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2
00:00:08,843 --> 00:00:11,385
Mm. Hmm.
3
00:00:11,554 --> 00:00:12,970
So ionic.
4
00:00:14,724 --> 00:00:16,868
If I wanted to be bored
on a Saturday, I would have
5
00:00:16,892 --> 00:00:18,954
signed up for that management
training program at work.
6
00:00:18,978 --> 00:00:22,646
At least there I know
where the good toilets are.
7
00:00:22,773 --> 00:00:24,481
Wait, what training program?
8
00:00:24,608 --> 00:00:26,712
Oh, it's some dumb
career development thing
9
00:00:26,736 --> 00:00:28,714
at the plant,
so you can become a manager
10
00:00:28,738 --> 00:00:31,071
and have more responsibility.
11
00:00:31,157 --> 00:00:32,322
Who needs that trap?
12
00:00:32,491 --> 00:00:34,575
But we could really
use more money.
13
00:00:34,702 --> 00:00:37,745
You've had the same entry-level
job your whole career.
14
00:00:37,830 --> 00:00:39,683
Hey, don't knock
entry level, marge.
15
00:00:39,707 --> 00:00:42,458
At least I don't have
to wear long-sleeve shirts,
16
00:00:42,626 --> 00:00:45,377
go to webinars
and supervise a bunch
17
00:00:45,463 --> 00:00:47,379
of entry-level losers,
18
00:00:47,506 --> 00:00:49,590
with their short-sleeve shirts.
19
00:00:49,675 --> 00:00:52,551
Homer, I can't be
the only one in this family
20
00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:54,803
who wants more for us.
21
00:00:54,930 --> 00:00:56,430
I want more.
22
00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:58,682
I just don't want
to do anything to earn it.
23
00:00:58,809 --> 00:01:00,350
For once in your life,
24
00:01:00,519 --> 00:01:02,895
would it kill you
to show a little ambition?
25
00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:08,567
Ah, ambition is indeed
a timeless source of conflict.
26
00:01:08,694 --> 00:01:10,652
A lost senior.
27
00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:13,113
Where is your family?
28
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:15,449
As a matter of fact,
I just curated
29
00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:17,456
an exhibit about a roman family
30
00:01:17,620 --> 00:01:20,162
torn asunder
by the hunger for more.
31
00:01:20,289 --> 00:01:23,332
The life of obeseus the wide.
32
00:01:23,459 --> 00:01:26,251
Ooh, maybe
an historical allegory
33
00:01:26,337 --> 00:01:28,337
could help us
work out our issues.
34
00:01:28,464 --> 00:01:30,025
Once again, bickering in public
35
00:01:30,049 --> 00:01:32,674
gets us free therapy
from strangers.
36
00:01:32,802 --> 00:01:34,468
Bickering most tragic.
37
00:01:34,553 --> 00:01:38,722
For ambition was the force
that built the roman empire
38
00:01:38,808 --> 00:01:41,058
and that which tore it apart.
39
00:01:41,227 --> 00:01:43,685
Obeseus was born
to a poor farmer
40
00:01:43,771 --> 00:01:46,313
with much land,
but no ox to plow it.
41
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:49,066
So he improvised.
42
00:01:49,193 --> 00:01:51,235
Life on the farm was cruel.
43
00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,654
But it chiseled
young obeseus into quite
44
00:01:53,781 --> 00:01:55,906
the italian beefcake.
45
00:01:55,991 --> 00:01:57,407
Good news, plow son.
46
00:01:57,535 --> 00:02:00,452
We finally got enough money
to buy us an ox.
47
00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:02,788
Woo-hoo!
How'd you do that, father?
48
00:02:02,957 --> 00:02:04,456
I sold you into slavery.
49
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:07,000
Arrivederci, sucker.
50
00:02:10,506 --> 00:02:12,025
A frightened obeseus
51
00:02:12,049 --> 00:02:13,632
and his new work friends
52
00:02:13,717 --> 00:02:15,425
were taken to rome.
53
00:02:15,511 --> 00:02:18,720
The boys had never seen
anything like it... the crowds,
54
00:02:18,848 --> 00:02:20,347
the noise, the grand scale
55
00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:23,225
of the pornographic graffiti.
56
00:02:23,394 --> 00:02:26,186
But the worst was yet to come.
57
00:02:26,355 --> 00:02:28,564
Gentlemen,
today you have the honor
58
00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:31,358
of being hacked to death
on the field of battle.
59
00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:33,986
Us? But we're not gladiators.
60
00:02:34,113 --> 00:02:35,487
Not with that attitude.
61
00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:37,948
Remember, there are
no small wounds,
62
00:02:38,075 --> 00:02:41,076
only small victims.
63
00:02:47,293 --> 00:02:48,750
Hailing from germania,
64
00:02:48,836 --> 00:02:51,837
he's the saxon
who's always axe-in'...
65
00:02:51,964 --> 00:02:54,506
Wolfus rein!
66
00:02:56,844 --> 00:02:57,968
And in the shaking tunic,
67
00:02:58,053 --> 00:03:00,637
hailing from who knows,
nobody cares...
68
00:03:00,723 --> 00:03:02,556
That guy.
69
00:03:07,938 --> 00:03:09,813
Someone's in here.
70
00:03:13,569 --> 00:03:15,152
Aah!
71
00:03:16,488 --> 00:03:18,448
Obeseus didn't know much,
72
00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:20,574
but he knew how to be an ox.
73
00:03:27,333 --> 00:03:29,166
Juno, mother of apollo.
74
00:03:30,461 --> 00:03:32,711
All right, pal,
should we call it a tie?
75
00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:34,713
A-aah!
76
00:03:36,508 --> 00:03:38,508
All hail our new champion,
77
00:03:38,636 --> 00:03:40,385
mr. Plow himself,
78
00:03:40,512 --> 00:03:42,679
obeseus!
79
00:03:42,806 --> 00:03:44,932
Yeah!
80
00:03:45,059 --> 00:03:46,558
Oh...
81
00:03:46,685 --> 00:03:48,565
That chiseled bumpkin
just killed
82
00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:50,687
my prized psychopath.
83
00:03:50,814 --> 00:03:52,481
Feed him to the hippos.
84
00:03:52,608 --> 00:03:55,192
No, father, look how
the crowd loves him.
85
00:03:55,319 --> 00:03:58,654
That hunky rube could put
a lot of togas in the seats.
86
00:03:58,822 --> 00:04:02,032
Majora, you have quite the mind
87
00:04:02,117 --> 00:04:04,076
for the family business.
88
00:04:04,203 --> 00:04:07,663
The man-ox will live
to fight another day.
89
00:04:09,667 --> 00:04:10,667
Mm.
90
00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:13,438
Obeseus' fame grew
91
00:04:13,462 --> 00:04:15,837
as he rose through
the gladiatorial ranks.
92
00:04:15,965 --> 00:04:17,506
Women wanted him
93
00:04:17,633 --> 00:04:20,384
and men wanted
to be killed by him.
94
00:04:22,471 --> 00:04:25,097
But still he yearned for that
95
00:04:25,224 --> 00:04:27,099
which he longed for.
96
00:04:28,227 --> 00:04:30,560
Eye... Heart... U!
97
00:04:30,688 --> 00:04:32,688
Oh...
98
00:04:35,651 --> 00:04:38,777
you guys think
we'll ever be free again?
99
00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:40,924
The only way
we're leaving this place
100
00:04:40,948 --> 00:04:43,031
is carried out in chunks.
101
00:04:43,117 --> 00:04:44,616
Uh, don't mind me, fellas.
102
00:04:44,743 --> 00:04:46,863
Another clog in the chunk chute.
103
00:04:46,912 --> 00:04:50,080
They got to start cutting
you guys into smaller pieces.
104
00:04:50,207 --> 00:04:52,749
Let us make a sacred pact
before the gods.
105
00:04:52,918 --> 00:04:54,459
If one of us ever gets free,
106
00:04:54,586 --> 00:04:57,421
he'll do everything he can
to free the rest of us.
107
00:04:57,548 --> 00:04:59,080
To freedom.
108
00:04:59,174 --> 00:05:00,443
To freedom!
109
00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:02,968
Yeah, to freedom.
110
00:05:03,137 --> 00:05:05,887
Eh, you chunks are no fun.
111
00:05:07,349 --> 00:05:10,225
Well, if it isn't
the champion of rome himself.
112
00:05:10,352 --> 00:05:12,853
Lady majora.
113
00:05:12,938 --> 00:05:14,479
What are you doing here?
114
00:05:14,606 --> 00:05:18,025
I have to keep an eye
on my father's investments.
115
00:05:18,193 --> 00:05:20,319
Plus, I like the way
your pecs dance
116
00:05:20,446 --> 00:05:22,029
after you kill a guy.
117
00:05:22,156 --> 00:05:24,239
These old things?
118
00:05:24,325 --> 00:05:27,534
Blip, blip, bla-bla, blip,
blip, bla-bla, blip.
119
00:05:32,207 --> 00:05:33,707
Mm-hmm.
120
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:36,585
Swish and slash
and spin and kick
121
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:39,629
and slice that belly
and hello, guts.
122
00:05:39,757 --> 00:05:41,943
It would appear that one
of you lowly gladiators
123
00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:45,218
has impregnated my daughter.
124
00:05:45,304 --> 00:05:46,636
Tell me who laid with her,
125
00:05:46,764 --> 00:05:50,057
and the rest of you
will be spared the lash.
126
00:05:50,184 --> 00:05:51,767
Mm...
127
00:05:51,894 --> 00:05:54,353
I had sexicus.
128
00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:58,023
- I had sexicus.
- I had sexicus.
129
00:05:58,192 --> 00:06:00,108
I had sexicus.
130
00:06:00,235 --> 00:06:02,402
- I had sexicus.
- I had sexicus.
131
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:03,945
I had sexicus.
132
00:06:04,073 --> 00:06:05,322
You jerks!
133
00:06:05,449 --> 00:06:06,948
You knew I liked her.
134
00:06:07,076 --> 00:06:09,201
We were covering
for you, jackass.
135
00:06:09,286 --> 00:06:10,535
Oh, right.
136
00:06:10,662 --> 00:06:12,307
Sir, I'm in love
with your daughter.
137
00:06:12,331 --> 00:06:14,790
If you must punish someone,
punish me.
138
00:06:14,958 --> 00:06:18,418
Place his head
on the beheading block.
139
00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:24,299
Which is also
the unlocking block.
140
00:06:24,426 --> 00:06:27,052
Rise, for you are now free...
141
00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:28,220
Woo-hoo!
142
00:06:28,389 --> 00:06:30,931
- ...To marry my daughter.
- D'oh!
143
00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:33,350
I-I mean, great.
144
00:06:33,477 --> 00:06:36,853
What could be more
liberating than marriage?
145
00:06:37,022 --> 00:06:39,626
The young lovers were wed
for all the gods to see.
146
00:06:39,650 --> 00:06:42,609
And plans were made
for their future.
147
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:44,861
So that you may
build a life together,
148
00:06:44,988 --> 00:06:48,323
I give you the deed
to one of my many businesses.
149
00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:50,409
Oh, thank you, daddy.
150
00:06:50,494 --> 00:06:52,786
I have so many great ideas.
151
00:06:52,955 --> 00:06:55,956
Oh, my little vestal non-virgin,
152
00:06:56,125 --> 00:06:58,667
leave the business talk
to the men.
153
00:07:01,046 --> 00:07:04,089
Now, obeseus,
to get things started,
154
00:07:04,216 --> 00:07:07,968
please, take some slaves
on the house.
155
00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:11,096
Aw, slaves? You shouldn't ha...
156
00:07:11,223 --> 00:07:13,223
I can't own my friends.
157
00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:16,059
I swore a sacred oath
to free them.
158
00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:20,897
For a woman to have
any voice in this world,
159
00:07:21,024 --> 00:07:24,109
it would have to come out
of her husband's stupid mouth.
160
00:07:24,236 --> 00:07:27,237
My love, you are so noble
161
00:07:27,322 --> 00:07:29,990
to take on the backbreaking work
of four men,
162
00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:31,199
day in, day out,
163
00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:33,076
no matter how poor and hungry
164
00:07:33,203 --> 00:07:35,495
it shall leave you.
165
00:07:35,581 --> 00:07:38,999
Look, fellas, no one honors
oaths more than me.
166
00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:40,542
No one.
167
00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:42,856
Just give me a little time
till we get on our feet,
168
00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:44,379
then I'll totally free you.
169
00:07:44,506 --> 00:07:46,506
Management thanks you
for your patience.
170
00:07:46,592 --> 00:07:49,634
And, so, in choosing
greed over loyalty,
171
00:07:49,761 --> 00:07:52,345
the young couple
began their rise to power...
172
00:07:52,473 --> 00:07:55,557
And their fall from grace.
173
00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:59,019
Well, now I feel stupid
getting them a wedding gift.
174
00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:09,174
Obeseus entered
the second act of his life
175
00:08:09,198 --> 00:08:10,592
running the dirty,
bloody business
176
00:08:10,616 --> 00:08:12,218
given to him
by his father-in-law...
177
00:08:12,242 --> 00:08:14,117
A laundromat.
178
00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:18,975
In ancient rome,
clothes were washed
179
00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:22,751
with ammonia, which
is derived from human urine.
180
00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:23,920
What's up, dad?
181
00:08:23,962 --> 00:08:25,212
How's the whiz biz?
182
00:08:25,339 --> 00:08:28,632
Mellow and yellow.
183
00:08:28,759 --> 00:08:30,258
Why is the store closed?
184
00:08:30,344 --> 00:08:31,551
It's only noon.
185
00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:33,887
Me and the fellas
are all peed out.
186
00:08:34,056 --> 00:08:37,182
How am I supposed to make things
clean without human waste?
187
00:08:37,309 --> 00:08:39,162
This business has been
failing for years
188
00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:41,436
because you've been
phoning it in.
189
00:08:41,563 --> 00:08:43,104
Figure it out.
190
00:08:43,232 --> 00:08:45,941
Hey, uh, "boss"?
191
00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:47,234
We came up with an idea that
192
00:08:47,361 --> 00:08:49,486
could increase ammonia
production.
193
00:08:49,571 --> 00:08:52,072
All you got to do is put
these jugs outside of taverns,
194
00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:54,199
and you'll get
your urinus gratis.
195
00:08:54,326 --> 00:08:57,494
Crowdsourcing
a streaming service, eh?
196
00:08:57,621 --> 00:08:59,704
I'm a genius!
197
00:08:59,831 --> 00:09:01,957
* *
198
00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:05,126
Stealing the idea
of his indentured friends,
199
00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:07,170
obeseus was soon flush
200
00:09:07,256 --> 00:09:08,733
in liquid assets.
201
00:09:08,757 --> 00:09:10,443
And he was able
to move his family
202
00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:13,468
to the more prosperous
side of town.
203
00:09:41,039 --> 00:09:43,415
Lennus, I'm fatigued.
204
00:09:43,542 --> 00:09:44,949
Yawn for me?
205
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:50,672
Obeseus, we gave you
the idea that made you rich.
206
00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:52,924
How about making good
on your promise,
207
00:09:53,051 --> 00:09:54,718
and freeing us now?
208
00:09:54,803 --> 00:09:56,803
Guys, guys, guys,
thank you so much
209
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:58,305
for bringing this up.
210
00:09:58,390 --> 00:10:00,557
I'm really lucky
to own friends like you.
211
00:10:00,726 --> 00:10:02,767
Tell you what,
I'll have my accountant
212
00:10:02,853 --> 00:10:04,872
crunch the letters,
and we'll circle back.
213
00:10:04,896 --> 00:10:06,104
The important thing is
214
00:10:06,189 --> 00:10:08,523
we started a conversation.
215
00:10:09,901 --> 00:10:11,443
* *
216
00:10:12,738 --> 00:10:15,363
and now let us
thank lord jupiter
217
00:10:15,449 --> 00:10:18,908
for a bountiful harvest
by draining the blood
218
00:10:19,036 --> 00:10:22,078
of this baby goat.
219
00:10:23,248 --> 00:10:25,081
Aw, these seats suck.
220
00:10:25,208 --> 00:10:27,292
Can't even see
the entrails from here.
221
00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:30,503
Well, they save all
the best seats for the senators.
222
00:10:32,090 --> 00:10:33,923
Hmm.
223
00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:36,718
What if you became a senator?
224
00:10:36,887 --> 00:10:39,220
Think about how much
more respected we'd be.
225
00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:42,098
I don't know.
It sounds like a lot of work.
226
00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:43,933
Sitting there all day,
227
00:10:44,019 --> 00:10:46,519
listening, voting on stuff
with my thumb.
228
00:10:46,688 --> 00:10:47,979
But think of the perks.
229
00:10:48,106 --> 00:10:50,690
You'll get invited
to fancier orgies.
230
00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:53,610
- The kinds with women.
- They have those?
231
00:10:53,737 --> 00:10:57,489
And with that, obeseus
marched down the appian way
232
00:10:57,616 --> 00:10:59,616
to plead his case
to the emperor,
233
00:10:59,701 --> 00:11:02,952
confident that he would be
welcomed into the senate.
234
00:11:03,121 --> 00:11:06,581
The pee guy, a senator?
235
00:11:06,708 --> 00:11:09,028
That would be an insult
to the dignity of this office.
236
00:11:09,086 --> 00:11:12,087
Now if you'll excuse me,
senator horse and I
237
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:14,422
are going shopping
for lewd pottery.
238
00:11:15,425 --> 00:11:17,550
Oh...
239
00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:19,803
Stupid emperor.
240
00:11:19,888 --> 00:11:23,264
Thinks he's great
'cause his bangs are so curly.
241
00:11:24,226 --> 00:11:26,351
Oh, majora's gonna be so mad.
242
00:11:26,478 --> 00:11:29,312
I'd do anything to be a senator.
243
00:11:29,398 --> 00:11:30,855
Anything, eh?
244
00:11:30,982 --> 00:11:33,650
You know, as the emperor's
politically adopted son,
245
00:11:33,777 --> 00:11:37,195
I am next in line to the throne
should anything happen to...
246
00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:39,030
daddy.
247
00:11:39,157 --> 00:11:41,825
Like, say, him slipping
and falling back-first
248
00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:43,118
onto a knife.
249
00:11:43,245 --> 00:11:45,704
Oh, that happened to me once.
Sucked.
250
00:11:45,789 --> 00:11:48,331
Kill the emperor
and I'll make you a senator.
251
00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:51,167
Kill the emperor
to become senator?
252
00:11:51,294 --> 00:11:53,378
But what's in it for me?
253
00:11:53,463 --> 00:11:55,223
Jacta alea est.
254
00:11:55,257 --> 00:11:57,424
The die was cast.
255
00:11:57,509 --> 00:12:00,468
* when in rome you do
as the romans do *
256
00:12:00,595 --> 00:12:03,930
* you play as the romans
play together. *
257
00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:05,932
Hey, get out of here, you.
258
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:07,684
This is my private vomitorium
259
00:12:07,853 --> 00:12:10,979
and I've got a belly
full of hot figs.
260
00:12:11,106 --> 00:12:13,940
Come on, you figs.
261
00:12:17,821 --> 00:12:21,114
Et... Tu... Pee guy?
262
00:12:24,786 --> 00:12:26,619
History rules!
263
00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:29,330
Poor majora.
264
00:12:29,458 --> 00:12:31,833
She wanted her husband
to be more ambitious,
265
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:33,626
but not like this.
266
00:12:33,712 --> 00:12:35,795
Well, actually...
267
00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:37,316
Mm-hmm.
268
00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:40,925
Give me a kiss,
you big, stabby go-getter.
269
00:12:41,052 --> 00:12:42,321
Ooh.
270
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:45,555
I love my job.
271
00:12:51,313 --> 00:12:52,707
Over the next ten years,
272
00:12:52,731 --> 00:12:53,791
senator obeseus' power
grew vastly,
273
00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:55,273
as did his toga size.
274
00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,692
And majora reveled
in the high status,
275
00:12:57,819 --> 00:12:59,152
hosting the town's elite
276
00:12:59,321 --> 00:13:01,821
at her lavish saturnalia party.
277
00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:05,700
I love your holiday decorations.
278
00:13:05,786 --> 00:13:08,181
It lets those pesky christians
know they aren't going to win
279
00:13:08,205 --> 00:13:10,038
the war on saturnalia.
280
00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:11,623
So, noble slaves,
281
00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:15,084
what gift do you desire
from your benevolent master?
282
00:13:15,212 --> 00:13:17,712
Uh... Our friggin' freedom.
283
00:13:17,798 --> 00:13:20,298
Yeah, well,
the thing about that is...
284
00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:22,385
Why do we even bother
asking anymore?
285
00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:23,927
He's never gonna free us.
286
00:13:24,054 --> 00:13:26,554
This has been
building up for a while:
287
00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:28,367
You give slave owners
a bad name.
288
00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:30,016
What?
289
00:13:30,101 --> 00:13:32,811
- What a giant jerk.
- Ugh, he's the worst.
290
00:13:32,938 --> 00:13:35,688
Dad, bartigula's out of control.
291
00:13:35,857 --> 00:13:38,358
Look what he's doing
to ptolemaic book guy.
292
00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:40,985
- Ow.
- Why are you flaying yourself?
293
00:13:41,112 --> 00:13:43,154
- Ow!
- Why are you flaying yourself?
294
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:45,031
An interesting paradox.
295
00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:48,368
For does free will
truly exist or... Ow!
296
00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:50,203
Growing up rich and spoiled
297
00:13:50,288 --> 00:13:52,914
has turned your son
into a monster.
298
00:13:53,041 --> 00:13:54,082
It's not my fault.
299
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:55,792
I never spend any time with him.
300
00:13:57,087 --> 00:13:58,461
Aw.
301
00:13:58,547 --> 00:14:00,797
My son's a maniac.
My daughter's not a son.
302
00:14:00,924 --> 00:14:03,091
My slaves hate me
for some reason.
303
00:14:03,260 --> 00:14:05,343
Heavy lies the head
304
00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:08,721
that wears the wig
of curly bangs.
305
00:14:08,849 --> 00:14:09,849
Mm.
306
00:14:09,975 --> 00:14:11,641
I'm spent.
307
00:14:11,726 --> 00:14:15,603
Just gonna take a bath in warm
donkey milk and go to sleep.
308
00:14:15,689 --> 00:14:18,523
I can't believe the emperor
didn't even come to my party.
309
00:14:18,608 --> 00:14:21,317
He wouldn't even be emperor
if not for you.
310
00:14:21,444 --> 00:14:23,005
Yeah, well, what do you want me
to do about it...
311
00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:24,779
Kill the emperor?
312
00:14:24,906 --> 00:14:27,490
Well, if that's what you want.
313
00:14:27,617 --> 00:14:29,909
You can even
use the present I got you.
314
00:14:30,036 --> 00:14:31,911
Sweet jumpin' jupiter!
315
00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:33,204
What more do you want?
316
00:14:33,331 --> 00:14:34,622
We started at the bottom
317
00:14:34,749 --> 00:14:37,208
and now we're
one rung from the top.
318
00:14:37,335 --> 00:14:39,752
It's a natural stopping point.
319
00:14:39,921 --> 00:14:41,921
Will you never be satisfied?
320
00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:44,215
Pardon me, senator.
321
00:14:44,342 --> 00:14:47,719
I'm sorry you find my ambition
so distasteful.
322
00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:48,970
Just remember:
323
00:14:49,097 --> 00:14:52,557
Power comes to those
who take it.
324
00:14:54,811 --> 00:14:56,394
Mmm.
325
00:14:56,521 --> 00:14:58,855
Aw, yeah. Yeah.
326
00:14:58,982 --> 00:15:00,899
Milk, milk, milk.
327
00:15:01,026 --> 00:15:03,234
* *
328
00:15:03,904 --> 00:15:05,403
to the roman empire.
329
00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:08,823
May it last forever,
in some strange form or another.
330
00:15:08,992 --> 00:15:10,658
Ooh.
331
00:15:10,785 --> 00:15:12,493
Can't be too careful these days.
332
00:15:12,621 --> 00:15:14,120
Oh, taster.
333
00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:18,433
Poison.
334
00:15:18,460 --> 00:15:20,335
Some has tried to kill me.
335
00:15:20,462 --> 00:15:22,062
You didn't?
336
00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:23,796
You wouldn't.
337
00:15:23,924 --> 00:15:26,799
When I find whoever did this,
I will crush them like a...
338
00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:36,100
the emperor is dead!
339
00:15:36,186 --> 00:15:38,686
Who will nominate his successor?
340
00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:41,814
Friends, romans, countrymen.
341
00:15:41,942 --> 00:15:43,441
That's me.
342
00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:45,109
We deserve an emperor who can
343
00:15:45,236 --> 00:15:47,654
boldly lead us into the future.
344
00:15:47,822 --> 00:15:49,822
My son, bartigula.
345
00:15:49,950 --> 00:15:51,532
Wha?!
346
00:15:52,994 --> 00:15:54,160
He was born rich,
347
00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:56,788
so he got to be good
at business.
348
00:15:56,873 --> 00:15:58,665
Bartigula!
349
00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:02,377
Bartigula! Bartigula!
350
00:16:02,504 --> 00:16:05,254
Bartigula!
351
00:16:05,340 --> 00:16:08,591
And so began the reign
of bartigula the jerk.
352
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:11,469
Eager to expand the empire,
he declared war
353
00:16:11,596 --> 00:16:14,472
on neptune, god of the sea.
354
00:16:14,599 --> 00:16:16,683
Despite some early victories,
355
00:16:16,810 --> 00:16:19,644
thousands drowned.
356
00:16:19,771 --> 00:16:22,689
Bartigula blamed
the troubles of rome
357
00:16:22,857 --> 00:16:25,316
on foreign invaders.
358
00:16:25,443 --> 00:16:29,112
So he built a large and
expensive wall to keep them out.
359
00:16:29,239 --> 00:16:30,655
Awk, who needs ya?
360
00:16:30,824 --> 00:16:32,490
Ya carthage-sacking
361
00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:34,909
aqueduct guzzlers.
362
00:16:34,995 --> 00:16:37,223
And finally,
to silence his critics,
363
00:16:37,247 --> 00:16:40,665
bartigula dissolved the senate.
364
00:16:40,834 --> 00:16:43,251
Aah!
365
00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:46,216
The young emperor had
gone mad with power.
366
00:16:46,256 --> 00:16:47,922
And syphilis.
367
00:16:48,049 --> 00:16:49,507
Listen up, rome-wads.
368
00:16:49,634 --> 00:16:50,842
The empire's in crisis,
369
00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:52,613
the economy's
in the crapatorium,
370
00:16:52,637 --> 00:16:54,721
and neptune's
kicking our butts, somehow.
371
00:16:54,848 --> 00:16:56,723
I now realize...
372
00:16:56,850 --> 00:16:59,934
I can no longer be your emperor.
373
00:17:00,061 --> 00:17:01,061
Oh. Phew.
374
00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:03,813
Because I am now your god!
375
00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:07,358
That's it. I'm taking a stand.
376
00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:11,154
My son isn't a god.
377
00:17:11,239 --> 00:17:13,239
He's just
an entitled little psycho.
378
00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:15,700
Society must come to its senses
379
00:17:15,827 --> 00:17:17,952
and overthrow this madman!
380
00:17:18,079 --> 00:17:20,288
- Uh... Uh...
- Hmm. I don't know.
381
00:17:20,457 --> 00:17:22,582
Blasphemy! Seize him!
382
00:17:23,752 --> 00:17:26,044
For your heresy, father,
I sentence you
383
00:17:26,171 --> 00:17:28,337
to be eaten by the lions.
384
00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:32,508
Hmm.
We're gonna need more lions.
385
00:17:32,635 --> 00:17:34,302
Why are we here?
386
00:17:34,429 --> 00:17:36,589
They said I could bring
a couple of belongings.
387
00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:39,974
Hey, this is where we made
our freedom pact, remember?
388
00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:43,102
The one you refused to honor
for 20 years.
389
00:17:43,188 --> 00:17:45,188
Not freeing you guys
390
00:17:45,356 --> 00:17:47,815
was the first worst thing
I ever did,
391
00:17:47,901 --> 00:17:51,069
but I hereby decree you
to be emancipated.
392
00:17:51,196 --> 00:17:53,571
Now face the dawn as free men.
393
00:17:53,698 --> 00:17:56,991
We're in a jail cell, you dope.
394
00:17:58,870 --> 00:18:01,370
Father, we have
to get you out of the city.
395
00:18:01,498 --> 00:18:03,247
Hurry, and you can still escape.
396
00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:04,957
No, I'm not going to run.
397
00:18:05,126 --> 00:18:06,751
Because you physically can't?
398
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:08,711
Yes, mostly, but also
399
00:18:08,797 --> 00:18:12,173
because we have to stop
bartigula and save the republic.
400
00:18:12,258 --> 00:18:14,675
Are you fellas with me?
401
00:18:14,803 --> 00:18:16,636
Uh... No.
402
00:18:19,390 --> 00:18:21,432
Oh.
403
00:18:21,559 --> 00:18:23,496
Though he had lost everything,
404
00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:27,563
obeseus still had the heart
of a warrior.
405
00:18:32,695 --> 00:18:34,775
Looks like hannibal's
missing an elephant.
406
00:18:34,823 --> 00:18:36,175
Oh, yeah.
407
00:18:36,199 --> 00:18:39,659
All hail the living god.
408
00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,536
We who are about to die
409
00:18:41,663 --> 00:18:43,788
salute you.
410
00:18:43,957 --> 00:18:45,597
Oh!
411
00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:50,211
You dare show me
your moon flaps?
412
00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:53,923
I will teach this old fool
who is the true gluteus maximus.
413
00:18:54,092 --> 00:18:56,425
Bartigula, no!
414
00:18:56,553 --> 00:18:58,719
There, in front of all rome,
415
00:18:58,847 --> 00:19:02,557
father and son
engaged in bloody battle.
416
00:19:05,353 --> 00:19:07,081
Bartigula was fast,
417
00:19:07,105 --> 00:19:09,564
but obeseus was fatter.
418
00:19:14,612 --> 00:19:18,114
Kill the god! Kill the god!
419
00:19:18,241 --> 00:19:21,576
Obe, please spare our boy.
420
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:23,077
What?
421
00:19:23,204 --> 00:19:26,622
Sic semper this, you fat load.
422
00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:29,584
Why, you littleus...
423
00:19:34,424 --> 00:19:36,382
no!
424
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:38,801
My life is over.
425
00:19:38,887 --> 00:19:42,680
I failed rome,
was a less-than-perfect father.
426
00:19:42,807 --> 00:19:44,223
Worst of all,
427
00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:47,185
I really
screwed over my friends.
428
00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:49,353
May the... Gods...
429
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:51,272
Forgive me.
430
00:19:53,818 --> 00:19:55,776
I poisoned everything I loved
431
00:19:55,904 --> 00:19:57,778
with my boundless ambition.
432
00:19:57,906 --> 00:20:00,656
My family is no more.
433
00:20:03,161 --> 00:20:05,036
Mom, what about me?
434
00:20:05,163 --> 00:20:08,080
We never really... Clicked.
435
00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:11,292
With that, the match was lit
436
00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:13,753
that would burn rome
to the ground...
437
00:20:13,922 --> 00:20:15,755
400 years later.
438
00:20:15,924 --> 00:20:18,049
Haw-haw!
439
00:20:19,135 --> 00:20:21,928
Who knew
history could be so sad?
440
00:20:22,055 --> 00:20:24,222
The moral
of that story is clear:
441
00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:26,891
Marge is wrong
and ambition is terrible.
442
00:20:27,018 --> 00:20:30,353
No, no, no. The lesson
is that the unchecked lust
443
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:31,854
for money and power can bring
444
00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:34,440
a once-great nation to ruin.
445
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:37,193
Does anyone think it was weird
that dad killed me?
446
00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:39,445
Don't blame me.
Blame your mother.
447
00:20:39,530 --> 00:20:42,198
I just wanted you to go to
one lousy training seminar.
448
00:20:42,325 --> 00:20:44,553
Did you not even listen
to the old guy's story about...
449
00:20:46,788 --> 00:20:49,121
when will humanity ever learn...
450
00:20:49,249 --> 00:20:53,084
To stop letting stupid people
into museums?
451
00:21:00,677 --> 00:21:02,529
- they're missing
the whole point.
452
00:21:02,553 --> 00:21:03,864
If rome had kept worshipping us,
everything would have been fine.
453
00:21:03,888 --> 00:21:05,554
Get over it, dad.
454
00:21:05,723 --> 00:21:08,849
You always get so worked up
whenever you watch the mortals.
455
00:21:08,977 --> 00:21:10,226
Can we change the channel?
456
00:21:10,353 --> 00:21:11,852
This show sucks now.
457
00:21:11,980 --> 00:21:15,564
Yeah, it's totally gone
off the rails since season 2016.
458
00:21:15,650 --> 00:21:17,650
I know, but I want
to see how it ends.
459
00:21:17,735 --> 00:21:19,986
Definitely feels
like they're wrapping it up.
460
00:21:20,113 --> 00:21:22,405
Any day now.
462
00:21:30,039 --> 00:21:32,748
* when in rome
you do like the romans do *
463
00:21:32,875 --> 00:21:36,460
* you play like
the romans play together *
464
00:21:36,546 --> 00:21:38,921
* you're all invited,
so right this way *
465
00:21:39,048 --> 00:21:42,717
* you're gonna
meet the roman holidays. *
32184
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