All language subtitles for Huff s02e09 Radio Silence.eng

Previously on Huff...

How long have you been this angry at me?

You're doing it right now. Stop shrinking me.

Fucking shrink yourself. Nothing is gonna change until you do.

I take the therapy thing with you and dad isn't going too well.

You're a virgin.

Hey, fuck you, man. I'm 36 years old. I've had sex.

Grandpa called like 3 times, but I forgot to tell you.

3 times. My, my, my.

We don't want you here.

For once in your life, why don't you finish something?

Let the goddamn sun set and leave.

Now's not a good time. I just don't feel like going.

The degree of denial in our family is breathtaking.

Tell me about it.

- So how's your home life?
- It's ridiculous.

And how's Mrs. Huffstodt?

Uh, she's angry.

Good morning.

Do I know you?

I will stick my finger up your ass.

Pepper!

Mom, you're in jail?

I tell you I was clearly not intoxicated.

Really? A D.U.I.?

Tell your new friend Byrd here about the war.

I'm just a low-level insurgent.

Admit it. That's why you put the cameras in my room.

Can you believe we're about to have a baby?

A baby.

- Oh, god!
- Oh, my god!

- Do you mind?
- Yeah, where?

- Like that?
- No. Do it like this.

Yes! Yes!

Ah, yeah, it's a party at my house. It's like...

it's like the air in my house is full of propane or something,

and somebody does the wrong thing or says the wrong fucking word,

the whole place will explode. You know?

It's... it's pretty fucking miserable.

Oh, God, it's so nice to be out here in the fresh air. It just feels awesome.

- Do you love her?
- Yeah. I love Beth.

Of course I love her. I'll always love her. She's incredible.

It's just... there's something... missing. You know?

I guess that would be any semblance of joy.

- Hey.
- Hey.

I thought you left for work already.

Uh, no. I'm gonna work out of the house for a couple of days.

How are you gonna see patients from home?

I'm not seeing patients. I got a ton of paperwork to catch up on.

Oh. Are you not feeling well?

I'm ok. I'm just, uh... my stomach is kind of tweaked, but I'm all right.

Was that a patient?

This? Yeah.

Are you sure you're ok? 'Cause you look a little pale.

I'm fine. Really. I'm just... I'm just taking a couple of days.

Ok. Well, there's ginger ale in the fridge.

- Great. Thank you.
- Ok.

You were flopping around like a fish out of water last night.

You know, Kel, I really got to be going, sweetie,

because I got to stop off at my house to change before I get to the office.

What? You haven't even taken 2 bites of cereal.

Ah, not really a breakfast guy is the truth, is the truth.

Well, that's silly.

I do like my coffee, though.

You sure you don't have any coffee? I kind of need my coffee.

How sad is that? You need coffee.

I don't need it. I like it. I enjoy it.

It's part of my day, my coffee is. It's because I like it that I want it.

Well, we're getting to that age where we have to watch what we put into our bodies.

It's a fucking cup of coffee that I'm talking about.

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

Sorry. Ha-ha!

Well, at least drink your milk.

There's nothing like Captain Crunch-flavored milk.

Now you know that's something I really enjoy.

Here. You enjoy this then, 'cause that's gonna be perfect for you right about now.

Oh, and I've changed my mind.

I'm not gonna paint the nursery blue just because Fellini's a boy.

Let's ask the paint guy what he thinks.

Sure. What time is that?

Well, we could go after work, you know,

if your boss won't let you break for lunch.

You know what? Believe it or not, I'm actually in charge of my own lunch period.

So, what do you say? Like, uh, 1:00?

Ok. Oh. Listen.

Hey.

Thank you for staying last night.

I really felt protected.

What's that? What does that unlock?

My apartment.

I just thought you could use it.

It does make sense.

- 1:00.
- Ok.

Bye.

I'm very proud of you for being so proactive in seizing control of this voice.

I just wanna be... proactive and...

stay on top of things.

I'll do whatever you tell me to do.

Oh, I'm not gonna tell you what to do. This is a collaboration.

I mean, I'll help you navigate.

But this is your life, Teddy, and you're in charge.

I'm in charge.

Uh, I've also increased your geodon from 30 milligrams to 50.

U h...

will, uh...

will I have side effects... from that?

Um, you know, like weight gain or anything regarding my potency or...

erection?

Oh. You shouldn't. Uh, but I'll keep an eye on it...

or rather you'll keep an eye on it and let me know.

Also you and I will start meeting twice a week.

And I want you to keep a record of when you hear the voice

and what the voice is saying.

Yes.

And the last 15 minutes of every session will belong to you.

So we can talk about whatever you want.

Nothing's off-limits.

Thank you.

You're gonna do great, Teddy.

Um... will I, uh, stop hearing voices?

Will they be nicer voices?

They may not disappear completely, Teddy.

But we can try to understand what is true and what isn't.

And that will be your power.

When we were together, it was, uh,

restless and calm all at the same time.

That has completely passed away.

It's just gone.

Now it's just...

full of dread all the time and cold and...

harshness and...

the daytime performance...

has become the, uh, nevening performance, if you know what I'm saying.

It just...

it just feels like death.

Hey, Maggie. It's Huff. Is Russell in?

Thanks.

What do you want?

Where did you get that?

Open the door and I'll tell you.

Where did you get that, Ben?

I threatened a judge.

I'm just kidding. I know a guy from DMV.

It's legit.

All right. Hand it over.

Come on.

Let me take you out to dinner.

- No.
- No?

No. I haven't been hungry around you in years.

And what makes you think you deserve to sit across the table from me?

Good point.

I don't deserve it, but I was hoping you might oblige me anyway.

Look, I'm not looking for a fight here.

I just have some things to say, and I wanna make sure that you hear them.

Well, say them. Say them right now.

Oh! You don't even know what to say.

40 years and you still don't know how to talk to me.

I know what I wanna say.

I just would rather say it over a steak and martinis.

Now, look, Isabelle, it's foolish for people our age

to take a stubborn position of silence.

Before you know it, we're gonna be pushing up daisies and wishing to god

we had said all that crap we should've said when we had the chance.

Well, you know, when I'm pushing up daisies, I'll be dead

and hopefully won't be thinking of you.

I know I'll be thinking of you.

I will.

Ok. Fine.

Where? When?

9 at Gavin's. I'll meet you there.

Mm-mmm. You pick me up at 8:30.

No martinis. I'm on probation.

No, you're not.

I took care of that, too.

What? How?

I threatened the judge.

Remember when you ran your mouth about that little farm rep?

Remember how that went down, huh?

That was completely different, Russell. That was...

I don't know what the fuck that was. But this is my life.

I'm having very intense, negative feelings about my wife,

and it's becoming unfair of me not to share it with her. I think.

The very sound of this is making me wanna retch.

Well, how does this sound?

Ok, I am not happy with the choices I have made in my life,

and I'm starting to think that I don't want Beth to be part of it anymore.

Is that better?

It's interesting. Blunt.

I just... I can't keep pretending this isn't happening, 'cause it is.

Buddy, you took a boatload of E and made some kooky tapes.

A boatload of E. I took a controlled dose of pharmaceutical grade MDMA,

administered by a doctor.

Ok, you took the professional E, and then it made you all mushy,

and it made you think that the world is gonna understand you, and it isn't necessarily.

Don't get lured out and open up some big can of worms you can't close.

Yeah. I just... I don't know. I'm at a total fucking loss is the truth.

So, you know, sit with it a while. I don't know.

Work through it. Meditate on it. Talk to me about it.

But don't go doing something impulsive that could be-

I don't know, man- so fucking destructive.

It's very interesting advice coming from you.

Well, you know what? I don't make so many promises in my life.

You know what I mean? I find it cuts down on the collateral damage.

But you do. You have. And you know what?

You probably have a very rich life because of it.

But we're very different that way.

You have to be at the paint place in 15 minutes.

Oh, shit. Did you get that baby paint research I asked you for?

Yeah. It's printing. Hurry up.

Kelly and I are picking out paints for the nursery.

You're picking out paints for the baby's nursery?

And not only that. I said I'd do most of the painting. I promised Kelly that I'd help.

I thought you didn't like to make too many promises.

Well, big difference between painting a room and "till death do us part. "

Not really. No.

Buddy, this too shall pass. All right?

Especially if you keep your pie hole shut.

All right? All right?

Yeah.

Feel free to get sauced.

Thank you.

Yellow and sage are very popular right now. Very soothing.

Ooh, that sounds nice.

Yeah. You wanna soothe the kid right into special ed.

I want my kid stimulated at all times, thank you very much.

- Our kid.
- Our kid.

- Maybe powder blue.
- No. No, no.

No powdery, pastely kind of crap.

Kids cannot distinguish those color values till they're around 8 months old.

So I want bold, primary colors. You know, yellows, lime greens, reds.

I want this kid to be solving complex fucking equations in his sleep.

- Let me see what I can find.
- All right. Ok.

And no glyco ethers, please, Rico.

Studies show that they contribute to miscarriages.

You know what? Goddamn it.

I don't think that you should be doing any of this painting.

I think maybe I should just do it.

No way. I wanna help. This is a project for us to do together.

Ok. Well, in that case, I think we need to get some of those big cross candle-lighting fans

and a Michael Jackson mask for you. I'm serious.

Ok. If you think I'll be safer that way.

Here's a few choices.

Are you doing solid colors or are you thinking about a theme?

Solids. Right, hon?

Let's do a theme.

You know, I was thinking dinosaurs or-

I don't know- some kind of monkey mural or something.

Do you know how to paint monkeys?

I can paint the shit out of some monkeys.

I'm starting to feel very good about these colors.

You do need to add a little brown, though, for the monkey fur.

No problem. I'll mix that right up.

All right.

This is so much fun. We can have a painting party tomorrow night.

A painting party?

Yeah. Heck, yeah. We'll order pizza. It'll be a painting pizza party.

For just the two of us.

So these malaysians are obsessed with luxury cars. It's a cash cow.

Now, my deal basically is that I'm a broker-slash-conduit.

And we get these cars- I got a guy who buys these cars wholesale-

and we ship 'em over to Malaysia via San Pedro, and we sell 'em for bloated prices.

The infrastructure of this thing-

Oh, for god's sake, would you please say something interesting, Ben?

I hope you didn't bring me here for this.

Ok.

You sure?

Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure. Flabbergast me. Blow my doors off.

I'm still in love with you.

I want you back, and I would do whatever's necessary to make that happen.

Does that blow your doors off?

What about your wife Umagi, Sashimi, or whatever?

She learned english, and I didn't like what she had to say.

I never loved her, not like I love you.

Oh, please.

Why? Why- why right now?

What are you... get back on your side.

Listen to me. Put the goddamn drink down there and listen to me.

You listen to me. I agreed to dinner in exchange for my driver's license.

Thanks for the ribeye.

You're really still in love with me. Really.

It's too late for that. It's too late for all of that.

- Says who?
- Me. I do.

You had 40 years to love me. That's all you get.

- Why? Who says it's all?
- I say. Me.

All right.

Isabelle, we're getting older.

And we, um... we have a lot of sadness coming down the pipe.

But there's a lot of good stuff, too, and I wanna experience all that with you.

I'm not asking that we renew the vows or any of that kind of crap.

I'm asking that you be open to the possibility of us.

I'll give you a second.

Oh, can I have one more of those, please?

Sure.

We were afraid you'd left town.

Well, Kim, I decided to stay.

Tran's been looking for you.

I had a family emergency.

You just tell him to relax. He'll get the money.

He wants it now.

Kim, do I look like I'm carrying that kind of cash?

Go see Tran tomorrow, or you'll see us again.

- Hey. Huff?
- Hey. One second.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Hey.

So, uh, how's your stomach?

Uh, it's not that good.

Well, scotch probably isn't helping.

Well, it's not hurting anything either.

You should go to the doctor.

Yeah. I know. I will.

I guess you want this closed.

Yeah. Please. Closed is good.

Excuse me. Ma'am?

I checked the valet. His car's gone.

But he left you this.

Young man, I have read that note a thousand times before.

I'm sorry.

Is there, um... is there anything I can get for you?

Would you please call me a cab?

No problem.

You better get an umbrella, 'cause I'm gonna be raining 3's, baby.

I'm gonna dunk.

- You couldn't dunk a doughnut.
- I can so dunk.

- You can't dunk, Whitey.
- I can so dunk. I can dunk.

Yeah, well, this is basketball, my friend.

Hey, Teddy.

Hi.

Hey, hi.

What are you doing here?

I was just gonna go to the beach. What are you doing here?

I was just playing basketball. I was about to play basketball.

This place is like a...

It's a nut hut.

I was just visiting Max.

Come here a couple times a week and take him to play basketball.

He's really good. Aren't you, Max?

I'm really good.

I can dunk.

I bet you can.

Do you guys wanna come down to the beach?

Uh, Max cannot because he is, uh, nervous by the ocean.

Yeah. It's so vast. You know?

Yeah. Yeah, I guess it is.

But I can go with you.

Well, what about Max?

Don't worry about me. My groin's stiff anyway.

It was nice to meet you.

- Hey, let me get that.
- Ok.

Take that.

I think it's really cool that you spend time with Max.

Well, it's good because he can get really isolated sometimes.

Does his family ever visit him?

No. No, no. I don't think they know what to make of him.

It's too bad because he's really a great guy.

Yeah, I bet he has a really interesting view of the world.

He does.

- He's special.
- Yeah.

Special guy is Max.

Well, this is pretty good right here.

Yeah. Good. Cool.

Max just must get so lonely sometimes.

I don't know, you know.

He lives a pretty full life for someone like him. You know?

Yeah.

You know, my mom is clinically depressed.

She doesn't leave the house. She sleeps 24/7.

It's like she's sort of been extinguished in a way.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Y eah.

I used to be afraid that I would end up like her, like I would even inherit her illness.

It wouldn't be your fault, Alyssa.

It wouldn't make you any less beautiful.

Yeah, I think I dodged that bullet.

God, Teddy, you are so open.

I love how you embrace things.

I just don't think that people should be punished

'cause God didn't mix their chemicals right.

That is so right. Me either.

Oh, fuck.

Hello.

Hey, dad. What's going on?

I'm just doing some pushups. What's up?

Why?

Where do you wanna meet?

Fucking phone. I hate this fucking phone.

Russell Tupper's office. Hold on.

- Russell.
- Yes.

Kelly Knippers called.

She wants you to bring a 3-liter of Dr. Pepper over tonight for the pizza painting party.

Oh, yeah?

What is a pizza painting party?

We are painting our baby's nursery this evening. Isn't that sweet?

- Actually, it is.
- Yeah.

Hey, wait. Wait. I had to stash a couple of clients in your office.

Margaret, I don't like it when you leave people unattended in my office.

Trust me, Russell. You don't want these two roaming the halls.

No, no, no, no. Peps. Pepper. Darling, you can't be here right now, dear.

Relax, Russell.

Who's this? Who's this?

You are way too buxom to be in my office. Goddamn it.

I'm J.J. March. Pepper speaks very highly of you.

Nice to meet you.

J.J. shoots her first porn tomorrow.

That's so exciting. Congratulations. Congratulations, really.

Her contract's all fucked up.

I'm so sorry to hear that, but I do really do need to ask you both to leave right now.

The producers want me to do girl on girl, but I'm strictly dickly.

This really isn't in my wheelhouse right now, ok?

I hope you understand that.

Things have been a little dicey around here for me,

and I can't be involved in this sort of thing anymore.

My feelings are hurt, Tupper. Thought we were tight.

We are. We're tight. We're t-t... like a nut in a bolt. We're tight.

But I just can't help you now.

Remember all the fun we used to have?

Yeah.

You, me, detox.

Gary Topolski and the exploding trailer.

What the fuck are you doing? Hmm?

What are you talking about?

Nothing. Just reminding you I'm a friend.

20 minutes. 20 minutes. That's all I got.

But we can't do it here, ok?

If we can't get this hammered out in 20 minutes, well, then you're shit out of luck,

'cause I have another engagement. Ok?

20 minutes it is.

Thank you so much, Mr. Tupper.

You are so welcome. But I do need to ask you to leave

by the executive private exit for special guests.

I'll see you downstairs.

Friends.

Where the fuck were you when I was too crippled to grip my own pecker?

Did you have fun tanning today?

The pillow smells like chemicals. They using a new detergent?

Not that I've noticed.

How was your day at the beach with Alyssa?

Did you corn dog her again?

Aw, don't be a pervert, man.

It's not just sex. It's an emotional thing.

Yo, save it for your diary.

You have my diary?

No.

You actually have a diary, you puss?

It's a journal. I can't find it.

You really didn't take it?

No, I didn't take it.

I don't care about it and I don't lie, Theodoros.

Ok. Ok.

This girl is really amazing.

She's so open-minded.

That's great, man.

- You trust her?
- Totally.

Did you tell her that you're a schizophrenic and that you actually live here?

Not exactly.

So she still thinks that you're just visiting the zoo, huh?

Quit bouncing the fucking ball, man!

I'm working with Dr. Emily. I'm keeping things under control.

You got this thing beat, do you, Theodoros?

You know what? I'm gonna go to bed, so maybe you can just leave.

Brother, I'm all for deceiving women, but you're not gonna pull this one off.

I'm gonna tell her eventually.

Yeah? How do you think that little bombshell's gonna sit with her?

- She's gonna be upset.
- You think?

We'll talk it out, Max.

You don't know.

Alyssa and I...

it's like nothing I've ever had before.

Even before I was sick, I never felt a connection to anything like this.

She's... she moves me.

She makes me wanna get better.

You're not gonna get better.

You can do better, but you can't get better, man.

Fuck! Why are you always so negative?

I've done what you're trying to do.

And you can hide little things, but eventually, it's all gonna bubble up to the surface.

We're afflicted, man.

That's the raw fucking deal we got, and it blows.

But that doesn't mean you can screw around with this girl.

Just go ahead and get out.

What you're doing is wrong, and you know I'm right.

Just... get the fuck out, ok?

Ok.

Oh, shit.

I can't believe you just left her sitting in the restaurant, dad.

I couldn't let her see my face.

You know how skittish she gets.

Gee, I can't imagine why.

I left a note in the restaurant.

You think that's gonna be enough?

No.

Welcome. Can I help you gentlemen?

Uh, I'm here to see Tran Lee. He works in the service department.

Tell him Ben Bertrand is here.

Very well.

I fucking miscalculated.

What- Mr. Bertrand, excuse me.

What kind of fucking miscalculation did you make?

Business. Business.

Something I thought was something turned out to be something else.

Will this something else have anything to do with the "I only have 10 hours" crap?

Yeah. I thought I had 10 hours.

To do what?

To get the hell out of Los Angeles.

Why do you have to get out of Los Angeles, dad?

This is about 10% of what I owe these guys.

Je-Jesus.

The whole deal with the cars went to shit, and I can't cover it.

Just look at my face.

These malaysians do not fuck around.

I should be off somewhere hiding in the rain forest.

Instead, I'm here.

Well, why don't you just leave, dad? We're certainly all accustomed to it.

'Cause I love your mother, and I want her back.

Well, that might be a little difficult, given your history. Don't you think?

History's for pussies. I'm talking about the future here.

History also counts, dad. In this case, it might count even more than the future.

That's your mother talking.

Dad, that's reality talking.

What do you expect from the poor woman after all these years?

Craig.

I'd like you to get that to your mother.

Dad, no. Please. I don't wanna get in the middle of you two.

Give it to her yourself.

Craig, I know your mother.

It's radio silence from now on. I have to accept that.

Make sure she gets that.

It's the last thing I'm gonna ask of you.

Mr. Bertrand, please, join me in the back.

Aw, eat shit, Tran.

Hang tight. I wanna hear what it is that you wanna talk to me about.

Yeah. Take your time. Please.

Sporty, no?

Yeah. How you doing, Istvan?

So what do you think? Do I buy or lease the little lady?

Uh, it's hard to say, you know. It depends on the person.

I usually buy.

Yeah, but then you're stuck with the car.

If it breaks, you have to fix it.

If it's a big piece of shit lemon, it's your big piece of shit lemon.

Yeah. Yeah. It's definitely a roll of the dice.

You lease, you're only in it for 2 years.

Yeah. But when those 2 years are up, you got nothing to show for it.

Yeah. It's a double-edged coin, I guess.

Strange.

I always thought it was best to own something.

It's the immigrant in me.

Don't you even think of buying this bitch box. A man your age needs 4 doors.

Come on. Let's shoot the sticks and shoot some shit, huh?

Listen to me. I said my client is strictly dickly.

No. No.

See, I understand.

No. Listen to me. Ok, buddy.

This is my final offer, ok?

I want you to bump my client's fee to 9 grand.

Yeah. No girl on girl.

And if you're lucky,

maybe I'm gonna get her to throw in a little extra anal, if you're polite.

Can you, um... I want you to think about that for a couple of seconds.

I'm just gonna put you on hold.

Martini time!

Water break!

Whoa!

Strictly dickly!

You said strictly dickly. That's not strictly dickly.

Shut the fuck up, Tupper.

Oh. Yeah.

Time's up.

What?

Oh, thank you.

You have a great night, too.

Oh, she'll be there 8:00.

Bye-bye, Stevie.

- Oh. So... 9 grand.
- Oh!

No girl on girl.

A little bit of anal.

You're such a tough negotiator.

Oh, I know. To negotiate for you.

Oh, dear. It's my negotiating bonus.

You're more fun than a barrel of monkeys.

Oh, fuck. Monkeys.

Monkeys?

I was supposed to be painting monkeys.

I don't know what that is, but I'll paint monkeys with you.

No, no, no. I'm supposed to be painting monkey murals tonight.

You're painting a monkey mural in your house?

No, peps. It's for my baby's nursery.

I'm painting my baby's nursery tonight.

I don't think you're the right guy for that job, Russell.

What, you're feeling restless?

No, I don't feel restless. Not exactly it.

You wanna bang a whore?

No, dad, don't wanna bang a whore. It's not about sex really.

I just, um... I don't know. I'm sure I'm just overreacting. You know?

Russell's probably right.

- This will just pass.
- It'll never pass.

And why in god's name are you asking Russell's advice?

Is that your gold standard?

Exactly, dad. Now I'm asking you for advice.

You should have an idea of how fucked up I am about this.

I don't pass these genes out on the street, Craig.

Look at me.

It doesn't go away.

Well, then what am I supposed to do?

Face it. Head on.

Face what? Dad, face what?

I don't know what the fuck to say to my wife.

I don't know what the fuck to say to myself about this.

You know, you have to get past this pathological need to understand your feelings.

It is what it is.

You have to be up front with your wife.

It's her life, too.

Really? Like you're up front with mom?

- I was.
- Dad-

I was. I had to leave and I left.

Your mother never understood it, but she understood me,

and that's about as much as you can hope for.

Well, Beth will definitely not understand this, that's for sure.

You know, the thing is, dad, I really do love her.

Got nothing to do with it.

Dad, I've made choices in my life that mean something to me.

You know, I got people depending on me.

You aren't gonna be good for anyone if you try to smother this.

You'll just make everybody miserable.

Jesus Christ. If choices were forever, who the fuck would ever make one?

You're smoking?

Yeah.

And I found them in that locked drawer in your office.

So I'm guessing you smoke, too.

Or maybe you never even quit. I don't know. I'm starting.

I was trying to find that tape that you were listening to behind locked doors.

Uh... well, I destroyed that tape.

So I was right.

Must have been something pretty juicy.

I mean, you looked like someone shoved a steel pipe up your spine when I came in.

Well, you did kind of invade my privacy. You know?

Yeah.

I sure did.

Um, I wasn't where I said I was this weekend. I was not at a conference.

I was doing MDMA therapy under the care of another psychiatrist.

You took ecstasy.

Yeah. With a doctor.

Who?

Um, her name is Lena Markova.

Oh. Ok, I get it.

You did ecstasy with another woman who happens to be a doctor,

and now you're gonna call it therapy?

No, honey. It wasn't like that.

Well, then tell me what we're talking about,

other than the fact that you're a liar and you're taking drugs.

There's an unrelenting tension in this house. You know?

Not to mention this room.

Yeah.

So you wanna talk about it? Knowing you, you probably do.

You just love to talk.

So should I take a hit of acid first,

or do you think that maybe I can handle this straight?

I'm sorry if... I seem bitchy.

This cigarette might be making me a little nauseated.

Um... a few weeks ago, I was looking for Melody.

Melody, who stabbed me in the kitchen Melody?

Yeah.

Of course.

And, um...

that's when I met Dr. Markova. She was at the hospital.

And, uh, I've been talking to her ever since then.

How is Melody, by the way?

Uh, I never found her.

Damn.

Ok, can you drop the fucking sarcasm, please,

and let me talk to you about this?

I'm very angry with you right now.

Please. Continue.

I started talking to Dr. Markova, and I found out

that she still does MDMA therapy every once in a while.

And after our last session with Hoffman-

you know the one when you told me that I should fucking go shrink myself for a change?

I decided that I would try it.

I see.

How was it?

It was very illuminating.

Um, I think that I have a lot of work to do.

And how would you describe this work?

Um...

well...

I, uh...

I need to be free of my mother. I thought I was, but I'm not.

I still resent the shit out of her and everything she stands for.

I think I've been a bit of a wuss of a father at times,

and I definitely need to work on parenting my son.

I, uh... I have to learn how to not die every time I see my brother, because I do.

I die every time I see Teddy. And it's just not fair to me.

Us. What about us?

Yeah. We definitely need to work on us.

But I... I need to work on me first.

Well, I am a part of us. So what about us? What about me?

Oh, god, I can't believe I just said that.

"What about me?"

Well...

it's a good question, honey. What about you?

I- I'm... I'm... Byrd's mother and...

I'm my mother's daughter and I'm your wife.

I don't have any friends.

I don't have my job anymore.

I don't have hobbies. I don't have a life outside of this house.

And... the life that I have inside of this house...

doesn't seem to be working for either one of us.

No, that's true. It's not.

So...

what are we gonna do?

I don't know.

Well...

what do you think?

Um...

I think I need a little time away.

I just... I think I need to...

leave for a while.

I think that's a good idea.

And, uh, I think you should do that, too.

I think you should just leave.

Fuck. Fuck it!

Fuck.

Go away. Go away.

Oh, for God's sake.

Yes, Beth.

- May I come in?
- Why not?

Yikes.

So...

Huff asked me to give this to you.

Oh, why didn't he give it to me himself?

And why didn't you leave it outside rather than practically knock my door down?

Izzy, uh...

Huff is moving out for a while.

For how long?

I don't know.

You know where he's going?

I don't. I'm sorry.

Um, that's really all I can tell you about it right now.

You all right?

Uh... I don't know. I think so.

Wait. Come here.

May I give you a little piece of advice?

Sure.

I love my son more than anything.

But I'm telling you this as a woman.

Do not lose yourself waiting for a man.

Ok?

Do not allow yourself to be held hostage to his doubts

or his selfish indulgences.

A woman can waste an entire life doing that.

Most do, I think.

Ok?

You sure?

Oh, goddamn it.

Goddamn it. Goddamn it, Isabelle.

My parents are pretty freaked out.

My dad's gone mute, so whatever.

But my mom's the sad one.

She's on the internet 24/7.

She actually thinks she's gonna get on google

and discover the cure for retinitis pigmentosa that all the doctors somehow overlooked.

- And how about you?
- What about me?

Well, you keep focusing on everybody else and how they feel.

But, uh, this is happening to you, Kate.

How are you handling things?

I'm just waiting to go blind.

What do you mean by that?

I've known I've been losing my eyesig since I was 13.

I just never told anybody else about it.

Really?

I started falling down all the time, and everyone thought I was this clumsy oaf.

Well, that must've been very stressful, trying to keep a secret like that.

Better to be a klutz than Stevie Wonder.

I kind of wrapped it up into my persona.

Like I couldn't tell what clothes look good together, so I guessed.

I became "funky Kate, the wacky dresser. "

Living a lie is much easier than it seems.

Well, you certainly seem to be doing very well at it.

Um, scholarship to the Savannah College of Art and Design for sculpture.

How could a legally blind girl get a scholarship in such a visual art?

Sculpting was perfect for me.

It's very tactile.

I can use my hands,

feel the things I can't see,

feel the space a sculpture occupies.

You seem very passionate about your art.

I am.

Well, then how come you wanna give up your scholarship?

I'll probably be totally blind within 2 years.

That scholarship's wasted on me.

But clearly, you're very talented. Why would you wanna give that up?

I'm not taking a spot away from someone so I can be some blind crusading sculptor.

They don't know that you're blind, Kate. That scholarship was based on your work.

Drop it, ok? It's stupid.

I've accepted things. I know what my fate is.

Well, nobody knows that, Kate.

Some people do.

I accept it.

I accept my life.

Are you trying to talk me out of accepting things?

No. No, of course not.

Because I'm not living a lie anymore.

I did that to keep my parents happy.

But now I wanna see what it's like to be what I am in the world.

And I don't care if it sucks or it seems negative

or it makes people uncomfortable.

It's truthful.

Transcript: Raceman

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