Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,920 --> 00:00:04,420
♪ ♪
2
00:00:08,843 --> 00:00:11,385
bart: Mm. Hmm.
3
00:00:11,554 --> 00:00:12,970
So ionic.
4
00:00:13,055 --> 00:00:14,555
(yawns)
5
00:00:14,724 --> 00:00:16,807
if I wanted to be bored
on a Saturday, I would have
6
00:00:16,892 --> 00:00:18,851
signed up for that management
training program at work.
7
00:00:18,978 --> 00:00:22,646
At least there I know
where the good toilets are.
8
00:00:22,773 --> 00:00:24,481
Wait, what training program?
9
00:00:24,608 --> 00:00:26,608
Oh, it's some dumb
career development thing
10
00:00:26,736 --> 00:00:28,569
at the plant,
so you can become a manager
11
00:00:28,738 --> 00:00:31,071
and have more responsibility.
(laughs)
12
00:00:31,157 --> 00:00:32,322
who needs that trap?
13
00:00:32,491 --> 00:00:34,575
But we could really
use more money.
14
00:00:34,702 --> 00:00:37,745
You've had the same entry-level
job your whole career.
15
00:00:37,830 --> 00:00:39,580
Hey, don't knock
entry level, marge.
16
00:00:39,707 --> 00:00:42,458
At least I don't have
to wear long-sleeve shirts,
17
00:00:42,626 --> 00:00:45,377
go to webinars
and supervise a bunch
18
00:00:45,463 --> 00:00:47,379
of entry-level losers,
19
00:00:47,506 --> 00:00:49,590
with their short-sleeve shirts.
20
00:00:49,675 --> 00:00:52,551
Homer, I can't be
the only one in this family
21
00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:54,803
who wants more for us.
22
00:00:54,930 --> 00:00:56,430
(gasps) I want more.
23
00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:58,682
I just don't want
to do anything to earn it.
24
00:00:58,809 --> 00:01:00,350
For once in your life,
25
00:01:00,519 --> 00:01:02,895
would it kill you
to show a little ambition?
26
00:01:03,022 --> 00:01:04,605
- (huffs)
- (huffs)
27
00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:08,567
ah, ambition is indeed
a timeless source of conflict.
28
00:01:08,694 --> 00:01:10,652
(gasps) a lost senior.
29
00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:13,113
(enunciating):
Where is your family?
30
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:15,449
As a matter of fact,
I just curated
31
00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:17,451
an exhibit
about a roman family
32
00:01:17,620 --> 00:01:20,162
torn asunder
by the hunger for more.
33
00:01:20,289 --> 00:01:23,332
The life of obeseus the wide.
34
00:01:23,459 --> 00:01:26,251
Ooh, maybe
an historical allegory
35
00:01:26,337 --> 00:01:28,337
could help us
work out our issues.
36
00:01:28,464 --> 00:01:29,922
Once again,
bickering in public
37
00:01:30,049 --> 00:01:32,674
gets us free therapy
from strangers.
38
00:01:32,802 --> 00:01:34,468
Bickering most tragic.
39
00:01:34,553 --> 00:01:38,722
For ambition was the force
that built the roman empire
40
00:01:38,808 --> 00:01:41,058
and that which tore it apart.
41
00:01:41,227 --> 00:01:43,685
Obeseus was born
to a poor farmer
42
00:01:43,771 --> 00:01:46,313
with much land,
but no ox to plow it.
43
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:49,066
So he improvised.
44
00:01:49,193 --> 00:01:51,235
Life on the farm was cruel.
45
00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,654
But it chiseled
young obeseus into quite
46
00:01:53,781 --> 00:01:55,906
the italian beefcake.
47
00:01:55,991 --> 00:01:57,407
Good news, plow son.
48
00:01:57,535 --> 00:02:00,452
We finally got enough money
to buy us an ox.
49
00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:02,788
Woo-hoo!
How'd you do that, father?
50
00:02:02,957 --> 00:02:04,456
I sold you into slavery.
51
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:07,000
- Arrivederci, sucker.
- (grunts)
52
00:02:10,506 --> 00:02:11,922
curator:
A frightened obeseus
53
00:02:12,049 --> 00:02:13,632
and his new work friends
54
00:02:13,717 --> 00:02:15,425
were taken to rome.
55
00:02:15,511 --> 00:02:18,720
The boys had never seen
anything like it-- the crowds,
56
00:02:18,848 --> 00:02:20,347
the noise, the grand scale
57
00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:23,225
of the pornographic graffiti.
58
00:02:23,394 --> 00:02:26,186
But the worst was yet to come.
59
00:02:26,355 --> 00:02:28,564
Gentlemen,
today you have the honor
60
00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:31,358
of being hacked to death
on the field of battle.
61
00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:33,986
Us? But we're not gladiators.
62
00:02:34,113 --> 00:02:35,487
Not with that attitude.
63
00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:37,948
Remember, there are
no small wounds,
64
00:02:38,075 --> 00:02:41,076
only small victims.
65
00:02:41,203 --> 00:02:43,078
(whimpering)
66
00:02:43,205 --> 00:02:45,455
(crowd cheering)
67
00:02:47,293 --> 00:02:48,750
hailing from germania,
68
00:02:48,836 --> 00:02:51,837
he's the saxon
who's always axe-in'--
69
00:02:51,964 --> 00:02:54,506
wolfus rein!
70
00:02:54,633 --> 00:02:56,758
(cheering)
71
00:02:56,844 --> 00:02:57,968
and in the shaking tunic,
72
00:02:58,053 --> 00:03:00,637
hailing from who knows,
nobody cares--
73
00:03:00,723 --> 00:03:02,556
that guy.
74
00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:05,350
(booing)
75
00:03:05,477 --> 00:03:07,811
- (whimpering)
- (growling)
76
00:03:07,938 --> 00:03:09,813
someone's in here.
77
00:03:09,940 --> 00:03:11,440
(grunts)
78
00:03:13,569 --> 00:03:15,152
aah!
79
00:03:16,488 --> 00:03:18,363
Curator:
Obeseus didn't know much,
80
00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:20,574
but he knew how to be an ox.
81
00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:23,368
(obeseus bellows)
82
00:03:24,455 --> 00:03:25,621
- (grunting)
- (groaning)
83
00:03:27,333 --> 00:03:29,166
juno, mother of apollo.
84
00:03:30,461 --> 00:03:32,711
All right, pal,
should we call it a tie?
85
00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:34,713
A-aah!
86
00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:36,381
(cheering)
87
00:03:36,508 --> 00:03:38,508
all hail our new champion,
88
00:03:38,636 --> 00:03:40,385
mr. Plow himself,
89
00:03:40,512 --> 00:03:42,679
obeseus!
90
00:03:42,806 --> 00:03:44,932
- Yeah!
- (cheering)
91
00:03:45,059 --> 00:03:46,558
oh...
92
00:03:46,685 --> 00:03:48,518
That chiseled bumpkin
just killed
93
00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:50,687
my prized psychopath.
94
00:03:50,814 --> 00:03:52,481
Feed him to the hippos.
95
00:03:52,608 --> 00:03:55,192
No, father, look how
the crowd loves him.
96
00:03:55,319 --> 00:03:58,654
That hunky rube could put
a lot of togas in the seats.
97
00:03:58,822 --> 00:04:02,032
Majora, you have quite the mind
98
00:04:02,117 --> 00:04:04,076
for the family business.
99
00:04:04,203 --> 00:04:07,663
The man-ox will live
to fight another day.
100
00:04:07,790 --> 00:04:09,539
(lowing)
101
00:04:09,667 --> 00:04:10,499
mm.
102
00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:13,335
Curator:
Obeseus' fame grew
103
00:04:13,462 --> 00:04:15,837
as he rose through
the gladiatorial ranks.
104
00:04:15,965 --> 00:04:17,506
Women wanted him
105
00:04:17,633 --> 00:04:20,384
and men wanted
to be killed by him.
106
00:04:20,552 --> 00:04:22,386
(cheering)
107
00:04:22,471 --> 00:04:25,097
but still he yearned for that
108
00:04:25,224 --> 00:04:27,099
which he longed for.
109
00:04:28,227 --> 00:04:30,560
Majora:
Eye... Heart... U!
110
00:04:30,688 --> 00:04:32,688
Oh...
111
00:04:35,651 --> 00:04:38,777
(sighs) you guys think
we'll ever be free again?
112
00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:40,821
(scoffs) the only way
we're leaving this place
113
00:04:40,948 --> 00:04:43,031
is carried out in chunks.
114
00:04:43,117 --> 00:04:44,616
Uh, don't mind me, fellas.
115
00:04:44,743 --> 00:04:46,785
Another clog in the chunk chute.
(chuckles)
116
00:04:46,912 --> 00:04:50,080
they got to start cutting
you guys into smaller pieces.
117
00:04:50,207 --> 00:04:52,749
Let us make a sacred pact
before the gods.
118
00:04:52,918 --> 00:04:54,459
If one of us ever gets free,
119
00:04:54,586 --> 00:04:57,421
he'll do everything he can
to free the rest of us.
120
00:04:57,548 --> 00:04:59,080
To freedom.
121
00:04:59,174 --> 00:05:00,340
All:
To freedom!
122
00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:02,968
Yeah, to freedom.
(chuckles)
123
00:05:03,137 --> 00:05:05,887
eh, you chunks are no fun.
124
00:05:07,349 --> 00:05:10,225
Well, if it isn't
the champion of rome himself.
125
00:05:10,352 --> 00:05:12,853
(gasps)
lady majora.
126
00:05:12,938 --> 00:05:14,479
What are you doing here?
127
00:05:14,606 --> 00:05:18,025
I have to keep an eye
on my father's investments.
128
00:05:18,193 --> 00:05:20,319
Plus, I like the way
your pecs dance
129
00:05:20,446 --> 00:05:22,029
after you kill a guy.
130
00:05:22,156 --> 00:05:24,239
(giggles)
these old things?
131
00:05:24,325 --> 00:05:27,534
Blip, blip, bla-bla, blip,
blip, bla-bla, blip.
132
00:05:27,703 --> 00:05:29,703
(growls, laughs)
133
00:05:32,207 --> 00:05:33,707
mm-hmm.
134
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:36,585
(sing-songy): Swish and slash
and spin and kick
135
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:39,629
and slice that belly
and hello, guts.
136
00:05:39,757 --> 00:05:41,840
It would appear that one
of you lowly gladiators
137
00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:45,218
has impregnated my daughter.
138
00:05:45,304 --> 00:05:46,636
Tell me who laid with her,
139
00:05:46,764 --> 00:05:50,057
and the rest of you
will be spared the lash.
140
00:05:50,184 --> 00:05:51,767
Mm...
141
00:05:51,894 --> 00:05:54,353
I had sexicus.
142
00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:58,023
- I had sexicus.
- I had sexicus.
143
00:05:58,192 --> 00:06:00,108
I had sexicus.
144
00:06:00,235 --> 00:06:02,402
- I had sexicus.
- I had sexicus.
145
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:03,945
I had sexicus.
146
00:06:04,073 --> 00:06:05,322
You jerks!
147
00:06:05,449 --> 00:06:06,948
You knew I liked her.
148
00:06:07,076 --> 00:06:09,201
We were covering
for you, jackass.
149
00:06:09,286 --> 00:06:10,535
Oh, right.
150
00:06:10,662 --> 00:06:12,204
Sir, I'm in love
with your daughter.
151
00:06:12,331 --> 00:06:14,790
If you must punish someone,
punish me.
152
00:06:14,958 --> 00:06:18,418
Place his head
on the beheading block.
153
00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:19,544
(gasps)
154
00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:24,299
which is also
the unlocking block.
155
00:06:24,426 --> 00:06:27,052
Rise, for you are now free...
156
00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:28,220
Woo-hoo!
157
00:06:28,389 --> 00:06:30,931
- ...To marry my daughter.
- D'oh!
158
00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:33,350
(chuckling):
I-I mean, great.
159
00:06:33,477 --> 00:06:36,853
What could be more
liberating than marriage?
160
00:06:37,022 --> 00:06:39,523
Curator:The young lovers were wedfor all the gods to see.
161
00:06:39,650 --> 00:06:42,609
And plans were made
for their future.
162
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:44,861
So that you may
build a life together,
163
00:06:44,988 --> 00:06:48,323
I give you the deed
to one of my many businesses.
164
00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:50,409
Oh, thank you, daddy.
165
00:06:50,494 --> 00:06:52,786
I have so many great ideas.
166
00:06:52,955 --> 00:06:55,956
Oh, my little vestal non-virgin,
167
00:06:56,125 --> 00:06:58,667
leave the business talk
to the men.
168
00:06:58,794 --> 00:07:00,919
(sighs)
169
00:07:01,046 --> 00:07:04,089
now, obeseus,
to get things started,
170
00:07:04,216 --> 00:07:07,968
please, take some slaves
on the house.
171
00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:11,096
Aw, slaves?
You shouldn't ha...
172
00:07:11,223 --> 00:07:13,223
(gasps)
I can't own my friends.
173
00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:16,059
I swore a sacred oath
to free them.
174
00:07:16,186 --> 00:07:18,228
Curator:
Majora then understood:
175
00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:20,897
For a woman to have
any voice in this world,
176
00:07:21,024 --> 00:07:24,109
it would have to come out
of her husband's stupid mouth.
177
00:07:24,236 --> 00:07:27,237
My love, you are so noble
178
00:07:27,322 --> 00:07:29,990
to take on the backbreaking work
of four men,
179
00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:31,199
day in, day out,
180
00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:33,076
no matter how poor and hungry
181
00:07:33,203 --> 00:07:35,495
- it shall leave you.
- (weak chuckle)
182
00:07:35,581 --> 00:07:38,999
look, fellas, no one honors
oaths more than me.
183
00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:40,542
No one.
184
00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:42,711
Just give me a little time
till we get on our feet,
185
00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:44,379
then I'll totally free you.
186
00:07:44,506 --> 00:07:46,423
Management thanks you
for your patience.
187
00:07:46,592 --> 00:07:49,634
Curator:And, so, in choosinggreed over loyalty,
188
00:07:49,761 --> 00:07:52,345
the young couple
began their rise to power...
189
00:07:52,473 --> 00:07:55,557
And their fall from grace.
190
00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:59,019
Well, now I feel stupid
getting them a wedding gift.
191
00:08:00,522 --> 00:08:01,438
(whines)
192
00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:09,112
curator: Obeseus entered
the second act of his life
193
00:08:09,198 --> 00:08:10,489
running the dirty,
bloody business
194
00:08:10,616 --> 00:08:12,115
given to him
by his father-in-law--
195
00:08:12,242 --> 00:08:14,117
a laundromat.
196
00:08:14,203 --> 00:08:16,244
(yawns)
197
00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:18,872
curator:Fun fact: In ancient rome,clothes were washed
198
00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:22,751
with ammonia, which
is derived from human urine.
199
00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:23,877
What's up, dad?
200
00:08:23,962 --> 00:08:25,212
How's the whiz biz?
201
00:08:25,339 --> 00:08:28,632
- Mellow and yellow.
- (laughs)
202
00:08:28,759 --> 00:08:30,258
why is the store closed?
203
00:08:30,344 --> 00:08:31,551
It's only noon.
204
00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:33,887
Me and the fellas
are all peed out.
205
00:08:34,056 --> 00:08:37,182
How am I supposed to make things
clean without human waste?
206
00:08:37,309 --> 00:08:39,059
This business has been
failing for years
207
00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:41,436
because you've been
phoning it in.
208
00:08:41,563 --> 00:08:43,104
Figure it out.
209
00:08:43,232 --> 00:08:45,941
Hey, uh, "boss"?
(groans)
210
00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:47,234
we came up with an idea that
211
00:08:47,361 --> 00:08:49,486
could increase ammonia
production.
212
00:08:49,571 --> 00:08:52,072
All you got to do is put
these jugs outside of taverns,
213
00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:54,199
and you'll get
your urinus gratis.
214
00:08:54,326 --> 00:08:57,494
Crowdsourcing
a streaming service, eh?
215
00:08:57,621 --> 00:08:59,704
- I'm a genius!
- (all huff)
216
00:08:59,831 --> 00:09:01,957
♪ ♪
217
00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:05,126
curator:Stealing the ideaof his indentured friends,
218
00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:07,170
obeseus was soon flush
219
00:09:07,256 --> 00:09:08,630
- in liquid assets.
- (sloshing)
220
00:09:08,757 --> 00:09:10,340
and he was able
to move his family
221
00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:13,468
to the more prosperous
side of town.
222
00:09:13,554 --> 00:09:15,637
("movin' on up"
playing in latin)
223
00:09:41,039 --> 00:09:43,415
lennus, I'm fatigued.
224
00:09:43,542 --> 00:09:44,949
Yawn for me?
225
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:47,752
(yawns loudly)
226
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:50,672
obeseus, we gave you
the idea that made you rich.
227
00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:52,924
How about making good
on your promise,
228
00:09:53,051 --> 00:09:54,718
and freeing us now?
229
00:09:54,803 --> 00:09:56,803
Guys, guys, guys,
thank you so much
230
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:58,305
for bringing this up.
231
00:09:58,390 --> 00:10:00,557
I'm really lucky
to own friends like you.
232
00:10:00,726 --> 00:10:02,767
Tell you what,
I'll have my accountant
233
00:10:02,853 --> 00:10:04,769
crunch the letters,
and we'll circle back.
234
00:10:04,896 --> 00:10:06,104
The important thing is
235
00:10:06,189 --> 00:10:08,523
we started a conversation.
236
00:10:08,692 --> 00:10:09,816
(all grumble)
237
00:10:09,901 --> 00:10:11,443
♪ ♪
238
00:10:12,738 --> 00:10:15,363
and now let us
thank lord jupiter
239
00:10:15,449 --> 00:10:18,908
for a bountiful harvest
by draining the blood
240
00:10:19,036 --> 00:10:22,078
of this baby goat.
241
00:10:22,164 --> 00:10:23,121
- (bleats)
- (grunts)
242
00:10:23,248 --> 00:10:25,081
aw, these seats suck.
243
00:10:25,208 --> 00:10:27,292
Can't even see
the entrails from here.
244
00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:30,503
Well, they save all
the best seats for the senators.
245
00:10:30,631 --> 00:10:31,963
(homer whines)
246
00:10:32,090 --> 00:10:33,923
hmm.
247
00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:36,718
What if you became a senator?
248
00:10:36,887 --> 00:10:39,220
Think about how much
more respected we'd be.
249
00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:42,098
I don't know.
It sounds like a lot of work.
250
00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:43,933
Sitting there all day,
251
00:10:44,019 --> 00:10:46,519
listening, voting on stuff
with my thumb.
252
00:10:46,688 --> 00:10:47,979
But think of the perks.
253
00:10:48,106 --> 00:10:50,690
You'll get invited
to fancier orgies.
254
00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:53,610
- The kinds with women.
- They have those?
255
00:10:53,737 --> 00:10:57,489
Curator:And with that, obeseusmarched down the appian way
256
00:10:57,616 --> 00:10:59,616
to plead his case
to the emperor,
257
00:10:59,701 --> 00:11:02,952
confident that he would be
welcomed into the senate.
258
00:11:03,121 --> 00:11:06,581
(laughs)
the pee guy, a senator?
259
00:11:06,708 --> 00:11:08,958
That would be an insult
to the dignity of this office.
260
00:11:09,086 --> 00:11:12,087
Now if you'll excuse me,
senator horse and I
261
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:14,422
are going shopping
for lewd pottery.
262
00:11:15,425 --> 00:11:17,550
Oh...
263
00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:19,803
Stupid emperor.
264
00:11:19,888 --> 00:11:23,264
Thinks he's great
'cause his bangs are so curly.
265
00:11:24,226 --> 00:11:26,351
Oh, majora's gonna be so mad.
266
00:11:26,478 --> 00:11:29,312
I'd do anything to be a senator.
267
00:11:29,398 --> 00:11:30,855
Anything, eh?
268
00:11:30,982 --> 00:11:33,650
You know, as the emperor's
politically adopted son,
269
00:11:33,777 --> 00:11:37,195
I am next in line to the throne
should anything happen to...
270
00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:39,030
(chuckles) daddy.
271
00:11:39,157 --> 00:11:41,825
Like, say, him slipping
and falling back-first
272
00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:43,118
onto a knife.
273
00:11:43,245 --> 00:11:45,704
Oh, that happened to me once.
Sucked.
274
00:11:45,789 --> 00:11:48,331
(groans) kill the emperor
and I'll make you a senator.
275
00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:51,167
(gasps) kill the emperor
to become senator?
276
00:11:51,294 --> 00:11:53,378
But what's in it for me?
277
00:11:53,463 --> 00:11:55,088
Curator:
Jacta alea est.
278
00:11:55,257 --> 00:11:57,424
The die was cast.
279
00:11:57,509 --> 00:12:00,468
♪ when in rome you doas the romans do ♪
280
00:12:00,595 --> 00:12:03,930
♪ you play as the romansplay together. ♪
281
00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:05,932
hey, get out of here, you.
282
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:07,684
This is my private vomitorium
283
00:12:07,853 --> 00:12:10,979
and I've got a belly
full of hot figs. (heaves)
284
00:12:11,106 --> 00:12:13,940
- (groans)
- come on, you figs. (heaves)
285
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:16,317
(grunting)
286
00:12:17,821 --> 00:12:21,114
et... Tu... Pee guy?
287
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:24,617
- (grunts)
- (whimpers)
288
00:12:24,786 --> 00:12:26,619
(laughs)
history rules!
289
00:12:26,788 --> 00:12:27,787
(grunts)
290
00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:29,330
poor majora.
291
00:12:29,458 --> 00:12:31,833
She wanted her husband
to be more ambitious,
292
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:33,626
but not like this.
293
00:12:33,712 --> 00:12:35,795
Well, actually...
294
00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:37,255
Mm-hmm.
(exclaims)
295
00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:40,925
give me a kiss,
you big, stabby go-getter.
296
00:12:41,052 --> 00:12:42,218
- Ooh.
- (moaning)
297
00:12:42,345 --> 00:12:43,803
(majora chuckles)
298
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:45,555
I love my job.
299
00:12:51,313 --> 00:12:52,645
Curator:
Over the next ten years,
300
00:12:52,731 --> 00:12:53,730
senator obeseus' power
grew vastly,
301
00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:55,273
as did his toga size.
302
00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,692
And majora reveled
in the high status,
303
00:12:57,819 --> 00:12:59,152
hosting the town's elite
304
00:12:59,321 --> 00:13:01,821
at her lavish saturnalia party.
305
00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:05,700
(laughs)
I love your holiday decorations.
306
00:13:05,786 --> 00:13:08,077
It lets those pesky christians
know they aren't going to win
307
00:13:08,205 --> 00:13:10,038
the war on saturnalia.
308
00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:11,623
So, noble slaves,
309
00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:15,084
what gift do you desire
from your benevolent master?
310
00:13:15,212 --> 00:13:17,712
Uh... Our friggin' freedom.
311
00:13:17,798 --> 00:13:20,298
Yeah, well,
the thing about that is...
312
00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:22,342
Why do we even bother
asking anymore?
313
00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:23,927
He's never gonna free us.
314
00:13:24,054 --> 00:13:26,554
This has been
building up for a while:
315
00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:28,223
You give slave owners
a bad name.
316
00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:30,016
(gasps)
what?
317
00:13:30,101 --> 00:13:32,811
- (sighs) what a giant jerk.
- Ugh, he's the worst.
318
00:13:32,938 --> 00:13:35,688
Dad, bartigula's out of control.
319
00:13:35,857 --> 00:13:38,358
Look what he's doing
to ptolemaic book guy.
320
00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:40,985
- Ow.
- Why are you flaying yourself?
321
00:13:41,112 --> 00:13:43,154
- Ow!
- Why are you flaying yourself?
322
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:45,031
An interesting paradox.
323
00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:48,368
For does free will
truly exist or... Ow!
324
00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:50,203
Growing up rich and spoiled
325
00:13:50,288 --> 00:13:52,914
has turned your son
into a monster.
326
00:13:53,041 --> 00:13:54,082
It's not my fault.
327
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:55,792
I never spend any time with him.
328
00:13:55,919 --> 00:13:56,918
(grumbles)
329
00:13:57,087 --> 00:13:58,461
aw.
330
00:13:58,547 --> 00:14:00,797
My son's a maniac.
My daughter's not a son.
331
00:14:00,924 --> 00:14:03,091
My slaves hate me
for some reason.
332
00:14:03,260 --> 00:14:05,343
(sighs)
heavy lies the head
333
00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:08,721
that wears the wig
of curly bangs.
334
00:14:08,849 --> 00:14:09,806
Mm.
335
00:14:09,975 --> 00:14:11,641
I'm spent.
336
00:14:11,726 --> 00:14:15,603
Just gonna take a bath in warm
donkey milk and go to sleep.
337
00:14:15,689 --> 00:14:18,523
I can't believe the emperor
didn't even come to my party.
338
00:14:18,608 --> 00:14:21,317
He wouldn't even be emperor
if not for you.
339
00:14:21,444 --> 00:14:22,902
Yeah, well, what do you want me
to do about it--
340
00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:24,779
kill the emperor?
341
00:14:24,906 --> 00:14:27,490
Well, if that's what you want.
342
00:14:27,617 --> 00:14:29,909
You can even
use the present I got you.
343
00:14:30,036 --> 00:14:31,911
Sweet jumpin' jupiter!
344
00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:33,204
What more do you want?
345
00:14:33,331 --> 00:14:34,622
We started at the bottom
346
00:14:34,749 --> 00:14:37,208
and now we're
one rung from the top.
347
00:14:37,335 --> 00:14:39,752
It's a natural stopping point.
348
00:14:39,921 --> 00:14:41,921
Will you never be satisfied?
349
00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:44,215
Pardon me, senator.
350
00:14:44,342 --> 00:14:47,719
I'm sorry you find my ambition
so distasteful.
351
00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:48,970
Just remember:
352
00:14:49,097 --> 00:14:52,557
Power comes to those
who take it.
353
00:14:54,811 --> 00:14:56,394
Mmm.
(chuckles)
354
00:14:56,521 --> 00:14:58,855
aw, yeah. Yeah.
355
00:14:58,982 --> 00:15:00,899
Milk, milk, milk.
356
00:15:01,026 --> 00:15:03,234
- ♪ ♪
- (cheering)
357
00:15:03,904 --> 00:15:05,403
to the roman empire.
358
00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:08,823
May it last forever,
in some strange form or another.
359
00:15:08,992 --> 00:15:10,658
Ooh.
360
00:15:10,785 --> 00:15:12,493
Can't be too careful these days.
361
00:15:12,621 --> 00:15:14,120
Oh, taster.
362
00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:18,333
- (grunting)
- poison.
363
00:15:18,460 --> 00:15:20,335
Some has tried to kill me.
364
00:15:20,462 --> 00:15:22,003
(gasps)
you didn't?
365
00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:23,796
You wouldn't.
366
00:15:23,924 --> 00:15:26,799
When I find whoever did this,
I will crush them like a...
367
00:15:26,927 --> 00:15:28,551
(grunts)
368
00:15:29,888 --> 00:15:31,304
(sniffs)
369
00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:36,100
- (all gasp)
- the emperor is dead!
370
00:15:36,186 --> 00:15:38,686
Who will nominate his successor?
371
00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:41,814
Friends, romans, countrymen.
372
00:15:41,942 --> 00:15:43,441
That's me.
373
00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:45,109
We deserve an emperor who can
374
00:15:45,236 --> 00:15:47,654
boldly lead us into the future.
375
00:15:47,822 --> 00:15:49,822
My son, bartigula.
376
00:15:49,950 --> 00:15:51,532
Wha?!
377
00:15:52,994 --> 00:15:54,160
He was born rich,
378
00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:56,788
so he got to be good
at business.
379
00:15:56,873 --> 00:15:58,665
(chanting):
Bartigula!
380
00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:02,377
Bartigula! Bartigula!
381
00:16:02,504 --> 00:16:05,254
Bartigula!
382
00:16:05,340 --> 00:16:08,591
Curator:And so began the reignof bartigula the jerk.
383
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:11,469
Eager to expand the empire,
he declared war
384
00:16:11,596 --> 00:16:14,472
on neptune, god of the sea.
385
00:16:14,599 --> 00:16:16,683
Despite some early victories,
386
00:16:16,810 --> 00:16:19,644
thousands drowned.
387
00:16:19,771 --> 00:16:22,689
Bartigula blamed
the troubles of rome
388
00:16:22,857 --> 00:16:25,316
on foreign invaders.
389
00:16:25,443 --> 00:16:29,112
So he built a large and
expensive wall to keep them out.
390
00:16:29,239 --> 00:16:30,655
Awk, who needs ya?
391
00:16:30,824 --> 00:16:32,490
Ya carthage-sacking
392
00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:34,909
aqueduct guzzlers.
393
00:16:34,995 --> 00:16:37,120
Curator:And finally,to silence his critics,
394
00:16:37,247 --> 00:16:40,665
bartigula dissolved the senate.
395
00:16:40,834 --> 00:16:43,251
Aah!
396
00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:46,170
Curator:The young emperorhad gone mad with power.
397
00:16:46,256 --> 00:16:47,922
And syphilis.
398
00:16:48,049 --> 00:16:49,507
Listen up, rome-wads.
399
00:16:49,634 --> 00:16:50,842
The empire's in crisis,
400
00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:52,510
the economy's
in the crapatorium,
401
00:16:52,637 --> 00:16:54,721
and neptune's
kicking our butts, somehow.
402
00:16:54,848 --> 00:16:56,723
I now realize...
403
00:16:56,850 --> 00:16:59,934
I can no longer be your emperor.
404
00:17:00,061 --> 00:17:01,019
Oh. Phew.
405
00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:03,813
Because I am now your god!
406
00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:05,189
(crowd clamoring)
407
00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:07,358
that's it.
I'm taking a stand.
408
00:17:07,485 --> 00:17:08,651
(grunting)
409
00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:11,154
my son isn't a god.
410
00:17:11,239 --> 00:17:13,239
He's just
an entitled little psycho.
411
00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:15,700
Society must come
to its senses
412
00:17:15,827 --> 00:17:17,952
and overthrow this madman!
413
00:17:18,079 --> 00:17:20,288
- Uh... Uh...
- Hmm. I don't know.
414
00:17:20,457 --> 00:17:22,582
Blasphemy!
Seize him!
415
00:17:23,752 --> 00:17:26,044
For your heresy, father,
I sentence you
416
00:17:26,171 --> 00:17:28,337
to be eaten by the lions.
417
00:17:28,423 --> 00:17:29,589
(gasps)
418
00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:32,508
hmm.
We're gonna need more lions.
419
00:17:32,635 --> 00:17:34,302
Why are we here?
420
00:17:34,429 --> 00:17:36,512
They said I could bring
a couple of belongings.
421
00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:39,974
Hey, this is where we made
our freedom pact, remember?
422
00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:43,102
The one you refused to honor
for 20 years.
423
00:17:43,188 --> 00:17:45,188
(sighs)
not freeing you guys
424
00:17:45,356 --> 00:17:47,815
was the first worst thing
I ever did,
425
00:17:47,901 --> 00:17:51,069
but I hereby decree you
to be emancipated.
426
00:17:51,196 --> 00:17:53,571
Now face the dawn as free men.
427
00:17:53,698 --> 00:17:56,991
- We're in a jail cell, you dope.
- (whines)
428
00:17:58,870 --> 00:18:01,370
father, we have
to get you out of the city.
429
00:18:01,498 --> 00:18:03,247
Hurry, and you can still escape.
430
00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:04,957
No, I'm not going to run.
431
00:18:05,126 --> 00:18:06,751
Because you physically can't?
432
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:08,711
Yes, mostly, but also
433
00:18:08,797 --> 00:18:12,173
because we have to stop
bartigula and save the republic.
434
00:18:12,258 --> 00:18:14,675
Are you fellas with me?
435
00:18:14,803 --> 00:18:16,636
Uh... No.
436
00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:19,263
(groans)
437
00:18:19,390 --> 00:18:21,432
oh.
438
00:18:21,559 --> 00:18:23,351
Curator:
Though he had lost everything,
439
00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:27,563
obeseus still had the heart
of a warrior.
440
00:18:31,194 --> 00:18:32,610
(laughing)
441
00:18:32,695 --> 00:18:34,695
looks like hannibal's
missing an elephant.
442
00:18:34,823 --> 00:18:36,072
- (laughter)
- oh, yeah.
443
00:18:36,199 --> 00:18:39,659
All hail the living god.
444
00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,536
We who are about to die
445
00:18:41,663 --> 00:18:43,788
salute you.
446
00:18:43,957 --> 00:18:45,498
- Oh!
- (crowd laughing)
447
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:47,083
(groans)
448
00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:50,211
you dare show me
your moon flaps?
449
00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:53,923
I will teach this old fool
who is the true gluteus maximus.
450
00:18:54,092 --> 00:18:56,425
Bartigula, no!
451
00:18:56,553 --> 00:18:58,719
Curator:
There, in front of all rome,
452
00:18:58,847 --> 00:19:02,557
father and son
engaged in bloody battle.
453
00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:05,268
(whimpers)
454
00:19:05,353 --> 00:19:06,978
curator:
Bartigula was fast,
455
00:19:07,105 --> 00:19:09,564
but obeseus was fatter.
456
00:19:09,691 --> 00:19:11,649
(grunts)
457
00:19:11,776 --> 00:19:14,485
(growling)
458
00:19:14,612 --> 00:19:18,114
crowd (chanting):
Kill the god! Kill the god!
459
00:19:18,241 --> 00:19:21,576
Obe, please spare our boy.
460
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:23,077
What?
461
00:19:23,204 --> 00:19:26,622
(chuckles)
sic semper this, you fat load.
462
00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:29,584
Why, you littleus...
463
00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:31,669
(both grunting)
464
00:19:34,424 --> 00:19:36,382
no!
465
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:38,801
(panting)
my life is over.
466
00:19:38,887 --> 00:19:42,680
I failed rome,
was a less-than-perfect father.
467
00:19:42,807 --> 00:19:44,223
Worst of all,
468
00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:47,185
I really
screwed over my friends.
469
00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:49,353
May the... Gods...
470
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:51,272
Forgive me.
471
00:19:51,399 --> 00:19:53,649
(grunts)
472
00:19:53,818 --> 00:19:55,776
I poisoned everything I loved
473
00:19:55,904 --> 00:19:57,778
with my boundless ambition.
474
00:19:57,906 --> 00:20:00,656
My family is no more.
475
00:20:01,784 --> 00:20:03,034
(sighs)
476
00:20:03,161 --> 00:20:05,036
mom, what about me?
477
00:20:05,163 --> 00:20:08,080
We never really... Clicked.
478
00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:11,292
Curator:
With that, the match was lit
479
00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:13,753
that would burn rome
to the ground...
480
00:20:13,922 --> 00:20:15,755
400 years later.
481
00:20:15,924 --> 00:20:18,049
Haw-haw!
482
00:20:19,135 --> 00:20:21,928
Who knew
history could be so sad?
483
00:20:22,055 --> 00:20:24,222
The moral
of that story is clear:
484
00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:26,891
Marge is wrong
and ambition is terrible.
485
00:20:27,018 --> 00:20:30,353
No, no, no. The lesson
is that the unchecked lust
486
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:31,854
for money and power can bring
487
00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:34,440
a once-great nation to ruin.
488
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:37,193
Does anyone think it was weird
that dad killed me?
489
00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:39,445
Don't blame me.
Blame your mother.
490
00:20:39,530 --> 00:20:42,198
I just wanted you to go to
one lousy training seminar.
491
00:20:42,325 --> 00:20:44,450
Did you not even listen
to the old guy's story about...
492
00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:46,619
- (overlapping chatter)
- (curator groans)
493
00:20:46,788 --> 00:20:49,121
when will humanity ever learn...
494
00:20:49,249 --> 00:20:53,084
To stop letting stupid people
into museums?
495
00:21:00,677 --> 00:21:02,468
- (overlapping chatter)
- they're missing
the whole point.
496
00:21:02,553 --> 00:21:03,803
If rome had kept worshipping us,
everything would have been fine.
497
00:21:03,888 --> 00:21:05,554
Get over it, dad.
498
00:21:05,723 --> 00:21:08,849
You always get so worked up
whenever you watch the mortals.
499
00:21:08,977 --> 00:21:10,226
Can we change the channel?
500
00:21:10,353 --> 00:21:11,852
This show sucks now.
501
00:21:11,980 --> 00:21:15,564
Yeah, it's totally gone
off the rails since season 2016.
502
00:21:15,650 --> 00:21:17,608
I know, but I want
to see how it ends.
503
00:21:17,735 --> 00:21:19,986
Definitely feels
like they're wrapping it up.
504
00:21:20,113 --> 00:21:22,405
Any day now.
505
00:21:28,204 --> 00:21:29,912
Captioned by
media access group at wgbh
506
00:21:30,039 --> 00:21:32,748
♪ when in romeyou do like the romans do ♪
507
00:21:32,875 --> 00:21:36,460
♪ you play likethe romans play together ♪
508
00:21:36,546 --> 00:21:38,921
♪ you're all invited,so right this way ♪
509
00:21:39,048 --> 00:21:42,717
♪ you're gonnameet the roman holidays. ♪
36313
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof