All language subtitles for Party.Girl.1995.FESTIVAL.INTERNAL.WEB.x264-ASSOCiATE ENG

Damn it.

Look over there, 'cause I heard
it drop somewhere.

It's got to be here somewhere,
I just--

I just heard it drop.

It's a little plastic baby boy
in a noose.

It's to be here somewhere.

Vicky, look for it, look.

I cannot make my big entrance
with one earring on.

This is ridiculous.

I've just gotta--

Thank you, Emma!

Yes.

Five Pesos, please.

You in charge?

Who wants to know?

The National fucking Enquirer.

Officer, you don't understand.

This is a benefit for the United
Coalition for the Children...

...of Chinatown Project.

We want to get the kids off the
streets, and into the schools,

and that's legal officer.

I have a prescription for that.

That was prescribed for the pain
of my treatment...

...that I'm going through.

You picked the wrong faggot to
fuck with.

Who, that guy Carlos?

Carl.

It was a one night stand,
Derek, what do you expect?

I've got to find him.

These cops.

Look, didn't you see those cops?

Did you throw up?

I've got to split, love.

You know, immigration.

Nigel?

I'll ring you later.

Can I get my money?

Sorry about this.

Really, sorry.

Yo, this isn't even $50.

You said $130.

Leo, if I had the money,
I would give it to you.

Mary, this is a mess--

T-O apostrophe R--

I know it. It's--

Let me do you a favor.

Sorry about this.

OK, you let me stay here
tonight.

I'm so sorry.

And I'll let you pay me
next week.

Come on, I was kicked out
of my place.

- No, sorry.
- Excuse me.

Ivana.

We really must go.

Ivana.

I like that, that's funny.

Did you hear about the cop who
arrested...

...the governor's daughter?

I'll tell you about it.

Yo, Mary.

One night!

For illegal operations of
social club,

unlawful sales of liquor
without a liquor...

...license, possessions of
controlled substance,

possessions of a pirated
videocassettes,

aiding and abetting minors.

Hi, Judy, sorry to wake you.

Mary.

Mary.

Your Goddaughter Mary.

Prison, but it won't happen
again.

Excuse me, can I get a falafel
with hot sauce,

a side order of baba ghanoush,
and a seltzer, please?

Excuse me, can I have a falafel?

They put toothpicks in falafel.

Can I have a falafel with hot
sauce,

a side order of baba ghanoush,
and a seltzer, please?

Hold the toothpick.

OK.

Do you like this kind of music?

Sure, what kind of music is it?

It's-- it's from the Middle
East.

It's a very sad,
very beautiful song.

Thanks.

And for dessert,
do you know lokum?

No, what's in it?
I'm probably allergic to it.

I guarantee you're not allergic
to Turkish delight.

It's very, very good. Try it.

Are you from Turkey?

Me, no.

I'm-- I'm from Lebanon.

So where's the Lebanese
delight?

You want Lebanese delight?

Sure, bring it out.

Excuse me, could you tell me
where...

...I could find Judy Lindendorf?

And you were looking for?

Hannah Arendt, the historian.

Of course.

Over there you'll find the
300s--

social science.

Hi, Judy.

I brought you falafel.

You know, in all the excitement
last night,

we forgot to arrange for that
loan we had talked about.

Can you believe it?

I think I have a police
brutality case, I really do.

OK, $100.

That should do until my cash
flow situation clears out.

$80.

You're tough.

$60.

It's my final offer.

A loan?

In addition to the bail money?

You know I'm good for it.

Quite the contrary.

Phone calls from the slammer do
not inspire fiscal confidence.

What are you going to do?

About what?

About money.

There's still your rent, the
lawyer for your court date.

That bail cost me.

Where do you work?

I'm freelancing.

Why don't you get a job as a
waitress?

I am not a waitress.

All right, then.

Why don't you try to get a job
at a cleaning shop?

Do you realize how broke I am?

What do you want me to do?
I don't have a job.

I'm a loser.
Shoot me!

Do you have a problem with modern
European political thought in general?

Or is it a particular vendetta
against Hannah Arendt?

- Excuse me?
- Hannah Arendt.

Every single Hannah Arendt book
on the shelf was out of sequence.

I am so sorry.

You must understand we are
reeling from budget cuts.

Right.

What a dick.

He's not a dick, he's a patron.

I lost two dedicated clerks last
month because I couldn't afford...

...to pay them a competitive wage.

They make more money at
McDonald's.

You-- no, a girl like you could
never.

What do you mean,
a girl like me?

Your mother was a woman with no
common sense.

Of course, your father was a man
without a conscience.

You think I couldn't be a
librarian?

Darling, a librarian is a
professional with a master's...

...degree in library science.

Even a clerk, who merely shelves
and stamps.

You think I couldn't be a
library clerk?

Your mother was a woman with
no common sense.

You think I couldn't be a
library clerk?

A library clerk is smart,
responsible--

You don't think I'm smart
enough to work...

...in your fucking library?

I think nothing of the sort.

You're ashamed of me.

Judy, you're my only family, and
you're ashamed of me!

Fine.

You can start right now.

Fine, I will, great.

Wanda.

This is my God daughter Mary.

She's our newest clerk.

I assume you're familiar with
the Dewey Decimal system?

And then I'm standing there
with my hand on the needle,

and I can't do a fucking thing,
because I can't find the beat.

And there's a delay so the beats
don't match up.

And then it just goes off.

Can you believe it?

Everybody stops dancing,
and they're...

...all staring at me, waiting.

It's horrible.

Something's different.

Where did you put the
Gaultier jacket?

Behind the newly expanded diva
velvet glam section right here,

hiding from such scavengers as
yourself.

And my hand's shaking, and
I'm like, paralyzed.

It's the same dream every night.

Maybe-- maybe I'll rent this
place out...

...and start an aerobics center.

Pack this place in,
20 bucks a head.

Mr. Lou's got his rent, I've got
new clothes.

And Leo-- and one and two, and
shoulders...

...back, and down, and up, and up.

I thought you got a job.

Oh God, don't remind me, it's
so cell block H meets 4H club.

It's very that.

Yeah, I can't see you in a
library.

The head librarian was a friend
of my mother's.

She's dead now.

- How did mother passed away?
- DWI.

That's why she only takes public
transportation.

Don't mix those up!

What, they're jeans?

Yeah, they're in order.

Mary, they're jeans.

Yes, Derek, they're jeans, and
they're in order.

Don't mix them up.

I thought maybe--

you know Rene, right?

I thought maybe you
could hook me up.

You know, give her my tape?

I'll see what I can do.

Let's get out of here.

What do you think of this
Princess Leia thing...

...I've got going on?

Something must have
happened to Carl.

I haven't seen him anywhere.

I hope he didn't go back to
Munich.

It was a one night stand.

Oh, I love this song.

You know, at one point, he said,
"I don't understand you."

Isn't that wild?

He saw how complex I am.

Maybe he just didn't.

Didn't what?

Understand you.

He said his English wasn't very
good.

Maybe he just didn't
understand you.

Lushka, muffin!

All right, move aside.

Over now. Over now.

Over now.

Lovely.

Morning, sunshine.

Go back where you came from.

Yo, what the fuck, asshole?

Move it man, I'm with her.

Oh yeah, right.

Lay off me man, come on.

Freeze with the rest of us,
motherfucker.

He's with me.

Nigel, this is Leo.

Leo, Nigel.

Nice to meet you.

- We met at the shower.
- Shower?

- What shower?
- At the party.

Remember the shower?

Man, you were gone.

What are you talking about?

You did it again?

What?

You pissed in my shower again,
Nigel?

- That's it, it's over.
- I don't remember.

Exactly. I don't care.

Nigel, that's it, it's over.

- It's over.
- Why?

Because--

Don't fucking eyeball me.

Because you lower my worth.

Worth?

Nigel, a woman can go out with
a guy who's smart, funny,

intelligent, and by virtue of
the fact that she goes out

with him on the basis of worth.

Fucking cruising for a
bruising, my friend.

Oh, come on.

You, the way you behave, lowers
my worth.

Don't take it personally,
I still care about you.

Fuck.

Oh, get him off.

Hey, somebody get help.

Somebody get help!

Somebody help!

Get him off my pavement.

Right.

With pleasure, lady.

This place is bullshit.

All you fucking suckers should
go somewhere else,

'cause this is fucking Manhattan
fucking bullshit!

Bullshit!

Rene, you look fab.

There's a cover.

Mary!

Mary!

Does this mean we're not
get married?

He-he-hello!

He-he-hello!

When you give her the tape,
just be very straightforward,

and don't talk about money.

What's up buttercup?

The rent, and I'm not paying.

Why don't you tell her you were
spinning at a club in London...

...in the fall.

What club?

I don't know,
make something up.

Why did I leave?

Leo, improvise.

You got sick of the London
street...

...fashion, all those hats, and--

your tape is good.

Your tape is good, but with
Rene, it's really going...

...to come down to a certain vibe.

Yeah, what kind of vibe.

Either she likes you or she
doesn't.

Just don't be wimpy when you
talk to her.

Sometimes you can be really--

Really what?

Natasha!

What were you going to say?

- When?
- Before.

- I don't remember.
- Yes, you do.

I don't remember.

You said not to be wimpy,
and then you started to say,

sometimes you can be,
and then you stopped.

- Forget it.
- No, come on, tell me.

Oh Leo, just--

sometimes you can be
kind of goofy.

OK, stop.

This is making me uptight now.

It's going to be fine.

Just-- just be yourself.

Yeah right, now I'm going to be
like, hi Rene.

You're pretty, I like you, give
me a job.

There she is.

Oh fuck, did she see me?

I don't know.

Shit.

These inter-library loans are
going to be the death of me.

You should hear my professor on
the subject.

Oh, I can imagine.

I wish I were in school now,
the new technology,

it's so exciting.

Last time I checked,
016.301677...

...came before
016.301682.

Mary's a bit dyslexic.

I am not.

I'm just not feeling--

Mary had difficulty with the
alphabet.

Oh really?

I was six.

She'd see her letters
backwards.

All your E's look like threes?

She overcame it.

You must have felt really
inadequate.

She did.

And of course,
she was small for her age.

Sabah al-khair.

Sabah al-khair.

It's me, Mary.

Mustafa.

This is no good.

What are you talking about?

It's my new Bible.

Your new Bible?

Do you know what this means?

Can I have some corn plasters?

This is no good.

Look, if it's important for you,
necessary,

then the words get power.

And like, magic you learn it.

In Lebanon, I was a teacher.

But here, I'm just a vendor.

Why don't you teach here?

My English isn't good enough.

Mustafa, your English is better
than most of my friends.

My English is--

miss, would you like your um--

miss, you forgot your umbrella.

Would you like some hot sauce
with your baba ghanoush?

This is my English, and my
situation is complicated.

I have my family.

You're married.

No, no, no, no--

brothers, sisters, mother, this
kind of family.

You know, when I have the money,
I'll bring them to the US.

But sometimes I think it's going
to be harder for them here

than in Lebanon, you know?

My life here is like Sisyphus.

Who?

Sisyphus.

It's a Greek story.

Sisyphus pushes a big rock up
the mountain,

and when he gets to the top,
the rock...

...always falls back down again.

And this is for eternity.

It's depressing.

Teach me some Arabic.

OK, um-- yd.

Yd.

What did we just say?

You just agreed to have dinner
with me on Friday.

What's his name doesn't show by
two, I'm going home.

We need to figure out very
scientifically, where...

...Carl is most likely to be.

So far there's tomorrow
night's thing...

...at Arroz con Pollo,
Wednesday's pubic justice,

the theme is Stevie Nicks.

Adolfo, Adolfo, Adolfo.

There's got to be a Pucci in
here somewhere.

Carl and I connected that
night.

From the essence.

From the ancient center
of our beings.

The two of you were on ecstasy,

it dries out your spinal fluid.

What are you doing?

Watch the door.

Derrick, do you think I make a
good designer?

Yeah, come on.

Derrick, do you think I'd make
a good writer?

Yeah, would you hurry up?

Derrick, do you think I'd make
a good actress?

Sure.

Now would you come on?

Hey, I have a reputation.

I can't get caught shoplifting.

We're not shoplifting.

Is this a shop? No.

Do you see any customers?

No.

Derrick, do you think I'd make a
good investment banker?

Hello, Chanel.

"Origins in peecees"?

Pardon?

"Origins in peecees"?

Oranges and peaches?

Um, why don't you look over
there,

under periodicals, under food.

I know we have connisou, I'm not
sure about oranges and peaches.

But maybe it's on microfiche,
which is down the hall...

...and to the left.

"Origin of Species."

Howard, would you get the Darwin
book, please?

Dear, patrons often mistake
clerks for librarians.

It's best just to say
I don't know,

and refer them to Howard or me.

There's nothing wrong in saying
I don't know.

Howard and Anne and I thought
you might like...

...to go out to dinner with us.

I'm going out.

I don't want to limit our
relationship to work.

I'm going out.

Of course.

You have such a busy
social life.

Where are you going?

I don't know.

Well.

When you're finished
with those.

Have you seen
"Work That Pussy"?

Um, no.

When my bakery takes off, I'm
going to take everyone...

...I've ever met out to dinner.

Cocktails, nice view of the
city.

The old Betty Crocker, you
ain't.

I can't cook!

I can't do anything!

I'm going to die in a subway
somewhere with nothing!

It's not that bad, just scrape
it.

Leo, I'm going to be 24 soon.

I haven't done anything
with my life.

What about finding another
space for a party?

Yo, I spun at this phat
outlaw party...

...last year in this building that
used to be...

...a supermarket on Avenue D.

It was Vicky's wedding
reception.

Her dad owned that building.

God, that seems like yesterday.

You know, life goes by so fast,
what's the point?

What do you mean?

What does our life mean?

What life?

If there is no God.

Do you know the story of
Sisyphus?

- Who?
- Sisyphus.

It's a myth about
this guy who had...

...to roll and push this incredibly
huge rock...

...up this very steep mountain.

Every time he'd get to the top
of the mountain,

the rock would roll down again.

And he would watch this,
and he would...

...walk back down the mountain,
and he'd...

...do it all over again, forever.

Drag.

It's a metaphor for life, Leo.

It's famous.

Is this some kind of drug
rehab?

It's not rehab.

Where is it?

"One must imagine
Sisyphus happy."

Bullshit!

He's miserable.

But he doesn't have to be.

He accepts his fate, he--

You're telling me that if your
name was Syphilis,

and you spent your life lugging
a fucking rock up a hill,

you wouldn't be miserable?

I think I'm an existentialist.

I do.

Hey Nigel.

Yo, I'm looking for Rene.

Bet you two go at it like
bunnies.

Me and Rene?

You and Mary, all shacked up
and cozy, eh?

No, I'm just here till
I find a place.

Look, where's Rene?

Hi Rene.

I'm Leo.

We met the other night, you said
I could stop by.

I'm a friend of Mary's.

Who?

Mary.

Remember, she introduced us.

Oh, I'm a DJ.

You said I could stop by, and
maybe

talk to you about the
possibility of spinning here?

Oh.

I heard your tape.

Where's my mocktail?

Where have you worked?

Me?

Well, I've been working in
London.

Where?

London.

Yes.

Where in London did you spin?

I was working at this club, it
was called, um, Fish and Chips.

Never heard of it, where is it?

No?

It's-- it's near this big black
tower.

Imitate a cat puking.

It's the name of a band.

How's your upper torso?

No complaints.

Your tape doesn't suck.

I need a sub for tonight.

I've been striking out
left and right.

9 o'clock, no pay.
It's a tryout.

Hey.

One thing.

Don't-- I repeat, do not--

play anything written or
produced by Teddy Rogers.

His music is not played
in my club.

Fish and Chips?

- She's hot for me.
- You think she's hot for you?

She probably is.
She likes young boys.

She really does.

May I see you at the desk,
please?

Oh, I'm sorry.

This is Leo.

This is Mrs. Lindendorf.

Leo just got this incredible gig.

Congratulations.

- Busted.
- Yeah.

Hey, you want to come
riding with me.

Um, no.

I'll see you later, I've got a
date tonight.

I know it is not your life's
work.

But for your information,
Freud's study of Dora...

...is not a biography.

It is the cornerstone of his
psychoanalysis--

that's psychology, dear.

The psychology section is, for
your information, in the 100s--

along with philosophy, and
logic.

It amazes me how you can come
here every day,

and absorb no knowledge
of the system.

A trained monkey learned
this system...

...on PBS in a matter of hours.

Re-code it.

A trained monkey learned
this system...

...on PBS in a matter of hours.

A trained monkey learned
this system...

...on PBS in a matter of hours.

A trained monkey learned
this system...

...on PBS in a matter of hours.

Re-code it.

I may have made a mistake.

But that is no reason to
patronize me.

It is dismaying that your
expectations...

...are based on the performance of
a lesser primate,

and also revelatory of a
managerial style...

...which is sadly lacking.

Is it any wonder, then, that
I've

chosen not to learn the
intricacies...

...of an antiquated and
idiotic system?

I think not.

Re-code it.

Fuck you.

Re-code it.

If you had really loved my
mother,

you wouldn't treat me like this.

It's open!

Hey, we're going to be late.

Look, Derrick called.

He said he wants to meet us at--

What do you want?

I wish to see the young lady.

Who?

Perhaps is not the correct
address?

No, that's right.

The young lady's not here.

Pardon?

She's not here.

What do you got there?

It's--

Omar Al-Inguri?

Bet it drives the crowds wild.

I have seen him two times in
concert.

He's very good.

But it's very hard to get the
tickets.

I'm not lying, y'all.

He's the best I know.

And if I lie, my nose will grow.

Like a little wooden boy
named Pinocchio.

And you all know how
the story goes.

You have too many records.

Yeah, well, if you spin.

Spin?

I'm a DJ at Rene's.

You ever been to Rene's?

The hottest club.

It's the hottest.

How did you find this work?

How did I find it?

Yo, I'm good.

You know, Rene liked my tape.

And in a sense of,
do like this work?

Do you-- do you expect her?

Yeah, she'll be there.

Stop by tonight, man.

Bring your friends.

Not you, mate, step aside.

It's Maid Marian,
how you doing, love?

Hey Nigel.

Classification provides a
system...

...for organizing a universe of
items,

be they objects, concepts,
or records.

Where's the spot?

What spot?

For the dancing, the girl.

Didn't Nigel tell you?

Yo man, what's up?

Daddy?

DJ.

What's up?

What's going on?

Come on, daddy!

What the hell are you doing?

Mr. DJ!

Hey man.

What is this?

Do you have a problem?

'Cause they sure as hell don't.

Lucky for you.

Arts and recreation.

Yes, mama.

I know what's going on,
yes, I do.

What's your name?

Venus.

Venus what?

Just Venus.

Excuse me, what are you doing?

Yeah, you.

Were you just putting
that book away?

It looked like you were just
putting that book away.

I guess you didn't know we have
a system...

...for putting books away here.

No, I'm curious.

You were just randomly putting
that book on the shelf,

is that it?

You've just given us
a great idea.

I mean, why are we wasting
our time...

...with the Dewey Decimal
System, when...

...your system is so much easier.

Much easier.

We'll just put the books
anywhere.

Hear that everybody?

Our friend here has given us
a great idea!

We'll just put the books any
damn place we choose!

We don't care, right?

Isn't that right?

You haven't taken a break
all morning.

Take a break.

I just want to do a good job,
Howard.

You are doing a good job.
Take a break.

I'll cover.

Take a break.

Judy, you won't believe what I
did last night.

It was possibly the wildest
night of my existence.

What's the matter.

Are you OK?

Yes, I think it'll pass.

Oh my God, you're drenched.

You need to see a doctor or
something.

Of course not.

Look at you, you need a doctor.

I'm going to call an ambulance
or something.

Don't be silly.

No, you need a--

you need a doctor.

It is perfectly natural at
my age.

Yes.

I'm so embarrassed.

Well, I'm not.

My body's upgrading itself for
the future, that's all.

I just wish it would hurry up
and have done with it.

It's been two years!

Is that normal?

The tears don't mean anything.

They're just my little hormones
running amok.

You're early.

Tell me about your night.

You won't believe what I did
last night.

It was possibly the wild--

Oh, let me guess.

You went to your boyfriend's
concert,

and you danced until dawn.

And then you all drank too much
and laughed,

and then somebody did something
outlandish,

and the police came.

But you all didn't care, because
you were all young and in love.

And it was a night to remember.

You know how I know?

You are just like your mother.

You won't believe what I did
last night.

It was possibly the wildest
night of my existence.

It was--

What are you doing?

Mustafa!

Look, I think maybe you
misunderstand.

You know, you meet the vendor
who speaks funny English.

For you, it's like taking a
holiday travel without buying...

...the airplane ticket.

I cannot agree with this.

So can you go?

Can I have a falafel with hot
sauce, a side order of baba...

...ghanoush and a seltzer, please?

The new single?

Sure, I'll play it, Venus.

You know, I was always into
animals.

I mean, um, animal rights and
whatnot.

All the proceeds go to the
organization.

Isn't it awful about
the rabbits?

Yeah.

What?

They go blind!

They stick mascara and deodorant
into the rabbits' eyes...

...until they go blind.

How can we be blind to their
innocent silent screams?

You learned your lesson is all.

Mustafa.

What sort of a name is that?

And what are you doing going out
with foreigners anyway?

You're a foreigner.

I'm not.

I'm English.

This is America.

Yeah, but we speak English.

All Americans were English to
start.

We're like, related.

It's like the pilgrims and all
that.

Please, elaborate.

That little shit,
I'll rip his balls off.

Leo!

Get out of my way!

You little shit.

What? Yo, get off me.

I told you no Teddy Rogers.

No fucking Teddy Rogers!

Get it the fuck off now!

It's still in print.

I was all, honey, please, it was
even published in Cuba, OK?

It's a conspiracy all right.

Were you able to find anything?

Here's a few books
to get you started.

There's tons of studies on
twins,

but these focus solely
on the made...

...up languages,
identical vs. Fraternal,

male versus female, et cetera.

Now, I threw in "The Dual Voice
Sings" just for fun.

It's a book of songs composed
exclusively by twins.

Fraternal?

Identical.

Oh, I can't wait.

So glad I could help you.

Bye.

Judy says I should take over.

Why?

What does she want Mary to do?

Guess.

This is ridiculous.

Why did you take me off the
desk?

It's so busy, and you're such a
speedy little shelver.

God, don't patronize me, Judy.

Yeah, I know I'm the fastest
shelver here.

But that doesn't mean it's the
only thing I can do.

And don't give me that
"you're only a clerk" rap,

because Wanda's only a clerk.

You've got to do the Scientific
American overhaul.

And you invited her to the
acquisitions conference.

She's always at the desk.

She's always coding.

I haven't coded one single book
since--

Since we had that problem.

It was my first week, Judy!

Maybe I do treat you
differently.

OK.

But that's because I'm
concerned.

- We're family.
- So?

So what? So you knew
my mother, big deal.

So did I.

She was a woman with
no common sense.

Judy, it's no reason to judge
me all the time.

Everybody here sees it.
Ask Howard.

- I-- - Ask Anne.

- Judge---
- Ask Wanda!

- You?
- Yes, you do.

Spare me.

You do.

I have eyes.

- I know what you think of me.
- No, you don't.

Oh yes, I do.

You do not, Judy.

You try to intimidate me.

Me?

I try to intimidate you?

You're the one who's
intimidating, Judy.

I try to do--

I try to do a good job here.

You don't even see it.

You don't even care!

Of course I care.

But the fact of the matter is, I
have known you

since the day you were born.

And you come here every day,
and I don't...

...know the first thing about you.

What do you want to know?

Anything.

Your life, your friends.

My friends are people.

They're normal people, just like
your friends, Judy.

Leo's friend, right?

Mary, right?

I never thought, but you
probably didn't expect...

...to see me, either, right?

Right?

Right.

That is why you're here?

I'm here in the library.

I usually go to the Eight.

I go earlier.

You should check out the Eight.

Beautiful people.

I bet.

I connect with that meaning,
you know?

There are a lot of people at the
Eight who's issues--

but today, I couldn't make it,
you know?

I couldn't wait till I--

I was so close to a--

I even went by the club.

It's going to be fine.

Really.

You can do it.

I know you can.

Let's go in.

Running into you like this is
like my higher power...

...is watching.

Hi, everyone.

I'm Rene.

And I'm a goddamn alcoholic.

Hi, Rene.

Hi, I'm Mary.

I'm sorry, I need a drink.

Can I have a falafel with hot
sauce,

a side order of baba ghanoush,
and a seltzer, please?

Keep the change.

Can I have a falafel with hot
sauce,

a side order of baba ghanoush,
and a seltzer, please?

Can I get a falafel with hot
sauce, a side of baba ghanoush,

and a seltzer, please?

I'd like a falafel with hot
sauce,

a side order of baba ghanoush,
and a seltzer, please.

I'd like my free pita.

You want pita?
Go over there.

- This is false advertising.
- This is harassment.

This is a free country.

I ask you to go.

I know where I'm not welcome.

I know how you feel, buddy.

Think I don't get this down
on the job?

It's violating.

Hot days, you got to strip down.

Hey.

Good evening, Leo.

Where's my crate?

What the fuck?

Yo, why is this all--

Oh my God.

What happened?

Yo, what happened here?

Surprise.

What?

Surprise.

You fucked with my albums?

I organized them.

I mean, there was a stack right
here.

It took me a week to pull them.

But they're organized by...

the Dewey Decimal System, which is perfect
for small collections like yours...

...unlike the Library of Congress.

Small collections?

Yo, there are over
1,000 albums here.

I know.

It took me all day to do it, Leo.

They were a mess.

What are you, my mother?

They were in order!

Jesus, look, I got to be at
Rene's in 20 minutes,

and you totally fucked my
albums!

I worked on this all day.

It'll help you.

You bitch!

You fucking bitch!

You have ruined my life, you
know that?

You've ruined my fucking life.

Give the system a chance.

I made three card catalogs,
title, subject, and artist.

OK?

You have your categories of
music--

tribal, sleaze, disco.

Those are further subdivided.

Here's the list.

Quisco disco, Frisco disco.

Now, each album is coded with a
yellow sticker.

The red sticker means that
Teddy Rogers...

...worked on it-- that's a no no.

We know that.

Here's your number two pencil.

Use this for scrap paper.

It's over.

Everything.

Write down the title and the
author,

artist that you want to find.

Use all caps.

It's not neat.

What the fuck am I doing?

OK, Leonard.

Fine, what do you need?

"Mighty Real" from Sylvester.

OK, here we go.

It's going to be cross listed
under disco classics,

and divas, male.

What else do you need?

"The Lover Who Rock You" by
India.

"Double Cross" by First Choice.

"I Believe in Miracles" by Hot
Chocolate.

"Hot Music" by Pal Joy. "X" by
Junior Vasquez.

"Up Down Suite" by Madonna, "My
Jimmy Weighs

a Ton" by The Jungle Brothers.
"Erik B is President" By Erik B.

"Nervous Track" by Nuyorican
Soul.

"Sex Drive" by Grace Jones.

"Is It All Over My Face?" by
Loose Joints.

"Saturday Night," "Sweet Pussy
Pauline," Candy J. "Activator"

by Whatever Girl.

"Genius of Love," Tom Tom Club.

"You Used to Hold Me," Ralphi
Rosario.

"Flip the Script," Gang Starr.
"I Can't Get No Sleep."

Good morning, Leo.

How'd it go?

Coffee's going to be ready in a
sec.

Leo, if you want to take a
shower, wait,

'cause I've got to get to work.

Leo, I've got to take a shower!

Leo, I've got to get to work
early today!

It's my goddamn apartment, this
is my god damn shower, Leo!

I'm getting in!

This is my god dam water, Leo.

Leo, this isn't funny.

That's my shampoo.

You have the cheap,
99 cent kind,

I have the expensive kind.

This is mine, that's not funny.

Insect.

- Have a good night, Howard.
- Oh, I will.

Can I help you?

Yes, I'm looking for
information on teaching.

The clerk under that counter
can help you.

Remember to turn off all the
computers...

...and close all the windows.

Good night.

Excuse me.

Uh, sir?

Excuse me, miss?

I didn't know you worked here.

I work here.

I'm looking for information
on--

Teaching?

Follow me.

You didn't tell me that you
were a librarian.

I'm only a clerk.

OK.

First place to look would be
here.

It's updated yearly.

For New York City?

It should be.

I can also check the most recent
amendments too--

And where can I get a
certificate?

Certification requirements for
teachers...

...are determined under
each state level.

The United States, every state
has different laws.

America.

Don't knock it, baby, it's the
land of milk and honey.

It's Yemen.

What's Yemen?

The land milk and honey is
Yemen.

God.

You left the windows open.

We trusted you to lock up, and
you left the windows open.

I am so sorry.

How many were ruined?

At least 30.

I found five that are
out of print.

Who?

Some of our best poets.

Cummings, Hughes, Dickinson.

I am so sorry.

I--

Look in there.

I'm happy to see you're
practicing safe sex.

Judy, Mustafa surprised me
last night.

When I look at you, a smart
powerful woman,

and see you acting like the town
idiot, it makes me sick.

When most women are struggling
to demonstrate...

...their intelligence,
their complexity,

here you are trying to prove
just how stupid you can be.

Judy, please!

Look, here is a card from an
early card catalog.

See that handwriting?

Look at the flowery script.

That's what young lady
librarians were taught,

penmanship.

I am sorry.

Melvil Dewey hired women as
librarians...

...because he believed
the job didn't...

...require any intelligence.

It was a woman's job!

That's not my fault!

That means it's underpaid and
undervalued.

This country has more illiteracy
than some of the most...

...underdeveloped nations!

Even Americans who can read,
don't.

They watch movies, they watch
television,

they watch movies on the
television.

I said that I was sorry--

Get out!

I won't have you working here!

Mary!

This is a depression!

Eviction.

Oh shit.

Oh God.

All right.

From this lot, I'll give you $30
for the Todd Oldham blouse,

and $40 for the Kenzo dress, and
$50 for that jacket.

$50?

Yeah.

It's Gaultier.

It's a collector's item.

Honey, it's got two buttons
missing.

All right, $55.

But I won't take this.

That's vintage,
it's not designer.

I shouldn't sell it anyway.

It belonged to my mother.

She's dead.

Let's see what's in the other
bag.

Cash?

It's legal tender.

Look, I don't want any drugs in
my building.

Mr. Lu, if I dealt drugs, the
rent wouldn't be late.

I haven't seen you since your
operation.

Is everything OK?

Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.

Look, maybe try to talk to her,

tell her how important it is for
you.

I can't.

Look, she's your family.

She'll understand.

She was right to fire me.

She was right.

Keith Richards would make a
better librarian than me.

Maybe you can get a job waiting
tables?

I'm not a waitress. No.

If it's just temporary.

No, no.

Look what I do?

But that's different.

That's different.

You're a teacher.

You're a teacher,
you have a career.

This is my life.

I want to do something.

And what do you want to do?

God, it's not that easy.

OK.

Then let's think of things you
like to do.

Things that you're good at,
then.

I'm not good at anything.

This is not true.

Judy's right, I'm just like my
mother.

I'm just like my mother.

You want to know
what we're good at?

There's um-- maintaining when
we're fucked up,

applying makeup, partying,
flirting, making stuff up,

throwing parties, having fun.

I don't--

I don't see you like this.

Because you don't really
know me.

This would be a great place
for a party.

- You've outdone yourself. - So
silly.

So decadent.

- So Mary.
- So Mary.

I live to serve, don't I?

Derrick, the time?

1:20.

Oh my God, it's your birthday
already.

Happy birthday.

Yo Poppy, what's up?

Yo, what's up with this guy?

All he plays is house?

I'll take care of it.

Let me get a beer.

What's with you Leo?

All you got is house?

Mary, Mary, quite contrary.

Nigel, get back to the door,
and get this through that...

...inbred beer-soaked brain
of yours--

tonight is a civilized event.

That means no piss, no vomit.

Could you move it?

Your cigarette is bothering me.

Get a last name,
and we'll talk, OK?

I want variety.

Now, Leo.

Now.

Help me, please.

Give me a mocktail.

That's OJ, cranberry juice,
no ice, lime twist.

I'm all out of cranberry.

How about we make that
pineapple.

Jesus.

Sorry, Rene.

Derrick, send someone for some
cranberry, please?

Who?

You're a bright guy, I'm sure
you can figure something out.

Did you pay for that?

You've got to pay for your
drinks.

You have, it's how it works.

Congratulations, you're going
to be a major promoter.

Let me tell you, there are two
kinds of people in this world,

herbivores and carnivores.

Here's to red meat, Rene.

Cheers.

Mustafa, why aren't you at your
post?

Look, it's late.

Nobody wants falafel.

That's not the point.

The point is is that it's funny
you're making them.

It's funny.

It's funny.

That hurts, you're hurting me!

What's your problem?

You. You are my big problem.

You treat everyone like dogs,
you drink so much all night,

you move around the room
talking, talking.

I'm having a good time.

Haven't you ever seen anyone
have fun before?

And that means you don't
respect the people who...

...help you, who do you a favor?

Lighten up, it's a party, god
damn it.

All right, I'll try to be more--

Why do you always have to try?

Why you can never be?

I would like a nice, powerful
mind-altering substance.

Preferably something that would
make my unborn children grow gills.

That damn belly dancer still
hasn't shown.

Mary.

Why do I always have to do
everything.

You can't trust anyone, you
can't depend on anybody.

You can't do anything.

I'm always the one who has to do
everything, Derrick.

I'm always having to do
everything here.

It's OK, calm down.

No, it's not OK.

It's printed, it's on the
invitations.

The belly dancer is supposed to
appear tonight.

It's not a problem.

Listen to me.

Don't give me your faggot shit,
Derrick.

It's not a problem.

Don't be a faggot.

Don't fag out.

Come on, Mary.

What's up, love?

Look at you.

You're a fucking wreck.

Come on, let's go.

Up.

Why haven't they deported you?

I told them I was marrying you.

Mrs. Nigel Hogsworth Pittle.

To have and to cherish.

To love and to honor.

Wouldn't want to lower your
worth, Mary.

Come on, Mary.

Give us a kiss, eh?

Come on.

Come on.

Let's go inside, all right?

Let's go inside.

Come on, come on, come on.

No.

Give us a kiss.

I'm tired.

I just want to--

I just want to sleep.

Come on.

I just want to sleep.

Come on, Mary.

I just want to sleep, Nigel.

Fuck off.

Look, Mary, just open the door,
all right?

Open the fucking door!

You fucking better open the
fucking door, Mary!

Open the fucking door!

Sorry, I'm just trying to
sleep.

Happy birthday, Mary.

You look terrible.

I need to talk to you.

I'm working.

Oh, and I've got you on the
waiting list...

...for the new Danielle Steel.

It's about my future.

Follow me.

I'm going to show you the
almanacs, and that--

I'm working.

My place.

8:00.

Be there.

Fine.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Mary, what are you doing here?

You're going to help me, bitch.

OK, let's see.

We still have to hang that
pi�ata,

and make the hash brownies.

I'm here with some balloons.

Carl.

That's him?

That's Carl?

My name is Kurt, not Carl.

Kurt.

It's him.

It's Carl.

I mean, Kurt.

I mean, Carl is Kurt.

What is this?

A pi�ata.

It's a pi�ata.

You know, a pi�ata.

What is a pi�ata?

A pi�ata is a Latin American
ritual performed on birthdays...

- ...and also Christmas.
- Hello.

Be careful of pi�ata.

You don't need some high status
degree.

You want the best program for
the least money...

...in the shortest amount of time.

Absolutely.

Oh please!

You went to Columbia.

You think you'd be working here
if you went to some dinky...

...small town program?

I say Michigan.

I did my undergraduate there.

Ann Arbor is so much fun.

I don't want to leave New York.

Well don't. You're going
public, right?

Public libraries.

As in non-academic.

Howard doesn't approve of
academia.

He thinks it's for wimps.

It is.

I am sick of your reverse snobbery.

Just because a person might want
to live...

...in a pleasant, non-urban
setting, doesn't mean they're...

...selling out.

Anna worked in Ithaca,
at Cornell.

How do you feel about the
Senate?

I don't know.

There's a Washington-based
program that my friend runs.

I think it would be perfect for
you, Mary.

It's a little competitive but
she's an excellent connect--

Yeah, this is the place.

We want beer.

Do you have any
Middle Eastern beer?

I don't serve beer.

Do you want some hot sauce?

Can I get a falafel with
hot sauce,

a side order of baba ghanoush,
and a seltzer?

Surprise!

You're working a new look.

Derrick, may I have a word with
you, please?

You see the pi�ata, for your
birthday?

Mary, this is my friend Kurt.

Got any rolling papers?

Judy's coming over here in 15
minutes.

We've got to get these people
out of here.

She's having a slip.

Mary, Mary!

Leo and I have thrown you the
party of a lifetime.

We will not allow you
to spoil it.

Give me that bread knife!

No, Mary you do not have
permission to hurt yourself.

Hi.

I'm going to have to ask you to
leave.

What are you taking, huh?

Same stuff you were binging on
the other night?

Been on a bender?

Get out!

Leo, I need your help.

Sister, no one can help you
until you...

...decide to help yourself.

Enabler.

Mare, I expect you on that
dance floor in five minutes.

And please change into something
more festive.

Where do you want the body
painting?

She can't change, she sold all
her clothes.

No body painting.

What?

I had no idea she was this far
gone.

Leave!

Get out!

I noticed the rack was empty,
but--

Leave!

I thought she finally put them
away.

Get out!

She's hit rock bottom.

Mary, those clothes look
priceless.

They were irreplaceable!

What were you thinking?

I had to pay my rent!

You sold all of it!

- Yes, yes, I sold it all!
- Why?

Because she's an an alcoholic!

I'm not an alcoholic!

Mary?

Judy.

There's been a mix up.

Derrick and Leo threw me the
surprise...

...party without my permission.

Are you her sponsor?

Can we do the pi�ata?

No, I'm a relative.

Not now, Carl!

My name is Kurt, not Carl!

Perfect.

Do you know what a crisis
intervention is?

I want my job back.

This is not an appropriate
time.

You haven't heard my plan.

This is called tough love,
Mary.

Police, open up!

Police!

It's open!

I want my job back.

I want a career in library
science.

Which one of you is Mary.

I am, but this isn't my party.

Yeah?

Then how come I've been getting
all those complaints about you?

You've been bad.

Very, very bad.

What are you talking about?

I'm taking you downtown.

We are downtown!

Officer, you haven't even read
her her rights!

A love slave has no rights.

Take it off!

Take it off!

I'm serious about graduate
school!

Yeah!

Shake it.

Lock him up, girl.

Keep it up.

Lock him up.

Mary!

I want to be a librarian.

Stop with the lies and
manipulations.

Why won't you trust me?

Your mother was a woman with
no common sense.

This isn't about her.

This is about me.

You showed no respect for me or
for the library.

That's not true.

She was very into that library.

She lent me a book from there on
body piercing.

That's nothing.

Look, she set up my whole
collection...

...by the John Dewey system.

Melvil!

Yeah, I re-did it so it was by
beats per minute.

You know, with the other stuff?

Cross-listed

Yes, cross-listed.

Look, there are over 2000 albums
here.

So will you give her her job
back?

No I won't.

Why not?

Because she had sex in the
library.

Sex addiction.

Mary.

Hey, where in the library did
you have sex?

The romance language section.

Mustafa.

I'm so sorry.

Mary did research for me at the
library.

What kind of research?

To become a certified teacher
in this country.

Loans, grants, scholarships,
everything.

Let me do it!

Where did you look?

First, I covered the basics--

the UN, Board of Ed, the Encyclopedia
of Associations, CUNY.

Then I-- then I checked
certification requirements

for teachers of secondary and
elementary schools,

58th edition.

I Telnetted the NicerNet Gopher
and FTPed the most...

...recent amendments for New York
state teacher...

...certification requirements.

And then I called the reference
desk at the main branch,

and they said I'd covered my bases.

She's good.

Very thorough.

I would never get all this for
myself.

Come on, Judy.

Judy, give her a break.

Is this what you really want?

Really?

Yes.

I'll do it.

Happy birthday, Mary.

Thank you.

Come on home.

Mrs. Lindendorf!

Have a brownie!

He's such a fox.

I wouldn't kick him out of bed
either.

Unless he was better on the
reference room floor.

The pi�ata is finished.

But the party is just
beginning.

I love parties.

Librarian, huh?

Yeah, what do you think?

This is a garden,
and we're all flowers.

Can somebody call a locksmith?