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Previously on Huff...
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You're supposed to be thinking about what I'm feeling here!
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Put the gun down right now!
Hey!
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Dad isn't dead, mother.
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Well, he is to me.
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You're pawning me off on someone else?
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You will regret this.
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You are always barging into every situation
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and demanding attention, making it all about you!
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I have had just about enough, Beth.
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Mom?
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It's just my back. I just need that-
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Oh, my god!
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Oh, god, help me!
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My mother's going to die, and where are you?
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You're married.
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You wore a ring at lunch. You're not wearing it tonight.
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Good morning.
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Do I know you?
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I will stick my finger up your ass.
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Pepper!
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This is what we call the giddyap powder.
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Heroin?
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Get out of my house, you fucking pathetic lunatic!
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You look me in the eye and tell me you kissed her on the cheek,
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you fucking asshole!
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I kissed her on the mouth, ok? Twice, all right?
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Are you happy now?
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Twice?
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It's where girls wear lipstick and give guys blow jobs.
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What else are you doing?
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No!
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No. It's ok. It's ok.
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No please! No! No!
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I wigged out at lunch. They've been after me all day.
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They make me want to jump out the window.
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Told me I could fly.
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Hi, mom.
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Hello.
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Please tell me. What do I have to do to get some of your fucking attention?
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I was your girlfriend the night we took ecstasy
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and smashed your flat screen.
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Oh, god!
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I was horsie number 17.
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Oh, yeah. Now I remember.
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I'm going to have a little baby Russell.
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I'm ready to go home now, mom.
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Oh, my god, you are so beautiful.
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I'm going to be kibble.
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But I will die if I get any closer to you, Teddy.
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A drug called Clozaril.
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There's a very small chance that he could have a fatal reaction.
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Then no.
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Mom, Teddy's outside whether you like it or not.
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Sweetie, this isn't as bad as it looks.
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You fucked my mother!
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Hey, ma, how about it? Can I have that pill now?
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- No!
- Shit!
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Teddy!
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Teddy!
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Oh, my god, you are so beautiful.
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I had no idea how beautiful you would be.
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Beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful.
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All fucked up.
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I fucked up.
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Who cares, man?
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You're supposed to be thinking about what I'm- what I'm-
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what I'm feeling here. What I'm feeling here, you know?
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I'm afraid we have to stop.
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I don't feel safe with you anymore.
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I mean, how many people do you think you truly help?
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Who the hell are you?
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But you're going to be there for her, too?
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It's just like you're there for every single other person in your life
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who is sucking you dry.
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Who the hell are you?
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No, I'm not leaving you, but I am leaving.
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Who the hell are you?
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- You're crazy!
- I am not crazy!
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Yes, you are. Please come here and get him. He's crazy!
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You didn't have to throw him down the stairs!
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I love you, Huff, and so does she.
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I have to repeat myself a lot and raise my voice.
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Especially at staff meetings. I don't know what the problem is.
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I mean, it's not like I'm saying crazy things or anything.
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You can do crazy things sometimes, dad.
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I think it's my bite.
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Is he pissed? I couldn't tell.
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I don't know what he is anymore.
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It pushes my tongue back in my throat when I close my mouth.
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It makes me garble, swallow words.
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- Dr. Huffstodt?
- Yeah.
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Jesus, man, why don't you just look at your watch?
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What?
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I said, why don't you just look at your watch?
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You just snuck a look over my shoulder, probably at a clock.
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Yep. There it is.
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You guys have them hidden all over the place.
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I wouldn't say all over the place.
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What's wrong with your stomach?
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You've been wincing all session.
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Really? I wasn't aware of that.
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There. See?
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Art, I apologize.
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And when our time is up, you can just look at your watch and tell me.
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Art, our time is up.
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No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
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Not a chance. No.
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Tomorrow. I said tomorrow.
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Because there is no fucking way I'm going to drag my bruised
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and shattered ass back into the office this afternoon.
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Are you fucking listening to me? You're not listening, are you?
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May I ask you what is so fucking important about this woman
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that she cannot wait till tomorrow?
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Well, then why do we want her as a client?
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I thought we hated pain in the ass clients.
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Ok. 2:00, and then I am gone.
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Because I have physical therapy at 4:00.
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Why?
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Because my ribs are crushed, my neck is fucked,
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and I cannot breathe! God damn it.
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She better not be fucking late.
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Dick. He's a fucking dick.
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Bruised.
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What?
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Your ribs, they're bruised. They're not crushed.
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Bruised is worse, smarty.
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And you really shouldn't talk to Meeks like that. He's a senior partner.
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He's a dick.
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He's a senior partner, Russell.
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He's a smelly old dick.
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He smells like urine.
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Did that voodoo chiropractor guy call back yet?
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Uh, no. I left word. He didn't call back.
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How about the pharmacy? Did the pharmacy call?
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Yes. They called, and they said you do not have a prescription for Oxycontin.
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They're full of shit.
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That's bullshit.
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Mills wrote me a scrip for 30 last thursday.
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He said I could call for another.
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You had 30 Oxycontin last thursday?
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Something like that.
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And you don't have any more?
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I am in pain.
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Oh, my god, Russell. The whole world is in pain.
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Oh, that's so fucking pithy.
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Paula called, and she wanted to know what's going on with you and Huff.
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What's going on with me and Huff...
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is fuck Huff.
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That's what's going on with me and Huff. He's a heartless asshole.
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That's funny, because that's what she said he said about you.
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I will see him one more session, and then I will decide.
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What?
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I said I will see him for one more session,
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and then I will decide.
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Now, what in the hell did you do to that one?
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Oh, he thinks I don't listen to him, and quite frankly, he's right.
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I find him dull and boring and full of self-pity.
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Plus, he mumbles, you know? He mumbles.
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You know, there's a theory that when you list the faults of others
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you're really listing your own.
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I don't mumble.
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Huff, you may be feeling a little bit of that self-pity lately yourself.
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Paula, dear, I am not having a good week, ok?
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My schizophrenic brother has flown away in my car.
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I have absolutely no clue where he or it is.
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That's for starters this week.
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Huff...
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I'm going to pray on that self-pity thing.
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Thank you, Paula.
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I suppose I can't stop you from doing that.
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And while you're at it, can you pray for my mom,
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who's taken to drinking all day like she's going to the chair?
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Let's see. Who else?
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Oh, yeah. My ex former ex fucking ex best friend,
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who's suddenly become the world's largest anus.
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Pray for him, too.
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Well, I find it hard to believe that Russell could be
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any more of an asshole than he already is.
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Really? 'Cause he fucked my mother.
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Ok? Happy you asked?
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He what?
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Oh, you heard me.
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Izzy?
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Consensual, yet.
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Ugh, what a visual. Oh, God.
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Mom...
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you're in pain, aren't you?
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No.
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Well, yes.
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Of course, I mean, it is cancer of the spine, and it's certainly nothing I can't-
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Manage?
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Right. Manage.
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When was the last time you took your pill?
195
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I don't know, honey.
196
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Yeah. Which means it's time to take another one.
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No.
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I don't like them.
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- You don't like them?
- I don't like them.
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Why?
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Oh, it's hard to explain. I...
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I- I feel like I'm not here,
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like I'm- like I'm missing something.
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Like pain?
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More than that. I...
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I don't want to miss anything, honey.
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Mom, please.
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And I would like to get you that walker.
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Baby, I'm going home in a few days.
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That's right.
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Do you want to risk falling down and getting stuck here for another 2 weeks?
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Oh, what the hell.
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Just promise me you won't decorate it with green tennis balls.
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Green tennis balls?
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You know, on the legs,
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the bottom of the legs.
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Whenever I see some poor slob hobbling along with a walker,
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it makes me feel bad enough, but
219
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when there are those green tennis balls dragging along behind for,
220
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I don't know, traction or something...
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I don't know. It's just so depressing.
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Fine.
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No green tennis balls.
224
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Russell, you are so late.
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I'm a day fucking early in my book.
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Meeks already called looking for you.
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Yeah, fuck Meeks.
228
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Who's this woman again? What's her name?
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Rathburn- Dori Rathburn.
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You come into my office in 5 minutes, all right?
231
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And you say I've got-I've got a physical therapy session in the valley or something.
232
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But you don't have a physical therapy session in the valley or something.
233
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Who are you? The king of police?
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I've been back here 10 seconds. You're already pogo sticking my ass.
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Go buy some fucking stamps, will you?
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5 minutes.
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All right.
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Good afternoon, Ms. Rathburn.
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Missus? Miss? Ms. Rathburn.
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I, um, traffic is just abominable.
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Yeah, move it all. Just move it all back. Right.
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Yeah. Just push my entire life and everybody else's life I'm connected to
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just back one whole hour.
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Uh-huh. That's right.
245
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And let's just hope that nobody gets shot on the freeway or hit by a car
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just because they were somewhere they weren't supposed to be
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at a time they weren't supposed to be there
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just because somebody had a little problem with traffic.
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405. Big bitch.
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Yeah, and just call me back in- what?
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5 minutes?
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Yeah, thanks.
253
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You know, it actually wasn't the traffic.
254
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Oh. So you're a liar, too?
255
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It's this brace thingy I got on my neck.
256
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Yeah? Slows you down a little bit, does it, big boy?
257
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Yeah, that, and, you know, torn up ribs.
258
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Had a nasty fall last week.
259
00:13:09,514 --> 00:13:12,392
Yeah, lucky to be alive. Oddly lucky in fact.
260
00:13:12,558 --> 00:13:15,228
You know, shook up the vertebrae and the neck.
261
00:13:15,263 --> 00:13:16,813
I just-takes me a little-
262
00:13:16,854 --> 00:13:19,023
little while getting started in the morning, you know?
263
00:13:19,058 --> 00:13:21,334
Bending over, pulling things on.
264
00:13:21,369 --> 00:13:23,611
Pants, socks. It just takes time.
265
00:13:23,646 --> 00:13:25,446
Like pantyhose.
266
00:13:26,447 --> 00:13:27,824
Pantyhose?
267
00:13:27,907 --> 00:13:29,499
Shucks, I wouldn't know.
268
00:13:29,534 --> 00:13:31,828
So you've never worn pantyhose?
269
00:13:33,329 --> 00:13:35,081
When have I worn pantyhose?
270
00:13:35,290 --> 00:13:37,298
Hell of a nice bar you got there.
271
00:13:37,333 --> 00:13:40,232
Oh. Why, thank you. Thank you so much.
272
00:13:40,267 --> 00:13:43,131
Would you, uh, like a little something?
273
00:13:43,166 --> 00:13:44,055
Would you?
274
00:13:44,090 --> 00:13:47,809
Would I? Well, it is-
275
00:13:47,844 --> 00:13:50,430
The middle of the afternoon, Mr. Tupper.
276
00:13:50,465 --> 00:13:51,396
A little early.
277
00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:52,890
I was just offering.
278
00:13:53,308 --> 00:13:55,400
Client service and everything.
279
00:13:55,435 --> 00:13:59,689
Yeah? Well, don't try to service me again.
280
00:13:59,724 --> 00:14:01,316
I've been in A.A. for years.
281
00:14:01,357 --> 00:14:04,075
Good for you. Good for you.
282
00:14:04,110 --> 00:14:07,614
I am in public relations, Mr. Tupper.
283
00:14:08,072 --> 00:14:09,741
Image is everything.
284
00:14:10,450 --> 00:14:12,035
Are you always late?
285
00:14:12,660 --> 00:14:16,122
Only when I'm not on time.
286
00:14:17,248 --> 00:14:19,917
Being late is a control issue.
287
00:14:19,959 --> 00:14:23,171
Passive-aggressive, yet still controlling.
288
00:14:23,504 --> 00:14:26,174
Are you always passive-aggressive?
289
00:14:26,424 --> 00:14:29,364
You know, I would never say that I have ever in hindsight
290
00:14:29,399 --> 00:14:32,305
characterized the times that I've been less than punctual
291
00:14:32,340 --> 00:14:34,981
in precisely that fashion. No.
292
00:14:35,016 --> 00:14:39,854
You know, most passive-aggressives claim a certain surprised innocence
293
00:14:39,889 --> 00:14:42,565
when confronted with their own behavior,
294
00:14:42,607 --> 00:14:48,237
which I personally find to be the most insidious form of the behavior itself.
295
00:14:49,405 --> 00:14:50,615
Right.
296
00:14:50,657 --> 00:14:55,627
I sincerely apologize for my tardiness.
297
00:14:55,662 --> 00:15:01,709
We are not in grade school, Mr. Tupper, and this is not recess.
298
00:15:01,744 --> 00:15:03,002
You were late.
299
00:15:03,044 --> 00:15:05,296
Plain and simple.
300
00:15:17,392 --> 00:15:18,691
Pathetic.
301
00:15:18,726 --> 00:15:20,276
What's pathetic?
302
00:15:20,311 --> 00:15:23,189
Tennis balls on a walker.
303
00:15:23,398 --> 00:15:25,858
Why does that depress me?
304
00:15:25,893 --> 00:15:28,319
Not just now. Historically.
305
00:15:28,354 --> 00:15:29,702
I don't know.
306
00:15:29,737 --> 00:15:32,080
Tennis balls represent a sport.
307
00:15:32,115 --> 00:15:35,201
Something that requires a lot of strength and dexterity.
308
00:15:35,451 --> 00:15:39,455
Most people who, uh, use a walker probably don't serve very well anymore.
309
00:15:39,872 --> 00:15:42,500
Probably reminds you of times gone by.
310
00:15:42,535 --> 00:15:44,669
That will never return.
311
00:15:45,253 --> 00:15:48,464
Oh, Mikey. I know this must be hard on you, too.
312
00:15:48,506 --> 00:15:51,050
You can have my balls after I die.
313
00:15:51,085 --> 00:15:51,975
Mother.
314
00:15:52,010 --> 00:15:53,636
All right. All right.
315
00:15:54,178 --> 00:15:56,688
You can have my balls after I go home to New Jersey.
316
00:15:56,723 --> 00:16:00,685
All right, Madeline, you ready to give this baby a whirl?
317
00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:02,186
I guess so.
318
00:16:08,192 --> 00:16:10,153
- You want this a little closer?
- I'm just-
319
00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:13,323
leg's fallen asleep or something.
320
00:16:13,358 --> 00:16:15,116
You need a little hand?
321
00:16:17,327 --> 00:16:18,953
Oh, ow.
322
00:16:19,787 --> 00:16:22,332
Ok. Honey, can you give us a hand?
323
00:16:22,367 --> 00:16:23,583
Hey, I'm sorry.
324
00:16:23,618 --> 00:16:24,584
Ok, mom.
325
00:16:24,626 --> 00:16:26,753
Maybe all 3 of us can get me-
326
00:16:31,924 --> 00:16:33,676
Yeah. Let me just...
327
00:16:39,641 --> 00:16:43,770
So your client brings in this little dwarf of an auditor.
328
00:16:43,805 --> 00:16:46,123
Well, actually, I never saw him, but frankly,
329
00:16:46,158 --> 00:16:48,441
I tend to think of all auditors as kind of small.
330
00:16:48,476 --> 00:16:49,365
You know what I mean?
331
00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:50,909
Depends on who and why they're auditing.
332
00:16:50,944 --> 00:16:54,656
Nevertheless, this dwarf discovers that you have been
333
00:16:54,691 --> 00:16:57,426
grossly over-billing your clients allegedly.
334
00:16:57,461 --> 00:17:00,161
My firm was grossly over-billing my clients.
335
00:17:00,196 --> 00:17:01,913
Yes. Very good.
336
00:17:01,955 --> 00:17:04,172
Not you. The firm.
337
00:17:04,207 --> 00:17:07,293
Even though they were your clients.
338
00:17:07,585 --> 00:17:12,388
Anyway, my vague and non-specific question to you
339
00:17:12,423 --> 00:17:16,344
regardingthis flagrant misunderstanding over your personal involvement
340
00:17:16,379 --> 00:17:18,554
with the alleged over-billing is this:
341
00:17:18,805 --> 00:17:22,892
Is there any way, any way at all, that we could establish,
342
00:17:22,927 --> 00:17:24,776
beyond a shadow of a doubt,
343
00:17:24,811 --> 00:17:28,439
that you were in no way involved with the aforementioned over-billings?
344
00:17:29,148 --> 00:17:30,525
Not really.
345
00:17:30,733 --> 00:17:31,901
Not really?
346
00:17:32,026 --> 00:17:33,987
That's why I'm here, silly.
347
00:17:35,113 --> 00:17:36,329
Damn it.
348
00:17:36,364 --> 00:17:38,700
Is there-what's wrong? Is there something wrong?
349
00:17:38,735 --> 00:17:40,323
I'm just a little parched. Can you just-
350
00:17:40,358 --> 00:17:41,911
can you get me something to drink, please?
351
00:17:41,946 --> 00:17:43,336
Yes, of course.
352
00:17:43,371 --> 00:17:46,339
I think I have some- some fiji. Do you like fiji?
353
00:17:46,374 --> 00:17:50,837
I've always been taken with the, um, the little picture behind the,
354
00:17:50,872 --> 00:17:53,336
you know, the waterfall. I love it. Here.
355
00:17:53,371 --> 00:17:55,800
Here, quench your- quench your parch.
356
00:17:55,883 --> 00:17:58,052
Excuse me. I'm sorry to interrupt, Mr. Tupper,
357
00:17:58,094 --> 00:18:02,015
but you have a very important physical therapy session in the valley in an hour.
358
00:18:02,050 --> 00:18:04,726
I'm sorry, Ms. Rathburn, I forgot to remind him earlier.
359
00:18:04,767 --> 00:18:07,312
It'll be next to impossible for me to re-schedule.
360
00:18:07,347 --> 00:18:08,778
Stop. Stop.
361
00:18:08,813 --> 00:18:10,363
I'm with a client.
362
00:18:10,398 --> 00:18:13,074
If I've told you once, I've told you 1,000 times,
363
00:18:13,109 --> 00:18:16,112
never interrupt me when I'm with a very important client!
364
00:18:16,147 --> 00:18:17,363
Get out. Get out.
365
00:18:17,398 --> 00:18:18,740
Get out!
366
00:18:26,456 --> 00:18:28,625
I'm so sorry. She's new.
367
00:18:29,667 --> 00:18:31,085
Ms. Rathburn?
368
00:18:33,588 --> 00:18:35,173
Ms. Rathburn.
369
00:18:35,715 --> 00:18:37,383
H ello?
370
00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:41,262
Ms. - Ms. Rathburn.
371
00:18:42,597 --> 00:18:44,140
Hello?
372
00:18:47,852 --> 00:18:50,480
Yes. No. Thank you.
373
00:18:50,515 --> 00:18:51,648
'Kay.
374
00:18:51,856 --> 00:18:54,442
Well, it seems like your 5 minutes are up,
375
00:18:54,477 --> 00:18:56,736
and I really must be going.
376
00:18:56,778 --> 00:18:58,467
Well, when are we going to continue this,
377
00:18:58,502 --> 00:19:00,156
because I think we should continue this.
378
00:19:00,191 --> 00:19:01,623
You need to continue this.
379
00:19:01,658 --> 00:19:04,702
I think you may be in serious need of counsel.
380
00:19:04,737 --> 00:19:06,371
How 'bout drinks tonight?
381
00:19:06,496 --> 00:19:07,378
All right.
382
00:19:07,413 --> 00:19:09,832
And it is not a date, Mr. Tupper.
383
00:19:09,867 --> 00:19:12,258
So let's not be fancy.
384
00:19:12,293 --> 00:19:15,087
It is the continuation of a business meeting
385
00:19:15,122 --> 00:19:17,882
that we must continue because you were-
386
00:19:17,924 --> 00:19:20,391
- Late.
- late for this one.
387
00:19:20,426 --> 00:19:22,185
So find something that is convenient.
388
00:19:22,220 --> 00:19:26,182
Have your assistant call my assistant, and I will meet you there.
389
00:19:35,650 --> 00:19:38,444
Gram, I know you're in there. I can hear you drinking.
390
00:19:39,195 --> 00:19:40,258
Byrd?
391
00:19:40,293 --> 00:19:41,322
Yeah?
392
00:19:42,073 --> 00:19:43,533
Are you alone?
393
00:19:43,950 --> 00:19:45,034
Very.
394
00:19:47,453 --> 00:19:49,955
I'm afraid I'm not a very pretty sight.
395
00:19:49,990 --> 00:19:52,458
I'm feeling a little under the weather.
396
00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:56,087
It's ok. The whole house is kind of under the weather.
397
00:19:56,462 --> 00:19:59,173
Um, I came to bring you down to dinner.
398
00:19:59,208 --> 00:20:00,091
Food?
399
00:20:00,133 --> 00:20:02,892
Mm-hmm. Steamed chicken and brown rice.
400
00:20:02,927 --> 00:20:05,763
Oh, golly. I don't think so, sweetheart, but-
401
00:20:05,798 --> 00:20:07,640
but thanks for being sweet.
402
00:20:08,182 --> 00:20:11,519
Look, Gram, the only way that you're going to get through this,
403
00:20:11,554 --> 00:20:14,856
or the only way that any of us are going to get through this
404
00:20:14,897 --> 00:20:17,921
is just if we show up and we be together,
405
00:20:17,956 --> 00:20:20,889
and we let the chips fall where they may.
406
00:20:20,924 --> 00:20:23,823
Mm-hmm. Well, you know, darling, in theory,
407
00:20:23,858 --> 00:20:25,450
showing up sounds very adult,
408
00:20:25,491 --> 00:20:29,078
but I am nowhere near ready to be an adult, ok?
409
00:20:30,580 --> 00:20:33,583
I don't suppose I should offer you a highball, should I?
410
00:20:33,618 --> 00:20:35,126
How old are you now?
411
00:20:35,668 --> 00:20:36,801
25.
412
00:20:36,836 --> 00:20:38,963
Oh. Scotch?
413
00:20:38,998 --> 00:20:40,214
Neat.
414
00:20:42,842 --> 00:20:43,593
Gram?
415
00:20:43,635 --> 00:20:44,886
Coming up.
416
00:20:47,388 --> 00:20:48,514
Thanks.
417
00:20:48,765 --> 00:20:51,893
The way I see it, you've been drinking for about a week.
418
00:20:51,928 --> 00:20:54,187
You can't do that. You're gonna kill yourself.
419
00:20:54,222 --> 00:20:55,778
That's the idea, isn't it?
420
00:20:55,813 --> 00:20:59,032
Gram. Hey, stop it. Please. All right?
421
00:20:59,067 --> 00:21:04,614
Just go take a shower and put on some clean clothes and come down to dinner. All right?
422
00:21:04,649 --> 00:21:07,116
Nana's gonna leave in a few days, and you like her,
423
00:21:07,151 --> 00:21:09,292
so don't let dad's craziness fuck that up.
424
00:21:09,327 --> 00:21:12,830
Oh, you know the good ones always do die young, Byrdy.
425
00:21:12,997 --> 00:21:18,009
You should try and be very hurtful to the ones you love,
426
00:21:18,044 --> 00:21:22,590
and you will be guaranteed at least another 30 years. Mark my words.
427
00:21:22,625 --> 00:21:24,425
I don't buy that, Gram.
428
00:21:25,051 --> 00:21:27,136
Well, it's true, my darling.
429
00:21:27,178 --> 00:21:29,972
You remember my best friend Lois, don't you?
430
00:21:30,007 --> 00:21:32,732
Mm-hmm. She passed away last Christmas, right?
431
00:21:32,767 --> 00:21:38,231
Well, she didn't exactly pass away. I actually had to put her down myself.
432
00:21:40,316 --> 00:21:41,526
Oops.
433
00:21:43,236 --> 00:21:45,245
Um, say that again, Gram.
434
00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:47,163
Byrdy, she was another good one.
435
00:21:47,198 --> 00:21:51,918
A massive stroke just turned her into a cucumber.
436
00:21:51,953 --> 00:21:55,206
She was a lousy bridge player, but she was a wonderful friend.
437
00:21:55,241 --> 00:21:57,330
She was my best friend, Byrdy.
438
00:21:57,365 --> 00:21:59,419
I had no choice, sweetheart...
439
00:22:02,755 --> 00:22:04,465
but to put her down.
440
00:22:06,718 --> 00:22:08,518
You mean like a dog?
441
00:22:08,553 --> 00:22:11,639
Oh, come on. Don't be so noble.
442
00:22:11,806 --> 00:22:16,519
You know, if Mike was a dog and he was pooing all ovner the house
443
00:22:16,554 --> 00:22:21,232
and he couldn't stand or walk or even, you know, run after a ball,
444
00:22:21,274 --> 00:22:23,526
you would do the same thing.
445
00:22:23,610 --> 00:22:25,987
You would... you would help him along.
446
00:22:26,022 --> 00:22:28,740
Yeah, but he is a dog, Gram.
447
00:22:31,409 --> 00:22:35,788
Well, do you know what? Lois didn't even have the dignity of a dog.
448
00:22:37,582 --> 00:22:41,336
She was in that lousy, hideous hospital,
449
00:22:42,420 --> 00:22:46,966
and she was hooked up to machines and tubes,
450
00:22:47,001 --> 00:22:49,761
and she was brain dead, Byrdy.
451
00:22:49,796 --> 00:22:51,846
I made sure of that.
452
00:22:52,639 --> 00:22:55,099
Brain... dead.
453
00:22:55,391 --> 00:22:57,644
It was her Christmas present.
454
00:23:01,898 --> 00:23:05,652
You understand that, don't you... sweetheart?
455
00:23:06,235 --> 00:23:07,612
Um...
456
00:23:08,821 --> 00:23:12,290
well, uh, in time, Gram, I probably will,
457
00:23:12,325 --> 00:23:15,995
but at the moment, it's kind of thrown me, you know?
458
00:23:16,037 --> 00:23:20,667
I mean, I just came up here to ask you to have some brown rice and chicken, you know?
459
00:23:20,708 --> 00:23:24,879
I didn't really expect to talk to you about you euthanizing your best friend.
460
00:23:24,914 --> 00:23:28,424
Yeah, and I didn't think that I was gonna tell you, either. I...
461
00:23:28,549 --> 00:23:32,804
Whoa. Boy, oh, boy. I thought I was gonna take that one to my grave.
462
00:23:32,971 --> 00:23:36,161
Huh. Might not have been a bad idea, Gram.
463
00:23:36,196 --> 00:23:39,352
Well, it's our little secret, ok? Hmm?
464
00:23:39,769 --> 00:23:41,653
Oh, trust me, Gram.
465
00:23:41,688 --> 00:23:47,485
This makes you and Russell look like vestal virgins.
466
00:23:48,444 --> 00:23:53,074
That's not possible, Byrdy. Vestal virgins can only be women.
467
00:23:53,109 --> 00:23:57,704
And you can bet your bottom dollar that Russell was all man.
468
00:23:57,912 --> 00:23:59,587
Don't you forget it.
469
00:23:59,622 --> 00:24:04,210
Thank you very much for sharing that, Gram. I really appreciate it.
470
00:24:12,385 --> 00:24:15,096
Whatever happened to happiness, Byrd?
471
00:24:16,014 --> 00:24:18,266
Whatever happened to hope?
472
00:24:20,810 --> 00:24:22,437
I don't know, Gram.
473
00:24:23,938 --> 00:24:27,066
Lately, it seems to be drowning in vodka.
474
00:24:43,291 --> 00:24:46,127
Beth's looking for our I Love Lucy dvd.
475
00:24:46,711 --> 00:24:48,630
She wants to laugh with you.
476
00:24:49,047 --> 00:24:51,174
Something about your white cell count.
477
00:24:51,209 --> 00:24:53,885
Ah, yes. White cells.
478
00:24:54,510 --> 00:24:58,723
Actually, I believe in the healing power of laughter, you know?
479
00:24:58,973 --> 00:25:01,107
Mm, absolutely.
480
00:25:01,142 --> 00:25:05,271
I may have been trained in the west, but I hold out great hope for the east.
481
00:25:05,306 --> 00:25:06,564
Great hope.
482
00:25:07,982 --> 00:25:10,944
Then how come you and Beth never moved to New Jersey?
483
00:25:10,979 --> 00:25:13,780
Well, let's not go nuts.
484
00:25:16,366 --> 00:25:18,868
Too bad laughter can't bring Teddy back.
485
00:25:19,619 --> 00:25:21,746
Oh... yeah.
486
00:25:22,872 --> 00:25:24,332
Yeah, it is.
487
00:25:26,250 --> 00:25:33,132
You know, I've read all about cancer and laughter and remission and...
488
00:25:34,217 --> 00:25:39,472
Yeah, it's just that the more impossible it gets for me to walk,
489
00:25:40,306 --> 00:25:44,352
the more of a western realist I find myself becoming.
490
00:25:48,439 --> 00:25:51,241
You know, there's actually a documented case
491
00:25:51,276 --> 00:25:55,029
of an 80-year-old woman in a coma and, uh, laughter.
492
00:25:55,064 --> 00:25:56,037
You're kidding.
493
00:25:56,072 --> 00:26:02,245
No. Apparently, uh, this woman was in a coma for months, you know?
494
00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:05,748
Completely no brain activity whatsoever.
495
00:26:05,783 --> 00:26:06,714
Brain dead.
496
00:26:06,749 --> 00:26:08,049
Brain dead, right.
497
00:26:08,084 --> 00:26:09,634
Apparently, one day, one of the nurses
498
00:26:09,669 --> 00:26:11,921
was giving this woman a sponge bath, you know?
499
00:26:11,956 --> 00:26:14,882
And when the nurse got, uh, down to her,
500
00:26:14,917 --> 00:26:18,720
you know, genitalia, um...
501
00:26:19,053 --> 00:26:20,972
her brain activity spiked.
502
00:26:21,222 --> 00:26:23,690
The nurse was quite amazed and, uh,
503
00:26:23,725 --> 00:26:25,483
went and got the doctor, and explained, you know,
504
00:26:25,518 --> 00:26:28,688
"I was giving Mrs. Goldfarb," or whatever her name was,
505
00:26:28,723 --> 00:26:31,274
"a sponge bath, and I got down to her, uh...
506
00:26:31,316 --> 00:26:35,243
genitalia, and her brain activity went crazy. "
507
00:26:35,278 --> 00:26:38,990
So the doctor called the husband, and the old man got down there,
508
00:26:39,025 --> 00:26:41,864
and, you know, the doctor explained the situation.
509
00:26:41,899 --> 00:26:44,704
He said, you know, "this is gonna sound insane,
510
00:26:44,746 --> 00:26:47,457
but this nurse here was giving your wife a sponge bath,
511
00:26:47,492 --> 00:26:49,751
and when he got down to her...
512
00:26:50,084 --> 00:26:54,137
um... her brain activity spiked. "
513
00:26:54,172 --> 00:26:57,926
And the guy was amazed. He was like, "well, so what does this mean?"
514
00:26:57,961 --> 00:27:00,511
The doctor says, "well, this is kind of strange,
515
00:27:00,546 --> 00:27:03,073
but we think you should stimulate her.
516
00:27:03,108 --> 00:27:05,565
Like, you should give her oral sex. "
517
00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:08,770
So the man goes in, and he's in there like 5 minutes,
518
00:27:08,805 --> 00:27:10,486
10 minutes, a long time.
519
00:27:10,521 --> 00:27:14,879
And the guy comes out of the room, and he's pale as a ghost.
520
00:27:14,914 --> 00:27:19,238
He's-he's shaking, and he's pointing inside, can't speak.
521
00:27:19,273 --> 00:27:21,633
They run in, and the woman is dead.
522
00:27:21,668 --> 00:27:23,993
Not just brain dead, but she's...
523
00:27:24,202 --> 00:27:27,086
she's flat-lined. She's expired.
524
00:27:27,121 --> 00:27:30,416
And the doctor says, "what the hell happened?"
525
00:27:30,458 --> 00:27:32,508
The guy said, "I did what you asked.
526
00:27:32,543 --> 00:27:37,215
I gave my wife oral sex, but I think I might have choked her. "
527
00:27:48,393 --> 00:27:50,436
That's a doctor joke.
528
00:27:51,437 --> 00:27:52,897
You got me.
529
00:27:53,064 --> 00:27:55,823
You don't have to have balls to be a capitalist.
530
00:27:55,858 --> 00:27:59,779
Any greedy little chickenshit mofo can be a capitalist.
531
00:27:59,814 --> 00:28:00,870
Yeah? So which are you?
532
00:28:00,905 --> 00:28:03,950
A greedy chickenshit capitalist or a ballsy capitalist?
533
00:28:03,985 --> 00:28:05,667
I'm both. How about you?
534
00:28:05,702 --> 00:28:08,851
Greedy. Because I want to have enough disposable income
535
00:28:08,886 --> 00:28:12,000
to be able to give it to whomever I want whenever I want.
536
00:28:12,035 --> 00:28:13,174
Good for you.
537
00:28:13,209 --> 00:28:15,885
Nowhere is it written that a smart, sexy capitalista
538
00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:20,800
cannot give back both to the people and the shoe department at Neiman's.
539
00:28:20,835 --> 00:28:22,652
Those are fabulous.
540
00:28:22,687 --> 00:28:24,435
Thank you. Gucci.
541
00:28:24,470 --> 00:28:26,556
Love a fabulous shoe on a woman.
542
00:28:27,724 --> 00:28:34,772
You know, um, I give money to a women's shelter in Nigeria.
543
00:28:34,814 --> 00:28:38,157
There are men there who are HIV infected
544
00:28:38,192 --> 00:28:40,862
who believe that the only way that they can get clean
545
00:28:40,897 --> 00:28:44,490
is to have sex with a virgin.
546
00:28:44,532 --> 00:28:45,540
Jesus!
547
00:28:45,575 --> 00:28:51,956
And voila! You've got 11 million AIDS orphans and what are we doing?
548
00:28:53,750 --> 00:28:56,926
I gave money to all those hurricane people.
549
00:28:56,961 --> 00:29:01,424
You know? I was just sitting there in my fancy house in my fancy bedroom
550
00:29:01,591 --> 00:29:03,551
watching my big flat-screen TV.
551
00:29:03,586 --> 00:29:05,970
I just went and clicked.
552
00:29:06,012 --> 00:29:07,555
Bang, bang. So easy.
553
00:29:07,597 --> 00:29:08,688
Too easy, you know?
554
00:29:08,723 --> 00:29:13,186
Bet that's not the only bang bang, click click you're doing there on the TV, is it, big boy?
555
00:29:13,221 --> 00:29:14,646
Do you think?
556
00:29:15,355 --> 00:29:18,483
Hey! We are past ready over here.
557
00:29:18,524 --> 00:29:19,490
Sorry.
558
00:29:19,525 --> 00:29:22,862
You can redeem yourself by taking our order.
559
00:29:22,897 --> 00:29:24,405
What can I get for you?
560
00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:25,782
You go.
561
00:29:25,907 --> 00:29:31,496
I will have a nice, tall coca-cola.
562
00:29:32,747 --> 00:29:33,748
Miss?
563
00:29:34,499 --> 00:29:36,042
"Miss. "
564
00:29:36,334 --> 00:29:37,835
You're adorable.
565
00:29:39,671 --> 00:29:41,547
I'll have a Martini.
566
00:29:42,548 --> 00:29:46,469
Grey goose up. Cold, olives, dirty.
567
00:29:47,345 --> 00:29:48,763
You're having a Martini?
568
00:29:48,798 --> 00:29:49,896
Yep.
569
00:29:49,931 --> 00:29:52,392
I thought that you were in A.A.
570
00:29:52,427 --> 00:29:54,484
I said I go to A.A.
571
00:29:54,519 --> 00:29:57,397
I did not say I was sober.
572
00:29:58,523 --> 00:30:00,233
You still want that coke?
573
00:30:02,026 --> 00:30:03,528
So confused.
574
00:30:11,327 --> 00:30:12,745
I'm sorry.
575
00:30:23,590 --> 00:30:24,632
What?
576
00:30:24,667 --> 00:30:25,675
Nothing.
577
00:30:25,842 --> 00:30:27,141
What was that look?
578
00:30:27,176 --> 00:30:28,970
What look? I didn't give you a look.
579
00:30:29,012 --> 00:30:29,978
Yes, you did.
580
00:30:30,013 --> 00:30:31,869
- No, I didn't.
- You did, too.
581
00:30:31,904 --> 00:30:33,725
I fucking hate this bathroom.
582
00:30:35,268 --> 00:30:37,520
What's the matter with the bathroom?
583
00:30:37,604 --> 00:30:39,230
Ugly colors.
584
00:30:39,355 --> 00:30:42,400
Stupid stenciling.
585
00:30:42,483 --> 00:30:46,863
Fucking stupid, dumb, fake claw foot tub.
586
00:30:46,898 --> 00:30:48,323
Stupid shower.
587
00:30:48,781 --> 00:30:50,491
Stupid tile.
588
00:30:52,493 --> 00:30:54,412
You're right. Thank god you said something.
589
00:30:54,447 --> 00:30:56,296
I hate this fucking bathroom. It's stupid.
590
00:30:56,331 --> 00:30:59,167
Fuck this stupid fucking bathroom, you know what I'm saying?
591
00:30:59,202 --> 00:31:01,294
And there's no room in it. Have you noticed that?
592
00:31:01,329 --> 00:31:02,938
There's no goddamn room in here.
593
00:31:02,973 --> 00:31:04,512
- You're crazy.
- I'm crazy?
594
00:31:04,547 --> 00:31:07,383
Girl, you crazy. You are so- you so crazy.
595
00:31:07,418 --> 00:31:08,676
You crazy, girl!
596
00:31:08,711 --> 00:31:09,886
Quit it!
597
00:31:13,222 --> 00:31:15,273
You're gonna miss me in New Jersey.
598
00:31:15,308 --> 00:31:18,019
When you're there, you're gonna count the days
599
00:31:18,054 --> 00:31:19,938
that you're away from me, aren't you?
600
00:31:20,146 --> 00:31:22,523
I'm coming back as soon as my mother dies.
601
00:31:22,732 --> 00:31:26,069
Yeah, but you're not coming right back after your mother dies, are you?
602
00:31:26,361 --> 00:31:27,779
You're gonna stay.
603
00:31:28,655 --> 00:31:29,781
For a while.
604
00:31:30,573 --> 00:31:33,910
How long is "for a while" is what I'd like to know.
605
00:31:34,327 --> 00:31:35,662
I don't know.
606
00:31:35,703 --> 00:31:37,080
You don't know?
607
00:31:38,289 --> 00:31:40,124
No, I really don't know.
608
00:31:40,667 --> 00:31:42,043
You have no clue?
609
00:31:42,502 --> 00:31:45,255
A week? A month? No idea?
610
00:31:45,296 --> 00:31:46,464
Honey...
611
00:31:47,757 --> 00:31:50,802
Look, I'm just so tired right now.
612
00:31:50,837 --> 00:31:53,054
Really. I'm just- I'm tired.
613
00:31:58,309 --> 00:32:00,979
And number 3.
614
00:32:03,690 --> 00:32:07,485
You are adorable-le-le-le!
615
00:32:08,236 --> 00:32:11,114
Is that 3? I mean, I was just thinking, is it-
616
00:32:11,155 --> 00:32:14,450
you know, even people who I know who go to A.A. and drink,
617
00:32:14,485 --> 00:32:16,042
they rarely have 3.
618
00:32:16,077 --> 00:32:20,540
I am not a child, R-R-Ricardo.
619
00:32:21,499 --> 00:32:22,834
Russell.
620
00:32:23,418 --> 00:32:25,044
And children...
621
00:32:25,295 --> 00:32:30,008
and people who have children...
622
00:32:30,049 --> 00:32:36,222
in this age and day are no better than people who buy hummers,
623
00:32:36,257 --> 00:32:37,890
if you know what I mean.
624
00:32:38,057 --> 00:32:40,602
Um, I have no idea what you mean.
625
00:32:40,643 --> 00:32:43,146
But I'm certainly not bored.
626
00:32:43,688 --> 00:32:48,443
Tch. You don't have any kids, do you? My guess would be no.
627
00:32:49,444 --> 00:32:50,827
Really? Why?
628
00:32:50,862 --> 00:32:53,448
Is there something about me that makes you think
629
00:32:53,483 --> 00:32:56,117
that I wouldn't be good at that?
630
00:32:56,159 --> 00:33:00,204
Well, you just don't have that "daddy, daddy, daddy" kind of, you know...
631
00:33:00,747 --> 00:33:02,832
Do you have any?
632
00:33:02,867 --> 00:33:04,917
No. Not yet.
633
00:33:04,952 --> 00:33:06,794
No. No.
634
00:33:09,339 --> 00:33:11,633
Oh, Russell...
635
00:33:11,758 --> 00:33:15,595
you have got to promise me...
636
00:33:18,681 --> 00:33:21,809
that you won't let me go to prison.
637
00:33:23,686 --> 00:33:26,189
'Cause I can't go to jail.
638
00:33:27,315 --> 00:33:32,327
I can't eat bad food and wear orange jumpsuits
639
00:33:32,362 --> 00:33:36,658
and eventually let my real hair color grow out because...
640
00:33:38,618 --> 00:33:40,078
Russell...
641
00:33:42,246 --> 00:33:45,333
I'm really quite mousy under this.
642
00:33:45,917 --> 00:33:49,420
And I'm not really sparkly at all and...
643
00:33:50,004 --> 00:33:51,054
Ok.
644
00:33:51,089 --> 00:33:53,216
- Promise.
- I promise.
645
00:33:53,251 --> 00:33:55,260
Yep. I promise.
646
00:33:55,468 --> 00:33:59,973
Because Martha Stewart is the last blonde they are gonna take down
647
00:34:00,014 --> 00:34:03,059
just because she's a successful woman!
648
00:34:03,094 --> 00:34:06,069
You know, fuck them. Fuck them, Ricardo!
649
00:34:06,104 --> 00:34:10,400
Fuck them! Fuck them! I am not going to camp cuntcake.
650
00:34:10,435 --> 00:34:11,526
- No.
- No!
651
00:34:11,567 --> 00:34:14,862
No! No! No! No! No!
652
00:34:19,951 --> 00:34:24,789
Whoo. Damn it. I'm just-I'm really not supposed to...
653
00:34:25,707 --> 00:34:28,626
drink with all this medication, you know? I-
654
00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:31,921
Yeah. Did I tell you I'm an epileptic?
655
00:34:31,956 --> 00:34:32,637
No, you didn't.
656
00:34:32,672 --> 00:34:35,508
Yeah, I'm an epileptic. Yeah.
657
00:34:36,593 --> 00:34:38,803
Whoo. It's the drink, you know?
658
00:34:38,838 --> 00:34:40,555
Yes, it's the drink, yep.
659
00:34:40,597 --> 00:34:41,848
Ok.
660
00:34:44,767 --> 00:34:50,690
When the room is spinning... and I'm thinking about dick...
661
00:34:50,815 --> 00:34:53,359
yeah, 'cause if it's a seizure...
662
00:34:54,110 --> 00:34:59,032
Whoo! And the room is spinning and...
663
00:35:06,664 --> 00:35:08,124
Oh, it's ok.
664
00:35:08,166 --> 00:35:09,500
Oh, dear.
665
00:35:11,920 --> 00:35:13,463
I'm cool.
666
00:35:14,923 --> 00:35:17,342
Yeah. Whoo. Yeah.
667
00:35:17,508 --> 00:35:18,635
Ok.
668
00:35:19,594 --> 00:35:21,060
- Wow.
- Oh, boy.
669
00:35:21,095 --> 00:35:22,513
- Yeah.
- Ok, here we go.
670
00:35:22,548 --> 00:35:23,932
- Yeah.
- Come on. Come on.
671
00:35:23,967 --> 00:35:25,815
Ok, just- good.
672
00:35:25,850 --> 00:35:27,477
- Let me help you.
- Ok, good.
673
00:35:27,512 --> 00:35:28,978
- Ok, here we go.
- Yeah.
674
00:35:31,105 --> 00:35:32,440
Show me your dick.
675
00:35:32,475 --> 00:35:33,650
Oh, dear.
676
00:35:37,695 --> 00:35:39,676
Ok, hold on. Hold on.
677
00:35:39,711 --> 00:35:41,623
Here we go. Oh, boy. Ohh.
678
00:35:41,658 --> 00:35:43,952
Show me your dick. Show me your dick!
679
00:35:43,987 --> 00:35:46,013
Ok, here we go. Hey, hey.
680
00:35:46,048 --> 00:35:48,039
Show me your dick, honey.
681
00:35:53,169 --> 00:35:54,337
There we go.
682
00:35:55,380 --> 00:35:56,714
Party time!
683
00:35:59,133 --> 00:36:01,052
Show me your dick!
684
00:36:03,054 --> 00:36:04,847
Uh, fuck Russell.
685
00:36:04,931 --> 00:36:07,607
I just asked if you've heard from him.
686
00:36:07,642 --> 00:36:10,478
No, I haven't heard from him, and he hasn't heard from me,
687
00:36:10,513 --> 00:36:12,689
and that's a good thing, believe me.
688
00:36:13,314 --> 00:36:15,253
If he hadn't sniffed and landed on mom,
689
00:36:15,288 --> 00:36:17,158
Teddy never would have gotten away.
690
00:36:17,193 --> 00:36:21,447
No, if your mom had met you and Teddy in the park like she said she would,
691
00:36:21,482 --> 00:36:23,449
then Teddy would never have gotten away.
692
00:36:23,484 --> 00:36:25,285
Can't blame Russell for that one.
693
00:36:25,326 --> 00:36:28,127
Honey, the man is a lard ball, ok?
694
00:36:28,162 --> 00:36:32,542
A big, fat, fucked-up, lonely lard ball.
695
00:36:36,921 --> 00:36:40,133
You realize if I don't find Teddy soon I may never find him?
696
00:36:40,174 --> 00:36:43,935
And he's off his meds. That's just so bad.
697
00:36:43,970 --> 00:36:47,432
You have any idea what that might do to him or make him do?
698
00:36:47,849 --> 00:36:48,933
Yeah.
699
00:36:52,437 --> 00:36:56,274
Anyway, I made your mom laugh really hard tonight.
700
00:36:56,316 --> 00:36:57,275
Really?
701
00:36:57,317 --> 00:36:58,157
Yeah.
702
00:36:58,192 --> 00:36:59,075
That's good.
703
00:36:59,110 --> 00:37:01,195
I told her a blow job joke.
704
00:37:01,904 --> 00:37:05,950
My mother, who's dying of cancer, you told her a blow job joke?
705
00:37:05,985 --> 00:37:08,620
Yeah, she loved it. I mean, they do exist, you know.
706
00:37:08,655 --> 00:37:10,705
in sickness and in health.
707
00:37:11,331 --> 00:37:13,256
It's about this 80-year-old woman in a coma
708
00:37:13,291 --> 00:37:17,003
who chokes to death trying to suck her husband's dick.
709
00:37:17,128 --> 00:37:18,755
That doesn't make any sense.
710
00:37:18,796 --> 00:37:22,634
Well, it-he-he's trying to get her to suck his dick because-
711
00:37:22,669 --> 00:37:24,642
it's a funny joke. Trust me.
712
00:37:24,677 --> 00:37:28,514
Ugh. She was probably stoned on pain killers.
713
00:37:28,549 --> 00:37:32,352
No. Well, yeah, she was, but it's a funny joke,
714
00:37:32,387 --> 00:37:34,228
drugs or no drugs.
715
00:37:35,521 --> 00:37:36,981
Whatever.
716
00:37:42,737 --> 00:37:44,364
She was really laughing hard at it.
717
00:37:44,447 --> 00:37:46,783
She was, like, freakin' out, she was laughing so hard.
718
00:37:48,576 --> 00:37:52,413
Must've upped her white cell count by, like, at least a hundred.
719
00:37:52,580 --> 00:37:55,833
Yeah, well, it's a little late for that now, isn't it?
720
00:37:56,584 --> 00:37:59,587
Yeah. I guess.
721
00:38:20,525 --> 00:38:23,361
You have reached your destination.
722
00:38:23,528 --> 00:38:24,779
Who was that?
723
00:38:26,364 --> 00:38:29,701
Oh, my GPS. I put your address in.
724
00:38:30,743 --> 00:38:32,870
Oh, I love those.
725
00:38:32,912 --> 00:38:36,791
I call mine "Elliot. " He's my imaginary friend.
726
00:38:37,417 --> 00:38:38,835
Am I home?
727
00:38:39,043 --> 00:38:41,045
If you gave me the right address.
728
00:38:42,714 --> 00:38:44,132
Yeah.
729
00:38:44,757 --> 00:38:48,386
Yep. I'm home.
730
00:38:49,804 --> 00:38:51,514
You sure you're ok?
731
00:38:51,723 --> 00:38:55,518
God, one fucking Martini.
732
00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:57,729
3 fucking Martini.
733
00:38:57,764 --> 00:38:59,230
Oh, pff!
734
00:39:00,815 --> 00:39:02,907
Oh, it's so unfair, you know...
735
00:39:02,942 --> 00:39:07,405
I just think sometimes I should just drink and get loaded
736
00:39:07,447 --> 00:39:12,869
and have seizures instead of taking all that damn medication.
737
00:39:12,904 --> 00:39:15,830
Trust me. I think it's not a good idea.
738
00:39:15,865 --> 00:39:18,917
Um... nice crib.
739
00:39:22,670 --> 00:39:25,590
Capitalism is my friend.
740
00:39:25,625 --> 00:39:27,800
So... gettin' late.
741
00:39:29,010 --> 00:39:30,143
Would you like me to-
742
00:39:30,178 --> 00:39:32,430
I can walk you to your door.
743
00:39:33,139 --> 00:39:34,953
Are you ok?
744
00:39:34,988 --> 00:39:36,768
God-no!
745
00:39:38,311 --> 00:39:40,904
There's something about a door
746
00:39:40,939 --> 00:39:46,527
and a guy that turns every guy into a 16-year-old.
747
00:39:46,778 --> 00:39:50,949
You know, they've gotta cop a feel or get a kiss.
748
00:39:50,984 --> 00:39:53,868
It's just... genetic.
749
00:39:54,410 --> 00:39:57,545
Oh, I don't know if all men are necessarily like that.
750
00:39:57,580 --> 00:40:02,008
I mean, I think some men take into consideration a woman's feelings
751
00:40:02,043 --> 00:40:06,589
and get to know them a little bit before they become physical. Some men do.
752
00:40:06,624 --> 00:40:09,050
Jesus Christ! Ok?
753
00:40:10,718 --> 00:40:12,220
There!
754
00:40:12,637 --> 00:40:14,973
Good night!
755
00:40:18,851 --> 00:40:23,564
I'd suppose you'd laugh in my face if I told you I felt violated.
756
00:40:23,599 --> 00:40:25,358
Not your face.
757
00:40:53,469 --> 00:40:55,888
This is so not my destination.
758
00:41:04,856 --> 00:41:07,317
So... we're agreed.
759
00:41:07,352 --> 00:41:08,575
We're agreed.
760
00:41:08,610 --> 00:41:12,488
Just to make sure we're hearing the same thing here, what's the agreement?
761
00:41:12,655 --> 00:41:16,075
If ever I think you're not listening or paying attention to me,
762
00:41:16,117 --> 00:41:17,792
I'll tell you right away.
763
00:41:17,827 --> 00:41:20,288
Very good. That way we can deal with it right in the moment
764
00:41:20,323 --> 00:41:22,916
and get to the bottom of it.
765
00:41:23,374 --> 00:41:25,133
So-ahem.
766
00:41:25,168 --> 00:41:26,669
How's your stomach?
767
00:41:27,670 --> 00:41:29,005
What?
768
00:41:29,547 --> 00:41:32,342
See? Right there!
769
00:41:32,675 --> 00:41:34,594
You weren't fucking listening to me!
770
00:41:34,629 --> 00:41:35,894
What the hell is going on?
771
00:41:35,929 --> 00:41:39,140
Art, I didn't hear you, ok? There's a difference.
772
00:41:39,175 --> 00:41:40,815
Sometimes you do mumble.
773
00:41:40,850 --> 00:41:43,109
Oh, great. So now it's my fault.
774
00:41:43,144 --> 00:41:45,980
Ever think you might not always want to be heard?
775
00:41:46,022 --> 00:41:48,650
That is such a shrink question.
776
00:41:49,776 --> 00:41:52,118
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Art.
777
00:41:52,153 --> 00:41:54,030
I never interrupt a doctor in a session.
778
00:41:54,065 --> 00:41:55,406
It's Teddy on the phone.
779
00:41:55,448 --> 00:41:57,367
He's calling collect, and it's a lousy connection.
780
00:41:57,402 --> 00:41:57,825
Oh, my God.
781
00:41:57,867 --> 00:41:59,911
Now you're taking phone calls during my session?
782
00:41:59,946 --> 00:42:01,502
- It's his brother.
- Hello?
783
00:42:01,537 --> 00:42:03,164
- I don't give a shit who it is.
- Hello?
784
00:42:03,199 --> 00:42:04,749
Teddy? Hello?
785
00:42:05,458 --> 00:42:08,127
Teddy. Teddy, can you speak up? I can't hear you.
786
00:42:08,162 --> 00:42:09,761
Jesus, man. Can you hear anybody?
787
00:42:09,796 --> 00:42:13,591
Shh. Ted-Teddy, just calm down, ok? Take a deep breath.
788
00:42:13,626 --> 00:42:17,011
300 fucking dollars an hour. Unbelievable!
789
00:42:17,136 --> 00:42:18,561
You're in Tijuana?
790
00:42:18,596 --> 00:42:20,688
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mexico.
791
00:42:20,723 --> 00:42:25,019
Land that I see. Home of the depraved. There's a...
792
00:42:26,479 --> 00:42:31,150
funny-smelling, uh... dark meat here.
793
00:42:31,234 --> 00:42:33,945
And a lot of vegetables. I don't know the names.
794
00:42:33,980 --> 00:42:36,656
I like the signs. There's a lot of cool signs.
795
00:42:36,906 --> 00:42:38,706
Where are you in Tijuana?
796
00:42:38,741 --> 00:42:44,080
There's a man, a man at a taco stand, and he keeps gettin' smaller and smaller.
797
00:42:44,372 --> 00:42:46,381
But he's not a complete miniature.
798
00:42:46,416 --> 00:42:49,544
Ok, Ted, do you need cash? I can send you cash if you need it.
799
00:42:49,579 --> 00:42:52,272
Are you eating? Where are you sleeping?
800
00:42:52,307 --> 00:42:54,966
I crashed at Jesus' place last night.
801
00:42:55,758 --> 00:42:59,095
Mother Teresa was there, too. She's sweet, too.
802
00:42:59,130 --> 00:43:02,015
She's missing her eyes, too, but...
803
00:43:02,050 --> 00:43:03,933
Jesus is...
804
00:43:04,642 --> 00:43:09,689
shit. He's... he's like 100 feet tall or something.
805
00:43:10,356 --> 00:43:14,569
But he's a really nice guy, and he's just really tall.
806
00:43:14,604 --> 00:43:17,547
All right, Ted. Where are you right now?
807
00:43:17,582 --> 00:43:20,491
I'm just, uh... just inside the border.
808
00:43:21,159 --> 00:43:24,245
The guys at Woodburn said I could get drugs in Mexico.
809
00:43:24,280 --> 00:43:28,172
Teddy, no! No! Do not buy meds in Mexico, Teddy.
810
00:43:28,207 --> 00:43:31,044
I'm just gonna get that drug that mother said I wouldn't take
811
00:43:31,079 --> 00:43:33,963
'cause it might kill me if I reacted bad.
812
00:43:34,213 --> 00:43:35,513
Some such shit.
813
00:43:35,548 --> 00:43:38,635
Teddy, do not buy Clozaril in Mexico!
814
00:43:38,927 --> 00:43:41,137
Yeah, yeah, yeah! Clozaril!
815
00:43:41,179 --> 00:43:43,354
That's it! I decided...
816
00:43:43,389 --> 00:43:47,435
I'm not gonna react when I take it, that way I won't ice, ice, baby.
817
00:43:47,470 --> 00:43:51,230
Teddy, I can be there with your meds in 3 hours, ok?
818
00:43:51,265 --> 00:43:52,822
Where are you right now?
819
00:43:52,857 --> 00:43:56,569
No, no. Don't sweat it. I'll just-I'll just get the Clozaril right here.
820
00:43:56,611 --> 00:43:58,286
Teddy, no!
821
00:43:58,321 --> 00:44:01,866
Teddy, where are you right this second? What's the address?
822
00:44:02,200 --> 00:44:05,745
Uh... some little...
823
00:44:06,287 --> 00:44:08,081
crummy pharmacy, uh...
824
00:44:08,116 --> 00:44:09,624
A pharmacy?
825
00:44:10,166 --> 00:44:14,212
Aguila Purpura. It's a purple eagle or some such shit.
826
00:44:14,247 --> 00:44:16,346
Aguila Purpura? What is that?
827
00:44:16,381 --> 00:44:20,635
I'm just gonna take the Clozaril, and if I don't react, I'm gonna come home.
828
00:44:20,677 --> 00:44:24,347
- And if... it doesn't work-
- Teddy, no!
829
00:44:24,806 --> 00:44:26,474
Teddy! Te-
830
00:44:42,115 --> 00:44:44,701
I hate leaving you like this. I hate it.
831
00:44:44,784 --> 00:44:46,834
You have to go. I know.
832
00:44:46,869 --> 00:44:49,872
And this is not my old shit of putting patients before you.
833
00:44:49,907 --> 00:44:51,203
You know that, right?
834
00:44:51,238 --> 00:44:52,807
Well, he's your brother.
835
00:44:52,842 --> 00:44:54,377
Yeah. He's my brother.
836
00:44:54,961 --> 00:44:56,219
Thank you.
837
00:44:56,254 --> 00:45:00,925
And... you know, I just want you to know that I love you
838
00:45:00,967 --> 00:45:02,850
and when you come back from New Jersey,
839
00:45:02,885 --> 00:45:05,972
which I really, really, really hope that you do,
840
00:45:06,014 --> 00:45:08,815
I want things to be different, you know? On my end.
841
00:45:08,850 --> 00:45:14,147
I plan on seeing less patients and maybe having a group and just, you know...
842
00:45:14,355 --> 00:45:16,274
being much more available.
843
00:45:17,025 --> 00:45:18,985
Ok. Great.
844
00:45:19,235 --> 00:45:20,570
Ok.
845
00:46:25,718 --> 00:46:28,304
Well, well, well. Hello, mother.
846
00:46:28,346 --> 00:46:30,682
What are you doing up in the middle of the afternoon?
847
00:46:31,057 --> 00:46:32,308
Hmm?
848
00:46:32,976 --> 00:46:35,270
What's the matter, dear, vodka got your tongue?
849
00:46:35,305 --> 00:46:37,528
When did you become so cruel?
850
00:46:37,563 --> 00:46:39,857
I'm sor- I'm- when did you become such a drunk?
851
00:46:39,892 --> 00:46:42,116
I mean, I know you love a good Martini or 9,
852
00:46:42,151 --> 00:46:44,696
but maintenance drinking in the middle of the day?
853
00:46:44,731 --> 00:46:45,995
You haven't done that since dad left you
854
00:46:46,030 --> 00:46:48,950
for his little 40-year-old kama sutra instructor.
855
00:46:48,985 --> 00:46:50,458
Cruel and hateful.
856
00:46:50,493 --> 00:46:52,627
And self-centered and mean.
857
00:46:52,662 --> 00:46:55,331
Really? Well, you know what they say, mother.
858
00:46:55,366 --> 00:46:56,708
When we list the faults of others,
859
00:46:56,749 --> 00:46:59,335
we're actually talking about ourselves, aren't we?
860
00:46:59,669 --> 00:47:01,427
Hey, mom. Mommy?
861
00:47:01,462 --> 00:47:03,715
Don't you wanna know why I'm putting lunch meat and bottled water
862
00:47:03,750 --> 00:47:05,883
into my suitcase in the middle of the day?
863
00:47:06,759 --> 00:47:10,520
You guessed it, mom. I'm off to beautiful Tijuana, Mexico,
864
00:47:10,555 --> 00:47:15,101
where I win the big grand prize of searching for your schizophrenic son.
865
00:47:15,136 --> 00:47:16,025
That's right!
866
00:47:16,060 --> 00:47:20,023
Little Teddy Huffstodt, the wild and crazy son of Isabelle and Ben Huffstodt-
867
00:47:20,058 --> 00:47:20,815
Stop it!
868
00:47:20,857 --> 00:47:24,652
...has fled the country! He's gone, mom! He left.
869
00:47:24,687 --> 00:47:27,036
You know why? Hmm? Hmm?
870
00:47:27,071 --> 00:47:29,866
Because one more time- one more time,
871
00:47:29,901 --> 00:47:31,499
you were too busy to go see him.
872
00:47:31,534 --> 00:47:34,961
I mean, hey, ma, what was more important this time, hmm?
873
00:47:34,996 --> 00:47:37,582
Oh, wait. No, I remember. It was sleeping with my best friend.
874
00:47:37,617 --> 00:47:39,455
Well, first things first, huh?
875
00:47:39,490 --> 00:47:41,259
You are frightening me, Craig.
876
00:47:41,294 --> 00:47:43,254
Oh, really? What doesn't frighten you?
877
00:47:43,296 --> 00:47:45,298
What doesn't frighten you, mom, huh?
878
00:47:45,333 --> 00:47:47,265
He begged you. He literally begged you
879
00:47:47,300 --> 00:47:50,053
to participate in any chance he might have of getting better.
880
00:47:50,088 --> 00:47:52,055
But you were too scared to do that, weren't you?
881
00:47:52,090 --> 00:47:53,681
- You know, mom-
- Please!
882
00:47:53,723 --> 00:47:56,935
Mom, Beth's mother is in there dying.
883
00:47:56,976 --> 00:47:58,359
Literally, she's facing death,
884
00:47:58,394 --> 00:48:01,689
and she has more courage and more acceptance in her little finger-
885
00:48:01,724 --> 00:48:04,984
in her little finger- than I've seen from you in years, decades.
886
00:48:05,019 --> 00:48:06,486
Decades, maybe.
887
00:48:06,569 --> 00:48:09,746
She's got more understanding and dignity
888
00:48:09,781 --> 00:48:13,159
and more love and respect for me and this family than I have ever-
889
00:48:13,194 --> 00:48:16,037
Oh, of course she's accepting of everything.
890
00:48:16,072 --> 00:48:18,338
Isn't that what comes with dying?
891
00:48:18,373 --> 00:48:21,960
Yeah, there's some hormone or there's pheromone or some brain thing that kicks in,
892
00:48:21,995 --> 00:48:24,587
and all of a sudden, everything makes sense.
893
00:48:25,129 --> 00:48:27,006
Everything, my dear.
894
00:48:28,633 --> 00:48:31,803
Sick children. Dying friends.
895
00:48:31,838 --> 00:48:33,972
Unfaithful husbands.
896
00:48:34,555 --> 00:48:36,933
Suddenly, everyone is only coming from love
897
00:48:36,975 --> 00:48:40,603
no matter how hateful they have been in their lives.
898
00:48:40,687 --> 00:48:44,691
You drown your child or you put a bullet through your own head,
899
00:48:44,726 --> 00:48:47,860
and it's nothing more than a cry for help.
900
00:48:48,278 --> 00:48:51,176
But you get stuck with the living,
901
00:48:51,211 --> 00:48:54,075
and nothing, nobody makes any sense.
902
00:48:54,450 --> 00:48:57,370
You know what the real tragedy here, my son, is?
903
00:48:58,705 --> 00:49:02,584
You have to die in this house before anybody...
904
00:49:02,625 --> 00:49:06,004
is willing to give you any understanding...
905
00:49:06,087 --> 00:49:08,172
willing to love you.
906
00:49:12,927 --> 00:49:17,015
And it's none of your goddamn business who I sleep with.
907
00:49:18,391 --> 00:49:21,394
Next time maybe you should consider knocking!
908
00:49:24,022 --> 00:49:27,191
I thought I taught you at least that much about life.
909
00:49:36,993 --> 00:49:39,210
Oh, my god, you are so beautiful.
910
00:49:39,245 --> 00:49:42,790
I had no idea how beautiful you would be.
911
00:49:53,426 --> 00:49:56,471
At first the boxes- I thought they were my brain.
912
00:49:56,554 --> 00:49:58,605
Like drawers, closets.
913
00:49:58,640 --> 00:50:03,978
I know, I wasn't... I wasn't exactly sure, but each one would open up,
914
00:50:04,013 --> 00:50:05,855
and a part of me would come out.
915
00:50:07,607 --> 00:50:09,567
Every part of me had its own drawer-
916
00:50:09,609 --> 00:50:11,319
my eyes, my ears.
917
00:50:14,614 --> 00:50:16,908
My toes and my fingers had their own drawers.
918
00:50:22,789 --> 00:50:24,874
Then mother came out of a box,
919
00:50:25,124 --> 00:50:27,252
and Mike the dog came out of a box,
920
00:50:27,669 --> 00:50:30,255
and suddenly everything and everything I ever missed
921
00:50:30,290 --> 00:50:32,048
all had its own drawer.
922
00:50:32,257 --> 00:50:35,635
Then there's this part of the dream where there's this big closet,
923
00:50:36,177 --> 00:50:39,222
but it's really just all the drawers all put all together.
924
00:50:39,257 --> 00:50:42,774
Disculpe. Estoy buscando una medicina.
925
00:50:42,809 --> 00:50:46,813
Es para mi ni�o, pero no me recuerdo como se llama.
926
00:50:48,439 --> 00:50:49,614
...Burst its doors open.
927
00:50:49,649 --> 00:50:51,567
Un momentito. Voy a atender a la se�orita.
928
00:50:51,602 --> 00:50:52,951
Sure, sure, sure.
929
00:50:52,986 --> 00:50:56,447
Quiero un antibiotico, algo asi. Creo que comienza con zeta.
930
00:50:56,482 --> 00:50:58,539
Hey, listen to me.
931
00:50:58,574 --> 00:51:01,077
Don't ever let your heart get so full of things that you care about
932
00:51:01,112 --> 00:51:04,163
and people that you care about that it bursts, ok?
933
00:51:04,205 --> 00:51:05,707
'Cause then you'll be dead like me.
934
00:51:05,742 --> 00:51:08,876
Just-pffft! Gone! Away.
935
00:51:09,586 --> 00:51:10,753
Bam!
936
00:51:15,717 --> 00:51:16,926
Gracias.
937
00:51:17,677 --> 00:51:18,893
Ok, sir, what do you want?
938
00:51:18,928 --> 00:51:22,557
I need a drug. I need a drug. It's for people who hear. It starts with a "Z."
939
00:51:23,057 --> 00:51:24,058
People to hear?
940
00:51:24,100 --> 00:51:27,979
People who hear things that other people don't admit that they hear, ok?
941
00:51:28,014 --> 00:51:30,982
It's called Clos- Clos-
942
00:51:31,232 --> 00:51:33,505
It's called Cloza- it's called Clozaril.
943
00:51:33,540 --> 00:51:35,743
I don't know nothing about that drug.
944
00:51:35,778 --> 00:51:39,115
No, no, no. You're a drugstore. You have drugs here.
945
00:51:39,449 --> 00:51:41,409
That drug that you want, we don't sell here.
946
00:51:41,444 --> 00:51:42,702
No, no, no. Sure, you do!
947
00:51:42,737 --> 00:51:44,078
No, sir.
948
00:51:44,120 --> 00:51:46,212
My brother's a doctor, ok?
949
00:51:46,247 --> 00:51:50,043
My brother's coming here, and he's gonna tell you what it is.
950
00:51:50,078 --> 00:51:51,920
How can I know your brother?
951
00:51:51,961 --> 00:51:54,631
My brother is gonna say, "have you seen the good-looking kid
952
00:51:54,666 --> 00:51:57,008
with the wild, crazy hair?" Ok?
953
00:51:57,050 --> 00:51:58,474
And then you can tell him-
954
00:51:58,509 --> 00:52:01,638
You owe me 20 pesos for the candy bar that you gave to the boy.
955
00:52:01,673 --> 00:52:03,897
No, no, no. I didn't eat it. He ate it.
956
00:52:03,932 --> 00:52:06,726
I'm going to call the police, Mr. Crazy hair.
957
00:52:06,768 --> 00:52:09,520
Hey... fuck you! Fuck you!
958
00:52:09,555 --> 00:52:11,487
Ok. You want it. Ok.
959
00:52:11,522 --> 00:52:14,567
No, no, no, no! No police! Fuck you!
960
00:52:14,609 --> 00:52:16,367
- I didn't hurt him!
- Hold that man!
961
00:52:16,402 --> 00:52:19,405
Crazy hair, never find me. Crazy hair, never find me.
962
00:53:20,049 --> 00:53:23,428
Se�or, por favor, corteme el pelo. Todo.
963
00:53:23,469 --> 00:53:24,929
- All of it?
- Si.
964
00:54:23,029 --> 00:54:24,197
Yow!
965
00:54:24,405 --> 00:54:27,033
Oh... sh... fuck!
966
00:54:31,412 --> 00:54:33,498
I fucking hate cooking.
967
00:54:33,706 --> 00:54:35,124
I hate cooking.
968
00:55:01,943 --> 00:55:03,236
Veggies.
969
00:55:04,404 --> 00:55:05,780
Roughage.
970
00:55:13,413 --> 00:55:15,561
Hey, amigo. Taxi!
971
00:55:15,596 --> 00:55:17,709
Taxi, se�or? Taxi?
972
00:55:17,792 --> 00:55:20,628
Do you know where the nearest drugstore, pharmacy is?
973
00:55:20,663 --> 00:55:21,970
Yeah, yeah, I know.
974
00:55:22,005 --> 00:55:24,716
It's like a purple eagle or something.
975
00:55:37,228 --> 00:55:39,939
Welcome to anything you desire, live.
976
00:55:39,974 --> 00:55:42,115
For street chat, press 1.
977
00:55:42,150 --> 00:55:44,986
For rubber and latex, press 2.
978
00:55:45,021 --> 00:55:47,905
For big tits, press 3.
979
00:55:47,947 --> 00:55:50,366
For strap-ons, press 4,
980
00:55:50,401 --> 00:55:52,785
for squirting, press 5.
981
00:55:53,536 --> 00:55:56,581
Please enter your credit card number or user I.D.
982
00:55:56,616 --> 00:55:58,047
and then press pound.
983
00:55:58,082 --> 00:56:00,376
Oh, squirty. I like a squirty one.
984
00:56:00,752 --> 00:56:02,552
I like a squirty one.
985
00:56:02,587 --> 00:56:05,340
- We're sorry. Your call cannot be...
- Fuck it!
986
00:56:06,007 --> 00:56:07,175
Fuck you.
987
00:56:34,619 --> 00:56:36,788
Please be home. Please be home.
988
00:56:37,914 --> 00:56:40,208
Hey, this is Pepper voicemail. Leave a message.
989
00:56:40,243 --> 00:56:41,966
Yeah! Shit.
990
00:56:42,001 --> 00:56:44,921
Hey, Peppy! Paps. It's Russy Tupp.
991
00:56:44,963 --> 00:56:48,841
What's uppy? It's tuppy. How you doing, darling? I miss you so much.
992
00:56:48,876 --> 00:56:50,677
Um... I really do.
993
00:56:50,718 --> 00:56:55,056
I miss your smile, and I miss your laugh,
994
00:56:55,091 --> 00:56:59,394
and I miss having your finger up my anus.
995
00:56:59,435 --> 00:57:04,315
And I was wondering if there's anything you were doing right now.
996
00:57:04,350 --> 00:57:07,200
Maybe you want to come over, because...
997
00:57:07,235 --> 00:57:13,950
I want to squeeze your brown bottom like bread.
998
00:57:14,242 --> 00:57:16,286
Who's your daddy, who's your daddy, who's your daddy,
999
00:57:16,321 --> 00:57:18,162
who's your daddy, who's your daddy?!
1000
00:57:23,876 --> 00:57:25,253
Pathetic.
1001
00:57:26,588 --> 00:57:28,256
I go-go bed.
1002
00:57:29,841 --> 00:57:31,099
Bed time.
1003
00:57:31,134 --> 00:57:33,052
Night-night. Go to bed.
1004
00:57:34,053 --> 00:57:35,346
Night-night.
1005
00:57:39,559 --> 00:57:40,727
Night-night.
1006
00:57:42,645 --> 00:57:43,861
Ouch!
1007
00:57:43,896 --> 00:57:47,066
Ouch... ouch.
1008
00:57:55,491 --> 00:57:57,285
Please don't be home.
1009
00:57:57,327 --> 00:57:59,913
Please don't be home. I'm begging you, don't be home.
1010
00:57:59,948 --> 00:58:01,998
- Hello?
- Hello!
1011
00:58:02,081 --> 00:58:03,541
Kelly Kinippers?
1012
00:58:03,576 --> 00:58:04,792
Yes?
1013
00:58:05,043 --> 00:58:07,211
Kelly Kinippers? It's Russy!
1014
00:58:07,253 --> 00:58:08,845
- Hey-
- Who?
1015
00:58:08,880 --> 00:58:10,965
Russell Tupper, father of your child?
1016
00:58:11,174 --> 00:58:15,011
All right, all right! I couldn't hear you. Ok?
1017
00:58:15,762 --> 00:58:18,806
So... what're ya up ta?
1018
00:58:18,848 --> 00:58:20,516
'Bout 5'8".
1019
00:58:24,562 --> 00:58:26,501
- That's funny.
- Funny.
1020
00:58:26,536 --> 00:58:28,441
I didn't hear that one.
1021
00:58:28,942 --> 00:58:29,657
Yeah.
1022
00:58:29,692 --> 00:58:35,031
So, um... I'm just here, and I was, um...
1023
00:58:35,323 --> 00:58:37,825
just doing some work and taking a break,
1024
00:58:37,867 --> 00:58:39,584
and then I thought, you know what?
1025
00:58:39,619 --> 00:58:43,581
I'm gonna call Kelly Kinippers and see if she wants to come over.
1026
00:58:43,616 --> 00:58:46,292
I had a fall, you know, a terrible fall.
1027
00:58:46,334 --> 00:58:49,629
You told me you had a nasty fall last week.
1028
00:58:49,664 --> 00:58:51,339
You're drunk, right?
1029
00:58:51,374 --> 00:58:53,389
I- I did?
1030
00:58:53,424 --> 00:58:55,176
- Really?
- Yeah.
1031
00:58:55,218 --> 00:58:59,604
No. No, no. Couple glasses of wine maybe, but, um...
1032
00:58:59,639 --> 00:59:05,311
the important thing is I... really right now... want to see you.
1033
00:59:05,346 --> 00:59:10,984
So... I'm hoping that you also would like to come over and see me
1034
00:59:11,019 --> 00:59:13,034
and chat and visit and, um...
1035
00:59:13,069 --> 00:59:16,489
so, if you're not too busy, that is, doing something else.
1036
00:59:16,524 --> 00:59:19,325
So my question is, um...
1037
00:59:20,410 --> 00:59:21,869
are you busy?
1038
00:59:21,911 --> 00:59:23,705
Absolutely not.
1039
00:59:23,788 --> 00:59:26,124
I'm too busy vomiting...
1040
00:59:26,159 --> 00:59:27,423
All the time.
1041
00:59:27,458 --> 00:59:31,045
Morning, noon, night. I can't stop.
1042
00:59:31,087 --> 00:59:33,464
Is that hysterical, or what?
1043
00:59:35,216 --> 00:59:39,053
The doctor told me that it would stop in the second trimester.
1044
00:59:39,088 --> 00:59:42,849
That's... 6 months, right?
1045
00:59:43,516 --> 00:59:45,518
That's right. Give or take.
1046
00:59:45,560 --> 00:59:49,314
And I'm just... thrilled to still be pregnant.
1047
00:59:51,107 --> 00:59:54,527
'Cause it was... touch and go there for a while.
1048
00:59:54,819 --> 00:59:58,323
But that's how I got knocked up, right?
1049
00:59:58,865 --> 01:00:01,326
Touch... and go?
1050
01:00:16,299 --> 01:00:20,720
So... you got any juice or anything?
1051
01:00:21,179 --> 01:00:23,688
Cranberry fridge. In the-
1052
01:00:23,723 --> 01:00:27,852
Oh. Good! Cranberry's good for the kidneys.
1053
01:00:27,887 --> 01:00:29,444
Helps prevent stones...
1054
01:00:29,479 --> 01:00:32,774
which are supposed to be as painful as childbirth.
1055
01:00:32,809 --> 01:00:35,408
Hey, do you think cranberry juice
1056
01:00:35,443 --> 01:00:40,406
will make my vagina trap open wide and let fellini just fall-
1057
01:00:43,785 --> 01:00:46,329
Oh! Don't hurt my baby!
1058
01:00:46,496 --> 01:00:48,373
I mean, are you ok?
1059
01:00:48,414 --> 01:00:49,749
Oh, dear!
1060
01:00:49,916 --> 01:00:52,210
It's the meaty mac. It's slippery.
1061
01:00:54,671 --> 01:00:56,130
Here you go.
1062
01:00:56,589 --> 01:00:57,924
I'll help you up.
1063
01:01:02,428 --> 01:01:04,138
I slipped.
1064
01:01:04,347 --> 01:01:07,767
I crushed you. I'm so sorry. I crushed you.
1065
01:01:08,059 --> 01:01:11,229
Oh, gosh, what the hell is this?
1066
01:01:11,264 --> 01:01:13,022
Oh, it's meaty mac.
1067
01:01:13,064 --> 01:01:15,615
It's delicious, but it's treacherous.
1068
01:01:15,650 --> 01:01:19,487
I could throw up in here and no one would even know.
1069
01:01:19,570 --> 01:01:21,447
Oh, god!
1070
01:01:22,365 --> 01:01:26,000
I just want you to know that I'm really glad that you're having this baby.
1071
01:01:26,035 --> 01:01:30,957
And at first, I know you wanted to get rid of it, and I wanted to get rid of it, too.
1072
01:01:30,992 --> 01:01:35,086
And then I didn't want you to, and now I'm really glad you're keeping it.
1073
01:01:35,121 --> 01:01:37,630
And I think you're going to be a wonderful mother.
1074
01:01:38,214 --> 01:01:39,298
You do?
1075
01:01:39,333 --> 01:01:40,348
Absolutely.
1076
01:01:40,383 --> 01:01:44,032
And I want you to know 100% that I'm going to be there for you
1077
01:01:44,067 --> 01:01:47,682
and anything you want, anything at all... you shall have it.
1078
01:01:47,717 --> 01:01:49,726
All you have to do is ask.
1079
01:01:50,310 --> 01:01:51,519
Ok?
1080
01:01:52,854 --> 01:01:54,355
Ok.
1081
01:01:57,442 --> 01:02:00,570
Thanks... I guess.
1082
01:02:02,322 --> 01:02:05,241
Thanks. I guess.
1083
01:02:05,575 --> 01:02:07,535
Wanna stay over?
1084
01:02:08,995 --> 01:02:11,080
- Sure!
- Great.
1085
01:02:12,248 --> 01:02:14,667
But I think I'm gonna go home.
1086
01:02:15,084 --> 01:02:17,385
Aw... come on.
1087
01:02:17,420 --> 01:02:20,423
No. You don't want me to stay, really.
1088
01:02:20,458 --> 01:02:23,384
Oh! Sure... sure, I do.
1089
01:02:23,419 --> 01:02:24,601
Well, now.
1090
01:02:24,636 --> 01:02:26,429
But not tomorrow morning.
1091
01:02:26,679 --> 01:02:29,147
I'm your 4 a. m. girl, you know?
1092
01:02:29,182 --> 01:02:32,435
Tick tock, last call. "Shit, she's pretty. "
1093
01:02:32,518 --> 01:02:34,646
That is so not true.
1094
01:02:35,188 --> 01:02:37,607
You have low self-esteem.
1095
01:02:39,233 --> 01:02:42,111
You're cuddly and warm and soft.
1096
01:02:43,237 --> 01:02:45,240
So's a dog.
1097
01:02:45,573 --> 01:02:47,242
I like doggies.
1098
01:02:47,277 --> 01:02:48,493
Yeah?
1099
01:02:49,118 --> 01:02:51,412
Well, see spot run.
1100
01:02:52,664 --> 01:02:54,832
I'm gonna clean this up before I go.
1101
01:02:56,542 --> 01:02:58,294
Oh, here, let me help you.
1102
01:02:59,379 --> 01:03:00,380
Here.
1103
01:03:01,631 --> 01:03:02,757
Ok.
1104
01:03:03,216 --> 01:03:05,767
And you... go, sit
1105
01:03:05,802 --> 01:03:09,430
because I know that your bones are really throbbing.
1106
01:03:09,465 --> 01:03:12,100
I think I maybe have some real injuries.
1107
01:03:12,308 --> 01:03:17,105
Russell... it was really sweet of you to ask me to stay.
1108
01:03:17,146 --> 01:03:19,607
Oh, that's ok, Kelly Kinippers. Sure thing.
1109
01:03:19,649 --> 01:03:21,401
Really, really sweet.
1110
01:03:21,436 --> 01:03:22,485
Oh, gee.
1111
01:03:23,569 --> 01:03:24,696
Oh, god.
1112
01:03:28,199 --> 01:03:31,369
It's ok! I made it to the sink.
1113
01:03:31,404 --> 01:03:32,829
Good girl.
1114
01:03:51,180 --> 01:03:52,223
Craig!
1115
01:03:57,729 --> 01:03:58,855
Teddy?
1116
01:03:59,397 --> 01:04:01,524
What the fuck did you do to your head?
1117
01:04:01,733 --> 01:04:02,900
Teddy...
1118
01:04:06,029 --> 01:04:07,363
Oh, god.
1119
01:04:09,490 --> 01:04:10,658
- Are you ok?
- Yeah.
1120
01:04:10,693 --> 01:04:11,791
- Are you sure?
- Yeah.
1121
01:04:11,826 --> 01:04:15,288
Please don't ever, ever, ever do this again, please?
1122
01:04:15,330 --> 01:04:17,463
I won't. I promise. I look like a psycho.
1123
01:04:17,498 --> 01:04:21,836
No. Not your head. Not your hair. Don't ever run away again, ok?
1124
01:04:21,871 --> 01:04:23,087
Ok.
1125
01:04:23,588 --> 01:04:25,298
Oh, my g- did you take any Clozaril?
1126
01:04:25,333 --> 01:04:27,508
No. Fucking locked away.
1127
01:04:27,550 --> 01:04:29,844
Thank god. Thank god. You take anything else?
1128
01:04:29,886 --> 01:04:33,744
No. Stop poking at me. I didn't take anything 'cause that motherfucker-
1129
01:04:33,779 --> 01:04:37,602
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Easy, easy, easy. Ok. Ok.
1130
01:04:37,685 --> 01:04:39,562
Just relax. Let me give you a shot, all right?
1131
01:04:39,597 --> 01:04:42,113
Oh, no. Not with a needle, ok?
1132
01:04:42,148 --> 01:04:44,567
Teddy, you've had this before. It's an antidelusional.
1133
01:04:44,609 --> 01:04:46,819
It helps you get your syntax back.
1134
01:04:46,854 --> 01:04:48,192
Oh, goody.
1135
01:04:48,227 --> 01:04:49,530
Thank you.
1136
01:04:50,949 --> 01:04:52,075
Ok.
1137
01:04:52,742 --> 01:04:54,535
No big deal, all right?
1138
01:04:55,328 --> 01:04:57,747
All right, here we go. Little prick.
1139
01:04:58,831 --> 01:05:00,625
Ok. Ok.
1140
01:05:03,378 --> 01:05:04,796
Very good.
1141
01:05:06,047 --> 01:05:07,465
Thank god.
1142
01:05:07,674 --> 01:05:10,760
All right. Please, let's get outta here. Ok?
1143
01:05:10,795 --> 01:05:11,928
We can walk to the border from here.
1144
01:05:11,970 --> 01:05:13,311
No, I can't leave.
1145
01:05:13,346 --> 01:05:15,139
Teddy, please don't fucking start with me, please.
1146
01:05:15,174 --> 01:05:16,950
You cannot stay in Mexico, ok?
1147
01:05:16,985 --> 01:05:18,691
No, I mean I can't leave, ok?
1148
01:05:18,726 --> 01:05:20,485
I parked your car on the other side of the border,
1149
01:05:20,520 --> 01:05:22,897
and when I tried to go back across, they wouldn't let me,
1150
01:05:22,932 --> 01:05:25,275
'cause I didn't have any proper identification or some shit.
1151
01:05:25,310 --> 01:05:26,731
You don't have I.D.?
1152
01:05:26,766 --> 01:05:28,272
I don't have I.D.
1153
01:05:28,307 --> 01:05:29,779
Nothing at all?
1154
01:05:30,530 --> 01:05:32,865
I wrote my name in my underpants.
1155
01:05:33,157 --> 01:05:35,034
You think they'll take that?
1156
01:05:41,666 --> 01:05:43,376
Good morning. Russell Tupper's office.
1157
01:05:43,418 --> 01:05:44,502
Hi, Maggie.
1158
01:05:44,537 --> 01:05:45,552
Yeah?
1159
01:05:45,587 --> 01:05:48,840
Hi, it's Dr. Huffstodt, you know, Craig. Huff.
1160
01:05:48,875 --> 01:05:49,882
Oh, good morning.
1161
01:05:49,924 --> 01:05:50,932
Is he in?
1162
01:05:50,967 --> 01:05:55,054
Ha. No... it's still pretty early in the morning for him.
1163
01:05:55,346 --> 01:05:56,688
Right. Of course it is.
1164
01:05:56,723 --> 01:05:59,392
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. I was wrong. He's here. Hold on.
1165
01:06:00,643 --> 01:06:02,312
You see this bullshit?
1166
01:06:02,437 --> 01:06:03,896
Page one?
1167
01:06:03,938 --> 01:06:06,482
They're already burning the poor thing at the stake.
1168
01:06:06,524 --> 01:06:07,942
To a crisp.
1169
01:06:08,192 --> 01:06:09,777
Can I have some coffee, please?
1170
01:06:09,812 --> 01:06:11,362
Dr. Huffstodt's on line one.
1171
01:06:14,490 --> 01:06:15,707
Dr. Huffstodt?
1172
01:06:15,742 --> 01:06:19,078
Yep. He's on line one. Are you gonna take it?
1173
01:06:19,113 --> 01:06:20,288
Um...
1174
01:06:21,706 --> 01:06:23,917
I think-yeah. I think so.
1175
01:06:25,251 --> 01:06:26,544
I believe so.
1176
01:06:28,129 --> 01:06:29,881
He'll be right there, Dr. Huffstodt.
1177
01:06:29,916 --> 01:06:31,674
Thank you. Thank you very much.
1178
01:06:51,986 --> 01:06:54,489
Yes, hello there. Good morning.
1179
01:06:56,115 --> 01:06:57,325
Hello?
1180
01:06:58,534 --> 01:06:59,827
Huff!
1181
01:07:00,370 --> 01:07:01,496
Hi.
1182
01:07:02,413 --> 01:07:05,583
Listen, I'm really sorry to bother you. I know we're not exactly...
1183
01:07:05,667 --> 01:07:07,543
we're kind of staying out of each other's way these days.
1184
01:07:07,578 --> 01:07:09,754
But I really need your help. I got a big problem.
1185
01:07:10,046 --> 01:07:11,012
Shoot.
1186
01:07:11,047 --> 01:07:13,223
Yeah, so I'm in Tijuana,
1187
01:07:13,258 --> 01:07:17,011
because that's where Teddy ran away, and I'm with him. He's ok.
1188
01:07:17,046 --> 01:07:19,145
But actually, he's not that ok.
1189
01:07:19,180 --> 01:07:21,898
He hasn't taken his meds in like a week.
1190
01:07:21,933 --> 01:07:25,436
So I gotta get him back to the states, and the problem is he has no I.D. on him.
1191
01:07:25,471 --> 01:07:26,486
No I.D. whatsoever.
1192
01:07:26,521 --> 01:07:28,001
Tell him I have my underpants.
1193
01:07:28,036 --> 01:07:29,447
Please, please just relax, ok?
1194
01:07:29,482 --> 01:07:32,860
So anyway, I just spent like an hour and a half at the border,
1195
01:07:32,895 --> 01:07:36,819
and I was begging and pleading, explaining the medical situation,
1196
01:07:36,854 --> 01:07:40,743
but those fuckers will not let him through under any circumstances.
1197
01:07:40,785 --> 01:07:44,205
I must have I.D., so... here's what I need, ok?
1198
01:07:44,706 --> 01:07:46,839
I need a driver's license for him.
1199
01:07:46,874 --> 01:07:49,300
Somehow I need you to get a driver's license for him,
1200
01:07:49,335 --> 01:07:53,006
and I need you to drive it down here like right away to Tijuana, like today.
1201
01:07:53,041 --> 01:07:54,340
Can you do that?
1202
01:07:54,591 --> 01:07:56,676
- No problem.
- No problem?
1203
01:07:56,718 --> 01:07:57,725
No problem.
1204
01:07:57,760 --> 01:07:59,721
Really? You can just- you can just do that?
1205
01:07:59,756 --> 01:08:01,180
It's not a problem.
1206
01:08:01,347 --> 01:08:04,232
Oh, god, thank you so much. Thank you.
1207
01:08:04,267 --> 01:08:06,019
Where should I meet you. Where are you staying?
1208
01:08:06,352 --> 01:08:10,148
Teddy-Teddy, please don't wander away, please? Ok?
1209
01:08:10,183 --> 01:08:11,155
Russ is gonna help us.
1210
01:08:11,190 --> 01:08:14,444
You're gonna be back in Woodburn before you know it, ok?
1211
01:08:14,485 --> 01:08:16,578
Woodburn? Who said anything about Woodburn?
1212
01:08:16,613 --> 01:08:18,615
- I don't wanna go back to Woodburn.
- I cant' hear you.
1213
01:08:18,656 --> 01:08:20,498
Where should I meet you? Where are you staying?
1214
01:08:20,533 --> 01:08:23,786
You know, we're not anywhere. We're not staying anywhere yet.
1215
01:08:23,828 --> 01:08:27,624
I'll be, uh... there's a Hotel Nelson right in the middle of town.
1216
01:08:27,659 --> 01:08:29,417
I'll be at the Hotel Nelson.
1217
01:08:29,459 --> 01:08:30,835
Hotel Nelson?
1218
01:08:30,877 --> 01:08:33,052
Why don't I get us a couple of rooms at the Del?
1219
01:08:33,087 --> 01:08:37,634
Because I can't go to the fucking Del, Russell, because I'm in fucking Mexico!
1220
01:08:37,669 --> 01:08:38,801
Wh-
1221
01:08:40,345 --> 01:08:42,312
I'm really sorry. I apologize.
1222
01:08:42,347 --> 01:08:47,685
I'm sorry to snap. I'm just a little... out of my mind. Ok?
1223
01:08:47,720 --> 01:08:53,024
Ok. So I will meet you at this Hotel Nelson at... 9:00.
1224
01:08:53,059 --> 01:08:55,026
I really appreciate it. Thank you very much.
1225
01:08:55,068 --> 01:08:58,446
Um... and... and Huff...
1226
01:08:58,481 --> 01:08:59,781
Yeah?
1227
01:09:01,616 --> 01:09:02,624
9:00.
1228
01:09:02,659 --> 01:09:03,910
Ok. Thank you.
1229
01:09:03,945 --> 01:09:05,036
9:00 p. m.
1230
01:09:06,579 --> 01:09:07,914
Maggie!
1231
01:09:08,164 --> 01:09:10,416
All right, Ted. Good news. We're-
1232
01:09:11,626 --> 01:09:12,835
Teddy?
1233
01:09:16,506 --> 01:09:17,715
Teddy?!
1234
01:09:19,092 --> 01:09:20,301
Ted?
1235
01:09:24,555 --> 01:09:25,807
Teddy!
1236
01:09:43,283 --> 01:09:47,662
If you're a Jehovah's witness, go away. I'm already-
1237
01:09:48,079 --> 01:09:49,664
I'm already saved.
1238
01:09:49,706 --> 01:09:53,960
Um, Izzy? Izzy, it's Russell, dear, and I very much need to speak with you.
1239
01:09:53,995 --> 01:09:55,169
Russell?
1240
01:09:56,004 --> 01:09:57,505
Just a moment!
1241
01:10:02,844 --> 01:10:06,264
I, uh... I just got out of the bath.
1242
01:10:10,518 --> 01:10:15,481
I, uh, I like to stay fresh in the afternoon. Don't you?
1243
01:10:16,107 --> 01:10:17,609
Yes, I do.
1244
01:10:22,280 --> 01:10:23,698
Oh, my god.
1245
01:10:28,620 --> 01:10:32,624
A gentleman caller in the middle of the day. How lovely.
1246
01:10:32,832 --> 01:10:34,417
How considerate.
1247
01:10:35,001 --> 01:10:36,628
How unexpected.
1248
01:10:41,049 --> 01:10:42,175
May I?
1249
01:10:43,593 --> 01:10:45,136
Did anybody see you?
1250
01:10:45,178 --> 01:10:47,138
No, I don't- I don't think so.
1251
01:10:53,561 --> 01:10:55,647
You look worse than I do.
1252
01:10:55,897 --> 01:10:57,231
I do.
1253
01:10:57,273 --> 01:10:59,108
We both look like death.
1254
01:10:59,143 --> 01:11:00,276
I feel like death.
1255
01:11:00,311 --> 01:11:02,028
I am death.
1256
01:11:02,237 --> 01:11:04,614
You should see Beth's mother- that's death.
1257
01:11:04,649 --> 01:11:06,956
Please... don't remind me of that poor woman.
1258
01:11:06,991 --> 01:11:11,621
Oh, god. What is happening to the world? Death is everywhere, Russell-
1259
01:11:11,656 --> 01:11:14,266
Africa, Iraq... Westwood.
1260
01:11:14,301 --> 01:11:16,876
Can I fix you a drink?
1261
01:11:21,297 --> 01:11:22,590
I better not.
1262
01:11:23,424 --> 01:11:25,885
All I ever wanted was happiness.
1263
01:11:26,052 --> 01:11:31,099
Why is something that we are supposed to strive for so elusive, huh?
1264
01:11:31,140 --> 01:11:33,149
I don't get it. It's so cruel.
1265
01:11:33,184 --> 01:11:34,859
Maybe you should get out of the house, dear.
1266
01:11:34,894 --> 01:11:37,834
You know, have a little walk, maybe some fresh air?
1267
01:11:37,869 --> 01:11:40,775
Oh, well, it certainly didn't work for you, did it?
1268
01:11:42,110 --> 01:11:45,822
Well, maybe you're right. You know, maybe I should go on a trip.
1269
01:11:45,857 --> 01:11:47,455
It might be just the thing.
1270
01:11:47,490 --> 01:11:50,910
Maybe I should go to the- ooh, the continent, hmm?
1271
01:11:50,945 --> 01:11:53,847
Ben and I used to vacation in Monaco.
1272
01:11:53,882 --> 01:11:56,714
But now that Rainier's gone, who cares?
1273
01:11:56,749 --> 01:11:59,669
You know, one of those- one of those drunk little princesses
1274
01:11:59,704 --> 01:12:02,714
would probably just run me off the road. You know?
1275
01:12:02,749 --> 01:12:05,008
Oh. Poor Grace.
1276
01:12:05,258 --> 01:12:07,016
Ohh. Golly.
1277
01:12:07,051 --> 01:12:10,805
I really miss the monarchy. Don't you, Russell?
1278
01:12:11,764 --> 01:12:13,141
Now, Izzy...
1279
01:12:14,976 --> 01:12:18,771
I know this might sound a little bit odd...
1280
01:12:19,856 --> 01:12:23,318
coming from me, but how long have you been drinking?
1281
01:12:23,353 --> 01:12:24,409
Decades.
1282
01:12:24,444 --> 01:12:28,615
No, no, no. I'm talking about... this little bender in particular.
1283
01:12:28,781 --> 01:12:31,701
Bender? I'm not on a bender.
1284
01:12:31,736 --> 01:12:32,702
Ok.
1285
01:12:32,744 --> 01:12:36,497
Alcoholics go on benders, Russell.
1286
01:12:36,539 --> 01:12:38,166
I'm just drinking.
1287
01:12:38,750 --> 01:12:42,545
And-and lamenting the passing of princess Grace
1288
01:12:42,580 --> 01:12:44,460
and the loss of the monarchy?
1289
01:12:44,495 --> 01:12:46,306
Not that I don't empathize.
1290
01:12:46,341 --> 01:12:48,051
I miss them, too, dear. I really do.
1291
01:12:48,086 --> 01:12:49,886
Do you, darling?
1292
01:12:51,971 --> 01:12:55,475
If you've come for a little love in the afternoon...
1293
01:12:57,101 --> 01:13:00,688
I'm afraid I'm just not up to it. You understand, don't you?
1294
01:13:00,723 --> 01:13:03,107
Of course I do. Rain check, though, perhaps?
1295
01:13:03,142 --> 01:13:04,692
Oh, of course.
1296
01:13:05,818 --> 01:13:12,116
In the interim, I was wondering if you might be in the mood to do Huff a little favor.
1297
01:13:12,951 --> 01:13:16,955
I need a photograph of Teddy for a driver's license.
1298
01:13:16,990 --> 01:13:19,120
He needs one to get home.
1299
01:13:19,155 --> 01:13:21,216
Huff-Huff's found him?
1300
01:13:21,251 --> 01:13:23,419
- He found my baby?
- Yes.
1301
01:13:23,454 --> 01:13:24,921
And he's fine.
1302
01:13:25,964 --> 01:13:26,846
He's fine.
1303
01:13:26,881 --> 01:13:29,717
But he doesn't have a driver's license, and he needs one.
1304
01:13:29,752 --> 01:13:32,178
Well, he certainly didn't need one to get there.
1305
01:13:32,220 --> 01:13:34,847
Homeland security, or something like that.
1306
01:13:34,889 --> 01:13:39,477
Well, that's ridiculous. Who's gonna fly a jet into a taco stand?
1307
01:13:39,519 --> 01:13:41,792
Now, I'm- I'll go find it.
1308
01:13:41,827 --> 01:13:44,065
I think I have one right here.
1309
01:13:46,859 --> 01:13:48,570
One minute.
1310
01:13:50,363 --> 01:13:51,864
Oh, yeah.
1311
01:13:56,160 --> 01:13:58,246
Oh, there should be something...
1312
01:13:59,414 --> 01:14:02,834
soft and lovely in here.
1313
01:14:10,466 --> 01:14:13,595
Oh, golly. Where'd the youth fly?
1314
01:14:13,928 --> 01:14:16,437
Well, I still feel young and gay.
1315
01:14:16,472 --> 01:14:20,518
I certainly don't feel my age. Echh. When did this happen?
1316
01:14:21,269 --> 01:14:22,812
This is perfect.
1317
01:14:23,104 --> 01:14:24,397
This one.
1318
01:14:24,522 --> 01:14:27,609
Would you mind terribly if I cut off Theodore's head, dear?
1319
01:14:27,644 --> 01:14:30,778
No, I'm afraid that happened years ago.
1320
01:14:30,904 --> 01:14:32,739
Thank you so much, dear.
1321
01:14:32,774 --> 01:14:34,574
I do have to dash.
1322
01:14:35,533 --> 01:14:36,534
All right.
1323
01:14:38,536 --> 01:14:39,787
Russell?
1324
01:14:40,246 --> 01:14:40,914
Yes?
1325
01:14:40,955 --> 01:14:44,125
Before you go, could you just... well, I th-
1326
01:14:45,168 --> 01:14:49,505
I just wondered if it would be too much to ask if you could...
1327
01:14:51,132 --> 01:14:52,634
just a kiss...
1328
01:14:53,009 --> 01:14:54,469
on the cheek.
1329
01:14:55,261 --> 01:14:56,763
My cheek.
1330
01:15:19,035 --> 01:15:21,204
You take care of yourself, now.
1331
01:15:21,239 --> 01:15:22,789
Maybe, um...
1332
01:15:24,082 --> 01:15:26,918
maybe a little- a little broth for lunch?
1333
01:15:27,794 --> 01:15:29,170
Ok?
1334
01:16:14,132 --> 01:16:17,719
Oh, fuck me! Ow. God damn it.
1335
01:16:17,844 --> 01:16:19,012
Fuck!
1336
01:16:22,682 --> 01:16:24,726
Ohh. Charming.
1337
01:16:24,767 --> 01:16:26,853
Charming, really.
1338
01:16:32,358 --> 01:16:35,945
Buenas tardes, se�orita.
1339
01:16:36,154 --> 01:16:38,323
Buenas tardes-s-s-s-s.
1340
01:16:40,658 --> 01:16:42,911
Hola. Hola, amigo.
1341
01:16:42,946 --> 01:16:43,543
Hola.
1342
01:16:43,578 --> 01:16:45,684
Um... buenas tardes.
1343
01:16:45,719 --> 01:16:47,790
Noches. Buenas noches.
1344
01:16:47,825 --> 01:16:49,132
Buenas noches.
1345
01:16:49,167 --> 01:16:54,631
Um, I... yo estoy, uh... recherchando...
1346
01:16:54,672 --> 01:16:57,050
amigo mio- Craig Huffstodt-
1347
01:16:59,385 --> 01:17:00,553
How many nights?
1348
01:17:00,595 --> 01:17:04,557
No nights. Um, I'm looking for my friend, Craig Huffstodt.
1349
01:17:04,592 --> 01:17:07,066
He's a guest of the Hotel.
1350
01:17:07,101 --> 01:17:09,479
A crazy american, fucked-up stomach?
1351
01:17:09,514 --> 01:17:11,248
Uh, that's him.
1352
01:17:11,283 --> 01:17:12,947
Upstairs, uh, 205.
1353
01:17:12,982 --> 01:17:15,735
205. Thank you. You think he's up there right now?
1354
01:17:15,770 --> 01:17:16,826
I think so.
1355
01:17:16,861 --> 01:17:18,780
Oh, good. Thank you.
1356
01:18:17,005 --> 01:18:18,527
What?! Jesus.
1357
01:18:18,562 --> 01:18:20,014
Russell Tupper!
1358
01:18:20,049 --> 01:18:22,844
Yeah, come in! The lock is bogus!
1359
01:18:33,771 --> 01:18:35,398
You look like shit.
1360
01:18:35,940 --> 01:18:37,254
How's your neck?
1361
01:18:37,289 --> 01:18:38,568
It hurts like hell.
1362
01:18:38,735 --> 01:18:41,870
And my ribs are sore.
1363
01:18:41,905 --> 01:18:45,575
And there's a little Mexican guy in my spine with an ice pick.
1364
01:18:45,617 --> 01:18:46,958
But it's ok. You know why?
1365
01:18:46,993 --> 01:18:49,621
Because I have- I have medication.
1366
01:18:49,656 --> 01:18:51,890
I have wonderful medication.
1367
01:18:51,925 --> 01:18:54,125
Right. Of course you do.
1368
01:18:59,881 --> 01:19:01,382
Voila.
1369
01:19:01,925 --> 01:19:05,887
One valid California driver's license.
1370
01:19:05,922 --> 01:19:07,263
No way.
1371
01:19:07,305 --> 01:19:09,724
How did you get this so fast?
1372
01:19:10,892 --> 01:19:12,810
Where's Theodore? Where's your brother?
1373
01:19:12,845 --> 01:19:14,562
I have no idea.
1374
01:19:15,104 --> 01:19:18,691
I was with him when I called you, and then he just fucking flew away.
1375
01:19:18,726 --> 01:19:20,867
He just fucking flew away?
1376
01:19:20,902 --> 01:19:23,828
He fucking sprouted wings and flew away, Russell.
1377
01:19:23,863 --> 01:19:26,658
You been drinking that kind of Tequila with the little worm at the bottle?
1378
01:19:26,699 --> 01:19:27,790
Yeah, I wish.
1379
01:19:27,825 --> 01:19:31,371
My stomach hurts so fucking much I can't eat or drink anything.
1380
01:19:31,406 --> 01:19:33,623
You need some food, that's what you need.
1381
01:19:33,665 --> 01:19:37,335
I saw a groovy-looking bean bistro on the corner coming in here.
1382
01:19:37,370 --> 01:19:39,420
Yeah, beans. Fantastic.
1383
01:19:39,796 --> 01:19:42,507
Just what I need is more shit to blow out my ass.
1384
01:19:42,548 --> 01:19:44,467
Be good for you. Come on. My treat.
1385
01:19:44,502 --> 01:19:45,885
I'm buying.
1386
01:19:46,427 --> 01:19:47,845
Oh, mother...
1387
01:20:09,075 --> 01:20:10,618
Oh, yes.
1388
01:20:10,785 --> 01:20:12,954
I know, baby, I know.
1389
01:20:13,955 --> 01:20:15,331
Yeah.
1390
01:20:15,498 --> 01:20:16,583
No!
1391
01:20:16,666 --> 01:20:21,879
Oh. No. No. Oh. No. No.
1392
01:20:23,089 --> 01:20:24,424
Oh, no.
1393
01:20:37,437 --> 01:20:40,481
Ugh! Mike, come on, outside.
1394
01:20:43,109 --> 01:20:44,485
Attaboy.
1395
01:20:47,739 --> 01:20:50,366
God. Ok!
1396
01:20:58,416 --> 01:21:00,710
All right, buddy, all right.
1397
01:21:02,670 --> 01:21:04,047
Mike.
1398
01:21:06,633 --> 01:21:08,134
Mom.
1399
01:21:09,469 --> 01:21:11,137
Don't come in here.
1400
01:21:11,304 --> 01:21:12,764
What is it?
1401
01:21:13,264 --> 01:21:15,523
I- I-I-I messed myself.
1402
01:21:15,558 --> 01:21:18,102
I got up to go to the bathroom, and I messed myself.
1403
01:21:18,144 --> 01:21:20,083
No! Don't- don't touch me!
1404
01:21:20,118 --> 01:21:22,023
You are not cleaning me!
1405
01:21:22,058 --> 01:21:23,364
I can do it. Don't!
1406
01:21:23,399 --> 01:21:26,402
You are not going to clean me!
1407
01:21:28,738 --> 01:21:30,114
No.
1408
01:21:40,083 --> 01:21:41,334
Well...
1409
01:21:43,044 --> 01:21:45,046
I can't go home now.
1410
01:21:47,507 --> 01:21:49,509
I waited too long.
1411
01:21:55,515 --> 01:21:57,642
I'm never going home again.
1412
01:22:24,419 --> 01:22:27,255
Horseshit. You pushed me down the fucking stairs.
1413
01:22:27,297 --> 01:22:29,215
- You are totally full of shit.
- Would you stop it?
1414
01:22:29,257 --> 01:22:32,016
You fell your fat ass backwards down the stairs.
1415
01:22:32,051 --> 01:22:34,929
I wouldn't have fallen down the stairs if you hadn't slammed my body
1416
01:22:34,964 --> 01:22:36,646
onto the top of the fucking landing!
1417
01:22:36,681 --> 01:22:39,559
Perhaps I would not haven if you hadn't just fucked my mother!
1418
01:22:39,594 --> 01:22:42,604
I didn't fuck your mother! I made love to your mother.
1419
01:22:42,645 --> 01:22:44,981
And news flash! Your mother made love to me!
1420
01:22:45,016 --> 01:22:46,197
Oh, would you just stop it.
1421
01:22:46,232 --> 01:22:48,443
2 lost ships in the night or some such shit!
1422
01:22:48,484 --> 01:22:49,534
Would you just shut the fuck up!
1423
01:22:49,569 --> 01:22:51,529
You self-centered piece of shit, don't you get it?
1424
01:22:51,564 --> 01:22:52,996
It's actually not about you.
1425
01:22:53,031 --> 01:22:54,616
She is dying inside, that woman is.
1426
01:22:54,657 --> 01:22:55,999
You know that? She's dying inside.
1427
01:22:56,034 --> 01:22:58,411
What are you talking about? My mother's dying inside?
1428
01:22:58,446 --> 01:22:59,711
How the fuck do you know that?
1429
01:22:59,746 --> 01:23:02,540
Where do you think I got that fucking picture of your brother this afternoon-
1430
01:23:02,575 --> 01:23:04,083
the internet?
1431
01:23:04,542 --> 01:23:06,301
Are you still fucking my mother?
1432
01:23:06,336 --> 01:23:08,004
That is none of your goddamn business.
1433
01:23:08,039 --> 01:23:08,636
Are you?!
1434
01:23:08,671 --> 01:23:09,929
You don't fucking get it, do you?
1435
01:23:09,964 --> 01:23:12,015
Do you know that she is drinking around the clock?
1436
01:23:12,050 --> 01:23:16,102
She's mumbling about death and facial creams and prince Rainier.
1437
01:23:16,137 --> 01:23:20,141
And she is so worried about you and your brother she can barely speak.
1438
01:23:20,176 --> 01:23:21,684
That's not my fault, is it?!
1439
01:23:21,726 --> 01:23:24,291
Everything is not my fucking fault!
1440
01:23:24,326 --> 01:23:26,404
Exactly! Exactly! It's not your fault!
1441
01:23:26,439 --> 01:23:28,448
And the sooner you figure that out
1442
01:23:28,483 --> 01:23:31,527
and get over the silly little oedipal spasm you're having,
1443
01:23:31,562 --> 01:23:34,489
the sooner we can find a good fucking whorehouse!
1444
01:23:40,453 --> 01:23:41,788
Hey! Hey.
1445
01:23:44,499 --> 01:23:45,541
Hey!
1446
01:23:48,878 --> 01:23:51,256
I'll sue your big goony mexican ass.
1447
01:23:51,291 --> 01:23:52,882
Assholes!
1448
01:23:54,008 --> 01:23:56,761
I don't have an oedipus complex, you idiot.
1449
01:23:56,796 --> 01:23:57,810
I'll take your word for it.
1450
01:23:57,845 --> 01:24:00,848
Just don't go gouging your eyes out in a sudden moment of madness.
1451
01:24:00,883 --> 01:24:02,680
I'm not in love with my mother, you moron.
1452
01:24:02,715 --> 01:24:04,701
Of course you're not in love with your mother.
1453
01:24:04,736 --> 01:24:06,653
Just stop crucifying the poor woman, will you?
1454
01:24:06,688 --> 01:24:11,150
Let her off the cross so she can have a shot at getting her act together.
1455
01:24:11,484 --> 01:24:13,069
She's a great lady.
1456
01:24:13,319 --> 01:24:14,244
Your mom, you know?
1457
01:24:14,279 --> 01:24:17,657
A little- a little complicated, but a great lady.
1458
01:24:27,458 --> 01:24:28,883
Oh, god.
1459
01:24:28,918 --> 01:24:30,962
- You ok there?
- Oh, yeah.
1460
01:24:31,004 --> 01:24:34,299
Jesus. Did I get any on you there?
1461
01:24:35,008 --> 01:24:36,015
I think I'm good.
1462
01:24:36,050 --> 01:24:39,220
Oh, there's a little glob right there. That's all right.
1463
01:24:39,255 --> 01:24:40,103
Sorry.
1464
01:24:40,138 --> 01:24:41,389
I'll take it.
1465
01:24:41,424 --> 01:24:42,765
Oh, god.
1466
01:24:43,391 --> 01:24:46,144
Oh, god, my stomach really hurts.
1467
01:24:49,314 --> 01:24:51,524
That's not blood, is it? Is that blood?
1468
01:24:53,276 --> 01:24:55,862
You're the doctor, but I would venture to say
1469
01:24:55,904 --> 01:24:58,197
that that's a member of the pimento family.
1470
01:24:58,232 --> 01:25:00,491
See, look, that's red pepper right there.
1471
01:25:00,526 --> 01:25:01,993
Oh, stop. Stop, that's gross.
1472
01:25:04,495 --> 01:25:05,955
Oh, god.
1473
01:25:06,581 --> 01:25:08,666
Oh, what the fuck is happening to me?
1474
01:25:08,701 --> 01:25:09,876
You're healing.
1475
01:25:09,918 --> 01:25:11,044
What?
1476
01:25:11,252 --> 01:25:12,503
You're healing.
1477
01:25:12,545 --> 01:25:13,553
I'm healing?
1478
01:25:13,588 --> 01:25:15,381
Yeah, isn't that what your people call it?
1479
01:25:15,465 --> 01:25:17,842
Yeah, I guess.
1480
01:25:17,926 --> 01:25:20,970
Ok, I'm healing.
1481
01:25:21,262 --> 01:25:23,932
Don't know what the hell I'm healing from, but...
1482
01:25:23,973 --> 01:25:25,767
let's call it healing.
1483
01:25:25,808 --> 01:25:27,018
Good. Let's.
1484
01:25:29,646 --> 01:25:32,649
But... how come you're not puking your guts out? You drank more than I did.
1485
01:25:32,774 --> 01:25:34,734
You didn't fuck my mother.
1486
01:25:40,448 --> 01:25:41,845
Oh, boy.
1487
01:25:41,880 --> 01:25:43,243
Oh, yeah.
1488
01:25:43,576 --> 01:25:45,286
- You ok?
- Yeah.
1489
01:25:45,745 --> 01:25:47,747
I'm fantastic. Don't worry about me.
1490
01:25:47,782 --> 01:25:49,457
Oh, I'm not worried about you.
1491
01:25:49,666 --> 01:25:52,335
Ok. Well...
1492
01:25:53,378 --> 01:25:55,797
I could use a beer. How about you?
1493
01:25:57,507 --> 01:26:00,051
Come on. Let's go get some more beer.
1494
01:26:10,770 --> 01:26:12,772
Where's my fucking brother?
1495
01:26:14,107 --> 01:26:15,483
Teddy!
1496
01:26:17,235 --> 01:26:18,528
Teddy!
1497
01:26:18,736 --> 01:26:20,238
Huffstodt.
1498
01:26:20,572 --> 01:26:21,593
Hola.
1499
01:26:21,628 --> 01:26:22,615
Teddy!
1500
01:27:08,161 --> 01:27:11,998
I find this part of the Baja so festive, don't you?
1501
01:27:12,040 --> 01:27:13,214
It is lovely.
1502
01:27:13,249 --> 01:27:17,295
Oh, look, we have some... dark and dusky... lassies.
1503
01:27:17,330 --> 01:27:19,005
Hello, Mrs. Sparkly.
1504
01:27:19,047 --> 01:27:21,674
- Hi, it's lovely to see you.
- Oh, we have 2 little sparklies.
1505
01:27:21,709 --> 01:27:23,426
- Hi, how are you? No, thank you.
- Hello, little sparkly.
1506
01:27:23,461 --> 01:27:25,470
- No, thank you. Pardon me.
- You are adorable.
1507
01:27:25,505 --> 01:27:26,352
Pardon me.
1508
01:27:26,387 --> 01:27:29,307
- Ooh, and I like that scenic print.
- Hi. Hello. Please. Hi.
1509
01:27:29,342 --> 01:27:31,684
- Muy caliente este printo.
- Teddy?
1510
01:27:32,518 --> 01:27:33,568
Ted?
1511
01:27:33,603 --> 01:27:34,812
- You have some lovely-
- Hello?
1512
01:27:34,854 --> 01:27:35,980
It's me.
1513
01:27:36,189 --> 01:27:38,524
Hello? I can't hear you.
1514
01:27:38,559 --> 01:27:39,490
It's me!
1515
01:27:39,525 --> 01:27:42,487
Oh, hey, honey. How you doing? I'm sorry. I can't hear very well.
1516
01:27:42,522 --> 01:27:43,947
I thought you might've been Teddy.
1517
01:27:43,988 --> 01:27:45,163
It's my mom.
1518
01:27:45,198 --> 01:27:48,701
She-she got up... in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom,
1519
01:27:48,736 --> 01:27:50,001
I think, and she fell.
1520
01:27:50,036 --> 01:27:51,955
And she- she messed herself.
1521
01:27:51,996 --> 01:27:55,500
She went to the bathroom all over herself. It was awful.
1522
01:27:55,535 --> 01:27:57,043
Oh, my god.
1523
01:27:57,460 --> 01:28:00,463
I carried her upstairs, and I cleaned her off in the shower.
1524
01:28:00,498 --> 01:28:02,513
And she was so humiliated.
1525
01:28:02,548 --> 01:28:06,970
And she practically went into a frenzy when I suggested that we go to the hospital.
1526
01:28:07,005 --> 01:28:08,429
And she-
1527
01:28:08,930 --> 01:28:12,725
Oh, she asked me if it was ok if she died here.
1528
01:28:12,760 --> 01:28:14,102
She asked me that.
1529
01:28:14,137 --> 01:28:16,110
Oh, man. Ohh!
1530
01:28:16,145 --> 01:28:18,154
I have to get her a nurse, right?
1531
01:28:18,189 --> 01:28:20,191
I have to get a nurse to come to the house.
1532
01:28:20,226 --> 01:28:21,741
Yeah, honey, call Paula.
1533
01:28:21,776 --> 01:28:23,528
Now? In the middle of the night?
1534
01:28:23,570 --> 01:28:25,370
Yeah, she'll be ok with it. Believe me.
1535
01:28:25,405 --> 01:28:28,324
Sometimes we recommend hospice workers to people, you know.
1536
01:28:28,359 --> 01:28:31,244
She's got all that information. Just call Paula, honey.
1537
01:28:31,279 --> 01:28:33,663
Craig, this is Vanessa.
1538
01:28:33,698 --> 01:28:34,796
Who's that?
1539
01:28:34,831 --> 01:28:36,708
- It's Russell, honey.
- No, it's not Russell.
1540
01:28:36,743 --> 01:28:38,543
My name's Kevin, and I'm from placitas.
1541
01:28:38,578 --> 01:28:41,129
Ow! Fuck off, you idiot! God!
1542
01:28:41,164 --> 01:28:42,262
What's going on?
1543
01:28:42,297 --> 01:28:45,300
He just gave me a titty-twister. I'm sorry.
1544
01:28:45,335 --> 01:28:47,468
He sounds drunk. Are you drunk?
1545
01:28:47,503 --> 01:28:48,768
No, no, no, no.
1546
01:28:48,803 --> 01:28:50,597
Vanessa is gonna take us disco dancing at a strippy club.
1547
01:28:50,632 --> 01:28:51,813
- Shut up.
- And you're invited.
1548
01:28:51,848 --> 01:28:54,142
- A strip club?
- No, no, no, we're not- shut up!
1549
01:28:54,177 --> 01:28:56,436
- We're not doing that, honey.
- No, you shut up.
1550
01:28:56,477 --> 01:28:58,563
You threw me down the stairs. Fuck off.
1551
01:28:58,688 --> 01:29:01,441
Um, hold on one second, ok? Russ?
1552
01:29:01,608 --> 01:29:02,984
Russell!
1553
01:29:03,026 --> 01:29:04,444
Russ!
1554
01:29:06,487 --> 01:29:09,032
I'm so-honey, I'm sorry. Go ahead.
1555
01:29:10,158 --> 01:29:14,516
My mother is literally shitting all over herself,
1556
01:29:14,551 --> 01:29:17,797
and you are drunk in Tijuana going to strip clubs?
1557
01:29:17,832 --> 01:29:20,647
I thought you went down there to find your brother.
1558
01:29:20,682 --> 01:29:23,463
Honey, we are. We're looking for Teddy right now.
1559
01:29:23,498 --> 01:29:25,173
Jesus, Huff!
1560
01:29:26,716 --> 01:29:28,572
Hon- hello?
1561
01:29:28,607 --> 01:29:30,428
Honey, hello?
1562
01:29:30,720 --> 01:29:33,848
Oh, come on. Don't- fuckin' don't do that!
1563
01:29:33,883 --> 01:29:35,558
Don't fuckin' do that.
1564
01:29:37,602 --> 01:29:38,645
Fuck!
1565
01:29:52,283 --> 01:29:56,079
Poor, poor Beth. It's getting real nasty, isn't it?
1566
01:29:56,120 --> 01:29:57,205
It's nasty.
1567
01:29:57,240 --> 01:29:58,289
Yeah.
1568
01:29:58,998 --> 01:30:00,625
Beth, how is she?
1569
01:30:01,042 --> 01:30:03,086
Oh, I don't know.
1570
01:30:03,127 --> 01:30:05,004
I can't even tell anymore.
1571
01:30:05,129 --> 01:30:08,091
I got ahold of Grace Lamaster.
1572
01:30:08,341 --> 01:30:11,970
She's my favorite hospice nurse in all of L.A.
1573
01:30:12,637 --> 01:30:16,808
Grace is kind and loving, experienced.
1574
01:30:16,975 --> 01:30:18,226
You mind if I get a beer?
1575
01:30:18,261 --> 01:30:19,477
Oh, god, no.
1576
01:30:19,519 --> 01:30:22,000
I mean- I mean gosh, no.
1577
01:30:22,035 --> 01:30:24,447
Beth, God made beer.
1578
01:30:24,482 --> 01:30:25,608
- Yonu want one?
- Yeah.
1579
01:30:25,643 --> 01:30:28,326
Don't be so jumpy.
1580
01:30:28,361 --> 01:30:30,238
Sometimes it's right here.
1581
01:30:30,280 --> 01:30:32,865
This is like prayer in a bottle.
1582
01:30:33,324 --> 01:30:36,411
Did you know that? That's why they call it "spirits. "
1583
01:30:36,911 --> 01:30:39,622
Right now, we're gonna have a toast.
1584
01:30:40,331 --> 01:30:41,457
Ok.
1585
01:30:42,083 --> 01:30:44,252
Here's to everything good.
1586
01:30:48,339 --> 01:30:50,633
Huff and Teddy are on their way back home?
1587
01:30:51,509 --> 01:30:55,305
No. Uh, he lost him again.
1588
01:30:55,847 --> 01:30:57,724
It's all just crazy.
1589
01:30:58,141 --> 01:31:01,102
I don't know what we did to deserve all this.
1590
01:31:01,137 --> 01:31:04,821
Beth... you don't deserve any of it.
1591
01:31:04,856 --> 01:31:08,192
God just thinks you're strong enough to handle it all.
1592
01:31:09,319 --> 01:31:13,114
He's just trying to move a whole lot of shit out of the way at once.
1593
01:31:13,698 --> 01:31:15,992
But there are better days ahead.
1594
01:31:16,743 --> 01:31:20,455
Now why are you doing dishes at 3:00 in the morning?
1595
01:31:22,332 --> 01:31:24,083
I'm not sure.
1596
01:31:24,459 --> 01:31:27,420
Beth, take your weary ass to bed.
1597
01:31:27,455 --> 01:31:29,005
I'll do the dishes.
1598
01:31:30,048 --> 01:31:32,800
Oh, god, Paula, you are the best.
1599
01:31:34,469 --> 01:31:36,930
And don't you look up at that ceiling for 2 hours.
1600
01:31:36,965 --> 01:31:38,264
You hear me? Go to sleep.
1601
01:31:38,299 --> 01:31:39,557
No problem.
1602
01:31:51,319 --> 01:31:54,864
Lord... please.
1603
01:31:55,448 --> 01:31:59,244
Open up Huff's eyes and ears
1604
01:31:59,535 --> 01:32:03,289
and let him truly see what I know
1605
01:32:03,414 --> 01:32:06,459
that you have already put before him, lord.
1606
01:32:07,043 --> 01:32:10,463
You will show him the way, if he'll listen.
1607
01:32:10,922 --> 01:32:13,841
You'll show him the way, if he'll see.
1608
01:32:14,509 --> 01:32:17,762
Please, Jesus. Please.
1609
01:32:18,388 --> 01:32:22,725
Lead him to his precious, precious brother.
1610
01:32:31,234 --> 01:32:33,778
Honey, please, you have to believe me, ok?
1611
01:32:33,813 --> 01:32:36,360
We're not partying here, all right?
1612
01:32:36,395 --> 01:32:38,873
Russell was here to give Teddy an I.D.
1613
01:32:38,908 --> 01:32:40,910
He could not get across the border without it.
1614
01:32:40,945 --> 01:32:43,127
And then Teddy ran away again.
1615
01:32:43,162 --> 01:32:46,165
Eh, fuck it. She's not gonna- she's not-
1616
01:32:46,200 --> 01:32:48,835
fuckin' mistrustful, fuckin' harsh,
1617
01:32:48,876 --> 01:32:50,815
fuckin' pain in the fuckin' ass!
1618
01:32:50,850 --> 01:32:52,720
You know, there is a theory.
1619
01:32:52,755 --> 01:32:55,383
When you list the faults of others, what you're really doing
1620
01:32:55,418 --> 01:32:57,552
is listing the faults of yourself.
1621
01:32:57,587 --> 01:32:58,800
Ishvan?
1622
01:32:58,835 --> 01:32:59,978
Hey!
1623
01:33:00,013 --> 01:33:03,641
No. This is Tijuana. I'm Carlitos here.
1624
01:33:03,766 --> 01:33:06,769
Uh, you find Teddy yet?
1625
01:33:06,895 --> 01:33:08,278
No, no.
1626
01:33:08,313 --> 01:33:09,320
How do you know about that?
1627
01:33:09,355 --> 01:33:14,360
Oh, no. Let's not ask each other one more year of the same questions, ok?
1628
01:33:14,395 --> 01:33:17,530
So how's your bleeding ulcer?
1629
01:33:18,615 --> 01:33:20,540
- My what?
- Oh, oops.
1630
01:33:20,575 --> 01:33:22,201
Sometimes I get ahead of myself.
1631
01:33:22,236 --> 01:33:23,710
I have a bleeding ulcer?
1632
01:33:23,745 --> 01:33:26,039
Well, well, you're going to have to start growing
1633
01:33:26,074 --> 01:33:27,922
or your stomach is going to kill you.
1634
01:33:27,957 --> 01:33:30,925
I think I'm ok. I think I just ate something not so good.
1635
01:33:30,960 --> 01:33:36,215
No, it's more like something you keep swallowing over and over and ov-
1636
01:33:36,250 --> 01:33:39,267
But first things first, where's Teddy?
1637
01:33:39,302 --> 01:33:41,742
I don't know. I don't know. He ran away again.
1638
01:33:41,777 --> 01:33:44,182
I know he ran away, you loco doctor psychologist.
1639
01:33:44,217 --> 01:33:45,725
I asked you where he is.
1640
01:33:45,767 --> 01:33:48,311
I don't know where he is. He ran away.
1641
01:33:48,346 --> 01:33:50,069
He told you where he is.
1642
01:33:50,104 --> 01:33:52,941
You didn't listen and you don't see.
1643
01:33:54,108 --> 01:33:56,951
He said he was with Jesus and mother Teresa.
1644
01:33:56,986 --> 01:33:59,697
So if that means he's at a church, I'm shit out of luck, man,
1645
01:33:59,732 --> 01:34:01,737
because I've been to, like, 20 of them.
1646
01:34:01,772 --> 01:34:03,743
Look around. It's Mexico, you know?
1647
01:34:03,778 --> 01:34:05,178
Christ is everywhere.
1648
01:34:05,213 --> 01:34:06,544
Ha ha. Pretty much.
1649
01:34:06,579 --> 01:34:08,880
But I said you didn't listen. Would you listen?
1650
01:34:08,915 --> 01:34:13,294
When Theodore called you, what did he say about Jesus?
1651
01:34:14,254 --> 01:34:16,965
He said that Jesus was very tall.
1652
01:34:17,006 --> 01:34:18,132
Very, very, very tall.
1653
01:34:18,167 --> 01:34:20,426
Yeah. Finally.
1654
01:34:21,844 --> 01:34:24,764
Finally what? What finally?
1655
01:34:28,768 --> 01:34:31,354
Oh, that fucking Jesus.
1656
01:34:31,813 --> 01:34:33,273
Did you mean-
1657
01:34:37,610 --> 01:34:38,653
Hey.
1658
01:34:41,155 --> 01:34:42,448
Ay yi yi.
1659
01:34:43,032 --> 01:34:44,701
I'm pretty fucked up.
1660
01:34:50,748 --> 01:34:51,958
How you feeling?
1661
01:34:52,584 --> 01:34:53,918
Not good.
1662
01:34:58,214 --> 01:34:59,424
Mom...
1663
01:35:00,800 --> 01:35:02,176
um...
1664
01:35:03,303 --> 01:35:06,848
we need to talk a little bit about what's happening.
1665
01:35:07,098 --> 01:35:08,850
I'm not going to the hospital.
1666
01:35:09,559 --> 01:35:10,768
I know.
1667
01:35:11,769 --> 01:35:14,147
I have a nurse coming to the house.
1668
01:35:14,689 --> 01:35:15,655
A nurse?
1669
01:35:15,690 --> 01:35:17,400
A hospice nurse.
1670
01:35:21,321 --> 01:35:22,530
Wow.
1671
01:35:26,743 --> 01:35:28,411
The blink of an eye.
1672
01:35:30,455 --> 01:35:34,042
A hospice nurse in the blink of an eye.
1673
01:35:34,500 --> 01:35:35,752
Um...
1674
01:35:36,711 --> 01:35:40,423
a bed is coming to the house and...
1675
01:35:41,132 --> 01:35:44,260
we're putting it downstairs in the den.
1676
01:35:45,261 --> 01:35:47,138
And I called daddy
1677
01:35:48,348 --> 01:35:52,039
and he's gonna... take the next flight out.
1678
01:35:52,074 --> 01:35:55,730
So... he should be here early tomorrow morning.
1679
01:35:56,606 --> 01:35:58,323
Daddy's coming?
1680
01:35:58,358 --> 01:36:01,110
Paula's picking him up at the airport for us.
1681
01:36:04,030 --> 01:36:06,866
How long do I have, honey?
1682
01:36:12,664 --> 01:36:15,708
Has anybody told you how long I have?
1683
01:37:08,261 --> 01:37:10,513
You sure this is the place, Huffy?
1684
01:37:10,680 --> 01:37:11,889
No.
1685
01:37:13,725 --> 01:37:15,476
Hey, hey, hey. Pay up.
1686
01:37:15,511 --> 01:37:16,311
Oh, no, no, no.
1687
01:37:18,438 --> 01:37:20,023
And then we all go home.
1688
01:37:20,058 --> 01:37:21,364
No. No way.
1689
01:37:21,399 --> 01:37:23,234
Russ, just stay with the cab.
1690
01:37:23,269 --> 01:37:25,069
I'm gonna stay in the cab.
1691
01:37:26,279 --> 01:37:27,405
Asshole.
1692
01:37:27,447 --> 01:37:29,324
Hey, language, paco.
1693
01:37:29,365 --> 01:37:30,658
Language.
1694
01:37:49,802 --> 01:37:51,137
Hello?
1695
01:37:52,347 --> 01:37:53,681
Teddy?
1696
01:38:01,481 --> 01:38:02,941
Hello?
1697
01:38:09,697 --> 01:38:11,616
Teddy, are you in here?
1698
01:38:14,744 --> 01:38:16,120
Jesus.
1699
01:38:16,155 --> 01:38:17,497
Teddy?
1700
01:38:25,588 --> 01:38:27,257
Teddy, come on.
1701
01:38:30,760 --> 01:38:32,011
Teddy!
1702
01:38:35,139 --> 01:38:38,309
You were right. Jesus is very, very tall.
1703
01:38:41,980 --> 01:38:44,607
Wow. Mother Teresa doesn't have any eyes.
1704
01:38:49,821 --> 01:38:52,657
Teddy, come on. You don't have to go back to Woodburn, Ted.
1705
01:38:52,692 --> 01:38:55,285
I just said that out of force of habit.
1706
01:38:55,660 --> 01:38:58,419
Teddy, please. This place is really creepy.
1707
01:38:58,454 --> 01:39:01,624
Ok? Can you just come out and come home with me?
1708
01:39:01,659 --> 01:39:03,581
Waited too long, Craig.
1709
01:39:03,616 --> 01:39:05,503
I can never go home again.
1710
01:39:05,538 --> 01:39:07,255
Jesus.
1711
01:39:08,214 --> 01:39:09,549
Jesus.
1712
01:39:09,882 --> 01:39:11,634
No, it's Ted.
1713
01:39:11,801 --> 01:39:14,762
We're standing under Jesus' blue ball.
1714
01:39:15,388 --> 01:39:17,557
Teddy, how did you get up there?
1715
01:39:17,592 --> 01:39:19,434
The stairs. I walked.
1716
01:39:19,809 --> 01:39:22,395
Well, how 'bout walkin' down?
1717
01:39:22,937 --> 01:39:24,397
I can't.
1718
01:39:25,648 --> 01:39:27,483
Teddy, please. Come on.
1719
01:39:28,359 --> 01:39:29,777
No, Craig.
1720
01:39:30,278 --> 01:39:31,904
All right, well, I'm coming up there, then.
1721
01:39:31,939 --> 01:39:34,653
- Don't do it, Craig.
- Teddy, I just wanna-
1722
01:39:34,688 --> 01:39:37,368
- No! Don't do it, Craig!
- Ok. Ok, ok, ok.
1723
01:39:45,043 --> 01:39:47,211
Why'd I have to get so sick?
1724
01:39:48,963 --> 01:39:50,882
Why'd I get so sick?
1725
01:39:54,469 --> 01:39:56,846
Why didn't you get sick instead?
1726
01:40:18,534 --> 01:40:22,997
Uh... excusamente, se�or.
1727
01:40:23,039 --> 01:40:28,586
Uh, uh, necesito pen- Uh, te marijuana?
1728
01:40:28,621 --> 01:40:30,678
Por me poquito marijuana?
1729
01:40:30,713 --> 01:40:33,091
- You want marijuana?
- I wanna marijuana.
1730
01:40:33,716 --> 01:40:35,093
Pesos.
1731
01:40:35,343 --> 01:40:36,803
Pesitos?
1732
01:40:37,929 --> 01:40:40,473
�Tengo pesitos para marijuana?
1733
01:40:41,849 --> 01:40:43,017
Ok?
1734
01:40:43,351 --> 01:40:45,853
Ok. Gracias.
1735
01:40:56,489 --> 01:40:58,366
Answer the question!
1736
01:40:59,325 --> 01:41:00,416
I don't know.
1737
01:41:00,451 --> 01:41:03,044
Come on! Answer it!
1738
01:41:03,079 --> 01:41:05,039
Teddy, I really don't know.
1739
01:41:05,074 --> 01:41:06,965
You're a fuckin' doctor.
1740
01:41:07,000 --> 01:41:10,295
You're a psychiatrist. You're supposed to know everything.
1741
01:41:10,878 --> 01:41:14,465
Oh, Ted. I hardly know anything.
1742
01:41:30,440 --> 01:41:32,824
I'm so sick, Craig.
1743
01:41:32,859 --> 01:41:35,778
I'm so much sicker than ever thought I was.
1744
01:41:39,908 --> 01:41:42,577
When I was in your car coming here...
1745
01:41:42,994 --> 01:41:46,963
fucking car started talking to me.
1746
01:41:46,998 --> 01:41:52,795
It was this woman saying, "Turn around. Go left! Turn right! Go back!"
1747
01:41:52,921 --> 01:41:56,090
Cars don't talk, Craig. I know that.
1748
01:41:56,466 --> 01:41:58,885
Ted, actually, these days, they do.
1749
01:41:58,920 --> 01:41:59,767
Liar!
1750
01:41:59,802 --> 01:42:02,145
No, Ted, I'm not lying, I swear to you.
1751
01:42:02,180 --> 01:42:05,016
Fancy new cars have a GPS system, it's called.
1752
01:42:05,058 --> 01:42:07,560
It's like a computerized map that talks to you.
1753
01:42:07,595 --> 01:42:11,356
Liar! Maps don't talk!
1754
01:42:12,273 --> 01:42:15,193
Why should I go home with you if you're just gonna lie to me,
1755
01:42:15,228 --> 01:42:16,945
year after year?
1756
01:42:21,282 --> 01:42:23,743
Just leave me here, Craig.
1757
01:42:24,535 --> 01:42:28,831
Just stop worrying about me and just fuckin' let me go.
1758
01:42:33,336 --> 01:42:35,380
Just fuckin' let me go.
1759
01:43:11,332 --> 01:43:12,257
Daddy.
1760
01:43:12,292 --> 01:43:13,668
We made it.
1761
01:43:14,794 --> 01:43:16,546
- Hi, angel.
- Hi.
1762
01:43:18,172 --> 01:43:19,549
Are you hungry?
1763
01:43:19,757 --> 01:43:22,885
I had a soda on the plane. I'm fine. Let me see your mother.
1764
01:43:28,683 --> 01:43:30,768
Baby, baby, baby.
1765
01:43:35,607 --> 01:43:37,942
Sit down. We have to talk.
1766
01:43:38,443 --> 01:43:40,361
Why didn't you call?
1767
01:43:41,029 --> 01:43:43,907
Why'd you let it go like this without calling?
1768
01:43:44,157 --> 01:43:46,200
I was coming home.
1769
01:43:46,451 --> 01:43:49,329
It went like this without my permission.
1770
01:43:49,871 --> 01:43:51,497
Are you feeling any better at all?
1771
01:43:51,532 --> 01:43:54,334
Ohh. Please, honey, sit down.
1772
01:43:54,369 --> 01:43:56,920
I have something to say.
1773
01:43:58,671 --> 01:44:00,506
What is it, sugar?
1774
01:44:04,052 --> 01:44:09,098
I've thought long and hard whether I should tell you this.
1775
01:44:11,059 --> 01:44:12,977
Long and hard.
1776
01:44:14,646 --> 01:44:18,983
And I've decided I- I really have no choice in the matter.
1777
01:44:19,108 --> 01:44:21,027
You have to know.
1778
01:44:21,819 --> 01:44:27,116
Just-just promise me you'll let me get it all out...
1779
01:44:27,659 --> 01:44:30,828
won't interrupt till I'm finished.
1780
01:44:32,622 --> 01:44:34,249
I promise.
1781
01:44:43,716 --> 01:44:45,093
See...
1782
01:44:52,225 --> 01:44:56,312
there was this 80-year-old woman lying in a coma.
1783
01:44:56,437 --> 01:45:02,068
All scientific indications showed she was brain dead, totally brain dead.
1784
01:45:02,103 --> 01:45:06,531
But one day this nurse was giving her a sponge bath,
1785
01:45:06,566 --> 01:45:09,426
and when the nurse got down to the woman's...
1786
01:45:09,461 --> 01:45:12,287
He cried all the way in from the airport.
1787
01:45:12,579 --> 01:45:14,581
And I say good for him.
1788
01:45:14,616 --> 01:45:15,915
Exactly.
1789
01:45:16,082 --> 01:45:19,419
Oh, God, I hope this doesn't kill him, too.
1790
01:45:24,799 --> 01:45:26,426
What the hell?
1791
01:45:30,680 --> 01:45:34,392
Leave it to my mom and dad to put the fun back into dying.
1792
01:46:09,052 --> 01:46:10,470
Hey, Craig?
1793
01:46:11,930 --> 01:46:13,139
Mmm?
1794
01:46:13,640 --> 01:46:15,141
Are you awake?
1795
01:46:15,350 --> 01:46:17,185
Yeah, I'm up, Ted.
1796
01:46:17,810 --> 01:46:19,729
'Cause I'm not feeling too good.
1797
01:46:20,521 --> 01:46:22,398
I'm gettin' a little dizzy.
1798
01:46:24,567 --> 01:46:26,743
Teddy, please come down?
1799
01:46:26,778 --> 01:46:30,240
I have another shot for you in the cab. You'll feel better.
1800
01:46:30,990 --> 01:46:32,575
Oh, goodie.
1801
01:46:34,535 --> 01:46:36,294
What will this one do?
1802
01:46:36,329 --> 01:46:38,748
Will it make the chickens stop talking?
1803
01:46:39,582 --> 01:46:40,757
Huh?
1804
01:46:40,792 --> 01:46:43,086
I bet you don't hear chickens, Craig.
1805
01:46:43,121 --> 01:46:45,421
No, Ted, I don't hear chickens.
1806
01:46:46,756 --> 01:46:50,385
They're pissed off because nobody thinks they're really birds.
1807
01:46:54,681 --> 01:46:57,100
They're telling me I can't trust you.
1808
01:46:58,142 --> 01:47:01,813
Teddy, please? Of course you can trust me.
1809
01:47:02,897 --> 01:47:05,567
They're telling me you don't have a shot in the cab.
1810
01:47:06,484 --> 01:47:10,154
I really do have a shot for you in the cab, Ted.
1811
01:47:11,197 --> 01:47:12,991
They said I could fly.
1812
01:47:14,617 --> 01:47:16,494
Teddy, you cannot fly.
1813
01:47:16,536 --> 01:47:17,912
Oh, yes, I can.
1814
01:47:18,037 --> 01:47:18,962
Watch.
1815
01:47:18,997 --> 01:47:21,082
Teddy. Teddy!
1816
01:47:22,041 --> 01:47:27,297
Subtitles: Willow's Team
Transcripts:
1817
01:47:27,347 --> 01:47:31,897
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