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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:21,847 Come on. Honey. Give Daddy the blanket. 2 00:00:23,063 --> 00:00:26,478 Listen. This is gonna be a fun party with lots of cake and ice cream... 3 00:00:26,551 --> 00:00:29,006 but little girls with wet blankets can't go. 4 00:00:29,079 --> 00:00:30,966 Now. Give it to Daddy. 5 00:00:34,103 --> 00:00:37,681 Do this: Leave the blanket here. I'll advance your allowance till you're 40. 6 00:00:37,751 --> 00:00:39,180 Fair enough? 7 00:00:41,526 --> 00:00:44,210 There is no way that that blanket is going in this car. 8 00:00:44,278 --> 00:00:46,449 - Mom! - No. No. Not this time. 9 00:00:46,518 --> 00:00:49,005 This is a brand new $25.000 BMW... 10 00:00:49,077 --> 00:00:51,466 325 e5 with leather interior. 11 00:00:51,542 --> 00:00:53,451 Tom. It's just a car. 12 00:00:53,525 --> 00:00:56,013 Come on. I just Armor-Alled the seats. 13 00:01:07,349 --> 00:01:09,203 Got any eights? 14 00:01:10,229 --> 00:01:11,690 Go fish. 15 00:01:11,764 --> 00:01:13,487 Why does it always take her so long? 16 00:01:13,556 --> 00:01:17,168 Just think of her as a work in progress. 17 00:01:19,924 --> 00:01:22,160 - Do I look all right? - Do stars twinkle? 18 00:01:22,227 --> 00:01:23,504 Come on. Sweetheart. Your bike awaits. 19 00:01:23,572 --> 00:01:26,255 Have you ever tried to put pantyhose on with wet nails? 20 00:01:26,323 --> 00:01:28,428 - It's a bitch. - I forgot my sample case. 21 00:01:28,499 --> 00:01:30,539 Come on. Tish. We're gonna be late. 22 00:01:30,611 --> 00:01:31,952 We are late. 23 00:01:33,747 --> 00:01:35,208 Be careful. 24 00:01:38,290 --> 00:01:40,145 Get out of the road! 25 00:01:43,442 --> 00:01:45,297 Be careful. Tom! 26 00:01:55,985 --> 00:01:57,774 Come on! 27 00:02:01,521 --> 00:02:03,593 Congratulations. Mama. 28 00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:06,032 Wasn't it a beautiful ceremony? 29 00:02:06,097 --> 00:02:08,235 Beautiful. 30 00:02:08,304 --> 00:02:10,475 Oh. No! It means fertility. 31 00:02:10,545 --> 00:02:12,071 God forbid. 32 00:02:26,735 --> 00:02:29,517 This great song with its wonderful rhythm 33 00:02:30,671 --> 00:02:33,802 It's a wonderful rhythm and you can feel it 34 00:02:33,871 --> 00:02:36,292 You know what I'm saying 35 00:02:36,367 --> 00:02:39,683 Yes, you know what I'm saying Come on and dance 36 00:02:39,759 --> 00:02:41,766 Come on and dance Come on and dance 37 00:02:41,838 --> 00:02:44,172 Look at Mom! 38 00:02:45,454 --> 00:02:49,283 When the stars meet the heavens The sky will shine 39 00:02:49,358 --> 00:02:52,041 The whole night long the sky will shine 40 00:02:53,613 --> 00:02:54,955 Bad tits. 41 00:02:58,350 --> 00:03:00,324 No ass. 42 00:03:00,397 --> 00:03:03,048 So. Tom. you still selling Subarus? 43 00:03:03,117 --> 00:03:06,280 How many times I got to tell you. Kirby? I sell BMWs. 44 00:03:06,348 --> 00:03:08,585 I just happen to work out of a Subaru showroom. 45 00:03:13,068 --> 00:03:15,883 - Look at her. - What a pig. 46 00:03:15,948 --> 00:03:17,922 Here we are. Safe and sound. 47 00:03:21,292 --> 00:03:23,267 I know. We got to get a car. 48 00:03:23,340 --> 00:03:25,095 It's on my list. 49 00:03:25,164 --> 00:03:27,018 I dried my hair in front of the TV... 50 00:03:27,083 --> 00:03:29,385 and it's full of electricity. 51 00:03:29,451 --> 00:03:31,306 Mitch. Please stop. 52 00:03:31,371 --> 00:03:33,226 Mitch. Don't do that. 53 00:03:33,291 --> 00:03:36,389 Your cousins Toby and Mary... do they have a boy or a girl? 54 00:03:36,458 --> 00:03:38,084 One or the other. 55 00:03:39,945 --> 00:03:41,833 Go! Go! Go! Go! 56 00:04:05,864 --> 00:04:08,165 Congratulations to the bride and groom. 57 00:04:08,231 --> 00:04:10,119 Many happy years together. 58 00:04:10,183 --> 00:04:12,037 Jesus. Who is that? 59 00:04:16,679 --> 00:04:19,548 You take away the clothes and the makeup. What do you got? 60 00:04:19,623 --> 00:04:21,663 A gorgeous naked woman. 61 00:04:23,846 --> 00:04:26,432 Congratulations. Uncle Phil. 62 00:04:26,502 --> 00:04:28,192 Isn't she something? 63 00:04:28,262 --> 00:04:30,499 Edie. If you are half as wonderful as my uncle says... 64 00:04:30,566 --> 00:04:33,151 I want you to leave him right now... I'm gonna marry you. 65 00:04:34,566 --> 00:04:36,704 This is Larry's beautiful wife. Tish. 66 00:04:36,773 --> 00:04:38,148 Congratulations. 67 00:04:38,214 --> 00:04:40,996 And this monster here is Mitchie. 68 00:04:41,061 --> 00:04:42,970 Hey. Easy on the mousse. Uncle Phil. 69 00:04:43,045 --> 00:04:45,696 - Hi. Mitch. - This is for you. 70 00:04:45,765 --> 00:04:48,220 You coming to work for me. you son of a gun? 71 00:04:48,293 --> 00:04:50,202 I told you. Uncle Phil. I just don't see... 72 00:04:50,277 --> 00:04:54,139 an intellectual albeit muscular guy like myself working in a junkyard. 73 00:04:55,108 --> 00:04:58,621 Larry. Believe me. there's a future in garbage. 74 00:04:58,692 --> 00:05:02,488 By the year 2000. There's gonna be no place left for human refuse. 75 00:05:02,564 --> 00:05:05,695 Get in while the market's still open. 76 00:05:05,763 --> 00:05:08,862 Don't say nothing. Sleep on it. 77 00:05:08,932 --> 00:05:12,347 - We'll talk. Okay? - It's on my list. Uncle Phil. 78 00:05:12,420 --> 00:05:14,492 - It's on my list. I swear to God. - I got your list. 79 00:05:19,458 --> 00:05:22,426 I would like to make... Attention. Please. Attention. 80 00:05:22,498 --> 00:05:25,913 I want to make a toast to this lovely young couple. 81 00:05:27,331 --> 00:05:29,752 Most of us find love... 82 00:05:29,826 --> 00:05:31,648 once in a lifetime. if we're lucky. 83 00:05:32,706 --> 00:05:36,829 But for these two to find love again. later in life... 84 00:05:39,746 --> 00:05:43,226 On behalf of my whole family. we are grateful... 85 00:05:43,297 --> 00:05:47,868 because my Uncle Phil. While being one of the great men in garbage... 86 00:05:47,937 --> 00:05:50,620 has not always been so keen on personal hygiene. 87 00:05:50,689 --> 00:05:52,663 But that is until he met you. 88 00:05:54,816 --> 00:05:56,223 So... 89 00:05:56,288 --> 00:05:58,557 I will now disrobe... 90 00:05:58,624 --> 00:06:01,341 and play a Celtic classic ballad... 91 00:06:01,408 --> 00:06:03,513 on my love flute. 92 00:06:03,584 --> 00:06:05,275 Shut up! 93 00:06:11,840 --> 00:06:15,451 My nephew Larry's making a toast. 94 00:06:20,095 --> 00:06:22,298 Thank you. Uncle Phil. 95 00:06:22,366 --> 00:06:24,090 Even the band stopped. 96 00:06:24,159 --> 00:06:27,388 Well. I was... Excuse me here... 97 00:06:27,454 --> 00:06:31,709 I was just trying to make a toast here. 98 00:06:33,246 --> 00:06:35,831 I guess what I was trying to say was... 99 00:06:35,901 --> 00:06:37,625 this occasion's more than a wedding. 100 00:06:37,694 --> 00:06:40,247 It's a love story. 101 00:06:40,318 --> 00:06:44,027 It's... I'm dying here. 102 00:06:44,093 --> 00:06:46,744 It's the story... 103 00:06:46,813 --> 00:06:49,747 It's the story of a lovely lady 104 00:06:49,821 --> 00:06:52,821 Who was living... had three lovely girls 105 00:06:52,893 --> 00:06:54,583 Sisters 106 00:06:54,652 --> 00:06:57,947 Each of them had hair like their mother 107 00:06:58,013 --> 00:07:01,460 What's the real color of her hair anyway? 108 00:07:05,916 --> 00:07:07,704 Make up your own verse! 109 00:07:07,771 --> 00:07:10,967 It's the story of Phil Kozinski 110 00:07:11,036 --> 00:07:14,483 Who was living in a garbage dump alone 111 00:07:15,804 --> 00:07:17,658 Anyway. Anyway... 112 00:07:17,723 --> 00:07:19,284 Anyway. To life... 113 00:07:19,355 --> 00:07:21,209 to love... 114 00:07:21,275 --> 00:07:23,129 to Phil and Edie. 115 00:07:36,186 --> 00:07:37,909 I'm touched. 116 00:07:41,402 --> 00:07:43,190 Such a wonderful nephew. 117 00:07:43,257 --> 00:07:46,323 Such a wonderful bride. I don't deserve her. 118 00:07:46,393 --> 00:07:48,149 You're right. You bastard! 119 00:07:48,217 --> 00:07:52,046 Hey. You don't like it. kiss me where the sun don't shine! 120 00:07:52,121 --> 00:07:54,609 - Oh. Yeah? Where's that? - I'll show you where! 121 00:08:10,296 --> 00:08:12,183 It's all mine! 122 00:08:16,439 --> 00:08:20,465 My brother Angelo just rolled over in his grave. 123 00:08:21,399 --> 00:08:24,465 - You're crazy! - Crazy with love! 124 00:08:25,494 --> 00:08:28,047 You put your right leg in You put your right leg out 125 00:08:28,118 --> 00:08:30,191 You put your right leg in 126 00:08:30,263 --> 00:08:31,986 And shake it all about 127 00:08:32,054 --> 00:08:34,475 Do the Hokey Pokey and turn yourself around 128 00:08:34,550 --> 00:08:36,852 That's what it's all about 129 00:08:42,005 --> 00:08:43,892 Now. All of these products are natural... 130 00:08:43,958 --> 00:08:47,634 and they're coordinated to go with your individual coloring. 131 00:08:47,702 --> 00:08:51,346 You're a fall... soft ambers and magenta. 132 00:08:51,413 --> 00:08:54,991 And you're a summer... yellows and blues. 133 00:08:56,373 --> 00:09:00,333 And you. You're a spring. You should be in pink. 134 00:09:00,404 --> 00:09:02,062 Darling. I'm a widow. 135 00:09:02,132 --> 00:09:04,652 Thirty years. and I only wear black. 136 00:09:04,724 --> 00:09:07,277 And on you. It works. 137 00:09:07,348 --> 00:09:08,875 Classic. 138 00:09:08,948 --> 00:09:12,460 Turn yourself around That's what it's all about 139 00:09:13,364 --> 00:09:15,120 Look at her. 140 00:09:15,188 --> 00:09:17,675 She buried my brother only five years ago. 141 00:09:17,747 --> 00:09:21,260 - Look at her. She killed him. - What? 142 00:09:21,331 --> 00:09:24,178 She killed him by putting butter in his food all the time. 143 00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:28,938 Listen to me. Kevin. I'm telling you. I got a problem with this. 144 00:09:29,010 --> 00:09:31,531 - Now's not the time. - You canceled the check. 145 00:09:31,603 --> 00:09:34,024 - You didn't fix the car. - What. It's my fault it broke down? 146 00:09:34,098 --> 00:09:35,821 It broke down on the way home. 147 00:09:35,890 --> 00:09:37,777 - You owe me money. - You owe me a car! 148 00:09:37,842 --> 00:09:39,729 - You're a goddamn liar. - You're a cheat! 149 00:09:39,794 --> 00:09:42,576 - Shithead. Come on! - Take it easy. 150 00:09:44,338 --> 00:09:46,443 Relax! Relax! Just relax! 151 00:09:46,514 --> 00:09:48,783 - Take it easy. - Your cousin's an asshole. 152 00:09:48,849 --> 00:09:51,849 - Hey. Just take it easy. - Get some help. Tom. 153 00:09:54,608 --> 00:09:56,135 I'm sorry. 154 00:10:01,392 --> 00:10:04,327 Up close. she doesn't look so young. 155 00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:29,160 You're telling me your parents let you come here today... 156 00:10:29,230 --> 00:10:32,132 and never warned you about the wedding killer? 157 00:10:34,766 --> 00:10:38,889 You see. There's this guy... Fred. I think his name is... 158 00:10:38,957 --> 00:10:42,732 and his girlfriend walked out on him. Okay? 159 00:10:42,797 --> 00:10:44,706 And on the day of her wedding to this other guy... 160 00:10:44,781 --> 00:10:46,407 Fred showed up... 161 00:10:47,438 --> 00:10:48,867 and he had a machete... 162 00:10:48,941 --> 00:10:50,851 and he chopped her head off. 163 00:10:51,981 --> 00:10:54,436 There was blood everywhere. 164 00:10:54,509 --> 00:10:56,713 Then he sliced the groom's guts open... 165 00:10:56,781 --> 00:10:58,853 right down the middle and this stuff spilled out... 166 00:10:58,924 --> 00:11:00,615 that looked like spaghetti. 167 00:11:02,572 --> 00:11:05,671 And then he ripped her heart out while it was still beating... 168 00:11:05,740 --> 00:11:07,496 and he ate it. 169 00:11:08,396 --> 00:11:09,290 Wait. Wait. 170 00:11:09,356 --> 00:11:13,000 And now. He goes from wedding to wedding... 171 00:11:13,067 --> 00:11:15,172 macheteing up everybody into little pieces. 172 00:11:15,243 --> 00:11:17,185 Kids too? 173 00:11:17,259 --> 00:11:19,081 Especially kids. 174 00:11:19,147 --> 00:11:20,292 Time to go. Kids. 175 00:11:25,067 --> 00:11:27,522 How sweet of you to tell them stories. Mitch. 176 00:11:27,595 --> 00:11:29,417 There's nothing to it. 177 00:11:35,627 --> 00:11:37,034 Children. Children. 178 00:11:37,099 --> 00:11:39,204 Outside. 179 00:11:44,875 --> 00:11:46,565 Bye-bye! 180 00:11:49,674 --> 00:11:51,878 - Bye-bye! - Send a card! 181 00:11:54,666 --> 00:11:56,706 Okay. I'll call you. 182 00:11:59,114 --> 00:12:00,968 Dad. I can't find her anywhere... 183 00:12:01,033 --> 00:12:02,943 and I got plans tonight. 184 00:12:05,610 --> 00:12:08,065 - Can you take my kid home? - Come along. Mitch. 185 00:12:08,138 --> 00:12:10,985 Great. Thanks. As dads go. You're okay. 186 00:12:11,049 --> 00:12:12,838 Home by 10:00. 187 00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:15,870 Mitch. Home by 10:00. 188 00:12:19,145 --> 00:12:21,250 - Bye. - No more? 189 00:12:25,736 --> 00:12:29,085 She's going to come back soon. She's on a honeymoon. 190 00:12:32,232 --> 00:12:34,566 I don't know where he went. I don't understand. 191 00:12:39,623 --> 00:12:42,340 - I seem to have lost my mate. - Me too. 192 00:12:42,407 --> 00:12:44,479 I was sure I came in with one. 193 00:12:46,311 --> 00:12:47,969 Nice wedding. 194 00:12:51,110 --> 00:12:53,412 - I'm Phil's nephew. - I know. I'm Edie's... 195 00:12:53,478 --> 00:12:55,071 I know. 196 00:12:55,142 --> 00:12:56,767 - Larry. - I'm Maria. 197 00:12:56,838 --> 00:12:58,562 - Chloe. - Hi. Chloe. 198 00:12:58,630 --> 00:13:00,190 - Are you cold. Sweetheart? - Yeah. 199 00:13:00,262 --> 00:13:02,979 Well. Why don't we go inside. 200 00:13:03,046 --> 00:13:05,053 Yes. That's a good idea. 201 00:13:14,341 --> 00:13:17,602 - You should be a singer. - Thanks. I'll try. 202 00:13:17,668 --> 00:13:20,002 Your wife is very beautiful. 203 00:13:20,069 --> 00:13:22,970 - Have you been married long? - A couple of years. You? 204 00:13:23,044 --> 00:13:24,768 Almost 11. 205 00:13:26,180 --> 00:13:28,035 We were married young. 206 00:13:29,348 --> 00:13:32,609 - Work? - Yes. He sells cars. Subarus. 207 00:13:32,675 --> 00:13:35,709 - No. Do you work? - Me? 208 00:13:35,780 --> 00:13:38,878 Yes. I'm a legal secretary. 209 00:13:39,907 --> 00:13:41,368 And you? 210 00:13:41,443 --> 00:13:43,548 I teach ballroom dancing. 211 00:13:44,419 --> 00:13:46,655 Really? 212 00:13:46,722 --> 00:13:49,722 Would you be more impressed if I said I was a securities analyst? 213 00:13:49,794 --> 00:13:51,485 Because my first wife was. 214 00:13:51,555 --> 00:13:54,042 My father. However. was more impressed... 215 00:13:54,114 --> 00:13:56,285 when I was a real estate broker. 216 00:13:56,354 --> 00:13:58,842 My first wife's friends liked that too. 217 00:13:58,914 --> 00:14:01,118 Everybody was impressed but me. 218 00:14:01,186 --> 00:14:04,601 - And you play the piano too. - No. 219 00:14:06,562 --> 00:14:07,544 Trumpet. 220 00:14:08,673 --> 00:14:10,746 Are you really a dance teacher? 221 00:14:14,369 --> 00:14:16,278 Here you go. This... 222 00:14:16,353 --> 00:14:20,892 entitles you to one free lesson. 223 00:14:20,961 --> 00:14:23,165 - I'm not a very good dancer. - That's okay. 224 00:14:23,233 --> 00:14:25,818 I'm not a very good teacher. 225 00:14:28,096 --> 00:14:31,957 Well. I bet I know somebody who would like to dance. 226 00:14:34,496 --> 00:14:37,016 You're so light. 227 00:14:41,887 --> 00:14:43,709 You're very good with children. 228 00:14:44,767 --> 00:14:48,541 Well. My job gives me a lot of time to spend with my son. 229 00:14:49,951 --> 00:14:51,838 The one with the video camera? 230 00:14:55,038 --> 00:14:58,518 You know. My mother and Phil. they are so sweet. 231 00:15:00,414 --> 00:15:02,934 I felt like crying. but I couldn't. 232 00:15:03,005 --> 00:15:04,566 I never can. 233 00:15:06,493 --> 00:15:08,380 Why am I telling you this? 234 00:15:08,446 --> 00:15:10,649 People tell dance teachers things. 235 00:15:10,717 --> 00:15:12,986 Thank you. Madam. Lovely. 236 00:15:13,053 --> 00:15:16,500 Nobody told me anything when I was in securities. 237 00:15:16,573 --> 00:15:18,711 How many jobs did you have? 238 00:15:18,781 --> 00:15:20,504 I don't know. A lot. 239 00:15:20,573 --> 00:15:22,744 I change every two or three years. 240 00:15:22,812 --> 00:15:25,267 If it looks like I might be successful. I move on. 241 00:15:25,340 --> 00:15:28,274 - You don't want to be successful? - I want to be happy. 242 00:15:29,180 --> 00:15:31,514 Hey. We're getting personal here. 243 00:15:31,580 --> 00:15:35,224 You're learning my secrets. and I don't know a thing about you. 244 00:15:36,315 --> 00:15:37,876 Not an interesting person. 245 00:15:39,035 --> 00:15:40,922 Christ. You... How you doing? 246 00:15:40,988 --> 00:15:42,995 You will not believe what happened to us. 247 00:15:43,067 --> 00:15:46,133 The goddamn car broke down. Where is everybody? 248 00:15:47,451 --> 00:15:49,939 Jesus. I didn't know it was this late. Are you okay? 249 00:15:50,011 --> 00:15:53,010 Tom was just giving me a test drive in his car. 250 00:15:53,082 --> 00:15:56,213 We lost track of time. Tom sells BMWs. 251 00:15:56,282 --> 00:16:00,341 - I thought they were Subarus. - You're in the market for a new car. 252 00:16:00,410 --> 00:16:02,482 We are. Aren't we. Honey? 253 00:16:02,554 --> 00:16:05,303 Your wife and I were talking about putting a set of wheels under you... 254 00:16:05,370 --> 00:16:07,093 at a price you can afford. 255 00:16:07,162 --> 00:16:10,195 Not just any set of wheels. Bavarian Motor Works. 256 00:16:11,289 --> 00:16:14,104 I think a BMW is a little out of our range. 257 00:16:16,056 --> 00:16:18,773 Besides. They're breaking down all the time. 258 00:16:26,968 --> 00:16:29,007 So anyway. As soon as she said... 259 00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:31,764 they were thinking about buying a car. I knew it. 260 00:16:31,832 --> 00:16:33,839 If I could get her behind the wheel. Bingo. 261 00:16:33,912 --> 00:16:37,043 Sale. Commission. full sticker price. 262 00:16:37,112 --> 00:16:39,217 Then the car breaks down. 263 00:16:39,288 --> 00:16:41,524 That's the thing in sales. You concentrate on the woman. 264 00:16:41,591 --> 00:16:43,566 Women always liked you. Tom. 265 00:16:46,263 --> 00:16:47,954 You believe me. Don't you? 266 00:16:48,023 --> 00:16:50,706 Why shouldn't I? You're my husband. 267 00:16:58,582 --> 00:17:00,851 Phil's worth a lot of money. 268 00:17:00,918 --> 00:17:03,373 You really should take him up on his offer. 269 00:17:03,445 --> 00:17:06,293 You're great at collecting junk. 270 00:17:06,358 --> 00:17:08,725 You'd wind up running the company. 271 00:17:11,957 --> 00:17:14,226 My psychic. Mrs. Wong... 272 00:17:14,293 --> 00:17:16,181 is encouraging me to express myself. 273 00:17:16,245 --> 00:17:18,666 She says a lot of attractive women get depressed... 274 00:17:18,741 --> 00:17:22,221 because they think people see nothing but their looks. 275 00:17:28,820 --> 00:17:31,951 She thinks I have sensitivity and talent. Larry. 276 00:17:32,020 --> 00:17:34,441 She says that. 277 00:17:34,516 --> 00:17:36,426 Mrs. Wong is "wight." 278 00:17:38,323 --> 00:17:40,778 I should tell you that more often. I'm sorry. 279 00:17:43,475 --> 00:17:46,770 Would you still slay a dragon for me? 280 00:17:49,651 --> 00:17:51,789 Maybe a baby dragon. 281 00:17:59,346 --> 00:18:02,695 Mrs. Wong gave me a self-improvement tape. Would you like to hear it? 282 00:18:02,770 --> 00:18:04,558 Not right now. 283 00:18:07,794 --> 00:18:10,608 I wouldn't hurt you for anything. You know that. Don't you? 284 00:18:13,362 --> 00:18:15,947 Why would you say that? 285 00:18:16,017 --> 00:18:19,333 Will you dance with me? We never dance anymore. 286 00:18:45,967 --> 00:18:47,527 Oh. I forgot to tell you. 287 00:18:47,599 --> 00:18:50,348 Remember the guy on the news who listened to Ozzy Osbourne so much... 288 00:18:50,415 --> 00:18:53,546 that his parents sued because he became a mass murderer? 289 00:18:53,615 --> 00:18:55,437 Aunt Irene told me today... 290 00:18:55,503 --> 00:18:57,804 she's thinking of suing now because cousin Donald... 291 00:18:57,871 --> 00:18:59,878 listened to Barry Manilow over and over... 292 00:18:59,951 --> 00:19:01,805 and he became a florist. 293 00:19:06,094 --> 00:19:08,647 That bad. Huh? What's up? 294 00:19:09,773 --> 00:19:12,261 It's the blonde on the blue bicycle. Isn't it? 295 00:19:13,101 --> 00:19:14,317 Shut up. 296 00:19:14,445 --> 00:19:18,023 The blonde whose initials are on your Vans? 297 00:19:20,396 --> 00:19:21,606 Shut up. 298 00:19:22,604 --> 00:19:25,986 When I watch you play soccer and the guys go for Gatorade at the break... 299 00:19:26,060 --> 00:19:28,394 you go and talk to the blonde on the blue bicycle. 300 00:19:28,460 --> 00:19:30,086 I said shut up! 301 00:19:30,156 --> 00:19:32,806 - You're not my mother. - I'm just trying to help. Mitchie. 302 00:19:32,875 --> 00:19:34,436 I could give you the girl's point of view. 303 00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:36,547 Tish. Kiss my squirrel! 304 00:19:36,619 --> 00:19:40,197 We will have no squirrel kissing here tonight. 305 00:19:40,267 --> 00:19:42,122 Well. I was just trying to help. 306 00:19:42,187 --> 00:19:44,521 I think I should spend a little time with Mitchie alone. 307 00:19:47,691 --> 00:19:50,112 "Kiss my squirrel"? 308 00:19:50,187 --> 00:19:51,877 Hey. Come on. 309 00:19:53,034 --> 00:19:54,278 Oh. That's very nice. 310 00:19:57,386 --> 00:20:00,801 Go apologize to Tish. Go. Get out of here. 311 00:20:00,874 --> 00:20:04,802 Repeat several times a day... 312 00:20:05,833 --> 00:20:08,321 'I approve... 313 00:20:08,393 --> 00:20:11,262 of myself. 314 00:20:11,337 --> 00:20:13,890 I approve... 315 00:20:13,961 --> 00:20:15,651 of myself. " 316 00:20:21,544 --> 00:20:24,708 You're not throwing quite hard enough. 317 00:20:24,776 --> 00:20:26,783 I hate Leonard Pierson. 318 00:20:26,856 --> 00:20:27,969 Who? 319 00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:30,014 Leonard Pierson... in my class. 320 00:20:30,088 --> 00:20:32,030 He follows me around all the time. 321 00:20:32,104 --> 00:20:33,926 But you shouldn't hate anybody. Chloe. 322 00:20:33,992 --> 00:20:36,359 He tells everyone he loves me. 323 00:20:36,423 --> 00:20:38,048 That is sweet. 324 00:20:38,119 --> 00:20:39,941 You be sweet to him. Okay? 325 00:20:40,007 --> 00:20:41,949 - Bye. - Bye. Mom. 326 00:21:21,381 --> 00:21:24,861 - Hi. Tom. - Bernadette... 327 00:21:24,932 --> 00:21:28,161 Iook. I'm sorry. But we have to stop seeing each other. 328 00:21:29,636 --> 00:21:32,221 - What? - It's just getting too serious. 329 00:21:38,787 --> 00:21:40,478 You're right. 330 00:21:53,090 --> 00:21:55,392 I'll be with you in a minute. okay. Tom? 331 00:22:00,866 --> 00:22:02,720 How is your family? 332 00:22:02,786 --> 00:22:04,728 Olga. Listen. About us... 333 00:22:07,042 --> 00:22:09,889 You've got a new girlfriend. 334 00:22:12,513 --> 00:22:14,968 I can't see you anymore. 335 00:22:15,713 --> 00:22:17,022 Lighten up. 336 00:22:19,265 --> 00:22:20,759 Planned Parenthood. 337 00:22:36,448 --> 00:22:38,684 You're not allowed to talk to the driver. 338 00:22:55,262 --> 00:22:57,433 Would you excuse me just one moment? 339 00:23:01,886 --> 00:23:03,609 - Hi. - What did you tell him? 340 00:23:03,678 --> 00:23:05,783 - Who? - Your husband. About us? 341 00:23:05,854 --> 00:23:07,926 - Nothing. - Good. Keep it that way. 342 00:23:07,997 --> 00:23:11,063 I wanted to make sure you're not a three-beers-and-confession type. 343 00:23:12,605 --> 00:23:14,677 You're a lot different than last night. 344 00:23:15,549 --> 00:23:18,582 Last night never happened. Understand? I've changed my whole life today. 345 00:23:18,652 --> 00:23:20,921 I've cleaned up my act. No more women. 346 00:23:20,988 --> 00:23:23,377 Last night never happened. understand? 347 00:23:23,452 --> 00:23:26,485 And if you ever say it did... if you use the "f" word about us... 348 00:23:26,556 --> 00:23:28,760 if even the "fu" sound comes out of your mouth... 349 00:23:28,828 --> 00:23:31,610 I will denounce you as a liar and home-wrecker. Do you understand? 350 00:23:31,676 --> 00:23:33,465 Miss? 351 00:23:33,532 --> 00:23:37,110 Excuse me. I have to get back to her or her eyeliner will cake. 352 00:23:38,459 --> 00:23:42,071 - Do you understand? - I have an IQ in the triple digits. 353 00:23:42,140 --> 00:23:44,474 What word do you think I didn't understand? 354 00:23:44,539 --> 00:23:48,084 Okay. I just wanted to make sure you understood. 355 00:23:48,154 --> 00:23:50,740 - Are you wearing black underwear? - Yes. 356 00:23:51,962 --> 00:23:53,904 Want to meet me for a drink later? 357 00:23:56,666 --> 00:23:59,982 Kiss my squirrel. 358 00:24:03,738 --> 00:24:06,487 So they drove to a shopping mall... 359 00:24:06,553 --> 00:24:08,692 and parked in back of a supermarket... 360 00:24:08,762 --> 00:24:10,998 behind a Dumpster... 361 00:24:11,065 --> 00:24:15,026 in our car that I make payments on by sweating my ass off... 362 00:24:15,097 --> 00:24:18,031 so she can sweat her ass off inside it. 363 00:24:18,105 --> 00:24:19,960 Sorry. 364 00:24:20,025 --> 00:24:23,570 That car was rocking like an out-of-whack washing machine. 365 00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:26,193 - I went crazy. - Are you getting this down. Maria? 366 00:24:26,264 --> 00:24:28,882 - Yes. I am. Mr. Bergman. - Okay. 367 00:24:28,952 --> 00:24:31,985 I decided to kill her... 368 00:24:32,056 --> 00:24:33,747 but I couldn't. 369 00:24:35,191 --> 00:24:37,874 I love her. 370 00:24:37,943 --> 00:24:40,180 So I shaved her head. 371 00:24:40,247 --> 00:24:42,865 And now see if he wants her. 372 00:24:42,935 --> 00:24:46,284 That is why your wife is suing you for divorce. Mr. Dionne. 373 00:24:48,855 --> 00:24:50,480 Love is shit. 374 00:24:51,607 --> 00:24:53,232 Marriage is shit. 375 00:24:53,302 --> 00:24:55,921 You know. I'm sitting here listening to you editorialize... 376 00:24:55,991 --> 00:24:57,551 Fuck you. Moneybags. 377 00:25:16,149 --> 00:25:18,516 That's my favorite part. Here we go. 378 00:25:18,581 --> 00:25:20,337 All right. Remember... 379 00:25:20,405 --> 00:25:22,161 happy. Happy. Happy. 380 00:25:22,228 --> 00:25:24,050 No. No. We're doing the cha-cha here. 381 00:25:24,116 --> 00:25:26,156 - Sorry. - Remember. Ladies... 382 00:25:26,228 --> 00:25:29,327 it's okay to smile. especially at my jokes. 383 00:25:29,397 --> 00:25:31,436 Ready. And... 384 00:25:31,508 --> 00:25:34,323 cha-cha-cha. Swivel. Swivel... 385 00:25:34,388 --> 00:25:36,843 forward. Back. Forward. 386 00:25:36,916 --> 00:25:39,916 I can't even say it right. Hit him. Maggie. If he does that right. 387 00:25:39,987 --> 00:25:42,027 Let's do it again. Ready. And... 388 00:25:42,099 --> 00:25:44,849 cha-cha-cha. Swivel. Swivel... 389 00:25:44,915 --> 00:25:47,304 forward. Cross. Forward. 390 00:25:47,379 --> 00:25:49,681 Who's leading here? That's all right. You lead. 391 00:25:49,747 --> 00:25:51,983 You're doing a good job. I want these suspenders. 392 00:25:52,050 --> 00:25:55,531 Ready. And... cha-cha-cha. Swivel. Swivel... 393 00:25:55,603 --> 00:25:57,261 forward. Cross. Forward. 394 00:25:57,331 --> 00:26:00,462 Up. Six. Seven. Eight. 395 00:26:00,530 --> 00:26:02,253 And one... 396 00:26:07,761 --> 00:26:10,030 You're going to put me out of work. You're too good. 397 00:26:10,097 --> 00:26:12,879 One more time. Ready. And... 398 00:26:12,946 --> 00:26:16,142 Cha-cha-cha... Oh. My God. No. No. No. 399 00:26:16,209 --> 00:26:19,821 Let me show you one more time. One more time. Everybody. 400 00:26:21,777 --> 00:26:22,671 Mrs. Greenblatt. 401 00:26:33,615 --> 00:26:36,299 You look marvelous. 402 00:26:47,279 --> 00:26:49,799 Magnificent. A thing of beauty. 403 00:26:49,871 --> 00:26:51,431 Thank you. Thank you. 404 00:26:54,094 --> 00:26:56,516 Okay. That's it. Time's up. Everybody. 405 00:26:56,591 --> 00:26:59,820 Practice. Practice. Practice. Yes. Practice. Practice. Practice. 406 00:26:59,887 --> 00:27:03,596 Good-bye. Get out of here. You crazy guys. 407 00:27:03,662 --> 00:27:07,087 Thank you. Get new shoes. Those are not gonna work. 408 00:27:07,214 --> 00:27:09,832 Don't forget to bring your checks next week. 409 00:27:14,158 --> 00:27:16,263 You came for your free lesson. 410 00:27:17,422 --> 00:27:20,171 It's my lunch break. And I thought maybe we could talk. 411 00:27:25,613 --> 00:27:27,653 - Mexican? - It's too heavy. 412 00:27:27,725 --> 00:27:31,107 - I don't know how to say this... - Well. Words are good. 413 00:27:31,181 --> 00:27:33,385 They have fried octopus? 414 00:27:33,453 --> 00:27:35,362 No. I had that for breakfast. 415 00:27:37,516 --> 00:27:40,233 - This is difficult. - Oh. Come on. 416 00:27:40,300 --> 00:27:43,082 It's only lunch. Burgers. 417 00:27:43,148 --> 00:27:45,450 No. Too obvious. 418 00:27:45,516 --> 00:27:48,679 Larry. I need to ask you something. 419 00:27:50,572 --> 00:27:54,466 Do I think that your husband and my wife slept together? 420 00:27:56,587 --> 00:27:58,921 Thank you. It would've taken me a lot longer. 421 00:28:00,298 --> 00:28:03,397 Well. I only have an hour for lunch. 422 00:28:03,467 --> 00:28:04,928 Spuds International. 423 00:28:05,002 --> 00:28:07,239 Everything you ever wanted on a potato and more. 424 00:28:07,307 --> 00:28:10,209 I think they have one with a Buick on it. 425 00:28:10,282 --> 00:28:12,900 Do you think they did? 426 00:28:12,969 --> 00:28:14,660 I don't know. 427 00:28:14,730 --> 00:28:16,934 Only they know. 428 00:28:17,002 --> 00:28:19,490 You don't seem to be upset about it. 429 00:28:19,561 --> 00:28:21,569 Sex isn't that big a deal anyway. 430 00:28:21,641 --> 00:28:24,511 Whether they had sex or not. something happened. 431 00:28:24,586 --> 00:28:27,782 Hey. I believe in people's freedom of choice. 432 00:28:27,849 --> 00:28:30,696 Tish needs to grow up to be her own person. That's me. 433 00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:32,451 What people do is their business. 434 00:28:32,521 --> 00:28:36,383 - That doesn't apply to marriage. - Sounds like you have a choice to make. 435 00:28:36,457 --> 00:28:39,042 And guess what? You're free to make it. 436 00:28:41,064 --> 00:28:43,235 This is great. We hardly know each other... 437 00:28:43,304 --> 00:28:45,857 and we're getting our first argument out of the way. 438 00:28:48,776 --> 00:28:51,426 Are you serious about that freedom stuff? 439 00:28:57,255 --> 00:29:00,571 No! Oh. God. I'm so full of shit! 440 00:29:00,647 --> 00:29:03,494 I'd like to kill them both! I'm sorry. 441 00:29:05,191 --> 00:29:07,165 - I'll pay for it. - It's my fault. 442 00:29:07,238 --> 00:29:10,467 I will pay for the fish. I broke the fish. 443 00:29:10,534 --> 00:29:12,770 I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come. 444 00:29:12,838 --> 00:29:14,846 How much? Never mind. 445 00:29:14,918 --> 00:29:16,576 Wait. Please. 446 00:29:16,646 --> 00:29:18,751 I'm very sorry. 447 00:29:22,949 --> 00:29:25,982 It wasn't easy to come see me today. Was it? 448 00:29:26,053 --> 00:29:27,875 Are you okay? 449 00:29:27,941 --> 00:29:30,429 No. I'm not okay. 450 00:29:30,501 --> 00:29:33,250 That's right. You don't cry. Do you? 451 00:29:34,853 --> 00:29:36,347 Or hit fish. 452 00:29:40,708 --> 00:29:43,578 You know. Tom lately has been really upset about work. 453 00:29:43,652 --> 00:29:46,369 They have these contests... who sells most cars... 454 00:29:46,436 --> 00:29:48,291 and he lost his trip to Las Vegas. 455 00:29:48,356 --> 00:29:50,974 That's a good reason to hump my wife. 456 00:29:51,043 --> 00:29:52,636 I'm sorry. 457 00:29:52,707 --> 00:29:54,812 Listen. Tish is a good person. 458 00:29:54,883 --> 00:29:57,468 She just wants to be appreciated for more than her looks. 459 00:29:57,539 --> 00:29:59,197 She's worried people think she's dumb. 460 00:29:59,267 --> 00:30:02,169 She's not dumb. Tom is very vulnerable to female flattery. 461 00:30:02,243 --> 00:30:04,032 Why do you keep making excuses for your husband? 462 00:30:04,099 --> 00:30:06,008 Because you're making excuses for your wife. 463 00:30:06,083 --> 00:30:07,708 All right. 464 00:30:07,778 --> 00:30:10,331 So. How did you two meet? 465 00:30:10,402 --> 00:30:12,224 We met in high school. 466 00:30:12,290 --> 00:30:14,527 He was an athlete. A big athlete... 467 00:30:14,594 --> 00:30:17,015 and he had a red car he was very proud of. 468 00:30:17,090 --> 00:30:18,977 Girls were crazy about him. 469 00:30:19,042 --> 00:30:21,463 I just came to this country. and I was very shy. 470 00:30:21,538 --> 00:30:23,709 I couldn't believe when he came and talked to me. 471 00:30:23,777 --> 00:30:26,144 He must have said something right to get you to marry him. 472 00:30:26,209 --> 00:30:29,525 No. I was the only girl who wouldn't go to sleep with him. 473 00:30:30,785 --> 00:30:32,411 What about you? 474 00:30:32,481 --> 00:30:35,263 I guess I thought Tish was gonna be different than my first wife. 475 00:30:35,329 --> 00:30:36,855 Surprise. You know. 476 00:30:36,928 --> 00:30:39,383 Turns out she's the bride of Bloomingdale's. 477 00:30:41,664 --> 00:30:44,631 So. What do you want to do? You want to confront them? 478 00:30:44,704 --> 00:30:46,776 They'll just deny it. 479 00:30:46,848 --> 00:30:49,401 We could shave their heads. 480 00:30:49,472 --> 00:30:51,414 What? 481 00:30:51,488 --> 00:30:53,626 I have to go back to work. I'm sorry. 482 00:30:53,695 --> 00:30:56,281 I'm sorry if I spoiled your day. 483 00:30:56,352 --> 00:30:59,134 It was nice not having lunch with you. 484 00:31:00,799 --> 00:31:02,555 Bye. 485 00:31:02,623 --> 00:31:04,445 Good-bye. Maria. 486 00:31:12,575 --> 00:31:15,127 Sweetheart. I'm going to put your flowers in the vase. 487 00:31:15,198 --> 00:31:17,053 You can do your homework. 488 00:31:18,974 --> 00:31:21,210 What's in the box. Daddy? 489 00:31:21,277 --> 00:31:22,935 What's this? 490 00:31:23,005 --> 00:31:24,434 Open it. 491 00:31:25,949 --> 00:31:29,626 And tonight I'm going to make my world-famous garlic chicken Pamplona. 492 00:31:31,869 --> 00:31:34,619 Not only that. I'm going to clean up after I use every pot in the house. 493 00:31:34,685 --> 00:31:36,310 I promise. 494 00:31:37,692 --> 00:31:39,001 This is beautiful. 495 00:31:41,213 --> 00:31:42,805 What's the occasion? 496 00:31:42,876 --> 00:31:45,364 Nothing. Just us. 497 00:31:46,844 --> 00:31:50,772 All of us together. Just one of those nights. 498 00:31:50,844 --> 00:31:53,331 It's nice to have a family. 499 00:31:59,547 --> 00:32:02,482 So. How was your day? 500 00:32:02,555 --> 00:32:05,816 Fine. I had lunch with Larry Kozinski. 501 00:32:07,706 --> 00:32:09,135 - Who? - Larry Kozinski. 502 00:32:09,211 --> 00:32:12,691 I had lunch with him today. Sweetheart. Don't wrinkle it. 503 00:32:12,762 --> 00:32:15,729 Why? What for? 504 00:32:17,401 --> 00:32:20,598 - What did you talk about? - Nothing special. 505 00:32:22,138 --> 00:32:25,334 - Was it a nice lunch? - Mm-hmm. Very nice. 506 00:32:26,682 --> 00:32:28,536 Well. That's fine. 507 00:32:28,601 --> 00:32:31,122 That's good. That's okay. 508 00:32:31,193 --> 00:32:33,364 I'm glad you had a nice day. 509 00:32:33,433 --> 00:32:36,662 Good old Larry. Lunch. 510 00:32:36,729 --> 00:32:39,030 Nice. 511 00:32:39,096 --> 00:32:41,714 Mitchie is... What is it you are again. Mitchie? 512 00:32:41,784 --> 00:32:44,151 I'm a multimedia artist... 513 00:32:44,216 --> 00:32:47,086 but my emphasis is on video. 514 00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:49,014 I'm so excited. 515 00:33:31,029 --> 00:33:32,305 That's her. 516 00:34:07,891 --> 00:34:09,320 You're a goddamn liar! 517 00:34:15,410 --> 00:34:19,087 Cut! Cut! Lights! 518 00:34:22,705 --> 00:34:23,720 Thank you. 519 00:34:26,449 --> 00:34:28,838 How about lunch? 520 00:34:32,817 --> 00:34:36,046 You are a very sick young man. 521 00:34:36,113 --> 00:34:39,528 Alienation. Great. 522 00:34:39,601 --> 00:34:41,543 Interesting work. Mitch. 523 00:34:41,616 --> 00:34:43,078 Thanks. Dad. 524 00:34:43,153 --> 00:34:46,448 What the hell are you doing taking my wife out to lunch? 525 00:34:46,512 --> 00:34:49,327 Actually. We didn't have lunch. 526 00:34:49,392 --> 00:34:51,464 We went for a walk. but my feet broke down... 527 00:34:51,536 --> 00:34:53,675 so we were a little late getting back. 528 00:34:59,343 --> 00:35:01,318 They know. 529 00:35:01,392 --> 00:35:03,115 They know about us. 530 00:35:17,230 --> 00:35:20,874 You work in garbage all week. enjoy nature on the weekends. 531 00:35:27,662 --> 00:35:29,734 Tell me about Larry. 532 00:35:32,333 --> 00:35:34,984 I've asked him a million times to come into the business... 533 00:35:35,053 --> 00:35:39,111 but he wants to change jobs. Dance. 534 00:35:39,181 --> 00:35:41,701 Me. I say this with love. Maria. 535 00:35:41,772 --> 00:35:44,903 Larry is a failure in everything except life. 536 00:35:44,972 --> 00:35:47,176 Come! Dance with me! Yes! 537 00:35:55,084 --> 00:35:57,255 - Follow me. - No. You go. 538 00:35:57,324 --> 00:35:59,179 We're gonna miss you. 539 00:36:01,931 --> 00:36:04,746 Phil. Do you want some cake? Phil? 540 00:36:12,042 --> 00:36:13,187 Come on. Come on! 541 00:36:17,898 --> 00:36:19,174 Something's wrong. 542 00:36:19,242 --> 00:36:21,828 One shot. Man! That's all it'll take... one shot! 543 00:36:21,898 --> 00:36:24,385 - I'm right here! - I won't have it in my house! 544 00:36:24,457 --> 00:36:25,406 Stop. Stop. 545 00:36:25,481 --> 00:36:28,132 Stop it. Stop it. 546 00:36:28,201 --> 00:36:29,695 Mama. 547 00:36:46,312 --> 00:36:48,167 Don't leave me! 548 00:37:06,823 --> 00:37:10,685 "So that even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death... 549 00:37:10,759 --> 00:37:12,962 I fear no evil. for Thou art with me. 550 00:37:13,031 --> 00:37:15,649 Thy rod and thy staff. they comfort me. 551 00:37:15,719 --> 00:37:19,101 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies. 552 00:37:19,174 --> 00:37:20,832 My cup overflows. 553 00:37:20,902 --> 00:37:23,684 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me... 554 00:37:23,750 --> 00:37:25,408 all the days of my life... 555 00:37:25,478 --> 00:37:29,023 and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever." 556 00:37:29,093 --> 00:37:31,908 Let us pray. 557 00:37:31,973 --> 00:37:34,112 "O. God. Whose days are without an end... 558 00:37:34,181 --> 00:37:36,221 Give me back my 50 cents. 559 00:37:36,293 --> 00:37:38,911 - Drive me around this damn town... - Keep your dime. Sport. 560 00:37:38,980 --> 00:37:40,671 just to run up your fare. 561 00:37:40,741 --> 00:37:43,043 What do you think I am. Huh? 562 00:37:43,109 --> 00:37:45,116 A goddamn tourist? 563 00:37:45,189 --> 00:37:46,399 Cheapskate. 564 00:37:50,020 --> 00:37:52,671 Pop. You were supposed to call me. 565 00:37:52,740 --> 00:37:56,187 For what? A ride on that motorcycle of yours? 566 00:37:56,259 --> 00:37:58,266 Good to see you. Son. 567 00:37:58,339 --> 00:38:00,674 - Good God. Is this Mitchell? - How you doing. Grandpa? 568 00:38:00,740 --> 00:38:03,106 I'll be damned. 569 00:38:03,172 --> 00:38:05,473 You're getting to be a big man. Aren't you? 570 00:38:06,691 --> 00:38:09,211 - Let's go. - No. You go ahead. 571 00:38:09,283 --> 00:38:11,617 No. I'll wait right here. 572 00:38:11,683 --> 00:38:15,392 At my age. You don't want to get too close to an open grave. 573 00:38:15,458 --> 00:38:17,597 - Stay with him. Will you? - Sure. 574 00:38:19,618 --> 00:38:23,841 So. Grandpa. How come you didn't come to the church? 575 00:38:23,906 --> 00:38:26,623 God makes me nervous when you get Him indoors. 576 00:38:26,690 --> 00:38:29,340 Besides. I don't like to see people in their coffins. 577 00:38:29,409 --> 00:38:32,191 They always look so much smaller without their spirits. 578 00:38:41,537 --> 00:38:44,832 I was going to bring you a gift. but I forgot. 579 00:38:48,193 --> 00:38:50,527 Think you might like one of these. Huh? 580 00:38:50,592 --> 00:38:51,966 Which one you want? 581 00:38:52,033 --> 00:38:55,578 Hot Patty's Pajama Party or Girls with Big Jugs? 582 00:38:59,871 --> 00:39:02,359 Eat. There's casseroles. Cakes. 583 00:39:02,432 --> 00:39:06,360 I'll have turkey tetrazzini coming out the wazoo. 584 00:39:06,432 --> 00:39:08,603 Everyone loved him so. 585 00:39:08,671 --> 00:39:11,289 Did you see the wreath the boys from the junkyard sent? 586 00:39:12,991 --> 00:39:15,479 Larry! Was it me? Was I too much for him? 587 00:39:15,551 --> 00:39:16,533 No. Edie. 588 00:39:16,606 --> 00:39:18,941 He was the happiest he'd ever been with you. 589 00:39:19,007 --> 00:39:21,854 - I want you to meet my father. Vincent. - My sympathies. 590 00:39:21,918 --> 00:39:25,049 I'm sorry I missed your wedding. My hernia prevented it. 591 00:39:26,398 --> 00:39:29,780 Edie. I'm sorry. I have to go to work. 592 00:39:29,854 --> 00:39:32,275 We are still family even though Phil is gone. 593 00:39:32,350 --> 00:39:34,903 So don't be a stranger. Hmm? 594 00:39:34,974 --> 00:39:36,664 I won't. I promise. 595 00:39:37,405 --> 00:39:39,608 See you later. Bye. Pops. 596 00:39:39,677 --> 00:39:41,564 Nobody takes a day off when a man dies anymore? 597 00:39:41,629 --> 00:39:43,156 Jesus. 598 00:39:45,404 --> 00:39:48,753 You know. Funerals make women really horny. 599 00:39:48,828 --> 00:39:52,854 I never knew Phil all that well. but this is great turkey tetrazzini. 600 00:39:52,924 --> 00:39:54,746 Here. Mommy. 601 00:39:54,812 --> 00:39:56,601 Oh. Thank you. 602 00:39:56,668 --> 00:39:58,522 Look. I got to go show a car. 603 00:39:58,588 --> 00:40:01,238 As long as Chloe's going to stay overnight here... 604 00:40:01,307 --> 00:40:04,024 why don't you meet me about 7:30 and we'll go out to eat? 605 00:40:04,091 --> 00:40:06,033 If Mama doesn't need me. 606 00:40:08,411 --> 00:40:11,575 If your mom doesn't need you. Maybe you can meet me at the showroom. 607 00:40:11,643 --> 00:40:14,643 If Mama doesn't need me. I'll be there at 7:30. 608 00:40:20,699 --> 00:40:23,416 Beauty and the beast. 609 00:40:23,482 --> 00:40:25,937 I'm never going to get married. 610 00:40:26,010 --> 00:40:28,595 You wait. You'll see. You'll get married. Have kids... 611 00:40:28,666 --> 00:40:30,357 have a happy life. 612 00:40:30,426 --> 00:40:33,175 Don't eat too much butter though. 613 00:40:33,241 --> 00:40:34,899 You know what I'd really like to do? 614 00:40:34,969 --> 00:40:37,336 - What? - Kill someone. 615 00:40:37,401 --> 00:40:39,790 Calmly plan a murder. 616 00:40:39,865 --> 00:40:43,443 Choose the victim... maybe even someone political... 617 00:40:43,513 --> 00:40:45,782 so I could do the world some good. You know. 618 00:40:45,849 --> 00:40:48,915 I'd have to think about it first for a few years. 619 00:40:48,985 --> 00:40:51,406 Hey. It can't be any dumber than getting married... 620 00:40:51,480 --> 00:40:53,236 and going to work every day. 621 00:40:53,304 --> 00:40:55,409 I mean. It must be more fun. 622 00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:02,640 Mr. Z... I'm going to be a little late getting back. 623 00:41:04,311 --> 00:41:06,166 It's hard to rush a funeral. 624 00:41:07,415 --> 00:41:09,652 As soon as I can. 625 00:41:13,847 --> 00:41:16,051 - What took you so long? - Just get in the car. 626 00:41:16,119 --> 00:41:19,217 I think you forgot to say please. 627 00:41:19,287 --> 00:41:21,196 Just get in the car. Will you? 628 00:41:22,422 --> 00:41:24,397 Oh. You're so manly. 629 00:41:29,910 --> 00:41:32,659 There. There's my wife. 630 00:41:34,646 --> 00:41:36,500 We were married for 35 years... 631 00:41:36,565 --> 00:41:38,834 and she never once raised her voice to me. 632 00:41:41,877 --> 00:41:45,706 So then you know what it's like to lose someone? 633 00:41:45,781 --> 00:41:47,854 She went into the hospital to have a boil removed... 634 00:41:47,925 --> 00:41:49,353 and never came out. 635 00:41:49,428 --> 00:41:51,948 I moved upstate. bought some gas stations. 636 00:41:52,020 --> 00:41:53,744 I do quite well... 637 00:41:53,813 --> 00:41:57,522 but I've had to learn to live with loneliness. 638 00:41:57,588 --> 00:42:01,614 Life is that way. Who can explain it? 639 00:42:01,684 --> 00:42:05,328 I thought Phil and I would share the rest of our lives together. 640 00:42:06,355 --> 00:42:10,632 Now. All I have left is his share of the garbage company. 641 00:42:10,707 --> 00:42:14,351 What am I going to do with a garbage company? 642 00:42:14,419 --> 00:42:17,136 I don't know anything about business. 643 00:42:19,634 --> 00:42:22,503 Perhaps you would be interested in buying me out? 644 00:42:25,042 --> 00:42:27,245 Well. Maybe I could give you something... 645 00:42:27,314 --> 00:42:29,702 for your part of the business. 646 00:42:29,778 --> 00:42:31,665 Something? 647 00:42:31,730 --> 00:42:34,926 What neighborhood of something would we be talking about? 648 00:42:42,161 --> 00:42:44,649 - You'll be all right? - Bye. Mom. 649 00:42:44,721 --> 00:42:46,990 See you in the city. Son. I'm taking Mitchie with me. 650 00:42:47,057 --> 00:42:49,446 I don't think riding on that thing is good for his gonads. 651 00:42:49,521 --> 00:42:52,335 - My sympathies. Maria. - Bye. 652 00:42:53,968 --> 00:42:55,757 Good-bye. Larry. Thank you. 653 00:42:55,824 --> 00:42:58,126 - Bye-bye. - Are you coming with us. Maria? 654 00:43:18,062 --> 00:43:21,160 Why are we here? I thought you were taking me home. 655 00:43:21,229 --> 00:43:23,979 - Do you want to go home? I'll take you. - No. That's all right. 656 00:43:24,046 --> 00:43:25,868 I just wondered. 657 00:43:25,933 --> 00:43:28,104 What were you singing? 658 00:43:28,173 --> 00:43:29,864 I wasn't singing. 659 00:43:29,933 --> 00:43:33,315 You just didn't think I could hear you over the engine. But I could. 660 00:43:33,389 --> 00:43:36,488 You don't cry at weddings. but you sing at funerals. 661 00:43:36,557 --> 00:43:38,728 You told me you weren't an interesting person. 662 00:43:38,797 --> 00:43:41,480 - I'm not. - Come on. What were you singing? 663 00:43:43,149 --> 00:43:45,669 I don't sing for people. It's private. 664 00:43:45,740 --> 00:43:48,358 Oh. Well. Hum a few bars then. 665 00:43:52,907 --> 00:43:54,762 What song is that? 666 00:43:58,059 --> 00:44:00,709 Boy. I still have no idea. 667 00:44:00,779 --> 00:44:02,852 It's a Beatles song. Come on. Guess. 668 00:44:02,923 --> 00:44:05,410 I hate to break this to you. but that tune has no resemblance... 669 00:44:05,483 --> 00:44:08,101 to any song the Beatles ever recorded. 670 00:44:08,170 --> 00:44:10,112 It's "The Long and Winding Road." 671 00:44:10,186 --> 00:44:12,291 Oh. No. No. that goes more like... 672 00:44:16,426 --> 00:44:18,914 You're worse than I am. 673 00:44:18,986 --> 00:44:22,215 - Are you going to push me off? - I thought you trusted me. 674 00:44:22,282 --> 00:44:24,169 Here. Hold on to my shoulders. Ready? 675 00:44:24,233 --> 00:44:26,306 Push against me. 676 00:44:26,377 --> 00:44:27,970 Whoa! Isn't that exciting? 677 00:44:28,041 --> 00:44:29,470 I guess so. 678 00:44:31,977 --> 00:44:33,700 Come here. 679 00:44:37,705 --> 00:44:39,909 - My boat. - It's great. 680 00:44:39,977 --> 00:44:42,660 - I mean. It could be great. - She could be great. 681 00:44:42,728 --> 00:44:45,117 You always refer to a boat as a female. 682 00:44:45,193 --> 00:44:46,240 Why? 683 00:44:46,312 --> 00:44:48,646 I guess if you're some sweaty sailor out at sea for a year... 684 00:44:48,712 --> 00:44:51,395 you need to use your imagination. 685 00:44:51,463 --> 00:44:54,529 What are you going to do with she? 686 00:44:54,599 --> 00:44:59,268 I'm going to fix her up and sail off into the sunset. 687 00:44:59,336 --> 00:45:01,670 You have a rich fantasy life. don't you? 688 00:45:03,591 --> 00:45:05,762 Don't you? Don't you have fantasies? 689 00:45:05,831 --> 00:45:07,805 I do. But they're private. 690 00:45:07,879 --> 00:45:09,734 I don't tell them to anybody. 691 00:45:09,799 --> 00:45:13,727 - Not even a dance teacher? - You're not just a dance teacher. 692 00:45:13,798 --> 00:45:15,707 I can't figure out what you are. 693 00:45:15,782 --> 00:45:18,018 Hey. Isn't that what everybody wants... 694 00:45:18,087 --> 00:45:20,258 a smooth-sailing life? 695 00:45:20,326 --> 00:45:22,180 You can achieve that for a minute... 696 00:45:22,246 --> 00:45:24,351 out on the dance floor or the water. 697 00:45:26,533 --> 00:45:28,388 Look how lovely. 698 00:45:32,549 --> 00:45:35,844 - That one would look great on you. - Tom hates me in hats. 699 00:45:35,909 --> 00:45:37,436 Then I'll buy it for you. 700 00:45:40,932 --> 00:45:44,707 But the look on Tom's face... 701 00:45:44,772 --> 00:45:47,489 We'll take that one right there. 702 00:45:47,556 --> 00:45:50,720 What does your wife hate you to wear? 703 00:45:50,788 --> 00:45:53,722 Boxer shorts. She doesn't think they're sexy. 704 00:45:53,796 --> 00:45:55,651 Oh. I think they're very sexy. 705 00:45:57,476 --> 00:45:59,450 We're gonna be bad. We're gonna be so bad. 706 00:46:05,443 --> 00:46:08,509 Hey. I got him. He's gonna buy a 325 loaded. 707 00:46:08,579 --> 00:46:11,742 Chrome wheels. Tinted glass. alarm. Phone. Wool carpets. 708 00:46:11,810 --> 00:46:15,738 Two more Beamers and l... I win your trip to Vegas. 709 00:46:16,706 --> 00:46:20,535 - I don't even like the color. - Just sit in it. 710 00:46:20,610 --> 00:46:22,465 I don't like it. 711 00:46:33,793 --> 00:46:35,768 Listen... 712 00:46:35,841 --> 00:46:39,867 the beauty of the Subaru is that it is so cost-efficient... 713 00:46:39,936 --> 00:46:42,903 that I bet a woman like you could talk him into one for him... 714 00:46:42,976 --> 00:46:44,318 and then one for yourself. 715 00:46:45,472 --> 00:46:47,196 Do this. 716 00:46:47,264 --> 00:46:50,231 Let me take you for a test drive in that little blue wagon. 717 00:47:11,135 --> 00:47:13,022 Look this way. Now see there? 718 00:47:13,086 --> 00:47:15,191 Want to go up further that way? 719 00:47:15,262 --> 00:47:17,433 - This way? - Yeah. That's good. 720 00:47:17,502 --> 00:47:19,706 You're really doing that well. 721 00:47:19,774 --> 00:47:22,196 I need to talk to you. 722 00:47:22,270 --> 00:47:23,797 I'm with a customer... 723 00:47:23,870 --> 00:47:26,837 but if you're interested in a makeover. you'll have to wait your turn. 724 00:47:26,910 --> 00:47:28,568 Now. I want you to try the dusty rose. 725 00:47:28,638 --> 00:47:30,972 - This is important. - So is my career. 726 00:47:31,037 --> 00:47:32,630 Line right there. 727 00:47:32,701 --> 00:47:35,352 I'm with a customer. 728 00:47:38,173 --> 00:47:39,929 - Now that. That works. - Yeah? 729 00:47:39,997 --> 00:47:42,233 Yeah. That definitely works. 730 00:47:42,301 --> 00:47:45,268 Your husband is having an affair with my wife. 731 00:47:47,612 --> 00:47:50,362 You are insane. 732 00:47:50,428 --> 00:47:53,297 If I had any idea how insane you were... 733 00:47:53,372 --> 00:47:55,608 I would never have let you start up with me. 734 00:47:56,476 --> 00:47:58,451 What? You seduced me! 735 00:48:01,307 --> 00:48:04,209 I'm sorry. I'll be right back. 736 00:48:04,283 --> 00:48:06,170 Take your time. Honey. 737 00:48:10,203 --> 00:48:13,105 Your opinion of Larry is a tribute... 738 00:48:13,179 --> 00:48:15,797 to your insensitivity to other human beings. 739 00:48:15,867 --> 00:48:19,543 Larry would never have sex with someone like your wife. 740 00:48:19,611 --> 00:48:24,247 I'm not worried about sex. I'm worried about them having a relationship. 741 00:48:24,314 --> 00:48:26,136 You've ruined my life. 742 00:48:26,202 --> 00:48:28,787 And you are jeopardizing my new job here... 743 00:48:28,858 --> 00:48:31,705 as assistant manager of this department... 744 00:48:31,769 --> 00:48:35,959 so if you'd like a private consultation. please call for an appointment. 745 00:48:36,025 --> 00:48:39,254 And if you ever come here and upset me again... 746 00:48:39,320 --> 00:48:43,182 I will have the security guards throw you out of the store. 747 00:48:45,912 --> 00:48:49,425 - Now. Where were we? - Making the lips fuller. 748 00:48:49,496 --> 00:48:51,951 So I burned her underwear. So what? I'll buy her more. 749 00:48:52,024 --> 00:48:53,682 He's sick. He's a beast. 750 00:48:53,752 --> 00:48:56,174 How am I supposed to go anywhere looking like this? 751 00:48:56,247 --> 00:48:58,222 In some countries. bald is considered attractive. 752 00:48:58,296 --> 00:49:01,329 - I didn't marry you for looks anyway. - I want a divorce. 753 00:49:01,399 --> 00:49:04,595 Her and that lowlife appliance salesman aren't getting a dime. 754 00:49:04,663 --> 00:49:08,591 Excuse me. I'm sorry. Folks. but we're very late. 755 00:49:08,663 --> 00:49:11,281 I had no idea your job was so dangerous. 756 00:49:11,351 --> 00:49:12,464 Why are we running? 757 00:49:12,535 --> 00:49:15,055 - How about lunch? - I'm not hungry. 758 00:49:15,127 --> 00:49:17,069 Good. 759 00:49:23,414 --> 00:49:26,611 - Fish must be so happy. - They must be. 760 00:49:26,678 --> 00:49:29,939 They have mating rituals like Italian operas. 761 00:49:30,005 --> 00:49:32,820 I hate to leave. This was such a great idea. 762 00:49:32,885 --> 00:49:35,754 Let's call in sick. Maggie can take my classes. 763 00:49:35,829 --> 00:49:38,098 - I can't call in sick. - Then call in well. 764 00:49:38,165 --> 00:49:40,075 Tell your boss it's too beautiful a day... 765 00:49:40,149 --> 00:49:42,004 to take notes on other people's problems. 766 00:49:42,069 --> 00:49:44,557 I'll call for you. You want me to? 767 00:49:44,629 --> 00:49:46,538 No. I'll call for myself. 768 00:49:50,676 --> 00:49:52,945 If the lake were to swallow me up right now... 769 00:49:53,012 --> 00:49:55,565 I would die a happy man. 770 00:49:56,692 --> 00:49:59,506 It has been a long time since I have been this happy too. 771 00:50:01,268 --> 00:50:02,926 Is it just me... 772 00:50:02,995 --> 00:50:06,094 or do you also have this uncontrollable desire... 773 00:50:06,164 --> 00:50:08,018 to put our lips together? 774 00:50:11,667 --> 00:50:13,293 We can't. 775 00:50:13,363 --> 00:50:15,599 You're right. We can't. 776 00:50:16,786 --> 00:50:18,477 Why can't we? 777 00:50:20,915 --> 00:50:23,467 Have you ever cheated on Tish? 778 00:50:23,538 --> 00:50:25,448 Once... 779 00:50:25,522 --> 00:50:27,147 in Monopoly. 780 00:50:27,218 --> 00:50:30,251 I stole all her good properties while she was doing her nails. 781 00:50:31,281 --> 00:50:34,150 - How about you? - A Catholic schoolgirl? 782 00:50:34,225 --> 00:50:35,719 - Yeah. - No. 783 00:50:37,873 --> 00:50:39,400 So what will happen to us? 784 00:50:40,881 --> 00:50:44,197 Well. We could be lovers or we could be friends. 785 00:50:44,272 --> 00:50:46,694 We are friends. 786 00:50:46,769 --> 00:50:47,979 If we are lovers... 787 00:50:48,049 --> 00:50:50,154 we have to lie. 788 00:50:50,225 --> 00:50:51,850 I don't think I can do that. 789 00:50:51,920 --> 00:50:54,790 Yeah. Me either. 790 00:50:54,864 --> 00:50:57,831 Could we make love once and then never see each other again? 791 00:51:05,039 --> 00:51:06,413 Friends then. 792 00:51:06,479 --> 00:51:09,447 Very special friends. 793 00:51:09,519 --> 00:51:11,974 Tom and Tish will be insane with jealousy. 794 00:51:12,047 --> 00:51:14,797 So what? Who cares? We're gonna be innocent. 795 00:51:16,367 --> 00:51:18,733 We'll be this great couple. Years from now... 796 00:51:18,799 --> 00:51:21,035 we'll be in the Guinness Book of Records. 797 00:51:21,102 --> 00:51:24,877 "Twenty years." people will say. "and they never had sex." 798 00:51:24,942 --> 00:51:27,331 "You're kidding me." "No. It's true." 799 00:51:28,366 --> 00:51:32,457 And all those years. I'll be dreaming of kissing you. 800 00:51:33,485 --> 00:51:36,355 With tongue or without? 801 00:51:36,429 --> 00:51:39,277 How about just one? 802 00:51:39,341 --> 00:51:42,210 Friends. Remember. 803 00:51:42,285 --> 00:51:44,586 What do you do on the weekend? 804 00:51:44,653 --> 00:51:47,435 I spend as much time as I can with Chloe. 805 00:51:47,501 --> 00:51:49,639 Tom loves to go to restaurants he cannot afford... 806 00:51:49,708 --> 00:51:52,839 then complains all through dinner. 807 00:51:52,908 --> 00:51:54,370 - Bye. - Bye. 808 00:51:57,675 --> 00:51:59,530 Let's pretend to meet at a restaurant. 809 00:52:03,820 --> 00:52:06,275 - Saturday night? - I'll bring my father. 810 00:52:08,843 --> 00:52:10,697 Mario's. 9:00. 811 00:52:14,090 --> 00:52:15,552 Did you let it breathe? 812 00:52:15,627 --> 00:52:17,896 Sir. I personally gave it mouth-to-mouth. 813 00:52:23,850 --> 00:52:25,824 Excellent. 814 00:52:25,897 --> 00:52:27,686 Does anyone ever send it back? 815 00:52:27,754 --> 00:52:29,609 Not the house wine. Sir. 816 00:52:40,073 --> 00:52:42,244 Look who's here. 817 00:52:42,312 --> 00:52:44,865 Hey. Iook who's here. What a coincidence. 818 00:52:44,937 --> 00:52:46,114 Hi. 819 00:52:46,184 --> 00:52:49,567 - Come join us. - Yes. By all means. 820 00:52:49,640 --> 00:52:52,006 Really? What do you think? That'd be fun. 821 00:52:52,072 --> 00:52:53,501 What do you say? That would be great. 822 00:52:57,031 --> 00:52:59,366 I've always wanted to come here. 823 00:52:59,432 --> 00:53:01,537 Are those children's portions? 824 00:53:01,608 --> 00:53:03,713 The flowers are bigger than the food. 825 00:53:03,784 --> 00:53:05,474 Can we get more wine. Please? 826 00:53:05,543 --> 00:53:09,918 Look at all these self-satisfied pigs stuffing themselves. 827 00:53:09,991 --> 00:53:10,973 People are starving. 828 00:53:11,974 --> 00:53:14,941 I wish someone with an Uzi would walk in here... 829 00:53:15,014 --> 00:53:16,956 and take all this jewelry everyone's showing off. 830 00:53:17,030 --> 00:53:19,877 They're just symbols of a sick society. 831 00:53:19,942 --> 00:53:22,463 Hey. I started out pumping gas when I was your age. 832 00:53:22,534 --> 00:53:24,388 Now I own my own string of stations. 833 00:53:24,453 --> 00:53:26,875 That could only happen in this society. 834 00:53:26,950 --> 00:53:29,088 Please make them stop. Larry. 835 00:53:29,157 --> 00:53:31,907 I think everybody's entitled to their opinion. Don't you. Edie? 836 00:53:31,974 --> 00:53:34,243 Oh. Yes. As long as they agree with mine. 837 00:53:41,541 --> 00:53:43,428 So how do you like this wine. Vince? 838 00:53:43,493 --> 00:53:46,722 I'd rather have a case of the clap than a case of this wine. 839 00:53:46,788 --> 00:53:48,381 Pop... 840 00:53:51,460 --> 00:53:54,493 - See these prices here? - I think Phil would've wanted you... 841 00:53:54,563 --> 00:53:56,702 to take us all to dinner. 842 00:53:56,772 --> 00:53:59,838 I think Phil would have wanted you and me to split it. 843 00:54:03,011 --> 00:54:04,702 - To Phil. - Yeah. 844 00:54:04,771 --> 00:54:06,364 - To Phil. - To Phil. 845 00:54:15,555 --> 00:54:16,864 Excuse me. 846 00:54:19,138 --> 00:54:21,407 - What's wrong with her? - I don't know. 847 00:54:21,474 --> 00:54:25,467 - She went to the ladies' room. I'll go. - No. Mama. I'll go. 848 00:54:39,072 --> 00:54:41,145 - Open up. - Go away. 849 00:54:41,217 --> 00:54:43,224 Come on. Let me in. 850 00:54:43,297 --> 00:54:45,566 Please. Leave me alone. 851 00:54:51,072 --> 00:54:54,367 You bought him those terrible boxer shorts. Didn't you? 852 00:54:54,431 --> 00:54:57,814 I didn't mean anything by it. It was just a joke. 853 00:54:58,976 --> 00:55:02,075 Tom said you were having an affair. but I didn't believe him... 854 00:55:02,144 --> 00:55:04,827 until I saw the way you looked at each other. 855 00:55:06,111 --> 00:55:08,183 We're not having an affair. 856 00:55:08,255 --> 00:55:11,517 We have been playing a little game to get back at you and Tom. 857 00:55:12,511 --> 00:55:15,806 It's just gone too far. I'm sorry. 858 00:55:15,870 --> 00:55:18,685 She's so nice. 859 00:55:18,750 --> 00:55:20,660 She's so nice. 860 00:55:26,526 --> 00:55:28,981 - Go get us some ice cream. - But I don't want to miss anything. 861 00:55:29,053 --> 00:55:31,606 - Ice cream! - Please get us some ice cream. Mitch. 862 00:55:31,677 --> 00:55:32,822 Don't talk to him like that. 863 00:55:37,213 --> 00:55:38,740 Tish. Wait a minute. 864 00:55:38,813 --> 00:55:41,082 - Son? - What? 865 00:55:41,149 --> 00:55:43,734 - Are you bedding that woman? - Tish? 866 00:55:43,804 --> 00:55:46,619 I hope you're bedding your own wife. No. The other one. Maria. 867 00:55:46,684 --> 00:55:49,302 - No. Pop. I'm not. - You sure as hell act like it. 868 00:55:49,372 --> 00:55:52,471 - Both of you. - Well. I'm not. We're just friends. 869 00:55:52,540 --> 00:55:54,449 Well. Then. get your house in order. 870 00:55:54,524 --> 00:55:57,077 Pop. If you don't stop bossing people around... 871 00:55:57,148 --> 00:55:59,733 You know that tall building over there? It's called the Hilton. 872 00:56:03,003 --> 00:56:06,102 Tish. Come on. Sweetheart. 873 00:56:06,172 --> 00:56:09,139 Tish. Come on. You're making a big deal out of nothing. 874 00:56:09,211 --> 00:56:11,545 Tish. Open up. 875 00:56:11,611 --> 00:56:13,498 Come on. Sweetheart. 876 00:56:13,563 --> 00:56:16,432 You're not doing anything stupid in there. Are you? 877 00:56:22,266 --> 00:56:24,633 We haven't seen this outfit for a while. Have we? 878 00:56:26,746 --> 00:56:29,364 You're sure you don't want to talk about this. Huh? 879 00:56:29,434 --> 00:56:30,546 Guess not. 880 00:56:32,665 --> 00:56:34,607 Phil? Oh. God. 881 00:56:34,681 --> 00:56:37,015 What's happening? 882 00:56:39,513 --> 00:56:41,302 What? 883 00:56:41,369 --> 00:56:43,638 Oh. Great. You think I'm too young to talk about sex? 884 00:56:43,705 --> 00:56:46,323 Is that it? You know. I've had sex. 885 00:56:46,392 --> 00:56:49,075 - Yeah. Sure you have. - I have. 886 00:56:49,144 --> 00:56:51,599 She was 300 pounds. 887 00:56:51,672 --> 00:56:56,407 When I was on top of her. I was so high my arms and legs didn't touch the bed. 888 00:56:56,472 --> 00:56:59,221 And when she breathed. I flew up and down like I was on a trampoline. 889 00:57:01,336 --> 00:57:03,856 Why the hell do you make up all this nonsense? 890 00:57:03,927 --> 00:57:06,927 I'm a multimedia artist. That's what I do... make up nonsense. 891 00:57:12,567 --> 00:57:14,322 Do you still have sex? 892 00:57:14,391 --> 00:57:16,943 Rarely. 893 00:57:17,014 --> 00:57:20,309 - Do you miss it? - Yeah. Oh. God. 894 00:57:20,375 --> 00:57:21,901 Then why don't you have it? 895 00:57:24,887 --> 00:57:27,342 I've just been thinking the same thing. 896 00:57:42,421 --> 00:57:44,079 Smile. 897 00:57:44,149 --> 00:57:45,076 Good. 898 00:57:45,141 --> 00:57:49,364 Welcome to Weddingland. And which joyous event will you be attending? 899 00:57:51,572 --> 00:57:55,085 The Crystal Gazebo. A right. Then a left. 900 00:57:55,156 --> 00:57:57,327 Dusty. Will you take them? 901 00:58:01,812 --> 00:58:03,241 The Pink Rose Chapel. 902 00:58:03,316 --> 00:58:05,487 Isn't it romantic 903 00:58:05,556 --> 00:58:08,971 Music in the night A dream that can be heard 904 00:58:09,044 --> 00:58:11,345 Isn't it romantic 905 00:58:11,411 --> 00:58:15,273 Morning shadows write the oldest magic word 906 00:58:15,347 --> 00:58:16,874 Give me a kiss. 907 00:58:22,162 --> 00:58:24,617 Let me see the gut. Let me see the gut. 908 00:58:24,690 --> 00:58:27,211 No X-rated pictures. you bad boy. 909 00:58:27,282 --> 00:58:30,217 Weddings are joyful occasions. 910 00:58:30,290 --> 00:58:33,486 - They're pagan rituals. - He's got it under control. 911 00:58:33,553 --> 00:58:35,560 - Dad. I had the shot. - I know. 912 00:58:37,393 --> 00:58:39,433 How are you? 913 00:58:39,506 --> 00:58:41,611 Is that a dress you wear to a wedding? 914 00:58:41,682 --> 00:58:43,853 I made it. My own design. 915 00:58:43,921 --> 00:58:45,514 - See you later. - Bye. 916 00:58:46,545 --> 00:58:49,097 That's a dress you wear to a hooker's wedding. 917 00:58:49,168 --> 00:58:51,983 - Good to see you again. Edie. - Hi. Vince. 918 00:58:52,048 --> 00:58:53,575 How do you do? 919 00:59:24,623 --> 00:59:25,932 Mr. D... how are you? 920 00:59:38,541 --> 00:59:40,265 A time for love 921 00:59:48,397 --> 00:59:50,535 It's too loud. 922 00:59:54,060 --> 00:59:55,621 That is a beautiful dress. 923 00:59:56,557 --> 00:59:59,720 - Here's looking at you. Kid. - Weddings really turn me on. 924 01:00:04,012 --> 01:00:06,826 Music going all the time. Fantastic. 925 01:00:06,892 --> 01:00:08,102 I can't live without music. 926 01:00:08,172 --> 01:00:10,408 Look at her. 927 01:00:10,475 --> 01:00:13,704 Look at her. It's not enough she killed the first one. 928 01:00:13,771 --> 01:00:17,251 Now she's out to kill the brother too. 929 01:00:17,323 --> 01:00:19,428 The kiss of death. 930 01:00:21,291 --> 01:00:23,876 You're a sight for sore eyes. You know that. Don't you? 931 01:00:25,163 --> 01:00:28,708 I'm an old. Ionely woman. My life is over. 932 01:00:28,778 --> 01:00:31,200 I try to be a good grandmother now. 933 01:00:31,275 --> 01:00:33,696 I'm thinking of making jam. 934 01:00:33,770 --> 01:00:35,493 I like your shoes. 935 01:00:35,562 --> 01:00:37,951 It shows off your bubble gum toes. 936 01:00:38,986 --> 01:00:40,873 What was I saying? 937 01:00:40,937 --> 01:00:43,392 Giving me that crap about being old. 938 01:00:46,538 --> 01:00:48,709 Ladies and gentlemen, at this time... 939 01:00:48,777 --> 01:00:52,355 we're so happy to bring up to the dance floor for their first dance... 940 01:00:52,425 --> 01:00:56,036 Mr. And Mrs. Dean Kozinski. 941 01:00:56,104 --> 01:01:00,327 See the stone set in your eyes 942 01:01:00,392 --> 01:01:03,905 See the thorn twist in your side 943 01:01:06,664 --> 01:01:08,933 - Dance with me. - Sure. 944 01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:10,374 What? 945 01:01:11,592 --> 01:01:14,145 - Somebody dance with me. - Sure. 946 01:01:14,216 --> 01:01:15,776 What are you doing? 947 01:01:19,432 --> 01:01:21,341 And you give 948 01:01:21,415 --> 01:01:23,324 And you give 949 01:01:23,399 --> 01:01:27,076 And you give yourself away 950 01:01:27,143 --> 01:01:30,274 With or without you 951 01:01:31,622 --> 01:01:34,339 With or without you 952 01:01:35,910 --> 01:01:38,909 I can't live 953 01:01:39,942 --> 01:01:43,138 With or without you 954 01:01:47,718 --> 01:01:49,889 Go dance with your wife. 955 01:02:10,084 --> 01:02:12,255 Why don't we go for a walk? 956 01:02:27,011 --> 01:02:29,280 The marriage business is sure booming. 957 01:02:30,434 --> 01:02:32,289 Business is right. 958 01:02:39,969 --> 01:02:41,824 Would you and your wife like a piece of cake? 959 01:02:41,889 --> 01:02:44,540 Thank you. But she's not my wife. 960 01:02:44,610 --> 01:02:47,327 In that case. can I have your phone number? 961 01:02:47,393 --> 01:02:49,302 - What are you doing? - Congratulations. 962 01:02:49,377 --> 01:02:50,904 Thank you. Kidding. 963 01:02:52,705 --> 01:02:55,487 What do you think we would be like as a married couple? 964 01:02:55,553 --> 01:02:57,822 Horrendous. Awful. 965 01:02:57,889 --> 01:03:00,671 Sure. At first you'd find me witty. Charming. 966 01:03:00,736 --> 01:03:03,703 Fall in love with those cute sounds I make in the morning. 967 01:03:03,776 --> 01:03:06,623 But then in about three months you'd want to smother me with a pillow... 968 01:03:06,688 --> 01:03:08,598 'cause I talk too much. 969 01:03:08,672 --> 01:03:10,133 I love our talks. 970 01:03:10,208 --> 01:03:12,728 We talk now 'cause we're not married. 971 01:03:15,328 --> 01:03:17,499 - They're in love! - They're not in love. 972 01:03:17,567 --> 01:03:19,029 They are. 973 01:03:19,103 --> 01:03:22,038 And it's our fault. I'm out. 974 01:03:22,111 --> 01:03:24,412 They're not in love. Here. 975 01:03:24,478 --> 01:03:26,999 Have some of mine. 976 01:03:27,071 --> 01:03:29,754 Why are you being so nice to me? To make them jealous. Right? 977 01:03:29,823 --> 01:03:31,994 I've always been nice to you. 978 01:03:33,086 --> 01:03:36,053 - Never. - Then how come you had sex with me? 979 01:03:37,086 --> 01:03:40,566 I thought you were intelligent and going somewhere with your life. 980 01:03:40,638 --> 01:03:42,972 But I've had cause to reconsider my first opinion. 981 01:03:43,038 --> 01:03:45,787 I'm goin' somewhere. You think I'm gonna sell Subarus forever. 982 01:03:45,853 --> 01:03:47,544 Plus. I have a lot of deep thoughts. 983 01:03:48,477 --> 01:03:51,924 I just have a hard time talkin' to women. 984 01:03:51,997 --> 01:03:53,852 You're talking to me. 985 01:03:54,877 --> 01:03:57,146 You're different. 986 01:03:57,213 --> 01:03:58,162 How? 987 01:03:58,236 --> 01:04:00,276 I don't know. Different. 988 01:04:01,372 --> 01:04:03,227 Different than Maria. 989 01:04:09,532 --> 01:04:12,314 Maria's too good for me. 990 01:04:15,100 --> 01:04:18,515 If Larry got a good job and stopped playing that trumpet... 991 01:04:18,587 --> 01:04:20,114 I could be happy. 992 01:04:20,187 --> 01:04:22,740 And I wouldn't be attracted to someone like you. 993 01:04:22,811 --> 01:04:24,666 What the hell does that mean. someone like me? 994 01:04:24,731 --> 01:04:27,698 Hi-ho, the derry-o The bride cuts the cake 995 01:04:27,771 --> 01:04:29,778 The bride cuts the cake 996 01:04:32,090 --> 01:04:34,229 Where the hell you been? Where you been? 997 01:04:34,299 --> 01:04:36,437 - Where the hell's my wife? - Tom. You're drunk. 998 01:04:36,506 --> 01:04:38,961 Where's Maria? Have you seen her? Don't worry about it. 999 01:04:39,034 --> 01:04:41,271 Come watch them cut the cake. 1000 01:04:41,338 --> 01:04:44,240 - That's an idea. - Stop. Tom. Stop. 1001 01:04:53,017 --> 01:04:54,577 Mama. The cake! 1002 01:04:54,649 --> 01:04:56,559 I know. Hon. Don't... 1003 01:04:56,632 --> 01:04:59,153 Mama. Will you open the door? 1004 01:04:59,225 --> 01:05:01,079 You go straight. 1005 01:05:11,896 --> 01:05:14,863 Sweetheart. Are you going to be sick again? 1006 01:05:15,895 --> 01:05:17,422 Lie still. Dear. 1007 01:05:18,263 --> 01:05:20,052 I'll get a Hefty bag. 1008 01:05:20,599 --> 01:05:22,454 Can I use a phone to call a cab? 1009 01:05:22,519 --> 01:05:24,374 Don't be ridiculous. Take my car. 1010 01:05:24,439 --> 01:05:27,156 I'll stay here tonight. You can bring it back tomorrow... 1011 01:05:27,223 --> 01:05:29,427 with a full tank of gas. 1012 01:05:29,495 --> 01:05:31,600 I'll bring it back tomorrow on one condition... 1013 01:05:31,671 --> 01:05:33,525 pick you up to have dinner. 1014 01:05:34,998 --> 01:05:36,525 We are not compatible. 1015 01:05:36,598 --> 01:05:38,670 Come on. Dinner. 1016 01:05:38,742 --> 01:05:40,116 On me. 1017 01:05:42,486 --> 01:05:43,947 All right. 1018 01:05:44,021 --> 01:05:47,316 - You made an old man very happy. - You are not so old. 1019 01:05:47,382 --> 01:05:49,487 Yeah. I know. and I'm not so happy. 1020 01:06:06,420 --> 01:06:08,362 He'll be fine. 1021 01:06:08,436 --> 01:06:10,705 This is so crazy. We haven't done anything. 1022 01:06:10,772 --> 01:06:12,594 They think we have. 1023 01:06:20,883 --> 01:06:22,476 We have to stop. 1024 01:06:22,547 --> 01:06:23,922 I know. 1025 01:06:25,652 --> 01:06:27,756 It's so unfair. 1026 01:06:27,826 --> 01:06:29,998 You've become my best friend. 1027 01:06:34,227 --> 01:06:36,616 Don't you know. married men and women... 1028 01:06:36,690 --> 01:06:39,690 are only allowed to be close friends in large groups? 1029 01:06:43,730 --> 01:06:45,257 For Tish. 1030 01:06:54,865 --> 01:06:56,720 I'm gonna miss you. 1031 01:07:06,096 --> 01:07:09,096 - Mitch. Don't do that. - It's so cool. 1032 01:07:09,168 --> 01:07:10,957 Just don't. 1033 01:07:11,024 --> 01:07:12,878 Feeling better? 1034 01:07:12,944 --> 01:07:15,278 Do you want me to leave? 1035 01:07:17,199 --> 01:07:19,949 I will if you want me to. 1036 01:07:20,015 --> 01:07:23,048 I've always liked you so much. 1037 01:07:23,119 --> 01:07:25,999 I like you too. 1038 01:07:26,606 --> 01:07:29,192 I was almost unfaithful to your father once. 1039 01:07:29,262 --> 01:07:31,051 I knew this was coming. 1040 01:07:31,118 --> 01:07:32,841 He was a barber. 1041 01:07:32,910 --> 01:07:35,877 He looked just like John Forsythe. only bald. 1042 01:07:35,950 --> 01:07:37,477 And Italian. 1043 01:07:38,798 --> 01:07:42,093 - I'm not sleeping with Larry. - But you are thinking about it. 1044 01:07:42,862 --> 01:07:45,861 He makes me feel good. We talk. We walk. We have fun. 1045 01:07:45,933 --> 01:07:47,559 What's so wrong? 1046 01:07:47,629 --> 01:07:50,149 This walk you are taking is right into quicksand. 1047 01:07:50,221 --> 01:07:52,457 I haven't been happy with Tom in a long time. 1048 01:07:53,036 --> 01:07:54,891 Who says you are supposed to be happy? 1049 01:07:54,956 --> 01:07:56,450 Oh. Excuse me. 1050 01:07:56,524 --> 01:07:58,891 I dare to want to be happy. 1051 01:07:59,916 --> 01:08:03,232 As my mother used to say... 1052 01:08:05,996 --> 01:08:08,549 Why must my problems always have to be solved with proverbs? 1053 01:08:08,620 --> 01:08:11,522 - You've a nice home. Beautiful child. - An unfaithful husband. 1054 01:08:11,596 --> 01:08:13,930 Doesn't mean he doesn't love you. It just means he's stupid. 1055 01:08:13,996 --> 01:08:19,047 I think Tom wanted to get caught because he's unhappy too. 1056 01:08:19,115 --> 01:08:21,930 Maria. I just want to ask you a question... 1057 01:08:21,995 --> 01:08:25,256 and then I'll shut up and mind my own business. 1058 01:08:25,322 --> 01:08:29,413 Are you ready to change your life and the life of those close to you... 1059 01:08:29,482 --> 01:08:31,337 for a dance teacher? 1060 01:08:32,939 --> 01:08:35,044 Until you are sure... 1061 01:08:35,115 --> 01:08:37,503 don't do anything you'll regret. 1062 01:09:26,502 --> 01:09:28,291 Sorry. 1063 01:10:00,325 --> 01:10:01,699 Don't move! 1064 01:11:37,726 --> 01:11:39,515 Oak Lane? 1065 01:11:39,582 --> 01:11:42,069 'Round the bend. 1066 01:11:42,142 --> 01:11:43,516 Are you happy? 1067 01:11:43,582 --> 01:11:45,272 About what? 1068 01:12:01,724 --> 01:12:03,896 We'd like to rent one of your cottages. Please. 1069 01:12:03,965 --> 01:12:05,753 For how long? 1070 01:12:09,724 --> 01:12:11,513 Just for the afternoon. Thanks. 1071 01:12:14,524 --> 01:12:15,953 It's nice. 1072 01:12:32,186 --> 01:12:35,983 Fireplace works. No room service but the caf� off the highway delivers. 1073 01:12:36,059 --> 01:12:38,263 Menu's by the phone. 1074 01:12:38,331 --> 01:12:41,145 And yes. The paintings are for sale. 1075 01:12:45,946 --> 01:12:47,473 I love it. 1076 01:12:49,721 --> 01:12:51,096 Nervous? 1077 01:12:53,721 --> 01:12:55,095 Me too. 1078 01:13:07,737 --> 01:13:10,322 Oh. Shit. We broke the lamp. 1079 01:13:15,063 --> 01:13:17,878 I wanted to do something like that my entire life. 1080 01:13:20,951 --> 01:13:23,123 Look. Your lip's bleeding. 1081 01:13:25,719 --> 01:13:27,574 I bit my lip. 1082 01:13:28,695 --> 01:13:30,069 Round three? 1083 01:14:38,130 --> 01:14:40,464 What's this? 1084 01:14:40,530 --> 01:14:42,570 They're all yours. Mitchie. 1085 01:14:42,642 --> 01:14:44,337 I'm goin' for the real thing. 1086 01:14:48,561 --> 01:14:50,349 Samurai hairstylist. 1087 01:14:52,240 --> 01:14:54,607 I sure as hell hope you know what you're doing. 1088 01:14:57,712 --> 01:15:00,330 I don't know why I'm letting you do this. 1089 01:15:52,365 --> 01:15:54,252 Mandarin egg rolls... 1090 01:15:54,316 --> 01:15:55,810 shrimp cocktail... 1091 01:15:55,884 --> 01:15:58,055 turkey club sandwich... 1092 01:15:58,124 --> 01:16:00,295 and lox with scrambled eggs. 1093 01:16:00,364 --> 01:16:02,219 And a chocolate cake. 1094 01:16:02,284 --> 01:16:03,942 So what do you want? 1095 01:16:04,972 --> 01:16:07,394 - French fries. - And French fries. Please. 1096 01:16:07,467 --> 01:16:09,322 - Lots of ketchup. - Lots of ketchup. 1097 01:16:09,387 --> 01:16:11,721 Wait. Do you have any champagne? 1098 01:16:12,748 --> 01:16:15,398 Great. And please hurry. 1099 01:16:15,467 --> 01:16:16,994 Thank you. 1100 01:16:20,171 --> 01:16:21,698 That was quick. 1101 01:16:23,626 --> 01:16:26,441 It's the maid. Would you like the bed turned down? 1102 01:16:27,499 --> 01:16:29,025 No thank you. 1103 01:16:33,065 --> 01:16:35,007 I better call home. 1104 01:16:35,082 --> 01:16:37,384 Closer. 1105 01:16:37,450 --> 01:16:39,359 Closer still. 1106 01:16:46,185 --> 01:16:48,356 I'll be with her till Tom gets home. 1107 01:16:48,424 --> 01:16:49,951 Don't worry. Where are you? 1108 01:16:51,017 --> 01:16:53,056 Can I speak to Chloe. Mama? 1109 01:16:55,081 --> 01:16:57,699 Hi. Sweetheart. How was school today? 1110 01:16:59,240 --> 01:17:02,687 Leonard Pierson scratched you? This is awful. 1111 01:17:02,760 --> 01:17:04,615 Are you all right? 1112 01:17:05,959 --> 01:17:08,131 I'm gonna be home a little late tonight. 1113 01:17:09,480 --> 01:17:10,941 Why? 1114 01:17:11,015 --> 01:17:14,593 I'm seeing some friends. but I'll be home to kiss you good night. 1115 01:17:17,095 --> 01:17:19,462 Be a good girl for Daddy. 1116 01:17:19,527 --> 01:17:21,382 I love you. 1117 01:17:26,759 --> 01:17:28,930 I had to lie to my daughter. 1118 01:18:27,395 --> 01:18:29,948 I'll bet this one is the first one she ever sold. 1119 01:18:31,939 --> 01:18:33,848 It's late. 1120 01:18:33,922 --> 01:18:35,994 I'm sorry I fell asleep. 1121 01:18:36,066 --> 01:18:37,921 I fell asleep too. 1122 01:18:38,946 --> 01:18:42,874 Does falling asleep mean we've got each other out of our system? 1123 01:18:44,641 --> 01:18:47,063 It means we were both tired. 1124 01:18:53,601 --> 01:18:55,128 I'd better go. 1125 01:18:56,289 --> 01:18:58,144 I'll call you tomorrow. 1126 01:20:22,683 --> 01:20:25,105 Your office called. 1127 01:20:25,178 --> 01:20:27,633 You called in sick. So they wanted to know if you were all right. 1128 01:20:28,891 --> 01:20:31,192 Are you all right? 1129 01:20:32,635 --> 01:20:36,246 If I hadn't acted like an idiot. would this have happened? 1130 01:20:36,314 --> 01:20:38,354 You were just being you. 1131 01:20:41,434 --> 01:20:44,500 A man thinks he has to prove himself by being with a lot of women... 1132 01:20:46,137 --> 01:20:48,471 If you're gonna tell me about your infidelities... 1133 01:20:48,537 --> 01:20:50,392 I will have to leave you forever. 1134 01:21:02,008 --> 01:21:04,397 Chloe's teacher would like to talk to you. 1135 01:21:13,431 --> 01:21:15,057 Are you in love with him? 1136 01:21:19,224 --> 01:21:21,679 If I am. I'll get over it. 1137 01:21:25,079 --> 01:21:27,632 We were in love once upon a time. 1138 01:21:27,703 --> 01:21:29,230 We got over it. 1139 01:22:08,372 --> 01:22:10,739 You go near my wife again... 1140 01:22:10,804 --> 01:22:12,659 and I'll kill you. 1141 01:22:25,010 --> 01:22:27,377 Hey. Pop. What's the matter? 1142 01:22:28,947 --> 01:22:31,402 My brother Phil just called me from the grave. 1143 01:22:31,474 --> 01:22:34,867 Said to stay away from Edie or he'd kill me. 1144 01:22:36,242 --> 01:22:38,609 You were dreaming. Pop. 1145 01:22:40,274 --> 01:22:42,248 She doesn't want me anyway. 1146 01:22:42,322 --> 01:22:44,427 Doesn't think we're compatible. 1147 01:22:44,498 --> 01:22:47,280 No. Don't do that. Let me make you breakfast. 1148 01:22:53,233 --> 01:22:56,528 I'm not leaving 'cause I'm angry or mad or anything. 1149 01:22:58,577 --> 01:23:01,032 I want you to be free to make up your mind. 1150 01:23:01,648 --> 01:23:04,812 - Where you going? - My mom's. 1151 01:23:04,880 --> 01:23:07,368 I'll have the rest of my clothes picked up later. 1152 01:23:08,336 --> 01:23:10,725 Your mother gives you hives. What are you doing? 1153 01:23:10,800 --> 01:23:13,614 Not this time. It's time I face up to her. 1154 01:23:15,120 --> 01:23:17,192 See. I'm not as dumb as you think. 1155 01:23:17,263 --> 01:23:19,270 I think you're the smartest person around here. 1156 01:23:19,343 --> 01:23:21,831 Wait a minute. Shouldn't we be talking about this? 1157 01:23:21,904 --> 01:23:24,871 - I've made up my mind. - At least let me help you here. 1158 01:23:24,943 --> 01:23:27,048 You can help me get a cab. 1159 01:23:32,335 --> 01:23:34,189 So how did your big date go last night? 1160 01:23:36,430 --> 01:23:37,957 Can you keep a secret? 1161 01:23:39,150 --> 01:23:40,328 Yeah. Sure. 1162 01:23:41,038 --> 01:23:42,216 So can I. 1163 01:23:49,678 --> 01:23:50,506 You... 1164 01:23:53,357 --> 01:23:54,884 Mrs. Davidow. Hello. 1165 01:23:54,957 --> 01:23:57,542 Hello. Mrs. Hardy. Good morning. Chloe. 1166 01:23:57,613 --> 01:24:01,028 - Did you want to talk to me? - Would you take over for a while? 1167 01:24:02,317 --> 01:24:04,684 I am concerned about Chloe's arm. She has a scratch... 1168 01:24:04,748 --> 01:24:08,010 - Excuse me. - She said Leonard Pierson did it. 1169 01:24:08,077 --> 01:24:11,240 You know. It's time for us to do some serious sharing... 1170 01:24:11,308 --> 01:24:13,959 and interfacing about Chloe. Mrs. Hardy. 1171 01:24:14,028 --> 01:24:16,395 Can I offer you a cup of decaf? 1172 01:24:16,460 --> 01:24:18,664 So what do you think? Is this beautiful? 1173 01:24:18,732 --> 01:24:21,153 Isn't it great? Leather. The whole thing. 1174 01:24:21,227 --> 01:24:23,878 What do you say we go for a ride? I'll go grab the keys. 1175 01:24:23,947 --> 01:24:26,729 Come on. I'll get the keys. I'll be right back. 1176 01:24:26,795 --> 01:24:28,934 This is it. I can feel it. I can smell it. 1177 01:24:29,003 --> 01:24:31,424 I'm taking them for a test drive. I know it. 1178 01:24:31,499 --> 01:24:33,866 I sell this Beamer. I'm off to Vegas. I got 'em. 1179 01:24:33,931 --> 01:24:35,719 I got 'em. Got 'em. Got 'em! 1180 01:24:41,194 --> 01:24:43,615 Oh. My God! My God! 1181 01:24:48,650 --> 01:24:53,385 Mel. Can you open up that window? I wanna take the 750 for a test drive. 1182 01:24:53,450 --> 01:24:56,035 - Can I tantalize you with something? - I'm here to see Tom. 1183 01:24:56,105 --> 01:24:58,244 A mistake. but I'll be right back. 1184 01:25:04,137 --> 01:25:07,485 So. You're finally buying a car. 1185 01:25:09,769 --> 01:25:11,143 Thinking about it. 1186 01:25:11,208 --> 01:25:14,688 I'll see you later. Be right back. Got it definitely under control. 1187 01:25:18,471 --> 01:25:19,900 I left Larry. 1188 01:25:22,696 --> 01:25:26,722 Are you crazy? You stupid shit! 1189 01:25:27,367 --> 01:25:30,214 - That was really great. - It was great. 1190 01:25:30,279 --> 01:25:34,273 - It wasn't so great. - What? It was great. 1191 01:25:34,343 --> 01:25:36,001 No. It was different. 1192 01:25:36,071 --> 01:25:37,893 Well... 1193 01:25:37,959 --> 01:25:39,999 it's different in a bed. 1194 01:25:41,030 --> 01:25:43,103 It's not the bed. It's different. 1195 01:25:44,486 --> 01:25:45,696 You're different. 1196 01:25:48,069 --> 01:25:50,939 Well. It's different now that you're... 1197 01:25:52,069 --> 01:25:55,385 - Now that I'm what? - Now that you're... 1198 01:25:55,461 --> 01:25:57,763 on your own. 1199 01:25:57,829 --> 01:25:59,356 Oh. My God. 1200 01:26:00,581 --> 01:26:02,436 I just realized something. 1201 01:26:03,461 --> 01:26:06,079 You're one of those men who can only do this because you're married. 1202 01:26:06,149 --> 01:26:07,709 You're not interested in anyone... 1203 01:26:07,780 --> 01:26:10,463 - You'd have to be responsible to. - Calm down. 1204 01:26:10,532 --> 01:26:13,467 I'm up for a new position in the fashion office. 1205 01:26:13,540 --> 01:26:17,118 I took time out today because I thought that maybe you... 1206 01:26:17,188 --> 01:26:20,002 - You thought that maybe I'd what? - Nothing. 1207 01:26:20,068 --> 01:26:23,450 - There's a run in my pantyhose! - What's the matter with you? 1208 01:26:23,524 --> 01:26:25,913 I'm being tested and... 1209 01:26:25,987 --> 01:26:28,922 punished for my stupidity! 1210 01:26:28,995 --> 01:26:30,849 I deserve this. 1211 01:26:42,178 --> 01:26:44,152 She looks much better. 1212 01:26:44,226 --> 01:26:46,746 Hey. What a great surprise. 1213 01:26:46,818 --> 01:26:50,015 I had no idea how much I loved sanding. 1214 01:26:50,082 --> 01:26:51,991 Is sandpapering going to be your next job? 1215 01:26:52,066 --> 01:26:57,499 I don't think so. I was thinking you and me should open a restaurant. 1216 01:26:58,529 --> 01:27:00,023 Do you cook? 1217 01:27:00,097 --> 01:27:02,268 No. But I do dishes. 1218 01:27:03,808 --> 01:27:05,434 A restaurant? Where? 1219 01:27:05,505 --> 01:27:09,978 Somewhere we can hang a sign that says "Gone sailing" anytime we want. 1220 01:27:11,265 --> 01:27:13,752 - And people would understand? - Understand? Are you kidding me? 1221 01:27:13,824 --> 01:27:15,351 People will approve. 1222 01:27:16,640 --> 01:27:19,956 And what about your son. Wife? 1223 01:27:21,535 --> 01:27:24,830 Mitch goes to spend next term with his mother in San Francisco... 1224 01:27:24,895 --> 01:27:26,554 then college. 1225 01:27:26,624 --> 01:27:28,412 Tish... I don't know what she wants... 1226 01:27:28,479 --> 01:27:30,202 but it certainly isn't me. 1227 01:27:35,934 --> 01:27:38,039 It must be beautiful out there. 1228 01:27:42,814 --> 01:27:44,669 Does that mean you're gonna come along? 1229 01:27:47,486 --> 01:27:49,625 Chloe has been lying... 1230 01:27:49,694 --> 01:27:52,443 about a boy attacking her... 1231 01:27:52,509 --> 01:27:54,876 when actually she has been beating on him. 1232 01:27:56,190 --> 01:28:00,052 The teacher thinks she is acting out her anger toward Tom. 1233 01:28:02,141 --> 01:28:05,687 The other day she put a cat in the school dryer. 1234 01:28:07,837 --> 01:28:12,855 The teacher thinks it is 'cause she doesn't get enough attention... 1235 01:28:12,924 --> 01:28:14,712 'cause... 1236 01:28:14,781 --> 01:28:17,147 I'm not doing a good enough job. 1237 01:28:17,212 --> 01:28:19,928 No. Now kids go through stages. 1238 01:28:27,516 --> 01:28:29,752 My husband and my daughter need me. 1239 01:28:35,931 --> 01:28:37,240 And us? 1240 01:28:39,002 --> 01:28:39,896 "Us?" 1241 01:28:40,635 --> 01:28:42,936 Well. We do what generally people do. 1242 01:28:45,499 --> 01:28:47,767 Go on with their lives. 1243 01:28:51,417 --> 01:28:54,287 Maybe people aren't supposed to be happy. 1244 01:28:54,361 --> 01:28:56,750 No. I don't believe that. 1245 01:29:01,785 --> 01:29:03,759 I came to say good-bye. 1246 01:29:03,833 --> 01:29:05,207 I know. 1247 01:29:06,329 --> 01:29:08,183 Have you been crying? 1248 01:29:10,489 --> 01:29:11,863 I have. 1249 01:29:13,464 --> 01:29:15,831 I have been crying a lot lately. 1250 01:29:18,200 --> 01:29:20,687 Making up for all these years I didn't. 1251 01:29:26,327 --> 01:29:27,854 I'm fine. 1252 01:29:29,847 --> 01:29:33,044 You know. I'm only sorry we never had a chance to dance. 1253 01:29:47,158 --> 01:29:50,092 - You all gotta be crazy! - Pop. Please. I got enough problems. 1254 01:29:50,165 --> 01:29:51,921 Go home. I'll call you. 1255 01:29:51,989 --> 01:29:55,305 Listen to me for once. If you love that woman the way I think you do... 1256 01:29:55,381 --> 01:29:57,236 sometimes in life you gotta fight to the death. 1257 01:29:57,301 --> 01:30:00,879 I'm familiar with this philosophy. Attila the Hun said it first. 1258 01:30:00,949 --> 01:30:03,370 Listen to what your father Vincent Kozinski is saying first... 1259 01:30:03,445 --> 01:30:05,452 last and always. 1260 01:30:05,524 --> 01:30:08,274 You've got only one life to live. 1261 01:30:08,341 --> 01:30:11,636 You can either make it chicken shit or chicken salad. 1262 01:30:27,731 --> 01:30:29,641 Good chops. 1263 01:30:29,716 --> 01:30:31,471 I'm glad you like them. 1264 01:30:31,539 --> 01:30:33,808 - My favorite. - I know. 1265 01:30:33,875 --> 01:30:35,401 Thanks. 1266 01:30:35,475 --> 01:30:36,849 You're welcome. 1267 01:30:43,251 --> 01:30:44,625 Maybe... 1268 01:30:47,218 --> 01:30:49,072 we can make love later. 1269 01:30:50,962 --> 01:30:52,074 Good. 1270 01:32:34,027 --> 01:32:35,401 Thank you. 1271 01:33:36,871 --> 01:33:40,613 Phil said there's a future in garbage. Never thought it was my future. 1272 01:33:40,679 --> 01:33:43,940 You were very generous in your business dealings. Very generous. 1273 01:33:44,006 --> 01:33:47,454 - Don't let it get around. - You are not such a tough guy. 1274 01:33:48,902 --> 01:33:51,619 - Tough guy would make a pass at you. - But not you. 1275 01:33:51,686 --> 01:33:55,264 No? I'd say. "I got this big empty house in the country. 1276 01:33:55,334 --> 01:33:58,116 Come and visit me and we can celebrate." 1277 01:33:58,181 --> 01:34:01,345 I'd say. "I am too old for traveling." 1278 01:34:13,156 --> 01:34:14,683 I love you. Edie. 1279 01:34:16,228 --> 01:34:17,602 My God. 1280 01:34:35,075 --> 01:34:39,101 All right. All right. Poor baby. Poor angel. 1281 01:34:43,362 --> 01:34:45,402 You still wanna kill people? 1282 01:34:45,474 --> 01:34:47,678 - No. They're too stupid. - You're telling me. 1283 01:34:47,746 --> 01:34:51,041 Your grandfather's about to marry the Bermuda Triangle. 1284 01:34:57,761 --> 01:35:00,063 That's very good. Very good. 1285 01:35:01,890 --> 01:35:03,264 God bless. 1286 01:35:06,625 --> 01:35:08,381 Hi. Vince. 1287 01:35:09,793 --> 01:35:11,549 - Father. - Pleasure. 1288 01:35:11,617 --> 01:35:14,170 - You know my son. I'm sure. - Nice to see you again. 1289 01:35:20,000 --> 01:35:22,618 - You're late. - You've met Cathy. Haven't you? 1290 01:35:22,688 --> 01:35:25,557 Cathy. This is Tish. Tish. This is Cathy. 1291 01:35:25,632 --> 01:35:27,487 It's nice to meet you. 1292 01:35:28,800 --> 01:35:30,622 What? What? 1293 01:35:30,688 --> 01:35:32,281 Start! Start! 1294 01:35:40,255 --> 01:35:42,360 It's too late. I did it. 1295 01:35:42,431 --> 01:35:45,365 Look at those kids... cute. 1296 01:36:18,492 --> 01:36:20,564 Here we go. 1297 01:36:48,123 --> 01:36:52,465 Vincent. Will you take this woman to be your wife? 1298 01:36:52,538 --> 01:36:55,091 - Yeah. Can I kiss her? - Not yet. 1299 01:36:55,162 --> 01:36:57,334 - Say "I will." - I will. 1300 01:36:57,402 --> 01:37:00,784 Edie. Will you take this man to be your husband? 1301 01:37:02,649 --> 01:37:03,577 I will. 1302 01:37:03,642 --> 01:37:04,983 Vincent and Edie... 1303 01:37:05,050 --> 01:37:09,556 you've made this solemn covenant of marriage before God and this company. 1304 01:37:09,625 --> 01:37:11,796 Always follow your bliss. 1305 01:37:11,865 --> 01:37:14,069 Always follow what your heart says. 1306 01:37:14,137 --> 01:37:17,682 I now pronounce you man and wife. 1307 01:37:17,752 --> 01:37:19,792 You may kiss the bride. 1308 01:37:31,478 --> 01:37:35,307 At this point. Ladies and gentlemen. we need a volunteer from the audience. 1309 01:37:35,382 --> 01:37:38,251 - Somebody who will lend us a hand... - Me. Sit. 1310 01:37:38,326 --> 01:37:40,301 or perhaps his whole body. 1311 01:37:40,373 --> 01:37:43,821 I think we have one here. How are you. Sir? What's your name? 1312 01:37:43,893 --> 01:37:46,413 Hi. How are you? 1313 01:37:46,485 --> 01:37:48,819 Stan. We're going to ask you to remove your jacket. 1314 01:37:48,885 --> 01:37:50,773 And Michelle will help you off with it there. 1315 01:37:50,837 --> 01:37:52,659 Another girl in here? 1316 01:37:52,725 --> 01:37:54,765 Try not to be funnier than the magician. 1317 01:37:54,837 --> 01:37:57,138 Just lie down. Make yourself comfortable. 1318 01:37:57,204 --> 01:38:00,172 - We don't have to stay here long. - I'm fine. 1319 01:38:00,244 --> 01:38:02,830 But I don't want you to feel uncomfortable. 1320 01:38:02,900 --> 01:38:05,550 Why would I feel uncomfortable? I'm not if you're not. 1321 01:38:10,036 --> 01:38:11,694 Easy. Boy. Okay. Here we go. 1322 01:38:11,764 --> 01:38:13,967 - Ready? - That's good. 1323 01:38:14,036 --> 01:38:16,304 Congratulations on your promotion. 1324 01:38:16,372 --> 01:38:18,827 It agrees with you. You've never looked more beautiful. 1325 01:38:18,899 --> 01:38:21,387 Thank you. I've redone the apartment. 1326 01:38:21,459 --> 01:38:24,012 It's sort of postmodern meets the Jetsons. 1327 01:38:24,083 --> 01:38:26,985 - You should see it sometime. - I will. I will. 1328 01:38:27,058 --> 01:38:28,749 I'm good now. 1329 01:38:30,419 --> 01:38:31,629 Don't go away. 1330 01:38:34,194 --> 01:38:36,136 - You want a drink? - No thank you. 1331 01:38:36,210 --> 01:38:38,185 I'm gonna get a drink. 1332 01:38:39,762 --> 01:38:42,860 We're going to show you something really puzzling. 1333 01:38:48,658 --> 01:38:52,040 - I'm sorry. - Do you know why I married you? 1334 01:38:52,656 --> 01:38:54,282 My money? 1335 01:38:54,353 --> 01:38:58,379 Your eyes. I thought a man with your eyes would never hurt a woman. 1336 01:38:59,344 --> 01:39:01,199 Have I? 1337 01:39:04,881 --> 01:39:06,407 Good luck. Larry. 1338 01:39:07,440 --> 01:39:08,847 Thank you. 1339 01:39:17,456 --> 01:39:21,317 What we're going to do is introduce you to a little friend of mine... 1340 01:39:21,391 --> 01:39:23,082 Sammy the Saw. 1341 01:39:24,303 --> 01:39:27,947 You wanna go home? Good. Let's talk to Daddy. We'll leave. 1342 01:39:28,015 --> 01:39:30,349 He didn't have that much to begin with. 1343 01:39:35,278 --> 01:39:37,482 Hold on. Wait. 1344 01:39:37,550 --> 01:39:40,845 You know. I came this close to having her. 1345 01:39:47,853 --> 01:39:49,544 Ready? 1346 01:39:55,085 --> 01:39:56,940 - That was fantastic. - But we're not finished yet. 1347 01:39:57,005 --> 01:39:59,492 Put him together later on. I wanna dance with my wife. 1348 01:39:59,564 --> 01:40:01,419 Give us a waltz. 1349 01:40:36,202 --> 01:40:37,762 They look so sweet. 1350 01:41:08,872 --> 01:41:10,497 Tell your story walking. 1351 01:41:14,119 --> 01:41:15,974 Maria. Would you dance with me? 1352 01:41:16,039 --> 01:41:18,854 - No. She won't. - Please. Tom. 1353 01:41:21,767 --> 01:41:24,134 Well. Then how 'bout spending the rest of your life with me? 1354 01:41:24,199 --> 01:41:28,355 - What are you talking about? - I haven't fought for a long time... 1355 01:41:28,422 --> 01:41:30,626 but if you wanna fight. I will fight. 1356 01:41:30,694 --> 01:41:32,036 - Please. Please. - Fine. 1357 01:41:33,574 --> 01:41:35,003 What's going on here? 1358 01:41:35,079 --> 01:41:38,853 I'm trying to make some chicken salad out of chicken shit here. 1359 01:41:38,918 --> 01:41:41,439 Maria. Everyone is looking. 1360 01:41:42,118 --> 01:41:45,434 Wait a minute. I've kept my part of the bargain for Chloe's sake. 1361 01:41:45,509 --> 01:41:47,964 Maybe Chloe deserves more than a bargain. 1362 01:41:49,637 --> 01:41:52,866 You come and get in the car with me now or I'm leaving you for good. 1363 01:42:08,804 --> 01:42:11,040 Larry Kozinski. I would love to dance with you. 1364 01:43:01,921 --> 01:43:04,888 - Dance! Please. Everybody dance! - Dance! 1365 01:43:04,961 --> 01:43:07,448 I'm taking my present back. 1366 01:43:55,933 --> 01:43:57,755 - Come on. Mitch. - Here we go. 1367 01:43:57,821 --> 01:44:00,373 - Mitch. Come on. - Come on. Quick. We're gonna leave. 1368 01:44:00,444 --> 01:44:01,873 Come on. Please. 1369 01:44:01,949 --> 01:44:03,956 Come on. Mitch. Hurry up. 1370 01:44:05,373 --> 01:44:08,242 No. Dad. Dad. Stop it. 1371 01:44:09,500 --> 01:44:11,572 What are you doing? What are you doing? 102252