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1
00:00:23,539 --> 00:00:26,582
(male voice on radio)
The I-10 Santa Monica
Freeway westbound
2
00:00:26,667 --> 00:00:28,751
is jammed due to
a three-car accident...
3
00:00:28,836 --> 00:00:31,421
blocking lanes one and two
just past Hoover Street.
4
00:00:31,505 --> 00:00:35,133
In Van Nuys there's
stop and go traffic
on the 405 southbound...
5
00:00:35,217 --> 00:00:37,218
(Emma)
Hey, loser!
Get up. You're late.
6
00:00:39,638 --> 00:00:40,930
We need money.
7
00:00:41,014 --> 00:00:42,181
For what?
8
00:00:42,266 --> 00:00:43,933
Food.
9
00:00:47,146 --> 00:00:48,646
[sighs]
10
00:00:51,734 --> 00:00:54,318
I've only got two dollars.
How much is a Happy Meal?
11
00:00:54,403 --> 00:00:55,611
Oopf.
12
00:00:55,696 --> 00:00:58,281
[light cheerful music]
13
00:00:58,365 --> 00:00:59,949
(Manager)
Good morning, Thea.
14
00:01:00,033 --> 00:01:01,492
Oh, hi.
15
00:01:01,577 --> 00:01:03,661
There's this
thing called rent.
16
00:01:03,746 --> 00:01:05,747
Monday.
You have my word.
17
00:01:05,831 --> 00:01:07,957
Could you
put your word
on an actual check?
18
00:01:08,041 --> 00:01:10,251
[cheerful music]
19
00:02:13,899 --> 00:02:17,068
(Miles)
Whoo! Look
at that foxy momma!
20
00:02:17,152 --> 00:02:18,528
Hey.
21
00:02:18,612 --> 00:02:22,240
Hey, look.
I, uh, I saved
you one of these.
22
00:02:22,324 --> 00:02:24,408
It wasn't easy.
These people
are animals.
23
00:02:24,493 --> 00:02:26,702
Thanks. It's
all downhill
after the donut.
24
00:02:26,787 --> 00:02:28,913
Hey. Let's go
camping right now.
25
00:02:28,997 --> 00:02:30,873
Oh, don't tempt
me. You know I can't.
26
00:02:30,958 --> 00:02:34,919
Come on. Don't be
such a buzz kill. Just
call in sick from work.
27
00:02:35,003 --> 00:02:37,755
Oh, Miles.
It was hard enough
getting Monday off.
28
00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:40,508
Hey. You really
need to bail on
this lame job, babe.
29
00:02:40,592 --> 00:02:44,136
Bailing isn't exactly in
my vocabulary right now.
I'm late. I'm late.
30
00:02:50,519 --> 00:02:51,686
[depressing music]
31
00:02:51,770 --> 00:02:53,396
Alarm clock
on the fritz again?
32
00:02:55,190 --> 00:02:56,691
(Jerry)
Thea.
33
00:02:56,775 --> 00:02:58,276
Thea!
34
00:03:02,614 --> 00:03:04,448
Four minutes
after nine, Thea.
35
00:03:04,533 --> 00:03:06,367
We agreed to 8:59.
36
00:03:06,451 --> 00:03:08,995
I know. I'm
sorry. I've got
your coffee piping hot.
37
00:03:09,079 --> 00:03:11,497
Greg already
got it for me.
38
00:03:11,582 --> 00:03:13,374
All right.
Let's get started.
39
00:03:13,458 --> 00:03:16,168
I found two errors
in your transcription.
40
00:03:16,295 --> 00:03:20,047
Ur-Nammu, the Mesopotamian
ruler, has a hyphen
in his name.
41
00:03:20,132 --> 00:03:23,050
Are you sure? I checked it
in Oxford English Dictionary.
42
00:03:23,135 --> 00:03:26,470
You should always
cross reference with
the Military Encyclopedia.
43
00:03:26,555 --> 00:03:28,055
It is
the definitive source.
44
00:03:28,140 --> 00:03:29,640
Absolutely right, Greg.
45
00:03:29,725 --> 00:03:32,476
The intern
shouldn't be more
thorough than you.
46
00:03:32,561 --> 00:03:36,647
You have to remember
that every mistake you
make, impacts history.
47
00:03:36,732 --> 00:03:38,649
I'm sorry
I didn't give
enough thought
48
00:03:38,734 --> 00:03:41,193
to the long
reaching impact
of a missing hyphen.
49
00:03:41,278 --> 00:03:43,529
Think of it next time,
or someone else will.
50
00:03:43,614 --> 00:03:47,033
There are
a million people out there
who'd kill for your job.
51
00:03:47,159 --> 00:03:50,661
The secretary
to the publisher, it's
a dream for so many of us.
52
00:03:50,746 --> 00:03:53,164
I have a big
project for you.
53
00:03:53,290 --> 00:03:57,001
Now, you can make
up for this morning's
mistakes by acing this one.
54
00:03:57,085 --> 00:03:58,836
Okay. What
can I do for you?
55
00:03:58,921 --> 00:04:02,465
MacArthur rolled
in some poop.
56
00:04:02,549 --> 00:04:03,841
Again?
57
00:04:03,926 --> 00:04:05,509
She's got one
good eye, Thea.
58
00:04:05,594 --> 00:04:08,888
I don't appreciate
you taking that tone. Now.
59
00:04:11,266 --> 00:04:12,975
Hi, there.
[dog whines]
60
00:04:13,060 --> 00:04:17,021
Let's really try
and nail it this
time, shall we?
61
00:04:17,105 --> 00:04:18,105
[sighs]
62
00:04:18,190 --> 00:04:19,899
[whines]
63
00:04:19,983 --> 00:04:22,401
[whines]
64
00:04:25,447 --> 00:04:27,198
No way. She
rolled in poop again?
65
00:04:27,282 --> 00:04:28,491
Uh-hm.
66
00:04:28,575 --> 00:04:30,201
How come
Greg never
washes her?
67
00:04:30,285 --> 00:04:32,828
I'm glad that I
don't have to wash
the poop off Greg
68
00:04:32,913 --> 00:04:35,915
since he spends most
of his time with his
head up Jerry's ass.
69
00:04:35,999 --> 00:04:38,960
Tell me about it.
Last week he CC'd
me on an email to Jerry
70
00:04:39,044 --> 00:04:41,879
complaining that I ordered
too many rainbow Post-Its.
71
00:04:41,964 --> 00:04:43,756
Said it creates
a party atmosphere.
72
00:04:43,840 --> 00:04:45,925
Come here, MacArthur.
73
00:04:46,009 --> 00:04:48,678
MacArthur.
[dog whines]
74
00:04:48,762 --> 00:04:51,055
Do you think we'll
ever get out of here?
75
00:04:51,139 --> 00:04:54,392
How long 'til
your little sister
graduates college?
76
00:04:54,476 --> 00:04:56,477
Five years.
Five long years.
77
00:04:56,561 --> 00:04:58,562
[sighs] Wow.
78
00:04:58,647 --> 00:05:01,440
When you finally
ditch this place
I'm gonna leave, too.
79
00:05:01,525 --> 00:05:03,693
I can't survive this
hellhole without you.
80
00:05:03,777 --> 00:05:06,779
I don't even know
if I'm gonna survive
Monday without you.
81
00:05:06,863 --> 00:05:09,156
Oh, well, your rainbow
Post-Its should help.
82
00:05:09,241 --> 00:05:11,826
[fake laugh]
Ha, ha, ha.
Just promise me
83
00:05:11,952 --> 00:05:16,288
that when you're celebrating
with Miles the big 25, you'll
have two extra shots for me.
84
00:05:16,373 --> 00:05:18,958
Done. Two for
you, two for me
85
00:05:19,042 --> 00:05:20,543
and two
for MacArthur.
86
00:05:20,627 --> 00:05:22,753
And cold
beer chasers
and a sliced lime.
87
00:05:22,838 --> 00:05:24,296
[sigh]
Gets me right here.
88
00:05:24,381 --> 00:05:26,632
[rhythmic music]
89
00:05:28,510 --> 00:05:29,969
What is MacArthur eating?
90
00:05:30,053 --> 00:05:32,847
Oh, that's not
good. Hold on.
91
00:05:32,931 --> 00:05:34,098
No, no, that's soap!
92
00:05:38,979 --> 00:05:41,230
(Garth)
Well, Thea, you are
a sopping mess.
93
00:05:41,314 --> 00:05:42,606
I know, I'm sorry.
94
00:05:42,691 --> 00:05:43,899
Well, don't apologize.
95
00:05:43,984 --> 00:05:45,609
(Carl)
This one
has two staples.
96
00:05:45,694 --> 00:05:46,736
Yeah. And?
97
00:05:46,820 --> 00:05:48,112
It's bad feng shui.
98
00:05:48,196 --> 00:05:49,697
It'd be nice
to give the agenda
99
00:05:49,781 --> 00:05:51,782
to the guy
the disability first.
100
00:05:51,867 --> 00:05:53,826
When I gave you yours
first last month,
101
00:05:53,910 --> 00:05:56,620
you reprimanded
me for giving you
special treatment.
102
00:05:56,705 --> 00:05:58,998
I don't like your giving
me special back talk.
103
00:05:59,082 --> 00:06:01,709
(Jerry)
Good morning, everyone.
Ready for Abbott?
104
00:06:01,793 --> 00:06:02,835
[ringing]
105
00:06:02,919 --> 00:06:04,295
Sorry.
106
00:06:04,379 --> 00:06:06,130
(Abbot)
Let's have another round!
107
00:06:06,214 --> 00:06:09,467
Hey, Johnny, my good man.
How's the book coming?
108
00:06:09,551 --> 00:06:10,634
(Abbot)
Jerry!
109
00:06:10,719 --> 00:06:12,845
War. What is
it good for?
110
00:06:12,929 --> 00:06:16,807
Apparently lots
of things, Jerry.
[laughs viciously]
111
00:06:16,892 --> 00:06:18,476
[whines]
112
00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:21,479
If you could just tell
us what chapter
you're up to.
113
00:06:21,563 --> 00:06:22,646
Sweet.
114
00:06:22,731 --> 00:06:24,148
(Abbot)
Pigs in the blanket
115
00:06:24,232 --> 00:06:26,317
for everybody on me.
[laughs and hangs up]
116
00:06:26,401 --> 00:06:28,778
[chuckles]
Alright, bye-bye.
[clears throat]
117
00:06:28,862 --> 00:06:30,946
(Jerry)
Hemingway used
to write in bars.
118
00:06:31,031 --> 00:06:34,825
Ah. We're so pleased
you decided to bless us
with your presence, Nicky
119
00:06:34,910 --> 00:06:37,828
Sorry, uh, bad,
bad traffic.
120
00:06:37,913 --> 00:06:40,831
Hm. Got hung
up at the divorce
lawyer's office?
121
00:06:40,916 --> 00:06:43,834
I kind of wanted that
to be private, Jerry.
122
00:06:43,919 --> 00:06:46,462
Well, well, privacy is
for people who are on time.
123
00:06:46,546 --> 00:06:48,506
(Nick)
So how's
Abbott's book coming?
124
00:06:48,590 --> 00:06:53,344
Extremely well.
There's a method
to his mad genius.
125
00:06:53,428 --> 00:06:56,847
And now we're
ready to go over
the cost report.
126
00:06:56,932 --> 00:06:58,891
Whenever you feel
like presenting it.
127
00:06:58,975 --> 00:07:00,935
(Nick)
Oh, okay.
128
00:07:01,019 --> 00:07:05,147
Sales for The Complete
History of Bullets are
below projections.
129
00:07:05,232 --> 00:07:08,567
Uh, marketing says people
have been intimidated
130
00:07:08,652 --> 00:07:10,444
by the 1400 page length.
131
00:07:10,570 --> 00:07:14,198
(Garth)
There are a lot
of bullets in the world.
We're not making it up.
132
00:07:14,282 --> 00:07:17,243
Let's talk
about the next order
of order of business.
133
00:07:17,327 --> 00:07:20,704
(Jerry)
I've given this
a lot of thought.
[dog whines]
134
00:07:20,789 --> 00:07:24,375
[sighs]
Next week's
softball game.
135
00:07:24,459 --> 00:07:28,212
Now, we're all tired
of losing to Presidio.
136
00:07:28,296 --> 00:07:30,548
So I'm moving Garth
to short stop.
137
00:07:30,632 --> 00:07:32,383
I'm not
quite finished.
138
00:07:32,467 --> 00:07:36,095
I've told you. You're
staying in left field.
We need you there.
139
00:07:36,179 --> 00:07:37,763
This isn't softball related.
140
00:07:37,848 --> 00:07:40,224
You know our
textbook writer,
Suzie Cavendish?
141
00:07:40,308 --> 00:07:41,350
Of course I know her.
142
00:07:41,434 --> 00:07:42,685
I read her new manuscript
143
00:07:42,769 --> 00:07:44,562
and I thought
it was really good.
144
00:07:44,646 --> 00:07:47,022
How did you
get a manuscript?
145
00:07:47,107 --> 00:07:49,567
I ran into her at lunch.
She told me about her book.
146
00:07:49,651 --> 00:07:52,069
You don't send
the accountant
your manuscript.
147
00:07:52,154 --> 00:07:55,531
[dog whines]
Thanks, but I've already
told Suzie it's not for us.
148
00:07:55,615 --> 00:07:57,408
It's not our
subject matter.
149
00:07:57,492 --> 00:07:59,785
[dog whines and groans]
Baby, what's wrong?
150
00:07:59,870 --> 00:08:03,164
(Jerry)
MacArthur?
[dog groans]
151
00:08:03,248 --> 00:08:06,750
What's wrong with you?
Come here, baby.
152
00:08:06,835 --> 00:08:09,420
What is wrong?
Talk to daddy.
153
00:08:09,504 --> 00:08:10,671
[whines and retches]
154
00:08:13,008 --> 00:08:14,216
(Thea)
Ew!
155
00:08:14,301 --> 00:08:16,594
(Jerry)
What did you feed her?
156
00:08:16,678 --> 00:08:18,888
I'm so so sorry
about your dog.
157
00:08:18,972 --> 00:08:22,308
I just scheduled a full body
scan for MacArthur on Monday.
158
00:08:22,392 --> 00:08:24,935
I have the day off Monday
but I'll take her Tuesday.
159
00:08:25,020 --> 00:08:26,437
You'll take her Monday.
160
00:08:26,521 --> 00:08:28,522
I asked for this time
off two months ago.
161
00:08:28,607 --> 00:08:30,691
It's just one day.
I promised my boyfriend
162
00:08:30,775 --> 00:08:32,693
we'd go camping
for his 25th birthday.
163
00:08:32,777 --> 00:08:34,320
It's his 25th birthday?
164
00:08:34,404 --> 00:08:35,613
Yeah, it is.
165
00:08:35,697 --> 00:08:37,865
God, I had no idea.
166
00:08:37,949 --> 00:08:40,451
I'm sorry. Why don't you
take the whole week off?
167
00:08:40,535 --> 00:08:41,577
Really?
168
00:08:41,661 --> 00:08:42,995
No!
[dog whines]
169
00:08:43,079 --> 00:08:45,956
Okay, no problem.
170
00:08:46,041 --> 00:08:48,125
(Lisa)
Come on, things
can't be that bad.
171
00:08:48,210 --> 00:08:51,128
Okay. Let's see
what I have to look
forward to in life.
172
00:08:51,213 --> 00:08:52,922
Washing my boss's dog.
173
00:08:53,006 --> 00:08:54,798
Blow-drying my boss's job.
174
00:08:54,883 --> 00:08:56,050
Uh-mm.
175
00:08:56,134 --> 00:08:57,885
Taking my boss's
dog for a CAT scan.
176
00:08:57,969 --> 00:08:59,803
I'm officially
a pathetic loser.
177
00:08:59,888 --> 00:09:02,723
Well, at least
we still have
Skittles and cigarettes.
178
00:09:05,393 --> 00:09:08,145
(Lisa)
Maybe you and Miles
can reschedule the weekend.
179
00:09:08,271 --> 00:09:11,774
(Thea)
Oh, yeah. I'll
see if Miles can
reschedule his birthday.
180
00:09:11,858 --> 00:09:13,651
No, maybe Jerry's
onto something.
181
00:09:13,735 --> 00:09:16,904
Who needs a significant
other when you're dating
your own dog?
182
00:09:16,988 --> 00:09:20,157
(Thea)
Jerry's repulsive.
Have you smelled
his breath lately?
183
00:09:20,242 --> 00:09:22,326
He's lucky he can get
a dog to date him.
184
00:09:22,452 --> 00:09:26,372
You know, it's one thing
if Jerry is an undersexed
jerk who takes no joy in life
185
00:09:26,456 --> 00:09:29,875
But why does he have
to make the rest of us
that way? I hate him!
186
00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:31,043
[door bangs open]
187
00:09:31,127 --> 00:09:32,169
[both gasp]
188
00:09:32,254 --> 00:09:34,964
In my office. Now!
189
00:09:36,883 --> 00:09:40,511
You've got some pretty
strong opinions about
my personal choices.
190
00:09:40,595 --> 00:09:42,680
You find my relationship
with MacArthur
191
00:09:42,764 --> 00:09:44,181
something to deride?
192
00:09:44,266 --> 00:09:46,600
Not at all.
I respect your
devotion to animals.
193
00:09:46,685 --> 00:09:48,894
You're involvement
with PETA is inspiring.
194
00:09:48,979 --> 00:09:50,104
Don't bullshit me.
195
00:09:50,188 --> 00:09:51,563
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean it.
196
00:09:51,648 --> 00:09:53,816
It was childish
and it won't happen again.
197
00:09:53,900 --> 00:09:55,651
If you hate me so much,
198
00:09:55,777 --> 00:09:59,238
I don't really think
it's healthy for you
to continue working with me.
199
00:09:59,322 --> 00:10:01,323
[gasps]
But, please.
You can't do this.
200
00:10:01,408 --> 00:10:02,408
Watch me.
201
00:10:02,492 --> 00:10:03,534
But I need this job.
202
00:10:03,618 --> 00:10:04,618
Here I go.
203
00:10:04,703 --> 00:10:05,703
I support my sister.
204
00:10:05,787 --> 00:10:06,829
You're fired.
205
00:10:06,913 --> 00:10:07,913
But I'm...
206
00:10:07,998 --> 00:10:09,873
You're what? You're?
207
00:10:09,958 --> 00:10:11,000
I'm pregnant.
208
00:10:11,084 --> 00:10:12,167
Pregnant?
209
00:10:12,252 --> 00:10:14,586
Yes, pregnant.
Totally pregnant.
210
00:10:14,671 --> 00:10:17,965
The doctor says
the chemicals or
hormones or whatever...
211
00:10:18,091 --> 00:10:22,177
are messing up my system
and you can't take anything
I say too seriously.
212
00:10:22,262 --> 00:10:24,972
Except for when
I say I'm pregnant
because, I am.
213
00:10:33,148 --> 00:10:34,273
(Thea)
Oh, God.
214
00:10:44,409 --> 00:10:45,451
When are you due?
215
00:10:45,535 --> 00:10:47,411
Octember.
I mean, October.
216
00:10:47,495 --> 00:10:48,787
October what?
217
00:10:48,872 --> 00:10:50,831
Uh, probably the 6th.
Could be the 7th,
218
00:10:50,915 --> 00:10:53,500
could be the
8th. But fingers are
crossed for the 6th
219
00:10:53,585 --> 00:10:55,669
by then I'll just want
this thing out of me.
220
00:10:55,754 --> 00:10:57,671
You're almost four
months pregnant?
221
00:10:57,756 --> 00:10:59,590
Yeah. [chuckles]
Isn't that crazy?
222
00:10:59,674 --> 00:11:03,761
Feels like yesterday
I wasn't. But I was
because I'm four months
223
00:11:03,845 --> 00:11:06,430
The legal department
is backing your story
224
00:11:06,514 --> 00:11:09,224
about not being able
to fire a pregnant woman
225
00:11:09,309 --> 00:11:13,103
no matter how much
she might deserve it.
226
00:11:13,188 --> 00:11:15,647
So get back to work.
227
00:11:15,732 --> 00:11:17,316
Thank you
so much, Jerry.
228
00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:20,986
I really appreciate
it. Thank you.
From both of us.
229
00:11:25,617 --> 00:11:30,037
Congratulations on
the baby. The entire
legal department is thrilled.
230
00:11:30,121 --> 00:11:33,499
Hey, why didn't you
tell me earlier?
Oh, I know.
231
00:11:33,583 --> 00:11:36,627
Probably because
there's so much that
can go horribly wrong.
232
00:11:36,753 --> 00:11:39,963
I mean, I'm out
of the woods. But I
do everything right.
[laughs]
233
00:11:40,048 --> 00:11:43,300
Anyway, so I'm having
my baby first, not that
it's a competition.
234
00:11:43,385 --> 00:11:45,135
But I win! [laughs]
235
00:11:45,220 --> 00:11:48,097
Anyway, no, really,
congratulations.
236
00:11:48,181 --> 00:11:51,141
Oh, Thea!
Oh, I'm so
excited for you.
237
00:11:51,226 --> 00:11:53,685
No wonder you've
been spacey lately.
[chuckles]
238
00:11:53,770 --> 00:11:55,020
(Garth)
What's going on?
239
00:11:55,105 --> 00:11:56,980
(Ann)
Everybody, Thea's pregnant!
240
00:11:57,065 --> 00:11:58,941
Don't look at me.
I never touched her.
241
00:11:59,067 --> 00:12:01,819
(Garth)
Never would have guessed.
You still look sexy.
242
00:12:01,903 --> 00:12:04,655
I had to tell everyone.
Couldn't keep it a secret.
243
00:12:04,739 --> 00:12:07,950
Of course. How can you
hide that kind of thing?
244
00:12:08,076 --> 00:12:11,829
(Carl)
I should've known. My
left knee's been hurting.
When my knee hurts,
245
00:12:11,913 --> 00:12:13,831
it usually means
someone's pregnant.
246
00:12:13,915 --> 00:12:17,835
Yeah, or they're
stuck underwater in a car.
Anyway, I'm glad it's this.
247
00:12:17,919 --> 00:12:20,462
(Garth)
So who's
the very lucky fella?
248
00:12:20,547 --> 00:12:22,965
(Lisa)
You didn't tell 'em
the rest of the news?
249
00:12:23,049 --> 00:12:24,800
Thea and Miles
are engaged!
250
00:12:24,884 --> 00:12:27,553
[all] Oh!
251
00:12:27,637 --> 00:12:30,180
(Kristen)
That's so great!
252
00:12:30,265 --> 00:12:34,768
I mean, I got married
before I got pregnant,
but better late than never.
253
00:12:34,853 --> 00:12:36,353
Whoo-hoo!
Yay for you!
254
00:12:36,438 --> 00:12:38,564
Yeah, I'm, I'm really
excited, everyone.
255
00:12:38,648 --> 00:12:42,025
Yeah, thrilled.
Over the moon.
Way over it!
256
00:12:42,110 --> 00:12:43,694
[all chuckle]
257
00:12:43,778 --> 00:12:44,862
[silence]
258
00:12:44,946 --> 00:12:46,155
Psst.
[chuckles]
259
00:12:51,828 --> 00:12:53,996
(Lisa)
Pregnant? It's brilliant.
260
00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:55,706
Where did you
come up with that?
261
00:12:55,790 --> 00:12:58,459
I saw it on an episode
of Law and Order.
262
00:12:58,543 --> 00:13:00,544
Yeah. You can't fire
a pregnant woman.
263
00:13:00,628 --> 00:13:03,213
Discrimination, lawsuits,
bad mojo, whatever.
264
00:13:03,298 --> 00:13:05,674
Smart.
265
00:13:05,758 --> 00:13:07,384
By the way,
thanks for your help.
266
00:13:07,469 --> 00:13:09,928
Pregnant wasn't bad enough.
I had to get engaged.
267
00:13:10,054 --> 00:13:13,640
Well, I didn't want
people to think you were
some kind of wayward skank.
268
00:13:13,725 --> 00:13:15,726
Is that what you
think of single mothers?
269
00:13:15,852 --> 00:13:19,396
No, of course not.
I just happen to know that
a lot of people in the office
270
00:13:19,481 --> 00:13:22,900
think you're a wayward
skank and I thought this
could turn it around.
271
00:13:23,026 --> 00:13:26,737
[sigh]
Thanks. Crap, Lisa.
What am I gonna do?
How will I get out of this?
272
00:13:26,821 --> 00:13:30,199
Can't we just
say that you know,
something happened to,
273
00:13:30,283 --> 00:13:34,077
I don't know, one
of your tubes. Sprung a leak.
274
00:13:34,162 --> 00:13:36,121
Do you know what
you're talking about?
275
00:13:36,206 --> 00:13:38,457
Let's just go along with
it for a little while
276
00:13:38,541 --> 00:13:40,459
and then we'll say
it was a false alarm.
277
00:13:40,543 --> 00:13:44,046
You thought you were
pregnant, but it turns out
you just had crabs.
278
00:13:44,130 --> 00:13:45,297
Ew.
279
00:13:52,472 --> 00:13:55,265
(Thea)
I'm so sorry, Em. I had
a crazy day at work
280
00:13:55,350 --> 00:13:58,101
and I lost track of time.
Am I too late?
281
00:13:58,186 --> 00:14:02,064
The meeting was at four
and it's five o'clock now.
You do the math.
282
00:14:02,148 --> 00:14:04,024
I'm really sorry.
283
00:14:06,110 --> 00:14:07,361
Have you been drinking?
284
00:14:07,445 --> 00:14:09,321
I had a cocktail.
285
00:14:11,074 --> 00:14:14,284
Come on. You're 17.
You should be out
drinking and smoking
286
00:14:20,041 --> 00:14:23,293
(Thea)
I'll reschedule
with your guidance
counselor next week.
287
00:14:23,419 --> 00:14:27,005
Don't bother. I already met
with Miss Talbot and we
discussed my options
288
00:14:27,090 --> 00:14:29,216
What options?
289
00:14:29,300 --> 00:14:32,678
She suggested I start
taking some cooking
classes after school.
290
00:14:32,762 --> 00:14:35,347
You have
tennis after school.
291
00:14:35,431 --> 00:14:37,683
Yeah, but I'm
sick of tennis.
292
00:14:37,809 --> 00:14:42,229
I was thinking maybe I could
go to the Culinary Institute
in San Francisco.
293
00:14:42,313 --> 00:14:44,898
No way. You're
staying right here
and going to UCLA.
294
00:14:44,983 --> 00:14:48,944
Tennis will cover the tuition
and I'm busting my ass
off to cover the rest.
295
00:14:49,070 --> 00:14:52,990
I know. You keep telling me
when Mom and Dad died,
we lost out on options.
296
00:14:53,116 --> 00:14:57,202
(Thea)
Just do me a favor, be
a grown-up and accept the
hand that you've been dealt.
297
00:14:57,287 --> 00:14:58,745
So that's
what you do?
298
00:14:58,830 --> 00:15:00,622
Yeah, that's
what I do.
299
00:15:00,748 --> 00:15:05,085
Really? 'Cause you were
at a bar instead of my
parent teacher conference.
300
00:15:13,636 --> 00:15:15,929
Oh, hello, Mr. Abbott.
301
00:15:16,014 --> 00:15:18,682
Jerry? Jerry,
where are you?
302
00:15:18,766 --> 00:15:20,183
Mr. Abbott,
can I help you?
303
00:15:20,268 --> 00:15:22,644
Is there anything
to drink in this place
304
00:15:22,729 --> 00:15:25,105
or do I have to go
to my car and get
my divining rod?
305
00:15:25,189 --> 00:15:26,898
I could get you
some water.
306
00:15:26,983 --> 00:15:30,360
Go ahead, soldier.
Three parts scotch,
one part water.
307
00:15:30,445 --> 00:15:32,362
Okay. Move, move,
move. Hey, soldier.
308
00:15:32,447 --> 00:15:33,989
What brings
you to the office?
309
00:15:34,073 --> 00:15:37,159
How are you? [chuckles]
Well, your brother
wants my book.
310
00:15:37,243 --> 00:15:40,245
Jerry's at lunch.
But Thea can take
your manuscript for you
311
00:15:40,330 --> 00:15:41,872
Who's Thea?
312
00:15:41,956 --> 00:15:44,333
Jerry's secretary.
You talk to her
every day.
313
00:15:44,459 --> 00:15:48,545
Congratulations are probably
in order. Thea has good news.
She's having a baby
314
00:15:48,630 --> 00:15:49,880
Hm.
315
00:15:49,964 --> 00:15:52,382
She looks like
she's strong stock.
316
00:15:52,467 --> 00:15:57,346
Maybe she can
give us a strong
future Marine.
317
00:15:57,430 --> 00:15:59,181
(Greg)
Thea, do you
have a minute?
318
00:15:59,265 --> 00:16:00,724
So, uh, how are you?
319
00:16:00,808 --> 00:16:02,768
Fine, thanks. You?
320
00:16:02,894 --> 00:16:07,898
Oh, I'm fine. But I'm not
the one with a magical bundle
of joy growing inside of me.
321
00:16:07,982 --> 00:16:10,942
So, no morning sickness?
No bloating?
322
00:16:11,027 --> 00:16:13,820
No. Nuh-unh. Guess
I'm just really lucky.
323
00:16:13,905 --> 00:16:15,572
A little too lucky,
if you ask me.
324
00:16:15,657 --> 00:16:16,740
Yeah.
325
00:16:16,824 --> 00:16:19,242
And uh, where
is your ring?
326
00:16:19,327 --> 00:16:21,620
Well, we...
327
00:16:21,704 --> 00:16:24,247
Her fianceé is saving
up for her ring.
328
00:16:24,332 --> 00:16:26,875
It's not very
nice to try to
embarrass people.
329
00:16:27,001 --> 00:16:30,671
So why don't you get back
to lying about yourself
on your dating websites?
330
00:16:34,175 --> 00:16:37,594
Don't worry about him.
He doesn't know anything.
He's an idiot.
331
00:16:37,679 --> 00:16:39,638
And I'm sure Greg
is still a virgin.
332
00:16:41,933 --> 00:16:43,350
(woman)
Come on, Jerry.
333
00:16:43,434 --> 00:16:44,935
Oh! Alright, Jerry.
334
00:16:45,019 --> 00:16:46,228
(Umpire)
Oh! Watch it!
335
00:16:46,312 --> 00:16:47,437
Dumbass.
336
00:16:47,522 --> 00:16:49,606
(woman)
Come on, Nick.
337
00:16:49,691 --> 00:16:51,525
(woman)
Come on Nick,
you can do it.
338
00:16:51,609 --> 00:16:52,651
[MacArthur whines]
339
00:16:52,735 --> 00:16:55,862
[all cheer Nick]
340
00:17:00,326 --> 00:17:01,410
(Umpire)
Hit it!
341
00:17:01,494 --> 00:17:02,661
Ow!
342
00:17:02,745 --> 00:17:04,746
(Umpire)
Ball. Take your base.
343
00:17:04,831 --> 00:17:06,123
(woman)
Take your base!
344
00:17:06,207 --> 00:17:08,375
(woman)
Come on, Thea.
345
00:17:08,459 --> 00:17:09,501
(man)
Come on, Thea!
346
00:17:09,585 --> 00:17:10,877
(man)
Let's go, Thea!
347
00:17:10,962 --> 00:17:12,003
[hit]
348
00:17:12,088 --> 00:17:13,630
(man)
Go, go. Home run.
349
00:17:13,715 --> 00:17:15,006
Come on, come on.
350
00:17:15,091 --> 00:17:17,175
Go, go.
Get home, get home.
351
00:17:19,137 --> 00:17:20,804
(man)
Come on, come on.
352
00:17:20,888 --> 00:17:22,514
[all continue cheering]
353
00:17:22,598 --> 00:17:23,932
Safe!
354
00:17:24,016 --> 00:17:25,726
[all cheer]
355
00:17:26,602 --> 00:17:27,644
Are you okay?
356
00:17:27,729 --> 00:17:28,895
Yeah. I'm great.
357
00:17:30,732 --> 00:17:33,400
(man)
Come on, Colonel.
You can do it.
358
00:17:33,484 --> 00:17:34,609
(woman)
You got it!
359
00:17:34,694 --> 00:17:35,652
Great.
360
00:17:35,737 --> 00:17:36,820
(Jerry)
Thea.
361
00:17:36,904 --> 00:17:39,740
Kristen. Come
here, please now.
362
00:17:39,824 --> 00:17:43,869
(Jerry)
You shouldn't be playing
in your condition.
363
00:17:43,953 --> 00:17:45,078
What condition?
364
00:17:45,163 --> 00:17:46,747
Your baby.
365
00:17:46,831 --> 00:17:48,790
(Garth)
Lisa, get your
ass out on base?
366
00:17:48,875 --> 00:17:50,041
Of course.
367
00:17:50,126 --> 00:17:52,210
We are taking you
out. For the season.
368
00:17:52,295 --> 00:17:53,420
[sighs]
369
00:17:53,504 --> 00:17:55,922
All season.
370
00:17:57,842 --> 00:18:00,302
(woman)
Come on!
371
00:18:00,386 --> 00:18:01,803
Hey, thanks
for the RBI.
372
00:18:01,888 --> 00:18:03,930
Yeah, well,
no more RBIs.
373
00:18:04,015 --> 00:18:07,642
Jerry says I'm
a liability, so I can't
play 'cause I'm pregnant.
374
00:18:07,727 --> 00:18:10,729
Sounds like the most
reasonable opinion
he's had in years.
375
00:18:11,773 --> 00:18:13,523
[all]
Oh!
376
00:18:13,608 --> 00:18:15,650
[all cheer]
377
00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:22,282
Yes!
378
00:18:25,661 --> 00:18:26,703
[dog barks]
379
00:18:31,250 --> 00:18:32,542
[dog whines]
380
00:18:32,627 --> 00:18:33,877
[all gasp]
381
00:18:33,961 --> 00:18:35,378
MacArthur?
382
00:18:35,463 --> 00:18:36,880
(Ann)
Good heavens.
383
00:18:36,964 --> 00:18:40,091
Oh, it's okay. I'm
coming for you, baby.
384
00:18:40,176 --> 00:18:41,343
[dog barks and whines]
385
00:18:49,519 --> 00:18:51,394
I need a copy
of Abbott's manuscript.
386
00:18:51,479 --> 00:18:54,397
I'm gonna read
it in the car on
the way to his funeral.
387
00:18:54,482 --> 00:18:57,317
What? You've never
seen a manuscript
on napkins before?
388
00:18:57,401 --> 00:19:00,195
When genius
strikes, you write
it down. Do it now.
389
00:19:00,279 --> 00:19:01,488
Okay.
390
00:19:05,701 --> 00:19:09,746
Oh. Thea, um,
should you still
be using the copier?
391
00:19:09,831 --> 00:19:12,582
Copy machines emit
electromagnetic waves.
392
00:19:12,667 --> 00:19:14,376
And what does that do?
393
00:19:14,460 --> 00:19:17,712
Well, no one knows yet.
But I've been reading
on the message boards
394
00:19:17,839 --> 00:19:21,925
and it seems like something
you should avoid if you're
trying to have a well pregnancy.
395
00:19:22,009 --> 00:19:23,510
I think I should be okay.
396
00:19:23,594 --> 00:19:27,180
Oh, good. Well, if it
doesn't bother you,
397
00:19:27,265 --> 00:19:29,432
then can you make 50
copies of that for me?
398
00:19:29,517 --> 00:19:31,184
(Kristen)
Thank you.
399
00:19:33,646 --> 00:19:35,313
You know, I,
I find it fascinating
400
00:19:35,398 --> 00:19:37,941
that Kristen is only
a month further along
than you
401
00:19:38,025 --> 00:19:41,736
and yet she's the size
of a school bus and you're
still the size of Kate Moss.
402
00:19:41,821 --> 00:19:44,281
Different strokes,
I guess.
403
00:19:44,365 --> 00:19:48,451
Perhaps it's easier
to feel the bump
than to see it.
404
00:19:48,536 --> 00:19:51,997
What's the big deal?
Everyone likes to touch
a pregnant stomach.
405
00:19:52,081 --> 00:19:54,291
Because you're
a gross weirdo, Greg.
406
00:19:56,085 --> 00:19:59,045
And the baby
doesn't like
gross weirdos, Greg.
407
00:20:00,381 --> 00:20:01,798
Hmpf.
408
00:20:01,883 --> 00:20:04,009
You and me are going
shopping after work.
409
00:20:16,230 --> 00:20:18,106
What on earth
are you doing?
410
00:20:18,190 --> 00:20:19,524
I'm stealing
you a belly.
411
00:20:19,609 --> 00:20:20,650
What?
412
00:20:20,735 --> 00:20:22,193
You're four
months pregnant
413
00:20:22,278 --> 00:20:24,654
and you've
got the abs of a
Jenku swimsuit model.
414
00:20:24,739 --> 00:20:26,281
Sh. Cover me. Okay?
415
00:20:26,365 --> 00:20:29,034
Look. If you
want people to
think you're pregnant,
416
00:20:29,118 --> 00:20:33,246
you've gotta start
talking the talk and
walking the... waddle
417
00:20:35,750 --> 00:20:37,208
I don't know
if I can do this.
418
00:20:37,293 --> 00:20:39,419
You can do this.
Just do it for a week.
419
00:20:39,503 --> 00:20:43,173
But you've gotta look
the part or people are
gonna get suspicious.
420
00:20:43,257 --> 00:20:45,675
I look ridiculous.
421
00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:48,011
These jeans
are elastic on the top.
422
00:20:48,095 --> 00:20:50,347
I feel like I'm wearing
a condom on my stomach.
423
00:20:50,473 --> 00:20:54,309
[chuckles]
You don't look
like you've been
anywhere near a condom.
424
00:20:54,435 --> 00:20:59,105
(Lisa)
Gross. Did you know that
when women are in labor
they sometimes poop?
425
00:20:59,190 --> 00:21:00,690
Ew.
426
00:21:00,775 --> 00:21:04,527
Have you ever heard
of an episiotomy?
Or cankles? Hmm?
427
00:21:04,612 --> 00:21:05,820
Agh.
428
00:21:05,905 --> 00:21:08,865
Well, we should get
this as a reference.
429
00:21:08,950 --> 00:21:11,868
I thought this whole
thing was gonna blow
over in a few days.
430
00:21:11,994 --> 00:21:15,622
Yeah, but until then
you should know the ins and
outs of being preggers.
431
00:21:15,706 --> 00:21:18,708
There's a whole world
of stuff here you know
nothing about.
432
00:21:18,793 --> 00:21:21,544
Yeah. And I'd
kind of like to
keep it that way.
433
00:21:21,629 --> 00:21:24,047
Ew. Look
at those nipples.
434
00:21:24,131 --> 00:21:25,548
Wait a second,
wait a second.
435
00:21:25,633 --> 00:21:26,675
What?
436
00:21:26,759 --> 00:21:28,051
Here. here.
437
00:21:28,135 --> 00:21:30,220
No. Can I keep
the stomach at your house?
438
00:21:30,304 --> 00:21:32,555
No. That's like keeping
your arm at my house.
439
00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:35,809
No, no. I don't want
Emma to find out and
she hates when I lie.
440
00:21:35,893 --> 00:21:36,893
You lie all the time.
441
00:21:36,978 --> 00:21:38,186
No, really.
442
00:21:38,270 --> 00:21:40,647
It stays with you.
It's your stomach.
443
00:21:51,117 --> 00:21:52,367
[knocking]
444
00:21:52,451 --> 00:21:53,994
Hey! Can I get
a little privacy?
445
00:21:54,078 --> 00:21:56,705
Whoa, what are
you doing in there?
Can I just come in?
446
00:21:56,789 --> 00:21:58,373
I'm trying
to talk to you.
447
00:21:58,457 --> 00:22:01,418
It doesn't matter
what I'm doing right
now, I am busy. Shoo.
448
00:22:04,463 --> 00:22:06,756
Morning, Thea,
you got my check?
449
00:22:06,841 --> 00:22:10,427
Wow. Look at you.
450
00:22:10,511 --> 00:22:13,513
Yeah, look at me.
Oh, it's not what, um--.
451
00:22:13,597 --> 00:22:16,516
Oh, geez, I mean.
You've obviously got
a lot on your plate.
452
00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:19,811
I'm sorry about the other
day. Don't worry about
the rent check.
453
00:22:19,895 --> 00:22:21,855
Take another
week or two.
454
00:22:21,939 --> 00:22:23,565
You just take
care of yourself.
455
00:22:23,649 --> 00:22:25,942
[Donna]
Oh, my God.
456
00:22:26,027 --> 00:22:29,112
Oh, how
exciting. [gasps]
457
00:22:29,196 --> 00:22:31,156
I have so much baby
stuff I can lend you.
458
00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:33,783
Let me know
if you need to borrow
my old breast pump.
459
00:22:33,868 --> 00:22:34,993
I just have
to rinse it.
460
00:22:35,077 --> 00:22:37,746
[cheerful music]
461
00:22:54,388 --> 00:22:57,265
(Garth)
My favorite lubricant,
Ann? WD-40.
462
00:22:57,391 --> 00:23:01,311
(Ann)
Thea. I've made some
brownies for you
to fatten you up.
463
00:23:01,395 --> 00:23:02,395
Oh, thank you.
464
00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:03,688
It popped.
465
00:23:03,773 --> 00:23:05,774
Yeah, once you pop,
you can't stop.
466
00:23:05,858 --> 00:23:08,693
[chuckles]
You're carrying low.
It's definitely a boy.
467
00:23:08,819 --> 00:23:12,530
Whatever it is,
you've obviously begun that
slippery slide into obesity.
468
00:23:12,615 --> 00:23:15,492
Well, you had
a nice run there,
didn't you, champ?
469
00:23:15,576 --> 00:23:18,078
Oh, good morning.
470
00:23:18,162 --> 00:23:20,163
Look at you.
471
00:23:20,247 --> 00:23:22,832
Oh, my God. I think
I just felt it kick.
472
00:23:22,917 --> 00:23:25,877
Oh. Yeah, mark it in
the baby journal
for me, will you?
473
00:23:25,961 --> 00:23:27,128
I will.
474
00:23:27,213 --> 00:23:28,505
Are people buying it?
475
00:23:28,589 --> 00:23:31,049
Totally. Totally.
Ann made me brownies.
476
00:23:31,133 --> 00:23:33,134
I got a seat
on the bus today.
477
00:23:33,219 --> 00:23:35,303
And Garth is not
attracted to me anymore.
478
00:23:35,387 --> 00:23:37,347
It's the best morning
I've had in years.
479
00:23:37,431 --> 00:23:40,100
Okay, you want to hear
something even more amazing?
480
00:23:40,184 --> 00:23:42,310
Have you read Abbott's
new manuscript?
481
00:23:42,394 --> 00:23:44,145
I get asked
to Xerox, not to read.
482
00:23:44,230 --> 00:23:47,190
Okay. Get ready
to have your mind blown.
483
00:23:47,274 --> 00:23:50,735
Ah, "Philip of Macedon
had a hard-on."
484
00:23:50,820 --> 00:23:53,488
"Scaled great peaks
to conquer the Greeks."
485
00:23:53,572 --> 00:23:56,032
It's all rhyming couplets
and dirty limericks.
486
00:23:56,117 --> 00:23:58,409
And this is what Jerry's
betting the bank on.
487
00:23:59,370 --> 00:24:00,829
It's insane.
488
00:24:00,913 --> 00:24:02,122
Oh, you're welcome.
489
00:24:05,918 --> 00:24:07,669
Well, you
look different.
490
00:24:07,753 --> 00:24:10,588
Sorry. I'll move
you to the shitty
corner in a second.
491
00:24:10,673 --> 00:24:13,716
It's all
right, dear. You've
got your hands full.
492
00:24:13,801 --> 00:24:15,969
You've exploded.
493
00:24:16,053 --> 00:24:17,137
Well, yes, she has.
494
00:24:19,515 --> 00:24:21,141
[clears throat]
495
00:24:21,225 --> 00:24:23,768
Well, people.
I'm sure you'll
be relieved to hear
496
00:24:23,853 --> 00:24:27,438
that MacArthur is expected
to make a full recovery.
497
00:24:27,523 --> 00:24:29,190
I've gotten her a spot
498
00:24:29,275 --> 00:24:32,652
at the McElroy
Center for Veterinary
Rehabilitation in Bethesda.
499
00:24:32,736 --> 00:24:34,571
It's the best in the country.
500
00:24:34,655 --> 00:24:38,283
They tell me she
should be at 90 percent
tail-wagging capability
501
00:24:38,367 --> 00:24:39,617
after just six weeks.
502
00:24:39,702 --> 00:24:41,703
I'll be out of
the office for a while.
503
00:24:41,787 --> 00:24:44,289
I'll be working
out of the rehab
center in Bethesda
504
00:24:44,373 --> 00:24:47,500
where I've taken
a room for the duration
of MacArthur's stay.
505
00:24:47,585 --> 00:24:51,045
Until I get
back, Nicky will be
holding down the fort.
506
00:24:51,130 --> 00:24:54,257
I'm giving him
strict instructions not
to do anything stupid.
507
00:24:54,341 --> 00:24:56,050
(Garth)
Code red.
508
00:24:56,135 --> 00:24:58,386
[sighs]
Seriously, Nick.
509
00:24:58,470 --> 00:25:00,346
Don't blow it.
510
00:25:02,516 --> 00:25:04,100
Check it out.
511
00:25:04,185 --> 00:25:07,270
There's our fearless
leader plotting our
brilliant future.
512
00:25:07,354 --> 00:25:10,607
(Thea)
Well at least
with him in charge,
I'm off the hook.
513
00:25:10,691 --> 00:25:12,901
Well, things
are looking up.
514
00:25:12,985 --> 00:25:15,528
Okay, let's figure
out how to get me
out of this mess.
515
00:25:15,654 --> 00:25:19,282
I'll Google what
kind of mishaps can
happen when you're pregnant.
516
00:25:19,366 --> 00:25:21,284
Hi, guys. Sorry
to bother you.
517
00:25:21,410 --> 00:25:24,787
(Lisa)
You're boss now, Nick.
You can bother us
anytime you want.
518
00:25:24,914 --> 00:25:30,627
Right. Um, Thea,
I kind of need a favor.
Would you, come with me?
519
00:25:33,547 --> 00:25:35,173
We're meeting
Suzie Cavendish.
520
00:25:35,257 --> 00:25:37,592
I mentioned her in
the meeting last week.
521
00:25:37,676 --> 00:25:40,678
You see, Suzie's written
this hilarious book
522
00:25:40,763 --> 00:25:44,140
about pregnancy.
It, it's true stories
about pregnant women
523
00:25:44,225 --> 00:25:48,186
getting stuck in bathtubs
and throwing up under
their desks at work
524
00:25:48,270 --> 00:25:51,022
and farting
by mistake in meetings.
525
00:25:51,106 --> 00:25:54,651
It, it's stuff you,
you must know a lot more
about than me, obviously.
526
00:25:54,735 --> 00:25:56,819
Yeah, totally. Totally.
527
00:25:56,904 --> 00:26:00,198
I'm trying
really, really hard
not to fart right now.
528
00:26:00,282 --> 00:26:03,618
Anyway, I want
to publish Suzie's book
529
00:26:03,702 --> 00:26:06,621
and, and while Jerry's
gone, I'm gonna do it.
530
00:26:06,705 --> 00:26:08,957
You know, carpe diem
and all that stuff.
531
00:26:09,041 --> 00:26:10,708
Yeah, definitely.
532
00:26:10,793 --> 00:26:14,754
I actually used to
be a pretty carpe diem
kind of person myself.
533
00:26:14,838 --> 00:26:16,005
But not anymore.
534
00:26:16,090 --> 00:26:17,340
Because I'm pregnant.
535
00:26:17,424 --> 00:26:19,133
See, that's just it.
536
00:26:19,218 --> 00:26:22,136
Suzie's not convinced
that Steinwald's
the right place.
537
00:26:22,221 --> 00:26:25,515
So I thought
you might help
convince her otherwise.
538
00:26:25,599 --> 00:26:27,183
Yeah, sure.
539
00:26:27,268 --> 00:26:30,603
I mean, I'll just
talk to her about
the whole farting thing.
540
00:26:33,190 --> 00:26:36,025
Uh, one thing.
Uh, Suzie kind of
thinks you're an editor.
541
00:26:36,110 --> 00:26:37,652
Why would
she think that?
542
00:26:37,736 --> 00:26:39,237
I kind of implied it.
543
00:26:39,321 --> 00:26:40,363
What?
544
00:26:40,447 --> 00:26:41,447
Suzie!
545
00:26:41,532 --> 00:26:43,950
(Suzie)
Hi. Nice to see you.
546
00:26:44,076 --> 00:26:47,996
(Suzie)
Most pregnancy books make
you feel totally inadequate
547
00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:50,581
and how you're
destined to be
a failure as a parent.
548
00:26:50,666 --> 00:26:53,209
No one writes
about what pregnancy
is really like,
549
00:26:53,294 --> 00:26:55,753
how you feel
fat and clumsy
and stupid.
550
00:26:55,838 --> 00:26:57,714
The absolute worst
551
00:26:57,798 --> 00:27:01,509
is "What to Expect
When You're Expecting."
Have you read that?
552
00:27:01,593 --> 00:27:06,222
Oh, no, I was
told it was so bad I
shouldn't even go near it.
553
00:27:06,307 --> 00:27:08,057
So, what are you reading?
554
00:27:08,142 --> 00:27:10,643
Uh,
555
00:27:10,728 --> 00:27:13,688
You know, just
the usual suspects.
556
00:27:13,772 --> 00:27:15,231
Like?
557
00:27:15,316 --> 00:27:19,569
Well, I was
banking on finding
Pregnancy for Dummies.
558
00:27:19,653 --> 00:27:22,238
I love
that series. Yeah.
559
00:27:22,323 --> 00:27:24,574
Hm. Interesting.
560
00:27:24,658 --> 00:27:26,826
Come on, Nicky,
how can you guys
sell my book
561
00:27:26,910 --> 00:27:29,245
if you're not familiar
with the competition?
562
00:27:29,330 --> 00:27:31,748
Thea has had a pretty
full workload lately.
563
00:27:31,832 --> 00:27:35,543
I don't know, guys.
I don't know if this
is the right marriage.
564
00:27:35,669 --> 00:27:39,005
Come on. From
the people who brought
you the Kalashnikov diaries
565
00:27:39,089 --> 00:27:42,592
comes a comedic send-up
of 21st century pregnancy?
566
00:27:42,676 --> 00:27:45,595
It's just, the right
home is so important.
567
00:27:45,679 --> 00:27:47,263
I know. We are
the right home.
568
00:27:47,348 --> 00:27:51,434
I mean, sure,
our, uh, plumbing
is a little leaky
569
00:27:51,518 --> 00:27:53,895
and maybe we need
a new paint job.
570
00:27:54,021 --> 00:27:58,107
But our backyard is a really
great place for a barbecue
in the summer.
571
00:27:58,192 --> 00:28:01,486
You know?
572
00:28:01,612 --> 00:28:06,324
If we can make a bestseller
out of the "Defeat of Darius
at Issus" we've gotta be good.
573
00:28:06,408 --> 00:28:08,326
I mean, that couldn't
be easy, right?
574
00:28:08,410 --> 00:28:10,119
Absolutely.
575
00:28:10,204 --> 00:28:12,872
The thing about
pregnancy is it's
incredibly messy.
576
00:28:12,956 --> 00:28:15,833
Those other books
are teaching you how
to avoid the mess.
577
00:28:15,918 --> 00:28:17,335
You're embracing the mess.
578
00:28:17,419 --> 00:28:20,463
And you've written
an incredible insightful,
579
00:28:20,547 --> 00:28:24,509
hilarious,
controversial manifesto.
580
00:28:24,593 --> 00:28:27,512
Just give us a shot.
It has bestseller
written all over it.
581
00:28:27,596 --> 00:28:29,472
We promise we
won't let you down.
582
00:28:31,892 --> 00:28:33,017
So you've read it.
583
00:28:33,102 --> 00:28:35,395
Oh. I live it.
Love it. Every day.
584
00:28:37,272 --> 00:28:39,982
Let me think about it.
585
00:28:40,067 --> 00:28:42,527
Hey, I'm starting a new
birthing class tomorrow.
586
00:28:42,611 --> 00:28:44,153
Maybe Thea could
come with me.
587
00:28:44,238 --> 00:28:45,530
She'll be there.
588
00:28:45,614 --> 00:28:47,281
And bring your partner.
589
00:28:47,366 --> 00:28:50,493
Her fiancée. Miles, right?
590
00:28:50,577 --> 00:28:53,621
Yeah. Could you excuse
me for a second?
591
00:28:53,705 --> 00:28:54,914
(Nick)
Yes.
592
00:29:02,089 --> 00:29:03,756
Vodka. Straight up.
593
00:29:09,471 --> 00:29:11,139
[gasps] Thanks.
594
00:29:19,314 --> 00:29:20,898
You okay?
595
00:29:20,983 --> 00:29:23,317
I just set the world
record for bullshitting.
596
00:29:23,402 --> 00:29:24,902
What happened?
597
00:29:24,987 --> 00:29:27,488
Long story.
I can't handle
doing it again.
598
00:29:29,116 --> 00:29:30,199
A promotion?
599
00:29:30,284 --> 00:29:32,577
You are the new
Associate Editor
600
00:29:32,661 --> 00:29:34,412
of our brand
new Family division.
601
00:29:34,496 --> 00:29:36,164
Family division?
602
00:29:36,248 --> 00:29:39,083
Suzie called.
She wants to give us
a shot, thanks to you.
603
00:29:39,168 --> 00:29:41,544
Now, Suzie's book will
launch our new division.
604
00:29:41,628 --> 00:29:44,547
It's a perfect opportunity
to capture a new demographic
605
00:29:44,631 --> 00:29:46,799
and help the company
to grow vertically...
606
00:29:46,884 --> 00:29:48,426
Nick.
607
00:29:48,510 --> 00:29:51,220
Look, there's something
I need to tell you.
608
00:29:51,305 --> 00:29:52,722
This whole thing
is a big lie.
609
00:29:52,806 --> 00:29:55,099
I feel terrible,
but I'm not really...
610
00:29:55,184 --> 00:29:56,893
An editor?
611
00:29:56,977 --> 00:29:59,312
I know, I'm the one
who forced you to lie.
612
00:29:59,438 --> 00:30:03,774
which as a rule isn't great
but what's not a lie is that
you did really good today.
613
00:30:03,859 --> 00:30:05,902
There's so many
people more qualified.
614
00:30:05,986 --> 00:30:08,946
So many people in ways
you don't even know.
615
00:30:09,031 --> 00:30:13,409
Thea. To be a good
editor all you need is a,
a feel for the material
616
00:30:13,494 --> 00:30:16,078
It's what my father had
when he started this company
617
00:30:16,163 --> 00:30:17,997
and it's
what you have.
618
00:30:18,081 --> 00:30:21,542
You're living
through the thrills
of starting a family.
619
00:30:21,627 --> 00:30:23,920
What about Kristen?
She's pregnant.
620
00:30:24,004 --> 00:30:27,298
Obviously I am too,
but she's, she's
really pregnant.
621
00:30:27,382 --> 00:30:31,802
First of all, Kristen's a
lawyer without a creative
bone in her body.
622
00:30:31,887 --> 00:30:36,474
And then there's
the indisputable fact that
she's a complete weirdo.
623
00:30:36,558 --> 00:30:40,603
[sighs]
Oh. Look, Nick,
I mean, I see your point.
624
00:30:40,687 --> 00:30:42,897
I do. And I wanna help.
625
00:30:42,981 --> 00:30:45,900
But I just, I can't.
626
00:30:45,984 --> 00:30:47,985
I'm not your accountant.
627
00:30:48,070 --> 00:30:50,363
But the other thing
you should know is that
628
00:30:50,447 --> 00:30:54,200
associate editors
make a lot more money
than secretaries.
629
00:30:54,284 --> 00:30:55,368
A lot?
630
00:30:55,452 --> 00:30:57,078
Let's just say,
631
00:30:57,162 --> 00:30:59,330
you'll have your own
secretary and office.
632
00:30:59,414 --> 00:31:02,333
So are you my new
associate editor?
633
00:31:02,417 --> 00:31:04,961
[gasps and music]
I guess I am.
634
00:31:08,131 --> 00:31:11,259
"War Stories From
the Pregnancy Front"
by Suzie Cavendish.
635
00:31:11,343 --> 00:31:14,303
You loved it,
you live it.
636
00:31:14,388 --> 00:31:15,972
You should
probably read it.
637
00:31:16,056 --> 00:31:18,683
I do, I agree with
what you're saying.
638
00:31:18,767 --> 00:31:21,561
If you have your
colon health you
do have everything.
639
00:31:21,645 --> 00:31:25,439
But, I do, I thought
it interesting when you
said we were going wrong
640
00:31:25,566 --> 00:31:31,279
and we should be sort of
on the seat like a gargoyle
as opposed to just sitting.
641
00:31:31,363 --> 00:31:34,323
Not now, Miles.
642
00:31:34,408 --> 00:31:38,327
Don't you know
enough about being
fake pregnant already?
643
00:31:38,412 --> 00:31:41,872
How can this be this
big of a deal?
644
00:31:41,957 --> 00:31:45,626
I mean, come on,
you do the nasty,
you're knocked up,
645
00:31:45,711 --> 00:31:49,589
you inflate and then, uh,
eight, nine months?
Nine months later
646
00:31:49,673 --> 00:31:53,843
you shoot that puppy out.
I mean, how can there be
8 million books about this?
647
00:31:53,927 --> 00:31:56,012
Just promise me
you won't write one.
648
00:31:56,096 --> 00:31:59,473
Okay. If you promise
you're still on
birth control.
649
00:31:59,558 --> 00:32:01,350
Believe me, I am.
650
00:32:01,435 --> 00:32:02,602
Oh, yeah?
651
00:32:02,686 --> 00:32:03,686
Uh-huh.
652
00:32:03,770 --> 00:32:04,854
Excellent.
653
00:32:04,938 --> 00:32:07,315
[rhythmic music]
654
00:32:29,379 --> 00:32:30,671
Nice new digs, huh?
655
00:32:30,756 --> 00:32:31,797
Yeah.
656
00:32:31,882 --> 00:32:33,341
So, what did you think?
657
00:32:33,425 --> 00:32:34,592
About what?
658
00:32:34,676 --> 00:32:36,510
Uh, Suzie's book.
Any thoughts?
659
00:32:38,138 --> 00:32:40,848
Oh, yeah, it was great.
660
00:32:40,932 --> 00:32:42,725
What do you think?
661
00:32:42,809 --> 00:32:45,436
How much did
you actually read?
662
00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:47,855
The first two chapters.
663
00:32:47,939 --> 00:32:51,567
But I'm gonna finish
the rest of it today. I
just got a little distracted.
664
00:32:51,652 --> 00:32:53,319
Nick, please,
let me explain.
665
00:32:53,403 --> 00:32:55,446
Thanks for your thoughts.
666
00:32:55,530 --> 00:33:00,534
[gasps] You have
shelves. And a door.
667
00:33:00,619 --> 00:33:02,578
[thud]
668
00:33:02,663 --> 00:33:05,247
Congratulations, Thea.
669
00:33:05,332 --> 00:33:07,333
Thank you, Greg.
670
00:33:10,545 --> 00:33:13,839
You really think you can
get to the top by playing
games, don't ya?
671
00:33:13,924 --> 00:33:17,218
I know what you're
up to, Thea. And I
think that it stinks.
672
00:33:17,302 --> 00:33:19,720
Hm.
673
00:33:19,846 --> 00:33:23,599
Really? Do you think that it
stinks that I want to hire
you to be my Assistant?
674
00:33:23,684 --> 00:33:25,559
[gasps] Really?
675
00:33:25,686 --> 00:33:29,063
You'll start first
thing Monday after
I put the paperwork through.
676
00:33:29,147 --> 00:33:32,817
Oh, wow, Thea. Thea,
thank you so much. I, I
could kiss you right now.
677
00:33:32,901 --> 00:33:34,318
You don't have
to do that.
678
00:33:34,403 --> 00:33:35,736
I'll see you later, boss.
679
00:33:35,821 --> 00:33:37,780
Look at you,
Little Miss Executive.
680
00:33:37,864 --> 00:33:40,574
Hardly. I don't
even really know
what I'm doing here.
681
00:33:40,659 --> 00:33:43,202
I didn't finish
the manuscript
last night and Nick
682
00:33:43,286 --> 00:33:45,621
just asked for my opinion
and I didn't have one.
683
00:33:45,706 --> 00:33:51,836
You might wanna get one.
This is your ticket out
of the secretarial pool.
684
00:33:54,131 --> 00:33:56,215
[rhythmic music]
685
00:34:06,059 --> 00:34:09,103
(Garth)
If your last name
is O'Keeffe, why do
you look Jewish?
686
00:34:09,187 --> 00:34:13,149
Well, it's true.
You don't look Irish.
687
00:34:13,233 --> 00:34:16,444
[louder music]
688
00:34:30,333 --> 00:34:31,709
Steinwald Publishing.
689
00:34:40,510 --> 00:34:43,971
So O'Keeffe got
a new girlfriend.
He's robbing the cradle.
690
00:34:44,055 --> 00:34:45,639
She's 95.
691
00:34:49,436 --> 00:34:50,978
Did you hear me?
692
00:34:54,316 --> 00:34:56,358
(Thea)
I loved it. It
was funny and smart
693
00:34:56,443 --> 00:34:58,861
and you don't even
have to be pregnant
to enjoy it.
694
00:34:58,945 --> 00:35:01,363
I'm guessing
about that because
I am pregnant.
695
00:35:01,448 --> 00:35:03,282
I enjoyed it and I'm
not pregnant.
696
00:35:03,366 --> 00:35:06,744
I was thinking, you could
organize the chapters
like a pregnancy.
697
00:35:06,828 --> 00:35:09,538
You know,
group each woman's
stories by trimester.
698
00:35:09,623 --> 00:35:13,042
So, so the book would
start with stories about
the awkward moments
699
00:35:13,126 --> 00:35:16,086
when everyone thinks
you've been eating
too many cupcakes.
700
00:35:16,171 --> 00:35:18,172
Exactly. And then
the second trimester.
701
00:35:18,298 --> 00:35:21,634
Like Sally's story
when she threw up in
her purse at her kid's play.
702
00:35:21,718 --> 00:35:25,429
Nick, I'm sorry I didn't
finish the book last night.
It won't happen again.
703
00:35:25,514 --> 00:35:27,264
I'm glad you like it.
704
00:35:27,349 --> 00:35:30,601
We've got our work
cut out for us. It'll be
in bookstores in 6 weeks.
705
00:35:30,727 --> 00:35:36,023
I'd like to see your notes,
but Suzie's class starts in
20 minutes so you should go.
706
00:35:36,149 --> 00:35:41,403
I totally forgot.
The thing is, Miles is, is
going out of town for work.
707
00:35:41,488 --> 00:35:42,571
That's too bad.
708
00:35:42,656 --> 00:35:44,281
Do you think
I could reschedule?
709
00:35:44,366 --> 00:35:48,994
Now it's time for partner
relaxation techniques
710
00:35:49,079 --> 00:35:51,080
for when your
special marathon begins.
711
00:35:51,164 --> 00:35:54,583
So, partners, I want
you to move behind
your marathoners
712
00:35:54,668 --> 00:35:56,710
with your legs
open in a big V.
713
00:35:56,795 --> 00:35:59,421
Hm. Welcome home.
714
00:35:59,506 --> 00:36:04,176
Now, take this
opportunity to stroke
your wives or girlfriends.
715
00:36:04,261 --> 00:36:06,303
Stroke it out.
716
00:36:06,388 --> 00:36:09,598
Now why don't you
whisper something
special to her, okay?
717
00:36:09,683 --> 00:36:12,893
Something that only
you two would share
in this private moment.
718
00:36:12,978 --> 00:36:16,814
It could be funny,
It could be naughty.
[chuckles]
719
00:36:16,898 --> 00:36:19,108
I'm not listening.
720
00:36:19,192 --> 00:36:21,443
Let that relaxation
wash over you.
721
00:36:21,528 --> 00:36:23,070
I am so sorry
about this.
722
00:36:23,154 --> 00:36:25,573
It's, you know,
you don't have
to stroke my hair.
723
00:36:25,657 --> 00:36:27,283
Okay, I'm sorry.
724
00:36:27,367 --> 00:36:29,493
Uh, you know, you can
lean back if you want.
725
00:36:29,578 --> 00:36:31,537
I, I can tell you're
kind of straining.
726
00:36:31,621 --> 00:36:32,746
I am.
727
00:36:32,831 --> 00:36:35,165
Great. Now that
we're all relaxed,
728
00:36:35,250 --> 00:36:37,793
let's try some
birthing positions, okay?
729
00:36:37,878 --> 00:36:41,130
Mary? Could I borrow
your partner for just a sec?
730
00:36:41,214 --> 00:36:43,591
I promise I'll give
him back. [chuckles] Maybe.
731
00:36:43,675 --> 00:36:45,968
I'm just kidding. Come
here, cutie. All right.
732
00:36:46,094 --> 00:36:50,806
I want you to get on
all fours with your palms
firmly placed to the ground
733
00:36:50,891 --> 00:36:55,311
and then we're gonna
rock back. We're gonna
rock back into it. Oh.
734
00:36:55,395 --> 00:36:57,688
Feel that womb open up.
735
00:36:57,772 --> 00:37:01,275
It feels familiar,
right? This is how we got
ourselves into this mess.
736
00:37:01,401 --> 00:37:05,529
[chuckles]
For some of us, not all
of us. The position's
not for everybody.
737
00:37:05,614 --> 00:37:10,534
Partners, I want
you to envelope
your marathoner, okay?
738
00:37:10,619 --> 00:37:13,913
And just get in a
deep stretch here
around the belly
739
00:37:14,039 --> 00:37:18,292
keep moving back and forth,
right? Get your hands on
the tummy back there.
740
00:37:18,376 --> 00:37:21,378
And keep pushing
in. Keep pushing
in and envelope.
741
00:37:21,463 --> 00:37:24,006
Get right on top of there.
Feel that, feel... Oop.
742
00:37:24,090 --> 00:37:25,382
Man down, okay.
743
00:37:25,467 --> 00:37:26,717
It's okay.
744
00:37:26,801 --> 00:37:29,678
Just hop back on.
No mistakes here.
745
00:37:29,763 --> 00:37:35,517
Okay. All right. Finish
up when you feel done.
I need a few more.
746
00:37:35,602 --> 00:37:38,020
If you'll indulge
me Mary, thank you.
747
00:37:38,104 --> 00:37:41,482
Okay, and just
keep the rocking.
Never stop rocking.
748
00:37:41,566 --> 00:37:47,029
Oh! Yes.
Give it to me, Rob,
we're doing it now.
749
00:37:47,113 --> 00:37:50,950
Oh! Oh!
750
00:37:51,034 --> 00:37:54,370
Okay. [sighs]
And we're done.
751
00:37:54,454 --> 00:37:57,331
Wonderful, thank you.
This guy's good, right?
752
00:37:57,415 --> 00:38:00,000
I'm gonna borrow
you for another class.
753
00:38:00,085 --> 00:38:03,629
Or after class.
[chuckles] I'm kidding.
754
00:38:07,550 --> 00:38:08,759
(Suzie)
Bye, guys.
755
00:38:08,843 --> 00:38:11,887
(Nick)
That was great.
Thanks a lot.
756
00:38:11,972 --> 00:38:13,138
(Thea)
Bye.
757
00:38:13,223 --> 00:38:15,099
(Nick)
Wow.
That was up there
758
00:38:15,183 --> 00:38:18,602
as one of
the most embarrassing
moments of my life.
759
00:38:18,687 --> 00:38:21,480
Hey, here, let me
get you something.
760
00:38:21,564 --> 00:38:24,692
No, no, it's the least
I can do after nearly
paralyzing you.
761
00:38:26,820 --> 00:38:28,112
Hi.
762
00:38:28,196 --> 00:38:29,279
Hi.
763
00:38:32,909 --> 00:38:34,368
Thanks.
764
00:38:34,452 --> 00:38:36,954
(Thea)
Did you always work
in the family business?
765
00:38:37,038 --> 00:38:42,459
Uh, I wanted to be a
writer. But I was scared
I might be a total hack
766
00:38:42,544 --> 00:38:44,670
so I got
an accounting degree.
[chuckles]
767
00:38:44,796 --> 00:38:48,090
I figured I'd make
a living doing that
while I finished my book...
768
00:38:48,174 --> 00:38:50,718
but kind of been
stuck in the middle
for a few years.
769
00:38:50,802 --> 00:38:52,594
What do you wanna
be when you grow up?
770
00:38:52,679 --> 00:38:55,514
Well, in college
I played in a badass
metal band.
771
00:38:55,598 --> 00:38:57,641
Really?
You're a badass?
772
00:38:57,726 --> 00:39:00,102
A little bit, kind of.
773
00:39:00,186 --> 00:39:03,897
Fascinating. A little
terrifying but fascinating.
774
00:39:03,982 --> 00:39:08,110
So is that what you did
in college, badass metal
band studies?
775
00:39:08,194 --> 00:39:10,195
No, I didn't
finish college.
776
00:39:10,321 --> 00:39:13,282
Oh, why not?
Too boring? Not
Joan Jett enough for you?
777
00:39:13,408 --> 00:39:18,829
No. Um, I loved college.
It's just my parents passed
away in a car accident,
778
00:39:18,913 --> 00:39:22,207
so I had to leave
to take care of my
little sister.
779
00:39:22,292 --> 00:39:24,501
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't
have said anything.
780
00:39:24,586 --> 00:39:27,463
Oh, n-no. I, I'm
glad you told me.
781
00:39:27,547 --> 00:39:30,299
I'm just so sorry
that happened.
782
00:39:30,383 --> 00:39:31,842
Thanks.
783
00:39:33,887 --> 00:39:35,721
So is your sister
a badass like you?
784
00:39:35,805 --> 00:39:37,890
No, she's more
of a smart ass.
785
00:39:37,974 --> 00:39:40,559
[laughs] Here.
786
00:39:42,896 --> 00:39:45,981
Hey, you know, uh,
Suzie's having a pool
party this weekend.
787
00:39:46,066 --> 00:39:47,775
You should come.
And bring Miles.
788
00:39:47,859 --> 00:39:49,359
Pool party?
789
00:39:49,444 --> 00:39:51,820
Yeah. I promise, I won't
be wearing a Speedo.
790
00:39:51,905 --> 00:39:52,988
[chuckles]
791
00:39:57,952 --> 00:39:59,745
[door opens]
792
00:40:06,836 --> 00:40:08,337
Nice look!
793
00:40:08,421 --> 00:40:11,215
Do we have a secret steam
room you never told me about?
794
00:40:11,299 --> 00:40:12,758
No, I'm going
to a pool party.
795
00:40:12,842 --> 00:40:15,302
Ah. Well, good thing
you've got that towel on now.
796
00:40:15,386 --> 00:40:18,388
Wouldn't wanna
leave that 'til when
you actually get there.
797
00:40:18,473 --> 00:40:21,391
Enough of the sass,
smarty pants. What
are you doing here?
798
00:40:21,476 --> 00:40:23,143
Tennis ended early.
799
00:40:23,228 --> 00:40:25,187
What's the bag for?
800
00:40:25,271 --> 00:40:26,814
Nothing.
801
00:40:26,898 --> 00:40:29,483
Come on, you can
do better than that.
802
00:40:29,567 --> 00:40:31,068
At least I'm wearing pants.
803
00:40:31,152 --> 00:40:32,903
Pants? You call
those pants?
804
00:40:32,987 --> 00:40:35,114
They're shorts.
805
00:40:35,198 --> 00:40:39,952
All right, bye. Don't
call if you need me.
806
00:40:40,036 --> 00:40:43,205
[rock music]
807
00:40:43,289 --> 00:40:47,334
Okay, you really
have to act like
you're the father, okay?
808
00:40:47,418 --> 00:40:48,669
Yeah.
809
00:40:48,753 --> 00:40:50,796
You're the father.
It's serious.
810
00:40:50,880 --> 00:40:52,047
Oh, come on.
811
00:40:52,132 --> 00:40:54,007
You have to appear
to be responsible.
812
00:40:54,092 --> 00:40:56,051
Are you kidding me?
I'm totally psyched.
813
00:40:56,136 --> 00:40:59,263
I thought about
this. Everyone's gonna
think I'm a super-stud
814
00:40:59,347 --> 00:41:01,223
for knocking up a
hot chick like you.
815
00:41:01,307 --> 00:41:04,309
Okay, so, that's an
example of something
you wouldn't say.
816
00:41:04,394 --> 00:41:07,771
Baby. Well, I think
you're beautiful
even with your...
817
00:41:07,856 --> 00:41:09,106
Thank you.
818
00:41:15,655 --> 00:41:17,197
(Thea)
Hey.
819
00:41:17,282 --> 00:41:18,740
How are you?
820
00:41:18,825 --> 00:41:21,994
Nick, this is
my fiancé, Miles.
Miles, this is Nick.
821
00:41:22,078 --> 00:41:24,955
Congratulations.
You must be so excited.
822
00:41:25,039 --> 00:41:28,750
Oh, it's, I just can't
wait for the little guy
to [pop] pop out.
823
00:41:28,835 --> 00:41:30,002
Oh, you're
having a boy.
824
00:41:30,086 --> 00:41:31,086
Yeah.
825
00:41:31,171 --> 00:41:32,462
We, uh, we
just found out.
826
00:41:32,547 --> 00:41:34,047
And do you
have a name yet?
827
00:41:34,132 --> 00:41:35,757
Now, see,
I didn't think any...
828
00:41:35,842 --> 00:41:36,925
Hey.
829
00:41:37,010 --> 00:41:38,927
Garth, this is
my fiancé, Miles.
830
00:41:39,012 --> 00:41:41,513
Miles, Garth.
He's an editor
at the company.
831
00:41:41,598 --> 00:41:42,973
You're a lucky guy, huh?
832
00:41:43,057 --> 00:41:47,686
Yes, I am.
You look pretty
lucky yourself there.
833
00:41:47,770 --> 00:41:50,189
I'm gonna go inside
and say hi to Suzie.
834
00:41:50,273 --> 00:41:51,773
Oh, yeah,
hold up, babe.
835
00:41:51,858 --> 00:41:54,276
I'm taking
a dip. It's
blazing here. Babes.
836
00:41:54,360 --> 00:41:55,402
Yeah?
837
00:41:55,486 --> 00:41:56,695
Right there.
838
00:41:56,779 --> 00:41:58,238
Anybody care to join?
839
00:41:58,323 --> 00:41:59,406
I will. Let's go in.
840
00:41:59,490 --> 00:42:00,824
That's what
I like to hear.
841
00:42:00,909 --> 00:42:02,451
I don't wanna
get my chain wet.
842
00:42:02,535 --> 00:42:05,287
Listen, I have two
friends that I want
you to meet.
843
00:42:05,413 --> 00:42:08,999
They're both writers
and they're actually
looking for a new publisher,
844
00:42:09,083 --> 00:42:10,876
so I think they'll
really like you.
845
00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:12,211
Really?
846
00:42:12,295 --> 00:42:14,087
You and Nick
make such a good team.
847
00:42:14,172 --> 00:42:15,380
Thank you.
848
00:42:22,680 --> 00:42:26,099
Hey, guys.
I want you to
meet Audrey Gold
849
00:42:26,226 --> 00:42:29,978
and Dr. Terry
Bournachle. Terry wrote
the Bournachle Baby Book,
850
00:42:30,063 --> 00:42:31,897
which is the bible.
851
00:42:31,981 --> 00:42:35,609
I won't even touch that.
I don't wanna be accused
of having a God complex.
852
00:42:35,693 --> 00:42:38,362
And Audrey just
finished a book
on single parenting
853
00:42:38,488 --> 00:42:42,824
and I hear from reliable
sources that she's not
very happy at Boyle Donner.
854
00:42:42,909 --> 00:42:45,827
Oh, well we would love
to meet with you guys.
855
00:42:47,789 --> 00:42:51,333
Yeah, Nick and Thea
just started a parenting
division at Steinwald.
856
00:42:51,417 --> 00:42:53,710
Hmm. You have
the most unique shape.
857
00:42:53,836 --> 00:42:58,257
If you don't mind me
asking, you don't have
a distended uterus, do you?
858
00:42:58,341 --> 00:43:02,552
Uh, no, no, I,
I don't think so.
859
00:43:02,637 --> 00:43:05,138
Well, who's your OB?
860
00:43:05,223 --> 00:43:09,476
[clears throat]
Dr. Draken Barysinwitz.
861
00:43:09,560 --> 00:43:12,688
You mean Hans?
Frogenberry Schoenewitz?
862
00:43:12,772 --> 00:43:15,315
I thought he moved
back to Vienna.
863
00:43:15,400 --> 00:43:16,566
[splash]
864
00:43:16,651 --> 00:43:18,193
[all]
Oh!
865
00:43:18,278 --> 00:43:21,822
My bad. I just,
I was trying to,
totally going for her.
866
00:43:21,906 --> 00:43:23,323
Very funny, Miles.
867
00:43:23,408 --> 00:43:27,286
Hey. You should,
uh, you should
totally come in.
868
00:43:27,370 --> 00:43:29,288
We're having
such a good
time in there.
869
00:43:29,372 --> 00:43:31,290
I don't feel like
swimming right now.
870
00:43:31,374 --> 00:43:33,292
Come on. It's
so nice in there.
871
00:43:33,376 --> 00:43:36,211
No one cares
that you're fat.
Kids, tell her to come in.
872
00:43:36,296 --> 00:43:39,548
Come in.
Come in.
Come in.
873
00:43:39,632 --> 00:43:41,425
(Thea)
It's okay.
874
00:43:41,509 --> 00:43:43,719
You don't want to
disappoint the children.
875
00:43:43,803 --> 00:43:44,845
Woo!
876
00:43:44,929 --> 00:43:46,179
Shit.
877
00:43:46,264 --> 00:43:47,681
[laughs]
878
00:43:48,975 --> 00:43:50,142
What is that?
879
00:43:50,226 --> 00:43:51,852
Oh!
880
00:43:51,936 --> 00:43:53,145
[all] Oh!
881
00:43:53,229 --> 00:43:54,313
[Miles laughs]
882
00:43:54,397 --> 00:43:55,480
[gasps]
883
00:43:55,565 --> 00:43:56,857
(Nick)
That's not cool.
884
00:44:04,073 --> 00:44:05,907
(Thea)
It was so humiliating.
885
00:44:06,034 --> 00:44:09,286
On the way home
I told him to drop me off
and never speak to me again.
886
00:44:09,370 --> 00:44:12,664
Good. I always thought
Miles was a bit of a
numbnut anyway.
887
00:44:12,790 --> 00:44:16,668
[sighs]
I'm just so embarrassed
that Nick thinks he's the
father of my child.
888
00:44:16,753 --> 00:44:18,378
Who cares
what Nick thinks?
889
00:44:18,463 --> 00:44:20,255
He's just the first
person in years
890
00:44:20,340 --> 00:44:23,550
that thinks I'm
capable of doing more
than just pouring coffee.
891
00:44:23,634 --> 00:44:25,802
What do you think he'll
say when he finds out
892
00:44:25,928 --> 00:44:30,057
your baby is a piece
of polyurethane foam
we swiped off a mannequin?
893
00:44:30,141 --> 00:44:32,934
He's actually kinda cute
though, don't you think?
894
00:44:33,019 --> 00:44:34,269
Who?
895
00:44:34,354 --> 00:44:36,021
Um, Nick.
896
00:44:36,105 --> 00:44:37,856
Um, no.
897
00:44:37,940 --> 00:44:39,441
Cigarette?
898
00:44:39,525 --> 00:44:41,943
No, I probably shouldn't.
899
00:44:42,028 --> 00:44:43,445
[guffaws]
900
00:44:44,739 --> 00:44:49,076
Okay, uh, to recap, uh
901
00:44:49,160 --> 00:44:52,454
only one of you
would even bother
to look at the book.
902
00:44:52,538 --> 00:44:57,042
And the rest of you
wouldn't buy it with
a gun to your head...
903
00:44:57,126 --> 00:44:59,586
which can't
be good for sales.
904
00:45:03,299 --> 00:45:06,343
Can any of you
tell me why the cover
doesn't speak to you?
905
00:45:06,427 --> 00:45:10,722
Maybe comparing
pregnancy to a battle
is, uh, putting you off.
906
00:45:10,807 --> 00:45:12,140
Yes.
907
00:45:12,225 --> 00:45:14,434
I can't stay
for the rest
of the focus group.
908
00:45:14,519 --> 00:45:17,145
Can I still
get my check?
909
00:45:17,230 --> 00:45:19,231
Just stop by reception.
910
00:45:24,779 --> 00:45:26,947
Okay. Uh, one down.
911
00:45:29,909 --> 00:45:32,661
Maybe we should
forget what's on
the cover for a second.
912
00:45:32,745 --> 00:45:35,330
what makes this
book great is that
it's a collection
913
00:45:35,415 --> 00:45:39,000
of real stories for real
women talking about how
it feels to be pregnant.
914
00:45:39,085 --> 00:45:41,420
So let's talk about some
of us feel right now.
915
00:45:42,797 --> 00:45:44,172
I feel like crap.
916
00:45:44,257 --> 00:45:47,300
That's good. I mean,
that's bad. But keep going.
917
00:45:47,385 --> 00:45:51,346
How come no one
talks about how
much pregnancy sucks!
918
00:45:51,431 --> 00:45:53,557
Oh, there's no
glow in my house.
919
00:45:53,641 --> 00:45:56,601
Okay, so what
I'm hearing is that
you're all so over it.
920
00:45:56,686 --> 00:45:58,395
[all] Yeah.
921
00:45:58,479 --> 00:46:01,189
Hello, I'm Orca the Whale.
Like, what's up with that?
922
00:46:01,274 --> 00:46:03,358
I know, they're not
even bloated at all.
923
00:46:03,443 --> 00:46:05,694
Thea, your
sister's at reception.
924
00:46:10,533 --> 00:46:12,367
Hey, what are
you doing here?
925
00:46:12,493 --> 00:46:16,288
You forgot to sign the
release for my trip to Lake
Arrowhead. It's due today.
926
00:46:16,372 --> 00:46:20,208
Thea, aren't you
going to introduce
me to your sister?
927
00:46:20,293 --> 00:46:23,253
Oh, Nick, Emma.
Emma, Nick.
928
00:46:23,337 --> 00:46:25,213
She's in a real rush.
She has to go.
929
00:46:26,716 --> 00:46:31,303
Okay, well, this has been
fun. It's been fun.
930
00:46:31,387 --> 00:46:32,554
What is that?
931
00:46:32,638 --> 00:46:34,389
Just because you
don't like my dress
932
00:46:34,474 --> 00:46:36,099
doesn't mean you
have to be rude.
933
00:46:36,184 --> 00:46:38,059
Move. I'll
tell you outside.
934
00:46:38,144 --> 00:46:39,394
What's wrong with you?
935
00:46:39,479 --> 00:46:41,521
I'm a big fat liar,
but Jerry was firing me
936
00:46:41,606 --> 00:46:43,315
I had to come up
with something.
937
00:46:45,276 --> 00:46:47,777
You are one sandwich shy
of a picnic, you know that?
938
00:46:47,862 --> 00:46:50,030
You're crazy. What
are you thinking?
939
00:46:50,156 --> 00:46:53,825
[sighs]
You might be interested
to know that I got a
promotion and a raise.
940
00:46:53,910 --> 00:46:56,495
I can't believe we're
actually related.
941
00:46:56,579 --> 00:46:58,371
As soon as I can
I'm gonna come clean.
942
00:46:58,456 --> 00:47:01,458
Things are complicated.
The company depends on me.
943
00:47:01,542 --> 00:47:05,712
I have heard enough.
I am out of here.
944
00:47:05,796 --> 00:47:09,132
[soft cheerful music]
945
00:47:14,013 --> 00:47:15,055
Morning, Thea.
946
00:47:15,139 --> 00:47:16,681
Last month's
and this month's.
947
00:47:16,766 --> 00:47:18,350
Wow, early.
That's a first.
948
00:47:20,603 --> 00:47:22,270
I've got
something for you.
949
00:47:22,355 --> 00:47:24,105
Oh, you made these?
950
00:47:24,190 --> 00:47:25,440
Yes.
951
00:47:25,525 --> 00:47:28,610
I went with marigold
because it's neutral.
952
00:47:28,694 --> 00:47:30,362
Thank you.
953
00:47:33,491 --> 00:47:34,658
Hey.
954
00:47:34,742 --> 00:47:37,911
Hey. Okay, not that
you're interested,
955
00:47:37,995 --> 00:47:40,956
but the word is
that Nick's divorce
is finalized this week.
956
00:47:41,040 --> 00:47:42,249
Garth told me.
957
00:47:42,333 --> 00:47:43,917
Garth told you?
958
00:47:44,001 --> 00:47:46,586
I've been
hanging out
with him, Miss Busy.
959
00:47:46,671 --> 00:47:49,923
I took the liberty
of picking you up a
calcium-enriched smoothie
960
00:47:50,007 --> 00:47:53,385
and a bran muffin.
I figured you might be
getting a little backed up.
961
00:47:53,469 --> 00:47:54,469
Thanks, Greg.
962
00:47:54,554 --> 00:47:56,638
You're welcome.
Excuse me.
963
00:47:56,722 --> 00:47:59,182
Greg's worried about
you being backed up?
964
00:47:59,267 --> 00:48:02,060
Constipation is
a common problem
for pregnant women.
965
00:48:02,144 --> 00:48:04,271
Ach.
966
00:48:04,355 --> 00:48:07,941
Well, lucky
for you you're
not actually pregnant.
967
00:48:08,025 --> 00:48:09,943
Or do you even
know that anymore?
968
00:48:10,027 --> 00:48:11,820
Of course I know
that. Obviously.
969
00:48:11,904 --> 00:48:13,238
[knocking]
970
00:48:13,322 --> 00:48:14,948
Hi, sorry to interrupt.
971
00:48:15,032 --> 00:48:18,451
wanted to get you
a little something.
I ordered it off of eBay.
972
00:48:20,329 --> 00:48:23,206
It's an armadillo
foot for, for when
you're in labor.
973
00:48:23,291 --> 00:48:25,500
It, it wards
off the evil eye.
974
00:48:25,585 --> 00:48:28,003
Thank you so much, Carl.
That's so sweet of you.
975
00:48:28,087 --> 00:48:30,547
I'll keep it with
me the whole time.
976
00:48:30,631 --> 00:48:34,926
Oh-kay. I know I told
you to go along with
this for a few weeks,
977
00:48:35,011 --> 00:48:36,970
but you're starting
to freak me out.
978
00:48:37,054 --> 00:48:38,930
Things are going
really well for me.
979
00:48:39,015 --> 00:48:41,975
It's not because
of the stomach.
You're doing good work.
980
00:48:42,059 --> 00:48:44,519
The only thing
you're doing bad
is walking around
981
00:48:44,604 --> 00:48:47,063
with a load of
bullshit strapped
to your stomach.
982
00:48:47,148 --> 00:48:48,356
Nick. Nick.
983
00:48:48,441 --> 00:48:49,649
[whispers]
Nick.
984
00:48:49,734 --> 00:48:51,109
What's up?
985
00:48:51,193 --> 00:48:53,361
You won't
believe who left
me a voicemail.
986
00:48:53,446 --> 00:48:55,363
An Associate
producer from the Vista.
987
00:48:55,448 --> 00:48:56,531
No way.
988
00:48:56,616 --> 00:48:58,033
She read the book,
loves it,
989
00:48:58,117 --> 00:49:00,118
with Claire's
approval, we'll be in.
990
00:49:00,202 --> 00:49:02,203
That would be
the greatest thing ever.
991
00:49:02,288 --> 00:49:04,039
Oh!
992
00:49:04,123 --> 00:49:05,332
Oh.
993
00:49:05,416 --> 00:49:08,835
Sorry. I, I'm a bit
of a closet hugger.
994
00:49:08,919 --> 00:49:10,462
I, that won't
happen again.
995
00:49:10,546 --> 00:49:12,047
That's, that's okay.
996
00:49:12,131 --> 00:49:13,798
[intercom]
Nick, Jerry for you.
997
00:49:13,883 --> 00:49:16,217
Oh. Uh, put
him through.
998
00:49:16,302 --> 00:49:18,178
How you holding
down the fort, Nicky?
999
00:49:18,262 --> 00:49:20,347
Good, Everything's
going great.
1000
00:49:20,431 --> 00:49:22,057
Working on a little project.
1001
00:49:22,141 --> 00:49:24,267
You haven't done
anything stupid, have you?
1002
00:49:24,352 --> 00:49:25,685
No, of course not.
1003
00:49:25,770 --> 00:49:28,688
You're doing
great, sweetie.
1004
00:49:28,773 --> 00:49:30,357
[whimpers]
1005
00:49:30,441 --> 00:49:34,653
Do me a favor, Nick.
No little projects.
Don't do anything.
1006
00:49:34,737 --> 00:49:39,407
Don't touch anything.
If you need a project,
try Match.com.
1007
00:49:39,492 --> 00:49:41,910
It's been awhile since
you've seen any action.
1008
00:49:41,994 --> 00:49:44,496
Okay, Jerry. I'll talk
to you later. Thank you.
1009
00:49:46,207 --> 00:49:47,874
It really hasn't
been that long.
1010
00:49:47,958 --> 00:49:49,584
I'm, I'm sure.
1011
00:49:49,669 --> 00:49:52,629
Um, okay. I got a lot
of work to do. So, I'm
gonna go do it.
1012
00:49:52,713 --> 00:49:55,340
Okay. Bye.
1013
00:49:55,424 --> 00:49:57,175
[vacuum cleaner]
1014
00:50:00,554 --> 00:50:02,430
So the book comes
out in three weeks.
1015
00:50:02,515 --> 00:50:05,141
That, that gives us
plenty of time for publicity.
1016
00:50:11,190 --> 00:50:12,982
I hope you don't mind.
1017
00:50:13,067 --> 00:50:15,527
I just couldn't
take it anymore.
1018
00:50:19,740 --> 00:50:21,324
Oh, wow.
1019
00:50:21,409 --> 00:50:22,742
I can see!
1020
00:50:22,827 --> 00:50:24,577
[chuckles]
1021
00:50:24,662 --> 00:50:27,414
God. I don't know
if you know this,
but you're pregnant.
1022
00:50:27,498 --> 00:50:30,667
Your sense of humor
really takes a dive
after nine o'clock, huh?
1023
00:50:30,751 --> 00:50:32,127
Is it after nine?
1024
00:50:32,211 --> 00:50:33,545
Yeah.
1025
00:50:33,629 --> 00:50:36,005
Oh, my God,
I'm slave-driving
a pregnant woman.
1026
00:50:36,090 --> 00:50:37,716
Not at all,
I want to be here.
1027
00:50:37,800 --> 00:50:40,760
I do, I feel I'm
making up for lost time.
1028
00:50:40,845 --> 00:50:43,471
And I'm really
grateful you've
given me this shot.
1029
00:50:43,556 --> 00:50:45,557
So, thanks.
1030
00:50:45,641 --> 00:50:46,933
It's my pleasure.
1031
00:50:52,064 --> 00:50:54,023
You should be at
home with your fiancé.
1032
00:50:54,108 --> 00:50:56,401
Right. My fiancé.
1033
00:51:00,740 --> 00:51:02,490
I'm taking you home.
1034
00:51:02,575 --> 00:51:06,745
But, I promise to
have ridiculously
high expectations
1035
00:51:06,829 --> 00:51:07,954
of you in the morning.
1036
00:51:08,038 --> 00:51:08,997
[softly chuckles]
1037
00:51:09,081 --> 00:51:10,498
Thank you.
1038
00:51:10,583 --> 00:51:12,834
Well, here, no, no.
1039
00:51:12,918 --> 00:51:14,252
Okay.
1040
00:51:14,336 --> 00:51:16,796
[cheerful music]
1041
00:51:23,345 --> 00:51:24,429
[velcro sound]
1042
00:52:02,301 --> 00:52:03,343
Is this your first?
1043
00:52:03,427 --> 00:52:05,929
Yeah. I can't wait.
And you?
1044
00:52:06,013 --> 00:52:07,138
It's mine, too.
1045
00:52:09,433 --> 00:52:10,975
Would you
sign this, please?
1046
00:52:17,149 --> 00:52:18,650
(Nick)
Oh, that's amazing.
1047
00:52:18,734 --> 00:52:22,278
What about
Thea? Thea?
1048
00:52:22,363 --> 00:52:23,947
Absolutely, you.
1049
00:52:24,031 --> 00:52:25,073
No, no, no.
1050
00:52:25,157 --> 00:52:26,199
Yes.
1051
00:52:26,283 --> 00:52:27,408
Yes.
1052
00:52:27,493 --> 00:52:29,202
No, I stay
behind the camera.
1053
00:52:29,286 --> 00:52:31,120
You, over here
right now.
1054
00:52:31,205 --> 00:52:33,081
(Nick)
Come on, give it a shot.
1055
00:52:35,417 --> 00:52:36,459
Oh, yeah.
1056
00:52:36,544 --> 00:52:37,627
Work it.
1057
00:52:37,711 --> 00:52:38,795
Nick.
1058
00:52:38,879 --> 00:52:40,672
Make love
to the...
1059
00:52:40,756 --> 00:52:43,508
Sorry. I know
you don't actually
say that. I'm sorry.
1060
00:52:47,304 --> 00:52:49,889
Thanks for coming here
with me. I had
such a craving.
1061
00:52:49,974 --> 00:52:51,933
Are you kidding me?
I love mud slide pie.
1062
00:52:52,017 --> 00:52:54,435
I think we could
use a little more
whipped cream.
1063
00:52:54,520 --> 00:52:56,521
Oh, did I tell you we
signed Bournachle?
1064
00:52:56,605 --> 00:52:58,273
Thanks for hooking
us up with him.
1065
00:52:58,357 --> 00:53:01,025
My pleasure. Oh, I may
have some good news.
1066
00:53:01,110 --> 00:53:04,362
I may have gotten us two
spots in Sunshine Daycare.
1067
00:53:04,446 --> 00:53:07,574
Great. Thanks. I haven't
even thought about daycare.
1068
00:53:07,658 --> 00:53:10,410
I don't know how you
do it, with your kid,
your pregnancy
1069
00:53:10,494 --> 00:53:13,538
and your job. I can't
even take care of my
little sister, Emma.
1070
00:53:13,622 --> 00:53:15,790
I wish my mother left
me user instructions.
1071
00:53:15,875 --> 00:53:18,209
Well, there are no
hard and fast rules.
1072
00:53:18,294 --> 00:53:20,003
You just have to go
with your gut.
1073
00:53:20,087 --> 00:53:23,256
Yeah, well I certainly
have no shortage of
gut at the moment.
1074
00:53:23,340 --> 00:53:26,885
Well, when all else
fails, sugar and shopping.
1075
00:53:26,969 --> 00:53:28,970
Very persuasive.
1076
00:53:38,063 --> 00:53:39,689
[doorbell]
1077
00:53:42,735 --> 00:53:43,776
Hi.
1078
00:53:43,861 --> 00:53:45,445
Hi. Is Emma here?
1079
00:53:45,529 --> 00:53:48,281
Hi, Emma. Can you
babysit tomorrow night?
1080
00:53:48,365 --> 00:53:50,283
Oh, I can't,
Donna. Sorry.
1081
00:53:50,367 --> 00:53:52,660
I have to study
with my friend Chloe.
1082
00:53:52,745 --> 00:53:55,663
Um, I can do it.
1083
00:53:55,748 --> 00:53:57,415
You know, good practice.
1084
00:53:57,499 --> 00:54:00,793
That's right. Oh, God.
Thea, you are the best.
1085
00:54:00,878 --> 00:54:02,337
Tomorrow night at eight?
1086
00:54:02,421 --> 00:54:03,588
Yes.
1087
00:54:03,672 --> 00:54:04,797
Great. Bye.
1088
00:54:07,968 --> 00:54:11,638
I don't even know who you
are right now, but you're
definitely not the best.
1089
00:54:11,764 --> 00:54:15,725
Do you wanna make cupcakes
and then maybe go shopping
at Forever Twenty-One?
1090
00:54:15,809 --> 00:54:20,688
No. Actually I'd rather
scrub myself down with
a pineapple
1091
00:54:20,773 --> 00:54:22,482
than do that.
1092
00:54:24,902 --> 00:54:26,861
(Kristen)
I don't know what to do.
1093
00:54:26,946 --> 00:54:32,659
this was Dan's idea. He
was all, like, let's have
a baby. It'll be so cute.
1094
00:54:32,743 --> 00:54:35,036
You know? I was,
like really?
1095
00:54:35,120 --> 00:54:39,040
Really? Well, let's strap
50 pounds of cement
to your torso
1096
00:54:39,166 --> 00:54:42,585
and see how fun it is then.
You know, I just--
[sobs]
1097
00:54:42,670 --> 00:54:45,755
Yeah. I know.
I understand.
1098
00:54:45,839 --> 00:54:48,633
I just need a drink.
Or some weed.
1099
00:54:48,717 --> 00:54:50,385
I know it's scary.
1100
00:54:50,469 --> 00:54:54,681
I mean, the fact that
we're gonna have these
tiny fragile humans
1101
00:54:54,765 --> 00:54:58,059
totally dependent
on us. It's kind of
freaking me out, too
1102
00:54:58,143 --> 00:54:59,394
Really?
1103
00:54:59,478 --> 00:55:00,770
Yeah.
1104
00:55:00,854 --> 00:55:03,189
'Cause, Thea, you just,
you seem so together.
1105
00:55:03,273 --> 00:55:04,732
Oh, hi.
1106
00:55:04,817 --> 00:55:06,192
We need to talk.
1107
00:55:06,276 --> 00:55:07,944
What happened?
1108
00:55:08,028 --> 00:55:09,904
Okay, thanks
for listening.
1109
00:55:14,785 --> 00:55:16,285
Uh,
1110
00:55:16,370 --> 00:55:18,329
I uh,
1111
00:55:18,414 --> 00:55:20,707
I kind of got into
an altercation with Miles.
1112
00:55:20,791 --> 00:55:22,250
What are you talking about?
1113
00:55:22,334 --> 00:55:24,919
He was kissing
another woman.
So I confronted him.
1114
00:55:25,004 --> 00:55:28,131
And he told me
he's not the father.
1115
00:55:28,215 --> 00:55:29,590
So I punched him.
1116
00:55:29,675 --> 00:55:30,800
You what?
1117
00:55:30,884 --> 00:55:34,220
I punched him.
I couldn't help it.
1118
00:55:34,304 --> 00:55:36,889
You deserve better than
that, Thea, a, a lot better.
1119
00:55:36,974 --> 00:55:40,184
Nick, Miles
is not the father.
1120
00:55:40,269 --> 00:55:42,061
He's not even
my boyfriend anymore.
1121
00:55:42,146 --> 00:55:44,355
The truth is,
there is no father.
1122
00:55:44,481 --> 00:55:48,276
I mean, there is but it was
a one-night stand and he's
out of the picture now.
1123
00:55:48,360 --> 00:55:53,364
Thea, there is nothing
wrong with being
a single mother.
1124
00:55:53,449 --> 00:55:54,615
Okay.
1125
00:55:54,700 --> 00:55:56,284
[knocking]
1126
00:55:56,368 --> 00:55:59,996
[clears throat]
The printer
has a question
He's on line one.
1127
00:56:00,080 --> 00:56:01,873
Okay.
1128
00:56:03,292 --> 00:56:04,834
Oh.
1129
00:56:04,918 --> 00:56:07,128
What was that about?
He looks like a maniac.
1130
00:56:07,212 --> 00:56:08,629
I just told
Nick the truth.
1131
00:56:08,714 --> 00:56:10,465
[gasps]
How'd he take it?
1132
00:56:10,549 --> 00:56:13,301
Okay. He doesn't
think I should be
with Miles anyway.
1133
00:56:13,385 --> 00:56:15,678
Yeah, but what did he
say about the pregnancy?
1134
00:56:15,763 --> 00:56:18,056
He didn't say anything
about the pregnancy.
1135
00:56:18,140 --> 00:56:19,724
What's there to say?
1136
00:56:19,808 --> 00:56:22,894
Thea. We should talk.
Do you want to get
a beer after work?
1137
00:56:22,978 --> 00:56:25,897
A beer? You know
I can't drink.
1138
00:56:29,068 --> 00:56:31,027
[rhythmic music]
1139
00:56:31,111 --> 00:56:33,071
Is your stomach growing?
1140
00:56:33,155 --> 00:56:35,073
Well, I'm nearly
six months now.
1141
00:56:41,413 --> 00:56:42,663
(Thea)
Hi, how are you?
1142
00:56:42,748 --> 00:56:44,916
Where's my
sister, Emma?
1143
00:56:46,752 --> 00:56:49,337
(Emma coming in)
Hey.
1144
00:56:49,421 --> 00:56:51,214
How was practice?
1145
00:56:51,298 --> 00:56:53,091
Fine. Same as usual.
1146
00:56:53,217 --> 00:56:57,929
Really? That's funny
because Coach Henretti
told me you quit a month ago.
1147
00:56:58,055 --> 00:57:01,933
I found this
in your backpack. You've
got some explaining to do.
1148
00:57:02,017 --> 00:57:04,519
That's dried cilantro.
1149
00:57:04,603 --> 00:57:05,686
Yeah, right.
1150
00:57:05,771 --> 00:57:07,355
Smell it.
1151
00:57:10,234 --> 00:57:12,443
Okay, maybe it is. But
where were you today?
1152
00:57:12,528 --> 00:57:15,363
At Jake's,
waiting tables.
1153
00:57:15,447 --> 00:57:17,740
You've been
lying for weeks.
1154
00:57:17,825 --> 00:57:19,325
Hey, I learn
from the best.
1155
00:57:25,874 --> 00:57:29,377
Hey, um, your
boss is here.
1156
00:57:29,461 --> 00:57:30,795
What?
1157
00:57:30,879 --> 00:57:33,172
Maybe he wants
to make cupcakes with you.
1158
00:57:33,257 --> 00:57:35,383
Um, can you get my
stomach? It's in my room.
1159
00:57:35,467 --> 00:57:39,929
Yeah. But, um, it'll
cost you 25 bucks.
1160
00:57:40,013 --> 00:57:41,264
15!
1161
00:57:41,348 --> 00:57:42,932
Sold.
1162
00:57:43,016 --> 00:57:45,768
She'll be right with you.
She's just getting dressed.
1163
00:57:45,853 --> 00:57:46,853
Okay, thanks.
1164
00:57:52,818 --> 00:57:56,445
Does it make you feel weird
knowing she's naked only,
like, ten feet away.
1165
00:57:56,530 --> 00:57:58,072
Em!
1166
00:57:58,157 --> 00:57:59,657
Coming.
1167
00:57:59,741 --> 00:58:00,783
Stomach.
1168
00:58:00,868 --> 00:58:02,076
No. Pay me.
1169
00:58:02,161 --> 00:58:04,162
I'll pay you after.
Give me the stomach.
1170
00:58:04,246 --> 00:58:07,540
A promise from Thea?
I can't take that to the
bank. Just pay me know.
1171
00:58:12,004 --> 00:58:14,964
Thank you.
Here's your fake belly.
1172
00:58:15,048 --> 00:58:16,007
Shut up. Get out.
1173
00:58:18,552 --> 00:58:19,594
Hello.
1174
00:58:19,678 --> 00:58:20,845
Hey.
1175
00:58:20,929 --> 00:58:22,805
(Emma)
Okay.
1176
00:58:22,890 --> 00:58:24,223
Hey.
1177
00:58:24,308 --> 00:58:26,809
Um, I, I just,
I thought I'd
stop by, uh...
1178
00:58:26,894 --> 00:58:29,770
I wanted to show
you something.
1179
00:58:29,897 --> 00:58:34,317
It's our very first
complete copy of the book
with cover and everything.
1180
00:58:34,401 --> 00:58:38,070
That's, that's great!
And, wow, I'm on the cover.
1181
00:58:38,155 --> 00:58:41,574
Oh. And we booked,
uh, Tynan's bookstore
for the book launch.
1182
00:58:41,658 --> 00:58:42,950
That's awesome.
1183
00:58:43,035 --> 00:58:45,161
Well, um, I
should probably
get outta here
1184
00:58:45,245 --> 00:58:47,121
and let you
enjoy your Saturday.
1185
00:58:47,206 --> 00:58:49,874
Well, um, if you're
free then do you
wanna get coffee?
1186
00:58:49,958 --> 00:58:51,209
Sure.
1187
00:58:54,463 --> 00:58:58,716
(Nick)
I had a dog once. Then
Jerry stole it, took it
to college with him.
1188
00:58:58,800 --> 00:59:00,301
Oh. [chuckles]
1189
00:59:00,385 --> 00:59:03,679
There's something amazing
about having a child.
1190
00:59:03,764 --> 00:59:09,101
It makes you
feel like a part
of something bigger,
1191
00:59:09,186 --> 00:59:13,773
you know,
even if it's not real.
Well, for me, that is.
1192
00:59:15,609 --> 00:59:19,612
Lydia didn't want children.
And I never questioned it.
1193
00:59:19,696 --> 00:59:21,906
But now I,
1194
00:59:21,990 --> 00:59:27,954
I realize, I, I do
wanna be a father.
1195
00:59:47,599 --> 00:59:51,143
I've been wanting to do
that for a really long time.
1196
00:59:51,228 --> 00:59:53,521
Actually, I just,
just did that.
1197
00:59:53,605 --> 00:59:55,189
Right.
1198
00:59:55,274 --> 00:59:58,025
We should probably take
things slowly though.
1199
00:59:58,110 --> 00:59:59,527
Absolutely.
1200
00:59:59,611 --> 01:00:01,362
Yeah.
1201
01:00:14,167 --> 01:00:16,502
I have to...
I just realized...
1202
01:00:16,586 --> 01:00:18,129
I have to go.
1203
01:00:18,213 --> 01:00:20,715
There's somewhere...
I have to go somewhere.
1204
01:00:20,799 --> 01:00:21,924
Sure. Okay.
1205
01:00:22,009 --> 01:00:23,884
My sister...
I'll talk to you later.
1206
01:00:23,969 --> 01:00:25,261
Okay.
1207
01:00:25,345 --> 01:00:27,430
[soft music]
1208
01:00:42,321 --> 01:00:44,572
Yes, she's due
the sixth of October.
1209
01:00:44,656 --> 01:00:47,241
Alright. Okay.
1210
01:00:47,326 --> 01:00:50,578
That was your
friend, Rachel.
And these are for you.
1211
01:00:50,662 --> 01:00:52,538
She saw the book
at Crown Books.
1212
01:00:52,622 --> 01:00:54,957
How come you didn't
tell her you were pregnant?
1213
01:00:55,042 --> 01:00:57,501
I thought I
told her. It must
have slipped my mind.
1214
01:00:57,586 --> 01:00:59,170
Pregnancy brain.
1215
01:00:59,254 --> 01:01:02,340
I was planning
on waiting a little
longer to start a family.
1216
01:01:02,424 --> 01:01:04,633
Sow my wild oats
a little bit.
1217
01:01:04,718 --> 01:01:07,803
But, I feel like there is
a larger purpose for me.
1218
01:01:07,888 --> 01:01:13,059
Thea, you need
someone who is
smart and responsible.
1219
01:01:13,143 --> 01:01:14,643
Oh, God.
1220
01:01:14,728 --> 01:01:18,272
I offer myself to you,
mind and body,
heart and soul.
1221
01:01:18,357 --> 01:01:20,775
Let me be your
baby daddy.
1222
01:01:20,859 --> 01:01:24,528
Uh-uh-uh, that's
very generous of you.
1223
01:01:24,613 --> 01:01:28,824
But it's, you know...
that's not gonna ha...
1224
01:01:28,909 --> 01:01:31,660
Don't worry about it.
It's a tough decision.
1225
01:01:31,745 --> 01:01:33,621
Thea, can I
talk to you?
1226
01:01:33,705 --> 01:01:35,164
Yeah, sure, yes.
1227
01:01:35,248 --> 01:01:36,499
Yes, absolutely.
1228
01:01:36,583 --> 01:01:38,459
If you could
let me know
before lunch.
1229
01:01:38,543 --> 01:01:40,378
I have a J date
I'd have to cancel.
1230
01:01:40,462 --> 01:01:43,839
I don't want to
do that if I don't have
to. She's a little older...
1231
01:01:46,051 --> 01:01:47,510
So you're
ready for tonight?
1232
01:01:47,594 --> 01:01:49,595
Yeah. Totally.
1233
01:01:49,679 --> 01:01:51,889
We should clear the air.
1234
01:01:55,394 --> 01:01:57,937
I've been thinking a lot
about what happened.
1235
01:01:58,021 --> 01:02:00,147
And I feel
terrible about it.
1236
01:02:00,232 --> 01:02:01,816
You do?
1237
01:02:01,900 --> 01:02:05,569
I'm your boss and
I made... [whispers]
I made a pass at you.
1238
01:02:05,654 --> 01:02:07,947
Nick, that's not it.
I made a pass at you.
1239
01:02:08,031 --> 01:02:10,199
I caught that pass
and I threw it back.
1240
01:02:10,283 --> 01:02:11,325
And I liked it.
1241
01:02:11,410 --> 01:02:12,701
You did?
1242
01:02:12,786 --> 01:02:14,578
Look, that's not
what it is,
1243
01:02:17,541 --> 01:02:19,333
I'm just afraid of...
1244
01:02:19,418 --> 01:02:22,670
There's a guy, Philip,
at reception. He says
he's the father?
1245
01:02:22,754 --> 01:02:24,338
Do want me
to talk to this guy?
1246
01:02:24,423 --> 01:02:26,215
No, no, no.
It's okay.
1247
01:02:26,299 --> 01:02:27,550
(Greg)
I'll talk to him.
1248
01:02:27,634 --> 01:02:29,969
It's okay.
Thank you both.
Excuse me.
1249
01:02:30,053 --> 01:02:32,805
Young man, don't
you have any sense
of responsibility?
1250
01:02:32,889 --> 01:02:35,683
I didn't even
know, lady. She
never returned my calls.
1251
01:02:35,767 --> 01:02:38,352
Christ, is it
mine, Thea?
1252
01:02:38,437 --> 01:02:39,854
Believe me,
it's not yours.
1253
01:02:39,938 --> 01:02:42,064
(Phillip)
You can't be sure.
I did the math.
1254
01:02:42,149 --> 01:02:43,482
Believe me.
I can be sure.
1255
01:02:43,567 --> 01:02:45,234
(Philip)
I demand a DNA test!
1256
01:02:45,318 --> 01:02:46,360
Yeah. I'll tell her.
1257
01:02:46,445 --> 01:02:47,862
Bye.
1258
01:02:47,946 --> 01:02:49,697
(Ann)
Your sister
needs you at home.
1259
01:02:49,781 --> 01:02:51,365
A fire
in the toilet?
1260
01:02:51,450 --> 01:02:54,452
Your toilet's
on fire? Isn’t that
technically impossible?
1261
01:02:54,536 --> 01:02:55,911
Who's Philip?
1262
01:02:55,996 --> 01:02:59,039
Uh, an old,
old boyfriend.
Big misunderstanding.
1263
01:02:59,124 --> 01:03:00,374
Everything okay?
1264
01:03:00,459 --> 01:03:03,002
Yeah. Everything's okay.
No worries here.
1265
01:03:03,128 --> 01:03:07,047
Completely under control.
But, uh, I, I should probably
get home to my sister.
1266
01:03:07,132 --> 01:03:09,633
I'll meet you
at the party.
Whoa. Sorry.
1267
01:03:23,732 --> 01:03:25,274
[all]
Surprise!
1268
01:03:25,358 --> 01:03:26,692
[applause]
Surprise!
1269
01:03:27,611 --> 01:03:28,611
[gasps]
1270
01:03:28,695 --> 01:03:30,196
Hi, everyone.
1271
01:03:30,280 --> 01:03:31,906
Oh my God,
Aunt Betty!
1272
01:03:31,990 --> 01:03:34,617
Surprise, darlin'. Darlin'.
1273
01:03:34,701 --> 01:03:37,495
It's so good
to see you.
1274
01:03:37,579 --> 01:03:40,581
Aunt Jane
and I just drove
in from Seattle.
1275
01:03:40,665 --> 01:03:43,792
Oh, Aunt,
thank you, it's so
sweet of you to do this.
1276
01:03:43,877 --> 01:03:46,378
(Thea)
Thank you.
1277
01:03:49,049 --> 01:03:50,257
[all gasp]
Oooh!
1278
01:03:50,342 --> 01:03:52,384
Ooh, it's a onesies.
Just what I needed.
1279
01:03:52,469 --> 01:03:53,969
We all decorated them.
1280
01:03:54,054 --> 01:03:55,930
Who made this one?
1281
01:03:59,184 --> 01:04:00,226
And this one?
1282
01:04:00,310 --> 01:04:01,810
[speaks baby gibberish]
1283
01:04:01,895 --> 01:04:03,646
What a good job, Sam!
1284
01:04:03,730 --> 01:04:05,231
[chuckles]
1285
01:04:05,315 --> 01:04:06,899
[total silence]
1286
01:04:06,983 --> 01:04:08,692
That one's mine.
1287
01:04:08,777 --> 01:04:10,277
(Emma)
I just thought
1288
01:04:10,362 --> 01:04:12,821
it was
a little ironic.
[doorbell]
1289
01:04:12,906 --> 01:04:16,492
(Donna)
More people are
coming. Hi. Who is it?
1290
01:04:16,576 --> 01:04:19,245
(Lisa)
Whoa. [laughs]
1291
01:04:19,371 --> 01:04:22,957
(Lisa)
Hey, well, I hate
to break up the party,
but, uh, we need to talk.
1292
01:04:23,041 --> 01:04:24,959
(Lisa)
Everybody hang
onto your seats
1293
01:04:25,043 --> 01:04:27,253
just in case something
happens to her story.
1294
01:04:27,337 --> 01:04:30,214
Uh, no, I should get changed.
I need to be at a work event.
1295
01:04:30,298 --> 01:04:32,466
So thank you
for the shower, everyone.
1296
01:04:32,551 --> 01:04:34,343
Thank you.
1297
01:04:34,427 --> 01:04:35,719
(woman)
Bye.
1298
01:04:38,932 --> 01:04:42,810
She is so out
of control. Look.
She has stockpiled
1299
01:04:42,894 --> 01:04:46,981
all of this random stuff
in her closet. I mean,
what is this? Seriously.
1300
01:04:47,065 --> 01:04:48,732
It was on sale.
1301
01:04:48,817 --> 01:04:52,486
Okay. I need you to say,
My name is Thea and I
am not pregnant.
1302
01:04:52,571 --> 01:04:55,155
This is ridiculous.
And I've gotta go.
1303
01:04:55,240 --> 01:04:56,407
Come here.
1304
01:04:58,410 --> 01:05:00,786
(Lisa)
You have got
to come clean.
1305
01:05:02,414 --> 01:05:06,834
I will. Okay?
I promise. Just not yet.
1306
01:05:06,918 --> 01:05:10,629
It's just I'm better
pregnant. For once,
my life doesn't suck.
1307
01:05:10,714 --> 01:05:14,466
And I can't go
back to being Jerry's
secretary or unemployed.
1308
01:05:14,593 --> 01:05:18,012
(Emma)
What are you gonna
do? Stay pregnant for
the rest of your life?
1309
01:05:18,096 --> 01:05:21,557
People will
get suspicious.
1310
01:05:21,641 --> 01:05:23,934
Act like a grown-up.
Stop playing dress-up.
1311
01:05:24,060 --> 01:05:27,313
(Emma)
Oh, my God, this
is ridiculous. Take
off the stomach now!
1312
01:05:27,397 --> 01:05:28,522
No.
1313
01:05:28,607 --> 01:05:30,357
Then I'm gonna
take it off for you.
1314
01:05:30,442 --> 01:05:31,609
Get off of me!
1315
01:05:31,693 --> 01:05:32,860
Let me take it off!
1316
01:05:32,944 --> 01:05:34,111
Get off of me.
1317
01:05:34,195 --> 01:05:37,656
Oh, hey!
Hey, guys!
Emma, stop it!
1318
01:05:37,741 --> 01:05:39,283
[muffled]
(Lisa)
Stop it!
1319
01:05:39,367 --> 01:05:40,618
(Emma)
Let me take it off!
1320
01:05:40,702 --> 01:05:42,119
Making noise.
1321
01:05:42,203 --> 01:05:43,412
They are
making noise.
1322
01:05:43,496 --> 01:05:44,705
Hey! Stop it!
1323
01:05:44,789 --> 01:05:45,873
Take that thing off.
1324
01:05:45,957 --> 01:05:48,542
(Lisa)
I said stop. Gosh.
1325
01:05:48,627 --> 01:05:50,878
(Lisa)
Come on.
1326
01:05:50,962 --> 01:05:52,087
Stay back!
1327
01:05:52,172 --> 01:05:53,714
I'll get that
thing off of you.
1328
01:05:53,798 --> 01:05:54,882
Get off of me!
1329
01:05:54,966 --> 01:05:56,675
I'm gonna take
that thing off now!
1330
01:05:56,760 --> 01:05:57,760
Give it back!
1331
01:05:57,844 --> 01:05:59,136
[ripping]
Agh.
1332
01:05:59,220 --> 01:06:00,763
What are you doing?
[gasps]
1333
01:06:00,847 --> 01:06:02,056
[gasps]
1334
01:06:02,140 --> 01:06:03,307
[panting]
1335
01:06:03,391 --> 01:06:05,225
You are so grounded!
1336
01:06:05,310 --> 01:06:06,560
Forever!
1337
01:06:11,983 --> 01:06:14,443
(Lisa)
Uh, ladies.
1338
01:06:14,527 --> 01:06:16,445
I think we need
to re-group.
1339
01:06:16,529 --> 01:06:19,406
(Emma)
Stark raving mad.
1340
01:06:19,491 --> 01:06:21,200
[rhythmic music]
1341
01:06:24,663 --> 01:06:25,746
Excuse me.
1342
01:06:25,830 --> 01:06:26,830
[gasp]
1343
01:06:26,915 --> 01:06:28,332
[cheerful music]
1344
01:06:28,416 --> 01:06:30,584
(Aunt Betty)
What are you doing?
1345
01:06:36,549 --> 01:06:38,425
(woman)
I thought
she was pregnant.
1346
01:06:38,510 --> 01:06:39,593
[sighs]
1347
01:06:39,678 --> 01:06:41,637
Um.
1348
01:06:41,721 --> 01:06:43,597
(woman)
I'm really confused.
1349
01:06:54,192 --> 01:06:59,029
Well, that is the last
time I throw a surprise
party for anyone.
1350
01:06:59,114 --> 01:07:00,823
That baked zitti
goes home with me.
1351
01:07:00,907 --> 01:07:03,992
[walla]
1352
01:07:07,539 --> 01:07:09,957
Sorry. I had to take
care of things with Em.
1353
01:07:10,041 --> 01:07:11,500
The toilet fire?
1354
01:07:11,584 --> 01:07:13,419
Yeah, I
got the blaze
under control.
1355
01:07:13,503 --> 01:07:16,338
You guys are
amazing. This is a
great turnout. Thank you.
1356
01:07:16,423 --> 01:07:18,298
Okay.
1357
01:07:18,383 --> 01:07:23,137
Time to struggle
with public speaking.
Sit back and enjoy.
1358
01:07:23,221 --> 01:07:24,596
You're gonna
be great.
1359
01:07:24,681 --> 01:07:25,681
Thanks.
1360
01:07:25,765 --> 01:07:27,057
[kissing sound]
1361
01:07:29,394 --> 01:07:31,854
What was that?
Are you guys...
1362
01:07:31,938 --> 01:07:34,440
I don't know.
Maybe. Kinda.
1363
01:07:34,524 --> 01:07:35,983
(Suzie)
Hey. Good.
1364
01:07:36,067 --> 01:07:40,070
Good evening,
everyone. I'm back!
1365
01:07:40,155 --> 01:07:42,573
(Jerry)
MacArthur finished
rehab a week early.
1366
01:07:42,699 --> 01:07:46,326
What's the
matter, Nicky? You
don't look happy to see me.
1367
01:07:46,411 --> 01:07:49,246
Of course I am, Jerry.
Welcome back.
1368
01:07:49,330 --> 01:07:51,498
You're just in time
for Suzie's reading.
1369
01:07:51,583 --> 01:07:53,208
I got a little
surprise for you.
1370
01:07:53,293 --> 01:07:56,336
I just signed Rumsfeld
for his first book deal!
1371
01:07:56,421 --> 01:07:57,755
Donald?
1372
01:07:57,839 --> 01:07:59,965
No, Carlos.
Of course Donald.
1373
01:08:00,049 --> 01:08:02,009
I met him
at the rehab facility.
1374
01:08:02,093 --> 01:08:04,052
His cat had a terrible
case of sciatica.
1375
01:08:04,179 --> 01:08:07,890
They had to put the poor
thing on oxycontin. She
got addicted. It was a mess.
1376
01:08:07,974 --> 01:08:09,683
I'm in the middle
of something.
1377
01:08:09,768 --> 01:08:12,603
Rummy's book
is genius. It's gonna
put us back on the map.
1378
01:08:12,687 --> 01:08:15,314
It's a completely unique
opus about his time in Iraq
1379
01:08:15,398 --> 01:08:17,691
sprinkled with some
of his favorite recipes.
1380
01:08:17,776 --> 01:08:20,194
It's called "Fire It Up."
Here's the manuscript.
1381
01:08:20,278 --> 01:08:23,530
It sounds great, Jerry,
but I've got a reading
now. Can this wait?
1382
01:08:23,615 --> 01:08:25,866
You know what?
I'll be reading my book.
1383
01:08:25,950 --> 01:08:28,535
(Jerry)
I'm shutting down
your little operation.
1384
01:08:30,747 --> 01:08:32,498
Jerry, Suzie's
book is a real gem.
1385
01:08:32,582 --> 01:08:34,249
It could be a hit
for the company.
1386
01:08:34,334 --> 01:08:37,836
What are you so
afraid of? That I might
do a better job than you?
1387
01:08:37,921 --> 01:08:40,047
Hmm. Let me think.
1388
01:08:40,131 --> 01:08:43,759
Have you ever done better
than me at anything?
1389
01:08:43,843 --> 01:08:47,179
Hello, everybody. I've got
a treat for you tonight.
1390
01:08:47,263 --> 01:08:50,474
I'm gonna
be reading from Donald
Rumsfeld's new book.
1391
01:08:50,558 --> 01:08:52,893
Here's a particularly
touching passage
1392
01:08:52,977 --> 01:08:56,396
about a short rib
recipe he picked
up while in Baghdad.
1393
01:08:56,481 --> 01:08:59,650
Suzie's reading.
Go read your cookbook
somewhere else, Jerry.
1394
01:08:59,734 --> 01:09:02,152
Step away
from the podium now!
1395
01:09:02,237 --> 01:09:03,237
[rhythmic music]
1396
01:09:03,321 --> 01:09:05,322
Make me.
1397
01:09:06,074 --> 01:09:07,115
He begins.
1398
01:09:07,200 --> 01:09:08,367
Agh!
1399
01:09:08,451 --> 01:09:10,494
[all gasp while Jerry
and Nick growl]
1400
01:09:15,333 --> 01:09:16,917
(Nick)
Get off!
1401
01:09:17,001 --> 01:09:19,878
(Thea)
Okay. Okay.
Stop it! That's enough.
1402
01:09:19,963 --> 01:09:23,131
That's enough.
Stop it. Get off of him.
1403
01:09:23,216 --> 01:09:26,760
How pathetic. You
have to have your
secretary defend you.
1404
01:09:26,845 --> 01:09:28,387
She's not a secretary.
1405
01:09:28,471 --> 01:09:31,515
Oh, really?
Then what is
she, other than shrill?
1406
01:09:31,599 --> 01:09:34,226
She's a fantastic editor.
1407
01:09:34,310 --> 01:09:38,188
[laughs mockingly]
Oh, that's rich.
An editor?
1408
01:09:38,273 --> 01:09:42,067
So I go away for a few
months, and the world's
lamest accountant
1409
01:09:42,193 --> 01:09:45,237
is running
my company with
the world's dumbest secretary.
1410
01:09:45,321 --> 01:09:47,656
(Jerry)
All I can say is,
1411
01:09:47,740 --> 01:09:50,158
I hope your kid
doesn't inherit your brains.
1412
01:09:50,243 --> 01:09:51,952
[shrieks]
1413
01:09:52,036 --> 01:09:53,245
[all gasp]
Oh!
1414
01:09:53,329 --> 01:09:55,080
(Suzie)
Be careful!
Be careful
1415
01:09:55,164 --> 01:09:56,415
Oh, God!
1416
01:09:57,208 --> 01:09:58,792
[plop]
1417
01:09:58,877 --> 01:10:00,210
[all gasp]
1418
01:10:00,295 --> 01:10:02,754
[all]
Oh.
1419
01:10:02,839 --> 01:10:05,632
(Ann)
What happened
to your stomach?
1420
01:10:12,599 --> 01:10:15,142
Oh, Nicky.
1421
01:10:15,226 --> 01:10:18,145
You always were such
a good judge of character.
1422
01:10:18,229 --> 01:10:21,481
Nick. I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
1423
01:10:21,566 --> 01:10:25,652
I never meant
for things to
go this far.
1424
01:10:25,737 --> 01:10:29,990
Jerry was gonna
fire me and I couldn't
afford to get fired.
1425
01:10:30,074 --> 01:10:33,785
And I thought the whole
thing would blow over
in a day or two.
1426
01:10:33,870 --> 01:10:36,330
Blow over
in a day or two?
1427
01:10:40,251 --> 01:10:42,669
What kind
of person pretends
to be pregnant?
1428
01:10:47,967 --> 01:10:50,218
Nick. I'm sorry. Just...
1429
01:10:50,303 --> 01:10:52,220
Please, just... Nick.
1430
01:10:55,183 --> 01:10:57,809
[cheerful music]
1431
01:11:10,239 --> 01:11:12,866
Hey, Nick, it's Thea, um
1432
01:11:12,951 --> 01:11:15,160
I'm kinda wondering
what you're up to.
1433
01:11:15,244 --> 01:11:18,705
Kinda of assuming
that what you're up
to is hating me.
1434
01:11:18,790 --> 01:11:21,792
Kinda feeling very
bad about that.
1435
01:11:21,876 --> 01:11:24,336
Anyway. Call me.
1436
01:11:27,006 --> 01:11:29,174
Hi, Nick.
Thea again.
1437
01:11:29,258 --> 01:11:33,595
I just wanna say
that I'm so so sorry.
1438
01:11:33,680 --> 01:11:36,223
(Claire on TV)
I was talking to
your mother about it.
1439
01:11:36,307 --> 01:11:38,600
She and I
are on the same
page on this thing.
1440
01:11:38,685 --> 01:11:42,854
I would rather say
extra virgin olive oil.
I don't wanna abbreviate it.
1441
01:11:42,939 --> 01:11:47,401
Hi, Nick, it's me. Uh.
1442
01:11:47,485 --> 01:11:50,404
I know you haven't
been interested in
picking up the phone
1443
01:11:50,530 --> 01:11:54,616
But I just wanted
to tell you how
much I really, really...
[tone]
1444
01:11:57,036 --> 01:11:58,829
[doorbell]
1445
01:12:06,254 --> 01:12:07,713
(Thea)
Hi.
1446
01:12:07,797 --> 01:12:09,840
(Lisa)
Hi!
1447
01:12:11,426 --> 01:12:12,843
Wow!
1448
01:12:15,555 --> 01:12:17,431
So...
1449
01:12:17,515 --> 01:12:20,475
what have
you been up to?
1450
01:12:20,560 --> 01:12:24,146
Watching the Vista
on an endless loop.
1451
01:12:24,230 --> 01:12:26,023
It's self-inflicted torture.
1452
01:12:26,107 --> 01:12:27,691
That sounds healthy.
1453
01:12:27,775 --> 01:12:30,610
Well, it smells
like something
died in here.
1454
01:12:30,695 --> 01:12:32,195
It did.
1455
01:12:32,280 --> 01:12:34,364
My soul.
1456
01:12:34,449 --> 01:12:37,034
Thea. You've gotta give
yourself a tiny break.
1457
01:12:37,118 --> 01:12:38,326
People make mistakes.
1458
01:12:38,411 --> 01:12:39,828
I majorly screwed up.
1459
01:12:39,912 --> 01:12:41,997
Well, look on
the bright side.
1460
01:12:42,081 --> 01:12:44,207
They're still talking
about it at work.
1461
01:12:44,292 --> 01:12:45,417
How's Nick doing?
1462
01:12:45,501 --> 01:12:47,919
I don't know.
He resigned.
1463
01:12:48,004 --> 01:12:49,671
What?
1464
01:12:49,756 --> 01:12:52,007
Did he say anything
about what he's gonna do?
1465
01:12:52,091 --> 01:12:55,427
If you're asking me if he
said he'd track you down
and propose to you
1466
01:12:55,511 --> 01:12:57,846
and spend the rest
of your lives together?
1467
01:12:57,930 --> 01:12:59,681
No. He wasn't specific.
1468
01:12:59,766 --> 01:13:02,517
I've been calling
him and calling him.
1469
01:13:02,602 --> 01:13:04,478
And he won't call me back.
1470
01:13:04,562 --> 01:13:06,646
Yeah, well maybe that
has something to do
1471
01:13:06,731 --> 01:13:10,484
with the massively twisted
lie you've told him for
the last few months.
1472
01:13:10,568 --> 01:13:12,486
Do you think
he'll ever forgive me?
1473
01:13:14,697 --> 01:13:17,991
Do you want me to be
honest or do you want me
to make you feel better?
1474
01:13:18,076 --> 01:13:20,368
How are Suzie's book sales?
1475
01:13:20,453 --> 01:13:22,245
Good.
1476
01:13:22,330 --> 01:13:26,208
You know, uh, there's
still a few boxes
1477
01:13:26,292 --> 01:13:28,585
that we need to
distribute here and there.
1478
01:13:28,669 --> 01:13:29,920
Oh, no.
1479
01:13:41,933 --> 01:13:43,183
Sorry.
1480
01:13:43,267 --> 01:13:44,976
Hey.
1481
01:13:45,061 --> 01:13:46,269
Hey.
1482
01:13:46,354 --> 01:13:47,646
Mind if I join you?
1483
01:13:49,232 --> 01:13:50,732
It's a free country.
1484
01:14:02,703 --> 01:14:04,704
Hm. What's
in this? Mint?
1485
01:14:04,789 --> 01:14:06,331
Yup.
1486
01:14:06,415 --> 01:14:08,834
It's perfect
with the pear.
1487
01:14:08,918 --> 01:14:10,710
It's so unexpected.
1488
01:14:10,795 --> 01:14:14,464
That was actually, um,
my idea. I kind of just
thought it would work.
1489
01:14:16,175 --> 01:14:17,884
Dad would
have loved it.
1490
01:14:17,969 --> 01:14:20,554
Mom would have
thought it was too fussy.
1491
01:14:20,680 --> 01:14:25,267
But she would have
polished off the leftovers
after everyone went to bed.
1492
01:14:30,481 --> 01:14:33,400
I'm a big fat liar
and I'm sorry you
got stuck with me.
1493
01:14:35,528 --> 01:14:38,238
Listen, Em.
We're gonna make
this work. Okay?
1494
01:14:38,322 --> 01:14:42,242
I made an appointment
with the Culinary Institute
to talk about student loans.
1495
01:14:42,326 --> 01:14:45,871
And I talked
to Ms. Talbot
about scholarships.
1496
01:14:45,997 --> 01:14:49,249
You know,
Mom and Dad would
have been so proud of you.
1497
01:14:49,333 --> 01:14:50,917
Thanks.
1498
01:14:51,002 --> 01:14:53,336
[cheerful music]
1499
01:15:02,638 --> 01:15:04,347
It needs, um...
1500
01:15:05,766 --> 01:15:07,267
I think
ten more minutes.
1501
01:15:07,351 --> 01:15:08,852
I don't have
ten more minutes.
1502
01:15:08,936 --> 01:15:10,687
But it's gonna
be all gooey inside.
1503
01:15:10,771 --> 01:15:12,522
I'll just have
to take my chances.
1504
01:15:12,607 --> 01:15:15,775
(man)
Here she comes. Here
comes Claire, everybody.
1505
01:15:15,860 --> 01:15:18,069
[crowd cheers]
(woman)
I love you.
1506
01:15:18,154 --> 01:15:20,322
I haven't missed
a show in five years.
1507
01:15:20,406 --> 01:15:22,365
Thank you. But you
should get out more.
1508
01:15:22,450 --> 01:15:23,617
I'm kidding.
1509
01:15:23,701 --> 01:15:25,535
I'm Thea Clayhill,
your biggest fan.
1510
01:15:25,620 --> 01:15:28,371
I made you
a pineapple cake. It's
your favorite, right?
1511
01:15:28,456 --> 01:15:30,540
Yes. Good
reconnaissance.
Good for you.
1512
01:15:30,625 --> 01:15:33,960
How did you know
about the cake?
1513
01:15:34,045 --> 01:15:36,630
Her May 15th show.
She said it in passing.
1514
01:15:39,675 --> 01:15:41,384
Hi. I have some
books for you.
1515
01:15:41,469 --> 01:15:43,637
Oh, great. Just leave
'em right over there.
1516
01:15:43,721 --> 01:15:46,014
Okay. Keep your womb open.
1517
01:15:46,098 --> 01:15:47,641
You've got it.
1518
01:15:47,725 --> 01:15:51,269
I actually would like
even more toppings
on my-- Hello.
1519
01:15:51,354 --> 01:15:54,648
Hey. Thea Clayhill,
your number one fan
with banana cream pie.
1520
01:15:54,732 --> 01:15:58,235
You do your homework.
I hope it's as delicious
as your pineapple cake.
1521
01:16:06,535 --> 01:16:07,911
[slams door]
1522
01:16:07,995 --> 01:16:10,163
You can
hit a few more
potholes next time.
1523
01:16:10,248 --> 01:16:11,498
(man)
Claire, I love you.
1524
01:16:11,582 --> 01:16:13,083
(Woman)
There she is. Claire.
1525
01:16:13,167 --> 01:16:15,502
There she is.
My number one
fan, Thea Clayhill.
1526
01:16:15,586 --> 01:16:17,504
Uh, pear ginger pie.
1527
01:16:17,588 --> 01:16:19,673
Nicely done,
Betty Crocker.
1528
01:16:19,757 --> 01:16:21,967
It's actually not me,
it's my little sister.
1529
01:16:22,051 --> 01:16:24,135
what's your angle
besides making me a pig?
1530
01:16:24,220 --> 01:16:26,012
Wanna get your
little sister on TV?
1531
01:16:26,097 --> 01:16:29,516
I really want to get
this book on TV. It's
really special.
1532
01:16:29,600 --> 01:16:32,727
Okay. Thank you.
1533
01:16:32,812 --> 01:16:34,187
Thanks.
1534
01:16:35,773 --> 01:16:36,940
(Lisa)
Good luck.
1535
01:16:48,411 --> 01:16:49,869
Hi.
1536
01:16:49,954 --> 01:16:51,705
Hi.
1537
01:16:54,417 --> 01:16:57,127
I bet I'm the last
person you wanted
to see right now.
1538
01:16:57,211 --> 01:17:00,588
[sighs] Well, maybe
not the last person.
1539
01:17:00,673 --> 01:17:03,216
Maybe the second
or third to last person.
1540
01:17:03,342 --> 01:17:07,470
I wouldn't want to see my
6th grade English teacher,
Ms. Posey. She was awful.
1541
01:17:07,555 --> 01:17:10,682
Or my college boyfriend.
He dumped me on an
answering machine.
1542
01:17:10,766 --> 01:17:14,102
Listen, Suzie.
I'm really sorry,
1543
01:17:14,186 --> 01:17:17,355
I really wish I could
have been the person
you thought I was.
1544
01:17:17,440 --> 01:17:19,399
I just figured
if I told you the truth,
1545
01:17:19,483 --> 01:17:23,570
you wouldn't want me
in your life and I really
enjoyed being in yours.
1546
01:17:23,654 --> 01:17:26,656
I really enjoyed
being in your life, too,
1547
01:17:26,741 --> 01:17:28,742
for what it's worth.
1548
01:17:28,826 --> 01:17:31,119
Well, I've got some
really good news.
1549
01:17:31,203 --> 01:17:32,370
We're gonna...
1550
01:17:32,455 --> 01:17:33,621
Ow!
1551
01:17:33,706 --> 01:17:35,373
Oh, my God,
are you okay?
1552
01:17:35,458 --> 01:17:37,459
[yelling, panting]
The baby's coming.
1553
01:17:37,543 --> 01:17:38,626
Right now?
1554
01:17:38,711 --> 01:17:40,337
My water broke
this morning.
1555
01:17:40,421 --> 01:17:42,630
My contractions
started an hour ago. Ow!
1556
01:17:42,715 --> 01:17:44,090
Where is everyone?
1557
01:17:44,175 --> 01:17:46,885
[panting]
Jesse's on his way.
1558
01:17:47,011 --> 01:17:52,015
What should I do? Hot water?
Towels? Let's just get in the
car and go to the hospital.
1559
01:17:52,099 --> 01:17:55,393
A lot of people can
help us there. I can't
really do much here.
1560
01:17:55,478 --> 01:17:57,562
No, no, no.
I'm fine. I'm fine.
1561
01:17:57,646 --> 01:17:59,314
My contraction ended.
1562
01:17:59,398 --> 01:18:01,316
It'll be hours before
I have this baby.
1563
01:18:01,400 --> 01:18:02,817
It's already
that painful?
1564
01:18:02,902 --> 01:18:05,278
[sighs]
You ain't seen
nothin' yet.
1565
01:18:05,363 --> 01:18:08,531
It's gonna get
a whole lot worse before
we turn this mother out.
1566
01:18:08,616 --> 01:18:10,617
What were you saying?
1567
01:18:10,701 --> 01:18:12,452
Oh, um, the Vista
wants you.
1568
01:18:12,536 --> 01:18:14,079
[both scream]
1569
01:18:14,163 --> 01:18:15,622
Are you sure
this is normal?
1570
01:18:15,706 --> 01:18:19,667
Yes, it's fine.
The Vista? That's
amazing. When?
1571
01:18:19,752 --> 01:18:22,045
In two hours.
They had a cancellation.
1572
01:18:22,129 --> 01:18:24,672
Yeah. That's not
gonna work for me.
1573
01:18:24,757 --> 01:18:27,717
[both breathe]
1574
01:18:27,802 --> 01:18:30,595
Hurry! We're
gonna be late!
1575
01:18:30,679 --> 01:18:33,973
[cheerful music]
1576
01:18:35,226 --> 01:18:36,976
Hello.
1577
01:18:43,234 --> 01:18:44,651
Hi.
1578
01:18:44,735 --> 01:18:46,361
[baby cries]
1579
01:18:46,445 --> 01:18:49,072
(Lisa)
I think I'm sitting on
something. Like this.
1580
01:18:49,198 --> 01:18:53,118
[babies cry]
Hey, Em, it's me.
I desperately need a favor.
1581
01:18:53,202 --> 01:18:55,870
Here you go.
Don't cry.
1582
01:19:02,086 --> 01:19:03,753
[knocks]
1583
01:19:06,298 --> 01:19:07,340
Emma.
1584
01:19:07,425 --> 01:19:08,508
Hi, Nick.
1585
01:19:08,592 --> 01:19:09,843
What are
you doing here?
1586
01:19:09,927 --> 01:19:11,469
I have to take
you somewhere.
1587
01:19:11,554 --> 01:19:13,179
Excuse me?
1588
01:19:13,264 --> 01:19:15,390
[sighs]
Please, don't
make me explain.
1589
01:19:15,474 --> 01:19:18,017
So if you just
get your keys.
We really have to go.
1590
01:19:18,102 --> 01:19:19,227
Emma.
1591
01:19:19,311 --> 01:19:20,687
Come on!
1592
01:19:20,771 --> 01:19:23,731
(Claire)
You're pulling our
legs. Collectively.
1593
01:19:23,816 --> 01:19:27,152
We absolutely have
to begin in 3 minutes.
Your guy better get here.
1594
01:19:27,236 --> 01:19:28,736
I promise
he'll be here.
1595
01:19:28,821 --> 01:19:31,239
He'll be here.
It's gonna be great.
1596
01:19:31,323 --> 01:19:33,450
I don't know what's
keeping him so long.
1597
01:19:33,534 --> 01:19:35,910
It'd be really fun
to have you back again.
1598
01:19:35,995 --> 01:19:38,830
(Claire)
When we come back,
"I'm So Over This,
1599
01:19:38,914 --> 01:19:41,749
What It's Really Like
to Be Pregnant."
So stick around.
1600
01:19:41,834 --> 01:19:43,001
[clapping]
1601
01:19:43,085 --> 01:19:44,878
I need four asses
in those seats now.
1602
01:19:44,962 --> 01:19:46,796
Oh, my God, Lisa.
What are we gonna do?
1603
01:19:46,881 --> 01:19:47,964
You're gonna go.
1604
01:19:48,048 --> 01:19:49,132
What?
1605
01:19:49,216 --> 01:19:50,341
I don't wanna go.
1606
01:19:52,261 --> 01:19:54,721
(Claire)
How are you?
Thank you. Loved the book.
1607
01:19:54,805 --> 01:19:58,892
Come on in. Hello,
little baby. Come on up.
1608
01:19:58,976 --> 01:20:00,268
Hi. Hello.
1609
01:20:00,352 --> 01:20:03,897
(Claire)
Wow, Laura.
What an amazing story.
1610
01:20:03,981 --> 01:20:07,150
I cannot believe that
beautiful baby was
born at the DMV.
1611
01:20:07,234 --> 01:20:10,153
So Thea,
any kids?
1612
01:20:10,237 --> 01:20:12,238
No, never
been pregnant.
1613
01:20:12,323 --> 01:20:15,533
So why another pregnancy
book? Isn’t the market
a bit flooded?
1614
01:20:15,618 --> 01:20:17,535
(Thea)
Well, this
one's different.
1615
01:20:17,620 --> 01:20:21,706
It's not a how-to
book or a bunch of
rules and recipes.
1616
01:20:21,790 --> 01:20:25,251
These stories
are ultimately about
the birth of a new love.
1617
01:20:25,336 --> 01:20:26,503
(Emma)
We're late.
1618
01:20:26,587 --> 01:20:28,505
I can't believe she
booked with Vista.
1619
01:20:28,589 --> 01:20:31,090
It can be messy
but in the end
you're much stronger
1620
01:20:31,175 --> 01:20:32,717
for having
gone through it.
1621
01:20:32,843 --> 01:20:36,095
(Thea)
Even if you did
something you may regret.
1622
01:20:36,180 --> 01:20:39,390
And to be honest,
I was just helping out.
1623
01:20:39,475 --> 01:20:43,770
You know, I shouldn't
even really be sitting up
here. It was Nick Steinwald
1624
01:20:43,854 --> 01:20:45,980
who's sitting in
the audience right now.
1625
01:20:46,065 --> 01:20:47,982
He's responsible
for the whole thing.
1626
01:20:48,067 --> 01:20:51,778
He believed in the book
from the beginning and...
1627
01:20:51,862 --> 01:20:53,780
believed in me.
1628
01:20:53,864 --> 01:20:57,075
and I really can't thank
him enough for that.
1629
01:21:02,331 --> 01:21:04,123
[clapping]
Stand up!
1630
01:21:04,208 --> 01:21:06,543
(Claire)
Get him a mike.
1631
01:21:09,547 --> 01:21:13,132
She sings your praises.
What is about the book
that appealed to you?
1632
01:21:13,217 --> 01:21:16,761
Um, well, uh...
1633
01:21:16,887 --> 01:21:20,640
I thought Suzie's book
had a fresh and funny
perspective on pregnancy.
1634
01:21:20,724 --> 01:21:22,725
Thea was right when
she said it was a book
1635
01:21:22,810 --> 01:21:25,061
about how love can
see you through anything.
1636
01:21:27,856 --> 01:21:29,524
And how...
1637
01:21:29,608 --> 01:21:32,151
if you love someone,
1638
01:21:32,236 --> 01:21:36,239
you can forgive
them for all of the...
1639
01:21:36,323 --> 01:21:39,576
crazy and idiotic
things they do.
1640
01:21:39,660 --> 01:21:42,704
Because love
is a leap of faith.
1641
01:21:42,788 --> 01:21:45,415
And...
1642
01:21:45,499 --> 01:21:48,293
sometimes you just
have to jump.
1643
01:21:48,377 --> 01:21:50,753
Don't you?
1644
01:21:53,257 --> 01:21:56,509
Wow. Okay. I'm gonna
jump in here for a second
1645
01:21:56,594 --> 01:22:00,847
and, uh, thank you both
so much. Again, the book
is "I'm So Over This,
1646
01:22:00,931 --> 01:22:03,224
What It's Really
Like to Be Pregnant."
1647
01:22:03,309 --> 01:22:05,727
There's a link on
our website, TheVista.com
1648
01:22:05,811 --> 01:22:08,855
One last thing, Nick.
Do you know how
cute you are?
1649
01:22:08,939 --> 01:22:10,273
Uh, no.
[all laugh]
1650
01:22:10,357 --> 01:22:12,275
(Claire)
No, he
doesn't, does he?
1651
01:22:12,359 --> 01:22:15,612
[laughs]
Okay, thank
you very much.
[applause]
1652
01:22:35,299 --> 01:22:37,383
(Claire)
Hey. Guess what?
1653
01:22:37,468 --> 01:22:39,927
The producer
said there's been
over 100,000 hits
1654
01:22:40,012 --> 01:22:43,222
on the show's link
to your book. Yeah.
1655
01:22:43,307 --> 01:22:44,307
That's fantastic.
1656
01:22:44,391 --> 01:22:45,558
Thanks, Claire.
1657
01:22:45,643 --> 01:22:47,018
(Claire)
Thank you.
1658
01:22:48,646 --> 01:22:50,313
Hey.
1659
01:22:51,690 --> 01:22:53,232
Thank you.
1660
01:22:53,317 --> 01:22:55,234
It's the least
I could do.
1661
01:22:55,319 --> 01:22:58,780
I meant what I said
about I can't thank
you enough,
1662
01:22:58,864 --> 01:23:01,741
you know, now
that it's all over.
1663
01:23:01,825 --> 01:23:02,992
What's over?
1664
01:23:04,286 --> 01:23:05,953
Working together,
1665
01:23:06,038 --> 01:23:09,540
being together, just
togetherness in general.
1666
01:23:09,625 --> 01:23:10,917
[soft guitar music]
1667
01:23:11,001 --> 01:23:12,794
It doesn't have to be.
1668
01:23:12,878 --> 01:23:15,755
We made a good
book together. We
can make another one.
1669
01:23:15,839 --> 01:23:17,799
Would you
wanna do that?
1670
01:23:17,883 --> 01:23:20,176
Yes. Yes, I would.
1671
01:23:42,408 --> 01:23:44,075
Still feel backed up?
1672
01:23:44,159 --> 01:23:45,618
Thanks, Greg.
1673
01:23:45,703 --> 01:23:47,286
(Nick)
Should it
freak me out
1674
01:23:47,371 --> 01:23:49,664
that he knows
more about your
bowels than I do?
1675
01:23:49,748 --> 01:23:51,374
Uh, maybe that's
a good thing.
1676
01:23:53,168 --> 01:23:55,753
If I've been timing
these right, and
I'm sure I have,
1677
01:23:55,838 --> 01:23:58,881
you're up in ten,
nine, eight, seven...
1678
01:23:58,966 --> 01:24:00,425
Ow!
1679
01:24:00,509 --> 01:24:02,301
(Jerry)
Yes! Just six
seconds off.
1680
01:24:02,386 --> 01:24:03,511
What I'd miss?
1681
01:24:03,595 --> 01:24:05,471
We're contracting
every half hour.
1682
01:24:05,556 --> 01:24:07,140
You okay?
1683
01:24:07,224 --> 01:24:09,726
(Garth)
we're gonna kick
this puppy out at 0900.
1684
01:24:09,810 --> 01:24:11,394
(Ann)
They should
head out now.
1685
01:24:11,478 --> 01:24:12,979
No one's
going anywhere
1686
01:24:13,063 --> 01:24:15,148
the doctor
said to wait
until every 15...
1687
01:24:15,232 --> 01:24:16,524
[screams]
1688
01:24:16,608 --> 01:24:18,359
Wait. You're way off.
1689
01:24:18,444 --> 01:24:20,319
That one was not good.
1690
01:24:20,404 --> 01:24:22,238
Jesus. She's
having a baby. Now!
1691
01:24:22,322 --> 01:24:23,614
(Thea)
What do you mean?
1692
01:24:23,699 --> 01:24:25,116
Okay. No, no, no.
1693
01:24:25,200 --> 01:24:26,951
What the hell
are we going to do?
1694
01:24:27,035 --> 01:24:28,327
Move! Move!
1695
01:24:28,412 --> 01:24:30,913
(Kristen)
My baby got ten
on the APGAR scores
1696
01:24:30,998 --> 01:24:33,207
your baby's maybe
like a seven or a eight.
1697
01:24:33,292 --> 01:24:35,668
(Carl)
If it's a boy, feel
free to name him Carl.
1698
01:24:35,753 --> 01:24:37,462
I forgot. Okay.
1699
01:24:37,546 --> 01:24:39,172
(Kristen)
Get the epidural.
1700
01:24:39,256 --> 01:24:41,132
(Jerry)
Don't screw this up.
1701
01:24:41,216 --> 01:24:42,675
Are you ready?
1702
01:24:42,760 --> 01:24:44,010
Let's hope.
1703
01:24:44,094 --> 01:24:45,678
I Love you.
1704
01:24:45,763 --> 01:24:47,597
(Thea)
I love you, too.
It's your fault.
1705
01:24:47,681 --> 01:24:49,015
Semper Fi.
1706
01:24:49,099 --> 01:24:51,100
(Kristen)
Push! [laughs]
Oh, not yet.
1706
01:24:51,100 --> 01:24:56,100
Subtitle source: Labor.Pains.2009.720p.BluRay.x264-CiNEFiLE
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