All language subtitles for Huff s01e02 Assault and Pepper.eng

He assaulted me first.

He couldn't have.

You weren't there!
I was defending myself!

From what?

There was a Plexiglas window
between the two of you.

You don't have to touch
someone to assault them!

So you threw a chair at him?

I wanted my medication!

You didn't have a prescription.

It was a refill.

I don't prescribe you refills,
and you know that.

I go there all the time.

He whispers to
the other pharmacists.

They all look at me
like I'm crazy--

you know, like--like
the "twilight zone"

where all the doctors
look like pigs.

I'm not crazy!

Bullshit.

How'd she smash out the window?

I thought they were bulletproof.

- Bulletproof,
- Yes.

Manic bipolar borderline proof, no.

Then tell it to those pigs!

They wanted to put me
in a straitjacket.

Ok. Calm down.
Just relax, ok?

All I wanted was some paxil.

You don't take paxil.
You take celexa.

We evaluated the neurochemistry
of my aggression.

I don't have temporal lobe epilepsy.

If--if--if I was having
a neurotic episode--

which I was not--

it should have presented
with an explosive disorder.

I'm telling you,
it's not working!

Ok, you have to
stay off the internet.

Besides, I saw it
advertised on TV.

I like the way the girl
looked who took it.

I bet no one looks at her
and thinks she's out of her mind.

Well, she probably never
took out a pharmacist

with a computer terminal, either.

What the hell did you hope to
accomplish with that?

It got you here,
didn't it?

Yes, it did...

but I'm not sure that's
such a good thing.

Nice ride.

Gonna stay that way?

Hey.

Back at you...
sweet butt.

A liter of grey goose,
two-pack of Marlboro reds...

box.

How much?

Hmm. Now why you think
I gotta be looking for cash?

Because you have big, luscious boobies,
and I'm a fatty.

Come on. How much?

You're a funny one.

How old are you?

18.

Ho ho ho!

I got id.

Not gonna be carding you,
sweetie.

You are a girl, aren't you--

on the outside?

On the inside, too.

Say it. You don't care about me.

Now, why would I work with you for--
what is it-- 8 years now?

Why would I do that if I
didn't care about you?

Because I have good insurance.

Ok, look. I've always
wanted to help you.

I've always thought that
I really could help you,

but we have to make
some new rules here.

I like the rules.

Yeah, sure you do.

You're always changing them.

But the party's over, ok?

New rules.

1: No calling me
at home anymore, ok?

2: No orchestrating assault and battery

or any other scenario to get me to do
what you want me to do.

And rule 3: If you break rule 1 or 2,
I will consider myself fired by you.

You understand?

You can't do that.
That's unethical.

Yes, I can, and no, it isn't.

You know, I can always
sue you for malpractice.

You know, and I can always
have you committed.

Your serve.

Ow!
Fuck!

Jesus. Nice ring,
you little bipolar whack.

Hey!

Which one's the psychiatrist again?

Melody! Melody!

I'm not crazy!

Melody!

I'm not crazy!

You know, we're right in front
of a police station.

That's why I feel safe.

Do I know you?

Not as well as I'd like you to.

I have a gun.

I don't.

Hey.

Hey, is it-- it's you.

Yeah. Some lot of coincidence, no?

What the hell are you doing here?

And where were you last week?

I waited for you for, like, half A...

Are you following me?

I was there--in jail.

No. No. I...

I slept on the street
by our meeting place

because I didn't want
to miss you,

and I got arrested for, uh...

I'm not sure. I never
heard the word before.

Well, I'm glad
you're out of jail,

but if you'll excuse me,
it's pretty late.

Yeah. I still need just a little,
small bit of your help.

- Oh, take a hike.
- No, no, no, please.

One more time, mister, please.

I said, take a hike.

No, no, no. Please.

No. Thank you.

I waited.
You weren't there.

End of story.

You don't want to do it
like this, believe me!

Go home, Huff.

Put the car in drive and go.

This isn't who you are!

This isn't who you have to be.

Aw, shit.

What do you mean,
this isn't who I have to be?

You always say
the weirdest shit.

I've done nothing
that I'm ashamed of.

But it's a been close, yes?

Just make it quick, ok?

Of course.

Um...
I needed a room.

I had the pneumonia
a few months ago

and, um... I don't want
to get sick again.

I--I'm sorry.

Don't apologize.

What--can I give you a ride
to a shelter or something?

You let me ride in your car?

Sure.

Oh, I--I already try the shelter.

No vacancy.

But half-star hotel around here
are very cheap-- only $35 a night.

Clean sheets, dry towel.

Ok, ok.

All right, here.
Get two nights.

And don't get sick again.

Thank you, mister.
Thank you.

Oh, um...
I know this is, uh...

Conflictive for you, yes?

Well, yeah, frankly, it is.

Can you do me one more favor?

What?

Find comfort for yourself
that you chose to help me.

Can you do that?

Can I find comfort for myself
that I chose to help you?

Yeah. Maybe little bit, yeah.

And don't you worry
about that nasty cut.

It will heal, and in 20 or 10 years,
you won't even think about it.

You know, I forgot all--

Ohh...

whoo.

Oh, that makes me nuts, man.

Why does that make me
so fucking nuts, baby?

It's just my ear.

Slow, slow,
slow, slow.

Slow.

Yep, you're a girl.

I told you so.

Mmm.

Treaty-treats.

Treats.

Careful, baby.

I want you hard.

Ok.

Real hard.

Ok.

Ok.

On your knees now, sweet pea.

Mmm.

No fucking around.

$200...

no fucking around.

$200.

And, sweet pea...

hmm?

It's really extra fun for me...

mm-hmm?

If you smack my ass
really fucking hard, ok?

All right.

Last time she's ever
gonna fuck with me,

I can guarantee you that.

What's that?

Sleeping pill.

Oh, no. You always snore
when you take those.

I hate those.

Sweetie, I was attacked this evening
at the police station.

I have an 8 A.M.
Tomorrow.

I'm a little wound up.
I need to sleep.

Ok. Well, maybe I should take one,

and we'll both sleep
through this together.

Look at that.
That's gonna fucking scar.

Look at this.

Every time I look in the mirror,

I'm gonna have to think
about that freak show lunging at me.

I'm turning off the light.
You coming?

Probably not tonight.

- You like that, baby?
- Yes, I do.

Yeah? That make you hard?

- Yeah?
- Yeah?

- Yeah.
- Oh, yeah.

- Yeah?
- Hold on.

Popper coming.

Popper for poppy.

- Yeah. Mm-hmm.
- Oh, fuck!

No kissing. No kissing.

Girl's gotta have
boundaries.

But I will stick
my finger up your ass.

Ok.

- You like that?
- Oh, yeah.

- You like that?
- Fuck, yeah.

You want me to put
my finger up your ass?

Dr. Craig Huffstodt,
this is Chico Swanson.

I know you got my messages.

Doctor?

Doctor, please respond.

Hello?

Mom?

Dad?

Hello?

I need to speak to you...

You guys awake?

There's some guy downstairs
calling your name.

Are you inside?

Hey!

I'm not going anywhere.

There's a guy downstairs calling
your name on a bullhorn.

Call me crazy, but I genuinely
doubt he has good news.

Give me 5 minutes of your time.

Dr. Craig Huffstodt,
this is Chico Swanson.

I don't believe this.

I know you got my messages.

Hey! You tell Melody the next time
she pulls a stunt like this,

I'll have her arrested
for disturbing the peace.

Now, get out of here!

Look, I don't know any Melody,
and Melody ain't suing you.

It's the family of that patient
of yours who offed himself.

You know...
the little faggot.

Jesus.

Get in here.
Get in here.

What are you, kidding me?

Johnson vs. Huffstodt:

A very important legal document
for your reading pleasure.

You're served.

Oh, well, this is just
fucking fantastic.

Wait. Let me see that.

What did you do to your face
there, my friend?

I was attacked by a bat.

- Ouch.
- Yeah.

This is a letter of
intent to sue, honey.

Wrongful death.

He killed himself
in your office, right?

Byrd, what are you
doing with that?

It's protection in case this guy
does anything out of line.

Put it down, please.

- Dad, I think--
- I said, put it down!

All right.

Why are you so mad at me, huh?

Why are you so mad at me?

I'm the one who died.

Because you didn't give me
a chance to help you.

If you gave me 30 seconds,

I could have told you that suicide never
works out like you think it will.

People just don't react
the way you want them to.

What I wanted was out.

It had nothing
to do with other people.

Well, it does for me, Sam.

You knew your parents
were ass holes.

Now I'm stuck with them.

"Doris and Ralph Johnson
hereby serve notice..."

"in the death of
Samuel Scott Johnson..."

- "seeking damages for loss sustained..."
- "And injuries suffered."

Huff?

Huff?

What?

Let's just go back to bed.

There's nothing we can do
about this right now.

Yeah, like I'm gonna sleep now.

I'm so glad I took a pill.

I'll rub your back.

Byrd, can you turn off
the lights?

I mean, do you even believe this?

Fuck everyone, Beth,
I swear to god.

Shh.

Melody and Sam's parents
and Chico fucking Swanson.

Aah!

Oh, was that too hard?

No, no. It feels good.

I'm sicking Russell
on all their stupid asses.

Oh, good.

They won't know
what the fuck hit 'em.

Fucking bullhorn.

That feels good.

Turn over.

Why?

'Cause I want you to.

Why?

Oh, honey...

mm-hmm?

I don't know if I can, uh...

uh...ha ha!

Uh, well, maybe I can.

Oh...

Beth, darling,
do you have any valencias?

Mitzi bought me navels, and, oh!
The juice is just appalling.

You know, it makes these glands
back here just--aah!--Scream.

Check the fruit bin.

Ok.

Morning.

Hey.

Thought you said
you were going jogging.

I already did.

You're kidding.

And I took a shower and finished
half of Tuesday's crossword.

Well, Tuesday's
usually pretty easy.

Hey, listen, do you think
I should cut my margin on this job?

No.

Well, it's a big fund-raiser
for the children's hospital,

and it kind of seems to defeat
the purpose if I mark up shrimp.

Never cut your margin, Beth.

And try not to write them
a huge check, either.

They could really use
the money, honey.

So could we.

That flaky little jean nate twit.

She got you the valencias.

What is that horrible gash?

Have you two been fighting again?

Ha ha ha!

I was playing with mike
a little too rough,

and he jumped up, and he
caught me in the face.

And we do not fight.

Well, we fight.
We just don't usually hit.

hmm. Ah, youth.

Darling, you will ask Mitzi
about the oranges, won't you?

She's just out walking mike.

She'll be back in a minute.

You can ask her yourself.

Dad, I was doing some research
on the internet on wrongful death.

Could life get more hideous?

Relax, mother.

I'm talking to Russell today.

Good. Make sure you make
a list of questions.

You always ask the wrong ones.

Hey, did anybody notice
these lumps on mike?

They're probably just fatty cysts.

Probably?

Mitzi, I--

Could you take him to Dr. Musatov today
and have those checked out?

Yeah. I had a dog
that had real dry skin.

They said it was
seborrhea or something.

6 weeks later, he died.

Died?

Mitzi--

His name was Ralph.
I really loved that dog.

Amitzi!

I'm--I'm really sorry
about your dog.

I really am, even though
I'm sure it was years ago.

But we have more pressing matters
at the moment than canine psoriasis.

Could you stop by and see me
on your way out today?

We have to talk about
the orange situation.

Cover yourself, Huff.

She's not family.

What orange situation?

Poor thing, she just keeps getting
more and more confused.

She will ask you to get her
the Valencia oranges.

Don't listen to her.

It's the navels
that she really wants.

Oh, all right. Ok.

You're going to hell, you know.

Dr. Huffstodt,
this is Chico Swanson...

Yeah, go fuck yourself, Chico.

Craig, this is Melody.

Oh, it's "Craig" now?

I'm outraged that you left me
to rot in that jail cell.

You absolutely have to
make room for me today.

Call me as soon as you get this.

- And you can't fire me...
- Karen?

Because I didn't call
your house once.

But I've been suicidal all night,
and you know I have a gun.

You don't have a gun, Melody.

I also have double-edged razor blades,

and I know how to
slash my wrists the right way--

none of this across-the-wrist
crap, but vertical,

slicing the veins up and down.

That's a new one.

Doctor, this is Karen.

I'm sorry to leave this message
on your voice mail.

But, uh, I just...
this is so hard,

but I just don't think I can,
work for you anymore--

- What?
- Work there, I mean.

You know, I'm still not sleeping well,
and I'm sorry,

but you know, I just can't get past...
forget it, you know?

All that blood.

I just have to quit,
you know--resign.

You know, I'm just very sorry.

Shit.

So, where is he?

I don't know, Dr. Huffstodt.

Look, he told me
to be here at noon.

I have patients this afternoon.

Well, he's late a lot.

You should really talk
to him about that.

It's another control issue he has.

Well, what did he tell you?

He didn't tell me anything,
because he won't answer his phone.

Well, did you try his cell?
He always answers that.

I left word on his voice mail.

How long ago?

Don't make yourself nuts about this.

He's always disappearing and...

like sludge from a pond,

he always surfaces.

Ok. Well, can you tell him to
call me as soon as possible?

It's very important.

Yes, I will.

- Thank you.
- Ok.

Oh, and if you run into him first,

tell him I can't save his ass
on his 2:00, period.

Russell?

Russ?

Russell?

Oh!

Not again.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh!

Jesus, your fingers are blue.

What the hell did you take this time?

What did I take?

I don't know.

Maybe I took some pot.

Ooh, she did tie me up tight,
didn't she?

Whoo.

Shit. Is it Thursday?

Yeah.

- My head hurts.
- No. Really?

Yeah, baby.

You realize you could
have been killed, right?

What happened to
your face, bub?

Patient attacked me.

Mmm. And you're
worried about me.

No, no. You seem fine.

Is there glass on the floor?

No.

Oh, good.

Goddamn the little harlotta.

This is a vintage bernini.

Didn't even wear
the sassy fucker yet.

So, I suppose this one was just
waiting in the car for you, huh?

Oh, like that
would ever happen.

You know, if you ever decide
you might need a little help,

I happen to know
some fantastic people.

Oh, yeah? Well, maybe you
should give them a call.

I just got laid. You're the one
whose patient beat you up.

You call this
just getting laid, huh?

Huff, I had a marvelous evening
with a lovely young lady,

and we dozed off.

Now, there's a chance
that little minx

could have slipped something
into my beverage,

but we'll never
really know now, will we?

Gee, now what are you taking?

What are you, a fucking cop?

I'm taking some aspirin because
I have an important 2:00 meeting.

What the fuck are you doing here anyway?

It's a long story.

Aren't the all, pal?

Aren't they all?

Where's my television?

What the fuck happened to
my television?

No one will show up for that, Lois,
let alone write a check.

But animals are victims.

People are victims.

But what about all those poor animals
sold for science research?

Better their eyes
blister than mine.

And the mink farms?

Those precious little pelts

raised for the sole purpose
of being slaughtered.

They don't skin them alive
like baby seals.

They euthanize them.

Trust me, they don't
feel a thing.

A little too much heat, Margo.

Oh, fund-raising
is such a chore.

Hey, why don't we call the girls

and get together
for a bridge game this week?

What do you say?

Ooh, fun.

Yeah. Are you sure
you don't want a facial?

You really look haggard.

Thanks a lot.

Oh, come on.

You know what I mean.
You look tired.

You feeling all right?

Yes, Izzy, I'm feeling fine.

Good, good, 'cause
I worry about you.

I'm just checking up,
you know.

Um...is Betty ok?

Truth. Truth. Truth.

6 months to go, and she gets
her 5-year cancer-free ribbon.

Sometimes I swear
she's not my daughter.

I'd have been dead by now

if I'd been through
what she's been through.

- And thank you for asking.
- Mm-hmm.

All right, darling.

Aah!

You are burning me!

What on earth could possibly
sound like that and be funny, hmm?

No, I understand.

I just don't have my appointment
book in front of me right now.

Shit.

Wh-what?

You're breaking up. What?

No, I said Karen quit.

She wanted to spend more time
with her family.

Yes, I'm interviewing
assistants today.

In fact, I have to go.

Yeah, somebody will get
back to you, I promise.

Ok. Very good.

Hey, Paula.

Oh, thank you.

I know this is ridiculously
short notice.

Assistants, as in plural--
more than 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5?

That's not how I understood
the situation.

Well, you wouldn't
give me an answer on the phone.

That's right.

Um, that's a nasty scratch.

Yeah, the fun
never stops here.

Please come in.

Thank god you're here.

Uh, Beth sends her best.

And Byrd boy?

Oh, Byrd boy.

Byrd boy's 14 going on 40.

He's a little freaked out.

His voice just changed.

I think he was a lot happier
when he thought he knew everything.

Mmm, who wasn't?

And, uh, Teddy?

He's not so good.

He's still at woodburne.

Have a seat.

I'm ok.

What happened to, uh, Sarah?

Karen.

Whatever.

Why did she fly?

Well, she was here,
you know,

when the boy shot himself, so...

um, Huff, I assume
the boy had a name.

Yeah, ok. Sam.

She was here, and she's still
not sleeping very well.

Mmm. I can only imagine.

Oh, you know,
I like your new carpet.

Yeah, it's green.

Huff, if I come back,
it has to be different.

I will not be an assistant.

You have to pay me and call me
as an office manager,

because that's what I was,
and that's what I'll be.

Paula, done.

Ok. I'm not gonna be picking
up your dry cleaning

and running errands for you.

Excuse me, but I never asked
you to do any of that.

You volunteered for that stuff.

I know, I know.

I'm just unvolunteering, ok?

We just gonna keep it business,
keep it professional,

'cause I've changed.

Good, good.

Ok, well, I also need
4 weeks of vacation with pay--

not including Easter, Christmas,
Martin Luther king's birthday, veterans day,

and all those other holidays people get--

but I want you to include
Kwanzaa and passover.

Ok, a very enthusiastic yes to everything
except for the 4 weeks, Paula.

I can't run a business like that.

Come on, two weeks.

- 3.
- Not consecutive.

Fine.

Oh!

Huff?

What?

Jesus is telling me that
something dark happened here.

Jesus is--is--

Yes.

Not evil...but dark...

and it happened here--
right here.

Yeah. That's, uh, that's...

shh, shh, shh.

Ooh, Jesus, sweet Jesus,

we come to you, Jesus,
with the power of your blood.

And, Jesus, we ask that
you cleanse this office, sweet Jesus.

Cleanse this man, Jesus.

Please fill him with the love,

the courage and strength
that he needs, Jesus.

We ask, Jesus, that you hold
precious Sam in your bosom, Jesus.

And we just say thank you.

Thank you, Jesus.

So, when you want me to start?

Tomorrow.

Fine.

Paula.

Mm-hmm?

You know that you can't--

you can't talk like that in front of
the patients, right?

Oh, yeah. I mean, you the only one
playing god in here.

- That's right.
- Ok.

Oh, one more thing.

You tell your little friend Russell
I'm not taking his shit.

Ok.

I'm serious, Huff.

If he spoon-feeds me one ounce
of his fuckin' bullshit,

I'm out of here.

All right. It's good
to see your mouth hasn't changed.

I'm working on that,
but my mind is clean--

which is more than I can say for
that ass hole friend of yours.

I'll see you at 8:00.

Thank you, Paula.

Did you know an aspirin

can cost up to 10 bucks
at the hospital?

And they need money?

Yeah, well, the party's
for the oncology center.

And, yes, they do.

What have I ever
done to her?

That's all I want to know.

Who?

Mitzi--miss Mitzi.

Do you know what play Lincoln
was watching when he got shot?

I know that.
"Our country cousin."

Thank you.

So, I'm gonna be
in the den working.

Somebody give me a call
when dinner's ready.

It's my turn
to clean up, right?

Yeah.

Darling, I know
you pay her salary,

but I pay for her dental work
and her car insurance,

and once I even paid
for her utility bill

so they wouldn't
turn out the lights--

all because of some bizarre
deathbed promise to her mother.

I don't know.

What did it get me?

Ha ha! Nothing.

Who?

Mitzi.

Doesn't anyone listen
around here?

Wow! Did you know that 3 days
before Lincoln got shot,

he had a premonition
death dream?

Thank god none of my dreams
ever came true.

I'm gonna go upstairs,
all right?

Mm-hmm.

Darling, hurry up
with dinner.

I'm losing weight
as we speak. Ha ha ha!

That's not all you're losing.

So, I take this to mean you don't
want to see me anymore.

Don't turn this around on me
just because it's your letter opener.

I will stab myself
right here, right now.

No, I believe you.

I believed you
every time you said it.

You also just broke
rule number 3--

which, according to our agreement,
means you just fired me.

What?

Orchestrating scenarios to manipulate me
into doing what you want me to do.

I'm really sorry.

I'm just not gonna leap across there
and grab that out of your hands, ok?

I really hope you don't stab yourself
for a variety of reasons.

But, you know, if that's the action
you wish to take,

you're free to take it.

In the meantime, I want you to call
Dr. Anne Brunner, ok?

She's expecting your call.

And I'll take that,
and that's for you.

You're pawning me off
on someone else?

I'm referring you, Melody.

You don't honor the boundaries
I've established,

and I'm partially
responsible for that.

Don't think of this
as a punishment, ok?

Think of this as the next step
in your treatment.

I sincerely hope that someday
you're able to see

that I want nothing
but the best for you.

You will regret this.

Oh, Dr. Huffstodt.

Yeah.

Hi. I'm Everett Wayne.

I'm an investigator with the
licensing medical board.

You're shitting me.

Great.

It's routine for psychiatrists
whenever anyone brings a malpractice suit.

Malpractice? Ha!

Good-bye, Melody.

Would you step in here?

Who'd he get rid of
this time?

Uh, excuse me.
Where are you going?

He terminated me.

I'm going in there,
and you can't stop me.

Oh, yeah? Watch!

Watch, watch,
watch.

Get your hands off me!
This is assault!

Ok, then,
how can I help you?

I'd like to see a copy of
Sam Johnson's file.

- Johnson?
- Yeah, Johnson.

How many Sams you have that have
killed themselves?

No, no, it's just, uh...

You have a problem with the board
reviewing the file?

No, no, no,
of course not.

Um, it's outside.
Would you excuse me one second?

Sure.

Are you ok?

Fuckin' loon-ass bitch!

Shh.

Things were not
this crazy before.

Can you get Russell on the phone
for me right away, please?

Daniel did not go back
in the lion's den for--

just call him
right away, please.

Isn't this a little bit
out of the ordinary?

Don't you people usually just
drop something in the mail?

You people?

Russell on two!

Thank you!
Excuse me.

Uh, hey, I'm sorry
to bother you at work,

but I have a gentleman here
from the medical board,

and he wants me to release
a patient's file for review.

Is he right there
in front of you?

He's standing
right here.

Well, then, you've gotta give him
the fuckin' file, don't you?

Not the original.

Make a copy.
Get a receipt.

And act as if
I'm not screaming!

Because if you call your lawyer
and don't cooperate with these people,

they will fry
your ass on that!

Right. That's what
I thought, too.

Ok, now, give him
a reassuring look.

Tell him to call me
if he has any questions,

because you're in session
all afternoon, and you're hard to reach.

Why? Because you're successful,

know what you're doing,
and help people!

Absolutely.

Uh, Paula!

Uh, that's what I thought.

I just, uh, wanted
to check with you.

Ok, thanks a lot.

Paula, would you make a copy of
Sam Johnson's file

and give it to Mr. Wayne to take
with him, please?

He's a putz.

Yeah, but this thing gets fucked up,
I could lose my license.

No shit.

Oh, god, you're concerned.

You're never concerned.

If you're concerned,
I'm screwed.

Will you relax?
You're not gonna lose your license.

I called a friend of a friend who
happens to be on the medical board,

convinced him to see us
first thing in the morning.

Tomorrow morning?

Mm-hmm.

How can you
prepare by then?

No, how can they
prepare by then?

Cuts both ways, you know.

You see how thick
this fuckin' file is?

I never should have given them
that stupid thing.

No, you actually did
exactly the right thing.

The longer we wait,

the greater chance this thing has of crawling
its way up to the opposite trial counsel.

Trial counsel?

Mm-hmm.

That's why I pushed it
till tomorrow morning.

It's just a hearing--
no dog and pony show in court.

Just you and me
and Nellie Wayne.

Everett Wayne.

All right, let me know
what time tomorrow, ok?

Where you goin', man?

Didn't you want to split
some crab cakes or something?

No. I gotta go.

Just please promise me to get
a good night's sleep tonight, ok?

Huff, relax.

I always do,
night before a show, ok?

Ok.

You go home and relax.
Take a nice steam bath.

Rub one out.

Somebody stole my TV.

And I need a spankin'.

What if I died tomorrow?

You're not that lucky.

I'm serious.

Happens every day.

People leave the house with every
intention of returning home,

but they don't make it.

They collide with
an oil tanker on the 405

or have a heart attack
at the bank.

To the bank.

I knew you were
going to say that.

Listen to them.

They sound like coyotes
after a kill.

They're playing bridge.

I wouldn't be
so sure about that.

Good night, honey.

Good night.

Seriously, what if
I died tomorrow?

Well, I suppose
it could happen.

So, do you want one last piece
of ass for the road?

You know
what would suck?

A cerebral hemorrhage.

Uh-huh.

Aneurysms, they'll just,
they'll drop you--

ha ha! Ok! Ok, ok, ok.

Let me just pee.

Ok, all right,
I'll close the door.

Russell?

In here, bud.

They just called us in.

Solid.

Well, you said you were
gonna take a leak.

You've been in here
for, like, 10 minutes.

What the hell
are you doing?

Going over the file.

You're just
reading the file now?

Buddy, look, um, there's
no toilet paper in here.

You mind if I use
a couple of pages?

It's just a copy, right?

What?

I'm kidding.

I'm not gonna wipe my butt with
the poor kid's file.

Ha ha ha! Come on.

Important thing is,
you're entertained.

Well, you're very
entertaining.

So, how's this all
gonna go again?

See those two girlie-girls
in there?

No.

You want to know
something funny?

Whenever somebody checks me out
when I'm taking a leak,

I start to get a chubby.

Does that make me weird?

I don't believe this.

Tits up, buddy.
Tits up. Here we go.

Good morning,
gentlemen.

Good morning.

Good morning,
your honor.

Not an honor. I told you,
we're not in court.

Oh, sorry, ma'am.

Mrs. Delmont will be fine.

Suicide, right?

Yes, pending med/mal suit.

This is fairly routine.

Mr. Wayne will ask
the questions,

and then I'll determine
if any further action is needed.

Shall we?

Dr. Huffstodt, how long had
Sam Johnson been a patient of yours?

About a year and a half.

I think that information's
in the file that we provided you with.

And what was your diagnosis
of Mr. Johnson?

Major depressive disorder.

That would also be in the file.

And why did you not file
form 522-a?

What's that?

The law requires that whenever there is
incidence of sexual abuse,

form 522-a be completed
and reported to social services.

It's that.

And why does the law
clearly state that?

To protect innocent children
who can't protect themselves.

And yet you blatantly
ignored it.

Why did you break the law?

I didn't ignore
anything, Mr. Wayne.

The form wasn't
applicable in this case.

You didn't complete the form.

You broke the law.

It's as simple as that.

Feel free to jump in
any time here.

As a licensed
practitioner, Dr. Huffstodt,

your duties are the same as anyone else
in a position of trust.

Mr. Wayne does have
a valid point.

look, the alleged sexual abuse
took place 8 years ago--

a full 6 years before
I started seeing Sam as a patient.

It wasn't even ongoing.

I mean, legally this is
a nonissue, isn't it?

But he still
told you about it.

Yes, he told me about it.

And you didn't
complete the form.

No, I didn't
complete the form.

You're unbelievable,
you know that?

Let's just back up a second here
and look at all the facts.

Mr. Wayne, I assume that you've
studied the file.

Of course.

What medications did Dr. Huffstodt
prescribe the patient

as referenced
on page 5 of the file?

Effexor and wellbutrin, I think.

Yes, yes, I see it,
Mr. Tupper.

It's--it's right here,
page 5.

What--what is--
what's your point?

Ok, you just bear
with me a second.

How effective was this medication
and what actions,

if any, did Dr. Huffstodt
take as a result?

Page 7.

There you go,
right there.

"Patient's affect showed
considerable improvement."

Dr. Huffstodt actually didn't have to
make any adjustments at all,

because the patient was well on his way to
becoming stable for the first time in months.

- Of course.
- Of course.

Now, on may 2, 2002,

patient shared about
the death of his dog.

Mr. Wayne, how did
this event affect Sam?

How did he process that?

Page 12.

Here. May I? Can I?

"Patient... patient
was devastated."

Abut one week later,

when Dr. Huffstodt asked his patient
how he was doing with the loss of said dog,

patient said, "what dog?
I don't have a dog."

He lied, Mr. Wayne.

One week he said his mother
was a pediatrician

and always with patients.

When Dr. Huffstodt contacted her
to participate in her son's therapeutic work,

he learned she wasn't
a pediatrician at all.

But this doesn't matter.
The law states--

oh, it matters
a great deal, Mr. Wayne,

because chances are very good that the
allegations of sexual abuse were a lie, too.

And I'm glad
you mentioned the law.

Let's look at the law so that Dr. Huffstodt
and I can go about our day.

The law clearly states
any allegation of sexual abuse

only be reported when surrounded
by indicia of truthfulness--

to which I'd say in this case
there's considerable doubt,

given that the poor lad is
practically delusional,

and not just about
his mom and the doggy.

Uh, no, no, that is absurd.

Well, it may be,

but it all boils down to one
important question.

Is there anything--
anything at all--

in Sam Johnson's file
that indicates to you

that his allegations of sexual abuse
were clearly truthful in a way

that separates them from all of his
other misleading representations?

Yes or no.

Mr. Wayne?

No.

Well, then,
we're finished here.

I think so, too.

Dr. Huffstodt,

the board apologizes to you for any
unnecessary burden it has caused you.

I'm sure this has been
a very stressful time for you.

You have no idea.

Everett...

I'd like to see you
in my office.

Sam never had a dog.

I know.

And he never told me
what his mother did,

and I never contacted her
about anything.

I know that, too.
It was a bluff.

- A bluff?
- Yeah.

What? Are you out
of your fuckin' mind?

Shh.

Don't fuckin' shush me.
This is my life.

How dare you do that?

How dare you lie about the character
of a patient of mine like that?

Because it is my job to make
this horse shit go away,

not campaign for sainthood
for some poor kid who killed himself.

Ok, try and understand this, ok?

I happened to care
a lot about that kid.

He had a very hard life.

I already feel bad enough
that I couldn't help him,

let alone dragging his name through
the mud like that in a public forum.

Buddy, if you feel the need
to forgive yourself for some way

that you think you might
have failed him,

that's your business.

Frankly, I do not give a shit
what I said about him in there.

I give a shit about you.

And while I respect the fact
that you cared about him,

it is ultimately utterly irrelevant to me
as someone who is trying to save your ass.

You lied in there, Russell.

I won in there
is what I did.

They're probably going over
the goddamn file right now.

No, we got the file.

Well, no problem, then.

No wonder your life
is a fuckin' mess.

Ok, now, careful there. Steady.

You don't want to say something
you can't take back.

And you know me.

I don't forget stuff.
Now, listen to me.

Anybody could tell after 30 seconds
that that tit had barely skimmed the file.

Now, just to make sure,
I gave him a quiz,

which he failed
miserably.

He wanted to take
your license away, buddy,

and I didn't want
to let that happen,

so I took
a calculated risk.

Believe it or not,
in lawyer land,

bluff-wise...
wasn't even that sexy.

You want to worry
about something?

Want to get all worked up
about something?

Worry about the real, live court
case we've got coming up,

where people actually
do testify under oath.

There is no way in hell that I could
pull the kind of bullshit

that I got away with
in there on your behalf.

I'm going to have
a cocktail.

Russell...

by myself.

How are you, Dr. Huffstodt?

Oh, every day's a gift.

Yes, it is.

I'm afraid he's had
a tough one today.

The paranoid delusions
are rearing their ugly heads again.

Hmm. How long?

All last night
and most of today.

He's finally quieted down,
but we can't get him to sleep,

and we don't want to
medicate him any more.

No, of course.

Just let me know
if you need anything.

I'll be right outside
in the hall.

- Ok, thank you.
- Sure.

- Bro.
- Hey, bud.

How you doin' there?

Oh, they've been
after me all day, Craig.

Yeah, I know.

Nurse Redlich told me.

Really?

I wonder who told her? Not me.

I hardly tell anybody
about them--

especially the nice ones
or the quiet ones.

It's the loud ones.

Make me want to jump
out the window.

Told me I could fly.

Well, it's a good thing nurse Redlich's
got your seat belt on, then, huh?

I'm so tired.

I know.

Maybe if you asked them
to go away so you can get some sleep...

they can always
come back tomorrow.

Tried that.

They like assaulting me
when I'm not looking.

They laugh afterwards.

They don't
want me to sleep.

I just can't imagine
what that's like, Ted.

It's not fun.

Yeah, I'm sure it isn't.

Well, I've been attacked by a bunch
of people myself this week.

Of course, my people
and voices are real.

I think.

You're a better man
than I am.

You don't fight back.
You just lay there and take it.

That's how you win, you know?

You hold on.

You know, I was having lunch
at this outdoor cafe this week,

and I saw this couple looking with disgust
at something out on the sidewalk.

And I looked over,

and I saw this grounded pigeon
under one of the chairs,

and I realized he must have smacked
right into the cafe window.

Poor thing never
saw it coming, you know?

It just...bang.

Took him down.

Then a few days later,

I saw these seagulls--
dozens of them-- just way up there,

just gliding around in this big old
friendly family group.

And at one point
they all turned in unison,

and they shimmered like little silver coins;
little flying coins.

Then they dipped, and they turned,
and they coasted into this little cluster,

and they all shimmered again.

And then they spread out
in this really long line,

and they shimmered again,

and I thought, "god,
who are they following?"

"I mean, there's obviously
some logical order going on here,"

"but where the heck's
it coming from?"

And then I thought,

"man, each one of these birds is gonna smack
right into their own window one day."

"But, you know, at least they're
not looking for it today."

Free as a bird.

Do you think I'm crazy, Ted?

Teddy?

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