Original subtitles

[SCOOBY SNORTING AND COUGHING]

Like, how you feeling, pal?

[GASPS]

Never better.

[SNEEZES THEN GROANS]

Great. I was worried there for a second we'd have to leave you behind.

- Fred. - What?

The Mystery Solvers state finals is tomorrow.

Every teen mystery-solving group from around the country will be there.

You mean there's more than one of us?

It's being held right here in Crystal Cove.

Whoever wins will be declared the best mystery-solving team...

...and go on to the Olympics.

Olympics? I don't think that's right.

Well, I'm sure the prize will be something big and Greek.

I'm sorry, Fred, but we can't go to the finals with Scooby sick like this.

Oh. Right. No. Of course not. Will you excuse me a second?

FRED: No!

[FRED SOBS]

Why? Why? Why?

Don't worry, Scoob, I got just what you need.

Chicken soup. Here.

Huh? Achoo!

[POT CLATTERS]

Sorry. Maybe you guys should go without me. Achoo!

No. You're part of the team, Scooby. What good are we without our sidekick?

Sidekick?

Velma.

- What she means is-- - I know what she means.

Like, come on, gang. Let's let him get some sleep.

Hmmph.

Sidekick.

Is that all I am?

[SIGHS]

[GRUNTS]

Ah--Ah--

Hey, I didn't sneeze.

Normal. I'm cured.

I'm cured. I'm cured.

Ha, ha. Like, what? Way to go, Scoob.

- Must've been that chicken soup. - I'll say.

What are we waiting for, gang?

We've got a Mystery Solvers Club state finals to win.

Oh, man, this is gonna be great. I can't wait to meet our--

ALL: Huh? - Competition?

[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

[GEARS CLICKING]

Ah! Mm!

SCOOBY: Scooby-Dooby-Doo!

So are you guys the other--?

The word you're looking for is "sidekicks," don't you know.

I'm the Funky Phantom, and this is Boo.

I'm Jabberjaw. Ha, ha.

Ugga bugga! Me Captain Caveman. Me smash.

[SPUTTERING]

Speed Buggy.

I'm sorry, but, uh, are you a car?

QUINLAN: Attention, everyone. If you could all take your seats.

I want to welcome you all to the competition.

I'll be honest, mystery solving is not really a priority for me...

...or anyone else in Crystal Cove...

...but the school district made a contribution to put on this event...

...so Mayor Jones encouraged me to take their money.

Go, Dad. The mayor's my dad. You guys might as well give up right now.

Also, after the dinner, we'll be having a mixer...

...DJ'd by K-GHOUL's Angel Dynamite.

Word, mystery solvers.

Angel Dynamite's gonna be spinning some mad licorice, so watch out.

Hey, now.

Uh. But before we begin all this joy...

...I'm sure you'd like to find out what we've all come here for.

Tonight's mystery is--

MAN: Your doom.

I am Lord Infernicus. And there's been a little change in plans.

[GROWLS THEN CROWD SCREAMS]

[INFERNICUS CACKLING]

[ALL GASP]

Hey, where is everyone?

- Shaggy? - Boo?

Ugga bugga!

[SPUTTERING]

Your friends are hidden somewhere in this building.

All communication with the outside world is cut off.

If you try to leave, or call for help, you'll never see them again.

You have until sunrise to find them.

Good luck.

[CACKLING]

My heart is racing. I can't breathe. I'm going down.

Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop!

[STAMMERING] Ooh. He's hyperventilating, don't you know.

- Oh. Me help big fish calm down. - No. Wait.

[JABBERJAW WHIMPERING]

[SIGHS]

Thanks. Oh, boy, that hit the spot. Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

Dead. Flame face wasn't lying, something is jamming the phones.

Principal Quinlan, is there any other way to get a message out?

Principal Quinlan?

[QUINLAN WHIMPERING]

Principal.

[SPUTTERS]

Leave me alone. Let me hide in peace.

Communications are jammed.

We need to unjam them. Now.

Well, there is a communication tower over the gym.

Infernicus warned us. No communication with the outside world.

Yeah.

Scooby, little help here?

Uh, Angel's right. We need help.

Teach, lead the way.

Dune buggy, since we're in a hurry, how about you give us a ride?

[SPUTTERING]

Wait. What do we do?

You're a dog, dog. Sniff out some clues. Ain't that what you mystery solvers do?

Mystery solvers? Us?

Me find Teen Angels. Captain Caveman!

[ALL GASP THEN CRASH]

[CAVEMAN GIGGLES]

What's that?

Wood shavings? A clue.

Oh, that could be anything, anything.

Leftovers from some beaver making a nest...

...or a whittler carving some nesting dolls, even.

Huh?

Heavens to Delaware. Don't forget the Funky Phantom.

QUINLAN: Whoa! SPEED BUGGY: Ha, ha!

It is so against school policy to have a dune buggy on the roof.

Kids are in danger, you dig?

You know, you're very robust for a woman.

Like those female wrestlers on TV, except not so veiny.

Is that it?

Yes. That's the school's communication tower.

Principal Scrimm installed it in the hopes of getting free cable.

[SPUTTERING]

Yeah.

In here.

[ALL GRUNTING]

[ALL YELL]

Hold on to my horses, this mystery just got hairier, don't you know.

Infernicus turned our friends into guinea pigs.

[SOBBING]

[SCOOBY GASPING]

Shaggy? Can you hear me?

Drop one pellet for yes, and two for no.

Would you do it for a Scooby Snack?

[GRUNTS]

That is not Shaggy. No way. Uh-uh.

What are you saying?

Of course it is. Let's face facts, hmm? Our friends are gone.

Possibly never coming back, even.

Teen Angels no more call me Cavie? And wash Cavie in scented bath?

And pick fleas out of Cavie hair?

Me not like. Me get primal urge to smash.

[GRUNTING]

Enough. Enough, already.

Someone needs to take charge of this mystery, don't you know.

And obviously, you're not the dog to do it. Snap.

Yeah? Well, who died and put you in charge?

Ooh, heh. Sorry.

Where are you going?

To the library to find a way to change them back...

...post-hasty pudding.

- Who to follow, dog or foppish ghost? - How should I know?

I'm just a shark from the future. Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

Don't you think we found them a little easy?

And why guinea pigs?

Give it up, Scooby-Doo.

I'm a ghost from the revolution, you're a dog.

Hello, little more street cred here.

Come back. We're missing something.

[FIRE CRACKLES]

[CACKLING]

[STAMMERING] Infernicus.

INFERNICUS: That's Lord Infernicus.

Get it right, sidekick. Ha-ha-ha!

[ALL SCREAM]

[INFERNICUS CACKLING]

[ALL WHIMPERING]

We're trapped.

Aargh! Time is running out, sidekicks.

Of course, you could always give up.

[INFERNICUS CACKLING]

Flamy man gone.

And so is--Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop. --the Funky Phantom.

What do we do now, Scooby-Doo?

Only thing we can do.

Solve this mystery before it's too late.

Oh. This is horrible. My nerves can't take any more.

[WHIMPERING]

[BARKS THEN WHIMPERS]

Me fix fish.

Thanks. I needed that.

SCOOBY: Hmm....

Look at this.

What's it say? What's it say?

Me no be able to read modern ink symbols.

Modern ink symbols mock Captain Caveman.

I can read. I help Shaggy with his homework sometimes.

Something about a ship leaving from Crystal Cove docks.

That's outside the school. Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck. We can't leave.

We need to find Angel and the others.

Lead the way, Scooby-Doo.

[SPEED BUGGY SPUTTERING]

SPEED BUGGY: Box. - Hey, now, baby, that shouldn't be there.

- What is it? - Scrambler.

Try your cell phone now, teach.

- Ah! It's working. INFERNICUS: Not for long.

You were warned: No communication until the mystery is solved.

Now you will pay the price.

[ALL SCREAMING]

[CACKLING]

Oh, baby.

That must have been some party. Teach?

I'm all right.

Oh, thank goodness Speed Buggy was there to help me out.

I owe that dune buggy my life. Wait, where is--?

BOTH: Speed Buggy!

- He's too heavy to lift out of there. - There's an emergency valve on the wall.

[GRUNTS]

ANGEL: He's not breathing.

[GRUNTING]

Oh, we're losing him.

No way, sister. This dune buggy ain't gonna die on Angel Dynamite's watch.

- You know CPR? - There's no mouth.

Just blow, woman, blow.

Sputter.

[QUINLAN SCREAMS]

[LAUGHS AND SPUTTERS]

No more foul plugs. Ha, ha!

I did it. I gave him life.

For the first time, I feel so alive.

Oh, we have to drown something so I can bring it back to life again.

No time. Communications are back up.

You still got that cell phone? We need to call the sheriff.

[GASPS]

Don't worry, I've confiscated a ton of these over the years.

We need to get to my office.

[WHISTLES]

Angel? Principal Quinlan?

Quiet. Uh, I hear something.

[TIRES SCREECHING]

[ALL YELL]

Ah.

Scooby?

Dog, we got the communications tower working.

We found a clue.

Teach, how long till we get to your office?

Right about now.

Ha, ha! Look at that, it does look like a turkey.

[PHONE RINGS]

Sheriff Bronson Stone.

Sheriff, this is Principal Quinlan. We've got an emergency at the school.

- We need you to get down to the docks. - Hold on there.

According to my caller ID, this is Amanda Murphy's phone.

Bronson, it's me.

Ha! You kids never quit.

And let me guess, you wanna know if my refrigerator is running?

Well, I'm no idiot. Ha! My refrigerator is right here.

That'll teach them.

Ah. Looks like we're on our own.

SCOOBY: There it is, the Crystal Cove docks.

[SPEED BUGGY SPUTTERING]

Look.

He's getting away.

Don't worry, now we're in my territory. Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

Me help too. Ride shark like pony.

Hurt skull man who took Teen Angels.

[JABBERJAW CHEERS]

Huh?

Get away from my ship, you pathetic mackerel.

- He's getting away. - Not for long. Captain Caveman!

No. No, no, no!

Yeah.

[CRASHES]

[HORN BLARING]

Huh?

Yo, hot head, pull it over, it's a wrap.

I have to admit, I admire your persistence.

Oh, wait, no, I don't.

[ALL GRUNT]

ANGEL: Watch out! QUINLAN: Aah!

[SPEED BUGGY GROWLING]

[GASPS]

- Shaggy. - Scooby-Doo. Like, help!

I was right. These guinea pigs are just--

Guinea pigs. Scooby, you're a genius.

Speed Buggy, pull in front of the truck. I've got a plan.

Piggies away.

[INFERNICUS GASPS]

What? No.

[GASPS]

- Aah! - Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop!

Oh, a wise guy, eh?

Aah!

[GRUNTS]

[INFERNICUS GROWLS]

Thanks, Angel, Principal Quinlan. It was starting to get ripe in there...

...although it was a pretty well-constructed box.

Don't thank us, baby. Thank them.

Look at that, for the first time ever, the sidekicks have solved the mystery.

Now, let's see exactly who Lord Infernicus is.

ALL: The Funky Phantom? - That's me, don't you know.

But why?

I was sick of being a sidekick, resentful even.

I'm not a real ghost.

[IN ENGLISH ACCENT] I'm Jonathan Wellington Muddlemore:

actor, thespian, dramatator.

I was behind in my rent at the Y...

...so a friend told me about this clock I could squat in.

They found me and thought I was a ghost. I figured, why not?

Ghost gig got me three hots and a cot, but I got tired of taking a back seat.

I wanted to headline, I wanted to be the boss, in charge even...

...with my own sidekicks.

That's when I stumbled upon the Mystery Solvers state finals.

I had workshopped my Lord Infernicus character at various comedy clubs...

...and state fairs around the country, and it had always been a hit.

It was a simple matter to use mirrors and a video projector...

...to make myself appear and fly.

A little smoke, fireworks...

...a skeleton puppet identical to my own bone structure for close-up work.

A pre-recorded voice, and the deed was done.

I even abducted my own cat, Boo.

The plan was to ship everyone off to Africa...

...where there is a desperate need for teenage mystery solvers.

I then created the ruse with the guinea pigs...

...sewing each of their tiny costumes by hand...

...using the actual vintage fabrics of their real-life counterparts...

...just to throw you off track. It was perfect, genius even.

Until your ridiculous dog started acting like a hero instead of a sidekick.

[SCOOBY GROWLS]

You lied to me.

[BOO YOWLING THEN PHANTOM SCREAMS]

Like, Scoob, heh, looks like you and your pals are the heroes of this mystery.

- Let's hear it for the sidekicks. Hip-hip. ALL: Hooray!

Hip-hip! Hooray!

Hip-hip! Hooray!

[GROANS]

- Scooby, are you okay? - He doesn't look so good, gang.

SCOOBY: What's happening? I don't feel so.... So well.

- Shaggy? - Scoob.

Scooby-Doo, calm down. I'm right here.

We're all right here.

- What happened? - You had a fever.

- You've been delirious for days. - Days?

But the Mystery Solver finals?

Oh, we blew that off. You know we'd never go without you.

Excuse me for a second.

FRED: Aah! Why? I still can't believe it.

- Why? Why? Why? - But I was there.

There was a shark, a caveman, and a dune buggy.

Dude, you mean, like, these?

It was a dream?

I guess I was afraid you'd go without me because you didn't need your sidekick.

No way. You're not a sidekick, you're a team member.

And besides, they moved the date just so you could go.

We haven't told Fred yet.

Yeah. The chairman himself came to see how you were doing.

Hello. How you doing?

Good to see you, a pleasure even.

[SCREAMS]

It's him. Funky Phantom. Funky Phantom.

Heavens to Delaware, was it something I said?

[English - US -SDH]