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Mod f-x-square, d-x.

So please finish Percival
for next time.

I know many of you had this as
undergraduates, but it won't hurt to brush up.

Thank you, Steven.

I also put an advanced Fourier system
on the main hallway chalkboard.

I'm hoping that one of you might
prove it by the end of the semester.

Now the person to do so will
not only be in my good graces...

but also go on
to fame and fortune...

by having their accomplishment
recorded and their name printed...

in the auspicious M.I.T. Tech.

Former winners include Nobel laureates,
Field's medal winners...

renowned astrophysicists
and lowly M.I.T. Professors.

Well, that's all.
If you have any questions...

I'm sure that Tom
has the answers.

Hi, Will.

- Kirsten, how you doing?
- I'm all right. How are you?

- Good.
- I didn't get on Cathy last night.

- No?
- No.

- Why not?
- I don't know.

- Cathy!
- What?

Why didn't you give me none of that
nasty little hoochie-woochie...

- you usually throw at me?
- Oh, fuck you...

and your Irish curse,
Chuckie.

Like I'd waste my energy spreadin'
my legs for that Tootsie Roll dick?

- Go home and give it a tug yourself.
- Tootsie Roll!

T- Toots!

She's missin' a tooth,
Will.

She's got skin problems.
I don't-

Plus, it's like 5-to-2 Morgan ends up
marryin' her, you know what I mean?

There's only so many times you can
bang your friend's future wife.

It's wrong.
Where you goin'?

- I'm gonna take off.
- Fuck you, you're takin' off. It's, like, what, 10:00?

No, I'm tired.

Irish curse?

She don't know.
There ain't no Irish curse.

Out! Stop
pressuring me back.

Stop crowding the plate!
Which one will it be?

You're gonna get charged,
you know that?

You think I'm afraid of you, you big
fuck? You're crowdin' the fuckin' plate.

Hey, uh, Casey's bouncin' up a bar at
Harvard next week. We should go up there.

- What are we gonna do up there?
- I don't know.

We'll fuck up some smart kids.
Probably fit right in.

Ow! Fuckin' punk.

- Oh, what's up? You still tough?
- Come on!

Come on. Come on.
That's it.

- Professor Lambeau?
- Yes?

I'm in your applied theories class. We're
all up at the math and science building.

Come here. It's Saturday.

- Unless you wanna have a drink with me tonight.
- Maybe.

We just couldn't wait
until Monday to find out.

- Find out what?
- Who proved the theorem.

This is correct.
Who did this?

- Jack?
- It wasn't me.

- Nemesh?
- N-No way.

- Come on, Joey, now!
- Billy, McNamara's up.

Come on, kid!

- Joey, dig it out! Dig it out!
- Son of a bitch!

Bring it down, Mac! That's how to
do it! Attaboy! Take two, Mac.

Hey, Morgan, who's the girl with the
striped pants? She's got a nice ass.

Yeah, that's a real nice ass.
- Who's the guy she's with?

That fuckin' guinea. I hate that
little bitch. Will knows him.

Yeah, I do.
Yeah, fuckin' Carmine Scarpaglia.

- That guy used to beat the shit out of me in kindergarten.
- That guy?

Yeah.
Mm-hmm.

Fuck this.
Let's get some food.

- Oh, what, Morgan, you're not gonna go talk to her?
- Fuck her.

- I could go for a Whopper.
- Let's go to Kelly's.

Morgan, I'm not goin' to Kelly's just
'cause you like the take-out girl.

- It's 15 minutes out of our way.
- What the fuck are we gonna do? We can't spare 15 minutes?

Double burger.

Double burger.

Double burger.

Chuck, I had
a double burger.

Would you shut the fuck up!
I know what you ordered. I was there.

- So give me my fuckin' sandwich.
- What do you mean, your sandwich? I bought it.

Morgan, how much money
you got on you?

I said I'd get change
when I get the snow cone.

I said that when we pulled up. Give me
my sandwich and stop bein' a prick.

All right, well, give me your fuckin'
16 cents that you got on you now.

We'll put your fuckin' sandwich on layaway.
Here we go. Keep it right up here for ya.

We'll put you on a program. Every day
you come in here with your six cents.

- At the end of the week, you get your sandwich.
- Are you gonna be an asshole?

What am I, fuckin' sandwich welfare? I think
you should establish a good line of credit.

Like how you bought
your couch- payment plans.

Remember how your mother brought in
ten dollars every day for a year.

She finally got her couch
Rent-A-Center style.

- Can I have my food, please?
- Here's your fuckin' double burger.

- Whoa!
- Hey, hold up, Chuck.

- Slow it down.
- Who do we got?

- I don't know yet.
- Hey, douche bag!

Yeah, you, you skank face!

- Shut the fuck up. - Get outta
here. - What are you worried about?

Why don't you lick
my love stick?

We seen the guy 15 minutes ago. We should've
fight him then. We're eatin' our snacks now.

- Shut up, Morgan, you're goin'.
- I'm not goin'. - So don't go.

- I'm not goin'.
- Fuckin' go, Morgan.

Let me tell you somethin'. If you're not
out there in two fuckin' seconds,

when I'm done with them,
you're next.

Carmine, it's me, Will. Remember,
we went to kindergarten together.

- Fuckin', let's go, man.
- Step on his fuckin' head.

Get his ass on the ground.
Stop that motherfucker.

Motherfucker, die!

- Carter!
- Come on!

Will! Will, come on!

Will, come on.
Let's go. Let's go.

Easy, brother, easy.

- Hey, fellas, thanks for comin' out.
- Come here!

Whoa! Whoa!

Ah. Fuck.

Is it just my imagination,
or has my class grown considerably?

Well, by no stretch
of my imagination...

do I believe you've all come here
to hear me lecture.

Rather, to ascertain the identity
of the mystery math magician.

So without further adieu, come forward,
silent rogue, and receive thy prize.

Well, I'm sorry to disappoint
my spectators, but...

it seems there will be
no unmasking here today.

However, uh, my colleagues and I
have conferred,

and there is a problem
on the board right now...

that took us
more than two years to prove.

So let this be said:
The gauntlet has been thrown down,

but the faculty have answered
and answered with vigor.

Hey, when's the arraignment?

Next week.

Sorry.

- What are you doing?
- Sorry.

That's people's work.
You can't graffiti here.

- Don't you walk away from me!
- Hey, fuck you!

Oh, you're a clever one.
What's your name?

Oh, my God.

Looks right.

Will, how retarded do you gotta be
to get fired from that job?

I mean, how hard is it
to push a motherfuckin' broom around?

Mitch, you got fired
from pushin' a fuckin' broom.

I got fired 'cause
management was restructuring.

Yeah, restructuring the amount
of retards they had workin' for 'em.

Shut up. You get canned
more than tuna, bitch.

At least I got a motherfuckin' job
right now, don't I?

- Why'd you get fired, Will? Come on.
- Management was restructuring.

- My uncle could probably get you on a demo team.
- Can he do that?

You kiddin' me! I asked you
yesterday if I could get a job.

And I told you "no"
yesterday.

- What's up, Casey? - What's
up, Case? - What's up, Big Case?

Let's sit over here.

All right. Let's go.

Oh, this is- this is
a Harvard bar, huh?

I thought there'd be, like,
equations and shit on the wall.

I will take a pitcher
of the finest lager in the house.

Timeout. I'm gonna have to bust a little move
on them Harvard hotties down there at the bar.

- Work some magic.
- Get some potion for us.

- Oh, hello.
- Oh, hello.

- Hi. How are ya?
- Fine.

- So, do you ladies, uh-
- Come here often?

Do I come here?
I come here a bit.

I'm here, you know,
from time to time.

- Do you go to school here?
- Yep.

- Yeah, that's it. I think I had a class with you.
- Oh, yeah. What class?

- History.
- Maybe.

Yes, I think
that's what it was.

You don't necessarily- may not
remember me. You know, I like it here.

- It doesn't mean 'cause I go here, I'm a genius. I am very smart.
- Hey.

- Hey, how's it goin'? How are ya?
- Good. How ya doin'?

What class
did you say that was?

- History.
- Yeah.

Just history? It must have been
a survey course then.

- Yeah, it was. It was surveys.
- Right.

You should check it out. It's a good
course. It'd be a good class.

- How'd you like that course?
- You know, frankly,

- I found that class, you know, rather elementary.
- Elementary.

- You know, I don't doubt that it was.
- Yeah.

I, uh,
I remember that class.

It was, um-
It was just between recess and lunch.

Clark, why don't you
go away?

- Why don't you relax?
- Why don't you go away?

- I'm just havin' fun with my new friend.
- Are we gonna have a problem?

No, no, no, no.
There's no problem here.

I was just hoping you might give me
some insight into the evolution...

of the market economy
in the southern colonies.

My contention is that prior to the
Revolutionary War, the economic modalities-

especially
in the southern colonies-

could most aptly
be characterized as...

- agrarian precapitalist.
- Let me tell you somethin'.

Of course that's your contention.
You're a first-year grad student.

You just got finished readin' some
Marxian historian- Pete Garrison, probably-

You're gonna be convinced of that till
next month when you get to James Lemon.

Then you're gonna be talkin' about how the
economies of Virginia and Pennsylvania...

were entrepreneurial
and capitalist way back in 1740.

That's gonna last until next year. You're
gonna be in here regurgitatin' Gordon Wood,

talkin' about, you know,
the prerevolutionary utopia...

and the capital-forming effects
of military mobilization.

Well,
as a matter of fact, I won't,

because Wood drastically
underestimates the impact of-

Wood drastically underestimates
the impact of social distinctions...

predicated upon wealth,
especially inherited wealth.

You got that from Vickers'
Work in Essex County. Page 98, right?

I read that too. Were you gonna
plagiarize the whole thing for us?

Do you have any thoughts
of your own on this matter?

Or is that your thing? You come into
a bar. You read some obscure passage.

Then pretend-
pawn it off as your own.

As your own idea just to impress
some girls? Embarrass my friend?

See, the sad thing about a guy like
you is, in 50 years,

you're gonna start doin'
some thinkin' on your own.

You're gonna come up with the fact that
there are two certainties in life.

One: Don't do that.

And two: You dropped 150 grand
on a fuckin' education...

you could've got for $1.50
in late charges at the public library.

Yeah, but
I will have a degree,

and you'll be servin' my kids fries at a
drive through on our way to a skiing trip.

Maybe, but at least
I won't be unoriginal.

If you have a problem with that, we could
step outside. We could figure it out.

No, man, there's no problem.
It's cool.

- It's cool?
- Yeah.

- Cool.
- Damn right, it's cool.

How do you like me now?

My boy's wicked smart.

I just spent three minutes in this
fuckin' place and run into a barney, huh?

There it is.

- Nice to meet you.
- They were fine, man.

I was gonna close the deal, but then
Chuck- Billy insulted one of 'em-

The heavyset girl said I had a receding
hairline, and I was a few pounds overweight.

And I was, like,
"Go fuck yourself."

I swallowed a bug.

Hi.

- You're an idiot.
- What?

You're an idiot. I've been sitting
over there for 45 minutes...

waiting for you
to come and talk to me.

But I'm tired now,
and I have to go home.

I couldn't sit there anymore
waiting for you.

- I'm Will.
- Skylar.

- Skylar.
- Oh, and by the way,

that guy over there-
Michael Bolton clone-

He wasn't sitting with us,
so to speak.

- I know. I kinda got that impression.
- Good. Okay.

Well, I've got to go.

Gotta get up early and waste some more
money on my overpriced education.

- No, I didn't mean you.
- That's all right.

There's my number. Maybe we can
go out for coffee sometime.

All right, yeah. Maybe we can just get
together and eat a bunch of caramels.

- What do you mean?
- When you think about it,

- it's as arbitrary as drinkin' coffee.
- Oh. Yeah. Okay.

Uh, right, then.

Oh, come on. You're kidding.

Yo!

- Fuck you, bitch!
- Fuck you.

- There goes them fuckin' barneys right now with his skiin' trip.
- Hold on.

We should've beat
that old bitch's ass.

Do you like apples?

- Yeah.
- Yeah?

Well, I got her number!
How do you like them apples?

Come.

Excuse me? Is this
the Buildings and Grounds office?

Yeah. What can I do
for you?

I just need the name
of a student who works here.

- No students work for me.
- Could you please check?

I have this guy
who works in my building.

- He's about this high.
- Which one is your building?

- Two.
- Two. Building two.

- Look, if anything was stolen, I should know about it.
- No, it's nothing like that.

I just need his name.

- I can't give you his name unless you have a complaint.
- This is Professor Lambeau.

And this is
Professor Hayes.

Tom, please.

This is important.
Please.

Will didn't show
for work today.

Got this job through
his P.O. You can call him.

- P.O.?
- Yeah. Parole officer.

Thank you.

Asshole.

There is a lengthy legal precedent,
Your Honor, going back to 1789,

whereby a defendant can claim self-defense
against an agent of the government...

if that act is deemed a defense against
tyranny, a defense of liberty.

Your Honor, Henry Ward Beecher,

- in Proverbs from the Plymouth
Pulpit, 1887, said, quote- - 1887?

- Excuse me.
- This is the 20th century.

- He's gonna make a mockery.
- I am afforded the right to speak in my own defense, sir,

by the Constitution
of the United States.

- Don't tell me about the Constitution.
- This guarantees my liberty.

"Liberty," in case you've forgotten,
is a soul's right to breathe.

When it cannot take a long breath,
laws are girded too tight.

- Without liberty, man is a syncope.
- Man is a what?

- Ibid., Your Honor.
- Son, my turn.

I've been sitting here for ten minutes
now lookin' over this rap sheet of yours.

I just can't believe it.
June '93, assault.

September '93, assault.

Grand theft auto,
February of '94.

Where, apparently, you defended yourself
and had the case thrown out by citing...

"free property rights
of horse and carriage" from 1798.

Joke. January '95,
impersonating an officer.

Mayhem, theft, resisting.
All overturned.

I'm also aware that you've been
through several foster homes.

The state removed you from three
because of serious physical abuse.

You know, another judge might care,
but you hit a cop. You're going in.

Motion to dismiss is denied.
$50,000 bail.

Thank you.

Rise.

- Hello?
- Uh, Skylar?

- Yep.
- Hey, uh, it's Will.

- Who?
- It's Will.

You know, the really funny, good-looking
guy you met at the bar the other night.

I don't recall meeting anyone who matches
that description. I think I'd remember.

Oh, all right, you got me. It's the
ugly, obnoxious, toothless loser...

who got hammered and wouldn't
leave you alone all night.

Oh, Will! I remember.

How are you?
I was wondering if you'd call me.

- Yeah, look, I was wondering-
- Yo, what's up, baby?

- Hold on one second.
- What you doing? Want some of my ass?

- Herve, I remember you from juvi. How you doing?
- What you doing?

Oh, yeah,
sorry about that.

I was wonderin' maybe we could
get together sometime this week.

- Sit out at a cafe. Maybe have some caramels.
- Oh, that sounds wonderful.

- Yeah?
- Yeah, sure. Where are you?

Uh, well, actually,
this is just a shot in the dark,

but, uh, there's no chance
that you're pre-law, is there?

- Have a seat.
- Thank you.

Nice talking to ya.

What the fuck
do you want?

I'm Gerald Lambeau.

Professor you told
to fuck himself.

Well, what the fuck
do you want?

I've spoken to the judge, and he's agreed
to release you under my supervision.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- Under two conditions.
- What are those?

First condition is that
you meet with me every week.

- What for?
- Go over the proof you're working on,

get into
some more advanced...

combinatorial mathematics,

finite math.

Sounds like a real hoot.

And the second condition
is that-

that you see a therapist.

I'm responsible to submit reports
on those meetings.

If you fail to meet with any of those
conditions, you will have to serve time.

All right. I'll do the math, but I'm not
gonna meet with any fuckin' therapist.

It's better than spending
that time in jail, isn't it?

I read your book, and "Mike"
was havin' the same problems...

that "Chad," the stockbroker,
was havin'.

Absolutely right. Right on the button.
Good for you, Will.

- Very nice.
- Thank you.

Will, the pressures-
and I'm not judging them.

I'm not labeling them,

but they are destroying
your potential.

No more shenanigans.
No more tomfoolery. No more ballyhoo.

You're right.
God, I know.

You're not gonna get off that easily.
Come on, Will. A bit more.

- Well, I mean, I do do things, you
know? - What- What kind of things?

I do things that, you know,
I mean, I hide from people.

- You hide, do you? - No, no. I
mean, I like- I go places. I interact.

- Really? What sort of places?
- Just certain clubs.

More. That's nice. Yes.
What sort of clubs?

Like, uh, like Fantasy.

Fantasy. That's nice.
A bit more.

It's something like when you get
in there, the music, like, owns you.

It's like that house music. It's like-

- You know, you start dancin'.
- Boom, boom, boom. Yeah.

It's just-

Yes.

Do you find it hard to hide
the fact that you're gay?

What are you talking about? What?

Look, buddy, two seconds ago,
you were ready to give me a jump.

A jump? Are you-

I'm terribly sorry
to disappoint you.

Hey, I don't have a problem with it.
I don't care if you putt from the rough.

What are you- P- Putting from the rough?
What on earth are you talking about?

A difficult theorem
could be like a symphony.

It's very erotic.

You go somewhere else.
I can't handle this.

- Wow.
- Thank you, Henry.

- Ah, Henry.
- Hi, Gerry.

You know something?
I can't do this pro bono work anymore.

- It's just not- It's not worth it.
- What happened?

Well, I'm going on national
television next week.

I mean, I haven't got time to tell you, much
less talk to that raving looney in there.

An absolute lunatic,
he is.

Henry.

Okay,
you are in your bed, Will.

Now, how old are you?

Seven.

What do you see?

Something's in my room.

What is it?

It's like a- It's a figure.
It's hoverin' over me.

You are in a safe place,
Will.

It's t-
It's touchin' me.

Where is it touching you?

It's touching me
down there,

and I'm nervous.

You don't have to be
nervous, Will.

We start dancin' and dancin'.

It's just beautiful,

'cause we can make...

a lot of love
before the sun goes down.

- I'm sorry, Rich.
- I have better things to do with my time.

Come on! One dance!

You really hypnotized me,
you know?

- For God's sake, Will.
- What? Oh, come on. He left. You can't pin that on me.

- I told you to cooperate with these people.
- Look...

- into my eyes.
- Get out, Will.

I don't need therapy.

That's enough. Get out!

- I called Mel Weintraub this
morning to see- - Oh, what's the use?

What do you want to do?

- Well, there's someone.
- Who is he?

He used to be my, uh-
my roommate in college.

Trust. Very important
in a relationship.

It's also very important
in a clinical situation.

Why is trust
the most important thing...

in making a breakthrough
with a client?

Maureen, stop the oral fixation
for a moment and join us.

- Vinnie.
- Um-

Because, uh-

Trust is, uh-
Trust is life.

Wow. That's very deep.
Thank you, Vinnie.

Next time,
get the notes from your brother.

If a patient doesn't feel safe enough trust
you, then they won't be honest with you.

Then there's really no point
for them being in therapy.

I mean, hey, if they don't trust you, you're
never gonna get them to sleep with you.

That should be the goal of any good
therapist. Nail 'em while they're vulnerable.

That's my motto.

Oh, good, everyone's back.
Welcome back, everybody.

- Hello, Sean.
- Hey, Gerry.

Um, ladies and gentlemen,
we are in the presence of greatness.

Professor Gerald Lambeau, Field's medal
winner for combinatorial mathematics.

- Hello.
- Anyone know what the Field's medal is?

It's a really big deal.
It's like the Nobel prize for math.

Except they only give it out once
every four years. It's a great thing.

It's an amazing honor.
Okay, everybody, that's it for today.

Thanks. We'll see you Monday.
We'll be talking about Freud.

Why he did enough cocaine
to kill a small horse. Thank you.

- How are you?
- It's good to see you.

Good to see you.

- Sean, I think I got something interesting for ya.
- Yeah?

What, you have to have
blood and urine? What's up?

Why didn't you come
to the reunion?

You know, I'm-
I've been busy.

- You were missed.
- Really?

- So how long has it been since we've seen each other?
- Before Nancy died.

Yeah, I'm sorry.

I was in Paris.
It was that damn conference.

I got your card.
It was nice.

- Come here.
- Now that's a takedown.

Hey, what happened?
Did you get leniency or what?

I got, uh, probation
and then counseling two days a week.

Joke. You're a smoothie.
Come on, Morgan! Just submit!

Hey, Bill, just-just get off him.
We're gonna miss the game.

- I've got a full schedule. I'm very busy.
- Sean, Sean.

This-This boy is incredible.
I've never seen anything like him.

What makes him
so incredible, Gerry?

- You ever heard of Ramanujan?
- Yeah, yeah. No.

It's a man. He lived
over 100 years ago. He was Indian.

- Dots, not feathers.
- Not feathers. Yeah.

He lived in this tiny hut
somewhere in India.

He had no formal education.

- He had no access to any scientific work.
- Coffee?

- You, sir?
- Just a little.

But he came across
this old math book,

and from the simple text,
he was able to extrapolate theories...

that had baffled
mathematicians for years.

Yes. Continued fractions.
He wrote, uh-

- Well, he mailed it to Hardy at Cambridge.
- Yeah, Cambridge. Yeah.

- And Hardy immediately recognized
the brilliance of his work... - Mm-hmm.

And brought him over to England,
and then they worked together for years,

creating some of the most
exciting math theory ever done.

This-This Ramanujan-

his-his genius
was unparalleled, Sean.

- Well, this boy's just like that.
- Hmm.

- But he's- he's a bit defensive.
- Hmm.

I need someone
who can get through to him.

- Like me?
- Yeah, like you.

- Why?
- Well, because you have the same kind of background.

- What background?
- Well, you're from the same neighborhood.

- He's from Southie?
- Yeah.

Boy genius from Southie.

- How many shrinks you go to before me?
- Five.

- Let me guess. Barry? Henry? Not Rick?
- Yeah. Yeah.

- Sean, please, just meet
with him once a week. - Mm-hmm.

Please?

It's a poker game with this kid.
Don't let him know what you've got.

He probably even read your book,
if he could find it.

It's gonna be hard
for him to find.

- Hi, Will.
- Hi.

This is Sean Maguire.
Will Hunting.

How are ya?

- Yeah. Let's get started.
- Yeah, let's do it.

I'm pumped.
Let's let the healing begin.

- Will you excuse us?
- Yeah, please, Tom.

You, too, Gerry.

Yeah, of course.

How are you?

Where you from
in Southie?

- I like what you've done with the place.
- Oh, thanks.

Do you buy all these books
retail,

or do you send away for, like, a "shrink kit"
that comes with all these volumes included?

- Do you like books?
- Yeah.

- Did you read any of these books?
- I don't know.

- How about any of these books?
- Probably not.

What about the ones
on the top shelf? You read those?

- Yeah, I read those.
- Good for you. What do you think about 'em?

I'm not here for a fuckin' book report.
They're your books. Why don't you read 'em?

I did. I had to.

- Must've taken you a long time.
- Yeah, it did.

United States of America:
A Complete History, Volume I.

Jesus. If you wanna read
a real history book,

read Howard Zinn's
A People's History in the United States.

That book'll fuckin'
knock you on your ass.

Better than Chomsky's
Manufacturing Consent?

- Do you think that's a good book?
- You fuckin' people baffle me.

You spend all your money on these fuckin'
fancy books. You surround yourselves with 'em.

- They're the wrong fuckin' books.
- What are the right fuckin' books, Will?

- Whatever blows your hair back.
- Yeah. Haven't got much hair left.

Hey, you know you'd be better
shoving that cigarette up your ass.

- It'd probably be healthier for you.
- Yeah, I know.

- It really gets in the way of my yoga.
- You work out, huh?

- What, you lift?
- Yeah.

- Nautilus?
- No, free weights.

- Oh, really? Free weights, huh?
- Yeah. Yeah, big time.

- Yeah?
- Just like that.

- What do you bench?
- 285. What do you bench?

You paint that?

- Yeah. Do you paint?
- Uh-uh.

- Do you sculpt?
- No.

Do you like art?

- Do you like music?
- This is a real piece of shit.

Oh, tell me what
you really think.

Just the linear and impressionistic mix
makes a very muddled composition.

It's also a Winslow Homer rip-off, except
you got whitey rowin' the boat there.

Well, it's art, Monet.
It wasn't very good.

- That's not really what concerns me though.
- What concerns you?

- Just the coloring.
- You know what the real bitch of it is?

It's paint-by-number.

Is it color-by-number? Because
the colors are fascinating to me.

- Aren't they really?
- You bet.

I think you're about one step away
from cuttin' your fuckin' ear off.

- Really?
- Oh, yeah.

Think I should move to the south of
France, change my name to "Vincent"?

- You ever heard the sayin', "any port in a storm"?
- Yeah.

- Yeah, maybe that means you.
- In what way?

- Maybe you're in the middle of a storm, a big fuckin' storm.
- Yeah, maybe.

The sky's fallin' on your head. The
waves are crashin' over your little boat.

The oars are about to snap.

You just piss in your pants.
You're cryin' for the harbor.

So maybe you do
what you gotta do to get out.

You know, maybe you became
a psychologist.

Bingo. That's it. Let me do my job now.
You start with me. Come on.

- Maybe you married the wrong woman.
- Maybe you should watch your mouth!

Watch it right there, chief,
all right?

Ah.

That's it, isn't it?

You married
the wrong woman.

What happened?
What, did she leave you?

Was she, you know-
banging some other guy?

If you ever disrespect my wife again,
I will end you.

I will fuckin' end you.

Got that, chief?

Time's up.

Yeah.

At ease, gentlemen.

You okay?

Look, I'll understand if you don't
wanna meet with him again.

Thursday, 4:00.
Make sure the kid's here.

Yeah.

Thanks.

Well, you look lovely
in those glasses.

- Thank you very much.
- They're just beautiful.

- Yes, I always wanted dark blue eye shadow.
- Wonderful.

Growing up in England, you know,
I went to a very nice school.

You know, it was kind of progressive,
organic, do-it-yourself, private school.

Then Harvard.
Hopefully med school.

You know, I figured out,
by the end,

my brain's gonna be worth
$250,000.

That sounded horrible,
didn't it?

Bring me another mai tai!

Yeah, that's cool. I mean,
I bet your parents were happy to pay.

No, I was happy to pay.
I inherited the money.

Wow. Is Harvard gettin'
all that money?

No, Stanford. I'm going there
in June when I graduate.

All right, so you just wanted to use
this sailor and then run away, huh?

I was gonna, you know, experiment on you
for anatomy class first, obviously.

In that case, that's fine.

- Hey, you wanna see my magic tricks, Skylar?
- Of course.

All right.
Promise to-

All right.

- This one's for you, Rudolph.
- Wait, wait. You need my wand.

All right, give me a hit.
Thank you. All right.

I'm gonna make
all these caramels disappear.

You ready?
Ready.

One, two, three.

They're all gone.

That was my- It works better
when I have my rabbit.

Well-

I don't really date,
you know, that much.

How very unfortunate...
I think for me.

You know what I mean?
I know you've been thinking about it.

- Oh, no, I haven't.
- Yes, you have.

- No, I really haven't.
- Yes, you have. You were hoping to get a good night kiss.

No, you know, I tell ya,
I was hopin' to get a good night laid.

But I'll settle for,
like, a kiss, you know?

- How very noble of you.
- Thank you.

- Mm.
- No, I was- I was hopin' for a kiss.

Well, why don't we just
get it out of the way now?

- Right now?
- Yeah.

Come on.

I think I got
some of your pickle.

You again, huh?

Come with me.

So what's this?
A Taster's Choice moment between guys?

This is really nice. You got a thing
for swans? Is this, like, a fetish?

Is it something, like, maybe
we need to devote some time to?

- Thought about what you said to me the other day. About my painting.
- Oh.

Stayed up half the night
thinking about it.

Something occurred to me.

I fell into a deep, peaceful sleep
and haven't thought about you since.

- You know what occurred to me?
- No.

You're just a kid. You don't have the
faintest idea what you're talking about.

- Why, thank you.
- It's all right.

You've never been
out of Boston.

Nope.

So if I asked you about art,
you'd probably give me the skinny...

on every art book
ever written.

Michelangelo?
You know a lot about him.

Life's work, political aspirations.
Him and the pope.

Sexual orientation.
The whole works, right?

I bet you can't tell me what it
smells like in the Sistine Chapel.

You never actually stood there
and looked up at that beautiful ceiling.

Seeing that.

If I ask you about women,

you'll probably give me a syllabus
of your personal favorites.

You may have even been laid
a few times.

But you can't tell me what it feels like
to wake up next to a woman...

and feel truly happy.

You're a tough kid.

I ask you about war, you'd probably
throw Shakespeare at me, right?

"Once more into the breach,
dear friends."

But you've never been near one.

You've never held your best friend's
head in your lap...

and watch him gasp his last
breath lookin' to you for help.

If I asked you about love,
you'd probably quote me a sonnet,

but you've never looked at a woman
and been totally vulnerable.

Known someone that could
level you with her eyes.

Feelin' like God put
an angel on Earth just for you,

who could rescue you
from the depths of hell.

And you wouldn't know
what it's like to be her angel,

to have that love for her
be there forever.

Through anything.
Through cancer.

And you wouldn't know about sleepin'
sittin' up in a hospital room...

for two months,
holding her hand,

because the doctors
could see in your eyes...

that the terms "visiting hours"
don't apply to you.

You don't know about real loss,

'cause that only occurs when you love
something more than you love yourself.

I doubt you've ever dared
to love anybody that much.

I look at you. I don't see
an intelligent, confident man.

I see a cocky,
scared shitless kid.

But you're a genius, Will.
No one denies that.

No one could possibly understand
the depths of you.

But you presume to know everything about
me because you saw a painting of mine.

You ripped
my fuckin' life apart.

You're an orphan, right?

Do you think I'd know the first thing
about how hard your life has been-

how you feel, who you are-

because I read Oliver Twist?

Does that encapsulate you?

Personally, I don't give a shit
about all that, because-

You know what? I can't
learn anything from you...

I can't read
in some fuckin' book.

Unless you wanna talk
about you,

who you are.

And I'm fascinated.
I'm in.

But you don't wanna do that,
do you, sport?

You're terrified
of what you might say.

Your move, chief.

Hello? Hello?

Hello?

Professor Valenti,
are you calling me again?

Freak.

- Oh, God.
- Christ, who did you call?

- No one. I forgot the number.
- You fuckin' retarded?

You went all the way out there in the
rain, and you didn't bring the number.

No, it was your mother's 900 number.
I just ran out of quarters.

Why don't we get off on mothers?
I just got off yours.

- That's
pretty funny, Morgan.

That's a fuckin' nickel,
bitch.

- Keep antagonizing me. Watch what happens.
- All right, then, Morgan.

- Watch what happens.
- All right, then, Morgan.

Keep fuckin' with me.

No smoking.

What do you mean, he didn't talk?
You were in there for an hour.

He just sat there counting the seconds
until the session was over.

- Pretty impressive, actually.
- Why would he do that?

To prove to me he doesn't have
to talk to me if he doesn't want to.

What is this? Some kind of staring contest
between two kids from the old neighborhood?

Yeah, it is,
and I can't talk first.

We know your theory, Alexander, but the
boy's found a simple geometrical picture.

- A tree structure won't work.
- Look now. He's joining the two vertices.

But I can do the sum.

- It's how you group the terms, Alexander.
- But, Gerry.

If we do the whole thing
this way, then-

Hey, look, look.

I wrote it down.
It's simpler this way.

Sometimes
people get lucky.

You're a brilliant man.

You know,
I was on this plane once,

and I'm sittin' there, and...

the captain gets on,
he does his whole, you know,

"we'll be cruisin' at 35,000 feet,"
but then he puts the mike down.

- He forgets to turn it off.
- Mm-hmm.

So he turns to the copilot.
He's, like,

"You know, all I could use right now is
a fuckin' blow job and a cup of coffee."

So the stewardess fuckin' goes bombin'
up from the back of the plane...

to tell him
the microphone's still on.

This guy in the back of the plane's like,
"Hey, hon, don't forget the coffee."

You ever been on a plane?

No, but it's a fuckin' joke. It works
better if I tell it in the first person.

Yeah, it does.

I have been laid,
you know?

Really? Good for you.

- Big time, big time.
- Big time, huh?

I went on a date last week.

- How'd it go?
- It was good.

- Goin' out again?
- I don't know.

- Why?
- Haven't called her.

- Christ, you're an amateur.
- I know what I'm doin'.

Yeah. Don't worry about me.
I know what I'm doin'.

Yeah, but this girl was, like,
you know, beautiful.

She's smart. She's fun. She's different
from most of the girls I've been with.

- So call her up, Romeo.
- Why, so I can realize she's not that smart.

That she's fuckin' boring?
You know, I mean, you don't-

This girl's, like, fuckin' perfect
right now. I don't wanna ruin that.

Maybe you're perfect right now.
Maybe you don't wanna ruin that.

But I think that's
a super philosophy, Will.

That way, you can go through your entire life
without ever having to really know anybody.

My wife used to fart
when she was nervous.

She had all sorts
of wonderful idiosyncrasies.

You know, she used to fart
in her sleep.

Just thought I'd share that
with you.

One night it was so loud,
it woke the dog up.

She woke up and gone, like,
"Was that you?"

I said, "Yeah." I didn't have
the heart to tell her. Oh, God.

- She woke herself up?
- Yes.

Oh, Christ. But, Will, she's been dead
two years and that's the shit I remember.

It's wonderful stuff, you know?
Little things like that.

Yeah, but those are the things
I miss the most.

Those little idiosyncrasies
that only I knew about.

That's what made her
my wife.

Boy, and she had the goods on me too.
She knew all my little peccadillos.

People call these things
"imperfections," but they're not.

That's the good stuff.

And then we get to choose who
we let into our weird little worlds.

You're not perfect, sport.

And let me save you
the suspense.

This girl you met,
she isn't perfect either.

But the question is whether or not
you're perfect for each other.

That's the whole deal.
That's what intimacy is all about.

Now you can know
everything in the world, sport,

but the only way you're findin' out
that one is by givin' it a shot.

You certainly won't learn
from an old fucker like me.

Even if I did know,
I wouldn't tell a pissant like you.

Yeah, why not?

You told me every other
fuckin' thing. Jesus Christ.

Fuckin' talk more than any shrink
I ever seen in my life.

I teach the shit.
I didn't say I knew how to do it.

Yeah.

You ever think
about gettin' remarried?

My wife's dead.

- Hence the word "remarried."
- She's dead.

Yeah, well, I think
that's a super philosophy, Sean.

I mean, that way, you can actually
go through the rest of your life...

without ever really knowing
anybody.

Time's up.

- Hold it open.
- Okay.

Thanks.

"G" minor seventh.
Saddest of all chords.

- Hello.
- Hey.

- Where have you been? - I'm sorry. I've
been, like- I've been really busy, and-

- But, um-
- Mmm. Me too.

Yeah. I-
I thought you'd call.

Yeah, um-

- I mean, we had a really good time.
- I had a really good time too.

I mean, I just- I-

I'm sorry, you know.
I blew it.

No. No, I mean,
you know, it's all right.

Yeah, um, so, I was
wonderin' if, uh,

if, you know, you'd give me
another crack at it.

You know, let me
take you out again.

- I can't.
- All right.

Oh, no, I didn't- I didn't mean
I can't, like, ever.

I just can't right now.

I've got to assign
the proton spectrum for "ebogamine."

All that sounds really, really interesting.
It's actually fantastically boring.

- All right, um-
- Maybe some other time.

- Like tomorrow?
- Um, yeah, all right.

- Okay.
- Okay.

- Bye.
- Bye.

What are you doing here?

I couldn't wait
till tomorrow.

Where the fuck
did you get this?

I had to sleep
with someone in your class.

Oh, I hope it was someone with the
open-toed sandals and the really bad breath.

- Come on. Let's go have some fun.
- No, I've got to learn this.

Well, you're not going into
surgery tomorrow, are you?

- No.
- Let's go.

Oh, my God!
My dog is winning!

Come on, Misty!

Come on! Run!
Look at that! Come on!

Look, there he goes.
Misty, run! Come on!

- We won.
- He totally won.

So did you grow up
around here then?

Not far.
South Boston.

Still glowing from my win.

Look at you.
You're so happy.

And what was
that like then?

It was normal, I guess.
Nothin' special.

Do you got lots of
brothers and sisters?

- Do I have a lot of brothers and sisters?
- That's what I said.

- Well, Irish Catholic, what do you think?
- Right. That's right.

- How many?
- You wouldn't believe me if I told you.

- Why? Go on. What? Five?
- No.

Seven? Eight?
How many?

- I have 12 big brothers.
- You do not!

No, I swear to God. I swear to God.
I'm lucky 13 right here.

Do you know
all their names?

Do I- Yeah,
they're my brothers.

What are they called?

Marky, Ricky, Danny, Terry, Mikey, Davey,
Timmy, Tommy, Joey, Robby, Johnny and Brian.

Say it again.

Marky, Ricky, Danny, Terry, Mikey, Davey,
Timmy, Tommy, Joey, Robby, Johnny and Brian.

And Willy.

- Willy?
- Yeah.

- Will.
- Wow.

- Do you still see all of them?
- Yeah, well, they all live in Southie.

- I'm livin' with three of 'em right now.
- Oh, yeah?

- Yeah.
- I'd like to meet them.

Yeah, we'll do that.

Oh, you know,
I read your book last night.

Oh, so you're the one.

Do you still, uh-
Do you still counsel veterans?

No, I don't.

- Why not?
- Well, I gave it up when my wife got sick.

You ever wonder what your life would be
like if you, uh, if you never met your wife?

What? Wonder if I'd be
better off without her?

- No, no, no, I'm not saying, like, better off.
- No.

- I didn't mean it like that.
- It's all right. It's an important question.

'Cause you'll have bad times,
but that'll always wake you up...

to the good stuff
you weren't paying attention to.

And you don't regret
meetin' your wife?

Why? 'Cause the pain
I feel now?

Oh, I got regrets, Will, but I don't
regret a single day I spent with her.

So when did you know, like,
that she was the one for you?

October 21, 1975.

Jesus Christ.
You know the fuckin' day?

Oh, yeah, 'cause it was game six of the
World Series, biggest game in Red Sox history.

- Yeah, sure.
- My friends and I had slept out all night to get tickets.

- You got tickets?
- Yep. Day of the game I was sittin' in a bar,

waitin' for the game to start
and in walks this girl.

It was an amazing game though. You know,
bottom of the eighth, Carbo ties it up.

It was 6-6.
It went to 12.

Bottom of the 12th, in stepped
Carlton Fisk, old Pudge.

Steps up to the plate.
You know, he's got that weird stance.

- Yeah, yeah. - And then-
Boom! He clocks it, you know.

High fly ball
down the left field line!

Thirty-five thousand people
on their feet, yellin' at the ball.

But that's nothin', 'cause Fisk,
he's wavin' at the ball like a madman.

- Yeah, I've seen that.
- "Get over! Get over!

- Right.
- Get over!"

Then it hits the foul pole.
He goes ape-shit, and 35,000 fans-

They charge the field,
you know.

Yeah, and he's fuckin'
blowin' people outta the way.

"Get outta the way!
Get outta the way!"

I can't fuckin' believe you had
tickets to that fuckin' game!

- Did you rush the field?
- No, I didn't rush the fuckin' field. I wasn't there.

- What?
- No, I was in a bar, havin' a drink with my future wife.

You missed Pudge Fisk's home run to have a
fuckin' drink with some lady you never met?

Yeah, but you should have
seen her. She was a stunner.

- I don't care if-
- Oh, no, no, she lit up the room.

- I don't care if Helen of Troy walks into the room.
- Oh, Helen of Troy!

That's game six! Oh, my God,
and who were these friends of yours?

- They let you get away with that?
- They had to.

- What did you say to 'em?
- I just slid my ticket across the table.

I said, "Sorry, guys.
I gotta see about a girl."

- "I gotta go see about a girl"?
- Yes!

That's what you said?
They let you get away with that?

Oh, yeah. They saw it
in my eyes that I meant it.

- You're kiddin' me?
- No, I'm not kidding you, Will.

That's why I'm not talkin' right now about
some girl I saw at a bar 20 years ago...

and how I always regretted
not goin' over and talkin' to her.

I don't regret the 18 years
I was married to Nancy.

I don't regret the six years I had
to give up counseling when she got sick,

and I don't regret the last years
when she got really sick.

And I sure as hell don't
regret missin' a damn game.

That's regret.

Wow!

Would have been nice
to catch that game though.

I didn't know Pudge
was gonna hit a home run.

You know, I'm very, very
useful on the court.

I'm extremely tall.

- You're not that tall.
- I dunk.

Will I ever play in the N.B.A.?

"It is decidedly so."
Hmph.

Why do we always stay here?

'Cause it's nicer
than my place.

Yes, but I've never
seen your place.

I know.

When am I gonna meet
your friends and your brothers?

Well, they don't really
come down here that much.

I think I can make it
to South Boston.

It's kind of a hike.

Is it me you're hiding from them
or the other way around?

- All right, we'll go.
- When?

I don't know.
We'll go sometime next week.

What if I said I would not sleep with you
again until you let me meet your friends?

I'd say it's, like, 4:30 in the mornin'.
They're probably up.

Oh, my God.
Men are shameless.

If you're not thinking with your wiener,
then you're acting directly on its behalf.

You bet. And on behalf of my wiener,
can I get an advance payment?

I don't know. Let's ask.
"Outlook does not look good."

- What? - Fuck the- Hey, Chuck.
No. Nothing. Go back to sleep.

"Outlook"? That's the same thing that
told you you was gonna play in the N.B.A.

Exactly, so look out. You'd better
start buying some season tickets.

Mmm! I plan to. I'm tall.
I like wearing shorts.

Hook, hook. Dunk, dunk.

- You're not that tall.
- Yes, I am.

Maybe I'm all
about three points.

I'm all about home runs.

Stop mixing your
sporting metaphors.

A leprechaun's got his dick
in the monkey's ass.

Morgan comes runnin' in, goin',
"I don't mind it. I don't mind-"

Well, I can't believe you brought Skylar here
when we're fuckin' all bombed and drinkin'.

I know, Morgan. It's a real rarity
we'd be all drinkin'.

My uncle Marty drinks. He'll go
on a bender for six, eight months.

Did I ever tell ya what happened to him when
he was drivin' up there and got pulled over?

- I told you guys, right?
- Marty, yeah.

Let me tell ya what happened to my uncle
Marty, because you oughta know this.

He's always tellin' stories. Every time
we come here he's got another story.

But we all heard this one.
Go ahead. Say it anyway.

I will go ahead. Thanks a lot.
Guess I have the floor now.

My uncle Marty's
drivin' home, right?

Bombed out of his tree, right? Just
hammered out of his gourd. Just wrecked.

This state trooper sees him, pulls him
over. So my uncle's fucked basically.

Got him out of the car,
tryin' to make him walk the line.

He gets out of the car, pukes, and the
statie's pretty sure he's over the legal limit.

So he's about to throw the cuffs
on him and put him in jail.

All of a sudden, 50 yards down the road,
there's this huge fuckin' boom.

- Statie gets real spooked.
He turns around- - He got shot?

No. So- So- You
heard this story before.

Yeah, Morgan, stop.
Stop.

Some other guy's car had hit a tree.
There was an accident.

Anyway-

- How could he hear-
- Shut the fuck up!

- You're drivin' him nuts.
- I'm gonna break your neck. Shut up!

He told you the story
once before.

So he tells my uncle,
"Stay here. Don't move."

Statie goes runnin' down the road
to deal with the other accident.

After a few minutes of just
lyin' in his own piss and vomit,

my uncle starts wonderin'
what he's doin' there.

Gets up, gets in his car
and just drives home.

The next mornin'
my uncle's just passed out.

He hears this knockin' at the door.

So he goes downstairs,
pulls the door open- "What?"

It's the state trooper
that pulled him over.

Statie says,
"Fuck you mean, 'What? '

You know what. I pulled you over
last night is what, and you took off."

He's like, "I never
seen you before in my life.

I've been home all night with my kids.
I don't know who the fuck you are."

He's like, "You know who I am.
Let me get in your garage."

My uncle's like, "What?" He said, "You
heard me. Let me get in your garage."

He was like, "All right. Fine." Takes
him out to the garage, opens the door.

And there's- The statie's police
cruiser is in my uncle's garage.

He was so fuckin'-

He was so fuckin' hammered
he drove the wrong car home.

The best part about it is,
the fuckin' state trooper...

was so embarrassed
he didn't do anything.

He'd been drivin' around all night in my
uncle's Chevelle, lookin' for the house.

All right, Chuck, what the fuck
is the point of your story?

He got away.
That's the point.

- Well, question-
- Come on. Stop.

- I'm tryin' to clarify somethin'.
- You're embarrassing him.

- It doesn't make any sense.
- It does make sense,

if you listen to the story
and quit askin' questions.

Well, let's see if you can get this one.
I've got a little story for you.

All right, there's an old couple
in bed, Mary and Paddie.

They wake up on the morning
of their 50th anniversary.

Mary looks over and
gazes adoringly at Paddie.

She's like,
"Oh, Jesus, Paddie.

You're such a good-looking
feller. I love ya.

I want to give ya
a little present.

Anything your little heart desires,
I'm goin' to give it to ya.

What would ya like?

Paddie's like, "Oh, gee, Mary.
That's a very sweet offer.

Now, in 50 years, there's one thing
that's been missing,

and, uh, I would like you
to give me a blow job.

I would like for it."
Mary's like, "All right."

She takes her teeth out, puts 'em in
the glass. She gives him a blow job.

Afterwards, Paddie's like, "Yeah, geez,
now that's what I've been missin'.

That was the most beautiful,
earth-shattering thing ever!

Beautiful, Mary!
I love ya!

Is there anything
that I can do for you?"

Mary looks up to him and she goes,
"Give us a kiss."

- Oh!
- Oh, my God!

- That's filthy.
- It's not that filthy. I've heard filthy.

- Get off of me!
- All right. See you guys later.

All right.
Take it easy, Bill.

So, Skylar,
thanks for comin' by.

Changed my opinion
of Harvard people.

You don't want to rush to judgment on
that one, 'cause they're not all like me.

Oh. I'm sure.
It was nice to meet ya.

- Oh.
- Take it easy. Slowly back away.

- Oh, come on. Brother.
- I don't know what you're doin', dude.

- You're givin' us a ride.
- What the fuck do I look like to you?

- Come on, Chuck.
- You're walkin', bitch. Will's takin' the car.

All right, thanks, sucker.
I appreciate it.

I don't know what you're
gettin' all serious about.

- You're droppin' me off first.
- It's really out of the way.

Oh, okay. Just 'cause you don't have to
sleep in your one-room palace tonight...

don't start
thinkin' you're bad.

Hey, wait a minute. You said
we were gonna see your place.

- Not tonight.
- Oh, no, not tonight. Not any other night.

He knows once you see that shit-hole
he's gettin' dropped like a bad habit.

But I wanted to meet
your brothers.

We're gonna do that
another time.

All right.

Need them keys.

The stewardess hears this
and goes haulin' ass down the aisle.

I yell,
"Don't forget the coffee."

No shit!
You didn't say that.

For Christ's sake, Marty,
it's a joke.

- I know someone that actually happened to, Marty.
- A joke.

- Gerry.
- Hi.

- Have trouble findin' the place?
- No, I took a cab.

Timmy, this is Gerry.
We went to college together.

How you doin'?
Nice to meet ya.

- Pleased to meet you.
- Can I get you a beer?

Um, no, just a Perrier.

That's French
for club soda.

- Club soda, yeah.
- Couple of sandwiches too.

- Sure.
- Put it on my tab.

You ever plannin'
on payin' your tab?

Yeah, chief, got the winning
lottery ticket right here.

- What's the jackpot?
- Twelve million.

- I don't think that'll cover it.
- It'll cover your sex change operation.

- Nuts?
- No, thank you.

So, you wanted
to talk about Will.

- Well, it seems to be going well.
- I think so.

Have you talked to him
at all about his future?

No, we haven't gotten into that yet.
We're still bangin' away at the past.

Maybe you should. My phone's been
ringing off the hook with job offers.

- What kind?
- Cutting edge mathematics, think tanks.

The kind of place where a mind
like Will's is given free rein.

That's great that there are offers, but
I don't really think he's ready for that.

I'm not sure
you understand, Sean.

- What don't I understand?
- Here you go, guys.

- Thanks, Tim.
- Yeah, thank you.

Just so you don't
get sticky fingers.

Tim, can you help us?

We're tryin'
to settle a bet.

Uh-oh.

- Ever heard of Jonas Salk?
- Sure. Cured polio.

- Ever heard of Albert Einstein?
- Hey.

How about Gerald Lambeau?
Ever heard of him?

- No.
- Thank you, Tim.

- So who won the bet?
- I did.

This isn't about me, Sean.

I'm nothing compared
to this young man.

You ever hear of
Gerald Lambeau?

In 1905 there were hundreds of professors
renown for their study of the universe.

But it was a 26-year-old
Swiss patent clerk,

doing physics in his spare time,
who changed the world.

Can you imagine if Einstein
would have given that up...

just to get drunk with his buddies
in Vienna every night.

We all would have
lost something.

Tim would never
have heard of him.

- Pretty dramatic, Gerry.
- No, it isn't, Sean.

This boy has that gift.

He just doesn't got the direction,
but we can give that to him.

Hey, Gerry, in the 1960s, there was a young
man graduated from University of Michigan.

Did some brilliant work
in mathematics.

Specifically,
bounded harmonic functions.

Then he went on to Berkeley. He was
assistant professor. Showed amazing potential.

Then he moved to Montana, and
he blew the competition away.

- Yeah, so who was he?
- Ted Kaczynski.

Haven't heard of him.

- Hey, Timmy!
- Yo!

- Who's Ted Kaczynski?
- Unabomber.

That's exactly
what I'm talking about.

- We gotta give this kid direction.
- Yeah-

He can contribute to the world,
and we can help him do that.

Direction's one thing.
Manipulation's another.

- Sean-
- We have to let him find-

I'm not sitting at home every night
twisting my mustache and hatching a plan...

to ruin this boy's life!

I was doing advanced mathematics
when I was 18,

and it still took me over 20 years to do
something worthy of a Field's medal.

Maybe he doesn't want
what you want.

There's more to life
than a fuckin' Field's medal.

This is too important, Sean,
and it's above personal rivalry.

Wait a minute.
Let's talk about the boy.

Why don't we give him time
to figure out what he wants?

That's a wonderful theory, Sean.
It worked wonders for you, didn't it?

Yeah, it did,
you arrogant fuckin' prick!

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry
that I came here today.

I came here out of courtesy.
I wanted to keep you in the loop.

Nice to be in the loop.

The boy's in a meeting right now
I set up for him over at McNeil.

Well, Will, I'm not exactly sure
what you mean.

We've already
offered you a position.

Nobody in this town works
without a retainer, guys.

You think you can find somebody
who does, you have my blessin'.

But I think we all know that person is
not gonna represent you as well as I can.

Will, our offer
is $84,000 a year.

Retainer!
Retainer.

You want us to give you
cash right now?

Whoa-ho-ho. Easy-
Now, I didn't say that.

Allegedly,
your situation, for you,

would be concurrently
improved if I had...

$200 in my back pocket
right now.

I don't think I can- Larry?

- I've got $73.
- Will you take a check?

Let me tell you somethin'.
You're suspect.

Yeah, you. I don't know
what your reputation is in this town,

but after the shit
you tried to pull today,

you can bet
I'll be lookin' into you.

Now, any business
we have heretofore,

you can speak with
my aforementioned attorney.

Good day, gentlemen.

And until that day comes,
keep your ear to the grindstone.

- How's it goin'?
- Fine.

Yeah.

Good.

- Want some help?
- No!

Come on. Give me one little peek,
and we'll go to the batting cages.

No.

It is actually important
that I learn this.

- It's really important... to me, okay?
- All right.

- Why don't we just hang out here all day?
- Yes, why don't we?

All right, Mr. Nosey Parker.

Seeing as you're intent
on breaking my balls,

- let me ask you a question.
- All right.

Do you have
a photographic memory?

I don't know. I just kind of remember. I
mean, how do you remember your phone number?

You just do.

- Have you studied organic chemistry?
- A little bit.

- Oh, just for fun?
- Yeah, for kicks.

Yeah, it's so much fun
studying organic chemistry.

Are you mad?

Have you completely
lost your mind?

Nobody studies it for fun. It's not a
necessity, especially for someone like you.

- Someone like me?
- Yeah.

Someone who divides their time, fairly
evenly, between batting cages and bars.

- I would hardly say it was a necessity.
- Oh.

You know, there are very
smart people here at Harvard.

Even they have to study,
because this is really hard.

And yet... you do it
so easily. I don't understand.

I don't understand
how your mind works.

- Did you play the piano?
- I want to talk about this.

No, I'm trying to explain it to you.
Do you play the piano?

- Yeah, a bit.
- So when you look at a piano, you see Mozart.

- I see "Chopsticks."
- All right, well, Beethoven, okay?

He looked at a piano, and it just
made sense to him. He could just play.

- So what are you saying? You play the piano?
- Not a lick.

I look at a piano, I see a bunch of
keys, three pedals and a box of wood.

But Beethoven, Mozart-
They saw it. They could just play.

I couldn't paint you a picture. I
probably can't hit the ball out of Fenway.

- And I can't play the piano. - But you
can do my O- chem paper in under an hour.

Right. Well, I mean, when it came to
stuff like that, I could always just play.

That's the best
I can explain it.

- Come here. I have to tell you something.
- Huh?

- I have to tell you something.
- Oh.

Well-

- It's not fair.
- What's not fair? What?

I've been here for four years,

and I've only just found you.

Well, you found me.

- Are you awake?
- No.

Yes, you are.

What?

I want you to come
to California with me.

- You sure about that?
- Oh, yeah.

Yeah, but how do you know?

I don't know.
I just know.

Yeah, but how do you know?

I know because I feel it.

- Because that's a really serious thing you're saying.
- I know.

You could be in California
next week...

and you might find out
something about me you don't like.

Maybe you wish
you hadn't said that,

but you know it's such a serious thing
you can't take it back.

Now I'm stuck in California with someone
that doesn't really want to be with me,

- just wish they had a take-back.
- A what? What's a take-back?

I don't want a take-back. I just want
you to come to California with me.

Well, I can't go to
California with you, so-

Why not?

Well, one, because
I got a job here.

And, two,
because I live here.

Look, um, if you don't love me,
you should just tell me.

I'm not sayin'
I don't love you.

Then why? Why won't you come?
What are you so scared of?

What am I so scared of?

Well, what aren't
you scared of?

You live in this safe little world
where no one challenges you-

Don't tell me about my world.
Don't tell me about my world.

You just want to have your little fling
with the guy from the other side of town.

Then you're gonna go off to Stanford.
You're gonna marry some rich prick...

who your parents
will approve of...

and just sit around with
the other trust fund babies...

and talk about how you
went slummin', too, once.

Why are you saying this?
What is your obsession with this money?

My father died when I was 13,
and I inherited this money.

You don't think every day I wake up,
and I wish I could give it back.

That I would give it back in a second if
it meant I could have one more day with him.

But I can't, and that's
my life, and I deal with it.

So don't put your shit on me
when you're the one that's afraid.

I'm afraid? What am I afraid of?
What the fuck am I afraid of?

You're afraid of me. You're afraid
that I won't love you back.

You know what?
I'm afraid too.

But fuck it, I want to give it a shot.
At least I'm honest with you.

- I'm not honest with you?
- No, what about your 12 brothers?

All right.

No, you're not going.
You're not leaving.

What do you want to know? That I don't
have 12 brothers? That I'm a fuckin' orphan?

- You don't want to hear that.
- I didn't know that.

You don't want to hear I got fuckin'
cigarettes put out on me when I was little.

- I didn't know that.
- That this isn't fuckin' surgery.

The motherfucker stabbed me. You don't
want to hear that shit, Skylar!

- I do want to hear that.
- Don't tell me you want that shit!

- I want to help you.
- Help me? What the fuck?

What do I got, a fuckin' sign
on my back that says, "Save me"?

- No.
- Do I look like I need that?

- No, I just want to be with you-
- Don't bullshit me!

- I love you.
- Don't bullshit me! Don't you fuckin' bullshit me!

I love you.

I want to hear you say
that you don't love me.

Because if you say that...

then I won't call you...

and I won't be in your life.

I don't love you.

Most people never get to see
how brilliant they can be.

They don't find teachers
that believe in them.

They get convinced
they're stupid.

I hope you appreciate
what he's doing,

because I've seen how much
he enjoys working with you,

not against you.

Hello, Will.

Tom, can you get us
some coffee?

Sure.

Now, let's see.

Good. This is correct.

I see you used Maclaurin here.

Yeah, I don't know what
you call it, but-

This can't be right.

This would be
very embarrassing.

- Did you ever consider-
- I'm pretty sure it's right.

Hey, look, can we do this
at Sean's office from now on?

Because I got to knock off work to come
here and the commute is killin' me.

- Yeah, sure. Did you think of
the possibility- - That's right.

It's right.
Just take it home with you.

What happened
at the McNeil meeting?

I couldn't go.
I had a date.

So I sent my
chief negotiator.

On your own time, you can do
whatever you like, Will.

But when I set up a meeting
with my associates,

and you don't show up,
it reflects poorly on me.

- Then don't set up any more meetings.
- I won't.

I'll cancel 'em.

I'll give you a job myself. I just
wanted you to see what was out there.

Maybe I don't want to spend the rest of
my fuckin' life explainin' shit to people.

I think you could show me
some appreciation.

A little appreciation?
Do you know how easy this is for me?

Do you have any fuckin' idea how easy
this is? This is a fuckin' joke.

I'm sorry you can't do this-
I really am-

Because I wouldn't have to fuckin' sit here
and watch you fumble around and fuck it up.

Then you'd have more time to sit around
and get drunk instead, wouldn't you?

You're right. This is probably
a total waste of my time.

You're right, Will.

I can't do this proof,
but you can.

And when it comes to that, it's only about
just a handful of people in the world...

who can tell the difference
between you and me.

- But I'm one of them.
- Sorry.

Yeah, so am I.

Most days I wish
I never met you,

because then I could
sleep at night.

I didn't have to walk around with the knowledge
that there was someone like you out there.

I didn't have to watch you
throw it all away.

Bill, hold it. Did you hear that?

Morgan!

If you're watchin' pornos in my mom's room
again, I'm gonna give you a fuckin' beatin'!

What's up, fellas?

Morgan, why don't you jerk off in your
own fuckin' house. That's fuckin' filthy.

I don't have a V.C.R.
In my house.

Come on. Not in my glove.

I didn't use the glove.

That's my
Little League glove.

What do you want me
to do?

I mean, what's wrong
with you?

You'll hump
a baseball glove?

I-I just used it
for cleanup.

Stop jerkin' off in my mother's room.

- Is there another V.C.R. In the house?
- It's just sad, bro.

So why do you think I should work
for the National Security Agency?

Well, you'd be working
on the cutting edge.

You'd be exposed to the kind of
technology you wouldn't see anywhere else,

because we've classified it.

Superstring theory,
chaos math, advanced algorithms.

Code breaking.

That's one aspect
of what we do.

Oh, come on.
That is what you do.

You guys handle 80% of
the intelligence workload.

You're seven times
the size of the C.I.A.

We don't like to brag about that, Will,
but you're exactly right.

So the way I see it,
the question isn't:

"Why should you work
for the N.S.A.?"

The question is:
"Why shouldn't you?"

Why shouldn't
I work for the N.S.A.?

That's a tough one,
but I'll take a shot.

Say I'm workin' at the N.S.A.
And somebody puts a code on my desk.

Something no one else
can break.

Maybe I take a shot at it
and maybe I break it.

I'm real happy with myself
because I did my job well.

But maybe that code was the location of some
rebel army in North Africa or Middle East.

Once they have that location, they bomb
the village where the rebels are hidin'.

Fifteen hundred people that I never met,
never had no problem with, get killed.

Now the politicians are saying, "Send in
the Marines to secure the area,"

'cause they don't give a shit.

It won't be their kid
over there gettin' shot,

just like it wasn't them when their number got
called 'cause they were in the National Guard.

It'll be some kid from Southie
over there takin' shrapnel in the ass.

He comes back to find the plant
he used to work at...

got exported to the country
he got back from,

and the guy who put the shrapnel
in his ass got his old job...

'cause he'll work for 15 cents
a day and no bathroom breaks.

Meanwhile, he realizes the only reason
he was over there in the first place...

was so we could install a government
that would sell us oil at a good price.

Of course, the oil companies used a skirmish
over there to scare up domestic oil prices.

A cute little ancillary benefit for them, but
it ain't helpin' my buddy at 2.50 a gallon.

They're takin' their sweet time
bringin' the oil, of course.

Maybe they even took the liberty
to hire an alcoholic skipper,

who likes to drink martinis and fuckin'
play slalom with the icebergs.

It ain't too long till
he hits one, spills the oil...

and kills all the sea life
in the North Atlantic.

So now my buddy's out of work,
he can't afford to drive,

so he's walkin' to
the fuckin' job interviews...

which sucks because the shrapnel in his
ass is givin' him chronic hemorrhoids.

Meanwhile, he's starvin', 'cause every
time he tries to get a bite to eat,

the only blue plate special
they're servin'...

is North Atlantic scrod
with Quaker State.

So what did I think?
I'm holdin' out for somethin' better.

I figure, fuck it. While I'm at it,
why not just shoot my buddy,

take his job,
give it to his sworn enemy,

hike up gas prices, bomb
a village, club a baby seal,

hit the hash pipe
and join the National Guard?

I can be
elected president.

- You feel like you're alone?
- What?

Do you have a soul mate?

Do I have a-
Define that.

Somebody who challenges you.

- Uh, Chuckie.
- No, Chuckie's family. He'd lie down in fuckin' traffic for you.

I'm talking about someone who opens
up things for you, touches your soul.

- I got- I got-
- Who?

- I got plenty.
- Well, name 'em.

Shakespeare, Nietzsche, Frost,
O'Connor, Kant, Pope, Locke-

That's great.
They're all dead.

- Not to me they're not.
- You don't have a lot of dialogue with them.

You can't give back
to them, Will.

- Not without some serious smelling salts and a heater.
- That's what I'm saying.

You'll never have that kind
of relationship in a world...

where you're always afraid
to take the first step,

because all you see is every
negative thing ten miles down the road.

- You gonna take the professor's side on this?
- Don't give me a line of shit.

- No.
- I didn't want the job.

It's not about the job. I don't care
if you work for the government.

But you can do anything you want.
You are bound by nothing.

What are you passionate about?
What do you want?

There are guys who work
their entire life layin' brick...

so their kids have a chance
at the opportunities you have here.

- I didn't ask for this.
- No.

You were born with it, so don't cop out
behind: "I didn't ask for this."

- What do you mean, cop out? What's wrong with layin' brick?
- Nothing.

There's nothin' wrong.
That's somebody's home I'm buildin'.

Right. My dad
laid brick, okay?

Busted his ass so
I could have an education.

Exactly. That's
an honorable profession.

What's wrong with
fixin' somebody's car?

Someone will get to work the next day
because of me. That's honor in that.

Yeah, there is, Will.
There is honor in that.

There's honor in takin'
that 40-minute train ride...

so those college kids could come in in
the morning and their floors are clean.

- And their wastebaskets are empty. That's real work.
- That's right.

And that's honorable. I'm sure
that's why you took that job.

I mean, for the honor of it.

I just have a little question here.
You could be a janitor anywhere.

Why did you work at the most prestigious
technical college in the whole fuckin' world?

Why did you sneak around at night
and finish other people's formulas...

that only one or two people in the world
could do and then lie about it?

'Cause I don't see
a lot of honor in that, Will.

So what do you
really wanna do?

I wanna be a shepherd.

Really?

I wanna move up to Nashua, get a nice little
spread, get some sheep and tend to them.

- Maybe you should go do that.
- What?

You know, if you're gonna jerk off, why don't
you just do it at home with a moist towel?

- You're chuckin' me?
- Yeah, get the fuck outta here.

- No, no, no, time's not up yet.
- Yeah, it is.

- I'm not leavin'. No.
- You're not gonna answer, you're wastin' my time.

I thought we were friends.

- Playtime's over, okay?
- Why are you kickin' me out?

You're lecturin' me on life?
Look at you, you fuckin' burnout.

- What winds your clock?
- Workin' with you.

Where's your soul mate? You wanna
talk about soul mates? Where is she?

- Dead.
- That's right. She's fuckin' dead.

She fuckin' dies and you just cash in
your chips and you walk away?

- At least I played a hand.
- You played a hand and you lost. You lost a big fuckin' hand.

Some people will lose a big hand like
that and have the sack to ante up again.

Look at me.
What do you wanna do?

You and your bullshit.
You got a bullshit answer for everybody.

But I ask you a very simple question and
you can't give me a straight answer,

because you don't know.

I'll see ya, Bo-peep.

- Fuck you.
- You're the shepherd.

Shepherd.

White little prick.

I just wanted to,
you know, um,

call you up,
uh, before you left, um-

I've been takin' all these
jobs interviews and stuff,

so I'm not gonna be just
a construction worker.

Well, you know, I never
really cared about that.

Yeah.

I love you.

Will?

You take care.

Will, come on.
Will!

Will, that's it!
We're done!

I'm sitting in your office
and the boy isn't here.

Well, it's ten past 5:00.

An hour and
ten minutes late.

Well, if he doesn't show up and I file
a report saying he wasn't here...

and he goes back to jail,
he won't be on my conscience.

Okay. Fine.

What's up?

Thanks.

Ah! God, that's good.

So how's your lady?

Ah, she's gone.

Gone? Gone where?

Med school.
Medical school in California.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- When was this?
- It was, like, a week ago.

That sucks.

So, uh, when are you done
with those meetings?

I think the week
after I'm 21.

They gonna hook ya up
with a job or what?

Yeah, fuckin' sit in a room and do
long division for the next 50 years.

Nah, probably make
some nice bank though.

I'm gonna be
a fuckin' lab rat.

Better than this shit.
Way outta here.

What do I want a way
outta here for?

I mean, I'm gonna fuckin'
live here the rest of my life.

You know, be neighbors.
You know, have little kids.

Fuckin' take 'em to Little League
together up Foley Field.

Look, you're my best friend,
so don't take this the wrong way.

But in 20 years if
you're still livin' here,

comin' over to my house
to watch the Patriots games,

still workin' construction,
I'll fuckin' kill ya.

That's not a threat. That's a fact.
I'll fuckin' kill ya.

What the fuck
are you talkin' about?

- Look, you got something none of us have.
- Oh, come on!

Why is it always this? I fuckin'
owe it to myself to do this or that.

- What if I don't want to?
- No, no, no. Fuck you. You don't owe it to yourself.

You owe it to me,

'cause tomorrow I'm gonna
wake up and I'll be 50,

and I'll still
be doin' this shit.

That's all right.
That's fine.

I mean, you're sittin' on
a winnin' lottery ticket.

You're too much of a pussy
to cash it in, and that's bullshit.

'Cause I'd do fuckin' anything
to have what you got.

So would any of
these fuckin' guys.

Be an insult to us
if you're still here in 20 years.

Hangin' around here
is a fuckin' waste of your time.

- You don't know that.
- I don't?

- No. You don't know that.
- Oh, I don't know that. Let me tell you what I do know.

Every day I come by your house,
and I pick you up.

We go out and have a few drinks
and few laughs, and it's great.

You know what the
best part of my day is?

It's for about ten seconds: From when I pull
up to the curb and when I get to your door.

'Cause I think maybe I'll get up there and
I'll knock on the door and you won't be there.

No "good-bye," no "see ya later."
No nothing. You just left.

I don't know much,
but I know that.

This is a disaster, Sean.

I brought you in here because
I wanted you to help me with the boy,

- not to run him out.
- I know what I'm doing with the boy.

I don't care if you have
a rapport with the boy!

I don't care if you have a few laughs,
even at my expense.

- But don't you dare undermine what I'm trying to do here.
- Undermine?

This boy is at
a fragile point right now.

I do understand. He is at
a fragile point. He's got problems.

What problems does he have? That he's
better off as a janitor, in jail?

Better hanging out with
a bunch of retarded gorillas?

Why do you think he does that?
You have any fuckin' clue why?

He can handle the problems. He can
handle the work. He obviously handled you.

Listen to me.
Why is he hiding?

Why doesn't
he trust anybody?

Because the first thing
that happened to him,

he was abandoned by the people
who were supposed to love him the most.

Don't give me
that Freudian crap.

Why does he hang out with those
retarded gorillas, as you call them?

Because any one of them, if he asked
them to, would take a bat to your head.

- That's called loyalty.
- Yeah, that's very touching.

Who's he handling? He pushes people away
before they have a chance to leave him.

It's a defense mechanism,
all right?

For 20 years, he's been
alone because of that.

If you push him right now, it's gonna
be the same thing all over again.

I'm not gonna
let that happen to him.

- Don't you do that.
- What?

Don't infect him with the idea that it's
okay to quit, that it's okay to be a failure.

Because it's not okay, Sean!

And if you're angry at me for being
successful, for being what you could have been-

- I'm not angry at you.
- Oh, yes, you're angry at me.

You resent me, but I'm not gonna
apologize for any success I've had.

You're angry at me for doing
what you could have done!

But ask yourself, Sean-
Ask yourself...

if you want Will to feel that way-
if you want him to feel like a failure?

You arrogant shit!

That's why I don't come to the goddamn reunions,
'cause I can't stand that look in your eye.

- That condescending, embarrassed look.
- Oh, come on, Sean.

You think I'm a failure.
I know who I am.

I'm proud of what I do. It was
a conscious choice. I didn't fuck up!

And you and your cronies think
I'm some sort of pity case.

You and your kiss-ass chorus following
you around going, "The Field's medal!"

Why are you still so
fuckin' afraid of failure?

It's about my medal, isn't it? Oh, God, I could
go home and get it for you. You can have it.

Shove the medal up
your fuckin' ass, all right?

'Cause I don't give
a shit about your medal,

because I knew you before
you were a mathematical god,

when you were pimple-faced and homesick and
didn't know what side of the bed to piss on.

Yeah, you were smarter than me then
and you're smarter than me now.

So don't blame me for
how your life turned out.

I don't blame you!
It's not about you!

You mathematical dick!
It's about the boy!

He's a good kid! And I won't see you fuck him
up like you're tryin' to fuck up me right now.

I won't see you make him
feel like a failure too!

- He won't be a failure!
- But if you push him! If you ride him!

I am what I am today because I was pushed
and because I learned to push myself.

He's not you!
You get that!

I can come back.

No, come in.
Uh, I was just leaving.

A lot of that stuff goes back
a long way between me and him.

You know. Not about you.

What is that?

This is your file. I have to send it
back to the judge for evaluation.

Oh. Hey, you're not
gonna fail me, are you?

What's it say?

- Wanna read it?
- Why?

Have you had any, uh,
experience with that?

Twenty years of counseling.
Yeah, I've seen some pretty awful shit.

I mean, have you had
any experience with that?

- Personally?
- Yeah.

Yeah, I have.

It sure ain't good.

My father was an alcoholic.

Mean fuckin' drunk.

He'd come home hammered,
lookin' to whale on somebody.

So I'd provoke him so he wouldn't go
after my mother and little brother.

Interesting nights
when he wore his rings.

He used to just
put a wrench,

a stick and a belt
on the table.

- Just say, "Choose."
- Well, I gotta go with the belt there.

I used to go with the wrench.

Why the wrench?

'Cause fuck him, that's why.

- Your foster father?
- Yeah.

So, uh, what is it, like,
Will has an attachment disorder?

Is it all that stuff?

Fear of abandonment?

Is that why I broke up
with Skylar?

- I didn't know you had.
- Yeah, I did.

- You wanna talk about it?
- No.

Hey, Will,
I don't know a lot.

You see this?
All this shit?

It's not your fault.

Yeah, I know that.

Look at me, son.

- It's not your fault.
- I know.

No. It's not
your fault.

I know.

No, no, you don't.
It's not your fault.

- Hmm?
- I know.

- It's not your fault.
- All right.

It's not your fault.

- It's not your fault.
- Don't fuck with me.

It's not your fault.

Don't fuck with me, all right?
Don't fuck with me, Sean, not you.

It's not your fault.

It's not your fault.

My God-

My God! I'm so sorry!
My God!

Fuck them, okay?

- Can I help you?
- Yeah, I'm Will Hunting. I'm here about a position.

Could you just have
a seat for a moment?

Yes, there's
a Mr. Hunting in the lobby.

Which one did you take?

I was over at McNeil. It's one of
the jobs the professor set me up with.

I haven't told him yet, but I went
down there and talked to my boss-

My new boss.
He seemed like a good guy.

- Is that what you want?
- Yeah, you know, I think so.

Well, good for you.
Congratulations.

Thanks.

Time's up.

So that's- So that's it?
So we're done?

Yeah, that's it.

You're done.
You're a free man.

Well, um, I just want you
to know, Sean, that-

You're welcome, Will.

So, you know, I hope
we keep in touch, you know.

Yeah, me too.

I'll be travelin' around a bit.
It'll be a little hard, but, uh-

I've got an answering machine at
the college I'll be checking in with.

So, here's the number.

You call that.
I'll get back to you right away.

Yeah, you know,
I figured I'm just gonna...

put my money back on the table
and see what kind of cards I get.

You do what's in your heart,
son. You'll be fine.

- Thank you, Sean.
- Uh-

Thank you, Will.

Hey, does this violate
the patient-doctor relationship?

Naw. Only if you
grab my ass.

- Take care.
- You too.

Yeah.

Hey.

Good luck, son.

Two beers.

What's up?
Did you guys go?

No. I had to talk him down.

- Why didn't you yoke him?
- Little Morgan's got a lot of scrap to him.

People try to whip
his ass every week.

- Fuckin' kid won't back down.
- What are you sayin' about me?

- Was I talkin' to you?
None of your fuckin' business.

- Go get me a beer.
- I ordered two beers!

- Hey, asshole.
- What, bitch?

- Happy birthday.
- Thought we forgot, huh, bitch?

- Come on!
- I'm goin'. I'm goin'.

All right. Who's first?

- Come on, motherfucker!
- Who's first?

Here's your present.

- Come on, bro.
- What?

Well, we knew you had to get back and
forth to Cambridge for your new job.

I knew I wasn't gonna fuckin'
drive you every day, so-

- Morgan wanted to get you a "T" pass.
- That's not what I was sayin'!

But, uh, you're 21 now.

You're legally allowed to drink, so we
figured the best thing for ya was a car.

- How do you like it?
- This is like-

It's the ugliest fuckin' car
I've ever seen in my life.

- Come on, brother.
- How'd you guys do this?

You know, me and Bill
scraped together the parts,

and Morgan was out panhandlin'
for change every day.

I had the router to do
all the bodywork.

Yeah, I have a fuckin' job,
too, brother.

Guy's been up my ass for two years about
a job. I had to let him help with the car.

So you finally got a job,
huh, Morgan?

- Yeah, had one. Now I'm fucked again.
- So what is it?

- A lawn mower? What do ya got?
- It's a straight fuckin' six.

Me and Bill rebuilt
this engine ourselves here.

It's a good car.
The engine's good. Engine's good.

- Happy 21, Will.
- Happy 21, brother.

Hi.

Come on in.

Sean, I, um-

Me too, Gerry.

Yeah. Good.

I heard you're
takin' some time.

Yeah. Travel a little bit,
maybe write.

So where are you going?

India and China
and Baltimore.

Oh.

You know when
you'll be back?

Oh. I got this flyer
the other day.

It says, uh, class of '72
is having a reunion in six months.

Yeah, I got
one of those too.

Why don't you come?
I'll buy ya a drink.

The drinks at
those things are free.

I know, Gerry.
I was being ironical.

- Oh.
- How about a drink right now?

Yeah. It's a good idea.

Come on.
This one's on me.

- I got the winner right here, pal.
- Oh!

Yes, sir, this is the one.

This is my ticket
to paradise.

Do you know what the odds
are against winning the lottery?

- What? Four to one?
- About 30 million to one.

I still have a shot, you know?

Yes, just about as big chance as you being hit
by lightning here on the staircase right now.

It's a possibility too. I mean,
32 million. If you look at the size-

Will!

Will?

He's not there.

Sean, if
the professor calls about that job,

just tell him sorry,
I had to go see about a girl.

Will.

Son of a bitch.
He stole my line.

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