Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:14,713 --> 00:00:16,981
No. It can't be.
2
00:00:31,862 --> 00:00:33,932
? Ring around the Rosie ?
3
00:00:33,999 --> 00:00:36,167
? Pocket full of posies ?
4
00:00:36,234 --> 00:00:41,039
? Ashes, ashes, we all fall down ?
5
00:00:41,106 --> 00:00:45,563
Chicken pox!
6
00:00:52,488 --> 00:00:56,847
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
7
00:00:57,956 --> 00:00:59,357
Lost another one.
8
00:00:59,425 --> 00:01:01,160
Half the school is out with chicken pox.
9
00:01:01,226 --> 00:01:02,761
Ugh. It's such an ugly virus.
10
00:01:02,827 --> 00:01:04,496
Yeah, it makes you feel horrible.
11
00:01:04,562 --> 00:01:06,831
No, I mean, it literally
makes you look ugly.
12
00:01:06,898 --> 00:01:08,299
That's a beautiful dress.
13
00:01:08,366 --> 00:01:09,700
What's the occasion?
14
00:01:09,768 --> 00:01:11,369
Oh, nothing.
15
00:01:11,435 --> 00:01:14,238
I'm just asking Hot Dad out today.
16
00:01:14,306 --> 00:01:15,841
I'm sorry, what?
17
00:01:15,907 --> 00:01:17,109
I'm asking Hot Dad out.
18
00:01:17,175 --> 00:01:18,711
Holy shit!
19
00:01:18,776 --> 00:01:20,444
Whoa, whoa, careful!
That's not Mary Louise.
20
00:01:20,512 --> 00:01:22,147
That's a pod person.
21
00:01:22,214 --> 00:01:23,748
Since he asked me
to dance at the hoedown,
22
00:01:23,815 --> 00:01:25,750
I realized he likes me,
23
00:01:25,818 --> 00:01:26,852
and I like him,
24
00:01:26,919 --> 00:01:29,054
so why not just ask him out?
25
00:01:30,521 --> 00:01:31,923
My little baby girl's grown up.
26
00:01:31,991 --> 00:01:34,393
It is way too high-pitched
in here for me.
27
00:01:34,458 --> 00:01:36,327
I'm happy for you, Mary Louise.
28
00:01:36,395 --> 00:01:39,331
Hit that fat D for me.
29
00:01:39,396 --> 00:01:41,866
Ugh. She's such a dude.
30
00:01:44,402 --> 00:01:46,338
And that's the scientific method.
31
00:01:46,404 --> 00:01:48,138
So let's review.
32
00:01:48,205 --> 00:01:51,542
If I say that I think if
I wear this tube top to a bar,
33
00:01:51,610 --> 00:01:55,247
men will buy me drinks, what is that?
34
00:01:55,313 --> 00:01:57,048
- Gary?
- It's a hypothesis,
35
00:01:57,116 --> 00:01:59,952
because you think it's true,
but you haven't proven it yet.
36
00:02:00,018 --> 00:02:01,687
Excellent.
37
00:02:01,753 --> 00:02:03,587
But if I tell you that
I've literally gone to hundreds
38
00:02:03,654 --> 00:02:05,657
of bars wearing this top,
and every time,
39
00:02:05,724 --> 00:02:08,961
a man has bought me a drink,
what does my hypothesis become?
40
00:02:10,528 --> 00:02:12,396
- Jonah?
- A theory,
41
00:02:12,463 --> 00:02:14,999
because you've proven it
over multiple trials.
42
00:02:15,066 --> 00:02:16,635
Very good.
43
00:02:16,701 --> 00:02:19,337
Now, is there a way
for my drink-generating tube top
44
00:02:19,404 --> 00:02:21,640
to become a scientific law?
45
00:02:25,377 --> 00:02:27,312
Nobody? Okay. Well, it's time for gym.
46
00:02:27,379 --> 00:02:29,314
So we'll get that answer later today.
47
00:02:29,380 --> 00:02:31,116
Oh, and tell Coach Bozy
48
00:02:31,183 --> 00:02:33,385
that his short shorts leave
nothing to the imagination,
49
00:02:33,451 --> 00:02:35,454
and thank you.
50
00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:37,189
- Ms. Snap?
- Hey, Lily.
51
00:02:37,254 --> 00:02:39,057
Your sweater is so cute.
52
00:02:39,123 --> 00:02:40,424
Can I borrow it sometime?
53
00:02:40,492 --> 00:02:42,928
How come you never call on me?
54
00:02:42,994 --> 00:02:44,262
Oh, I'm sorry.
55
00:02:44,330 --> 00:02:45,998
I didn't see you raising your hand.
56
00:02:46,064 --> 00:02:47,987
It's probably because
your arms are so thin.
57
00:02:48,066 --> 00:02:49,867
Look! Twins!
58
00:02:49,933 --> 00:02:52,437
But I always raise my hand
during science,
59
00:02:52,503 --> 00:02:55,072
and you never pick me
or any of the girls.
60
00:02:55,140 --> 00:02:57,409
You treat the boys better than us.
61
00:02:57,474 --> 00:02:59,144
That's ridiculous, Lily.
62
00:02:59,210 --> 00:03:02,213
Just today I helped Melissa K.
set up her makeup vlog.
63
00:03:02,281 --> 00:03:04,148
So your hypothesis is false.
64
00:03:05,616 --> 00:03:06,617
Hey, dude.
65
00:03:06,685 --> 00:03:07,785
Can I borrow your broom?
66
00:03:07,853 --> 00:03:09,587
I just smashed a cockroach.
67
00:03:09,653 --> 00:03:11,188
I wanted to leave it there
to send a message
68
00:03:11,255 --> 00:03:14,058
to the other cockroaches,
but Pearson said I have to clean it up.
69
00:03:14,124 --> 00:03:15,401
Oh, my...
70
00:03:15,479 --> 00:03:16,612
What's wrong?
71
00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:18,147
You wouldn't understand.
72
00:03:18,215 --> 00:03:19,817
It's a girl thing.
73
00:03:19,884 --> 00:03:23,421
Well, I do possess a vagina, so...
74
00:03:23,486 --> 00:03:25,222
A group of my sorority sisters,
75
00:03:25,288 --> 00:03:26,689
the ones I actually liked,
76
00:03:26,757 --> 00:03:28,891
took a reunion trip to Mexico
without me.
77
00:03:28,959 --> 00:03:30,027
How do you know?
78
00:03:30,093 --> 00:03:31,829
Uh, Facebook. Hello?
79
00:03:31,895 --> 00:03:34,598
They didn't even have the decency
to make the album private.
80
00:03:34,664 --> 00:03:36,299
Why wouldn't they invite me?
81
00:03:36,366 --> 00:03:38,602
I don't know. You should
call them up and ask them.
82
00:03:38,669 --> 00:03:40,537
- I can't do that.
- Why not?
83
00:03:40,604 --> 00:03:43,406
Because that would make me look crazy.
84
00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:44,942
How could they do this to me?
85
00:03:45,008 --> 00:03:46,943
I told you. Call them up and ask them.
86
00:03:47,009 --> 00:03:48,812
You're doing the same thing
that Jacob used to do.
87
00:03:48,878 --> 00:03:50,747
Stop trying to fix the situation!
88
00:03:50,814 --> 00:03:52,883
God, Deb, this is exactly why
I don't talk to you
89
00:03:52,949 --> 00:03:54,818
about these things!
90
00:03:54,884 --> 00:03:56,453
Okay.
91
00:03:58,754 --> 00:04:00,022
So where's the broom?
92
00:04:00,090 --> 00:04:01,658
Where it always is...
93
00:04:01,724 --> 00:04:03,826
in the closet in between
the Dustbuster and the Swiffer.
94
00:04:03,894 --> 00:04:06,096
How many times do I have to tell you?
95
00:04:07,965 --> 00:04:11,901
Laura, you know there's
no gum allowed in school, right?
96
00:04:11,968 --> 00:04:14,237
I know. That's why I put it in my hair.
97
00:04:14,303 --> 00:04:16,138
I'll have to get some peanut butter.
98
00:04:16,206 --> 00:04:17,540
This is gonna take hours.
99
00:04:18,942 --> 00:04:20,009
Hey.
100
00:04:20,076 --> 00:04:22,546
I'm a little early. You ready for me?
101
00:04:38,696 --> 00:04:41,165
Oh, I'm ready, Hot Daddy.
102
00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:44,634
Where is everyone?
103
00:04:44,701 --> 00:04:47,304
Half the class is out sick
with the chicken pox.
104
00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:49,706
But don't worry... the kids here
have already had it,
105
00:04:49,773 --> 00:04:51,175
so you're safe.
106
00:04:51,242 --> 00:04:53,242
I'm not worried.
Blake and I already got it
107
00:04:53,310 --> 00:04:54,576
when he was in kindergarten.
108
00:04:54,644 --> 00:04:55,978
It was actually kind of nice.
109
00:04:56,045 --> 00:04:58,981
We took turns taking care of each other.
110
00:04:59,048 --> 00:05:01,484
You want me to pass out
those worksheets?
111
00:05:03,254 --> 00:05:04,855
No.
112
00:05:04,922 --> 00:05:08,725
I want you to go out tonight
113
00:05:08,791 --> 00:05:11,093
with me on a date
114
00:05:11,161 --> 00:05:13,197
with you tonight.
115
00:05:17,867 --> 00:05:20,271
I would really like that.
116
00:05:20,336 --> 00:05:22,605
Great. It's a date.
117
00:05:29,947 --> 00:05:31,281
Uh, sorry.
118
00:05:31,348 --> 00:05:34,283
One of my students tried
to call me out this morning.
119
00:05:34,350 --> 00:05:36,086
It was so funny.
120
00:05:36,153 --> 00:05:39,088
Was it 'cause you're 31 and
you still use glitter as makeup?
121
00:05:39,156 --> 00:05:40,757
No.
122
00:05:40,824 --> 00:05:43,759
Lily P. basically accused me
of being sexist towards women,
123
00:05:43,826 --> 00:05:45,694
which is impossible 'cause I am a woman.
124
00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:47,298
What'd she say you did?
125
00:05:47,363 --> 00:05:49,299
She said I don't call on
any of the girls in science.
126
00:05:49,365 --> 00:05:51,300
That's a thing.
There are studies that show
127
00:05:51,367 --> 00:05:55,572
that girls get called on
way less in math and science.
128
00:05:55,639 --> 00:05:57,307
But I don't do that.
129
00:05:57,374 --> 00:05:59,042
You sure, dog?
130
00:05:59,108 --> 00:06:01,577
A lot of people have a gender
bias and don't even know it.
131
00:06:01,644 --> 00:06:04,048
Are you kidding me?
I love both genders equally.
132
00:06:04,113 --> 00:06:06,582
If anything, I am biased towards women.
133
00:06:06,649 --> 00:06:08,384
I'm always trying
to help them improve themselves
134
00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:11,288
by suggesting they wear
more makeup or lose weight.
135
00:06:11,353 --> 00:06:13,556
I don't do that for men.
136
00:06:16,625 --> 00:06:19,295
He's picking me up after school.
137
00:06:21,163 --> 00:06:23,033
And he's taking me
to my favorite restaurant...
138
00:06:23,100 --> 00:06:25,636
The Great American Pasta Company.
139
00:06:28,506 --> 00:06:32,443
I'm going to be sugar and spice,
and who knows if I'll be nice?
140
00:06:32,509 --> 00:06:33,909
Ooh!
141
00:06:33,976 --> 00:06:35,310
I think I'll wear my hair like this.
142
00:06:35,377 --> 00:06:36,846
Oh, what's on your neck?
143
00:06:36,913 --> 00:06:38,982
- What?
- Do you have chicken pox?
144
00:06:39,048 --> 00:06:42,218
- No. Of course not.
- Oh, girl...
145
00:06:42,286 --> 00:06:44,153
- I don't have it.
- It really looks like it's...
146
00:06:44,221 --> 00:06:45,788
No, it doesn't look like anything
147
00:06:45,855 --> 00:06:47,490
because I don't have the chicken pox
148
00:06:47,557 --> 00:06:49,259
'cause I have my date tonight,
so stop saying that I do.
149
00:06:49,326 --> 00:06:52,663
You're all becoming hysterical.
150
00:06:52,730 --> 00:06:54,198
It's a neck zit!
151
00:06:54,264 --> 00:06:56,132
Haven't you ever seen a zit
on a neck before?
152
00:06:56,199 --> 00:06:57,967
Then why are you scratching it?
153
00:06:58,035 --> 00:07:01,304
Because, Cecelia,
sometimes zits can be itchy!
154
00:07:01,370 --> 00:07:03,606
- Leave me alone!
- Oh.
155
00:07:06,875 --> 00:07:09,747
- She's got it, right?
- Oh, yeah. Bitch got the pox.
156
00:07:14,233 --> 00:07:17,570
Just keep the oatmeal on
your face for at least an hour.
157
00:07:17,619 --> 00:07:19,154
Mary Louise, I hate to say this,
158
00:07:19,220 --> 00:07:20,554
but you need to cancel your date.
159
00:07:20,622 --> 00:07:23,559
No. He'll think I'm blowing him off.
160
00:07:23,624 --> 00:07:25,626
Tonight was supposed to be
the first date
161
00:07:25,694 --> 00:07:27,129
of the rest of my life.
162
00:07:27,194 --> 00:07:29,997
Girl, I want to be delicate
in how I say this.
163
00:07:30,064 --> 00:07:31,131
You look like shit,
164
00:07:31,199 --> 00:07:32,934
like, physically very ugly.
165
00:07:33,001 --> 00:07:34,470
Don't worry.
166
00:07:34,535 --> 00:07:36,170
After this, I'm gonna give you
a rosewater enema.
167
00:07:36,237 --> 00:07:37,471
That, combined with the oatmeal,
168
00:07:37,538 --> 00:07:39,306
should eliminate all of the itching.
169
00:07:39,374 --> 00:07:40,874
Speaking of, what are you
going to do with the oatmeal
170
00:07:40,941 --> 00:07:43,879
once you take it off her face?
171
00:07:43,944 --> 00:07:46,714
What? I thought I'd bake some cookies.
172
00:07:46,780 --> 00:07:50,350
Ugh. Why won't this thing work?
173
00:07:53,922 --> 00:07:56,023
Hey, can you help me with this software?
174
00:07:56,090 --> 00:07:57,324
It isn't downloading.
175
00:07:57,391 --> 00:08:01,262
Oh, no. I'm bad at computers.
176
00:08:01,328 --> 00:08:02,797
I know how to do it.
177
00:08:02,864 --> 00:08:04,332
Wait. You're good with computers?
178
00:08:04,398 --> 00:08:05,968
Yeah.
179
00:08:09,504 --> 00:08:11,038
You love your dermatologist, right?
180
00:08:11,105 --> 00:08:12,372
- Mm-hmm.
- What's his name?
181
00:08:12,439 --> 00:08:16,077
Uh, her name is Dr. Malloy.
182
00:08:16,143 --> 00:08:17,478
Right, I know that,
183
00:08:17,545 --> 00:08:19,480
because women can be doctors, too.
184
00:08:19,547 --> 00:08:22,951
Brenda! You're back
from maternity leave so soon.
185
00:08:23,018 --> 00:08:25,153
Isn't it hard to be away from your baby?
186
00:08:25,220 --> 00:08:26,554
Why don't you ask Dan that?
187
00:08:26,621 --> 00:08:28,356
He and his wife just had a baby...
188
00:08:28,423 --> 00:08:30,458
a week ago.
189
00:08:32,226 --> 00:08:34,962
Oh, my God.
190
00:08:35,029 --> 00:08:36,965
It's a scientific law.
191
00:08:37,031 --> 00:08:38,699
I'm sexist.
192
00:08:38,766 --> 00:08:41,236
Who made me this way? Because
I did not do this to myself.
193
00:08:41,303 --> 00:08:43,705
Seriously, who gave me sexism?
194
00:08:43,771 --> 00:08:46,773
Someone probably ingrained it
into you when you were little.
195
00:08:46,841 --> 00:08:48,643
But who?
196
00:08:48,709 --> 00:08:50,410
Mrs. Wyatt!
197
00:08:50,477 --> 00:08:53,348
This is all my elementary-school
teacher Mrs. Wyatt's fault!
198
00:08:53,415 --> 00:08:55,750
I used to love science,
and I was really good at it,
199
00:08:55,817 --> 00:08:57,919
but the only thing she
encouraged me in was penmanship!
200
00:08:57,986 --> 00:09:00,255
She said one day I would
write beautiful love letters,
201
00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:02,122
which is bullshit,
'cause all I do now is sext
202
00:09:02,189 --> 00:09:04,257
using peach and eggplant emojis.
203
00:09:04,324 --> 00:09:06,627
If it wasn't for her, I could've
been a hot rocket scientist
204
00:09:06,694 --> 00:09:08,030
working for the NASA!
205
00:09:08,096 --> 00:09:11,099
The NASA!
206
00:09:11,165 --> 00:09:13,834
I look so good in a lab coat.
207
00:09:16,570 --> 00:09:18,172
Hey, Caroline.
208
00:09:21,575 --> 00:09:22,977
Are you upset with me?
209
00:09:23,044 --> 00:09:25,246
- I'm fine.
- Hmm. Okay.
210
00:09:25,313 --> 00:09:26,848
I'm clearly not fine.
211
00:09:26,915 --> 00:09:28,583
Why did you just say you were?
212
00:09:28,650 --> 00:09:30,584
Because I wanted you to work
to get the real answer?
213
00:09:30,651 --> 00:09:32,587
Dude, just don't look at the photos.
214
00:09:32,652 --> 00:09:35,789
Oh, my God.
Stop trying to fix the problem.
215
00:09:35,857 --> 00:09:38,759
All I want you to do is listen.
216
00:09:38,825 --> 00:09:41,429
Okay.
217
00:09:41,496 --> 00:09:42,963
I can do that.
218
00:09:43,030 --> 00:09:45,132
Thank you.
219
00:09:45,199 --> 00:09:46,834
It's just...
220
00:09:46,901 --> 00:09:50,905
I thought these were some
of my best friends, and...
221
00:09:50,972 --> 00:09:53,074
it really hurt, you know?
222
00:09:56,310 --> 00:09:57,911
It's, like...
223
00:09:57,978 --> 00:09:59,613
did they forget about me,
224
00:09:59,679 --> 00:10:03,117
or did they decide
they don't like me anymore?
225
00:10:05,386 --> 00:10:07,122
What are you doing?
226
00:10:07,188 --> 00:10:09,124
- I'm listening.
- Not like that!
227
00:10:09,190 --> 00:10:10,791
You're supposed to respond.
228
00:10:10,858 --> 00:10:13,126
You're acting like a robot...
229
00:10:13,194 --> 00:10:16,598
a weird, non-blinking robot.
230
00:10:16,665 --> 00:10:20,968
I can't believe you didn't follow me.
231
00:10:24,372 --> 00:10:26,474
Thanks so much
for waiting with me, guys.
232
00:10:26,540 --> 00:10:28,475
I feel much better
since I stopped peeing
233
00:10:28,543 --> 00:10:30,345
out of my bottom after that enema.
234
00:10:30,411 --> 00:10:31,945
You must've had a lot of mucoid plaque
235
00:10:32,012 --> 00:10:34,081
- on your intestines.
- Oh, sick.
236
00:10:34,149 --> 00:10:35,950
Great job on the makeup, Caroline.
237
00:10:36,016 --> 00:10:37,084
Whatever.
238
00:10:44,825 --> 00:10:47,093
- Hey, ladies.
- Hi!
239
00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:48,630
- Hey.
- Hey.
240
00:10:48,697 --> 00:10:50,699
- You look beautiful.
- I'm fine. How are you?
241
00:10:51,833 --> 00:10:53,168
You know what? Okay.
242
00:10:53,234 --> 00:10:54,968
Thank you. Thank you.
243
00:11:03,511 --> 00:11:05,446
Oh, my God. This is so beautiful.
244
00:11:05,512 --> 00:11:07,814
Somebody take my picture.
245
00:11:12,621 --> 00:11:14,689
You know, we spend a lot
of time at school together,
246
00:11:14,756 --> 00:11:17,091
but I don't even think
I know where you're from.
247
00:11:17,157 --> 00:11:19,259
- Manhattan.
- Really?
248
00:11:19,327 --> 00:11:20,795
Kansas.
249
00:11:20,862 --> 00:11:22,329
I love doing that.
250
00:11:22,396 --> 00:11:24,665
I went to school at K-State.
251
00:11:24,732 --> 00:11:26,733
We probably passed
each other on the street
252
00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:28,268
and didn't even know it.
253
00:11:28,335 --> 00:11:30,804
No, I would've remembered you.
254
00:11:34,276 --> 00:11:35,609
Where did you grow up?
255
00:11:35,676 --> 00:11:37,878
I moved around a lot as a kid.
256
00:11:37,944 --> 00:11:39,280
Interesting.
257
00:11:39,347 --> 00:11:41,281
Would you excuse me for a moment?
258
00:11:59,367 --> 00:12:00,700
Sorry about that.
259
00:12:00,767 --> 00:12:02,303
No problem.
260
00:12:02,370 --> 00:12:05,106
Um, so, yeah, I grew up
in a military family.
261
00:12:05,173 --> 00:12:07,107
Oh. Your dad was in the Army?
262
00:12:07,175 --> 00:12:09,977
- My mom.
- Oh.
263
00:12:10,044 --> 00:12:11,713
I'm so sorry again,
264
00:12:11,779 --> 00:12:15,116
but will you excuse me
for just one more moment?
265
00:12:15,183 --> 00:12:16,985
- Are you okay?
- Yep. Never better.
266
00:12:30,131 --> 00:12:32,467
Ooh!
267
00:12:32,534 --> 00:12:34,870
I had always wanted to be
a volunteer firefighter.
268
00:12:34,935 --> 00:12:37,171
I feel like it's important
to help people
269
00:12:37,238 --> 00:12:38,772
and to contribute to the community.
270
00:12:38,838 --> 00:12:40,675
You know, I think I forgot
something in the bathroom.
271
00:12:52,085 --> 00:12:53,754
Oh! Yeah, yeah, yeah!
272
00:12:53,820 --> 00:12:56,156
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
273
00:12:56,223 --> 00:12:57,659
You're masturbating
274
00:12:57,726 --> 00:12:59,559
at The Great American Pasta Company?
275
00:12:59,626 --> 00:13:03,732
This is a family restaurant,
you pervert.
276
00:13:09,003 --> 00:13:11,005
Oh. Ah.
277
00:13:11,072 --> 00:13:13,941
So my first call as
a volunteer firefighter
278
00:13:14,007 --> 00:13:15,743
is actually really funny.
279
00:13:15,809 --> 00:13:17,678
We went to this home,
280
00:13:17,745 --> 00:13:19,614
and we didn't see any signs of a fire.
281
00:13:19,680 --> 00:13:22,782
So we knock on the door, and
this little old woman answers.
282
00:13:22,849 --> 00:13:24,651
You know what? I'm just gonna go...
283
00:13:24,718 --> 00:13:26,920
Oh, wait, before you go,
you have to hear this.
284
00:13:26,987 --> 00:13:28,321
Okay.
285
00:13:28,389 --> 00:13:30,992
- There wasn't even a fire.
- Oh?
286
00:13:31,059 --> 00:13:33,394
She just wanted to give us cookies.
287
00:13:33,460 --> 00:13:34,995
So then 30 minutes later,
288
00:13:35,063 --> 00:13:37,532
we get a call from
the same house, same woman...
289
00:13:37,598 --> 00:13:39,467
- No kidding.
- So we go back,
290
00:13:39,534 --> 00:13:41,470
- and again, no fire.
- Oh!
291
00:13:41,535 --> 00:13:43,603
She's just sitting there on the porch,
292
00:13:43,670 --> 00:13:45,473
- waving with more cookies.
- You know what?
293
00:13:45,540 --> 00:13:47,341
- I'm just gonna go.
- I'm almost finished.
294
00:13:47,407 --> 00:13:49,943
I promise the ending
makes it all worth it.
295
00:13:51,511 --> 00:13:55,616
So then an hour later,
we get a third call
296
00:13:55,683 --> 00:13:58,019
from the exact same house, same woman,
297
00:13:58,085 --> 00:14:01,421
and again, an hour later,
we a fourth call...
298
00:14:01,488 --> 00:14:04,750
How long is this [Bleep] story?
299
00:14:20,810 --> 00:14:23,323
Hey. I heard you were feeling pretty bad
300
00:14:23,371 --> 00:14:25,240
about everything
that happened last night.
301
00:14:25,307 --> 00:14:27,042
So I brought you something
to cheer you up.
302
00:14:27,109 --> 00:14:29,043
Another rosewater enema.
303
00:14:29,111 --> 00:14:30,211
No!
304
00:14:32,614 --> 00:14:34,350
So moving on to science,
305
00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:36,417
where everyone is
valued and appreciated equally,
306
00:14:36,485 --> 00:14:38,354
let's discuss scientific laws.
307
00:14:38,420 --> 00:14:40,655
What are some examples
of scientific laws?
308
00:14:44,860 --> 00:14:46,928
Lily?
309
00:14:46,995 --> 00:14:48,397
The law of gravity.
310
00:14:48,463 --> 00:14:50,098
Yes! That's my girl!
311
00:14:50,164 --> 00:14:52,433
I mean, woman. No... person.
312
00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:53,903
Because you are capable,
313
00:14:53,970 --> 00:14:56,439
and that has nothing to do
with your gender.
314
00:14:56,505 --> 00:14:58,607
Now, who discovered the law of gravity?
315
00:14:59,875 --> 00:15:01,476
- Miranda?
- Newton?
316
00:15:01,543 --> 00:15:04,346
Yes, that's right!
Let your voice ring out!
317
00:15:04,413 --> 00:15:06,649
And what does that law say?
318
00:15:09,885 --> 00:15:11,287
Tiffany?
319
00:15:11,354 --> 00:15:12,821
She wasn't even raising her hand!
320
00:15:12,888 --> 00:15:14,423
Who cares? Tiffany?
321
00:15:14,489 --> 00:15:16,425
I know the answer.
Why aren't you calling on me?
322
00:15:16,491 --> 00:15:18,426
I'm sorry, Gary.
323
00:15:18,494 --> 00:15:21,363
Has me not rewarding you
and feeding into the patriarchy
324
00:15:21,429 --> 00:15:23,164
for two minutes made you uncomfortable?
325
00:15:23,231 --> 00:15:26,067
Would you prefer if the women
stuck to English and poetry
326
00:15:26,135 --> 00:15:27,403
like we're supposed to?
327
00:15:27,470 --> 00:15:28,937
Your time is up.
328
00:15:29,004 --> 00:15:30,606
It's Tiffany's time now.
329
00:15:30,673 --> 00:15:32,541
The law of gravity just
brought you back down to Earth!
330
00:15:34,143 --> 00:15:35,144
Boom!
331
00:15:35,210 --> 00:15:37,144
Hey, Feldman. Guess what.
332
00:15:37,211 --> 00:15:38,614
I fixed my gender bias.
333
00:15:38,679 --> 00:15:40,948
Today I didn't call on one boy.
334
00:15:41,015 --> 00:15:43,318
A few weeks of that, and
they are gonna hate science.
335
00:15:43,385 --> 00:15:45,120
Oh, dog.
336
00:15:45,187 --> 00:15:48,322
You don't even things out
by bringing the dudes down.
337
00:15:48,389 --> 00:15:51,125
You do it by bringing the dudettes up.
338
00:15:51,192 --> 00:15:52,593
You still have a gender bias.
339
00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:54,863
You just changed
who you're biased against.
340
00:15:54,929 --> 00:15:56,397
Oh, my God.
341
00:15:56,465 --> 00:15:59,401
I'm a reverse sexist.
342
00:15:59,467 --> 00:16:02,870
FYI, I hate
these conversations with you.
343
00:16:08,809 --> 00:16:10,144
Uh-uh.
344
00:16:10,211 --> 00:16:13,481
You're staying on the couch
until you apologize.
345
00:16:13,548 --> 00:16:15,484
I don't even know why we're arguing.
346
00:16:15,549 --> 00:16:17,685
I mean, you started off
mad at your sorority sisters,
347
00:16:17,753 --> 00:16:20,222
and now suddenly you're mad at me?
348
00:16:20,288 --> 00:16:21,722
But I'm on your side.
349
00:16:23,991 --> 00:16:25,527
Thanks.
350
00:16:25,593 --> 00:16:27,928
I just wanted you
to listen and empathize with me.
351
00:16:27,995 --> 00:16:30,064
I totally understand what you're saying.
352
00:16:32,299 --> 00:16:33,734
And I'm sorry.
353
00:16:33,802 --> 00:16:36,104
- You are?
- Yeah.
354
00:16:36,170 --> 00:16:37,605
I'm sorry that you got upset,
355
00:16:37,673 --> 00:16:39,942
and that you feel like
I hurt your feelings.
356
00:16:40,009 --> 00:16:42,878
Oh, my God. That is not an apology!
357
00:16:42,944 --> 00:16:45,747
I'd like to apologize
for my behavior earlier,
358
00:16:45,814 --> 00:16:47,815
but it has recently
come to my attention that
359
00:16:47,883 --> 00:16:49,885
our education system does not
treat boys and girls the same...
360
00:16:49,952 --> 00:16:52,822
And it was a lot to deal with.
361
00:16:52,888 --> 00:16:55,290
So today I am changing the world.
362
00:16:56,758 --> 00:16:59,193
I'm forming a coed science club.
363
00:16:59,261 --> 00:17:02,397
Now, which one of you boys
wants to be president?
364
00:17:02,464 --> 00:17:04,265
Damn it, Mrs. Wyatt!
365
00:17:11,974 --> 00:17:13,909
How many times do I have to tell you?
366
00:17:13,975 --> 00:17:17,612
I'm not putting that thing
in my bottom again.
367
00:17:20,014 --> 00:17:21,749
What are you doing here?
368
00:17:21,816 --> 00:17:24,285
I, uh, stopped by the school today
369
00:17:24,352 --> 00:17:25,620
to talk to you about last night,
370
00:17:25,687 --> 00:17:28,023
but everyone said you were home sick.
371
00:17:28,090 --> 00:17:29,357
Yeah.
372
00:17:29,424 --> 00:17:31,393
I got the pox.
373
00:17:31,459 --> 00:17:34,094
Mary Louise, why didn't you tell me?
374
00:17:34,161 --> 00:17:35,596
We could've rescheduled.
375
00:17:35,664 --> 00:17:38,133
I know. I should have.
376
00:17:38,199 --> 00:17:39,801
I'm sorry I yelled at you,
377
00:17:39,868 --> 00:17:42,337
and I'm sorry I spent
45 minutes in the bathroom,
378
00:17:42,403 --> 00:17:45,039
and I'm sorry I stole
a fork from the restaurant
379
00:17:45,105 --> 00:17:48,576
so I could secretly
scratch myself on the way home.
380
00:17:48,643 --> 00:17:50,245
I didn't tell you I was sick
381
00:17:50,312 --> 00:17:52,247
because that's how badly
I wanted to go on the date.
382
00:17:52,313 --> 00:17:55,316
I thought if I canceled,
it might not happen again,
383
00:17:55,383 --> 00:17:57,118
and I didn't want to mess it up,
384
00:17:57,186 --> 00:18:01,990
because that's what I always do,
but that's exactly what I did.
385
00:18:02,056 --> 00:18:03,324
You didn't mess it up.
386
00:18:04,793 --> 00:18:06,594
I have wanted to ask you out
387
00:18:06,661 --> 00:18:08,463
since the moment I met you.
388
00:18:08,530 --> 00:18:09,864
Really?
389
00:18:09,930 --> 00:18:11,065
Yeah.
390
00:18:12,667 --> 00:18:16,271
You've already had
the chicken pox, right?
391
00:18:39,594 --> 00:18:41,529
I take it you're feeling better?
392
00:19:17,316 --> 00:19:18,416
I'm leaving you.
393
00:19:22,791 --> 00:19:24,527
Ugh!
394
00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:31,615
- Mrs. Wyatt?
- Yes?
395
00:19:31,682 --> 00:19:34,218
[Bleep] you! Because of you,
I can't remember whether
396
00:19:34,283 --> 00:19:35,552
the Earth revolves around the Sun
397
00:19:35,618 --> 00:19:37,286
or the Sun revolves around the Earth.
398
00:19:37,354 --> 00:19:39,490
My entire life is your fault!
399
00:19:39,557 --> 00:19:41,625
You are the reason
I am not working for NASA,
400
00:19:41,692 --> 00:19:43,827
you rancid bitch!
401
00:19:43,894 --> 00:19:45,496
Um...
402
00:19:45,562 --> 00:19:47,897
I think you're looking for my mother.
403
00:19:47,964 --> 00:19:51,501
She passed away three years ago.
404
00:19:51,568 --> 00:19:53,671
I am so sorry for your loss.
405
00:19:53,742 --> 00:19:56,523
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
406
00:19:56,606 --> 00:19:58,242
She was a wonderful woman.
29144
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