,970
Why did you do it?
250
00:11:23,053 --> 00:11:24,928
My mom broke up
like two marriages,
251
00:11:25,012 --> 00:11:28,470
so I guess I just always thought
that's how you vet a man,
252
00:11:28,554 --> 00:11:30,596
like how you know
if he's stable or not.
253
00:11:30,679 --> 00:11:33,137
You mean, if he's married
to someone else?
254
00:11:33,220 --> 00:11:34,345
Yeah, like,
255
00:11:34,429 --> 00:11:35,596
that's how
you can tell
256
00:11:35,679 --> 00:11:36,846
if he's serious
about commitment.
257
00:11:36,928 --> 00:11:39,012
That's what my mom
always said.
258
00:11:39,095 --> 00:11:40,304
You're gonna think
I'm full of it,
259
00:11:40,387 --> 00:11:42,721
but I wish I had your life.
260
00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:45,178
Oh.
261
00:11:45,262 --> 00:11:46,679
No, you don't.
262
00:11:46,762 --> 00:11:48,345
No, I'm serious.
263
00:11:48,429 --> 00:11:50,345
I would so much rather be you.
264
00:11:50,429 --> 00:11:52,928
I mean,
look at my life.
265
00:11:53,012 --> 00:11:54,596
Yeah?
266
00:11:54,679 --> 00:11:57,178
Literally, the only
currency that I have
267
00:11:57,262 --> 00:11:59,804
is my youth
268
00:11:59,887 --> 00:12:02,512
or my sex or whatever.
269
00:12:04,012 --> 00:12:06,345
But you...
270
00:12:06,429 --> 00:12:08,387
you, like, have it all.
271
00:12:08,470 --> 00:12:10,679
-[Helen chuckles]
-No, you're...
272
00:12:12,596 --> 00:12:15,470
You're, like,
this smart, beautiful,
273
00:12:15,554 --> 00:12:17,053
sophisticated woman.
274
00:12:17,137 --> 00:12:18,429
You've made all
the right choices.
275
00:12:18,512 --> 00:12:20,470
You have...
276
00:12:20,554 --> 00:12:21,512
I mean,
you don't have men
277
00:12:21,596 --> 00:12:23,220
chewing you up
and spitting you out.
278
00:12:23,304 --> 00:12:26,804
You have a family
and Vik and...
279
00:12:26,887 --> 00:12:29,887
I mean, you have a whole world
that needs you.
280
00:12:29,970 --> 00:12:33,220
Like, literally
couldn't live without you.
281
00:12:33,304 --> 00:12:35,095
How do I get that?
282
00:12:38,928 --> 00:12:42,012
♪ To build it back again ♪
283
00:12:44,387 --> 00:12:48,721
♪ Build the peaceable kingdom ♪
284
00:12:50,596 --> 00:12:51,679
See?
285
00:12:51,762 --> 00:12:53,304
♪ Back again ♪
286
00:12:53,387 --> 00:12:55,012
Told you.
287
00:12:55,095 --> 00:12:56,178
Pretty great, right?
288
00:12:56,262 --> 00:12:58,970
♪ Build it back again ♪
289
00:12:59,053 --> 00:13:00,721
Come on.
290
00:13:03,137 --> 00:13:06,304
We're gonna miss the
Blessing of the Eagle Feather.
291
00:13:08,679 --> 00:13:10,387
♪ rhythmic, tribal music ♪
292
00:13:10,470 --> 00:13:12,220
♪ ♪ ♪
293
00:13:12,304 --> 00:13:17,137
I want you all to take
a big, deep breath.
294
00:13:17,220 --> 00:13:22,095
We've made it to the new moon
in tropical Libra.
295
00:13:22,178 --> 00:13:24,053
We call upon this new moon,
our cosmic mother...
296
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:25,554
[whispers]
That's Gaelle?
297
00:13:25,637 --> 00:13:26,429
Yeah. Isn't she
wonderful?
298
00:13:26,512 --> 00:13:27,887
You said she was a guru.
299
00:13:27,970 --> 00:13:29,846
-[Sierra] She is.
-[Gaelle] Join us...
300
00:13:29,928 --> 00:13:31,178
She's a teenager.
301
00:13:31,262 --> 00:13:32,304
Well, she was
an Incan princess
302
00:13:32,387 --> 00:13:33,928
in a past life.
303
00:13:34,012 --> 00:13:35,928
[Gaelle] Help us uncover
our first selves...
304
00:13:36,012 --> 00:13:39,137
I don't care if you don't
believe me. It's true.
305
00:13:39,220 --> 00:13:41,345
[Gaelle]
We call upon fire...
306
00:13:41,429 --> 00:13:43,928
[Helen] Is she even allowed
to wear that thing?
307
00:13:44,012 --> 00:13:45,637
-What do you mean?
-I mean,
308
00:13:45,721 --> 00:13:46,637
it's kind of
politically incorrect.
309
00:13:46,721 --> 00:13:48,512
-Shh.
-I mean, how many birds
310
00:13:48,596 --> 00:13:50,470
-had to die to make--
-Okay, Helen. Shh.
311
00:13:50,554 --> 00:13:54,512
Let its great power
transmute our negative,
312
00:13:54,596 --> 00:13:56,470
lower energies.
313
00:13:56,554 --> 00:13:58,095
-[Helen coughing]
-And help us
314
00:13:58,178 --> 00:13:59,846
move forward into positivity
315
00:13:59,928 --> 00:14:00,887
and light.
316
00:14:02,554 --> 00:14:04,970
[continues coughing]
317
00:14:05,053 --> 00:14:07,554
For people whose chakras
are particularly blocked,
318
00:14:07,637 --> 00:14:09,596
the sage is very powerful.
319
00:14:09,679 --> 00:14:11,470
I'm allergic to sage.
[sniffs]
320
00:14:11,554 --> 00:14:13,721
It's...
[clears throat]
321
00:14:13,804 --> 00:14:16,178
It's Helen, right?
322
00:14:16,262 --> 00:14:17,928
-Mm-hmm.
-You're lucky the universe
323
00:14:18,012 --> 00:14:20,596
chose to partner you
with Sierra here.
324
00:14:20,679 --> 00:14:22,345
I've rarely met a sister
325
00:14:22,429 --> 00:14:24,887
whose sacral chakra
is more aligned.
326
00:14:31,429 --> 00:14:33,554
[Helen coughs]
327
00:14:52,928 --> 00:14:54,387
[woman]
Get a yurt!
328
00:14:54,470 --> 00:14:55,470
[light laughter]
329
00:15:02,429 --> 00:15:04,554
Thank you for holding space.
330
00:15:04,637 --> 00:15:08,304
Thank you for receiving light.
331
00:15:22,262 --> 00:15:24,220
[Sierra]
Oh, my God, I hate
332
00:15:24,304 --> 00:15:26,304
having to wear clothes
all the time. Don't you?
333
00:15:28,554 --> 00:15:30,970
That's what I love
about being out here.
334
00:15:31,053 --> 00:15:32,679
There's not
a man in sight.
335
00:15:32,762 --> 00:15:35,053
It's so liberating.
336
00:15:36,095 --> 00:15:37,387
-[Helen] Uh...
-[Sierra sighs]
337
00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:39,053
So, what's the, um...
338
00:15:39,137 --> 00:15:40,846
What's on the, uh...
339
00:15:40,928 --> 00:15:43,012
What are we doing tonight?
340
00:15:43,095 --> 00:15:45,095
Well, I don't know exactly.
341
00:15:45,178 --> 00:15:47,846
Um, with Gaelle,
anything could happen,
342
00:15:47,928 --> 00:15:50,887
but we usually have a banquet,
343
00:15:50,970 --> 00:15:52,429
and then we do the moon circle.
344
00:15:52,512 --> 00:15:53,512
Cool.
345
00:15:54,637 --> 00:15:57,387
Ooh. This...
346
00:15:57,470 --> 00:16:00,470
is for you to wear to dinner.
347
00:16:00,554 --> 00:16:02,970
Oh, uh, do I have to?
348
00:16:04,095 --> 00:16:05,846
Well, no, you don't have to,
349
00:16:05,928 --> 00:16:07,970
but I don't know
how you expect to have
350
00:16:08,053 --> 00:16:09,679
a transformative experience
351
00:16:09,762 --> 00:16:11,804
if you don't at least try
to participate.
352
00:16:11,928 --> 00:16:14,262
[gong crashing]
353
00:16:14,345 --> 00:16:15,512
What is that?
354
00:16:15,596 --> 00:16:17,470
That's the dinner gong.
355
00:16:17,554 --> 00:16:19,679
Gaelle loves that thing.
356
00:16:19,762 --> 00:16:21,846
So, um...
357
00:16:21,928 --> 00:16:25,846
what's up with the make-out sesh
with you and Gaelle?
358
00:16:25,928 --> 00:16:28,429
Oh. Yeah, there's a little more
359
00:16:28,512 --> 00:16:30,637
to that story
than I initially let on.
360
00:16:30,721 --> 00:16:32,012
Is she your girlfriend?
361
00:16:32,095 --> 00:16:35,887
No. No, I mean,
she's not... not now.
362
00:16:35,970 --> 00:16:38,470
She was, briefly,
for like a second.
363
00:16:38,554 --> 00:16:40,304
So you're bi?
364
00:16:40,387 --> 00:16:42,429
I don't like labels.
365
00:16:42,512 --> 00:16:44,262
Well, no, of course you don't.
366
00:16:46,970 --> 00:16:49,596
Um, I should call Vik
and tell him
367
00:16:49,679 --> 00:16:51,262
I'm not going to be home.
368
00:16:51,345 --> 00:16:53,053
How is Vik?
369
00:16:53,137 --> 00:16:54,970
He's fine.
370
00:16:55,053 --> 00:16:56,679
I just... I-I saw him
the other day,
371
00:16:56,762 --> 00:16:58,262
and he seemed a little tired.
372
00:16:58,345 --> 00:16:59,721
Well, he has a huge job, so...
373
00:17:00,887 --> 00:17:02,762
Hi. It's me.
374
00:17:02,846 --> 00:17:05,095
I'm just calling to say
that I'm not coming home.
375
00:17:05,178 --> 00:17:08,721
Um, and the kids are with Noah,
so you're on your own.
376
00:17:08,804 --> 00:17:12,262
Uh, there's some of your mom's
baingan bharta in the freezer.
377
00:17:12,345 --> 00:17:14,637
Okay. Bye.
378
00:17:14,721 --> 00:17:16,846
[gong crashes]
379
00:17:16,928 --> 00:17:18,429
Are you really not
gonna wear that?
380
00:17:18,512 --> 00:17:20,137
Because you're gonna be
the only one.
381
00:17:21,721 --> 00:17:23,178
Okay, fine.
382
00:17:23,262 --> 00:17:24,220
[short chuckle]
383
00:17:32,178 --> 00:17:35,721
So... what about you?
384
00:17:35,804 --> 00:17:38,846
Um, what about me?
385
00:17:38,928 --> 00:17:40,470
Do you only sleep with men?
386
00:17:40,554 --> 00:17:42,846
Um, mostly.
387
00:17:44,095 --> 00:17:46,137
Um, say more.
388
00:17:47,470 --> 00:17:49,345
[gong crashes]
389
00:17:51,721 --> 00:17:54,637
[Sierra] I forgot to tell you
about the pièce de résistance.
390
00:17:54,721 --> 00:17:57,304
Later tonight, we're going
to a sensory deprivation tank.
391
00:17:57,387 --> 00:17:58,679
[Helen]
A what?
392
00:17:58,762 --> 00:17:59,804
Seriously,
you don't know
393
00:17:59,887 --> 00:18:01,637
what a sensory
deprivation tank is?
394
00:18:01,721 --> 00:18:02,928
-Should I?
-Oh, my God.
395
00:18:03,012 --> 00:18:04,429
Helen, you're
gonna love it.
396
00:18:04,512 --> 00:18:06,762
The water is warmed to
your exact body temperature,
397
00:18:06,846 --> 00:18:09,387
and it's like
this big womb,
398
00:18:09,470 --> 00:18:11,762
and you just kind of float
in this mystical cocoon,
399
00:18:11,846 --> 00:18:13,721
and it's, like,
totally transformative.
400
00:18:13,804 --> 00:18:15,887
You use that word a lot.
401
00:18:15,970 --> 00:18:18,846
Yeah, I'm just
noticing that, too.
402
00:18:18,928 --> 00:18:21,262
[Gaelle] Okay, ladies,
hand over your fears
403
00:18:21,345 --> 00:18:22,721
that you wrote down.
404
00:18:24,012 --> 00:18:25,137
[Gaelle clears throat]
405
00:18:25,220 --> 00:18:27,512
Okay.
406
00:18:27,596 --> 00:18:29,887
Okay, do I have a card
from everybody?
407
00:18:35,762 --> 00:18:40,220
Now, the first step
in validating our narratives
408
00:18:40,304 --> 00:18:43,470
is owning what scares us.
409
00:18:43,554 --> 00:18:47,012
As you all know,
a new moon is an ideal time
410
00:18:47,095 --> 00:18:49,679
for clearing psychic debris
that has accumulated
411
00:18:49,762 --> 00:18:52,345
over the previous lunation.
412
00:18:52,429 --> 00:18:55,512
You have all trusted
your current blockages
413
00:18:55,596 --> 00:18:56,804
to this sisterhood.
414
00:18:56,887 --> 00:18:58,804
Now, together, we will
415
00:18:58,887 --> 00:19:00,262
dissolve them with love.
416
00:19:02,304 --> 00:19:03,429
Okay.
417
00:19:05,762 --> 00:19:07,387
[clears throat]
418
00:19:07,470 --> 00:19:08,804
[laughs]
419
00:19:08,887 --> 00:19:10,637
-I'm sorry.
-Read it!
420
00:19:10,721 --> 00:19:12,220
-[laughter]
-What does it say?
421
00:19:12,304 --> 00:19:14,429
-Read it.
-Okay, okay.
422
00:19:14,512 --> 00:19:17,095
"My boyfriend asked me
to try anal with him last week."
423
00:19:17,178 --> 00:19:18,721
-[laughter]
-And then there's a frowny face
424
00:19:18,804 --> 00:19:21,928
with X's for eyes.
425
00:19:22,012 --> 00:19:24,178
Ladies, suggestions?
426
00:19:25,928 --> 00:19:27,095
[throats clearing]
427
00:19:27,178 --> 00:19:28,178
Butt plugs.
428
00:19:28,262 --> 00:19:30,137
The glass kind.
429
00:19:30,220 --> 00:19:31,721
They're tiny.
They're not offensive.
430
00:19:31,804 --> 00:19:33,679
I mean, at first, I was like,
"Absolutely not.
431
00:19:33,762 --> 00:19:35,178
No way. Not happening."
432
00:19:35,262 --> 00:19:37,679
But they are
a gateway drug to anal.
433
00:19:37,762 --> 00:19:40,053
What if I don't want
a gateway drug to anal?
434
00:19:40,137 --> 00:19:41,470
Oh, you do.
435
00:19:41,554 --> 00:19:43,095
You should listen to the lady.
436
00:19:43,178 --> 00:19:44,637
[laughter]
437
00:19:44,721 --> 00:19:46,178
[Gaelle]
Okay.
438
00:19:46,262 --> 00:19:47,679
[Gaelle clears throat]
439
00:19:47,762 --> 00:19:50,095
Next, let's see.
440
00:19:50,178 --> 00:19:51,762
"I am afraid having children
441
00:19:51,846 --> 00:19:54,679
is going to steal
my creative spirit.
442
00:19:54,762 --> 00:19:57,053
I still have so much
I want to accomplish.
443
00:19:57,137 --> 00:19:58,721
What if I wake up
an old woman
444
00:19:58,804 --> 00:20:01,137
and realize I gave up
all my energy
445
00:20:01,220 --> 00:20:02,928
to my children?"
446
00:20:03,012 --> 00:20:05,512
Fuck.
447
00:20:05,596 --> 00:20:07,721
That...
448
00:20:07,804 --> 00:20:09,387
Anyone?
449
00:20:11,387 --> 00:20:12,596
Okay.
450
00:20:12,679 --> 00:20:14,679
Guys, clearly that's mine.
451
00:20:14,762 --> 00:20:16,762
Um...
452
00:20:16,846 --> 00:20:19,637
I'm, like, freaking out.
453
00:20:19,721 --> 00:20:21,887
Like, seriously, like,
I don't even know...
454
00:20:21,970 --> 00:20:23,846
I'm not prepared for this.
455
00:20:23,928 --> 00:20:26,012
Like, what if this
ruins my life?
456
00:20:26,095 --> 00:20:29,596
[crying] Like, I really fucking
like my life, you know?
457
00:20:31,429 --> 00:20:32,970
[Gaelle] The answer
already exists
458
00:20:33,053 --> 00:20:34,429
in you, Cass.
459
00:20:37,178 --> 00:20:40,137
It will come if you
let yourself surrender.
460
00:20:40,220 --> 00:20:42,345
I am surrendering.
461
00:20:43,679 --> 00:20:45,053
Surrender more.
462
00:20:45,137 --> 00:20:46,887
[Cass]
Okay, Gaelle,
463
00:20:46,970 --> 00:20:49,554
with all due respect,
you have never been pregnant,
464
00:20:49,637 --> 00:20:52,137
and you have no fucking clue
what this feels like.
465
00:20:52,220 --> 00:20:53,970
-Calm down, Cass!
-Guys, don't fight.
466
00:20:54,053 --> 00:20:55,178
I know what it feels like.
467
00:20:56,846 --> 00:20:58,721
I have four kids.
468
00:20:58,804 --> 00:21:00,095
-Whoa.
-Geez.
469
00:21:00,178 --> 00:21:01,637
[laughter]
470
00:21:01,721 --> 00:21:03,512
And I do... I remember
being terrified
471
00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:05,220
before my first daughter
was born.
472
00:21:05,304 --> 00:21:07,220
My husband said I was acting
like a caged animal.
473
00:21:07,304 --> 00:21:10,304
Yes, that's exactly how I feel.
474
00:21:12,804 --> 00:21:14,512
What do you do?
475
00:21:14,596 --> 00:21:16,846
I'm a designer.
I make furniture.
476
00:21:16,928 --> 00:21:19,762
Ah. I love design.
477
00:21:19,846 --> 00:21:21,596
I used to have a shop.
478
00:21:21,679 --> 00:21:22,887
Where?
479
00:21:22,970 --> 00:21:24,637
In Brooklyn.
480
00:21:26,304 --> 00:21:28,928
-It was a great shop.
-Mmm.
481
00:21:29,012 --> 00:21:31,387
But, you know, um,
I can say this.
482
00:21:31,470 --> 00:21:34,554
Your life is about
to completely change.
483
00:21:34,637 --> 00:21:35,554
-Fuck.
-No, but not
484
00:21:35,637 --> 00:21:36,596
in the way you think.
485
00:21:36,679 --> 00:21:38,762
It-it doesn't get smaller.
486
00:21:38,846 --> 00:21:41,053
It gets larger.
487
00:21:41,137 --> 00:21:43,178
[Cass] How?
488
00:21:43,262 --> 00:21:47,470
Okay, when... right after I had
my first daughter, Whitney,
489
00:21:47,554 --> 00:21:50,721
I had this moment,
and I remember it very clearly.
490
00:21:50,804 --> 00:21:52,095
I was looking
491
00:21:52,178 --> 00:21:54,220
at her little face,
and, um,
492
00:21:54,304 --> 00:21:57,762
it suddenly occurred to me
that she was going to...
493
00:21:57,846 --> 00:22:00,012
outlive me.
494
00:22:00,095 --> 00:22:02,345
Her life was going
to extend beyond mine,
495
00:22:02,429 --> 00:22:05,470
and I was finite.
496
00:22:05,554 --> 00:22:08,679
You know, really just dust
in the fucking wind.
497
00:22:08,762 --> 00:22:11,596
And so...
498
00:22:11,679 --> 00:22:14,554
I just said to myself,
"Okay, then, if that's true,
499
00:22:14,637 --> 00:22:18,304
what am I going to do
with my one
500
00:22:18,387 --> 00:22:20,387
wild and precious life?"
501
00:22:22,095 --> 00:22:23,387
Mary Oliver.
502
00:22:25,679 --> 00:22:28,220
You guys don't know
Mary Oliver?
503
00:22:28,304 --> 00:22:29,846
Okay, but what
was the answer?
504
00:22:29,928 --> 00:22:31,262
Like, what did you do?
505
00:22:31,345 --> 00:22:32,846
Well, I had
more children.
506
00:22:32,928 --> 00:22:34,262
-Oh, that's nice.
-[laughter]
507
00:22:34,345 --> 00:22:35,804
But I love being a mother.
508
00:22:35,887 --> 00:22:37,178
And not everybody does,
and that's okay.
509
00:22:37,262 --> 00:22:38,846
I mean, you don't have to give
510
00:22:38,928 --> 00:22:40,554
everything over
to this little person.
511
00:22:40,637 --> 00:22:42,804
You just have to make
some room for her. Or him.
512
00:22:42,887 --> 00:22:43,762
It's a girl.
513
00:22:47,304 --> 00:22:49,012
The heart actually does expand.
514
00:22:49,095 --> 00:22:51,804
I-I have no idea how it does it,
515
00:22:51,887 --> 00:22:54,137
but it seems to always be able
to make room for children.
516
00:22:56,387 --> 00:22:58,596
Helen...
517
00:22:58,679 --> 00:23:02,053
I'm passing my guru baton
to you this evening.
518
00:23:02,137 --> 00:23:03,596
-Oh, please don't.
-[laughter]
519
00:23:03,679 --> 00:23:04,846
I...
520
00:23:04,928 --> 00:23:06,887
I have to.
521
00:23:06,970 --> 00:23:08,762
Tonight belongs to you.
522
00:23:08,887 --> 00:23:10,345
[applause]
523
00:23:15,387 --> 00:23:16,470
What happens if
my husband loves a baby
524
00:23:16,554 --> 00:23:18,470
-more than he loves me?
-Well, he won't.
525
00:23:18,554 --> 00:23:20,095
And my boyfriend
wants to get pregnant.
526
00:23:20,178 --> 00:23:22,387
I'm not so sure
about him,
527
00:23:22,470 --> 00:23:24,637
but I want to really have a kid,
so should I just do it?
528
00:23:24,721 --> 00:23:25,721
-No.
-[others] No.
529
00:23:25,804 --> 00:23:27,137
Don't do that.
530
00:23:27,220 --> 00:23:29,095
Like, what if I don't
find a man in time?
531
00:23:29,178 --> 00:23:30,846
Should I just do it alone?
532
00:23:30,928 --> 00:23:32,846
You can,
but it's very hard.
533
00:23:32,928 --> 00:23:34,887
But, I mean, that's why you guys
have each other, right?
534
00:23:34,970 --> 00:23:36,304
Why you have this group?
535
00:23:37,554 --> 00:23:39,470
Look, I want to be
honest with you.
536
00:23:39,554 --> 00:23:41,679
No matter how many new moons
537
00:23:41,762 --> 00:23:44,554
or tropical Libras
you circle under,
538
00:23:44,637 --> 00:23:46,970
the only way out of this thing
is through it.
539
00:23:47,053 --> 00:23:51,429
I mean, and you can talk to
astrologers or gurus or shamans,
540
00:23:51,512 --> 00:23:53,429
but the only thing
that really works
541
00:23:53,512 --> 00:23:55,679
is living and making choices
and making mistakes,
542
00:23:55,762 --> 00:23:57,095
and then eventually,
543
00:23:57,178 --> 00:23:59,596
you get old enough...
544
00:23:59,679 --> 00:24:02,053
and you start
to figure shit out.
545
00:24:07,262 --> 00:24:10,679
I thought we were going
to a sensory derivation bank.
546
00:24:10,762 --> 00:24:13,721
A sensory deprivation tank?
547
00:24:16,554 --> 00:24:18,095
What did I say?
548
00:24:18,178 --> 00:24:21,053
I think maybe we should
take that away from you.
549
00:24:21,137 --> 00:24:22,470
Actually, be careful,
550
00:24:22,554 --> 00:24:24,470
'cause sometimes
Gaelle's stuff is laced.
551
00:24:27,887 --> 00:24:29,387
Oh, well.
552
00:24:32,387 --> 00:24:35,137
[takes a deep breath]
553
00:24:35,220 --> 00:24:39,846
So, what was your fear
that you wrote on the card?
554
00:24:39,928 --> 00:24:44,178
Um, I couldn't think of one.
555
00:24:46,637 --> 00:24:48,679
Your life is so perfect
that you don't have any fears?
556
00:24:48,762 --> 00:24:50,220
[laughs]
557
00:24:50,304 --> 00:24:52,512
My life is a total
fucking wreck.
558
00:24:58,387 --> 00:25:00,928
I thought I was pregnant
this morning.
559
00:25:01,012 --> 00:25:02,804
Oh, my God. Are you?
560
00:25:02,887 --> 00:25:05,137
No. I'm in menopause.
561
00:25:05,220 --> 00:25:06,762
Oh.
562
00:25:08,053 --> 00:25:09,637
That's a bummer.
563
00:25:09,721 --> 00:25:10,679
Is it?
564
00:25:12,178 --> 00:25:14,012
I don't know. Is it?
565
00:25:14,095 --> 00:25:16,137
I mean, do you want more kids?
566
00:25:16,220 --> 00:25:17,637
You know...
567
00:25:19,178 --> 00:25:21,095
I have four children.
568
00:25:22,887 --> 00:25:25,178
I don't actually want
another baby.
569
00:25:25,262 --> 00:25:28,470
I just... you know,
but Vik wanted it.
570
00:25:28,554 --> 00:25:33,262
And I thought that I
should give that to him.
571
00:25:33,345 --> 00:25:35,928
But this whole day,
I've been thinking about it,
572
00:25:36,012 --> 00:25:39,470
and I've been wondering,
how many of my children
573
00:25:39,554 --> 00:25:41,304
did I want?
574
00:25:43,178 --> 00:25:47,887
Was it for me,
or was it for Noah?
575
00:25:47,970 --> 00:25:48,887
Who's Noah?
576
00:25:48,970 --> 00:25:50,721
My first husband.
577
00:25:52,429 --> 00:25:54,304
I mean, all my life,
578
00:25:54,387 --> 00:25:56,220
I've been feeling...
I don't know how to say this.
579
00:25:56,304 --> 00:25:58,387
I've been feeling needed.
580
00:25:58,470 --> 00:26:01,304
By men, by my children.
581
00:26:01,387 --> 00:26:03,928
You know, I remember when Noah
and I first got together,
582
00:26:04,012 --> 00:26:06,387
his mother had just died,
and-and-and...
583
00:26:06,470 --> 00:26:08,721
I remember how much
he wanted me,
584
00:26:08,804 --> 00:26:12,721
in this kind of really
desperate sort of way.
585
00:26:12,804 --> 00:26:14,596
And he would just, like,
climb into bed with me
586
00:26:14,679 --> 00:26:16,304
and need to fuck me,
587
00:26:16,387 --> 00:26:19,637
to feel, um, connected
588
00:26:19,721 --> 00:26:22,178
or, uh, safe
589
00:26:22,262 --> 00:26:24,178
or cared for.
590
00:26:24,262 --> 00:26:25,928
I don't know, and I-I was...
591
00:26:26,012 --> 00:26:30,178
I was happy to give that
to him when I was young,
592
00:26:30,262 --> 00:26:32,679
because I thought that that's
what I was supposed to do.
593
00:26:37,554 --> 00:26:41,470
And then my children came along,
and they're just all need.
594
00:26:41,554 --> 00:26:43,512
You know, they're like
little, tiny,
595
00:26:43,596 --> 00:26:47,345
little, walking balls of need.
596
00:26:47,429 --> 00:26:51,804
And men... men don't understand.
597
00:26:51,887 --> 00:26:54,887
I mean, they have
this notion of...
598
00:26:54,970 --> 00:26:58,554
of-of what bringing a child
into their lives would mean,
599
00:26:58,637 --> 00:27:02,095
but... but-but they only do
a fraction of the work,
600
00:27:02,178 --> 00:27:05,596
and the rest is, like, up to us.
601
00:27:05,679 --> 00:27:09,053
I think I'm...
602
00:27:09,137 --> 00:27:12,304
I think I'm relieved
to finally be in menopause,
603
00:27:12,387 --> 00:27:15,220
because I will never...
604
00:27:15,304 --> 00:27:18,137
have to make a decision
like that again.
605
00:27:18,220 --> 00:27:22,095
You mean whether or not
to give a man what he wants?
606
00:27:25,846 --> 00:27:27,762
Yes.
607
00:27:31,178 --> 00:27:32,928
Yeah. Fuck.
608
00:27:33,012 --> 00:27:34,178
Yeah.
609
00:27:34,262 --> 00:27:36,220
I think maybe
that's it.
610
00:27:37,804 --> 00:27:39,429
[chuckles]
611
00:27:41,178 --> 00:27:42,721
You know why...
612
00:27:42,804 --> 00:27:45,387
You know why I like
having sex with women?
613
00:27:45,470 --> 00:27:47,970
No. Why?
614
00:27:48,053 --> 00:27:52,178
Because I find that sex
with women is just...
615
00:27:52,262 --> 00:27:54,345
so much more intimate.
616
00:27:54,429 --> 00:27:56,178
You know?
617
00:27:56,262 --> 00:27:58,387
Because I can relate
to their struggles,
618
00:27:58,470 --> 00:27:59,846
because they're my struggles.
619
00:28:01,429 --> 00:28:05,470
And so, when I see
a woman there naked
620
00:28:05,554 --> 00:28:10,220
and confident
and hungry for orgasm,
621
00:28:10,304 --> 00:28:13,095
it's like this
primal admiration.
622
00:28:15,220 --> 00:28:16,887
It's very sexy.
623
00:28:18,220 --> 00:28:20,470
And also,
624
00:28:20,554 --> 00:28:23,178
usually with women...
[clears throat]
625
00:28:23,262 --> 00:28:26,804
I feel like I have
a lot more control.
626
00:28:28,970 --> 00:28:30,804
And, um...
627
00:28:30,887 --> 00:28:33,804
I don't know,
control is really hot.
628
00:28:38,262 --> 00:28:41,804
♪ "Peaceable Kingdom"
by Patti Smith ♪
629
00:28:51,970 --> 00:28:56,887
♪ Yesterday I saw you
standing there ♪
630
00:28:56,970 --> 00:29:01,178
♪ With your hand
against the pane ♪
631
00:29:03,262 --> 00:29:07,679
♪ Looking out the window ♪
632
00:29:09,387 --> 00:29:11,721
♪ At the rain ♪
633
00:29:11,804 --> 00:29:14,846
[both moaning softly]
634
00:29:14,928 --> 00:29:19,679
♪ Maybe one day
we'll be strong enough ♪
635
00:29:20,887 --> 00:29:25,846
♪ To build it back again ♪
636
00:29:25,928 --> 00:29:30,887
♪ Build the peaceable kingdom ♪
637
00:29:32,220 --> 00:29:36,970
♪ Build it back again ♪
638
00:29:44,178 --> 00:29:46,679
[both chuckle]
639
00:29:48,345 --> 00:29:50,554
Listen, can I give you
some advice?
640
00:29:51,637 --> 00:29:53,928
Yeah, okay.
641
00:29:54,012 --> 00:29:56,637
Um...
642
00:29:56,721 --> 00:29:59,262
lay off the married guys.
643
00:29:59,345 --> 00:30:01,012
Yeah, I know.
644
00:30:01,095 --> 00:30:02,887
You don't, really,
because you're not married.
645
00:30:02,970 --> 00:30:04,262
You've never been married,
so you couldn't know.
646
00:30:04,345 --> 00:30:06,345
And that's okay, but...
647
00:30:07,721 --> 00:30:10,137
When you sleep
with a married man,
648
00:30:10,220 --> 00:30:13,512
it's not just him.
649
00:30:13,596 --> 00:30:16,012
There's a whole constellation
of people behind him,
650
00:30:16,095 --> 00:30:17,804
and it takes...
651
00:30:17,887 --> 00:30:19,804
years to build trust
in a marriage.
652
00:30:19,887 --> 00:30:22,345
And when you sleep
with someone's husband,
653
00:30:22,429 --> 00:30:23,721
it's not just a moment.
654
00:30:23,804 --> 00:30:26,137
It's years of his life,
and hers,
655
00:30:26,220 --> 00:30:29,429
and the promise they made to
each other and-and their kids,
656
00:30:29,512 --> 00:30:31,596
and it's everything.
657
00:30:31,679 --> 00:30:33,762
And you're just shitting
all over it.
658
00:30:36,178 --> 00:30:37,762
Fuck.
659
00:30:42,387 --> 00:30:44,596
[dance music playing]
660
00:30:44,679 --> 00:30:46,429
[indistinct, festive chatter]
661
00:30:47,887 --> 00:30:50,304
The deprivation tank is here?
662
00:30:50,387 --> 00:30:51,970
Yeah.
663
00:30:56,345 --> 00:30:59,762
I want to have
four kids one day, too.
664
00:30:59,846 --> 00:31:01,804
♪ ♪ ♪
665
00:31:32,429 --> 00:31:34,304
♪ ♪ ♪
666
00:32:02,470 --> 00:32:04,178
-Hey.
-No.
667
00:32:05,637 --> 00:32:07,304
Sorry.
668
00:32:15,262 --> 00:32:16,846
Hey, Helen.
669
00:32:16,928 --> 00:32:17,887
There you are.
670
00:32:17,970 --> 00:32:19,304
Oh, my God, I found it.
671
00:32:19,387 --> 00:32:20,387
I found the tank.
672
00:32:20,470 --> 00:32:22,053
Come on. Let's go.
673
00:32:36,262 --> 00:32:38,220
♪ quiet, ambient music ♪
674
00:32:38,304 --> 00:32:40,053
♪ ♪ ♪
675
00:33:01,928 --> 00:33:03,928
♪ ♪ ♪
676
00:33:20,178 --> 00:33:21,262
[spits]
677
00:33:24,721 --> 00:33:25,762
[taps lid]
678
00:33:32,554 --> 00:33:34,970
[beating lid]
679
00:33:40,554 --> 00:33:42,554
[gasping]
680
00:33:45,137 --> 00:33:45,970
[gasps]
681
00:33:51,429 --> 00:33:53,262
[Sierra]
Helen.
682
00:33:53,345 --> 00:33:54,512
Helen, wait.
683
00:33:54,596 --> 00:33:56,721
Where are you going?
684
00:33:56,804 --> 00:33:58,721
♪ tense, atmospheric music ♪
685
00:33:58,804 --> 00:34:01,137
♪ ♪ ♪
686
00:34:15,554 --> 00:34:18,012
Helen.
687
00:34:18,095 --> 00:34:19,554
What are you doing here?
I-I thought you were
688
00:34:19,637 --> 00:34:20,970
in the desert tonight.
689
00:34:25,970 --> 00:34:27,470
What's wrong?
690
00:34:27,554 --> 00:34:28,679
Come here.
691
00:34:32,387 --> 00:34:33,554
What is it?
692
00:34:33,637 --> 00:34:35,429
I don't want you to die.
693
00:34:38,846 --> 00:34:40,637
I don't want to die, either.
694
00:34:44,887 --> 00:34:46,846
♪ quiet, ambient music ♪
695
00:34:46,928 --> 00:34:48,970
♪ ♪ ♪
696
00:34:54,596 --> 00:34:57,095
[crying]
697
00:35:01,596 --> 00:35:03,429
Don't die.
698
00:35:03,512 --> 00:35:05,387
Please don't die.
699
00:35:08,928 --> 00:35:10,470
-I won't.
-Promise me.
700
00:35:10,554 --> 00:35:11,512
I promise.
701
00:35:15,429 --> 00:35:17,137
I promise.
702
00:35:43,512 --> 00:35:45,721
[shuddering breaths]
703
00:36:05,012 --> 00:36:06,846
-[Noah] Trevor, straighten up.
-[Trevor] I am.
704
00:36:06,928 --> 00:36:08,220
-[tires squealing]
-[Noah] No, you're not!
705
00:36:08,304 --> 00:36:09,596
[Trevor]
Well, I'm trying.
706
00:36:09,679 --> 00:36:10,804
[Noah]
Holy shit, stop!
707
00:36:10,887 --> 00:36:12,095
Brake! Brake!
708
00:36:13,679 --> 00:36:15,762
[both panting]
709
00:36:15,846 --> 00:36:17,596
This sucks.
710
00:36:19,304 --> 00:36:21,262
Come on. I thought
you'd enjoy this.
711
00:36:21,345 --> 00:36:22,345
Why?
712
00:36:22,429 --> 00:36:23,637
Well, your first
driving lesson.
713
00:36:23,721 --> 00:36:24,721
I don't know.
714
00:36:24,804 --> 00:36:26,262
This isn't my first.
715
00:36:26,345 --> 00:36:28,095
Vik lets me back Mom's car
716
00:36:28,178 --> 00:36:29,470
out of the driveway
sometimes.
717
00:36:29,554 --> 00:36:31,345
Yeah, I know, but, you know,
718
00:36:31,429 --> 00:36:33,596
here you're learning how
to steer and park and...
719
00:36:33,679 --> 00:36:35,470
Whatever.
720
00:36:35,554 --> 00:36:37,304
[sighs]
721
00:36:37,387 --> 00:36:40,387
Okay, buddy, why don't you
try reversing out?
722
00:36:40,470 --> 00:36:41,596
Are you giving up?
723
00:36:41,679 --> 00:36:43,429
This is pointless.
724
00:36:43,512 --> 00:36:45,846
I can't even take driver's ed
until next year.
725
00:36:45,928 --> 00:36:47,887
Vik and I were gonna
start lessons next summer.
726
00:37:08,554 --> 00:37:09,846
Hey, Trev.
727
00:37:11,637 --> 00:37:14,721
Listen, I-I wanted to talk
to you about something.
728
00:37:14,804 --> 00:37:16,095
Your friend, Brooklyn...
729
00:37:16,178 --> 00:37:17,304
What about him?
730
00:37:17,387 --> 00:37:19,679
Well, I just
wanted you to know
731
00:37:19,762 --> 00:37:23,345
that if there's... if there's
anything you wanted to...
732
00:37:23,429 --> 00:37:25,012
tell me about him or...
733
00:37:26,387 --> 00:37:28,429
-Anything at all.
-[Trevor sighs]
734
00:37:28,512 --> 00:37:31,554
Can we just get Stacey
and go back to Mom's now?
735
00:37:31,637 --> 00:37:33,178
Please.
736
00:37:35,220 --> 00:37:36,262
Of course.
737
00:37:36,345 --> 00:37:38,137
[engine starts]
738
00:37:38,220 --> 00:37:40,137
♪ quiet, ambient music ♪
739
00:37:40,220 --> 00:37:42,178
♪ ♪ ♪
740
00:37:46,095 --> 00:37:47,846
[Trevor] You better not be
heading for the Switch.
741
00:37:47,928 --> 00:37:49,387
[Stacey]
It's my day!
742
00:37:49,470 --> 00:37:51,470
[Vik] Helen!
What did you do with my razor?
743
00:37:51,554 --> 00:37:52,762
-[kids running]
-[Helen] Hey, knock it off.
744
00:37:52,846 --> 00:37:54,137
What?
745
00:37:54,220 --> 00:37:56,762
[Vik] Razor!
It doesn't have a blade.
746
00:37:56,846 --> 00:37:59,470
Well, I threw it away.
It was dull. Oh, hi.
747
00:37:59,554 --> 00:38:01,262
[Vik] It was only dull because
you shaved your legs with it!
748
00:38:01,345 --> 00:38:04,721
There's more of them
in the top, right-hand drawer.
749
00:38:04,804 --> 00:38:07,137
How was the lesson?
750
00:38:07,220 --> 00:38:09,637
-Can I talk to you?
-Yeah, sure.
751
00:38:09,721 --> 00:38:12,012
[Trevor] You'd lose your mind
if I went into your room!
752
00:38:12,095 --> 00:38:13,596
[Stacey] I didn't go
into your room!
753
00:38:13,679 --> 00:38:16,429
I swear to God,
if you guys don't stop...
754
00:38:16,512 --> 00:38:17,721
You and Vik need
to work with me.
755
00:38:17,804 --> 00:38:19,387
-Work with you?
-I am trying
756
00:38:19,470 --> 00:38:21,220
so hard.
757
00:38:21,304 --> 00:38:22,721
I've upended my life
758
00:38:22,804 --> 00:38:24,262
to follow you here
for Vik's work,
759
00:38:24,345 --> 00:38:26,137
-to be near my kids.
-Yeah, me too.
760
00:38:26,220 --> 00:38:27,470
And you guys
won't meet me halfway.
761
00:38:27,554 --> 00:38:29,470
I don't... What?
762
00:38:29,554 --> 00:38:31,262
This is supposed to be
a partnership, Helen.
763
00:38:31,345 --> 00:38:33,178
We are co-parenting,
and right now,
764
00:38:33,262 --> 00:38:35,304
I am the only one
extending myself.
765
00:38:35,387 --> 00:38:39,345
You won't encourage
the kids to call back.
766
00:38:39,429 --> 00:38:41,345
You roll over my visitation.
767
00:38:41,429 --> 00:38:44,262
Vik is incredibly competitive
with the kids.
768
00:38:44,345 --> 00:38:47,429
I mean, for fuck's sake,
Helen, they are my children.
769
00:38:47,512 --> 00:38:49,304
Not his.
770
00:38:49,387 --> 00:38:51,596
You just need to tell him
to back the fuck up.
771
00:38:51,679 --> 00:38:53,053
He's dying.
772
00:38:57,095 --> 00:38:59,762
Vik has cancer,
773
00:38:59,846 --> 00:39:03,387
and he's going
to die soon, so...
774
00:39:05,220 --> 00:39:06,637
...maybe you'll forgive us
775
00:39:06,721 --> 00:39:08,554
if we aren't
at our best right now.
776
00:39:11,137 --> 00:39:12,721
What kind of cancer?
777
00:39:12,804 --> 00:39:15,262
Does it matter?
778
00:39:16,345 --> 00:39:17,637
The kids know?
779
00:39:21,970 --> 00:39:23,721
Oh, God.
780
00:39:25,178 --> 00:39:27,512
You should have told me.
781
00:39:27,596 --> 00:39:29,512
Why would I
have told you?
782
00:39:29,596 --> 00:39:30,762
Because we're friends.
783
00:39:30,846 --> 00:39:32,637
No, we're not.
784
00:39:36,304 --> 00:39:38,095
Jesus, Helen, I...
785
00:39:38,178 --> 00:39:39,554
I'm so sorry.
786
00:39:41,470 --> 00:39:42,804
Look, i-if there's
anything you need,
787
00:39:42,887 --> 00:39:44,012
anything I can do...
788
00:39:44,095 --> 00:39:45,304
I-I can take the kids.
789
00:39:45,387 --> 00:39:47,137
You and Vik
can have some time.
790
00:39:48,470 --> 00:39:50,512
Oh, God, Helen, I...
791
00:39:53,095 --> 00:39:54,429
Sorry. I can also...
792
00:39:54,512 --> 00:39:56,095
I can just give
you guys some space.
793
00:39:56,178 --> 00:39:57,970
That would be great.
794
00:39:59,762 --> 00:40:01,637
Sure.
795
00:40:01,721 --> 00:40:03,345
Thank you.
796
00:40:22,928 --> 00:40:24,012
[Anton]
Hey.
797
00:40:24,095 --> 00:40:25,596
What the fuck?
798
00:40:25,679 --> 00:40:27,887
Sorry. Your-your door was open.
799
00:40:27,970 --> 00:40:29,846
Did I scare you?
800
00:40:31,554 --> 00:40:33,387
[sighs]
No.
801
00:40:34,387 --> 00:40:35,846
It's the hoodie, right?
802
00:40:35,928 --> 00:40:37,304
The hoodie makes me
seem threatening.
803
00:40:37,387 --> 00:40:38,387
Better?
804
00:40:38,470 --> 00:40:39,721
That's not funny.
805
00:40:39,804 --> 00:40:41,387
Yeah, it is.
806
00:40:49,012 --> 00:40:52,178
Well, now that you've
made yourself at home...
807
00:40:52,262 --> 00:40:54,220
want to tell me why you're here?
808
00:40:55,596 --> 00:40:57,470
How do you even
know where I live?
809
00:40:57,554 --> 00:40:59,887
Read through my mom's
personnel files.
810
00:40:59,970 --> 00:41:01,554
I've seen all your pay stubs.
811
00:41:03,846 --> 00:41:06,512
Well, then you should have known
not to eat all my prosciutto.
812
00:41:06,596 --> 00:41:09,178
I'm playing.
I-I White-Paged you, actually.
813
00:41:09,262 --> 00:41:11,095
It's that easy, huh?
814
00:41:11,178 --> 00:41:12,512
That's disturbing.
815
00:41:12,596 --> 00:41:14,679
Yeah, I think you
can get it blocked.
816
00:41:19,053 --> 00:41:21,053
I need your thoughts.
817
00:41:22,095 --> 00:41:24,178
Okay. What about?
818
00:41:24,262 --> 00:41:25,928
On whether or not
I should join the Marines.
819
00:41:26,012 --> 00:41:27,928
What?
820
00:41:28,012 --> 00:41:29,637
What about college?
821
00:41:29,721 --> 00:41:31,721
I need to be my own man,
Mr. Solloway.
822
00:41:31,804 --> 00:41:33,178
I-I can't keep
letting my parents
823
00:41:33,262 --> 00:41:34,804
push me around like this.
824
00:41:34,887 --> 00:41:36,762
It's not right.
825
00:41:36,846 --> 00:41:39,053
Look, I know you and my mom
826
00:41:39,137 --> 00:41:40,429
have something
going on right now.
827
00:41:42,679 --> 00:41:43,970
She can be a real bully.
828
00:41:44,053 --> 00:41:45,262
You should know that.
829
00:41:45,345 --> 00:41:47,596
Yeah, I do know that, Anton.
830
00:41:49,637 --> 00:41:52,679
I also know that she loves you
like a crazy person,
831
00:41:52,762 --> 00:41:55,012
and right now she's having
a hard time letting you go.
832
00:41:55,095 --> 00:41:56,637
And that's normal.
That's not her.
833
00:41:56,721 --> 00:41:58,262
That's just what happens
when the time comes
834
00:41:58,345 --> 00:42:00,846
for kids to
flee the nest.
835
00:42:00,928 --> 00:42:03,470
You'd really rather go to war
than go to college?
836
00:42:03,554 --> 00:42:06,262
Well, they said the chances
of me seeing combat are slim.
837
00:42:06,345 --> 00:42:07,429
Yeah, they're lying.
838
00:42:07,512 --> 00:42:08,846
This country is pretty much
839
00:42:08,928 --> 00:42:12,137
at war somewhere
all the time.
840
00:42:12,220 --> 00:42:14,970
Well, any way I go,
841
00:42:15,053 --> 00:42:17,554
one of them is going
to be disappointed.
842
00:42:20,345 --> 00:42:22,804
Look, you came here.
You want my advice, right?
843
00:42:26,053 --> 00:42:27,970
I really think
you need to see Princeton.
844
00:42:28,053 --> 00:42:29,637
Just see it. Just...
845
00:42:29,721 --> 00:42:31,596
spend some time there.
846
00:42:31,679 --> 00:42:33,970
You have this idea in your head
that it's a terrible place.
847
00:42:34,053 --> 00:42:36,012
Maybe it is,
but maybe you'd like it.
848
00:42:36,095 --> 00:42:37,596
Well, how am I supposed
to pull that off?
849
00:42:37,679 --> 00:42:39,053
It's all the way
across the country.
850
00:42:39,137 --> 00:42:40,304
Your mom will take you there.
851
00:42:40,387 --> 00:42:41,554
No, she won't.
852
00:42:41,637 --> 00:42:43,429
-How do you know?
-I just do.
853
00:42:43,512 --> 00:42:44,637
Have you asked her?
854
00:42:48,596 --> 00:42:50,429
How did you get here?
You drive?
855
00:42:50,512 --> 00:42:52,012
No, I Ubered.
I never get to drive.
856
00:42:52,095 --> 00:42:53,596
I don't have a fucking car.
857
00:42:53,679 --> 00:42:55,429
Okay. Let's go.
858
00:42:55,512 --> 00:42:56,429
Where are we going?
859
00:42:56,512 --> 00:42:57,679
To talk to your mom.
860
00:42:57,762 --> 00:42:59,053
No. I just got here.
861
00:42:59,137 --> 00:43:00,387
She'll kill me
if she finds out
862
00:43:00,470 --> 00:43:01,928
-I came to you.
-Come on.
863
00:43:02,012 --> 00:43:03,387
I'll let you drive.
864
00:43:03,470 --> 00:43:04,846
Down the PCH.
865
00:43:20,721 --> 00:43:24,928
[Janelle] Why can't you rebel
like a normal kid?
866
00:43:25,012 --> 00:43:27,345
Go to Europe for a year.
Date a white girl.
867
00:43:27,429 --> 00:43:29,928
You really want to fuck
with me and your dad?
868
00:43:30,012 --> 00:43:32,220
Do the Peace Corps in some
awful third-world place.
869
00:43:32,304 --> 00:43:34,554
Don't join the fucking Army.
870
00:43:34,637 --> 00:43:37,554
-Marines.
-Boy, I will kill you.
871
00:43:37,637 --> 00:43:39,345
Look, if I go to the Marines,
I won't be a victim.
872
00:43:39,429 --> 00:43:40,679
What are you
talking about?
873
00:43:40,762 --> 00:43:42,679
How is shooting
other brown people
874
00:43:42,762 --> 00:43:45,095
gonna give you agency?
Hear yourself.
875
00:43:45,178 --> 00:43:46,554
No, hear yourself.
876
00:43:46,637 --> 00:43:48,887
It is always about race
and agency with you.
877
00:43:48,970 --> 00:43:50,554
What nine-year-old has
878
00:43:50,637 --> 00:43:52,095
a Black Revolutionary-themed
birthday party?
879
00:43:52,178 --> 00:43:54,137
Fucking Marcus Garvey
on the chocolate cake?
880
00:43:54,220 --> 00:43:55,554
Malcolm X napkins?
881
00:43:55,637 --> 00:43:57,596
-Like, who does that?
-They make those?
882
00:43:57,679 --> 00:44:00,304
Yes. This is what I've had
to deal with my whole life.
883
00:44:00,387 --> 00:44:02,095
-To protect you.
-Look, if I have a target
884
00:44:02,178 --> 00:44:03,721
on my back,
why shouldn't I sign up?
885
00:44:03,804 --> 00:44:05,220
At least then
I'll have a gun.
886
00:44:07,721 --> 00:44:09,679
-What are you doing here?
-Your mother called.
887
00:44:09,762 --> 00:44:12,095
She didn't know where you went.
888
00:44:12,178 --> 00:44:13,928
You can't disappear without
telling her where you're going.
889
00:44:14,012 --> 00:44:15,596
You know that.
She worries.
890
00:44:15,679 --> 00:44:17,512
Why? I'm 19 years old.
891
00:44:17,596 --> 00:44:18,596
Tell him.
892
00:44:18,679 --> 00:44:20,012
Go on.
893
00:44:20,095 --> 00:44:21,345
You're such an adult.
Tell him.
894
00:44:21,429 --> 00:44:22,762
Tell him
what you did.
895
00:44:24,304 --> 00:44:26,137
I talked to a recruiter
about joining the Marines.
896
00:44:26,220 --> 00:44:27,387
You did what?
897
00:44:27,470 --> 00:44:28,846
[clears throat]
Uh...
898
00:44:28,928 --> 00:44:30,178
Hi.
899
00:44:30,262 --> 00:44:32,304
Does this motherfucker
live here now?
900
00:44:32,387 --> 00:44:34,262
Look, I-I know
it's not my place--
901
00:44:34,345 --> 00:44:35,887
Oh, you're damn right.
902
00:44:35,970 --> 00:44:37,345
But your kid came to my house
903
00:44:37,429 --> 00:44:39,178
looking for help, so...
904
00:44:39,262 --> 00:44:41,304
I thought maybe we could all
just talk about it.
905
00:44:41,387 --> 00:44:43,178
Who the fuck does
your boyfriend think he is?
906
00:44:43,262 --> 00:44:44,637
He's not my boyfriend.
907
00:44:44,721 --> 00:44:46,554
Reason he wants
to join the Marines
908
00:44:46,637 --> 00:44:48,137
is because he can't
make a decision
909
00:44:48,220 --> 00:44:50,012
about this Princeton thing
910
00:44:50,095 --> 00:44:53,387
because he is terrified
of hurting one of you.
911
00:44:53,470 --> 00:44:55,637
So, what I suggested
was that
912
00:44:55,721 --> 00:44:57,804
somebody should just
take him there.
913
00:44:57,887 --> 00:44:59,762
Let him see the school,
see if he likes it,
914
00:44:59,846 --> 00:45:01,012
make his own decision.
915
00:45:01,095 --> 00:45:02,345
Sounds reasonable to me.
916
00:45:02,429 --> 00:45:03,345
If I go, it'd have to be
917
00:45:03,429 --> 00:45:05,137
-this week.
-Why?
918
00:45:05,220 --> 00:45:07,637
Because I scheduled
to take the GED next Monday.
919
00:45:09,262 --> 00:45:11,220
Anton... in order
to take the GED,
920
00:45:11,304 --> 00:45:12,804
you have to drop out
of high school.
921
00:45:12,887 --> 00:45:15,554
I can't join the Marines
without it.
922
00:45:15,637 --> 00:45:17,345
-Oh, no.
-You have school this week.
923
00:45:17,429 --> 00:45:19,554
Hell no. You're not joining
the fucking military.
924
00:45:19,637 --> 00:45:21,053
Look, I can miss
a couple classes.
925
00:45:21,137 --> 00:45:22,762
I already took these
fucking classes anyway.
926
00:45:22,887 --> 00:45:24,429
Boy, don't talk like that
to your mother.
927
00:45:24,512 --> 00:45:25,679
Why is it,
whenever you're mad at me,
928
00:45:25,762 --> 00:45:26,970
you act like
you're still her man?
929
00:45:27,053 --> 00:45:28,053
-You want to live?
-Oh, Jesus.
930
00:45:28,137 --> 00:45:30,262
Not another word.
931
00:45:30,345 --> 00:45:31,679
Look, Carl, my friend--
932
00:45:31,762 --> 00:45:33,679
Man, why are you
all up in my family?
933
00:45:33,762 --> 00:45:35,095
You don't have your own?
934
00:45:35,178 --> 00:45:37,012
Yeah, I do.
935
00:45:37,095 --> 00:45:38,429
Then what the fuck
you doing here?
936
00:45:39,637 --> 00:45:42,053
Anton, go to your room.
937
00:45:42,137 --> 00:45:43,596
Carl, go home.
938
00:45:43,679 --> 00:45:45,762
Let's... let's just
sleep on this, okay?
939
00:45:45,846 --> 00:45:47,596
We don't have to make
any decisions tonight.
940
00:45:47,679 --> 00:45:49,012
We don't have to do anything.
941
00:45:49,095 --> 00:45:51,095
-It's my decision.
-Okay.
942
00:45:51,178 --> 00:45:53,053
[sighs] If you want
to go to the school,
943
00:45:53,137 --> 00:45:55,596
I'll take you
this week. I promise.
944
00:45:55,679 --> 00:45:56,596
Janelle, what about
the board meeting?
945
00:45:56,679 --> 00:45:58,178
This is more important.
946
00:45:58,262 --> 00:45:59,387
[Carl]
Janelle, hold up.
947
00:45:59,470 --> 00:46:00,804
We talked about
sending him
948
00:46:00,887 --> 00:46:02,887
to a state school--
public education.
949
00:46:02,970 --> 00:46:04,137
We agreed on that
950
00:46:04,220 --> 00:46:06,053
when he was a baby.
951
00:46:06,137 --> 00:46:08,262
-Things have changed, Carl.
-No, you've changed.
952
00:46:08,345 --> 00:46:10,262
-Dad, what if I want to go?
-Anton, just be quiet.
953
00:46:10,345 --> 00:46:11,637
Just because you
couldn't make it there
954
00:46:11,721 --> 00:46:12,721
doesn't mean I can't.
955
00:46:12,804 --> 00:46:13,721
[Janelle]
Carl!
956
00:46:13,804 --> 00:46:15,053
Hey.
957
00:46:15,137 --> 00:46:16,970
[both panting]
958
00:46:17,053 --> 00:46:19,137
You gonna hit me?
959
00:46:19,220 --> 00:46:20,970
Hit me.
960
00:46:21,053 --> 00:46:22,679
Go ahead.
961
00:46:24,762 --> 00:46:25,887
Carl.
962
00:46:32,095 --> 00:46:34,721
So you a man now.
963
00:46:35,804 --> 00:46:37,679
Okay, be a man.
964
00:46:40,928 --> 00:46:43,304
Go see what it's like.
965
00:46:46,220 --> 00:46:47,928
[door opens]
966
00:46:48,970 --> 00:46:49,762
[door closes]
967
00:46:53,928 --> 00:46:55,846
♪ quiet, atmospheric music ♪
968
00:46:55,928 --> 00:46:57,928
♪ ♪ ♪
969
00:47:06,345 --> 00:47:08,345
[line rings]
970
00:47:08,429 --> 00:47:10,304
Hi. It's Whitney.
Leave a message.
971
00:47:10,387 --> 00:47:12,387
-[phone beeps]
-Hey, Whit, it's Dad.
972
00:47:12,470 --> 00:47:14,137
Uh, it's super late
where you are.
973
00:47:14,220 --> 00:47:15,721
You're probably asleep,
but I just, uh...
974
00:47:15,804 --> 00:47:17,679
I was just calling to say hi.
975
00:47:17,762 --> 00:47:20,970
Mom keeps me informed
about most things, but, um...
976
00:47:21,053 --> 00:47:23,304
good to hear from you
once in a while.
977
00:47:23,387 --> 00:47:25,429
It's been a while.
978
00:47:25,512 --> 00:47:27,095
Okay. Love you.
979
00:47:27,178 --> 00:47:28,679
Call me if you can.
980
00:47:28,762 --> 00:47:30,637
If you feel like it. Bye.
981
00:47:44,637 --> 00:47:46,637
[knocking at door]
982
00:47:57,970 --> 00:48:00,637
-Hey.
-Hey.
983
00:48:02,928 --> 00:48:04,262
Can I come in?
984
00:48:04,345 --> 00:48:05,970
Of course.
985
00:48:10,887 --> 00:48:12,012
It's nice.
986
00:48:12,095 --> 00:48:13,596
Thanks.
987
00:48:13,679 --> 00:48:15,095
You renting?
988
00:48:15,178 --> 00:48:16,554
Yeah.
989
00:48:16,637 --> 00:48:17,762
Thank God.
990
00:48:17,846 --> 00:48:19,846
How did you find me?
991
00:48:19,928 --> 00:48:23,012
Um, I made Anton
tell me where you live.
992
00:48:23,095 --> 00:48:24,721
What, and you drove
all the way up here
993
00:48:24,804 --> 00:48:26,137
in the middle
of the night?
994
00:48:26,220 --> 00:48:28,762
You didn't call
or text or...?
995
00:48:28,846 --> 00:48:30,304
Should I go?
996
00:48:30,387 --> 00:48:32,012
No, no, please, no.
997
00:48:32,095 --> 00:48:34,053
Sit down.
998
00:48:34,137 --> 00:48:37,137
Can I get you anything?
I... I've got whiskey.
999
00:48:37,220 --> 00:48:40,387
You can, but let me just
say something first.
1000
00:48:40,470 --> 00:48:41,637
[sighs]
1001
00:48:41,721 --> 00:48:44,512
Thank you for what you did.
1002
00:48:44,596 --> 00:48:46,304
I didn't do anything.
1003
00:48:46,387 --> 00:48:47,804
No, you did.
1004
00:48:47,887 --> 00:48:49,512
You stood up for my son.
1005
00:48:49,596 --> 00:48:51,512
That was crazy earlier.
1006
00:48:51,596 --> 00:48:53,970
Well, we've all been there.
1007
00:48:56,887 --> 00:48:58,846
We've been, uh...
1008
00:48:58,928 --> 00:49:01,178
divorced for so long,
1009
00:49:01,262 --> 00:49:03,804
you'd think we'd be
over it by now,
1010
00:49:03,887 --> 00:49:06,262
figured out a way
to forgive each other,
1011
00:49:06,345 --> 00:49:08,345
find some peace.
1012
00:49:08,429 --> 00:49:10,554
But somehow...
1013
00:49:12,304 --> 00:49:13,970
They say time
heals all wounds,
1014
00:49:14,053 --> 00:49:15,220
but sometimes it doesn't.
1015
00:49:17,053 --> 00:49:18,679
No, it doesn't.
1016
00:49:18,762 --> 00:49:20,721
It just makes things worse.
1017
00:49:22,470 --> 00:49:24,345
Anyway, I just...
1018
00:49:26,804 --> 00:49:29,262
Of course he should have
seen the damn school.
1019
00:49:29,345 --> 00:49:31,053
I should have taken him.
1020
00:49:33,262 --> 00:49:35,012
I'm gonna take him this week.
1021
00:49:36,345 --> 00:49:37,804
What about the board meeting?
1022
00:49:37,887 --> 00:49:39,637
What about it?
1023
00:49:39,721 --> 00:49:41,887
If they fire me, they fire me.
1024
00:49:41,970 --> 00:49:44,429
[chuckles]
1025
00:49:44,512 --> 00:49:46,429
Look, what if I take him?
1026
00:49:48,137 --> 00:49:49,470
You?
1027
00:49:49,554 --> 00:49:51,262
I'm the neutral party.
1028
00:49:51,345 --> 00:49:53,679
I can take him there,
introduce him to my friend.
1029
00:49:53,762 --> 00:49:55,345
He can observe a class.
1030
00:49:55,429 --> 00:49:57,721
Then we come back,
and he can make his decision.
1031
00:49:57,804 --> 00:49:59,928
You'd do that?
1032
00:50:00,012 --> 00:50:01,637
I'd be happy to do it.
1033
00:50:01,721 --> 00:50:03,345
If it's okay with you.
1034
00:50:03,429 --> 00:50:05,554
And Carl, of course.
1035
00:50:05,637 --> 00:50:07,137
If it's a choice between this
1036
00:50:07,220 --> 00:50:09,012
and the goddamn Marines,
who knows?
1037
00:50:09,095 --> 00:50:11,053
Maybe he would.
1038
00:50:11,137 --> 00:50:12,596
He should go.
1039
00:50:19,846 --> 00:50:21,554
Why are you doing this, Noah?
1040
00:50:23,596 --> 00:50:26,137
You really think my son
is that brilliant?
1041
00:50:28,554 --> 00:50:30,762
Yeah, I do.
1042
00:50:30,846 --> 00:50:32,970
But I'm not doing it for him.
1043
00:50:34,429 --> 00:50:36,304
♪ quiet, ambient music ♪
1044
00:50:36,387 --> 00:50:38,137
♪ ♪ ♪
1045
00:50:48,304 --> 00:50:49,970
Mmm.
1046
00:50:52,137 --> 00:50:54,137
[panting]
1047
00:51:04,429 --> 00:51:06,345
[grunting]
1048
00:51:15,554 --> 00:51:17,095
[chuckling]
1049
00:51:17,178 --> 00:51:18,637
Does it turn you on
1050
00:51:18,721 --> 00:51:20,345
-that I'm your boss?
-Oh, Jesus.
1051
00:51:20,429 --> 00:51:22,178
-Janelle, shut the fuck up.
-[Janelle chuckling]
1052
00:51:25,970 --> 00:51:28,178
[moaning]
1053
00:51:38,887 --> 00:51:41,387
Oh, my. Oh, my.
1054
00:51:41,470 --> 00:51:43,637
[chuckling]
Oh, my God.
1055
00:51:43,721 --> 00:51:45,470
[panting]
1056
00:51:45,554 --> 00:51:47,012
Oh, my.
1057
00:51:48,053 --> 00:51:50,053
[chuckling]
1058
00:51:53,512 --> 00:51:55,637
[both panting]
1059
00:51:56,721 --> 00:51:58,554
Oh, fuck.
1060
00:52:09,345 --> 00:52:10,887
Excuse me.
Can you tell me
1061
00:52:10,970 --> 00:52:12,846
what the connecting gate
to New York is?
1062
00:52:12,928 --> 00:52:14,178
We don't have
that information.
1063
00:52:14,262 --> 00:52:15,928
You'll have to check in
on the ground.
1064
00:52:16,012 --> 00:52:17,554
Okay, thanks.
1065
00:52:18,721 --> 00:52:20,178
Hey.
1066
00:52:20,262 --> 00:52:22,053
Because we were
delayed taking off,
1067
00:52:22,137 --> 00:52:24,053
we're gonna have to book it
when we hit the ground
1068
00:52:24,137 --> 00:52:25,220
to make our
connection, okay?
1069
00:52:25,304 --> 00:52:26,429
Should've got a direct flight.
1070
00:52:28,137 --> 00:52:29,470
Yeah, well, your mother
booked this yesterday.
1071
00:52:29,554 --> 00:52:31,512
We were lucky to get
any flight at all.
1072
00:52:32,762 --> 00:52:34,262
Did you talk to your dad?
1073
00:52:35,596 --> 00:52:37,262
He won't call me back.
1074
00:52:42,679 --> 00:52:44,387
You're listening to my book?
1075
00:52:44,470 --> 00:52:45,596
Yeah.
1076
00:52:45,679 --> 00:52:47,637
It's pretty good, actually.
1077
00:52:47,721 --> 00:52:49,429
Thanks.
1078
00:52:51,345 --> 00:52:53,762
[indistinct chatter]
1079
00:52:53,846 --> 00:52:55,970
What?
1080
00:52:56,053 --> 00:52:57,429
That's weird.
1081
00:52:59,721 --> 00:53:00,928
Yo.
1082
00:53:05,470 --> 00:53:07,304
Hi.
1083
00:53:07,387 --> 00:53:10,220
Uh, we missed our connecting
flight to New York, so...
1084
00:53:10,304 --> 00:53:11,470
Uh, no.
1085
00:53:11,554 --> 00:53:13,554
"No"?
1086
00:53:13,637 --> 00:53:15,387
No, we have no more flights
to New York today.
1087
00:53:16,762 --> 00:53:18,304
What about the shuttle?
1088
00:53:18,387 --> 00:53:20,137
They're all booked.
[sighs]
1089
00:53:20,220 --> 00:53:22,637
We've had delays all day
because of the wind.
1090
00:53:22,721 --> 00:53:23,679
What about standby?
1091
00:53:23,762 --> 00:53:25,596
Good luck with standby.
1092
00:53:25,679 --> 00:53:27,679
Come on, is there anything
you can do to help?
1093
00:53:27,762 --> 00:53:31,470
Well, let me see
if I can switch you to...
1094
00:53:31,554 --> 00:53:32,637
Ah.
1095
00:53:32,721 --> 00:53:34,928
Tomorrow night, 8:23.
1096
00:53:35,012 --> 00:53:36,596
No, we have to get
to New York tonight.
1097
00:53:36,679 --> 00:53:38,304
Then rent a car.
1098
00:53:46,137 --> 00:53:48,012
They're gonna
run out of cars.
1099
00:53:48,095 --> 00:53:50,345
[cell phone ringing]
1100
00:53:53,512 --> 00:53:55,178
Cole?
1101
00:53:58,429 --> 00:54:00,178
Wait.
1102
00:54:01,762 --> 00:54:03,053
Wait. Cole, slow down.
1103
00:54:03,137 --> 00:54:05,095
What do you mean?
1104
00:54:05,178 --> 00:54:07,137
[Anton]
So, who's coming to get us?
1105
00:54:07,220 --> 00:54:08,846
[Noah]
An old friend.
1106
00:54:09,928 --> 00:54:11,721
[horn honks]
1107
00:54:11,804 --> 00:54:14,512
♪ tense, atmospheric music ♪
1108
00:54:14,596 --> 00:54:17,178
♪ ♪ ♪
1109
00:54:21,721 --> 00:54:24,512
[announcer over P.A.] Welcome to
O'Hare International Airport.
1110
00:54:24,596 --> 00:54:26,220
Loading zones
for rideshare services
1111
00:54:26,304 --> 00:54:28,012
are located on the upper level
1112
00:54:28,095 --> 00:54:30,387
of terminals one,
three and four.
1113
00:54:43,970 --> 00:54:46,928
I'm sure she's fine.
1114
00:54:47,012 --> 00:54:49,304
That makes one of us.
1115
00:54:58,220 --> 00:54:59,887
♪ rhythmic, atmospheric music ♪
1116
00:54:59,970 --> 00:55:01,970
♪ ♪ ♪
76182
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