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1
00:00:02,100 --> 00:00:03,133
Ah.
2
00:00:03,168 --> 00:00:04,868
Who would have done this?
3
00:00:04,903 --> 00:00:08,223
Effective immediately, I am taking over
as director of this department.
4
00:00:08,248 --> 00:00:10,549
I can't even confirm
that his badge is authentic.
5
00:00:10,584 --> 00:00:12,651
Listen, you messed up.
You got demoted... it happens.
6
00:00:12,686 --> 00:00:14,830
Oh, I know who bugged the office.
7
00:00:15,001 --> 00:00:16,577
Kenneth Lanier.
8
00:00:16,779 --> 00:00:19,617
The same dude who funded the documentary
They Came from Space.
9
00:00:19,642 --> 00:00:20,791
(MUFFLED SCREAM)
10
00:00:21,657 --> 00:00:22,949
- (BOTH LAUGHING)
- What?
11
00:00:22,985 --> 00:00:25,852
I just noticed you don't have on
your wedding ring.
12
00:00:26,304 --> 00:00:29,204
Anyway... (STAMMERS) I just wanted to...
13
00:00:29,229 --> 00:00:30,339
Maybe.
14
00:00:31,005 --> 00:00:32,472
(DOGS BARKING)
15
00:00:33,343 --> 00:00:35,783
And this light you saw,
can you describe it?
16
00:00:35,808 --> 00:00:37,441
You've never seen light before?
17
00:00:37,469 --> 00:00:40,036
Excuse... Is that tape?
18
00:00:40,145 --> 00:00:41,377
It keeps out the spiders.
19
00:00:41,621 --> 00:00:42,663
How?
20
00:00:42,701 --> 00:00:43,724
With the sticky.
21
00:00:43,749 --> 00:00:45,584
And how did the light move?
22
00:00:45,918 --> 00:00:47,684
I don't know. I guess it was
attached to a ship.
23
00:00:47,720 --> 00:00:49,820
Right, not what made it move but,
24
00:00:49,855 --> 00:00:51,722
like, what direction?
25
00:00:51,757 --> 00:00:53,891
Up, then back, then forward,
then up really high.
26
00:00:55,432 --> 00:00:56,958
(CHUCKLING): You're kind of short.
27
00:00:56,965 --> 00:00:58,746
How does the sticky stop the spiders?
28
00:00:58,771 --> 00:00:59,910
Taste of their own medicine.
29
00:00:59,945 --> 00:01:02,446
So, you saw the light in a field...
30
00:01:02,481 --> 00:01:04,781
Over the field. You stupid?
31
00:01:04,817 --> 00:01:06,650
No, but you are.
32
00:01:06,685 --> 00:01:07,718
LEROY: So the spider thinks,
33
00:01:07,753 --> 00:01:09,519
"This is what it's like
to be caught in a web"?
34
00:01:09,555 --> 00:01:11,922
The spider thinks, "Oh, no,
this woman is a giant spider,
35
00:01:11,957 --> 00:01:13,490
and I better not mess with it."
36
00:01:13,525 --> 00:01:15,022
MAX: How did you hear about us?
37
00:01:15,047 --> 00:01:17,814
From The New York Times. Or,
from where I'm from, The Times.
38
00:01:18,516 --> 00:01:19,815
(TIMER BEEPS, DOGS BARKING)
39
00:01:19,899 --> 00:01:22,804
Ooh, my spider soup is ready.
40
00:01:24,883 --> 00:01:28,960
synced and corrected by susinz
*www.addic7ed.com*
41
00:01:28,985 --> 00:01:30,532
LEROY: ♪ Girls hit your hallelujah ♪
42
00:01:30,557 --> 00:01:32,590
- MAX: ♪ Hey ♪
- ♪ Girls hit your hallelujah ♪
43
00:01:32,615 --> 00:01:34,315
- ♪ Ho! ♪
- ♪ Girls hit your hallelujah ♪
44
00:01:34,340 --> 00:01:35,540
- ♪ Yeah ♪
- ♪ 'Cause uptown ♪
45
00:01:35,565 --> 00:01:36,822
BOTH: ♪ Funk gonna give it to you! ♪
46
00:01:36,843 --> 00:01:38,464
♪ 'Cause uptown funk's
gonna give it to you! ♪
47
00:01:38,489 --> 00:01:39,655
You've got that down, man!
48
00:01:39,691 --> 00:01:41,029
It's so exciting. We're gonna see him.
49
00:01:41,054 --> 00:01:42,625
- BOTH: Tonight!
- Ooh-hoo!
50
00:01:42,660 --> 00:01:44,904
We're just going to the concert,
like it's no big deal.
51
00:01:44,951 --> 00:01:46,751
I'm telling you, he puts on a show, man.
52
00:01:46,786 --> 00:01:48,920
I can't wait. Can't wait. Uh...
53
00:01:48,955 --> 00:01:51,522
Oh, you know, I wanted to, uh...
54
00:01:51,558 --> 00:01:52,857
This is kind of weird, just because
55
00:01:52,893 --> 00:01:54,459
I'm not really a signal guy.
56
00:01:54,494 --> 00:01:55,760
- You know?
- Signal guy?
57
00:01:55,795 --> 00:01:57,795
Yeah, like, I never did the sock
on the doorknob.
58
00:01:57,831 --> 00:01:59,350
Ah. Okay, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
59
00:01:59,375 --> 00:02:01,566
But, if at a certain point tonight
60
00:02:01,601 --> 00:02:04,278
you see me do this...
61
00:02:04,351 --> 00:02:05,503
- Jazz hands.
- Right.
62
00:02:05,538 --> 00:02:08,706
Maybe give, uh, Annie and I a moment?
63
00:02:08,742 --> 00:02:11,809
- A moment for you and Annie?
- Yeah, I don't know, it's...
64
00:02:11,845 --> 00:02:14,181
You know, it's been a while
since we checked in
65
00:02:14,206 --> 00:02:15,678
- on each other's vibes...
- Oh.
66
00:02:15,694 --> 00:02:17,781
- You know.
- I thought that was done and buried.
67
00:02:17,806 --> 00:02:19,873
Well, she's been on my mind,
68
00:02:19,909 --> 00:02:22,576
and, uh... I don't know. Whatever.
69
00:02:22,611 --> 00:02:24,014
I probably won't make a move tonight.
70
00:02:24,194 --> 00:02:25,612
I don't think you should.
71
00:02:26,267 --> 00:02:27,648
What? Why?
72
00:02:27,683 --> 00:02:28,782
- (TIRE BLOWS OUT)
- Whoa!
73
00:02:28,817 --> 00:02:29,886
Oh, my God.
74
00:02:29,911 --> 00:02:31,544
- Whoa!
- Hold on, hold on!
75
00:02:34,282 --> 00:02:36,624
We need to change this fast,
get back on the road.
76
00:02:36,977 --> 00:02:39,794
Or we could change it in
the time it takes to change it.
77
00:02:43,424 --> 00:02:45,900
Hey, what did you mean
I shouldn't ask out Annie?
78
00:02:46,461 --> 00:02:48,627
Ah, you know, coworkers.
79
00:02:48,663 --> 00:02:50,663
Things get tricky
with everything going on.
80
00:02:50,698 --> 00:02:54,467
Right. Is this because
of the jazz hands?
81
00:02:54,502 --> 00:02:55,668
'Cause it's not a big deal at all.
82
00:02:55,703 --> 00:02:57,236
I could totally come up
with another signal.
83
00:02:57,271 --> 00:02:58,571
You know, like, uh...
84
00:02:58,606 --> 00:03:00,272
something less Broadway, you know?
85
00:03:00,308 --> 00:03:01,987
Like, uh... Like, uh...
86
00:03:04,345 --> 00:03:06,212
- Is that a teapot?
- It's a teapot.
87
00:03:06,247 --> 00:03:09,415
That's right. I could work that
into a conversation.
88
00:03:09,450 --> 00:03:11,317
I don't think I can make it tonight.
89
00:03:11,352 --> 00:03:12,618
(PHONE RINGING)
90
00:03:13,337 --> 00:03:14,553
Okay, it's the restaurant confirming
91
00:03:14,589 --> 00:03:16,222
our reservation for tonight.
92
00:03:16,257 --> 00:03:18,290
Hello. Can you hold on one second?
93
00:03:18,326 --> 00:03:19,915
Are we still a party of three, or...
94
00:03:19,954 --> 00:03:21,042
(SIGHS)
95
00:03:22,419 --> 00:03:23,645
No.
96
00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:25,557
Okay, Leroy, listen,
97
00:03:26,178 --> 00:03:28,478
I can't keep Petite Poire
on hold forever, man.
98
00:03:28,513 --> 00:03:30,246
That's a very romantic restaurant.
99
00:03:30,282 --> 00:03:31,541
Is it?
100
00:03:32,661 --> 00:03:34,019
How about this?
101
00:03:34,566 --> 00:03:37,001
If you want to go out with
someone, you ask her out,
102
00:03:37,026 --> 00:03:39,356
the two of you go, and we'll call that
103
00:03:39,391 --> 00:03:42,292
Max's private romantic life.
104
00:03:42,327 --> 00:03:45,428
Okay. Confirmed.
Yeah, we'll see you tonight.
105
00:03:45,464 --> 00:03:47,497
Now, it's a patio table, right?
106
00:03:47,532 --> 00:03:50,400
Great. All right.
107
00:03:51,347 --> 00:03:52,455
Whoa.
108
00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:55,271
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
109
00:03:55,307 --> 00:03:58,141
Oh, check this out.
I'm gonna send this to Annie.
110
00:03:58,389 --> 00:04:00,233
She's a butterfly nut.
111
00:04:04,009 --> 00:04:05,280
Max...
112
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:13,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
113
00:04:26,323 --> 00:04:27,626
- Did you...
- I slept with Annie.
114
00:04:27,657 --> 00:04:28,710
...see that?
115
00:04:29,425 --> 00:04:30,457
Huh.
116
00:04:35,986 --> 00:04:39,188
So, like, you and Annie? Or...
117
00:04:39,223 --> 00:04:41,356
I know it's kind of a bomb
to drop on you,
118
00:04:41,392 --> 00:04:43,358
and I was looking for
the right time to tell you,
119
00:04:43,394 --> 00:04:46,061
but then the UFO happened...
120
00:04:46,096 --> 00:04:48,030
Yeah, no, it's cool. I mean...
121
00:04:48,065 --> 00:04:49,198
You know, Annie and I never dated.
122
00:04:49,233 --> 00:04:50,614
- We were never even a thing.
- Right, right.
123
00:04:50,639 --> 00:04:52,866
So, who cares?
124
00:04:56,106 --> 00:04:58,373
We may have seen an alien ship,
like, a spaceship.
125
00:04:58,409 --> 00:05:01,420
Us! Paranormal investigators.
126
00:05:02,146 --> 00:05:03,979
- What are the odds, right?
- Unbelievable.
127
00:05:04,014 --> 00:05:05,881
So, were you guys, like,
on a date, or...?
128
00:05:05,916 --> 00:05:07,916
Max. Max, let's not go down this road.
129
00:05:07,952 --> 00:05:09,117
- It only happened one time.
- Going down a road?
130
00:05:09,153 --> 00:05:10,319
- I'm just asking you a question.
- No. Wha... Max.
131
00:05:10,354 --> 00:05:11,987
I just didn't want to hide it from you.
132
00:05:12,022 --> 00:05:13,322
Yeah. No, and I'm glad you told me.
133
00:05:13,357 --> 00:05:15,023
- Like, I love having this info.
- Yeah.
134
00:05:15,059 --> 00:05:16,091
- You know?
- Good.
135
00:05:19,230 --> 00:05:21,230
- ♪ Girls hit your hallelujah ♪
- (SOFTLY): ♪ Hey ♪
136
00:05:21,265 --> 00:05:23,198
- ♪ Girls hit your hallelujah ♪
- ♪ Eh ♪
137
00:05:23,234 --> 00:05:25,901
♪ It's Saturday night,
and we're in the spot... ♪
138
00:05:30,313 --> 00:05:31,919
Sorry if I was a bad lover.
139
00:05:31,944 --> 00:05:32,932
It's just that, since the election,
140
00:05:32,957 --> 00:05:34,874
I can only climax in the fetal position.
141
00:05:35,012 --> 00:05:37,312
Shut up. Why are you after me, Lanier?
142
00:05:37,354 --> 00:05:38,819
And why did you bug the Bureau?
143
00:05:38,844 --> 00:05:40,965
We weren't in the room. All right!
144
00:05:40,986 --> 00:05:43,462
I'm part of an organization
called the Triangle Group.
145
00:05:43,487 --> 00:05:45,420
Yeah, don't be confused
by the hexagon logo.
146
00:05:45,455 --> 00:05:47,855
It was just a big, wild meeting
that went sideways.
147
00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:49,048
Why are you targeting me?
148
00:05:49,073 --> 00:05:51,807
And why did you bring that
Merv Minette in to replace me?!
149
00:05:51,832 --> 00:05:54,667
I don't know who that is or what
you're talking about. Ha-ha!
150
00:05:55,065 --> 00:05:59,000
Ah... Now, I get to ask you a question.
151
00:05:59,036 --> 00:06:01,202
Who's the...? Oh, no, wait.
152
00:06:01,238 --> 00:06:04,005
What's the...? Oh. Uh, why could, uh...?
153
00:06:04,041 --> 00:06:06,007
Give me that, you idiot.
154
00:06:06,614 --> 00:06:08,176
All right...
155
00:06:09,525 --> 00:06:11,046
so there was no conspiracy against me.
156
00:06:11,081 --> 00:06:13,738
I, I just got demoted because...
157
00:06:16,253 --> 00:06:17,712
Oh, I'm sorry.
158
00:06:17,947 --> 00:06:19,914
You want to hear the kookiest
part of all this?
159
00:06:20,629 --> 00:06:22,223
They're already here.
160
00:06:22,259 --> 00:06:23,737
Who's already here?
161
00:06:23,793 --> 00:06:26,285
We. We're already here.
162
00:06:28,572 --> 00:06:32,030
Okay, we're not saying for sure
that this is an alien craft
163
00:06:32,055 --> 00:06:34,639
that you're about to see,
but we have a pretty good...
164
00:06:34,664 --> 00:06:36,598
No, no, you're about to see it.
You want to see it?
165
00:06:36,633 --> 00:06:37,857
SASHA: Let's just watch it, please.
166
00:06:37,882 --> 00:06:39,515
Here we go.
167
00:06:39,540 --> 00:06:41,956
- Excellent camerawork from this one.
- Thank you.
168
00:06:42,071 --> 00:06:43,437
BIRD: That's a butterfly, I think.
169
00:06:43,462 --> 00:06:45,262
- Why would you film a butterfly?
- BARRY: Boring!
170
00:06:45,287 --> 00:06:46,551
Heckle, heckle, bang the gong.
171
00:06:46,576 --> 00:06:48,443
Guys, it's not about
the butterfly. Okay?
172
00:06:48,478 --> 00:06:51,813
I mean, yes, it's very exciting
to see a tiger swallowtail
173
00:06:51,838 --> 00:06:53,227
- this early in the season. Okay?
- Rare.
174
00:06:53,252 --> 00:06:55,285
I get it, but just keep watching.
175
00:06:56,486 --> 00:06:57,485
Whoa.
176
00:06:57,520 --> 00:06:58,847
Oh, my God.
177
00:06:58,872 --> 00:06:59,913
MAX: It's zigzagging.
178
00:06:59,938 --> 00:07:01,910
- LINDA: Whoa, no way.
- BIRD: Could be a punctured balloon.
179
00:07:01,935 --> 00:07:03,230
DAVEY: My wife cannot find out
about this.
180
00:07:03,255 --> 00:07:04,388
That was definitely something.
181
00:07:04,413 --> 00:07:06,600
- Did you get closer?
- LEROY: Watch this turn.
182
00:07:06,625 --> 00:07:09,371
- It's probably just a drone.
- Nothing can move like that.
183
00:07:09,466 --> 00:07:11,232
- That was no drone.
- MAX: Right?
184
00:07:11,268 --> 00:07:12,533
- (ON VIDEO): Did you...
- LEROY: I slept with Annie.
185
00:07:12,569 --> 00:07:14,276
- ...see that?
- (WHISPERING): Turn it off.
186
00:07:14,844 --> 00:07:17,702
Turn... off. Max.
187
00:07:19,129 --> 00:07:20,932
LEROY (ON VIDEO): You hear me? Max.
188
00:07:20,957 --> 00:07:22,013
- LEROY: Turn it off.
- MAX: I can't...
189
00:07:22,038 --> 00:07:23,337
- (ON VIDEO): Max.
- (ON VIDEO): Yeah, I heard you.
190
00:07:23,362 --> 00:07:24,962
LEROY: Still want to make a move,
191
00:07:24,987 --> 00:07:26,600
at least you know everything.
192
00:07:33,763 --> 00:07:35,309
BIRD: Watch it again?
193
00:07:35,334 --> 00:07:36,549
Start right after the UFO leaves?
194
00:07:36,574 --> 00:07:37,873
- Yeah.
- I think so, yeah...
195
00:07:37,898 --> 00:07:39,875
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- MERV: Hey, that-that's enough.
196
00:07:40,036 --> 00:07:41,102
That's enough.
197
00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:42,392
No one's watching anything.
198
00:07:42,946 --> 00:07:45,273
When I was your age,
we didn't have TV at work.
199
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:47,031
Just find out the real explanation.
200
00:07:47,056 --> 00:07:48,378
DAVEY: For the UFO?
201
00:07:48,403 --> 00:07:50,405
Or the Leroy-Annie thing?
202
00:07:50,430 --> 00:07:51,745
ANNIE AND LEROY: The UFO.
203
00:07:51,869 --> 00:07:53,422
MERV: The thing on the video.
204
00:07:53,432 --> 00:07:55,715
For the love of God,
don't call it a UFO.
205
00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:57,310
Makes us sound stupid.
206
00:07:57,750 --> 00:07:59,310
(QUIETLY): So, how was it?
207
00:07:59,335 --> 00:08:00,465
Sasha.
208
00:08:00,524 --> 00:08:03,431
It just seems to me like you
didn't have to tell him at all.
209
00:08:03,456 --> 00:08:06,090
To not to tell him would've been
unfair to all three of us.
210
00:08:06,125 --> 00:08:07,817
How would it have been unfair to me?
211
00:08:08,017 --> 00:08:09,360
Okay, to me and Max, then,
212
00:08:09,395 --> 00:08:11,228
but I just wanted to include you.
213
00:08:11,264 --> 00:08:12,984
Well, you have made things
really hard for me.
214
00:08:13,009 --> 00:08:14,572
He was gonna ask you out.
215
00:08:14,597 --> 00:08:16,930
So? What does that have to do with you?
216
00:08:18,371 --> 00:08:20,537
Okay, sure.
217
00:08:20,573 --> 00:08:21,680
(SIGHS)
218
00:08:25,144 --> 00:08:26,398
(ELEVATOR BELL CHIMES)
219
00:08:35,421 --> 00:08:36,551
MERV: Ava.
220
00:08:36,576 --> 00:08:37,641
Taking off?
221
00:08:37,666 --> 00:08:38,984
Just coming back, actually.
222
00:08:39,009 --> 00:08:41,776
Of course. You were missed.
223
00:08:41,801 --> 00:08:43,640
Maybe it's a good thing
that you're here,
224
00:08:43,665 --> 00:08:45,370
in this office.
225
00:08:45,945 --> 00:08:49,516
Perhaps I haven't been fair
about recognizing that.
226
00:08:49,551 --> 00:08:52,213
Was that one of the steps
you learned at your mental spa?
227
00:08:52,238 --> 00:08:53,597
I just hope that none of my actions
228
00:08:53,622 --> 00:08:56,356
have compromised our mission in any way.
229
00:08:56,381 --> 00:08:59,118
Worst case scenario...
you scared off a ghost or two,
230
00:08:59,143 --> 00:09:01,435
but we'll be fine.
231
00:09:10,481 --> 00:09:12,415
Uh, look. I'm here
if you need me, so, you know,
232
00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:13,944
I know this place inside
and out, and frankly...
233
00:09:13,969 --> 00:09:15,277
Do you know how to work that-that
234
00:09:15,302 --> 00:09:17,787
single cup pod plungey thing?
235
00:09:17,881 --> 00:09:18,880
The coffee maker?
236
00:09:18,916 --> 00:09:20,115
It's supposed to be simpler,
237
00:09:20,150 --> 00:09:21,850
but I just can't seem to figure it out.
238
00:09:24,688 --> 00:09:26,425
Well, maybe if there were, you know,
239
00:09:26,978 --> 00:09:28,753
posted, clear instructions.
240
00:09:28,778 --> 00:09:31,188
Yes, yes! You know, like,
a one, two, three.
241
00:09:31,213 --> 00:09:32,675
- Brilliant.
- Yep.
242
00:09:32,700 --> 00:09:33,790
Thank you.
243
00:09:34,652 --> 00:09:37,335
Ken, did you find anything
from the NOAA database?
244
00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:39,285
No, nothing.
245
00:09:39,905 --> 00:09:43,598
Um, Bird, there was nothing
reported from SpaceX?
246
00:09:43,633 --> 00:09:45,500
Did you say "space sex"?
247
00:09:45,535 --> 00:09:46,860
(LAUGHTER)
248
00:09:47,404 --> 00:09:49,204
ANNIE: Really?
249
00:09:49,772 --> 00:09:51,272
Okay.
250
00:09:51,308 --> 00:09:53,045
The object wasn't
on any known flight path.
251
00:09:53,070 --> 00:09:54,765
It didn't come
from any regional airports.
252
00:09:54,790 --> 00:09:57,689
JPL has nothing, FAA has nothing.
253
00:09:57,714 --> 00:09:59,347
I-I just don't get it.
254
00:09:59,382 --> 00:10:01,084
(CHUCKLING): Not what I heard.
255
00:10:01,585 --> 00:10:02,757
(STIFLED LAUGHTER)
256
00:10:09,359 --> 00:10:10,416
(DOOR OPENS)
257
00:10:10,660 --> 00:10:12,725
- Whoa, Ava.
- Hey.
258
00:10:12,998 --> 00:10:14,358
Did you get your groove back?
259
00:10:14,564 --> 00:10:16,011
I did not.
260
00:10:16,372 --> 00:10:18,039
I heard about the UFO.
261
00:10:18,064 --> 00:10:19,497
And you and Leroy.
262
00:10:21,350 --> 00:10:22,383
(SIGHS)
263
00:10:22,499 --> 00:10:24,428
It's hard to be a woman at work.
264
00:10:28,157 --> 00:10:30,119
I want to redefine myself.
265
00:10:34,983 --> 00:10:36,249
I want to get in front of this.
266
00:10:36,540 --> 00:10:38,580
I want to know what I'm about again.
267
00:10:38,626 --> 00:10:42,778
I want people to shut up
about this and move on.
268
00:10:42,805 --> 00:10:46,207
You are going to seize control.
269
00:10:46,232 --> 00:10:47,542
You got that?
270
00:10:47,567 --> 00:10:49,937
You're a freakin' badass goddess,
271
00:10:49,962 --> 00:10:52,029
and you are scared of no one.
272
00:10:52,054 --> 00:10:53,821
You will control this.
273
00:10:53,846 --> 00:10:54,878
You.
274
00:10:59,091 --> 00:11:00,337
Hmm.
275
00:11:01,413 --> 00:11:02,679
Thanks.
276
00:11:05,884 --> 00:11:07,126
- (DOOR OPENS)
- No.
277
00:11:07,151 --> 00:11:08,517
Thank you.
278
00:11:09,188 --> 00:11:10,379
You're welcome.
279
00:11:11,791 --> 00:11:12,929
- Hey.
- Oh, hey.
280
00:11:12,954 --> 00:11:14,254
Can I hide in here for a minute?
281
00:11:14,279 --> 00:11:15,402
- Sure.
- (SIGHS)
282
00:11:16,006 --> 00:11:17,554
Hey, why the sad face, champ?
283
00:11:17,579 --> 00:11:20,380
I know I shouldn't be
upset, Barry, but I am.
284
00:11:20,405 --> 00:11:21,527
Oh.
285
00:11:21,552 --> 00:11:23,618
Get rid of the word "should,"
just get rid of it.
286
00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:25,132
Right.
287
00:11:25,430 --> 00:11:27,916
I ought not to be upset...
288
00:11:27,951 --> 00:11:29,418
Oughtn't you?
289
00:11:30,652 --> 00:11:32,954
It's embarrassing, actually,
to have this reaction.
290
00:11:32,990 --> 00:11:34,656
I never dated Annie.
291
00:11:34,691 --> 00:11:35,924
I never asked her out.
292
00:11:35,959 --> 00:11:37,826
What's this little girl saying in there?
293
00:11:37,861 --> 00:11:40,829
Tap, tap, tap. Tap.
294
00:11:40,864 --> 00:11:42,697
Sh-She's sad.
295
00:11:42,733 --> 00:11:45,767
Sad because you like Annie,
and she screwed your partner.
296
00:11:45,802 --> 00:11:47,884
Okay, a-all right.
297
00:11:48,805 --> 00:11:50,138
How do I get past this?
298
00:11:50,173 --> 00:11:52,774
You have to shag somebody Leroy likes.
299
00:11:52,809 --> 00:11:53,975
That's bad advice.
300
00:11:54,011 --> 00:11:55,877
Or-or you could just get with Annie.
301
00:11:57,714 --> 00:11:59,080
Yeah, maybe I ought.
302
00:12:00,694 --> 00:12:02,536
- Hmm?
- Maybe I ought.
303
00:12:06,532 --> 00:12:08,432
Oh, balls!
304
00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:09,906
So,
305
00:12:10,470 --> 00:12:11,756
I, um...
306
00:12:12,097 --> 00:12:14,398
just got off the phone with my lawyer.
307
00:12:14,423 --> 00:12:16,933
No, that's not a good way
to start. Um...
308
00:12:17,763 --> 00:12:18,880
Hello.
309
00:12:20,011 --> 00:12:23,384
I... just got off the phone
with a lawyer
310
00:12:23,855 --> 00:12:26,926
who says I cannot ignore complaints
311
00:12:26,951 --> 00:12:31,254
of a sexual milieu,
as much as I'd like to.
312
00:12:31,279 --> 00:12:33,455
Any questions so far?
313
00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:34,513
Are you okay?
314
00:12:34,538 --> 00:12:36,505
No. Last time I had to do this,
315
00:12:36,530 --> 00:12:38,697
I was a head counselor
at a camp in the Poconos.
316
00:12:39,163 --> 00:12:42,463
If anybody needs, uh, vodka,
there's some in my office.
317
00:12:48,197 --> 00:12:49,490
MERV: Okay, look.
318
00:12:49,515 --> 00:12:51,240
These are difficult times.
319
00:12:51,414 --> 00:12:53,764
Everywhere you look,
there's booby traps.
320
00:12:53,911 --> 00:12:55,076
You know,
321
00:12:55,101 --> 00:12:57,701
"Can you say this? Can you touch that?"
322
00:12:57,726 --> 00:12:59,189
Maybe I shouldn't have said "touch."
323
00:12:59,214 --> 00:13:00,849
Maybe you shouldn't have said "booby."
324
00:13:00,874 --> 00:13:03,104
I didn't. "Booby trap" is separate
325
00:13:03,129 --> 00:13:05,096
from, you know, chesticles...
326
00:13:05,121 --> 00:13:06,165
Who made the complaint?
327
00:13:06,190 --> 00:13:07,323
Oh, that's confidential.
328
00:13:07,348 --> 00:13:08,416
Was it Sasha?
329
00:13:08,441 --> 00:13:09,407
No.
330
00:13:09,432 --> 00:13:10,431
Ken?
331
00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:11,555
- No.
- Barry?
332
00:13:11,580 --> 00:13:12,679
- No.
- Davey?
333
00:13:12,956 --> 00:13:14,670
- Can't say.
- Mm.
334
00:13:16,431 --> 00:13:18,046
I complained because I'm married,
335
00:13:18,071 --> 00:13:20,738
and I don't think it's fair for
the single people in this office
336
00:13:20,763 --> 00:13:22,663
to be banging each other
right in my face.
337
00:13:22,688 --> 00:13:23,955
LINDA: That is disgusting.
338
00:13:24,073 --> 00:13:25,108
And sad.
339
00:13:25,133 --> 00:13:27,177
- Sad is not the half of it.
- MERV: Okay.
340
00:13:27,202 --> 00:13:30,087
Why don't we just say
"no dating in the office,"
341
00:13:30,112 --> 00:13:31,368
and we can end this thing?
342
00:13:31,393 --> 00:13:33,063
KEN: I read they have
a policy at Facebook,
343
00:13:33,088 --> 00:13:36,158
where you can ask an employee
out once, and if they say no,
344
00:13:36,183 --> 00:13:37,780
you can't ask them out again.
345
00:13:37,805 --> 00:13:39,771
Well, that's good. Let's do that.
346
00:13:40,023 --> 00:13:43,991
Um, but what if you have a
strong suspicion that the person
347
00:13:44,016 --> 00:13:48,424
only said no because of a beard,
and then you shave the beard?
348
00:13:50,127 --> 00:13:52,790
Well, then you, you get to ask again.
349
00:13:52,815 --> 00:13:56,138
So, let's say you can...
you can do it twice, you know,
350
00:13:56,163 --> 00:13:59,331
providing you have some
significant physical alteration.
351
00:13:59,509 --> 00:14:02,243
Can we all just agree
this entire conversation
352
00:14:02,268 --> 00:14:03,534
is unnecessary?
353
00:14:03,559 --> 00:14:05,225
Oh, is it?
354
00:14:05,250 --> 00:14:06,316
- Yep.
- Really?
355
00:14:06,510 --> 00:14:08,026
- Really.
- All right, 'cause I was
356
00:14:08,051 --> 00:14:10,489
wondering, I don't know,
what if you had a coworker
357
00:14:10,514 --> 00:14:13,381
that you considered,
like, your closest friend,
358
00:14:13,406 --> 00:14:15,564
and they went on a date
with another coworker...
359
00:14:15,589 --> 00:14:16,817
This is the worst code ever.
360
00:14:16,842 --> 00:14:18,692
...who you specifically did not ask out.
361
00:14:18,959 --> 00:14:20,746
That's right. They didn't.
362
00:14:20,771 --> 00:14:22,802
- That guy didn't.
- Because you were still getting
363
00:14:22,827 --> 00:14:24,077
over a failed marriage,
364
00:14:24,427 --> 00:14:25,827
which said coworker
365
00:14:25,862 --> 00:14:28,374
totally knew about because of
your numerous discussions
366
00:14:28,399 --> 00:14:30,398
on the drive in to work.
I'm just curious
367
00:14:30,433 --> 00:14:31,866
- what the policy is on that.
- Oh, my God, make it end.
368
00:14:31,902 --> 00:14:32,961
I'm trying.
369
00:14:32,986 --> 00:14:34,753
Maybe the policy should be acceptance
370
00:14:34,778 --> 00:14:37,060
because you are a grown-up
371
00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:40,086
with full knowledge
that dibs are for kids.
372
00:14:40,111 --> 00:14:42,412
The world doesn't stop
because you're not ready.
373
00:14:42,437 --> 00:14:44,637
Maybe the rest of the world
has a bunch of drinks
374
00:14:44,662 --> 00:14:48,572
at Campos de Oaxaca
and whatever "happah, happah."
375
00:14:48,604 --> 00:14:51,405
- You guys, we saw a UFO.
- MAX: Campos de Oaxaca?
376
00:14:51,430 --> 00:14:52,463
I remember that night.
377
00:14:52,488 --> 00:14:53,899
Yes, we were all there together,
378
00:14:53,930 --> 00:14:56,376
having some drinks,
and you chose to go home
379
00:14:56,401 --> 00:14:58,785
and binge-watch
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.
380
00:14:58,810 --> 00:15:00,043
Well, I didn't know
there was a secret plan
381
00:15:00,068 --> 00:15:01,968
for me to go home and for you to go...
382
00:15:01,993 --> 00:15:03,692
Don't get hung up on the details.
383
00:15:03,717 --> 00:15:05,150
My place, okay?
We went back to my place.
384
00:15:05,175 --> 00:15:06,908
LINDA: Ooh, ouch.
385
00:15:07,637 --> 00:15:08,770
Ouchie, ouchie.
386
00:15:13,087 --> 00:15:14,693
MAX: Okay.
387
00:15:15,089 --> 00:15:18,156
Annie, can I speak with you, please?
388
00:15:18,192 --> 00:15:19,972
We're right in the middle of this.
389
00:15:21,562 --> 00:15:22,938
(OVERLAPPING WHISPERS)
390
00:15:27,501 --> 00:15:28,722
Okay.
391
00:15:31,579 --> 00:15:32,832
Um...
392
00:15:34,221 --> 00:15:35,592
Yes, it is totally
393
00:15:35,617 --> 00:15:39,552
on me for not doing this
a long time ago, so here I am,
394
00:15:39,577 --> 00:15:41,462
risking it all, and, uh...
395
00:15:42,983 --> 00:15:46,051
Annie, will you go out
to dinner with me?
396
00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:48,540
- No.
- (LAUGHS)
397
00:15:49,784 --> 00:15:51,951
Um, right, uh...
398
00:15:51,976 --> 00:15:54,210
so let's just call it a date,
and it can be any time,
399
00:15:54,235 --> 00:15:56,705
- like, dinner or whatever.
- No, no.
400
00:15:56,730 --> 00:15:58,307
I'm sorry, but no.
401
00:16:00,789 --> 00:16:01,889
(SIGHS)
402
00:16:02,226 --> 00:16:03,994
- Uh...
- You okay?
403
00:16:04,019 --> 00:16:05,194
Yeah.
404
00:16:06,017 --> 00:16:07,939
You know what? I'm angry, actually.
405
00:16:07,964 --> 00:16:09,098
I didn't make him...
406
00:16:09,133 --> 00:16:10,566
Um, I am angry at Leroy
407
00:16:10,601 --> 00:16:13,302
- because he makes this impossible.
- It's not Leroy.
408
00:16:13,498 --> 00:16:15,699
It complicates things, wouldn't you say?
409
00:16:15,724 --> 00:16:17,272
- No!
- You and Leroy
410
00:16:17,308 --> 00:16:19,375
- may be complicating it?
- No. No. I... It doesn't.
411
00:16:19,410 --> 00:16:20,822
I'm sorry. No.
412
00:16:21,245 --> 00:16:22,578
But... like... (STAMMERS)
413
00:16:22,613 --> 00:16:24,819
Just months ago we were, like,
flirting all the time.
414
00:16:24,844 --> 00:16:28,418
You were flirting. You're great.
I just don't feel that way.
415
00:16:30,946 --> 00:16:33,883
But... you said "maybe."
416
00:16:34,443 --> 00:16:38,668
Yeah, a big chunk of maybe is no.
417
00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:40,665
Right.
418
00:16:41,688 --> 00:16:44,022
So... you're not into me?
419
00:16:44,057 --> 00:16:45,415
No.
420
00:16:46,265 --> 00:16:49,004
You're really not-not-not into me?
421
00:16:49,029 --> 00:16:53,144
I-I'm usually not this off.
This is... blowing my mind.
422
00:16:53,169 --> 00:16:54,969
Is it one of those things where, like,
423
00:16:54,994 --> 00:16:57,361
you can't get close
to someone that you like?
424
00:16:58,071 --> 00:16:59,924
No, I can if I want to.
425
00:17:01,226 --> 00:17:04,042
Well... all right.
426
00:17:04,077 --> 00:17:06,466
I mean, you've, you know,
thrown a lot at me here,
427
00:17:06,491 --> 00:17:08,308
and, uh, I feel like, uh...
428
00:17:08,942 --> 00:17:10,170
I don't know. I'll just take some time
429
00:17:10,195 --> 00:17:11,456
and mull it over and I'll let you know.
430
00:17:11,481 --> 00:17:13,070
- Sure. Okay.
- Cool.
431
00:17:13,775 --> 00:17:15,449
But if you have any other questions,
432
00:17:15,474 --> 00:17:17,574
the answer is probably no.
433
00:17:17,599 --> 00:17:18,799
- Yeah.
- (DOOR OPENS)
434
00:17:21,369 --> 00:17:22,778
- (SIGHS)
- (DOOR CLOSES)
435
00:17:28,540 --> 00:17:29,660
So, uh...
436
00:17:29,685 --> 00:17:31,400
- I have a question.
- Not now, man.
437
00:17:31,631 --> 00:17:33,001
No, it's okay, now is good.
438
00:17:33,026 --> 00:17:34,575
I went through
a very similar experience,
439
00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:35,699
and I thought it might help
440
00:17:35,735 --> 00:17:38,369
you guys to hear it. Uh, two years ago,
441
00:17:38,404 --> 00:17:41,372
I was hiking in the Pacific Crest Trail
442
00:17:41,407 --> 00:17:45,542
when I came upon the most
radiant beauty I had ever seen.
443
00:17:45,578 --> 00:17:48,331
For the purposes of this story,
I'll call her Sierra.
444
00:17:48,356 --> 00:17:50,481
- Is that her name?
- Is that whose name?
445
00:17:50,516 --> 00:17:53,113
Sierra. -I don't know
anybody by that name.
446
00:17:53,138 --> 00:17:54,303
Meeting adjourned.
447
00:17:54,328 --> 00:17:55,630
So, we walk for some distance,
448
00:17:55,655 --> 00:17:57,321
and she invites me back to her place.
449
00:17:57,356 --> 00:17:59,390
- I say, "Okay," and...
- Is this a question?
450
00:18:00,562 --> 00:18:02,163
There is no bigger question.
451
00:18:02,188 --> 00:18:04,152
Also, I wasn't interrupting you
452
00:18:04,177 --> 00:18:05,562
when you were sleeping with Annie,
453
00:18:05,598 --> 00:18:08,699
so I would appreciate
similar courtesy. And, uh...
454
00:18:08,734 --> 00:18:10,594
right away,
455
00:18:10,619 --> 00:18:12,361
things get heated. Um...
456
00:18:12,386 --> 00:18:16,820
It would be inappropriate for me
to tell you what happened,
457
00:18:17,355 --> 00:18:20,127
but let's just say
there was some French kissing,
458
00:18:20,152 --> 00:18:21,472
that's the kind with tongue.
459
00:18:21,497 --> 00:18:25,888
She used her tongue to remove
her clothes and my clothes
460
00:18:25,966 --> 00:18:28,769
and she led me down to her bedroom,
461
00:18:28,794 --> 00:18:31,795
where her friend was waiting.
I'm gonna call her...
462
00:18:31,831 --> 00:18:32,959
Sierra.
463
00:18:32,984 --> 00:18:37,222
And they asked me
to lie facedown on a table,
464
00:18:37,247 --> 00:18:38,869
and I said, "Absolutely."
465
00:18:38,894 --> 00:18:42,305
And we put the "F" in UFO.
466
00:18:42,330 --> 00:18:43,367
And...
467
00:18:43,392 --> 00:18:45,342
about a minute later, perhaps less,
468
00:18:45,367 --> 00:18:47,804
we put the "O" in UFO.
469
00:18:47,829 --> 00:18:50,237
And I woke up in the woods
470
00:18:50,262 --> 00:18:51,292
the next morning,
471
00:18:51,317 --> 00:18:54,695
and I didn't have a belly button
anymore, but I felt amazing.
472
00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:56,568
- Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew.
- So... Okay.
473
00:18:56,593 --> 00:18:59,065
And ever since that night,
474
00:18:59,172 --> 00:19:00,237
- my penis...
- (GIGGLES)
475
00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:03,355
...has become magnetized
but to aluminum,
476
00:19:03,380 --> 00:19:06,730
and it makes cooking difficult,
477
00:19:06,766 --> 00:19:10,458
and it makes baking impossible.
478
00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:11,597
(MAX AND LEROY LAUGHING)
479
00:19:11,622 --> 00:19:14,791
So, thank you
for your supportive laughter.
480
00:19:14,816 --> 00:19:16,091
Mm-hmm.
481
00:19:30,390 --> 00:19:32,578
♪ How can I reach you? ♪
482
00:19:33,565 --> 00:19:34,571
♪ Someway ♪
483
00:19:34,596 --> 00:19:36,125
♪ Somehow ♪
484
00:19:37,404 --> 00:19:38,553
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
485
00:19:40,082 --> 00:19:42,713
♪ I hear tales and truths ♪
486
00:19:42,738 --> 00:19:46,308
♪ About your hurtful ways ♪
487
00:19:47,256 --> 00:19:49,089
♪ Ooh ♪
488
00:19:51,385 --> 00:19:52,999
♪ Oh ♪
489
00:19:53,752 --> 00:19:55,679
♪ What you do ♪
490
00:19:56,098 --> 00:19:57,902
♪ Oh ♪
491
00:19:58,467 --> 00:20:00,406
♪ What you do ♪
492
00:20:00,795 --> 00:20:02,795
♪ Oh ♪
493
00:20:03,138 --> 00:20:06,106
♪ Oh... ♪
494
00:20:06,816 --> 00:20:09,490
Hey, did you know that she
didn't like me that way?
495
00:20:09,953 --> 00:20:11,063
No.
496
00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:14,674
B-But you know who does like you?
497
00:20:16,211 --> 00:20:18,378
The lady with the tape in her hair.
498
00:20:19,709 --> 00:20:23,342
Yeah. I slept with her,
and I'm sorry for you.
499
00:20:23,367 --> 00:20:24,432
That must hurt to hear.
500
00:20:24,457 --> 00:20:25,812
It does hurt to hear.
501
00:20:26,976 --> 00:20:28,842
Spider lady trapped you up, huh?
502
00:20:30,239 --> 00:20:32,888
Well, I'm sorry about that.
503
00:20:34,463 --> 00:20:35,957
Sorry, too, man.
504
00:20:37,146 --> 00:20:38,913
LAFREY: Gross.
505
00:20:38,948 --> 00:20:41,343
My own vows weren't that romantic.
506
00:20:41,497 --> 00:20:42,763
We need to talk.
507
00:20:42,885 --> 00:20:45,080
Then Lanier started talking
about this organization
508
00:20:45,114 --> 00:20:47,571
called the Triangle Group.
Now, they may be based...
509
00:20:47,596 --> 00:20:48,928
- What, from the math?
- What math?
510
00:20:49,005 --> 00:20:50,301
Gromov's non-Euclidean
511
00:20:50,326 --> 00:20:52,092
crystallographic theory
of infinite light.
512
00:20:52,376 --> 00:20:53,541
♪ ♪
513
00:20:53,566 --> 00:20:56,400
Well, he-he didn't mention that,
no, but, uh...
514
00:20:56,425 --> 00:20:59,660
- Oh! He did say, "We are here."
- Who is here?
515
00:20:59,685 --> 00:21:03,095
If he'd said who, I probably
would have led with that.
516
00:21:03,152 --> 00:21:04,118
MAX AND LEROY: We, we...
517
00:21:04,143 --> 00:21:07,344
We, we, we, we, we, we, we, we...
518
00:21:07,417 --> 00:21:08,583
That and triangle.
519
00:21:08,732 --> 00:21:10,699
BOTH: Triangle, triangle, triangle...
520
00:21:11,033 --> 00:21:14,954
Tri-angle... That's three angles.
521
00:21:15,511 --> 00:21:16,969
I never thought about that word.
522
00:21:18,087 --> 00:21:19,987
How could that never have
occurred to you?
523
00:21:20,500 --> 00:21:21,934
It's not "squa-are."
524
00:21:21,959 --> 00:21:23,580
- What?
- Squa-are.
525
00:21:24,088 --> 00:21:25,821
Triangle, triangle, triangle...
526
00:21:25,846 --> 00:21:27,713
- Triangles.
- Triangle, triangle, triangle.
527
00:21:27,738 --> 00:21:30,009
Triangles, triangles...
528
00:21:30,034 --> 00:21:34,449
synced and corrected by susinz
*www.addic7ed.com*
528
00:21:35,305 --> 00:21:41,398
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