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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:19,512 --> 00:00:24,512 Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org 2 00:00:27,295 --> 00:00:28,963 I'm gonna miss you so much. 3 00:00:29,047 --> 00:00:31,716 Well, you'll come and visit me and, uh, I'll call. 4 00:00:31,799 --> 00:00:34,219 - I love you so much. - Oh, me, too. 5 00:00:38,056 --> 00:00:39,891 Still some packing to do. 6 00:00:39,974 --> 00:00:41,726 Got a big day tomorrow. 7 00:00:41,810 --> 00:00:44,395 - Okay, Mom. I'm coming. - Early start and a long drive. 8 00:00:44,479 --> 00:00:45,480 Goodbye. 9 00:00:45,563 --> 00:00:47,148 ANNIE: Bye, Mrs. Sawyer. (CHUCKLES) JASON: Bye. 10 00:00:47,232 --> 00:00:48,691 - She hates me. - No she doesn't. 11 00:00:48,775 --> 00:00:51,486 - She doesn't. - No, she really, really does. 12 00:00:51,569 --> 00:00:52,821 But I love you. Okay? 13 00:00:53,279 --> 00:00:57,075 I... I gotta go. I'll call you when I get there. 14 00:00:57,158 --> 00:00:58,451 Call me from the road. 15 00:00:58,535 --> 00:01:00,703 Okay, it's a three-hour drive to Michigan State. 16 00:01:00,787 --> 00:01:03,163 We're gonna be okay. I'll see you soon. 17 00:01:03,247 --> 00:01:05,375 - Okay. Mmm-hmm. - Promise. 18 00:01:09,128 --> 00:01:10,964 You bet your ass you will. 19 00:01:11,756 --> 00:01:13,758 {\an8}(ROCK SONG PLAYING) 20 00:01:28,857 --> 00:01:32,944 Sittin' here eatin' my heart out, waitin' 21 00:01:33,027 --> 00:01:36,614 {\an8}Waitin' for some lover to call 22 00:01:36,698 --> 00:01:41,327 {\an8}- Dialed about a thousand numbers lately - (TYPING) 23 00:01:41,411 --> 00:01:43,621 {\an8}Almost rang the phone off the wall 24 00:01:44,956 --> 00:01:48,626 {\an8}Lookin' for a lover who needs another 25 00:01:48,710 --> 00:01:51,671 {\an8}- Don't want another night on my own - (COUGHING) 26 00:01:52,881 --> 00:01:56,843 Wanna share my love with a warm-blooded lover 27 00:01:56,926 --> 00:02:00,096 {\an8}Wanna bring a wild man back home 28 00:02:00,930 --> 00:02:01,931 {\an8}Oh, shit. 29 00:02:02,015 --> 00:02:03,808 {\an8}Gotta have some hot love baby, this evenin' 30 00:02:03,892 --> 00:02:07,436 {\an8}I need some hot stuff, baby, tonight 31 00:02:08,228 --> 00:02:12,609 {\an8}I want some hot stuff, baby, this evenin' 32 00:02:12,692 --> 00:02:14,986 {\an8}- Gotta have some lovin' - (GRUNTS) 33 00:02:15,069 --> 00:02:17,405 {\an8}Gotta have some love tonight 34 00:02:17,489 --> 00:02:18,698 - Hot stuff - (YELLS) 35 00:02:18,781 --> 00:02:19,782 (FABRIC RIPPING) 36 00:02:20,450 --> 00:02:22,076 Oh, no. 37 00:02:23,703 --> 00:02:27,081 Oh. Yeah, I'm bare back there. Okay. 38 00:02:27,457 --> 00:02:28,875 (OVEN TIMER BEEPING) 39 00:02:29,751 --> 00:02:30,752 (SOFTLY) Shit. 40 00:02:34,964 --> 00:02:36,090 {\an8}Oh, god damn it. God damn it. 41 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:46,601 {\an8}-(TEARS) - (YELLS) 42 00:02:46,684 --> 00:02:47,685 {\an8}-(DOG BARKING) - (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING) 43 00:02:47,769 --> 00:02:50,146 {\an8}I need hot stuff 44 00:02:51,773 --> 00:02:52,774 {\an8}PATRICIA: Hello? 45 00:02:52,857 --> 00:02:56,653 {\an8}I want some hot stuff That's right 46 00:02:59,781 --> 00:03:01,074 {\an8}Hello? 47 00:03:05,453 --> 00:03:08,248 {\an8}ANNIE: Yeah. Okay. Here we go. 48 00:03:08,748 --> 00:03:09,874 {\an8}(GRUNTING) 49 00:03:11,918 --> 00:03:12,919 {\an8}(TIMER BEEPS) 50 00:03:14,379 --> 00:03:15,630 {\an8}Oh... 51 00:03:22,679 --> 00:03:23,972 {\an8}(EXHALES) 52 00:03:26,099 --> 00:03:27,100 {\an8}(GRUNTS) 53 00:03:27,433 --> 00:03:28,434 {\an8}-Oh, yeah. - (SONG CONTINUES) 54 00:03:28,518 --> 00:03:32,397 {\an8}Hot, hot, hot, hot stuff 55 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:34,357 {\an8}Hot, hot, hot 56 00:03:36,484 --> 00:03:37,485 {\an8}Oh, shit. 57 00:03:37,569 --> 00:03:40,280 {\an8}Hot, hot, hot, hot stuff 58 00:03:40,363 --> 00:03:43,324 {\an8}Hot, hot, hot 59 00:03:43,408 --> 00:03:48,163 {\an8}How's about some hot stuff baby, this evenin'? 60 00:03:48,246 --> 00:03:50,248 {\an8}Ooh, I need your loving 61 00:03:50,331 --> 00:03:52,584 {\an8}Gotta have your hot stuff tonight 62 00:03:52,667 --> 00:03:53,960 {\an8}Hot stuff 63 00:03:54,794 --> 00:03:56,129 {\an8}(PORN ACTRESS MOANING IN VIDEO) 64 00:03:58,673 --> 00:04:00,049 - Annie? - Hi. 65 00:04:00,133 --> 00:04:01,134 - Oh! - (SONG CONTINUES) 66 00:04:01,217 --> 00:04:02,218 Hot stuff 67 00:04:02,677 --> 00:04:04,179 - (SONG ENDS) - PORN ACTRESS: Oh, yes! 68 00:04:04,304 --> 00:04:05,305 Oh... 69 00:04:06,681 --> 00:04:07,682 {\an8}(CHUCKLES SOFTLY) 70 00:04:08,641 --> 00:04:11,311 Patricia! I'm dying for a piece of that pie, hon. 71 00:04:11,394 --> 00:04:12,645 (TV PLAYING) 72 00:04:14,647 --> 00:04:16,273 - Surprise. - What are you doin'? 73 00:04:16,357 --> 00:04:18,610 You leave for college tomorrow and I wanted to give you 74 00:04:18,693 --> 00:04:20,737 a night to remember. 75 00:04:21,946 --> 00:04:23,156 - Sex. - Oh. 76 00:04:23,239 --> 00:04:24,657 - I want to give you sex. - Sure. Yeah. 77 00:04:24,782 --> 00:04:26,701 - Sex with me, tonight, now. - Yeah. Yeah, okay. 78 00:04:26,784 --> 00:04:28,119 - (CHUCKLES) - Cool. I just... 79 00:04:28,203 --> 00:04:29,662 I thought you didn't want to. 80 00:04:29,746 --> 00:04:32,081 Oh, of course I want to. 81 00:04:32,165 --> 00:04:34,375 - I just want it to be special. - Yeah. 82 00:04:34,459 --> 00:04:36,503 - And romantic. And perfect. - Right. Yeah. 83 00:04:36,586 --> 00:04:39,255 I love you and I wanna lose my virginity to you. 84 00:04:39,339 --> 00:04:41,424 Oh, that's... That's so nice. 85 00:04:41,508 --> 00:04:43,218 - That is a Christmas card. - That's what I said. 86 00:04:43,301 --> 00:04:46,596 - I'm gonna take a picture. - My parents would love to see his face. 87 00:04:47,096 --> 00:04:48,181 You wanna do the thing? 88 00:04:48,598 --> 00:04:50,183 Guess what I'm wearing under my coat. 89 00:04:50,266 --> 00:04:52,811 Oh, I'm so ready. I'm so ready. 90 00:04:53,436 --> 00:04:55,438 JASON: Oh, my... Oh, what... Uh... 91 00:04:55,522 --> 00:04:56,648 That's not what I wanted. 92 00:04:56,731 --> 00:04:58,024 Wow, what a beautiful pie. 93 00:04:58,107 --> 00:04:59,442 PATRICIA: Hi. FRED: Hello. 94 00:04:59,526 --> 00:05:00,610 PEEPAW: Who the hell is it? 95 00:05:00,693 --> 00:05:01,986 PATRICIA: It's me, Daddy. 96 00:05:02,070 --> 00:05:05,114 - You're on a video chat. Yeah. - It's a video chat. 97 00:05:05,198 --> 00:05:07,033 What're you doing on TV? 98 00:05:07,116 --> 00:05:08,743 - Maybe you need, like, a doctor? - No. No. 99 00:05:08,827 --> 00:05:10,453 - Need some ointment or something... Oh. - Shut up. 100 00:05:10,537 --> 00:05:12,622 Let's go upstairs and see your grandson, huh? 101 00:05:12,705 --> 00:05:15,208 - We made this pie for him. - PATRICIA: Yeah. It's really hot. 102 00:05:15,291 --> 00:05:16,501 FRED: She did such a good job. 103 00:05:16,584 --> 00:05:17,919 MEEMAW: Where are you? PEEPAW: I'm right here. 104 00:05:18,002 --> 00:05:20,088 MEEMAW: No, not you. I'm talking to them. 105 00:05:20,171 --> 00:05:22,173 We're going upstairs, Mom. 106 00:05:22,257 --> 00:05:24,467 And Jason's gonna be surprised. 107 00:05:25,218 --> 00:05:27,220 - Just wait. - Just wait. 108 00:05:27,303 --> 00:05:30,431 - Who's Jason? - Jason's your grandson, honey. 109 00:05:30,515 --> 00:05:32,475 PEEPAW: What channel is this? 110 00:05:33,101 --> 00:05:34,102 Hmm. 111 00:05:34,185 --> 00:05:35,770 Oh! What is that? 112 00:05:35,854 --> 00:05:36,855 {\an8}(MUFFLED) 113 00:05:36,938 --> 00:05:38,982 {\an8}What? 114 00:05:42,443 --> 00:05:43,945 Uh-huh. Sure. Okay. Yeah. 115 00:05:44,112 --> 00:05:45,113 (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) 116 00:05:45,613 --> 00:05:46,614 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 117 00:05:46,698 --> 00:05:47,991 - PATRICIA: Honey. - (BOTH GASP) 118 00:05:48,074 --> 00:05:49,909 We have a surprise for you. 119 00:05:52,245 --> 00:05:54,122 PATRICIA: Jason? FRED: Jason. 120 00:05:54,205 --> 00:05:59,127 Girl's got a prophylactic in her mouth. 121 00:05:59,586 --> 00:06:00,587 (PATRICIA WHIMPERS) 122 00:06:00,670 --> 00:06:02,213 Hold on, Mom. I'm not dressed. 123 00:06:02,297 --> 00:06:03,298 (GASPS) 124 00:06:04,090 --> 00:06:06,092 - Are you choking on the... - (CHOKING) 125 00:06:06,176 --> 00:06:08,094 PATRICIA: (BANGING ON DOOR) Jason Sawyer, open this door! 126 00:06:08,178 --> 00:06:11,055 Sorry, Mom, I got a charley horse in my leg. 127 00:06:11,139 --> 00:06:12,348 Can you bring me the banana 128 00:06:12,432 --> 00:06:13,808 - for the potassium? - (BOTH GRUNTING) 129 00:06:14,976 --> 00:06:15,977 (GASPS) 130 00:06:16,311 --> 00:06:17,395 JASON: Okay. 131 00:06:17,479 --> 00:06:18,855 I love you very much. 132 00:06:18,938 --> 00:06:20,356 But, uh, you gotta go. 133 00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:21,441 Okay. Bye. 134 00:06:22,817 --> 00:06:24,277 (SCREAMING) 135 00:06:25,820 --> 00:06:26,988 - (ANNIE GRUNTS) - (CAT YOWLS) 136 00:06:27,280 --> 00:06:28,490 (DOG BARKING) 137 00:06:29,032 --> 00:06:30,033 (GASPS) 138 00:06:30,158 --> 00:06:31,993 - PATRICIA: (BANGING ON DOOR) Jason Sawyer! - Sorry, Mom. 139 00:06:32,076 --> 00:06:33,953 That damned charley horse. (CHUCKLES) 140 00:06:34,996 --> 00:06:39,876 Meemaw and Peepaw saw your penis. 141 00:06:44,422 --> 00:06:45,924 (SLOW MUSIC PLAYS) 142 00:06:47,425 --> 00:06:48,468 (CELL PHONE CHIMING) 143 00:07:03,233 --> 00:07:04,984 - (BED CLACKING) - KAYLA: No. Not yet. Ow! 144 00:07:05,318 --> 00:07:06,820 TIM: You're so smart and gorgeous. 145 00:07:06,903 --> 00:07:08,822 - Now? - KAYLA: Not yet. I'll tell you when. 146 00:07:08,905 --> 00:07:09,906 Just a little higher. 147 00:07:09,989 --> 00:07:12,450 - TIM: You're my princess. (GRUNTING) - Rub softer but faster. 148 00:07:12,534 --> 00:07:14,661 - Smash that pussy now! Now! - (TIM PANTING) 149 00:07:14,744 --> 00:07:16,830 TIM: I cherish you. I cherish you. 150 00:07:16,913 --> 00:07:18,540 (BOTH MOANING LOUDLY) 151 00:07:18,957 --> 00:07:20,708 (BOTH PANTING) 152 00:07:25,547 --> 00:07:27,298 - Fuck yeah. - Yeah. 153 00:07:27,382 --> 00:07:30,677 We are the greatest couple ever. 154 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:33,137 No one has sex like we do. 155 00:07:33,221 --> 00:07:38,476 I mean, I've never had sex like this, but you're my first, so I don't know. 156 00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:39,561 Hey. 157 00:07:39,644 --> 00:07:43,314 I showed you that you're in my lobster poems I wrote about you, right? 158 00:07:43,398 --> 00:07:46,609 Yeah, but, like, how amazing? 159 00:07:46,693 --> 00:07:49,070 Like, oh, I don't know... 160 00:07:49,154 --> 00:07:51,030 Better than the other girls? 161 00:07:52,365 --> 00:07:54,284 - You're doing it again. - (CHUCKLES) 162 00:07:54,951 --> 00:07:57,453 I'm not jealous. I'm just asking. 163 00:07:57,537 --> 00:08:01,416 Yeah. It starts with asking and then you spiral. 164 00:08:01,499 --> 00:08:02,584 (CLATTERING) 165 00:08:04,919 --> 00:08:06,754 Are you filming us? 166 00:08:07,881 --> 00:08:10,383 You little shit! That is a total violation. 167 00:08:10,466 --> 00:08:11,509 Not cool, Keenan. 168 00:08:11,593 --> 00:08:16,347 You respect my boundaries, you little shit! 169 00:08:16,431 --> 00:08:21,186 - (SIGHS) - Get back here! Give me that phone! 170 00:08:21,269 --> 00:08:24,647 You will learn about emotional intelligence. 171 00:08:25,648 --> 00:08:29,652 Delete that video! The framing isn't even good! 172 00:08:29,861 --> 00:08:30,862 (TYPING) 173 00:08:31,571 --> 00:08:32,572 (SIGHS) 174 00:08:32,822 --> 00:08:34,908 Again? Really? 175 00:08:35,783 --> 00:08:39,579 - Kayla! - Oops. Sorry. Love you. 176 00:08:39,662 --> 00:08:41,372 Who the fuck is Monica? 177 00:08:44,459 --> 00:08:47,462 I do not shrink from this responsibility. 178 00:08:47,545 --> 00:08:48,796 I welcome it. 179 00:08:49,088 --> 00:08:50,298 (MICHELLE MOANS) 180 00:08:51,674 --> 00:08:54,469 - (MICHELLE GROANS) - I do not believe that any of us... 181 00:08:55,887 --> 00:08:59,182 - (MICHELLE SIGHS) - The energy, the faith, the devotion... 182 00:08:59,265 --> 00:09:01,476 - MICHELLE: Here we go. - ...which we bring to this endeavor... 183 00:09:01,559 --> 00:09:03,937 - Oh, yeah. - ...will light our country and all... 184 00:09:04,020 --> 00:09:05,271 - (SEX TOY BUZZING) - Bring it home now. 185 00:09:05,355 --> 00:09:09,776 {\an8}And the glow from that fire can truly light the world. 186 00:09:09,859 --> 00:09:11,778 And so, my fellow Americans, 187 00:09:11,861 --> 00:09:15,990 ask not what your country can do for you... 188 00:09:16,074 --> 00:09:17,075 (MOANING LOUDLY) 189 00:09:17,158 --> 00:09:19,786 - ...ask what you can do for your country. - (UPBEAT POP SONG PLAYING) 190 00:09:19,869 --> 00:09:22,956 You can ring my bell 191 00:09:23,039 --> 00:09:25,208 Ring my bell 192 00:09:25,291 --> 00:09:26,417 (MICHELLE MOANS SOFTLY) 193 00:09:26,501 --> 00:09:28,670 You can ring my bell 194 00:09:29,379 --> 00:09:30,380 {\an8}(SONG ENDS) 195 00:09:30,463 --> 00:09:31,631 {\an8}(ROCK MUSIC PLAYS) 196 00:09:32,632 --> 00:09:35,051 - STEPHANIE: Principal Shankman. - Stephanie. 197 00:09:36,177 --> 00:09:37,178 SHANKMAN: Whoo! 198 00:09:37,262 --> 00:09:39,138 Been waitin' for you. (CHUCKLING) 199 00:09:39,973 --> 00:09:41,391 That outfit's amazing. 200 00:09:41,474 --> 00:09:44,477 I'm glad you reconsidered, decided to take me up on my offer. 201 00:09:44,561 --> 00:09:46,896 - Strip, slave. - (CHUCKLES) Kinky. 202 00:09:47,313 --> 00:09:49,232 - You like that? - I like it. I like it. 203 00:09:49,315 --> 00:09:51,317 - Are you excited? - Oh, yes, Mistress. 204 00:09:51,734 --> 00:09:53,528 - Handcuffs. - Handcuffs, yeah. 205 00:09:53,611 --> 00:09:54,737 (WHIP CRACKING) 206 00:09:54,821 --> 00:09:56,906 - Is that a whip? - Yes, it is. 207 00:09:56,990 --> 00:09:59,159 (CHUCKLES AND MIMICS WHIP CRACKING) 208 00:09:59,450 --> 00:10:00,952 (WHIP CONTINUES CRACKING) 209 00:10:01,452 --> 00:10:03,121 - See, it's an app. - Oh. 210 00:10:03,204 --> 00:10:05,165 - It's for S and M freaks like you. - I like it. 211 00:10:05,248 --> 00:10:06,249 I don't really understand it but... 212 00:10:06,332 --> 00:10:07,792 Yeah, 'cause you're fucking stupid. 213 00:10:07,876 --> 00:10:09,669 You know, can you do the mommy thing again? 214 00:10:09,752 --> 00:10:11,796 The kids at school are gonna love that. 215 00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:13,298 Wait, wait, wait a minute. Are you filming me? 216 00:10:13,381 --> 00:10:16,384 Fuck, yeah. See, I've had it with you, Principal Shankman, 217 00:10:16,467 --> 00:10:19,053 hitting on me and the other girls. It's gross. 218 00:10:19,137 --> 00:10:22,098 And I really don't want your pervy, sexual harassing ass around 219 00:10:22,182 --> 00:10:23,349 for my senior year, so... 220 00:10:23,683 --> 00:10:25,351 Welcome to your retirement party. 221 00:10:25,435 --> 00:10:26,978 Young lady, take the handcuffs off. 222 00:10:27,061 --> 00:10:28,480 Oh, no, no, no. 223 00:10:28,563 --> 00:10:30,940 See, I'm in charge now, you creepy fuck. 224 00:10:31,024 --> 00:10:32,901 Retire or this video goes viral. 225 00:10:33,485 --> 00:10:35,653 So, take the weekend, think about what you've done. 226 00:10:35,737 --> 00:10:38,448 And I hope this teaches you a very valuable lesson. 227 00:10:39,449 --> 00:10:42,368 Never, ever fuck with a Stifler. 228 00:10:46,623 --> 00:10:47,832 - Stephanie! - Bye! 229 00:10:47,916 --> 00:10:50,293 Stifler! Stifler! 230 00:10:51,252 --> 00:10:52,378 You're in big trouble. 231 00:10:52,462 --> 00:10:53,463 (DOOR CLOSES) 232 00:10:53,546 --> 00:10:54,547 I'm in bigger trouble. 233 00:10:55,131 --> 00:10:56,799 STEPHANIE: Are you fucking kidding me? 234 00:10:56,883 --> 00:11:00,094 You choked on a blowjob condom and you don't even get slammed? 235 00:11:00,178 --> 00:11:01,971 It's called a dental dam. 236 00:11:02,055 --> 00:11:03,223 Why does no one know this? 237 00:11:03,306 --> 00:11:05,475 Okay. So you use a dental dam for safety, 238 00:11:05,558 --> 00:11:08,520 but you still fell out of a window and you did not get laid. 239 00:11:08,603 --> 00:11:10,313 Yeah, I get it. I messed up. 240 00:11:10,396 --> 00:11:12,190 I'm sorry if I wanted my first time 241 00:11:12,273 --> 00:11:14,609 - to be both safe and beautiful, okay? - (ALL GROAN) 242 00:11:14,692 --> 00:11:16,694 - Come on. - Sex isn't supposed to be beautiful. 243 00:11:16,778 --> 00:11:19,572 It's supposed to be hot and dirty and hungry! 244 00:11:19,656 --> 00:11:21,825 ANNIE: I am going to do it and it is going to be beautiful, okay. 245 00:11:21,908 --> 00:11:23,701 Tough love time, Annie. Your boyfriend's a total bro-bag. 246 00:11:23,785 --> 00:11:25,703 - Yeah. - Jason is not a bro-bag. 247 00:11:25,787 --> 00:11:28,540 I didn't wanna say it, but he is the basic of all bros. 248 00:11:28,623 --> 00:11:29,624 - I'm sorry. - Guys! 249 00:11:29,707 --> 00:11:32,293 We're supposed to be having fun and fuckin' celebrating our youth! 250 00:11:32,377 --> 00:11:34,671 - Senior year, bitches! - (WHOOPING) 251 00:11:34,754 --> 00:11:35,755 (ENGINE REVS) 252 00:11:35,839 --> 00:11:36,923 (WHOOPING) 253 00:11:37,507 --> 00:11:39,634 BOY: Back to school party! 254 00:11:47,725 --> 00:11:49,310 (CHEERING AND SCREAMING) 255 00:11:49,936 --> 00:11:51,187 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 256 00:11:52,272 --> 00:11:54,649 Students of East Great Falls! 257 00:11:54,732 --> 00:11:57,485 Welcome to the annual Back To School Party! 258 00:11:57,569 --> 00:11:58,570 (ALL CHEERING) 259 00:12:01,573 --> 00:12:05,618 And on Monday we go back to the bullshit banality of high school life. 260 00:12:05,702 --> 00:12:07,370 But today, the sun is out! 261 00:12:07,453 --> 00:12:09,247 The booze is flowing! 262 00:12:09,330 --> 00:12:13,126 And we're teenagers prone to bad decisions! 263 00:12:13,668 --> 00:12:15,670 Yeah! 264 00:12:21,551 --> 00:12:22,552 (WHOOPING) 265 00:12:25,180 --> 00:12:26,181 (BARKING) 266 00:12:27,098 --> 00:12:28,933 Ah! Drink it down! 267 00:12:32,187 --> 00:12:33,438 East Great Falls! 268 00:12:36,816 --> 00:12:38,651 - Hey, girl. - (GIRL WHOOPS) 269 00:12:40,862 --> 00:12:42,197 McCORMICK: What's good, Stifler? 270 00:12:43,823 --> 00:12:44,908 Brett McCormick. 271 00:12:44,991 --> 00:12:46,868 At a party and still conscious. Good for you. 272 00:12:46,951 --> 00:12:48,244 You know, Stifler, I hear things. 273 00:12:48,328 --> 00:12:50,997 You've got the reputation of being the bang of the century. 274 00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:52,999 - Feels like I'm missing out. - (SCOFFING CHUCKLE) 275 00:12:53,082 --> 00:12:54,876 You know, that's a real panty-dropper, McCormick. 276 00:12:54,959 --> 00:12:56,252 I'll tell you what. 277 00:12:56,336 --> 00:12:58,421 Not today. Not tomorrow. 278 00:12:58,505 --> 00:12:59,714 Not if you were the last man on Earth. 279 00:12:59,797 --> 00:13:02,050 Not if I even loved the reek of Axe body spray. 280 00:13:02,133 --> 00:13:04,385 Not if I didn't already know you have a itty-bitty little dick. 281 00:13:04,469 --> 00:13:06,054 - That's not... (CHUCKLES) - No, see, I hear things, too. 282 00:13:06,137 --> 00:13:08,806 So don't try to be clever. That would just be really bad for you. 283 00:13:08,890 --> 00:13:11,476 Just don't throw up anywhere or do any nonconsensual groping. 284 00:13:11,559 --> 00:13:12,852 That's your job for today. 285 00:13:13,394 --> 00:13:14,395 I believe in you. 286 00:13:14,479 --> 00:13:15,480 (ANNIE LAUGHING) 287 00:13:17,649 --> 00:13:19,275 TIM: They're my feelings. 288 00:13:19,359 --> 00:13:21,486 KAYLA: You're being ridiculous! Okay? 289 00:13:22,445 --> 00:13:23,655 TIM: You hacked my phone. 290 00:13:23,738 --> 00:13:26,783 Okay, so I hacked my boyfriend's phone. 291 00:13:26,866 --> 00:13:28,701 Everybody does it, by the way. 292 00:13:28,785 --> 00:13:30,662 - Am I right, ladies? Yes, okay? - (SCATTERED RESPONSES) 293 00:13:30,745 --> 00:13:33,039 And I see some thirsty bitch hitting on you. 294 00:13:33,456 --> 00:13:36,417 For the last time, that thirsty bitch is my cousin. 295 00:13:36,501 --> 00:13:38,419 Are you telling me people don't fuck their cousins? 296 00:13:38,503 --> 00:13:41,464 Because it happens. Their kids have tails. 297 00:13:41,548 --> 00:13:44,008 And she asked if you've been working out? 298 00:13:44,092 --> 00:13:46,094 Because she's my physical therapist. 299 00:13:46,177 --> 00:13:47,929 She helped me when I blew out my knee last year. 300 00:13:48,012 --> 00:13:49,848 Wait. I vaguely remember this. 301 00:13:49,931 --> 00:13:53,351 Yeah, and you texted her and you told her I have an STD! 302 00:13:53,434 --> 00:13:55,270 KAYLA: Yeah, I wanted her to stay away from you. 303 00:13:55,353 --> 00:13:58,773 Yeah, well, she called my mom and now my mom thinks I have syphilis. 304 00:13:58,857 --> 00:14:00,900 (CHUCKLES) Well, she's gonna be so relieved 305 00:14:00,984 --> 00:14:03,278 when she finds out you don't. Okay? 306 00:14:03,361 --> 00:14:05,530 You know, that can lead to madness if not treated. 307 00:14:05,613 --> 00:14:06,614 Kayla! 308 00:14:06,698 --> 00:14:07,782 (VOICE BREAKING) I'm breaking up with you. 309 00:14:08,491 --> 00:14:10,952 Tim. I love you. 310 00:14:15,123 --> 00:14:16,457 Is this a joke? 311 00:14:16,541 --> 00:14:18,668 We're in love, stupid! 312 00:14:18,751 --> 00:14:21,462 Hey, sweetie. You... You okay? 313 00:14:21,546 --> 00:14:22,672 Oh, that? 314 00:14:22,755 --> 00:14:25,675 Yeah. We just break up so that we can make up. 315 00:14:25,758 --> 00:14:27,218 Yeah, it's just a little speed bump. 316 00:14:27,302 --> 00:14:29,095 Oh! You guys wanna go get fucked up? 317 00:14:29,179 --> 00:14:30,263 Let's go. 318 00:14:30,346 --> 00:14:32,765 - Oh. - Okay. Whatever you want. 319 00:14:32,849 --> 00:14:34,350 That's concerning. 320 00:14:34,434 --> 00:14:35,518 KAYLA: Tequila! 321 00:14:37,520 --> 00:14:38,688 (FACETIME TONE) 322 00:14:39,397 --> 00:14:41,191 - Hey, hey! - Hey! 323 00:14:41,274 --> 00:14:42,775 Annie, what's... What's up? 324 00:14:42,859 --> 00:14:46,738 I'm at this stupid party and I was just missing you. 325 00:14:46,821 --> 00:14:48,865 - Oh, okay. - (PARTY MUSIC PLAYING) 326 00:14:49,115 --> 00:14:50,158 That's good. 327 00:14:50,241 --> 00:14:51,826 That's real good. 328 00:14:52,202 --> 00:14:54,621 In my mouth next time. Okay. 329 00:14:56,039 --> 00:14:57,040 Whoa! (BURPS) 330 00:14:57,123 --> 00:14:59,209 I gotta go. I'll talk to you later. 331 00:14:59,292 --> 00:15:01,044 - Oh, okay. Well, I love... - (BURPS) 332 00:15:02,504 --> 00:15:03,505 You. 333 00:15:03,630 --> 00:15:04,839 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 334 00:15:04,923 --> 00:15:06,299 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm there. 335 00:15:10,303 --> 00:15:12,138 Oh, you might wanna... Okay. 336 00:15:14,182 --> 00:15:15,391 How we doin'? 337 00:15:15,475 --> 00:15:18,895 My sex-starved boyfriend is surrounded by a bunch of college thots, 338 00:15:18,978 --> 00:15:21,898 and I'm the only 17-year-old virgin in history! 339 00:15:21,981 --> 00:15:23,149 KAYLA: You are the lucky one. 340 00:15:23,233 --> 00:15:26,027 Ignorance is bliss, my virginal friend. 341 00:15:26,110 --> 00:15:28,404 It could be days before Tim and I are back together. 342 00:15:28,488 --> 00:15:30,740 None of us need a man to have a healthy sex life. 343 00:15:30,824 --> 00:15:35,578 I am learning that technology has given us incredible innovations in self-pleasure. 344 00:15:35,662 --> 00:15:38,289 And, like, whatever you're into. External, internal, 345 00:15:38,373 --> 00:15:42,752 dildos, rabbits, wands, vibrators, remote-controlled butt plugs, anal beads, 346 00:15:42,836 --> 00:15:44,420 - Ben Wa balls... - Ben Wa balls? 347 00:15:44,504 --> 00:15:48,925 Oh, yeah. I have two in right now. It is a very specific sensation. 348 00:15:49,008 --> 00:15:50,885 - (BALLS CLACKING) - Ooh! Yeah. 349 00:15:51,427 --> 00:15:52,762 (LAUGHING) 350 00:15:53,388 --> 00:15:54,430 They're amazing. 351 00:15:54,514 --> 00:15:57,016 The knowledge that you have something in your vagina 352 00:15:57,100 --> 00:15:58,309 is very unsettling to me. 353 00:15:58,393 --> 00:15:59,602 That is my whole point. 354 00:15:59,686 --> 00:16:02,063 I would argue that you could use some unsettling experimentation, Annie. 355 00:16:02,814 --> 00:16:04,357 Do you have a toy? 356 00:16:04,440 --> 00:16:05,525 We don't... 357 00:16:05,817 --> 00:16:06,985 I don't do that. 358 00:16:07,068 --> 00:16:09,404 Why does she hate you? 359 00:16:09,696 --> 00:16:12,490 MICHELLE: Guys, we're all lacking something in the romance area. 360 00:16:12,574 --> 00:16:15,869 But I feel like, we gotta figure this shit out. Like, it's our senior year. 361 00:16:16,411 --> 00:16:17,495 What do you mean? 362 00:16:17,912 --> 00:16:20,415 - Goal-setting. - Okay, but what goals? 363 00:16:20,498 --> 00:16:23,960 Oh. For you, you need a guy who appreciates your sense of humor 364 00:16:24,043 --> 00:16:25,545 and doesn't take things so personally. 365 00:16:25,628 --> 00:16:28,965 Maybe someone who's less emotional. 366 00:16:29,048 --> 00:16:30,383 Yeah, like, someone, like, way less woke. 367 00:16:30,466 --> 00:16:31,759 Not a guy who wants to make sweet love. 368 00:16:31,843 --> 00:16:33,303 You need a guy who wants to fuck, you know? 369 00:16:33,845 --> 00:16:35,013 Oh, my God! 370 00:16:35,096 --> 00:16:37,515 - I do need someone who wants to fuck! - STEPHANIE: There you go. 371 00:16:37,599 --> 00:16:39,184 MICHELLE: Okay, my turn, my turn. Do me. 372 00:16:39,267 --> 00:16:41,644 Oh. Yeah, that's pretty simple. You need someone smart. 373 00:16:41,728 --> 00:16:43,146 Yeah, you need someone who understands you, 374 00:16:43,229 --> 00:16:46,357 who would like social consciousness, but also like integrity. 375 00:16:46,441 --> 00:16:47,859 Mmm. Yeah, like, someone a little kinky. 376 00:16:47,942 --> 00:16:50,320 I like it. Okay. What about Steph? 377 00:16:50,904 --> 00:16:53,448 Me? Oh, I am so good. 378 00:16:53,531 --> 00:16:56,618 Oh, sweetie, sorry, but you need some serious work. 379 00:16:56,701 --> 00:16:58,286 What? Excuse me? 380 00:16:58,369 --> 00:17:00,788 - What exactly do I need? - Annie, take it. 381 00:17:00,872 --> 00:17:02,582 - A nice guy. - KAYLA: Mmm. 382 00:17:02,665 --> 00:17:07,003 Someone who wants to be around you and buys thoughtful presents 383 00:17:07,086 --> 00:17:08,838 and asks about your day. 384 00:17:13,510 --> 00:17:14,718 (BOTH CHUCKLE) 385 00:17:15,594 --> 00:17:17,554 Okay. What about Annie? 386 00:17:18,097 --> 00:17:20,183 Um, to have sex with the man I love. 387 00:17:20,265 --> 00:17:22,310 Guys, these goals are totally attainable. 388 00:17:22,392 --> 00:17:24,062 - But we need a deadline. - Homecoming. 389 00:17:24,145 --> 00:17:25,897 About a month away, and it has the perfect theme. 390 00:17:25,980 --> 00:17:27,023 STEPHANIE: Theme? 391 00:17:27,106 --> 00:17:29,234 Your lack of school spirit is truly disheartening. 392 00:17:29,317 --> 00:17:31,152 Ladies, come on. It's a MORP dance. 393 00:17:31,236 --> 00:17:32,278 "Prom" spelled backwards. 394 00:17:32,362 --> 00:17:34,906 We switch all the conventions, and most importantly, 395 00:17:34,989 --> 00:17:36,074 - girls ask guys. - STEPHANIE: Okay. 396 00:17:36,157 --> 00:17:39,786 Rule one, set a goal to fix our romantic lives. 397 00:17:39,869 --> 00:17:42,205 Rule number two, we support our fellow women. 398 00:17:42,288 --> 00:17:45,291 Three, we are all accountability partners. 399 00:17:45,375 --> 00:17:47,210 And we won't let each other get away with our usual shit. 400 00:17:47,293 --> 00:17:48,294 - STEPHANIE: Okay. - Yes. Yes. 401 00:17:48,378 --> 00:17:51,089 - And rule four, deadline is homecoming. - Mmm. 402 00:17:51,172 --> 00:17:52,382 - The MORP dance. - Mmm-hmm. 403 00:17:52,465 --> 00:17:54,717 Wait, but I don't like that it's rules. 404 00:17:54,801 --> 00:17:55,969 Makes it sound like a competition. 405 00:17:56,052 --> 00:17:57,345 Well, everything is a competition. 406 00:17:57,971 --> 00:17:59,681 It's not, though. It's a pact, so... 407 00:17:59,764 --> 00:18:01,015 - (LAUGHTER) - KAYLA: Ooh, a pact. Okay. 408 00:18:01,099 --> 00:18:04,394 Well, ladies, please raise your glasses to The Girls' Rules. 409 00:18:04,477 --> 00:18:06,062 KAYLA: Yes! MICHELLE: Cheers. 410 00:18:06,604 --> 00:18:08,148 {\an8}KAYLA: We have a pact! 411 00:18:08,231 --> 00:18:09,357 {\an8}(UPBEAT POP SONG PLAYING) 412 00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:10,775 Call it classic Reach out and grab it 413 00:18:10,859 --> 00:18:12,819 Super massive Pulls like a magnet 414 00:18:14,988 --> 00:18:18,575 {\an8}Jumping straight out the box You got me like whoa 415 00:18:20,118 --> 00:18:23,037 Well, hello Got, got, got me like whoa 416 00:18:23,955 --> 00:18:27,333 Well, hello Got, got, got me like whoa 417 00:18:27,834 --> 00:18:28,835 Well, hello 418 00:18:33,381 --> 00:18:34,757 Okay, we start today. 419 00:18:34,841 --> 00:18:36,801 We're getting what we want, and if anybody doesn't like it, 420 00:18:36,885 --> 00:18:38,178 they can eat a bag of dicks. 421 00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:42,223 Kind of feel like we're Charlie's Angels, but not the Drew Barrymore one. 422 00:18:42,307 --> 00:18:44,225 The older one where no one wore bras. 423 00:18:44,309 --> 00:18:45,310 Nice. 424 00:18:45,393 --> 00:18:46,936 (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING) 425 00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:49,355 I'm attracted I gotta have it 426 00:18:49,439 --> 00:18:51,649 Super massive Pulls like a magnet 427 00:18:52,734 --> 00:18:55,528 Not to ruin this badass moment of female empowerment, 428 00:18:55,612 --> 00:18:59,365 but look at our choices. 429 00:19:00,492 --> 00:19:02,911 KAYLA: You're right. We've known these rats since elementary. 430 00:19:02,994 --> 00:19:04,704 You really think we go to school with the perfect guy 431 00:19:04,787 --> 00:19:05,788 and just haven't noticed? 432 00:19:05,872 --> 00:19:06,998 STEPHANIE: Oh, I think exactly that. 433 00:19:07,081 --> 00:19:08,833 Look, there's over 500 guys at East Great Falls. 434 00:19:08,917 --> 00:19:11,794 The guy you might be looking for might be right under your oyster. 435 00:19:11,878 --> 00:19:12,962 Or at Michigan State. 436 00:19:13,046 --> 00:19:15,048 Okay, ironically, I think that Annie out of all of us 437 00:19:15,131 --> 00:19:16,758 will probably benefit the most from our pact. 438 00:19:16,841 --> 00:19:18,259 - Yeah? - Especially the part 439 00:19:18,343 --> 00:19:20,094 - where we call on her bullshit. - What bullshit? 440 00:19:20,178 --> 00:19:22,680 Okay. You wanna lose it to Jason the D-bag? 441 00:19:22,764 --> 00:19:23,848 Here's an idea. 442 00:19:23,932 --> 00:19:26,142 Get your ass down to Michigan State and fuck his little brains out. 443 00:19:26,684 --> 00:19:28,436 Seems simple, yet here you are. 444 00:19:30,688 --> 00:19:31,689 That was harsh. 445 00:19:31,773 --> 00:19:33,942 STEPHANIE: Yeah, rule three, accountability partner! 446 00:19:34,025 --> 00:19:35,193 Jason's busy. 447 00:19:35,276 --> 00:19:36,569 I'm trying to plan a trip there, 448 00:19:36,653 --> 00:19:39,322 but with his school schedule, we barely even get time to talk. 449 00:19:39,405 --> 00:19:40,824 - Yeah. - So sad. 450 00:19:41,825 --> 00:19:43,076 - (SCHOOL BELL RINGS) - Oh. 451 00:19:43,159 --> 00:19:44,244 Adiós, mofos. 452 00:19:46,579 --> 00:19:48,665 MICHELLE: In the meantime, I suggest we start training. 453 00:19:48,748 --> 00:19:51,459 In order to enjoy sex, you need to know what you like, right? 454 00:19:51,543 --> 00:19:53,044 What're you thinking? 455 00:19:53,127 --> 00:19:55,588 I'm thinking that we do a shopping trip. 456 00:19:55,797 --> 00:19:56,798 (SQUEALS) 457 00:19:57,048 --> 00:19:58,216 Oh, gotta go. Gonna be late. 458 00:20:01,094 --> 00:20:02,095 MICHELLE: Whoa. 459 00:20:03,012 --> 00:20:04,597 Shit. Shit. Shit. 460 00:20:05,306 --> 00:20:06,307 (POP MUSIC PLAYING) 461 00:20:06,391 --> 00:20:12,605 You can ring my bell Ring my bell... 462 00:20:13,565 --> 00:20:15,233 (GRUNTING) 463 00:20:21,072 --> 00:20:22,073 (GROANS) 464 00:20:23,575 --> 00:20:24,951 - (SCOFFS) - Oh. 465 00:20:26,286 --> 00:20:27,453 - Oh, my God. - MICHELLE: Hey. 466 00:20:27,537 --> 00:20:30,623 - Are you okay? That looked really painful. - (CHUCKLES) 467 00:20:30,748 --> 00:20:33,585 Yeah, yeah, I'm good. No, I'm great. I, um... I just... 468 00:20:33,668 --> 00:20:35,587 I was late for class. It's a little schedule blunder. 469 00:20:35,670 --> 00:20:37,297 It's a pre-calc. It should've said calc calc. (LAUGHS) 470 00:20:37,380 --> 00:20:38,464 Hence, the running. 471 00:20:38,548 --> 00:20:41,426 But you look lost, and as Student Council Vice President, 472 00:20:41,509 --> 00:20:42,844 it's actually my obligation to help you. 473 00:20:42,927 --> 00:20:44,637 Hi. I'm Michelle. 474 00:20:45,805 --> 00:20:48,308 And I'm trying really hard to hide my growing anxiety 475 00:20:48,391 --> 00:20:50,435 about being late for class. (CHUCKLES) 476 00:20:50,518 --> 00:20:52,312 I'm Grant. Just moved here. 477 00:20:52,395 --> 00:20:53,938 Totally lost. 478 00:20:54,022 --> 00:20:56,274 And amused at your growing anxiety. 479 00:20:56,357 --> 00:20:57,400 But you're in luck. 480 00:20:57,484 --> 00:20:58,943 I am also on the way to calculus. 481 00:20:59,027 --> 00:21:01,613 I'd be more than happy to report how you selflessly helped me, 482 00:21:01,696 --> 00:21:02,989 even though it made you late. 483 00:21:03,072 --> 00:21:05,909 And I'll be sure to leave out the part about you, you know, 484 00:21:05,992 --> 00:21:07,160 face-slamming a door. 485 00:21:07,494 --> 00:21:08,495 (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) 486 00:21:12,999 --> 00:21:14,125 Is that a Ben Wa ball? 487 00:21:14,792 --> 00:21:16,085 Yeah. 488 00:21:18,922 --> 00:21:20,965 - Three second rule. - Okay. 489 00:21:21,049 --> 00:21:22,842 - Should we go? - Yeah. 490 00:21:25,261 --> 00:21:28,431 KAYLA: A sweet treat for my sweet treat. 491 00:21:28,890 --> 00:21:31,309 What're you doing? We broke up. Remember? 492 00:21:31,392 --> 00:21:33,311 We had a little squabble. 493 00:21:33,394 --> 00:21:35,104 Pumpkin spice or mocha? 494 00:21:35,188 --> 00:21:36,898 This is real. It's over. 495 00:21:36,981 --> 00:21:39,067 You're just not my lobster. 496 00:21:46,241 --> 00:21:47,242 (SIGHS) 497 00:21:52,205 --> 00:21:53,456 Mind if I join you? 498 00:21:56,251 --> 00:22:00,338 Look. I know this is not in any way my business, 499 00:22:00,421 --> 00:22:02,465 but I couldn't help but overhear. 500 00:22:02,549 --> 00:22:04,008 Oh, God. 501 00:22:04,092 --> 00:22:05,885 Yeah, it's pretty uncomfy. 502 00:22:05,969 --> 00:22:09,639 But I figured it might be a less pathetic moment if you weren't sitting alone 503 00:22:09,722 --> 00:22:12,725 while your ex is still watching. 504 00:22:13,393 --> 00:22:15,061 You really wanna drive him nuts? 505 00:22:15,145 --> 00:22:17,021 Pass me that delicious pumpkin spice. 506 00:22:19,524 --> 00:22:21,442 - Who are you? - I'm Grant. 507 00:22:21,526 --> 00:22:22,944 I'm cheering you up. 508 00:22:23,027 --> 00:22:26,156 - You're trying to steal my coffee. - That's just an added bonus. 509 00:22:30,702 --> 00:22:33,454 - I'm Kayla. - Nice to meet you, Kayla. 510 00:22:33,538 --> 00:22:34,539 Mmm. 511 00:22:35,748 --> 00:22:36,749 (GRANT CLEARS THROAT) 512 00:22:37,458 --> 00:22:38,626 Why'd you give me the mocha one? 513 00:22:38,710 --> 00:22:40,378 You think I'm just gonna give you pumpkin spice? 514 00:22:40,461 --> 00:22:42,422 This shit is seasonal and I don't even know you. 515 00:22:43,089 --> 00:22:44,090 Touché. 516 00:22:44,674 --> 00:22:46,301 (UPBEAT POP MUSIC PLAYING) 517 00:22:46,509 --> 00:22:47,760 Yeah 518 00:22:47,844 --> 00:22:49,345 (ALL SHOUTING) 519 00:22:54,767 --> 00:22:57,812 Let everyone know That the girls run the show 520 00:22:59,063 --> 00:23:01,608 Who wants some? Yeah! 521 00:23:01,691 --> 00:23:05,236 The lights are down low Raise the curtain and go 522 00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:07,572 It's our big night Hey 523 00:23:07,655 --> 00:23:09,532 Our big night Ho 524 00:23:09,616 --> 00:23:11,409 Who the fuck is that? 525 00:23:11,493 --> 00:23:12,660 MEREDITH: Who's the fresh meat? 526 00:23:12,744 --> 00:23:13,912 Yeah, look at that snack. 527 00:23:13,995 --> 00:23:15,163 Nice dick! 528 00:23:15,246 --> 00:23:16,789 STEPHANIE: You spooked him. Ball! 529 00:23:17,457 --> 00:23:19,417 - No way. He's too far. - STEPHANIE: 20 bucks. 530 00:23:19,501 --> 00:23:20,960 - I want some of that. - You're on. 531 00:23:21,044 --> 00:23:22,295 Go on, give me some space. 532 00:23:28,009 --> 00:23:29,093 Wait for it. 533 00:23:30,261 --> 00:23:31,262 (GRUNTS) 534 00:23:32,013 --> 00:23:33,223 - Fuck, yeah! - Oh shit! 535 00:23:33,306 --> 00:23:34,766 - I can't believe she actually made that. - He might be dead. 536 00:23:34,849 --> 00:23:38,478 - You killed the snack! - Venmo me, motherfuckers! 537 00:23:38,561 --> 00:23:42,023 Girls run this Girls run this show 538 00:23:44,234 --> 00:23:47,821 Oh, my God, I... I am so sorry. 539 00:23:49,405 --> 00:23:50,657 Are you okay? 540 00:23:51,699 --> 00:23:53,952 Oh, I think so. 541 00:23:54,035 --> 00:23:55,078 Whoa. 542 00:23:55,161 --> 00:23:58,832 - You good? - Yeah, I think so. 543 00:23:58,915 --> 00:24:01,835 Um, I'm Stephanie. Stephanie Stifler. 544 00:24:01,918 --> 00:24:03,086 I'm Grant. 545 00:24:03,169 --> 00:24:05,672 Uh, your hands are so soft. 546 00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:09,300 - (CHUCKLES) Thank you. - You're welcome. 547 00:24:09,384 --> 00:24:11,594 I'm looking for the boys' lacrosse practice. 548 00:24:11,970 --> 00:24:12,971 Oh. 549 00:24:13,054 --> 00:24:15,390 The boys' practice is on the east field. 550 00:24:15,473 --> 00:24:18,184 - Yeah, I'll walk you. - Uh, it's... It's okay. 551 00:24:20,854 --> 00:24:23,273 - Nice goal, by the way. - It was good, right? 552 00:24:26,609 --> 00:24:27,944 You will be mine. 553 00:24:33,992 --> 00:24:35,577 MICHELLE: Come on. 554 00:24:36,077 --> 00:24:37,370 Oh, my God. 555 00:24:37,453 --> 00:24:39,539 I am very uncomfortable right now. 556 00:24:39,622 --> 00:24:42,750 Okay. Annie, let's just take a deep breath and calm down 557 00:24:42,834 --> 00:24:44,460 and realize that this is just a store. 558 00:24:44,544 --> 00:24:47,422 There's nothing weird or wrong or dirty about this place. 559 00:24:47,505 --> 00:24:49,132 - You come here a lot? - Michelle. 560 00:24:49,215 --> 00:24:50,258 - Hey, Rose. - I guess so. 561 00:24:50,341 --> 00:24:52,510 The new VJ-VAX just came out. 562 00:24:52,594 --> 00:24:55,388 Girl, it's great for your nipples, your tongue, 563 00:24:55,471 --> 00:24:57,390 your clitoris, any sphincter... 564 00:24:57,473 --> 00:24:59,726 She's naming so many different body part words. 565 00:24:59,809 --> 00:25:01,227 Poor thing. You're still allowing yourself 566 00:25:01,311 --> 00:25:03,438 - to be clit-blocked by the patriarchy. - Mmm-hmm. 567 00:25:03,521 --> 00:25:06,065 I'm so sorry. Did I hear you say the VJ-VAX came in? 568 00:25:06,149 --> 00:25:07,233 I've just heard amazing things. 569 00:25:07,317 --> 00:25:08,401 They're all true. 570 00:25:08,485 --> 00:25:09,861 Oh, can I get a demonstration? 571 00:25:11,571 --> 00:25:13,406 - Okay. Come on. - Oh, no. 572 00:25:16,910 --> 00:25:17,911 ANNIE: Oh, dear God. 573 00:25:17,994 --> 00:25:19,746 MICHELLE: Welcome to your sexual awakening. 574 00:25:19,829 --> 00:25:22,165 {\an8}Somewhere on this wall lies the access point to your orgasm. 575 00:25:22,248 --> 00:25:24,834 But, to pick the right toy, I do need a little bit of information. 576 00:25:24,918 --> 00:25:26,419 Are you an innie or an outie? 577 00:25:26,503 --> 00:25:27,545 Am I what? 578 00:25:28,630 --> 00:25:29,672 Okay. 579 00:25:29,756 --> 00:25:32,884 Why don't we use this rubber vagina as a visual aid? 580 00:25:32,967 --> 00:25:35,386 - That's a return, but we cleaned it. - Thanks, Rose. 581 00:25:35,470 --> 00:25:36,804 Okay, do you like this, 582 00:25:36,888 --> 00:25:38,473 - or do you like this? - A. 583 00:25:38,556 --> 00:25:40,767 I'll... I'll... I'll just pick Option A. 584 00:25:40,850 --> 00:25:42,227 Well, that makes a lot of sense. 585 00:25:42,310 --> 00:25:44,270 Most women orgasm through clitoral stimulation. 586 00:25:44,354 --> 00:25:45,814 - Okay. - ELLEN: Actually, did you know that 587 00:25:45,897 --> 00:25:49,734 75% of women never orgasm through intercourse alone? It's a fact. 588 00:25:49,818 --> 00:25:51,194 I'm sorry, ladies, could you just... 589 00:25:51,277 --> 00:25:52,403 You're blocking the good stuff. 590 00:25:52,487 --> 00:25:53,988 - Oh, sorry. - Ooh! 591 00:25:54,489 --> 00:25:56,449 How about this guy? 592 00:25:56,533 --> 00:25:58,910 - (MICHELLE CHUCKLING) - Hello. How are you? 593 00:25:59,619 --> 00:26:01,329 Aw, sweet baby bird. 594 00:26:01,412 --> 00:26:03,164 Let me guess. Is this your first toy? 595 00:26:03,248 --> 00:26:04,999 MICHELLE: Yes, it is her first toy. 596 00:26:05,083 --> 00:26:07,710 That is such a special day in a woman's life. 597 00:26:08,044 --> 00:26:09,671 Oh, sweetheart. 598 00:26:09,754 --> 00:26:12,006 I remember my first like it was yesterday. 599 00:26:12,090 --> 00:26:13,633 The Muscle Massager 5000. 600 00:26:14,217 --> 00:26:15,677 {\an8}Still a bestseller. 601 00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:17,929 Mmm, that thing was squirt-tastic. 602 00:26:18,972 --> 00:26:22,851 {\an8}But nothing compares to this gem right here. 603 00:26:23,893 --> 00:26:26,354 Three vibrating stimulators, 604 00:26:26,771 --> 00:26:29,607 curved tip to help you find that elusive G-spot. 605 00:26:29,691 --> 00:26:31,484 Spoiler alert, it's in the front. 606 00:26:31,568 --> 00:26:33,570 There's a rabbit for your itty-bitty clitty. 607 00:26:33,653 --> 00:26:35,989 And if you pee a little bit, don't worry, it's waterproof. 608 00:26:36,072 --> 00:26:39,117 I mean, it is a beautiful time to be alive, ladies. Am I right? 609 00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:40,326 - Yeah. - Right. 610 00:26:40,410 --> 00:26:42,871 Wait. Call off the dogs. The search is off. 611 00:26:42,954 --> 00:26:44,205 I found it. 612 00:26:44,747 --> 00:26:47,125 These black lacy panties are perfect. 613 00:26:47,208 --> 00:26:49,210 They're discreet. They're non-invasive. 614 00:26:49,294 --> 00:26:50,795 I agree. Those are perfect. 615 00:26:50,879 --> 00:26:54,215 And I'm so excited for the journey that you're about to embark on. 616 00:26:54,632 --> 00:26:57,552 Godspeed, little bird. Godspeed. 617 00:27:00,555 --> 00:27:01,556 Wow. 618 00:27:01,639 --> 00:27:03,141 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 619 00:27:03,224 --> 00:27:05,351 - What? Relax. - Relax? 620 00:27:05,435 --> 00:27:08,104 That super-weird but strangely helpful woman 621 00:27:08,188 --> 00:27:10,315 just picked out a vibrating undergarment for me. 622 00:27:10,398 --> 00:27:11,983 She's not weird. She's a goddess. 623 00:27:12,066 --> 00:27:14,611 And who cares? You're never gonna see her again. 624 00:27:14,694 --> 00:27:15,945 Let's go. 625 00:27:18,406 --> 00:27:19,407 Oh. 626 00:27:19,491 --> 00:27:21,493 - Hey, honey. - Hey, Dad. 627 00:27:21,576 --> 00:27:24,162 - Big test. Gotta study. - You have a test already? 628 00:27:26,706 --> 00:27:27,707 Wow. 629 00:27:27,832 --> 00:27:30,668 Must be some kind of accelerated school. 630 00:27:34,672 --> 00:27:35,673 (SIGHS) 631 00:27:52,398 --> 00:27:53,608 (CLICKS) 632 00:27:53,691 --> 00:27:54,901 (VIBRATING) 633 00:27:57,779 --> 00:28:00,698 Oh, my God. 634 00:28:01,991 --> 00:28:03,201 (DOORBELL RINGS) 635 00:28:05,245 --> 00:28:06,246 Hi. 636 00:28:06,329 --> 00:28:09,415 Uh, I just moved in next door and I wanted to introduce myself. 637 00:28:09,499 --> 00:28:13,503 I'm Ellen and... Oh, come here, hon. This is my son, Grant. 638 00:28:14,045 --> 00:28:15,171 I made you a pie. 639 00:28:17,048 --> 00:28:18,883 - Come in. - Thank you. (CHUCKLES) 640 00:28:18,967 --> 00:28:21,886 JASON: Babe, I... I got... I gotta get to class. 641 00:28:22,345 --> 00:28:25,098 You don't have time to knock one out? 642 00:28:25,181 --> 00:28:27,809 Are you... Are you saying you wanna have cybersex? 643 00:28:27,892 --> 00:28:30,019 Because, uh, yeah, that would... 644 00:28:30,103 --> 00:28:31,896 That would... That would be dope. 645 00:28:31,980 --> 00:28:35,150 I bought something for us. 646 00:28:35,650 --> 00:28:38,778 So I just thought I'd make this for you and your... Your wife. 647 00:28:38,862 --> 00:28:40,405 No wife, sadly. Divorced. 648 00:28:40,488 --> 00:28:42,991 - It's just me and my daughter. - What a coincidence. 649 00:28:43,491 --> 00:28:45,285 - Me, too. - Oh. 650 00:28:45,493 --> 00:28:47,704 What do ya say we dig into this delicious pie? 651 00:28:47,787 --> 00:28:48,788 Apple? 652 00:28:49,038 --> 00:28:50,039 Cherry. 653 00:28:50,123 --> 00:28:51,124 KEVIN: Mmm. 654 00:28:51,291 --> 00:28:52,542 ELLEN: Still hot. 655 00:28:53,626 --> 00:28:55,879 Oh, come on. Oh, you gotta... You gotta show me. 656 00:28:55,962 --> 00:28:57,505 You gotta show me. Please? 657 00:28:57,589 --> 00:28:58,923 - Please. - (SIGHS) 658 00:28:59,007 --> 00:29:00,341 Okay. Just a peek. 659 00:29:01,885 --> 00:29:03,344 Oh, damn it! 660 00:29:03,428 --> 00:29:06,181 - Ugh! Uh, my Wi-Fi sucks. - (CHUCKLES) 661 00:29:06,264 --> 00:29:10,477 Okay, all you need to know is that they're tiny and lacy, 662 00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:13,271 and they have a remote control. 663 00:29:14,397 --> 00:29:16,691 You control your panties with that? 664 00:29:16,774 --> 00:29:20,778 Oh, nice. Oh, you got... Turn it on. Mmm-hmm. 665 00:29:21,821 --> 00:29:22,822 (VIBRATING) 666 00:29:23,281 --> 00:29:24,282 (MOANS) 667 00:29:25,950 --> 00:29:27,660 - Oh, wow. - (MUFFLED) Oh. 668 00:29:27,869 --> 00:29:29,162 It's so good. 669 00:29:29,245 --> 00:29:30,955 That is so good. 670 00:29:31,039 --> 00:29:33,041 - (ANNIE MOANING) - Mmm. 671 00:29:33,124 --> 00:29:34,584 I'm so glad that you like it. 672 00:29:35,084 --> 00:29:38,421 Oh, I like it. I like it a lot. 673 00:29:39,756 --> 00:29:41,007 Oh, shit. 674 00:29:41,090 --> 00:29:43,343 Oh, I've never heard you cuss before. 675 00:29:43,968 --> 00:29:45,887 I like it. Can you... Can you cuss again? 676 00:29:45,970 --> 00:29:48,306 ANNIE: Holy fuck. 677 00:29:48,556 --> 00:29:49,766 (ELLEN CHUCKLES) 678 00:29:51,434 --> 00:29:52,519 (ANNIE MOANING) 679 00:29:53,686 --> 00:29:54,729 ELLEN: Mmm. 680 00:29:54,813 --> 00:29:55,814 Hmm. 681 00:29:55,897 --> 00:30:00,276 So, Kevin, how long have you been divorced? 682 00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:01,444 Long time. 683 00:30:03,988 --> 00:30:06,825 Such a long time. 684 00:30:06,908 --> 00:30:10,286 Okay. You know, this has been great, but I have a big test tomorrow. 685 00:30:10,370 --> 00:30:11,788 - I gotta go study for it, so... - Oh. 686 00:30:11,871 --> 00:30:14,958 I bet Annie's studying for the same test. 687 00:30:15,041 --> 00:30:16,876 - (ANNIE MOANS) - JASON: Whoo. 688 00:30:17,544 --> 00:30:19,504 Okay. Whoa. (CHUCKLES) 689 00:30:19,587 --> 00:30:21,673 - Oh, shit. - Fantastic. 690 00:30:21,798 --> 00:30:23,383 - (MOANING) - KEVIN: You go to East Great Falls? 691 00:30:23,466 --> 00:30:26,177 Actually we both do. I'm the new principal. 692 00:30:26,594 --> 00:30:27,595 Huh. 693 00:30:27,679 --> 00:30:28,680 No way. 694 00:30:28,763 --> 00:30:29,764 You know what? 695 00:30:30,306 --> 00:30:33,143 Annie loves a surprise. We should go up and say hi to her. 696 00:30:33,226 --> 00:30:34,811 Holy fuck. 697 00:30:34,894 --> 00:30:35,895 Whoo! 698 00:30:36,062 --> 00:30:37,063 Oh, shit. 699 00:30:37,647 --> 00:30:38,815 Oh, I'm gonna pop. 700 00:30:38,898 --> 00:30:40,316 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) Hey, honey, you busy? 701 00:30:41,359 --> 00:30:43,027 - No! Hey! - (JASON MOANS LOUDLY) 702 00:30:43,111 --> 00:30:45,196 - Just... Just chillin'. - KEVIN: Well, great. 703 00:30:45,280 --> 00:30:48,074 Because I want to introduce you to your new principal. 704 00:30:48,158 --> 00:30:49,450 This is Miss Fisher. 705 00:30:50,994 --> 00:30:52,745 - Huh. - Hi. 706 00:30:52,829 --> 00:30:54,330 I'm gonna pop! 707 00:30:54,414 --> 00:30:57,000 Oh, I'm popping! I'm popping! 708 00:30:57,500 --> 00:30:58,710 - Oh, I'm gonna pop. - It's been giving me trouble all day. 709 00:30:58,793 --> 00:31:00,545 Just noises coming out of there. 710 00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:03,798 You know, funny story. Annie and I have actually already met. 711 00:31:04,340 --> 00:31:05,842 - At the library. - Oh, yeah. 712 00:31:05,925 --> 00:31:09,179 I was checking out Moby Dick and she had a cute little romance novel. 713 00:31:09,262 --> 00:31:10,388 How is that going for you? 714 00:31:10,471 --> 00:31:12,974 It's so good. 715 00:31:13,057 --> 00:31:14,225 - Good to hear. - Yeah. 716 00:31:14,309 --> 00:31:17,145 You know, I wanna introduce you to my son, Grant. 717 00:31:17,228 --> 00:31:18,730 - Isn't he handsome? - (ANNIE CHUCKLES) 718 00:31:19,189 --> 00:31:21,024 - Nice to meet you. - (VIBRATION ACCELERATING) 719 00:31:21,441 --> 00:31:24,360 - Oh... - I'm Grant. Nice to meet you, too. 720 00:31:26,279 --> 00:31:28,364 You guys hear that? It's like a hum... 721 00:31:29,282 --> 00:31:30,283 ELLEN: Mmm... 722 00:31:30,742 --> 00:31:32,785 No, I'm not... I don't... I don't hear anything. 723 00:31:33,328 --> 00:31:35,288 (ANNIE CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) 724 00:31:35,371 --> 00:31:37,290 (SOFTLY) Annie. You okay? 725 00:31:37,373 --> 00:31:39,751 - ANNIE: Oh, I'm... - You know what I think would be good? 726 00:31:39,834 --> 00:31:41,753 I think it would be great if we went downstairs 727 00:31:41,836 --> 00:31:43,880 - and got Annie a hot piece of pie. - Oh! 728 00:31:43,963 --> 00:31:45,381 Oh, God, yes! 729 00:31:45,465 --> 00:31:49,135 Great. You know, sometimes a girl just needs something simple. 730 00:31:49,219 --> 00:31:50,428 - (VIBRATION STOPS) - Am I right, honey? 731 00:31:50,512 --> 00:31:52,889 Here, why don't you give me a tour? Let's start with your bedroom. 732 00:31:53,264 --> 00:31:54,265 (EXHALES HEAVILY) 733 00:31:59,771 --> 00:32:00,897 (VIBRATING) 734 00:32:02,023 --> 00:32:03,024 (VIBRATION STOPS) 735 00:32:04,067 --> 00:32:05,401 - It's very high tech. - Mmm. 736 00:32:07,028 --> 00:32:08,780 - Nice to meet you, Annie. - Mmm-hmm. 737 00:32:09,447 --> 00:32:10,448 Yeah. 738 00:32:14,994 --> 00:32:15,995 (SIGHS) 739 00:32:17,455 --> 00:32:20,416 EMMETT: This year's Homecoming theme is so exciting. 740 00:32:20,500 --> 00:32:25,505 So come as you dream, because we are having a Pajama Party... 741 00:32:25,588 --> 00:32:26,756 {\an8}MORP! Whoop whoop! 742 00:32:26,840 --> 00:32:28,508 That's "prom" spelled backwards. 743 00:32:28,591 --> 00:32:32,011 Uh, instead of tuxedos and gowns, put on your PJs and onesies! 744 00:32:32,095 --> 00:32:33,346 That's crazy! 745 00:32:33,429 --> 00:32:36,391 Now, I have the super important responsibility 746 00:32:36,474 --> 00:32:38,434 of introducing our new leader, 747 00:32:38,518 --> 00:32:40,728 Principal Ellen Fisher. 748 00:32:41,062 --> 00:32:42,981 - ELLEN: Aw, thanks, Emmett. - (EMMETT CLAPPING) 749 00:32:43,189 --> 00:32:44,190 Hello. 750 00:32:44,274 --> 00:32:46,943 I bet you're pretty surprised to see me here in this position. 751 00:32:47,026 --> 00:32:48,194 - Well, guess what? - Holy shit. 752 00:32:48,278 --> 00:32:49,320 I'm surprised, too. 753 00:32:49,988 --> 00:32:51,322 It is her. You're right. 754 00:32:51,698 --> 00:32:52,699 I told you. 755 00:32:53,658 --> 00:32:55,577 You said I'd never see her again. 756 00:32:55,660 --> 00:32:57,078 But I did. 757 00:32:57,495 --> 00:33:00,039 An hour later, in my bedroom, 758 00:33:00,123 --> 00:33:02,208 when I was using a recently-purchased item. 759 00:33:03,418 --> 00:33:05,253 Ew, God. Private conversation. 760 00:33:05,336 --> 00:33:09,924 A strong, accomplished woman who's very comfortable with her sexuality? 761 00:33:10,425 --> 00:33:12,760 She's, like, the perfect role model. 762 00:33:12,844 --> 00:33:14,971 - (ELLEN CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY) - (SIGHS) 763 00:33:16,514 --> 00:33:20,935 ELLEN: It seems that Principal Shankman retired, rather abruptly. 764 00:33:21,019 --> 00:33:24,355 But I know we all wish him very, very well. 765 00:33:24,439 --> 00:33:27,317 So you guys, have a great day. 766 00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:28,693 Go, Trademakers! 767 00:33:29,027 --> 00:33:31,112 - Uh, trailblazers. - Trailblazers. I know. 768 00:33:31,196 --> 00:33:32,697 Go, Trailblazers! (CHUCKLES) 769 00:33:32,780 --> 00:33:33,781 (BELL RINGS) 770 00:33:36,701 --> 00:33:37,994 (OBJECTS CLATTERING) 771 00:33:38,077 --> 00:33:39,162 - Hey, you. - (GASPS) 772 00:33:39,704 --> 00:33:42,248 Hi. Kayla, right? 773 00:33:42,332 --> 00:33:43,416 (LAUGHING LOUDLY) 774 00:33:45,293 --> 00:33:46,461 I got your favorite. 775 00:33:46,711 --> 00:33:48,796 Wow! Thank you. Mmm. 776 00:33:49,714 --> 00:33:51,216 It really does taste like fall. 777 00:33:51,633 --> 00:33:52,926 (LAUGHING LOUDLY) 778 00:33:53,426 --> 00:33:55,303 Oh, it so does. 779 00:33:56,137 --> 00:33:57,180 - You're so funny. - Uh... 780 00:33:57,263 --> 00:33:59,390 I'm just gonna head to class. (CHUCKLES) 781 00:33:59,474 --> 00:34:01,893 Thank you, again, very much. 782 00:34:04,562 --> 00:34:05,563 Mmm. 783 00:34:07,315 --> 00:34:09,609 Hey. Who's that guy? 784 00:34:10,192 --> 00:34:11,694 Who is, uh... Oh! 785 00:34:12,069 --> 00:34:14,113 That guy. That's Grant. 786 00:34:14,697 --> 00:34:15,698 My friend. 787 00:34:15,781 --> 00:34:17,158 My special friend. 788 00:34:17,241 --> 00:34:19,410 We just broke up three days ago. 789 00:34:19,493 --> 00:34:22,038 Tim, are you jealous? 790 00:34:22,121 --> 00:34:24,499 That is so cute. (SIGHS) 791 00:34:24,582 --> 00:34:27,252 You know, if you ever wanted me to drop by... 792 00:34:27,710 --> 00:34:28,710 TIM: Uh... 793 00:34:28,795 --> 00:34:30,964 We're not getting back together. 794 00:34:31,089 --> 00:34:32,089 Oh. 795 00:34:32,172 --> 00:34:34,592 Back together? (WINCES) Who wants that? 796 00:34:34,676 --> 00:34:35,718 (CHUCKLES) 797 00:34:35,802 --> 00:34:37,971 No, I'm just talking about a little ex sex. 798 00:34:38,971 --> 00:34:40,056 Ex sex? 799 00:34:40,139 --> 00:34:42,350 How many times did we sneak off during lunch 800 00:34:42,433 --> 00:34:43,893 and go do it at your place? 801 00:34:43,977 --> 00:34:45,435 What's a few more? 802 00:34:46,520 --> 00:34:49,274 Oh, I mean, if you don't want to, I, you know... 803 00:34:49,357 --> 00:34:51,651 I think I have plans with Grant anyway. So... 804 00:34:51,734 --> 00:34:53,278 Uh, lunchtime. 805 00:34:53,944 --> 00:34:54,946 My place. 806 00:35:00,368 --> 00:35:01,578 BOY: So, you guys getting back together? 807 00:35:02,245 --> 00:35:03,830 That's how a bad bitch does it. 808 00:35:08,793 --> 00:35:10,503 She was holding my spot. Yeah. 809 00:35:13,381 --> 00:35:14,382 Hi. 810 00:35:15,341 --> 00:35:16,509 Remember me? 811 00:35:16,593 --> 00:35:18,178 - No. - Sure you do. 812 00:35:18,261 --> 00:35:21,181 Yesterday, your room, you were pleasuring yourself. 813 00:35:21,472 --> 00:35:22,473 (ANNIE SHUSHING) 814 00:35:22,557 --> 00:35:24,684 Gross, don't say it like that. 815 00:35:25,268 --> 00:35:26,603 Well, how should I say it? 816 00:35:26,686 --> 00:35:28,438 Just don't say it. 817 00:35:28,521 --> 00:35:30,148 Ever. To anyone. 818 00:35:30,231 --> 00:35:33,526 Okay. I won't. 'Cause it's nobody's business. 819 00:35:33,610 --> 00:35:34,861 - Fries, please. - Right. 820 00:35:35,612 --> 00:35:38,323 You know what, to tell you the truth, though, I found the whole thing kind of... 821 00:35:38,406 --> 00:35:40,325 I don't know, endearing. 822 00:35:40,783 --> 00:35:41,784 (SNICKERS) 823 00:35:42,827 --> 00:35:44,037 I have a boyfriend. 824 00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:47,665 No, I know. I didn't get to meet him, but he sounded really nice. 825 00:35:47,749 --> 00:35:49,375 - WOMAN: Eggplant taco? - Yeah. Please. Thank you. 826 00:35:49,459 --> 00:35:53,713 Look, just because you barged into my room while I was having a private moment 827 00:35:53,796 --> 00:35:57,175 with the love of my life, doesn't mean you know me. 828 00:35:57,258 --> 00:35:58,343 I'm sorry. 829 00:35:58,426 --> 00:36:03,223 The "I'm about to pop, I'm popping" guy, that's the love of your life? 830 00:36:03,932 --> 00:36:04,933 (CHUCKLES) 831 00:36:05,642 --> 00:36:08,812 I am in a mature, committed relationship 832 00:36:08,895 --> 00:36:11,064 and if I told Jason the things you are saying... 833 00:36:11,147 --> 00:36:13,650 Oh, you wouldn't be too happy, pal. 834 00:36:13,733 --> 00:36:16,569 Okay. Got it. Pal. 835 00:36:17,278 --> 00:36:20,824 Look, I wish you and your Internet lover a lifetime of happiness. 836 00:36:21,866 --> 00:36:22,867 Enjoy your lunch. 837 00:36:23,952 --> 00:36:25,245 Thank you. 838 00:36:28,331 --> 00:36:29,332 (SIGHS) 839 00:36:30,291 --> 00:36:31,876 You're good at talking to boys. 840 00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:34,170 How do you start? I'm having trouble with my opening. 841 00:36:35,672 --> 00:36:38,091 Well, the damsel-in-distress shit usually works like a charm. 842 00:36:38,716 --> 00:36:41,386 (CHUCKLES) Well, I am not doing that. 843 00:36:41,469 --> 00:36:42,971 Girl, it's amazing how dumb men can get 844 00:36:43,054 --> 00:36:45,390 when they think we actually need them, so... 845 00:36:45,473 --> 00:36:46,599 GRANT: Emmett, what up, man? 846 00:36:47,767 --> 00:36:48,977 STEPHANIE: Hello, sexy. 847 00:36:51,229 --> 00:36:53,231 Okay, why is my wet dream hugging Emmett? 848 00:36:54,774 --> 00:36:55,775 Wait. 849 00:36:56,818 --> 00:36:58,444 You don't actually like Grant, right? 850 00:36:58,528 --> 00:36:59,904 I mean, he's not your type. 851 00:36:59,988 --> 00:37:02,282 What could you two possibly have in common? 852 00:37:02,365 --> 00:37:04,450 Undeniable animal magnetism, baby. 853 00:37:04,784 --> 00:37:07,370 Um, I have to go to, uh... I have a library... 854 00:37:07,453 --> 00:37:08,663 I need to go to the... I have a book. 855 00:37:08,746 --> 00:37:09,914 I gotta... Bye. I'll see you later. 856 00:37:09,998 --> 00:37:11,708 - See ya. - Text me. 857 00:37:11,791 --> 00:37:13,793 MICHELLE: Mmm-hmm. Damsel in distress. 858 00:37:13,877 --> 00:37:15,503 Damsel in distress. Damsel in distress. 859 00:37:16,004 --> 00:37:17,380 That way. 860 00:38:01,299 --> 00:38:02,467 Oh, shit! 861 00:38:06,221 --> 00:38:07,222 - Whoa! - (GROANS) 862 00:38:07,805 --> 00:38:08,806 Ah... 863 00:38:08,890 --> 00:38:10,517 GRANT: You, again. 864 00:38:10,600 --> 00:38:11,684 You okay? 865 00:38:11,976 --> 00:38:13,144 (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) 866 00:38:14,103 --> 00:38:15,188 {\an8}MICHELLE: Yeah. 867 00:38:15,438 --> 00:38:16,439 Whoa. 868 00:38:16,523 --> 00:38:18,733 - Hi. - Hi. 869 00:38:19,234 --> 00:38:23,655 I'm just so fragile and delicate. 870 00:38:24,364 --> 00:38:25,365 Okay. 871 00:38:25,448 --> 00:38:26,449 Wow. 872 00:38:27,116 --> 00:38:30,495 Your neck is very muscly. 873 00:38:30,578 --> 00:38:32,205 - Thank you. - Mmm-hmm. 874 00:38:32,288 --> 00:38:34,958 I think maybe we should get you some medical attention. 875 00:38:35,041 --> 00:38:36,626 - Okay. - Okay. 876 00:38:39,838 --> 00:38:41,130 Mind if I join you? 877 00:38:41,673 --> 00:38:42,674 Hey. 878 00:38:43,049 --> 00:38:45,718 What? Uh, no. Why? 879 00:38:45,802 --> 00:38:47,762 Oh, come on. We don't even talk anymore. 880 00:38:47,846 --> 00:38:49,764 Yeah. Not since fifth grade, 881 00:38:49,848 --> 00:38:52,892 when you told everyone I wet my pants at recess. 882 00:38:53,601 --> 00:38:54,644 But you did. 883 00:38:55,061 --> 00:38:56,771 No, it was a malfunctioning water fountain. 884 00:38:56,855 --> 00:38:57,897 Oh, right. Okay. 885 00:38:57,981 --> 00:38:59,732 Look, I'm reading, all right? 886 00:38:59,816 --> 00:39:02,068 And I know this isn't a practice you're familiar with, 887 00:39:02,152 --> 00:39:03,695 but it's a nonverbal cue 888 00:39:03,778 --> 00:39:07,073 which says I'm enjoying some solitary time, so, maybe don't bother me. 889 00:39:07,157 --> 00:39:10,076 Okay, well I kind of feel bad about the whole wetting-the-pants thing, now. 890 00:39:10,743 --> 00:39:11,786 Yeah, you should. 891 00:39:14,414 --> 00:39:16,207 Hey, the guy you were talking to, Grant. 892 00:39:17,167 --> 00:39:18,251 You guys friends? 893 00:39:18,501 --> 00:39:21,963 Uh, we've only been roommates at band camp the last seven summers, 894 00:39:22,046 --> 00:39:23,047 so, uh, yeah. 895 00:39:23,131 --> 00:39:25,300 - Yeah, we're friends. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. Grant's in band? 896 00:39:25,383 --> 00:39:26,384 No shit. 897 00:39:26,467 --> 00:39:29,012 Yeah. He's an incredibly talented saxophone player. 898 00:39:29,095 --> 00:39:30,388 - Boring. - No. 899 00:39:30,471 --> 00:39:34,017 Sax is the sexiest wind instrument. So it's not boring. 900 00:39:34,100 --> 00:39:36,895 Okay. What are his hobbies? What's he like? 901 00:39:36,978 --> 00:39:39,397 Okay, you haven't spoken to me in like nine years, 902 00:39:39,481 --> 00:39:42,525 so why don't you go ask Grant these questions? 903 00:39:42,609 --> 00:39:44,486 Okay, look, Emmett, I'm kinda turning over a new leaf. 904 00:39:45,111 --> 00:39:48,698 I'm looking to date a different type, someone nice. 905 00:39:48,781 --> 00:39:51,159 And anyway, my charms of seduction don't seem to be working on him, 906 00:39:51,242 --> 00:39:53,661 so I was thinking that, I don't know, you'd help me out. 907 00:39:53,745 --> 00:39:57,290 You want me to help trick my good friend Grant into liking you? 908 00:39:57,665 --> 00:39:58,708 Yeah, that's pretty much it. 909 00:39:58,833 --> 00:39:59,834 Hmm. 910 00:40:00,001 --> 00:40:02,879 Just so he can be another notch on your lipstick case? 911 00:40:02,962 --> 00:40:05,673 Okay, news flash. I don't have a lipstick case. 912 00:40:05,757 --> 00:40:07,884 And neither does anyone under the age of 80, so... 913 00:40:07,967 --> 00:40:09,844 Look, dude, are you gonna help me or what? 914 00:40:10,261 --> 00:40:12,013 (SCOFFS) Well, I foresee a couple of problems. 915 00:40:12,096 --> 00:40:13,097 What? 916 00:40:13,181 --> 00:40:16,059 Well, Grant, he's got this whole good taste thing. 917 00:40:16,142 --> 00:40:18,019 Yeah, and then... And then there's my integrity. 918 00:40:18,102 --> 00:40:23,066 I'm reluctant to help trick my friend into a romance with a dementor. 919 00:40:23,483 --> 00:40:24,484 (CHUCKLES) 920 00:40:25,610 --> 00:40:26,611 What's that? 921 00:40:26,694 --> 00:40:29,322 Dark creatures that consume human happiness. 922 00:40:29,405 --> 00:40:30,532 It's from Harry Potter. 923 00:40:30,615 --> 00:40:32,784 Wow, you are such a fucking nerd. 924 00:40:36,329 --> 00:40:37,622 Look, I'll give you 20 bucks. 925 00:40:39,374 --> 00:40:41,501 How dare you? You know, this guy's a friend. 926 00:40:41,584 --> 00:40:43,920 It's $100 minimum. 927 00:40:47,131 --> 00:40:48,341 Better be worth it. 928 00:40:49,592 --> 00:40:51,219 Hey, I think we need a nurse. 929 00:40:51,302 --> 00:40:53,555 Injured student. Code Blue! 930 00:40:53,721 --> 00:40:54,722 Huh? 931 00:40:54,806 --> 00:40:55,807 No... 932 00:40:55,890 --> 00:40:57,725 No, no, no. No Code Blue. I'm fine. Really, I'm fine. 933 00:40:57,809 --> 00:40:58,935 Grant, what happened? Are you okay? 934 00:40:59,018 --> 00:41:00,019 I've got this, Principal Fisher. 935 00:41:00,103 --> 00:41:01,396 Grant, put her in this chair, all right? I'll get her to the nurse. 936 00:41:01,479 --> 00:41:03,565 - Here we go. You're good. - No, no, no. I... 937 00:41:03,648 --> 00:41:04,941 - Hey, take good care of her. - Good work. 938 00:41:05,024 --> 00:41:06,276 - But, uh... - Oh, my God, 939 00:41:06,359 --> 00:41:07,986 - your hair smells so beautiful. - (STUTTERS) 940 00:41:08,778 --> 00:41:09,779 (MICHELLE SIGHS) 941 00:41:09,863 --> 00:41:11,531 Seriously, it's fine. You don't have to push me. 942 00:41:11,614 --> 00:41:13,867 No, no, no, we're not taking any chances here, all right? 943 00:41:13,950 --> 00:41:15,660 Not with the Academic Decathlon captain. 944 00:41:15,743 --> 00:41:17,287 We need you this weekend against Parkway High. 945 00:41:17,370 --> 00:41:19,998 - You watch the Academic Decathlon? - Of course. 946 00:41:20,081 --> 00:41:22,500 Are you the guy that's always holding up signs and cheering? 947 00:41:22,584 --> 00:41:24,794 Yeah. Yeah, that's me. Oliver. 948 00:41:24,878 --> 00:41:26,713 Ollie, if you're nasty. 949 00:41:26,796 --> 00:41:28,339 Okay, I'm gonna ignore that last part. 950 00:41:28,423 --> 00:41:31,259 Listen, Principal Fisher and her son, are they close? 951 00:41:31,342 --> 00:41:33,052 Yeah. Yeah. Real modern family. 952 00:41:33,136 --> 00:41:34,554 Single mom, only child. 953 00:41:35,054 --> 00:41:37,098 And you're her student aide. 954 00:41:37,182 --> 00:41:38,933 Do you need any help in the office? 955 00:41:39,017 --> 00:41:40,059 OLIVER: Yes! 956 00:41:40,143 --> 00:41:41,144 MICHELLE: Great. 957 00:41:41,728 --> 00:41:42,937 (BOTH MOANING) 958 00:41:43,021 --> 00:41:44,189 (WASHING MACHINE WHIRRING) 959 00:41:46,065 --> 00:41:47,066 (THUDS) 960 00:41:49,694 --> 00:41:50,904 (BOTH PANTING) 961 00:41:51,529 --> 00:41:52,864 (WASHING MACHINE STOPS WHIRRING) 962 00:41:52,947 --> 00:41:53,948 Wow. 963 00:41:54,032 --> 00:41:55,533 - That was... - Yum. 964 00:41:55,617 --> 00:41:58,411 - That was, um... (GRUNTS) Different. - Oh. 965 00:41:58,495 --> 00:42:00,455 - Um... - I like. 966 00:42:01,873 --> 00:42:03,041 Yeah. 967 00:42:03,124 --> 00:42:08,671 Yeah, something about the, uh, impulsive nature of our meeting 968 00:42:08,755 --> 00:42:11,966 made me feel a little wild. Didn't it? 969 00:42:12,300 --> 00:42:13,593 Oh, yeah. 970 00:42:13,676 --> 00:42:16,471 Casual hookups, no strings, no emotions. 971 00:42:16,554 --> 00:42:17,889 I am so good. 972 00:42:18,348 --> 00:42:20,183 Whoo. I'm gonna head out. 973 00:42:20,266 --> 00:42:21,684 Wait. You don't have to go yet. 974 00:42:21,768 --> 00:42:25,188 Oh, no. Super fun frolic. Bang ya later. Maybe not. Who knows? 975 00:42:25,271 --> 00:42:26,606 Gotta go back to school. 976 00:42:39,953 --> 00:42:43,206 Oh, so you just happened to be in the library during your free period? 977 00:42:43,706 --> 00:42:46,167 - Well, that's one way to say hello. - Sorry. 978 00:42:46,251 --> 00:42:48,837 Hi, Grant. I'm afraid now is not a good time 979 00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:50,296 to inappropriately flirt with me, 980 00:42:50,380 --> 00:42:52,674 not only because I have a boyfriend, 981 00:42:52,757 --> 00:42:56,970 but also because my fascist French teacher also decided he likes daily pop quizzes. 982 00:42:57,053 --> 00:42:59,889 So I guess I'll be spending my free periods learning French. 983 00:42:59,973 --> 00:43:02,725 Damn. You're really feeling yourself, huh? 984 00:43:02,809 --> 00:43:05,103 I'm just sitting here, minding my business. 985 00:43:05,186 --> 00:43:06,729 Oh, so you're not gonna flirt with me? 986 00:43:06,813 --> 00:43:08,106 I mean, I'm not, now. 987 00:43:08,189 --> 00:43:09,816 Took all the fun out of it. 988 00:43:09,899 --> 00:43:10,900 (SIGHS) 989 00:43:12,026 --> 00:43:13,027 All right, wait. 990 00:43:13,111 --> 00:43:16,072 I get it. Okay. You have a boyfriend. 991 00:43:16,156 --> 00:43:17,157 I'm sorry. 992 00:43:17,615 --> 00:43:21,578 It's just fun seeing you get all flustered and worked up. 993 00:43:22,245 --> 00:43:24,122 You know, I actually speak French. 994 00:43:24,664 --> 00:43:26,916 I'd be more than happy to help you prep for the quizzes. 995 00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:29,836 Just friends. Study buddies. 996 00:43:29,919 --> 00:43:32,130 All right, no funny business. 997 00:43:32,213 --> 00:43:33,548 Truth is, I'm kind of lonely. 998 00:43:33,631 --> 00:43:35,717 I mean, I don't know anyone at this school. 999 00:43:35,800 --> 00:43:38,219 You'd be doing me a favor, seriously. 1000 00:43:38,636 --> 00:43:40,388 You really speak French? 1001 00:43:40,471 --> 00:43:41,723 Oui, oui. 1002 00:43:41,848 --> 00:43:42,849 (CHUCKLES) 1003 00:43:44,559 --> 00:43:45,768 Fine. 1004 00:43:50,565 --> 00:43:51,733 Just study buddies. 1005 00:43:51,816 --> 00:43:52,817 Of course. 1006 00:43:55,028 --> 00:43:57,030 (UPBEAT POP SONG PLAYING) 1007 00:44:05,330 --> 00:44:07,707 A goddess on a mountain top 1008 00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:11,377 Was burning like a silver flame 1009 00:44:12,754 --> 00:44:15,215 The summit of beauty and love 1010 00:44:16,299 --> 00:44:18,176 And Venus was her name 1011 00:44:20,053 --> 00:44:21,179 She's got it 1012 00:44:22,680 --> 00:44:24,641 Yeah, baby, she's got it 1013 00:44:28,061 --> 00:44:30,021 I'm your Venus 1014 00:44:30,104 --> 00:44:32,899 I'm your fire At your desire 1015 00:44:35,068 --> 00:44:37,612 Well, I'm your Venus 1016 00:44:37,695 --> 00:44:40,698 I'm your fire At your desire 1017 00:44:42,826 --> 00:44:45,995 Her weapons were her crystal eyes 1018 00:44:46,704 --> 00:44:49,165 Making every man mad 1019 00:44:50,083 --> 00:44:53,211 Black as the dark night she was 1020 00:44:53,294 --> 00:44:56,005 Got what no one else has 1021 00:44:57,799 --> 00:44:58,883 She's got it 1022 00:45:00,176 --> 00:45:02,220 Yeah, baby, she's got it 1023 00:45:05,890 --> 00:45:07,559 I'm your Venus 1024 00:45:07,642 --> 00:45:10,812 I'm your fire At your desire 1025 00:45:12,522 --> 00:45:14,858 Well, I'm your Venus 1026 00:45:14,941 --> 00:45:18,027 I'm your fire At your desire 1027 00:45:30,165 --> 00:45:32,458 Yeah, baby, she's got it 1028 00:45:33,960 --> 00:45:36,254 Yeah, baby, she's got it 1029 00:45:37,714 --> 00:45:39,215 She's got it 1030 00:45:39,299 --> 00:45:43,052 This whole walk home I've been putting off asking you to my mom's party. 1031 00:45:43,136 --> 00:45:45,054 You know, teachers, old people, 1032 00:45:45,138 --> 00:45:46,347 - total rager. - (CHUCKLES) 1033 00:45:46,431 --> 00:45:49,726 And it's Saturday afternoon, as if it's for a child, so, even better. 1034 00:45:49,809 --> 00:45:53,229 Uh, as fun as that sounds, I... 1035 00:45:53,313 --> 00:45:57,317 See, that excitement level was exactly why I put this off until the end of our walk. 1036 00:45:57,400 --> 00:46:00,320 But lucky for me, your dad's totally gonna make you go, anyway. 1037 00:46:00,403 --> 00:46:02,989 Yeah, I think him and my mom, like, have something going on. 1038 00:46:03,072 --> 00:46:05,992 (CHUCKLES) Ew. Anyways, see you at the party. 1039 00:46:06,409 --> 00:46:07,702 Wait. What? 1040 00:46:08,328 --> 00:46:09,829 - You're welcome. - (CHUCKLES) 1041 00:46:10,955 --> 00:46:11,956 Ew. 1042 00:46:13,458 --> 00:46:14,709 (POP SONG PLAYING) 1043 00:46:15,919 --> 00:46:19,005 I was all caught up for a while 1044 00:46:19,088 --> 00:46:21,049 EMMETT: I've dug up great stuff on Grant, so just, uh, wait here, 1045 00:46:21,132 --> 00:46:22,467 and don't steal anything. Okay? 1046 00:46:22,550 --> 00:46:23,551 Great. 1047 00:46:24,552 --> 00:46:25,762 (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING) 1048 00:46:25,845 --> 00:46:28,473 Too bad I was acting like a child 1049 00:46:28,556 --> 00:46:29,557 (CHUCKLES) 1050 00:46:29,974 --> 00:46:33,102 I'd rather act like the woman I am 1051 00:46:39,818 --> 00:46:40,819 (CHUCKLES) 1052 00:46:49,160 --> 00:46:50,745 - What the shit is this? - Wow. 1053 00:46:50,829 --> 00:46:53,832 Your grasp of the English language continues to astound. 1054 00:46:53,915 --> 00:46:57,710 Uh, wow. Well, uh, I guess I don't redecorate as much as I should. 1055 00:46:57,794 --> 00:46:59,337 Oh, hardy-fuckin'-har. 1056 00:46:59,420 --> 00:47:02,090 You have a picture of me. Framed. 1057 00:47:02,173 --> 00:47:05,093 I know you probably didn't notice this, but I'm in the picture as well. 1058 00:47:07,387 --> 00:47:09,055 God, we were like nine. 1059 00:47:09,639 --> 00:47:11,224 Dude, why do you even have this? 1060 00:47:11,307 --> 00:47:12,976 I like it. Okay? 1061 00:47:13,351 --> 00:47:15,145 Look at these kids, all right? They're friends. 1062 00:47:15,228 --> 00:47:16,813 No one's judging. 1063 00:47:16,896 --> 00:47:18,439 No one has their feelings hurt. 1064 00:47:18,523 --> 00:47:21,484 So I keep this around. 1065 00:47:22,610 --> 00:47:23,903 You got a problem with that? 1066 00:47:25,196 --> 00:47:26,197 No. 1067 00:47:26,281 --> 00:47:30,201 Now, if you're ready to set your psychological sex trap, 1068 00:47:30,285 --> 00:47:32,704 I've got a decade of backstory. 1069 00:47:32,787 --> 00:47:35,582 I can't express how much I don't wanna go inside. 1070 00:47:35,665 --> 00:47:37,709 Okay, you know what? It's time that you understand 1071 00:47:37,792 --> 00:47:39,919 what you want doesn't really matter. 1072 00:47:40,003 --> 00:47:41,379 Take me, for example. 1073 00:47:41,462 --> 00:47:44,632 I wake up every morning and I drag myself to a job that I hate. 1074 00:47:44,716 --> 00:47:47,302 Ah, life lesson. Neat. 1075 00:47:47,385 --> 00:47:48,803 The point is... 1076 00:47:48,887 --> 00:47:52,557 I'm gonna be fine as long as you don't cock-block me tonight. 1077 00:47:52,640 --> 00:47:53,641 Comprende? 1078 00:47:53,850 --> 00:47:54,851 Ew! 1079 00:47:55,143 --> 00:47:56,186 (BOTH GROAN IN DISGUST) 1080 00:47:56,269 --> 00:47:58,771 - Daddy! Gross. Yes. - Gross! 1081 00:47:58,855 --> 00:47:59,898 Get in there and be social. 1082 00:48:00,356 --> 00:48:01,691 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 1083 00:48:11,993 --> 00:48:12,994 KEVIN: Oh, yeah. 1084 00:48:14,996 --> 00:48:16,789 It's on like Donkey Kong. 1085 00:48:17,457 --> 00:48:18,666 - Donkey what? - See ya later. 1086 00:48:21,878 --> 00:48:23,880 KAYLA: Party in the house! 1087 00:48:25,465 --> 00:48:27,342 - Oh, yes. - Oh, what are you doing here? 1088 00:48:27,425 --> 00:48:29,594 MICHELLE: No way. STEPHANIE: What up, bitches? 1089 00:48:29,677 --> 00:48:31,638 MICHELLE: What? STEPHANIE: Is this a wake or what? 1090 00:48:31,721 --> 00:48:33,848 I'm super confused. Why are you all here right now? 1091 00:48:33,932 --> 00:48:34,933 GRANT: Hey, Annie. 1092 00:48:35,642 --> 00:48:36,935 - Ladies. - GIRLS: Hey. 1093 00:48:37,018 --> 00:48:39,229 Thank you for all coming to my mom's lame party. 1094 00:48:39,312 --> 00:48:41,356 Wait. I didn't know you guys all knew Grant that well. 1095 00:48:41,439 --> 00:48:44,359 Yeah, I only bought him, like, three pumpkin spice lattes this week. 1096 00:48:44,442 --> 00:48:45,443 Right? 1097 00:48:45,527 --> 00:48:48,238 Well, he, um, carried me to safety when I broke my leg. 1098 00:48:48,321 --> 00:48:49,364 (CHUCKLES) 1099 00:48:49,447 --> 00:48:51,074 ANNIE: When did you... Which one? STEPHANIE: Break your... Yeah. 1100 00:48:51,157 --> 00:48:53,076 It's much better now. Stephanie, what are you doing here? 1101 00:48:53,159 --> 00:48:54,494 - I came with Emmett. - Who? 1102 00:48:54,577 --> 00:48:55,703 - (OBJECT CLATTERING) - That kid. Yeah. 1103 00:48:55,787 --> 00:48:57,914 So, he's Grant's best friend and I'm friends with Emmett, 1104 00:48:57,997 --> 00:48:59,415 so it's kind of like Grant and I are besties. 1105 00:48:59,499 --> 00:49:00,500 - Right? - Is it? 1106 00:49:00,583 --> 00:49:01,751 Sure. 1107 00:49:01,835 --> 00:49:03,169 Oh, and where's your boyfriend, Kayla? 1108 00:49:03,253 --> 00:49:05,421 I told you, Stephanie, 1109 00:49:05,505 --> 00:49:07,131 - we broke up. - Mmm. 1110 00:49:07,215 --> 00:49:09,509 You keep on saying how nonstop the sex has been, right? 1111 00:49:09,592 --> 00:49:11,052 - Yeah. - STEPHANIE: It's been like dirty 1112 00:49:11,135 --> 00:49:12,595 and hungry, you know what I mean? 1113 00:49:12,679 --> 00:49:13,680 Okay, uh, let's have a little... 1114 00:49:13,763 --> 00:49:15,181 Can we have a little girls', like, powwow, just outside? 1115 00:49:15,265 --> 00:49:16,307 No, I'm fine. 1116 00:49:16,391 --> 00:49:19,644 Okay, so apparently you've all chosen Grant for the pact? 1117 00:49:19,727 --> 00:49:21,604 Yeah, he's smart and articulate. 1118 00:49:21,688 --> 00:49:22,772 Yeah, nice guy. 1119 00:49:22,856 --> 00:49:24,065 - I mean, he hasn't hit on me once. - MICHELLE: Hmm. 1120 00:49:24,149 --> 00:49:27,360 Have we considered if that's because he's just not into you? 1121 00:49:27,443 --> 00:49:28,444 Screw you. 1122 00:49:28,528 --> 00:49:30,613 Rule number three, I'm calling you on your bullshit. 1123 00:49:30,697 --> 00:49:32,574 Making Tim jealous is not your goal. 1124 00:49:32,657 --> 00:49:34,534 STEPHANIE: And as your accountability partner, I'm just reminding you, 1125 00:49:34,617 --> 00:49:36,995 - neither is kissing up to Grant's mom. - Oh. 1126 00:49:37,078 --> 00:49:38,746 Rule number two, we are best friends. 1127 00:49:38,830 --> 00:49:39,831 We should support each other. 1128 00:49:39,914 --> 00:49:41,666 We shouldn't let some boy come between us. 1129 00:49:42,000 --> 00:49:43,001 Us? 1130 00:49:43,084 --> 00:49:44,169 (LAUGHING) 1131 00:49:44,252 --> 00:49:45,920 I meant between you. 1132 00:49:46,004 --> 00:49:48,965 Right. 'Cause Emmett and I have seen you having little French lessons with Grant. 1133 00:49:49,048 --> 00:49:50,049 Uh-huh. We've been studying. 1134 00:49:50,133 --> 00:49:51,176 "Studying." 1135 00:49:51,259 --> 00:49:52,427 I have a boyfriend. 1136 00:49:52,510 --> 00:49:55,054 God, yes, Annie, we get it. Thank you! 1137 00:49:55,138 --> 00:49:56,139 - (DOOR OPENS) - GRANT: Hey! 1138 00:49:56,723 --> 00:49:57,724 Everything cool? 1139 00:49:58,224 --> 00:49:59,976 STEPHANIE: You know, we should just table this. Okay? 1140 00:50:00,059 --> 00:50:01,060 - MICHELLE: But... - Tabled! 1141 00:50:01,352 --> 00:50:02,395 Uh... 1142 00:50:02,479 --> 00:50:03,897 KAYLA: (GROANS) Stifler. 1143 00:50:04,314 --> 00:50:05,732 It doesn't seem like he's that into her. 1144 00:50:05,815 --> 00:50:07,692 Hmm. I thought you didn't care. 1145 00:50:07,775 --> 00:50:09,777 I'm just making an observation. 1146 00:50:10,612 --> 00:50:11,613 Right. 1147 00:50:11,696 --> 00:50:13,364 You two, guard the stairs. 1148 00:50:13,448 --> 00:50:14,782 I'm gonna do some recon. 1149 00:50:14,866 --> 00:50:15,867 What does that mean? 1150 00:50:15,950 --> 00:50:19,078 You know, check out his room, scope it out, smell his underwear. 1151 00:50:19,162 --> 00:50:20,580 - I don't know. Bing-bang-boom. - What? 1152 00:50:20,663 --> 00:50:23,166 That's kind of an invasion of his privacy. 1153 00:50:23,625 --> 00:50:25,335 - It is? - Hmm? 1154 00:50:25,418 --> 00:50:27,253 - (FAKE CRYING) Oh, my God, his privacy! - Yeah. 1155 00:50:27,337 --> 00:50:29,339 - Just guard the stairs, nerds. - Okay. 1156 00:50:32,759 --> 00:50:33,760 Oh, boy. 1157 00:50:33,843 --> 00:50:37,013 MICHELLE: You know, I think I'm gonna do some recon work of my own. 1158 00:50:37,472 --> 00:50:38,806 - Okay. Bye. - Bye. 1159 00:50:54,823 --> 00:50:59,661 {\an8}So, I do have some goodies, but not enough to go around. 1160 00:50:59,744 --> 00:51:01,579 - Oh, I don't care if anybody... - MICHELLE: Hey, Annie's dad! 1161 00:51:01,663 --> 00:51:03,665 Principal Fisher. I just wanted to tell you 1162 00:51:03,748 --> 00:51:06,835 that I am so excited to have a strong female role model to look up to. 1163 00:51:06,918 --> 00:51:09,254 - I was thinking maybe you and I could... - Aw! Oliver! 1164 00:51:09,337 --> 00:51:10,338 (CLEARS THROAT) Hmm. 1165 00:51:10,797 --> 00:51:12,173 - MICHELLE: Uh, uh... - Hi. Principal Fisher 1166 00:51:12,257 --> 00:51:14,509 doesn't wanna talk to you anymore, but I would love to. 1167 00:51:14,592 --> 00:51:16,928 - Do you wanna hear my JFK? - Who are you? 1168 00:51:17,011 --> 00:51:18,680 STEPHANIE: Something's been missing out of my life. 1169 00:51:18,763 --> 00:51:20,890 You know, like a void that needs to be filled, even. 1170 00:51:20,974 --> 00:51:21,975 (BONES CRACKING) 1171 00:51:22,058 --> 00:51:23,101 - Ow! - Oh, sorry. 1172 00:51:23,184 --> 00:51:25,061 STEPHANIE: Okay, look, I sense some resistance 1173 00:51:25,145 --> 00:51:26,521 and I really don't know what the problem is, 1174 00:51:26,604 --> 00:51:28,731 so if you could just, like, clear that up for me, that'd be great. 1175 00:51:28,815 --> 00:51:29,816 Okay. 1176 00:51:29,899 --> 00:51:32,986 Uh, well, for one, you hit me in the head with a lacrosse ball, so... 1177 00:51:33,069 --> 00:51:34,487 Dude, it was an accident. 1178 00:51:34,571 --> 00:51:35,738 - Was it? - Yeah. 1179 00:51:35,822 --> 00:51:37,574 Mmm... I mean, I saw the Venmo. 1180 00:51:37,657 --> 00:51:40,410 You got paid 20 bucks for knocking out the new hot guy. 1181 00:51:40,493 --> 00:51:42,662 - Well, have you seen yourself? - (CHUCKLES) 1182 00:51:43,705 --> 00:51:45,123 I forgot something in my room. 1183 00:51:45,206 --> 00:51:46,833 - I'll be back. - All right. 1184 00:51:46,916 --> 00:51:49,002 - Nice ass. - Yeah, thank you. 1185 00:51:51,045 --> 00:51:52,463 (MUFFLED) Oh, shit. 1186 00:51:53,882 --> 00:51:55,008 What the... 1187 00:51:58,136 --> 00:51:59,387 (CAMERA CLICKING) 1188 00:51:59,846 --> 00:52:01,014 - (DOOR OPENING) - Oh. 1189 00:52:03,183 --> 00:52:04,476 Grant! 1190 00:52:04,559 --> 00:52:05,643 Hi. 1191 00:52:06,227 --> 00:52:07,479 Hey, you're, uh... 1192 00:52:07,562 --> 00:52:08,897 - You're missing the party. - (SNIFFS) 1193 00:52:08,980 --> 00:52:12,025 Yeah, I'm, uh, kinda hiding, actually. 1194 00:52:12,108 --> 00:52:16,863 That girl Stephanie is so extra and kind of terrifying. 1195 00:52:16,946 --> 00:52:17,947 Oh. 1196 00:52:18,406 --> 00:52:21,284 Uh, for your information, guys are obsessed with her 1197 00:52:21,367 --> 00:52:24,078 and she also happens to be a really great person. 1198 00:52:24,162 --> 00:52:25,163 So, um... 1199 00:52:25,580 --> 00:52:26,831 I didn't mean anything by it. 1200 00:52:26,915 --> 00:52:29,209 She's really nice. Just not my type. 1201 00:52:30,502 --> 00:52:31,586 You are. 1202 00:52:32,712 --> 00:52:34,881 - Uh... - (BOTH CHUCKLE) 1203 00:52:36,424 --> 00:52:39,719 I'm sorry. I know you have a boyfriend, 1204 00:52:39,802 --> 00:52:42,931 and I'm not supposed to say or feel anything, 1205 00:52:43,014 --> 00:52:45,517 and I don't wanna ruin the only friendship I have. 1206 00:52:45,809 --> 00:52:46,935 No. 1207 00:52:47,185 --> 00:52:48,186 No? 1208 00:53:00,782 --> 00:53:01,783 (CAMERA CLICKS) 1209 00:53:03,952 --> 00:53:05,245 Oh, hi. 1210 00:53:06,079 --> 00:53:07,747 Breaking news, bitches! 1211 00:53:09,040 --> 00:53:10,041 Oh, shit. 1212 00:53:12,335 --> 00:53:13,336 (ALL GASP) 1213 00:53:13,419 --> 00:53:14,420 (INDISTINCT SHOUTING) 1214 00:53:16,214 --> 00:53:17,215 Whoa! 1215 00:53:18,925 --> 00:53:19,926 Oh, shit. 1216 00:53:20,593 --> 00:53:21,594 (GIRLS GROANING) 1217 00:53:23,638 --> 00:53:25,557 Wow. It is like Donkey Kong. 1218 00:53:26,850 --> 00:53:27,851 I'm okay. 1219 00:53:35,441 --> 00:53:36,442 GRANT: Ow. 1220 00:53:38,027 --> 00:53:39,696 Okay, what the hell was that? 1221 00:53:39,779 --> 00:53:41,865 Let me answer that question with another question. 1222 00:53:41,948 --> 00:53:43,408 - What the hell is this? - (GASPS) 1223 00:53:43,491 --> 00:53:44,492 MICHELLE: Annie! 1224 00:53:44,909 --> 00:53:46,619 You said that you weren't even interested in Grant. 1225 00:53:46,703 --> 00:53:48,621 First of all, shh. Second of all, delete that. 1226 00:53:48,705 --> 00:53:50,456 - I... I didn't do anything. - KAYLA: (MOCKING) "I didn't do..." 1227 00:53:50,540 --> 00:53:52,750 You were practically eating his face. 1228 00:53:52,834 --> 00:53:55,003 - That's dramatic. - What'd it taste like? 1229 00:53:55,086 --> 00:53:56,546 Guys! I am sticky and embarrassed 1230 00:53:56,629 --> 00:53:58,673 and I just got rejected by a man for the first time in my life. 1231 00:53:58,756 --> 00:54:00,008 - Oh, boo-hoo! - Go cry me a river. 1232 00:54:00,091 --> 00:54:01,092 STEPHANIE: Let's just call it a day. 1233 00:54:01,176 --> 00:54:02,552 - Cool? - Fine. 1234 00:54:02,635 --> 00:54:04,345 Fine. I don't even care! 1235 00:54:05,597 --> 00:54:08,016 Hey, Annie. Can we talk real quick? 1236 00:54:08,099 --> 00:54:11,561 - Uh, nothing to talk about. - Really? 1237 00:54:11,644 --> 00:54:14,814 How about the girl doing a photo shoot in my lacrosse uniform 1238 00:54:14,898 --> 00:54:16,941 or I don't know, how we kissed and you hit me? 1239 00:54:17,025 --> 00:54:18,193 We did not kiss. 1240 00:54:18,943 --> 00:54:19,944 You kissed me. 1241 00:54:20,236 --> 00:54:21,905 - Unannounced. Without permission. - (SCOFFS) 1242 00:54:21,988 --> 00:54:24,491 Come on. You gave me permission with your face. 1243 00:54:25,450 --> 00:54:28,119 You gave me kiss face. It was... It was like... 1244 00:54:28,703 --> 00:54:30,872 - Oh, my face did not do that. - Yeah. 1245 00:54:30,955 --> 00:54:31,956 - Yes, it did. - It did not. 1246 00:54:32,040 --> 00:54:33,833 - That's exactly what it did. - I'm... I'm just gonna go home. 1247 00:54:33,917 --> 00:54:35,418 - Okay. - So it was good seeing you. 1248 00:54:36,711 --> 00:54:37,754 - You live that way. - I live that way. 1249 00:54:37,837 --> 00:54:39,297 - Yup. - I knew that. 1250 00:54:39,631 --> 00:54:41,007 (SLOW FRENCH ROCK SONG PLAYING) 1251 00:55:05,365 --> 00:55:06,574 (DOORBELL RINGS) 1252 00:55:18,127 --> 00:55:19,504 Bonjour. 1253 00:55:19,587 --> 00:55:20,922 (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING) 1254 00:55:29,389 --> 00:55:30,390 {\an8}(SPEAKING FRENCH) 1255 00:55:35,270 --> 00:55:36,729 (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING) 1256 00:56:05,383 --> 00:56:06,384 (GASPS) 1257 00:56:06,968 --> 00:56:07,969 (SIGHS) 1258 00:56:12,182 --> 00:56:13,391 (IN ENGLISH) No, no, no. 1259 00:56:13,808 --> 00:56:14,934 No, no, no. 1260 00:56:15,393 --> 00:56:16,936 You don't like Grant. 1261 00:56:17,020 --> 00:56:19,397 You love Jason. 1262 00:56:22,650 --> 00:56:23,818 (BELL RINGING) 1263 00:56:29,157 --> 00:56:31,618 Nope. Nope, nope, nope. 1264 00:56:35,622 --> 00:56:37,415 Uh, biology is this way. 1265 00:56:37,499 --> 00:56:38,625 I'm going to see Jason. 1266 00:56:38,708 --> 00:56:40,460 This waiting around is making me crazy. 1267 00:56:40,543 --> 00:56:43,463 Wait. Are you cutting class? You never cut class. 1268 00:56:43,546 --> 00:56:45,590 Some things are more important. He's only three hours away. 1269 00:56:45,673 --> 00:56:48,051 I can get there, bang it out, get my head straight, 1270 00:56:48,134 --> 00:56:49,427 be back before dinner. 1271 00:56:49,511 --> 00:56:51,763 - Annie, are you talking about... - Sex! 1272 00:56:51,846 --> 00:56:54,849 I'm going to have sex with the man that I love. 1273 00:56:54,933 --> 00:56:56,100 BOY: Yo, girl, go get you some! 1274 00:56:56,184 --> 00:56:57,560 GIRL: No glove, no love! 1275 00:56:57,644 --> 00:57:00,480 Okay! I'm so excited for you. 1276 00:57:01,064 --> 00:57:02,565 Let me get this straight. 1277 00:57:02,649 --> 00:57:05,151 You went from Tim's girlfriend to his side piece. 1278 00:57:06,277 --> 00:57:08,404 And you're happy with that? Isn't that kind of like a demotion? 1279 00:57:08,488 --> 00:57:10,240 No, you don't get it. It's casual. 1280 00:57:10,323 --> 00:57:11,699 Girl, I invented casual. 1281 00:57:11,783 --> 00:57:12,992 That's not what you're doing. 1282 00:57:13,076 --> 00:57:14,452 What you're doing is pretending it's casual 1283 00:57:14,536 --> 00:57:16,371 so you can still fuck the guy you like. 1284 00:57:17,413 --> 00:57:19,374 - Oh, my God. - There ya go. 1285 00:57:19,457 --> 00:57:21,584 I do still like him. 1286 00:57:21,668 --> 00:57:27,006 Our casual, no-strings-attached sex is neither casual nor without strings! 1287 00:57:27,090 --> 00:57:29,259 - There are feelings! - Does Tim know that? 1288 00:57:29,676 --> 00:57:32,136 No. No, he does not, but he will. 1289 00:57:32,846 --> 00:57:34,722 He's gonna know right now. 1290 00:57:35,598 --> 00:57:37,350 - Okay. (EXHALES) - Kayla? 1291 00:57:39,018 --> 00:57:40,687 - She okay? - Who knows? 1292 00:57:40,770 --> 00:57:43,690 Well, get this. Annie just left school to go see Jason. 1293 00:57:43,773 --> 00:57:45,358 No shit! Good for her. 1294 00:57:45,441 --> 00:57:47,277 - You know what this means, though? - What? 1295 00:57:47,360 --> 00:57:48,361 Annie wins. 1296 00:57:48,444 --> 00:57:49,487 (LAUGHING) 1297 00:57:49,571 --> 00:57:52,448 She does. After she does the deed, she's fulfilled her goal. 1298 00:57:52,532 --> 00:57:54,033 Kayla is still obsessed with Tim. 1299 00:57:54,117 --> 00:57:55,702 I'm absolutely nowhere. 1300 00:57:55,785 --> 00:57:58,163 And Grant seems to be the only guy in school who doesn't lust after you. 1301 00:57:59,205 --> 00:58:00,456 It's not over yet. 1302 00:58:00,540 --> 00:58:01,708 Oh, come on, Steph. 1303 00:58:01,791 --> 00:58:03,168 The MORP is in a week. 1304 00:58:03,251 --> 00:58:04,961 Champions are made in the last quarter. 1305 00:58:05,587 --> 00:58:07,172 Game just got interesting. 1306 00:58:12,260 --> 00:58:14,762 Hey. Hey. Glad you came. 1307 00:58:14,846 --> 00:58:17,140 - Um, I need to talk to you. - Okay. 1308 00:58:17,724 --> 00:58:18,975 Why are we in the library? 1309 00:58:19,058 --> 00:58:20,477 Nobody ever comes back here. 1310 00:58:20,560 --> 00:58:22,020 Dangerous... 1311 00:58:22,103 --> 00:58:23,563 Sexy, huh? 1312 00:58:24,314 --> 00:58:25,315 (SIGHS) 1313 00:58:26,149 --> 00:58:27,192 Oh, you hate it. 1314 00:58:27,275 --> 00:58:28,401 God, I'm sorry. 1315 00:58:28,485 --> 00:58:30,361 It was such a stupid idea. 1316 00:58:30,445 --> 00:58:33,281 Look, I respect you and I just want you to know 1317 00:58:33,364 --> 00:58:36,034 that this is always a safe space. 1318 00:58:38,036 --> 00:58:39,621 All right, pants off, make it quick. 1319 00:58:39,704 --> 00:58:41,206 I'm sure that will not be a problem. Oh! 1320 00:58:42,248 --> 00:58:43,666 - (CAMERA CLICKS) - (CHUCKLES) 1321 00:58:43,750 --> 00:58:45,543 Principal Fisher? Oh. 1322 00:58:45,877 --> 00:58:47,170 Sorry. I can come back. 1323 00:58:47,253 --> 00:58:48,421 No, that's okay. 1324 00:58:48,505 --> 00:58:50,840 Well, it's kind of a weird situation. 1325 00:58:50,924 --> 00:58:53,259 - See, I made this pact... - No, no, no. 1326 00:58:53,343 --> 00:58:54,385 Sorry. 1327 00:58:54,511 --> 00:58:55,512 Um... 1328 00:58:55,845 --> 00:58:57,055 I made this pact with my friends 1329 00:58:57,138 --> 00:58:59,641 that I would try and date somebody who I'm really proud of 1330 00:58:59,724 --> 00:59:00,934 and who really gets me, 1331 00:59:01,017 --> 00:59:03,728 but I feel like in doing so, I've kind of lost sight of myself. 1332 00:59:03,812 --> 00:59:05,939 I mean, I thought that Grant was the guy that I wanted 1333 00:59:06,022 --> 00:59:09,526 because he's smart and he's cute and he's socially conscious. 1334 00:59:09,609 --> 00:59:11,361 - Great job on that, by the way. - Thanks. 1335 00:59:11,444 --> 00:59:13,196 But I don't even know who I've become. 1336 00:59:13,279 --> 00:59:17,367 Like, I'm pretending to be weak and helpless to manipulate a man? 1337 00:59:17,450 --> 00:59:19,035 What would Ruth Bader Ginsburg say? 1338 00:59:19,118 --> 00:59:20,245 I mean, I don't need a man to complete me. 1339 00:59:20,328 --> 00:59:23,164 I'm a strong, smart, independent woman. Right? 1340 00:59:23,248 --> 00:59:26,084 Michelle, there is nothing wrong with wanting to be in a relationship. 1341 00:59:26,167 --> 00:59:28,503 Everybody deserves a little romance. 1342 00:59:28,586 --> 00:59:30,964 But I do think you're barking up the wrong tree. 1343 00:59:31,047 --> 00:59:33,049 I mean, if Grant were the right guy for you, 1344 00:59:33,132 --> 00:59:35,718 you wouldn't have to be anything but yourself. 1345 00:59:35,802 --> 00:59:38,805 It does, however, make me think of another young man, 1346 00:59:38,888 --> 00:59:42,433 a young man who happened to score 1,590 on his SAT, 1347 00:59:42,517 --> 00:59:44,894 a young man who volunteers every single weekend. 1348 00:59:44,978 --> 00:59:45,979 (CHUCKLES) 1349 00:59:46,062 --> 00:59:47,689 You're describing my ideal mate. 1350 00:59:47,772 --> 00:59:51,234 He is obsessed with presidential history. 1351 00:59:51,317 --> 00:59:52,735 Are you shitting me, Principal Fisher? 1352 00:59:52,819 --> 00:59:55,029 I shit you not, Michelle. Watch your language. 1353 00:59:55,113 --> 00:59:58,783 His name is Oliver Hawthorn, and you work with him every single day, 1354 00:59:58,867 --> 01:00:01,327 and he clearly has an obvious crush on you. 1355 01:00:01,744 --> 01:00:03,246 Now get out, I'm very busy. 1356 01:00:03,830 --> 01:00:05,290 - (CAMERA CLICKING) - Right. Okay. 1357 01:00:06,875 --> 01:00:08,084 - Bye-bye. - Thank you. 1358 01:00:08,751 --> 01:00:11,129 Oh, well, I mean, what can you expect? 1359 01:00:11,212 --> 01:00:12,672 She's been through a lot. 1360 01:00:18,761 --> 01:00:22,015 So, um, I hear you're into presidents. 1361 01:00:22,640 --> 01:00:24,225 Uh, just Kennedy. 1362 01:00:25,518 --> 01:00:28,688 "My fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you. 1363 01:00:28,771 --> 01:00:30,023 - (MICHELLE MOANS) - "Ask what you can do for your country." 1364 01:00:30,815 --> 01:00:32,066 (CHUCKLING) It's not a very good impression, 1365 01:00:32,150 --> 01:00:33,151 but I mean, I'm trying to perfect it. 1366 01:00:33,234 --> 01:00:35,695 - Um, I... I actually have to go. - Okay. 1367 01:00:35,778 --> 01:00:37,363 - Right now. - Oh. 1368 01:00:37,447 --> 01:00:38,448 Bye. 1369 01:00:41,409 --> 01:00:42,702 Oh, man. 1370 01:00:42,785 --> 01:00:45,497 Since we broke up, the sex just keeps getting better, right? 1371 01:00:48,500 --> 01:00:51,252 Hey, what's up? You okay? 1372 01:00:53,171 --> 01:00:56,716 What are the odds, uh, this isn't just meaningless sex to you? 1373 01:01:00,011 --> 01:01:04,265 What are the odds, um, that you're actually in love with me, 1374 01:01:05,350 --> 01:01:07,477 but you're just afraid of your feelings 1375 01:01:07,560 --> 01:01:12,148 and, um, deep in your heart you wanna stay with me? 1376 01:01:17,987 --> 01:01:19,072 That's what I thought. 1377 01:01:19,906 --> 01:01:22,992 Um, I can't do this casual thing. 1378 01:01:24,619 --> 01:01:26,246 Not with you. (SNIFFS) 1379 01:01:26,955 --> 01:01:28,414 I just want more. 1380 01:01:31,209 --> 01:01:32,502 I deserve more. 1381 01:01:36,047 --> 01:01:37,131 Bye, Tim. 1382 01:01:43,847 --> 01:01:45,515 ANNIE: Hey, Jason, it's me. 1383 01:01:45,598 --> 01:01:48,643 I can't really talk right now, and I know you're in class anyway, 1384 01:01:48,726 --> 01:01:50,770 but I have a surprise for you. 1385 01:01:50,854 --> 01:01:52,981 So, call me back when you get this, okay? 1386 01:01:53,064 --> 01:01:54,732 - I love you. Bye. - (UPBEAT POP SONG PLAYING) 1387 01:01:54,816 --> 01:01:56,526 Don't let this slip away 1388 01:01:56,609 --> 01:01:58,778 Maybe this road leads to Rome 1389 01:01:58,862 --> 01:02:01,573 But, baby, you make me feel at home 1390 01:02:01,656 --> 01:02:05,410 Together we're unstoppable It's undeniable 1391 01:02:05,493 --> 01:02:08,121 Let's go, go, go, go 1392 01:02:08,204 --> 01:02:11,374 Let's go all the way tonight 1393 01:02:11,457 --> 01:02:14,711 Take me all the way tonight 1394 01:02:14,794 --> 01:02:17,672 Baby, we can make this last 1395 01:02:17,755 --> 01:02:20,717 Nothing's gonna hold us back 1396 01:02:20,800 --> 01:02:24,053 Let's take it all the way tonight 1397 01:02:24,137 --> 01:02:27,390 Leave it up to fate tonight 1398 01:02:27,473 --> 01:02:28,516 - Thanks, buddy. - (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING) 1399 01:02:28,600 --> 01:02:31,019 So let's go all the way tonight 1400 01:02:31,102 --> 01:02:33,146 - Up top, baby. Hit me! One more. - (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING) 1401 01:02:33,229 --> 01:02:36,900 Let's take it all the way tonight 1402 01:02:36,983 --> 01:02:40,445 Leave it up to fate tonight 1403 01:02:40,528 --> 01:02:43,823 So let's go all the way tonight 1404 01:02:43,907 --> 01:02:47,952 {\an8}Let's go all the way tonight, tonight 1405 01:02:50,538 --> 01:02:53,208 JASON: I'm gonna pop. I'm gonna pop. I'm gonna pop. 1406 01:02:53,291 --> 01:02:54,834 - Oh, I'm popping! - (GASPS) 1407 01:02:55,460 --> 01:02:56,461 Oh. 1408 01:02:56,544 --> 01:02:58,338 Um, Annie. 1409 01:02:58,463 --> 01:03:00,340 - ANNIE: Are you kidding me? - (CHUCKLES) 1410 01:03:00,507 --> 01:03:02,217 Uh... 1411 01:03:02,300 --> 01:03:03,468 It's not what it looks like. 1412 01:03:03,551 --> 01:03:04,802 - It's not? - No. 1413 01:03:04,886 --> 01:03:06,304 Um, she's my math tutor. 1414 01:03:06,387 --> 01:03:07,639 ANNIE: Was she tutoring you right now? 1415 01:03:07,722 --> 01:03:08,973 - I'm sorry. - Oh, my God! 1416 01:03:09,057 --> 01:03:10,475 - Just calm down. - Calm down? 1417 01:03:10,558 --> 01:03:12,977 You think telling me to calm down is gonna make me calm down? 1418 01:03:13,061 --> 01:03:14,562 Well, you're acting a little hysterical. 1419 01:03:14,646 --> 01:03:17,649 Am I? Am I a little bit hysterical? 1420 01:03:17,732 --> 01:03:18,775 (GRUNTS) 1421 01:03:18,858 --> 01:03:20,735 That really hurt bad! 1422 01:03:23,404 --> 01:03:24,656 Wait here. 1423 01:03:26,699 --> 01:03:28,034 {\an8}(MUFFLED) 1424 01:03:31,120 --> 01:03:33,081 Annie. Annie. 1425 01:03:33,164 --> 01:03:35,124 Annie, honey. Honey. Honey. 1426 01:03:35,208 --> 01:03:38,253 Sorry. Annie, um, talk to you one second? 1427 01:03:38,336 --> 01:03:39,504 - What? - Please. 1428 01:03:39,587 --> 01:03:41,130 What do you wanna say? 1429 01:03:41,548 --> 01:03:44,717 I don't know. Long distance relationships are rough. 1430 01:03:44,801 --> 01:03:46,010 Oh, is that right? 1431 01:03:46,094 --> 01:03:48,012 Yeah, I mean, there's so many hot chicks here. 1432 01:03:48,638 --> 01:03:50,598 You're hot too, obviously. Of course. 1433 01:03:50,682 --> 01:03:52,308 It's just, you know, you're not college-hot. 1434 01:03:52,392 --> 01:03:53,643 Your brain is hot. 1435 01:03:53,726 --> 01:03:56,896 Jason, I'm breaking up with you. 1436 01:03:56,980 --> 01:04:00,024 I only came here because I felt guilty. 1437 01:04:00,108 --> 01:04:02,110 I like someone else. 1438 01:04:02,193 --> 01:04:05,363 He kissed me and I liked it, and it freaked me out. 1439 01:04:05,446 --> 01:04:06,447 Okay. 1440 01:04:06,531 --> 01:04:09,450 So, I thought if I came here, if I saw you, 1441 01:04:09,534 --> 01:04:12,996 if we made love, then my feelings for you would come rushing back. 1442 01:04:14,247 --> 01:04:15,582 When I saw you with her, 1443 01:04:16,708 --> 01:04:19,878 after the anger, you know what I felt? 1444 01:04:21,546 --> 01:04:22,755 I felt relief. 1445 01:04:24,132 --> 01:04:25,133 Some dude kissed you? 1446 01:04:25,383 --> 01:04:26,384 (CHUCKLES) 1447 01:04:26,885 --> 01:04:27,886 What? 1448 01:04:29,888 --> 01:04:32,098 You're just really not who I wanted you to be. 1449 01:04:34,392 --> 01:04:36,519 Wow, that was... That was rough. 1450 01:04:39,063 --> 01:04:41,191 GIRL 1: Nice towel, douchebag. 1451 01:04:41,274 --> 01:04:42,901 (GIRL 2 SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY) 1452 01:04:50,950 --> 01:04:52,535 (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS) 1453 01:04:55,330 --> 01:04:56,331 - (ANNIE CLEARS THROAT) - Oh. 1454 01:04:56,789 --> 01:04:57,790 Oh. 1455 01:04:57,999 --> 01:04:59,501 Annie, have you been crying? 1456 01:05:00,126 --> 01:05:01,628 Oh, honey. 1457 01:05:01,711 --> 01:05:03,463 Oh, I think I know what this is. 1458 01:05:03,880 --> 01:05:04,881 Annie, don't worry. 1459 01:05:04,964 --> 01:05:07,425 Ellen's not trying to become your new mommy. 1460 01:05:07,759 --> 01:05:11,095 - Oh, my God. - Honey, that's not why she's upset. 1461 01:05:11,179 --> 01:05:14,766 Clearly, she's mortified 'cause she just walked in on us about to have sex. 1462 01:05:15,308 --> 01:05:17,268 Yeah. Yeah. What she said. 1463 01:05:17,560 --> 01:05:21,523 Oh. (CHUCKLES) No, this is... This is just a casual thing. 1464 01:05:21,606 --> 01:05:23,441 - I think the kids call it F-buddies. - (CHORTLES) 1465 01:05:23,525 --> 01:05:25,109 On that note, okay. 1466 01:05:25,193 --> 01:05:26,986 Oh, God. Oh, God. 1467 01:05:28,696 --> 01:05:30,073 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 1468 01:05:30,740 --> 01:05:33,535 KEVIN: Annie? Can I come in. 1469 01:05:33,910 --> 01:05:34,953 Okay. 1470 01:05:48,800 --> 01:05:53,096 Annie, did, um... Did what you see downstairs upset you? 1471 01:05:53,179 --> 01:05:55,557 Oh, no, it makes perfect sense. 1472 01:05:56,099 --> 01:05:57,851 Everyone's having sex but me. 1473 01:05:58,518 --> 01:05:59,561 Sex? 1474 01:05:59,644 --> 01:06:02,647 (CHUCKLES) I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say it. 1475 01:06:04,065 --> 01:06:05,733 I broke up with Jason. 1476 01:06:07,110 --> 01:06:08,111 Oh. 1477 01:06:08,444 --> 01:06:09,946 Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. 1478 01:06:11,239 --> 01:06:12,240 I'm not. 1479 01:06:12,323 --> 01:06:13,324 (CHUCKLES) 1480 01:06:14,868 --> 01:06:15,910 Oh, babe. 1481 01:06:15,994 --> 01:06:19,789 You are the most incredible person I know. 1482 01:06:19,873 --> 01:06:22,834 You're so smart, you're so funny. 1483 01:06:23,710 --> 01:06:25,170 You are so beautiful. 1484 01:06:25,795 --> 01:06:27,505 I don't need a pep talk, Dad. 1485 01:06:27,589 --> 01:06:30,341 That Jason never deserved you. 1486 01:06:32,468 --> 01:06:36,931 - And I never liked the guy, so there! - (BOTH LAUGH) 1487 01:06:37,015 --> 01:06:38,141 Wait. Really? 1488 01:06:38,224 --> 01:06:40,727 - No. He was a total brobag. - (CHUCKLES) 1489 01:06:42,937 --> 01:06:44,439 BOTH: Mmm. 1490 01:06:44,856 --> 01:06:46,107 I love you, Dad. 1491 01:06:47,233 --> 01:06:48,526 I love you too, babe. 1492 01:06:53,781 --> 01:06:54,991 (UPBEAT POP SONG PLAYING) 1493 01:06:57,660 --> 01:06:58,828 (BELL RINGING) 1494 01:06:59,829 --> 01:07:02,373 - Grant. Hey-hey. - Hey. 1495 01:07:02,457 --> 01:07:05,460 So, I'm having a little gathering at my place tonight, 1496 01:07:05,543 --> 01:07:06,586 if you wanna come. 1497 01:07:07,295 --> 01:07:09,464 Cool. Have you seen Annie, by chance? 1498 01:07:10,215 --> 01:07:11,216 Oh. 1499 01:07:11,299 --> 01:07:13,885 Oh, well, she went to go visit her boyfriend at college yesterday. 1500 01:07:13,968 --> 01:07:16,054 Yeah, they're probably still banging it out. 1501 01:07:16,137 --> 01:07:17,138 But back to my thing. 1502 01:07:17,222 --> 01:07:20,767 So, my favorite saxophone player, Vladimir Ullich, he's amazing... 1503 01:07:20,850 --> 01:07:22,977 - Are... Are you being serious? - What? 1504 01:07:23,061 --> 01:07:25,897 Vladimir Ullich is, like, my favorite musician of all time. 1505 01:07:25,980 --> 01:07:27,065 - Is it really? - Yeah. 1506 01:07:27,148 --> 01:07:29,192 What... What are the odds of that happening? 1507 01:07:29,275 --> 01:07:31,194 - Not high. - Well, you should stop by then. 1508 01:07:31,277 --> 01:07:33,905 It's, like, a listening party. Like, we'll play it all night. 1509 01:07:33,988 --> 01:07:35,949 I mean, I'm quirky, so... 1510 01:07:36,032 --> 01:07:37,408 You know what? Cool. 1511 01:07:37,492 --> 01:07:38,576 - Oh, great. - Great. 1512 01:07:38,660 --> 01:07:39,828 - Great. I'll see you there. - All right 1513 01:07:39,911 --> 01:07:40,912 (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING) 1514 01:07:40,995 --> 01:07:42,205 Baby, she's drop dead gorgeous 1515 01:07:42,288 --> 01:07:43,456 Drop dead 1516 01:07:43,540 --> 01:07:46,042 - (SONG STOPS) - Oh. My bad. I'll see you. 1517 01:07:46,125 --> 01:07:47,752 - Okay. - Okay. Bye. 1518 01:07:47,836 --> 01:07:48,837 (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING) 1519 01:07:48,920 --> 01:07:50,547 Baby, she's drop dead gorgeous 1520 01:07:50,630 --> 01:07:51,756 Drop dead 1521 01:07:51,840 --> 01:07:52,966 KAYLA: Freeze! 1522 01:07:53,216 --> 01:07:54,342 I got eyes on Annie. 1523 01:07:54,634 --> 01:07:55,635 Quad, stat. 1524 01:07:55,969 --> 01:07:56,970 (EXHALES) 1525 01:07:57,053 --> 01:07:59,430 - Well, well, well, look who it is. - What's this? 1526 01:07:59,681 --> 01:08:01,307 - Well, well, well, look... - I already did that. 1527 01:08:01,391 --> 01:08:02,725 - Damn it. - STEPHANIE: Annie! 1528 01:08:02,809 --> 01:08:05,395 You disappear, lose your virginity, no call, no text? 1529 01:08:05,478 --> 01:08:06,855 Like, you ghosted us. 1530 01:08:07,772 --> 01:08:09,774 Sorry. I've just been dead. 1531 01:08:10,316 --> 01:08:11,651 Because of all the sex? 1532 01:08:11,776 --> 01:08:13,528 Girl, this is a big-ass moment for you. 1533 01:08:13,653 --> 01:08:15,696 - (BELL RINGING) - Shit! 1534 01:08:15,780 --> 01:08:18,158 Okay, we'll talk tonight? But you all are coming to my party tonight, right? 1535 01:08:18,240 --> 01:08:19,575 - Yeah, duh. - Okay. Great. 1536 01:08:19,659 --> 01:08:22,078 And since Annie has had sweet Freeform TV sex, 1537 01:08:22,162 --> 01:08:24,622 I'll swoop in and seduce the lovely Grant. (CLICKS TONGUE) 1538 01:08:24,706 --> 01:08:27,374 KAYLA: Yes! What's up! Whoo! MICHELLE: Yeah! 1539 01:08:27,458 --> 01:08:30,128 KAYLA: (SING-SONG) Mama had sex! STEPHANIE: She ain't a virgin! 1540 01:08:30,211 --> 01:08:31,212 {\an8}(UPBEAT SONG PLAYING) 1541 01:08:31,296 --> 01:08:33,131 {\an8}We make the beat go boom, boom, boom 1542 01:08:33,213 --> 01:08:34,883 Boom, boom, boom 1543 01:08:34,966 --> 01:08:38,093 I like the sound it makes Boom, boom, boom 1544 01:08:38,178 --> 01:08:40,262 You do this kind of thing every weekend? 1545 01:08:40,346 --> 01:08:43,307 Stifler's parties are the bedrock on which East Great Falls was built. 1546 01:08:43,432 --> 01:08:46,811 And tonight, we're using the party gods to seduce the new guy. 1547 01:08:46,895 --> 01:08:49,230 (LAUGHS) Wow. You need to sacrifice a virgin or something? 1548 01:08:49,314 --> 01:08:50,690 No, don't worry, you're safe. 1549 01:08:50,773 --> 01:08:52,233 Okay, so we thought of everything, right? 1550 01:08:52,316 --> 01:08:54,819 - Grant's favorite music, snacks, drinks? - Yeah. 1551 01:08:54,903 --> 01:08:56,404 I mean, I'm even wearing his favorite color. 1552 01:08:56,613 --> 01:08:58,530 - You look beautiful. - Thanks. 1553 01:08:58,907 --> 01:09:00,450 - He's a lucky guy. - I know. 1554 01:09:01,159 --> 01:09:02,160 Oh. 1555 01:09:03,703 --> 01:09:04,954 Here you go. 1556 01:09:05,788 --> 01:09:07,123 What... What's this? 1557 01:09:07,664 --> 01:09:09,626 Wait, I pay you and you buy me something? 1558 01:09:10,418 --> 01:09:11,628 That's fucking stupid. 1559 01:09:11,711 --> 01:09:14,672 - The usual response is, "Thank you." - Mmm. 1560 01:09:18,927 --> 01:09:20,178 It's a lipstick case. 1561 01:09:22,430 --> 01:09:24,432 On, uh... On which to make notches. 1562 01:09:26,684 --> 01:09:28,561 It's a present, a thoughtful one. 1563 01:09:30,521 --> 01:09:32,690 - I also wrapped it. - Yeah, and you... 1564 01:09:32,774 --> 01:09:34,108 - And you wrapped it. Uh... - KAYLA: Whoo! 1565 01:09:35,610 --> 01:09:37,779 Well, my girls are here so I should... I should go. 1566 01:09:39,321 --> 01:09:40,782 - Sure. - Yeah. (CHUCKLES) 1567 01:09:41,699 --> 01:09:42,700 Hey, hey. Uh... 1568 01:09:44,494 --> 01:09:45,537 Good luck with Grant. 1569 01:09:46,287 --> 01:09:48,581 Emmett, thank you. For everything. 1570 01:09:49,414 --> 01:09:52,001 And my present. I love it. 1571 01:09:56,172 --> 01:09:58,633 What up, bitches! 1572 01:09:58,716 --> 01:10:00,218 Welcome to Bang-Grant Palooza! 1573 01:10:00,468 --> 01:10:02,262 - Ow. - Hi, boo-boo, how are you? 1574 01:10:02,345 --> 01:10:03,972 Hey, you know, being a good winner 1575 01:10:04,055 --> 01:10:05,974 is just as important as being a good loser, Steph. 1576 01:10:06,057 --> 01:10:07,684 - Oh, you're throwing shade? - Way to read a room. 1577 01:10:08,268 --> 01:10:10,103 Guys, when did this turn into a competition? 1578 01:10:10,186 --> 01:10:12,605 This was never supposed to be about us competing for a boy. 1579 01:10:12,689 --> 01:10:14,399 Yeah, this was supposed to make me feel better. 1580 01:10:15,024 --> 01:10:16,568 I don't feel better. 1581 01:10:16,693 --> 01:10:19,904 Now you're gonna smash Grant when he really likes Annie. 1582 01:10:21,030 --> 01:10:22,323 - BOTH: What? - Uh, yeah. 1583 01:10:22,740 --> 01:10:23,825 When I was in his room, 1584 01:10:23,908 --> 01:10:26,619 he told her he liked her and then he kissed her. 1585 01:10:26,703 --> 01:10:28,705 Okay, well you made it sound like it was the other way around. 1586 01:10:28,788 --> 01:10:30,331 I can be a little extra sometimes. 1587 01:10:30,415 --> 01:10:31,583 Yeah, no shit! 1588 01:10:31,791 --> 01:10:33,126 GRANT: Hey, Emmett! EMMETT: What's up, man? 1589 01:10:33,209 --> 01:10:35,378 MICHELLE: I mean, he's cute, but he's not worth this. 1590 01:10:35,712 --> 01:10:37,297 - I'm out, guys. - EMMETT: Ladies, hey. 1591 01:10:37,714 --> 01:10:39,632 - Look who I found. - GRANT: Hey. 1592 01:10:41,801 --> 01:10:43,344 Oh. Uh... 1593 01:10:43,970 --> 01:10:45,096 What do you think of Annie? 1594 01:10:45,430 --> 01:10:46,431 She's great. 1595 01:10:47,223 --> 01:10:50,518 I mean, she's cool, smart, kind, funny. 1596 01:10:50,602 --> 01:10:52,812 Awkward, but in a really entertaining way. 1597 01:10:52,896 --> 01:10:56,274 - Is she here? - Oh. No, no, no, but she will be. Right? 1598 01:10:56,357 --> 01:10:58,943 Uh, can you guys just, like, talk for a sec? 1599 01:10:59,652 --> 01:11:00,653 - I know. I know. - (LINE RINGING) 1600 01:11:05,116 --> 01:11:06,117 (BOTH SCREAM) 1601 01:11:06,201 --> 01:11:07,702 Oh, my God! 1602 01:11:08,077 --> 01:11:11,664 - You are tightly wound. Wow. - Oh, my God. 1603 01:11:11,748 --> 01:11:12,999 (LAUGHING) I'm sorry. 1604 01:11:13,082 --> 01:11:15,502 - I didn't mean to scare you. - That's okay. That's okay. 1605 01:11:15,585 --> 01:11:18,588 Your father and I just worked up a real appetite tonight, 1606 01:11:18,671 --> 01:11:21,090 so I'm having a little ice cream. You want some? 1607 01:11:21,174 --> 01:11:22,300 - (CELL PHONE VIBRATING) - Um... 1608 01:11:22,383 --> 01:11:23,593 Sorry. 1609 01:11:24,886 --> 01:11:25,887 Um... 1610 01:11:26,513 --> 01:11:28,014 Yeah, you know what, I'll have some ice cream. 1611 01:11:28,097 --> 01:11:29,098 Great. 1612 01:11:29,182 --> 01:11:31,059 - (INDISTINCT CHATTER) - She's not answering. 1613 01:11:31,142 --> 01:11:33,311 Well, go get her and drag her ass here. Okay? 1614 01:11:33,603 --> 01:11:35,355 - Okay. - Come with me. 1615 01:11:35,438 --> 01:11:36,981 Ready for some sexy saxophone? 1616 01:11:37,065 --> 01:11:38,650 - She's back. - STEPHANIE: Let's go. 1617 01:11:39,567 --> 01:11:41,486 Hey! I need to talk to you. 1618 01:11:41,778 --> 01:11:43,863 Tim, I cannot do this right now. 1619 01:11:43,947 --> 01:11:44,948 We have to go get... 1620 01:11:45,031 --> 01:11:46,866 Kayla, please. 1621 01:11:47,242 --> 01:11:48,535 It's cool. I got this. 1622 01:11:49,702 --> 01:11:50,954 Good luck. 1623 01:11:52,205 --> 01:11:53,832 I thought there was a party tonight. 1624 01:11:54,749 --> 01:11:56,251 - Not in the mood. - Hmm. 1625 01:11:57,794 --> 01:11:59,170 Can I talk to you about something? 1626 01:11:59,254 --> 01:12:01,130 Should I be afraid of what you're about to say? 1627 01:12:01,464 --> 01:12:04,217 - I can never tell. I just let it fly. - (CHUCKLES) 1628 01:12:04,300 --> 01:12:06,970 Here's the thing. I've noticed that you've been upset 1629 01:12:07,053 --> 01:12:09,264 and my son has also been upset. 1630 01:12:09,347 --> 01:12:12,851 And I wonder if you're both upset about the same thing. 1631 01:12:16,896 --> 01:12:18,106 (ENGINE STARTS) 1632 01:12:22,193 --> 01:12:24,612 - SIRI: What can I help you with? - Call Annie. 1633 01:12:24,779 --> 01:12:26,698 Here's what I found on the web for Fannie. 1634 01:12:26,781 --> 01:12:27,907 No, call Annie! 1635 01:12:27,991 --> 01:12:29,367 Calling Manny's Pizza. 1636 01:12:29,450 --> 01:12:31,619 - (SIGHS) No! Annie! - Wait, wait, wait, wait! 1637 01:12:31,953 --> 01:12:33,204 - (SCREAMS) - (TIRES SCREECH) 1638 01:12:34,330 --> 01:12:37,333 - (GASPS) - (GRUNTS) Gonna feel that tomorrow. 1639 01:12:37,500 --> 01:12:38,960 - MAN: (OVER PHONE) Hello. Manny's Pizza. - Oh, my God! 1640 01:12:39,335 --> 01:12:41,254 - Hello! - Oliver? 1641 01:12:41,337 --> 01:12:43,423 - Oh, my God, please be okay. - OLIVER: Hi. 1642 01:12:43,506 --> 01:12:44,799 What are you doing in front of my car? 1643 01:12:44,883 --> 01:12:46,092 I'm trying to stop you from leaving. 1644 01:12:46,551 --> 01:12:47,677 I mean, you're the only reason I came. 1645 01:12:48,136 --> 01:12:50,013 Oh, my God, that's actually really sweet. 1646 01:12:50,471 --> 01:12:52,849 - Um, I have to go get my friend now... - Do you mind if I come with? 1647 01:12:52,932 --> 01:12:54,517 I mean, you did just run me over with your car. 1648 01:12:55,351 --> 01:12:56,352 Uh... 1649 01:12:56,603 --> 01:12:58,104 Okay, cool. Yeah, come on, come on. 1650 01:12:58,188 --> 01:12:59,230 - (GROANS) - Oh, shit. 1651 01:12:59,314 --> 01:13:00,899 I don't like the way you left the other day. 1652 01:13:00,982 --> 01:13:02,233 - (INDISTINCT CHATTER) - KAYLA: Tough shit! 1653 01:13:02,317 --> 01:13:05,904 Okay, I've got feelings and emotions. 1654 01:13:06,196 --> 01:13:09,491 I'm a little jealous and a bit of a handful. 1655 01:13:10,116 --> 01:13:16,873 But if you can't take me at my making-a-scene-at-a-party-ness, 1656 01:13:16,956 --> 01:13:21,669 then you don't deserve me at my fucking-you-in-the-library-ness. 1657 01:13:21,753 --> 01:13:22,795 (CHATTER DIES DOWN) 1658 01:13:22,879 --> 01:13:23,880 You're right. 1659 01:13:24,422 --> 01:13:25,715 Everything you said. 1660 01:13:26,257 --> 01:13:29,594 Truth is, I don't want you violating my trust. 1661 01:13:30,470 --> 01:13:32,931 But I do want you. 1662 01:13:34,015 --> 01:13:36,392 You're my lobster. 1663 01:13:36,476 --> 01:13:38,061 - Holy shit. (CHUCKLING) - That's right. 1664 01:13:38,561 --> 01:13:39,938 - "You're my lobster!" - Yeah. 1665 01:13:40,647 --> 01:13:43,733 - I didn't think you were gonna say that. - GIRL: Oh, yeah, Kayla! 1666 01:13:43,817 --> 01:13:45,068 (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) 1667 01:13:46,361 --> 01:13:49,614 - High school is the worst. - (BOTH CHUCKLE) 1668 01:13:50,114 --> 01:13:52,909 It is. And you think that it's never gonna end, but it does. 1669 01:13:52,992 --> 01:13:56,204 And when it does, time starts to move a lot faster. 1670 01:13:56,287 --> 01:13:59,666 So when you know what you want, you should go after it. 1671 01:13:59,999 --> 01:14:02,085 'Cause you might not get another chance. 1672 01:14:03,169 --> 01:14:04,170 (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) 1673 01:14:04,462 --> 01:14:05,839 - (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) - (DOORBELL RINGS) 1674 01:14:07,757 --> 01:14:09,759 Annie, get dressed. Grant is looking... 1675 01:14:09,843 --> 01:14:12,345 - Oh, Principal Fisher's here! - In a bathrobe. 1676 01:14:12,428 --> 01:14:14,430 - Hi. - Michelle, Oliver, is everything okay? 1677 01:14:15,181 --> 01:14:16,933 Oh. Yeah, I just didn't wanna leave him in the car. 1678 01:14:17,016 --> 01:14:18,184 I have got a knee issue, 1679 01:14:18,268 --> 01:14:20,436 - but it's not as important as love. - (CHUCKLES) 1680 01:14:21,104 --> 01:14:23,773 Um, Annie, Grant's at the party and he's looking for you. 1681 01:14:23,857 --> 01:14:26,401 The whole pact is off. We all know that he likes you. 1682 01:14:26,484 --> 01:14:28,820 - He does? - Yeah, Annie, he does. 1683 01:14:28,903 --> 01:14:29,904 (CHUCKLES) 1684 01:14:29,988 --> 01:14:31,281 This is an incredible moment and everything, 1685 01:14:31,364 --> 01:14:33,533 but Oliver is actually much heavier than he looks. 1686 01:14:33,616 --> 01:14:34,951 I'm wiry but muscular. 1687 01:14:35,326 --> 01:14:36,494 - It's a family trait. - Yeah. 1688 01:14:36,744 --> 01:14:37,745 Uh... (CHUCKLES) 1689 01:14:37,829 --> 01:14:42,750 Sorry, yeah, go wait in the car. I guess I'll change and be right out. 1690 01:14:43,418 --> 01:14:45,795 I am so excited for you for tonight. 1691 01:14:45,879 --> 01:14:49,340 Now don't you be afraid to go after Grant just because of me and your father. 1692 01:14:49,424 --> 01:14:51,759 We're not gonna make you guys step-siblings. 1693 01:14:51,843 --> 01:14:53,720 We both know this thing has a shelf life. 1694 01:14:53,803 --> 01:14:55,763 Besides, he took his last Viagra this morning. 1695 01:14:59,434 --> 01:15:02,187 I'm gonna go pretend I didn't hear that, and I'll be right out, so... 1696 01:15:02,854 --> 01:15:04,063 Okay. 1697 01:15:04,147 --> 01:15:06,733 - (SAXOPHONE MUSIC PLAYING) - (SQUEALING) This is... This is so good, 1698 01:15:06,816 --> 01:15:07,984 and this is... 1699 01:15:08,067 --> 01:15:09,861 Wow, but, um you know, 1700 01:15:09,944 --> 01:15:12,780 uh, we have to actually deal with some party stuff. Right? Yeah. 1701 01:15:12,864 --> 01:15:16,826 And so if you just wanna stay there and just really soak it all in. 1702 01:15:17,744 --> 01:15:19,370 Let's just go, okay? Let's just... 1703 01:15:20,580 --> 01:15:21,748 EMMETT: Okay. GRANT: Stay? 1704 01:15:25,502 --> 01:15:28,922 Okay. We keep Grant occupied with his old man music until Annie gets here 1705 01:15:29,005 --> 01:15:31,007 and then boom, big romantic moment. Got it? Great. 1706 01:15:31,090 --> 01:15:33,510 Hey, wait, wait. I thought you liked Grant, so... 1707 01:15:33,593 --> 01:15:35,762 I just kind of liked the idea of him. 1708 01:15:35,845 --> 01:15:38,473 Look, Annie's my best friend, and if she wants him, she gets him. 1709 01:15:39,140 --> 01:15:40,183 So maybe dating a nice guy 1710 01:15:40,266 --> 01:15:41,601 just isn't in the cards for Stephanie Stifler. 1711 01:15:41,684 --> 01:15:44,521 Look, a queen bee walking around like she owns the place. 1712 01:15:44,604 --> 01:15:47,649 Ooh, burn. Except I do own the place, you fucking idiot. 1713 01:15:48,274 --> 01:15:50,109 Is this your stud for the night, Stifler? 1714 01:15:50,193 --> 01:15:51,694 I didn't think your standards could fall any lower. 1715 01:15:52,445 --> 01:15:54,697 Well, I haven't slept with you yet, so I got that going for me. 1716 01:15:54,781 --> 01:15:56,699 Yeah, whatever you wanna tell people. 1717 01:15:58,368 --> 01:16:01,454 McCormick, are you telling people we hooked up? 1718 01:16:01,913 --> 01:16:03,414 I never said I don't kiss and tell. 1719 01:16:04,207 --> 01:16:05,500 - Fuck you. - No, no. 1720 01:16:05,625 --> 01:16:07,585 Hey. You're being rude. 1721 01:16:07,669 --> 01:16:09,087 - Emmett, don't... - No, no, no, it's okay. 1722 01:16:09,754 --> 01:16:12,882 You have five seconds to apologize or I unleash hell. 1723 01:16:17,178 --> 01:16:18,179 Five! 1724 01:16:18,263 --> 01:16:19,264 - (McCORMICK GRUNTS) - Emmett! 1725 01:16:19,973 --> 01:16:23,393 - Wow. He, uh, hit me with his face. - GRANT: What the hell? 1726 01:16:23,601 --> 01:16:25,270 Grant, can you just watch him for a sec? Thanks. 1727 01:16:25,353 --> 01:16:26,604 Hey, asshole! 1728 01:16:27,397 --> 01:16:28,565 I don't like bullies, 1729 01:16:28,648 --> 01:16:31,151 and I don't like misogynistic douchebags drinking my liquor 1730 01:16:31,234 --> 01:16:32,902 and disrespecting me in my own house. 1731 01:16:32,986 --> 01:16:34,821 - I don't like you, McCormick! - (GRUNTS) 1732 01:16:35,238 --> 01:16:36,489 Yes, bitch! 1733 01:16:36,573 --> 01:16:37,740 (ALL CHEERING) 1734 01:16:37,824 --> 01:16:38,825 (GROANS) 1735 01:16:39,784 --> 01:16:41,327 But you know who I do like? 1736 01:16:43,121 --> 01:16:44,122 Ow. 1737 01:16:46,666 --> 01:16:47,667 STEPHANIE: Hey. 1738 01:16:48,960 --> 01:16:50,211 (ALL CHEERING) 1739 01:16:56,092 --> 01:16:57,677 EMMETT: You kissed me. 1740 01:16:58,178 --> 01:16:59,554 You stood up for me. 1741 01:16:59,888 --> 01:17:00,889 I mean, you were my wingman 1742 01:17:00,972 --> 01:17:02,807 even though you liked me more than a wingman. 1743 01:17:03,641 --> 01:17:05,143 And you bought me a present. 1744 01:17:06,978 --> 01:17:08,438 I think I just won. 1745 01:17:19,782 --> 01:17:20,783 JASON: You Grant? 1746 01:17:22,660 --> 01:17:23,661 Do I know you? 1747 01:17:27,707 --> 01:17:28,708 (INAUDIBLE) 1748 01:17:35,298 --> 01:17:36,299 Oh, no. 1749 01:17:39,636 --> 01:17:41,095 What is he doing here? 1750 01:17:42,430 --> 01:17:43,932 JASON: Yeah, man, so there you have it. 1751 01:17:44,015 --> 01:17:45,517 Now you kind of know the people you're dealing with. 1752 01:17:45,934 --> 01:17:47,310 What the hell are you doing? 1753 01:17:47,894 --> 01:17:49,187 Oh. Uh... 1754 01:17:49,270 --> 01:17:51,940 I just thought your new boyfriend should know the truth. 1755 01:17:52,524 --> 01:17:55,068 Annie, did you and your friends make a bet about me? 1756 01:17:55,151 --> 01:17:56,152 ANNIE: It wasn't a bet. 1757 01:17:56,861 --> 01:17:58,696 - It was a pact. - JASON: Oh, bullshit. 1758 01:17:58,988 --> 01:18:00,031 Okay, all of these little bitches 1759 01:18:00,114 --> 01:18:01,866 competed to see who could have sex with you first. 1760 01:18:01,950 --> 01:18:03,618 Annie texted me about it every night. 1761 01:18:03,701 --> 01:18:05,578 - It's not what it sounds like. - Really? 1762 01:18:05,662 --> 01:18:09,707 We made a pact to go after what each of us were missing, 1763 01:18:09,791 --> 01:18:13,795 and without knowing it, we all kind of decided it was you. 1764 01:18:16,256 --> 01:18:19,425 And what was your thing, your pact? 1765 01:18:20,468 --> 01:18:22,345 For my first time to be with a man I love. 1766 01:18:23,429 --> 01:18:26,599 - So that's why you went to see him. - JASON: Yeah. 1767 01:18:26,808 --> 01:18:29,144 She's only talking to you because she caught me with another girl. 1768 01:18:29,435 --> 01:18:30,687 You're just the fallback guy. 1769 01:18:30,770 --> 01:18:34,107 But, lucky for you, I'm not into high school drama, 1770 01:18:34,190 --> 01:18:36,442 so you want her, you can have her. 1771 01:18:37,360 --> 01:18:38,862 - You know what? - Whoa. 1772 01:18:39,779 --> 01:18:41,322 Annie's not yours to give. 1773 01:18:41,406 --> 01:18:43,867 And you say one more disparaging word about her, 1774 01:18:43,950 --> 01:18:46,161 this high school kid is gonna kick your ass. 1775 01:18:46,494 --> 01:18:48,329 Just speaking my truth, bro. 1776 01:18:48,413 --> 01:18:49,914 If she liked you as much as you thought she did, 1777 01:18:49,998 --> 01:18:53,084 would she be driving three hours to have sex with me? 1778 01:18:53,168 --> 01:18:55,211 No. You're just a piece of meat. 1779 01:18:56,504 --> 01:18:57,547 Whoa! Hello! 1780 01:18:57,630 --> 01:18:59,465 - My uncle's an attorney. He almost hit me. - Shut up. 1781 01:18:59,549 --> 01:19:00,550 STEPHANIE: No. Back. Break it up. 1782 01:19:00,633 --> 01:19:01,801 I hope you guys are really happy. 1783 01:19:01,885 --> 01:19:02,886 Look, Grant, we get that you're pissed... 1784 01:19:02,969 --> 01:19:05,388 No, don't... You paid Emmett to get dirt on me. 1785 01:19:05,471 --> 01:19:06,472 Whoa. Uh... (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) 1786 01:19:06,764 --> 01:19:07,765 Don't. 1787 01:19:08,474 --> 01:19:11,352 You know, every person I liked in this town lied to me. 1788 01:19:12,270 --> 01:19:13,813 And the person I liked the most 1789 01:19:14,105 --> 01:19:16,065 - chose this guy. - Grant. 1790 01:19:16,149 --> 01:19:18,985 - Enjoy the party. - Please don't leave. Grant. 1791 01:19:26,284 --> 01:19:28,786 KAYLA: Why didn't you just tell us what happened with Jason? 1792 01:19:28,870 --> 01:19:30,121 Yeah. 1793 01:19:30,205 --> 01:19:31,789 I didn't know how to. 1794 01:19:32,373 --> 01:19:34,375 You guys were all so interested in Grant. 1795 01:19:34,918 --> 01:19:36,336 I didn't wanna mess it up for you. 1796 01:19:36,419 --> 01:19:38,379 Oh, my God. You should've just told us. 1797 01:19:38,463 --> 01:19:39,923 Yeah, that's all we would've needed, Annie. 1798 01:19:40,006 --> 01:19:41,007 Yeah. 1799 01:19:41,090 --> 01:19:43,760 I mean, you know, this is my fault for pushing the pact. 1800 01:19:43,843 --> 01:19:44,928 ALL: No. 1801 01:19:45,011 --> 01:19:48,223 No, Steph. The pact worked. 1802 01:19:48,306 --> 01:19:51,184 I mean, you found Emmett, who's a nice guy. 1803 01:19:51,267 --> 01:19:52,894 - He is. - ALL: Mmm-hmm. 1804 01:19:52,977 --> 01:19:54,020 (CHUCKLES) 1805 01:19:54,103 --> 01:19:56,564 And Kayla got Tim to compromise. 1806 01:19:56,648 --> 01:19:58,900 Oh, my God. You're right. 1807 01:20:00,109 --> 01:20:04,614 And, Michelle, are you as attracted to Oliver's mind as you are to his body? 1808 01:20:04,697 --> 01:20:09,744 Oh, he turns me on in ways that I can't even describe. (CHUCKLES) 1809 01:20:09,828 --> 01:20:11,454 See? It worked. 1810 01:20:12,247 --> 01:20:13,706 Yeah, for everyone but you. 1811 01:20:13,790 --> 01:20:15,166 No, it worked for me, too. 1812 01:20:16,543 --> 01:20:19,337 I went to Michigan State with this image in my head, 1813 01:20:19,420 --> 01:20:24,467 and it all fell apart because he was the wrong guy. 1814 01:20:25,009 --> 01:20:28,054 And that's big, so I'm glad we did it. 1815 01:20:28,930 --> 01:20:32,225 I mean, even if, you know, I don't end up with Grant, 1816 01:20:32,308 --> 01:20:34,018 I'm better than I was. 1817 01:20:34,102 --> 01:20:35,103 Aw, come here. 1818 01:20:35,186 --> 01:20:36,437 - STEPHANIE: Aw. - (MICHELLE CHUCKLES) 1819 01:20:36,771 --> 01:20:38,982 Little Virgin Annie. 1820 01:20:39,065 --> 01:20:41,568 - With the unshuckable oyster. - Shut up. 1821 01:20:41,651 --> 01:20:44,821 - I want in. Unshuckable oyster. - (LAUGHTER) 1822 01:20:44,904 --> 01:20:46,823 Get in here, Stifler. 1823 01:20:46,906 --> 01:20:48,616 - MICHELLE: Yeah, come on. - (UPBEAT POP SONG PLAYING) 1824 01:20:48,700 --> 01:20:49,868 Say what What? 1825 01:20:49,951 --> 01:20:50,952 Straight from the jump 1826 01:20:51,035 --> 01:20:52,537 Right on the tempo Mix it all up 1827 01:20:52,620 --> 01:20:53,621 Say hey Hey 1828 01:20:53,705 --> 01:20:54,747 {\an8}No time to wait 1829 01:20:54,831 --> 01:20:56,457 {\an8}Taking your move to a different place 1830 01:20:56,541 --> 01:20:57,542 {\an8}Say hey Hey 1831 01:20:57,625 --> 01:20:58,626 {\an8}Do what it takes 1832 01:20:58,710 --> 01:21:00,211 {\an8}Make like Tay 'n' shake 1833 01:21:00,295 --> 01:21:03,923 Get up and go, go, go, go 1834 01:21:04,007 --> 01:21:07,844 Get up and go, go, go, go 1835 01:21:07,927 --> 01:21:11,556 Get up and go, go, go, go 1836 01:21:11,806 --> 01:21:13,141 - (INDISTINCT CHATTER) - (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING) 1837 01:21:14,976 --> 01:21:17,228 - Light the fuse. - Copy that. 1838 01:21:18,271 --> 01:21:20,773 Mama Bear, Papa Bear, Operation Oyster is a go. 1839 01:21:31,534 --> 01:21:33,119 (MUSIC PLAYING IN DISTANCE) 1840 01:21:43,922 --> 01:21:45,340 (DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE) 1841 01:21:54,474 --> 01:21:55,683 This guy. 1842 01:21:57,185 --> 01:21:58,311 Hey. 1843 01:21:58,978 --> 01:22:00,897 Annie's dad's outside with a limo. 1844 01:22:01,731 --> 01:22:04,818 - What is that? - It's a onesie, you moron. 1845 01:22:04,901 --> 01:22:07,862 - For the pajama party. - Why do you have it? 1846 01:22:07,946 --> 01:22:09,656 (SIGHS) Honey, you know that I love you 1847 01:22:09,739 --> 01:22:11,491 and I'm always gonna tell you the truth, right? 1848 01:22:12,242 --> 01:22:14,118 - I know. - So the truth is, 1849 01:22:14,619 --> 01:22:18,581 it's time for you to stop moping because, baby, you're a real downer. 1850 01:22:19,499 --> 01:22:22,126 Listen, happiness doesn't just find us. 1851 01:22:22,210 --> 01:22:24,462 You gotta go and you gotta grab it. 1852 01:22:24,754 --> 01:22:25,797 Take this. 1853 01:22:27,006 --> 01:22:28,883 - Take this. - Okay. 1854 01:22:29,884 --> 01:22:31,052 - I love you. - What do I... 1855 01:22:31,135 --> 01:22:32,595 You'll figure it out. Or not. 1856 01:22:32,679 --> 01:22:34,597 I don't know. I've done everything I can do. 1857 01:22:34,681 --> 01:22:36,099 (MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING) 1858 01:22:41,813 --> 01:22:42,814 Okay, this is your moment, Grant, 1859 01:22:42,897 --> 01:22:43,898 - and you're blowing it. - Mmm-hmm. 1860 01:22:43,982 --> 01:22:46,192 But luckily, Annie has some pretty awesome friends... 1861 01:22:46,276 --> 01:22:47,277 - Thank you. - Oh, you're welcome. 1862 01:22:47,360 --> 01:22:49,279 ...who are trying to save you from this terrible mistake. 1863 01:22:49,612 --> 01:22:50,905 Plus, we think you're pretty great, too. 1864 01:22:50,989 --> 01:22:52,323 And we sent you a really cool onesie, so... 1865 01:22:52,407 --> 01:22:53,741 Okay, just shut up! 1866 01:22:53,825 --> 01:22:54,868 Game time, Grant. 1867 01:22:54,951 --> 01:22:55,952 If you really like Annie, 1868 01:22:56,035 --> 01:22:57,537 put on that onesie and get in that fucking limo. 1869 01:22:57,620 --> 01:22:58,621 - See you soon! - If you don't do it... 1870 01:22:58,705 --> 01:22:59,706 Gladiator! 1871 01:22:59,789 --> 01:23:00,790 (VIDEO ENDS) 1872 01:23:07,964 --> 01:23:09,382 (MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING) 1873 01:23:10,216 --> 01:23:13,386 MAN: Hey, asshole! Turn off the music! 1874 01:23:14,304 --> 01:23:15,305 (MUSIC STOPS) 1875 01:23:15,388 --> 01:23:16,389 (SIGHS) 1876 01:23:16,472 --> 01:23:17,807 (UPBEAT POP SONG PLAYING) 1877 01:23:17,891 --> 01:23:21,936 This day feels like nothing but the right vibe 1878 01:23:22,020 --> 01:23:25,857 This could be the good life Doesn't get better than... 1879 01:23:25,940 --> 01:23:28,568 - Hi, darling! - Hi. (CHUCKLES) 1880 01:23:29,569 --> 01:23:30,612 Are you okay? 1881 01:23:31,404 --> 01:23:32,447 Not really. 1882 01:23:33,406 --> 01:23:35,074 I just realized you were right. 1883 01:23:35,241 --> 01:23:36,993 I've made sex too big a thing. 1884 01:23:37,952 --> 01:23:39,537 I tried to turn it into some... 1885 01:23:40,163 --> 01:23:42,665 It's for fairy tales. Stupid. 1886 01:23:42,749 --> 01:23:46,169 No. No, honestly I think you were right about wanting it to be special. 1887 01:23:47,045 --> 01:23:49,547 Look, I never had someone who gets me 1888 01:23:49,881 --> 01:23:51,508 and cares for me, you know, and... 1889 01:23:52,634 --> 01:23:54,344 But Emmett makes me feel like that for the first time. 1890 01:23:55,470 --> 01:23:56,596 Stop. Stop it. 1891 01:23:56,679 --> 01:24:00,517 I mean, it's nice, and I think tonight, we might, you know... 1892 01:24:01,726 --> 01:24:04,229 Steph, that's great. 1893 01:24:04,312 --> 01:24:05,772 Great? Doubtful. 1894 01:24:05,855 --> 01:24:07,148 (BOTH LAUGH) 1895 01:24:08,191 --> 01:24:10,610 Special, yeah. Yeah. 1896 01:24:10,693 --> 01:24:13,154 - Yeah. I'm happy for you. - Thanks, babe. 1897 01:24:14,697 --> 01:24:15,698 STEPHANIE: Oh, shit. 1898 01:24:16,324 --> 01:24:18,409 - (SLOW POP SONG PLAYING) - Are you ready? 1899 01:24:18,993 --> 01:24:21,204 - ANNIE: Uh, ready for what? - Oh, you just wait, my darling. 1900 01:24:22,038 --> 01:24:23,373 You're scaring me. What is... 1901 01:24:23,456 --> 01:24:25,166 - Where are you... - STEPHANIE: Just stay right there. 1902 01:24:26,417 --> 01:24:27,627 (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING) 1903 01:24:27,710 --> 01:24:29,295 We're young and in love 1904 01:24:30,129 --> 01:24:31,714 And we're running like the wind 1905 01:24:31,798 --> 01:24:33,216 We got it all 1906 01:24:35,718 --> 01:24:37,095 We're never alone 1907 01:24:37,178 --> 01:24:38,179 - (CHUCKLES) What? - (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING) 1908 01:24:38,263 --> 01:24:41,099 If we got each other we can save the world 1909 01:24:43,893 --> 01:24:47,730 Explosions in the sky 1910 01:24:47,897 --> 01:24:51,109 I see colors fly 1911 01:24:52,485 --> 01:24:54,154 Old enough, old enough 1912 01:24:54,487 --> 01:24:57,198 Old enough to know that we are young in love 1913 01:24:57,282 --> 01:25:00,160 Young in love Young and in love 1914 01:25:00,493 --> 01:25:02,078 You and me, we can see 1915 01:25:02,495 --> 01:25:03,705 Time will stand still 1916 01:25:03,788 --> 01:25:05,373 If we stay young in love 1917 01:25:05,456 --> 01:25:08,168 Young in love Young and in love 1918 01:25:08,793 --> 01:25:10,587 Yeah, we are young and in love 1919 01:25:10,670 --> 01:25:12,380 Yeah, we are young and in love 1920 01:25:12,589 --> 01:25:14,382 Yeah, we are young and in love 1921 01:25:14,841 --> 01:25:15,842 ANNIE: You made it. 1922 01:25:17,093 --> 01:25:18,469 You have some really great friends. 1923 01:25:19,929 --> 01:25:21,181 Seems like we both do. 1924 01:25:22,223 --> 01:25:23,600 (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING) 1925 01:25:23,892 --> 01:25:27,353 Old enough, old enough Old enough to know that 1926 01:25:27,437 --> 01:25:28,605 We are young in love 1927 01:25:28,688 --> 01:25:31,399 Young in love Young and in love 1928 01:25:31,816 --> 01:25:34,944 You and me, we can see Time will stand still 1929 01:25:35,028 --> 01:25:37,697 If we stay young in love Young in love 1930 01:25:37,780 --> 01:25:39,324 I guess that's my cue. 1931 01:25:39,824 --> 01:25:41,117 (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING) 1932 01:25:41,201 --> 01:25:43,328 Yeah, we are young and in love 1933 01:25:43,411 --> 01:25:45,330 Yeah, we are young and in love 1934 01:25:45,413 --> 01:25:47,290 Yeah, we are young and in love 1935 01:25:47,373 --> 01:25:49,417 Yeah, we are young and in love 1936 01:25:49,501 --> 01:25:51,169 Yeah, we are young and in love 1937 01:25:51,252 --> 01:25:53,254 Yeah, we are young and in love 1938 01:25:53,338 --> 01:25:55,089 Yeah, we are young and in love 1939 01:25:55,173 --> 01:25:57,217 Yeah, we are young and in love 1940 01:25:57,300 --> 01:25:58,301 - (SONG ENDS) - LEAD SINGER: Ladies and gentlemen, 1941 01:25:58,384 --> 01:25:59,552 Annie and Grant. 1942 01:25:59,802 --> 01:26:00,803 (ALL CHEERING) 1943 01:26:00,887 --> 01:26:02,180 (ROCK SONG PLAYING) 1944 01:26:05,517 --> 01:26:09,062 Well, she was an American girl 1945 01:26:10,063 --> 01:26:12,398 Raised on promises 1946 01:26:13,733 --> 01:26:16,569 She couldn't help thinking that there 1947 01:26:16,653 --> 01:26:20,949 Was a little more to life somewhere else 1948 01:26:21,699 --> 01:26:24,911 After all, it was a great, big world 1949 01:26:25,662 --> 01:26:28,331 With lots of places to run to 1950 01:26:29,415 --> 01:26:32,710 Yeah, and if she had to die trying 1951 01:26:32,836 --> 01:26:37,924 She had one little promise she was gonna keep 1952 01:26:38,550 --> 01:26:41,803 Oh, yeah, all right 1953 01:26:42,303 --> 01:26:43,805 Take it easy, baby 1954 01:26:44,264 --> 01:26:45,515 Make it last all night 1955 01:26:46,683 --> 01:26:53,648 She was an American girl 1956 01:26:54,816 --> 01:26:57,861 - Oh, yeah, all right - (ALL SINGING ALONG) 1957 01:26:58,570 --> 01:27:00,071 Take it easy, baby 1958 01:27:00,655 --> 01:27:02,115 Make it last all night 1959 01:27:03,032 --> 01:27:08,955 She was an American girl 1960 01:27:11,875 --> 01:27:13,334 - (SONG ENDS) - (ALL CHEERING) 1961 01:27:14,210 --> 01:27:15,920 (CHUCKLING) What did you do? 1962 01:27:16,004 --> 01:27:17,755 - Mmm-hmm. - Oh, God. 1963 01:27:19,340 --> 01:27:20,341 (MICHELLE LAUGHING) 1964 01:27:20,925 --> 01:27:22,093 - Okay. - Okay, okay. 1965 01:27:22,177 --> 01:27:23,344 - Hey. - Hey. 1966 01:27:23,428 --> 01:27:26,306 So, I... I guess they have one more surprise for us. 1967 01:27:27,599 --> 01:27:28,600 Okay. 1968 01:27:28,975 --> 01:27:30,643 - KAYLA: Bye. - Bye. 1969 01:27:30,935 --> 01:27:32,645 - (ANNIE CHUCKLES) - What's happening right now? 1970 01:27:33,730 --> 01:27:35,190 (SLOW POP SONG PLAYING) 1971 01:27:36,357 --> 01:27:39,569 I've fallen too deep 1972 01:27:39,652 --> 01:27:40,904 Trying to swim 1973 01:27:40,987 --> 01:27:43,990 The current too steep and it's pulling me in 1974 01:27:44,407 --> 01:27:46,367 I can breathe 1975 01:27:46,451 --> 01:27:50,955 Both hands around my heart My heart 1976 01:27:51,039 --> 01:27:53,875 I can still feel the heat on your skin 1977 01:27:53,958 --> 01:27:57,295 My lips are begging to pull you in 1978 01:27:57,378 --> 01:27:58,963 I can breathe 1979 01:27:59,506 --> 01:28:03,510 Your hands around my heart My heart 1980 01:28:03,593 --> 01:28:04,594 I'mma hold the door... 1981 01:28:04,677 --> 01:28:05,762 GRANT: What? 1982 01:28:06,137 --> 01:28:07,263 (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING) 1983 01:28:07,347 --> 01:28:12,727 For you there is no cure... 1984 01:28:14,604 --> 01:28:15,772 What are we, like... 1985 01:28:16,105 --> 01:28:17,106 Oh. 1986 01:28:17,482 --> 01:28:21,569 I made a pact, so I gotta stick to it. 1987 01:28:22,570 --> 01:28:24,155 You want your first time to be with me? 1988 01:28:24,489 --> 01:28:27,909 Yeah. And the next few, I think. 1989 01:28:37,794 --> 01:28:41,673 Hey. This feels special to me. 1990 01:28:43,216 --> 01:28:44,467 Me, too, Annie. 1991 01:28:48,054 --> 01:28:51,307 Oliver, I wanna share something with you, 1992 01:28:51,850 --> 01:28:53,476 something that I've never shared with anyone else. 1993 01:28:54,894 --> 01:28:55,895 Oh. 1994 01:28:56,187 --> 01:28:57,397 You want me to use that on you? 1995 01:28:59,065 --> 01:29:00,275 On me? 1996 01:29:02,026 --> 01:29:04,529 And I want you right here, right now. 1997 01:29:05,196 --> 01:29:06,322 On Principal Fisher's desk? 1998 01:29:06,447 --> 01:29:08,575 - Yes, on her desk! Get up there! - Okay. Okay. 1999 01:29:08,741 --> 01:29:10,118 And I know you know what I want. 2000 01:29:10,201 --> 01:29:14,247 You mean, "A man may die, nations may rise and fall, 2001 01:29:14,330 --> 01:29:16,207 - "but an idea lives on!" - Yes. 2002 01:29:16,291 --> 01:29:18,042 - Yes! - (POP SONG PLAYING) 2003 01:29:18,334 --> 01:29:20,795 And we dared to go 2004 01:29:22,088 --> 01:29:23,965 A lover's bane 2005 01:29:24,299 --> 01:29:26,217 Forever will remain... 2006 01:29:26,301 --> 01:29:27,427 (MOANING) 2007 01:29:27,510 --> 01:29:29,012 Amazing. Shit. 2008 01:29:29,345 --> 01:29:31,973 (MOANING) Wow. Shit! 2009 01:29:32,390 --> 01:29:33,516 (MOANS) 2010 01:29:34,350 --> 01:29:36,478 Thanks. Learned that at band camp. 2011 01:29:36,561 --> 01:29:37,937 Yeah, I don't need to know that. 2012 01:29:38,021 --> 01:29:40,482 Kiss me now. Okay? 2013 01:29:41,232 --> 01:29:42,400 STEPHANIE: Now. 2014 01:29:45,612 --> 01:29:46,821 Wait, wait, wait, hold on. 2015 01:29:46,905 --> 01:29:49,282 - I need to tell you something. - What? 2016 01:29:49,365 --> 01:29:50,867 I've... I've never done it. 2017 01:29:51,367 --> 01:29:52,368 Me neither. 2018 01:29:53,495 --> 01:29:55,663 I mean, I've never had it with someone special, you know? 2019 01:29:57,248 --> 01:29:58,249 (PANTING) 2020 01:30:03,087 --> 01:30:04,255 {\an8}Oh. 2021 01:30:04,714 --> 01:30:05,882 {\an8}MICHELLE: Yes! 2022 01:30:05,965 --> 01:30:07,008 Yeah? 2023 01:30:07,091 --> 01:30:08,259 (MOANING LOUDLY) 2024 01:30:09,219 --> 01:30:10,970 KAYLA: You like this? TIM: Oh. Yeah. 2025 01:30:11,054 --> 01:30:12,096 KAYLA: This is hot. TIM: Yeah. 2026 01:30:12,180 --> 01:30:13,264 - Dangerous. - Yeah. 2027 01:30:14,140 --> 01:30:17,477 A little unsanitary, but, yeah. 2028 01:30:17,560 --> 01:30:19,187 I like it here. I like you. 2029 01:30:19,270 --> 01:30:20,313 I love you. 2030 01:30:20,396 --> 01:30:24,234 You are my queen! 2031 01:30:24,317 --> 01:30:27,237 - (MOANING LOUDLY) - I am your queen! 2032 01:30:27,320 --> 01:30:28,321 - KAYLA: Whoo! - (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING) 2033 01:30:28,404 --> 01:30:29,781 Ahoo 2034 01:30:29,864 --> 01:30:31,908 Stars are falling 2035 01:30:32,033 --> 01:30:35,495 Are we falling, too? 2036 01:30:35,578 --> 01:30:40,041 Ahoo, dawn is coming 2037 01:30:40,250 --> 01:30:43,670 What's this coming to? 2038 01:30:43,753 --> 01:30:47,674 On a night like this 2039 01:30:47,924 --> 01:30:51,427 On a night like this... 2040 01:30:51,553 --> 01:30:52,595 (MOANING SOFTLY) 2041 01:30:53,179 --> 01:30:55,557 - There's something else. - What? 2042 01:30:58,351 --> 01:30:59,602 Oh. Oh. 2043 01:30:59,686 --> 01:31:01,020 No, don't worry if... 2044 01:31:01,104 --> 01:31:04,482 Look, whatever's going down, down there we'll make it work. Okay? 2045 01:31:04,774 --> 01:31:06,109 - Yeah? - I promise. 2046 01:31:06,860 --> 01:31:08,278 - Okay. - Okay. 2047 01:31:08,653 --> 01:31:09,654 (UNZIPS PANTS) 2048 01:31:14,200 --> 01:31:15,201 Wow. 2049 01:31:15,285 --> 01:31:17,328 (CHUCKLES) Is your dad a giant? 2050 01:31:17,412 --> 01:31:18,705 Like, will it fit? 2051 01:31:18,872 --> 01:31:20,165 Here's to hoping. (CHUCKLES) 2052 01:31:20,373 --> 01:31:21,374 (MOANING) 2053 01:31:21,457 --> 01:31:23,168 Oh, you're my president. 2054 01:31:23,835 --> 01:31:25,086 - You'll always be my president. - (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING) 2055 01:31:25,253 --> 01:31:27,380 Ahoo 2056 01:31:27,463 --> 01:31:29,507 Stars are falling 2057 01:31:29,591 --> 01:31:32,802 Are we falling too? 2058 01:31:33,261 --> 01:31:36,723 On a night like this 2059 01:31:37,265 --> 01:31:41,060 On a night like this 2060 01:31:41,561 --> 01:31:45,523 Ahoo 2061 01:31:50,987 --> 01:31:52,071 (SONG ENDS) 2062 01:31:53,448 --> 01:31:55,116 {\an8}(UPBEAT POP SONG PLAYING) 2063 01:32:04,292 --> 01:32:05,960 {\an8}(CROWD WHOOPING AND CHEERING) 2064 01:35:05,765 --> 01:35:07,225 (MAN YELLS) 2065 01:35:07,308 --> 01:35:08,518 - (WHIP CRACKING) - (MUFFLED GRUNT) 2066 01:35:08,601 --> 01:35:10,228 Say you want this on your permanent record. 2067 01:35:10,311 --> 01:35:11,938 (MUFFLED) I want this on my permanent record. 2068 01:35:12,021 --> 01:35:13,189 - Yeah, you do. - (GROANS) 2069 01:35:13,273 --> 01:35:14,357 What's going on? Oh. 2070 01:35:14,649 --> 01:35:17,443 Hey, Janitor Steve. We'll just be a minute. 2071 01:35:17,527 --> 01:35:18,736 (MUFFLED) Hi, Janitor Steve. 2072 01:35:20,822 --> 01:35:22,240 I'm gonna need a bigger mop. 2073 01:35:24,325 --> 01:35:25,618 - (KEVIN GROANS) - ELLEN: Don't touch me! 2074 01:35:26,121 --> 01:35:30,796 Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org 153671

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