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1
00:00:04,977 --> 00:00:06,580
Violet, honey?
2
00:00:06,647 --> 00:00:07,916
Your door is stuck.
3
00:00:07,983 --> 00:00:09,061
Probably swollen from the heat.
4
00:00:09,085 --> 00:00:10,622
I'll get it.
(grunts)
5
00:00:10,688 --> 00:00:12,358
Dang, it's real stuck.
6
00:00:12,424 --> 00:00:14,428
Here, let me try.
7
00:00:15,698 --> 00:00:16,901
Good Lord, mother!
8
00:00:16,967 --> 00:00:18,370
VIOLET:
It's not stuck.
9
00:00:18,436 --> 00:00:21,744
It's barricaded with a case
of Glucerna diabetes bars.
10
00:00:21,810 --> 00:00:24,315
Vi, why on earth
would you barricade yourself
11
00:00:24,382 --> 00:00:26,152
in your room
with my blood sugar snacks?
12
00:00:26,219 --> 00:00:28,591
VIOLET:
It's called privacy. Bye.
13
00:00:28,658 --> 00:00:30,962
(gasps)
She's entered the privacy phase.
14
00:00:31,029 --> 00:00:32,599
The rebellion has
started, Jenny.
15
00:00:32,666 --> 00:00:34,101
Violet is lost to us!
16
00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:35,505
Oh, don't be so dramatic.
17
00:00:35,572 --> 00:00:36,692
She's still our little girl.
18
00:00:36,740 --> 00:00:37,776
Watch this.
19
00:00:37,842 --> 00:00:40,848
Vi, 90‐Day Beyoncé is coming on.
20
00:00:40,915 --> 00:00:42,484
Fave garbage‐y reality show.
21
00:00:42,552 --> 00:00:44,188
Want to watch ironically...
22
00:00:44,255 --> 00:00:45,825
(quietly):
while I watch unironically?
23
00:00:45,892 --> 00:00:47,094
VIOLET:
Nope, bye.
24
00:00:47,161 --> 00:00:48,196
See?
25
00:00:48,263 --> 00:00:49,198
I'm not worried.
26
00:00:49,265 --> 00:00:50,535
She's just a teenager now.
27
00:00:50,602 --> 00:00:52,204
Aren't you even
a little bit curious
28
00:00:52,271 --> 00:00:53,373
what she's doing in there?
29
00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:54,543
She's a good girl.
30
00:00:54,610 --> 00:00:55,778
She's‐‐ oof,
31
00:00:55,845 --> 00:00:57,716
probably shouldn't say it‐‐
but a nerd.
32
00:00:57,782 --> 00:00:59,553
And nerds never
get up to anything.
33
00:00:59,620 --> 00:01:00,955
It's a mirage!
34
00:01:01,022 --> 00:01:02,257
A smoke screen!
35
00:01:02,324 --> 00:01:03,870
At her age, you tried
to play the angel,
36
00:01:03,894 --> 00:01:05,330
but I was on to you.
37
00:01:05,397 --> 00:01:07,902
(scoffs)
There was nothing to be on to.
38
00:01:07,969 --> 00:01:09,906
(engine revving)
39
00:01:09,973 --> 00:01:11,710
♪ ♪
40
00:01:13,714 --> 00:01:17,087
Ready to go to Jacksonville?
41
00:01:17,154 --> 00:01:19,760
‐(tires screech) ‐(whooping)
42
00:01:19,826 --> 00:01:22,364
Jenny, I am so glad
you dumped that old guy.
43
00:01:22,431 --> 00:01:24,035
I didn't. He dumped me.
44
00:01:24,101 --> 00:01:25,103
What?!
45
00:01:25,170 --> 00:01:26,774
He dumped you?!
46
00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:28,476
I'm gonna dump him!
47
00:01:28,544 --> 00:01:30,147
(grunts)
48
00:01:30,213 --> 00:01:32,351
Eight ball, corner pocket.
49
00:01:32,418 --> 00:01:34,355
Brenda, what did you do?
50
00:01:34,422 --> 00:01:35,892
I did what I had to do.
51
00:01:35,958 --> 00:01:37,461
I killed a man who hurt you.
52
00:01:37,529 --> 00:01:38,798
The hell you did!
53
00:01:38,864 --> 00:01:41,035
All you did was beat me
with a Snapple bottle!
54
00:01:41,102 --> 00:01:43,039
- He's alive!
- Run!
55
00:01:43,106 --> 00:01:44,041
Oh, Lord!
56
00:01:44,108 --> 00:01:45,578
You almost dug yourself
57
00:01:45,645 --> 00:01:47,549
an early grave
and dragged me in with you.
58
00:01:47,615 --> 00:01:49,519
Oh, like you were
a perfect child.
59
00:01:49,586 --> 00:01:50,588
I was.
60
00:01:50,655 --> 00:01:51,924
All I did was go
61
00:01:51,990 --> 00:01:53,961
to Sunday school on the regular.
62
00:01:55,565 --> 00:01:57,836
♪ ♪
63
00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:01,209
(brakes squeal, hiss)
64
00:02:01,275 --> 00:02:02,344
You legal?
65
00:02:02,411 --> 00:02:04,014
I am in Oklahoma.
66
00:02:04,081 --> 00:02:05,618
Oklahoma it is.
67
00:02:05,685 --> 00:02:08,189
(horn honks)
68
00:02:08,256 --> 00:02:09,793
- We've got to get in there.
- I know!
69
00:02:09,860 --> 00:02:11,162
(grunts)
70
00:02:11,229 --> 00:02:12,464
Not like that!
71
00:02:12,532 --> 00:02:14,536
♪ ♪
72
00:02:42,525 --> 00:02:45,531
This secretive behavior is
how it all starts.
73
00:02:45,598 --> 00:02:47,702
Locking the door,
not opening the door,
74
00:02:47,769 --> 00:02:50,307
saying sarcastic things
through the door.
75
00:02:50,373 --> 00:02:52,712
Teen sarcasm is
just a slippery slope
76
00:02:52,779 --> 00:02:54,215
to teen pregnancy.
77
00:02:54,281 --> 00:02:55,450
Y'all need to stop.
78
00:02:55,518 --> 00:02:56,820
I've seen this before.
79
00:02:56,887 --> 00:02:58,891
You get fixated on something
and spiral out
80
00:02:58,958 --> 00:03:01,162
to the worst
possible conclusion.
81
00:03:01,229 --> 00:03:03,399
(both scoffing, muttering)
82
00:03:08,611 --> 00:03:10,548
Why does she need her backpack?
83
00:03:10,615 --> 00:03:12,852
- It's summer.
- (gasps)
84
00:03:12,919 --> 00:03:13,954
(thunder rumbles)
85
00:03:14,021 --> 00:03:15,023
(both gasp)
86
00:03:15,090 --> 00:03:16,860
- Wine?
- Menthols?
87
00:03:16,927 --> 00:03:19,298
And what the hell is this,
Violet?
88
00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:20,635
It's called a switchblade.
89
00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:22,137
Google it.
90
00:03:22,204 --> 00:03:24,643
(both moaning)
91
00:03:24,709 --> 00:03:28,316
Oh, no, my baby's
doing knife crimes.
92
00:03:28,383 --> 00:03:31,489
I'm stepping away, so I don't
get caught up in some bullcrap.
93
00:03:31,556 --> 00:03:33,794
Got to get back
to fixing your roof.
94
00:03:35,163 --> 00:03:36,499
All right.
95
00:03:36,566 --> 00:03:38,837
So, uh, here I go.
96
00:03:38,904 --> 00:03:40,841
About to fix your entire roof.
97
00:03:40,908 --> 00:03:42,679
- Mm, okay.
- That's great, you're an angel.
98
00:03:42,745 --> 00:03:44,348
Blessed be, our hero.
99
00:03:44,415 --> 00:03:46,720
I'll take that, I guess.
100
00:03:48,089 --> 00:03:49,325
Hey, it's Violet.
101
00:03:49,391 --> 00:03:50,570
I'm gonna be
a couple minutes late.
102
00:03:50,594 --> 00:03:52,598
I'll hurry. Okay!
103
00:03:52,665 --> 00:03:54,836
Sorry, it‐it won't happen again.
104
00:03:54,903 --> 00:03:56,439
Who's she talking to
on that phone?
105
00:03:56,506 --> 00:03:58,510
Kids don't talk to each other
on the phone anymore.
106
00:03:58,577 --> 00:04:00,848
She's obviously talking
to a grown man!
107
00:04:02,652 --> 00:04:04,021
(both shout)
108
00:04:05,123 --> 00:04:06,492
Wayne! Wayne!
109
00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:08,664
We need you to build a peephole
so we can spy on Vi.
110
00:04:08,731 --> 00:04:10,935
I'm up here fixing holes,
not making them.
111
00:04:11,002 --> 00:04:12,772
- Oh, please?
- Pretty please?
112
00:04:12,839 --> 00:04:15,778
No! Now y'all get
down from here.
113
00:04:15,845 --> 00:04:17,949
(both grunting)
114
00:04:18,016 --> 00:04:19,418
Oh, uh‐oh, I'm sliding, y'all!
115
00:04:19,485 --> 00:04:20,654
(grunts, gasps)
116
00:04:20,721 --> 00:04:22,090
Will you two knock it off?
117
00:04:22,157 --> 00:04:23,660
Don't claw the shingles.
118
00:04:23,727 --> 00:04:26,666
Well, there goes five dollars.
119
00:04:26,733 --> 00:04:27,835
Ten.
120
00:04:27,902 --> 00:04:29,338
Let go of my ankle!
121
00:04:29,405 --> 00:04:31,342
Don't kick your mother,
you monster.
122
00:04:31,409 --> 00:04:34,214
- (grunting)
- 15... $20.
123
00:04:34,281 --> 00:04:36,887
- Wayne, save us!
- $85.
124
00:04:36,953 --> 00:04:38,957
We're gonna die!
125
00:04:39,024 --> 00:04:42,532
Will you two just
slightly extend your legs?
126
00:04:44,101 --> 00:04:46,138
‐(Jenny chuckles) ‐(Wayne sighs)
127
00:04:46,205 --> 00:04:48,409
(gasps)
Wait, what the hell?
128
00:04:48,476 --> 00:04:49,846
(gasps)
129
00:04:49,913 --> 00:04:52,017
Bobbie Nell,
why are you filming us?!
130
00:04:52,084 --> 00:04:53,654
I'm just gathering evidence.
131
00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:57,695
All this roof racket is driving
my free‐range cockatiel bonkers.
132
00:04:57,762 --> 00:04:59,799
(squawking)
133
00:05:01,703 --> 00:05:04,976
Bobbie Nell, that bird just
wants to get out of your house.
134
00:05:05,043 --> 00:05:07,114
He's trapped
in a bird nightmare.
135
00:05:07,180 --> 00:05:08,483
You're all nightmares!
136
00:05:08,550 --> 00:05:11,623
And I'm about to be your
nightmare and your daymare.
137
00:05:18,770 --> 00:05:20,206
If Violet ever
caught us snooping,
138
00:05:20,273 --> 00:05:21,810
she would never forgive us.
139
00:05:21,877 --> 00:05:23,479
Did you find anything?
140
00:05:23,547 --> 00:05:25,150
No, but we'd better
find out soon
141
00:05:25,216 --> 00:05:27,320
before she ends up
dead in a ditch.
142
00:05:27,387 --> 00:05:28,657
Good Lord, Mother.
143
00:05:28,724 --> 00:05:30,528
It's just an expression, Jenny.
144
00:05:30,594 --> 00:05:32,865
And expression that some
poor mom came up with
145
00:05:32,932 --> 00:05:35,003
when she found her daughter
dead in a ditch.
146
00:05:35,069 --> 00:05:37,007
- Oh, Lord!
- We got to find out
147
00:05:37,073 --> 00:05:38,610
what the hell she's up to.
148
00:05:38,677 --> 00:05:41,917
Tomorrow we are gonna
put a tail on her.
149
00:05:43,754 --> 00:05:45,691
See you in court, Wayne.
150
00:05:45,758 --> 00:05:48,129
What? You're gonna sue me
151
00:05:48,196 --> 00:05:51,970
for $4,999?!
152
00:05:52,037 --> 00:05:55,043
For me and my bird's
emotional distress.
153
00:05:55,109 --> 00:05:57,815
See you this afternoon,
turd lover.
154
00:05:57,882 --> 00:05:59,218
- What?
- Turd lover.
155
00:05:59,284 --> 00:06:01,355
- It's a person who loves...
- No!
156
00:06:01,422 --> 00:06:03,994
I mean the part where you said,
"See you this afternoon"?
157
00:06:04,061 --> 00:06:06,866
Well, it'd be a shame
if you couldn't make it.
158
00:06:06,933 --> 00:06:09,071
Then I would automatically win.
159
00:06:09,137 --> 00:06:11,075
Bobbie Nell, I swear to God.
160
00:06:11,141 --> 00:06:12,712
‐(squawks) ‐(liquid squishes)
161
00:06:12,778 --> 00:06:14,448
Oh, dang it, you spooked her!
162
00:06:19,191 --> 00:06:20,460
JENNY:
Something's off as hell.
163
00:06:20,527 --> 00:06:22,798
She's never walked this far
in her life.
164
00:06:22,865 --> 00:06:25,537
That's it. I'm calling her.
Hey, Violet.
165
00:06:25,604 --> 00:06:28,610
- Just calling
- to see what you're up to.
- VIOLET: Yeah, well,
166
00:06:28,677 --> 00:06:30,981
I'm hanging over at David's.
We're watching
167
00:06:31,048 --> 00:06:32,260
The Great British Bake Off.
Got to go.
168
00:06:32,284 --> 00:06:33,920
Oh, God. She lied.
169
00:06:33,987 --> 00:06:36,058
She lied
straight into my earholes.
170
00:06:36,125 --> 00:06:37,245
‐(horns honking) ‐(shouting)
171
00:06:37,294 --> 00:06:39,666
Go around, you monsters!
172
00:06:41,168 --> 00:06:42,681
- (bicycle bell rings)
- Hey, my babies.
173
00:06:42,705 --> 00:06:44,642
I'm going faster than y'all are.
174
00:06:44,709 --> 00:06:47,480
Oh, no! A pebble!
175
00:06:47,548 --> 00:06:48,750
(Betty gasps)
176
00:06:48,817 --> 00:06:50,486
They got her
out there recruiting.
177
00:06:50,554 --> 00:06:52,324
Who‐who? Recruiting for what?
178
00:06:52,390 --> 00:06:54,996
I've been holding back because
I didn't want to freak you out,
179
00:06:55,063 --> 00:06:58,637
but I am a hundred percent sure
Violet's in a cult.
180
00:06:58,704 --> 00:07:00,641
He's isolating her
from her family,
181
00:07:00,708 --> 00:07:02,277
demanding secrecy.
182
00:07:02,344 --> 00:07:04,157
- (horns honking)
- Now, when we get
to the cult place,
183
00:07:04,181 --> 00:07:06,619
do not let me
get anywhere near the leader.
184
00:07:06,686 --> 00:07:09,224
We don't know how charming
he is going to be.
185
00:07:09,291 --> 00:07:11,963
But I do know that when I get
around one of those Svengalis,
186
00:07:12,030 --> 00:07:15,103
I'm gonna get immediately
swept up into his orbit.
187
00:07:15,169 --> 00:07:17,107
What in the hell
are you talking about?
188
00:07:17,173 --> 00:07:20,681
It's the power, Jenny.
What can I tell you?
189
00:07:20,748 --> 00:07:22,852
Bhagwan. Yes.
190
00:07:22,918 --> 00:07:26,492
The Reverend Sun Myung Moon?
Where do I sign?
191
00:07:26,559 --> 00:07:28,262
L. Ron Hubbard?
192
00:07:28,329 --> 00:07:30,801
Oh, in that Navy uniform?
193
00:07:30,868 --> 00:07:34,809
He can audit
my bathing suit area anytime.
194
00:07:34,876 --> 00:07:37,313
- (honking continues)
- Mother, that is a bummer.
195
00:07:37,380 --> 00:07:38,817
Well, I'm just saying
196
00:07:38,884 --> 00:07:42,290
don't judge this man
until we see how handsome he is.
197
00:07:45,296 --> 00:07:46,966
- Uh‐oh.
- What?
198
00:07:47,033 --> 00:07:48,169
My diaper's full.
199
00:07:48,235 --> 00:07:49,404
Your what is what?
200
00:07:49,471 --> 00:07:51,843
I'm wearing
a crazy astronaut lady diaper
201
00:07:51,910 --> 00:07:54,582
because I didn't know how long
this was going to take.
202
00:07:54,649 --> 00:07:56,796
But they don't tell you
how quick these things fill up.
203
00:07:56,820 --> 00:07:59,491
I feel like I got
a bowling ball down there.
204
00:07:59,559 --> 00:08:01,028
Mother, are you insane?
205
00:08:01,094 --> 00:08:03,967
No. Putting on
this crazy astronaut lady diaper
206
00:08:04,034 --> 00:08:06,104
is the sanest thing
I've ever done.
207
00:08:06,171 --> 00:08:08,142
I would do anything
for my grandbaby.
208
00:08:08,209 --> 00:08:11,616
And if you cared about Violet,
you'd be wearing a diaper, too.
209
00:08:11,683 --> 00:08:13,452
Pulling over.
Got to dump it
210
00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:15,791
and slam on a fresh one.
211
00:08:17,528 --> 00:08:18,630
MATLOCK:
Your Honor,
212
00:08:18,697 --> 00:08:20,734
Ben Matlock, attorney‐at‐law.
213
00:08:20,801 --> 00:08:22,470
Ooh, boy.
214
00:08:22,538 --> 00:08:25,476
Let me put my chili dog down.
215
00:08:25,544 --> 00:08:28,683
"Ooh, boy.
Let me put my chili dog down."
216
00:08:28,750 --> 00:08:30,486
What's up, weirdo?
217
00:08:30,554 --> 00:08:32,992
Hey, Brenda.
Got to go to court today.
218
00:08:33,058 --> 00:08:35,229
- Court?
- Bobbie Nell's suing me.
219
00:08:35,296 --> 00:08:37,868
Oh, crap. You're gonna lose.
220
00:08:37,935 --> 00:08:41,509
I can't afford to lose.
She's suing me for five grand.
221
00:08:41,576 --> 00:08:43,680
That is a life‐ruining amount
of money.
222
00:08:43,747 --> 00:08:45,349
Boy, are you glad
I ran into you,
223
00:08:45,416 --> 00:08:46,886
Wayne, 'cause I am the queen
224
00:08:46,953 --> 00:08:48,723
of Guilford County
small‐claims court.
225
00:08:48,790 --> 00:08:51,461
Slip and falls,
Craigslist mishaps,
226
00:08:51,529 --> 00:08:54,635
waterslide burns‐‐
the list goes on and on.
227
00:08:54,702 --> 00:08:55,971
I'm‐a go with you.
228
00:08:56,038 --> 00:08:57,708
Oh, thanks, Brenda,
but I'm gonna be fine.
229
00:08:57,775 --> 00:08:59,745
I'm studying old Matlocks.
230
00:08:59,812 --> 00:09:03,185
Lame. Bobbie Nell is an animal
in that courtroom.
231
00:09:03,252 --> 00:09:05,524
It's how she makes her living.
You're gonna need more
232
00:09:05,591 --> 00:09:08,028
than just your moseying
Southern lawyer show.
233
00:09:08,095 --> 00:09:09,699
You're gonna need me.
234
00:09:09,765 --> 00:09:11,769
Let's tank up! Dickie,
235
00:09:11,836 --> 00:09:14,040
we'll have a round
of peach cobbler Slusheritos
236
00:09:14,107 --> 00:09:16,211
and an order
of flour gravy poppers.
237
00:09:16,278 --> 00:09:18,148
Oh, snap. You going to court?
238
00:09:25,864 --> 00:09:28,536
♪ ♪
239
00:09:28,603 --> 00:09:30,540
Come on, Mother!
240
00:09:30,607 --> 00:09:32,043
We're losing her.
241
00:09:32,110 --> 00:09:34,414
Violet, no!
242
00:09:34,481 --> 00:09:37,655
Be careful
on that giant, stupid bike!
243
00:09:37,721 --> 00:09:39,759
I will for the sake of me
244
00:09:39,825 --> 00:09:43,633
and our baby, Randy Jr.
245
00:09:43,700 --> 00:09:47,173
Next stop Jacksonville,
246
00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:48,519
- my babies.
- (bicycle bell rings)
247
00:09:48,543 --> 00:09:51,114
Oh, no, a bottle cap!
248
00:09:51,181 --> 00:09:52,785
Drive, drive, drive!
249
00:09:52,851 --> 00:09:54,020
(tires squealing)
250
00:09:54,087 --> 00:09:56,526
‐(both scream) ‐(crashing)
251
00:09:58,095 --> 00:10:00,199
What the hell
are we running from?!
252
00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:01,703
The clerk saw me
pushing my diaper
253
00:10:01,769 --> 00:10:03,649
into that straw wrapper
trash can by the soda fountain.
254
00:10:03,673 --> 00:10:05,476
Now, where the hell is Violet?
255
00:10:05,544 --> 00:10:07,815
Well, I was watching her
256
00:10:07,881 --> 00:10:09,451
walk towards
the Birchwood Strip Mall,
257
00:10:09,518 --> 00:10:13,058
but now I'm snoot first
in a crevasse.
258
00:10:14,094 --> 00:10:15,496
Oh, Lord!
259
00:10:15,564 --> 00:10:17,233
We are wedged in this ditch.
260
00:10:17,300 --> 00:10:18,970
Don't worry. I got this.
261
00:10:19,037 --> 00:10:21,241
Mama bear energy!
262
00:10:21,308 --> 00:10:23,546
(grunts loudly)
263
00:10:23,613 --> 00:10:26,418
You can't just summon it, Jenny.
Here, let me try.
264
00:10:26,485 --> 00:10:28,088
Ow!
265
00:10:29,759 --> 00:10:32,029
Looks like we're gonna
have to squish and shimmy.
266
00:10:32,096 --> 00:10:33,867
(both groaning)
267
00:10:33,933 --> 00:10:36,037
Oh, my dipe.
268
00:10:36,104 --> 00:10:37,574
Well, on the bright side,
269
00:10:37,641 --> 00:10:39,578
I can't speak
for all the other ditches,
270
00:10:39,645 --> 00:10:42,049
but at least we know Violet's
not dead in this one.
271
00:10:42,116 --> 00:10:45,456
- (gasps)
- Now there's only one thing
left to do.
272
00:10:46,592 --> 00:10:48,797
- Hitchhiking?
- If we are gonna save her,
273
00:10:48,863 --> 00:10:52,203
we've gotta follow her
down the rabbit hole.
274
00:10:52,270 --> 00:10:56,211
Yep. Still got the thumb
of a 16‐year‐old.
275
00:10:57,280 --> 00:10:59,050
Hey, sugar.
276
00:10:59,117 --> 00:11:02,423
- Ooh, look at that big wheel!
- (groans)
277
00:11:07,099 --> 00:11:08,779
We're trying to catch up with my
daughter, so if you could just
278
00:11:08,803 --> 00:11:10,817
- drop us off
at the Birchwood Strip Mall?
- Sure. Wait.
279
00:11:10,841 --> 00:11:12,176
This isn't a sting, is it?
280
00:11:12,243 --> 00:11:14,247
One of those
To Catch a Predators?
281
00:11:14,314 --> 00:11:15,851
(chuckles)
Just kidding.
282
00:11:15,917 --> 00:11:18,121
- Let's go grab that little girl.
- (phone rings)
283
00:11:18,188 --> 00:11:19,658
Oop. Got to make a pit stop.
284
00:11:22,263 --> 00:11:24,969
(quietly):
Open the door. We can jump out.
285
00:11:25,035 --> 00:11:27,206
- Now's our chance.
- Well, it's happening.
286
00:11:27,273 --> 00:11:29,143
I'm finally being
human trafficked.
287
00:11:29,210 --> 00:11:31,190
I guess on the bright side,
they will be getting me
288
00:11:31,214 --> 00:11:33,620
- in my prime.
- What in the hell
is wrong with you?
289
00:11:33,686 --> 00:11:35,089
Sir? Mister?
290
00:11:35,155 --> 00:11:36,224
Sir?
291
00:11:38,228 --> 00:11:40,332
- He's doing drugs!
- Oh, it's heron!
292
00:11:40,399 --> 00:11:41,502
Oh!
293
00:11:41,569 --> 00:11:44,007
- (grunting)
- No, it's just my insulin.
294
00:11:44,073 --> 00:11:46,679
We're coming, Violet!
295
00:11:46,746 --> 00:11:48,850
Let us borrow those bikes,
children.
296
00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:50,395
- Give us those bikes!
- We need those bikes!
297
00:11:50,419 --> 00:11:51,923
Get on the bikes!
298
00:11:53,726 --> 00:11:55,029
(squawks)
299
00:11:55,095 --> 00:11:57,266
I've been following your wins.
300
00:11:57,333 --> 00:11:59,203
Follow yours, too.
301
00:11:59,270 --> 00:12:00,707
You won a settlement
for slipping
302
00:12:00,774 --> 00:12:03,980
on a Slip 'N Slide, and "slip"
is right there in the title.
303
00:12:04,047 --> 00:12:05,550
Kudos, milady.
304
00:12:05,617 --> 00:12:07,654
I've heard
of a hot coffee lawsuit,
305
00:12:07,721 --> 00:12:09,591
but an iced coffee lawsuit?
306
00:12:09,658 --> 00:12:11,161
Impressive.
307
00:12:11,227 --> 00:12:14,400
This is gonna be fun.
308
00:12:14,467 --> 00:12:16,004
So, do we just walk on in?
309
00:12:16,071 --> 00:12:18,117
'Cause on Matlock, they
just come back from commercial,
310
00:12:18,141 --> 00:12:19,477
and everybody's
already in there.
311
00:12:19,545 --> 00:12:21,816
It goes: reverse mortgage,
home catheter delivery,
312
00:12:21,882 --> 00:12:24,521
cash for gold, and then, boom‐‐
Matlock's in the courtroom
313
00:12:24,588 --> 00:12:26,993
ready to poke holes
in alibis and timelines.
314
00:12:27,059 --> 00:12:28,997
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
We are not doing
315
00:12:29,063 --> 00:12:30,700
any of that Matlock crap.
316
00:12:30,767 --> 00:12:33,438
Brenda, you better be right,
because I'm worried as hell.
317
00:12:33,506 --> 00:12:37,079
I can't lose this case
and have a hole in the roof.
318
00:12:39,417 --> 00:12:41,856
Last I saw her, she was walking
toward this strip mall!
319
00:12:41,922 --> 00:12:43,025
Oh, my God.
320
00:12:43,091 --> 00:12:45,797
You were right, Mother.
321
00:12:45,864 --> 00:12:47,066
She's in a cult.
322
00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:49,237
(sighs)
323
00:12:49,303 --> 00:12:51,942
Well... it's showtime.
324
00:12:54,047 --> 00:12:56,519
Why in the hell are you
so horned up over all this?
325
00:12:56,585 --> 00:12:59,925
All rise for the Honorable
Judge Debbie Donatello.
326
00:12:59,992 --> 00:13:02,697
- Oh, no...
- Oh, not the Yankee judge.
327
00:13:02,764 --> 00:13:05,102
Hi. I'm Judge Debbie Donatello.
328
00:13:05,169 --> 00:13:07,641
I ran the toughest courtroom
in New York City.
329
00:13:07,707 --> 00:13:08,976
Murders, beheadings,
330
00:13:09,043 --> 00:13:12,116
subway shovings, Mob,
bodega‐on‐bodega arsons,
331
00:13:12,183 --> 00:13:13,452
all that stuff.
332
00:13:13,519 --> 00:13:15,456
I moved down here
to beautiful North Carolina
333
00:13:15,523 --> 00:13:16,725
to get out of that hellhole.
334
00:13:16,792 --> 00:13:18,629
All right,
what's first on the docket?
335
00:13:18,696 --> 00:13:22,303
Your Honor, this man gave
my cockatiel a psychotic break,
336
00:13:22,369 --> 00:13:25,342
which caused me property damage
and emotional...
337
00:13:25,409 --> 00:13:27,346
(sniffles)
distress.
338
00:13:27,413 --> 00:13:29,985
Damn. She got
to the emotion card first.
339
00:13:30,052 --> 00:13:33,425
Well, it's a good thing
Mr. Ben Matlock, Esquire,
340
00:13:33,492 --> 00:13:35,362
brought his secret weapon:
341
00:13:35,429 --> 00:13:37,199
the Farmer's Almanac.
342
00:13:37,266 --> 00:13:38,836
I'm about to prove
that full moon's
343
00:13:38,903 --> 00:13:40,716
- been causing
that bird's upset.
- Don't be an idiot!
344
00:13:40,740 --> 00:13:42,109
- (thump)
- MAN: Ow!
345
00:13:42,176 --> 00:13:45,850
We're not doing that
hokey folksy Matlock crap.
346
00:13:45,917 --> 00:13:48,121
Now, you go on and hush
and watch me overwhelm them
347
00:13:48,188 --> 00:13:49,691
with facts and figures.
348
00:13:49,758 --> 00:13:51,695
(Brenda clears throat)
349
00:13:51,762 --> 00:13:54,868
In these 50‐some‐odd
United States of America,
350
00:13:54,935 --> 00:13:58,275
there are upwards
of 62 billion roofs.
351
00:13:58,341 --> 00:14:00,880
This does not include
Puerto Rico and Guam.
352
00:14:00,947 --> 00:14:03,218
- (knuckles cracking)
- Let's get into why.
353
00:14:04,220 --> 00:14:05,657
JENNY:
This makes sense.
354
00:14:05,723 --> 00:14:08,228
Look around.
This cult targets nerds!
355
00:14:08,295 --> 00:14:09,731
(phone vibrating)
356
00:14:09,798 --> 00:14:12,002
It's a voice mail
from Violet. Shh.
357
00:14:12,069 --> 00:14:14,006
Hi, Mom. I'm not gonna be hoe
for dinner.
358
00:14:14,073 --> 00:14:16,679
- I have some stuff...- MAN: Violet,- I told you no phone calls.
359
00:14:16,745 --> 00:14:19,417
- Bring the baby over here.
- Oh, Lord.
360
00:14:20,419 --> 00:14:22,456
There is an older man.
361
00:14:22,524 --> 00:14:24,695
An older, controlling man.
362
00:14:24,761 --> 00:14:26,130
And a baby!
363
00:14:26,197 --> 00:14:27,534
Where is she?
364
00:14:27,601 --> 00:14:28,970
Where is Violet Hart?
365
00:14:29,036 --> 00:14:31,207
Oh, Violet?
Yeah, she's next door.
366
00:14:31,274 --> 00:14:32,978
No! Hey! Don't go in there!
367
00:14:33,044 --> 00:14:35,215
He doesn't like it
when people let the light in!
368
00:14:38,121 --> 00:14:39,691
Oh, my Lord.
369
00:14:42,564 --> 00:14:44,668
BETTY:
There he is.
370
00:14:44,735 --> 00:14:45,903
The cult leader.
371
00:14:47,072 --> 00:14:48,509
- BETTY: (gasps) Oh.
- JENNY: What?
372
00:14:48,576 --> 00:14:51,515
I thought we would do better
with the face.
373
00:14:53,653 --> 00:14:55,857
Did you know that there are
more Spanish roof tiles
374
00:14:55,923 --> 00:14:58,428
than there are stars
in the galaxy?
375
00:14:58,495 --> 00:15:00,032
All right, all right,
your time's up.
376
00:15:00,098 --> 00:15:02,303
It's so cute you people think
these are problems.
377
00:15:02,369 --> 00:15:04,608
Other lady, go.
378
00:15:04,675 --> 00:15:06,879
I'd like to call
my star witness.
379
00:15:06,945 --> 00:15:08,315
Anita, come!
380
00:15:08,381 --> 00:15:10,553
‐(screeches) ‐(people gasping)
381
00:15:10,620 --> 00:15:12,590
As you can see,
382
00:15:12,657 --> 00:15:15,963
she is a sweet, normal bird.
383
00:15:16,030 --> 00:15:18,903
Oh, yeah,
that is a beautiful bird!
384
00:15:18,969 --> 00:15:20,973
I'm used to diseased
subway pigeons
385
00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:23,144
fighting a rat over a slice.
386
00:15:23,211 --> 00:15:25,516
But watch what
this nail gun does to her.
387
00:15:25,583 --> 00:15:28,021
‐(loud clacking) ‐(squawks)
388
00:15:28,088 --> 00:15:31,027
- (yelling)
- No!
- Anita!
389
00:15:31,094 --> 00:15:33,031
- No!
- Judge Debbie!
- What the hell is this?
390
00:15:33,098 --> 00:15:35,268
Don't let that country‐ass bird
land on me!
391
00:15:35,335 --> 00:15:36,437
(squawks)
392
00:15:38,241 --> 00:15:39,544
Oh!
393
00:15:41,915 --> 00:15:43,686
All right, relax, people.
394
00:15:43,753 --> 00:15:45,455
A bird flew into a fan.
395
00:15:45,523 --> 00:15:47,059
You know, I once saw a mobster
396
00:15:47,126 --> 00:15:48,963
shove a cabbie's manhood
into a Vitamix.
397
00:15:49,029 --> 00:15:50,829
Now, that's called
a Mulberry Street Smoothie.
398
00:15:50,867 --> 00:15:52,403
All right, let's take a recess.
399
00:15:53,405 --> 00:15:54,975
BETTY:
I can't see what's going on.
400
00:15:55,041 --> 00:15:56,377
It's a baby!
401
00:15:56,444 --> 00:15:58,314
And she's wearing
a wedding dress!
402
00:15:58,381 --> 00:16:00,720
(gasps)
The leader is marrying the baby!
403
00:16:00,787 --> 00:16:04,260
Oh, God, Violet's sister wife
is a baby!
404
00:16:04,326 --> 00:16:07,466
MAN:
Prop her up. I want to see
that beautiful little face.
405
00:16:07,534 --> 00:16:11,240
After all, today is the day
she dedicates herself to God.
406
00:16:12,342 --> 00:16:13,612
We have to stop them!
407
00:16:13,679 --> 00:16:15,449
Here's the plan:
I'll grab the baby bride,
408
00:16:15,516 --> 00:16:17,654
you grab Violet,
and we'll book it out of here.
409
00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:18,720
Okay.
410
00:16:18,756 --> 00:16:21,127
- Three, two...
- There's no time!
411
00:16:21,194 --> 00:16:22,229
(both yell)
412
00:16:22,296 --> 00:16:24,568
Mama bear energy...!
413
00:16:24,634 --> 00:16:25,736
Ow!
414
00:16:25,803 --> 00:16:28,976
That baby is not marrying
anyone today!
415
00:16:30,646 --> 00:16:32,784
(baby bawling)
416
00:16:38,896 --> 00:16:41,067
Mom! Gram! What the hell?
417
00:16:41,133 --> 00:16:45,242
- What are you doing?
- What are you doing?
418
00:16:45,308 --> 00:16:48,414
We're taking photos of this baby
on her christening day.
419
00:16:49,584 --> 00:16:52,557
This is my part‐time job,
you lunatics.
420
00:16:52,624 --> 00:16:54,193
- Oh...
- And that's why
421
00:16:54,260 --> 00:16:56,030
- he said‐‐ oh...
- The white dress is...
422
00:16:56,097 --> 00:16:57,910
- Oh, and you're not in a cult.
- And I'm not attracted to him
423
00:16:57,934 --> 00:17:00,405
- because‐‐ oh...
- You're just‐‐ oh...
424
00:17:00,472 --> 00:17:02,911
(chuckles)
Thought she was getting married.
425
00:17:10,492 --> 00:17:12,029
If only you
would have told me...
426
00:17:12,095 --> 00:17:14,534
Yeah, I should have told you,
so you could come in here
427
00:17:14,601 --> 00:17:16,872
and mortally embarrass me
sooner. Got it.
428
00:17:16,939 --> 00:17:18,441
Just please get out.
429
00:17:18,509 --> 00:17:19,744
Vi!
430
00:17:19,811 --> 00:17:21,682
Just go.
431
00:17:24,186 --> 00:17:25,623
Maybe y'all could use this
432
00:17:25,690 --> 00:17:28,294
in one of your little
fall tableaus.
433
00:17:30,298 --> 00:17:31,969
Hey, friend.
434
00:17:32,035 --> 00:17:34,139
What's gotcha down?
435
00:17:34,206 --> 00:17:37,145
All I wanted to do was put
a roof over my family's head,
436
00:17:37,212 --> 00:17:39,551
and now it's about to cost me
five grand.
437
00:17:39,618 --> 00:17:42,155
Son, if I may offer some advice:
438
00:17:42,222 --> 00:17:45,328
it ain't over
till the gavel hits the pine.
439
00:17:45,395 --> 00:17:48,535
Oh, sir, you are so right!
440
00:17:49,571 --> 00:17:52,309
Well, got to get
to my murder trial.
441
00:17:52,376 --> 00:17:54,981
‐(dings) ‐Wish me luck.
442
00:17:57,920 --> 00:18:00,067
- Rest your case,
or you're going to sleep.
- You rest your case,
443
00:18:00,091 --> 00:18:01,561
or you're going to sleep.
444
00:18:01,628 --> 00:18:02,930
- ♪ ♪
- (people gasping)
445
00:18:02,997 --> 00:18:05,135
If I may, Your Honor.
446
00:18:07,940 --> 00:18:10,111
(Southern accent):
Whew, boy! I sure am glad
447
00:18:10,178 --> 00:18:12,583
Lady Justice wears a blindfold,
448
00:18:12,650 --> 00:18:14,788
so she didn't have to see
this devil's circus
449
00:18:14,854 --> 00:18:17,025
that went on in here today.
450
00:18:18,294 --> 00:18:20,065
Look at us.
451
00:18:20,131 --> 00:18:22,235
I plumb forgot
what this dustup's even about.
452
00:18:22,302 --> 00:18:25,643
Now, what I'm‐what I'm...
what I'm trying to say here is,
453
00:18:25,710 --> 00:18:29,784
hoo, boy, we all need
to stop fightin'.
454
00:18:29,851 --> 00:18:31,755
And if something's worrying
our warts,
455
00:18:31,822 --> 00:18:34,694
we got to open our mouths
and communicate.
456
00:18:34,761 --> 00:18:38,869
We all need to stop fighting
and start being kinder
457
00:18:38,936 --> 00:18:42,042
and‐and more neighborly,
'cause hot diggity dog,
458
00:18:42,109 --> 00:18:45,750
and I do mean shucks. Hoo, boy!
459
00:18:47,185 --> 00:18:49,189
Wayne, you're right.
460
00:18:49,256 --> 00:18:51,728
I guess I should start
being kindlier.
461
00:18:51,795 --> 00:18:54,333
Bobbie Nell, I'm so sorry
for whatever part I had
462
00:18:54,399 --> 00:18:56,303
in what happened to Anita.
463
00:18:56,370 --> 00:18:58,341
But the good news is,
now she's in Heaven,
464
00:18:58,407 --> 00:19:02,282
flying into that big ol'
sliding glass door in the sky.
465
00:19:02,349 --> 00:19:04,954
Don't worry, Wayne,
she was terminal anyway.
466
00:19:05,021 --> 00:19:06,190
Riddled with tumors.
467
00:19:06,257 --> 00:19:08,427
She slept on my cell phone
every night.
468
00:19:08,494 --> 00:19:09,831
I couldn't stop her.
469
00:19:09,898 --> 00:19:12,670
Brenda and Bobbie Nell,
bring it in here.
470
00:19:12,737 --> 00:19:16,177
Aw. This hokey,
small‐town crap is beautiful.
471
00:19:16,243 --> 00:19:17,814
If this was New York,
472
00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:20,118
the floor would be covered
in number twos.
473
00:19:20,185 --> 00:19:21,187
Case dismissed.
474
00:19:27,032 --> 00:19:28,502
VIOLET:
No, thank you.
475
00:19:28,569 --> 00:19:31,575
Can you just tell me why you
wanted to get a secret job?
476
00:19:31,641 --> 00:19:33,645
I share everything
with you guys.
477
00:19:33,712 --> 00:19:38,187
My bedroom is also our family
storage unit and laundry room.
478
00:19:38,254 --> 00:19:40,659
I really just wanted something
that was just mine.
479
00:19:40,726 --> 00:19:42,162
I totally get that, Vi.
480
00:19:42,229 --> 00:19:45,168
And I'm so sorry
I embarrassed you.
481
00:19:45,235 --> 00:19:46,504
Okay.
482
00:19:46,571 --> 00:19:48,341
Are we done?
483
00:19:48,407 --> 00:19:50,946
You know, when I was young
I made a lot of mistakes.
484
00:19:51,013 --> 00:19:53,952
And the fact that I survived
those years was pure luck.
485
00:19:54,019 --> 00:19:56,123
I just got scared that
you wouldn't be as lucky,
486
00:19:56,190 --> 00:19:58,427
and I went a little crazy.
487
00:19:59,597 --> 00:20:01,400
I know I need to trust you.
488
00:20:01,467 --> 00:20:03,639
I mean, we both know
you're smarter than I was.
489
00:20:03,705 --> 00:20:05,709
I just need to remember that.
490
00:20:07,045 --> 00:20:09,383
90‐Day Beyoncé is coming on.
491
00:20:09,449 --> 00:20:11,788
You want to watch it with me?
492
00:20:17,165 --> 00:20:19,269
(music playing over TV)
493
00:20:19,336 --> 00:20:20,839
HOST (on TV):
I'm sorry, Megan,
494
00:20:20,906 --> 00:20:22,576
but we're at day 32,
495
00:20:22,643 --> 00:20:24,446
and you
barely look like Beyoncé.
496
00:20:24,514 --> 00:20:26,183
It's time for you
to leave the Beyhive.
497
00:20:26,250 --> 00:20:28,922
The exit is... to the left.
498
00:20:36,370 --> 00:20:38,341
(woman crying)
499
00:20:38,407 --> 00:20:41,982
♪ ♪
500
00:20:42,048 --> 00:20:44,386
Hello, turd lovers.
501
00:20:44,453 --> 00:20:45,765
Bobbie Nell,
what happened to you?
502
00:20:45,789 --> 00:20:47,660
Well, you hugged me too hard
after court!
503
00:20:47,727 --> 00:20:50,164
You just bought yourself
a lawsuit.
504
00:20:50,231 --> 00:20:53,705
Oh, I just remembered,
your hug ripped my rotator cuff.
505
00:20:53,772 --> 00:20:55,676
Ow! Countersuit!
506
00:20:55,743 --> 00:20:57,947
- Oh, Lord.
- Bunch of loonies.
507
00:21:04,059 --> 00:21:05,863
Ma'am?
What the hell are you doing?
508
00:21:05,929 --> 00:21:07,600
Haven't you ever seen
a grown woman
509
00:21:07,666 --> 00:21:10,004
put an adult diaper
in the straw trash before?
510
00:21:10,071 --> 00:21:13,177
No, ma'am, I have not.
And I think that violates
511
00:21:13,244 --> 00:21:16,150
every health code that
has ever been written down.
512
00:21:16,216 --> 00:21:19,022
Well, you should empty the
trash in the ladies' restroom.
513
00:21:19,089 --> 00:21:22,462
This is on you!
514
00:21:22,530 --> 00:21:23,665
Oh, come on!
515
00:21:23,732 --> 00:21:26,538
And pick up
all these sunglasses!
516
00:21:26,604 --> 00:21:27,907
(groans)
517
00:21:27,973 --> 00:21:30,979
Every damn spectacle...
518
00:21:31,046 --> 00:21:33,050
‐(meows) ‐(horn honks musically)
37417
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