All language subtitles for House, M.D. S08E16 Gut Check.srt - eng(2)

Come on!

(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

(SPECTATORS EXCLAIMING)

Yeah!

(BUZZER BLARING)

(SPECTATORS CHEERING)

(CHANTING)
Hatchet! Hatchet!

Hatchet! Hatchet!

ANNOUNCER:
Come on, Toros! Let's make some noise!

Nice to meet the pride
of Trois-Riviéres.

I still got your
Wings rookie card.

- So what's that worth?
- Well, it's a collector's item.

They don't make them
like you anymore.

So you want to go?

Square up. Good luck.

(SPECTATORS SHOUTING)

(GRUNTING)

(SPECTATORS CHEERING)

He didn't get a hand on you?

You're gonna be
a force in the show.

SPECTATORS: (CHANTING)
Hatchet! Hatchet! Hatchet!

Hatchet! Hatchet! Hatchet!

(JEERING)

MAN: Come on, Toros!
(COUGHING)

Get a trainer over here!

HOUSE: Capacity crowd is on its feet,
five seconds on the clock.

Ah!

How is it possible for one man to be
blessed with so much skill?

(EXHALING HEAVILY)

I had one just like this,
except it was Bruins and the Habs.

Where'd you get it?

Birthday present for someone in
pediatric oncology.

Twenty-two-year-old
enforcer with hemoptysis.

He's a hockey player?

No, he's a superhero.

He's coughing up blood because he
probably broke a rib

and punctured a lung while breaking
someone else's rib

and puncturing their lung
in the name of sport.

Nice conclusion, to which the ER already
jumped 18 hours ago.

Short man equals bullied child.

I was average height as a kid.
And never bullied.

JESSICA: Until now.

X-ray ruled out traumatic sequelae,
overt TB and lung cancer.

Sarcoidosis. Nodules could be too small
to show up on an X-ray.

But fighting's the best part of hockey.

Without it, you've got the Ice Capades.

Fighting has nothing to do with hockey.

It's like the cheerleaders
at a basketball game.

CHASE: Cheerleading's
the best part of basketball.

Without it,
you've got basketball.

JESSICA:
He's a duck hunter.

He could have contracted psittacosis
from exposure to fowl.

He had three teeth knocked out
two weeks ago.

Infection could have
led to oral bleeding.

Not without continuing dental pain.

Then he took an elbow to the gut,

which caused an esophageal tear.

Chase, CT the patient,
check for sarcoid.

Adams, sputum cultures
and serologies for psittacosis.

Taub, I'd tell you
why I think your theory

is not just wrong but ill-conceived,

but it's more fun to prove it by having
you check the stool for blood.

Now while we wait for the stool fairy,
I'm a man down.

So if you want to drop your pants
and hit the ice.

BOBBY: The faster
you guys can do this, the better.

The NHL's been sniffing around,

and being in the hospital's not really
helping my marketability, so...

You have to be pretty good
to get called up.

Yeah, leading the league
in penalty minutes.

And visits to the ER,
not counting the ones you've caused.

Not a hockey fan, I gather?

I am, that's the point.
Fighting cheapens a great sport.

Oh, come on. That's like saying
passing cheapens football.

It's part of the game.

I don't cause injuries.

They're self-inflicted?

No, I prevent them.

I take the hits,
so the smaller guys don't have to.

I thought you'd appreciate that.

(SWITCH CLICKS)

Neighbor's baby again?

I could hear it through earplugs,

two pillows, and three sleeping pills.

Hmm.

What is wrong with you?

I just said, "Hmm."

You're trying to figure out
some deeper significance

to my having a couple of crappy nights.

Which one of us is analyzing
the word "hmm" here?

Fine. I'm sorry.

AP0l0gy accepted.

However, it's not the crying
that's keeping you awake.

The sound of a needy child
is stirring your paternal juices.

The sound of a needy child
at 112 decibels

has stirred my inner murderer.
Don't mess with me.

Explain the stains on your shirt.
You're lactating.

The fact that you're the only fruit

on your family tree is getting to you.

It's not a big deal.
So I'll probably never be a dad.

It sucks. I'll lose
a little sleep, but...

You're not supposed to feel bad
when you dodge a bullet.

It's like you've got survivor's guilt.

There are actually things in this world

that give life even more meaning

than soap operas and monster trucks.

And we happen to be missing out on
at least one of them.

(SIGHS)

You remember the falconer?

Beth?

You dated two falconers?

Yes, Beth.

The night the two of you split up,

you came around to my place,

wallowing in self-pity and tequila.

You passed out.

She called that night. Asked me to give
you a message.

She said she was pregnant.

Which, God and Planned
Parenthood willing,

means you are the father
of an 11-year-old.

I told you the next morning.
Hypothetically.

I asked you how you'd feel
if Beth had gotten pregnant,

and you said, and I quote, "it would be
the worst mistake of my life."

And scene.

Two performances Sunday,
dark Mondays?

Just as well.

(DOOR CLOSES)

CHI: I want to kill my mother.

My Pope's on her own

and my mother always needs me
to take care of her.

Well, you could kill Popo instead.

I have to take her shopping,
to her friends, to Atlantic City.

I love her,
but every night, every weekend...

And only if there was some solution,

some place where you could live.

That's not there.

My mom would freak. it would be the
ultimate sign of disrespect.

Okay. Then stay.

And maybe you'd consider
not bitching about it?

Not everyone's lucky enough
to have your independence.

Don't worry. When you lose your family,
you'll have it, too.

(COMPUTER BLEEPS)

He doesn't have sarcoid.

Look at that. That's his spleen.

I know, but he's gotten it supersized.

Deep vein thrombosis, caused by any
one of his many injuries or surgeries.

Leukemia's a better fit.

We have a guy who is punishing
his body on a daily basis.

Don't you think that's a more likely
cause than cancer?

No, because she doesn't
have an agenda.

Well, that was incredibly
unprofessional.

Although, it's really Taub's fault.

If you're not prepared to slam her
into the board,

she's got no reason not to go after you.

Might I suggest pulling her jersey
over her head first?

We should get an ultrasound for DVT
and WBC for leukemia.

You think I could have cancer?

More likely it's just a DVT.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

This is my agent. I gotta take this.

Yeah.

Give me some good news, Kenny.

I thought you said "any day".

Okay. All right.

L gotta g0-

(SIGHS)

I called Beth.

I have an 11-year-old son.

Liver failure could
alter hormone levels,

cause abnormal breast development.

Alcoholism. We should search
his home and locker room.

Note that the person who wants
to search the home

didn't sleep in one last night.

You have the imprint
of a seatbelt buckle on your cheek.

I got in a fight with my mother.

She hit you with a seatbelt?

It could be hemochromatosis.

JESSICA:
Explains the liver and the spleen,

but hemoptysis is a stretch.

What about leptospirosis?

TAUB: That's a good fit.

If you ignore the fact
that he's a pro athlete

who looks like the Incredible Hulk,

which means he's got to be on steroids,
which is a better fit.

All we really know for sure is that

it was his evil job
that caused the problems.

Yes, I don't like him.
Doesn't mean my judgment's affected.

Maybe. Let's take a look
at the instant replay.

This is the hit that precipitated
Booby Orr's fight.

Dirty or clean?

- The hit was clean.
- JESSICA: Really?

The guy released the puck
at least a second before the hit.

We have a difference
of opinion. That's all.

Absolutely.

Maybe she's as biased as you.

Or maybe the entire league is.

After review, the league disciplinary
commissioner ruled the hit

illegal and dangerous, and suspended
the player for three games.

Adams and Taub,
run antibody titers for lepto.

Chase and Park, check out the home,
the locker room for booze,

steroids and Taub's objectivity.

At least you're free.

You gonna get your own place?

If I can find a place
I can afford, so no.

If you want, you can crash at my place.
Got a spare bedroom.

That might be kind of weird.

I live in an apartment, not a dungeon.

It's just two single people,
opposite sex.

Your bedroom door has
a lock on the inside.

Hey, if you prefer your car,
be my guest.

Scrip for ganciclovir.

If his neighbor has mono,
it could mean he has mono.

If he has mono,
explains his spleen and hemoptysis.

And it's caused by the Epstein-Barr
virus, which explains his liver.

And my moonroof leaks.

Thank you.

Why don't we just assume
that you're not the dad?

Well, either you're the dad

or she cheated on you with your dad.

Oh!

Sand art. I used to love this.

He's bitter,
not mentally handicapped.

Who knows what Beth
told him about you?

At worst, you're a rapist.
At best, you're a rapist.

Maybe she said
I was a dead war hero.

Raised by a lunatic mother
and abandoned by his father.

Oh, I know, squirrel handcuffs.

You think he's got any of those?

If you really wanted me to do nothing
with this information,

then why did you give it to me?

Because you were pining for a kid

and you deserved to know
that you already had one.

But your paternal cravings
are more theoretical than applied.

You want vicarious immortality

more than you want a lifelong burden.

You're assuming
he's gonna be a nightmare.

What if he's a good kid?

He's a kid. Best you can hope for
is he's a nightmare.

House, I'm not naive. I realize that
this thing could go very badly,

but the point is my son wants to meet
me, and I want to meet him.

Popo, I presume.

Hey. I let myself in.

This is... We've met.

I thought the whole point of this
was to get away from Popo.

My dad's getting a cyst removed

and my mother had to
take him to the clinic.

Don't worry, she'll be gone in an hour.

I'm not worried
because it's not my issue.

She seems awfully quiet.

You haven't seen her drunk.

(BOBBY SOBBING)

TAUB: Bobby?

(CONTINUES SOBBING)

I found him crying
in the fetal position.

CHI: It's not a new symptom.

He's crying because his liver failure

threw his hormones out of whack.

Aside from the crying,
he's actually recovering nicely.

TAUB: Aside from the guy
in the book depository,

the Kennedys had
a lovely trip to Dallas.

Repetitive blows to the head

can cause chronic
traumatic encephalopathy,

the symptoms of which are aggressive
behavior and depression.

So your theory is
that his aggressive behavior

caused his aggressive behavior?

He's not depressed, he's just bummed,

because he knows
he's a talentless moron

who's only one lost fight away
from being a barista.

I understand that
can get to a guy after a while.

If he quits being an enforcer,
it could save his life.

You don't want to save his life.

You want to kill his career.

I moved into Chase's apartment.

He knows.
He was staring at our matching cups.

I told you we should have split up.

We're not having sex.
With each other.

- Yet.
- Yes.

Yes?

I just mean no one knows the future
right now, so we don't really know...

The only conclusive test
for CTE is post-mortem.

TAUB: But an MRI of his brain could
reveal white matter disintegrity,

which is the effect of CTE.

Why? Are you trying to sleep with her?

'Cause a simpler technique
is just to ask.

- I was doing something nice.
- No.

That doesn't fit.

He's only had
three concussions since he was 10.

It's not enough to cause CTE.

Three reported concussions.

These guys are taught in high school
how to dupe the tests.

- Guilt?
- This is really insulting.

It's not guilt.
Park is a friend.

So it's guilt.

Chase convinced you to leave Mommy
and now he feels responsible.

No MRI.

Do a psych eval, if he doesn't start
weeping again, send him home.

Dr. Wilson?

Duncan?

James.

Nice to meet you.

It's nice to meet you.

Um...

How are you doing?

Good.

Good.

I got you this.

Oh.

Thank you.

- Go ahead.
- Okay.

It's got three games built-in,

but you can download
more from the website.

I know.

You already have one.

I can always use a backup.

Hi. Can I start you
with something to drink?

Just water, please.

You got a GameDeck?
Way to go, Dad.

According to your psych eval,

the only thing happier than you
is Disneyland.

I'm sorry you had
to see me like that last night.

I'm just upset about being in the
hospital, I'm on some weird meds.

But they must be working,
because I'm feeling a lot better now.

Depression could be
the symptom of a serious illness, CTE.

Yeah. My aunt sends me every article
she can find on it.

Then you know it could kill you.

In the long run, like a lot of things.

You might be right.

And an MRI could confirm that.

I have enough evidence of head trauma
in my file already, so...

Mom said you had trouble maintaining
relationships with normal people.

She also said you were a nice guy.

I always figured she was lying

'cause she didn't want me to hate
my deadbeat dad.

I didn't know.

I know, now.

You're a bright kid.

Thanks to you. Thanks to my mom,

I'm also a big, soft-hearted wuss.

(LAUGHS)

I think you may have gotten that
from both of us.

I got to go, but it was really
nice meeting you.

It was nice meeting you, Duncan.

(SIGHS)

You want to
hang out again?

(LAUGHS)

- Absolutely.
- Tonight?

Tonight?

Well, I... There's...

That would be great.

Okay. I'll text you.

(DOOR OPENS)

Thank you. How'd you
talk him into it?

He agreed once
I promised him anonymity.

Mr. and Mrs. Doe
liked the name John, apparently.

Unfortunately, we just wasted his time
and proved House right.

Nothing?
(CLICKS TONGUE)

(COMPUTER BEEPS)

- What about that?
- That's an artifact.

That's a density.

I know you think I'm convincing myself,

but this brain
has been hammered for years,

meaning evidence
may be subtle, but it's there.

HOUSE ON COMPUTER:
Meaning you see what you want to see.

Unless, of course, Chase is an idiot
and I do have brain damage.

(PAGERS BEEPING)

Patient's stroking out.

Chase.
Can you get me out of...

Oh...

Hello?

HOUSE: The good news
is it's isolated ophthalmoplegia,

which means
he didn't have a stroke.

Bad news is Taub was right.
You're still sick.

I said "right", not "competent".

Bursts your CTE bubble.
You're gonna need a whole new theory

to keep Uncle Jesse
and his Olsen Twins on the bench.

Can we discuss
my incompetence somewhere else?

Dr. House. Could I talk to you
for a minute?

Could be neurosyphilis.

He's only 22.

And he's been
on the road since he was 14.

So he was trash even
before he was trash?

Are you curious
about what he wanted?

I assume he wanted me
off the case,

and you told him
I was hit in the head as a child,

and your mother made you promise
to take care of me.

He was doing what he always does.

Sticking up for the little guy.

He told me to apologize to you,

or he would excrete down my throat.

I'm paraphrasing.

So if he should ask, I was a gentleman,

or I will excrete down your throat.

Microscopic polyangiitis fits.

TAUB: We should start
plasmapheresis immediately.

We need to run an ANCA panel
to confirm first.

Putting him on plasmapheresis could
make him bleed out.

MPA can progress quickly.

We may not have time
before it reaches his lungs.

I think you're right,
thus confirming my objectivity.

Start the treatment.

Miserable yet?

He's polite, well-adjusted,
and a straight-A student.

Which means he doesn't need you.

So why don't you get out
while the butterfly effect

is still in the cocoon stage.

I'm making him dinner.

You don't make an 11-year-old dinner.

You give him a jar of peanut butter.

It'll be fine.

I could give this kid a quinoa salad

and he would eat it just to be nice.

'Cause he's a gutless placater,
just like his dad.

He's nice.

This is a terrible idea.

Because we like each other?

Yes. Because of the statement,
"We like each other."

You've known him 25 minutes.

All you know about him
is that he'd lie about a quinoa salad,

whatever the hell that is.

You're jealous of an 11-year-old

because you are an 11-year-old.

So tell me about yourself.

I mean you're smart,
you're nice, but what else?

I don't know. I'm a kid.

Right.

What are you looking for?

Nothing.

You want peanut butter?

Do you have prosciutto?

- You like prosciutto?
- I'm weird.

No! No, I like it, too.

- I've got some in the fridge.
- How about goat cheese?

(LAUGHS)

I love goat cheese.

I think that was
the best pizza I ever had.

It was the hint of Dijon.

Do you have any
aunts or uncles or grandparents?

My mom got into
some stupid fight with my grandfather.

They all kind of cut us off.

Hmm.

Are you talking to your parents?

Yes, and they're going to be very
surprised and excited to meet you.

That's awesome.

AUTOMATED VOICE ON GPS:
You have arrived at your destination.

(SIGHS)

- Well...
- Thanks for the pizza.

Sure. Sure. I mean, it was great
to spend time with you.

I love you, Dad.

(CHUCKLES)

It can't be easy doing what you do.

I mean, do you love it?

Is it fun?

I had my own plastic surgery practice,
making lots of money.

But I wasn't happy.
It wasn't what I went to med school for.

(SIGHS)

Every winter, my dad would flood
the backyard and make a rink.

I was Lemieux,
my little brother was Gretzky.

I was good. I won the NDHA scoring title
three years in a row.

I kept getting bigger
and stronger and better.

Until I didn't.

My Juniors coach told me
that if I wanted to stay on the team,

that I'd have to use my size.

Every game,
I got less and less ice time,

until it was all fighting
and no hockey.

There's something
going on with my arms.

I can't feel them! Doctor,
I can't feel my anns.

Patient's arms
are now paralyzed.

ANCA panel was negative.
It's not MPA.

Lyme disease could cause paralysis,

if he was hunting,
he'd be exposed to ticks.

No target rash or cardiac involvement.

Roomies with benefits
keeping you up?

Cribbage. I played with Park's Popo.

Is that two separate events?

Her grandmother.
ALS could explain the symptoms.

Sensory involvement rules out ALS.

Okay, now this is interesting.

We'll get back
to the patient in a second.

Your issue is the same as Wilson's.

Except you're haunted
by the {sitter-patter of tiny skanks.

You don't feel guilty about getting Park
thrown out of her home.

You feel guilty about all the women
that you've screwed over.

My mother
needs 1,000 bucks for snow tires.

Park's a friend, Pope's fun.

Paralysis has gone
from his face to his arms,

meaning it's descending,
which is the hallmark of botulism.

So it was something he ate.
How innocuous.

You've overcome your
bias by reversing it.

The only problem is
that being in love with the patient

is just as judgmental as being in hate.

We didn't find any contaminated...

No contaminated food,
I'm not an idiot.

But what if it's not from ingesting,
but from injecting?

He was treated for intractable muscle
spasms by the team's trainers.

Sometimes they use Botox.

We need to start the antitoxin.

The antitoxin could cause anaphylaxis.

We need to test first to confirm.

HOUSE: As if to prove my point.

Last time you said there wasn't
enough time to test

prior to a more dangerous treatment.

It's a different situation, a different
symptom, a different diagnosis.

Different emotion.
Give him the antitoxin.

Anything?

No adverse effects.

Chase let me move in with him
to get away from my grandmother,

then he practically let my grandmother
move in with the both of us.

He's being way more than nice.

(SIGHS)

Then which answer is it?

Chase feels guilty
for pushing you to move out?

He didn't push me.

- Guilt about skanks?
- He loves skanks.

It's not the other option.

There are people that like me,

people who even want to sleep with me.

Some of them are even good looking.

That good looking?

Did you see that?

You're feeling something?

Yeah.

I could give you
crap for making me wait 11 years,

but instead I'm gonna thank you

for not making me wait another 11.

Every little girl wants a pony

until they have to clean up after it.

You think I'm gonna quit on this?
On an 11-year-old?

The only relationship
you haven't quit on has been with me.

Hmm. A needy, truculent narcissist.

I think it's been
the perfect training for parenthood.

That's not even close.

This is the rest of your life.

If you screw this up,
you don't get to run away.

You get to ruin both your lives.

This is a bigger responsibility

than any you've
ever taken on, and screwed up.

I know.

That's why I'm so excited about it.

(DOOR OPENS)

You're really happier doing this than
looking at boobs all day?

Luckily, I get patients like you
every now and again

who let me re-experience the joy.

(COUGHS)

You know the best part of my day

is when I'm sitting in that penalty box

after I beat someone up.

It's the only time I know I'm safe.

Think Lemieux ever felt that way?

I'm not going back.

To hockey?

To enforcing. Whatever that costs.

Good for you.

(PUCK CLATTERS)
Oh!

First goal for the Pocket Rocket.

(BOBBY GASPING)

Bobby?

(MONITOR BEEPING RAPIDLY)

We need a team in here!

He's completely paralyzed
and he tested negative for botulism.

I am now accepting long shots.

Polio?

Some kids were never vaccinated.

Unless they played sports all their
lives and had two physicals a year.

How about MLD?

TAUB: That's a bad fit.

I say that not because
there's no treatment for MLD,

but because it's a bad fit.

His cognitive abilities are unaffected.

Prion disease could explain the waxing
and waning symptoms.

The test for prions is a brain biopsy.

And given his history,
there's got to be brain swelling.

We can't risk drilling into his skull.

Pretty sure we can.

We also could keep talking until we can
find an answer we all can agree on.

What, all of us? Those of us who love
him, those who hate him?

Those who don't give
a crap about him or you?

Or I could just discuss it on my own
with Foreman.

He's not your friend.

I get it, he's a patient.

- I'm not...
- He never had your back.

He didn't insist that
I apologize to you.

He asked me to take you off the case.

Biopsy his brain.

Hey, Dad.

Hey.

Sorry I'm late. Got in a fight
with my mom. She is such a tool.

I'm sure she means well.

She wants to open a reserve in
Costa Rica for rescued birds of prey.

But how serious is she?

From my recollection,
she used to talk about doing a lot.

Yeah, but she bought
plane tickets for Monday.

Well, Costa Rica is beautiful.

And the schools
are supposed to be great.

Oh! I'm not going.
It's her stupid dream, not mine.

Then what will you do?

Uh...

I thought maybe
I could stay with you?

Your place is only three
miles away from my school.

I can bus it every day.

And I do my own laundry.
I keep my room tidy.

Duncan, this...

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
This is very sudden.

I know. I'm sorry.

Please don't send me to the jungle.

If it's okay with your mother,
it's okay with me.

Take me off the case.

I've obviously completely
lost my objectivity.

I'm not helping. I'm not even neutral.

Agreed.

So why shouldn't
I take you off all my cases?

Because you were right.
I hate bullies.

You work for me.

You're not a bully.

Pretty sure I am, dickwad.

I've known a lot of bullies, people who
didn't like me because I'm short,

people who didn't like me
because I'm Jewish.

Yeah, I get it, there's a long list
of reasons not to like you.

You relentlessly mock,
but it's not for self-aggrandizement,

it's because ideas are
bigger than feelings.

At least that's what
I choose to believe.

I also thought you had the side effect
of desensitizing me.

You little hebe.

Here are some ideas for you.

You screwed up. You kept on screwing
up. Everything you said is true.

Except it doesn't mean
you walk away.

You just learn to trust nothing.

Everything you think you feel,
everything you think you know,

you question every call,
play through every whistle.

I just had a light bulb.

Maybe.

You can trust light bulbs.

Stop. It's not prions.

Epstein-Barr gave him mono, it also gave
him Miller Fisher syndrome.

The plasmapheresis
played through the whistle.

We gave it to him for MPA,
but when he got worse, we took him off.

When he got better,
we thought it was the antitoxin,

but it was actually
the plasmapheresis still working.

We had the right treatment,
just the wrong diagnosis.

It was my metaphor
that solved the case.

Put him back on
plasmapheresis. He'll be fine.

Nice save.

Didn't quite make up
for being a sieve the rest of the game.

(DOOR OPENS)

(SWITCH CLICKS)

Ex-girlfriend's baby again?

His mother is moving to Costa Rica,

he asked if he could move in with me...

(LAUGHS)

...and I said yes.

Well, it's only six or seven years.

Unless he can't get into college,

in which case it's more a matter
of your life expectancy.

I said yes, knowing
I'm not remotely ready for that,

knowing he's not ready
to be separated from his mother.

This isn't the act of
a mature, rational adult.

(SIGHS)

I can't do this, House.

You were right.

I have an idea that can make this
entire problem go away.

Yes, I really want to hear
your clever late-term abortion joke.

You were right about everything.
This is life.

It's real. It doesn't just go away.

(SIGHS)

None of that is true.

Hey.

Duncan.

Actually, it's Wendel, one "L".

If you're gonna get pissy, remember,
it was House's idea.

You're an actor?

Five commercials,
and a recurring on Days of our Lives.

You were regretting not having kids,
so I gave you one.

Thereby rendering you regret-free.
It's a priceless gift.

- Get out.
- Well, it's not priceless.

He charges SAG minimum...

Get out!

Chillax, Dad.

Can you do an Australian accent?

(CHUCKLES)

(SIGHS)

I just got the call.

Three-year deal, 2.1 million.

What about the flooded backyard
and pretending to be Lemieux?

That's why I took it.

After all I did to get here,

half a dream is better than nothing.

Maybe my new coach will see
what my Juniors coach didn't.

That'd be nice.

I'm not sleeping with you.

That's a shame.

This is about Popo.

She's not sleeping
with me either, right?

You were jealous of me, my family.

Maybe you've got too much
and I've got too little.

I might sleep with you after all.

(SOUL MUSIC PLAYING)

The woman that I called,
that was really Beth?

Found her on Facebook.

How much did she charge?

Nothing. She's still pissed at you.

Can you pass the bacon?

I thought you liked prosciutto.

Nobody likes prosciutto.