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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,101 --> 00:00:11,101 Sync & corrections by Costa Dax www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:25,775 --> 00:00:28,694 The lizard men will no longer be subject to rat oppression! 3 00:00:30,710 --> 00:00:31,750 Aw, they're not oppressed. 4 00:00:31,781 --> 00:00:32,824 We raise them as food. 5 00:00:32,877 --> 00:00:33,877 They-they like it. 6 00:00:33,908 --> 00:00:35,201 Well, we are delicious. 7 00:00:35,284 --> 00:00:37,537 No. You should be free to do whatever you want. 8 00:00:37,620 --> 00:00:40,706 - What do lizards like to do? - Mm, bask? 9 00:00:40,790 --> 00:00:43,543 Okay. Then you should bask without fear of being eaten. 10 00:00:43,626 --> 00:00:44,836 Well, that does sounds nice. 11 00:00:44,919 --> 00:00:46,379 This will not stand! 12 00:00:46,462 --> 00:00:48,506 Buddy, my captain's on the way right now. 13 00:00:48,589 --> 00:00:51,029 It's funny. Normally, I'm, like, a huge disappointment to her, 14 00:00:51,113 --> 00:00:52,513 but this time she's gonna be pumped 15 00:00:52,572 --> 00:00:54,053 that I rooted out injustice. 16 00:00:54,136 --> 00:00:55,429 And here comes the praise, 17 00:00:55,513 --> 00:00:57,390 - in five... - Attention, everyone. 18 00:00:57,473 --> 00:01:00,309 I'm afraid my ensign has made a huge mistake. 19 00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:01,978 - What? - Starfleet is forbidden 20 00:01:02,061 --> 00:01:04,188 from interfering in your planetary politics. 21 00:01:04,272 --> 00:01:06,190 You will be free to determine your future 22 00:01:06,274 --> 00:01:07,900 without our influence. 23 00:01:07,984 --> 00:01:11,028 What? How could you... Oh, screw the Prime Directive! 24 00:01:12,103 --> 00:01:13,103 Hey. 25 00:01:13,114 --> 00:01:14,866 You are way out of bounds here. 26 00:01:14,949 --> 00:01:16,075 They're eating those guys. 27 00:01:16,158 --> 00:01:17,243 What am I supposed to do? 28 00:01:17,326 --> 00:01:18,369 Report it to me. 29 00:01:18,452 --> 00:01:21,289 Now I have to explain why there's an interspecies war 30 00:01:21,372 --> 00:01:23,624 on a planet that was peaceful yesterday! 31 00:01:23,708 --> 00:01:25,751 Oh, so you're yelling at me for spreading freedom 32 00:01:25,835 --> 00:01:27,920 because you don't feel like filing a report? 33 00:01:29,005 --> 00:01:31,716 Mariner, I swear, if you weren't my daughter, 34 00:01:31,799 --> 00:01:33,092 you'd be off the Cerritos. 35 00:01:33,115 --> 00:01:34,155 If I wasn't your daughter, 36 00:01:34,176 --> 00:01:35,887 you wouldn't be such a bitch all the time! 37 00:01:35,970 --> 00:01:37,970 That's it. That's it! When we get back to the ship, 38 00:01:37,971 --> 00:01:40,011 - you are going straight to... - Yeah, yeah, I know. 39 00:01:40,012 --> 00:01:41,431 Straight to the brig. Shocker. 40 00:01:41,475 --> 00:01:43,436 Oh, you're not going to the brig. 41 00:01:43,519 --> 00:01:45,271 You're going to therapy. 42 00:01:45,354 --> 00:01:47,732 What?! You think I need therapy? 43 00:01:47,815 --> 00:01:49,066 What? That's... No! 44 00:01:49,150 --> 00:01:50,242 It's the '80s, dude. 45 00:01:50,326 --> 00:01:51,777 We don't have psychiatric problems. 46 00:01:51,861 --> 00:01:53,154 You're a loose cannon. 47 00:01:53,237 --> 00:01:55,156 I don't care how many lizards you save. 48 00:01:55,239 --> 00:01:57,450 You need professional help. 49 00:01:57,533 --> 00:02:00,286 Dr. Migleemo? Oh, he's the worst counselor in the fleet! 50 00:02:00,369 --> 00:02:02,830 He just tosses out nonstop food metaphors! 51 00:02:02,914 --> 00:02:04,290 That's an order, Ensign. 52 00:02:04,373 --> 00:02:05,458 Freeman to Cerritos. 53 00:02:05,465 --> 00:02:06,545 One to beam up. 54 00:02:06,552 --> 00:02:08,512 I don't need therapy! 55 00:02:09,295 --> 00:02:11,797 Okay, look, will you stop eating these guys 56 00:02:11,881 --> 00:02:13,591 if we give you food replicators? 57 00:02:13,674 --> 00:02:15,718 Ha. I don't know. Can they make nutrient pellets? 58 00:02:15,801 --> 00:02:16,969 Yes! 59 00:03:28,457 --> 00:03:30,376 Mariner, this report is 60 00:03:30,459 --> 00:03:33,379 a veritable fruit salad of insubordination. 61 00:03:33,462 --> 00:03:34,896 I don't want to be here. I broke the rules. 62 00:03:34,897 --> 00:03:36,215 I'm supposed to be in the brig. 63 00:03:36,298 --> 00:03:37,425 Sorry. Captain's orders. 64 00:03:37,508 --> 00:03:39,552 She wants us to meet every week, 65 00:03:39,635 --> 00:03:41,178 cooking up some healthy strategies 66 00:03:41,262 --> 00:03:44,332 to marinate you into the officer she knows you can be. 67 00:03:44,415 --> 00:03:45,415 I don't want your help! 68 00:03:45,474 --> 00:03:47,154 I want to show the captain that she's wrong 69 00:03:47,155 --> 00:03:48,853 and then get put... in... the... brig! 70 00:03:48,936 --> 00:03:50,688 Full stop, Beckett. 71 00:03:50,771 --> 00:03:53,232 We need to find an outlet for all that rage. 72 00:03:53,315 --> 00:03:55,234 Have you ever made paella? 73 00:03:57,445 --> 00:03:59,363 Nice shot, da Vinci! 74 00:03:59,447 --> 00:04:00,673 - Grazie. - Hey, guys. 75 00:04:00,674 --> 00:04:02,157 Do you mind if I take over the deck? 76 00:04:02,158 --> 00:04:04,659 I've got a big evaluation with Captain Freeman this afternoon. 77 00:04:04,660 --> 00:04:06,300 She's selecting eager to please candidates 78 00:04:06,301 --> 00:04:07,744 for her advanced diplomacy workshop. 79 00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:09,749 Problem is, I don't know how eager to please. 80 00:04:09,832 --> 00:04:11,292 Ugh, I got to practice. 81 00:04:11,375 --> 00:04:13,753 Computer, load program Boimler seven. 82 00:04:13,836 --> 00:04:16,213 - Ciao, da Vinci. - Ciao, Tendi. 83 00:04:19,216 --> 00:04:21,343 Ugh, you simulated the crew? 84 00:04:21,427 --> 00:04:22,887 Yeah, that way, I can pre-interview 85 00:04:22,970 --> 00:04:24,889 so I don't make any mistakes when it's for real. 86 00:04:24,972 --> 00:04:26,432 I uploaded seven years of entries 87 00:04:26,496 --> 00:04:28,016 from the entire crew's private logs... 88 00:04:28,017 --> 00:04:29,060 Aren't those private? 89 00:04:29,103 --> 00:04:30,423 ...and it algorithmically created 90 00:04:30,424 --> 00:04:32,605 a perfect simulation of everyone on the Cerritos. 91 00:04:32,688 --> 00:04:35,399 They'll respond exactly the way they would in real life. 92 00:04:35,423 --> 00:04:36,423 Ah. 93 00:04:36,445 --> 00:04:37,525 Hey, buddy. How's it going? 94 00:04:37,526 --> 00:04:38,846 Don't talk to me! I'm pissed off! 95 00:04:38,847 --> 00:04:42,017 Whoa! Amazing! We had that exact same conversation an hour ago. 96 00:04:42,073 --> 00:04:44,950 Yeah. Ah. All I got to do is feed it a scenario. 97 00:04:45,034 --> 00:04:47,578 Then the simulated crew fills in the blanks. 98 00:04:47,661 --> 00:04:49,288 It'll give me an edge in my interview. 99 00:04:50,372 --> 00:04:51,791 - Ahoy, Cap'n. - "Ahoy"? 100 00:04:51,874 --> 00:04:54,126 See? I just learned not to say that. 101 00:04:54,210 --> 00:04:56,378 Congrats on the brownnosing program, butt-kisser. 102 00:04:56,462 --> 00:04:58,005 Only you would... Wait. 103 00:04:58,089 --> 00:05:00,174 This is a perfect simulation? 104 00:05:01,500 --> 00:05:02,500 What was that? 105 00:05:02,551 --> 00:05:03,711 Hey, hey, what are you doing? 106 00:05:03,719 --> 00:05:05,638 "Interior. Rickety metal catwalk. Night"? 107 00:05:05,721 --> 00:05:07,601 Mariner! You can't write that about the captain. 108 00:05:07,602 --> 00:05:09,375 Why waste this on some dumb interview prep? 109 00:05:09,458 --> 00:05:11,559 - I'm putting in my own parameters. - If Freeman sees this, 110 00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:12,640 you'll get court-martialed. 111 00:05:12,641 --> 00:05:13,643 What did she ever do to you? 112 00:05:13,644 --> 00:05:14,644 You say I need therapy? 113 00:05:14,645 --> 00:05:15,645 Okay, I'll go to therapy. 114 00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:17,691 Mariner, don't touch my code! Don't touch my... 115 00:05:17,775 --> 00:05:19,485 Therapy...! 116 00:05:21,028 --> 00:05:23,155 What the hell? What did you do to my program? 117 00:05:23,239 --> 00:05:24,857 I made it into an awesome movie. 118 00:05:24,940 --> 00:05:26,659 Oh, I'm gonna work some [BLEEP] out. 119 00:05:28,266 --> 00:05:29,684 All right! 120 00:05:29,767 --> 00:05:31,163 Ooh, nice font. 121 00:05:31,247 --> 00:05:33,499 No, no, what are you talking about? A movie? 122 00:05:33,582 --> 00:05:35,709 What, you wrote out a whole script in two seconds? 123 00:05:35,793 --> 00:05:37,962 I just, like, hit the act breaks, 124 00:05:38,045 --> 00:05:39,630 - couple set pieces. - Set pieces? 125 00:05:39,713 --> 00:05:40,888 The computer's filling in the rest. 126 00:05:40,889 --> 00:05:42,489 I made parts for the crew and all of us! 127 00:05:42,490 --> 00:05:43,490 It's gonna be great! 128 00:05:43,525 --> 00:05:45,594 I don't want to do a movie! 129 00:05:45,678 --> 00:05:47,638 That's okay. You were kind of a Xon, to be honest. 130 00:05:47,721 --> 00:05:49,361 You probably weren't gonna make final cut. 131 00:05:49,362 --> 00:05:50,362 - Who's Xon? - Exactly. 132 00:05:50,432 --> 00:05:52,032 Ooh, I've always wanted to be in a movie! 133 00:05:52,076 --> 00:05:53,636 Can I be the voice of the ship? 134 00:05:53,637 --> 00:05:54,645 "Red alert! Red alert!" 135 00:05:54,711 --> 00:05:56,271 No, no, I got the perfect part for you. 136 00:05:56,272 --> 00:05:57,565 - You're gonna love it. - Guys! 137 00:05:57,648 --> 00:05:59,191 This is an important work tool, 138 00:05:59,275 --> 00:06:00,875 not a fun thing to have a good time with. 139 00:06:00,959 --> 00:06:02,759 Boimler, pipe down. Shh. Come on, the credits. 140 00:06:02,794 --> 00:06:04,029 I don't want this. 141 00:06:04,048 --> 00:06:05,488 - I just want to prep. - Well, tough. 142 00:06:05,489 --> 00:06:07,289 You're just gonna have to wait till it's over. 143 00:06:07,290 --> 00:06:09,370 Come on, come on, come on, let's go get into costume. 144 00:06:09,371 --> 00:06:11,091 - Okey-dokey! - I'm not getting in anything. 145 00:06:11,128 --> 00:06:13,664 Mariner! I want these credits gone now! 146 00:06:13,747 --> 00:06:15,040 Hmm. 147 00:06:15,124 --> 00:06:17,168 Wha...? 148 00:06:20,588 --> 00:06:21,680 Yeah! 149 00:06:21,763 --> 00:06:23,048 Happy birthday, Captain! 150 00:06:23,132 --> 00:06:24,842 I might be getting up in years, 151 00:06:24,925 --> 00:06:27,219 but I still hold the hydroscoot speed record 152 00:06:27,303 --> 00:06:28,512 back at the Academy! 153 00:06:28,596 --> 00:06:30,008 Captain out! 154 00:06:30,009 --> 00:06:31,690 Whoa! 155 00:06:31,773 --> 00:06:33,392 - Get him, Captain! - Shut up! 156 00:06:33,475 --> 00:06:34,768 I'll kill you! I... 157 00:06:34,852 --> 00:06:36,937 Oh, I can't stay mad. 158 00:06:39,106 --> 00:06:40,141 Good one, Cap'n! 159 00:06:40,224 --> 00:06:42,583 I don't remember giving you permission to scoot with us, Ensign. 160 00:06:42,584 --> 00:06:44,224 Yeah, actually, I need to borrow the cap'n 161 00:06:44,295 --> 00:06:46,197 - for a quick interview. - It's her birthday! 162 00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:47,960 Um, can I at least ask what she likes more, 163 00:06:47,961 --> 00:06:50,409 when bridge officers arrive early or stay late? 164 00:06:50,492 --> 00:06:51,952 A question like that makes me think 165 00:06:52,036 --> 00:06:54,163 you're asking the wrong questions. 166 00:06:54,246 --> 00:06:55,581 Good... to... know. 167 00:06:55,624 --> 00:06:56,944 Sorry to interrupt your vacation. 168 00:06:56,945 --> 00:06:58,250 This isn't a vacation. 169 00:06:58,334 --> 00:07:00,419 It's important scientific research. 170 00:07:00,502 --> 00:07:02,796 Vacation's over. 171 00:07:03,631 --> 00:07:05,925 Sorry for the short notice, Captain Freeman. 172 00:07:06,008 --> 00:07:07,468 Not a problem at all, Admiral. 173 00:07:07,551 --> 00:07:09,631 - How can we help? - We've received a bizarre message 174 00:07:09,632 --> 00:07:10,988 from the leaders of Idlocana XI. 175 00:07:11,071 --> 00:07:12,473 Their president wanted to thank us 176 00:07:12,556 --> 00:07:13,974 for a wonderful second contact 177 00:07:14,058 --> 00:07:15,476 with the crew of the San Clemente. 178 00:07:15,559 --> 00:07:16,894 So? What's wrong with that? 179 00:07:16,977 --> 00:07:19,730 Starfleet doesn't have a San Clemente. 180 00:07:19,813 --> 00:07:23,484 Whoever second-contacted them wasn't our ship. 181 00:07:23,567 --> 00:07:24,944 What a mystery. 182 00:07:25,027 --> 00:07:26,487 Uh, whose boy is this? 183 00:07:26,570 --> 00:07:27,780 Ensign Brad Boimler, sir. 184 00:07:27,863 --> 00:07:29,615 Here to learn. 185 00:07:29,698 --> 00:07:31,033 This impostor... 186 00:07:31,116 --> 00:07:32,993 you want the Cerritos to investigate? 187 00:07:33,077 --> 00:07:35,287 Get in, get me intel, then get out. 188 00:07:35,371 --> 00:07:37,623 And, Freeman, stick to the plan this time. 189 00:07:37,706 --> 00:07:40,125 If this was actually happening, they'd send the Enterprise. 190 00:07:40,209 --> 00:07:41,919 But, you know, artistic license. 191 00:07:42,002 --> 00:07:44,338 Luckily, the Cerritos just went through some upgrades. 192 00:07:44,421 --> 00:07:47,716 We should be more than suitable for the task. 193 00:07:49,802 --> 00:07:52,596 The Cerritos is ready to launch whenever you are. 194 00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:54,139 Oh. 195 00:07:54,223 --> 00:07:55,683 There she is. 196 00:08:51,238 --> 00:08:53,907 She never fails to take my breath away. 197 00:08:53,991 --> 00:08:56,493 - I wish I could kiss her and squeeze her. - Excuse me? 198 00:08:56,577 --> 00:08:59,538 Uh, uh, the Cerritos is a handsome lady. 199 00:08:59,621 --> 00:09:01,707 You're damn right about that, Boimler. 200 00:09:01,790 --> 00:09:05,586 Call the ship a handsome lady. 201 00:09:14,845 --> 00:09:16,805 Hmm. 202 00:09:18,265 --> 00:09:21,393 Captain, we're ready for your command. 203 00:09:21,477 --> 00:09:24,772 Mm, time to take this puppy off its leash. 204 00:09:25,373 --> 00:09:26,773 Warp speed. 205 00:09:42,998 --> 00:09:45,158 The selenium rings are disrupting the sensors, Captain. 206 00:09:45,159 --> 00:09:46,877 I'm not detecting any Federation... 207 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:48,462 Hold on. 208 00:09:48,545 --> 00:09:50,506 - Enemy vessel decloaking! - Raise shields! 209 00:09:56,117 --> 00:09:58,575 Like a rat to the bait, Freeman. 210 00:09:58,639 --> 00:10:01,558 Predictable as always. 211 00:10:01,642 --> 00:10:03,727 - Who is this marauder, Captain? - I don't know. 212 00:10:03,811 --> 00:10:07,106 I am Vindicta, vengeance personified! 213 00:10:07,189 --> 00:10:08,899 At last, Freeman. 214 00:10:08,982 --> 00:10:11,318 I will bathe in your blood. 215 00:10:11,402 --> 00:10:13,612 Oh, boy, somebody's really laying it on thick. 216 00:10:13,695 --> 00:10:16,615 Behold my three henchmen of the apo... 217 00:10:16,698 --> 00:10:18,492 of the Vin-pocalypse. 218 00:10:18,575 --> 00:10:21,453 Tendi, my savage warrior queen 219 00:10:21,537 --> 00:10:26,250 who comes from a long line of thieving Orion pirates. 220 00:10:26,333 --> 00:10:28,710 Yeah, nobody messes with Orions. 221 00:10:28,794 --> 00:10:31,797 I'll steal from anyone and never give it back. Theft! 222 00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:33,298 And, uh, 223 00:10:33,382 --> 00:10:34,675 B-Bionic 5, 224 00:10:34,758 --> 00:10:37,761 half man-meat, half robot-meat, all pain. 225 00:10:37,845 --> 00:10:39,972 100% pain. 226 00:10:40,055 --> 00:10:44,101 Tremble at the sight of the great Vindicta! 227 00:10:44,184 --> 00:10:45,811 And Shempo. 228 00:10:45,894 --> 00:10:48,981 I'm Shempo. I was supposed to be played by Boimler. 229 00:10:49,064 --> 00:10:50,816 Okay, come on. I don't sound like that. 230 00:10:50,899 --> 00:10:53,444 I love my captain, and I don't want to be doing this. 231 00:10:53,527 --> 00:10:55,195 All right, that's not too far off. 232 00:10:55,279 --> 00:10:57,448 You're posing as Starfleet. Why? 233 00:10:57,531 --> 00:11:00,033 Because I do what I want! Ugh, you're a jerk, Freeman. 234 00:11:00,117 --> 00:11:02,286 You're nothing but a propped up errand girl, 235 00:11:02,369 --> 00:11:05,789 blindly licking Starfleet's boot and begging for heel. 236 00:11:05,873 --> 00:11:07,875 Oh! Vindicta got your ass. 237 00:11:07,958 --> 00:11:10,335 Look, there's no need for theatrics, all right? 238 00:11:10,419 --> 00:11:13,338 - I'm sure you're a reasonable... - Shempo got you tea, master. 239 00:11:13,422 --> 00:11:15,674 This is coffee! 240 00:11:15,757 --> 00:11:17,509 I was Shempo. 241 00:11:17,593 --> 00:11:19,178 That poor Shempo! 242 00:11:19,261 --> 00:11:21,513 You didn't have to do that. Are you out of your mind? 243 00:11:21,597 --> 00:11:23,724 Freeman, you disgust me. 244 00:11:23,807 --> 00:11:25,976 You're a coward who hides behind rank. 245 00:11:26,059 --> 00:11:27,352 You can't even appreciate 246 00:11:27,436 --> 00:11:29,104 your most valuable, creative thinkers. 247 00:11:29,188 --> 00:11:31,356 I am Vindicta! Today you die. 248 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:33,525 This Vindicta is all over the place. 249 00:11:33,609 --> 00:11:35,527 "Hell is empty, and all the devils are here. 250 00:11:35,611 --> 00:11:37,946 Our revels now are ended". 251 00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:39,990 Wait, is she quoting "The Tempest"? 252 00:11:43,619 --> 00:11:45,537 "Hell is empty, and all the devils are... 253 00:11:45,621 --> 00:11:47,206 "Hell is empty, and all the devils 254 00:11:47,289 --> 00:11:49,249 - are here". - Wait, this is a recording. 255 00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:50,250 It's a distraction. 256 00:11:50,292 --> 00:11:51,668 Winger? 257 00:11:51,752 --> 00:11:53,337 Hi. I'm Lieutenant Lemonts. 258 00:11:53,420 --> 00:11:55,756 Your one-man show took my breath away. 259 00:11:55,839 --> 00:11:57,174 Thank you. Thank... 260 00:12:02,971 --> 00:12:05,390 Freeman! Bring me Free... 261 00:12:06,433 --> 00:12:08,836 God, these stupid capes. So much fabric. 262 00:12:12,606 --> 00:12:15,359 Bring me Freeman, and I'll let you live. 263 00:12:15,442 --> 00:12:16,693 Never, witch! 264 00:12:18,445 --> 00:12:19,738 Wow. 265 00:12:19,821 --> 00:12:21,031 Boimler did a good job. 266 00:12:21,114 --> 00:12:22,434 Chief Lundy's accent was spot-on. 267 00:12:22,491 --> 00:12:24,243 Yeah, and the way his face was all blotchy? 268 00:12:24,326 --> 00:12:26,745 - Wait, do you think Billups is in here? - Eh, probably. 269 00:12:26,828 --> 00:12:29,081 So I can say whatever I want to my boss 270 00:12:29,164 --> 00:12:30,958 with no consequences? 271 00:12:33,168 --> 00:12:35,712 - Hey, wait! We have to hench! - Tendi, come on. 272 00:12:35,796 --> 00:12:37,214 Pirate it up. Take some slaves. 273 00:12:37,297 --> 00:12:40,384 Oh, uh, you know the whole "Orions taking slaves" thing? 274 00:12:40,467 --> 00:12:42,427 It's not something I really like to... 275 00:12:42,511 --> 00:12:44,096 Dirty Orion. 276 00:12:44,129 --> 00:12:45,129 Lundy! 277 00:12:48,392 --> 00:12:51,103 Give me Freeman! 278 00:12:51,186 --> 00:12:53,605 Attack formation Raptor. 279 00:12:53,689 --> 00:12:55,489 This isn't my first overpowered space warlord, 280 00:12:55,524 --> 00:12:57,442 and it won't be my last. 281 00:12:59,528 --> 00:13:01,738 Ransom, you think you're better than me? 282 00:13:01,822 --> 00:13:03,782 Better at being the captain's little dick wig. 283 00:13:03,865 --> 00:13:05,551 You can talk the talk, but can you... Ow! 284 00:13:05,634 --> 00:13:07,802 Walk the walk! She can do both! 285 00:13:07,803 --> 00:13:09,621 - Oh, she's walkin' and talkin'. - Sir, quick, 286 00:13:09,705 --> 00:13:11,465 what's the captain's favorite type of cookie? 287 00:13:11,466 --> 00:13:13,500 - What?! - Tell me before you succumb to the pain. 288 00:13:13,584 --> 00:13:14,793 If I were to bake her cookies, 289 00:13:14,876 --> 00:13:16,962 what would be my best bet? 290 00:13:17,045 --> 00:13:19,339 Cap's got a sweet tooth. Cookies are a good move. 291 00:13:19,423 --> 00:13:21,466 I've done it myself. But watch out. 292 00:13:21,550 --> 00:13:23,468 She's allergic to... 293 00:13:24,845 --> 00:13:26,263 Allergic to what? Ransom! 294 00:13:26,346 --> 00:13:28,849 Allergic to what?! 295 00:13:28,932 --> 00:13:30,267 At your stations, people. 296 00:13:30,350 --> 00:13:31,643 This is not a drill. 297 00:13:31,727 --> 00:13:34,521 Billups! Show yourself! 298 00:13:34,605 --> 00:13:35,772 Sir, get down! 299 00:13:40,068 --> 00:13:41,111 Engineering, evacuate! 300 00:13:44,197 --> 00:13:45,949 Andy Billups! 301 00:13:46,033 --> 00:13:48,994 You think you're the best engineer in the fleet. 302 00:13:49,077 --> 00:13:50,677 Well, I've wanted to say something to you 303 00:13:50,746 --> 00:13:53,040 for a long time. 304 00:13:53,123 --> 00:13:54,916 You are the best engineer in the fleet! 305 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:57,336 - Huh? - I love how you program subroutines. 306 00:13:57,419 --> 00:13:58,503 It's breathtaking. 307 00:13:58,587 --> 00:14:00,797 It feels so good to say it. 308 00:14:00,881 --> 00:14:02,799 Warning. Hydron levels critical. 309 00:14:02,883 --> 00:14:04,343 Damn it! We don't have much time. 310 00:14:04,426 --> 00:14:06,678 Rerouting the vent system would take a whole team. 311 00:14:06,762 --> 00:14:08,180 If we bypass the indacontrols 312 00:14:08,263 --> 00:14:09,343 and suppress the sativents, 313 00:14:09,389 --> 00:14:10,682 it should function as a... 314 00:14:10,766 --> 00:14:12,517 Rudimentary plasma filter. 315 00:14:12,601 --> 00:14:15,646 Wow, for a random space marauder, 316 00:14:15,729 --> 00:14:17,731 you really know your way around a starship. 317 00:14:17,814 --> 00:14:19,149 Aw, thanks. 318 00:14:20,150 --> 00:14:21,902 Intruder! 319 00:14:22,903 --> 00:14:24,196 When you get to hell, 320 00:14:24,279 --> 00:14:26,198 tell the Pah-wraiths that Shaxs sent you! 321 00:14:26,281 --> 00:14:29,034 Special delivery straight from Bajor! 322 00:14:30,077 --> 00:14:31,203 Ah, shut up. 323 00:14:39,127 --> 00:14:41,046 Borg head? 324 00:14:41,129 --> 00:14:43,423 Designation: explosive. 325 00:14:46,635 --> 00:14:48,220 Oh, look! 326 00:14:48,303 --> 00:14:50,130 Oh, Shaxs's earring. You have to wear it. 327 00:14:50,214 --> 00:14:51,974 - Come here. Come here. - Uh, I-I don't know. 328 00:14:51,977 --> 00:14:53,617 Isn't there, like, religious significance? 329 00:14:53,618 --> 00:14:55,233 I mean, some of his ear's still on it. 330 00:14:55,268 --> 00:14:57,020 Come on, dude. Orions are pirates! 331 00:14:57,044 --> 00:14:58,204 Pillaging's your whole thing. 332 00:14:58,205 --> 00:15:00,899 Okay, stop! It is not my whole thing. 333 00:15:00,982 --> 00:15:03,263 And for your information, many Orions haven't been pirates 334 00:15:03,318 --> 00:15:05,028 for over five years! 335 00:15:05,112 --> 00:15:08,240 Okay, sorry. Look, you can just be my generic warrior henchman. 336 00:15:08,323 --> 00:15:10,409 Come on! Come on, let's go torture the cat doctor. 337 00:15:10,492 --> 00:15:12,092 Like, really torture the hell out of her. 338 00:15:12,093 --> 00:15:13,537 Her name is Dr. T'Ana. 339 00:15:13,620 --> 00:15:16,206 You're way too into this. This is messed up. 340 00:15:16,289 --> 00:15:18,083 It's the holodeck. It's not real. 341 00:15:18,166 --> 00:15:20,085 Die! Die! 342 00:15:21,962 --> 00:15:24,631 What is with you today? This is not healthy. 343 00:15:24,715 --> 00:15:25,958 - Can we stop the movie? - No! 344 00:15:26,041 --> 00:15:27,459 No, I'm fine. This is feeling good. 345 00:15:27,496 --> 00:15:29,176 Come on, let me just take down the captain, 346 00:15:29,177 --> 00:15:30,295 and then we can grab tacos. 347 00:15:30,378 --> 00:15:32,264 I don't want to watch you phaser the captain. 348 00:15:32,347 --> 00:15:34,099 Phaser? 349 00:15:34,182 --> 00:15:37,310 Oh, it's going to be way worse than that. 350 00:15:37,394 --> 00:15:39,730 I am out of here. Arch. 351 00:15:39,813 --> 00:15:41,606 Hey, come on. 352 00:15:41,690 --> 00:15:43,233 This isn't you. 353 00:15:43,316 --> 00:15:44,693 It is, too! 354 00:15:48,196 --> 00:15:50,824 Ransom. Shaxs. Anyone, come in. 355 00:15:52,659 --> 00:15:55,620 No one left to hide behind, Captain. 356 00:15:55,704 --> 00:15:58,457 It's just me and you. 357 00:15:58,540 --> 00:15:59,916 And-and these guys. 358 00:16:04,296 --> 00:16:05,672 You'll never take my ship. 359 00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:07,299 I don't want your ship. 360 00:16:07,382 --> 00:16:09,301 I want you to stop treating me 361 00:16:09,384 --> 00:16:10,844 like I'm the bad guy all the time. 362 00:16:10,927 --> 00:16:12,137 You are the bad guy. 363 00:16:12,220 --> 00:16:14,806 No, I'm not. Why don't you ever side with me? 364 00:16:14,890 --> 00:16:16,266 I don't even know you. 365 00:16:16,349 --> 00:16:17,809 Exactly! 366 00:16:17,893 --> 00:16:20,479 Oh, my God. You're-you're crazy. 367 00:16:20,562 --> 00:16:23,356 No, this is crazy. 368 00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:25,150 Sir, her ship. 369 00:16:25,233 --> 00:16:27,360 - The warp core's gone critical. - Brace for impact! 370 00:17:01,102 --> 00:17:02,942 Warning. Warning. 371 00:17:02,943 --> 00:17:06,530 The ship has crashed. Warning. 372 00:17:11,780 --> 00:17:14,032 Oh, damn it. 373 00:17:16,368 --> 00:17:18,870 All surviving crew, emergency evacuation protocol: 374 00:17:18,954 --> 00:17:20,872 Delta Echo. 375 00:17:20,956 --> 00:17:23,250 I'll keep systems functional for as long as possible. 376 00:17:23,333 --> 00:17:26,002 You can do this. We can do this. 377 00:17:26,086 --> 00:17:27,886 Cerritos strong! 378 00:17:27,887 --> 00:17:29,586 Oh, when are you going to give up 379 00:17:29,589 --> 00:17:31,716 - the "loving captain" act? - It's not an act! 380 00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:33,593 I'm overflowing with love and affection! 381 00:17:33,677 --> 00:17:35,595 - Oh, shut up! - You shut up! 382 00:17:37,973 --> 00:17:39,516 Sir, are you okay? 383 00:17:39,599 --> 00:17:40,892 I'll live, 384 00:17:40,976 --> 00:17:43,228 - but the rest of the crew... - Will be fine. 385 00:17:43,311 --> 00:17:45,822 I initiated a rapid repeating emergency transport sequence 386 00:17:45,906 --> 00:17:47,666 and beamed the entire crew before we crashed. 387 00:17:47,750 --> 00:17:49,026 What? But that's not possible. 388 00:17:49,109 --> 00:17:51,110 No, it's a movie. You can beam whatever you want. 389 00:17:51,111 --> 00:17:53,031 You can do all sorts of beaming stuff in a movie! 390 00:17:53,032 --> 00:17:54,406 What?! That is amazing! 391 00:17:54,489 --> 00:17:56,700 - I learned it from you, sir. - Uh... okay. 392 00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:07,752 What is your problem?! 393 00:18:07,836 --> 00:18:09,421 You've been a jerk since I was eight! 394 00:18:09,504 --> 00:18:11,548 Why do you have to be so hard on me?! 395 00:18:11,631 --> 00:18:13,592 What? I don't know you! 396 00:18:39,618 --> 00:18:42,746 Get off my mom, you bitch. 397 00:18:42,829 --> 00:18:45,624 Oh! Wait. What? 398 00:18:45,707 --> 00:18:48,335 You simulated me in here, too? Not cool, man! 399 00:18:48,418 --> 00:18:50,629 I got private stuff in those logs! 400 00:18:50,712 --> 00:18:53,298 Emergency transport on signal now! 401 00:18:53,381 --> 00:18:54,674 Beckett, no! 402 00:18:56,217 --> 00:18:57,969 Oh, great. Well, now it's just us. 403 00:18:58,053 --> 00:19:00,053 Yeah, thanks for ruining the awesome captain-murder 404 00:19:00,054 --> 00:19:01,473 this was all building to. 405 00:19:01,556 --> 00:19:03,934 We were supposed to fight on a rickety metal catwalk. 406 00:19:04,017 --> 00:19:05,697 Oh. Let me make it up to you. Double punch! 407 00:19:05,698 --> 00:19:07,354 Double block. 408 00:19:07,437 --> 00:19:09,522 - Whoa. How did you...? - I know all your moves 409 00:19:09,606 --> 00:19:11,441 and everything about you. 410 00:19:11,524 --> 00:19:13,818 I know you dressed up like Toby Targ every Halloween, 411 00:19:13,902 --> 00:19:17,989 even when you were too old. 412 00:19:18,073 --> 00:19:20,450 And I know you actually love the warp core! 413 00:19:20,533 --> 00:19:22,243 Take that back. The warp core's lame! 414 00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:26,665 You only break rules because you know 415 00:19:26,748 --> 00:19:29,501 that's what everyone expects you to do! 416 00:19:29,584 --> 00:19:30,877 If you really were a badass, 417 00:19:30,961 --> 00:19:32,671 you'd do the hard thing and just be 418 00:19:32,754 --> 00:19:34,172 a good officer. 419 00:19:37,258 --> 00:19:39,970 They're not casting you as the villain. You are! 420 00:19:46,267 --> 00:19:49,062 Hey, I know you might be a psychotic space raider 421 00:19:49,145 --> 00:19:51,022 whose boss just destroyed my ship, 422 00:19:51,106 --> 00:19:53,984 but you... are all right in my book. 423 00:19:54,067 --> 00:19:56,778 That's a book I'd read cover to cover. 424 00:19:56,861 --> 00:19:59,864 Sir, you're the only person who can see past my mask, 425 00:19:59,948 --> 00:20:01,866 and knows deep down, I just want 426 00:20:01,950 --> 00:20:04,428 to replace a toranium ops module with ionizing subcircuits. 427 00:20:04,511 --> 00:20:07,121 I know this is crazy, but do you want to just... I don't know... 428 00:20:07,122 --> 00:20:09,042 run away together, and we could get our own ship, 429 00:20:09,124 --> 00:20:11,044 and we can buffer the phase coil whenever we want 430 00:20:11,045 --> 00:20:13,253 or... or realign the matrix. 431 00:20:13,336 --> 00:20:16,589 We can fix the warp engines on our time. 432 00:20:16,673 --> 00:20:18,425 It would be an honor, sir. 433 00:20:19,676 --> 00:20:22,888 Godspeed, you crazy [BLEEP]. 434 00:20:22,971 --> 00:20:25,064 Ugh. Cap'n, I know you've been through a lot today, 435 00:20:25,065 --> 00:20:27,141 but I made you a platter of chocolate chip cookies, 436 00:20:27,142 --> 00:20:29,302 and I just want to know what you think before I give it 437 00:20:29,303 --> 00:20:31,297 to the real you in real life, so if you could... 438 00:20:31,298 --> 00:20:33,550 The captain's allergic to chocolate. Assassin! 439 00:20:34,649 --> 00:20:36,109 Great work, Jet! 440 00:20:36,192 --> 00:20:37,632 That's the kind of assassin-tackling 441 00:20:37,652 --> 00:20:39,112 that'll land you a promotion. 442 00:20:39,195 --> 00:20:40,572 Oh, hell yeah, Jet! 443 00:20:40,655 --> 00:20:42,455 Wait, wait. Cap'n, Cap'n, where do you want me 444 00:20:42,456 --> 00:20:43,650 to see myself in five years? 445 00:20:43,734 --> 00:20:45,784 Don't answer that, Captain. He's playing mind games! 446 00:20:45,785 --> 00:20:46,870 You're the man, Jet. 447 00:20:46,953 --> 00:20:48,538 - Get him out of here. - Let's go. 448 00:20:48,621 --> 00:20:50,081 How can I be the man, Cap'n? 449 00:20:50,165 --> 00:20:51,583 I want to be the man! 450 00:21:00,925 --> 00:21:02,635 That's it. Keep up the act. 451 00:21:02,719 --> 00:21:05,263 Oh, you know so much about me, 452 00:21:05,346 --> 00:21:07,932 but you missed one big thing. 453 00:21:08,016 --> 00:21:10,894 Oh, yeah, here we go... time for one of your snarky jokes. 454 00:21:10,977 --> 00:21:12,937 Yeah, I may hate protocol, 455 00:21:13,021 --> 00:21:15,148 but I don't hate this ship. 456 00:21:15,231 --> 00:21:17,231 I don't hate the crew. I work with my best friends. 457 00:21:17,232 --> 00:21:19,944 The captain's my mom. I would do anything for her. 458 00:21:20,028 --> 00:21:21,613 Oh, come on. No, you hate the captain. 459 00:21:21,696 --> 00:21:23,114 You complain about her nonstop. 460 00:21:23,198 --> 00:21:24,574 It's like your whole thing! 461 00:21:24,657 --> 00:21:26,409 Yeah, I mean, she's hard on me, right? 462 00:21:26,493 --> 00:21:28,253 She's the captain, and I'm a pain in the ass. 463 00:21:28,328 --> 00:21:29,848 But if she kicked me off the Cerritos, 464 00:21:29,871 --> 00:21:31,581 I would be done in Starfleet. 465 00:21:31,664 --> 00:21:33,917 She's watching out for me the only way she knows how: 466 00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:36,127 in a [BLEEP] up, overbearing, mom way. 467 00:21:36,211 --> 00:21:38,630 Oh, please. The only person you care about is yourself. 468 00:21:41,174 --> 00:21:42,974 Okay, well, then why did I let you kick my ass 469 00:21:43,051 --> 00:21:44,771 to buy time for everyone to get off the ship 470 00:21:44,772 --> 00:21:47,472 before the self-destruct timer went off? 471 00:21:47,555 --> 00:21:49,849 Wait. What? 472 00:21:54,229 --> 00:21:57,148 No, no, no, no. No, no, no! Aah! 473 00:21:57,232 --> 00:21:59,275 No! 474 00:22:02,904 --> 00:22:05,657 Wow. I can't believe I just got my ass kicked by myself 475 00:22:05,740 --> 00:22:07,325 and just... Wait. 476 00:22:07,408 --> 00:22:09,008 I guess I like working on the ship and... 477 00:22:09,035 --> 00:22:12,205 Oh, my God. Therapy works. Guys, therapy works! 478 00:22:15,542 --> 00:22:17,669 Honestly, that was way more therapeutic 479 00:22:17,752 --> 00:22:19,752 than I thought it would be. I worked through a lot. 480 00:22:19,753 --> 00:22:21,548 I feel great, too. I just wish 481 00:22:21,631 --> 00:22:23,631 I could tell the real Billups how I feel about him. 482 00:22:23,632 --> 00:22:25,175 Why don't you, man? He's right there. 483 00:22:25,259 --> 00:22:27,220 Nah, I wouldn't want to bother him. I mean, 484 00:22:27,303 --> 00:22:32,183 look at him. Dude's a stone-cold badass. 485 00:22:32,267 --> 00:22:34,978 Hey, T. I owe you an apology. 486 00:22:35,061 --> 00:22:37,063 The whole Orions-pirate thing. 487 00:22:37,147 --> 00:22:39,524 I-I feel really bad. I'm sorry if I put you in a weird spot. 488 00:22:39,607 --> 00:22:42,026 Thanks. I appreciate it, and the truth is, 489 00:22:42,110 --> 00:22:44,737 a lot of Orions are capitalist, hyper-libertarian, 490 00:22:44,821 --> 00:22:47,031 gangster pirates, just not this one. 491 00:22:47,115 --> 00:22:48,715 - That's why I'm here. - Oh, well, thanks 492 00:22:48,741 --> 00:22:50,743 for having my back in there. I owe you one. 493 00:22:50,827 --> 00:22:52,871 Um, so, do you want to maybe go sit 494 00:22:52,954 --> 00:22:54,314 and look at the warp core with me? 495 00:22:54,330 --> 00:22:56,332 Wow, so lame. Yes. Let's do it. 496 00:22:56,416 --> 00:22:58,835 We talking warp core? Ooh, baby, I'm in. 497 00:23:02,797 --> 00:23:05,425 - Mariner. - Hey, Cap. Sorry about earlier today. 498 00:23:05,508 --> 00:23:07,719 I was way out of line. Thanks for looking out. 499 00:23:08,761 --> 00:23:09,971 Later, skater. 500 00:23:11,806 --> 00:23:14,225 "Later skater"? I know she's up to something! 501 00:23:14,309 --> 00:23:15,560 What did she tell you? 502 00:23:15,643 --> 00:23:17,187 Captain, you know I can't share 503 00:23:17,270 --> 00:23:18,563 what your crew tells me. 504 00:23:18,646 --> 00:23:20,565 That'd be a real ethical pickle. 505 00:23:20,624 --> 00:23:22,024 What?! If she's planning something, 506 00:23:22,025 --> 00:23:23,943 - I have a right to know. - Carol, 507 00:23:24,027 --> 00:23:25,570 you're being a pineapple right now. 508 00:23:25,653 --> 00:23:28,406 Ugh! Stop referencing foods! 509 00:23:29,666 --> 00:23:31,592 Okay. No more distractions. I just need to know 510 00:23:31,593 --> 00:23:33,452 what to wear to the interview. 511 00:23:33,453 --> 00:23:34,973 Computer, continue program. 512 00:23:34,974 --> 00:23:36,536 Hey, Cap'n, do you like turtlenecks 513 00:23:36,539 --> 00:23:38,820 - or just standard uniform? - Against insurmountable odds. 514 00:23:38,833 --> 00:23:40,953 Oh, sorry. You got something going on here. I'll wait. 515 00:23:40,954 --> 00:23:43,254 As captain, it was an honor serving beside her. 516 00:23:43,338 --> 00:23:46,758 As a mother, it was a privilege to call Mariner my daughter. 517 00:23:46,841 --> 00:23:48,885 - Wait. What? - That's right. 518 00:23:48,968 --> 00:23:50,637 Mariner was my daughter the whole time. 519 00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:52,764 It's a secret we didn't want anyone to know. 520 00:23:52,847 --> 00:23:54,727 - Uh, uh... - And if someone had ever 521 00:23:54,730 --> 00:23:55,970 found out she was my baby girl, 522 00:23:56,023 --> 00:23:57,619 I don't know what I would have done. 523 00:23:57,702 --> 00:23:59,196 Probably kicked them off the ship, 524 00:23:59,279 --> 00:24:01,655 maybe even court-martialed them right out of Starfleet. 525 00:24:01,656 --> 00:24:03,274 I was being crazy. 526 00:24:03,358 --> 00:24:04,776 Thank goodness 527 00:24:04,859 --> 00:24:07,111 - nobody ever found out. - Computer, end program! 528 00:24:09,822 --> 00:24:11,783 Ooh! 529 00:24:11,866 --> 00:24:13,906 Hey, nerd, we're going to go stare at the warp core. 530 00:24:13,907 --> 00:24:15,453 You want to...? Whoa. You okay? 531 00:24:15,536 --> 00:24:17,956 - Yeah. - All right, whatevs. Hey. 532 00:24:18,039 --> 00:24:20,079 Good luck with the interview. You're gonna do great. 533 00:24:23,002 --> 00:24:24,482 So, you're interested 534 00:24:24,483 --> 00:24:26,152 in the advanced diplomacy workshop. 535 00:24:26,172 --> 00:24:28,800 Where do you see yourself negotiating peace in five years? 536 00:24:28,883 --> 00:24:30,802 I... uh... 537 00:24:30,885 --> 00:24:33,763 Just take a breath and say the first thing that comes to mind. 538 00:24:33,846 --> 00:24:35,473 - Mariner. - Mariner what?! 539 00:24:35,556 --> 00:24:38,476 - Uh... is hot? - Excuse me?! 540 00:24:38,559 --> 00:24:41,646 Uh, I don't know! She's not hot! She's nasty! 541 00:24:45,441 --> 00:24:49,862 Ensign Boimler didn't bother to prepare for interview. Terrible. 542 00:25:02,250 --> 00:25:04,627 Revenge! 543 00:25:04,711 --> 00:25:06,504 Not-a today. 544 00:25:06,587 --> 00:25:09,799 Not-a on-a da Vinci's watch. 545 00:26:07,316 --> 00:26:13,316 Sync & corrections by Costa Dax www.addic7ed.com 546 00:27:00,104 --> 00:27:02,264 Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew. 547 00:27:03,914 --> 00:27:04,914 Chirp. 40632

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