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1
00:00:04,159 --> 00:00:05,478
Previously on
"The Affair"...
2
00:00:05,555 --> 00:00:07,911
Mr. Solloway,
you, uh, got a second?
3
00:00:07,988 --> 00:00:10,349
- What's up?
- I was, um, wondering if you
4
00:00:10,426 --> 00:00:12,840
could take a look at this other
thing I've been working on.
5
00:00:12,917 --> 00:00:15,207
- You reapplying to Princeton?
- Maybe. I don't... I don't know.
6
00:00:15,274 --> 00:00:17,275
[assistant] Mr. Solloway,
Principal Wilson's on the phone
7
00:00:17,342 --> 00:00:19,323
with the president of the board.
You shouldn't...
8
00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:21,436
- Are you firing me?
- What-what's going on?
9
00:00:21,513 --> 00:00:23,493
- Why are you here?
- I thought you should read this.
10
00:00:23,560 --> 00:00:25,342
Don't tell him
I gave it to you.
11
00:00:25,419 --> 00:00:28,726
- I owe you an apology.
- No, no, I-I barged in.
12
00:00:28,803 --> 00:00:31,497
- So, you still my boss?
- I'm on probation.
13
00:00:31,574 --> 00:00:33,910
Next week, I have to
supplicate to the board.
14
00:00:33,987 --> 00:00:35,539
Thank you for this.
15
00:00:35,616 --> 00:00:38,331
I'll read it over
and figure out what to do.
16
00:00:38,408 --> 00:00:40,481
[Noah] I'm happy
to brainstorm with you.
17
00:00:42,283 --> 00:00:43,534
[Anton]
Forgot my history book.
18
00:00:43,611 --> 00:00:45,826
I got my quiz tomorrow, and...
19
00:00:45,903 --> 00:00:47,956
- Mom?
- We were just, um,
20
00:00:48,033 --> 00:00:49,368
discussing your
Princeton essay.
21
00:00:49,445 --> 00:00:51,165
- You showed her?
- Princeton? Again?
22
00:00:51,242 --> 00:00:52,544
[Janelle] He wants
to go to the school.
23
00:00:52,611 --> 00:00:53,785
[Carl]
We made a decision.
24
00:00:53,862 --> 00:00:55,451
[Janelle]
Just read the damn thing!
25
00:00:55,528 --> 00:00:58,456
Nellie, let's just admit
what this is actually about.
26
00:00:58,533 --> 00:01:00,618
You were never gonna let him
stay here for school.
27
00:01:00,695 --> 00:01:03,122
[Nan] No one drives
all the way across the country
28
00:01:03,199 --> 00:01:04,789
just to see about a surfboard.
29
00:01:04,866 --> 00:01:07,165
[Cole] Truth is I'm in love
with somebody else.
30
00:01:07,242 --> 00:01:09,660
I'm gonna tell her how I feel.
So I'm going home.
31
00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:11,743
I'm so glad that you guys
moved in here.
32
00:01:11,820 --> 00:01:14,202
The last people had
a very stagnant energy.
33
00:01:14,279 --> 00:01:16,409
But you...
your being is, like...
34
00:01:16,486 --> 00:01:18,497
it's a little...
[clicks tongue]
35
00:01:18,574 --> 00:01:20,368
- It is?
- Yeah, I don't know.
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00:01:20,445 --> 00:01:22,160
I-I guess we'll find out.
37
00:01:22,237 --> 00:01:24,368
[Vik]
I'm going to die.
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00:01:24,445 --> 00:01:28,524
And I haven't really
made a single choice
39
00:01:28,601 --> 00:01:30,220
for myself.
40
00:01:31,324 --> 00:01:32,956
[Sierra] I am going
to Joshua Tree.
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00:01:33,033 --> 00:01:35,630
We go out there a couple times
a year to do a moon circle.
42
00:01:35,707 --> 00:01:37,606
- Do you want to come?
- I totally, totally don't.
43
00:01:37,673 --> 00:01:38,828
- Oh, okay.
- Okay?
44
00:01:38,905 --> 00:01:39,984
Cool.
45
00:01:40,061 --> 00:01:41,868
I have pancreatic cancer.
46
00:01:41,945 --> 00:01:43,252
I am going to die.
47
00:01:43,329 --> 00:01:44,445
What do you want me to do?
48
00:01:44,522 --> 00:01:46,581
I told you,
I want to have a baby.
49
00:01:46,658 --> 00:01:48,660
If you really want
to do something for me,
50
00:01:48,737 --> 00:01:50,564
you can do that.
51
00:01:59,700 --> 00:02:02,202
♪ I was screaming
into the canyon ♪
52
00:02:02,279 --> 00:02:05,284
♪ At the moment of my death ♪
53
00:02:05,361 --> 00:02:09,187
♪ The echo I created ♪
54
00:02:09,264 --> 00:02:12,208
♪ Outlasted my last breath ♪
55
00:02:12,285 --> 00:02:15,581
♪ My voice it made
an avalanche ♪
56
00:02:15,658 --> 00:02:18,723
♪ And buried a man
I never knew ♪
57
00:02:18,936 --> 00:02:21,873
♪ And when he died,
his widowed bride ♪
58
00:02:21,950 --> 00:02:24,671
♪ Met your daddy
and they made you ♪
59
00:02:24,748 --> 00:02:26,664
♪ I have only one thing to do ♪
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00:02:26,741 --> 00:02:28,868
♪ And that's be the wave
that I am, and then ♪
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00:02:28,945 --> 00:02:31,456
♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪
62
00:02:31,533 --> 00:02:33,456
♪ I have only one thing to do ♪
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00:02:33,533 --> 00:02:35,618
♪ And that's be the wave
that I am, and then ♪
64
00:02:35,695 --> 00:02:37,660
♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪
65
00:02:37,737 --> 00:02:39,831
♪ I have only one thing to do ♪
66
00:02:39,908 --> 00:02:42,368
♪ And that's be the wave
that I am, and then ♪
67
00:02:42,445 --> 00:02:45,581
♪ Sink back into the ocean,
sink back into the ocean ♪
68
00:02:45,658 --> 00:02:47,331
♪ Sink back into the o... ♪
69
00:02:47,408 --> 00:02:49,062
♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪
70
00:02:49,139 --> 00:02:50,861
♪ Sink back into the o... ♪
71
00:02:50,938 --> 00:02:52,326
♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪
72
00:02:52,403 --> 00:02:54,439
♪ Sink back
into the ocean ♪
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00:03:11,533 --> 00:03:13,898
[soft background music playing]
74
00:03:21,787 --> 00:03:22,908
Excuse me.
75
00:03:22,992 --> 00:03:24,984
Do you know where
I can find rolled oats?
76
00:03:25,061 --> 00:03:27,295
Aisle four,
beside the granola.
77
00:03:27,372 --> 00:03:29,531
- Excuse me, can you...
- Are you making overnight oats?
78
00:03:29,598 --> 00:03:30,937
No. What are
overnight oats?
79
00:03:31,014 --> 00:03:32,563
My sister turned me on to them.
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00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:33,651
If you're like me,
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00:03:33,728 --> 00:03:35,312
a total wreck
in the morning,
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00:03:35,389 --> 00:03:36,839
it'll save your life.
83
00:03:36,916 --> 00:03:38,060
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
84
00:03:38,137 --> 00:03:39,417
It's only like
five ingredients.
85
00:03:39,494 --> 00:03:41,354
- Okay.
- Rolled oats, almond milk,
86
00:03:41,431 --> 00:03:44,093
chia seed, peanut butter...
87
00:03:44,189 --> 00:03:45,554
Oh, shit.
88
00:03:45,631 --> 00:03:47,153
Chia seed,
peanut butter,
89
00:03:47,230 --> 00:03:48,731
almond milk...
maple syrup!
90
00:03:48,808 --> 00:03:50,315
And you need
a mason jar.
91
00:03:50,392 --> 00:03:51,528
Do you have one?
92
00:03:51,605 --> 00:03:52,804
One with a
really good top?
93
00:03:52,881 --> 00:03:54,546
- I think so.
- [Helen] Excuse me. Could you
94
00:03:54,613 --> 00:03:56,761
please tell me where
to find the Medjool dates?
95
00:03:57,855 --> 00:03:59,265
Oh. Sorry, sweetheart.
96
00:03:59,342 --> 00:04:00,543
What do you need?
97
00:04:02,063 --> 00:04:04,112
Medjool dates.
98
00:04:04,189 --> 00:04:05,481
I can't find them anywhere.
99
00:04:05,558 --> 00:04:07,988
Sure, sure. Aisle seven.
100
00:04:10,022 --> 00:04:12,107
[clerk] So, the key is to mix
everything together...
101
00:04:12,184 --> 00:04:15,191
And can you tell me where
the pregnancy tests are, please?
102
00:04:16,477 --> 00:04:17,686
Aisle two.
103
00:04:25,230 --> 00:04:27,147
[sighs]
104
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♪ quiet, ambient music ♪
105
00:04:34,892 --> 00:04:36,928
♪ ♪ ♪
106
00:04:41,230 --> 00:04:42,980
[sighs]
107
00:04:48,133 --> 00:04:50,245
♪ I can never get enough... ♪
108
00:04:50,322 --> 00:04:53,320
Mom, why are you taking
so many pills?
109
00:04:53,397 --> 00:04:55,569
Um, they're vitamins,
and they're for Vik.
110
00:04:55,646 --> 00:04:58,535
I thought, if I organized them,
he might actually take them.
111
00:04:58,612 --> 00:04:59,742
Oh.
112
00:04:59,819 --> 00:05:01,653
They're cancer vitamins?
113
00:05:01,730 --> 00:05:03,690
♪ As for me, I've got it
all right here ♪
114
00:05:03,767 --> 00:05:05,778
I love that song.
Turn it up.
115
00:05:05,855 --> 00:05:07,648
♪ You're all I need,
I'm just a boy... ♪
116
00:05:07,725 --> 00:05:09,399
Actually, why don't you
turn it off?
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00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:11,569
All right,
you guys, come on.
118
00:05:11,646 --> 00:05:12,966
- Backpacks, lunches.
- [music stops]
119
00:05:13,033 --> 00:05:14,570
Homework. Let's go.
120
00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:16,937
- Let's go.
- Hold on.
121
00:05:17,014 --> 00:05:19,130
- No. Come on.
- I'm going.
122
00:05:19,207 --> 00:05:21,951
- You're not going.
- Yes, I am!
123
00:05:31,534 --> 00:05:33,024
Can I talk to you?
124
00:05:33,219 --> 00:05:34,386
What's up?
125
00:05:35,557 --> 00:05:37,963
I took a pregnancy test
this morning.
126
00:05:38,990 --> 00:05:40,720
Why would you do that?
127
00:05:41,482 --> 00:05:42,882
Because I'm late.
128
00:05:42,959 --> 00:05:45,290
We were just at the doctor.
You're not pregnant.
129
00:05:45,367 --> 00:05:47,668
Yeah, I... well,
I know that now. I...
130
00:05:47,745 --> 00:05:49,528
Didn't you hear anything
that Dr. Roper said?
131
00:05:49,605 --> 00:05:50,855
Yeah.
132
00:05:50,938 --> 00:05:53,736
You're entering
menopause, Helen.
133
00:05:53,813 --> 00:05:56,550
That's why your period is late.
134
00:05:56,646 --> 00:05:58,397
[sighs]
135
00:05:58,847 --> 00:06:00,917
You know, things can happen.
136
00:06:01,105 --> 00:06:03,105
It's not impossible.
137
00:06:03,498 --> 00:06:06,178
Janet Jackson was older than me.
138
00:06:08,157 --> 00:06:10,519
Don't you think I'm too young
to be in menopause?
139
00:06:11,795 --> 00:06:13,910
Don't you think
I'm too young to die?
140
00:06:18,063 --> 00:06:19,105
Vik, wait.
141
00:06:19,189 --> 00:06:20,628
Kids, let's go!
142
00:06:23,490 --> 00:06:25,345
I'll make sure
he takes them, Mom.
143
00:06:25,810 --> 00:06:26,857
Thanks, baby.
144
00:06:26,934 --> 00:06:28,439
Bye.
145
00:06:31,813 --> 00:06:33,773
♪ Quiet, ambient music ♪
146
00:06:33,850 --> 00:06:35,886
♪ ♪ ♪
147
00:07:01,022 --> 00:07:02,315
[gasps, chuckles]
148
00:07:02,392 --> 00:07:03,480
Helen.
149
00:07:03,563 --> 00:07:04,737
Oh, my God,
you scared me.
150
00:07:04,814 --> 00:07:06,361
Hi.
151
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,185
[panting]
152
00:07:08,432 --> 00:07:09,672
You want some?
153
00:07:10,813 --> 00:07:13,429
Yeah. Sure.
154
00:07:17,563 --> 00:07:19,778
I know you hate California.
155
00:07:19,855 --> 00:07:22,348
You have to admit,
we have better weed.
156
00:07:22,537 --> 00:07:24,315
When did I say
I hated California?
157
00:07:24,392 --> 00:07:25,755
I can just tell.
158
00:07:25,832 --> 00:07:28,653
You're one of those
East Coast snobs
159
00:07:28,730 --> 00:07:31,934
who just loves to act
like you're in exile out here.
160
00:07:34,397 --> 00:07:37,363
Oh, no. Where is that
cookbook your mother wrote?
161
00:07:37,725 --> 00:07:38,898
It's in there.
162
00:07:38,975 --> 00:07:40,663
- Yeah, but which one?
- See, the thing that you
163
00:07:40,730 --> 00:07:42,450
transplants don't understand
164
00:07:42,527 --> 00:07:46,019
is that California is actually
the cradle of civilization.
165
00:07:46,096 --> 00:07:48,809
Uh, actually, I think that's
somewhere in the Middle East.
166
00:07:49,022 --> 00:07:52,345
Yeah, if you're talking
about patriarchal society.
167
00:07:52,779 --> 00:07:55,257
I'm talking about
matriarchal society.
168
00:07:55,334 --> 00:07:57,208
And you think that started here?
169
00:07:57,285 --> 00:07:58,927
Not right here.
170
00:07:59,004 --> 00:08:01,440
About 150 miles east,
in Joshua Tree.
171
00:08:01,517 --> 00:08:02,936
Sierra?
172
00:08:03,709 --> 00:08:06,840
You know nothing you're saying
is true, right?
173
00:08:09,605 --> 00:08:10,940
Such a cynic.
174
00:08:11,017 --> 00:08:12,521
[chuckles]
175
00:08:13,897 --> 00:08:15,105
I win.
176
00:08:15,303 --> 00:08:16,355
Oh, wait.
177
00:08:16,615 --> 00:08:17,937
No, I don't.
178
00:08:18,014 --> 00:08:19,271
You know, I wouldn't
have figured you
179
00:08:19,338 --> 00:08:20,957
for a solitaire type of girl.
180
00:08:21,108 --> 00:08:23,286
My mom taught me
when I was a kid
181
00:08:23,363 --> 00:08:26,394
so that I could keep myself
entertained when she was on set.
182
00:08:26,706 --> 00:08:29,446
I didn't really have
many friends my own age.
183
00:08:29,806 --> 00:08:31,629
That's why I'm such an old soul.
184
00:08:33,402 --> 00:08:35,605
No, you're not an old anything.
185
00:08:35,826 --> 00:08:39,137
Helen, I'm gonna
be 30 next year.
186
00:08:39,225 --> 00:08:40,304
Wow.
187
00:08:40,381 --> 00:08:42,488
No, you don't understand.
188
00:08:42,607 --> 00:08:46,397
Thirty is almost, like,
50 in actor years.
189
00:08:46,474 --> 00:08:49,302
Well, I'm almost, like,
50 in people years.
190
00:08:49,379 --> 00:08:51,394
Yeah, but you're still
really fuckable.
191
00:08:51,537 --> 00:08:53,154
I'm never gonna be
that fuckable
192
00:08:53,231 --> 00:08:54,970
when I'm your age.
193
00:08:55,412 --> 00:08:56,970
What time is it?
194
00:08:57,154 --> 00:08:58,403
I don't know.
195
00:08:58,480 --> 00:09:00,023
Alexa, what time is it?
196
00:09:00,100 --> 00:09:02,296
[Alexa]
The time is 11:04 a.m.
197
00:09:02,373 --> 00:09:04,504
Oh, shit.
I gotta get an Uber.
198
00:09:04,688 --> 00:09:06,262
Where you going?
199
00:09:06,873 --> 00:09:08,148
To Joshua Tree.
200
00:09:08,225 --> 00:09:09,815
To my women's moon circle.
201
00:09:09,892 --> 00:09:11,296
I invited you, remember?
202
00:09:11,373 --> 00:09:12,862
You kind of spat in my face.
203
00:09:13,842 --> 00:09:15,793
Yeah, I'm sorry about that.
204
00:09:15,870 --> 00:09:17,170
It's fine.
205
00:09:17,795 --> 00:09:19,457
It's too bad, though.
206
00:09:19,638 --> 00:09:21,359
I mean, I just had
this intuition
207
00:09:21,436 --> 00:09:23,720
that you really needed
some guidance, but...
208
00:09:24,076 --> 00:09:25,803
[cell phone buzzes]
209
00:09:29,628 --> 00:09:31,035
[clicks tongue, sighs]
210
00:09:38,847 --> 00:09:40,962
What is a moon circle, exactly?
211
00:09:42,232 --> 00:09:44,223
New moons represent beginnings.
212
00:09:44,308 --> 00:09:48,198
It's a time for planting seeds
and setting intentions,
213
00:09:48,275 --> 00:09:52,519
and then committing to behaviors
to help us manifest them.
214
00:09:53,006 --> 00:09:55,117
And I'm really looking
forward to this one,
215
00:09:55,194 --> 00:09:56,685
because Gaelle
is going to be there.
216
00:09:56,762 --> 00:09:57,970
Who's Gaelle?
217
00:09:58,388 --> 00:09:59,690
She's my guru.
218
00:09:59,767 --> 00:10:01,387
She's a healer.
219
00:10:01,490 --> 00:10:03,070
She's a true gift.
220
00:10:03,147 --> 00:10:05,232
I mean, my work with her
has been so transformative,
221
00:10:05,309 --> 00:10:07,191
I don't even see
my therapist anymore.
222
00:10:12,303 --> 00:10:13,975
Fuck it.
223
00:10:15,813 --> 00:10:17,314
I'll go.
224
00:10:18,154 --> 00:10:20,429
- For real?
- For real.
225
00:10:21,397 --> 00:10:23,230
Oh, my God. Awesome.
226
00:10:24,439 --> 00:10:27,322
[Sierra] You sure Vik
won't mind us borrowing his car?
227
00:10:27,399 --> 00:10:31,186
Um, he might, but I don't
particularly care at the moment.
228
00:10:33,097 --> 00:10:35,199
What kind of music
do you like?
229
00:10:35,615 --> 00:10:38,418
Oh, I think probably nothing
that you would like.
230
00:10:38,576 --> 00:10:39,945
Try me.
231
00:10:40,623 --> 00:10:41,690
Uh, I don't know.
232
00:10:41,767 --> 00:10:42,815
I like rock music.
233
00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:44,399
I like some folk music.
234
00:10:44,476 --> 00:10:45,529
Patti Smith?
235
00:10:45,606 --> 00:10:47,186
Uh, sure.
236
00:10:48,326 --> 00:10:50,606
She's my favorite
when I'm super depressed.
237
00:10:50,683 --> 00:10:52,427
Probably listened
to this album
238
00:10:52,504 --> 00:10:54,606
like 500 times
in the past week.
239
00:10:54,683 --> 00:10:57,278
- Why were you super depressed?
- Um...
240
00:10:57,355 --> 00:10:59,520
[Patti Smith's
"Peaceable Kingdom" plays]
241
00:10:59,597 --> 00:11:01,996
I fucked a married man.
242
00:11:02,980 --> 00:11:06,335
I'm really annoyed
with myself
243
00:11:06,412 --> 00:11:09,950
because I've done it before,
and it never ends well for me.
244
00:11:10,027 --> 00:11:11,365
I see.
245
00:11:11,879 --> 00:11:14,271
And I even know his wife,
246
00:11:14,348 --> 00:11:15,615
and I...
247
00:11:15,938 --> 00:11:18,324
I really like his wife, so...
248
00:11:19,701 --> 00:11:21,255
it was a stupid thing to do.
249
00:11:21,332 --> 00:11:22,569
Why did you do it?
250
00:11:22,646 --> 00:11:24,565
My mom broke up
like two marriages,
251
00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:28,070
so I guess I just always thought
that's how you vet a man,
252
00:11:28,147 --> 00:11:30,232
like how you know
if he's stable or not.
253
00:11:30,309 --> 00:11:32,629
You mean, if he's married
to someone else?
254
00:11:32,712 --> 00:11:33,828
Yeah, like,
255
00:11:33,905 --> 00:11:34,935
that's how
you can tell
256
00:11:35,012 --> 00:11:36,481
if he's serious
about commitment.
257
00:11:36,558 --> 00:11:38,611
That's what my mom
always said.
258
00:11:38,688 --> 00:11:39,950
You're gonna think
I'm full of it,
259
00:11:40,017 --> 00:11:42,429
but I wish I had your life.
260
00:11:43,131 --> 00:11:44,505
Oh.
261
00:11:44,855 --> 00:11:46,278
No, you don't.
262
00:11:46,355 --> 00:11:47,945
No, I'm serious.
263
00:11:48,022 --> 00:11:50,488
I would so much rather be you.
264
00:11:50,936 --> 00:11:52,636
I mean,
look at my life.
265
00:11:52,713 --> 00:11:54,055
Yeah?
266
00:11:54,132 --> 00:11:57,138
Literally, the only
currency that I have
267
00:11:57,215 --> 00:11:59,546
is my youth
268
00:11:59,623 --> 00:12:02,637
or my sex or whatever.
269
00:12:03,409 --> 00:12:05,742
But you...
270
00:12:06,561 --> 00:12:08,023
you, like, have it all.
271
00:12:08,100 --> 00:12:10,684
- [Helen chuckles]
- No, you're...
272
00:12:12,576 --> 00:12:15,507
You're, like,
this smart, beautiful,
273
00:12:15,584 --> 00:12:16,812
sophisticated woman.
274
00:12:16,889 --> 00:12:18,224
You've made all
the right choices.
275
00:12:18,301 --> 00:12:20,005
You have...
276
00:12:20,082 --> 00:12:21,279
I mean,
you don't have men
277
00:12:21,356 --> 00:12:23,364
chewing you up
and spitting you out.
278
00:12:23,441 --> 00:12:26,512
You have a family
and Vik and...
279
00:12:26,803 --> 00:12:29,570
I mean, you have a whole world
that needs you.
280
00:12:29,647 --> 00:12:32,019
Like, literally
couldn't live without you.
281
00:12:33,030 --> 00:12:34,936
How do I get that?
282
00:12:38,364 --> 00:12:41,563
♪ To build it back again ♪
283
00:12:43,980 --> 00:12:47,621
♪ Build the peaceable kingdom ♪
284
00:12:50,189 --> 00:12:51,272
See?
285
00:12:51,355 --> 00:12:53,012
♪ Back again ♪
286
00:12:53,162 --> 00:12:54,605
Told you.
287
00:12:54,803 --> 00:12:56,036
Pretty great, right?
288
00:12:56,113 --> 00:12:58,606
♪ Build it back again ♪
289
00:12:58,683 --> 00:13:00,314
Come on.
290
00:13:02,932 --> 00:13:05,990
We're gonna miss the
Blessing of the Eagle Feather.
291
00:13:08,272 --> 00:13:10,023
♪ Rhythmic, tribal music ♪
292
00:13:10,100 --> 00:13:11,820
♪ ♪ ♪
293
00:13:11,897 --> 00:13:16,736
I want you all to take
a big, deep breath.
294
00:13:16,813 --> 00:13:21,694
We've made it to the new moon
in tropical Libra.
295
00:13:21,771 --> 00:13:23,690
We call upon this new moon,
our cosmic mother...
296
00:13:23,767 --> 00:13:24,934
[whispers]
That's Gaelle?
297
00:13:25,011 --> 00:13:26,065
Yeah. Isn't she
wonderful?
298
00:13:26,142 --> 00:13:27,486
You said she was a guru.
299
00:13:27,563 --> 00:13:29,481
- [Sierra] She is.
- [Gaelle] Join us...
300
00:13:29,558 --> 00:13:30,604
She's a teenager.
301
00:13:30,681 --> 00:13:31,940
Well, she was
an Incan princess
302
00:13:32,017 --> 00:13:33,528
in a past life.
303
00:13:33,605 --> 00:13:35,565
[Gaelle] Help us uncover
our first selves...
304
00:13:35,642 --> 00:13:39,146
I don't care if you don't
believe me. It's true.
305
00:13:39,476 --> 00:13:41,446
[Gaelle]
We call upon fire...
306
00:13:41,523 --> 00:13:43,565
[Helen] Is she even allowed
to wear that thing?
307
00:13:43,642 --> 00:13:45,237
- What do you mean?
- I mean,
308
00:13:45,314 --> 00:13:46,876
it's kind of
politically incorrect.
309
00:13:46,953 --> 00:13:48,217
- Shh.
- I mean, how many birds
310
00:13:48,294 --> 00:13:50,107
- had to die to make...
- Okay, Helen. Shh.
311
00:13:50,184 --> 00:13:54,149
Let its great power
transmute our negative,
312
00:13:54,226 --> 00:13:56,178
lower energies.
313
00:13:56,461 --> 00:13:57,731
- [Helen coughing]
- And help us
314
00:13:57,808 --> 00:13:59,952
move forward into positivity
315
00:14:00,029 --> 00:14:01,351
and light.
316
00:14:02,147 --> 00:14:04,569
[continues coughing]
317
00:14:04,646 --> 00:14:07,499
For people whose chakras
are particularly blocked,
318
00:14:07,576 --> 00:14:09,587
the sage is very powerful.
319
00:14:09,664 --> 00:14:11,499
I'm allergic to sage.
[sniffs]
320
00:14:11,576 --> 00:14:13,373
It's...
[clears throat]
321
00:14:13,450 --> 00:14:15,778
It's Helen, right?
322
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:17,565
- Mm-hmm.
- You're lucky the universe
323
00:14:17,642 --> 00:14:20,304
chose to partner you
with Sierra here.
324
00:14:20,687 --> 00:14:22,217
I've rarely met a sister
325
00:14:22,294 --> 00:14:24,595
whose sacral chakra
is more aligned.
326
00:14:31,022 --> 00:14:33,262
[Helen coughs]
327
00:14:52,521 --> 00:14:54,023
[woman]
Get a yurt!
328
00:14:54,100 --> 00:14:55,560
[light laughter]
329
00:15:01,865 --> 00:15:04,105
Thank you for holding space.
330
00:15:04,230 --> 00:15:08,012
Thank you for receiving light.
331
00:15:21,855 --> 00:15:23,820
[Sierra]
Oh, my God, I hate
332
00:15:23,897 --> 00:15:26,716
having to wear clothes
all the time. Don't you?
333
00:15:28,147 --> 00:15:30,606
That's what I love
about being out here.
334
00:15:30,683 --> 00:15:32,315
There's not
a man in sight.
335
00:15:32,392 --> 00:15:35,224
It's so liberating.
336
00:15:35,570 --> 00:15:37,023
- [Helen] Uh...
- [Sierra sighs]
337
00:15:37,100 --> 00:15:38,690
So, what's the, um...
338
00:15:38,767 --> 00:15:40,493
What's on the, uh...
339
00:15:40,570 --> 00:15:42,285
What are we doing tonight?
340
00:15:42,362 --> 00:15:44,655
Well, I don't know exactly.
341
00:15:44,732 --> 00:15:47,647
Um, with Gaelle,
anything could happen,
342
00:15:47,724 --> 00:15:50,486
but we usually have a banquet,
343
00:15:50,563 --> 00:15:52,458
and then we do the moon circle.
344
00:15:52,539 --> 00:15:53,539
Cool.
345
00:15:54,105 --> 00:15:56,810
Ooh. This...
346
00:15:57,265 --> 00:16:00,421
is for you to wear to dinner.
347
00:16:00,498 --> 00:16:02,966
Oh, uh, do I have to?
348
00:16:03,523 --> 00:16:05,634
Well, no, you don't have to,
349
00:16:05,711 --> 00:16:07,813
but I don't know
how you expect to have
350
00:16:07,890 --> 00:16:09,315
a transformative experience
351
00:16:09,392 --> 00:16:11,512
if you don't at least try
to participate.
352
00:16:12,265 --> 00:16:13,970
[gong crashing]
353
00:16:14,203 --> 00:16:15,794
What is that?
354
00:16:15,875 --> 00:16:17,335
That's the dinner gong.
355
00:16:17,412 --> 00:16:19,387
Gaelle loves that thing.
356
00:16:19,476 --> 00:16:21,439
So, um...
357
00:16:22,101 --> 00:16:25,677
what's up with the make-out sesh
with you and Gaelle?
358
00:16:25,757 --> 00:16:28,454
Oh. Yeah, there's a little more
359
00:16:28,531 --> 00:16:30,274
to that story
than I initially let on.
360
00:16:30,351 --> 00:16:31,648
Is she your girlfriend?
361
00:16:31,725 --> 00:16:35,665
No. No, I mean,
she's not... not now.
362
00:16:35,742 --> 00:16:38,576
She was, briefly,
for like a second.
363
00:16:38,656 --> 00:16:40,012
So you're bi?
364
00:16:40,398 --> 00:16:42,028
I don't like labels.
365
00:16:42,105 --> 00:16:43,970
Well, no, of course you don't.
366
00:16:46,563 --> 00:16:49,195
Um, I should call Vik
and tell him
367
00:16:49,272 --> 00:16:50,898
I'm not going to be home.
368
00:16:50,975 --> 00:16:52,690
How is Vik?
369
00:16:52,767 --> 00:16:54,563
He's fine.
370
00:16:54,646 --> 00:16:56,315
I just... I-I saw him
the other day,
371
00:16:56,392 --> 00:16:57,898
and he seemed a little tired.
372
00:16:57,975 --> 00:16:59,544
Well, he has a huge job, so...
373
00:17:00,625 --> 00:17:02,362
Hi. It's me.
374
00:17:02,439 --> 00:17:04,582
I'm just calling to say
that I'm not coming home.
375
00:17:04,659 --> 00:17:08,320
Um, and the kids are with Noah,
so you're on your own.
376
00:17:08,397 --> 00:17:12,060
Uh, there's some of your mom's
baingan bharta in the freezer.
377
00:17:12,257 --> 00:17:14,230
Okay. Bye.
378
00:17:14,429 --> 00:17:16,444
[gong crashes]
379
00:17:16,521 --> 00:17:18,065
Are you really not
gonna wear that?
380
00:17:18,142 --> 00:17:19,845
Because you're gonna be
the only one.
381
00:17:21,314 --> 00:17:22,778
Okay, fine.
382
00:17:22,855 --> 00:17:23,970
[short chuckle]
383
00:17:31,771 --> 00:17:35,357
So... what about you?
384
00:17:35,434 --> 00:17:38,444
Um, what about me?
385
00:17:38,521 --> 00:17:40,747
Do you only sleep with men?
386
00:17:40,898 --> 00:17:42,554
Um, mostly.
387
00:17:43,688 --> 00:17:45,845
Um, say more.
388
00:17:47,063 --> 00:17:49,053
[gong crashes]
389
00:17:51,314 --> 00:17:54,237
[Sierra] I forgot to tell you
about the pièce de résistance.
390
00:17:54,314 --> 00:17:56,940
Later tonight, we're going
to a sensory deprivation tank.
391
00:17:57,017 --> 00:17:58,278
[Helen]
A what?
392
00:17:58,355 --> 00:17:59,555
Seriously,
you don't know
393
00:17:59,632 --> 00:18:01,274
what a sensory
deprivation tank is?
394
00:18:01,351 --> 00:18:02,565
- Should I?
- Oh, my God.
395
00:18:02,642 --> 00:18:04,035
Helen, you're
gonna love it.
396
00:18:04,112 --> 00:18:06,399
The water is warmed to
your exact body temperature,
397
00:18:06,476 --> 00:18:08,986
and it's like
this big womb,
398
00:18:09,063 --> 00:18:11,399
and you just kind of float
in this mystical cocoon,
399
00:18:11,476 --> 00:18:13,357
and it's, like,
totally transformative.
400
00:18:13,434 --> 00:18:15,486
You use that word a lot.
401
00:18:15,563 --> 00:18:18,099
Yeah, I'm just
noticing that, too.
402
00:18:18,797 --> 00:18:21,723
[Gaelle] Okay, ladies,
hand over your fears
403
00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:23,254
that you wrote down.
404
00:18:23,605 --> 00:18:24,773
[Gaelle clears throat]
405
00:18:24,850 --> 00:18:27,125
Okay.
406
00:18:27,727 --> 00:18:30,133
Okay, do I have a card
from everybody?
407
00:18:35,820 --> 00:18:39,857
Now, the first step
in validating our narratives
408
00:18:39,934 --> 00:18:42,841
is owning what scares us.
409
00:18:43,147 --> 00:18:46,611
As you all know,
a new moon is an ideal time
410
00:18:46,688 --> 00:18:49,315
for clearing psychic debris
that has accumulated
411
00:18:49,392 --> 00:18:51,945
over the previous lunation.
412
00:18:52,022 --> 00:18:55,112
You have all trusted
your current blockages
413
00:18:55,189 --> 00:18:56,440
to this sisterhood.
414
00:18:56,517 --> 00:18:58,403
Now, together, we will
415
00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:00,318
dissolve them with love.
416
00:19:02,006 --> 00:19:03,131
Okay.
417
00:19:05,355 --> 00:19:06,762
[clears throat]
418
00:19:06,839 --> 00:19:08,136
[laughs]
419
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:10,237
- I'm sorry.
- Read it!
420
00:19:10,314 --> 00:19:11,857
- [laughter]
- What does it say?
421
00:19:11,934 --> 00:19:14,028
- Read it.
- Okay, okay.
422
00:19:14,105 --> 00:19:16,694
"My boyfriend asked me
to try anal with him last week."
423
00:19:16,771 --> 00:19:18,660
- [laughter]
- And then there's a frowny face
424
00:19:18,737 --> 00:19:21,606
with X's for eyes.
425
00:19:21,933 --> 00:19:24,214
Ladies, suggestions?
426
00:19:25,521 --> 00:19:26,731
[throats clearing]
427
00:19:26,808 --> 00:19:27,921
Butt plugs.
428
00:19:27,998 --> 00:19:29,540
The glass kind.
429
00:19:29,617 --> 00:19:31,328
They're tiny.
They're not offensive.
430
00:19:31,405 --> 00:19:33,315
I mean, at first, I was like,
"Absolutely not.
431
00:19:33,392 --> 00:19:34,815
No way. Not happening."
432
00:19:34,892 --> 00:19:37,278
But they are
a gateway drug to anal.
433
00:19:37,355 --> 00:19:39,690
What if I don't want
a gateway drug to anal?
434
00:19:39,767 --> 00:19:41,070
Oh, you do.
435
00:19:41,147 --> 00:19:42,731
You should listen to the lady.
436
00:19:42,808 --> 00:19:44,230
[laughter]
437
00:19:44,314 --> 00:19:45,778
[Gaelle]
Okay.
438
00:19:45,855 --> 00:19:47,315
[Gaelle clears throat]
439
00:19:47,392 --> 00:19:49,694
Next, let's see.
440
00:19:49,771 --> 00:19:51,399
"I am afraid having children
441
00:19:51,476 --> 00:19:54,278
is going to steal
my creative spirit.
442
00:19:54,355 --> 00:19:56,653
I still have so much
I want to accomplish.
443
00:19:56,730 --> 00:19:58,357
What if I wake up
an old woman
444
00:19:58,434 --> 00:20:00,773
and realize I gave up
all my energy
445
00:20:00,850 --> 00:20:02,565
to my children?"
446
00:20:02,642 --> 00:20:05,105
Fuck.
447
00:20:05,189 --> 00:20:07,314
That...
448
00:20:07,397 --> 00:20:08,980
Anyone?
449
00:20:10,980 --> 00:20:12,189
Okay.
450
00:20:12,272 --> 00:20:14,315
Guys, clearly that's mine.
451
00:20:14,392 --> 00:20:16,355
Um...
452
00:20:16,439 --> 00:20:19,237
I'm, like, freaking out.
453
00:20:19,314 --> 00:20:21,523
Like, seriously, like,
I don't even know...
454
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:23,444
I'm not prepared for this.
455
00:20:23,521 --> 00:20:25,648
Like, what if this
ruins my life?
456
00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:29,304
[crying] Like, I really fucking
like my life, you know?
457
00:20:31,242 --> 00:20:32,606
[Gaelle] The answer
already exists
458
00:20:32,683 --> 00:20:34,137
in you, Cass.
459
00:20:36,148 --> 00:20:40,287
It will come if you
let yourself surrender.
460
00:20:40,406 --> 00:20:42,646
I am surrendering.
461
00:20:43,077 --> 00:20:44,653
Surrender more.
462
00:20:44,730 --> 00:20:46,486
[Cass]
Okay, Gaelle,
463
00:20:46,563 --> 00:20:49,153
with all due respect,
you have never been pregnant,
464
00:20:49,230 --> 00:20:51,736
and you have no fucking clue
what this feels like.
465
00:20:51,813 --> 00:20:53,606
- Calm down, Cass!
- Guys, don't fight.
466
00:20:53,683 --> 00:20:55,255
I know what it feels like.
467
00:20:56,836 --> 00:20:58,357
I have four kids.
468
00:20:58,434 --> 00:20:59,731
- Whoa.
- Geez.
469
00:20:59,808 --> 00:21:01,230
[laughter]
470
00:21:01,314 --> 00:21:03,149
And I do... I remember
being terrified
471
00:21:03,226 --> 00:21:04,857
before my first daughter
was born.
472
00:21:04,934 --> 00:21:07,474
My husband said I was acting
like a caged animal.
473
00:21:07,551 --> 00:21:10,365
Yes, that's exactly how I feel.
474
00:21:12,695 --> 00:21:14,220
What do you do?
475
00:21:14,530 --> 00:21:16,785
I'm a designer.
I make furniture.
476
00:21:16,862 --> 00:21:19,130
Ah. I love design.
477
00:21:19,828 --> 00:21:21,304
I used to have a shop.
478
00:21:21,437 --> 00:21:22,480
Where?
479
00:21:22,968 --> 00:21:24,529
In Brooklyn.
480
00:21:25,662 --> 00:21:28,401
- It was a great shop.
- Mmm.
481
00:21:28,781 --> 00:21:31,023
But, you know, um,
I can say this.
482
00:21:31,100 --> 00:21:34,153
Your life is about
to completely change.
483
00:21:34,230 --> 00:21:35,153
- Fuck.
- No, but not
484
00:21:35,230 --> 00:21:36,232
in the way you think.
485
00:21:36,309 --> 00:21:38,399
It-it doesn't get smaller.
486
00:21:38,476 --> 00:21:41,122
It gets larger.
487
00:21:41,429 --> 00:21:42,778
[Cass] How?
488
00:21:42,855 --> 00:21:46,607
Okay, when... right after I had
my first daughter, Whitney,
489
00:21:47,015 --> 00:21:50,522
I had this moment,
and I remember it very clearly.
490
00:21:50,599 --> 00:21:51,614
I was looking
491
00:21:51,691 --> 00:21:53,820
at her little face,
and, um,
492
00:21:53,897 --> 00:21:57,639
it suddenly occurred to me
that she was going to...
493
00:21:57,716 --> 00:21:59,341
outlive me.
494
00:21:59,688 --> 00:22:01,982
Her life was going
to extend beyond mine,
495
00:22:02,059 --> 00:22:04,927
and I was finite.
496
00:22:05,147 --> 00:22:08,387
You know, really just dust
in the fucking wind.
497
00:22:08,655 --> 00:22:10,898
And so...
498
00:22:11,272 --> 00:22:14,544
I just said to myself,
"Okay, then, if that's true,
499
00:22:14,621 --> 00:22:17,903
what am I going to do
with my one
500
00:22:17,980 --> 00:22:19,880
wild and precious life?"
501
00:22:21,688 --> 00:22:23,095
Mary Oliver.
502
00:22:25,272 --> 00:22:27,576
You guys don't know
Mary Oliver?
503
00:22:27,897 --> 00:22:29,481
Okay, but what
was the answer?
504
00:22:29,558 --> 00:22:30,898
Like, what did you do?
505
00:22:30,975 --> 00:22:32,444
Well, I had
more children.
506
00:22:32,521 --> 00:22:33,898
- Oh, that's nice.
- [laughter]
507
00:22:33,975 --> 00:22:35,403
But I love being a mother.
508
00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:37,231
And not everybody does,
and that's okay.
509
00:22:37,308 --> 00:22:39,046
I mean, you don't have to give
everything over
510
00:22:39,113 --> 00:22:40,590
- to this little person.
- You just have to make
511
00:22:40,657 --> 00:22:42,463
some room for her. Or him.
512
00:22:42,540 --> 00:22:43,801
It's a girl.
513
00:22:46,897 --> 00:22:48,648
The heart actually does expand.
514
00:22:48,725 --> 00:22:51,403
I-I have no idea how it does it,
515
00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:54,310
but it seems to always be able
to make room for children.
516
00:22:56,375 --> 00:22:58,189
Helen...
517
00:22:58,851 --> 00:23:01,653
I'm passing my guru baton
to you this evening.
518
00:23:01,730 --> 00:23:03,232
- Oh, please don't.
- [laughter]
519
00:23:03,309 --> 00:23:04,439
I...
520
00:23:04,521 --> 00:23:06,480
I have to.
521
00:23:06,563 --> 00:23:08,440
Tonight belongs to you.
522
00:23:08,517 --> 00:23:09,938
[applause]
523
00:23:14,980 --> 00:23:16,598
What happens if
my husband loves a baby
524
00:23:16,675 --> 00:23:18,117
- more than he loves me?
- Well, he won't.
525
00:23:18,184 --> 00:23:19,731
And my boyfriend
wants to get pregnant.
526
00:23:19,808 --> 00:23:21,726
I'm not so sure
about him,
527
00:23:21,803 --> 00:23:24,274
but I want to really have a kid,
so should I just do it?
528
00:23:24,351 --> 00:23:25,357
- No.
- [others] No.
529
00:23:25,434 --> 00:23:26,736
Don't do that.
530
00:23:26,813 --> 00:23:28,731
Like, what if I don't
find a man in time?
531
00:23:28,808 --> 00:23:30,481
Should I just do it alone?
532
00:23:30,558 --> 00:23:32,444
You can,
but it's very hard.
533
00:23:32,521 --> 00:23:34,533
But, I mean, that's why you guys
have each other, right?
534
00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:36,012
Why you have this group?
535
00:23:37,147 --> 00:23:39,107
Look, I want to be
honest with you.
536
00:23:39,184 --> 00:23:41,315
No matter how many new moons
537
00:23:41,392 --> 00:23:44,153
or tropical Libras
you circle under,
538
00:23:44,230 --> 00:23:46,606
the only way out of this thing
is through it.
539
00:23:46,683 --> 00:23:51,028
I mean, and you can talk to
astrologers or gurus or shamans,
540
00:23:51,105 --> 00:23:53,028
but the only thing
that really works
541
00:23:53,105 --> 00:23:55,315
is living and making choices
and making mistakes,
542
00:23:55,392 --> 00:23:56,731
and then eventually,
543
00:23:56,808 --> 00:23:58,435
you get old enough...
544
00:23:59,467 --> 00:24:01,956
and you start
to figure shit out.
545
00:24:06,855 --> 00:24:10,387
I thought we were going
to a sensory derivation bank.
546
00:24:10,792 --> 00:24:13,866
A sensory deprivation tank?
547
00:24:16,147 --> 00:24:17,694
What did I say?
548
00:24:17,771 --> 00:24:20,690
I think maybe we should
take that away from you.
549
00:24:20,767 --> 00:24:22,070
Actually, be careful,
550
00:24:22,147 --> 00:24:24,178
'cause sometimes
Gaelle's stuff is laced.
551
00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:28,980
Oh, well.
552
00:24:31,980 --> 00:24:34,736
[takes a deep breath]
553
00:24:34,813 --> 00:24:38,744
So, what was your fear
that you wrote on the card?
554
00:24:39,302 --> 00:24:43,667
Um, I couldn't think of one.
555
00:24:46,042 --> 00:24:48,212
Your life is so perfect
that you don't have any fears?
556
00:24:48,289 --> 00:24:49,370
[laughs]
557
00:24:49,447 --> 00:24:51,770
My life is a total
fucking wreck.
558
00:24:57,980 --> 00:25:00,565
I thought I was pregnant
this morning.
559
00:25:00,642 --> 00:25:02,440
Oh, my God. Are you?
560
00:25:02,517 --> 00:25:05,257
No. I'm in menopause.
561
00:25:05,492 --> 00:25:07,034
Oh.
562
00:25:07,646 --> 00:25:09,274
That's a bummer.
563
00:25:09,351 --> 00:25:10,556
Is it?
564
00:25:11,786 --> 00:25:13,735
I don't know. Is it?
565
00:25:13,947 --> 00:25:16,015
I mean, do you want more kids?
566
00:25:16,133 --> 00:25:17,665
You know...
567
00:25:18,771 --> 00:25:21,007
I have four children.
568
00:25:22,119 --> 00:25:24,815
I don't actually want
another baby.
569
00:25:24,892 --> 00:25:28,107
I just... you know,
but Vik wanted it.
570
00:25:28,184 --> 00:25:32,460
And I thought that I
should give that to him.
571
00:25:32,938 --> 00:25:36,127
But this whole day,
I've been thinking about it,
572
00:25:36,204 --> 00:25:39,107
and I've been wondering,
how many of my children
573
00:25:39,184 --> 00:25:41,012
did I want?
574
00:25:42,572 --> 00:25:47,359
Was it for me,
or was it for Noah?
575
00:25:47,570 --> 00:25:48,776
Who's Noah?
576
00:25:48,853 --> 00:25:50,429
My first husband.
577
00:25:52,022 --> 00:25:53,903
I mean, all my life,
578
00:25:53,980 --> 00:25:55,934
I've been feeling...
I don't know how to say this.
579
00:25:56,001 --> 00:25:58,095
I've been feeling needed.
580
00:25:58,181 --> 00:26:01,012
By men, by my children.
581
00:26:01,119 --> 00:26:03,565
You know, I remember when Noah
and I first got together,
582
00:26:03,642 --> 00:26:06,023
his mother had just died,
and-and-and...
583
00:26:06,100 --> 00:26:08,240
I remember how much
he wanted me,
584
00:26:08,317 --> 00:26:12,190
in this kind of really
desperate sort of way.
585
00:26:12,267 --> 00:26:14,232
And he would just, like,
climb into bed with me
586
00:26:14,309 --> 00:26:15,940
and need to fuck me,
587
00:26:16,017 --> 00:26:19,274
to feel, um, connected
588
00:26:19,351 --> 00:26:21,778
or, uh, safe
589
00:26:21,855 --> 00:26:23,778
or cared for.
590
00:26:23,855 --> 00:26:25,565
I don't know, and I-I was...
591
00:26:25,642 --> 00:26:29,778
I was happy to give that
to him when I was young,
592
00:26:29,855 --> 00:26:32,804
because I thought that that's
what I was supposed to do.
593
00:26:36,392 --> 00:26:40,944
And then my children came along,
and they're just all need.
594
00:26:41,021 --> 00:26:43,149
You know, they're like
little, tiny,
595
00:26:43,226 --> 00:26:46,982
little, walking balls of need.
596
00:26:47,059 --> 00:26:51,403
And men... men don't understand.
597
00:26:51,480 --> 00:26:54,288
I mean, they have
this notion of...
598
00:26:54,392 --> 00:26:58,190
of-of what bringing a child
into their lives would mean,
599
00:26:58,267 --> 00:27:01,731
but... but-but they only do
a fraction of the work,
600
00:27:01,808 --> 00:27:05,046
and the rest is, like, up to us.
601
00:27:05,572 --> 00:27:08,507
I think I'm...
602
00:27:09,103 --> 00:27:11,940
I think I'm relieved
to finally be in menopause,
603
00:27:12,017 --> 00:27:14,624
because I will never...
604
00:27:15,119 --> 00:27:17,845
have to make a decision
like that again.
605
00:27:18,408 --> 00:27:21,859
You mean whether or not
to give a man what he wants?
606
00:27:25,689 --> 00:27:27,605
Yes.
607
00:27:31,033 --> 00:27:32,565
Yeah. Fuck.
608
00:27:32,642 --> 00:27:33,642
Yeah.
609
00:27:33,855 --> 00:27:35,928
I think maybe
that's it.
610
00:27:37,576 --> 00:27:39,201
[chuckles]
611
00:27:40,771 --> 00:27:42,210
You know why...
612
00:27:42,397 --> 00:27:44,757
You know why I like
having sex with women?
613
00:27:45,431 --> 00:27:47,017
No. Why?
614
00:27:47,697 --> 00:27:51,015
Because I find that sex
with women is just...
615
00:27:52,017 --> 00:27:54,053
so much more intimate.
616
00:27:54,603 --> 00:27:55,771
You know?
617
00:27:56,197 --> 00:27:58,023
Because I can relate
to their struggles,
618
00:27:58,100 --> 00:27:59,835
because they're my struggles.
619
00:28:00,658 --> 00:28:04,842
And so, when I see
a woman there naked
620
00:28:04,919 --> 00:28:09,288
and confident
and hungry for orgasm,
621
00:28:10,165 --> 00:28:12,764
it's like this
primal admiration.
622
00:28:14,813 --> 00:28:16,595
It's very sexy.
623
00:28:17,892 --> 00:28:20,063
And also,
624
00:28:20,147 --> 00:28:22,694
usually with women...
[clears throat]
625
00:28:22,855 --> 00:28:26,512
I feel like I have
a lot more control.
626
00:28:28,563 --> 00:28:30,397
And, um...
627
00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:33,512
I don't know,
control is really hot.
628
00:28:37,855 --> 00:28:41,512
♪ "Peaceable Kingdom"
by Patti Smith ♪
629
00:28:51,563 --> 00:28:56,486
♪ Yesterday I saw you
standing there ♪
630
00:28:56,563 --> 00:29:00,886
♪ With your hand
against the pane ♪
631
00:29:02,970 --> 00:29:07,387
♪ Looking out the window ♪
632
00:29:08,980 --> 00:29:11,357
♪ At the rain ♪
633
00:29:11,434 --> 00:29:14,444
[both moaning softly]
634
00:29:14,521 --> 00:29:19,387
♪ Maybe one day
we'll be strong enough ♪
635
00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:25,444
♪ To build it back again ♪
636
00:29:25,521 --> 00:29:30,595
♪ Build the peaceable kingdom ♪
637
00:29:31,813 --> 00:29:36,678
♪ Build it back again ♪
638
00:29:43,771 --> 00:29:46,387
[both chuckle]
639
00:29:47,938 --> 00:29:50,262
Listen, can I give you
some advice?
640
00:29:51,230 --> 00:29:53,565
Yeah, okay.
641
00:29:53,642 --> 00:29:54,923
Um...
642
00:29:56,470 --> 00:29:58,452
lay off the married guys.
643
00:29:59,509 --> 00:30:00,611
Yeah, I know.
644
00:30:00,688 --> 00:30:02,488
You don't, really,
because you're not married.
645
00:30:02,563 --> 00:30:04,237
You've never been married,
so you couldn't know.
646
00:30:04,304 --> 00:30:05,999
And that's okay, but...
647
00:30:07,087 --> 00:30:09,577
When you sleep
with a married man,
648
00:30:09,654 --> 00:30:13,055
it's not just him.
649
00:30:13,189 --> 00:30:15,648
There's a whole constellation
of people behind him,
650
00:30:15,725 --> 00:30:17,124
and it takes...
651
00:30:17,540 --> 00:30:19,579
years to build trust
in a marriage.
652
00:30:19,656 --> 00:30:22,167
And when you sleep
with someone's husband,
653
00:30:22,244 --> 00:30:23,430
it's not just a moment.
654
00:30:23,507 --> 00:30:25,736
It's years of his life,
and hers,
655
00:30:25,813 --> 00:30:29,023
and the promise they made to
each other and-and their kids,
656
00:30:29,105 --> 00:30:30,882
and it's everything.
657
00:30:31,525 --> 00:30:33,470
And you're just shitting
all over it.
658
00:30:35,958 --> 00:30:37,542
Fuck.
659
00:30:41,980 --> 00:30:44,195
[dance music playing]
660
00:30:44,272 --> 00:30:46,137
[indistinct, festive chatter]
661
00:30:47,480 --> 00:30:49,940
The deprivation tank is here?
662
00:30:50,017 --> 00:30:51,563
Yeah.
663
00:30:55,938 --> 00:30:59,399
I want to have
four kids one day, too.
664
00:30:59,476 --> 00:31:01,512
♪ ♪ ♪
665
00:31:32,022 --> 00:31:34,012
♪ ♪ ♪
666
00:32:02,063 --> 00:32:03,886
- Hey.
- No.
667
00:32:05,230 --> 00:32:06,897
Sorry.
668
00:32:14,855 --> 00:32:16,293
Hey, Helen.
669
00:32:16,370 --> 00:32:17,486
There you are.
670
00:32:17,563 --> 00:32:18,940
Oh, my God, I found it.
671
00:32:19,017 --> 00:32:20,023
I found the tank.
672
00:32:20,100 --> 00:32:21,761
Come on. Let's go.
673
00:32:35,855 --> 00:32:37,857
♪ Quiet, ambient music ♪
674
00:32:37,934 --> 00:32:39,761
♪ ♪ ♪
675
00:33:01,521 --> 00:33:03,636
♪ ♪ ♪
676
00:33:19,771 --> 00:33:20,855
[spits]
677
00:33:24,314 --> 00:33:25,355
[taps lid]
678
00:33:32,147 --> 00:33:34,678
[beating lid]
679
00:33:40,147 --> 00:33:42,147
[gasping]
680
00:33:44,730 --> 00:33:45,730
[gasps]
681
00:33:51,022 --> 00:33:52,861
[Sierra]
Helen.
682
00:33:52,938 --> 00:33:54,096
Helen, wait.
683
00:33:54,173 --> 00:33:55,976
Where are you going?
684
00:33:56,397 --> 00:33:58,357
♪ Tense, atmospheric music ♪
685
00:33:58,434 --> 00:34:00,845
♪ ♪ ♪
686
00:34:15,256 --> 00:34:17,025
Helen.
687
00:34:17,242 --> 00:34:19,089
What are you doing here?
I-I thought you were
688
00:34:19,166 --> 00:34:20,577
in the desert tonight.
689
00:34:25,563 --> 00:34:27,178
What's wrong?
690
00:34:27,834 --> 00:34:28,959
Come here.
691
00:34:31,784 --> 00:34:32,942
What is it?
692
00:34:33,019 --> 00:34:34,926
I don't want you to die.
693
00:34:38,439 --> 00:34:40,345
I don't want to die, either.
694
00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:46,481
♪ Quiet, ambient music ♪
695
00:34:46,558 --> 00:34:48,678
♪ ♪ ♪
696
00:34:54,329 --> 00:34:56,828
[crying]
697
00:35:01,189 --> 00:35:03,022
Don't die.
698
00:35:03,136 --> 00:35:05,126
Please don't die.
699
00:35:08,521 --> 00:35:10,107
- I won't.
- Promise me.
700
00:35:10,184 --> 00:35:11,611
I promise.
701
00:35:15,155 --> 00:35:16,863
I promise.
702
00:35:43,105 --> 00:35:45,429
[shuddering breaths]
703
00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:06,454
- [Noah] Trevor, straighten up.
- [Trevor] I am.
704
00:36:06,521 --> 00:36:07,867
- [tires squealing]
- [Noah] No, you're not!
705
00:36:07,934 --> 00:36:09,232
[Trevor]
Well, I'm trying.
706
00:36:09,309 --> 00:36:10,440
[Noah]
Holy shit, stop!
707
00:36:10,517 --> 00:36:12,134
Brake! Brake!
708
00:36:13,581 --> 00:36:15,649
[both panting]
709
00:36:15,726 --> 00:36:17,554
This sucks.
710
00:36:19,206 --> 00:36:21,038
Come on. I thought
you'd enjoy this.
711
00:36:21,115 --> 00:36:22,103
Why?
712
00:36:22,180 --> 00:36:23,853
Well, your first
driving lesson.
713
00:36:23,930 --> 00:36:26,137
- I don't know.
- This isn't my first.
714
00:36:26,214 --> 00:36:27,694
Vik lets me back Mom's car
715
00:36:27,771 --> 00:36:29,107
out of the driveway
sometimes.
716
00:36:29,184 --> 00:36:30,945
Yeah, I know, but, you know,
717
00:36:31,022 --> 00:36:33,232
here you're learning how
to steer and park and...
718
00:36:33,309 --> 00:36:35,063
Whatever.
719
00:36:35,620 --> 00:36:36,897
[sighs]
720
00:36:37,323 --> 00:36:40,023
Okay, buddy, why don't you
try reversing out?
721
00:36:40,100 --> 00:36:41,508
Are you giving up?
722
00:36:41,585 --> 00:36:43,028
This is pointless.
723
00:36:43,105 --> 00:36:45,535
I can't even take driver's ed
until next year.
724
00:36:45,612 --> 00:36:48,071
Vik and I were gonna
start lessons next summer.
725
00:37:08,147 --> 00:37:09,439
Hey, Trev.
726
00:37:11,003 --> 00:37:14,202
Listen, I-I wanted to talk
to you about something.
727
00:37:14,918 --> 00:37:16,237
Your friend, Brooklyn...
728
00:37:16,314 --> 00:37:17,681
What about him?
729
00:37:18,198 --> 00:37:19,325
Well, I just
wanted you to know
730
00:37:19,392 --> 00:37:23,053
that if there's... if there's
anything you wanted to...
731
00:37:23,534 --> 00:37:25,251
tell me about him or...
732
00:37:25,714 --> 00:37:27,871
- Anything at all.
- [Trevor sighs]
733
00:37:28,277 --> 00:37:31,262
Can we just get Stacey
and go back to Mom's now?
734
00:37:31,628 --> 00:37:32,771
Please.
735
00:37:35,097 --> 00:37:36,097
Of course.
736
00:37:36,175 --> 00:37:37,736
[engine starts]
737
00:37:37,813 --> 00:37:39,773
♪ quiet, ambient music ♪
738
00:37:39,850 --> 00:37:41,886
♪ ♪ ♪
739
00:37:45,688 --> 00:37:47,710
[Trevor] You better not be
heading for the Switch.
740
00:37:47,787 --> 00:37:48,986
[Stacey]
It's my day!
741
00:37:49,063 --> 00:37:51,231
[Vik] Helen!
What did you do with my razor?
742
00:37:51,308 --> 00:37:52,409
- [kids running]
- [Helen] Hey, knock it off.
743
00:37:52,476 --> 00:37:53,564
What?
744
00:37:53,641 --> 00:37:55,939
[Vik] Razor!
It doesn't have a blade.
745
00:37:56,016 --> 00:37:58,640
Well, I threw it away.
It was dull. Oh, hi.
746
00:37:58,717 --> 00:38:01,205
[Vik] It was only dull because
you shaved your legs with it!
747
00:38:01,282 --> 00:38:04,429
There's more of them
in the top, right-hand drawer.
748
00:38:04,902 --> 00:38:06,918
How was the lesson?
749
00:38:06,995 --> 00:38:09,118
- Can I talk to you?
- Yeah, sure.
750
00:38:09,228 --> 00:38:11,547
[Trevor] You'd lose your mind
if I went into your room!
751
00:38:11,624 --> 00:38:13,116
[Stacey] I didn't go
into your room!
752
00:38:13,193 --> 00:38:15,897
I swear to God,
if you guys don't stop...
753
00:38:15,974 --> 00:38:17,369
You and Vik need
to work with me.
754
00:38:17,446 --> 00:38:19,360
- Work with you?
- I am trying
755
00:38:19,488 --> 00:38:20,813
so hard.
756
00:38:21,167 --> 00:38:22,320
I've upended my life
757
00:38:22,397 --> 00:38:24,158
to follow you here
for Vik's work,
758
00:38:24,235 --> 00:38:25,736
- to be near my kids.
- Yeah, me too.
759
00:38:25,813 --> 00:38:27,117
And you guys
won't meet me halfway.
760
00:38:27,184 --> 00:38:29,056
I don't... What?
761
00:38:29,147 --> 00:38:30,971
This is supposed to be
a partnership, Helen.
762
00:38:31,048 --> 00:38:33,057
We are co-parenting,
and right now,
763
00:38:33,134 --> 00:38:35,134
I am the only one
extending myself.
764
00:38:35,683 --> 00:38:38,391
You won't encourage
the kids to call back.
765
00:38:38,874 --> 00:38:40,905
You roll over my visitation.
766
00:38:40,982 --> 00:38:44,066
Vik is incredibly competitive
with the kids.
767
00:38:44,143 --> 00:38:46,836
I mean, for fuck's sake,
Helen, they are my children.
768
00:38:46,972 --> 00:38:48,354
Not his.
769
00:38:48,980 --> 00:38:51,485
You just need to tell him
to back the fuck up.
770
00:38:51,615 --> 00:38:53,104
He's dying.
771
00:38:56,688 --> 00:38:58,531
Vik has cancer,
772
00:38:59,439 --> 00:39:03,095
and he's going
to die soon, so...
773
00:39:05,065 --> 00:39:06,274
maybe you'll forgive us
774
00:39:06,351 --> 00:39:08,262
if we aren't
at our best right now.
775
00:39:11,198 --> 00:39:12,774
What kind of cancer?
776
00:39:12,851 --> 00:39:14,977
Does it matter?
777
00:39:16,204 --> 00:39:17,611
The kids know?
778
00:39:21,767 --> 00:39:23,321
Oh, God.
779
00:39:24,939 --> 00:39:26,617
You should have told me.
780
00:39:27,189 --> 00:39:28,969
Why would I
have told you?
781
00:39:29,189 --> 00:39:30,580
Because we're friends.
782
00:39:30,657 --> 00:39:32,345
No, we're not.
783
00:39:36,096 --> 00:39:37,803
Jesus, Helen, I...
784
00:39:38,029 --> 00:39:39,520
I'm so sorry.
785
00:39:41,213 --> 00:39:42,671
Look, I-if there's
anything you need,
786
00:39:42,748 --> 00:39:43,748
anything I can do...
787
00:39:43,821 --> 00:39:45,184
I-I can take the kids.
788
00:39:45,261 --> 00:39:47,126
You and Vik
can have some time.
789
00:39:48,063 --> 00:39:50,220
Oh, God, Helen, I...
790
00:39:52,688 --> 00:39:53,822
Sorry. I can also...
791
00:39:53,899 --> 00:39:56,039
I can just give
you guys some space.
792
00:39:56,182 --> 00:39:57,678
That would be great.
793
00:39:59,558 --> 00:40:00,900
Sure.
794
00:40:02,143 --> 00:40:03,338
Thank you.
795
00:40:22,521 --> 00:40:23,648
[Anton]
Hey.
796
00:40:23,725 --> 00:40:25,304
What the fuck?
797
00:40:25,825 --> 00:40:28,124
Sorry. Your-your door was open.
798
00:40:28,201 --> 00:40:30,155
Did I scare you?
799
00:40:31,755 --> 00:40:33,095
[sighs]
No.
800
00:40:34,138 --> 00:40:35,313
It's the hoodie, right?
801
00:40:35,390 --> 00:40:36,940
The hoodie makes me
seem threatening.
802
00:40:37,017 --> 00:40:38,017
Better?
803
00:40:38,239 --> 00:40:39,745
That's not funny.
804
00:40:39,919 --> 00:40:41,095
Yeah, it is.
805
00:40:49,386 --> 00:40:51,886
Well, now that you've
made yourself at home...
806
00:40:52,519 --> 00:40:54,337
want to tell me why you're here?
807
00:40:55,189 --> 00:40:57,178
How do you even
know where I live?
808
00:40:57,284 --> 00:40:59,368
Read through my mom's
personnel files.
809
00:40:59,667 --> 00:41:01,431
I've seen all your pay stubs.
810
00:41:03,439 --> 00:41:06,220
Well, then you should have known
not to eat all my prosciutto.
811
00:41:06,511 --> 00:41:09,040
I'm playing.
I-I White-Paged you, actually.
812
00:41:09,628 --> 00:41:11,032
It's that easy, huh?
813
00:41:11,128 --> 00:41:12,387
That's disturbing.
814
00:41:12,464 --> 00:41:14,212
Yeah, I think you
can get it blocked.
815
00:41:18,646 --> 00:41:20,556
I need your thoughts.
816
00:41:22,066 --> 00:41:23,652
Okay. What about?
817
00:41:23,729 --> 00:41:25,798
On whether or not
I should join the Marines.
818
00:41:25,875 --> 00:41:27,019
What?
819
00:41:27,964 --> 00:41:29,101
What about college?
820
00:41:29,178 --> 00:41:31,582
I need to be my own man,
Mr. Solloway.
821
00:41:31,659 --> 00:41:32,934
I-I can't keep
letting my parents
822
00:41:33,001 --> 00:41:34,440
push me around like this.
823
00:41:34,517 --> 00:41:35,899
It's not right.
824
00:41:37,698 --> 00:41:38,932
Look, I know you and my mom
825
00:41:39,009 --> 00:41:41,001
have something
going on right now.
826
00:41:42,116 --> 00:41:43,853
She can be a real bully.
827
00:41:44,120 --> 00:41:45,198
You should know that.
828
00:41:45,275 --> 00:41:47,282
Yeah, I do know that, Anton.
829
00:41:49,230 --> 00:41:52,354
I also know that she loves you
like a crazy person,
830
00:41:52,431 --> 00:41:54,648
and right now she's having
a hard time letting you go.
831
00:41:54,725 --> 00:41:56,190
And that's normal.
That's not her.
832
00:41:56,267 --> 00:41:58,211
That's just what happens
when the time comes
833
00:41:58,288 --> 00:42:00,126
for kids to
flee the nest.
834
00:42:00,521 --> 00:42:03,178
You'd really rather go to war
than go to college?
835
00:42:03,292 --> 00:42:06,080
Well, they said the chances
of me seeing combat are slim.
836
00:42:06,157 --> 00:42:07,325
Yeah, they're lying.
837
00:42:07,402 --> 00:42:08,482
This country is pretty much
838
00:42:08,558 --> 00:42:11,540
at war somewhere
all the time.
839
00:42:11,813 --> 00:42:14,678
Well, any way I go,
840
00:42:14,847 --> 00:42:17,262
one of them is going
to be disappointed.
841
00:42:20,188 --> 00:42:22,762
Look, you came here.
You want my advice, right?
842
00:42:25,646 --> 00:42:27,678
I really think
you need to see Princeton.
843
00:42:27,870 --> 00:42:29,345
Just see it. Just...
844
00:42:29,441 --> 00:42:31,149
spend some time there.
845
00:42:31,338 --> 00:42:33,565
You have this idea in your head
that it's a terrible place.
846
00:42:33,632 --> 00:42:35,669
Maybe it is,
but maybe you'd like it.
847
00:42:35,761 --> 00:42:37,242
Well, how am I supposed
to pull that off?
848
00:42:37,309 --> 00:42:38,787
It's all the way
across the country.
849
00:42:38,941 --> 00:42:40,112
Your mom will take you there.
850
00:42:40,189 --> 00:42:41,301
No, she won't.
851
00:42:41,378 --> 00:42:43,307
- How do you know?
- I just do.
852
00:42:43,384 --> 00:42:44,946
Have you asked her?
853
00:42:48,165 --> 00:42:49,907
How did you get here?
You drive?
854
00:42:49,984 --> 00:42:51,924
No, I Ubered.
I never get to drive.
855
00:42:52,001 --> 00:42:53,571
I don't have a fucking car.
856
00:42:53,761 --> 00:42:55,028
Okay. Let's go.
857
00:42:55,105 --> 00:42:56,065
Where are we going?
858
00:42:56,142 --> 00:42:57,315
To talk to your mom.
859
00:42:57,392 --> 00:42:58,848
No. I just got here.
860
00:42:58,925 --> 00:43:00,075
She'll kill me
if she finds out
861
00:43:00,142 --> 00:43:01,351
- I came to you.
- Come on.
862
00:43:01,428 --> 00:43:02,881
I'll let you drive.
863
00:43:03,313 --> 00:43:04,804
Down the PCH.
864
00:43:20,314 --> 00:43:23,899
[Janelle] Why can't you rebel
like a normal kid?
865
00:43:24,823 --> 00:43:27,470
Go to Europe for a year.
Date a white girl.
866
00:43:27,613 --> 00:43:29,239
You really want to fuck
with me and your dad?
867
00:43:29,306 --> 00:43:32,112
Do the Peace Corps in some
awful third-world place.
868
00:43:32,189 --> 00:43:34,190
Don't join the fucking Army.
869
00:43:34,267 --> 00:43:36,713
- Marines.
- Boy, I will kill you.
870
00:43:36,790 --> 00:43:38,982
Look, if I go to the Marines,
I won't be a victim.
871
00:43:39,059 --> 00:43:40,315
What are you
talking about?
872
00:43:40,392 --> 00:43:42,315
How is shooting
other brown people
873
00:43:42,392 --> 00:43:44,731
gonna give you agency?
Hear yourself.
874
00:43:44,808 --> 00:43:46,153
No, hear yourself.
875
00:43:46,230 --> 00:43:48,595
It is always about race
and agency with you.
876
00:43:48,777 --> 00:43:50,153
What nine-year-old has
877
00:43:50,230 --> 00:43:51,963
a Black Revolutionary-themed
birthday party?
878
00:43:52,040 --> 00:43:53,901
Fucking Marcus Garvey
on the chocolate cake?
879
00:43:53,978 --> 00:43:55,153
Malcolm X napkins?
880
00:43:55,230 --> 00:43:57,195
- Like, who does that?
- They make those?
881
00:43:57,272 --> 00:43:59,410
Yes. This is what I've had
to deal with my whole life.
882
00:43:59,487 --> 00:44:01,227
- To protect you.
- Look, if I have a target
883
00:44:01,304 --> 00:44:03,212
on my back,
why shouldn't I sign up?
884
00:44:03,552 --> 00:44:05,399
At least then
I'll have a gun.
885
00:44:07,103 --> 00:44:09,235
- What are you doing here?
- Your mother called.
886
00:44:09,472 --> 00:44:11,350
She didn't know where you went.
887
00:44:11,427 --> 00:44:13,752
You can't disappear without
telling her where you're going.
888
00:44:13,829 --> 00:44:15,354
You know that.
She worries.
889
00:44:15,431 --> 00:44:17,220
Why? I'm 19 years old.
890
00:44:17,298 --> 00:44:18,495
Tell him.
891
00:44:18,597 --> 00:44:19,605
Go on.
892
00:44:19,688 --> 00:44:20,982
You're such an adult.
Tell him.
893
00:44:21,059 --> 00:44:22,470
Tell him
what you did.
894
00:44:23,756 --> 00:44:25,773
I talked to a recruiter
about joining the Marines.
895
00:44:25,850 --> 00:44:26,973
You did what?
896
00:44:27,050 --> 00:44:28,481
[clears throat]
Uh...
897
00:44:28,558 --> 00:44:29,762
Hi.
898
00:44:29,839 --> 00:44:31,940
Does this motherfucker
live here now?
899
00:44:32,017 --> 00:44:34,104
Look, I-I know
it's not my place...
900
00:44:34,181 --> 00:44:35,486
Oh, you're damn right.
901
00:44:35,563 --> 00:44:36,982
But your kid came to my house
902
00:44:37,059 --> 00:44:38,886
looking for help, so...
903
00:44:39,183 --> 00:44:41,231
I thought maybe we could all
just talk about it.
904
00:44:41,308 --> 00:44:43,088
Who the fuck does
your boyfriend think he is?
905
00:44:43,165 --> 00:44:44,356
He's not my boyfriend.
906
00:44:44,433 --> 00:44:45,922
Reason he wants
to join the Marines
907
00:44:45,999 --> 00:44:48,246
is because he can't
make a decision
908
00:44:48,323 --> 00:44:49,609
about this Princeton thing
909
00:44:49,686 --> 00:44:53,056
because he is terrified
of hurting one of you.
910
00:44:53,566 --> 00:44:55,237
So, what I suggested
was that
911
00:44:55,314 --> 00:44:57,274
somebody should just
take him there.
912
00:44:57,480 --> 00:44:59,399
Let him see the school,
see if he likes it,
913
00:44:59,476 --> 00:45:00,648
make his own decision.
914
00:45:00,725 --> 00:45:01,945
Sounds reasonable to me.
915
00:45:02,022 --> 00:45:03,229
If I go, it'd have to be
916
00:45:03,306 --> 00:45:04,736
- this week.
- Why?
917
00:45:04,813 --> 00:45:07,665
Because I scheduled
to take the GED next Monday.
918
00:45:08,402 --> 00:45:10,973
Anton... in order
to take the GED,
919
00:45:11,050 --> 00:45:12,776
you have to drop out
of high school.
920
00:45:12,853 --> 00:45:15,103
I can't join the Marines
without it.
921
00:45:15,253 --> 00:45:16,945
- Oh, no.
- You have school this week.
922
00:45:17,022 --> 00:45:19,153
Hell no. You're not joining
the fucking military.
923
00:45:19,230 --> 00:45:20,653
Look, I can miss
a couple classes.
924
00:45:20,730 --> 00:45:22,413
I already took these
fucking classes anyway.
925
00:45:22,480 --> 00:45:23,957
Boy, don't talk like that
to your mother.
926
00:45:24,024 --> 00:45:25,325
Why is it,
whenever you're mad at me,
927
00:45:25,392 --> 00:45:26,616
you act like
you're still her man?
928
00:45:26,683 --> 00:45:28,112
- You want to live?
- Oh, Jesus.
929
00:45:28,189 --> 00:45:29,798
Not another word.
930
00:45:29,938 --> 00:45:31,567
Look, Carl, my friend...
931
00:45:31,644 --> 00:45:33,653
Man, why are you
all up in my family?
932
00:45:33,730 --> 00:45:35,056
You don't have your own?
933
00:45:35,205 --> 00:45:36,447
Yeah, I do.
934
00:45:36,524 --> 00:45:38,579
Then what the fuck
you doing here?
935
00:45:39,589 --> 00:45:41,290
Anton, go to your room.
936
00:45:41,504 --> 00:45:42,954
Carl, go home.
937
00:45:43,031 --> 00:45:45,645
Let's... let's just
sleep on this, okay?
938
00:45:45,722 --> 00:45:47,242
We don't have to make
any decisions tonight.
939
00:45:47,309 --> 00:45:48,648
We don't have to do anything.
940
00:45:48,725 --> 00:45:50,694
- It's my decision.
- Okay.
941
00:45:50,771 --> 00:45:53,096
[sighs] If you want
to go to the school,
942
00:45:53,173 --> 00:45:55,195
I'll take you
this week. I promise.
943
00:45:55,272 --> 00:45:56,846
Janelle, what about
the board meeting?
944
00:45:56,923 --> 00:45:58,075
This is more important.
945
00:45:58,152 --> 00:45:59,252
[Carl]
Janelle, hold up.
946
00:45:59,329 --> 00:46:00,596
We talked about
sending him
947
00:46:00,673 --> 00:46:03,121
to a state school...
Public education.
948
00:46:03,198 --> 00:46:04,176
We agreed on that
949
00:46:04,253 --> 00:46:05,155
when he was a baby.
950
00:46:05,232 --> 00:46:07,735
- Things have changed, Carl.
- No, you've changed.
951
00:46:07,812 --> 00:46:09,754
- Dad, what if I want to go?
- Anton, just be quiet.
952
00:46:09,821 --> 00:46:11,168
Just because you
couldn't make it there
953
00:46:11,235 --> 00:46:12,210
doesn't mean I can't.
954
00:46:12,287 --> 00:46:13,447
[Janelle]
Carl!
955
00:46:13,524 --> 00:46:14,646
Hey.
956
00:46:14,730 --> 00:46:16,569
[both panting]
957
00:46:16,646 --> 00:46:18,234
You gonna hit me?
958
00:46:18,579 --> 00:46:19,823
Hit me.
959
00:46:20,919 --> 00:46:22,545
Go ahead.
960
00:46:24,246 --> 00:46:25,371
Carl.
961
00:46:31,688 --> 00:46:33,945
So you a man now.
962
00:46:35,569 --> 00:46:37,559
Okay, be a man.
963
00:46:40,619 --> 00:46:42,469
Go see what it's like.
964
00:46:46,234 --> 00:46:48,057
[door opens]
965
00:46:48,282 --> 00:46:49,397
[door closes]
966
00:46:53,521 --> 00:46:55,481
♪ quiet, atmospheric music ♪
967
00:46:55,558 --> 00:46:57,636
♪ ♪ ♪
968
00:47:05,938 --> 00:47:07,952
[line rings]
969
00:47:08,029 --> 00:47:09,895
Hi. It's Whitney.
Leave a message.
970
00:47:09,972 --> 00:47:11,986
- [phone beeps]
- Hey, Whit, it's Dad.
971
00:47:12,063 --> 00:47:13,736
Uh, it's super late
where you are.
972
00:47:13,813 --> 00:47:15,767
You're probably asleep,
but I just, uh...
973
00:47:15,844 --> 00:47:17,184
I was just calling to say hi.
974
00:47:17,261 --> 00:47:20,334
Mom keeps me informed
about most things, but, um...
975
00:47:20,922 --> 00:47:22,842
good to hear from you
once in a while.
976
00:47:22,980 --> 00:47:24,709
It's been a while.
977
00:47:25,414 --> 00:47:26,694
Okay. Love you.
978
00:47:26,771 --> 00:47:28,201
Call me if you can.
979
00:47:28,278 --> 00:47:30,236
If you feel like it. Bye.
980
00:47:44,230 --> 00:47:46,345
[knocking at door]
981
00:47:57,774 --> 00:48:00,345
- Hey.
- Hey.
982
00:48:02,755 --> 00:48:04,179
Can I come in?
983
00:48:04,256 --> 00:48:05,563
Of course.
984
00:48:10,480 --> 00:48:11,605
It's nice.
985
00:48:11,688 --> 00:48:13,189
Thanks.
986
00:48:13,272 --> 00:48:14,731
You renting?
987
00:48:14,808 --> 00:48:16,147
Yeah.
988
00:48:16,230 --> 00:48:17,355
Thank God.
989
00:48:17,439 --> 00:48:19,444
How did you find me?
990
00:48:19,521 --> 00:48:22,611
Um, I made Anton
tell me where you live.
991
00:48:22,688 --> 00:48:24,357
What, and you drove
all the way up here
992
00:48:24,434 --> 00:48:25,773
in the middle
of the night?
993
00:48:25,850 --> 00:48:28,399
You didn't call
or text or...?
994
00:48:28,476 --> 00:48:29,903
Should I go?
995
00:48:29,980 --> 00:48:31,648
No, no, please, no.
996
00:48:31,725 --> 00:48:33,646
Sit down.
997
00:48:33,730 --> 00:48:36,773
Can I get you anything?
I... I've got whiskey.
998
00:48:36,850 --> 00:48:40,078
You can, but let me just
say something first.
999
00:48:40,155 --> 00:48:41,276
[sighs]
1000
00:48:41,353 --> 00:48:44,259
Thank you for what you did.
1001
00:48:44,719 --> 00:48:46,070
I didn't do anything.
1002
00:48:46,147 --> 00:48:47,494
No, you did.
1003
00:48:47,571 --> 00:48:49,220
You stood up for my son.
1004
00:48:49,680 --> 00:48:51,615
That was crazy earlier.
1005
00:48:51,735 --> 00:48:54,224
Well, we've all been there.
1006
00:48:56,480 --> 00:48:58,554
We've been, uh...
1007
00:48:58,977 --> 00:49:01,056
divorced for so long,
1008
00:49:01,133 --> 00:49:03,512
you'd think we'd be
over it by now,
1009
00:49:03,633 --> 00:49:05,970
figured out a way
to forgive each other,
1010
00:49:06,235 --> 00:49:08,053
find some peace.
1011
00:49:08,453 --> 00:49:10,592
But somehow...
1012
00:49:11,703 --> 00:49:13,967
They say time
heals all wounds,
1013
00:49:14,044 --> 00:49:15,803
but sometimes it doesn't.
1014
00:49:17,071 --> 00:49:18,278
No, it doesn't.
1015
00:49:18,355 --> 00:49:20,429
It just makes things worse.
1016
00:49:21,985 --> 00:49:24,201
Anyway, I just...
1017
00:49:26,397 --> 00:49:28,898
Of course he should have
seen the damn school.
1018
00:49:28,975 --> 00:49:30,761
I should have taken him.
1019
00:49:32,855 --> 00:49:34,720
I'm gonna take him this week.
1020
00:49:35,969 --> 00:49:37,709
What about the board meeting?
1021
00:49:37,786 --> 00:49:39,329
What about it?
1022
00:49:39,406 --> 00:49:41,595
If they fire me, they fire me.
1023
00:49:42,085 --> 00:49:43,942
[chuckles]
1024
00:49:44,149 --> 00:49:46,137
Look, what if I take him?
1025
00:49:47,972 --> 00:49:49,305
You?
1026
00:49:49,438 --> 00:49:50,687
I'm the neutral party.
1027
00:49:50,764 --> 00:49:53,126
I can take him there,
introduce him to my friend.
1028
00:49:53,203 --> 00:49:54,864
He can observe a class.
1029
00:49:55,022 --> 00:49:57,429
Then we come back,
and he can make his decision.
1030
00:49:58,156 --> 00:49:59,636
You'd do that?
1031
00:49:59,922 --> 00:50:01,369
I'd be happy to do it.
1032
00:50:01,446 --> 00:50:02,802
If it's okay with you.
1033
00:50:02,879 --> 00:50:05,082
And Carl, of course.
1034
00:50:05,438 --> 00:50:07,001
If it's a choice between this
1035
00:50:07,078 --> 00:50:08,773
and the goddamn Marines,
who knows?
1036
00:50:08,850 --> 00:50:10,365
Maybe he would.
1037
00:50:10,972 --> 00:50:12,546
He should go.
1038
00:50:19,439 --> 00:50:22,154
Why are you doing this, Noah?
1039
00:50:23,399 --> 00:50:25,845
You really think my son
is that brilliant?
1040
00:50:27,967 --> 00:50:29,818
Yeah, I do.
1041
00:50:30,789 --> 00:50:32,686
But I'm not doing it for him.
1042
00:50:34,022 --> 00:50:35,940
♪ Quiet, ambient music ♪
1043
00:50:36,017 --> 00:50:37,845
♪ ♪ ♪
1044
00:50:47,897 --> 00:50:49,563
Mmm.
1045
00:50:51,737 --> 00:50:53,737
[panting]
1046
00:51:04,022 --> 00:51:05,938
[grunting]
1047
00:51:14,983 --> 00:51:16,639
[chuckling]
1048
00:51:17,442 --> 00:51:18,632
Does it turn you on
1049
00:51:18,709 --> 00:51:19,992
- that I'm your boss?
- Oh, Jesus.
1050
00:51:20,059 --> 00:51:22,097
- Janelle, shut the fuck up.
- [Janelle chuckling]
1051
00:51:25,563 --> 00:51:27,771
[moaning]
1052
00:51:38,480 --> 00:51:40,959
Oh, my. Oh, my.
1053
00:51:41,063 --> 00:51:43,274
[chuckling]
Oh, my God.
1054
00:51:43,351 --> 00:51:45,063
[panting]
1055
00:51:45,147 --> 00:51:46,605
Oh, my.
1056
00:51:47,646 --> 00:51:49,761
[chuckling]
1057
00:51:53,105 --> 00:51:55,345
[both panting]
1058
00:51:56,314 --> 00:51:58,147
Oh, fuck.
1059
00:52:08,938 --> 00:52:10,486
Excuse me.
Can you tell me
1060
00:52:10,563 --> 00:52:12,444
what the connecting gate
to New York is?
1061
00:52:12,521 --> 00:52:13,815
We don't have
that information.
1062
00:52:13,892 --> 00:52:15,573
You'll have to check in
on the ground.
1063
00:52:15,650 --> 00:52:17,270
Okay, thanks.
1064
00:52:18,321 --> 00:52:19,778
Hey.
1065
00:52:19,914 --> 00:52:21,653
Because we were
delayed taking off,
1066
00:52:21,730 --> 00:52:23,530
we're gonna have to book it
when we hit the ground
1067
00:52:23,597 --> 00:52:24,984
to make our
connection, okay?
1068
00:52:25,061 --> 00:52:26,553
Should've got a direct flight.
1069
00:52:27,480 --> 00:52:29,117
Yeah, well, your mother
booked this yesterday.
1070
00:52:29,184 --> 00:52:31,220
We were lucky to get
any flight at all.
1071
00:52:32,589 --> 00:52:34,204
Did you talk to your dad?
1072
00:52:34,829 --> 00:52:36,610
He won't call me back.
1073
00:52:42,272 --> 00:52:44,023
You're listening to my book?
1074
00:52:44,100 --> 00:52:45,189
Yeah.
1075
00:52:45,508 --> 00:52:47,345
It's pretty good, actually.
1076
00:52:48,126 --> 00:52:49,492
Thanks.
1077
00:52:50,938 --> 00:52:53,470
[indistinct chatter]
1078
00:52:53,868 --> 00:52:55,420
What?
1079
00:52:55,497 --> 00:52:56,928
That's weird.
1080
00:52:59,681 --> 00:53:00,888
Yo.
1081
00:53:05,055 --> 00:53:06,717
Hi.
1082
00:53:06,824 --> 00:53:09,685
Uh, we missed our connecting
flight to New York, so...
1083
00:53:09,762 --> 00:53:10,891
Uh, no.
1084
00:53:11,867 --> 00:53:13,153
"No"?
1085
00:53:13,230 --> 00:53:16,115
No, we have no more flights
to New York today.
1086
00:53:16,355 --> 00:53:18,204
What about the shuttle?
1087
00:53:18,281 --> 00:53:20,158
They're all booked.
[sighs]
1088
00:53:20,235 --> 00:53:22,494
We've had delays all day
because of the wind.
1089
00:53:22,571 --> 00:53:23,546
What about standby?
1090
00:53:23,623 --> 00:53:25,467
Good luck with standby.
1091
00:53:25,571 --> 00:53:27,193
Come on, is there anything
you can do to help?
1092
00:53:27,260 --> 00:53:30,959
Well, let me see
if I can switch you to...
1093
00:53:31,036 --> 00:53:32,082
Ah.
1094
00:53:32,625 --> 00:53:34,619
Tomorrow night, 8:23.
1095
00:53:34,696 --> 00:53:36,232
No, we have to get
to New York tonight.
1096
00:53:36,309 --> 00:53:38,012
Then rent a car.
1097
00:53:45,730 --> 00:53:47,648
They're gonna
run out of cars.
1098
00:53:47,725 --> 00:53:50,053
[cell phone ringing]
1099
00:53:53,332 --> 00:53:54,998
Cole?
1100
00:53:58,303 --> 00:53:59,813
Wait.
1101
00:54:01,214 --> 00:54:02,620
Wait. Cole, slow down.
1102
00:54:02,697 --> 00:54:04,694
What do you mean?
1103
00:54:04,771 --> 00:54:06,773
[Anton]
So, who's coming to get us?
1104
00:54:06,850 --> 00:54:08,554
[Noah]
An old friend.
1105
00:54:09,521 --> 00:54:11,320
[horn honks]
1106
00:54:11,397 --> 00:54:14,149
♪ tense, atmospheric music ♪
1107
00:54:14,226 --> 00:54:16,886
♪ ♪ ♪
1108
00:54:21,314 --> 00:54:24,149
[announcer over P.A.] Welcome to
O'Hare International Airport.
1109
00:54:24,226 --> 00:54:25,857
Loading zones
for rideshare services
1110
00:54:25,934 --> 00:54:27,648
are located on the upper level
1111
00:54:27,725 --> 00:54:30,318
of terminals one,
three and four.
1112
00:54:44,251 --> 00:54:45,928
I'm sure she's fine.
1113
00:54:47,305 --> 00:54:49,255
That makes one of us.
1114
00:54:57,547 --> 00:54:59,329
♪ Rhythmic, atmospheric music ♪
1115
00:54:59,563 --> 00:55:01,678
♪ ♪ ♪
76334
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