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DREAM HOUSE

- Not answering?
- Half price in 20 mins.

It's just my wife, cause I'm late.
She'll call back.

Why get off-peak rates
if you call at peak hours?

Mr. Muffa, we know you're there.
Your convertible's out front.

Get away! You'll get nothing!
Assholes!

We're not repo men.
We're from the bank, credit dept.

We're here to find a solution.

Before the repo men come!

- Peak hours?
- Right.

Charles Boulin. Leave a message.

Charles, I know it's peak.
At least SMS me when you're late!

Dinner's waiting. Get your butt home!

Darling, I made you fruit cocktails.
Can I come in?

No, Mom. We're not thirsty.

There's no alcohol.

If you get thirsty, call me. OK?.

Fine. Thanks, Mom.

Charles, where are you?

You can't. You have to give things up.
Like the car.

Not my convertible.
Take the fridge.

Not my Amana.
The TV. We'll give back the TV.

The plasma? I'd rather die!

You're overextended. Be reasonable.

Take the barometer.
My knee hurts when it rains.

Not enough.

Give up your diamond.

Not my diamond! The fridge.

The fridge, the plasma and the diamond.
You have no choice.

We can extend the car loan
from 7 to 15 years.

There, sign here.

Hang on. At 12% instead of 6!

The rate is determined
by the number of years.

I won't sign that.

It'll cost us more.
We're in deep shit already.

We'll make it 6% and 15 years.

Charles, we can't do that.

The office won't know.
We could've signed for 6% up front.

Enough talk.

Your methods will get us in trouble.

Thanks. You're very kind.

Seen the time?

For you.

What a horror! Why buy me that?

A gift from a credit junkie.

You needed a clock, not a barometer.

Enough already. I'm here.

Your daughter's pregnant.

What?

She's locked in her room
with her new boyfriend.

Not Eric. Now it's Mikael.

Imagine what you can do,
2 people locked in a room!

They're studying for finals.
Nothing sinister.

Oh yeah?

Come here.

Finals...

Nothing sinister?.

It's all right. He's leaving.

I don't get what she sees in him.

I just hope this one works out.

This is her 3rd in 4 months.

Oh no, Charles.

You're in bed
with our bank statements?

Balancing accounts relaxes me.
Otherwise I can't sleep.

- Mom?
- Yes?

It's late. Mikael missed the subway.

Lend me 30 euros for a cab?

Sure. In Dad's jacket, in the hall.

Thank you Ma'am.

Bye sir.

Thirty euros.
Where's he going in his cab?

She looks happy.

What matters
is Elisabeth is happy...

And not pregnant! Let's talk to her.

Now, your father and I
both like Mikael.

You've finally found someone great.

You hardly saw him.

We had a good first impression.

But don't rush in. You're so young.

What if you got pregnant?

We can talk about contraception.

Contraception!
She has to stop having sex.

You're both out of your minds.

I'm 17, OK?.

Anyway, I haven't done it yet.

I know not to say yes too quickly,

and that there are ways
to calm guys down.

All the stuff you can do
to avoid penetration.

Good night, sweetheart.

Night, Mom. Night, Dad.

Night, pumpkin. Lights out...

one, two, three!

She grew up, we didn't see it.

My baby is a woman who attracts men.

Maybe we had her too young.

What is this 1,850 euros here?

What?

Look. Out of the joint account.

1,850 is a lot of money!
What is this crap?

I don't know. Give it to me.
I'll see to it tomorrow.

- Must be a mistake.
- No, it's real!

Isn't that your debit card number?.

I don't know.

I put money
into that account, too. So...

Don't ask me, Charles. Please.

Now we have secrets?
Tell me right now, or else!

It's your 15th anniversary present.
Happy?.!

A present for me? How sweet.

I'm so sorry, darling.

Who cares?

Be tighter with your wife
than your wallet!

You've seen me that way
for 18 years?

Not for 18 years.
You weren't like that before.

Bankruptcy work has changed you.

They're overextended.
Bankrupt is zero, overextended is less.

And us? Do we have less than nothing?

We both work, we never splurge.

Look at yourself.
You've grown stingy!

Stingy!

Me, stingy?.!

I had a big gift in mind, too.
But now...

I'd be surprised.

Why?.

Because

the day you spend real money on a gift,
uncork the champagne!

What?

Sorry. I meant the Cold Duck.

I've bought you expensive gifts.

Like what?

Your car. 78,000 francs.

You drive it and it's 14 years old.
My car.

Well I paid for it.

There we are.

That's our life now.

What am I translating now?.

A book in Italian.

About what?

About Italy?.

Good night.

Jean-Yves!

Back. Give him air.

Did you call someone?
You're supposed to call.

Imagine?

The day before he retires.

Horrible.

Work your balls off your whole life,
the day you can cut loose,

boom!

All over.

Horrible.

This is it.

Who is it?

Hello.

Kurtz and Boulin from Credilem.
Mr. Titchmann is expecting us.

3rd floor, but he's not here yet.

We'll wait. We're in no hurry.

Come on, in here.

Go ahead. I'll be right up.

What did you say?.

Hang on. Yes?

I wanted to ask about a house
in the window.

It's sold. No, I'm kidding.

Call you back.

I'm in a hurry.

You have two minutes.

A big garden around the house.

2,000 square feet.

And it can be expanded.

Renovated in 2000.

This house is a dream.

That way. Fifteen minutes away.

On the cusp of the west side.

Leave the office at 6,
you're at your country home at 6: 15.

15 minutes, with traffic!

So close to Paris. Unimaginable.

Just came in. Won't last a week.
It'll sell like that.

No need to place an ad.

What's the price?

What's your budget?

I was just asking for information.

- 550,000.
- Euros?

Of course.

So expensive.

Hey, an eight-acre lot!

Space has never been so cheap.
It can only go up.

And that's the asking.

I'll come back.

Let's go see it, then make an offer.

The offer is the cheapest part.

I have an appointment.

A half hour, there and back.

- What time is it?
- 1 1 : 10.

Here we go!

Well?

1 1 :22.

12 minutes from Paris!

When you make good time.

I love the western burbs.

Isn't this north of Paris?

No, west.
The nice part of the western suburbs.

Very in demand.

No, it's north.

This area's a comer.

Slightly on the northern edge
of the western suburbs.

Southern edge of the northern.

Don't believe it.
With fine residences like this,

the west is moving north
and south, then to the east,

making one big western suburb
all around Paris.

Mr. Draquart, isn't that nonsense?

Beautiful garden, right?

So much light!

Hurts my eyes.

Louis the 15th parquet. 15th!

Look at this veranda!
In itself, worth a fortune.

Yes, very pretty.

The kitchen.

Well, it was mostly for servants.

Right this way.

The master bedroom.

The bathroom needs expansion, but...

It wasn't renovated in 2000.

Probably not much before.

There's heavy work to do.

50,000 euros, tops.
And I know this stuff.

50 plus 550, starts to add up.

Deduct the 50, offer 500.
You never know.

The old lady's in a rush to sell.

It's a gift,
but my wife has to see it.

Don't be crazy! Surprise her.

In 3 months,
after closing and renovation,

take her away for a weekend
at your country home.

She'll be overjoyed.

I'll think it over.
Let's go.

Been in the business 20 years.
This is a rare opportunity.

Offer 480,000.

Here we go.

480,000 euros.

Hi. Charles Boulin, Credilem.

Not my problem. You must pay now.

We could freeze your accounts.

Heating up.

Sorry I'm late.

I'm glad you got started.

Where were you?

I found a great country house.

You, a country house?! Pinch me.

Look.

Looks beautiful.

It better, for the money!

The garden!

Exactly what Nicole and I want.

You want a country house?

No, to live in.

We sold our apartment.
What's the asking?

550,000, plus 50,000 renovation.

The agent says it'll move at 500.

I made an offer of 480.

If it's declined, I'll go to 500.

Am I intruding?

Hey, credit junkie,
who are you to crack wise?

Think he's got another one?

Sure.

Go now. It's downstairs.

Name is Draquart.

I'll finish here.
We'll be back to the office on time.

See you later.

Later.

So, Mr. Titchmann,
do we start legal proceedings?

That's right. Leave the office at 6,
you're home at 6:45, in the country.

45 minutes, with traffic.

It's nice, but a little far
to live there.

You've seen all I have for now.

2 or 3 others may open up soon.

If you get one
like my colleague's, call me.

Why don't you take it?

What?

Make a higher bid and it's yours.

We work together. He's like a friend.

Have him over for dinner.

This is a one-time opportunity.

- Come see it this evening.
- No!

Then you'll decide.

Anyway, he doesn't have to know
it was you.

Doesn't have to.

Well?

Nothing. He'll call me if and when.

You're upset about it.

No. Why?.

If it's a problem, turn me down.

A country house is an expensive luxury.

Not at all, Mr. Boulin.

I wish they were all like you.

Always in the black, good salary,

a steady rise on the income curve.

Monthly statements a thing of beauty!

Thanks.

I'll tell you a secret:

if everyone were like you,
I wouldn't have an ulcer.

How much do you need?

530,000 euros over 25 years.

You've got it.

Where should we go this summer?.

I haven't really...

I don't believe it.

Since when do you think vacation?

I'd like to go to the country
in 3 months. You?

Why not? We'll see.

I have my own plans.

Right. We'll talk another time.

Nice try.

I've been thinking.
I'm sick of scrimping.

So we can buy anything?

If it's not too costly.

Of course.

Was that stingy talk?.

What do you think?.

What do you mean?

What matters is what you feel,
not pleasing me.

Let's say I feel like pleasing you.

- That's my translation.
- I know, I'm going to read it.

Really?.

How wonderful.

No breakfast?

Not hungry, I'm in a rush. Bye.

Bye darling.

He's so sweet.

Oh, I was trying to reach you.

I'm in a rush. I want to know
if we can renovate during escrow?.

Mr. Boulin...

the news isn't good.

- It's sold.
- What is this shit?

Someone else bought it. Not my fault.

I have a lot of beautiful houses.

The hell with them!

Words are words, money talks.

The new buyer wrote a check
on the spot.

Who is he? I'll buy it back.

Can't do it.
After all, you only saw one.

- At least look around.
- I want mine.

Next one, you'll lock it up.

Hi, Charles.

Something wrong?

I lost my house.

Really?.

What a drag.

Shit.

Fuck, it was you.

Nicole, the kids and I
have always wanted a house like that.

You want a country house.
There's no hurry.

For once, I saved you money.

Tell me it isn't true.

You didn't reserve it.
You put nothing down.

Anybody could've taken it.

Good thing it was me.

Come over any time.

For dinner.

Rescind your offer. It's mine.
I found it.

Quit it, Charles.

What, you going to beat me up?

What the hell are you doing?

550,000. That bastard!

Mrs. Perignon, 26 rue Mirabeau...

Excuse me!

How much?

1 euro 90.

For coffee? Standing at the bar?.

At a table it's 2.50.

Better be sitting down
to hear that price!

Without milk or sugar!

- I don't set the price.
- Sure!

I was going to leave a tip.

No matter. Bye.

Farewell! You just lost a customer!

I'd rather sell the house to you.

Thank you.
I knew you had a good heart.

Just add a little something.

Something?

A mere 50,000 more.

Francs?

Euros!

We use the euro now.
And it's been a while!

Let's say 30,000.

40 and it's done.

But we remove
the loan approval clause.

An old lady like myself
needs reassurance.

Yes, all right.

What do you do for a living?

I work for a lending bank.

A bank!

Isn't that wonderful!

Then we should come up ten thousand.

No, 40,000 is fine.

Ah, Mr. Draquart.

Hello, Mrs. Perignon.

You're a stubborn man.

We have a deal at 590,000.

I should hire you, Mrs. Perignon.

Boss wants to see you.

- Now?.
- Yes.

Boulin, did you really
steal Kurtz' briefcase?

We had some personal differences,

but it's settled now.

What is this stuff about 6%
instead of 12 on rescheduled credit?

Did Kurtz say that?

Is it true or not?

Sometimes I do...

Sometimes I make a gesture.
To keep the customer's business.

Keep their business
when they're broke?

You do it for bribes?

I've never taken anything.

Not even a gold-plated barometer?.

Who said you could house-hunt
during office hours?

I'm sorry about what happened.

I never thought he'd fire you.

What can I say?.

You should've left me the house.

You're scum. We were friends.

Right.

My friends don't ask for a receipt
when I treat them to lunch,

or frown at giving 10 euros
toward a present.

All right?

Any second thoughts
about the house, call me.

I'm sorry you're with this Antoine.

Internet's not a great place to meet.

I liked Mikael.
At least he was in your class.

Be nice if something could last.

They do last, every time.

We don't have the same sense of time.

My generation moves fast.

A little too fast.

Well, ladies?

Yeah, it's cool.

OK, let's go.

It's great, but too extravagant.
Thanks.

Come, Elisabeth.

Wait. You earn money too,
with your translations.

Why can't you treat yourself?
Be a little selfish.

Too much for your father.

He wants you to.

If your husband wants you to,
live it up. Not every day.

How much was it?

Very upsetting.

Final pay adjustment.

That's ugly, very ugly.

I mostly came to tell you
about a price change.

From 530,000 to 640,000.

No, stop.
We can no longer make your loan.

I would, but my superiors...

640,000 to someone who's unemployed!

I'll find another job.

You haven't yet.

Fired for cause,
you can't collect unemployment.

Better find work fast,
because in 3 months

you'll lose 10% of the agreed price.

64,000! No!

Use my apartment as collateral.

Worst comes to worst, we will.

But be careful. Slightest problem,

my bank will foreclose
and auction it off.

It'll work out. I could always
sell the house after renovating.

I'm impressed, bro'.

I didn't expect this.
After renovation, it'll be fabulous.

Actually, I don't want
a costly renovation.

How much would it cost
for a tiny, nothing renovation?

- Typical.
- What?

Ballpark, I'd say
100 or 150 per square foot.

150 per square foot!
Are you insane?

That's over 400,000!

Standard. People pay twice that
without a blink.

Not excessive.
It's what I paid for my renovation.

Of course. Same architect.
He can't screw you and not me!

Don't insult me.

Sorry. My brother's a little stingy.

I am not! I just put 590,000
into this fucking house!

They said 50 more for renovation.

Who's "they"?

The realtor.

A realtor?.
Anything to get the price up!

An architect?

Anything to squeeze a buck
out of you!

Anyway, going from 50 to 400,000.
This is a problem.

The rule in renovation is
there is no rule.

There's no norm.
It's what they think you'll pay.

He took you for a sucker.

Never get an architect
for renovation work.

No architect?

Never!

Unless...
you want to waste money!

I can manage your project.

I'll take 5%

instead of an architect's 10%.

We're talking
50 or 70 thousand all told.

50 or 70? Which?

Depends on the materials you use.

And what crew you hire.

I'd put my best crew on it.

Mulud Mami and Pirelli.

They're aces.

Mulud Mami and Pirelli?.

But they get paid American-style.

American-style?

Hi, darling. Good day?.

What a face! Something wrong?

I've had a terrible day.

Hi, honey.

Hi, Mikael.

Not Mikael, this is Antoine.

It's over with Mikael.

Sorry, I'm tired.

Got 30 euros for the movies?

Evening, sir. Ma'am.

I had to circle.
Someone took our parking spot.

One of those snobby bitch cars,
the Mini-whatever.

My love,

I'm the snobby bitch.

You said we should treat ourselves.
I bought a car.

I got a Credilem loan, five years.

Should please your office.

What is it?

You look upset.

Return it. Tomorrow.
You didn't put too many miles on it?

Charles, not again.

No, keep it.

That's better.

Thanks, sweetheart.

Let's eat out to celebrate.

Great.

Won't be easy finding work
in your line after getting fired.

We'll get you regular interviews.
Check the bulletin board.

Your age won't help.

Thirty-seven?

A typo. File says you're 57.

Do I look 57?

Do I look like I'm 57?

No, I didn't look at you.

Want to apply for welfare?

I just need a job, and fast.

Like everyone here, Mr. Boulin.

Mr. Mami and Mr. Pirelli.

They now work for you.

Two guys, to do all the work?.

They're versatile. They do it all.

Mami, foreman, masonry and plumbing.

And his right-hand man, Pirelli,
construction and painting.

And I supervise from my office.

Where do we start?

What's the job?

Don't you have plans?

When you live for today,
who needs plans?

I'm sorry.

Architects invented plans

to justify their huge bills.

With us, no problem.

Crew is tops.

OK, let's go.

For this room,
I wonder if it's possible...

- What do you think?.
- Great.

Now that we're underway, we need...

Need what?

The cash deposit.

Mulud,

I'm going to back it up
to unload all at once. Direct me?

Sure.

Tell me when my ass is in.

All right.

Come on!

Straight!

That way. A little...

Come on, a little more.

Back it up, let's go.

Back up.

Back up.

Stop.

Fuck.

Anne, I have to tell you something.

You called me "Anne." Bad sign.

I want to leave Credilem.

That's wonderful!

That's a great decision.
Nice going, darling. Here.

To your new job!

Really doesn't worry you?

Find another job
before leaving Credilem.

But please, never again

collection for a credit company.

Even if you got a very,
very good salary.

- Promise?
- Promise.

- Sir?.
- Thanks.

Two! You're crazy.

Just trinkets.

Open it.

You like it?

It's gorgeous.

My love.

I'm so sorry

about the bank statement.

No big deal.

Your PIN, sir.

The novel you spoke of.

Because I've read it.

Shit. Hope you haven't heard the CD?

No, I never have.

You're disappointed.

You haven't changed.

You never will.

It's a token. The big gift is coming.

I can't tell you.

It's a big, big surprise.

What surprise?

Excuse me, problem with your card.
The amount won't go through.

Try half the amount, twice.

Apparently it's your card.

- We'll use mine.
- No, don't.

No. Please.

That's ugly.

What choice do we have?

I didn't even see the amount.

The book I translated.

Did you read it?

The beginning.

Darling.

I'll kill that banker.

You putting me on?!
You went through your savings

and you're overdrawn 26.623 euros!
What's more...

Unforeseen renovation costs.

This month's charges
are about 9,000 euros

and you wrote a check to Batideco

that I'll have to bounce,

which will suspend you from banking!

- A bank suspension?
- Right.

No more credit or checks.
Reported to Banque de France!

Did you find a job yet?

Not yet.

They'll foreclose on your apartment.

Not my apartment!

Sure, but put yourself in my shoes.

Listen,

I'll forget about the check,

I'll halve the penalties
on the overdraft.

I'll give you 30 days, not one more,
to find a solution.

Give me your checkbook
and your debit card in the meantime.

They're at home.

Please, don't make this
any sleazier than it is.

Mr. Boulin?

You just have to make
another payment.

Mulud, stop for a second. Stop.

Because Mulud, the project foreman,

will stop the work.

What?

Oh, fine.

See you later.

Fuck, the owner's coming!

He's coming!

So get to work!

Help me, instead of laughing!

Don't. I'll do it.

Nothing's getting done.

What?

You're painting my Louis XV floor?.

Not painting it, we're wiping it.
Cause the wall paint spilled.

Stop! You're spreading it!

Don't step in it! It'll get all over!

Why aren't the floors protected?

It was draughty.
The floor protection's on the windows.

Floor protection on the windows
and wall paint on the floor.

Where are the windows?

With the doors, in the garden.

Why aren't they installed?

They are, in the garden.

Why the garden?!

They were on the stairs,
but they were in the way.

We put them in the garden.

But don't worry, the delivery guy
will put them on the doors and windows.

Why hasn't he done it yet?

An accident.
He walked into a door.

How?. No doors are installed!

He walked into it on the stairs,
on his way to the garden.

Deep shit!

You got me in deep shit!

No one will buy the house like this!

You better get to work!

I'll see to the windows and doors.

And I'll get my workers in line.

What an idiot!

They'll foreclose on my apartment!

It'll work out.

It'll all work out.

You just sell it yourself,
before they attach it.

I know foreclosure auctions.
Prices are low.

Sell my apartment?

No, that's crazy.
I can't do that to my wife.

Why?.

You'll live 15 minutes out of Paris.
Not a country house,

it's a renovated residence
with an enormous garden.

You'll see, she'll be thrilled.

Here. Sign the agent's agreement.

I'll sell your apartment,
for a good price.

You'll pay it all back

and maybe even make a profit.
I'll start showing it.

That's not possible.

My wife works at home.

Any out-of-town relatives?

Yes, why?.

Your wife know them?

She saw them at the wedding,
but we had a falling out.

Time to mend fences!

Anne?

- Charles? That you?
- Be right up!

- Hi.
- What do you want?

You never said you split with Jacques.

I forgot.

Got to go. Staying for dinner?.

I don't think so.

See you soon.

See you later.

Charles. See you later?.

Sorry, yeah. Later.

Get the hell out.

Easy, I'm here to help you.

Get off me.

I'm here on business.
Credilem sent me.

A credit problem.

A delinquent account for Boulin,
including car payments. Get my drift?

Shut up.

Anne doesn't know?.

Poor guy. Leave me the house,
I'll slow up the works.

Out!

This will start a painful process
you know all too well.

All right, I'm going.

Call me before the repo men.

Wow, your renovation is nice.

How can this happen to you?

I'm in deep, deep shit.

Strangely enough, I feel better.

Tell Anne. She's your wife.
She has to know.

No. First I get out of it,
then I'll talk to her.

And your savings?
Didn't you have any?.

I sunk it all in the renovation.

When it's finished, I can sell,
and I'll be out of the woods.

But until then I need you to lend me
60 or 70 thousand.

If you can, 70 is better.

I can't lend you money.

You don't have any?.

Sure.

But why should I?

I don't get it.

Did you lend me money when
I was out of work, Norah pregnant?

- That's different.
- What is?

You were a student,
living it up, a spendthrift.

I was doing you a favor saying no.

Now I'm returning the favor.

Alexis.

I'd help if you were in the street.

Of course.

You understand?

Mr. Boulin?

Mr. Muffa. How are you?

Tell me, why did you
adjust my interest to 12%?

I'm off your file. Credilem let me go
because of your percentage.

Shit.

They adjusted back to 12%?

The repo men come Tuesday.
My accounts are frozen.

I'm a dead man.

Why not try bankruptcy?.

If you get declared bankrupt,

Credilem can't touch you.
It's the law.

Is that for real?

It's the hole
in every credit contract.

They want to keep it secret.
I know.

I could glance at your file.

That's nice of you.

Maybe I can help you too.

My cousin's hiring.

To do what?

I'm sure you're overqualified.
Guarding a warehouse.

I need a job. It's urgent.

He's in a rush too.
The last guard got shot at.

- I'd wear a gun?
- No, there's the dog.

And I'm afraid of dogs.

A nice doggie?

No. It can't be.

Hold him!

Look out!

Don't run.

You better run.

Call him off!

Call him off!

I can't, I'm scared too.

Hi, it's us!

Uncle Jean-Pierre, Aunt Suzanne.

"Hi Charles."

- Come in. How are you?
- Fine.

What a nice surprise.

Anne, come see who's here!

We're seeing the apartment?

Yes, don't worry.

Hi, what's this?

My darling niece!

Don't recognize them?

Uncle Jean-Pierre
and Auntie Suzanne.

How nice to see you again.

I'll show you around,
so they see where we live.

Here we go.

Don't bother them with that.
Let's have a drink on the terrace.

What's the exposure?

- Exposure?
- Of the terrace.

Northwest, I think.

Yes, it's northwest.

Oh, shit.

We could have a drink inside.

- Yes, Jeanne.
- I'm Anne.

Don't worry.
It's been such a long time.

Where were you seated at our wedding?

On the left. The lefthand table.

Let's look at the album.
You never saw our wedding pictures.

Auntie hates herself in pictures.

She doesn't like that.

No, I hate it.

And here... no.

There! That's us. There we are.

Shit! Blurry, too.

Blurry, yeah.

Not one good picture of you.

- Doorman building?
- Yes, Auntie.

You were both so lovely
at your wedding.

You haven't changed.

Though you live in a 1,150 sq. ft.
3-bedroom apartment

with spacious living room,
a fully equipped kitchen,

150 sq. ft. terrace,
floor heating system,

a parking space. How nice for you.

This terrace is fabulous.

And rare! It's priceless.

What did you pay for the place?

Five million francs.

No, you're mistaken.
It was a little over 3.

Converted maids' rooms.

Oh, fine.

But 2 million in renovation.

No! Please.

Yes.

Stop exaggerating.

Half a million, tops.
We did it ourselves.

No, we didn't.

Sure we did. And it's been a while.
The plumbing needs work.

The plumbing is fine!

Fine plumbing.

If you say so.

Is the maintenance very high?

No, but property taxes!
You pay for the address.

The heart of Paris
is very prestigious.

Except for the hookers outside...

Hookers?

Yes, but not too many.

Thanks for the drink.
One last peek, then I'll make an offer.

An offer?.

Dinner at their place.

Yes, we'd like to have you over.

Love to. Whenever you like.

Your aunt is weird.

She's always been like that.

You're acting weird, too.

Thanks.

I'll be leaving now.

I'm going. She's downstairs already.

Without a word?

She sends her love.

You know Suzanne.
She can't stand goodbyes.

Bye now, niece and nephew.

She loved it.

Don't worry. I'll slam the door.

Bye, Uncle.

We're not eating at their place.

Look, I got my paper!
They saved me.

Thank you so much!
Give me some love.

Come here.

This is Mr. Roland.
He has big credit problems.

Do you mind?

This barometer...

I have a watch...

That one's more like it.

Three percent is the maximum rate...

There you are. 680.

Thank you. For the staff.

Place your bets.

You're playing too much.

- Evening.
- Evening, Mr. Boulin.

See, we're blowing it out,
like you asked. Working late.

Staying for dinner's easy.

- We get to work after.
- Back to work.

Yeah, back to work. Right after.

You better.

And don't leave
all the goddamn lights on.

The stair light works
on the hall switch?

It does?

Yeah.

It's that one.

Go ahead, Mulud.

I coupled the wires.

Nice, right?

What is this crap?

- What about the hall light?
- I don't know.

That one's the hall light.

So what's this one hooked up to?
Nothing?

No, I hooked it to something.
Just can't recall what.

What time did you get in?
I didn't hear you.

Yeah, I worked late.

Don't you work a lot,
for someone who's changing jobs?

Until I find something else...

Not working today?.

Oh yeah, you're right.
I have a credit junkie nearby.

But yeah, I better go.

I'm taking the car.

We're here today,

for the purchase of an apartment,
of 1,152 sq. feet as defined by law,

situated 37 Rue Saint Eloi,
in the first district of Paris,

sixth floor and its dependent
150-sq.-ft. terrace adjoining,

for the amount of 710,000 euros
net to seller. Right?

Less my 10% commission.

Indeed, less the 10% agency fee.

Which is 71,000 euros.

Yes, that's right.

Sorry. Could you read faster?.

We can sign
and you'll read it later.

Yes, fine.

Fine with me.

Anyway,
my nephew and I always agree.

Mr. Boulin, I must remind you,

as of June 23rd,
you will have only one day

to vacate your apartment
and move to your country house.

Residence.

That's cutting it close.
There won't be renovation delays?

It's practically done.
I've got a great team.

The best.

- Be done in six weeks.
- At worst!

Well, in that case...

Sorry, I can't see you now.

Here 710,000, no approval clause.

Covers the renovation,
the loan and my overdraft.

Good! No need for a loan.

Sit down. I'm happy for you.

My checkbook and debit card?

Not until the sale is final.

Lend me 20,000.

Just 20,000 until the sale.

Your ring.

You forgot your keys.

Mr. Boulin, I'm...

- You're late!
- I had a problem...

Fine. Come on. Quick!

OK, all this goes.
The paintings... OK?.

- This too. Not writing?
- I am.

This whole room goes.
The couch.

The bedroom...

Come on, come on!

Over here, the desk too.

Come on.

All the closets.

This all goes.

- We box it?
- Yes! All of it. Let's go.

All of this.

- The appliances?
- Of course!

All right, I'll hurry.

June 23rd, late morning.
The super has the key.

So long.

Need a deposit. 500.

I need to calculate truck space.

315 cubic feet.

315?. You sure?

I'm gifted. My wife is coming!

Oh, a secret. Separation?

- No, a surprise.
- Surprise separation?

Ma'am...

Who's that?

Who was it?

- PBA Christmas fund.
- In May?.

Advance reservations.

Don't they wear uniforms?

Right. Good thing I didn't pledge.

Wait.

Come here.

Close your eyes.

Please. Come on, close your eyes.

No peeking.

And... go ahead, open them.

- What's all this?
- For you.

Really?.

Happy anniversary, my love.

It's beautiful. You're crazy.

I had to make up for last time.

This must've cost a fortune!

Take it back. Please.

I don't get it.

Don't spend
just to prove something.

I love you like you are.

Stingy or not.

When you said a big surprise,
I never expected this.

Oh, I'm so sorry I didn't trust you.

No matter.
But that's not the surprise.

There's another one.

What's that racket?! Hey!

I can't stand noisy neighbors.

They're noisy?.

Never stops! Doesn't bother you?

No. I'm here all day long,
I never noticed.

Because you're used to it.
Even worse!

Maybe.

I want to move out.

What?

I'd love to live in a real house,
with a garden. Wouldn't you?

Charles,

this place is our whole life.

Our romance, our family.

I remember my father,
still full of life, lending a hand.

Elisabeth was born here,
grew up in this apartment.

Her first steps were right here,
on the terrace.

I did my best translations
right here.

It's twenty years of our lives.

This place is us.

What is it? You all right?

I'm hot, I don't feel good.

You want to lie down?

Asbestos in the walls...

Asbestos?

Or a byproduct, I don't know.

- I'm not well.
- Come on.

Take two of these.

It'll relax you, help you sleep.

Doctor...

Here.

I'll prescribe sick leave.

Can't have sick leave. I already left.

What matters is getting better
by resting.

Stay here, take it very easy.

Don't leave your apartment.

Here, take a third one now.

Has he had a recent trauma?
Death in the family?.

No, it was our anniversary...

All of a sudden,
he got annoyed at the neighbors.

And he collapsed.

I don't know,
maybe he spent too much on my gift.

I'm sure it's nothing serious.

Probably just stress.

He needs peace and quiet.

A few days, he'll be on his feet.

Oh, I love it!

Oh, it's so beautiful!

The veranda! I love it!

It's magnificent!

Oh fuck!

The house is a dream!

Over that way, 70 mins. away.
In the heart of the good suburbs.

Excuse me.

Mr. Boulin. What a surprise!

How's the country?.

That's my line.
Completion day is today, right?

Oh, that's right, yes.

Is the work finished?

Oh yes, probably is.

Aren't you supervising?

Sure, of course I am.

I was expecting you,
for the completion inspection.

- Let's go.
- Here we go.

Back in an hour.
90 minutes with traffic.

They'll straighten up.

Mulud!

Pirelli!

Well?

Are you OK?.

My floor. My Louis XV floor.
This isn't possible.

Tell me this isn't my house.

- What's your address?
- Mulud!

We'll break it to him slowly.
For the heart. He looks shaky.

You promised your best crew!

This is my best crew.

You did this to me. Get me out of it!
What do I tell my wife?

Don't get upset!

I'll call around,
get a couple of extra workers,

to speed up
the finishing touches.

Finishing touches...

I'm thirsty.

Have some red wine.

No, not that one.

Water. I'd rather have water.

Coming up.

Here.

Thanks. Wait a second.

What's that bathtub doing there?

To take baths.

I know what it's for.

My question is, why's there a bathtub
in the living room today?.

No, look.

There's a piece of wall missing.

And a door. The bathroom door.

The wall isn't done?
The bathroom wall isn't done?

Sure it is.

No it's not.
We're in the living room.

You're in the bathroom, and we see you.

Where's the mason?

In the bathtub.

You're not the plumber?.

I'm a plumber-mason.

Shit. We can't move today.

Moving out is easy.
Moving in could get ticklish.

Somebody moving?

The old folks on five?

Look.

The same couch as we have.

Looks like my quilt.

The old people on five
have the same quilt?

- My bike!
- It's our furniture!

Stop!

No. Put that down, it's mine.

You, put that down.

Stop!

What is it?

This isn't right, sir.
You've got the wrong floor.

My room is empty.

Boulin apartment, top floor.
I even have the key.

Let me see.

That's my husband's signature.
The delivery address?

There, on top.

What?

It can't be.

That explains the money problems.

He has a double life.

Sorry.

Stop for a second.

I said stop!

All right ma'am...

what do we do?

What do we do here?

You think he met someone else?

No idea.

I'll ride with you.

Why is all this hanging?

What's hanging?

All those cables!

Oh, right. We wanted to ask you,

you want them in a dropped ceiling
or like this, exposed?

You kidding? In a dropped ceiling!

Oh shit. Are you sure?

Of course! You hide cables!
It's not my job and even I know that.

The furniture.

Shit.

My wife. Hide, so it looks clean.

Thanks a lot!

This is an emergency.

We're even more behind here!

Got to go.

Come with me.

I got 3 workers tomorrow. Great, huh?

Explain the delays to my wife.

Women on a work site, never good.

Surprise!

What surprise?
Why is your uncle here?

He's not my uncle, honey.
He's my realtor.

Jean-Pierre Draquart.
Draquart Realty.

Welcome home my love!

What is this? Put me down!

Don't tell me you bought this ruin
as a country house?

Not a country house.

A house to live in.

Come!

OK, we'll start upstairs.

Wait a second. This is it?

The big surprise
you talked about for months?

Once it's ready,
you'll lead a dream life.

You're insane!

You're out of your mind, Charles.

This place is dilapidated!

It's not. It's being renovated.

It is dilapidated. So is your brain
and the rest of you!

We're going back!

- In the truck?.
- Yes! Come on.

Anne, wait.

Told you.
Women on a work site, never good.

Honey! Darling, I had to sell Paris
to buy this place.

What?

Don't get upset. Please don't.

You sold our apartment? To whom?

Auntie Suzanne, who's not my aunt.

You sold it to her anyway?.!

- Without telling me?
- It was a surprise.

What have you done?

It's not done.
That's why the surprise is surprising.

Who are those two? Country cousins?

Miss...

Four-star workers, much cheaper.

Which reminds me, Mulud and I

need our monthly advance, in cash.

Please! Not now!

This is a nightmare.

I'm leaving you, Charles.

I need to protect myself.

Excuse me. Should we get it inside?

No, leave it! We're going!

Come on, Elisabeth.

See? It is a separation.

Draquart, my wife is leaving me.

Convince her to stay here.
I'm begging you.

Or else I won't pay!

Stay, Mrs. Boulin!
You'll see, it's great.

Country life! 15 minutes out of town.

A little paint and plaster,

but the workers are discreet

and efficient!

He fell.

Are you all right?

Shit, my van!

Mulud, I told you,

never fix a guard-rail with plaster.

It's a cement-plaster alloy.
Very solid.

Call that solid?

Not my fault he leaned on it.

It's a guard rail,
it "guards" you when you lean on it!

Not that one.

Why not? Because it's mine?

I'll call an ambulance.

Say it was a suicide.

Not on the job.
We're all off the books.

Yeah, right. He jumped.

Boulin, 9 Impasse des Jolis Peupliers,
Argenteuil, western suburbs.

I know it's north. This is the western
part of northern Argenteuil.

It's western!

I said western suburbs, dammit!

I'm not panicking. I'm not.

But what should we do?

Yes. See if he's breathing...

Turn him on the side.

His side, or the side of the van?

His side, of course.

Come quick!

Don't bang the wall!

Don't move him! I called emergency...

It's not Draquart.

You didn't leave him outside?!

Hey, the guard rail
better not have moved

or we'll all be dragged to court.

We tried. The van's too high,

we couldn't reach him.

Relax, he's not dead. He's moaning.

Mr. Draquart?

Are you OK?.

- Got to get him down.
- How?.

- The EMT's will.
- No, I got to leave.

Me and Boulin stand behind the van,
you accelerate.

When he falls, we catch him.

Let's do it.

- Are you nuts?
- It's worth a try.

No, I won't let you. Come back.

No. Stop. Give me the keys.

Get ready, you're sliding back.

Pirelli, come on. Give it some gas!

He didn't fall.

- Hit the brakes!
- Wait!

Oh, Mulud.

If you hear me, squeeze my hand.

Nothing.

Will he get better soon?

- Your friend is in a coma.
- My renovation...

OK, move away.

- Get out.
- What'll I do?

They're here. Come in.

My darling...

Don't touch me.

Leave me alone.

I want a divorce.

No. Anne! Wait.

Dad, stop!

- I just want to talk.
- Not now.

Leave her some time.

She's right.
Give her a chance to change her mind.

Don't worry,
your wife will come back.

What do you know about it?

Yes, she will.

I didn't cheat. Just a surprise.

Can't divorce after 15 years
for a bad surprise.

What can you do?

Women are like that.
Not dependable.

Shut up. His wife is dependable.

And she's beautiful. She'll be back.

She's beautiful, so she won't be back.

Fancy women, fancy cars.
Nothing but trouble.

I'm sure she'll be back.

You're the big expert?

You can't even get an ugly one.

Bullshit. All women adore me.

They adore you with those dirty eyes?

Dirty?. My eyes?

What's that mean?

Dirty. Intransitive verb.
D.O.I.T.Y.

Dirty!

It means your eyes are sexed up
when you look at women.

You see that in my eyes?

You never miss
the porn-flick on cable.

- How can you tell?
- It's in your eyes!

He's right.

My eyes are totally dirty.

Try squinting a little.

There, you look good like that.

Get out of here! Get the hell out.
Leave me alone.

What?

The divorce hearing. I won't come.
I want you to come home.

No.

We have no home.

You sold it.

Oh, it's you.

Hi, Auntie.

I'm not your aunt.

Can I come in a minute?

What for?.

It's very important. Please.

So what is it you want?

I agree to buy back the apartment.

I sold too high.
I'll pay the same price.

Joke's on me.

That "Aunty" thing was weird,
but this!

- Name your price.
- I won't sell.

I'll give you 50,000 more.

No. I love this apartment.

A hundred thousand.

No, no and no! Goodbye, Mr. Boulin.

Twice the price I sold it for!

Please, get out of my apartment.

Come on Auntie...

Get out!

No, you don't have to pay.
We'll see later.

First, let's get you out of this.

- Thanks.
- You're welcome. Goodbye.

Go ahead, sit down.

One second.
I have a Credilem account...

I can't. Wait your turn.

- The line's too long.
- Sorry.

Excuse me. I have people here.

Either this or no movie.

Being rushed
doesn't justify eating badly.

You always go too fast.

They have fruit and salad.

That's true.

You and Isabelle going out?

What?

Are you sick?. She's my best friend.

What is it?

Nothing.

My mom thinks we sleep together!

To stay or to go?

You, here?

Food on the table.

So you did it? You left Credilem?

I created a credit defence group
at the unemployment office.

Move it, Boulin.

Anne, let's not spoil
18 years of love.

A Big Mac, a salad and...
a large fries.

- Elisabeth?
- A McChicken menu.

- And you?
- Same.

Two McChicken menus.

I screwed up. Forgive me.

And a caramel sundae.

Please.

I'll get the apartment back.

I doubled the price, she'll give in.

No, Charles.

You lied to me, too much.

I thought you'd leave me.

A surprise turned into a nightmare.

What's with you, Boulin?
You sleeping?

It's your fault.

Let me tell you the story.
Then I'll accept whatever you decide.

Please.

Are they going to get a divorce?

Elisabeth?

Here, darling.

Good night.

I'm so happy you're home.

Wait. Sleep wherever you want,
but not in this room.

My love, I...

No. There is no "my love."

Mr. Boulin, we're going.

Excuse me.

Be nice if we got our money now.

Can't. I'm out of cash.
I'll pay you when I can.

Can't do it. Either you pay tonight
or tomorrow I don't show.

Please.

Here, take this ring in the meantime.

Not my gift.

If he doesn't pay you,
that will easily cover it.

Not convenient.

Better hurry it up.

Hurts, huh?

Put the wood in there,
not the metal.

There's more in back.

Gonzales, the bags in the dumpster.

You come with me.

Don't worry, it's no problem.

- There's a problem with the sink!
- We'll see.

- Morning, honey.
- Morning, Mom.

- Well?
- Look.

There.

We'll wash up later.

Where's the kitchen?

It's not finished yet.

What a surprise.

There you are.

Excuse me.

- Sleep well?
- Fine, thanks.

- The tea is cold.
- There's no gas.

- I'll nuke it for you.
- If you like.

- A glass of cold water.
- Not cold?

Look over here,
you'll see it's brown.

Yeah. Does it taste funny?.

What do you think?.
Tastes funny, huh?

Help!

Do something!

A leak!

It's not a leak.
The faucet blew, I'll redo it.

Better and better. Come, darling.

It's all over.

There.

Close the main! Come on already!

Pirelli, could you? I'm...

Always got a reason
to do as little as possible!

A big red faucet
at the foot of the stairs.

I'll do this one. I'm here.

Got it? Is it off?

No, it's worse!

The other way to turn it off!
Clockwise!

He has digital.

The other way!

It's less strong.

- It's installed backwards.
- No way!

Tighten it! Tighten it all the way!

Tighten it! All the way!

It's still running!
Tighten it!

Not much I can do now.
Look, it's spinning loose.

A brand new faucet just comes off?

Well I'm not the manufacturer.

That's German shit.
It shouldn't break, but...

when you choose the cheapest stuff...

Change it. It must be guaranteed.

Sure, but they don't have any stock.

What do you mean?

They make it on order.
With delivery, it takes two months.

Two months!

At least.

They ship it from East Germany.

East Germany no longer exists.

It doesn't?

When the company goes under,
you can always find stock,

but if all of East Germany is gone,
we're in deep shit.

Yeah, we're in deep shit.

All of East Germany is gone?

I didn't know that.

It's off.

We could replace it with zlabi...

Slabi?.

Zlabi.

With a Z.

What's that?

It's Moroccan piping.

Moroccan?

It's very solid.

If Morocco disappears,
I got stock at the shop.

If it's sturdier, why didn't you
suggest it in the first place?

- You didn't ask.
- You didn't suggest it.

It's in the catalog.

You should've said it's sturdier
and there's stock,

unlike this East German crap!

Hey, if you're not happy,
pay us and we're out of here.

What we make here
won't put the kids through school!

When we have kids.

Sir!

Sir!

My name is Mulud.

Could you bang less loudly, please?
I can't stand it.

If I bang less loud,
the banging will go on longer.

Instead of banging loud and slow,

bang less loud and quicker.

All right?

I didn't get that.

Instead of banging

Ioud...

and quick...

just bang...

harder and slower.

Gas doesn't work yet.

Course not. Haven't hooked it up.

I'll do it right away, for you.

Thank you, pretty eyes.

Pretty eyes...

I'm going to the apartment.

Give your aunt my love.

I'll triple it, she'll give in.

You can't buy our place back
at triple the price.

You sold it, it's over.
Let's move on.

I want us to get it back.

If we're going to have
triple the debt,

we might as well get something
triple the size. Right?

Are you serious?

Don't I look it?

Mr. Mulud!

Are you all right?

I found the gas line.

I'll fix it.

They say in a coma
you can hear people.

Bastard.

Filthy, fucking asshole!

I've lost everything!

What do I do now?. God help me.

Oh my God. Quick, a doctor!
I got him out of the coma!

Get a grip.

I came out of it 2 weeks ago.

I was napping, you woke me up.

Why wasn't I told?

Who would tell you?
You're my first visitor.

Good real estate agents
have no friends.

I need your help.

- What for?.
- To save my life.

I barely have my own.

I don't care if I lost it all.

The money, screw it.
I want to keep my wife.

I'll talk to her,
tell her it's all my fault.

You'll do better.

Mr. Draquart?

- Good news!
- I'm listening.

Boulin wants me to sell
his country house.

He's desperate. Only asking 600,000.

Ask me, he'll let it go at 550.

Fantastic!

No. This is fantastic.

He had it all redone.
It's all done, it's fabulous.

Over 200,000 in renovation.

That's sweet.
Asshole paid for my renovation!

I'm afraid so.

Sure Boulin won't come?

He gave me power-of-attorney.

He's a wreck, he never goes outside.

He deserves it.

Your ID. Thank you.

- Counselor.
- Thank you.

Let's review.

You are purchasing this house
for 556,000 euros, as is,

with a mortgage loan,

and there is a clause
stipulating credit acceptance.

What a deal you made.
Renovated, it's worth twice that.

I know.

What is it?

Mr. Gira, a Mr. Perec
says he must see you.

- Shit.
- What?

- Have him wait.
- Who is he?

A client who saw Boulin's house.

- What's he want?
- I don't know.

Enough!

Please excuse us.

Mr. Draquart, what about my offer?.

What offer?.

I faxed an offer on the house
in Argenteuil. 550, as is.

Me, too. 556,000.

- Who is he?
- A buyer.

A buyer?. I'm the buyer.

600,000 and we sign now.

This guy's nuts. Tell him no.

Why should I?
That makes my cut 60 grand.

I'll give you the 60,000

but I buy it at 556,000.

630,000 euros.

650,000 euros. Enough. Get him out.

All right now, please.

My wife and I love this house.

I'll give you 655,000
with a mortgage approval clause.

Without! No mortgage clause!
I'll buy it

for 650,000, no outs,

and as is.

Honey?.

Not at 650. We have to borrow.

What do we do? Sign or postpone?

Alexis!

Could I just call my bank?.

Oh no! We sign now!

We sign right now! Right now!

Sorry.

It's yours.

That bastard.

It isn't finished.

You bought an unfinished house!

- Sue them.
- Shut up, I bought it as is!

Oh my God.

Shit. Don't move, Nicole.

Don't touch anything.

Come and look, Nicole.

You bought it back?.
You got our apartment back?.

It's fantastic.

- How much?
- No. Who cares?

- Tell me.
- I can't recall.

Look. Wouldn't a couch be nice here?

Yeah.

Maybe a painting over it.

Not bad.
And behind you, what?

There? My desk.

I love you.

No, don't tell me.

You didn't hire those Mulud guys
to redo the place?

No. Course not.

Mami, site foreman,
mason and plumber.

Pirelli...

Mami, site foreman...

and under his orders,
Pirelli...

What? What's funny?.
Assholes.

Come, we'll truck home.

That's 50 grand
in renovation.

No more than three tiles
need changing.

You're the mason,
not the plumber?.

It's coming.

Don't cut. I got it.

Don't cut.
This is the last one.

Where's the mason?

Wait, one more.
We almost got it.

Why no drop cloth?

Because of the draught.

I'll pick it up.

Why no drop cloth?

Where are the windows?

Wrong question.

Or do you want them
exposed?

Well, I wait...

and I give my answer.

Squint a little.

Now you look good.

We had it, assholes.

Even without looking,
he can feel it. He can't look.

I can see him turn
out of the corner of my eyes.

Subtitles by Chs Lee

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