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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,935 --> 00:00:02,267 ♪♪ 2 00:00:02,269 --> 00:00:03,802 Mail's here! 3 00:00:03,804 --> 00:00:08,941 Look, it's our annual rejection letter from "family feud." 4 00:00:08,943 --> 00:00:10,742 A mustache hair. 5 00:00:10,744 --> 00:00:12,410 Oh, my god. 6 00:00:12,412 --> 00:00:14,947 Steve harvey licked that envelope himself. 7 00:00:14,949 --> 00:00:17,282 Wait, this isn't a rejection letter. 8 00:00:17,284 --> 00:00:19,351 It's an invitation to the second phase 9 00:00:19,353 --> 00:00:20,685 Of the application process -- 10 00:00:20,687 --> 00:00:22,487 "filling out a questionnaire"! 11 00:00:22,489 --> 00:00:24,022 [ squeals ] oh, yeah! 12 00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:26,291 But we've got to be very careful filling it out. 13 00:00:26,293 --> 00:00:28,092 Says here we can't get another one. 14 00:00:28,094 --> 00:00:29,894 It's only one question long -- 15 00:00:29,896 --> 00:00:31,496 "what is the funniest thing 16 00:00:31,498 --> 00:00:33,565 That has ever happened to your family?" 17 00:00:33,567 --> 00:00:36,568 I could think of 300 funny things that have happened to us. 18 00:00:36,570 --> 00:00:39,304 [ scoffs ] 300 funny things. 19 00:00:39,306 --> 00:00:41,974 I can think of 400 funny things. 20 00:00:41,976 --> 00:00:43,241 I could think of a million. 21 00:00:43,243 --> 00:00:44,309 Okay, do 50. 22 00:00:44,311 --> 00:00:45,744 Okay, first one... 23 00:00:48,582 --> 00:00:51,316 ♪♪ 24 00:00:51,318 --> 00:00:53,986 ♪ good morning, u.S.A. ♪ 25 00:00:53,988 --> 00:00:57,389 ♪ I got a feelin' that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪ 26 00:00:57,391 --> 00:01:00,525 ♪ the sun in the sky has a smile on his face ♪ 27 00:01:00,527 --> 00:01:05,064 ♪ and he's shinin' a salute to the american race ♪ 28 00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:10,002 ♪ oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪ 29 00:01:10,004 --> 00:01:12,737 ♪ good -- ♪ ♪ good morning, u.S.A. ♪ 30 00:01:12,739 --> 00:01:13,706 Aah! 31 00:01:15,275 --> 00:01:18,343 ♪ good morning, u.S.A. ♪ 32 00:01:18,345 --> 00:01:20,945 [ birds chirping ] 33 00:01:20,947 --> 00:01:22,815 This is "family feud," guys. 34 00:01:22,817 --> 00:01:24,349 We need our a-1 stuff. 35 00:01:24,351 --> 00:01:26,685 What's the funniest thing that's ever happened to us? 36 00:01:26,687 --> 00:01:30,022 I heard a funny word at the doctor yesterday -- 37 00:01:30,024 --> 00:01:31,423 "terminal." 38 00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:32,424 That's an airport word! 39 00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:34,026 I have a funny one. 40 00:01:34,028 --> 00:01:36,561 Remember the time dad got locked in the stockades 41 00:01:36,563 --> 00:01:38,230 In colonial williamsburg? 42 00:01:38,232 --> 00:01:40,565 Sorry I knocked over that plant, dad. 43 00:01:40,567 --> 00:01:42,367 They say they'll let you out at the end of the day. 44 00:01:42,369 --> 00:01:43,435 Uh, guys? 45 00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:44,903 I started a small electrical fire 46 00:01:44,905 --> 00:01:46,238 In ye olde candlery. 47 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:48,907 We gotta run! -Aah! 48 00:01:48,909 --> 00:01:51,510 I forgot roger really ruined that trip. 49 00:01:51,512 --> 00:01:54,179 Ooh! How about that time we saw seinfeld in hawaii? 50 00:01:54,181 --> 00:01:56,781 I think that's seinfeld at the omelet station. 51 00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:58,383 You just know he's observing 52 00:01:58,385 --> 00:01:59,984 Some really funny stuff right now. 53 00:01:59,986 --> 00:02:02,987 Roger: Guys, I accidentally triggered an active volcano. 54 00:02:02,989 --> 00:02:04,789 We gotta run! [ all gasp ] 55 00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:08,727 Seinfeld: What's the deal with all this lava? 56 00:02:08,729 --> 00:02:10,595 Damn it! Roger ruined that, too! 57 00:02:10,597 --> 00:02:13,398 Ooh! What about the time we went to that super fancy 58 00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:14,933 Underground cheese shop? 59 00:02:14,935 --> 00:02:19,003 I can't believe this is the day I finally get to try gouda! 60 00:02:19,005 --> 00:02:21,806 Guys, I accidentally triggered an active volcano. 61 00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:23,942 We gotta run! [ all gasp ] 62 00:02:23,944 --> 00:02:28,547 Seinfeld: And this was the day I was finally gonna try gouda! 63 00:02:28,549 --> 00:02:31,283 Can't we think of one memory that wasn't ruined by roger? 64 00:02:31,285 --> 00:02:32,817 Enchanté. 65 00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:36,688 The name's hibachi liberace: Terrible origami artist. 66 00:02:36,690 --> 00:02:39,023 Allow me to demonstrate. Mm, too big. 67 00:02:39,025 --> 00:02:40,425 No! [ gasps ] 68 00:02:40,427 --> 00:02:41,826 [ breathing heavily ] 69 00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:43,161 Bingo! 70 00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,496 Double bingo! 71 00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:46,498 And fold, and fold, and... 72 00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:47,432 Ta-da! 73 00:02:47,434 --> 00:02:48,701 Hanging chad! 74 00:02:48,703 --> 00:02:49,702 Remember that? 75 00:02:49,704 --> 00:02:51,103 From one of the elections or something? 76 00:02:51,105 --> 00:02:52,371 Damn it, roger! 77 00:02:52,373 --> 00:02:54,439 That was our "family feud" application! 78 00:02:54,441 --> 00:02:56,641 We got to the next round?! That's amazing! 79 00:02:56,643 --> 00:02:58,443 I wonder what I'll wear if we make it. 80 00:02:58,445 --> 00:02:59,778 You'll wear nothing. 81 00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:01,646 That's kinda what I was thinking, too. 82 00:03:01,648 --> 00:03:04,449 Because we're not going to be on "family feud." 83 00:03:04,451 --> 00:03:06,785 They famously only give you one application! 84 00:03:06,787 --> 00:03:08,253 And you ruined it! 85 00:03:08,255 --> 00:03:10,723 You ruin everything! [ gasps ] 86 00:03:10,725 --> 00:03:12,056 I don't ruin things! 87 00:03:12,058 --> 00:03:14,526 We spent all day trying to remember things, 88 00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:16,728 But all the rememories were bad! 89 00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:17,462 'cause of you! 90 00:03:17,464 --> 00:03:18,797 Being on the "feud" 91 00:03:18,799 --> 00:03:21,199 Is all the smiths have ever wanted. 92 00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:23,468 So... So, what, stan? 93 00:03:23,470 --> 00:03:25,537 So, the smiths are done with you. 94 00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:27,606 Forever! You must leave at once! 95 00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:31,744 [ gasps ] you guys don't want me to leave, right? 96 00:03:31,746 --> 00:03:33,445 Fine! I'll go. 97 00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:36,348 Francine, let's go, baby. 98 00:03:36,350 --> 00:03:37,482 No! 99 00:03:37,484 --> 00:03:39,651 [ gasps, cries ] 100 00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:42,087 [ camera shutter clicks ] 101 00:03:42,089 --> 00:03:43,355 Pope: We found him, 102 00:03:43,357 --> 00:03:45,758 The creator of the evil artifact. 103 00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:49,361 ♪♪ 104 00:03:49,363 --> 00:03:50,562 According to the prophecy, 105 00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:52,831 The artifact can only be destroyed 106 00:03:52,833 --> 00:03:55,167 By sending it back into the portal through 107 00:03:55,169 --> 00:03:57,101 Which it appeared on earth. 108 00:03:57,103 --> 00:03:59,037 What portal? 109 00:03:59,039 --> 00:04:01,439 [ dramatic music plays ] 110 00:04:01,441 --> 00:04:04,610 ♪♪ 111 00:04:06,980 --> 00:04:08,346 [ bell tolls ] 112 00:04:08,348 --> 00:04:13,285 ♪♪ 113 00:04:13,287 --> 00:04:15,887 I have 12 chalupas for... 114 00:04:15,889 --> 00:04:17,022 Secret meeting. 115 00:04:17,024 --> 00:04:21,693 The artifact corrupts and twists the human mind. 116 00:04:21,695 --> 00:04:26,298 Once it is destroyed, the world will finally be at peace. 117 00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:29,234 I shall take it to america at once. 118 00:04:29,236 --> 00:04:31,903 Perhaps I should take it, hmm? 119 00:04:31,905 --> 00:04:33,771 No! He wants it for himself! 120 00:04:33,773 --> 00:04:35,707 I'll take it. No! Me! 121 00:04:35,709 --> 00:04:37,242 Friends! [ gasps ] 122 00:04:37,244 --> 00:04:39,311 Beyoncé speaks! 123 00:04:39,313 --> 00:04:40,646 Don't you see? 124 00:04:40,648 --> 00:04:43,849 Its power is corrupting even us. 125 00:04:45,185 --> 00:04:47,052 [ gun cocks ] 126 00:04:47,054 --> 00:04:48,386 Don't touch it. 127 00:04:48,388 --> 00:04:49,521 [ gun cocks ] 128 00:04:49,523 --> 00:04:50,922 [ gun cocks ] 129 00:04:50,924 --> 00:04:52,858 [ guns cock ] 130 00:04:52,860 --> 00:05:02,200 ♪♪ 131 00:05:02,202 --> 00:05:03,435 I must have it! 132 00:05:07,541 --> 00:05:13,945 ♪♪ 133 00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:20,085 ♪♪ 134 00:05:20,087 --> 00:05:24,422 Little girl, what you are holding is very dangerous. 135 00:05:24,424 --> 00:05:25,891 You must give it to me. 136 00:05:25,893 --> 00:05:27,425 No problemo. 137 00:05:27,427 --> 00:05:29,361 Kazim, wait. 138 00:05:29,363 --> 00:05:31,029 She offers it without hesitation. 139 00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:33,031 It does not corrupt her. 140 00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:35,033 She is pure of heart. 141 00:05:35,035 --> 00:05:36,368 She must be the one. 142 00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:40,839 We are the knights turdlar, an ancient order tasked 143 00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:43,909 With destroying this evil excrement. 144 00:05:43,911 --> 00:05:46,512 We need you to take this somewhere. 145 00:05:46,514 --> 00:05:48,113 It could be dangerous. 146 00:05:48,115 --> 00:05:51,517 But it will save the world from evil. 147 00:05:51,519 --> 00:05:53,852 I will deliver this anywhere you want, 148 00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:57,055 But you must order it through the app. 149 00:05:57,057 --> 00:05:58,457 [ knocking ] 150 00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:03,995 Yeah, that cat doesn't live here anymore, ya dig? 151 00:06:03,997 --> 00:06:06,932 We've looked everywhere. Even snot's house. 152 00:06:06,934 --> 00:06:08,466 Roger: Come back here! 153 00:06:08,468 --> 00:06:09,801 Come on, lil' cricket! 154 00:06:09,803 --> 00:06:12,270 I ain't gonna eat ya! 155 00:06:12,272 --> 00:06:13,338 Stupid cricket! 156 00:06:13,340 --> 00:06:14,606 Stupid smiths! 157 00:06:14,608 --> 00:06:17,275 Making me lie to crickets about eating them. 158 00:06:17,277 --> 00:06:19,878 [ crickets chirping ] 159 00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:21,479 Roger: Oh, hey, little girl. 160 00:06:21,481 --> 00:06:23,481 Can you grab that cricket for me? 161 00:06:23,483 --> 00:06:25,384 I ain't gonna eat it or anything. 162 00:06:27,020 --> 00:06:29,020 Oh, hey, that looks familiar. 163 00:06:29,022 --> 00:06:30,488 Nice of you to bring it back. 164 00:06:30,490 --> 00:06:31,689 [ thud ] 165 00:06:31,691 --> 00:06:32,824 This is just the cherry 166 00:06:32,826 --> 00:06:35,427 On top of a really interesting week. 167 00:06:44,037 --> 00:06:45,904 ♪♪ 168 00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:47,505 [ arguing in native language ] 169 00:06:47,507 --> 00:06:54,179 ♪♪ 170 00:06:54,181 --> 00:07:01,053 ♪♪ 171 00:07:01,055 --> 00:07:03,188 Well, it's official. 172 00:07:03,190 --> 00:07:04,322 I'm not black. 173 00:07:04,324 --> 00:07:05,657 How do you know? Heh! 174 00:07:05,659 --> 00:07:07,459 'cause black don't... 175 00:07:12,065 --> 00:07:15,467 ♪♪ 176 00:07:16,203 --> 00:07:18,670 Listen up. This is an emergency. 177 00:07:18,672 --> 00:07:19,671 Has there been an attack? 178 00:07:19,673 --> 00:07:21,406 No, silly. 179 00:07:21,408 --> 00:07:23,208 We live in utopia now! 180 00:07:23,210 --> 00:07:26,678 The emergency is, I got a new guitar! 181 00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:28,279 [ guitar plays ] 182 00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:31,550 ♪ everyone is happy in utopia ♪ 183 00:07:31,552 --> 00:07:35,821 ♪ from Spain to japan to ethiopia ♪ 184 00:07:35,823 --> 00:07:39,424 ♪ mertz was a bully who only cared for shoving ♪ 185 00:07:39,426 --> 00:07:43,695 ♪ but now he's a pacifist all about loving ♪ 186 00:07:43,697 --> 00:07:45,296 ♪ now that the world is at peace ♪ 187 00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:47,166 ♪ I have my own flock of geese ♪ 188 00:07:47,168 --> 00:07:51,036 ♪ everyone is happy in utopia ♪ 189 00:07:51,038 --> 00:07:52,771 Francine: ♪ the roads are all empty ♪ 190 00:07:52,773 --> 00:07:54,973 ♪ everyone gets a bentley ♪ 191 00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:58,844 ♪ I can dunk a basketball ♪ 192 00:07:58,846 --> 00:08:02,047 ♪ everyone is happy in utopia ♪ 193 00:08:02,049 --> 00:08:06,117 ♪ I used to smoke six times a day, no joking ♪ 194 00:08:06,119 --> 00:08:11,790 ♪ but in this new world, I get high without toking ♪ 195 00:08:11,792 --> 00:08:15,727 ♪ everyone is happy in utopia ♪ 196 00:08:15,729 --> 00:08:18,797 ♪ we're all full of hope-ia ♪ 197 00:08:18,799 --> 00:08:22,868 ♪ I can fly without my rope-ia ♪ 198 00:08:22,870 --> 00:08:26,738 ♪ 'cause everyone loves utopia ♪ 199 00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:30,942 ♪ and things are going well for me ♪ 200 00:08:30,944 --> 00:08:35,614 ♪ too-o-o-o-o ♪ 201 00:08:36,550 --> 00:08:39,418 This just in. Everything is still great! 202 00:08:39,420 --> 00:08:42,421 Coming up after the break, a beautiful sound! 203 00:08:42,423 --> 00:08:44,556 Oh, what the heck? Let's just play it right now. 204 00:08:44,558 --> 00:08:46,558 [ tone plays ] 205 00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:48,960 I hate utopia. I hate this. 206 00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:50,896 Oh, my god! Thank you! 207 00:08:50,898 --> 00:08:53,031 Remember when you used to see a helicopter crash 208 00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:54,766 On the news and get kind of horned up? 209 00:08:54,768 --> 00:08:55,834 That's gone. 210 00:08:55,836 --> 00:08:57,836 And I hate singing that song every day. 211 00:08:57,838 --> 00:09:01,106 I miss my old song! -Daddy. 212 00:09:01,108 --> 00:09:03,174 That is the silver lining, rogu. 213 00:09:03,176 --> 00:09:06,044 At least roger's been gone since utopia started. 214 00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:08,247 Daddy. 215 00:09:08,249 --> 00:09:09,380 No. 216 00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:11,382 That's the door. 217 00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:12,584 [ doorbell rings ] 218 00:09:12,586 --> 00:09:13,585 Damn, francine, 219 00:09:13,587 --> 00:09:15,254 You made the doorbell ring. 220 00:09:15,256 --> 00:09:16,054 Delivery! 221 00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,923 And may peace be with -- 222 00:09:18,659 --> 00:09:20,792 Please send me to the smiths. 223 00:09:20,794 --> 00:09:22,794 123 cherry street. 224 00:09:22,796 --> 00:09:24,663 It's roger's mouth! 225 00:09:24,665 --> 00:09:27,599 They're a bunch of dicks, but I really need to talk to them. 226 00:09:27,601 --> 00:09:29,268 Roger! Shh! 227 00:09:29,270 --> 00:09:30,936 Mm. Mm. 228 00:09:30,938 --> 00:09:34,806 I think it's steve, but just to make sure... 229 00:09:34,808 --> 00:09:35,674 Get off me! 230 00:09:35,676 --> 00:09:38,277 Yep! That's my steve! 231 00:09:38,279 --> 00:09:40,479 Okay, as you can see, I'm just a mouth. 232 00:09:40,481 --> 00:09:43,748 That's probably because I exploded into 300 pieces. 233 00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:45,284 My ears heard the knights turdlar 234 00:09:45,286 --> 00:09:48,153 Talking about how they'd spread the pieces to the furthest, 235 00:09:48,155 --> 00:09:50,155 Most inaccessible corners of the world. 236 00:09:50,157 --> 00:09:53,558 That way no one could rebuild me and return the world to chaos. 237 00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:54,559 Any questions? 238 00:09:54,561 --> 00:09:55,961 I might have one. 239 00:09:55,963 --> 00:09:57,362 Trick question! 240 00:09:57,364 --> 00:09:59,030 I can't hear questions because I'm just a mouth. 241 00:09:59,032 --> 00:10:01,100 Rogu can help you find the rest of me. 242 00:10:01,102 --> 00:10:03,034 Probably. I just said a name. 243 00:10:03,036 --> 00:10:04,103 Does he look confident? 244 00:10:04,105 --> 00:10:05,837 I can say someone else's name. 245 00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:07,238 Uhh... 246 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:08,307 Calvin? 247 00:10:08,309 --> 00:10:09,374 Is he still around? 248 00:10:09,376 --> 00:10:13,979 Daddy ear at mall. 249 00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:19,384 Daddy's ear. 250 00:10:19,386 --> 00:10:22,253 Finally, I can hear your beautiful voices. 251 00:10:22,255 --> 00:10:25,457 And more importantly, my own beautiful voice! 252 00:10:25,459 --> 00:10:28,727 [ scatting ] 253 00:10:28,729 --> 00:10:30,195 Ugh! I can't do this! 254 00:10:30,197 --> 00:10:32,864 I can't talk to these gross, flappy body parts. 255 00:10:32,866 --> 00:10:34,399 I've got an idea! 256 00:10:34,401 --> 00:10:36,135 This was my idea! 257 00:10:36,137 --> 00:10:38,804 And you guys promise me you got the rainbow sloth 258 00:10:38,806 --> 00:10:41,540 And not just the brown bear because it was cheaper? 259 00:10:41,542 --> 00:10:42,741 Yes, roger. 260 00:10:42,743 --> 00:10:44,409 Where to now, rogu? 261 00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:46,812 ♪♪ 262 00:10:46,814 --> 00:10:49,480 [ all cheering ] 263 00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:53,352 ♪♪ 264 00:10:53,354 --> 00:10:57,156 [ all cheering ] 265 00:10:57,158 --> 00:10:58,824 [ growling ] 266 00:10:58,826 --> 00:11:06,698 ♪♪ 267 00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:08,967 I do not want to go in there. 268 00:11:08,969 --> 00:11:11,236 Take these. Someone sold them to me by the porta-johns. 269 00:11:11,238 --> 00:11:12,971 I have no idea what they are. 270 00:11:12,973 --> 00:11:16,708 [ dance music plays ] 271 00:11:16,710 --> 00:11:17,976 Coachella! 272 00:11:17,978 --> 00:11:19,711 Edm is amazing! 273 00:11:19,713 --> 00:11:21,913 And I never would have found out if we didn't have to go in there 274 00:11:21,915 --> 00:11:23,582 To find roger's elbow. 275 00:11:23,584 --> 00:11:24,716 Roger's elbow! 276 00:11:24,718 --> 00:11:27,319 Coachella! 277 00:11:29,923 --> 00:11:32,123 ♪ I'm your venus ♪ 278 00:11:32,125 --> 00:11:34,726 299 pieces. 279 00:11:34,728 --> 00:11:35,794 Only one to go. 280 00:11:35,796 --> 00:11:37,596 Possibly the most important of all -- 281 00:11:37,598 --> 00:11:38,730 My butthole. 282 00:11:38,732 --> 00:11:40,532 We have to find your butthole? 283 00:11:40,534 --> 00:11:41,867 Without it, no turd. 284 00:11:41,869 --> 00:11:44,135 You know what they say -- 285 00:11:44,137 --> 00:11:47,873 Butthole always last place you look. 286 00:11:47,875 --> 00:11:49,608 Ha, ha, ha. 287 00:11:49,610 --> 00:11:51,342 Let's go. 288 00:11:51,344 --> 00:11:54,046 No [bleep] way! 289 00:11:57,618 --> 00:11:58,950 Hello? 290 00:11:58,952 --> 00:12:01,053 [ door slams ] 291 00:12:03,090 --> 00:12:05,624 So, you've come for the butthole. 292 00:12:05,626 --> 00:12:07,158 Steve harvey?! 293 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:11,162 Unfortunately, I can't just hand it over to you. 294 00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:13,965 To obtain it, you'll have to win the "feud." 295 00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:15,901 And since there's no other family here, 296 00:12:15,903 --> 00:12:18,169 We're going straight to fast money! 297 00:12:18,171 --> 00:12:22,241 I'm gonna ask roger and stan the same five questions. 298 00:12:22,243 --> 00:12:25,043 If together, they get over 200 points, 299 00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:27,512 What do the smiths win? 300 00:12:27,514 --> 00:12:29,781 Together: The butthole! 301 00:12:29,783 --> 00:12:31,182 Let's play! 302 00:12:31,184 --> 00:12:33,919 Name something you don't want to see in the ocean. 303 00:12:33,921 --> 00:12:35,186 Shark. Zombies. 304 00:12:35,188 --> 00:12:37,256 What is a place you go on vacation? 305 00:12:37,258 --> 00:12:38,523 Hawaii. Uzbekistan. 306 00:12:38,525 --> 00:12:41,593 Something you don't want to find in your pantry. 307 00:12:41,595 --> 00:12:43,929 Rats. Gotta go with hitler-r-r-r! 308 00:12:43,931 --> 00:12:46,265 A drink you have in the morning. 309 00:12:46,267 --> 00:12:48,067 Coffee. Warm saltwater. 310 00:12:48,069 --> 00:12:50,669 Something you get for your birthday. 311 00:12:50,671 --> 00:12:52,137 Balloons. Potato gravy. 312 00:12:52,139 --> 00:12:54,205 Okay, roger. Yeah? 313 00:12:54,207 --> 00:12:57,142 As you know, stan got 198. 314 00:12:57,144 --> 00:12:59,611 Mm-hmm. You've gotten zero so far. 315 00:12:59,613 --> 00:13:02,815 Yup. All you need is two points. 316 00:13:03,817 --> 00:13:05,484 Your final question was, 317 00:13:05,486 --> 00:13:08,620 "what is something you get for your birthday?" 318 00:13:08,622 --> 00:13:09,621 You said... 319 00:13:09,623 --> 00:13:11,957 Potato gravy. Idiot. 320 00:13:13,427 --> 00:13:15,127 Survey says... 321 00:13:16,229 --> 00:13:18,429 -Oh, yeah! -We did it! 322 00:13:18,431 --> 00:13:20,632 -Whoo-hoo! -The smiths have done it! 323 00:13:20,634 --> 00:13:22,501 They won the butthole! 324 00:13:22,503 --> 00:13:23,702 I ain't gonna lie. 325 00:13:23,704 --> 00:13:25,170 I ain't sad to see it go. 326 00:13:25,172 --> 00:13:27,506 Welcome home, buddy! 327 00:13:27,508 --> 00:13:36,181 ♪♪ 328 00:13:36,183 --> 00:13:37,449 [ arguing in native language ] 329 00:13:37,451 --> 00:13:45,056 ♪♪ 330 00:13:45,058 --> 00:13:46,257 Aah! 331 00:13:46,259 --> 00:13:50,261 At long last, it's finally mine! 332 00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:52,263 Wait, you wanted us to have it? 333 00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:53,465 Why did you make us play the game? 334 00:13:53,467 --> 00:13:55,200 I didn't really think it through. 335 00:13:55,202 --> 00:13:57,602 That's why I gave you points for potato gravy at the end. 336 00:13:57,604 --> 00:14:00,139 Now I'm gonna use this to put my "family feud" 337 00:14:00,141 --> 00:14:01,940 On every channel! 338 00:14:01,942 --> 00:14:03,742 Wait, how? It's very complicated. 339 00:14:03,744 --> 00:14:07,479 Just trust me when I say that I will rule the -- 340 00:14:07,481 --> 00:14:08,479 Jesus! 341 00:14:08,481 --> 00:14:10,949 Whoa! Stan: Don't look at it! 342 00:14:10,951 --> 00:14:12,551 This thing is dangerous. 343 00:14:12,553 --> 00:14:14,620 I'll destroy it. 344 00:14:16,089 --> 00:14:18,524 Suckers. 345 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:23,094 It's just you and me now. 346 00:14:23,096 --> 00:14:25,964 ♪♪ 347 00:14:28,502 --> 00:14:37,042 ♪♪ 348 00:14:37,044 --> 00:14:45,917 ♪♪ 349 00:14:45,919 --> 00:14:54,660 ♪♪ 350 00:14:54,662 --> 00:14:56,728 [ engine starts ] 351 00:14:56,730 --> 00:15:00,432 ♪♪ 352 00:15:02,002 --> 00:15:05,804 Bartender: Usual, dirk? 353 00:15:05,806 --> 00:15:09,941 ♪♪ 354 00:15:09,943 --> 00:15:12,478 Steve: Where is it? 355 00:15:15,015 --> 00:15:16,081 How'd you find me? 356 00:15:16,083 --> 00:15:19,417 Steve: The whole world found you. 357 00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:22,154 Trust me, steve. You don't want it. 358 00:15:22,156 --> 00:15:24,022 Actually, it's the only thing 359 00:15:24,024 --> 00:15:26,291 I've wanted since I saw it that day. 360 00:15:26,293 --> 00:15:28,626 Well, you're out of luck. 361 00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:32,030 I got rid of that thing a long time ago. 362 00:15:32,032 --> 00:15:33,832 Maybe try craigslist. 363 00:15:33,834 --> 00:15:38,037 ♪♪ 364 00:15:41,041 --> 00:15:44,976 ♪♪ 365 00:15:44,978 --> 00:15:47,245 Stan: Aah! Aah! 366 00:15:47,247 --> 00:15:55,187 ♪♪ 367 00:15:55,189 --> 00:16:02,928 ♪♪ 368 00:16:02,930 --> 00:16:06,065 [ clattering ] 369 00:16:22,282 --> 00:16:25,250 [ grunts ] 370 00:16:31,625 --> 00:16:38,397 ♪♪ 371 00:16:41,635 --> 00:16:43,835 ♪♪ 372 00:16:43,837 --> 00:16:45,637 [ vehicle approaching ] [ gasps ] 373 00:16:45,639 --> 00:16:47,839 Aah! 374 00:16:47,841 --> 00:16:53,779 ♪♪ 375 00:16:53,781 --> 00:16:56,314 You led me right to it, little brother. 376 00:16:56,316 --> 00:16:58,116 [ gargles ] 377 00:16:58,118 --> 00:17:01,620 [ straining ] 378 00:17:04,391 --> 00:17:07,993 [ gunshot ] 379 00:17:07,995 --> 00:17:09,595 [ groans ] 380 00:17:09,597 --> 00:17:14,466 ♪♪ 381 00:17:14,468 --> 00:17:16,068 You dropped something. 382 00:17:16,070 --> 00:17:19,137 [ weakly ] I thought we had a deal. 383 00:17:19,139 --> 00:17:22,007 What happened to girls against boys? 384 00:17:22,009 --> 00:17:24,443 Only one problem. 385 00:17:25,879 --> 00:17:27,145 I'm a woman. 386 00:17:27,147 --> 00:17:28,580 [ gunshot ] [ gasps ] 387 00:17:31,819 --> 00:17:33,885 Francine! 388 00:17:33,887 --> 00:17:34,953 [ grunts ] 389 00:17:34,955 --> 00:17:36,822 That's mine! 390 00:17:36,824 --> 00:17:43,361 ♪♪ 391 00:17:43,363 --> 00:17:49,835 ♪♪ 392 00:17:49,837 --> 00:17:50,902 Ow! 393 00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:52,770 Give it up, francine! 394 00:17:52,772 --> 00:17:55,373 You look like shit, stan. 395 00:17:55,375 --> 00:17:56,642 [ spits ] 396 00:17:56,644 --> 00:17:59,377 ♪♪ 397 00:17:59,379 --> 00:18:02,414 [ saw whirring ] 398 00:18:04,051 --> 00:18:06,318 Stan, please! Don't! 399 00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:07,653 You can have it! 400 00:18:07,655 --> 00:18:14,793 ♪♪ 401 00:18:14,795 --> 00:18:21,933 ♪♪ 402 00:18:21,935 --> 00:18:23,935 [ gasps ] 403 00:18:23,937 --> 00:18:26,338 [ choking ] 404 00:18:26,340 --> 00:18:31,143 ♪♪ 405 00:18:31,145 --> 00:18:32,811 [ crack ] 406 00:18:38,285 --> 00:18:41,619 ♪♪ 407 00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:45,924 Hmm, maybe I didn't have time to stop for fries. 408 00:18:47,361 --> 00:18:48,827 The turd! 409 00:18:48,829 --> 00:18:51,229 I must have it! Give me a break, klaus. 410 00:18:51,231 --> 00:18:52,564 You're a fish. You're fine. 411 00:18:52,566 --> 00:18:53,899 Yeah, I just wanted to be a part of it. 412 00:18:53,901 --> 00:18:56,634 And they think I mess everything up. 413 00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:58,570 Look what they do when I'm not around. 414 00:18:58,572 --> 00:19:00,372 Besides, even if I do get them in trouble, 415 00:19:00,374 --> 00:19:01,907 I always get them out of it. 416 00:19:01,909 --> 00:19:03,509 Well, not this time. 417 00:19:03,511 --> 00:19:05,577 This time is a bad example. 418 00:19:05,579 --> 00:19:07,913 This time, they're all dead. 419 00:19:07,915 --> 00:19:09,447 You still have me, roger. 420 00:19:09,449 --> 00:19:12,718 Klaus, please. I'm not in the mood for jokes. 421 00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:20,926 ♪♪ 422 00:19:20,928 --> 00:19:21,993 What the...? 423 00:19:21,995 --> 00:19:22,994 [ groans ] 424 00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:24,196 No, no, no, steve. 425 00:19:24,198 --> 00:19:25,663 Don't come near this bush. 426 00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:28,400 Pal, that burrito did a number on my alien stomach. 427 00:19:28,402 --> 00:19:30,001 Come on. Let's just go home. 428 00:19:30,003 --> 00:19:31,136 Too bad. 429 00:19:31,138 --> 00:19:33,872 I guess I'll never find my special power. 430 00:19:34,942 --> 00:19:38,544 Whoa, this is where I laid the golden turd! 431 00:19:38,546 --> 00:19:40,879 Hey, what am I doing here? Listen! 432 00:19:40,881 --> 00:19:42,814 You can't leave that thing in the bushes! 433 00:19:42,816 --> 00:19:46,017 Someone finds it and ruins your family's lives. 434 00:19:46,019 --> 00:19:47,419 What? Oh, no! 435 00:19:47,421 --> 00:19:49,687 The only way to change the future is to hide it 436 00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:50,889 Where no one can find it. 437 00:19:50,891 --> 00:19:53,358 Don't worry. I'll hide it real good. 438 00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:55,361 Not behind the skateboard in the garage. 439 00:19:55,363 --> 00:19:57,629 Wow, you really want this thing hidden! 440 00:19:57,631 --> 00:19:59,164 Oh, and -- and one more thing. 441 00:19:59,166 --> 00:20:01,367 If you don't want to get kicked out of the house, 442 00:20:01,369 --> 00:20:03,369 Don't ever take up origami. 443 00:20:03,371 --> 00:20:05,304 Okay, bye, me! 444 00:20:07,507 --> 00:20:09,374 Hey, steve! Road trip! 445 00:20:09,376 --> 00:20:11,176 I'm thinking boca raton! 446 00:20:11,178 --> 00:20:13,479 It mean's "rat's mouth"! 447 00:20:18,852 --> 00:20:21,920 Can't we think of one memory that wasn't ruined by roger? 448 00:20:21,922 --> 00:20:23,121 Enchanté! 449 00:20:23,123 --> 00:20:26,191 The name's hibachi liberace: Terrible origami art-- 450 00:20:26,193 --> 00:20:28,994 Wait a second. I feel like I'm not supposed to do this. 451 00:20:28,996 --> 00:20:31,062 Staples mcfoldsalot! 452 00:20:31,064 --> 00:20:31,997 Paper hater! 453 00:20:31,999 --> 00:20:33,599 You think you hate paper? 454 00:20:33,601 --> 00:20:35,367 Wait till you see this! 455 00:20:36,937 --> 00:20:38,570 Stan: Roger! No! That's our... 456 00:20:46,413 --> 00:20:47,745 ♪♪ 457 00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:50,582 Damn it! I want it so bad! 458 00:20:53,220 --> 00:20:58,090 [ suspenseful music plays ] 459 00:20:58,092 --> 00:20:59,725 Bye-bye! See you soon! 36167

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