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[lively piano music]
2
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♪ ♪
3
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- Throughout human history,
4
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sex without love
5
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has been prudishly regarded
6
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as a shameful act,
7
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and yet, still it happens
8
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every single day.
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- The instructions say washing
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it in a warm bath of milk
11
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- is the best manner in which
- to prevent disease.
12
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- That's no matter.
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I use it frequently.
14
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I will rinse it
15
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when I return home.
16
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- With advancements
17
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in prophylactic technology,
18
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- finally, there
- was a comfortable barrier
19
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That protected from pregnancy
20
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and infection.
21
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- [sighs]
22
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I'll write you.
23
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- And so all that was left
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to suffer from
25
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was the pain
26
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of unrequited love.
27
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[upbeat music]
28
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♪ ♪
29
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- Lately,
30
00:01:00,501 --> 00:01:01,583
Darby had been avoiding
31
00:01:01,667 --> 00:01:02,811
the land mines of love
32
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entirely
33
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by hiding out
34
00:01:05,897 --> 00:01:07,708
and exploring Pornhub.
35
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- [groaning]
- Oh, God.
36
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♪ ♪
37
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[grunts]
38
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♪ ♪
39
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[sighs]
40
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♪ ♪
41
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Does anybody want breakfast?
42
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I'm gonna...
43
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- [moaning]
- More!
44
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Pull my hair.
45
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- Jim... Jim!
- [moaning]
46
00:01:26,583 --> 00:01:28,208
[both moaning]
47
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♪ ♪
48
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- Darby?
49
00:01:38,292 --> 00:01:40,208
Holy shit. Hi!
50
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- Oh, my God.
51
00:01:41,750 --> 00:01:43,394
- What...
- How are you doing?
52
00:01:43,500 --> 00:01:45,310
- What are you doing
- in my neighborhood?
53
00:01:45,417 --> 00:01:46,498
- Well, I'm just getting
54
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some coffee here.
55
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- Cool.
56
00:01:49,626 --> 00:01:50,833
Are you... back in New York?
57
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Did Politico send you back?
58
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- Oh, no, no.
59
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I actually... I quit.
60
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- [chuckles]
- Okay.
61
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That's amazing.
62
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- Hi, I'm Emily.
- So sorry.
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- Hi.
- Um, Darby, this is Emily.
64
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- Emily, Darby.
- Hi. So nice to meet you.
65
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- It's so good to meet you.
66
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- Um, so what are you doing
67
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now that you don't...
68
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That you're not in politics?
69
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- Are you gonna take up golf
- or something?
70
00:02:10,042 --> 00:02:11,333
[both laugh]
71
00:02:11,417 --> 00:02:13,268
- Uh, well, actually,
- Emily writes short stories,
72
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And we thought it'd be cool
73
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to trick out a camper van
74
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and drive around America,
75
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you know, coast to coast.
76
00:02:18,292 --> 00:02:19,686
- My... my thesis at Gallatin
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was "The Road as a Trope,"
78
00:02:21,208 --> 00:02:23,018
- so I just think I want to do
- a little more writing on that,
79
00:02:23,042 --> 00:02:24,310
- See if I can...
- Cool, cool.
80
00:02:24,417 --> 00:02:25,810
- She is an amazing writer.
- Mm.
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00:02:25,917 --> 00:02:27,018
- Oh, what are...
- What are you up to?
82
00:02:27,042 --> 00:02:28,282
Are you still working at, um...
83
00:02:28,333 --> 00:02:30,144
- Uh, no,
- I'm at the Whitney now.
84
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- Wow.
- Mm.
85
00:02:31,417 --> 00:02:32,434
- Nice.
- What are you doing there?
86
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- What am I not doing?
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00:02:33,583 --> 00:02:35,125
- I really... I love the Whitney.
88
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- It was so good to see you.
- All right. See you.
89
00:02:36,583 --> 00:02:37,851
- You too. Uh, totally.
- Great to see you.
90
00:02:37,875 --> 00:02:38,893
- And good luck
- with everything.
91
00:02:38,917 --> 00:02:40,102
- Thank you.
- You too.
92
00:02:40,208 --> 00:02:41,309
- Hey, it was so good
- to meet you.
93
00:02:41,333 --> 00:02:42,833
- So good to meet you too.
94
00:02:42,917 --> 00:02:44,852
- Just have the most fun, okay?
- Yeah, you too.
95
00:02:44,958 --> 00:02:46,060
- All right.
- See you.
96
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- I live this way.
- Oh, yep.
97
00:02:47,708 --> 00:02:48,917
- [laughs]
98
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- Babe, please,
99
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can you get dressed?
100
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- Do I have to come
- to the bris?
101
00:02:53,417 --> 00:02:54,935
- My mom asked us
- to get there early
102
00:02:55,042 --> 00:02:56,351
- So we could help her
- with the party.
103
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- Just tell her I'm sick.
104
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Please.
105
00:02:58,667 --> 00:03:00,519
- Oh, come on.
- It won't be all bad.
106
00:03:00,625 --> 00:03:02,226
- You know, the mohel,
- he's kind of famous.
107
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He did Jake Gyllenhaal.
108
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- We go uptown to your family's
- every weekend.
109
00:03:05,792 --> 00:03:07,768
- We were literally there
- 12 hours ago for Shabbat.
110
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- You have to come.
111
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My mother got you almond milk.
112
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- Guys...
113
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- something really bad
- just happened.
114
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- What?
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- I ran into Augie.
116
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- Both: No.
- Yeah.
117
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- For the first time
- in three years.
118
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- How did he look?
- Great.
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Yeah, he's, um,
120
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in New York now, I guess,
121
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- which I would know
- if I hadn't unfollowed him,
122
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- And then I wouldn't have been
- blindsided while wearing Crocs.
123
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- No.
- You know what?
124
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- No one ever talks
- about the perils
125
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Of not cyber-stalking an ex.
126
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- And he has a new girlfriend.
127
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- What the fuck, Jim?
128
00:03:35,792 --> 00:03:37,434
- Did you know Augie
- had a new girlfriend?
129
00:03:37,458 --> 00:03:39,519
- No.
- I'm not his fucking biographer.
130
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- Yeah, he, um,
- he quit Politico,
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And he and Emily
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are gonna, like,
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travel America in a camper van.
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- Ew.
- Yeah.
135
00:03:46,667 --> 00:03:48,351
- And I'm just wondering,
- like, what it says that,
136
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- Um, he broke up with me
- to pursue his career,
137
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- Which is fine,
- but then he gave up his career
138
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- For this new...
- For this other person.
139
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- Okay, baby girl,
- do you know what you need?
140
00:03:55,500 --> 00:03:57,019
- Mm.
- My coworker Eliza
141
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- Is having a barbecue,
- and you have to come.
142
00:03:58,958 --> 00:04:00,208
- Gonorrhea Eliza?
143
00:04:00,292 --> 00:04:02,060
- Mal, I told you
- not to tell anyone.
144
00:04:02,167 --> 00:04:03,685
- Whatever.
- It's just gonorrhea.
145
00:04:03,792 --> 00:04:05,352
- Anyway, she throws
- an awesome party.
146
00:04:05,458 --> 00:04:06,748
- Babe, doesn't Eliza, like,
147
00:04:06,772 --> 00:04:08,083
party enough at work?
148
00:04:08,167 --> 00:04:09,769
- James, we work
- at Webster Hall.
149
00:04:09,875 --> 00:04:10,956
It's a music venue.
150
00:04:10,980 --> 00:04:12,083
It's our job to party.
151
00:04:12,167 --> 00:04:13,373
- Sara, seriously,
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we promised my mom.
153
00:04:14,708 --> 00:04:16,708
- And what about what
- Rabbi Esther said last week
154
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About tikkun olam?
155
00:04:18,208 --> 00:04:19,435
We need to, like, repair
156
00:04:19,459 --> 00:04:20,708
the wrongs in the world.
157
00:04:20,792 --> 00:04:22,102
Darby needs me
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00:04:22,126 --> 00:04:23,458
to tikkun olam her
159
00:04:23,542 --> 00:04:24,958
with lots of free vodka.
160
00:04:25,042 --> 00:04:26,917
You both are welcome to come.
161
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:29,184
- I think I would rather
- go to a bris than a barbecue.
162
00:04:29,208 --> 00:04:30,310
- Okay, you don't know
163
00:04:30,334 --> 00:04:31,458
what you're saying.
164
00:04:31,542 --> 00:04:33,310
- Just go get dressed.
- Okay.
165
00:04:34,417 --> 00:04:36,292
- [gasps, groans]
166
00:04:37,375 --> 00:04:38,602
- [sighs]
- Do you think that
167
00:04:38,708 --> 00:04:40,435
- When Augie and I
- were texting, like,
168
00:04:40,542 --> 00:04:42,269
- He knew it was bullshit
- the whole time?
169
00:04:42,375 --> 00:04:43,456
Like, was he just, like,
170
00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:44,583
placating me with emojis?
171
00:04:44,667 --> 00:04:45,936
- Why do you always think
172
00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:47,250
of the darkest option?
173
00:04:47,333 --> 00:04:48,893
- I don't know, I just...
- I don't think that
174
00:04:48,917 --> 00:04:50,040
He's, like, this freaked out
175
00:04:50,064 --> 00:04:51,208
about running into me.
176
00:04:51,292 --> 00:04:52,727
- Time for some medicine.
- Look.
177
00:04:52,833 --> 00:04:53,917
What you need right now
178
00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:54,998
is a good,
179
00:04:55,022 --> 00:04:56,042
old-fashioned exorcism,
180
00:04:56,125 --> 00:04:58,477
- but instead of the old priest,
- it's a young, hot guy.
181
00:04:58,583 --> 00:04:59,684
- Mm.
- And instead of a cross,
182
00:04:59,708 --> 00:05:01,060
- It's a dick.
- Whoa!
183
00:05:01,167 --> 00:05:02,726
- Instead of holy water...
- No, no, no, no, no.
184
00:05:02,750 --> 00:05:03,873
I... whatever this, like,
185
00:05:03,897 --> 00:05:05,042
Catholic kink is,
186
00:05:05,125 --> 00:05:06,042
please work it out with Jim.
187
00:05:06,125 --> 00:05:07,333
Like, do some roleplay.
188
00:05:07,417 --> 00:05:08,643
- Please leave me out of it.
- Okay.
189
00:05:08,667 --> 00:05:10,147
- Whatever metaphor
- you want to use,
190
00:05:10,250 --> 00:05:11,602
It's time for mama
191
00:05:11,626 --> 00:05:13,000
to put on her big-girl pants.
192
00:05:13,083 --> 00:05:14,083
- Am I mama?
193
00:05:14,125 --> 00:05:15,310
- Yeah, mama.
- Yeah.
194
00:05:15,417 --> 00:05:16,417
What about this?
195
00:05:16,458 --> 00:05:17,750
[Fetty Wap's "679"]
196
00:05:17,833 --> 00:05:19,208
- No. Mama. Wh...
197
00:05:19,292 --> 00:05:20,875
- ♪ Look ♪
198
00:05:20,958 --> 00:05:22,894
- ♪ Baby girl,
- you're so damn fine, though ♪
199
00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:24,227
♪ I'm tryna know if I can
200
00:05:24,251 --> 00:05:25,500
hit it from behind, though ♪
201
00:05:25,583 --> 00:05:27,703
- ♪ I'm sippin' on you
- like some fine wine, though ♪
202
00:05:27,750 --> 00:05:28,977
♪ And when it's over,
203
00:05:29,001 --> 00:05:30,250
I press rewind, though ♪
204
00:05:30,333 --> 00:05:31,331
♪ Hey, you talkin' bands,
205
00:05:31,355 --> 00:05:32,375
girl, I got it ♪
206
00:05:32,458 --> 00:05:33,875
- Okay.
207
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,935
- All right.
- There's guys here.
208
00:05:36,042 --> 00:05:38,042
- And a lot of basic girls,
209
00:05:38,125 --> 00:05:39,248
so you get in there,
210
00:05:39,272 --> 00:05:40,417
my beautiful weirdo.
211
00:05:40,500 --> 00:05:41,790
- Whoa, I didn't know
212
00:05:41,814 --> 00:05:43,125
there'd be movie stars here.
213
00:05:43,208 --> 00:05:46,625
[both laughing]
214
00:05:46,708 --> 00:05:48,083
- That dude wants to hit it!
215
00:05:48,167 --> 00:05:50,060
- That dude's wearing
- a gold chain.
216
00:05:50,167 --> 00:05:51,375
- You made it! Hi!
217
00:05:51,458 --> 00:05:53,875
[indistinct chatter]
218
00:05:53,958 --> 00:05:55,310
- ♪ She walk past,
219
00:05:55,334 --> 00:05:56,708
I press rewind ♪
220
00:05:56,792 --> 00:05:57,708
[upbeat music]
221
00:05:57,792 --> 00:05:59,625
- This is fucked up,
222
00:05:59,708 --> 00:06:00,915
but I wish Jim wasn't
223
00:06:00,939 --> 00:06:02,167
so close to his family.
224
00:06:02,250 --> 00:06:03,333
It's, like, constant.
225
00:06:03,417 --> 00:06:05,060
- Yeah.
- It sounds abusive.
226
00:06:05,167 --> 00:06:06,519
- Look, if you went
227
00:06:06,543 --> 00:06:07,917
to as many brises as I do,
228
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:09,250
you'd feel the same way.
229
00:06:09,333 --> 00:06:10,750
I could, like, perform a bris.
230
00:06:10,833 --> 00:06:12,019
- Oh, my God.
- Right now.
231
00:06:12,125 --> 00:06:13,727
- Find me a baby dick,
- and I'll do it.
232
00:06:13,833 --> 00:06:14,750
I'll show you how it's done.
233
00:06:14,833 --> 00:06:16,250
And he's always like,
234
00:06:16,333 --> 00:06:17,976
- "Why don't you hold
- this cute little baby?
235
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:19,417
It's so cute. Hold it."
236
00:06:19,500 --> 00:06:21,309
- And I'm like, "I don't like
- the implications."
237
00:06:21,333 --> 00:06:23,269
- The implications?
- Yeah.
238
00:06:23,375 --> 00:06:24,958
- That your boyfriend loves you
239
00:06:25,042 --> 00:06:27,309
- and, like, maybe sees a future
- with you that involves babies?
240
00:06:27,333 --> 00:06:28,809
- Darby, do not guilt-trip me
- right now.
241
00:06:28,833 --> 00:06:29,851
- I'm not guilt-tripping you.
242
00:06:29,875 --> 00:06:30,792
He sounds like a monster.
243
00:06:30,875 --> 00:06:31,976
Get away as fast as you can.
244
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,083
- [laughs]
245
00:06:34,208 --> 00:06:35,477
- Mamaleh, where do you want me
246
00:06:35,501 --> 00:06:36,792
to put the rugelach?
247
00:06:36,875 --> 00:06:38,184
- Just over there
- on the sideboard.
248
00:06:38,208 --> 00:06:39,375
- Okay.
249
00:06:39,458 --> 00:06:40,684
- It's a shame
- Sara couldn't come.
250
00:06:40,708 --> 00:06:42,167
She loves my rugelach.
251
00:06:42,250 --> 00:06:44,410
- I know, but she got called
- into a concert for work.
252
00:06:44,458 --> 00:06:45,583
But she sends her love.
253
00:06:45,667 --> 00:06:47,208
- You're killing your mother.
254
00:06:47,292 --> 00:06:48,894
- Auntie DeeDee
- is kicking her butt
255
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,542
In the grandkids department.
256
00:06:50,625 --> 00:06:51,706
- Okay, Dad, but you know
257
00:06:51,730 --> 00:06:52,833
we're not really ready yet.
258
00:06:52,917 --> 00:06:54,208
- Just have one now,
259
00:06:54,292 --> 00:06:56,143
- and we'll take care of it
- until you're ready.
260
00:06:56,167 --> 00:06:57,583
- Where is Sara?
261
00:06:57,667 --> 00:06:58,851
- I made that kale salad
- she loves,
262
00:06:58,875 --> 00:07:00,208
The one with the cranberries.
263
00:07:00,292 --> 00:07:01,851
- She got called in
- to a concert at work.
264
00:07:01,875 --> 00:07:02,792
She sends her love.
265
00:07:02,875 --> 00:07:04,458
- Sara's not here?
266
00:07:04,542 --> 00:07:06,042
It's your cousin's bris.
267
00:07:06,125 --> 00:07:06,958
- Folks!
268
00:07:07,042 --> 00:07:08,625
Sara, my girlfriend,
269
00:07:08,708 --> 00:07:10,375
she sends her love.
270
00:07:10,458 --> 00:07:13,875
- ♪ And you ♪
271
00:07:13,958 --> 00:07:18,208
♪ You want to feel it all... ♪
272
00:07:18,292 --> 00:07:19,958
- Darby avoided mingling
273
00:07:20,042 --> 00:07:22,061
by stalking Augie's
274
00:07:22,085 --> 00:07:24,125
new girlfriend on Instagram,
275
00:07:24,208 --> 00:07:25,644
and while years later,
276
00:07:25,668 --> 00:07:27,125
she would come to understand
277
00:07:27,208 --> 00:07:28,248
the often large gap
278
00:07:28,272 --> 00:07:29,333
between the way
279
00:07:29,417 --> 00:07:30,394
people present themselves
280
00:07:30,418 --> 00:07:31,418
on social media
281
00:07:31,500 --> 00:07:32,477
and what their lives
282
00:07:32,501 --> 00:07:33,501
are really like,
283
00:07:33,583 --> 00:07:34,998
this stream of selfies
284
00:07:35,022 --> 00:07:36,458
simply made Darby,
285
00:07:36,542 --> 00:07:38,082
to put it colloquially,
286
00:07:38,106 --> 00:07:39,667
feel like shit.
287
00:07:39,750 --> 00:07:41,250
♪ ♪
288
00:07:41,333 --> 00:07:42,542
- What's that?
289
00:07:42,625 --> 00:07:44,184
- Oh, what... what,
- it's a party, and people
290
00:07:44,208 --> 00:07:45,559
- Should put their phones away
- and have a good time?
291
00:07:45,583 --> 00:07:47,227
- Thanks.
- Can you give me my phone back?
292
00:07:47,333 --> 00:07:48,500
♪ ♪
293
00:07:48,583 --> 00:07:49,726
- Sorry.
- I thought it would be cute.
294
00:07:49,750 --> 00:07:50,792
- Okay.
295
00:07:50,875 --> 00:07:52,309
- Just don't take
- other people's shit.
296
00:07:52,333 --> 00:07:53,415
- Damn. All right.
297
00:07:53,439 --> 00:07:54,542
I said I'm sorry.
298
00:07:54,625 --> 00:08:01,208
♪ ♪
299
00:08:01,292 --> 00:08:03,060
- Spin the Bottle. Wow.
- Hi!
300
00:08:03,167 --> 00:08:04,685
- Come here.
- Yeah.
301
00:08:04,792 --> 00:08:06,309
- This is definitely what you
- should be doing right now.
302
00:08:06,333 --> 00:08:08,125
Mm, yeah. He's cute.
303
00:08:08,208 --> 00:08:09,977
- Oh.
- Oh, my God. He's so hot.
304
00:08:10,083 --> 00:08:11,083
- Fingers crossed.
305
00:08:11,125 --> 00:08:12,602
- Good luck to you.
- Mm.
306
00:08:12,708 --> 00:08:14,292
Um...
307
00:08:14,375 --> 00:08:16,394
- ♪ Honey, you're
- the first thing that I see ♪
308
00:08:16,500 --> 00:08:17,934
- ♪ And I just can't
- control my love ♪
309
00:08:17,958 --> 00:08:18,958
- Okay.
310
00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:20,102
[chuckles]
311
00:08:20,126 --> 00:08:21,250
- Have fun.
312
00:08:21,333 --> 00:08:23,227
- ♪ When you walk into a room
313
00:08:23,251 --> 00:08:25,167
with me ♪
314
00:08:25,250 --> 00:08:26,894
- All right.
315
00:08:26,918 --> 00:08:28,583
- Love connection.
316
00:08:28,667 --> 00:08:33,583
♪ ♪
317
00:08:33,667 --> 00:08:34,958
- ♪ I can't control my love ♪
318
00:08:35,042 --> 00:08:36,208
- All right.
319
00:08:36,292 --> 00:08:37,894
- Wow.
- That's for you, friend.
320
00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,667
- ♪ I can't control my love ♪
321
00:08:39,750 --> 00:08:41,435
- This is fun.
- Uh, my lips hurt.
322
00:08:41,542 --> 00:08:42,852
- Can you look?
- Mm-hmm.
323
00:08:42,958 --> 00:08:44,560
- In a really nice way.
- Yeah.
324
00:08:44,667 --> 00:08:46,519
- It seemed like you
- were enjoying yourself.
325
00:08:46,625 --> 00:08:47,727
- Okay.
- [laughs]
326
00:08:47,833 --> 00:08:49,042
Are you okay?
327
00:08:49,125 --> 00:08:50,042
You don't have to do this...
328
00:08:50,125 --> 00:08:51,458
- No, I think I gotta go.
329
00:08:51,542 --> 00:08:52,768
- I don't want Jim to feel bad.
- Oh, Sara.
330
00:08:52,792 --> 00:08:54,042
Sara, don't leave me here.
331
00:08:54,125 --> 00:08:55,769
- You know what?
- You go forth,
332
00:08:55,875 --> 00:08:56,915
And you get on
333
00:08:56,939 --> 00:08:58,000
that dick wagon.
334
00:08:58,083 --> 00:08:59,602
- Mm.
- It is your destiny.
335
00:08:59,708 --> 00:09:00,934
- Very upset by the phrase
- "dick wagon."
336
00:09:00,958 --> 00:09:02,185
- Just giddyup...
- Don't.
337
00:09:02,292 --> 00:09:04,018
- And you just get on
- that little dick wagon.
338
00:09:04,042 --> 00:09:05,643
- I don't like the voice.
- I don't like this at all.
339
00:09:05,667 --> 00:09:06,851
- Stop. Stop.
- Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
340
00:09:06,875 --> 00:09:08,250
- Okay. Just stay.
341
00:09:08,333 --> 00:09:10,185
- Have fun.
- Live for me.
342
00:09:10,292 --> 00:09:11,625
Nice to meet you guys.
343
00:09:11,708 --> 00:09:13,000
See you later.
344
00:09:13,083 --> 00:09:13,917
Wow.
345
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:17,833
[Yumi Zouma's "Alena"]
346
00:09:17,917 --> 00:09:19,790
- ♪ With you,
347
00:09:19,814 --> 00:09:21,708
we're moving together ♪
348
00:09:21,792 --> 00:09:25,417
♪ And you ♪
349
00:09:25,500 --> 00:09:27,769
♪ Are slippin' away
350
00:09:27,793 --> 00:09:30,083
to forever ♪
351
00:09:30,167 --> 00:09:32,102
♪ Come over here
352
00:09:32,126 --> 00:09:34,083
and dance with me ♪
353
00:09:34,167 --> 00:09:35,811
♪ It's true that you'll never
354
00:09:35,835 --> 00:09:37,500
see me feel better ♪
355
00:09:37,583 --> 00:09:38,458
- [sighs]
356
00:09:38,542 --> 00:09:39,792
[urine pattering]
357
00:09:39,875 --> 00:09:41,227
- Hey.
- What the fuck?
358
00:09:41,333 --> 00:09:42,331
- Oh, fuck. Sorry.
359
00:09:42,355 --> 00:09:43,375
Can you not look?
360
00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:44,519
- Sorry for intruding
361
00:09:44,543 --> 00:09:45,625
on your public urination,
362
00:09:45,708 --> 00:09:46,988
- which is a crime,
- by the way.
363
00:09:47,042 --> 00:09:48,769
- Yeah, all right.
- All right.
364
00:09:48,875 --> 00:09:49,875
♪ ♪
365
00:09:49,917 --> 00:09:51,102
Oh, fuck!
366
00:09:51,126 --> 00:09:52,333
Is that a nail?
367
00:09:52,417 --> 00:09:54,060
- What kind of fucking...
- You okay?
368
00:09:54,167 --> 00:09:55,248
- Yep.
369
00:09:55,272 --> 00:09:56,375
Just cut myself.
370
00:09:56,458 --> 00:09:58,352
- Oh, fuck,
- it's really bleeding.
371
00:09:58,458 --> 00:09:59,458
- Let me see.
372
00:09:59,542 --> 00:10:01,458
- It's fine, it's fine.
373
00:10:01,542 --> 00:10:03,102
- Oh, God.
- Listen.
374
00:10:03,208 --> 00:10:05,102
- My, uh... my apartment's
- right downstairs.
375
00:10:05,208 --> 00:10:06,476
- I got some peroxide,
- you wanna clean that up.
376
00:10:06,500 --> 00:10:07,684
- No, I'm fine,
- I'm fine, I'm fine.
377
00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:08,790
Just, like,
378
00:10:08,814 --> 00:10:09,917
I'll find a towel
379
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:11,250
or a napkin or something.
380
00:10:11,333 --> 00:10:12,809
- You're gonna find a towel
- or a napkin?
381
00:10:12,833 --> 00:10:14,477
- I don't...
- I don't know!
382
00:10:14,583 --> 00:10:15,583
- Okay, yes.
- Okay.
383
00:10:15,625 --> 00:10:16,792
- Can I get cleaned up?
384
00:10:16,875 --> 00:10:18,475
- Thank you.
- That's a very sweet offer.
385
00:10:18,500 --> 00:10:20,394
- I'm Danny.
- Hi, I'm Darby.
386
00:10:20,500 --> 00:10:21,540
I'm the idiot
387
00:10:21,564 --> 00:10:22,625
who cut her leg.
388
00:10:22,708 --> 00:10:24,125
- This is me.
389
00:10:24,208 --> 00:10:25,417
♪ ♪
390
00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:26,893
- You better not
- try to murder me.
391
00:10:26,917 --> 00:10:28,417
Okay? I'm armed.
392
00:10:28,500 --> 00:10:31,792
♪ ♪
393
00:10:31,875 --> 00:10:33,125
- Trying to blind yourself?
394
00:10:33,208 --> 00:10:34,352
- [laughing]
- Jesus.
395
00:10:34,458 --> 00:10:35,833
♪ ♪
396
00:10:35,917 --> 00:10:37,500
- Hi!
397
00:10:37,583 --> 00:10:38,500
[all shushing]
398
00:10:38,583 --> 00:10:40,000
- Baby's sleeping.
399
00:10:40,083 --> 00:10:41,560
- [whispering]
- Sorry. I'm sorry.
400
00:10:41,667 --> 00:10:42,708
- Babe, you made it.
401
00:10:42,792 --> 00:10:43,792
- Yeah.
402
00:10:43,833 --> 00:10:45,000
Hi.
403
00:10:45,083 --> 00:10:46,500
- What a wonderful surprise.
404
00:10:46,583 --> 00:10:48,292
Jim said you had to work late.
405
00:10:48,375 --> 00:10:50,167
- Oh, yeah.
406
00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:51,686
Well, you know,
407
00:10:51,710 --> 00:10:53,167
the entertainment industry.
408
00:10:53,250 --> 00:10:55,667
Just out there saving lives.
409
00:10:55,750 --> 00:10:57,226
- Thanks for coming.
- Yeah, of course.
410
00:10:57,250 --> 00:10:58,809
- Sara, can I get you
- something to drink?
411
00:10:58,833 --> 00:11:00,167
I have your almond milk.
412
00:11:00,250 --> 00:11:01,352
- Oh, you know what?
413
00:11:01,376 --> 00:11:02,500
I'm good. Thank you.
414
00:11:02,583 --> 00:11:04,958
- I tell Jim every day, Sara,
415
00:11:05,042 --> 00:11:06,019
you're the only thing
416
00:11:06,043 --> 00:11:07,043
he did right.
417
00:11:07,125 --> 00:11:09,458
- I tell him that, too, Diane.
418
00:11:09,542 --> 00:11:10,833
Oh, my God.
419
00:11:10,917 --> 00:11:12,519
- [whispering]
- How was the bris?
420
00:11:12,625 --> 00:11:13,748
- Everyone except Todd
421
00:11:13,772 --> 00:11:14,917
seemed to have a good time.
422
00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:16,144
- Great.
423
00:11:16,168 --> 00:11:17,333
- Do you wanna hold Todd?
424
00:11:17,417 --> 00:11:18,726
- No, no, no,
- I don't want to...
425
00:11:18,750 --> 00:11:20,018
- I have to use
- the bathroom anyway.
426
00:11:20,042 --> 00:11:21,500
He loves being rocked.
427
00:11:21,583 --> 00:11:22,851
- Well, I was actually just
- gonna get a plate first.
428
00:11:22,875 --> 00:11:24,352
- Are you sure?
- Yeah.
429
00:11:24,458 --> 00:11:25,809
- I'll come back after.
- You should hold the baby.
430
00:11:25,833 --> 00:11:26,708
- Stop it.
431
00:11:26,792 --> 00:11:28,519
- All right.
- Ahh!
432
00:11:28,625 --> 00:11:29,769
- Sorry.
433
00:11:29,793 --> 00:11:30,958
- Fuck. Fuck!
434
00:11:31,833 --> 00:11:32,833
- All right.
435
00:11:32,875 --> 00:11:34,250
[blowing]
436
00:11:34,333 --> 00:11:36,708
[music playing in distance]
437
00:11:36,792 --> 00:11:38,061
Um, I don't think
438
00:11:38,085 --> 00:11:39,375
that it's gonna scar,
439
00:11:39,458 --> 00:11:41,540
but maybe put, like,
440
00:11:41,564 --> 00:11:43,667
aloe vera on it for a week.
441
00:11:43,750 --> 00:11:45,375
- Okay.
442
00:11:45,458 --> 00:11:46,435
Thank you.
443
00:11:46,459 --> 00:11:47,459
- There you go.
444
00:11:47,542 --> 00:11:49,477
- Still fucking hurts, though.
- Jesus.
445
00:11:49,583 --> 00:11:51,042
- I got ibuprofen.
446
00:11:51,125 --> 00:11:52,809
- Uh, you shouldn't take it
- on an empty stomach, though.
447
00:11:52,833 --> 00:11:54,250
You had food tonight?
448
00:11:54,333 --> 00:11:56,185
- Um, I had a Bloody Mary
449
00:11:56,209 --> 00:11:58,083
that had celery in it.
450
00:11:58,167 --> 00:11:59,375
- Yum.
451
00:11:59,458 --> 00:12:00,809
- Uh, how about I make you
- a little plate?
452
00:12:00,833 --> 00:12:02,269
I got nice olives,
453
00:12:02,293 --> 00:12:03,750
I got mozzarella.
454
00:12:04,500 --> 00:12:06,020
- Yeah, okay. That sounds good.
- Yeah?
455
00:12:06,125 --> 00:12:07,000
Great.
456
00:12:07,083 --> 00:12:08,000
- [mouthing word]
457
00:12:08,083 --> 00:12:13,583
♪ ♪
458
00:12:13,667 --> 00:12:15,123
So what's the deal with this
459
00:12:15,147 --> 00:12:16,625
creepy empty room?
460
00:12:16,708 --> 00:12:18,394
- I used to live here
- with my girlfriend,
461
00:12:18,500 --> 00:12:20,083
And when she broke up with me,
462
00:12:20,167 --> 00:12:22,144
- she took all the furniture,
- so...
463
00:12:22,250 --> 00:12:23,542
- Damn, that sucks.
464
00:12:23,625 --> 00:12:25,375
Oh, you got two phones.
465
00:12:25,458 --> 00:12:26,875
So you're a drug dealer.
466
00:12:26,958 --> 00:12:28,060
- That's actually
467
00:12:28,084 --> 00:12:29,208
a very hurtful stereotype.
468
00:12:29,292 --> 00:12:30,436
- Oh, sorry, I didn't mean
469
00:12:30,460 --> 00:12:31,625
to hurt your feelings.
470
00:12:31,708 --> 00:12:32,792
♪ ♪
471
00:12:32,875 --> 00:12:33,958
- All right.
472
00:12:34,042 --> 00:12:35,292
Here we go.
473
00:12:35,375 --> 00:12:36,894
- Whoa.
474
00:12:36,918 --> 00:12:38,458
This is very artfully arranged.
475
00:12:38,542 --> 00:12:39,542
- Yeah.
- This is amazing.
476
00:12:39,583 --> 00:12:41,000
- I used to work at a deli.
477
00:12:41,083 --> 00:12:43,125
♪ ♪
478
00:12:43,208 --> 00:12:44,333
- Mm.
479
00:12:45,542 --> 00:12:47,144
- Okay.
- Good? Good?
480
00:12:47,250 --> 00:12:48,351
- All right, come on. Sit.
- What do you want?
481
00:12:48,375 --> 00:12:49,434
- The bed?
- The lawn chair?
482
00:12:49,458 --> 00:12:50,917
You got options.
483
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:52,123
- I guess the lawn chair's
484
00:12:52,147 --> 00:12:53,292
better for digestion.
485
00:12:53,375 --> 00:12:54,394
- All right.
486
00:12:54,418 --> 00:12:55,458
Lawn chair it is.
487
00:12:55,542 --> 00:12:58,583
♪ ♪
488
00:12:58,667 --> 00:12:59,665
- Wow.
489
00:12:59,689 --> 00:13:00,708
Dinner and a show.
490
00:13:00,792 --> 00:13:01,917
- Sorry.
491
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:03,352
I get crazy OCD
492
00:13:03,376 --> 00:13:04,750
with the chin-ups.
493
00:13:05,792 --> 00:13:07,123
- How many do you do,
494
00:13:07,147 --> 00:13:08,500
like, every day?
495
00:13:08,583 --> 00:13:10,583
- Uh, like, 100.
496
00:13:10,667 --> 00:13:11,769
Actually, like, exactly 100.
497
00:13:11,793 --> 00:13:12,917
- What?
498
00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:14,435
- I got a lot
- of nervous energy.
499
00:13:14,542 --> 00:13:15,582
- 100?
500
00:13:15,606 --> 00:13:16,667
- That's not that many.
501
00:13:16,750 --> 00:13:18,061
- No, when we used to do those
502
00:13:18,085 --> 00:13:19,417
presidential fitness tests,
503
00:13:19,500 --> 00:13:20,708
I couldn't even do one.
504
00:13:20,792 --> 00:13:21,851
- I would just, like,
- get up there,
505
00:13:21,875 --> 00:13:22,875
And I would just hang.
506
00:13:22,917 --> 00:13:24,042
- You could do a chin-up.
507
00:13:24,125 --> 00:13:25,477
- I absolutely cannot.
- Come on.
508
00:13:25,583 --> 00:13:27,309
- No, petite people
- are very good at chin-ups.
509
00:13:27,333 --> 00:13:28,773
- That's a very hurtful
- stereotype.
510
00:13:28,875 --> 00:13:31,269
- Come here
- and put that down for a second.
511
00:13:31,375 --> 00:13:33,333
♪ ♪
512
00:13:33,417 --> 00:13:34,542
- I can't.
513
00:13:34,625 --> 00:13:35,865
- All right. Hop up.
- "Hop up"?
514
00:13:35,958 --> 00:13:37,060
- Really?
- Okay, fine.
515
00:13:37,167 --> 00:13:38,269
- May I?
- That's offensive.
516
00:13:38,375 --> 00:13:39,769
- You good?
- Yes, please.
517
00:13:39,875 --> 00:13:40,875
- [grunts]
- There you go.
518
00:13:40,958 --> 00:13:42,042
Both: One.
519
00:13:42,125 --> 00:13:43,434
- You got one more.
- You got one more.
520
00:13:43,458 --> 00:13:44,769
- [grunts] I can't!
- All right.
521
00:13:44,875 --> 00:13:46,059
- No, you just...
- You have to do an even number
522
00:13:46,083 --> 00:13:47,443
- Or else the world
- will blow up.
523
00:13:47,500 --> 00:13:48,684
- Is that how that works?
- There you go.
524
00:13:48,708 --> 00:13:49,769
- [laughs]
- Ooh!
525
00:13:49,875 --> 00:13:51,644
- Wow, your hair
- smells really nice.
526
00:13:51,750 --> 00:13:53,125
- Oh. Thank you.
527
00:13:53,208 --> 00:13:54,915
Yes, I... I...
528
00:13:54,939 --> 00:13:56,667
I have this, um,
529
00:13:56,750 --> 00:13:58,208
hair mask thing that I use.
530
00:13:58,292 --> 00:13:59,292
- Hmm.
531
00:13:59,375 --> 00:14:06,542
♪ ♪
532
00:14:10,833 --> 00:14:12,915
- I can't even look at rugelach
533
00:14:12,939 --> 00:14:15,042
without gaining ten pounds.
534
00:14:15,125 --> 00:14:16,375
- Come on, Ruth.
535
00:14:16,458 --> 00:14:18,394
- You look like you're
- about to blow away.
536
00:14:18,500 --> 00:14:19,601
- Am I gonna
- have to force feed you
537
00:14:19,625 --> 00:14:21,208
Some of this lox right here?
538
00:14:21,292 --> 00:14:22,457
- Oh, you really know how
539
00:14:22,481 --> 00:14:23,667
to make an old broad's day.
540
00:14:23,750 --> 00:14:24,667
[both laugh]
541
00:14:24,750 --> 00:14:25,875
- How you been?
542
00:14:25,958 --> 00:14:28,417
- Oh, I'm hanging in there.
543
00:14:28,500 --> 00:14:29,542
- Mm?
544
00:14:29,625 --> 00:14:31,269
- I redid the bathrooms.
- Okay.
545
00:14:31,375 --> 00:14:32,750
- Although I don't know why.
546
00:14:32,833 --> 00:14:34,559
- They're gonna stick me
- in a home soon enough.
547
00:14:34,583 --> 00:14:35,560
- Stop it.
548
00:14:35,584 --> 00:14:36,584
That is not true.
549
00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:38,019
- I've been going downhill
550
00:14:38,043 --> 00:14:39,417
since Richard passed.
551
00:14:39,500 --> 00:14:41,311
He was the real life
552
00:14:41,335 --> 00:14:43,167
in the house.
553
00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:44,417
- Mm.
554
00:14:44,500 --> 00:14:46,144
- Do you know
- I never cooked a meal
555
00:14:46,250 --> 00:14:47,665
Since two years
556
00:14:47,689 --> 00:14:49,125
into our marriage?
557
00:14:49,208 --> 00:14:50,456
He got so tired
558
00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:51,750
of my terrible cooking.
559
00:14:51,833 --> 00:14:52,667
- [laughs]
560
00:14:52,750 --> 00:14:53,958
- He... he said one day,
561
00:14:54,042 --> 00:14:55,332
"Step aside.
562
00:14:55,356 --> 00:14:56,667
This is my job now."
563
00:14:56,750 --> 00:14:58,394
- I remember.
- You told me that.
564
00:14:58,500 --> 00:14:59,602
- And he never made me
565
00:14:59,626 --> 00:15:00,750
feel guilty about it.
566
00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:01,977
- Mm.
567
00:15:02,001 --> 00:15:03,167
- Yeah, he was a real winner.
568
00:15:03,250 --> 00:15:05,102
- [laughs]
569
00:15:05,126 --> 00:15:07,000
- 55 years of marriage.
570
00:15:07,083 --> 00:15:08,623
- Well, I hope to have that
571
00:15:08,647 --> 00:15:10,208
with Jim one day.
572
00:15:12,500 --> 00:15:13,581
- Sara...
573
00:15:13,605 --> 00:15:14,708
- Mm-hmm?
574
00:15:14,792 --> 00:15:16,186
- Let him go
575
00:15:16,210 --> 00:15:17,625
if you don't want him.
576
00:15:18,375 --> 00:15:20,333
Life's too short.
577
00:15:21,875 --> 00:15:23,417
- I love Jim.
578
00:15:24,750 --> 00:15:26,292
♪ ♪
579
00:15:26,375 --> 00:15:28,333
- So what do you do?
580
00:15:28,417 --> 00:15:29,644
- Um, I work
581
00:15:29,668 --> 00:15:30,917
at the Whitney Museum.
582
00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:32,500
- Whoa.
583
00:15:32,583 --> 00:15:33,708
Fancy.
584
00:15:34,542 --> 00:15:36,185
- Yeah, I guess.
- My God.
585
00:15:36,292 --> 00:15:38,167
- I'm a... a curator.
586
00:15:38,250 --> 00:15:39,125
- Really?
587
00:15:39,208 --> 00:15:40,500
God, that's crazy.
588
00:15:40,583 --> 00:15:42,263
- You know,
- I've never been there before.
589
00:15:42,292 --> 00:15:43,686
Never been to Ellis Island,
590
00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:45,125
either, I guess, but...
591
00:15:45,208 --> 00:15:46,458
- Well, I'm a junior curator.
592
00:15:46,542 --> 00:15:48,022
- Hey, you're the only person
- I know
593
00:15:48,125 --> 00:15:49,601
- With, like,
- a fancy job like that.
594
00:15:49,625 --> 00:15:51,250
It's awesome.
595
00:15:52,042 --> 00:15:53,935
- Yeah.
- I mean, it's not a big deal.
596
00:15:54,042 --> 00:15:55,208
Um, what do you do?
597
00:15:55,292 --> 00:15:56,498
- Uh, long-term,
598
00:15:56,522 --> 00:15:57,750
me and my cousin
599
00:15:57,833 --> 00:15:58,935
are in the process
600
00:15:58,959 --> 00:16:00,083
of trying to start,
601
00:16:00,167 --> 00:16:02,542
like, a bagel shop, so...
602
00:16:02,625 --> 00:16:03,875
- Cool.
603
00:16:04,417 --> 00:16:05,750
I love bagels.
604
00:16:06,458 --> 00:16:07,858
- You know,
- you're very beautiful.
605
00:16:08,417 --> 00:16:10,137
- And look, sorry
- if I was a little rusty.
606
00:16:10,167 --> 00:16:11,287
It's been a while since Bri.
607
00:16:11,333 --> 00:16:12,667
- Oh.
608
00:16:12,750 --> 00:16:13,831
Well, how long has it been
609
00:16:13,855 --> 00:16:14,958
since you guys broke up?
610
00:16:15,042 --> 00:16:16,500
- Three years.
611
00:16:16,583 --> 00:16:18,019
- Okay.
- That's a long time.
612
00:16:18,125 --> 00:16:19,500
- I know, I'm a freak.
613
00:16:19,583 --> 00:16:21,393
- That's the deal with
- the second phone, by the way.
614
00:16:21,417 --> 00:16:23,102
- It's got all her voicemails
- on it
615
00:16:23,208 --> 00:16:24,977
- From before she fell
- out of love with me,
616
00:16:25,083 --> 00:16:26,851
- And I don't know
- how to transfer the messages,
617
00:16:26,875 --> 00:16:28,686
So now I'm just paying for
618
00:16:28,710 --> 00:16:30,542
two phones like a fucking tool.
619
00:16:30,625 --> 00:16:31,956
- That's a sad story,
620
00:16:31,980 --> 00:16:33,333
Danny Two Phones.
621
00:16:33,417 --> 00:16:34,708
- Danny Two Phones.
622
00:16:34,792 --> 00:16:36,727
- That's... I like that.
- Yeah.
623
00:16:36,833 --> 00:16:38,331
- You should get rid
624
00:16:38,355 --> 00:16:39,875
of that phone, you know?
625
00:16:39,958 --> 00:16:41,667
Like, it's holding you back.
626
00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:43,352
- Like, start over.
- You'll feel better.
627
00:16:43,458 --> 00:16:44,915
- [sighs]
628
00:16:44,939 --> 00:16:46,417
I guess you're right.
629
00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:47,498
What the fuck am I doing
630
00:16:47,522 --> 00:16:48,542
with my life?
631
00:16:48,625 --> 00:16:50,185
- I should.
- I should delete this shit.
632
00:16:50,292 --> 00:16:51,852
- I should just...
- I should move on.
633
00:16:52,583 --> 00:16:53,893
- Yo, baby, I'm still
- stuck at work right now...
634
00:16:53,917 --> 00:16:55,102
- Oh, man.
- No!
635
00:16:55,208 --> 00:16:57,060
- No, no, no, no, no.
- Don't do this.
636
00:16:57,167 --> 00:16:58,602
- Stay with me. Come on.
- Oh, man.
637
00:16:58,708 --> 00:16:59,873
- Hey, listen.
638
00:16:59,897 --> 00:17:01,083
She's not coming back, right?
639
00:17:01,167 --> 00:17:02,290
- [breathes deeply]
640
00:17:02,314 --> 00:17:03,458
You know what?
641
00:17:03,542 --> 00:17:05,185
- Fuck Brianna.
- Yeah, fuck Brianna.
642
00:17:05,292 --> 00:17:06,727
- Fuck Brianna.
- Never liked her.
643
00:17:06,833 --> 00:17:08,769
- I'm throwing this shit
- out the window.
644
00:17:08,875 --> 00:17:10,167
- Holy shit.
645
00:17:10,250 --> 00:17:12,102
- Oh, my God, are you actually
- gonna do it?
646
00:17:12,208 --> 00:17:14,144
- Oh, my God,
- am I actually doing this?
647
00:17:14,250 --> 00:17:15,530
- Dude, I believe in you!
- Okay.
648
00:17:15,625 --> 00:17:17,519
- Yeah. Yeah.
- I'm gonna do it, right?
649
00:17:17,625 --> 00:17:18,665
All right.
650
00:17:18,689 --> 00:17:19,750
[exhales sharply]
651
00:17:19,833 --> 00:17:21,435
- [groans]
- [exclaims]
652
00:17:21,542 --> 00:17:22,519
Holy shit!
653
00:17:22,543 --> 00:17:23,543
- Whoo!
654
00:17:23,625 --> 00:17:24,875
Nothing but net.
655
00:17:24,958 --> 00:17:26,894
- I'm Danny-fucking-One-Phone
- now, baby!
656
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:28,331
- Yeah, you are!
657
00:17:28,355 --> 00:17:29,708
Oh, my God!
658
00:17:29,792 --> 00:17:31,375
How do you feel?
659
00:17:31,458 --> 00:17:32,875
- God, I feel fucking great.
660
00:17:32,958 --> 00:17:34,000
- Yeah.
661
00:17:34,083 --> 00:17:35,559
- I feel like a weight's
- been lifted.
662
00:17:35,583 --> 00:17:36,458
- Yeah. Good.
663
00:17:36,542 --> 00:17:39,333
- [breathing heavily]
664
00:17:39,417 --> 00:17:43,583
Hey, do you believe in fate?
665
00:17:43,667 --> 00:17:44,875
- Um...
666
00:17:44,958 --> 00:17:46,477
- Because I feel like
667
00:17:46,501 --> 00:17:48,042
I met you for a reason.
668
00:17:48,125 --> 00:17:49,894
I mean, even at that party,
669
00:17:49,918 --> 00:17:51,708
you stood out to me,
670
00:17:51,792 --> 00:17:53,000
and I took the D train today.
671
00:17:53,083 --> 00:17:54,417
I never take the D train.
672
00:17:54,500 --> 00:17:56,000
Never.
673
00:17:56,667 --> 00:17:58,560
- What does the D train
- have to do with...
674
00:17:58,667 --> 00:18:00,292
- D for Darby.
675
00:18:01,167 --> 00:18:03,019
- Oh.
- Or D for Danny.
676
00:18:03,125 --> 00:18:04,165
- No. No, no, no.
677
00:18:04,189 --> 00:18:05,250
- Or Dalmatians or...
678
00:18:05,333 --> 00:18:06,373
- I met you for a reason,
679
00:18:06,397 --> 00:18:07,458
and it's...
680
00:18:07,542 --> 00:18:08,686
Oh, my...
681
00:18:08,710 --> 00:18:09,875
It's fucking crazy
682
00:18:09,958 --> 00:18:12,227
- how your whole life can change
- in a night.
683
00:18:13,542 --> 00:18:16,667
[soft indistinct chatter]
684
00:18:16,750 --> 00:18:18,602
- Hey.
- I'll hold him.
685
00:18:18,708 --> 00:18:19,769
- Really?
- Yeah.
686
00:18:19,875 --> 00:18:20,958
- Sit... sit over there.
687
00:18:21,042 --> 00:18:22,083
- Okay.
688
00:18:22,167 --> 00:18:23,394
- You want me to sit?
- Yeah.
689
00:18:27,875 --> 00:18:29,042
- [mouthing words]
690
00:18:29,708 --> 00:18:30,976
- He likes to be upright.
- Okay.
691
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:32,769
- Yeah.
- All right. [grunts]
692
00:18:32,875 --> 00:18:35,542
- Oh, he loves you.
693
00:18:37,042 --> 00:18:38,352
- Oh, my God, babe,
694
00:18:38,376 --> 00:18:39,708
you look so hot.
695
00:18:39,792 --> 00:18:41,477
- I got...
- I gotta Instagram this.
696
00:18:41,583 --> 00:18:42,833
Hold on.
697
00:18:42,917 --> 00:18:44,227
So cute.
698
00:18:44,251 --> 00:18:45,583
- [chuckles]
699
00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:47,061
- [laughs softly]
700
00:18:47,085 --> 00:18:48,500
Oh...
701
00:18:48,583 --> 00:18:49,917
- Ooh.
702
00:18:50,583 --> 00:18:51,823
- [quietly]
- Do you smell that?
703
00:18:51,917 --> 00:18:53,292
- No.
704
00:18:53,375 --> 00:18:54,477
- For real?
- Yeah.
705
00:18:54,583 --> 00:18:55,769
I think he...
706
00:18:55,793 --> 00:18:57,000
I think he pooped.
707
00:18:57,625 --> 00:18:59,269
- It's getting so late.
- Oh.
708
00:18:59,375 --> 00:19:00,373
- I know, I hate to...
709
00:19:00,397 --> 00:19:01,417
- No, no.
710
00:19:01,500 --> 00:19:02,894
- I... I understand.
- Yeah.
711
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:04,123
And I, you know...
712
00:19:04,147 --> 00:19:05,292
I have work in the morning.
713
00:19:05,375 --> 00:19:07,417
- Right, right.
714
00:19:07,500 --> 00:19:09,000
[music playing in distance]
715
00:19:09,083 --> 00:19:10,498
Hey, do you know...
716
00:19:10,522 --> 00:19:11,958
Do you know Andrew Dice Clay?
717
00:19:12,042 --> 00:19:13,810
- No. Who's that?
- Oh, my God.
718
00:19:13,917 --> 00:19:15,375
He's this amazing comedian.
719
00:19:15,458 --> 00:19:17,750
He's got a show on Saturday,
720
00:19:17,833 --> 00:19:20,019
and uh, you know, we could
721
00:19:20,043 --> 00:19:22,250
do dinner, um, beforehand,
722
00:19:22,333 --> 00:19:23,667
and I got my cousin's car,
723
00:19:23,750 --> 00:19:25,226
- 'cause he's out of town
- for the whole month,
724
00:19:25,250 --> 00:19:27,185
- So you wouldn't even
- have to take the train.
725
00:19:27,292 --> 00:19:28,685
- I could swoop you.
- Say yes.
726
00:19:28,792 --> 00:19:31,250
- Um, ooh, Saturday's not good.
727
00:19:31,333 --> 00:19:32,500
- Oh, man.
728
00:19:33,542 --> 00:19:35,022
- Well, Friday...
- What about Friday?
729
00:19:35,083 --> 00:19:36,226
- Friday's bucket hat night
- at the Mets game.
730
00:19:36,250 --> 00:19:37,417
That'd be amazing.
731
00:19:38,500 --> 00:19:40,185
- You know
- what's so fucking crazy?
732
00:19:40,292 --> 00:19:41,625
This is so fucking crazy,
733
00:19:41,708 --> 00:19:42,852
and I'm sorry I didn't
734
00:19:42,876 --> 00:19:44,042
say anything before.
735
00:19:45,542 --> 00:19:47,519
I'm actually moving
736
00:19:47,543 --> 00:19:49,542
to Cleveland on Monday.
737
00:19:49,625 --> 00:19:51,375
- Cleveland?
738
00:19:51,458 --> 00:19:53,218
- You're trading the Whitney
- for Cleveland?
739
00:19:53,292 --> 00:19:54,644
- Um, yeah, they...
740
00:19:54,668 --> 00:19:56,042
They offered me this big job
741
00:19:56,125 --> 00:19:57,311
at the, um,
742
00:19:57,335 --> 00:19:58,542
Cleveland Museum of Art,
743
00:19:58,625 --> 00:20:01,083
and um, this party
744
00:20:01,167 --> 00:20:02,394
was kind of like my last hurrah
745
00:20:02,418 --> 00:20:03,667
in the city,
746
00:20:03,750 --> 00:20:04,811
and I... I should've said
747
00:20:04,835 --> 00:20:05,917
something before,
748
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:07,686
but I didn't want to ruin
749
00:20:07,710 --> 00:20:09,417
the kind of... vibe.
750
00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:11,125
- Damn.
751
00:20:13,167 --> 00:20:14,560
- [sighs]
- Yeah, I know.
752
00:20:14,667 --> 00:20:16,417
- I finally met someone good.
753
00:20:16,500 --> 00:20:17,894
- I'm sorry.
- No, no.
754
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:19,250
I mean...
755
00:20:19,333 --> 00:20:21,019
- Don't be sorry.
- No.
756
00:20:21,125 --> 00:20:22,875
I'm really glad I met you.
757
00:20:23,542 --> 00:20:24,540
- Yeah, me too.
758
00:20:24,564 --> 00:20:25,583
Me too.
759
00:20:25,667 --> 00:20:27,269
Um, I should really get going,
760
00:20:27,293 --> 00:20:28,917
though.
761
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:30,809
- Hey, let me... let me at least
- give you a ride home.
762
00:20:30,833 --> 00:20:31,831
My cousin's car's a BMW.
763
00:20:31,855 --> 00:20:32,875
- Oh, no.
764
00:20:32,958 --> 00:20:34,310
I'm, like,
765
00:20:34,334 --> 00:20:35,708
right by the subway, so...
766
00:20:37,458 --> 00:20:39,458
Bye, Danny.
767
00:20:40,542 --> 00:20:42,248
- Good-bye...
768
00:20:42,272 --> 00:20:44,000
my little Thumbelina.
769
00:20:45,083 --> 00:20:46,583
- Bye.
770
00:20:46,667 --> 00:20:49,667
[pensive music]
771
00:20:49,750 --> 00:20:55,958
♪ ♪
772
00:20:57,333 --> 00:20:59,458
Hey. Good morning.
773
00:20:59,542 --> 00:21:01,542
- Oh. You were up late.
774
00:21:01,625 --> 00:21:03,019
- Yeah, um,
775
00:21:03,043 --> 00:21:04,458
things got interesting
776
00:21:04,542 --> 00:21:06,227
- after your
- Spin the Bottle dude.
777
00:21:06,333 --> 00:21:07,540
- Shh.
778
00:21:07,564 --> 00:21:08,792
- Hey, gals.
779
00:21:08,875 --> 00:21:10,625
Care to join me on a run?
780
00:21:10,708 --> 00:21:11,958
Both: No.
781
00:21:12,042 --> 00:21:13,602
- All right, fine,
782
00:21:13,626 --> 00:21:15,208
then I am listening to Serial.
783
00:21:15,292 --> 00:21:17,125
- So how was it?
784
00:21:17,208 --> 00:21:20,625
- Um... I...
785
00:21:20,708 --> 00:21:22,250
fucked the gold chain guy.
786
00:21:22,333 --> 00:21:23,375
[both laugh]
787
00:21:23,458 --> 00:21:24,684
- Yeah, definitely
- a one-time thing.
788
00:21:24,708 --> 00:21:26,542
- [laughs]
789
00:21:26,625 --> 00:21:28,208
What up, Casual Darby?
790
00:21:28,292 --> 00:21:29,560
- Yeah.
- One-time thing.
791
00:21:29,667 --> 00:21:31,061
One-time thing.
792
00:21:31,085 --> 00:21:32,500
I, like... I don't know.
793
00:21:32,583 --> 00:21:33,935
I got to be this
794
00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:35,333
whole other person,
795
00:21:35,417 --> 00:21:36,977
and I told him
796
00:21:37,001 --> 00:21:38,583
that I was a curator,
797
00:21:38,667 --> 00:21:40,040
and I, like,
798
00:21:40,064 --> 00:21:41,458
inflated my whole life
799
00:21:41,542 --> 00:21:43,144
'cause it felt really good
800
00:21:43,168 --> 00:21:44,792
to have somebody look at me
801
00:21:44,875 --> 00:21:46,331
and think that I was, like,
802
00:21:46,355 --> 00:21:47,833
so impressive and just, like,
803
00:21:47,917 --> 00:21:49,375
"Oh, my God. Wow."
804
00:21:49,458 --> 00:21:51,498
- Yeah, well, lying is a really
805
00:21:51,522 --> 00:21:53,583
powerful self-help tool.
806
00:21:53,667 --> 00:21:55,125
- Yeah.
807
00:21:56,167 --> 00:21:57,207
I also told him
808
00:21:57,231 --> 00:21:58,292
I was moving to Cleveland.
809
00:21:58,375 --> 00:21:59,977
- [laughing]
- Oh, my God.
810
00:22:00,083 --> 00:22:01,333
- It was in self-defense.
811
00:22:01,417 --> 00:22:03,434
- I was worried he was gonna
- get obsessed with me.
812
00:22:03,458 --> 00:22:04,644
- Poor guy.
813
00:22:04,668 --> 00:22:05,875
- Yeah.
814
00:22:05,958 --> 00:22:06,956
- I mean, poor...
815
00:22:06,980 --> 00:22:08,000
He'll be fine.
816
00:22:08,083 --> 00:22:09,248
He got to fuck me.
817
00:22:09,272 --> 00:22:10,458
Like, he'll live.
818
00:22:10,542 --> 00:22:12,352
- True.
- Yeah.
819
00:22:15,417 --> 00:22:16,708
- The encounter with Danny
820
00:22:16,792 --> 00:22:17,915
had boosted Darby's
821
00:22:17,939 --> 00:22:19,083
wounded ego
822
00:22:19,167 --> 00:22:20,748
and given her a much-needed
823
00:22:20,772 --> 00:22:22,375
bounce in her step.
824
00:22:22,458 --> 00:22:23,750
She went on with her life,
825
00:22:23,833 --> 00:22:25,560
- giving Danny
- very little thought,
826
00:22:25,667 --> 00:22:27,144
As men had so often
827
00:22:27,168 --> 00:22:28,667
done to her.
828
00:22:28,750 --> 00:22:29,917
[elevator dings]
829
00:22:36,542 --> 00:22:37,727
- [quietly]
- Shit.
830
00:22:39,583 --> 00:22:41,458
- Darby?
831
00:22:42,167 --> 00:22:43,144
- Danny!
832
00:22:43,168 --> 00:22:44,168
- Oh, my God.
833
00:22:44,250 --> 00:22:46,060
- This... wow.
- Hi.
834
00:22:46,167 --> 00:22:47,292
- Hi.
835
00:22:47,375 --> 00:22:49,019
- Uh, what happened
- to Cleveland?
836
00:22:49,125 --> 00:22:50,542
Did you change your mind?
837
00:22:50,625 --> 00:22:52,250
- No. Um, no.
838
00:22:52,333 --> 00:22:55,833
I'm going. Um...
839
00:22:55,917 --> 00:22:57,082
Uh, the apartment
840
00:22:57,106 --> 00:22:58,292
I was renting...
841
00:22:58,375 --> 00:23:01,292
Like, it's been so crazy.
842
00:23:01,375 --> 00:23:04,833
Um, the landlord, you know.
843
00:23:04,917 --> 00:23:05,977
Like, you know.
844
00:23:06,001 --> 00:23:07,083
- Yeah.
845
00:23:07,167 --> 00:23:08,560
- Right?
- Um...
846
00:23:08,667 --> 00:23:09,873
So are you, like, the curator
847
00:23:09,897 --> 00:23:11,125
of headphones, or...
848
00:23:11,208 --> 00:23:12,540
- Yeah.
849
00:23:12,564 --> 00:23:13,917
Uh, yeah.
850
00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:15,292
Just working. Just...
851
00:23:15,375 --> 00:23:16,851
- What are...
- What are you doing here?
852
00:23:16,875 --> 00:23:18,123
- After we met, I... I...
853
00:23:18,147 --> 00:23:19,417
I just kind of wanted
854
00:23:19,500 --> 00:23:20,667
to check this place out.
855
00:23:20,750 --> 00:23:22,184
- I mean, I know
- I don't really know you,
856
00:23:22,208 --> 00:23:24,708
But um, I still felt proud,
857
00:23:24,792 --> 00:23:26,498
and uh, I thought this might
858
00:23:26,522 --> 00:23:28,250
make me feel closer to you
859
00:23:28,333 --> 00:23:30,143
- even though I knew that you
- wouldn't be here anymore,
860
00:23:30,167 --> 00:23:32,125
Except here you are.
861
00:23:32,208 --> 00:23:33,292
[elevator dings]
862
00:23:33,375 --> 00:23:34,394
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
863
00:23:34,500 --> 00:23:35,540
- [forced laugh]
864
00:23:35,564 --> 00:23:36,625
It's wild.
865
00:23:37,250 --> 00:23:38,602
- Hey, uh, do you want
866
00:23:38,626 --> 00:23:40,000
to grab a bite after work?
867
00:23:40,083 --> 00:23:42,269
- Um, I have a dinner thing
868
00:23:42,293 --> 00:23:44,500
tonight, um, but...
869
00:23:44,583 --> 00:23:45,792
Uh, you know what?
870
00:23:45,875 --> 00:23:47,518
- I just remembered
- I have to grab something
871
00:23:47,542 --> 00:23:48,811
From my cubicle, um,
872
00:23:48,835 --> 00:23:50,125
but it was so good to see you.
873
00:23:50,208 --> 00:23:51,227
- I get it, you know.
874
00:23:51,251 --> 00:23:52,292
I'm not an idiot.
875
00:23:52,375 --> 00:23:53,935
- What do you get?
- [laughs]
876
00:23:54,042 --> 00:23:55,333
- You're lying.
877
00:23:55,417 --> 00:23:56,792
My whole family's liars.
878
00:23:56,875 --> 00:23:58,184
- I can tell when someone's
- lying to my face.
879
00:23:58,208 --> 00:24:00,102
- I mean, is Darby
- even your real name?
880
00:24:00,208 --> 00:24:01,958
- Yes. I'm... yes.
881
00:24:02,042 --> 00:24:03,269
- It's Darby Carter.
- Okay.
882
00:24:03,375 --> 00:24:04,456
It's just...
883
00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:05,583
[groans]
884
00:24:07,375 --> 00:24:08,815
- You're the first person
- I touched
885
00:24:08,917 --> 00:24:10,042
Since Brianna, you know.
886
00:24:10,125 --> 00:24:11,958
- I'm sor... that's a lot.
887
00:24:12,042 --> 00:24:13,061
I don't...
888
00:24:13,085 --> 00:24:14,125
It was a moment.
889
00:24:14,208 --> 00:24:16,059
- Haven't you ever been
- caught up in a moment?
890
00:24:16,083 --> 00:24:17,708
- I'm not a moment.
891
00:24:17,792 --> 00:24:19,875
I'm a person,
892
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:21,393
- and I helped you
- when you were hurt.
893
00:24:21,417 --> 00:24:22,833
You, like... what'd you do?
894
00:24:22,917 --> 00:24:24,726
- You, like, used me
- like some kind of sex robot.
895
00:24:24,750 --> 00:24:26,352
- I thought guys wanted
896
00:24:26,376 --> 00:24:28,000
to be treated like sex robots.
897
00:24:28,750 --> 00:24:29,831
- Nice. That's really nice.
898
00:24:29,855 --> 00:24:30,958
- Okay.
899
00:24:31,042 --> 00:24:32,102
Thi... I'm sorry.
900
00:24:32,126 --> 00:24:33,208
This isn't a big deal.
901
00:24:33,292 --> 00:24:34,352
Like, we slept together
902
00:24:34,376 --> 00:24:35,458
one time.
903
00:24:35,542 --> 00:24:37,208
I don't owe you anything.
904
00:24:37,292 --> 00:24:38,707
I get to decide who I fuck
905
00:24:38,731 --> 00:24:40,167
and who I love and whatever.
906
00:24:40,250 --> 00:24:41,977
- Fine,
- you don't owe me anything,
907
00:24:42,083 --> 00:24:44,042
But you still fucking hurt me.
908
00:24:44,917 --> 00:24:46,875
Darby Carter,
909
00:24:46,958 --> 00:24:48,708
whoever you are.
910
00:24:50,750 --> 00:24:52,290
- In truth,
911
00:24:52,314 --> 00:24:53,875
she knew exactly how he felt,
912
00:24:53,958 --> 00:24:56,208
and she hated hurting him.
913
00:24:56,292 --> 00:24:57,292
- Danny.
914
00:24:57,333 --> 00:25:00,250
[soft music]
915
00:25:00,333 --> 00:25:01,833
♪ ♪
916
00:25:01,917 --> 00:25:03,083
I'm sorry.
917
00:25:03,167 --> 00:25:09,250
♪ ♪
918
00:25:09,333 --> 00:25:10,750
- Still, it was nice to know
919
00:25:10,833 --> 00:25:12,206
that she could be the one
920
00:25:12,230 --> 00:25:13,625
who left,
921
00:25:13,708 --> 00:25:14,685
that she could
922
00:25:14,709 --> 00:25:15,709
be the one who got away.
923
00:25:15,792 --> 00:25:17,435
- I mean, yeah,
- I just made an account.
924
00:25:17,542 --> 00:25:19,185
- I just think staying
- at a hotel
925
00:25:19,292 --> 00:25:20,851
- Kind of defeats the purpose
- of the whole camper van thing.
926
00:25:20,875 --> 00:25:22,101
- I'm not talking
- about every night.
927
00:25:22,125 --> 00:25:23,309
- Just, like, some nights.
- Okay.
928
00:25:23,333 --> 00:25:24,573
- Like, every night in the van?
929
00:25:24,625 --> 00:25:26,025
- That's gonna
- be kind of intense.
930
00:25:26,083 --> 00:25:28,019
- We're camping.
- Of course it's "in tents."
931
00:25:28,125 --> 00:25:29,602
- [laughs] Get it?
- Yeah.
932
00:25:29,708 --> 00:25:30,748
- "In tents"?
- No, it's...
933
00:25:30,792 --> 00:25:31,769
- Augie.
934
00:25:31,793 --> 00:25:32,793
- So good.
935
00:25:32,875 --> 00:25:33,708
- Darby!
936
00:25:33,792 --> 00:25:35,519
- Hey, guys.
- Hey.
937
00:25:35,625 --> 00:25:36,708
- Oh, my God.
938
00:25:36,792 --> 00:25:38,018
- I'm surprised you guys
- are still in town.
939
00:25:38,042 --> 00:25:39,442
- Oh, we leave tomorrow,
- actually.
940
00:25:39,542 --> 00:25:40,934
- Yeah, we're trying
- to be in Taos by Labor Day.
941
00:25:40,958 --> 00:25:42,318
- Amazing.
- How's everything going
942
00:25:42,375 --> 00:25:43,643
- With you, Darb?
- How's the Whitney?
943
00:25:43,667 --> 00:25:44,947
- Or the MoMA?
- No, the Whitney.
944
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:46,083
Um, it's great.
945
00:25:46,167 --> 00:25:47,417
I've actually gotta run.
946
00:25:47,500 --> 00:25:49,101
- Like, ironically,
- I have a job interview.
947
00:25:49,125 --> 00:25:50,227
- Nice.
- Cool.
948
00:25:50,333 --> 00:25:51,476
- What are you
- interviewing for?
949
00:25:51,500 --> 00:25:53,042
- Um, it's this assistant gig,
950
00:25:53,125 --> 00:25:55,352
- but it's at an auction house,
- which could be fun.
951
00:25:55,458 --> 00:25:56,458
- Cool.
- Yeah.
952
00:25:56,500 --> 00:25:57,685
- Good luck.
- Thanks.
953
00:25:57,792 --> 00:25:59,232
- Good luck to you guys.
- Thank you.
954
00:25:59,292 --> 00:26:00,809
- So exciting.
- Tomorrow's the big launch?
955
00:26:00,833 --> 00:26:02,144
- Yeah, yeah.
- Amazing.
956
00:26:02,250 --> 00:26:03,309
- Out on the road.
- So exciting. Bye.
957
00:26:03,333 --> 00:26:04,685
- Bye!
- See you.
958
00:26:04,792 --> 00:26:06,394
- [Caribou's
- "I Can't Do Without You"]
959
00:26:06,500 --> 00:26:07,583
- Hi.
960
00:26:07,667 --> 00:26:08,947
- I will have
- a chai tea latte.
961
00:26:09,042 --> 00:26:11,792
♪ ♪
962
00:26:11,875 --> 00:26:14,375
- ♪ I can't do without you ♪
963
00:26:14,458 --> 00:26:15,708
♪ ♪
964
00:26:15,792 --> 00:26:18,208
♪ I can't do without you ♪
965
00:26:18,292 --> 00:26:19,458
♪ ♪
966
00:26:19,542 --> 00:26:22,125
♪ I can't do without you ♪
967
00:26:22,208 --> 00:26:24,144
- Babe.
- You gonna help me?
968
00:26:24,250 --> 00:26:25,333
Come on.
969
00:26:25,417 --> 00:26:26,792
♪ ♪
970
00:26:26,875 --> 00:26:29,417
- ♪ I can't do without you ♪
971
00:26:29,500 --> 00:26:30,708
♪ ♪
972
00:26:30,792 --> 00:26:33,125
♪ I can't do without you ♪
973
00:26:33,208 --> 00:26:34,458
♪ ♪
974
00:26:34,542 --> 00:26:36,792
♪ I can't do without you ♪
975
00:26:36,875 --> 00:26:38,208
♪ ♪
976
00:26:38,292 --> 00:26:40,667
♪ I can't do without you ♪
977
00:26:40,750 --> 00:26:42,542
♪ ♪
978
00:26:42,625 --> 00:26:45,625
[upbeat electronic music]
979
00:26:45,708 --> 00:26:52,875
♪ ♪
980
00:26:56,958 --> 00:26:59,375
♪ I can't do without you ♪
981
00:26:59,458 --> 00:27:00,708
♪ ♪
982
00:27:00,792 --> 00:27:04,583
♪ I can't do without you ♪
983
00:27:04,667 --> 00:27:11,875
♪ ♪
63807
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