All language subtitles for Ghosted.S01E14.720p.WEB.x264-TBS[eztv]-eng

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese Download
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian Download
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,100 --> 00:00:03,133 Ah. 2 00:00:03,168 --> 00:00:04,868 Who would have done this? 3 00:00:04,903 --> 00:00:08,223 Effective immediately, I am taking over as director of this department. 4 00:00:08,248 --> 00:00:10,549 I can't even confirm that his badge is authentic. 5 00:00:10,584 --> 00:00:12,651 Listen, you messed up. You got demoted... it happens. 6 00:00:12,686 --> 00:00:14,830 Oh, I know who bugged the office. 7 00:00:15,001 --> 00:00:16,577 Kenneth Lanier. 8 00:00:16,779 --> 00:00:19,617 The same dude who funded the documentary They Came from Space. 9 00:00:19,642 --> 00:00:20,791 (MUFFLED SCREAM) 10 00:00:21,657 --> 00:00:22,949 - (BOTH LAUGHING) - What? 11 00:00:22,985 --> 00:00:25,852 I just noticed you don't have on your wedding ring. 12 00:00:26,304 --> 00:00:29,204 Anyway... (STAMMERS) I just wanted to... 13 00:00:29,229 --> 00:00:30,339 Maybe. 14 00:00:31,005 --> 00:00:32,472 (DOGS BARKING) 15 00:00:33,343 --> 00:00:35,783 And this light you saw, can you describe it? 16 00:00:35,808 --> 00:00:37,441 You've never seen light before? 17 00:00:37,469 --> 00:00:40,036 Excuse... Is that tape? 18 00:00:40,145 --> 00:00:41,377 It keeps out the spiders. 19 00:00:41,621 --> 00:00:42,663 How? 20 00:00:42,701 --> 00:00:43,724 With the sticky. 21 00:00:43,749 --> 00:00:45,584 And how did the light move? 22 00:00:45,918 --> 00:00:47,684 I don't know. I guess it was attached to a ship. 23 00:00:47,720 --> 00:00:49,820 Right, not what made it move but, 24 00:00:49,855 --> 00:00:51,722 like, what direction? 25 00:00:51,757 --> 00:00:53,891 Up, then back, then forward, then up really high. 26 00:00:55,432 --> 00:00:56,958 (CHUCKLING): You're kind of short. 27 00:00:56,965 --> 00:00:58,746 How does the sticky stop the spiders? 28 00:00:58,771 --> 00:00:59,910 Taste of their own medicine. 29 00:00:59,945 --> 00:01:02,446 So, you saw the light in a field... 30 00:01:02,481 --> 00:01:04,781 Over the field. You stupid? 31 00:01:04,817 --> 00:01:06,650 No, but you are. 32 00:01:06,685 --> 00:01:07,718 LEROY: So the spider thinks, 33 00:01:07,753 --> 00:01:09,519 "This is what it's like to be caught in a web"? 34 00:01:09,555 --> 00:01:11,922 The spider thinks, "Oh, no, this woman is a giant spider, 35 00:01:11,957 --> 00:01:13,490 and I better not mess with it." 36 00:01:13,525 --> 00:01:15,022 MAX: How did you hear about us? 37 00:01:15,047 --> 00:01:17,814 From The New York Times. Or, from where I'm from, The Times. 38 00:01:18,516 --> 00:01:19,815 (TIMER BEEPS, DOGS BARKING) 39 00:01:19,899 --> 00:01:22,804 Ooh, my spider soup is ready. 40 00:01:24,883 --> 00:01:28,960 synced and corrected by susinz *www.addic7ed.com* 41 00:01:28,985 --> 00:01:30,532 LEROY: ♪ Girls hit your hallelujah ♪ 42 00:01:30,557 --> 00:01:32,590 - MAX: ♪ Hey ♪ - ♪ Girls hit your hallelujah ♪ 43 00:01:32,615 --> 00:01:34,315 - ♪ Ho! ♪ - ♪ Girls hit your hallelujah ♪ 44 00:01:34,340 --> 00:01:35,540 - ♪ Yeah ♪ - ♪ 'Cause uptown ♪ 45 00:01:35,565 --> 00:01:36,822 BOTH: ♪ Funk gonna give it to you! ♪ 46 00:01:36,843 --> 00:01:38,464 ♪ 'Cause uptown funk's gonna give it to you! ♪ 47 00:01:38,489 --> 00:01:39,655 You've got that down, man! 48 00:01:39,691 --> 00:01:41,029 It's so exciting. We're gonna see him. 49 00:01:41,054 --> 00:01:42,625 - BOTH: Tonight! - Ooh-hoo! 50 00:01:42,660 --> 00:01:44,904 We're just going to the concert, like it's no big deal. 51 00:01:44,951 --> 00:01:46,751 I'm telling you, he puts on a show, man. 52 00:01:46,786 --> 00:01:48,920 I can't wait. Can't wait. Uh... 53 00:01:48,955 --> 00:01:51,522 Oh, you know, I wanted to, uh... 54 00:01:51,558 --> 00:01:52,857 This is kind of weird, just because 55 00:01:52,893 --> 00:01:54,459 I'm not really a signal guy. 56 00:01:54,494 --> 00:01:55,760 - You know? - Signal guy? 57 00:01:55,795 --> 00:01:57,795 Yeah, like, I never did the sock on the doorknob. 58 00:01:57,831 --> 00:01:59,350 Ah. Okay, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 59 00:01:59,375 --> 00:02:01,566 But, if at a certain point tonight 60 00:02:01,601 --> 00:02:04,278 you see me do this... 61 00:02:04,351 --> 00:02:05,503 - Jazz hands. - Right. 62 00:02:05,538 --> 00:02:08,706 Maybe give, uh, Annie and I a moment? 63 00:02:08,742 --> 00:02:11,809 - A moment for you and Annie? - Yeah, I don't know, it's... 64 00:02:11,845 --> 00:02:14,181 You know, it's been a while since we checked in 65 00:02:14,206 --> 00:02:15,678 - on each other's vibes... - Oh. 66 00:02:15,694 --> 00:02:17,781 - You know. - I thought that was done and buried. 67 00:02:17,806 --> 00:02:19,873 Well, she's been on my mind, 68 00:02:19,909 --> 00:02:22,576 and, uh... I don't know. Whatever. 69 00:02:22,611 --> 00:02:24,014 I probably won't make a move tonight. 70 00:02:24,194 --> 00:02:25,612 I don't think you should. 71 00:02:26,267 --> 00:02:27,648 What? Why? 72 00:02:27,683 --> 00:02:28,782 - (TIRE BLOWS OUT) - Whoa! 73 00:02:28,817 --> 00:02:29,886 Oh, my God. 74 00:02:29,911 --> 00:02:31,544 - Whoa! - Hold on, hold on! 75 00:02:34,282 --> 00:02:36,624 We need to change this fast, get back on the road. 76 00:02:36,977 --> 00:02:39,794 Or we could change it in the time it takes to change it. 77 00:02:43,424 --> 00:02:45,900 Hey, what did you mean I shouldn't ask out Annie? 78 00:02:46,461 --> 00:02:48,627 Ah, you know, coworkers. 79 00:02:48,663 --> 00:02:50,663 Things get tricky with everything going on. 80 00:02:50,698 --> 00:02:54,467 Right. Is this because of the jazz hands? 81 00:02:54,502 --> 00:02:55,668 'Cause it's not a big deal at all. 82 00:02:55,703 --> 00:02:57,236 I could totally come up with another signal. 83 00:02:57,271 --> 00:02:58,571 You know, like, uh... 84 00:02:58,606 --> 00:03:00,272 something less Broadway, you know? 85 00:03:00,308 --> 00:03:01,987 Like, uh... Like, uh... 86 00:03:04,345 --> 00:03:06,212 - Is that a teapot? - It's a teapot. 87 00:03:06,247 --> 00:03:09,415 That's right. I could work that into a conversation. 88 00:03:09,450 --> 00:03:11,317 I don't think I can make it tonight. 89 00:03:11,352 --> 00:03:12,618 (PHONE RINGING) 90 00:03:13,337 --> 00:03:14,553 Okay, it's the restaurant confirming 91 00:03:14,589 --> 00:03:16,222 our reservation for tonight. 92 00:03:16,257 --> 00:03:18,290 Hello. Can you hold on one second? 93 00:03:18,326 --> 00:03:19,915 Are we still a party of three, or... 94 00:03:19,954 --> 00:03:21,042 (SIGHS) 95 00:03:22,419 --> 00:03:23,645 No. 96 00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:25,557 Okay, Leroy, listen, 97 00:03:26,178 --> 00:03:28,478 I can't keep Petite Poire on hold forever, man. 98 00:03:28,513 --> 00:03:30,246 That's a very romantic restaurant. 99 00:03:30,282 --> 00:03:31,541 Is it? 100 00:03:32,661 --> 00:03:34,019 How about this? 101 00:03:34,566 --> 00:03:37,001 If you want to go out with someone, you ask her out, 102 00:03:37,026 --> 00:03:39,356 the two of you go, and we'll call that 103 00:03:39,391 --> 00:03:42,292 Max's private romantic life. 104 00:03:42,327 --> 00:03:45,428 Okay. Confirmed. Yeah, we'll see you tonight. 105 00:03:45,464 --> 00:03:47,497 Now, it's a patio table, right? 106 00:03:47,532 --> 00:03:50,400 Great. All right. 107 00:03:51,347 --> 00:03:52,455 Whoa. 108 00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:55,271 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 109 00:03:55,307 --> 00:03:58,141 Oh, check this out. I'm gonna send this to Annie. 110 00:03:58,389 --> 00:04:00,233 She's a butterfly nut. 111 00:04:04,009 --> 00:04:05,280 Max... 112 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:13,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 113 00:04:26,323 --> 00:04:27,626 - Did you... - I slept with Annie. 114 00:04:27,657 --> 00:04:28,710 ...see that? 115 00:04:29,425 --> 00:04:30,457 Huh. 116 00:04:35,986 --> 00:04:39,188 So, like, you and Annie? Or... 117 00:04:39,223 --> 00:04:41,356 I know it's kind of a bomb to drop on you, 118 00:04:41,392 --> 00:04:43,358 and I was looking for the right time to tell you, 119 00:04:43,394 --> 00:04:46,061 but then the UFO happened... 120 00:04:46,096 --> 00:04:48,030 Yeah, no, it's cool. I mean... 121 00:04:48,065 --> 00:04:49,198 You know, Annie and I never dated. 122 00:04:49,233 --> 00:04:50,614 - We were never even a thing. - Right, right. 123 00:04:50,639 --> 00:04:52,866 So, who cares? 124 00:04:56,106 --> 00:04:58,373 We may have seen an alien ship, like, a spaceship. 125 00:04:58,409 --> 00:05:01,420 Us! Paranormal investigators. 126 00:05:02,146 --> 00:05:03,979 - What are the odds, right? - Unbelievable. 127 00:05:04,014 --> 00:05:05,881 So, were you guys, like, on a date, or...? 128 00:05:05,916 --> 00:05:07,916 Max. Max, let's not go down this road. 129 00:05:07,952 --> 00:05:09,117 - It only happened one time. - Going down a road? 130 00:05:09,153 --> 00:05:10,319 - I'm just asking you a question. - No. Wha... Max. 131 00:05:10,354 --> 00:05:11,987 I just didn't want to hide it from you. 132 00:05:12,022 --> 00:05:13,322 Yeah. No, and I'm glad you told me. 133 00:05:13,357 --> 00:05:15,023 - Like, I love having this info. - Yeah. 134 00:05:15,059 --> 00:05:16,091 - You know? - Good. 135 00:05:19,230 --> 00:05:21,230 - ♪ Girls hit your hallelujah ♪ - (SOFTLY): ♪ Hey ♪ 136 00:05:21,265 --> 00:05:23,198 - ♪ Girls hit your hallelujah ♪ - ♪ Eh ♪ 137 00:05:23,234 --> 00:05:25,901 ♪ It's Saturday night, and we're in the spot... ♪ 138 00:05:30,313 --> 00:05:31,919 Sorry if I was a bad lover. 139 00:05:31,944 --> 00:05:32,932 It's just that, since the election, 140 00:05:32,957 --> 00:05:34,874 I can only climax in the fetal position. 141 00:05:35,012 --> 00:05:37,312 Shut up. Why are you after me, Lanier? 142 00:05:37,354 --> 00:05:38,819 And why did you bug the Bureau? 143 00:05:38,844 --> 00:05:40,965 We weren't in the room. All right! 144 00:05:40,986 --> 00:05:43,462 I'm part of an organization called the Triangle Group. 145 00:05:43,487 --> 00:05:45,420 Yeah, don't be confused by the hexagon logo. 146 00:05:45,455 --> 00:05:47,855 It was just a big, wild meeting that went sideways. 147 00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:49,048 Why are you targeting me? 148 00:05:49,073 --> 00:05:51,807 And why did you bring that Merv Minette in to replace me?! 149 00:05:51,832 --> 00:05:54,667 I don't know who that is or what you're talking about. Ha-ha! 150 00:05:55,065 --> 00:05:59,000 Ah... Now, I get to ask you a question. 151 00:05:59,036 --> 00:06:01,202 Who's the...? Oh, no, wait. 152 00:06:01,238 --> 00:06:04,005 What's the...? Oh. Uh, why could, uh...? 153 00:06:04,041 --> 00:06:06,007 Give me that, you idiot. 154 00:06:06,614 --> 00:06:08,176 All right... 155 00:06:09,525 --> 00:06:11,046 so there was no conspiracy against me. 156 00:06:11,081 --> 00:06:13,738 I, I just got demoted because... 157 00:06:16,253 --> 00:06:17,712 Oh, I'm sorry. 158 00:06:17,947 --> 00:06:19,914 You want to hear the kookiest part of all this? 159 00:06:20,629 --> 00:06:22,223 They're already here. 160 00:06:22,259 --> 00:06:23,737 Who's already here? 161 00:06:23,793 --> 00:06:26,285 We. We're already here. 162 00:06:28,572 --> 00:06:32,030 Okay, we're not saying for sure that this is an alien craft 163 00:06:32,055 --> 00:06:34,639 that you're about to see, but we have a pretty good... 164 00:06:34,664 --> 00:06:36,598 No, no, you're about to see it. You want to see it? 165 00:06:36,633 --> 00:06:37,857 SASHA: Let's just watch it, please. 166 00:06:37,882 --> 00:06:39,515 Here we go. 167 00:06:39,540 --> 00:06:41,956 - Excellent camerawork from this one. - Thank you. 168 00:06:42,071 --> 00:06:43,437 BIRD: That's a butterfly, I think. 169 00:06:43,462 --> 00:06:45,262 - Why would you film a butterfly? - BARRY: Boring! 170 00:06:45,287 --> 00:06:46,551 Heckle, heckle, bang the gong. 171 00:06:46,576 --> 00:06:48,443 Guys, it's not about the butterfly. Okay? 172 00:06:48,478 --> 00:06:51,813 I mean, yes, it's very exciting to see a tiger swallowtail 173 00:06:51,838 --> 00:06:53,227 - this early in the season. Okay? - Rare. 174 00:06:53,252 --> 00:06:55,285 I get it, but just keep watching. 175 00:06:56,486 --> 00:06:57,485 Whoa. 176 00:06:57,520 --> 00:06:58,847 Oh, my God. 177 00:06:58,872 --> 00:06:59,913 MAX: It's zigzagging. 178 00:06:59,938 --> 00:07:01,910 - LINDA: Whoa, no way. - BIRD: Could be a punctured balloon. 179 00:07:01,935 --> 00:07:03,230 DAVEY: My wife cannot find out about this. 180 00:07:03,255 --> 00:07:04,388 That was definitely something. 181 00:07:04,413 --> 00:07:06,600 - Did you get closer? - LEROY: Watch this turn. 182 00:07:06,625 --> 00:07:09,371 - It's probably just a drone. - Nothing can move like that. 183 00:07:09,466 --> 00:07:11,232 - That was no drone. - MAX: Right? 184 00:07:11,268 --> 00:07:12,533 - (ON VIDEO): Did you... - LEROY: I slept with Annie. 185 00:07:12,569 --> 00:07:14,276 - ...see that? - (WHISPERING): Turn it off. 186 00:07:14,844 --> 00:07:17,702 Turn... off. Max. 187 00:07:19,129 --> 00:07:20,932 LEROY (ON VIDEO): You hear me? Max. 188 00:07:20,957 --> 00:07:22,013 - LEROY: Turn it off. - MAX: I can't... 189 00:07:22,038 --> 00:07:23,337 - (ON VIDEO): Max. - (ON VIDEO): Yeah, I heard you. 190 00:07:23,362 --> 00:07:24,962 LEROY: Still want to make a move, 191 00:07:24,987 --> 00:07:26,600 at least you know everything. 192 00:07:33,763 --> 00:07:35,309 BIRD: Watch it again? 193 00:07:35,334 --> 00:07:36,549 Start right after the UFO leaves? 194 00:07:36,574 --> 00:07:37,873 - Yeah. - I think so, yeah... 195 00:07:37,898 --> 00:07:39,875 - (INDISTINCT CHATTER) - MERV: Hey, that-that's enough. 196 00:07:40,036 --> 00:07:41,102 That's enough. 197 00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:42,392 No one's watching anything. 198 00:07:42,946 --> 00:07:45,273 When I was your age, we didn't have TV at work. 199 00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:47,031 Just find out the real explanation. 200 00:07:47,056 --> 00:07:48,378 DAVEY: For the UFO? 201 00:07:48,403 --> 00:07:50,405 Or the Leroy-Annie thing? 202 00:07:50,430 --> 00:07:51,745 ANNIE AND LEROY: The UFO. 203 00:07:51,869 --> 00:07:53,422 MERV: The thing on the video. 204 00:07:53,432 --> 00:07:55,715 For the love of God, don't call it a UFO. 205 00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:57,310 Makes us sound stupid. 206 00:07:57,750 --> 00:07:59,310 (QUIETLY): So, how was it? 207 00:07:59,335 --> 00:08:00,465 Sasha. 208 00:08:00,524 --> 00:08:03,431 It just seems to me like you didn't have to tell him at all. 209 00:08:03,456 --> 00:08:06,090 To not to tell him would've been unfair to all three of us. 210 00:08:06,125 --> 00:08:07,817 How would it have been unfair to me? 211 00:08:08,017 --> 00:08:09,360 Okay, to me and Max, then, 212 00:08:09,395 --> 00:08:11,228 but I just wanted to include you. 213 00:08:11,264 --> 00:08:12,984 Well, you have made things really hard for me. 214 00:08:13,009 --> 00:08:14,572 He was gonna ask you out. 215 00:08:14,597 --> 00:08:16,930 So? What does that have to do with you? 216 00:08:18,371 --> 00:08:20,537 Okay, sure. 217 00:08:20,573 --> 00:08:21,680 (SIGHS) 218 00:08:25,144 --> 00:08:26,398 (ELEVATOR BELL CHIMES) 219 00:08:35,421 --> 00:08:36,551 MERV: Ava. 220 00:08:36,576 --> 00:08:37,641 Taking off? 221 00:08:37,666 --> 00:08:38,984 Just coming back, actually. 222 00:08:39,009 --> 00:08:41,776 Of course. You were missed. 223 00:08:41,801 --> 00:08:43,640 Maybe it's a good thing that you're here, 224 00:08:43,665 --> 00:08:45,370 in this office. 225 00:08:45,945 --> 00:08:49,516 Perhaps I haven't been fair about recognizing that. 226 00:08:49,551 --> 00:08:52,213 Was that one of the steps you learned at your mental spa? 227 00:08:52,238 --> 00:08:53,597 I just hope that none of my actions 228 00:08:53,622 --> 00:08:56,356 have compromised our mission in any way. 229 00:08:56,381 --> 00:08:59,118 Worst case scenario... you scared off a ghost or two, 230 00:08:59,143 --> 00:09:01,435 but we'll be fine. 231 00:09:10,481 --> 00:09:12,415 Uh, look. I'm here if you need me, so, you know, 232 00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:13,944 I know this place inside and out, and frankly... 233 00:09:13,969 --> 00:09:15,277 Do you know how to work that-that 234 00:09:15,302 --> 00:09:17,787 single cup pod plungey thing? 235 00:09:17,881 --> 00:09:18,880 The coffee maker? 236 00:09:18,916 --> 00:09:20,115 It's supposed to be simpler, 237 00:09:20,150 --> 00:09:21,850 but I just can't seem to figure it out. 238 00:09:24,688 --> 00:09:26,425 Well, maybe if there were, you know, 239 00:09:26,978 --> 00:09:28,753 posted, clear instructions. 240 00:09:28,778 --> 00:09:31,188 Yes, yes! You know, like, a one, two, three. 241 00:09:31,213 --> 00:09:32,675 - Brilliant. - Yep. 242 00:09:32,700 --> 00:09:33,790 Thank you. 243 00:09:34,652 --> 00:09:37,335 Ken, did you find anything from the NOAA database? 244 00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:39,285 No, nothing. 245 00:09:39,905 --> 00:09:43,598 Um, Bird, there was nothing reported from SpaceX? 246 00:09:43,633 --> 00:09:45,500 Did you say "space sex"? 247 00:09:45,535 --> 00:09:46,860 (LAUGHTER) 248 00:09:47,404 --> 00:09:49,204 ANNIE: Really? 249 00:09:49,772 --> 00:09:51,272 Okay. 250 00:09:51,308 --> 00:09:53,045 The object wasn't on any known flight path. 251 00:09:53,070 --> 00:09:54,765 It didn't come from any regional airports. 252 00:09:54,790 --> 00:09:57,689 JPL has nothing, FAA has nothing. 253 00:09:57,714 --> 00:09:59,347 I-I just don't get it. 254 00:09:59,382 --> 00:10:01,084 (CHUCKLING): Not what I heard. 255 00:10:01,585 --> 00:10:02,757 (STIFLED LAUGHTER) 256 00:10:09,359 --> 00:10:10,416 (DOOR OPENS) 257 00:10:10,660 --> 00:10:12,725 - Whoa, Ava. - Hey. 258 00:10:12,998 --> 00:10:14,358 Did you get your groove back? 259 00:10:14,564 --> 00:10:16,011 I did not. 260 00:10:16,372 --> 00:10:18,039 I heard about the UFO. 261 00:10:18,064 --> 00:10:19,497 And you and Leroy. 262 00:10:21,350 --> 00:10:22,383 (SIGHS) 263 00:10:22,499 --> 00:10:24,428 It's hard to be a woman at work. 264 00:10:28,157 --> 00:10:30,119 I want to redefine myself. 265 00:10:34,983 --> 00:10:36,249 I want to get in front of this. 266 00:10:36,540 --> 00:10:38,580 I want to know what I'm about again. 267 00:10:38,626 --> 00:10:42,778 I want people to shut up about this and move on. 268 00:10:42,805 --> 00:10:46,207 You are going to seize control. 269 00:10:46,232 --> 00:10:47,542 You got that? 270 00:10:47,567 --> 00:10:49,937 You're a freakin' badass goddess, 271 00:10:49,962 --> 00:10:52,029 and you are scared of no one. 272 00:10:52,054 --> 00:10:53,821 You will control this. 273 00:10:53,846 --> 00:10:54,878 You. 274 00:10:59,091 --> 00:11:00,337 Hmm. 275 00:11:01,413 --> 00:11:02,679 Thanks. 276 00:11:05,884 --> 00:11:07,126 - (DOOR OPENS) - No. 277 00:11:07,151 --> 00:11:08,517 Thank you. 278 00:11:09,188 --> 00:11:10,379 You're welcome. 279 00:11:11,791 --> 00:11:12,929 - Hey. - Oh, hey. 280 00:11:12,954 --> 00:11:14,254 Can I hide in here for a minute? 281 00:11:14,279 --> 00:11:15,402 - Sure. - (SIGHS) 282 00:11:16,006 --> 00:11:17,554 Hey, why the sad face, champ? 283 00:11:17,579 --> 00:11:20,380 I know I shouldn't be upset, Barry, but I am. 284 00:11:20,405 --> 00:11:21,527 Oh. 285 00:11:21,552 --> 00:11:23,618 Get rid of the word "should," just get rid of it. 286 00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:25,132 Right. 287 00:11:25,430 --> 00:11:27,916 I ought not to be upset... 288 00:11:27,951 --> 00:11:29,418 Oughtn't you? 289 00:11:30,652 --> 00:11:32,954 It's embarrassing, actually, to have this reaction. 290 00:11:32,990 --> 00:11:34,656 I never dated Annie. 291 00:11:34,691 --> 00:11:35,924 I never asked her out. 292 00:11:35,959 --> 00:11:37,826 What's this little girl saying in there? 293 00:11:37,861 --> 00:11:40,829 Tap, tap, tap. Tap. 294 00:11:40,864 --> 00:11:42,697 Sh-She's sad. 295 00:11:42,733 --> 00:11:45,767 Sad because you like Annie, and she screwed your partner. 296 00:11:45,802 --> 00:11:47,884 Okay, a-all right. 297 00:11:48,805 --> 00:11:50,138 How do I get past this? 298 00:11:50,173 --> 00:11:52,774 You have to shag somebody Leroy likes. 299 00:11:52,809 --> 00:11:53,975 That's bad advice. 300 00:11:54,011 --> 00:11:55,877 Or-or you could just get with Annie. 301 00:11:57,714 --> 00:11:59,080 Yeah, maybe I ought. 302 00:12:00,694 --> 00:12:02,536 - Hmm? - Maybe I ought. 303 00:12:06,532 --> 00:12:08,432 Oh, balls! 304 00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:09,906 So, 305 00:12:10,470 --> 00:12:11,756 I, um... 306 00:12:12,097 --> 00:12:14,398 just got off the phone with my lawyer. 307 00:12:14,423 --> 00:12:16,933 No, that's not a good way to start. Um... 308 00:12:17,763 --> 00:12:18,880 Hello. 309 00:12:20,011 --> 00:12:23,384 I... just got off the phone with a lawyer 310 00:12:23,855 --> 00:12:26,926 who says I cannot ignore complaints 311 00:12:26,951 --> 00:12:31,254 of a sexual milieu, as much as I'd like to. 312 00:12:31,279 --> 00:12:33,455 Any questions so far? 313 00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:34,513 Are you okay? 314 00:12:34,538 --> 00:12:36,505 No. Last time I had to do this, 315 00:12:36,530 --> 00:12:38,697 I was a head counselor at a camp in the Poconos. 316 00:12:39,163 --> 00:12:42,463 If anybody needs, uh, vodka, there's some in my office. 317 00:12:48,197 --> 00:12:49,490 MERV: Okay, look. 318 00:12:49,515 --> 00:12:51,240 These are difficult times. 319 00:12:51,414 --> 00:12:53,764 Everywhere you look, there's booby traps. 320 00:12:53,911 --> 00:12:55,076 You know, 321 00:12:55,101 --> 00:12:57,701 "Can you say this? Can you touch that?" 322 00:12:57,726 --> 00:12:59,189 Maybe I shouldn't have said "touch." 323 00:12:59,214 --> 00:13:00,849 Maybe you shouldn't have said "booby." 324 00:13:00,874 --> 00:13:03,104 I didn't. "Booby trap" is separate 325 00:13:03,129 --> 00:13:05,096 from, you know, chesticles... 326 00:13:05,121 --> 00:13:06,165 Who made the complaint? 327 00:13:06,190 --> 00:13:07,323 Oh, that's confidential. 328 00:13:07,348 --> 00:13:08,416 Was it Sasha? 329 00:13:08,441 --> 00:13:09,407 No. 330 00:13:09,432 --> 00:13:10,431 Ken? 331 00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:11,555 - No. - Barry? 332 00:13:11,580 --> 00:13:12,679 - No. - Davey? 333 00:13:12,956 --> 00:13:14,670 - Can't say. - Mm. 334 00:13:16,431 --> 00:13:18,046 I complained because I'm married, 335 00:13:18,071 --> 00:13:20,738 and I don't think it's fair for the single people in this office 336 00:13:20,763 --> 00:13:22,663 to be banging each other right in my face. 337 00:13:22,688 --> 00:13:23,955 LINDA: That is disgusting. 338 00:13:24,073 --> 00:13:25,108 And sad. 339 00:13:25,133 --> 00:13:27,177 - Sad is not the half of it. - MERV: Okay. 340 00:13:27,202 --> 00:13:30,087 Why don't we just say "no dating in the office," 341 00:13:30,112 --> 00:13:31,368 and we can end this thing? 342 00:13:31,393 --> 00:13:33,063 KEN: I read they have a policy at Facebook, 343 00:13:33,088 --> 00:13:36,158 where you can ask an employee out once, and if they say no, 344 00:13:36,183 --> 00:13:37,780 you can't ask them out again. 345 00:13:37,805 --> 00:13:39,771 Well, that's good. Let's do that. 346 00:13:40,023 --> 00:13:43,991 Um, but what if you have a strong suspicion that the person 347 00:13:44,016 --> 00:13:48,424 only said no because of a beard, and then you shave the beard? 348 00:13:50,127 --> 00:13:52,790 Well, then you, you get to ask again. 349 00:13:52,815 --> 00:13:56,138 So, let's say you can... you can do it twice, you know, 350 00:13:56,163 --> 00:13:59,331 providing you have some significant physical alteration. 351 00:13:59,509 --> 00:14:02,243 Can we all just agree this entire conversation 352 00:14:02,268 --> 00:14:03,534 is unnecessary? 353 00:14:03,559 --> 00:14:05,225 Oh, is it? 354 00:14:05,250 --> 00:14:06,316 - Yep. - Really? 355 00:14:06,510 --> 00:14:08,026 - Really. - All right, 'cause I was 356 00:14:08,051 --> 00:14:10,489 wondering, I don't know, what if you had a coworker 357 00:14:10,514 --> 00:14:13,381 that you considered, like, your closest friend, 358 00:14:13,406 --> 00:14:15,564 and they went on a date with another coworker... 359 00:14:15,589 --> 00:14:16,817 This is the worst code ever. 360 00:14:16,842 --> 00:14:18,692 ...who you specifically did not ask out. 361 00:14:18,959 --> 00:14:20,746 That's right. They didn't. 362 00:14:20,771 --> 00:14:22,802 - That guy didn't. - Because you were still getting 363 00:14:22,827 --> 00:14:24,077 over a failed marriage, 364 00:14:24,427 --> 00:14:25,827 which said coworker 365 00:14:25,862 --> 00:14:28,374 totally knew about because of your numerous discussions 366 00:14:28,399 --> 00:14:30,398 on the drive in to work. I'm just curious 367 00:14:30,433 --> 00:14:31,866 - what the policy is on that. - Oh, my God, make it end. 368 00:14:31,902 --> 00:14:32,961 I'm trying. 369 00:14:32,986 --> 00:14:34,753 Maybe the policy should be acceptance 370 00:14:34,778 --> 00:14:37,060 because you are a grown-up 371 00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:40,086 with full knowledge that dibs are for kids. 372 00:14:40,111 --> 00:14:42,412 The world doesn't stop because you're not ready. 373 00:14:42,437 --> 00:14:44,637 Maybe the rest of the world has a bunch of drinks 374 00:14:44,662 --> 00:14:48,572 at Campos de Oaxaca and whatever "happah, happah." 375 00:14:48,604 --> 00:14:51,405 - You guys, we saw a UFO. - MAX: Campos de Oaxaca? 376 00:14:51,430 --> 00:14:52,463 I remember that night. 377 00:14:52,488 --> 00:14:53,899 Yes, we were all there together, 378 00:14:53,930 --> 00:14:56,376 having some drinks, and you chose to go home 379 00:14:56,401 --> 00:14:58,785 and binge-watch The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. 380 00:14:58,810 --> 00:15:00,043 Well, I didn't know there was a secret plan 381 00:15:00,068 --> 00:15:01,968 for me to go home and for you to go... 382 00:15:01,993 --> 00:15:03,692 Don't get hung up on the details. 383 00:15:03,717 --> 00:15:05,150 My place, okay? We went back to my place. 384 00:15:05,175 --> 00:15:06,908 LINDA: Ooh, ouch. 385 00:15:07,637 --> 00:15:08,770 Ouchie, ouchie. 386 00:15:13,087 --> 00:15:14,693 MAX: Okay. 387 00:15:15,089 --> 00:15:18,156 Annie, can I speak with you, please? 388 00:15:18,192 --> 00:15:19,972 We're right in the middle of this. 389 00:15:21,562 --> 00:15:22,938 (OVERLAPPING WHISPERS) 390 00:15:27,501 --> 00:15:28,722 Okay. 391 00:15:31,579 --> 00:15:32,832 Um... 392 00:15:34,221 --> 00:15:35,592 Yes, it is totally 393 00:15:35,617 --> 00:15:39,552 on me for not doing this a long time ago, so here I am, 394 00:15:39,577 --> 00:15:41,462 risking it all, and, uh... 395 00:15:42,983 --> 00:15:46,051 Annie, will you go out to dinner with me? 396 00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:48,540 - No. - (LAUGHS) 397 00:15:49,784 --> 00:15:51,951 Um, right, uh... 398 00:15:51,976 --> 00:15:54,210 so let's just call it a date, and it can be any time, 399 00:15:54,235 --> 00:15:56,705 - like, dinner or whatever. - No, no. 400 00:15:56,730 --> 00:15:58,307 I'm sorry, but no. 401 00:16:00,789 --> 00:16:01,889 (SIGHS) 402 00:16:02,226 --> 00:16:03,994 - Uh... - You okay? 403 00:16:04,019 --> 00:16:05,194 Yeah. 404 00:16:06,017 --> 00:16:07,939 You know what? I'm angry, actually. 405 00:16:07,964 --> 00:16:09,098 I didn't make him... 406 00:16:09,133 --> 00:16:10,566 Um, I am angry at Leroy 407 00:16:10,601 --> 00:16:13,302 - because he makes this impossible. - It's not Leroy. 408 00:16:13,498 --> 00:16:15,699 It complicates things, wouldn't you say? 409 00:16:15,724 --> 00:16:17,272 - No! - You and Leroy 410 00:16:17,308 --> 00:16:19,375 - may be complicating it? - No. No. I... It doesn't. 411 00:16:19,410 --> 00:16:20,822 I'm sorry. No. 412 00:16:21,245 --> 00:16:22,578 But... like... (STAMMERS) 413 00:16:22,613 --> 00:16:24,819 Just months ago we were, like, flirting all the time. 414 00:16:24,844 --> 00:16:28,418 You were flirting. You're great. I just don't feel that way. 415 00:16:30,946 --> 00:16:33,883 But... you said "maybe." 416 00:16:34,443 --> 00:16:38,668 Yeah, a big chunk of maybe is no. 417 00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:40,665 Right. 418 00:16:41,688 --> 00:16:44,022 So... you're not into me? 419 00:16:44,057 --> 00:16:45,415 No. 420 00:16:46,265 --> 00:16:49,004 You're really not-not-not into me? 421 00:16:49,029 --> 00:16:53,144 I-I'm usually not this off. This is... blowing my mind. 422 00:16:53,169 --> 00:16:54,969 Is it one of those things where, like, 423 00:16:54,994 --> 00:16:57,361 you can't get close to someone that you like? 424 00:16:58,071 --> 00:16:59,924 No, I can if I want to. 425 00:17:01,226 --> 00:17:04,042 Well... all right. 426 00:17:04,077 --> 00:17:06,466 I mean, you've, you know, thrown a lot at me here, 427 00:17:06,491 --> 00:17:08,308 and, uh, I feel like, uh... 428 00:17:08,942 --> 00:17:10,170 I don't know. I'll just take some time 429 00:17:10,195 --> 00:17:11,456 and mull it over and I'll let you know. 430 00:17:11,481 --> 00:17:13,070 - Sure. Okay. - Cool. 431 00:17:13,775 --> 00:17:15,449 But if you have any other questions, 432 00:17:15,474 --> 00:17:17,574 the answer is probably no. 433 00:17:17,599 --> 00:17:18,799 - Yeah. - (DOOR OPENS) 434 00:17:21,369 --> 00:17:22,778 - (SIGHS) - (DOOR CLOSES) 435 00:17:28,540 --> 00:17:29,660 So, uh... 436 00:17:29,685 --> 00:17:31,400 - I have a question. - Not now, man. 437 00:17:31,631 --> 00:17:33,001 No, it's okay, now is good. 438 00:17:33,026 --> 00:17:34,575 I went through a very similar experience, 439 00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:35,699 and I thought it might help 440 00:17:35,735 --> 00:17:38,369 you guys to hear it. Uh, two years ago, 441 00:17:38,404 --> 00:17:41,372 I was hiking in the Pacific Crest Trail 442 00:17:41,407 --> 00:17:45,542 when I came upon the most radiant beauty I had ever seen. 443 00:17:45,578 --> 00:17:48,331 For the purposes of this story, I'll call her Sierra. 444 00:17:48,356 --> 00:17:50,481 - Is that her name? - Is that whose name? 445 00:17:50,516 --> 00:17:53,113 Sierra. -I don't know anybody by that name. 446 00:17:53,138 --> 00:17:54,303 Meeting adjourned. 447 00:17:54,328 --> 00:17:55,630 So, we walk for some distance, 448 00:17:55,655 --> 00:17:57,321 and she invites me back to her place. 449 00:17:57,356 --> 00:17:59,390 - I say, "Okay," and... - Is this a question? 450 00:18:00,562 --> 00:18:02,163 There is no bigger question. 451 00:18:02,188 --> 00:18:04,152 Also, I wasn't interrupting you 452 00:18:04,177 --> 00:18:05,562 when you were sleeping with Annie, 453 00:18:05,598 --> 00:18:08,699 so I would appreciate similar courtesy. And, uh... 454 00:18:08,734 --> 00:18:10,594 right away, 455 00:18:10,619 --> 00:18:12,361 things get heated. Um... 456 00:18:12,386 --> 00:18:16,820 It would be inappropriate for me to tell you what happened, 457 00:18:17,355 --> 00:18:20,127 but let's just say there was some French kissing, 458 00:18:20,152 --> 00:18:21,472 that's the kind with tongue. 459 00:18:21,497 --> 00:18:25,888 She used her tongue to remove her clothes and my clothes 460 00:18:25,966 --> 00:18:28,769 and she led me down to her bedroom, 461 00:18:28,794 --> 00:18:31,795 where her friend was waiting. I'm gonna call her... 462 00:18:31,831 --> 00:18:32,959 Sierra. 463 00:18:32,984 --> 00:18:37,222 And they asked me to lie facedown on a table, 464 00:18:37,247 --> 00:18:38,869 and I said, "Absolutely." 465 00:18:38,894 --> 00:18:42,305 And we put the "F" in UFO. 466 00:18:42,330 --> 00:18:43,367 And... 467 00:18:43,392 --> 00:18:45,342 about a minute later, perhaps less, 468 00:18:45,367 --> 00:18:47,804 we put the "O" in UFO. 469 00:18:47,829 --> 00:18:50,237 And I woke up in the woods 470 00:18:50,262 --> 00:18:51,292 the next morning, 471 00:18:51,317 --> 00:18:54,695 and I didn't have a belly button anymore, but I felt amazing. 472 00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:56,568 - Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew. - So... Okay. 473 00:18:56,593 --> 00:18:59,065 And ever since that night, 474 00:18:59,172 --> 00:19:00,237 - my penis... - (GIGGLES) 475 00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:03,355 ...has become magnetized but to aluminum, 476 00:19:03,380 --> 00:19:06,730 and it makes cooking difficult, 477 00:19:06,766 --> 00:19:10,458 and it makes baking impossible. 478 00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:11,597 (MAX AND LEROY LAUGHING) 479 00:19:11,622 --> 00:19:14,791 So, thank you for your supportive laughter. 480 00:19:14,816 --> 00:19:16,091 Mm-hmm. 481 00:19:30,390 --> 00:19:32,578 ♪ How can I reach you? ♪ 482 00:19:33,565 --> 00:19:34,571 ♪ Someway ♪ 483 00:19:34,596 --> 00:19:36,125 ♪ Somehow ♪ 484 00:19:37,404 --> 00:19:38,553 (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) 485 00:19:40,082 --> 00:19:42,713 ♪ I hear tales and truths ♪ 486 00:19:42,738 --> 00:19:46,308 ♪ About your hurtful ways ♪ 487 00:19:47,256 --> 00:19:49,089 ♪ Ooh ♪ 488 00:19:51,385 --> 00:19:52,999 ♪ Oh ♪ 489 00:19:53,752 --> 00:19:55,679 ♪ What you do ♪ 490 00:19:56,098 --> 00:19:57,902 ♪ Oh ♪ 491 00:19:58,467 --> 00:20:00,406 ♪ What you do ♪ 492 00:20:00,795 --> 00:20:02,795 ♪ Oh ♪ 493 00:20:03,138 --> 00:20:06,106 ♪ Oh... ♪ 494 00:20:06,816 --> 00:20:09,490 Hey, did you know that she didn't like me that way? 495 00:20:09,953 --> 00:20:11,063 No. 496 00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:14,674 B-But you know who does like you? 497 00:20:16,211 --> 00:20:18,378 The lady with the tape in her hair. 498 00:20:19,709 --> 00:20:23,342 Yeah. I slept with her, and I'm sorry for you. 499 00:20:23,367 --> 00:20:24,432 That must hurt to hear. 500 00:20:24,457 --> 00:20:25,812 It does hurt to hear. 501 00:20:26,976 --> 00:20:28,842 Spider lady trapped you up, huh? 502 00:20:30,239 --> 00:20:32,888 Well, I'm sorry about that. 503 00:20:34,463 --> 00:20:35,957 Sorry, too, man. 504 00:20:37,146 --> 00:20:38,913 LAFREY: Gross. 505 00:20:38,948 --> 00:20:41,343 My own vows weren't that romantic. 506 00:20:41,497 --> 00:20:42,763 We need to talk. 507 00:20:42,885 --> 00:20:45,080 Then Lanier started talking about this organization 508 00:20:45,114 --> 00:20:47,571 called the Triangle Group. Now, they may be based... 509 00:20:47,596 --> 00:20:48,928 - What, from the math? - What math? 510 00:20:49,005 --> 00:20:50,301 Gromov's non-Euclidean 511 00:20:50,326 --> 00:20:52,092 crystallographic theory of infinite light. 512 00:20:52,376 --> 00:20:53,541 ♪ ♪ 513 00:20:53,566 --> 00:20:56,400 Well, he-he didn't mention that, no, but, uh... 514 00:20:56,425 --> 00:20:59,660 - Oh! He did say, "We are here." - Who is here? 515 00:20:59,685 --> 00:21:03,095 If he'd said who, I probably would have led with that. 516 00:21:03,152 --> 00:21:04,118 MAX AND LEROY: We, we... 517 00:21:04,143 --> 00:21:07,344 We, we, we, we, we, we, we, we... 518 00:21:07,417 --> 00:21:08,583 That and triangle. 519 00:21:08,732 --> 00:21:10,699 BOTH: Triangle, triangle, triangle... 520 00:21:11,033 --> 00:21:14,954 Tri-angle... That's three angles. 521 00:21:15,511 --> 00:21:16,969 I never thought about that word. 522 00:21:18,087 --> 00:21:19,987 How could that never have occurred to you? 523 00:21:20,500 --> 00:21:21,934 It's not "squa-are." 524 00:21:21,959 --> 00:21:23,580 - What? - Squa-are. 525 00:21:24,088 --> 00:21:25,821 Triangle, triangle, triangle... 526 00:21:25,846 --> 00:21:27,713 - Triangles. - Triangle, triangle, triangle. 527 00:21:27,738 --> 00:21:30,009 Triangles, triangles... 528 00:21:30,034 --> 00:21:34,449 synced and corrected by susinz *www.addic7ed.com* 528 00:21:35,305 --> 00:21:41,398 Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/6fhvb Help other users to choose the best subtitles 38233

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.