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1
00:00:07,360 --> 00:00:12,040
[crowd cheers and whistles]
2
00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:21,160
[hip hop music plays]
3
00:00:21,240 --> 00:00:22,400
[door opens]
4
00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:24,120
-[crowd cheers]
-[Shep] Great set, guys.
5
00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:25,720
Whoo! What a show!
6
00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:30,320
Yeah, yeah, you lads...
7
00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:32,760
You lads go on without me.
I'll see you on the bus.
8
00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:35,400
[Katherine] Hey.
9
00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:40,840
Are you who I think you are?
10
00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:42,920
Shepherd Knight, yeah.
11
00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:45,160
Tru-Sé lead singer.
12
00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:47,400
Aftershave ambassador.
13
00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:49,120
Star.
14
00:00:50,440 --> 00:00:51,640
Your security's pretty tight.
15
00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:55,720
My abs are pretty tight, too.
I've been doing a lot of core work.
16
00:00:56,240 --> 00:00:58,160
-I'll be frank.
-I'll be Shep Knight.
17
00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:00,760
I came out here to suck your dick.
18
00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:04,200
Fine by me.
As long as you suck it with your pussy.
19
00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:06,800
First, sign my tits.
20
00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:08,880
♪ Bend over, girl
Show me what you workin' with ♪
21
00:01:08,960 --> 00:01:11,320
♪ Shake ya ass
Watch yourself ♪
22
00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:13,760
♪ Shake ya ass
Show me what you workin' with ♪
23
00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:16,880
♪ Attention all y'all players and pimps
Right now... ♪
24
00:01:16,960 --> 00:01:18,200
[he exhales slowly]
25
00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:20,240
Cool.
26
00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:22,320
[she sighs]
27
00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:26,080
[music continues]
28
00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:28,560
[gags] Oh, my God, I'm gonna throw up.
29
00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:31,000
No, you didn't puke
until after we had sex.
30
00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:34,160
-Not then, now. Just carry on.
-I've a new rule against shagging women
31
00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:35,800
-when they're puking.
-Oh, God.
32
00:01:35,880 --> 00:01:38,240
I just need to drink more
and not look directly at you.
33
00:01:38,320 --> 00:01:39,960
-[Shep] Here.
-[she groans]
34
00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:41,840
God, you were so much more fun
as a groupie.
35
00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:47,080
Uh, look, I'm not gonna actually be able
to kiss you anywhere near your face.
36
00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:51,080
Excellent. Then don't touch me
anywhere physically with your hands.
37
00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:54,680
-Okay. I'm gonna get back into character.
-[he sighs]
38
00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:57,040
Whoo! Come on.
39
00:01:57,120 --> 00:01:59,280
-[Shep grunts and yells]
-[Katherine groans]
40
00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:02,800
[exhales sharply]
41
00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:05,000
[sighs]
42
00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:06,680
[breathes deeply]
43
00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:09,040
So what brings you to London?
44
00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:11,560
Well, my roommate and I
are big Tru-Sé fans.
45
00:02:11,640 --> 00:02:13,120
We had tickets to your Toronto show,
46
00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:16,120
but then when Gareth got electrocuted
and you sadly canceled,
47
00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:17,280
we booked a flight.
48
00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:18,920
Lucky me.
49
00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:23,040
I cannot believe you said, "Lucky me,"
when your bandmate got third-degree burns.
50
00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:24,320
That should've been a red flag.
51
00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:26,280
If you're not gonna play along,
what's the point?
52
00:02:26,360 --> 00:02:29,360
-Stick to what happened. We had a deal.
-All right then, stop talking.
53
00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:32,560
Let's get this over with, because if we
back out, we'll have to do it all again.
54
00:02:32,640 --> 00:02:34,560
Just say nothing and get your dick out.
55
00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:36,400
[sighs]
56
00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:38,120
[fly unzips]
57
00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:40,160
[sighs]
58
00:02:40,640 --> 00:02:42,920
-I'm not hard.
-Why not? I wore the outfit.
59
00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:45,160
Maybe 'cause you're gross
and you keep being yourself?
60
00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:47,560
All right, I won't insult you again.
61
00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:51,200
Plan. Think of things you like.
62
00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:54,240
-Brexit, guns, bacon.
-[moans happily]
63
00:02:54,320 --> 00:02:56,320
-And then I will just...
-[spray hisses]
64
00:02:56,400 --> 00:03:01,600
...back up into your disgusting penis
that I predicted would be broken.
65
00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:03,320
[he gags and retches]
66
00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:05,640
You're not even trying to turn me on.
67
00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:09,720
I'm trying to override
my body's natural response to your cock,
68
00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:12,280
-which is to sandpaper it off.
-Just don't talk.
69
00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:15,040
-Then you don't talk.
-[Shep sighs]
70
00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:16,080
Be a man!
71
00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:20,760
Oh! Jesus Christ.
72
00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:25,080
[Katherine sighs] We're doing this
for Olive. For Olive--
73
00:03:25,160 --> 00:03:28,120
Yeah, visualizing my daughter isn't
helping. Mention someone else's daughter.
74
00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:29,600
-What?
-Don't look at me.
75
00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:31,360
-[he exclaims]
-[she sighs]
76
00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:34,200
-[he groans]
-[she whimpers]
77
00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:37,120
Come on, Katherine, it's only
for a minute. You've done it before.
78
00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:38,200
[she whimpers]
79
00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:40,200
It'll be like reversing onto a tampon.
80
00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:41,960
-Oh!
-[Katherine] Ew. Is it in?
81
00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:43,240
-[door opens]
-[they gasp]
82
00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:46,720
Oi! Go shag somewhere else, yeah?
83
00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:49,240
Sir, how dare you?
That's not what we were doing.
84
00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:50,560
Yeah, all right, darlin'.
85
00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:53,600
Where is your manager?
I'm a respectable businesswoman.
86
00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:55,760
Listen, take your business down the road.
87
00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:57,480
Sorry, mate, she's obviously a prostitute.
88
00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:01,440
-Yo... Didn't you used to be Shep Knight?
-[crowd cheers inside]
89
00:04:01,520 --> 00:04:03,080
Still am, brother!
90
00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:04,880
[laughs heartily]
91
00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:06,480
Ay, that is jokes!
92
00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:07,640
Hey, you want a picture?
93
00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:09,400
Nah, man, I'm good.
94
00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:11,640
But seriously,
don't fuck back here, innit.
95
00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:12,600
[door slams]
96
00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:20,520
[Shep sighs]
97
00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:33,000
[Katherine sighs]
98
00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:35,080
Look, I don't wanna kick you
while you're down,
99
00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:36,920
but you weren't actually the lead singer,
100
00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:39,520
because there's no lead singer
in a boy band.
101
00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:45,080
Even the strongest man alive
couldn't fuck you.
102
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:48,480
But at least he tried.
103
00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:52,240
I'll give you
my fertility clinic's number.
104
00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:53,880
No! No doctors.
105
00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:59,720
-[groans] It just isn't meant to be.
-Shep, we had a deal.
106
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:02,240
-[door opens]
-[man sighs] I said you gotta leave.
107
00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:05,200
You can stay and watch, phone the police
or mind your own fucking business,
108
00:05:05,280 --> 00:05:06,320
but I tell you, bruv,
109
00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:09,320
only one of those options
won't result in you getting banged up.
110
00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:12,280
Mate, you need to get your prozzy in line.
111
00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:15,400
It's "sex worker," young man.
112
00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:16,640
You're gonna get me killed.
113
00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:18,680
I will kill you myself
if you back out of this now.
114
00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:21,760
Do you have any idea how hard it is for
a single mother to set aside free time,
115
00:05:21,840 --> 00:05:23,000
only to see it wasted?
116
00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:25,360
[sighs] There must be some way. Here...
117
00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:26,480
cum into my hands.
118
00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:27,960
You joking me?
119
00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:29,640
What? Cum into my hands,
120
00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:32,440
I'll catch at least most of it,
then we don't have to touch each other.
121
00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:34,880
-Okay. I'll cum into your hands.
-It'll be like milking a cow,
122
00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:36,320
-without touching it.
-[Shep groans]
123
00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:40,040
-[Katherine] I'll just catch one drip--
-Just keep that shut.
124
00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:41,840
Just.... cum into my hands.
125
00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:43,880
I'm gonna cum in your hands.
Give me two seconds.
126
00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:46,920
-I'm in a squat, so if you can hurry up--
-It's cold, hang on.
127
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:49,440
-[Katherine] Cum into my hands.
-Okay, I'll cum into your hands!
128
00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:54,000
[man] What? What you saying now, when the
mandem's here? Where you going, blud?
129
00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:57,200
-Out of the fucking way!
-Hey!
130
00:05:57,280 --> 00:05:58,120
[Shep] ...Sake.
131
00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:00,480
[Katherine] Don't hurt me,
I was being assaulted!
132
00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:06,280
[hip hop music plays]
133
00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:14,640
[gentle electronic music plays]
134
00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:16,760
♪ Never meant to be you... ♪
135
00:06:16,840 --> 00:06:19,080
-[dogs bark]
-[quietly] Shh!
136
00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:21,360
-Shh, shh.
-[barking continues]
137
00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:22,280
[Evan] Hey!
138
00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:23,920
[Katherine] Just a minute!
139
00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:25,360
♪ Never meant for all of this ♪
140
00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:26,800
♪ Never meant for you to love ♪
141
00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:29,040
♪ Never meant for you to trust ♪
142
00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:34,480
♪ So I'll take my time next time ♪
143
00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:38,440
♪ And I'll do it right ♪
144
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:46,040
♪ Only with grace
I'll take all the words that you said ♪
145
00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:54,000
♪ When you brought it back from the... ♪
146
00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:55,640
[sighs]
147
00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:01,640
♪ Ground ♪
148
00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:04,720
Hi.
149
00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:07,120
-Hey.
-You're a sight for sore eyes.
150
00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:09,840
I paid the babysitter.
How was the exhibition?
151
00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:13,840
Oh, it was trash.
You would not have liked it.
152
00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:16,800
[sighs] I really wish I was here with you.
153
00:07:16,880 --> 00:07:19,240
Ah, you're very sweet
when you hate art shows.
154
00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:22,920
No, I mean it. It's really easy
having you here. Suspiciously easy.
155
00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:26,480
Yeah, this is probably a bad time
to tell you about my secret family.
156
00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:28,080
Oh, yep, there had to be something.
157
00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:29,880
Won't your wife come looking for you soon?
158
00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:33,920
Wives. Plural. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I have to do Valentine's Day in shifts.
159
00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:35,680
But they're at church tonight,
don't worry.
160
00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:37,040
-That's a relief.
-Hmm.
161
00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:39,480
My genuine family are in town.
162
00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:41,400
Let's have dinner with my parents.
163
00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:42,960
For over a year,
I've been telling them
164
00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:45,360
about my Canadian girlfriend.
It just sounds really made up.
165
00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:47,480
Yeah, it does. [laughs]
166
00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:48,400
So you'll come?
167
00:07:50,880 --> 00:07:52,600
-Yeah.
-Really?
168
00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:54,360
-But just to prove I exist.
-Oh.
169
00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:56,120
And because you're so adorable.
170
00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:58,480
Your parents are really nice and normal,
right?
171
00:07:58,560 --> 00:07:59,920
-Yeah, definitely normal.
-Oh, good.
172
00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:08,000
Of course, as soon as you hear the phrase
"single mother,"
173
00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:09,720
you automatically fear the worst.
174
00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:12,880
-DNA tests, lie detectors...
-Dad.
175
00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:14,560
When you hear "single father," you think,
176
00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:16,840
"He killed his wife
and made it look like an accident."
177
00:08:16,920 --> 00:08:18,040
[laughter]
178
00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:20,720
We were certainly wrong about you, dear.
179
00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:23,520
Excuse me. What are the sheep's names?
180
00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:27,280
Well, there's, um, Whiskey and Beer.
181
00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:30,720
Uh... Oh, we haven't named all of them.
Just our favorites.
182
00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:34,800
Oh, you'll have to come and visit soon,
with Mummy and Dr. Evan.
183
00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:36,400
Give them all proper names.
184
00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:41,400
Mum, until recently I was just Olive's
dentist, but we're taking things slow.
185
00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:43,280
And now he sleeps in my bed.
186
00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:45,640
-Oh, that's very inappropriate, darling.
-Oh, no, no, no.
187
00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:47,680
Evan stays in her room
and Olive sleeps with me.
188
00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:49,600
[Mum] Oh, good for you, pet. Aw.
189
00:08:49,680 --> 00:08:54,320
Dr. Evan slept with me until he was 12.
Isn't that right, my sweet baby boy?
190
00:08:54,680 --> 00:08:56,240
-[Mum] Mmm. [laughs]
-[Dad] And that...
191
00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:58,920
is why Evan has no siblings.
192
00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:00,000
[Mum] Oh, hush.
193
00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:02,000
He's always making that joke!
194
00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:04,720
-Obviously, a house has other rooms.
-Oh, Mum!
195
00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:08,320
No, I'm not gonna apologize
for getting at it when I could.
196
00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:09,800
Even outside on your trampoline.
197
00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:10,720
[Evan groans]
198
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,480
-Good for you!
-We still pop out sometimes
199
00:09:12,560 --> 00:09:14,480
-for a bit of bouncy-bouncy.
-[laughter]
200
00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:17,400
I mean, children are not your entire life.
201
00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:19,360
They come into it, then they go out.
202
00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:20,880
Your mother is quite right.
203
00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:22,320
We've always put each other first
204
00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:25,320
and that is the key to our success
and happiness, even now.
205
00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:29,600
[Katherine] Well, those three got on
like a house on fire.
206
00:09:29,680 --> 00:09:31,560
My parents hardly even call her.
207
00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:33,000
My mum calls every day.
208
00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:34,520
[laughs] Yeah.
209
00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:37,440
-Go on.
-[she laughs]
210
00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:39,520
I know you wanna mention
her kissing me on the mouth.
211
00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:41,240
[laughs] Oh? Did she?
212
00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:45,040
The entire restaurant hardly noticed that,
or when she cut your food up
213
00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:47,040
or when she asked
if you wanted to come for a wee.
214
00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:49,320
-She just meant for company on the walk.
-[laughs]
215
00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:50,680
Does she hold it for you?
216
00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:52,640
She's a bit much.
217
00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:54,080
Oh, she's amazing.
218
00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:57,160
The restaurant were definitely taking bets
on the nature of your relationship.
219
00:09:57,240 --> 00:09:59,480
And she calls you Dr. Evan.
220
00:09:59,560 --> 00:10:00,960
You don't mind all that stuff?
221
00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:03,040
Oh, it's super fucking weird. I love it.
222
00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:05,040
And they didn't even hate me!
223
00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:06,640
Hey, they loved you.
224
00:10:06,720 --> 00:10:07,800
Like I love you.
225
00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:10,400
I love you, too. It's a disaster.
226
00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:14,560
You know, once, she, uh,
she made us matching sailor suits.
227
00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:15,840
What a woman.
228
00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:18,720
Hey, that's one thing I love about you.
You don't smother me.
229
00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:20,320
No, I certainly do not.
230
00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:23,320
Mummy, Dr. Evan, hurry,
come look at the posh car!
231
00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:24,240
Okay.
232
00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:29,560
[Mum] Hurry up, sweetie.
233
00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:33,000
Come on, Dr. Evan! Your mum will want
to strap you in your booster seat.
234
00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:35,080
[Evan, quietly] Not now. Hey!
235
00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:37,480
-[Katherine] Wow.
-[Evan] Nice car, eh?
236
00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:40,840
[Bev] I know you're knackered.
237
00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:42,400
I know. I'm tired too, Tom.
238
00:10:42,480 --> 00:10:45,080
-[doorbell rings]
-All right, the door's going.
239
00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:49,200
Hi, my love. How are you feeling?
240
00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:50,840
Ah, I'm perfectly fine, darlin'.
241
00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:54,040
Turns out a blood clot can strike
out of the blue, anytime, anywhere,
242
00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:55,280
even at my young age.
243
00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:56,480
Terrifying.
244
00:10:56,880 --> 00:11:01,520
Maybe you and Katherine
join my Pilates group, keep it all moving.
245
00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:03,200
Oh, that's kind, but we already swim.
246
00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:04,960
Oh, where do you do that?
247
00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:06,120
We do it together.
248
00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:07,720
Oh, that sounds like fun.
249
00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:10,000
Um, well, let's do something else
this week, shall we?
250
00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:12,040
I'd love to,
but we're really up against it.
251
00:11:12,120 --> 00:11:13,560
We're behind on prep for a big event.
252
00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:15,320
Event? I love events.
253
00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:19,000
Head girl, prom committee,
Celebrate Sobriety Convention chair.
254
00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:19,960
What needs doing?
255
00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:21,440
I mean, have you got a car?
256
00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:23,360
I've got two cars. And a van.
257
00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:26,960
Okay. Uh, why don't you help me
take some of the heavier shit
258
00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:28,080
down to the venue?
259
00:11:28,160 --> 00:11:29,920
It's a body positivity thing,
260
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:31,680
so it's a big opportunity
for the business.
261
00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:34,200
Great. Take my number,
my phone is always on,
262
00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:37,480
and I will rearrange some stuff
and see if I can join you for swimming!
263
00:11:37,560 --> 00:11:41,040
Okay, I've got to get back to work, Jane,
but we'll see you there, babe, all right?
264
00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:43,200
-Okay, bye.
-Do you swim locally?
265
00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:45,080
[chuckles] Hmm.
266
00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:46,480
[sighs]
267
00:11:46,560 --> 00:11:47,880
♪ I keep it juicy, juicy ♪
268
00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:49,000
♪ I eat that lunch ♪
269
00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:50,440
♪ She keep that booty, booty ♪
270
00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:52,120
♪ She keep that plump, yeah ♪
271
00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:53,720
♪ That natural beauty, beauty ♪
272
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:55,080
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
273
00:11:55,680 --> 00:11:58,960
♪ If you could see it from the front
Wait 'til you see it from the back... ♪
274
00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:04,160
Ladies, welcome to Ardour Live
body positivity headline talk.
275
00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:07,640
-Now I trust--
-[quietly] These bloody incisions.
276
00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:09,800
Should you even be
out of your compression suit?
277
00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:13,080
Don't be silly. I've had fat grafting,
what, half a dozen times?
278
00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:15,320
Wouldn't hurt to keep the bandages on
an extra few days.
279
00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:18,560
Listen, you need to stay in your lane,
all right? Let me sort out our branding.
280
00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:22,640
Trust me, we want to be at the forefront
of this body positivity movement.
281
00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:25,600
Well, I'm positive you just had
the forefront of your body sucked out
282
00:12:25,680 --> 00:12:26,920
and stuck back in your ass.
283
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:28,080
Do you love it, though?
284
00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:32,320
I mean, yeah, totally worth
the death scare. It looks so good.
285
00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:36,000
It is my pleasure to introduce to you,
speaking candidly for the first time,
286
00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:39,720
body-positive potters, Kiln 'Em Softly.
287
00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:41,840
[applause and cheers]
288
00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:45,000
-Thank you.
-[Bev] Thank you.
289
00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:49,800
And in the celebrity world,
there is constant body shaming,
290
00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:53,640
and that's what motivated me to celebrate
all representations of the female form.
291
00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:55,800
You both have come so far,
292
00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:58,680
-from WAGs to feminists.
-[audience chuckles]
293
00:12:58,760 --> 00:12:59,720
Tell us about that.
294
00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:01,520
We were always feminists.
295
00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:04,720
You can be both a feminist
and be dating a member of a boy band.
296
00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:06,200
[laughter]
297
00:13:06,280 --> 00:13:09,400
Aw, that was taken right after we both
found out we were pregnant, remember?
298
00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:13,600
Oh, yeah. So Bev and I did meet because
our partners were in a group together
299
00:13:13,680 --> 00:13:15,080
and we were really like-minded.
300
00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:16,800
Yeah, straight away, we were like sisters.
301
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:18,800
Right. So, Katherine...
302
00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:21,000
while Bev had her "proper family,"
303
00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:23,200
you were unable
to make your relationship work
304
00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:25,600
with Tru-Sé boy band star
Shepherd Knight.
305
00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:28,760
The press branded you an opportunist,
a gold digger.
306
00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:32,360
Canada Today went as far as to name you
"The Mountee."
307
00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:34,360
[scoffs] What a fun memory.
308
00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:37,640
[host] Sadly, baby Olive grew up
in a broken home.
309
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:40,520
So where is your daughter right now?
310
00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:41,840
She's on a play-date.
311
00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:45,000
You don't have to constantly ask
working mothers where their kids are.
312
00:13:45,080 --> 00:13:48,400
[laughs] So you definitely weren't
interested in the money? At all?
313
00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:50,320
No, I just wanted
to fuck the guy on stage.
314
00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:52,360
[host] Well, I think we've learned
so much today
315
00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:55,680
about how to love ourselves
in our own aging skin.
316
00:13:58,160 --> 00:14:01,280
[dogs bark and pant]
317
00:14:02,720 --> 00:14:03,760
Come on.
318
00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:06,680
Yeah.
319
00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:07,640
[man] Oi!
320
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:10,280
Those are my kid's dogs!
321
00:14:10,680 --> 00:14:12,560
Oh, Shep. Hi! It's, er...
322
00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:13,760
It's Evan.
323
00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:21,920
And you have permission
to be walking my daughter's property?
324
00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:23,400
I do, yeah.
325
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,040
Okay.
326
00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:31,760
[dogs whimper]
327
00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:35,560
Would you be interested
in an investment opportunity?
328
00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:36,640
What have you got in mind?
329
00:14:36,720 --> 00:14:38,680
-Plums.
-Plums?
330
00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:40,680
They're the new superfood, man.
331
00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:45,720
Get this.
Saffron is more valuable than cocaine.
332
00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:47,800
It's the world's most expensive spice.
333
00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:51,280
Truffles cost more per gram than diamonds.
334
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:56,360
We're talking about plums, though, right?
Like the fruit?
335
00:14:56,440 --> 00:14:58,000
Got a guy in the plum industry.
336
00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:02,040
Twelve percent of your vitamin C intake
in each one.
337
00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:03,200
Twelve, man!
338
00:15:03,760 --> 00:15:06,040
Wow, that sounds pretty moderate.
I'll, um...
339
00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:07,680
-I'll get back to you.
-Cool.
340
00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:09,760
You got a dog walker number
I can get you at?
341
00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:11,240
[Evan laughs]
342
00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:12,600
It's Evan, man.
343
00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:13,840
-[mouths]
-Evan.
344
00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:16,880
Evan. Katherine's boyfriend.
345
00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:19,200
-You and my ex?
-Yeah.
346
00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:20,760
[sighs]
347
00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:23,240
She can be sneaky, man.
Watch out for that one.
348
00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:24,520
Wh... what do you mean?
349
00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:27,400
I'd just hate to see
a nice guy like you get hurt. [sighs]
350
00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:28,760
Or maybe I'm out of line
351
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:31,240
and you're cool with everything
that went down the other night.
352
00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:36,280
Her demanding sex off me and threatening
me with violence when I changed me mind.
353
00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:41,320
[laughs] God, I am glad I did not cum
into her hands when she begged me to.
354
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:48,960
Millie's house is cool. She has her own
phone and she's getting an Apple Watch.
355
00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:50,520
[Katherine] That kid can tell time?
356
00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:53,600
[Olive] Stop that, Mummy,
we're friends now. How's Aunt Bev?
357
00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:55,960
[Katherine] Bum looks great,
and she made a mean lady cry
358
00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:56,920
and it went viral.
359
00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:59,000
PR is a strange old beast.
360
00:15:59,080 --> 00:16:01,080
Jameela Jamil embedded the footage
with the words,
361
00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:05,080
"Art is pain. So is being a woman.
Beautiful!" Isn't that great?
362
00:16:05,480 --> 00:16:08,400
But more press means more work.
What about having my baby?
363
00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:10,320
Hey, I can work and have a baby,
Piers Morgan.
364
00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:14,920
I was thinking,
if you promise not to have sex with him,
365
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:16,840
maybe Dr. Evan can be the baby's dad.
366
00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:19,840
You think that would make sense?
367
00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:23,120
Yes. And he can go live on a boat
next to my dad's boat.
368
00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:26,360
Olive, I can't just collect dads
and keep 'em down by the river.
369
00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:29,600
-Well, where would he live then?
-Dr. Evan would live with us.
370
00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:33,560
No. I did the sleeping-over test
and now I've decided.
371
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:36,400
He can live by the river
and the baby can live with us.
372
00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:38,360
Oh, you've decided?
373
00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:40,360
You don't get to decide
the big things in my life.
374
00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:41,800
I have choices, Olive,
375
00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:44,800
and I don't have to keep making bad ones
because I've made bad ones before.
376
00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:46,200
-[Shep yells]
-[Olive screams]
377
00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:47,680
-[Olive] Daddy!
-[laughs] Classic!
378
00:16:47,760 --> 00:16:49,760
-How have you got the dogs?
-I got them from Ethan.
379
00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:51,840
-Leave them. They're full of plum juice.
-What?
380
00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:55,800
Plums. The wood isn't commercially
available, but it can be used to make--
381
00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:57,200
No, Evan. You saw Evan?
382
00:16:57,280 --> 00:16:58,920
Yeah, I had a chat with him.
383
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,480
That is one unhappy mangina.
384
00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:03,280
-[dog barks]
-[Shep] Hey!
385
00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:05,000
[Katherine] Oh, no.
386
00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:10,720
[pants]
387
00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:14,480
[pants and groans]
388
00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:16,440
[groans]
389
00:17:18,360 --> 00:17:19,560
[breathes heavily]
390
00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:22,080
Oh, hey.
391
00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:25,440
-[coughs] Where are you going?
-Home.
392
00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:26,800
Okay. So I'll see you later.
393
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:30,240
Why? [scoffs] What were you gonna do
when you eventually got pregnant by Shep?
394
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:33,160
Were you gonna tell me,
or make me think it was mine?
395
00:17:33,240 --> 00:17:35,680
No. I don't know what he told you,
but we didn't have sex.
396
00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:37,200
Then what were you doing with Shep?
397
00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:39,600
[sighs] It's like,
what if Olive needed bone marrow?
398
00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:41,480
B... Bone marrow?
399
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:44,280
Her sibling would need to be a match.
I've been through a lot this week
400
00:17:44,360 --> 00:17:46,040
-with Bev nearly dying.
-Yeah, I was there.
401
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:47,280
Well...
402
00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:50,440
If I died, they would split my kids up
if they had different dads.
403
00:17:51,120 --> 00:17:56,720
So you won't have my kids in case you die
and Olive needs a transplant?
404
00:17:57,360 --> 00:17:59,880
[breathes heavily]
405
00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:00,800
Well, yeah.
406
00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:03,800
Ah, that makes...
You're a total psycho, you know that?
407
00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:05,880
-Well...
-First, a sperm donor. Now Shep.
408
00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:07,760
I can explain, because--
409
00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:10,600
A guy who couldn't pass a piss test
to qualify as a sperm donor?
410
00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:12,360
You don't even respect me enough
to tell me.
411
00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:14,840
I do respect you, but we have one fight
and you're leaving.
412
00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:17,560
Only because you're actively
trying to get pregnant by someone else.
413
00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:19,320
I was being logical.
414
00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:20,400
Show me your chest.
415
00:18:22,120 --> 00:18:23,080
-Evan--
-Show me.
416
00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:33,640
[scoffs]
417
00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:35,840
You should've fucked him.
418
00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:37,960
You deserve each other.
419
00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:42,480
And neither of you should be parents.
420
00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:48,840
[sighs]
421
00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:51,040
Ow.
422
00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:53,160
-[Shep chuckles]
-[dog barks]
423
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:55,760
-Mum! Come on, come on.
-[dog barks]
424
00:18:55,840 --> 00:18:57,480
-[Olive] Bye, Dad.
-[Shep] Bye, sweetie.
425
00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:04,120
The dogs might have the shits tonight
426
00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:06,640
-so I'd give them access to grass.
-How could you do that to me?
427
00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:10,320
Oh.
428
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:12,520
You mean boyfriend? That done?
429
00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:14,880
Why take something positive from my life?
430
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:18,760
What is the point
in still trying to hurt me?
431
00:19:18,840 --> 00:19:21,400
Hey, it just came up
and that dude asks a lot of questions.
432
00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:23,160
I respect you in front of your daughter.
433
00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:25,480
-I clean her. I feed her.
-Fucking lettuce.
434
00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:26,640
So why?
435
00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:29,720
Listen. Project Betrayal was your idea.
436
00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:33,160
I felt I had a responsibility
to let the dude know, man to man.
437
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:35,920
You don't feel responsibility.
You're a worm.
438
00:19:36,360 --> 00:19:38,040
Worms are 100% core strength.
439
00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:39,760
And this is on you.
440
00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:43,280
You tried to fuck me behind
your boyfriend's back and now he's gone.
441
00:19:43,360 --> 00:19:45,520
If you had anything worth taking,
I would take it!
442
00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:51,400
But you don't have anything...
443
00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:52,920
but us.
444
00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:55,200
You're a loser.
445
00:19:56,840 --> 00:19:57,680
[door slams]
446
00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:04,760
[quiet sniffling]
447
00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:10,320
[sniffling continues]
448
00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:13,680
-[quiet sniffles]
-Mum?
449
00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:15,600
Are you crying?
450
00:20:16,360 --> 00:20:17,800
[Katherine] Yeah, I had a bad dream.
451
00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:20,320
It's okay, Mummy.
452
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:23,680
Do you want me to sing you a song
to make you forget?
453
00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:26,600
Yeah, I'd love that.
454
00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:36,360
♪ This love I've got for you
Could take me round the world ♪
455
00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:39,200
♪ So show me love
Show me love ♪
456
00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:42,200
♪ Show me life ♪
457
00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:47,120
♪ Baby, show me what it's all about ♪
458
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:48,480
[breathes deeply]
459
00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:53,400
♪ You're the one that I ever needed ♪
460
00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:57,960
♪ Show me love and what it's all about ♪
461
00:20:58,040 --> 00:20:59,320
♪ All right ♪
462
00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:02,840
[piano music begins]
463
00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:11,280
♪ Show me love
Show me love ♪
464
00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:14,080
♪ Show me life ♪
465
00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:19,320
♪ Baby, show me what it's all about ♪
466
00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:25,800
♪ You're the one that I ever needed ♪
467
00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:30,000
♪ Show me love and what it's all about ♪
468
00:21:31,360 --> 00:21:35,640
♪ Don't waste this love
I wanna give it to you... ♪
36411
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