All language subtitles for Huff s02e08 A Cornfield Grows in LA.eng

Previously on Huff...

Oh, God! My skin's coming off!

No, man. Your skin's just fine. You're a little bit high.

My son wouldn't give anybody drugs.

He's not a drug addict.

Of course he wouldn't. I believe you.

Hey, you! Hey!

Hey! Hey! Hey!

My son is breaking into people's homes, and it's ok with his father.

Exactly how long you've been sitting on that one?

But I like you. Teddy, I do.

Thanks. Me, too.

Really? You like you, too?

What have we here?

It's from the baby's daddy.

Yeah.

You sent me this fabulous crib.

Mommy needs crib.

You're a doll. You're an absolute doll.

Hey, do you, uh, really still do MDMA therapy?

Well, ecstasy, MDMA-

whatever you wanna call it. Yes, I do.

Don't do that. Don't correct me. I fucking hate when you do that.

Don't fucking cut my balls off. I fucking hate when you do that.

What balls? You're afraid to discipline your own son.

I can't fucking talk to you now. I'm going for a walk.

Good. Make it a long one.

Try real hard to be asleep by the time I get back, huh?

He's just so... I don't know. Uh...

demanding.

Oppressively demanding.

And I don't think it's because he feels ignored or needs attention or anything like that.

It's... more desperate than that.

It's... it's like, uh...

if he doesn't know...

absolutely everything there is to know about something,

he's gonna have a meltdown.

And so he asks me the same questions about the same things over and over.

And if I don't give him the answer that he wants,

he will just keep asking me

until I finally tell him what it is that he wants to hear

just so he'll stop asking the fucking question,

or I lose it and start screaming at him to leave me the fuck alone.

It's just... it's fucking exhausting.

Take me back, you fucking asshole!

It never has to be this bad again.

'Cause today is the first day of the rest of your life. Goddamn it.

- Nice pumps, Virginia. Those new?
- Fuck her shoes.

No can do. She's a petite. Just got to go with me on this one, buddy.

If you're lucky, you'll never have to do this again.

I'm not doing it at all, man.

I'm not taking you back to that shit-infested cabin in the middle of the desert.

All right, look at me.

You're gonna go in my office, pick up the phone and make the call.

Just like we talked about, ok?

Nice and easy. All right?

Don't look at me like that.

Come on. Shut the door. Here we go, buddy.

Gonna give you a seat right here. Here we go. Here we... no, no.

Mags, you remember young Jake, don't you?

Hey. You got any water?

Good idea. Water for the boy. He's parched. Fiji him up, Mags.

Is this some kind of fucking joke?

You get put on the leave of absence, and this is how you return?

I'm sure Meeks will be thrilled.

I'm just gonna say this once, ok?

Dig deep, don't rush to judgment, and try and summon up a little trust.

If you can't do that, keep your fucking mouth shut or go home.

Ok, buddy, you and me, we're gonna make this call right now.

I can't do it. I'm too scared.

Trust me. I'm scared, too. But, unfortunately,

you're the guy that's got to make the call.

I can't.

Look at me. Look at me in the eye. Take a deep breath. Deep breath.

Feel a pushing on your chest?

Okay, don't let it out. Look at me. Look me in the eye.

You've done shit in your life so much harder than this. You just can't remember right now.

But take my word for it. You can do this,

'cause I'm not gonna let you fuck up anymore, ok?

Ok, here we go.

Let it out. Let it out right now.

Hello.

Hey. Dad?

I ask her a question as simple as "how you doing?" Or "what's going on?"

And she flips out. You know?

You do, honey.

I mean, a while ago, her mom was very sick. She was dying of cancer.

It was truly horrible.

And, uh, in order to be supportive, I stayed out of her way,

'cause she made it quite clear that that's what she wanted.

And then her mom didn't die.

She went into spontaneous remission.

You'd think she'd be thrilled over that. Right? Overjoyed, in fact.

That freaked her out, too. All right. Fair enough.

Now, she needed to understand that, right?

In fact, she went on some big wild-goose chase for Jesus thing. Ok?

But, you know, she sits there crucifying me when I wanna understand something.

And it... I'm just...

it's fucked up. You know? I'm... I'm fucking tired of it.

Are you uncomfortable with Beth being on some kind of spiritual search?

No. Of course not.

Right. You just called it a "wild-goose chase for Jesus. "

It's what it represents, honey.

Peace. It represents peace. You remember peace?

Yeah. It's more than that, all right?

First you're gonna go home to be with your mom and dad

because you didn't feel safe with me.

Then you started looking for christianity.

And then, uh... oh, she quit her job.

None of these things on their own are any big deal.

But add 'em all up and they speak to a tremendous unhappiness.

- Is that why you quit your job?
- No.

Why did you quit your job?

It seemed stupid.

I'm sorry. She worked like a dog for 5 or 6 years to build up a business,

and then when it's finally taking off, she up and quits one day because it seems stupid?

I changed my mind. What is the big fucking deal?

And she gets very bitchy every time I bring it up.

- "Bitchy"?
- Yeah.

So she changed her mind. So what's the big fucking deal for you?

It was just so impulsive. You know? She just threw everything away.

Threw it all away. A party planning business.

I got sick of blowing up everybody else's balloons but my own.

That's a metaphor, by the way,

in case you wanna talk about and understand balloons for 5 hours.

Would you stop with the whistling?

A goddamn headache all day.

Nice to see you, too, Max.

Just let me guess. You're spending your day with that little hottie Alyssa.

Yeah. She made me this. What do you think?

Rock on a string. Wow.

It's jade, man.

I really like this girl a lot.

So you two a couple or something?

Boyfriend and girlfriend and all that?

Uh, I don't know. We haven't gotten that far yet.

I mean, I think so. We just... haven't gotten that far yet.

Have you boned her?

No. I was waiting for the right time.

It's been 3 weeks, Theodoros. Any time is the right time.

Hey, you know what? I'm gonna see her later tonight, so just lay off, ok?

Oh, good god.

You're a virgin.

Hey, fuck you, man. I'm 36 years old. I've had sex.

I had a girlfriend before I got sick. And I've had sex at Woodburn.

Yeah? With who?

This girl Mandy. She was kind of pudgy, but she was cute.

It was the best head in my life.

Sounds hot.

What about you?

Last week. Aurora.

You know that chick on the boardwalk who walks on glass?

No shit. She's pretty.

It wasn't that great, though.

Her feet were all rough and torn up.

I should've worn fucking pantyhose.

I chafed my buttocks.

You wear pantyhose?

Sometimes.

Y eah.

You did not answer his question.

I did answer the question, Beth. You just didn't like the answer.

He asked you to consider, just consider

if maybe it's the shit you do that makes me bitchy.

So I bring out your bitchiness. Is that what you're saying?

I'm? That's what he said, and you didn't answer his question.

You just evaded it away with all of your tap-dancing bullshit.

Can I ask you how long have you been this angry at me?

Oh, my God. You're doing it right now. Stop shrinking me.

Fucking shrink yourself. Nothing is gonna change until you do.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

I can't even ride down in this fucking elevator with you. Have a nice trip down.

Beth.

It took me a few days and a little bit of legwork,

but I finally found them, believe it or not, in a house way out in the middle of Palmdale.

Christ, Russell.

I'm just glad he's safe and sound.

Well, I wouldn't exactly call it that.

Alan, my actions last week were unforgivable,

and I apologize. I sincerely apologize.

But this isn't just about a lawsuit.

This is also about the health and well-being of a very sick young man.

- I think I'm gonna puke.
- Hey, look at me.

Can we discuss this later?

It turns out that Marnie Sams wasn't really quite

the sweet, young, innocent angel that her parents thought she was.

She was a junkie, a meth head.

I ran into a couple of her old tweaking buddies in Inglewood

who are willing to refute the family's claim

that Jake was the first guy that brought her crystal meth.

And I frankly don't think that they're in the mood to have

their daughter's name dragged through the mud right now.

They wanna settle.

I'm confused, ok? What's happening?

Am I gonna be ok?

Well, um, legally, sport, things are looking pretty good.

But on a personal level, I am frankly scared to death for you.

And that actually is one of the reasons why I wanted to ask your father here today

because I'm just very curious to find out if you feel the same way.

What kind of question is that?

Don't you love your son? I know you love your son.

- Of course I love my son.
- Well, look at him.

No, no. Don't look at me. Look at your son.

You're still looking at me. Look at your son. Look at him.

Look at him and see what's he become.

Please, don't make the mistake that Marnie Sams' parents did and wait till it's too late.

Your son is dying.

He is dying. And I swear to God, if you don't get him some help,

if you don't drive him to Betty Ford or some fucking place, I'll do it myself.

It's ok.

It's gonna be ok.

Jeez, Russell. Welcome back.

Oh, please. You know you pulled that one right out of your ass.

I wouldn't misinterpret what I heard, and I certainly wouldn't make up something like that.

What I said was I believe it's possible to do 1 year's therapy

and only 3 to 4 hours with a patient who's been given MDMA.

Right. Exactly.

What you heard me saying was that I'd be able to do it with you. I never said that.

Yeah, but you implied it.

You inferred it. I never implied it.

So you got me.

These aren't the '80s, Huffstodt.

It's extremely difficult to obtain, even through the most appropriate sources.

And here you are, dropping into my office one sunny day on 3 hours notice.

You got any, or what?

Yeah, I got some.

Great. So can we do some?

You're willing to do it with me. Right?

Why do you wanna do it?

I don't know. I'm not sure exactly.

Ok. So how's your home life?

Ah, it's ridiculous.

You know, I resent the fuck out of my mother.

Uh, my father is a sociopath.

Uh, my brother is schizophrenic, as you know.

And my son has taken to breaking into people's homes

and posing dead animals for photographs.

And how's Mrs. Huffstodt?

Oh. Uh, she's angry, really angry with me.

She wouldn't even ride in an elevator with me today.

And she's also convinced that my trip is to bring out the bitchiness in women

so that I can experience them as nothing but bitchy

so that I can use that as an excuse to not look at my own shit.

And do you think that's true?

I don't have a clue. I don't know.

But if it is, I would really like to stop,

and I don't wanna spend the 3 to 5 to 7 years in therapy figuring that all out.

I thought I had done that already, quite frankly.

So if MDMA can help me, I'd really like to try it.

Now, please. Quickly before I chicken out.

Ok.

Go to any drug or health food store and get some tyrosine and some phenylalanine.

Take 500 milligrams of each and about 600 milligrams of calcium.

That'll stop you from grinding your jaw.

Don't eat for 4 hours and half an hour after you've taken all of this stuff.

Meet me here.

It's my home address.

Wear loose clothing.

Mom.

Oh. Byrd, you scared me.

I thought you might want this if you care to wind down bit.

You have always had good instincts.

Are you gonna go out tonight?

Yeah.

My old friend Natalie's in town. I don't care.

So I, um... I take it the therapy thing with you and dad isn't going too well, huh?

Like I said, you've always had great instincts.

Well, I think you should just go out and try and have a good time tonight.

You know, you're way past due.

Like a library book.

Mom, I think Natalie can really, uh, refresh your memory.

I mean, dad said she was wild. She's the bridesmaid with long brown hair, right?

Yeah.

Well, didn't she hold up your wedding 'cause

she shacked up with some groomsman or something?

One groomsman.

I think. He told you that?

Mm-hmm. He told me that.

Unbelievable.

- Hi.
- Hello.

You have a cornfield.

Yes.

- This is L.A.
- Right.

And you have a cornfield in your front yard?

I know. How fun is that? I planted it myself. It's organic. Come in.

- God, this place is unbelievable.
- Thank you.

How are you feeling?

Um, "trepidatious. " Is that a word? I feel trepidation.

No, it's not a word, but I use it all the time myself.

Come on, George. Let's go.

Sit.

Thanks.

- That cat's name is George, huh?
- Yeah.

Hey, George.

Not really a cat person myself. I kind of prefer dogs. You know?

I find cats to be kind of, um, arrogant.

God, this place really is unbelievable.

That fixture is amazing.

Yeah, it's an original.

I designed the 3 other ones in the house when I couldn't find the real thing.

Really? Wow.

She plants her own corn and designs fixtures.

She does also many things.

So are you ready?

I... I just take it?

Like an aspirin, yes.

Right now?

Yeah.

Ok.

Uh, well, a little water would be helpful.

Wow. I feel all open and honest and warm and shit.

Uh, what do I do now? I just start talking about my mother, or what?

It takes about half an hour.

So is there anything particularly you wanna work on,

or you wanna see where this goes?

Um, let's just see where it goes, I guess.

Oh, my God! You haven't changed a bit.

Oh! How long has it been?

- 4 years?
- No. It's more like 5 years.

I love the blonde hair.

Oh, my God, you look great.

I'm a pilates junkie.

You look younger than you did 5 years ago, I swear.

Well, good. It's working.

And look at you.

A very grown-up house...

On a very grown-up street.

Get a load of this place.

I just don't...

I don't know what I'd do with all this space.

Oh, really? You'd be surprised how small it feels.

I love this.

So... soft and...

comfy,

lived in.

My place is like fucking moma.

But I guess that's what you do in Manhattan, right?

You kind of buy an obscenely overpriced loft

and stuff it with uncomfortable modern pieces.

Of course I'm never home, so who really cares?

Oh, hey.

Oh, my God.

I hardly recognized you.

How are you, Byrd?

I'm pretty good. I'm really good, actually.

I'm kind of grounded right now, but I deserved it.

I take it that means you're not hitting the town with us tonight then.

No. Um, I'd love to.

It's just somebody's got to stay at home and have dinner with grandma.

She gets kind of lonely.

Well, you always were such the little gentleman.

Yeah. Um, it isn't really working for me as well as it used to right now.

But it's really great to see you.

Yeah. You, too.

Wow.

He's so grown up.

Yeah.

Well...

it's absolutely charming.

So would you like a drink or something?

- Sure.
- Ok.

But not here.

I mean, it's not every day we get to see each other.

Let's go somewhere fun.

Ok, great. I'll just grab my purse.

Is that what you're wearing?

I gave up after an hour or so.

It was like trying to solve a goddamn rubik's cube or something.

Oh, honey, don't you worry. I will fix this.

Really? I didn't take you for the fixing type.

Buying stuff, sending it "priority" overnight. That really seems like your thing.

Oh. I fix it all the time.

I'd love to do it. I'm a fixer.

- I am.
- Yeah?

Get in there, roll the sleeves up, down and dirty, make things work. You know?

My friends think I'm kind of handy, actually.

Bob the builder, that's you.

Ok, I think I see what's going on here.

Ok.

We need some rubber cement and hammer.

Rubber cement?

I just used a screwdriver.

I'll take one of those, too, if you got one.

All right.

Yeah. Let me see.

Voila.

Um... yellow.

Go to town.

What? I have food on myself or something?

No. I was just thinking that, uh... I don't know. You look kind of glowy.

You know, all pink and healthy?

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

I'm just constipated.

It suits you.

You're sweet.

Ok. Now...

I would get...

utterly blinded...

by the knowledge that...

I was gonna... be with Beth at the end of the day.

Everything else was just... a performance.

You know, I was just... pretending...

till I could... come home and just...

and just be with her.

We would literally melt into each other.

You know when you're...

when you're so excited by someone...

that...

you just... your heart gets really slow and your...

and your breath gets really still? It's like you can't even breathe.

It was like that. It was, uh...

restless and... calm all at the...

at the same time.

That has completely passed away.

It's just gone.

It just... it just feels like death.

I don't know.

Have I created that?

Hey. Hi. Come in.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- You look handsome.
- So do you.

No, you don't look handsome. You look...

Women aren't handsome, although my mother calls unattractive women handsome.

But I don't wanna talk about my mother right now.

You look beautiful.

You look really beautiful.

I bet your hair gets really thick and curly when it grows out.

Yeah, it does.

I'm really glad you're here.

Come on. Come on. I wanna show you around.

Ok.

Oh, this is amaz- I can't believe your family owns this.

Yeah.

This and 5 more just like it. Yep.

We do pretty well. It's hard to screw up flowers, though.

So you're like independently wealthy or something?

No. Something like that.

It's not about the money to me, though.

I come here to write. I like to write.

Is that what you wanna be? You wanna be a writer?

A novelist. Yeah. 'Cause I have a lot of stories I wanna tell.

Yeah.

Oh, Teddy!

Oh, this is so sweet. You did not have to do this.

No, it's ok. It's ok. The flowers were already here.

I mean, but I wanted to.

Here. Let me take the wine.

- Ok.
- I don't have, um...

- Here. I have one.
- Ok.

You know, uh...

Shh.

It's ok.

You can touch me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Whoa! That is a stiff one, all right.

Tequila. My God.

I haven't had that in years.

It's good for you.

Tons of vitamin C in the lime juice.

And the silver stuff, it doesn't give you half the hangover the cheap stuff does.

Whenever I have a cold, I drink it like water.

So... is Craig still raking in the bucks? The shrink head.

His practice is doing really well.

He's not still pissed about the whole groomsman thing, is he?

Oh, I'm sure he's forgotten all about that.

I mean, it's not like I raped the guy.

I thought wedding guests were fair game anyway.

I'll remember that at yours.

Don't hold your breath. Think even my mom's given up hope.

You ever get lonely?

The more lonely I get, the more I force myself to get out.

No pity party here.

You joked about your mother earlier.

Do you wanna talk about your mother?

- Do I have to?
- No.

Um... my father left when we were really small.

Well, he didn't leave exactly.

He just... never came back from Vietnam.

And I remember, uh, watching her

while she put it all together and realized that he wasn't coming back.

And in a very, uh, short period of time...

she went from being... playful and funny and soft

to being... hard and strict and...

mean.

Did she love him?

She worshiped him. I mean...

he was her soul and spirit.

I remember...

how she laughed when she was with him.

It was so boisterous and free, and, you know, it would just...

catch her by surprise and...

fill the hole house with life.

And then one day I woke up and, like it or not,

she had... become a bitch.

My beautiful, sweet, funny mother had become...

that.

I can feel your hurt as a little boy.

I can feel her hurt as you tell this story.

I can envision her reconstructing herself in order to survive.

Yeah, but did she have to construct such a horrid and mean

and cold and curt, needy, judgmental...

fucking taskmaster?

Well, yes, she did. She had 2 boys to raise.

I went to this great exhibit 2 weeks ago.

Ended up fucking the 25-year-old tour guide,

tour thing, the guy who walks you around.

Fuck.

Do you remember what it's like to fuck a 25-year-old?

God, I wish I did.

I nicknamed him the Louisville slugger.

He's from Louisville?

It's a bat, Bethy.

A baseball bat.

A long, hard... hard baseball bat.

I tried to... I tried to replace my dad, you know.

Tried to make her laugh and make her happy like he did, but...

I couldn't do it.

Of course you couldn't.

Did she asked you to do that?

Yeah.

I think she did in her own way.

You know?

I certainly was responsible for her feelings,

and it was my job to perform well.

And I remember if I would do something that I knew she wouldn't approve of,

I would just... not tell her,

'cause I knew...

it would make her unhappy.

Do you keep secrets from Beth?

Why didn't you tell Beth what you were doing here?

I was hoping George here would have the answer to that one.

Hey, George, how come I'm lying to my wife?

Never ask a pussy why you lie to your wife.

You know, I... every now and then,

I wonder what my life would be like if I'd never met Huff.

Well, you went the married route. I didn't.

Who can say who's happier, right?

And what is happy really anyway? It's just relative to one day to the next.

Hey, ladies.

My friend here seems to think that one of you two

can help him kick my ass in shooting some pool.

So either of you two feel like winning?

Thank you, but we're kind of in the middle of a conversation.

- Come on.
- Just a minute.

I think the operative word here is "winning," Beth.

- Hi. I'm Natalie.
- Hi. Gus.

And that's Josh.

Anybody ever tell you you look like Sandra Bullock?

Sandra Bullock.

Really?

Does Beth hold you responsible for her feelings the way your mother did?

No.

No. Beth is the opposite of my mother.

Beth is... really strong and...

comfortable in her own skin. You know?

Well, maybe that's why your marriage isn't what you want it to be.

Beth isn't your mother.

She's your wife.

You know, we recreate where we came from

because we think that's what love is.

You're abused as a child, and so you abuse your own children,

'cause that must be love.

Now, you use the same word to describe both your mother and Beth

even though you admit they're not at all alike.

And even though you know very well that Beth isn't your mother,

it's still possible that you behave towards her in the same way.

And Beth's needs are different.

She doesn't wanna be treated that way.

You ever wonder why she reacts to you the way she does?

You think it's possible that you're partly responsible here?

Well...

fuck.

I've got news for you, Huffstodt.

Kids don't wanna fuck their parents.

Don't forget to light the candles, darling.

Just because we're having chili doesn't mean we can't have ambience.

Want some milk, sweetheart?

With chili?

Oh, yeah. I couldn't agree more.

Why don't you grab a beer from the fridge, huh?

Oh, what the hell. While you're at it, grab 2.

Oh. Uh, gram, grandpa called, uh, like 3 times, but I forgot to tell you.

3 times? My, my, my.

Yeah, it's pretty pathetic, huh?

Hey, don't slander your grandfather. He's never done anything to you.

Well, that's probably because he wasn't around a lot when I was growing up.

He was kind of a hard-ass with the whole skinned cat thing, you know.

Well, somebody had to be, and it certainly, God knows, wasn't your father.

He's too afraid you won't like him.

Well, seriously, darling, the denial in this house is breathtaking.

I know. Tell me about it.

Yeah. I mean, here, you know, you break into neighbors' homes

and you pose slimy dead animals on their brunswig and fils.

And what does he say? "Oh, how ingenious. How creative. "

Well, I mean, it was for a photo exhibit.

Well, so if Charles Manson had gotten those girls

to take pictures of that poor Sharon Tate, that would've been art?

I don't think so.

It was James's idea.

I don't give a hoot whose idea it was. You went along with it.

That is a very lame explanation.

You just try telling the jews that it was all Hitler's idea

and see where that one gets you.

Or the poor, toasted Hiroshima people.

Yeah, that it was Truman's fault.

Or the meter maid- that you left all your change on your nightstand.

You'd still get a ticket.

Um, how many of those martinis have you had tonight, gram?

You know, you could spend your whole life blaming everybody else for it,

or you could live your life and take responsibility for it.

But in the end, you have nobody but yourself to blame.

Right.

Right. You're damn right I'm right. Now, be a dear and freshen my drink.

You sure, gram? You have another one of those,

and you might pass out before you get to scrabble.

I don't pass out.

Sometimes I just go to sleep early.

Look... I don't mean to be so hard on you about the dead animal thing, honey.

I mean, you should live your life,

and you should live it now.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

- Is that ok?
- Yeah. Good.

It's good. It's good.

Yeah. Yeah. Ah, yeah.

Oh, God!

Here we go.

Oh! Yeah!

Hey, what's the matter?

Putting that thing together tucker you out?

Told you it was a pain in the ass, huh?

A little tuckered, yeah.

Well, eat more.

You probably are not full enough.

A guy like you needs to eat every 1 to 2 hours, keep your energy up, huh?

Yep. More food. Got enough food? Not full.

Love that pasta. Love that red sauce. Yep.

I cannot believe that this is take-out.

It tastes almost as good as ragu.

Thanks again... for buying the crib and...

What? What?

Nothing. I was just... getting a little nervous.

Nervous? Why nervous? No reason to be nervous.

Well, Fellini's almost here, and,

you know, as of this morning, he didn't even have a bed.

This is true. But now he has a bed.

He actually has a really nice bed.

Thank you.

It was very, very sweet.

No problem. I'm happy to help.

I cannot believe we're about to have a baby. Can you?

Right.

Baby.

Oh, my God!

Is the Goddamn water coming out now?

I can't... I can't reach it.

You can't reach what? The baby?

No. It's one of those charley horses.

Oh, God! I need a banana. Knock it out.

- Ok. Banana.
- Would you mind?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where?

My calf. Go deeper. Deeper.

- Like that?
- No, do it like this.

Like this. Don't be afraid. Hurt me if you have to!

- Like that?
- Oh! Oh! Yes!

Yes! Oh!

Me, me, me!

Nice.

Make it pretty, Bethy.

She already has.

Yes!

And she's good with a stick.

Like riding a bike, right?

Yayger yah!

Oh! Been a few years since I've done this.

It's been years since you've done a lot of things, Beth.

Stop being such a brentwood bitch.

Oh! All right. To teaneck.

- To teaneck.
- To teaneck.

Now, that's the girl I know and love.

I love her.

Yeah. Take it. It's your shot.

Don't go anywhere.

Excuse us one moment.

Gus here is gonna take me to the little girl's room.

- He's gonna what?
- I'll be right back.

Isn't that what the kids do?

Have a bunch of sex on this stuff?

The kids mostly like to touch and stroke one another on ecstasy.

For some of them, it's the first time they've ever really loved themselves,

and consequently they're not afraid of loving someone else.

But for those of us who are a little older,

who've learned how to sit still,

we use it to talk about what we're thinking and feeling, what troubles us.

And then everything becomes clear, as I said, without any judgment.

Where are you now?

You're sad about something, aren't you?

Yeah.

What are you sad about?

My friend.

Your friend.

Yeah. My friend Russell.

He's dying and I can't stop it.

Is he sick?

Yeah. He's a drug addict and an alcoholic.

He's my... best friend, and I love him.

He's dying.

And there's nothing you can do to help him, is there?

No. I can't help.

I can't. I can't help him.

Russy?

Russell. Russell. Yes.

Just go back to sleep, ok?

I'm just gonna let myself out.

You don't have to.

You can stay the night if you want to.

What?

It's... it's late.

You've had a long day.

Just sleep here and head out in the morning.

I'm not gonna molest you in the middle of the night or anything.

Um... thank you. I appreciate that.

But, um, I don't, um, want... have my toothbrush.

I've got plenty of toothbrushes and mouthwash and deodorant.

I'm a regular rite-aid.

Really, it's no big deal.

Look, I'm heading in.

Do you wanna come? You can.

If not, drive safe.

Thanks for tonight, and I'll see you when I see you, ok?

My leg.

Regular fucking rite-aid.

Can't hear you.

You have a... medium bristle, perhaps?

Hi, pretty girl.

Hi. Come here.

Come here.

Hi.

You have the loveliest mouth.

Anybody ever tell you you have the loveliest... mouth?

Bethy. No.

Beth.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Don't go.

Beth. Come on.

Beth.

You ok?

I mean, are we ok?

I'm fine. I just, um... I have a family and a husband.

I shouldn't be here. I need to go home.

I'll take you.

No, no, no. I'll get a cab. Just stay and enjoy.

Ok.

Yeah, ok.

I'm gonna call you tomorrow and maybe we can hit Fred Segal or something.

Yeah. Call me.

Ok.

Fellini, wait-

You're working on your novel?

Yeah.

I'm writing... writing my novel. Writing is easy.

Some ideas came to me in the middle of the night, and I wanted to get them out.

They woke me up. I couldn't sleep.

Well, don't be too long. It's getting cold in here.

I won't. I won't be too long.

Ok.

I won't be long at all.

So you want a recap, or you think you've got it?

Well, let's see. Um...

at the risk of sounding like a boy scout here, uh...

I need to free myself from my mother, start being her adult son

and stop being her 12-year-old surrogate husband.

I need to be straight with my own son,

stop worrying so much about whether he likes me or not.

I need to say good-bye to my best friend Russell while he's still alive.

If I wait, I might not get the chance.

And I have to be honest with my wife.

I have to stop obsessing about everything she's feeling

and start being brave enough to be honest about what I'm feeling.

And, uh, I have to stop talking her into the ground about every little thought I'm having

and just keep it simple.

You keep on talking everyone into the ground, Huffstodt,

you're gonna bury them, pure and simple.

Thanks.

You're welcome.

You can pick some corn on the way out if you like.

Transcript: Raceman

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