All language subtitles for S3E3-Wilbur And Ed In Show Biz_Subtítulos01.ENG

[whinnies]

Hello. I'm Mister Ed.

♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪

♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪

♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪

♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪

♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪

♪ He'll give you
the answer ♪

♪ That you'll endorse ♪

♪ He's always
on a steady course ♪

♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪

Good morning, Ed.

Good morning, Wilbur.

Up pretty early, aren't you?

Well, I've got a new client
coming in to see me.

A Mr. Hodges wants
to discuss some plans.

Good.

The more you work,
the more I eat.

Yeah. Ah, where'd
you get the apples?

Uh...I've got a friend.

Well, I didn't give them
to you.

It must have been Carol,
huh?

Uh--

I'm glad you two
are getting along better.

Well, we're both blondes,
you know.

Have an apple, buddy boy.

Well, thanks, Ed.

That's, that's very
generous of you.

Easy come, easy go.

Yeah, that's true.
Ooh, very refreshing.

If you want an apple,
we've got a whole basketful.

That was a whole tree full.

These apples
came from my tree.

Roger Addison,
are you accusing my wife

of stealing your apples?

Not your wife, Wilbur Post,
but I'll give you a hint.

If the thief doesn't stop,

I'm going to break
all the pencils on his desk.

Now, why would I
take your apples?

To feed
that four-footed glutton.

Look! He's eating one now!

Oh!

Now look, Roger--

So, uh, Carol gave you
the apples, huh?

Now, you said that, not me.

Roger thinks
I took the apples,

and you know you did.

I wouldn't blame you

if you never spoke
to that man again.

All right, Ed,
let's have the truth.

Well, uh, uh, eh--

Well?

Don't rush me.

It isn't easy
to make up the truth.

[Carol]
Wilbur!

Uh-oh. Roger
must have told her.

Now, I'm going
to get chewed out

for something you chewed up.

Well, crime doesn't pay,
but it sure is delicious.

I'm Bill Hodges.

Oh, hello, Mr. Hodges.
I've been expecting you.

Won't you come into my office?

Oh, thank you.

Mr. Post, I heard
about your setup here

with your office
and a stall for the horse.

I'd, uh, I'd like you to design
something similar for me.

Oh, do you own a horse?

No, no, an elephant.

Elephant? [laughing]

That's quite an unusual pet.

Oh, Margie isn't a pet.
She's my partner.

We're in show business,
and I want to build her

the most beautiful barn
in the world.

Well, you must be
very fond of her.

Well, you own a horse,
Mr. Post.

You must know
the feeling you have

when an animal is faithful,
dependable, and trustworthy.

Some animals
are like that, yes.

Well, Margie
deserves the best.

She's the whole act.

I wouldn't have gotten
anywhere without her

in show zvbusiness.

I can actually say
it's her money.

[laughing]

Well, must be wonderful
to have an animal

that does something
besides eat.

I wonder if you could
draw me up a few sketches.

Yes, I'll make
some notes here.

Now, I have a few ideas
of my own.

For instance, elephant--
well, let me show you.

Now, elephants
like to hose themselves,

and I think she should have
a little wading pool.

Wading pool.

And then, on one wall,
over here, a large mirror,

so she can watch herself
when she rehearses her dance.

[Wilbur]
Dance?

Yes, Margie does the twist
in her act.

If you'd like to see us,

we're going
to be on television tonight.

Oh, we'll be sure to watch.

And, look, I'll have
the first sketches

for you to look at
in a couple of days.

Well, thank you, Mr. Post.

Oh, uh, we travel
a great deal.

In case you have trouble
finding me,

you can always get in touch
with me through my agent.

Here, Sam Barker.

Now, please, don't try
to cut corners on expenses.

Margie can afford it.

All right, Mr. Hodges,
thank you.

Thank you and goodbye,
Mr. Post.

Goodbye.

Boy, wading pool, mirror.

Me? Nothing.

Nothing but the same old
GI stall.

Ed, if you want
any changes made,

you'll
have to make them yourself.

I'm tired of waiting on you,
hand and hoof.

Uh, I'll bet Mr. Hodges

doesn't talk to his Margie
that way.

She makes a living for him.

May I ask
what do you do for me?

You may.

All right.
What do you do for me?

I talk to you.
Let Margie top that.

I raised that apple tree
from a pup.

Oh, Addison, Wilbur
wouldn't steal our apples.

It must be the horse.

The horse picked
the apples off the tree,

put them in a +wicker basket,
and carried them into the barn?

Like I said, Wilbur Post
is a cotton-picking,

apple-stealing architect.

[knock on door]

May I come in?

Hello, Carol.
Please come in.

We were just talking about
your charming husband,

what a nice fellow he is.

And what a pleasant neighbor.

And he steals apples.

I'm with her.

Oh, Roger, I can't tell you
how embarrassed I am.

For once,
I'm going to be firm.

I am not going to forgive
Wilbur so easily this time.

[knock on door]

Hello, friends,
neighbors, and wife.

How about coming to my place

and watching
a little television?

Kay.

There's a great show on
tonight--

Margie the elephant.
I'm, uh, I'm going to--

Do you plan on doing
anything tonight?

Not particularly.

...and stall for her
trainer.

- What did you have in mind?
- How about a movie?

- I'm not in the mood.
- ...would look in--

Oh, I'd rather stay home.
I had a very upsetting day.

And, Carol, you're my wife.

Well, I'm gonna watch
an elephant on TV.

By myself.

Well, I think I'll go
watch it with him.

Carol!

I'll watch it with you.

Buddy-boy,
you may lose your wife,

but you've always got me.

That's what I'm afraid of.

All right, now, Ed,
please be quiet, huh?

- Ladies and gentlemen,
- All right.

you will now see
with your own eyes

why Margie is known
as the world's most intelligent animal.

He should live so long.

Now, Margie,
tell the ladies and gentlemen

how old you are.

1...2...

- 3...4.
- [applause]

Why, she's 60 if she's a day.

Yeah, well, you make
as much money as she does,

- then you can talk.
- Now, ladies and gentlemen,

Margie would like to show you
that she's a real swinger.

Maestro, some twist music,
if you please.

♪ [rock 'n' roll]

Come, girl. That's a girl!

No wonder she can afford
her own wading pool.

If I couldn't do
a better act than that,

I'd turn in my tail.

Ed, would you?

Would I what?

Go into show business.
You could make a fortune.

Imagine, a talking horse.

Now, you know I wouldn't talk
in front of anyone but you.

Well, then, you wouldn't
even have to talk.

Just obey commands.

Oh.

I'm going to call
Mr. Hodges' agent.

With the money you make,

you'll have
all the apples you want.

Yeah?

Yeah, a bigger barn
than Margie's.

Oh, yeah?

Your own wading pool.

Ho ho ho,
dial faster, Wilbur.

Dial faster.

I've finished dialing.
Shh.

Shh, shh, shh.

Uh, hello. Is this Mr. Barker,
the theatrical agent?

Oh, well, could you tell me

where he'll be
tomorrow morning?

Thank you very much.

Ha ha!

Ed, you are
going to be rich.

Oh, boy, big round apples,
little fillies,

or, uh, am I better off
the other way around?

Sam!

Well, well, well.

Say, Marge sure
looks great. Keep her that way.

I've got a lot of engagements
lined up for her.

Sam, will you stop talking
like an agent?

Even your ten percent
is in good condition.

Hello, Mr. Hodges.

Mr. Post.

Now, don't tell me you've
finished those sketches already.

No, I came to see your agent,
Mr. Barker.

His office told me
he'd be here.

Oh, Sam, this is Mr. Post,
the architect I told you about.

Hi.

Hello, Mr. Barker.

Mr. Barker, I--
I have a wonderful horse.

Mr. Post, I have
all the animals I can handle.

Well, he isn't just an animal.

He's something special.
He has a very high IQ.

Sam, he's a nice man.
Now, give him a break.

All right.

Just what does this animal do,
something special?

Well, he can obey any command
you give him.

Tell him to do something.

Anything?

Anything.

Go over and bring back
that bucket of water.

There was no water
in the pail.

Thanks, Mister Ed.

A remarkable horse!

Isn't he?

Don't tell me he's got
a driver's license.

You left your motor on.

Mr. Post, I've got
to handle this horse.

He's worth a fortune.

Here, you little old
gold mine, you.

[Wilbur]
Once Ed gets on television,

he'll be the greatest
animal act in the world.

Ah, now, don't tell me
you're jealous of that horse.

Now, Marge, listen.

Come on, baby.
Now, don't be temperamental.

I mean it, don't be
temperamental.

No, never mind that.

Now, Marge, I'll give you
some nice peanuts, huh?

Mr. Post, we're going to make
a million dollars.

I'll draw up a contract
right away.

You know, this horse
does everything but talk.

Carol, we just won't
feel right taking your apples.

Oh, please take them, Kay.

It's the only way
I can clear my conscience.

Well, in that case, uh,

I hate to see a woman
with a cluttered conscience.

Wait 'til
you hear the news.

Come on, Rog.
How long can you hold a grudge?

All right, if you don't want
to talk to a millionaire--

Millionaire?

Millionaire?

Honey,
I've got it right here

in black and white--

the passport
to wealth and fame--

a contract bound to bring in
a million dollars

inside of five years,
maybe even less.

Well, how are you going to
make all that money?

I am going into
a new business.

Here, neighbor,
have a few apples.

You know, Wilbur,
I was just telling your wife,

you and I have been partners
in practically everything.

Now, I might
be willing to go in

for as much as,
oh, 50 percent.

Now, uh, how much should
I make the check out for?

I must be hearing things.

I don't know.
What do you think is fair for half of Mister Ed?

Mister Ed?

Ed and I are going
into show business.

[doorbell ringing]

Wilbur, pardon me
for busting in like this,

but we're on our way.

I've got you and the horse
booked on TV

a week from tonight
for $1,000,

and that's only
the beginning.

I'm starting to line things up
all over the country.

We're gonna be rich, man,
rich!

How do you do?
I'm Wilbur's partner.

Ed.

Roger bought
an interest in our act.

I've got his check
right here.

Yeah, get over to the bank
before it bounces.

That's not a nice way
to talk about our neighbor.

I don't trust any man
who wears a tail

in the middle of his face.

That's a mustache.

Please,
you're talking to a star!

[laughing] Oh, you.

Oh, I've been waiting
all week for this.

In five minutes,
Wilbur and Mr. Ed will be on television.

Where's Roger?

Oh, probably
soothing his nerves

in a safe deposit vault.

Champagne!

Nothing too good
for our horse's debut.

I shall turn on the bank--
I mean the television.

Oh, we still have
five minutes.

Don't be so nervous.

Oh, gee, that's right.
If we're this nervous,

I wonder
how my dearest friend feels.

Oh, don't worry
about Wilbur.

I'm talking
about my horse.

Doll.

I'll go get some glasses.

Did you tell the cameraman
exactly what I want?

Don't worry, Ed.

Most of your shots
will be close-ups.

Good, that's good.

And, Wilbur,
work to my right profile.

That's my best side.

I know, Ed.

There. Do you mind?

Help yourself.

Oh, Wilbur, you'll be on
in about five minutes.

You'd better check
your makeup.

Okay. I've got so much
of this pancake on me now,

I feel like a waffle.
[chuckling]

Oh, Ed,
you stay right there.

Oh, Sam, Sam.

Bill, what are you
doing here with Margie?

Oh, ever since that horse
out-performed her,

she's been heartbroken.

She just sulks.
She won't eat.

She won't work.
She won't do anything.

I'm terribly worried
about her.

Well, I'm willing to help.
What can I do?

Well, I thought
if I brought her backstage,

and she heard her music,
it might snap her out of it.

Sam,
she's my bread and butter.

Well, Bill,
I'm willing to try it.

We don't go on
for five minutes.

Hey, Joe,
play Margie's twist music.

♪ [rock 'n' roll]

There, there's your music.

Come on, dance.

You'll get this nice
bag of peanuts, huh?

It's no use, Bill.
The old girl's had it.

I'm afraid you're right.

Well, I'd,
I'd better call my wife.

She's worried.

Have some peanuts, Margie.

You can use the vitamins.

Don't take it so hard, Marge.
That's show biz.

Ah, come on.
Be a real trooper.

After all, you were born
in a trunk, or vice versa.

Please, please don't make me
feel like a heel.

All right,
I'll just stay here

'til you make up your mind
to do it.

I don't know, darling.
Margie won't do a thing.

I don't know.
I've tried everything.

Oh, now, honey, don't cry.

This isn't
the end of the world.

We've been on the bottom
before.

[sobbing]

Well, I'll-- I'll get a job.

That's what I'll do.

Now, honey,
will you stop crying?

That's my girl.
Uh-huh.

All right, dear.
I'll be home soon.

Goodbye, sweetheart.
[blowing kiss]

That poor man.

[sniffing]

Let's go, boy! Showtime!

How do you feel?

Oh, well, I was a little
nervous at first, you know.

How do you feel now?

Fine. I'm relaxed.

- Great, great.
- [applause, music]

That's your cue!
You're on!

You're on, boy! You're on!

Oh, thank you.

You're on.

I hope he won't be nervous.

He's only been on television
once before.

- He'll be marvelous.
- Girls, girls, quiet.

This is it.

Ladies and gentlemen,

tonight,
we're proud to present

the most amazing new animal
act we've ever seen.

And here they are,
Wilbur Post

and his remarkable horse,
Mister Ed.

Thank you.
Thank you very much,

but I'm sure
you will applaud more

when you've seen
Mister Ed perform.

In fact, this horse
is so smart that if I--

[clearing throat]

In fact,
this horse is so smart

that if he were a man,

he'd be a college professor
and I would be out of a job.

Why doesn't he stop
with those tired jokes

and give my horse
a chance to perform?

He's ruining our act!

Mister Ed will take command
directly from you,

ladies and gentlemen.

Anything you want him to do,
just call it out.

Have him take the handkerchief
out of your pocket

and wave it at me.

Ed, you heard that lady
in the front row.

Take the handkerchief
out of my pocket

and wave it at her.

Ed, please,
the handkerchief.

Ed, I-- I'm waiting.

Just take, take, take,
take it.

Take the handkerchief out
and wave it.

Ed.

Take the handkerchief
out of my pocket

and wave it at her.

Wave, wave like this.

Ed, look.

Wave it, Ed!

Wave it.

Like this, wave it!

Wave it, Ed!

Wave it, wave it!

I-- I guess Mister Ed
is allergic to silk.

He's a nylon man.

Uh, can we have
another command, please?

Have him tell us
how old he is.

Ed, tell the lady
how old you are.

Oh, uh, stamp it out.

Ed.

Tell them
how old you are, Ed! Tell them!

Ed, you know
you're 8 years old!

Tell them!

Ed, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5--

6, 7, 8.

[Wilbur]
Ed, what are you doing to me?

You know you're 8!

You can take
the champagne back, doll.

There's nothing
to celebrate now.

Ed, please.

Poor Wilbur.

[Wilbur] I'm sorry,
ladies and gentlemen.

[whispering]
It's a fiasco.

[Wilbur]
He generally does it right away.

I can't understand it.

I cannot understand it.

Why, that horse
hasn't done one trick yet.

[Wilbur]
He's getting it. He's getting--

Please, if you love me,
Ed, please.

1, 2, 3.

Oh, Ed, look,
look what you're doing.

This is your big chance.

Ed, you know
how old you are.

Come on, Ed. Look.

[thumping]

[applause]

Joe, Margie's music!

Ladies and gentlemen,
this is Margie,

the only elephant
that can really twist.

Come on, girl.

♪ [rock 'n' roll]

[laughter, applause]

Look, what was
going on out there?

I couldn't go through
with it.

Why not?

I just had to give
Margie back her confidence

and also save Mr. Hodges'
bread and butter.

Oh, so that's what
this was all about, huh?

Yeah. [laughing]

Ah, look. Isn't she cute
doing the twist?

[laughter, applause]

I'm a bit of a twister
myself.

Come on, Wilbur, join me.

No.

Well, let's waltz then.

Well, that's show biz.

Well, no matter
what they say, Ed,

you'll always be a star to me.

Just wanted to show you
I could do it.

♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪

♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪

♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪

♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪

♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪

♪ He'll give you
the answer ♪

♪ That you'll endorse ♪

♪ He's always
on a steady course ♪

♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪

♪ People yakkity-yak
a streak ♪

♪ And waste
your time of day ♪

♪ But Mister Ed
will never speak ♪

♪ Unless he has
something to say ♪

♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪

♪ And this one will talk
till his voice is hoarse ♪

♪ You never heard
of a talking horse? ♪

♪ Well, listen to this ♪

[Mister Ed]
♪ I am Mister Ed ♪

Closed-Captioned By
J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA

[Man]
This has been a Filmways presentation.