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1
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:21,935
You guys are into
rosemary, right?
2
00:00:21,943 --> 00:00:23,343
The lady who had the baby?
3
00:00:23,350 --> 00:00:24,616
No, the herb.
4
00:00:24,656 --> 00:00:27,090
I'm looking for recipes
for Thanksgiving next week.
5
00:00:27,134 --> 00:00:30,337
Uh-oh, somebody's getting
excited about Thanksgiving.
6
00:00:30,350 --> 00:00:31,617
Mm, maybe.
7
00:00:31,623 --> 00:00:33,156
He's freaking out.
Look at him.
8
00:00:33,163 --> 00:00:34,731
Yeah, he's pulling
his hair out.
9
00:00:34,738 --> 00:00:36,839
Oh, wait, no.
That was like that.
10
00:00:36,848 --> 00:00:38,482
Hmm. Bald joke.
Yeah.
11
00:00:38,489 --> 00:00:39,889
What you doing, Tina?
12
00:00:39,895 --> 00:00:41,496
You didn't finish
your homework last night?
13
00:00:41,503 --> 00:00:43,002
Oh, this isn't
homework.
14
00:00:43,044 --> 00:00:44,877
I'm working on
some erotic holiday fiction.
15
00:00:44,919 --> 00:00:46,386
Hmm. Oh, like the one you wrote
16
00:00:46,393 --> 00:00:48,061
where St. Patrick
got his groove back?
17
00:00:48,068 --> 00:00:49,468
Oh, y-you read that?
Yeah.
18
00:00:49,474 --> 00:00:50,641
I loved that one.
19
00:00:50,647 --> 00:00:51,713
Wait, you read it, too?
20
00:00:51,752 --> 00:00:52,951
I mean, I heard about it.
21
00:00:52,991 --> 00:00:54,758
When I-I was reading it
out loud.
22
00:00:54,766 --> 00:00:57,067
I overheard some of it.
I heard it, too.
23
00:00:57,077 --> 00:00:58,610
What's this one
about, Tina?
24
00:00:58,651 --> 00:01:00,019
Well, this one's
for Thanksgiving,
25
00:01:00,025 --> 00:01:01,492
and it's called
"The Quirky Turkey."
26
00:01:01,499 --> 00:01:02,932
It's about a turkey
who wears glasses.
27
00:01:02,938 --> 00:01:04,606
Also, she has skinny legs
28
00:01:04,613 --> 00:01:06,714
that she may or may not hide
with knee-high socks.
29
00:01:06,723 --> 00:01:08,624
And she feels left out
because she doesn't look
30
00:01:08,632 --> 00:01:09,632
like all the other turkeys.
31
00:01:09,637 --> 00:01:11,437
Is that... about... you?
32
00:01:11,479 --> 00:01:14,081
(nervous chuckle):
No. No. What?
33
00:01:14,092 --> 00:01:15,859
All right, fine,
it might have been inspired
34
00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:17,101
by a real-life event where
35
00:01:17,106 --> 00:01:18,972
a certain word was
thrown around.
36
00:01:19,015 --> 00:01:20,449
Hi, guys.
(chuckles)
37
00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:22,989
Tina, you're so quirky.
38
00:01:23,034 --> 00:01:25,235
She's right, you are.
You are.
39
00:01:25,278 --> 00:01:27,044
You are.
Oh, my God, you really are.
40
00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:28,821
Oh, my God, she's,
like, so quirky.
41
00:01:28,829 --> 00:01:30,963
Wait, is quirky
a good thing?
42
00:01:30,972 --> 00:01:33,574
(laughs) That's such
a quirky thing to ask.
43
00:01:33,585 --> 00:01:35,853
So, yeah, I'm taking
back the "Q" bomb
44
00:01:35,862 --> 00:01:37,529
and mixing in a fun
holiday message.
45
00:01:37,537 --> 00:01:39,038
Well, that doesn't sound
very erotic.
46
00:01:39,044 --> 00:01:40,611
Which is totally fine.
47
00:01:40,618 --> 00:01:42,686
No, some stuff happens
with a pig. Oh.
48
00:01:42,695 --> 00:01:44,829
Some suggestive situations,
implied nudity.
49
00:01:44,838 --> 00:01:46,205
Oh, okay, I got it.
50
00:01:46,211 --> 00:01:47,344
So how's it end?
51
00:01:47,384 --> 00:01:48,918
The not-quirky turkeys realize
52
00:01:48,924 --> 00:01:51,192
that they aren't there
for dinner, they are dinner.
53
00:01:51,202 --> 00:01:53,168
And they get their heads
chopped off on Thanksgiving.
54
00:01:53,212 --> 00:01:55,079
Aw, that's nice.
55
00:01:55,087 --> 00:01:57,088
So, you excited?
56
00:01:57,096 --> 00:01:58,797
My little turkeys
get a long weekend.
57
00:01:58,805 --> 00:02:01,539
(sighs) I'm looking forward
to Thanksgiving,
58
00:02:01,584 --> 00:02:04,286
but I am not looking forward
to the day before Thanksgiving.
59
00:02:04,297 --> 00:02:07,099
We have to sit through one of
Mr. Frond's stupid plays again.
60
00:02:07,111 --> 00:02:09,078
I'm still bored
from last year's play.
61
00:02:09,121 --> 00:02:11,356
(flatly):
? We're thankful for ?
62
00:02:11,365 --> 00:02:14,033
? These foods we're eating ?
63
00:02:14,044 --> 00:02:17,847
? Here's a list of foods
we're eating ?
64
00:02:17,863 --> 00:02:19,864
? A, apples ?
65
00:02:19,872 --> 00:02:21,838
? A, apple pie... ?
66
00:02:21,882 --> 00:02:23,516
Yeah, Mr. Frond's
plays aren't great,
67
00:02:23,523 --> 00:02:25,090
but isn't going
to a play better
68
00:02:25,097 --> 00:02:26,597
than going to
actual school?
69
00:02:26,604 --> 00:02:28,672
I mean, do you
guys like school?
70
00:02:28,680 --> 00:02:29,746
I've never
asked you that.
71
00:02:29,786 --> 00:02:31,053
That's the thing!
72
00:02:31,058 --> 00:02:33,726
The day before Thanksgiving
is supposed to be a half day.
73
00:02:33,738 --> 00:02:35,372
It's on
the school schedule.
74
00:02:35,379 --> 00:02:36,746
And in most Bibles.
75
00:02:36,752 --> 00:02:38,385
At least in the
Ving Rhames version.
76
00:02:38,427 --> 00:02:40,561
(chuckles)
King James, Gene.
77
00:02:40,570 --> 00:02:41,736
Ving Rhames!
78
00:02:43,250 --> 00:02:44,916
(microphone feedback hums)
79
00:02:44,958 --> 00:02:46,259
Lunch announcements.
80
00:02:46,265 --> 00:02:48,833
First up,
from the Women's Issues club,
81
00:02:48,844 --> 00:02:50,978
we have Peter and Zeke.
82
00:02:50,987 --> 00:02:52,453
What's up, ladies!
83
00:02:52,494 --> 00:02:54,228
Our main issue right now
is that
84
00:02:54,236 --> 00:02:56,170
no girls signed up
for this club.
85
00:02:56,178 --> 00:02:58,546
And Peter and I wrote a song
about it. Hit it!
86
00:02:58,556 --> 00:03:01,224
? I don't have a vagina ?
87
00:03:01,235 --> 00:03:03,236
? But I won't stop try'na ?
88
00:03:03,245 --> 00:03:04,713
Come on, girls!
? Help women with their issues ?
89
00:03:04,719 --> 00:03:05,919
Okay, okay, okay.
90
00:03:05,925 --> 00:03:07,192
Come on, girls,
sign up right now!
91
00:03:07,198 --> 00:03:09,466
Okay, okay,
shutting it down.
92
00:03:09,475 --> 00:03:11,041
Shutting it down.
93
00:03:11,082 --> 00:03:13,417
Holy moly, that's it!
94
00:03:13,427 --> 00:03:15,628
What's it?
That's how we get our half day.
95
00:03:15,638 --> 00:03:17,139
Join the Women's
Issues club?
96
00:03:17,145 --> 00:03:20,113
No. What if the day-before-
Thanksgiving play is
97
00:03:20,126 --> 00:03:23,262
so offensive that
it gets shut down?
98
00:03:23,274 --> 00:03:24,941
We'd all go home early.
99
00:03:24,949 --> 00:03:27,451
Why would it be offensive?
It's never offensive.
100
00:03:27,461 --> 00:03:30,196
It's just bad and boring,
like avocado toast.
101
00:03:30,208 --> 00:03:32,041
But what if we could
convince Mr. Frond
102
00:03:32,083 --> 00:03:33,851
to let us do the play,
103
00:03:33,858 --> 00:03:36,593
and then we make it so
horrible and inappropriate
104
00:03:36,605 --> 00:03:38,072
that he shuts it down?
105
00:03:38,078 --> 00:03:40,713
Boom, half day.
A real half day!
106
00:03:40,724 --> 00:03:42,291
But where are we
gonna find a play
107
00:03:42,298 --> 00:03:43,799
that's inappropriate,
offensive
108
00:03:43,806 --> 00:03:45,272
and Thanksgiving-themed?
109
00:03:45,313 --> 00:03:46,713
What's the most
erotic temperature
110
00:03:46,719 --> 00:03:47,885
you could cook a turkey at?
111
00:03:47,925 --> 00:03:50,326
375.
Thanks.
112
00:03:50,337 --> 00:03:51,671
Oh, my God, Tina,
113
00:03:51,677 --> 00:03:54,411
did you, uh, hear anything
we were just talking about?
114
00:03:54,456 --> 00:03:55,690
No.
Great.
115
00:03:55,696 --> 00:03:56,829
How's your
Thanksgiving play going?
116
00:03:56,834 --> 00:03:57,968
Oh, it's not a play.
117
00:03:57,973 --> 00:03:59,138
It is now.
118
00:04:00,619 --> 00:04:03,354
? Peelin' the potatoes,
tryin' not to fart... ?
119
00:04:03,366 --> 00:04:04,900
Thank you, Linda.
120
00:04:04,907 --> 00:04:07,141
? I'll just let out
a little one ?
121
00:04:07,150 --> 00:04:08,751
? It's my
little secret. ?
122
00:04:08,758 --> 00:04:09,890
Oh, my God.
123
00:04:09,930 --> 00:04:11,497
(gasps) Oh, my gosh!
124
00:04:11,504 --> 00:04:13,238
I know. I have to live with you.
125
00:04:13,246 --> 00:04:15,179
No, look at this potato.
126
00:04:15,221 --> 00:04:16,956
Yeah?
It looks like a face.
127
00:04:16,964 --> 00:04:18,297
Oh, okay.
(gasps)
128
00:04:18,303 --> 00:04:20,604
It looks exactly
like my grandfather.
129
00:04:20,614 --> 00:04:22,749
Like, exactly.
It does?
130
00:04:22,758 --> 00:04:24,993
Yeah, my mother's
father, Burt.
131
00:04:25,002 --> 00:04:26,701
This is his
spitting image, look.
132
00:04:26,744 --> 00:04:29,746
I mean, don't all old men
kind of look like potatoes?
133
00:04:29,758 --> 00:04:32,760
It's even got the bumpy thing
on its face in the same spot.
134
00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:34,707
He used to put a nickel
on the top of it,
135
00:04:34,715 --> 00:04:35,914
and then I'd
snatch it off.
136
00:04:35,954 --> 00:04:37,321
Hmm, great.
137
00:04:37,327 --> 00:04:38,795
All right,
let's make fries.
138
00:04:38,801 --> 00:04:40,668
No! Not with Grandpa.
139
00:04:40,676 --> 00:04:42,744
Right.
That'd be crazy.
140
00:04:42,753 --> 00:04:45,021
You know what? I'm gonna
keep him for a little while.
141
00:04:45,031 --> 00:04:47,432
It'll be good for the kids
to get to know my grandpa.
142
00:04:47,442 --> 00:04:49,777
Potato.
Grandpa Potato!
143
00:04:49,787 --> 00:04:51,588
Yeah, Grandpa Potato.
144
00:04:51,596 --> 00:04:53,662
I wasn't trying to name...
Forget it.
145
00:04:53,706 --> 00:04:56,107
MR. FROND:
So you want to put on
146
00:04:56,117 --> 00:04:57,450
the Thanksgiving play
this year?
147
00:04:57,490 --> 00:04:58,624
What can we say?
148
00:04:58,629 --> 00:05:00,896
I mean, you inspire us,
Mr. Frond.
149
00:05:00,940 --> 00:05:03,408
And I should probably
just continue to do that.
150
00:05:03,418 --> 00:05:05,319
This year,
everyone will be reading
151
00:05:05,327 --> 00:05:09,129
from an 88-stanza epic poem
called "The Pilgrims' Picnic."
152
00:05:09,179 --> 00:05:10,980
Oh, it sounds great,
Mr. Frond.
153
00:05:10,988 --> 00:05:12,354
Everyone likes stanzas.
154
00:05:12,394 --> 00:05:13,861
I mean, they kind of do.
155
00:05:13,868 --> 00:05:15,435
Right? Right?
156
00:05:15,476 --> 00:05:16,910
You seem pretty confident.
157
00:05:16,916 --> 00:05:19,084
After all, it's just
your reputation... no biggie.
158
00:05:19,093 --> 00:05:21,627
Sounds like you don't need
our play,
159
00:05:21,672 --> 00:05:22,905
so see ya later.
Uh...
160
00:05:22,911 --> 00:05:26,847
W-Well, just out of curiosity,
what is your play?
161
00:05:26,897 --> 00:05:28,298
It's called The Quirky Turkey.
162
00:05:28,304 --> 00:05:30,270
It's based on an original
short story by me.
163
00:05:30,314 --> 00:05:31,713
Oh. Is it erotic?
164
00:05:31,753 --> 00:05:33,154
Suggestive situations.
165
00:05:33,160 --> 00:05:35,061
I'm cutting back
on the implied nudity.
166
00:05:35,070 --> 00:05:36,936
Okay, not a good start.
167
00:05:36,978 --> 00:05:39,947
Picture this: an underdog story
about a turkey.
168
00:05:39,959 --> 00:05:42,027
An under-turkey.
Who wears glasses.
169
00:05:42,036 --> 00:05:44,970
It's a metaphor for self-esteem
and community.
170
00:05:45,016 --> 00:05:46,649
Ooh, I like that.
171
00:05:46,692 --> 00:05:48,059
Yeah, we knew
you would.
172
00:05:48,065 --> 00:05:49,632
What about music?
My plays always have music.
173
00:05:49,639 --> 00:05:51,339
Makes the whole thing
more musical.
174
00:05:51,380 --> 00:05:54,182
And that's why
we brought Gene on
175
00:05:54,194 --> 00:05:55,594
as our musical director.
176
00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:56,700
You did?
177
00:05:56,705 --> 00:05:59,574
Oh. Yes, now I remember.
178
00:05:59,586 --> 00:06:01,186
You absolutely did.
179
00:06:01,227 --> 00:06:03,394
Mm, I'm still not
entirely convinced.
180
00:06:03,438 --> 00:06:04,939
That's because you have
high standards,
181
00:06:04,945 --> 00:06:06,411
and we love that.
182
00:06:06,452 --> 00:06:10,121
And that's why we need you
to be our executive producer.
183
00:06:10,136 --> 00:06:13,439
Oh. What does
an executive producer do?
184
00:06:13,452 --> 00:06:15,986
Basically you accept awards
and give interviews.
185
00:06:16,031 --> 00:06:18,431
I-I can do that.
I-I'd be great at that.
186
00:06:18,476 --> 00:06:20,043
Yeah, you just say things like,
187
00:06:20,050 --> 00:06:22,350
"They said it would never work,
but look at us now."
188
00:06:22,395 --> 00:06:23,995
Oh, that's good.
189
00:06:24,002 --> 00:06:26,836
What if I said, "This is a real
passion project for me"?
190
00:06:26,883 --> 00:06:28,083
Perfect.
Nice.
191
00:06:28,089 --> 00:06:29,323
Super cool.
192
00:06:29,328 --> 00:06:32,462
So, uh, Mr. Frond,
what do you say?
193
00:06:32,509 --> 00:06:35,278
Belcher children,
you have my permission
194
00:06:35,290 --> 00:06:37,124
to put on
The Quirky Turkey.
195
00:06:37,132 --> 00:06:38,366
ALL:
Yeah!
196
00:06:38,371 --> 00:06:40,393
Let's get to quirk!
197
00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:44,485
Welcome to the open casting call
for the first ever
198
00:06:44,497 --> 00:06:46,364
student-produced
Thanksgiving play,
199
00:06:46,372 --> 00:06:47,940
The Quirky Turkey!
200
00:06:47,947 --> 00:06:50,148
This is your moment
and your stage.
201
00:06:50,157 --> 00:06:51,457
And also your
lunchtime,
202
00:06:51,463 --> 00:06:53,030
so remember to
eat afterwards...
203
00:06:53,037 --> 00:06:55,005
or during your auditions,
like I will be doing.
204
00:06:55,013 --> 00:06:56,713
We're looking for
the best of the best.
205
00:06:56,755 --> 00:06:58,489
(quietly):
Or the best at being worst.
206
00:06:58,496 --> 00:07:00,030
Mm-hmm.
207
00:07:00,037 --> 00:07:01,871
I can almost do the splits.
208
00:07:01,879 --> 00:07:03,246
Almost. Ow.
209
00:07:03,252 --> 00:07:05,319
Not quite. Ow. Ow!
210
00:07:05,362 --> 00:07:07,397
Love it! Welcome aboard.
211
00:07:07,406 --> 00:07:08,806
Look at this, look at that.
212
00:07:08,812 --> 00:07:09,879
Look at this,
look at this.
213
00:07:09,884 --> 00:07:11,618
Look at that.
214
00:07:11,626 --> 00:07:13,459
Look at this, look at that,
look at this, look at this.
215
00:07:13,501 --> 00:07:14,534
Okay, you got the part.
216
00:07:14,573 --> 00:07:15,573
Thank you!
LOUISE: Yup.
217
00:07:15,578 --> 00:07:17,412
You were really good.
Thank you, I know.
218
00:07:17,420 --> 00:07:20,455
The lights are too bright!
Can you turn them down?
219
00:07:20,501 --> 00:07:23,369
Your future's even brighter,
'cause you're in the show!
220
00:07:23,381 --> 00:07:25,649
I just came in here to see
what everybody was doing.
221
00:07:25,659 --> 00:07:27,426
Now I'm on stage.
What's going on?
222
00:07:27,468 --> 00:07:29,535
You got the part!
That's what's going on.
223
00:07:29,578 --> 00:07:30,745
Do what?
224
00:07:30,750 --> 00:07:32,384
? Ave ?
225
00:07:32,391 --> 00:07:36,693
? Maria. ?
226
00:07:36,746 --> 00:07:39,381
Thank you. We'll let you know.
Next!
227
00:07:39,392 --> 00:07:41,126
Wait, Louise,
what are you doing?
228
00:07:41,133 --> 00:07:43,234
She's really good.
Maybe she could play the lead.
229
00:07:43,243 --> 00:07:45,444
Nah, nah, nah. She's not really
what we're looking for.
230
00:07:45,454 --> 00:07:47,622
Plus, we already know who's
playing the Quirky Turkey.
231
00:07:47,631 --> 00:07:49,465
It's you.
What? Really?
232
00:07:49,473 --> 00:07:52,175
You're perfect, Tina. And you
know every word by heart.
233
00:07:52,186 --> 00:07:54,620
And you've captured
its dead-eyed stare.
234
00:07:54,664 --> 00:07:55,931
But I'm the writer, too.
235
00:07:55,937 --> 00:07:57,570
And I haven't even
finished the second act.
236
00:07:57,611 --> 00:07:58,711
Oh, we won't get that far.
237
00:07:58,717 --> 00:07:59,717
What?
Nothing, nothing.
238
00:07:59,721 --> 00:08:00,855
You're doing great.
239
00:08:00,861 --> 00:08:02,228
Gene, how's the music coming?
240
00:08:02,234 --> 00:08:04,434
Psh. Man. So good.
241
00:08:04,477 --> 00:08:05,844
TEDDY:
Oh, yeah.
242
00:08:05,851 --> 00:08:06,884
Looks just like him.
243
00:08:06,923 --> 00:08:07,923
Same cheekbones.
244
00:08:07,927 --> 00:08:09,161
Same steely look.
245
00:08:09,167 --> 00:08:11,101
You see, Bob?
Teddy sees it, too.
246
00:08:11,109 --> 00:08:12,276
It's spooky.
247
00:08:12,282 --> 00:08:13,716
But also comforting.
248
00:08:13,722 --> 00:08:15,356
I miss Grandpa.
249
00:08:15,363 --> 00:08:17,364
Aw, he never got
to meet the kids.
250
00:08:17,373 --> 00:08:18,639
'Cause he died.
251
00:08:18,645 --> 00:08:20,380
Maybe I should make him
a little blanket.
252
00:08:20,387 --> 00:08:23,088
Oh, and a little cup of Jell-O.
He loved Jell-O.
253
00:08:23,100 --> 00:08:25,868
Hey, you could make him a little
plate of mashed potatoes, too.
254
00:08:25,913 --> 00:08:26,879
What are you talking about?
255
00:08:26,918 --> 00:08:28,752
Uh, it-it was a joke.
256
00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:31,294
Like, you know,
old people and...
257
00:08:31,339 --> 00:08:33,874
mashed potatoes, 'cause
they eat mashed potatoes,
258
00:08:33,884 --> 00:08:36,185
and he's a potato.
It's poor taste, Bob.
259
00:08:36,229 --> 00:08:37,296
Yeah, too soon.
260
00:08:37,301 --> 00:08:38,801
I'm gonna go
into the kitchen.
261
00:08:38,808 --> 00:08:40,909
Teddy, keep an eye on
Grandpa Potato today.
262
00:08:40,918 --> 00:08:42,552
Don't let Bob
fry him up.
263
00:08:42,559 --> 00:08:44,260
I'm not gonna fry up
your grandfather.
264
00:08:44,267 --> 00:08:45,767
You threw away
that piece of toast
265
00:08:45,774 --> 00:08:47,509
that looked like
it said "Wow."
266
00:08:47,517 --> 00:08:48,916
That was a dark day.
267
00:08:48,956 --> 00:08:50,656
LOUISE:
All right, folks!
268
00:08:50,698 --> 00:08:52,365
Just a few days
till curtains up.
269
00:08:52,406 --> 00:08:54,574
Let's give them
a show to remember.
270
00:08:54,583 --> 00:08:56,784
Hey, T. How's my
writer-slash-it-girl doing?
271
00:08:56,794 --> 00:08:58,461
I don't know.
I'm not feeling good
272
00:08:58,468 --> 00:09:00,102
about the second act, but...
All right, fantastic.
273
00:09:00,109 --> 00:09:01,375
I can't wait.
Um, okay.
274
00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:03,083
One more time
from the top, Zeke.
275
00:09:03,090 --> 00:09:04,591
Five, six, seven, eight!
276
00:09:04,598 --> 00:09:05,931
(Jimmy Jr. and Zeke grunting)
277
00:09:05,937 --> 00:09:08,872
I wish... I wish I could be
as graceful as you, J-Ju.
278
00:09:08,884 --> 00:09:10,719
But I can't. Too stiff!
279
00:09:10,727 --> 00:09:13,961
(grunts) Oh, God, I'm
going down! Going down!
280
00:09:14,010 --> 00:09:15,676
How are those harmonies coming,
ladies?
281
00:09:15,717 --> 00:09:17,117
Try this on for size.
282
00:09:17,158 --> 00:09:18,492
? Aah. ?
283
00:09:18,498 --> 00:09:19,698
(same note):
? Aah. ?
284
00:09:19,703 --> 00:09:20,736
No, no.
285
00:09:20,741 --> 00:09:22,075
What?
No.
286
00:09:22,081 --> 00:09:23,715
Jocelyn, that's not a harmony.
What?
287
00:09:23,722 --> 00:09:24,955
It's not?
No!
288
00:09:24,961 --> 00:09:26,696
Do you even know
what a harmony is?
289
00:09:26,704 --> 00:09:29,205
A harmony is when
I sing louder than you.
290
00:09:29,215 --> 00:09:30,982
No!
Oh.
291
00:09:30,990 --> 00:09:32,091
I'm dizzy.
292
00:09:32,096 --> 00:09:33,261
Keep up the good work.
293
00:09:33,301 --> 00:09:34,301
So, how's this?
294
00:09:34,306 --> 00:09:35,406
(plays riff)
Good?
295
00:09:35,411 --> 00:09:36,411
I mean, bad?
296
00:09:36,416 --> 00:09:37,816
Bad-good? Good-bad?
297
00:09:37,822 --> 00:09:39,289
I don't know.
I mean, it's bad.
298
00:09:39,296 --> 00:09:41,096
I mean, all of
it's bad, but is it
299
00:09:41,139 --> 00:09:43,206
"shut down" bad?
Is it "get a half day" bad?
300
00:09:43,215 --> 00:09:44,983
I guess something
just happens when you get
301
00:09:44,991 --> 00:09:46,590
in front of the hot lights.
302
00:09:46,632 --> 00:09:48,633
It makes you want to leave
your blood, sweat, tears
303
00:09:48,641 --> 00:09:50,207
and pee out on the stage.
304
00:09:50,248 --> 00:09:53,216
Oh, Gene. My Genie Gene!
305
00:09:53,263 --> 00:09:55,564
You and your words and
your stupid, stupid face.
306
00:09:55,608 --> 00:09:58,543
I think I know how to guarantee
that we get this play shut down!
307
00:09:58,555 --> 00:10:01,289
? ?
308
00:10:17,646 --> 00:10:19,547
? ?
309
00:10:19,555 --> 00:10:22,123
So, Mr. Frond, you're
the executive producer
310
00:10:22,134 --> 00:10:24,369
of the Thanksgiving play,
which premieres tomorrow.
311
00:10:24,378 --> 00:10:26,479
Which I'm in.
As an actor.
312
00:10:26,488 --> 00:10:28,022
And I am, too, also.
313
00:10:28,029 --> 00:10:30,330
Yes.
I am the executive producer.
314
00:10:30,340 --> 00:10:32,208
This was
a real passion project for...
315
00:10:32,216 --> 00:10:34,584
Have you ever met
the people from Bones?
316
00:10:34,594 --> 00:10:36,028
Um, no...
Do you have a limousine?
317
00:10:36,034 --> 00:10:37,200
No. I drive a hatchback.
318
00:10:37,206 --> 00:10:38,440
Gross.
Do...
319
00:10:38,445 --> 00:10:40,079
Do you guys want to talk
about the play?
320
00:10:40,086 --> 00:10:42,054
What play?
Did you have plastic surgery?
321
00:10:42,063 --> 00:10:43,396
Be real.
No.
322
00:10:43,402 --> 00:10:45,136
Do you want
plastic surgery?
323
00:10:45,143 --> 00:10:46,677
No. What? What?
324
00:10:46,684 --> 00:10:48,485
If I were you,
here's where I'd start.
325
00:10:48,493 --> 00:10:49,960
Face. Back.
What?
326
00:10:49,967 --> 00:10:52,267
Front. Breath. (screams)
327
00:10:52,312 --> 00:10:54,480
Okay, we're all set
for tomorrow.
328
00:10:54,489 --> 00:10:57,390
Our sweet, sweet half day
is so close, I can taste it.
329
00:10:57,402 --> 00:10:59,070
It tastes like
victory, and nachos.
330
00:10:59,077 --> 00:11:00,476
So, what's the
plan again?
331
00:11:00,517 --> 00:11:02,684
Ugh, Gene! It all happens
after the first song
332
00:11:02,694 --> 00:11:04,528
when the turkeys get killed.
333
00:11:04,570 --> 00:11:07,172
Backstage, an air compressor
will be attached to hoses,
334
00:11:07,183 --> 00:11:09,217
which will be attached to
bottles full of giblets
335
00:11:09,225 --> 00:11:12,227
and gizzards, which will be
inside the turkey heads.
336
00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:15,576
When I hit this button, the
turkey heads are gonna blow off
337
00:11:15,589 --> 00:11:18,057
and giblets and gizzards
are gonna go everywhere.
338
00:11:18,068 --> 00:11:20,336
Like Carrie meets Gallagher
meets Top Chef
339
00:11:20,345 --> 00:11:21,711
meets Double Dare!
340
00:11:21,752 --> 00:11:23,519
Exactly. All right,
hands in the middle.
341
00:11:23,526 --> 00:11:25,261
"Get Frond to shut down
Tina's horrible play
342
00:11:25,269 --> 00:11:26,969
and get a half day"
on three!
343
00:11:26,976 --> 00:11:28,844
BOTH:
One, two, three...
344
00:11:28,852 --> 00:11:30,219
Get...
Get Frond to shut down...
345
00:11:30,226 --> 00:11:31,859
Louise! Gene! Oh!
Tina! (screams)
346
00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:33,166
H-How long have you been
standing there?
347
00:11:33,206 --> 00:11:34,172
Long enough!
348
00:11:34,211 --> 00:11:35,712
Why is my hand like this?
349
00:11:35,718 --> 00:11:37,485
We don't even do this
in our family.
350
00:11:37,493 --> 00:11:39,460
Do we play sports now, too?
351
00:11:39,503 --> 00:11:41,404
If the sport is lying
and ruining my play,
352
00:11:41,412 --> 00:11:44,548
yeah, I guess you do!
So, I am an athlete!
353
00:11:45,754 --> 00:11:47,503
So, this was
your plan all along?
354
00:11:47,511 --> 00:11:49,270
You're just using me
and my play?
355
00:11:49,312 --> 00:11:51,446
Tina, I'm sorry you had
to find out this way.
356
00:11:51,489 --> 00:11:53,257
Gene, when you said, "Tina,
your play's got the goods,"
357
00:11:53,264 --> 00:11:55,432
and you said "goods"
like it had a "Z" at the end,
358
00:11:55,442 --> 00:11:56,741
that was just a bunch of crap?
359
00:11:56,781 --> 00:11:58,849
I never should have put
that "Z" on the end.
360
00:11:58,858 --> 00:12:01,292
That's my biggest regret
in all of this "mezz."
361
00:12:01,336 --> 00:12:03,537
I came in here to tell
you guys that I finally,
362
00:12:03,546 --> 00:12:05,981
maybe, sort of finished the
big heartfelt musical number
363
00:12:05,991 --> 00:12:07,792
in act two, and now you're
saying that none of that
364
00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:09,567
even matters?
Hey.
365
00:12:09,575 --> 00:12:11,681
Save the drama for the stage,
Tina C. Williams!
366
00:12:11,719 --> 00:12:13,686
Yeah, don't get your pubes
in a tube.
367
00:12:13,695 --> 00:12:15,096
I will get my
pubes in a tube.
368
00:12:15,102 --> 00:12:16,903
We should all get
our pubes in a tube.
369
00:12:16,911 --> 00:12:18,878
'Cause Louise and Gene are
gonna ruin the whole play
370
00:12:18,886 --> 00:12:20,787
by dumping gizzards
and giblets all over the stage
371
00:12:20,795 --> 00:12:22,729
so Mr. Frond will
shut down the play!
372
00:12:22,738 --> 00:12:24,371
(all gasp, murmur)
373
00:12:24,413 --> 00:12:26,414
Okay, okay, just calm down.
374
00:12:26,423 --> 00:12:29,825
There is a completely reasonable
explanation for all of this.
375
00:12:29,838 --> 00:12:31,606
Yeah. You don't care
about the play.
376
00:12:31,614 --> 00:12:33,815
All you care about
is if the play gets shut down
377
00:12:33,824 --> 00:12:35,258
and we get a half day!
378
00:12:35,265 --> 00:12:36,265
ALL:
Oh.
379
00:12:36,270 --> 00:12:37,636
A half day?
I'd be into that.
380
00:12:37,676 --> 00:12:39,743
I'm as angry as you are!
Wait, what?
381
00:12:39,786 --> 00:12:41,954
Yeah, a half day
doesn't sound half bad.
382
00:12:41,963 --> 00:12:44,164
Hell yeah! I wouldn't mind
getting home early, too.
383
00:12:44,174 --> 00:12:47,009
And I want to go to the mall
that day to get leggings.
384
00:12:47,020 --> 00:12:49,155
Yeah, for her legs.
Yes.
385
00:12:49,164 --> 00:12:51,165
Well, Tina, looks like
everyone wants to go
386
00:12:51,174 --> 00:12:53,375
to Shutdown Town except for you.
387
00:12:53,384 --> 00:12:55,085
But we've all
worked so hard.
388
00:12:55,093 --> 00:12:56,892
Have we?
And I've worked hard
389
00:12:56,935 --> 00:12:58,769
getting a whole bunch
of giblets and gizzards.
390
00:12:58,777 --> 00:13:01,078
People don't want to sell
that stuff to a nine-year-old.
391
00:13:01,087 --> 00:13:02,788
Look, it'll all be
worth it tomorrow
392
00:13:02,796 --> 00:13:04,997
when you're sitting
on the couch, back in your PJs
393
00:13:05,006 --> 00:13:08,008
at 11:00 a.m., staring down
a four-day weekend.
394
00:13:08,021 --> 00:13:09,220
So, what do you say?
395
00:13:09,260 --> 00:13:11,126
You ready to tank
this turkey?
396
00:13:11,169 --> 00:13:12,669
Um, I guess.
397
00:13:12,676 --> 00:13:14,576
Yeah. If everyone else
wants to do it.
398
00:13:14,618 --> 00:13:16,186
All right,
so it's settled.
399
00:13:16,193 --> 00:13:17,726
The show must go off!
400
00:13:17,733 --> 00:13:19,066
See everyone tomorrow.
401
00:13:20,481 --> 00:13:21,813
LINDA:
? Just doin' something ?
402
00:13:21,854 --> 00:13:24,689
? Over here. ?
403
00:13:24,700 --> 00:13:27,168
Uh, Lin.
What are you doing?
404
00:13:27,179 --> 00:13:28,712
What? Oh, um, nothing.
405
00:13:28,753 --> 00:13:31,955
Are you putting Grandpa Potato
in your bag
406
00:13:31,968 --> 00:13:33,401
to bring to school?
407
00:13:33,441 --> 00:13:35,042
What? No!
408
00:13:35,049 --> 00:13:36,416
That would be ridiculous.
409
00:13:36,423 --> 00:13:37,924
(chuckles):
It's a potato.
410
00:13:37,930 --> 00:13:39,263
I'm a grown woman. Hello!
411
00:13:39,269 --> 00:13:40,603
He can't even breathe in there.
412
00:13:40,609 --> 00:13:42,176
Okay, fine. You got me.
413
00:13:42,183 --> 00:13:44,351
I-I just wanted him
to see the kids' show.
414
00:13:44,361 --> 00:13:46,295
Lin, don't bring
the potato.
415
00:13:46,303 --> 00:13:48,304
Please. I'm-I'm begging you.
416
00:13:48,313 --> 00:13:50,982
I need to know you're okay.
All right.
417
00:13:50,993 --> 00:13:52,793
He'll just stay here
and he'll never see
418
00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:54,067
the kids perform.
It's fine.
419
00:13:54,073 --> 00:13:55,207
Look alive!
420
00:13:55,213 --> 00:13:56,980
Talent's arriving
for breakfast.
421
00:13:56,987 --> 00:13:58,655
Morning, Grandpa Potato.
Morning, Grandpa Potato.
422
00:13:58,663 --> 00:14:01,364
There they are!
Look at my little stars.
423
00:14:01,375 --> 00:14:03,076
I gave birth to
a theater company.
424
00:14:03,083 --> 00:14:04,549
I love it.
Pancakes, please.
425
00:14:04,590 --> 00:14:06,358
Wait, make that waffles.
Scratch that.
426
00:14:06,366 --> 00:14:08,367
Make it pancake mix
in a waffle maker.
427
00:14:08,375 --> 00:14:10,309
That's what waffles are, Gene.
428
00:14:10,318 --> 00:14:11,851
They're...
that's pancakes in a...
429
00:14:11,891 --> 00:14:13,125
I don't want a conversation.
430
00:14:13,131 --> 00:14:14,864
I want pancakes
in the shape of waffles.
431
00:14:14,906 --> 00:14:16,941
Okay, fine.
Big day.
432
00:14:16,950 --> 00:14:19,317
I can't wait to see your
Thanksgiving play.
433
00:14:19,361 --> 00:14:21,628
Oh, it's gonna be
a real showstopper, Mom.
434
00:14:21,671 --> 00:14:22,938
I bet it is.
435
00:14:22,944 --> 00:14:24,444
Are you excited, Tina?
436
00:14:24,485 --> 00:14:25,886
Um, yeah, totally.
437
00:14:25,892 --> 00:14:28,360
For sure, totally.
Of course she is!
438
00:14:28,371 --> 00:14:30,504
Look at her, she can
barely contain herself.
439
00:14:30,548 --> 00:14:31,848
We're really proud
of you kids.
440
00:14:31,854 --> 00:14:34,688
Pancakes and/or waffles
speak louder than words, Father!
441
00:14:34,734 --> 00:14:36,301
(piano intro plays)
442
00:14:36,342 --> 00:14:38,743
Hello, friends and families.
443
00:14:38,753 --> 00:14:40,955
Before we begin,
I'd like to introduce a man
444
00:14:40,964 --> 00:14:43,098
who made all of this possible.
445
00:14:43,107 --> 00:14:45,609
Give it up for our
executive producer, Mr. Frond!
446
00:14:45,620 --> 00:14:46,887
(piano plays two notes)
447
00:14:46,893 --> 00:14:48,393
Every once in a while...
448
00:14:48,399 --> 00:14:50,467
Great speech, Mr. Frond.
(piano plays scale)
449
00:14:50,476 --> 00:14:52,010
Thank you.
Okay.
450
00:14:52,017 --> 00:14:55,319
And without further ado,
sit back and enjoy
451
00:14:55,332 --> 00:14:57,433
"The Quirky Turkey!"
452
00:14:57,442 --> 00:14:58,975
(applause)
453
00:14:59,016 --> 00:15:00,517
All right, places, people.
454
00:15:00,524 --> 00:15:02,023
How you doing, girl?
Um, not great.
455
00:15:02,065 --> 00:15:04,498
I feel like
my soul has diarrhea.
456
00:15:04,543 --> 00:15:05,409
Use it.
457
00:15:05,413 --> 00:15:06,380
What?
Use it!
458
00:15:06,385 --> 00:15:07,852
Let's go, folks!
459
00:15:07,859 --> 00:15:09,593
It's showtime.
Hit it, Gene.
460
00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:11,333
Half day, here we come.
(keyboard plays drumroll)
461
00:15:11,376 --> 00:15:12,675
(piano plays intro)
462
00:15:12,715 --> 00:15:15,050
(off-key):
? We're going to dinner ?
463
00:15:15,060 --> 00:15:17,093
? We're going
to dinner ?
464
00:15:17,137 --> 00:15:20,072
Look at all of us plump
and popular turkeys.
465
00:15:20,084 --> 00:15:22,786
We're gonna make great
Thanksgiving dinner guests.
466
00:15:22,797 --> 00:15:24,497
Yeah, because
we're conventionally
467
00:15:24,504 --> 00:15:26,305
attractive turkeys.
468
00:15:26,313 --> 00:15:28,948
Not like that
quirky turkey over there.
469
00:15:28,959 --> 00:15:30,660
Hi.
Ew!
470
00:15:30,668 --> 00:15:33,203
Don't talk to us!
Yeah, go away.
471
00:15:33,213 --> 00:15:34,680
We've been invited
to special dinners
472
00:15:34,687 --> 00:15:35,987
as special guests.
473
00:15:35,993 --> 00:15:37,327
Why do you think humans
474
00:15:37,333 --> 00:15:39,834
want to eat with turkeys
this year?
475
00:15:39,844 --> 00:15:41,378
I wouldn't read into it.
476
00:15:41,385 --> 00:15:43,019
Yeah, you're right.
477
00:15:43,026 --> 00:15:45,194
(off-key):
? We're going to dinner ?
478
00:15:45,204 --> 00:15:47,205
? We're going
to dinner ?
479
00:15:47,213 --> 00:15:52,250
? We're so glad that we're
not not going to dinner! ?
480
00:15:52,270 --> 00:15:55,205
Like that quirky turkey, ew.
481
00:15:55,251 --> 00:15:57,252
(quietly): Linda, look
who came after all.
482
00:15:57,261 --> 00:15:59,429
(gasps)
Grandpa Potato!
483
00:15:59,438 --> 00:16:01,405
I felt bad
that I talked you out of it,
484
00:16:01,414 --> 00:16:02,648
so, here.
485
00:16:02,653 --> 00:16:05,088
Aw, Bobby.
(clears throat)
486
00:16:05,099 --> 00:16:07,767
I'm just holding him up
so he could see his grandkids.
487
00:16:07,778 --> 00:16:09,212
Is he blocking you?
Uh, yeah.
488
00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:10,718
Thanks, you're a doll.
It's a potato
489
00:16:10,725 --> 00:16:12,458
that looks
like her grandfather.
490
00:16:12,500 --> 00:16:14,067
I don't know, it doesn't look
like a face to me.
491
00:16:14,074 --> 00:16:16,075
Well, it's dark in
here, so... but it does.
492
00:16:16,084 --> 00:16:18,018
Okay, but I still...
Lin, show him a picture
493
00:16:18,026 --> 00:16:19,693
of your grandfather. Shh, keep it down.
He's trying to watch the show.
494
00:16:19,735 --> 00:16:23,037
? Why can't I be like
the other turkeys? ?
495
00:16:23,050 --> 00:16:25,952
? They're all off having fun ?
496
00:16:25,964 --> 00:16:29,499
? Is it 'cause I'm scrawny
and have glasses ?
497
00:16:29,548 --> 00:16:31,883
? And rather smallish buns? ?
498
00:16:31,893 --> 00:16:33,092
? There he is ?
499
00:16:33,132 --> 00:16:34,632
? My crush ?
500
00:16:34,639 --> 00:16:36,473
? The most handsome
pig, what a rush ?
501
00:16:36,481 --> 00:16:38,282
(keyboard plays drumroll)
Yeah! Ow, ow.
502
00:16:38,290 --> 00:16:41,025
? Man, oh, man,
I dig that pig ?
503
00:16:41,036 --> 00:16:42,170
Hey, turkey.
504
00:16:42,175 --> 00:16:43,574
I'm too quirky;
don't look at me!
505
00:16:43,615 --> 00:16:44,615
Okay.
506
00:16:44,620 --> 00:16:46,187
(panting)
507
00:16:46,228 --> 00:16:48,296
Time for the grand finale.
508
00:16:48,305 --> 00:16:50,739
Air compressor,
this is your big debut.
509
00:16:50,749 --> 00:16:52,517
(quiet electrical hum)
510
00:16:52,524 --> 00:16:54,158
Uh-oh!
511
00:16:54,166 --> 00:16:56,734
I'm starting to suspect
we're not just going to dinner,
512
00:16:56,744 --> 00:16:58,344
I think we are the dinner!
513
00:16:58,386 --> 00:17:00,287
? I thought I was a guest ?
514
00:17:00,295 --> 00:17:02,228
? But they just want me
for my breast ?
515
00:17:02,271 --> 00:17:03,905
? Much to my surprise ?
516
00:17:03,912 --> 00:17:05,878
? They're all staring
at my thighs ?
517
00:17:05,922 --> 00:17:08,056
? They all look starving ?
518
00:17:08,065 --> 00:17:10,632
? And ready for the carving ?
519
00:17:10,678 --> 00:17:13,145
? Why don't they eat
a pig instead? ?
520
00:17:13,189 --> 00:17:17,793
? Oh, my God, they're
chopping off my head ?
521
00:17:17,812 --> 00:17:21,013
(off-key harmony):
? Head. ?
522
00:17:23,204 --> 00:17:25,238
(crowd screaming)
523
00:17:25,247 --> 00:17:27,347
Oh, my God!
Oh, my face!
524
00:17:27,391 --> 00:17:28,891
Oh, wow.
525
00:17:28,898 --> 00:17:31,266
This doesn't feel so good.
526
00:17:31,276 --> 00:17:32,642
Louise?
527
00:17:32,683 --> 00:17:33,848
(chuckles nervously)
528
00:17:33,889 --> 00:17:35,755
This isn't gonna scar anyone
529
00:17:35,798 --> 00:17:37,197
for life, right?
530
00:17:37,237 --> 00:17:40,039
(gagging)
I'm gonna throw up.
531
00:17:40,051 --> 00:17:41,452
I'm doing it!
532
00:17:41,458 --> 00:17:43,260
Oh, God, I'm throwing up!
(retching)
533
00:17:45,511 --> 00:17:47,310
(crowd murmuring)
LOUISE: Okay,
534
00:17:47,353 --> 00:17:49,153
this might've been a mistake.
535
00:17:49,195 --> 00:17:51,429
Shutting this down.
536
00:17:51,473 --> 00:17:53,340
It seemed like
a good idea.
537
00:17:53,348 --> 00:17:56,250
Tina, I'm so sorry. You put
in all this work, and now I...
538
00:17:56,262 --> 00:17:58,396
Louise, we got to
keep doing the show.
539
00:17:58,439 --> 00:17:59,872
Excuse me?
540
00:17:59,913 --> 00:18:01,047
The musical
was missing something.
541
00:18:01,052 --> 00:18:02,552
And now I know what it is.
542
00:18:02,559 --> 00:18:05,093
Believe it or not, this actually
makes it work better.
543
00:18:05,138 --> 00:18:06,605
Look, Mr. Frond is coming
544
00:18:06,612 --> 00:18:08,713
through that door at any second
to shut us down,
545
00:18:08,722 --> 00:18:10,222
which is what
I thought I wanted.
546
00:18:10,229 --> 00:18:11,897
But I was wrong.
547
00:18:11,904 --> 00:18:13,870
I'm sorry, we're not gonna be
able to do the second act.
548
00:18:13,914 --> 00:18:15,614
Louise?
There he is.
549
00:18:15,621 --> 00:18:17,989
You need to stop him.
I'm going out there.
550
00:18:17,999 --> 00:18:20,034
Gene, we're gonna
do the next number.
551
00:18:20,043 --> 00:18:21,442
Uh... we are?
552
00:18:21,482 --> 00:18:23,150
All right,
close that curtain, Louise.
553
00:18:23,157 --> 00:18:24,891
You are in big trouble.
554
00:18:24,899 --> 00:18:26,399
Yup, right, yes,
totally understand.
555
00:18:26,406 --> 00:18:28,273
But just hear me out.
556
00:18:28,315 --> 00:18:30,516
I don't know what that crazy
turkey's doing out there,
557
00:18:30,525 --> 00:18:33,627
but if there's any chance
to save the show, she's it.
558
00:18:33,674 --> 00:18:35,340
I... (sighs)
559
00:18:35,383 --> 00:18:37,983
? I used to spend my time ?
560
00:18:38,029 --> 00:18:40,396
? Wishing for a plump behind ?
561
00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:43,408
? But now those birds
with perfect bodies ?
562
00:18:43,454 --> 00:18:45,554
? Are decapitated hotties ?
563
00:18:45,597 --> 00:18:48,465
? I wished I was someone else ?
564
00:18:48,511 --> 00:18:52,547
? But it takes guts
to be yourself ?
565
00:18:52,597 --> 00:18:55,165
Oh.
? Now I've got the guts ?
566
00:18:55,176 --> 00:18:57,177
? I've got the glory ?
567
00:18:57,186 --> 00:18:59,221
? I like my scrawny stuff ?
568
00:18:59,230 --> 00:19:01,398
? And I'm here
to tell my story ?
569
00:19:01,407 --> 00:19:03,141
? I've got the guts ?
570
00:19:03,148 --> 00:19:06,717
? Do you have the guts
to be yourself? ?
571
00:19:06,732 --> 00:19:08,232
You've got the guts! (grunts)
572
00:19:08,238 --> 00:19:09,172
(chuckles)
573
00:19:09,177 --> 00:19:10,544
And you! (grunts)
574
00:19:10,550 --> 00:19:11,882
And you. (soft grunt)
575
00:19:11,923 --> 00:19:13,290
I got the guts!
576
00:19:13,297 --> 00:19:14,663
That's our Tina!
577
00:19:14,703 --> 00:19:17,003
You've got the guts, and you!
(grunts)
578
00:19:17,048 --> 00:19:18,648
And you and you!
579
00:19:18,655 --> 00:19:20,255
And you and
you and you!
580
00:19:20,296 --> 00:19:22,097
Tina, you son of a bitch.
581
00:19:22,105 --> 00:19:24,140
(crying): I'm so proud
to be part of this.
582
00:19:24,149 --> 00:19:25,114
Oh, God.
583
00:19:25,153 --> 00:19:26,920
She's so quirky.
584
00:19:26,928 --> 00:19:28,162
I'm quirky, too, right?
585
00:19:28,168 --> 00:19:29,600
You wish.
What?!
586
00:19:29,641 --> 00:19:32,109
? I'm happy to be who I am ?
587
00:19:32,120 --> 00:19:37,057
? Now I'm gonna see about a pig
before he becomes a ham! ?
588
00:19:37,076 --> 00:19:38,677
Hey, quirky turkey.
589
00:19:38,684 --> 00:19:41,219
I've been looking
for you everywhere.
590
00:19:41,230 --> 00:19:42,697
Shut your snout
and kiss me.
591
00:19:42,704 --> 00:19:45,538
(both moaning)
592
00:19:45,583 --> 00:19:46,716
Oh, oh, boy.
593
00:19:46,756 --> 00:19:48,890
Okay, maybe now
we shut it down.
594
00:19:48,899 --> 00:19:50,467
Do you think they'll make us
clean this up?
595
00:19:50,474 --> 00:19:51,807
Yeah, I think they will.
596
00:19:51,813 --> 00:19:53,581
We're not gonna get
that half day, are we?
597
00:19:53,589 --> 00:19:54,554
Nope.
598
00:19:54,593 --> 00:19:56,359
Worth it.
Totally worth it.
599
00:19:56,402 --> 00:20:00,471
? We're going to dinner,
we're going to dinner ?
600
00:20:00,488 --> 00:20:04,191
? Look at all these plump
and popular turkeys ?
601
00:20:04,206 --> 00:20:05,606
? We're gonna make ?
602
00:20:05,612 --> 00:20:08,281
? Great Thanksgiving
dinner guests ?
603
00:20:08,292 --> 00:20:10,393
? Yeah, because
we're conventionally ?
604
00:20:10,402 --> 00:20:12,102
? Attractive turkeys ?
605
00:20:12,144 --> 00:20:15,011
? Not like that
quirky turkey over there ?
606
00:20:15,058 --> 00:20:17,393
? Hi ?
? Ew, don't talk to us ?
607
00:20:17,402 --> 00:20:19,770
? Yeah, go away,
we've been invited ?
608
00:20:19,780 --> 00:20:22,881
? To special dinners
as special guests ?
609
00:20:22,928 --> 00:20:26,530
? We're going to dinner,
we're going to dinner ?
610
00:20:26,579 --> 00:20:28,580
? We're so glad
that we're not not ?
611
00:20:28,589 --> 00:20:30,123
? Going to dinner ?
612
00:20:30,129 --> 00:20:32,109
? Like that quirky turkey, ew ?
613
00:20:32,139 --> 00:20:36,208
? Why can't I be
like the other turkeys? ?
614
00:20:36,259 --> 00:20:38,292
? They're all out having fun ?
615
00:20:38,335 --> 00:20:40,769
? Is it 'cause I'm scrawny
and have glasses ?
616
00:20:40,780 --> 00:20:43,181
? And rather smallish buns? ?
617
00:20:43,225 --> 00:20:45,492
? There he is, my crush ?
618
00:20:45,537 --> 00:20:47,503
? The most handsome pig ?
619
00:20:47,546 --> 00:20:48,978
? What a rush ?
Yeah!
620
00:20:49,020 --> 00:20:51,487
? Man, oh, man, I dig that pig ?
621
00:20:51,531 --> 00:20:53,365
? I thought I was a guest,
but they just want me ?
622
00:20:53,373 --> 00:20:55,307
? For my breast ?
623
00:20:55,350 --> 00:20:56,784
? Much to my surprise ?
624
00:20:56,790 --> 00:20:58,557
? They're all staring
at my thighs ?
625
00:20:58,565 --> 00:21:00,299
? They all look starving ?
626
00:21:00,306 --> 00:21:01,873
? And ready for the carving ?
627
00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:03,915
? Why don't they eat
a pig instead? ?
628
00:21:03,924 --> 00:21:05,790
? Oh, God, they're chopping off
my head ?
629
00:21:05,833 --> 00:21:08,434
(all scream)
630
00:21:08,445 --> 00:21:10,413
? I used to spend my time ?
631
00:21:10,421 --> 00:21:12,689
? Wishing for a plump behind ?
632
00:21:12,699 --> 00:21:15,634
? But now those birds
with perfect bodies ?
633
00:21:15,646 --> 00:21:17,814
? Are decapitated hotties ?
634
00:21:17,823 --> 00:21:20,224
? I wished I was someone else ?
635
00:21:20,234 --> 00:21:23,403
? But it takes guts
to be yourself ?
636
00:21:23,416 --> 00:21:26,951
? Now I've got the guts,
I've got the glory ?
637
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:28,467
? I like my scrawny... ?
638
00:21:28,517 --> 00:21:33,067
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