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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:01,100 Bandit, me and Fred've got a question. 2 00:01:01,100 --> 00:01:02,500 What do you and Fred want? 3 00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:04,700 - How come we doing this? - Why not? 4 00:01:04,700 --> 00:01:07,600 - They said it couldn't be done. - That's the reason. 5 00:01:07,700 --> 00:01:09,600 That's good with Fred. We're clear. 6 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:11,300 Ten-four. 7 00:01:11,500 --> 00:01:14,000 I'm Big Enos Burdette. 8 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:17,200 This is my son, Little Enos. 9 00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:29,000 Hold on to your ass, Fred. 10 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:38,500 What we're dealing with here... 11 00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:43,200 is a complete lack of respect for the law. 12 00:02:14,100 --> 00:02:20,200 Nobody makes Sheriff Buford T. Justice look like a possum's pecker. 13 00:02:25,300 --> 00:02:27,000 Daddy, look out! 14 00:02:33,500 --> 00:02:37,200 - Daddy? - Shut up, Junior. I'm thinking. 15 00:02:37,300 --> 00:02:40,600 - What are you thinking about? - Retiring. 16 00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:48,500 Atten-hut! 17 00:03:13,700 --> 00:03:16,700 You can all sit down now. 18 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:23,900 I want to thank you nice ladies and gentlemen... 19 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:26,600 and my fellow officers... 20 00:03:26,700 --> 00:03:30,600 for coming here this evening to celebrate the retirement... 21 00:03:30,700 --> 00:03:35,400 of an old friend, Sheriff Buford T. Justice. 22 00:03:35,700 --> 00:03:38,900 I think I can truthfully say... 23 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:41,700 that tonight I feel as if I... 24 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:44,900 were emerging victoriously... 25 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:48,400 from a 35-year war. 26 00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:52,200 A war to uphold law and order. 27 00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:54,000 Daddy, I'm bored. 28 00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:57,100 I'm bored hearing about your boredom. 29 00:03:57,100 --> 00:04:00,100 That's why I went to all this trouble. Now we're going to have fun! 30 00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:03,100 As much fun as putting Ex-Lax in the Dallas water supply? 31 00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:05,700 Yeah, and then cornering the market on toilet paper. 32 00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:07,300 More fun than that. 33 00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:11,800 And what fond memories were brought back... 34 00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:16,800 when I saw those 211s, the 502s... 35 00:04:17,100 --> 00:04:20,800 and the DWls and the APBs... 36 00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:27,000 but most of all, those hot pursuits. 37 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:30,100 You're going to pee in your pants watching that county mountie... 38 00:04:30,100 --> 00:04:31,600 hump across six states. 39 00:04:31,700 --> 00:04:34,100 I don't think the Sheriff will buy your plan, frankly. 40 00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:38,900 Trust me, son. If there's one thing that egomaniac can't refuse... 41 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:41,100 it's a public challenge. 42 00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:45,800 BUFORD:... that I have marched through a wave of crime and criminals... 43 00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:49,100 like crap through a moose. 44 00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:56,900 In the '60s, I chased those pimply-faced, long-haired hippies. 45 00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:58,500 And I caught them. 46 00:04:58,500 --> 00:05:01,200 - Then in the '70s, I chased- - The Bandit! 47 00:05:01,300 --> 00:05:04,000 What about The Bandit? 48 00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:07,600 Yeah, Daddy? What about The Bandit? 49 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:09,900 Sit down, you tick turd! 50 00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:17,500 I chased that boy for over 3,000 miles. 51 00:05:17,700 --> 00:05:19,900 Through 20 states. 52 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:23,500 - But you didn't catch him. - So I didn't catch him. 53 00:05:23,500 --> 00:05:27,200 What the hell difference does it make? But I'll bet- 54 00:05:27,300 --> 00:05:29,300 - Okay. - Okay, what? 55 00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:32,200 - Okay, let's bet. - What are you talking about? 56 00:05:32,300 --> 00:05:36,600 What we're talking about is a simple contest, a little race. 57 00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:38,700 And if you win, Sheriff... 58 00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:44,800 we Enoses are going to pony up $250,000. 59 00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:49,100 If you lose, you fork over that silly symbol... 60 00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:53,200 you've been shoving in people's faces all these years. 61 00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:55,800 Your badge. 62 00:05:56,800 --> 00:06:02,800 This badge means more to me than anything else in the world. 63 00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:06,100 And I'd like nothing more than anything else in the world... 64 00:06:06,100 --> 00:06:07,800 to run you into the ground. 65 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:11,000 You and that excuse for a son, 66 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:14,300 who looks just like a flea's pecker. 67 00:06:15,700 --> 00:06:19,200 However, I'm going to retire. 68 00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:23,200 I'm going down to Florida and sit in the sun with my son. 69 00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:27,300 Remember, we're talking about an awful lot of money here. 70 00:06:27,300 --> 00:06:30,800 So if you change your mind, you know where to reach us. 71 00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:33,700 Thanks, but no thanks. 72 00:06:33,700 --> 00:06:37,600 And now, ladies and gentlemen, at this very moment... 73 00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:43,400 I proclaim myself retired. 74 00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:06,900 Buford T. Justice Fearless law of Texas 75 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:10,000 The man who chased The Bandit coast to coast 76 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:14,600 Buford T. Justice Now you've up and left us 77 00:07:14,700 --> 00:07:18,800 Where are you, Justice when we need you the most 78 00:07:21,300 --> 00:07:25,100 Some say you're a lunatic Some say you're a buffoon 79 00:07:25,100 --> 00:07:28,600 Some say you're a fooI with a gun 80 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:32,900 Though you stuck to him like glue 81 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:37,500 Now who'd have thought you'd walk away before the job was done 82 00:07:41,500 --> 00:07:45,100 The man who chased The Bandit coast to coast 83 00:07:45,500 --> 00:07:49,200 Buford T. Justice Now you've up and left us 84 00:07:49,500 --> 00:07:53,800 Where are you, Justice when we need you the most 85 00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:02,800 You're a hero to your ego a legend in your own mind 86 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:06,100 To serve and protect has been your word 87 00:08:06,300 --> 00:08:10,300 But can you stand to sit it out when pride is on the line 88 00:08:10,300 --> 00:08:14,600 And "What about The Bandit?" was the last thing that you heard 89 00:08:14,900 --> 00:08:18,700 You're Buford T. Justice Fearless law of Texas 90 00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:22,100 Man who chased The Bandit coast to coast 91 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:26,800 Buford T. Justice Now you've up and left us 92 00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:30,900 Where are you, Justice when we need you the most 93 00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:35,400 Just like some old gray race horse, you've been put to graze 94 00:08:35,500 --> 00:08:39,400 They say you're over the hill now and you've seen your better days 95 00:08:39,500 --> 00:08:42,700 Like that old race horse, you still hear that bell 96 00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:47,200 If a hot chase was heaven Now the good life is hell 97 00:09:03,700 --> 00:09:07,700 Well, you took on all those outlaws and the weirdoes with the hair 98 00:09:07,700 --> 00:09:11,100 You stood for law and order all the way 99 00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:15,400 Now, you're standing on your records But does anybody care 100 00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:19,900 You're still known as the boob who let the big one get away 101 00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:24,100 'Cause you're Buford T. Justice, Fearless law of Texas 102 00:09:24,100 --> 00:09:27,300 The man who chased The Bandit coast to coast 103 00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:31,800 Buford T. Justice Now you've up and left us 104 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:35,800 Where are you, Justice when we need you the most 105 00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:40,200 Where are you, Justice when we need you the most 106 00:09:41,700 --> 00:09:45,600 Where are you, Justice when we need you the most 107 00:09:54,100 --> 00:09:58,000 Junior, retirement is cat shit. 108 00:09:58,100 --> 00:10:00,800 Let's get the Enoses. 109 00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:09,800 Oh, look, Daddy! 110 00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:11,900 The June Taylor Dancers. 111 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:26,300 - There's our turkey. - Let's go stuff him! 112 00:10:28,900 --> 00:10:32,200 Daddy, they're taking our picture. Wet your lips. 113 00:10:32,300 --> 00:10:34,200 Shut up, shit. 114 00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:36,400 Well, welcome, Sheriff. 115 00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:38,900 What the hell's going on? 116 00:10:39,300 --> 00:10:43,600 These are a few of Daddy's closest friends. Just came to see you off. 117 00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:47,400 Let's cut the crap and get down to the nitty-gritty. 118 00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:49,600 Well, you're a sporting man, Sheriff. 119 00:10:49,700 --> 00:10:52,000 We're going to bet you $250,000... 120 00:10:52,100 --> 00:10:53,900 against your tin star... 121 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,600 that you can't drive from here in Miami... 122 00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:59,500 to the Enos Ranch just outside of Austin, Texas... 123 00:10:59,500 --> 00:11:02,100 by 5:30 tomorrow afternoon. 124 00:11:02,100 --> 00:11:06,000 That's only 1,400 miles. What's the catch? 125 00:11:06,100 --> 00:11:07,700 There's the catch. 126 00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:12,500 - Look at that big ugly fish, Daddy. - Looks like your mama. 127 00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:17,100 Smells like your mama, too. 128 00:11:17,100 --> 00:11:19,500 That's our advertising campaign. Get it? 129 00:11:19,500 --> 00:11:20,300 Fish and chips. 130 00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:24,200 We're opening up fast-food franchises all over the South. 131 00:11:25,100 --> 00:11:27,600 Get that off the top of my car! 132 00:11:27,700 --> 00:11:31,000 A little respect, Sheriff. That's our logo. 133 00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:33,400 Daddy, what's a logo? 134 00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:35,200 Something like a flounder. 135 00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:38,900 That's in the great tradition of American advertising. 136 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:42,500 And you got to carry it. Otherwise, no bet. 137 00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:43,900 I get it. 138 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:48,600 You're trying to humiliate me so I won't take the bet. 139 00:11:49,100 --> 00:11:51,200 Get in the car, Junior. 140 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:54,400 Now then, Sheriff, be careful with the badge. 141 00:11:54,500 --> 00:11:58,400 It's going to make a beautiful belt buckle for me. 142 00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:00,300 If you get my badge... 143 00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:05,500 it's going to be a seven-pointed suppository. 144 00:12:09,900 --> 00:12:12,900 He fell for it, hook, line, and sinker. 145 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:26,400 - Be careful, Daddy! - Don't worry, Junior. 146 00:12:26,500 --> 00:12:31,100 I know a shortcut. We'll be out of here in no time. 147 00:12:31,100 --> 00:12:34,000 Daddy, we've been driving around for two-and-a-half hours... 148 00:12:34,100 --> 00:12:37,100 and we're still in downtown Miami. 149 00:12:37,900 --> 00:12:41,800 I'm as confused as a baby raccoon. 150 00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:44,000 I don't know where the hell we are. 151 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:48,200 - It's right here on the map. - Get that damn thing out of my face! 152 00:12:48,300 --> 00:12:49,700 I was only trying to help. 153 00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:52,700 You want to help? Jump out the window. 154 00:12:52,900 --> 00:12:55,200 Turn left here, Daddy. 155 00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:59,200 Look at all these people, Daddy. 156 00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:02,100 Junior, what you got us into now? 157 00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:05,400 Come on, get out the way! We're in a hurry! 158 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:10,300 I think we've crossed the border. 159 00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:13,900 Hey, you want to buy some food for your fish? 160 00:13:14,700 --> 00:13:16,900 Up yours and that fish. 161 00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:22,300 Get the hell out of here. I know what time it is. 162 00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:26,600 Get back! 163 00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:30,400 You'd think they never saw a car with a big fish on top. 164 00:13:30,500 --> 00:13:33,600 Ladies, nice ladies. 165 00:13:35,500 --> 00:13:37,700 Could you possibly tell me... 166 00:13:37,700 --> 00:13:40,300 how to get to the Florida Turnpike? 167 00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:54,600 Thank you, nice ladies. Thank you, you've been very helpful. 168 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:56,300 You dirty old... 169 00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:58,400 I think she said turn left. 170 00:13:58,400 --> 00:14:00,900 I know she said turn left! 171 00:14:00,900 --> 00:14:06,000 I understand the German language enough to understand what she told me! 172 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:13,600 I guess that bought us about a two-and-a-half minute delay. 173 00:14:13,700 --> 00:14:17,700 This is going to be the most fun we ever had with our pants on. 174 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:30,300 Did you remember to take care of the gas tank? 175 00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:33,700 Do bears defecate rurally? 176 00:14:43,900 --> 00:14:45,900 - What's the matter, Daddy? - Gas! 177 00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:48,200 Must be that pizza you had for lunch. 178 00:14:48,300 --> 00:14:51,700 Not my belly, the tank! Didn't you fill it up? 179 00:14:51,900 --> 00:14:55,800 - Well, I thought- - You thought? What the hell did you use? 180 00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:59,500 - It has to be pushed! - We can do that easy, Daddy. 181 00:14:59,500 --> 00:15:03,100 What is that "we" crap? You know I got a double hernia. 182 00:15:03,300 --> 00:15:04,900 You push, I'll steer. 183 00:15:04,900 --> 00:15:07,900 Oh, thank you, Daddy. I knew you'd help me. 184 00:15:13,100 --> 00:15:15,400 He's dumb... 185 00:15:15,500 --> 00:15:17,700 but a loveable shit. 186 00:15:38,300 --> 00:15:40,900 Delays like this are going to kill us. 187 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:45,300 Stopping off for gas, getting caught in traffic jams. 188 00:15:45,300 --> 00:15:48,100 Everything's against us. 189 00:15:50,100 --> 00:15:52,500 Look out for that car, Daddy! 190 00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:59,500 Where's that fool going? 191 00:16:00,100 --> 00:16:02,200 Daddy, he came awful close. 192 00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:05,800 You should never give a dummy like that a license. 193 00:16:08,500 --> 00:16:13,900 Tell that road-hog Rembrandt I'm coming around, and to look out! 194 00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:18,500 Hey, road-hog Rembrandt, look- 195 00:16:20,300 --> 00:16:21,500 Out. 196 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:26,000 We cost them some time there, son. 197 00:16:26,100 --> 00:16:31,000 I wonder how Junior likes life in the dumb lane. 198 00:16:31,900 --> 00:16:35,000 Daddy, my face is all white. 199 00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:39,200 Well, put a little lipstick on, I'll drop you off at a gay bar. 200 00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:45,300 What are we stopping for? 201 00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:50,300 It's time to take out some insurance, teach those county mounties a lesson. 202 00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:53,800 I don't get it. I mean, they certainly lost enough time as it is. 203 00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:55,400 We're winning, ain't we? 204 00:16:55,500 --> 00:16:59,000 We're winning, son, but winning isn't everything. 205 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:02,300 - What is? - Winning dirty, boy. 206 00:17:02,300 --> 00:17:03,400 What's the matter with you? 207 00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:06,500 Sorry, Daddy. I lost my head. 208 00:17:06,500 --> 00:17:10,600 - Shame, Little Enos. - Ashamed, Daddy. 209 00:17:10,700 --> 00:17:13,200 Look, Daddy, here they come. 210 00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:16,900 They're coming, all right. 211 00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:29,000 They put up a roadblock, Daddy. 212 00:17:29,500 --> 00:17:32,100 Daddy. They aren't going to stop! 213 00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:36,400 Hold on tight. This might be a little bumpy. 214 00:17:59,900 --> 00:18:02,500 This was a brilliant idea. 215 00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:06,600 Don't worry, Son. I've got something up my sleeve. 216 00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:09,400 I hope it's a chocolate chip cookie, Daddy. 217 00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:13,600 You can dunk my doughnuts if it ain't a great idea. 218 00:18:15,500 --> 00:18:17,900 It seems to be flooded. 219 00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:20,200 No shit. 220 00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:27,100 Buckle up, Junior, we're going to make a lot of time now! 221 00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:31,000 This is it, son. 222 00:18:31,100 --> 00:18:34,500 I thought from the start this was a one-man job. 223 00:18:34,500 --> 00:18:38,200 There's only one man I know that's never let us down. 224 00:18:38,300 --> 00:18:41,300 Homogenise my hostility! Would you be speaking of- 225 00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:44,400 No, I'm not talking about that egomaniac. 226 00:18:44,500 --> 00:18:47,200 I'm talking about the only one we can really trust: 227 00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:48,300 The Snowman. 228 00:18:48,300 --> 00:18:50,500 Now get me that phone. 229 00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:54,300 That isn't the phone. 230 00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,900 Fred, you don't know what it means having you here. 231 00:19:06,900 --> 00:19:12,200 You're the ugliest. Look at your eyes. Your eyes sag, your ears. Look at that. 232 00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:15,400 Eight yards long. Your lips... And your breath's bad. 233 00:19:15,500 --> 00:19:18,300 The next time I buy them deodorising dog biscuits... 234 00:19:18,300 --> 00:19:19,400 you're going to eat them! 235 00:19:20,700 --> 00:19:22,200 Hang on. 236 00:19:23,500 --> 00:19:26,800 Mule Barn, you got The Snowman. How about- 237 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:31,500 Look, lover boy, I've got $250,000... 238 00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:34,300 with your name on it if you help us out. 239 00:19:34,300 --> 00:19:38,600 Two hundred and fifty... 240 00:19:39,500 --> 00:19:44,500 You mean, I don't have to drive the truck or haul nothing but my ass? 241 00:19:44,700 --> 00:19:46,300 I'm going to be The Bandit. 242 00:19:46,300 --> 00:19:49,900 Do I get to wear the hat? The shirt? 243 00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:52,600 And drive the car! 244 00:19:53,900 --> 00:19:55,300 Now, listen! 245 00:19:55,300 --> 00:19:58,200 I think you just got yourself a Bandit. Bye! 246 00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:00,900 I'm going to be The Bandit! I love it! The Bandit. 247 00:20:00,900 --> 00:20:03,800 Wear the hat, drive the car. I love it. Give me the car. 248 00:20:08,500 --> 00:20:11,900 All right, Mrs. Fernbush, let's remember the procedures. 249 00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:15,100 Look both ways before entering the flow of traffic. 250 00:20:15,100 --> 00:20:18,400 Politeness pays, but look both ways. 251 00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:22,900 Give her a little gas, and let up lightly on the clutch. 252 00:20:40,100 --> 00:20:41,500 Turn right! 253 00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:53,700 What an asshole! 254 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:58,100 Hold on, Dixie Bandit's on the road again 255 00:20:58,500 --> 00:20:59,900 Look out! 256 00:21:03,100 --> 00:21:06,100 I'm going to be The Bandit. I'm going to... 257 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,000 Oh, Fred? 258 00:21:09,100 --> 00:21:12,800 I mashed your doghouse, son, but don't worry. I'll buy you... 259 00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:15,600 Fred, I'll buy you a whole condominium. 260 00:21:15,700 --> 00:21:19,500 Listen, with the money we... Come here, you. 261 00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:24,400 Now go find your fireplug. I'm going to go put on my Bandit clothes. 262 00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:28,500 I'm going to be The Bandit. I'm going to be The Bandit! I love it! 263 00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:47,400 Come on, get after him! Hey, bubba! 264 00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:50,000 This ain't good, man. This ain't good at all. 265 00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:53,400 I'm not scared of these crackers. I'm black and I'm proud. 266 00:21:53,300 --> 00:21:56,500 Three hundred years of experience tells me... 267 00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:59,700 that you aren't being nothing but black and loud. 268 00:22:04,700 --> 00:22:08,700 - You better pull over. - I ain't pulling over for nobody. 269 00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:03,300 We're not making very good time, Daddy. 270 00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:08,000 Well, as soon as I get around Col. Sanders, all that'll change. 271 00:23:16,100 --> 00:23:20,000 What the hell are those Klan clowns doing here? 272 00:23:37,900 --> 00:23:41,200 Here's how you handle the Klan, Junior. 273 00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:02,000 Get out of here, boy! 274 00:24:06,500 --> 00:24:11,400 Lord have mercy! I must have died and gone to heaven! 275 00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:15,700 What goes around comes around! 276 00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:18,100 You ever join the Klan, Daddy? 277 00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:22,200 No chance. But your mama did. 278 00:24:22,300 --> 00:24:27,100 When she put on her sheet, she looked like an iceberg with feet. 279 00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:31,800 The lid is what's going to make the kid. 280 00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:36,400 What do you think, my man? I'm talking bad, Fred. 281 00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:39,700 I mean, you got your Bandit, and then you got... 282 00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:42,500 Pray for that Bandit. How about you, Smokey? 283 00:24:42,500 --> 00:24:44,200 You got them ears on? 284 00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:48,700 Don't look at me like that, Fred. 285 00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:49,800 Fred! 286 00:24:49,900 --> 00:24:53,700 I told you I would love to take you, okay? But I can't take you. 287 00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:56,300 The Bandit didn't have no dog in the car with him! 288 00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:58,500 It just wouldn't look right. 289 00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:01,000 But... Look, Fred. 290 00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:04,000 What if you had your opportunity to be Rin Tin Tin? 291 00:25:04,100 --> 00:25:06,200 You wouldn't say no to that, would you? 292 00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:09,000 No, you wouldn't. I get to be The Bandit. 293 00:25:09,100 --> 00:25:11,900 You want me to have that, don't you? Sure, you do. 294 00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:15,200 You're my buddy. Hey, I knew you was going to be lonesome. 295 00:25:15,300 --> 00:25:17,700 I knew I was going to be gone, so I took care of you. 296 00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:21,000 Now just a minute. Here. Look here what I got for you, Fred. 297 00:25:21,100 --> 00:25:23,900 I got you somebody I want you to meet, Fred. 298 00:25:23,900 --> 00:25:25,700 This is Freda. 299 00:25:29,300 --> 00:25:32,200 There we go. 300 00:25:33,100 --> 00:25:37,100 Freda, Fred. Fred, Freda. 301 00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:40,800 And by the power vested in me, as owner of both of you hounds... 302 00:25:40,900 --> 00:25:43,700 I now pronounce you basset and basset. 303 00:25:43,700 --> 00:25:47,300 Fred, that means you don't have to half-ass it. 304 00:25:48,100 --> 00:25:49,500 You get it? 305 00:25:50,100 --> 00:25:53,200 Excuse me. Listen. I've got work to do. 306 00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:55,300 You all have to entertain yourself... 307 00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:58,200 but The Bandit is gonna go smoke some smokies. 308 00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:18,800 I'll tell you what. You want to see a bandit? 309 00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:22,500 You're looking at a bad bandit. I'm talking bad. 310 00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:32,100 Never should've put me in this thing, brother. 311 00:26:34,500 --> 00:26:37,500 Hear that roar of thunder 312 00:26:38,300 --> 00:26:41,300 Hear those tyres scream 313 00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:44,500 He's every boy's hero 314 00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:47,500 Every lady's dream 315 00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:50,400 Flying down the highway heading west 316 00:26:50,500 --> 00:26:51,300 They love me. 317 00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:56,100 In a streak of black lightning Called the Bandit Express 318 00:26:56,100 --> 00:27:00,400 Look out, The Bandit's comin' Tyres screamin' engine hummin' 319 00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:02,300 Looks like The Bandit's on the move 320 00:27:02,300 --> 00:27:04,300 Bandit, if you could see me now. They love me. 321 00:27:04,300 --> 00:27:07,700 Look out, The Bandit's comin'.. Get your money and warn the women 322 00:27:07,700 --> 00:27:10,400 Tell those smokeys all to take a rest 323 00:27:10,700 --> 00:27:15,200 'Cause they'll never get the Bandit Express 324 00:27:20,500 --> 00:27:22,300 They never learn. 325 00:27:22,900 --> 00:27:26,400 Look out, The Bandit's comin' Get your money and warn the women 326 00:27:26,500 --> 00:27:29,500 Tell those smokeys all to take a rest 327 00:27:29,500 --> 00:27:33,200 'Cause they'll never get the Bandit Express 328 00:27:33,500 --> 00:27:37,900 Whoa, they'll never get the Bandit Express 329 00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:47,500 Junior, I want to tell you an interesting story. 330 00:27:47,700 --> 00:27:52,600 When the Pilgrim Justices landed on the shores of Texas... 331 00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:56,700 some of the male members of the family... 332 00:27:56,700 --> 00:27:59,000 became lawmen. 333 00:27:59,300 --> 00:28:02,900 All of the lawmen of the Justices... 334 00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:05,200 had sixth sense. 335 00:28:05,300 --> 00:28:09,700 - That's too bad. - What's too bad about having sixth sense? 336 00:28:09,700 --> 00:28:12,300 Well, that's not even a dime. 337 00:28:12,800 --> 00:28:15,400 Hi, folks, this is Dusty Trails, speaking to you live... 338 00:28:15,500 --> 00:28:19,100 from Town's Autorama on the corner of Second St. and Washington Blvd. 339 00:28:19,100 --> 00:28:21,100 I hope you're enjoying our million-dollar movie... 340 00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:24,000 and you're going to enjoy hearing from Skip. 341 00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:25,800 Take it away, Skip! 342 00:28:25,900 --> 00:28:29,100 Thank you, Dusty. Isn't she wonderfuI? 343 00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:32,100 Friends, before I forget, don't you forget... 344 00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:35,100 to come out here on Sunday and bring the kids. 345 00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:38,400 'Cause in addition to the best auto values in town... 346 00:28:38,500 --> 00:28:42,900 we're giving away free oatmeaI cookies baked by Dusty herself. 347 00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:46,300 Hard to believe somebody so pretty can cook too, isn't it, friends? 348 00:28:46,300 --> 00:28:48,700 Let's talk about the special of the week. 349 00:28:48,700 --> 00:28:51,900 It's a '76 Mercury Monarch, fully loaded... 350 00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:53,800 but you don't have to be to buy it. 351 00:28:53,900 --> 00:28:58,200 Yes, this low-mileage honey has got new rubber, factory air... 352 00:28:58,200 --> 00:29:03,900 AMIFM stereo and four brand-new shocks that I personally installed myself. 353 00:29:03,900 --> 00:29:06,700 Dusty, why don't you tell them about your cookies... 354 00:29:06,700 --> 00:29:10,000 while I climb up on the hood and demonstrate? 355 00:29:12,300 --> 00:29:15,600 If you really want to save yourself a lot of money and grief... 356 00:29:15,700 --> 00:29:18,200 stay as far away from this dump as you can. 357 00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:21,300 See that fool jumping up on the hood of that car? 358 00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:24,900 That fool wouldn't know a good deal if someone gave him four aces. 359 00:29:24,900 --> 00:29:29,200 When I moved here, I didn't know a soul, so I answered his ad for a bookkeeper. 360 00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:32,400 Should've been for a football player, considering the passes he made at me. 361 00:29:32,500 --> 00:29:35,300 He told me he loved me, needed me, and was leaving his wife. 362 00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:37,400 The only thing he left was fingerprints. 363 00:29:37,500 --> 00:29:39,700 Hell, he had no intention of divorcing his wife. 364 00:29:39,800 --> 00:29:43,100 The only intention he had was conning you people out of a lot of money. 365 00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:46,000 See that special he's jumping on? It's a special, all right. 366 00:29:46,100 --> 00:29:48,800 Just add three zeroes when you check out the mileage. 367 00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:50,600 It used to be a taxi! 368 00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:55,200 This gal is taking a walk on Skip Town, his lies, and his lemons! 369 00:29:55,400 --> 00:29:59,200 Folks, I'm a little irritated. Pardon me. I hope you enjoy the movie. 370 00:29:59,300 --> 00:30:01,600 But I am leaving. Bye! 371 00:30:01,900 --> 00:30:04,300 Dusty, Skip's going to freak when he hears that. 372 00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:06,100 That's his problem! 373 00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:08,400 Good luck, kid! 374 00:30:10,100 --> 00:30:13,800 Hold it! Thank you. 375 00:30:14,800 --> 00:30:16,800 I need a ride. 376 00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:18,800 I hope you're going that way. 377 00:30:18,900 --> 00:30:21,700 I sure am. Go straight ahead. 378 00:30:24,100 --> 00:30:26,300 Look, do you mind if I change my clothes? 379 00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:28,600 Change your... What? In here? 380 00:30:28,700 --> 00:30:30,900 Oh, sure. No problem for me. 381 00:30:30,900 --> 00:30:33,100 - Now? In the car? - Yeah. 382 00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:36,200 You're not going to look. You're not a peeping Tom, are you? 383 00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:39,800 - I'm not... No! - Then there's no problem. 384 00:30:39,900 --> 00:30:43,400 No, you've got your peepers and you've got your non-peepers. 385 00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:48,300 I'm definitely a non-peeper. But the car's a little weird. 386 00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:52,800 It's very important that a lawman has sixth sense. 387 00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:55,100 'Cause then he can anticipate things... 388 00:30:55,100 --> 00:30:57,500 and prevent them from happening. 389 00:30:57,500 --> 00:31:00,400 Even a hound dog has sixth sense. 390 00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:04,300 This is Mother Trucker in the Hawaiian Tropic, on a smokey watch. 391 00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:08,500 Hey, is that you, Bandit? Hey, you're looking good. 392 00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:11,600 This is Bandit One calling. Is that Mama Trucker out there? 393 00:31:11,700 --> 00:31:13,800 Your phone's ringing. 394 00:31:13,900 --> 00:31:15,800 That's a big 10-4, Bandit. 395 00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:18,600 We got smokey on our tail and he's moving fast. 396 00:31:18,700 --> 00:31:22,300 You better come on in, honey. Your patch is ready, teddy. 397 00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:25,400 I heard that. If you're ready, just hold it steady. 398 00:31:25,500 --> 00:31:27,900 I'm coming in. 399 00:31:30,500 --> 00:31:33,300 Cledus, what are we doing under here? 400 00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:35,600 Just getting out of the sun. 401 00:31:36,700 --> 00:31:40,700 Look who just drove by. My. Want to go fishing? 402 00:31:40,700 --> 00:31:42,900 - I'm game. - Let's go. 403 00:31:52,400 --> 00:31:57,100 If some crime is going to be committed, I know it before they start to commit it. 404 00:31:57,200 --> 00:31:59,000 And I can put a stop to it. 405 00:31:59,100 --> 00:32:01,200 If somebody's going to do something to me... 406 00:32:01,300 --> 00:32:04,800 immediately, I know they're doing something to me. 407 00:32:04,900 --> 00:32:08,600 That is why you got to have a sixth sense. 408 00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:11,700 I'd rather have a dime. 409 00:32:18,300 --> 00:32:20,200 Hi, boys! 410 00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:22,300 How do. 411 00:32:22,500 --> 00:32:24,000 Bye, boys! 412 00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:30,200 It's The Bandit! Son of a bitch! 413 00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:31,800 And he's got my fish! 414 00:32:31,800 --> 00:32:37,200 As of this instant, Junior, we're in hot pursuit! 415 00:32:47,300 --> 00:32:52,400 Look who we got down here. I guess we better chat with the old boy. 416 00:32:52,500 --> 00:32:56,200 You take this and just have yourself a conversation with Buford T. 417 00:32:56,300 --> 00:32:58,200 - Go ahead. Go. - What do I do? 418 00:32:58,300 --> 00:33:01,000 You just talk in it. Mash that little thing in and talk. 419 00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:03,700 Hello? Mr. Justice? 420 00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:06,400 How you folks doing down there? 421 00:33:06,400 --> 00:33:08,800 We're doing fine, little lady. 422 00:33:08,900 --> 00:33:13,200 And may I advise you that you're consorting with a criminal. 423 00:33:13,300 --> 00:33:16,800 So when he goes to the slammer, you go, too. 424 00:33:16,900 --> 00:33:18,200 Oh, really? 425 00:33:18,300 --> 00:33:22,700 While you're at it, why don't you take a big dump in your hat! 426 00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:24,700 Hold it! Watch that language. 427 00:33:24,700 --> 00:33:29,100 I happen to have my son in the car. Over and out. 428 00:33:29,300 --> 00:33:32,400 - Thank you, Daddy. - Shut up, shit. 429 00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:48,400 Breaker, breaker, El Bandito, this is Muddy and Sunny. 430 00:33:48,400 --> 00:33:50,300 What's your 20? What's your story? 431 00:33:50,400 --> 00:33:52,700 You want to get that call? I'm a little busy. 432 00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:55,700 Yeah. Hello? 433 00:33:55,700 --> 00:33:59,700 Hello, boys! Yeah, this is the Bandit Mobile calling! 434 00:33:59,700 --> 00:34:02,800 The man here says you're going to get your shark before dark! 435 00:34:02,900 --> 00:34:06,300 Long as you don't get funny with the money. - Who's that? 436 00:34:06,300 --> 00:34:09,800 Probably some floozy he picked up by the side of the road. 437 00:34:10,700 --> 00:34:14,500 Come on, Buford! Bring it on, brother! 438 00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:25,200 I sure wouldn't mind a romp in your melon patch. 439 00:34:28,300 --> 00:34:30,600 What the hell was that? 440 00:34:30,700 --> 00:34:34,000 Sorry, honey. I'll have to get back to you later. 441 00:34:48,700 --> 00:34:53,500 Excuse me, Sheriff. Why don't you just let me handle this situation here? 442 00:34:53,700 --> 00:34:57,200 Pardon me, young man, but you happen to be talking to... 443 00:34:57,300 --> 00:35:00,100 Sheriff Buford T. Justice... 444 00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:03,200 and I'm about to apprehend The Bandit. 445 00:35:03,300 --> 00:35:07,400 Cledus, you attract more fuzz than a fat man's navel. 446 00:35:11,500 --> 00:35:14,800 I wouldn't give a rat's ass if you was J. Edgar Hoover... 447 00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:17,300 and he was Machine Gun Kelly. 448 00:35:17,400 --> 00:35:19,100 You're out of your jurisdiction. 449 00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:21,600 I might be out of my jurisdiction... 450 00:35:21,800 --> 00:35:26,500 ...but you're out of your league. Now back off! 451 00:35:27,500 --> 00:35:32,300 I ain't backing off of nothing, Sheriff. I'm taking charge! 452 00:35:32,700 --> 00:35:35,300 Boy, they're really coming. 453 00:35:35,500 --> 00:35:38,500 I'll tell you what. You just watch. Hang on. 454 00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:56,100 Am I glad I came along on this trip. 455 00:36:45,500 --> 00:36:48,700 I'm surrounded by lunatics. 456 00:37:00,300 --> 00:37:04,000 Sheriff? You might want to forget about losing me... 457 00:37:04,100 --> 00:37:06,400 'cause I'm here for the duration! 458 00:37:30,900 --> 00:37:32,200 Shit! 459 00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:55,400 Far out! 460 00:37:59,100 --> 00:38:03,500 Bandit? You're in a heap of trouble. 461 00:38:04,800 --> 00:38:06,600 Did you see that, Daddy? 462 00:38:06,700 --> 00:38:11,100 That's what happens when you lock horns with beautiful Buford. 463 00:38:28,700 --> 00:38:32,200 Breaker for that Sandbox Man. How about you, Sandbox Man? 464 00:38:32,300 --> 00:38:35,300 The Bandit's ringing your phone, you copy? 465 00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:37,700 Hey, is that you, Bandit? 466 00:38:37,700 --> 00:38:40,300 Looks like you got Smokey on your tail! 467 00:38:40,300 --> 00:38:44,400 Right you are! He's kicking in my back door! Hello? 468 00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:47,000 Bring him by here! We'll take care of that! 469 00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:50,800 I heard that. We're bringing it. Bye. 470 00:38:56,700 --> 00:38:59,800 - Come on, Buford! - He won't give up, will he? 471 00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:17,000 What did I tell you? 472 00:39:18,100 --> 00:39:23,400 You know what happens next, honey? Were gone. Bye, Buford! 473 00:39:32,100 --> 00:39:35,700 Gee, Daddy, this is just like being at the beach. 474 00:39:36,300 --> 00:39:39,600 It's a minor complication. 475 00:39:39,900 --> 00:39:44,900 Nothing's going to stop me from catching that big pile of dragon dump. 476 00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:46,700 And when I do... 477 00:39:46,800 --> 00:39:50,300 I'm going to marinate his walnuts. 478 00:39:50,900 --> 00:39:53,400 Get out and dust off the car. 479 00:39:56,900 --> 00:39:59,400 I don't want to foul up your plans or anything... 480 00:39:59,500 --> 00:40:02,600 but I didn't get any breakfast this morning and I'm half-starved. 481 00:40:02,700 --> 00:40:06,200 Why don't we pull in up here and get us a pound of ground round... 482 00:40:06,300 --> 00:40:08,300 and put it down our neck. 483 00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:10,200 Sounds good. 484 00:40:32,100 --> 00:40:36,100 Listen. I think what we have here is a skull orchard. 485 00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:39,600 Maybe you ought to stay here and let me get the cheeseburgers... 486 00:40:39,700 --> 00:40:43,000 'cause I'm not sure this is a place for ladies. Okay? 487 00:40:45,100 --> 00:40:49,100 Cledus, make those burgers rare. It'll go quicker. 488 00:40:54,100 --> 00:40:58,200 Nice looking set of wheels. How are you doing, my man? 489 00:40:58,500 --> 00:41:01,500 Yeah. Question's too hard, I guess. 490 00:41:01,900 --> 00:41:05,300 Rare, Cledus. Make them real rare, okay? 491 00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:07,900 Rare. She wants it rare? I'm going to get it so rare... 492 00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:10,400 a good vet. could have it on its feet in 15 minutes. 493 00:41:10,500 --> 00:41:12,700 What do you think? 494 00:41:13,900 --> 00:41:16,300 I didn't mean to wake you up. 495 00:41:22,500 --> 00:41:25,000 So long, cowboy! 496 00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:34,900 Was that with or without onions? 497 00:41:34,900 --> 00:41:36,700 Onions. 498 00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:40,100 With onions. Yeah, with onions. 499 00:41:40,200 --> 00:41:42,800 Be right back. Yes, sir. 500 00:41:48,200 --> 00:41:52,700 We didn't discuss this earlier, but do you want a large, small, or medium drink? 501 00:41:52,800 --> 00:41:55,400 - Extra large. - Extra large. 502 00:41:55,700 --> 00:41:57,600 Be right back. 503 00:42:05,800 --> 00:42:08,300 Go get him, Jimmy! 504 00:42:09,200 --> 00:42:12,000 Well, I guess we ruined your whole day didn't we? 505 00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:15,000 How about some onion rings, honey? They got- 506 00:42:19,600 --> 00:42:21,900 See? And you remember- 507 00:42:29,800 --> 00:42:33,900 Let that be a lesson to you. They're sacking them up right now. 508 00:42:34,400 --> 00:42:36,300 - Get him! - Thank you, my man. 509 00:42:38,700 --> 00:42:39,800 What an animal! 510 00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:41,300 See you. 511 00:42:42,900 --> 00:42:45,400 One cheeseburger for the lady. 512 00:42:47,100 --> 00:42:50,600 Well, all right, my man. Thank you. 513 00:42:51,200 --> 00:42:54,200 Hey, Cledus, you forgot the mustard. 514 00:42:54,400 --> 00:42:58,800 I forgot the mustard. Women. Sit down. 515 00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:03,900 Me and you gone, like a big caboose. 516 00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:06,300 See you! 517 00:43:15,100 --> 00:43:17,900 Breaker, breaker, Mr. Bandit. 518 00:43:18,100 --> 00:43:20,500 You might as well give up the ghost. 519 00:43:20,700 --> 00:43:25,400 'Cause I'm staying with you like stink on a skunk. 520 00:43:25,400 --> 00:43:27,300 Here he comes. 521 00:43:27,400 --> 00:43:29,400 We got him now, Daddy. 522 00:43:33,100 --> 00:43:35,300 Watch out for those eggs! 523 00:43:40,900 --> 00:43:43,300 We almost scrambled some eggs back there. 524 00:43:43,400 --> 00:43:46,600 Well, see, I was hoping for a Buford omelette. 525 00:43:58,000 --> 00:43:59,500 We lost him. 526 00:43:59,500 --> 00:44:04,100 Talent and pure intelligence will always triumph over ignorance- 527 00:44:10,700 --> 00:44:13,300 He may be dumb, but he ain't scared. 528 00:44:19,700 --> 00:44:21,500 Oh, dang it! 529 00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:27,500 Not again! 530 00:44:36,500 --> 00:44:40,300 - He's still coming! - I'm going as fast as I can! 531 00:44:42,700 --> 00:44:45,200 You should've turned right, Daddy. 532 00:44:51,300 --> 00:44:54,800 My flowers! Look what they did to my flowers. 533 00:45:24,600 --> 00:45:25,800 God! 534 00:45:30,700 --> 00:45:34,500 What the hell are you trying to do, you homicidal idiot? 535 00:45:34,600 --> 00:45:37,200 Back up and get the hell out of here! 536 00:45:37,300 --> 00:45:39,700 It's kind of a tight alley. I'm gonna need some help. 537 00:45:39,800 --> 00:45:42,800 - No problem. I'll direct you. - If you say so. 538 00:45:42,800 --> 00:45:45,000 Okay, back up. 539 00:45:46,800 --> 00:45:49,700 That's it. You're in the clear here. 540 00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:53,600 You're in the clear there. 541 00:45:53,600 --> 00:45:56,000 Keep going. You're in the clear. 542 00:45:58,400 --> 00:45:59,900 Clear on this side. 543 00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:02,600 Clear on that side. Clear on- 544 00:46:02,600 --> 00:46:04,700 - Daddy? - Shut up! 545 00:46:05,100 --> 00:46:08,100 Clear on this side. Back it up there. 546 00:46:08,500 --> 00:46:10,800 - But, Daddy! - Shut up, shit! 547 00:46:10,900 --> 00:46:13,800 You're all clear now. Whip on out. 548 00:46:18,800 --> 00:46:23,100 Now, do you see, what you did with your "Daddy". 549 00:46:23,400 --> 00:46:26,200 But, Daddy, look! 550 00:46:29,300 --> 00:46:32,900 Hold it! 551 00:46:33,500 --> 00:46:36,000 Just what are you trying to do, nice lady? 552 00:46:36,100 --> 00:46:39,000 I'm about to tow this car to the garage. 553 00:46:39,200 --> 00:46:41,600 And may I inquire why? 554 00:46:41,600 --> 00:46:44,500 It's parked illegally and creating a fire hazard. 555 00:46:44,600 --> 00:46:46,900 And it's one big piece of crap. 556 00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:52,400 May I say, madam, that you are talking to Buford T. Justice. 557 00:46:52,400 --> 00:46:56,000 I wouldn't care if you were Sugar Ray Leonard. 558 00:46:56,700 --> 00:46:59,100 Come on, Charlie, let's pull out. 559 00:46:59,200 --> 00:47:01,900 You woman's lib sumbitch. 560 00:47:03,900 --> 00:47:06,200 Get up there and unhook it. 561 00:47:12,100 --> 00:47:15,300 Unhook it! I'm putting it in reverse! 562 00:47:15,300 --> 00:47:18,300 It's too heavy, Daddy. 563 00:47:20,200 --> 00:47:25,600 I can't get any traction. Unhook it. I'm gonna give it all it's got! 564 00:47:31,600 --> 00:47:36,200 - Oh, shit, Charlie! He's getting away. - No, he's not. 565 00:47:36,700 --> 00:47:39,100 Get that sucker off! 566 00:47:47,000 --> 00:47:49,600 Wait, Daddy! Wait for me! 567 00:47:50,800 --> 00:47:53,600 I'm right behind you. Don't leave me. 568 00:47:53,900 --> 00:47:55,700 Wait, Daddy. 569 00:47:59,000 --> 00:48:01,900 Wait, Daddy. Wait for me, Daddy. 570 00:48:04,400 --> 00:48:06,600 I'm getting dizzy, Daddy. 571 00:48:09,900 --> 00:48:11,500 Wait, Daddy. 572 00:48:14,700 --> 00:48:18,100 - Look! You were going so fast! - I'm sorry. 573 00:48:18,200 --> 00:48:21,300 You came around the corner here, I couldn't get out of the way. 574 00:48:21,300 --> 00:48:24,600 - Young man, how old are you? - Are you all right, ma'am? 575 00:48:24,700 --> 00:48:26,300 I'm trying to look at my car! 576 00:48:26,400 --> 00:48:28,200 Do you know who my husband is? 577 00:48:28,300 --> 00:48:30,200 Hold it, Daddy. 578 00:48:30,300 --> 00:48:32,700 I think I'm falling. 579 00:49:04,300 --> 00:49:08,300 Well, nice lady, it looks like we meet again. 580 00:49:08,400 --> 00:49:11,400 Would you please call a tow truck? 581 00:49:11,700 --> 00:49:15,200 Not if you were Sugar Ray Leonard. 582 00:49:15,500 --> 00:49:19,200 Would you look around in that junk and see if my son's in there? 583 00:49:20,000 --> 00:49:21,500 Here I am, Daddy. 584 00:49:21,600 --> 00:49:25,000 Would you stop playing with your coconuts and get in the car? 585 00:49:25,100 --> 00:49:26,300 Okay. 586 00:49:39,500 --> 00:49:44,200 Okay, folks, we welcome you all to the Joie Chitwood Thrill Show. 587 00:49:44,200 --> 00:49:46,700 We're readying the wall of fire right now. 588 00:49:46,700 --> 00:49:49,000 There are thrills and chills galore. 589 00:49:49,100 --> 00:49:52,100 And as the wall of fire is getting ready- 590 00:49:54,500 --> 00:49:57,100 The crowd's really getting excited at this point. 591 00:49:57,200 --> 00:49:59,800 I don't blame them one bit. Wait a minute! 592 00:49:59,900 --> 00:50:01,900 I think we've got a surprise visitor. 593 00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:06,200 Yes, we've got The Bandit making a guest appearance here... 594 00:50:06,300 --> 00:50:09,400 at the Joie Chitwood Thrill Show. 595 00:50:12,100 --> 00:50:14,600 - Where are we, Daddy? - Indianapolis. 596 00:50:14,700 --> 00:50:16,700 How the hell do I know where we are? 597 00:50:25,100 --> 00:50:28,900 - Daddy, I'm scared. - I know. I can smell it. 598 00:50:29,100 --> 00:50:31,900 And right into a couple of demolition cars there. 599 00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:35,400 Buford Justice, coming around behind The Bandit. 600 00:50:40,700 --> 00:50:43,700 The nuthouse must be having a picnic! 601 00:50:45,000 --> 00:50:47,500 - Look out, Daddy. - Don't tell me to look out! 602 00:50:47,600 --> 00:50:50,800 - Tell them to look out! - Look out! 603 00:50:50,900 --> 00:50:54,300 Four tough guys out there. 604 00:50:59,100 --> 00:51:01,000 Listen to those people! 605 00:51:01,100 --> 00:51:03,800 They think I did that on purpose. They love me! 606 00:51:03,800 --> 00:51:06,400 Hi there! Hey, you all! 607 00:51:08,500 --> 00:51:11,200 Cledus. We got to go. 608 00:51:11,300 --> 00:51:13,800 - My people! - We gotta go. Bye! 609 00:51:14,400 --> 00:51:16,100 Here we go! 610 00:51:23,500 --> 00:51:25,500 What the hell is happening? 611 00:51:25,600 --> 00:51:28,400 Climb out the window, Junior, and weigh the car down. 612 00:51:28,500 --> 00:51:29,700 Yes, Daddy. 613 00:51:36,300 --> 00:51:40,200 - There's lots of people out here. - Well, push, Junior, push! 614 00:51:40,300 --> 00:51:41,400 Damn! 615 00:51:41,500 --> 00:51:44,400 I'm trying, Daddy. My foot's stuck. 616 00:51:44,500 --> 00:51:46,800 I'll release it. 617 00:51:48,100 --> 00:51:51,900 You're killing your daddy! 618 00:51:53,100 --> 00:51:55,500 Get back in the damn car! 619 00:51:55,700 --> 00:51:57,500 Yes, Daddy. 620 00:51:58,100 --> 00:52:00,800 They ain't coming down. I think they- 621 00:52:03,200 --> 00:52:06,100 Tell them to get out of my way! I'm coming through! 622 00:52:06,100 --> 00:52:09,700 He's getting awful close. Straighten out. 623 00:52:10,800 --> 00:52:13,400 Daddy, we're going into a big hole. 624 00:52:13,400 --> 00:52:15,700 Hole, hell! That's a cannon! 625 00:52:27,900 --> 00:52:30,600 What the heck is all this? 626 00:52:30,700 --> 00:52:32,700 Well, the bridge is out. 627 00:52:33,100 --> 00:52:35,500 Well, what do you think The Bandit would do? 628 00:52:35,500 --> 00:52:39,200 He'd just jump it. See, but The Bandit will jump anything. 629 00:52:39,300 --> 00:52:42,300 Get it? But I ain't interested in jumping no river... 630 00:52:42,400 --> 00:52:44,600 I wanna go to sleep. I'm tired. 631 00:52:44,700 --> 00:52:47,800 - I saw a motel right down the road. - Can you find it? 632 00:52:47,800 --> 00:52:50,400 - Sure can. - We are gone. 633 00:52:56,800 --> 00:52:58,800 Well, good job! 634 00:52:58,800 --> 00:53:02,700 You gotta try and do the same thing when the sheriff gets here. 635 00:53:02,700 --> 00:53:05,300 That won't be hard, on account of Sheriff Justice has only got... 636 00:53:05,400 --> 00:53:07,800 a child's portion of intellect. 637 00:53:07,800 --> 00:53:11,400 Come on! This is gonna be a ton of fun, son. 638 00:53:11,400 --> 00:53:13,200 Pleasure doing business with you! 639 00:53:15,700 --> 00:53:18,800 Okay! Your turn. 640 00:53:22,100 --> 00:53:23,900 I didn't wash the fish. 641 00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:25,900 Left you... 642 00:53:26,100 --> 00:53:28,000 plenty of hot water. 643 00:53:28,100 --> 00:53:30,200 Come on, here. 644 00:53:30,200 --> 00:53:33,000 $250,000 boy! 645 00:53:33,200 --> 00:53:35,200 I'll get you to... 646 00:53:36,500 --> 00:53:38,200 Yeah, okay. 647 00:53:41,800 --> 00:53:44,400 I'll buy Fred a... 648 00:53:45,000 --> 00:53:49,200 This is a strange thing. 649 00:53:55,200 --> 00:53:57,500 This is... Oh. 650 00:53:57,700 --> 00:53:59,900 Oh. Well. 651 00:54:07,100 --> 00:54:10,400 - What is it, Daddy? - There's The Bandit's car. 652 00:54:10,500 --> 00:54:13,900 He probably checked into the motel with that broad. 653 00:54:13,900 --> 00:54:15,500 And he's got the fish with him. 654 00:54:15,600 --> 00:54:19,100 Now, when he's fooling around and thinking of other things... 655 00:54:19,200 --> 00:54:23,200 - ...we can snatch the fish. - Thinking of what other things? 656 00:54:23,300 --> 00:54:26,700 You're getting to me. Just play with your crayons. 657 00:54:34,300 --> 00:54:38,800 Daddy, we just walked by a penicillin dispenser. 658 00:54:38,900 --> 00:54:44,500 Yeah. I feel like the guest of honour at a crabs convention. 659 00:54:46,900 --> 00:54:49,600 I'm on the floor. 660 00:54:51,400 --> 00:54:53,700 I'm on the floor. 661 00:54:57,400 --> 00:55:01,000 You be sure to turn out the lights, now, when you come in here, right? 662 00:55:01,100 --> 00:55:03,200 - Right. - Yes, ma'am. 663 00:55:06,300 --> 00:55:08,300 Good night. 664 00:55:12,400 --> 00:55:16,000 What the hell is this, another raid? I paid the Captain two nights ago! 665 00:55:16,000 --> 00:55:17,600 This isn't a raid. 666 00:55:17,700 --> 00:55:22,200 I'm here on official business. I'm going to make an investigation. 667 00:55:22,300 --> 00:55:25,700 Now you just go ahead and read your Gonad Gazette. 668 00:55:28,700 --> 00:55:30,300 And here we are in a motel... 669 00:55:30,400 --> 00:55:32,700 with nothing but a few potted plants between us... 670 00:55:32,800 --> 00:55:35,300 but I know I don't have to worry one bit. 671 00:55:35,300 --> 00:55:37,600 No, Cledus, I know you're the kind of man... 672 00:55:37,600 --> 00:55:38,800 who has the kind of character... 673 00:55:38,900 --> 00:55:42,100 who does not hop into bed with just anybody. 674 00:55:44,000 --> 00:55:46,300 Right, Cledus? 675 00:55:57,600 --> 00:56:00,200 Oh, no, you don't! 676 00:56:28,600 --> 00:56:30,300 - Who's in there, Daddy? - I don't know... 677 00:56:30,400 --> 00:56:32,900 ...but it's not Jacques Cousteau. 678 00:56:38,600 --> 00:56:42,300 - What's going on? - Some kind of union meeting. 679 00:56:49,900 --> 00:56:52,900 Get away from there before you get a herpes on you. 680 00:56:54,300 --> 00:56:57,000 Daddy. Like you said. 681 00:56:57,700 --> 00:57:00,000 Make a wish. 682 00:57:00,100 --> 00:57:01,500 Yeah! 683 00:57:01,600 --> 00:57:03,400 Oh, geez! 684 00:57:04,200 --> 00:57:06,200 Oh! 685 00:57:08,600 --> 00:57:10,400 Oh, no boys. 686 00:57:10,400 --> 00:57:13,800 - Leave my daughter alone! - What's the rubber glove for? 687 00:57:13,900 --> 00:57:16,400 You let my daughter alone! 688 00:57:18,000 --> 00:57:22,700 Daddy, there's a fish that looks exactly like our fish! 689 00:57:25,300 --> 00:57:30,300 That is our fish, you moose twit! Grab it! 690 00:57:38,300 --> 00:57:42,400 Hey, making it with a fish! 691 00:57:42,400 --> 00:57:44,600 Crazy! 692 00:57:47,700 --> 00:57:52,000 Just like the Bible says, Sodom and Gomorrah. 693 00:57:58,600 --> 00:58:00,300 The Bandit! 694 00:58:00,400 --> 00:58:04,900 We can kill two possums with one rock. Come on. 695 00:58:20,200 --> 00:58:23,500 - I got you. - I got you. 696 00:58:24,300 --> 00:58:28,000 Now, wait a minute, ma'am. What the hell are you doing in there... 697 00:58:28,100 --> 00:58:30,300 all dressed up with a cowboy hat on? 698 00:58:30,400 --> 00:58:34,200 I'm getting all hot and bothered for the evening, darling. 699 00:58:35,700 --> 00:58:38,000 - Come along with me. - You got it! 700 00:58:38,600 --> 00:58:42,600 - Give me the key, Junior. - I left it in the car. 701 00:58:43,000 --> 00:58:47,600 - You left the key in the car? - If I keep it with me, I might lose it. 702 00:58:47,600 --> 00:58:49,800 We gotta stay hooked up for a little while longer. 703 00:58:49,900 --> 00:58:51,700 This is getting- 704 00:58:54,500 --> 00:58:56,700 Good heavens. 705 00:58:58,100 --> 00:58:59,700 We can't get out that way. 706 00:58:59,800 --> 00:59:02,600 There must be some other way out of this joint. 707 00:59:02,700 --> 00:59:05,100 Maybe there's a window in the bathroom. 708 00:59:05,100 --> 00:59:06,500 Let's find out. 709 00:59:09,100 --> 00:59:12,800 - Wait will you! My hat! - The hell with the hat. 710 00:59:12,800 --> 00:59:16,200 Just perfect. Open up the window a little bit. 711 00:59:20,600 --> 00:59:24,700 - You're pulling my arm off! - I can't help it, darling! 712 00:59:24,700 --> 00:59:28,800 All right, get on your back. Turn around and get on your back. 713 00:59:29,000 --> 00:59:30,500 That's it. 714 00:59:31,300 --> 00:59:33,800 Now start to wiggle out. 715 00:59:34,100 --> 00:59:36,800 That's it, wiggle. Keep wiggling. 716 00:59:36,900 --> 00:59:40,700 I can't do it unless you come with me, darling. 717 00:59:40,900 --> 00:59:43,400 Will you get out of the way? 718 00:59:48,200 --> 00:59:50,200 I can't- 719 00:59:52,900 --> 00:59:54,900 - God! - Mama's not gonna like this. 720 00:59:55,000 --> 00:59:59,900 Junior! Open the window up and give me a push! 721 01:00:06,700 --> 01:00:09,000 All clear, Daddy? 722 01:00:09,100 --> 01:00:11,200 Good. Here comes the fish! 723 01:00:18,100 --> 01:00:21,500 Daddy, I think I should get the key now. 724 01:00:21,500 --> 01:00:23,200 No shit. 725 01:00:23,900 --> 01:00:26,400 Come on, we gotta get out of here. 726 01:00:26,400 --> 01:00:28,700 Watch out for that guy with the- 727 01:00:28,700 --> 01:00:30,900 Oh, we gotta get out of this! 728 01:00:31,000 --> 01:00:33,600 I'm sorry things didn't turn out the way we expected. 729 01:00:33,600 --> 01:00:36,200 - Especially you getting the big guy. - Don't talk to me. 730 01:00:36,200 --> 01:00:38,300 - What's the matter? - I'm trying to remember his number. 731 01:00:38,500 --> 01:00:41,900 We got to get out of these dresses and get back to business. 732 01:00:42,000 --> 01:00:46,100 Let's see, was it 555-1414? 733 01:00:46,500 --> 01:00:50,700 - Okay. - Or 555-4141? 734 01:00:55,700 --> 01:01:00,400 You're killing your daddy! Get in the damn car! 735 01:01:00,600 --> 01:01:04,100 555-1415? 736 01:01:08,700 --> 01:01:12,400 Just slide it in and come in after it. 737 01:01:15,700 --> 01:01:18,300 Take that fish out of my mouth! 738 01:01:19,300 --> 01:01:22,100 Just slide it- God damn it! 739 01:01:22,200 --> 01:01:24,400 Let me have it! 740 01:01:26,500 --> 01:01:28,500 Now close the door. 741 01:01:34,700 --> 01:01:36,400 Very nice, Junior. 742 01:01:36,600 --> 01:01:38,400 That was very nice. 743 01:01:38,600 --> 01:01:41,300 You know, when this is all over... 744 01:01:41,600 --> 01:01:44,800 I'm gonna buy you a nice lobotomy. 745 01:01:45,100 --> 01:01:46,200 Thank you, Daddy! 746 01:02:01,500 --> 01:02:05,300 Come on, let's give him a taste of the old Enos devil darts. 747 01:02:06,700 --> 01:02:09,300 These suckers are deadlier than your breath. 748 01:02:09,400 --> 01:02:12,500 Here they come. Get ready. 749 01:02:17,500 --> 01:02:21,500 Done like a true pygmy! 750 01:02:23,100 --> 01:02:26,200 - Great! - That'll be a 20-minute delay. 751 01:02:26,300 --> 01:02:28,000 Yeah, at least. 752 01:02:32,900 --> 01:02:35,000 I'm really sorry about that fish, Cledus... 753 01:02:35,100 --> 01:02:38,000 but I had no idea there were fish robbers in the area. 754 01:02:38,000 --> 01:02:41,400 What if The Bandit had lost the fish? What would he do? 755 01:02:41,700 --> 01:02:45,400 - The Bandit would get it back. - That's what we're gonna do. 756 01:02:45,500 --> 01:02:47,200 It's flat, Daddy. 757 01:02:48,900 --> 01:02:51,700 Flatter than your mama's chest. 758 01:02:55,600 --> 01:02:59,200 - It's flat, too, Daddy. - I know that, you pig bladder! 759 01:02:59,600 --> 01:03:05,000 Well, let's see if we can find a nice citizen with a couple of tyres. 760 01:03:11,200 --> 01:03:14,200 What does that look like down there on top of that car? 761 01:03:14,300 --> 01:03:16,600 Looks like a fish to me. 762 01:03:16,700 --> 01:03:20,100 Told you The Bandit always gets his fish. 763 01:03:24,400 --> 01:03:27,900 Where are you, Justice when we need you the most 764 01:03:29,300 --> 01:03:32,900 Where are you, Justice when we need you the most 765 01:03:35,800 --> 01:03:37,400 Listen. 766 01:03:38,500 --> 01:03:41,000 I'm going to get the fish while Buford's gone. 767 01:03:41,100 --> 01:03:44,900 Now, be ready to get out of here real quick. I'll be right back. 768 01:03:51,700 --> 01:03:54,600 - What did I tell you? - You got him. 769 01:03:54,600 --> 01:03:56,600 Well, when The Bandit goes fishing... 770 01:03:56,700 --> 01:03:58,400 The Bandit goes fishing. 771 01:03:58,400 --> 01:03:59,800 Put this down in there. 772 01:04:03,200 --> 01:04:06,000 Daddy, our fish is gone! 773 01:04:09,200 --> 01:04:12,800 Well, I guess that yanks my chain. 774 01:04:13,000 --> 01:04:15,500 Junior, it's hopeless. 775 01:04:15,500 --> 01:04:16,900 What do you mean, Daddy? 776 01:04:17,000 --> 01:04:21,500 I can't believe that it all ends like this... 777 01:04:21,700 --> 01:04:24,400 that this is my last hot pursuit... 778 01:04:24,400 --> 01:04:30,400 all on account of a couple of lousy flat tyres and a fish that flew the coop. 779 01:04:30,800 --> 01:04:33,200 Is he gonna be shocked. Listen. 780 01:04:33,300 --> 01:04:36,600 I'm saying that it's time to pee on the fire... 781 01:04:36,700 --> 01:04:40,300 call in the dogs, turn off my siren... 782 01:04:40,400 --> 01:04:42,400 switch off my lights... 783 01:04:42,900 --> 01:04:46,600 and return to my old rocking chair. 784 01:04:46,600 --> 01:04:49,300 Daddy, you mean I won't be... 785 01:04:49,400 --> 01:04:52,400 your little tick turd anymore? 786 01:04:56,000 --> 01:05:00,100 Son, you'll always be my tick turd. 787 01:05:01,800 --> 01:05:04,200 Do you believe that? 788 01:05:07,300 --> 01:05:09,400 I love you, Daddy... 789 01:05:09,700 --> 01:05:12,800 even if you can't catch the bad guys anymore... 790 01:05:13,200 --> 01:05:17,500 even if you're a total failure and the laughingstock of Texas... 791 01:05:17,500 --> 01:05:21,700 even if Little Enos is gonna get your badge. I don't care. I still- 792 01:05:21,800 --> 01:05:24,600 Shut up, you barrel of monkey nuts! 793 01:05:24,700 --> 01:05:29,500 Nobody gets the badge of Sheriff Buford T. Justice! 794 01:05:32,100 --> 01:05:35,700 - Hi, babycakes! - The return of Frankenstein. 795 01:05:35,700 --> 01:05:38,000 Daddy, it's The Bandit! 796 01:05:43,100 --> 01:05:44,500 Get in the car, Junior. 797 01:05:44,600 --> 01:05:48,000 I don't need any tyres to catch that box of manure! 798 01:05:48,100 --> 01:05:50,800 But, Bu, what about me? 799 01:05:51,000 --> 01:05:55,300 I'm interested in pursuit, not party time. 800 01:06:13,600 --> 01:06:18,200 - Bu Baby! - I told you, you flying flamingo... 801 01:06:18,300 --> 01:06:20,400 ...my name is not Bu Baby! 802 01:06:20,500 --> 01:06:23,100 - It's Buford T- - Shut up! 803 01:06:23,200 --> 01:06:26,200 I got a felon in front of me, a fool in the family... 804 01:06:26,300 --> 01:06:29,700 and a giant nymphomaniac on the roof. 805 01:06:30,200 --> 01:06:33,900 The burden of it all is dragging my ass. 806 01:06:34,000 --> 01:06:39,000 I love it when you talk dirty, darling! Oh, baby! 807 01:06:42,500 --> 01:06:44,900 Move it, little dogies. 808 01:06:49,700 --> 01:06:53,800 Daddy, look at all the cattle. What if we hit one? 809 01:06:53,900 --> 01:06:57,300 He gets to be a Big Mac ahead of all the others. 810 01:06:57,600 --> 01:07:00,200 Are those real cowboys, Daddy? 811 01:07:02,000 --> 01:07:04,700 Look out for the baby cow, Daddy. 812 01:07:13,100 --> 01:07:17,700 - We gave them a bum steer. - There's only two hours left. 813 01:07:17,800 --> 01:07:19,900 Come on, we got to get to the ranch. 814 01:07:20,100 --> 01:07:22,400 - Boy, we're lost now. - We're not lost! 815 01:07:22,900 --> 01:07:25,000 Well, where are we going? 816 01:07:26,200 --> 01:07:29,700 - Down this road. - Oh. Okay. 817 01:07:45,700 --> 01:07:48,600 Cledus, looks like "down this road" was a dead end. 818 01:07:48,600 --> 01:07:52,600 Not if you can drive a boat, it ain't. Watch this. 819 01:08:06,400 --> 01:08:08,500 You stay here and watch the evidence. 820 01:08:08,600 --> 01:08:12,700 When I grab his ass, it's gonna be the gravy on my grits. 821 01:08:13,800 --> 01:08:15,800 Oops! I'm sorry, ma'am. 822 01:08:15,900 --> 01:08:17,700 Out of my way! 823 01:08:18,100 --> 01:08:20,400 - Out of my way! - Hey! 824 01:08:23,200 --> 01:08:27,300 That's what you get for obstructing justice. 825 01:08:28,300 --> 01:08:33,100 - Follow that sumbitch! - Yes, sir. You're the boss. 826 01:08:34,100 --> 01:08:36,900 My groin! 827 01:08:37,000 --> 01:08:39,600 You're grinding my groin! 828 01:08:40,300 --> 01:08:41,600 Bu Baby! 829 01:08:47,200 --> 01:08:48,900 My baby! Bu! 830 01:08:50,300 --> 01:08:51,600 Bu! 831 01:08:55,400 --> 01:08:57,000 Come on, Buford! 832 01:08:57,100 --> 01:08:58,600 Turn right! 833 01:09:02,200 --> 01:09:04,400 I got him now! 834 01:09:12,000 --> 01:09:14,500 Look out! He's a maniac! 835 01:09:19,400 --> 01:09:21,300 Bring it on, brother! 836 01:09:21,600 --> 01:09:25,000 Are you sure you know what the hell you're doing? 837 01:09:25,100 --> 01:09:28,600 - Shit! - Sorry about that. 838 01:09:31,400 --> 01:09:32,900 Hi! 839 01:09:34,200 --> 01:09:37,100 - Oh, hi. - We're having a picnic over there... 840 01:09:37,400 --> 01:09:42,600 - and if you'd like, feel free to join us. - I'd sure like to. But I can't. 841 01:09:42,800 --> 01:09:46,500 Oh, well, if you change your mind, just come on over. 842 01:09:46,600 --> 01:09:50,500 See, my daddy said I had to stay right here and keep an eye on... 843 01:09:51,100 --> 01:09:52,500 things. 844 01:10:05,100 --> 01:10:09,200 Holy shit! 845 01:10:27,200 --> 01:10:30,400 Oh, mama, we gone! 846 01:10:30,700 --> 01:10:33,900 - Nice going, Cledus. - I'm telling you. Here he comes! 847 01:10:38,400 --> 01:10:41,000 - Follow him! - This boat won't do that. 848 01:10:41,000 --> 01:10:45,300 Don't argue with the law! Follow that sumbitch! 849 01:10:45,500 --> 01:10:47,500 Okay, you asked for it. 850 01:11:00,500 --> 01:11:04,700 - What is the world coming to? - Here, let me help you. 851 01:11:07,000 --> 01:11:09,200 Are you all right? 852 01:11:12,700 --> 01:11:14,700 What's wrong, Sheriff? 853 01:11:14,800 --> 01:11:18,300 I ain't seen anything like that since I was a little baby. 854 01:11:18,300 --> 01:11:21,400 You wanna stay, Sheriff, you'll have to take your clothes off. 855 01:11:21,500 --> 01:11:25,600 I don't even take my clothes off in front of my good wife Wilhelmina. 856 01:11:30,000 --> 01:11:32,000 Give me the good old days... 857 01:11:32,000 --> 01:11:36,600 when a pair of boobs were a couple of dumb guys. 858 01:11:40,800 --> 01:11:44,900 - Junior. - Oh, hi. This is a great picnic. 859 01:11:44,900 --> 01:11:48,200 Yeah, but there goes your daddy, and he's mad. 860 01:11:49,500 --> 01:11:51,200 I gotta go. 861 01:11:52,400 --> 01:11:54,200 My clothes. Thanks. 862 01:11:54,300 --> 01:11:58,100 Col. Enos, they're approaching in a westerly direction. 863 01:12:00,700 --> 01:12:03,900 They're coming through. I told you they'd take the short cut. 864 01:12:04,000 --> 01:12:08,000 Daddy, when you plot skulduggery, you plot skulduggery. 865 01:12:08,000 --> 01:12:12,100 Well, my IQ is a little bigger than my hat size, Son. 866 01:12:15,100 --> 01:12:17,100 Daddy, there's The Bandit! 867 01:12:18,000 --> 01:12:21,600 Now we're gonna close in on that hog butt! 868 01:12:21,700 --> 01:12:24,200 Col. Enos calling Private Enos. 869 01:12:24,300 --> 01:12:27,300 - Do you read me? - Yeah, Grandpa. I can hear you. 870 01:12:27,400 --> 01:12:31,200 - All right, are you ready? - Yes, sir, Col. Grandpa, sir! 871 01:12:32,800 --> 01:12:35,700 Okay, now get set. 872 01:12:35,900 --> 01:12:39,100 Hold it. 873 01:12:40,000 --> 01:12:42,800 Okay, girl, let her rip! 874 01:12:47,600 --> 01:12:52,000 - Daddy, what's all that noise? - The car's backfiring! 875 01:12:52,100 --> 01:12:55,200 Somebody's shooting off bombs back there. 876 01:12:58,100 --> 01:13:00,500 - It's them Enos boys. - Who are they? 877 01:13:00,600 --> 01:13:04,100 They are the inventors of dirty pool. 878 01:13:11,500 --> 01:13:14,200 Get set. Now! 879 01:13:31,100 --> 01:13:33,400 Daddy. 880 01:13:34,000 --> 01:13:37,000 Thunderbutt got through. 881 01:13:37,000 --> 01:13:42,300 - What happened, Daddy? - I guess we blew another goddamn tyre! 882 01:13:42,600 --> 01:13:44,600 Bring us down, girls. 883 01:13:44,800 --> 01:13:47,400 How could that be? 884 01:13:52,100 --> 01:13:54,000 Man, oh, man! 885 01:13:54,100 --> 01:13:57,800 Holy Buddha, those suckers are flying! 886 01:13:58,200 --> 01:14:00,600 Yeah, Daddy, I'm not bored anymore. 887 01:14:00,700 --> 01:14:03,900 This is more fun than being snowed in at a cathouse, you know. 888 01:14:03,900 --> 01:14:08,200 Let's get back to the ranch, Son. I don't wanna miss how this thing turns out. 889 01:14:10,900 --> 01:14:15,000 Cledus, you're not gonna hit that gate? 890 01:14:15,000 --> 01:14:17,100 That gate is gone. 891 01:14:31,800 --> 01:14:35,100 - Oh! - Oh, my aching head. 892 01:14:37,800 --> 01:14:40,300 Will you get in the car, Junior? 893 01:14:40,400 --> 01:14:44,700 This is no time for any of your funny high jinks. 894 01:14:44,800 --> 01:14:49,900 I'm sorry, Daddy. I must've forgotten the seat belt. 895 01:15:04,500 --> 01:15:08,100 Is it my imagination, or are you slowing down? 896 01:15:08,400 --> 01:15:09,900 Maybe. 897 01:15:10,400 --> 01:15:12,400 Let me put it to you this way: 898 01:15:12,500 --> 01:15:15,400 What good would the Road Runner be without the Coyote? 899 01:15:15,500 --> 01:15:18,700 What good would the fox be without the hound, right? 900 01:15:19,200 --> 01:15:22,600 And can you have a bandit if you ain't got a smokey? 901 01:15:22,600 --> 01:15:25,700 - Not really. - Well, now you do. 902 01:15:25,700 --> 01:15:27,300 I'm slowing down. 903 01:15:32,900 --> 01:15:35,600 All right, I got it bumper-to-bumper. 904 01:15:35,600 --> 01:15:39,500 - Hop up there, Junior, and get the fish. - But, Daddy I'm carrying- 905 01:15:39,600 --> 01:15:41,900 Hop up there and get the fish. 906 01:15:41,900 --> 01:15:45,700 - But, Daddy- - Get the fish or I'll barbecue your ass! 907 01:15:58,100 --> 01:16:00,200 That's right, Junior. 908 01:16:01,400 --> 01:16:03,400 Just help yourself, son. 909 01:16:03,500 --> 01:16:06,300 Come on, Junior! Come on back! 910 01:16:09,300 --> 01:16:14,400 Junior, you are a brave little tick turd. 911 01:16:14,500 --> 01:16:16,200 Oh, thank you, Daddy! 912 01:16:19,400 --> 01:16:21,100 Way to go, Buford! 913 01:16:37,100 --> 01:16:40,100 Why are you stopping? We better get out of here. 914 01:16:40,500 --> 01:16:45,800 This show right here is only costing me $250,000. 915 01:16:45,800 --> 01:16:48,500 Do you mind if I just watch it? 916 01:16:51,100 --> 01:16:54,100 Well. There's your fish. 917 01:16:54,200 --> 01:16:57,000 Sheriff, this is hard for me to say... 918 01:16:57,100 --> 01:16:59,800 but you won it fair and square. Congratulations. 919 01:17:00,100 --> 01:17:02,500 Give him the money, son. 920 01:17:03,500 --> 01:17:05,700 I'd like to kick your ass. 921 01:17:05,800 --> 01:17:09,100 You can't kick that high, cricket crotch. 922 01:17:10,200 --> 01:17:12,200 I accept this prize... 923 01:17:12,600 --> 01:17:18,100 as a token of another one of my landmark achievements. 924 01:17:18,100 --> 01:17:21,200 Hold the money, Junior. And don't let Mama see it... 925 01:17:21,300 --> 01:17:25,200 if you don't wanna sing soprano for the rest of your life. 926 01:17:25,300 --> 01:17:26,800 Now... 927 01:17:30,000 --> 01:17:32,300 Just that long. 928 01:17:35,800 --> 01:17:39,500 - Oh! He's coming over here. - I know. I told you. 929 01:17:39,500 --> 01:17:42,200 - Will you hurry up? Will you please hurry. - It won't crank! 930 01:17:42,300 --> 01:17:44,500 - What do you mean? - The car won't crank. 931 01:17:44,600 --> 01:17:48,000 Come on, let's get this party started. Let's have a drink! 932 01:17:48,000 --> 01:17:51,000 We can all exchange clothes. 933 01:17:53,000 --> 01:17:55,500 Would you get away from me, you shit! 934 01:17:55,700 --> 01:17:58,400 I'm making this collar single only. 935 01:17:58,800 --> 01:18:01,100 You're The Bandit. Tell me what we are going to do. 936 01:18:01,200 --> 01:18:03,800 I am not The Bandit. The Bandit is The Bandit. 937 01:18:03,900 --> 01:18:07,000 The only man in the world that thinks I'm- 938 01:18:07,400 --> 01:18:09,100 Wait a minute. 939 01:18:09,200 --> 01:18:13,700 Sit back. And don't move a muscle! 940 01:18:23,300 --> 01:18:25,000 I got you. 941 01:18:30,800 --> 01:18:35,800 Hello, Buford. Well, you caught me with my pants down. 942 01:18:35,800 --> 01:18:39,200 - I did? - That's a figure of speech. 943 01:18:39,300 --> 01:18:42,300 - I got you! - Yeah. 944 01:18:42,300 --> 01:18:44,500 It's over for the old Bandit. 945 01:18:44,600 --> 01:18:47,000 - Yeah, you're gone. - It's gone. 946 01:18:47,600 --> 01:18:49,300 - Buford? - Yes, sir. 947 01:18:51,000 --> 01:18:54,000 I just wanna say one last thing to you before you... 948 01:18:54,100 --> 01:18:55,400 haul me off in the cuffs. 949 01:18:55,500 --> 01:18:58,200 - Go right ahead. - There's a kind of a... 950 01:18:58,300 --> 01:19:01,300 a kindred spirit we have, you know what I mean? 951 01:19:01,300 --> 01:19:03,700 Yeah. I think I feel the same way. 952 01:19:03,700 --> 01:19:07,100 No, I mean it's special. I can almost read your thoughts. 953 01:19:07,100 --> 01:19:08,500 - Is that so? - Yeah. 954 01:19:08,500 --> 01:19:11,700 What am I thinking right now? 955 01:19:11,800 --> 01:19:14,500 You're thinking right now that possibly you... 956 01:19:14,600 --> 01:19:17,600 No sense sending me off to prison where I'd lose all my friends... 957 01:19:17,700 --> 01:19:18,800 and everything. I mean... 958 01:19:18,800 --> 01:19:22,100 you could give me a five-second head start and chase after me- 959 01:19:22,200 --> 01:19:24,600 Oh, no, I'm sorry. I'm a law-and-order man. 960 01:19:24,700 --> 01:19:27,400 I got you and I'm gonna keep you. 961 01:19:27,400 --> 01:19:30,000 Yeah, you're right. I was silly to even think that. 962 01:19:30,000 --> 01:19:32,100 - You're too tough for that. - That's right. 963 01:19:32,100 --> 01:19:35,800 - I'm upright, straightforward- - Now that you've... 964 01:19:35,900 --> 01:19:39,400 finally caught The Bandit, you can really retire. 965 01:19:39,500 --> 01:19:43,800 We can go back to sunny Florida and you can collect your seashells... 966 01:19:44,000 --> 01:19:45,700 and you can play shuffleboard. 967 01:19:45,700 --> 01:19:50,300 And we can even go back and see that big funny whale jump again. 968 01:19:50,300 --> 01:19:55,700 But most and best of all, Daddy, I'll take you fishing with me. 969 01:19:57,100 --> 01:20:00,800 - I'll give you a five-minute head start. - Bye-bye! 970 01:20:04,100 --> 01:20:08,300 Junior! 971 01:20:13,800 --> 01:20:15,900 What the hell are you doing? 972 01:20:16,000 --> 01:20:20,100 I was trying to stop The Bandit from getting away, Daddy. 973 01:20:21,100 --> 01:20:25,200 I said it before, and I'll say it again: 974 01:20:25,200 --> 01:20:29,900 There is no way that you could come from my loins. 975 01:20:30,100 --> 01:20:35,200 And as soon as we get home, I'm putting a big lump on your mama's head. 976 01:20:35,300 --> 01:20:39,000 Now get in the car. We're on pursuit alert. 977 01:20:42,400 --> 01:20:45,600 Well, Cledus, I'll tell you, I gotta hand it to you. You did it. 978 01:20:45,600 --> 01:20:47,200 - I did it, didn't I? - You did it! 979 01:20:47,300 --> 01:20:50,200 I did it! Don't know what I did, but I did it. 980 01:20:50,400 --> 01:20:54,200 - Hey, do you mind if I tag along? - What? 981 01:21:01,700 --> 01:21:03,600 Where did they go? 982 01:21:03,700 --> 01:21:05,600 Pumpkin! 983 01:21:06,200 --> 01:21:09,300 Now, I know you didn't mean to leave me this time. 984 01:21:09,400 --> 01:21:11,800 Madame Godzilla is back. 985 01:21:13,800 --> 01:21:16,500 - Get the hell out of there! - I wanna come, too! 986 01:21:16,600 --> 01:21:19,500 - There ain't no room! - Oh, yes, there is! 987 01:21:25,300 --> 01:21:27,600 Wait, Daddy! 988 01:21:30,100 --> 01:21:32,800 Don't leave me! 989 01:21:33,000 --> 01:21:36,200 Wait, Daddy. 990 01:21:36,800 --> 01:21:38,600 Wait for me. 991 01:21:38,700 --> 01:21:40,600 Don't leave me, Daddy! 992 01:21:47,700 --> 01:21:49,400 The outlaw run 993 01:21:51,100 --> 01:21:52,800 Is an endless one 994 01:21:54,900 --> 01:21:56,700 It's a hungry night 995 01:21:58,700 --> 01:22:00,800 Where wrong is right 996 01:22:02,400 --> 01:22:04,800 And the race is done 997 01:22:06,000 --> 01:22:08,100 When the race is won 998 01:22:09,800 --> 01:22:11,800 In the morning sun 999 01:22:12,600 --> 01:22:15,100 Just look into the light 1000 01:22:17,000 --> 01:22:19,200 And I'm behind you now 1001 01:22:20,100 --> 01:22:22,500 With a ticket for the wind 1002 01:22:24,600 --> 01:22:26,700 I'm behind you now 1003 01:22:27,700 --> 01:22:29,900 Baby, you can never win 1004 01:22:32,100 --> 01:22:34,200 I'm behind you now 1005 01:22:35,200 --> 01:22:37,800 And your days are getting thin 1006 01:22:39,900 --> 01:22:42,000 I'm behind you now 1007 01:22:42,800 --> 01:22:45,100 With a ticket for the wind 1008 01:22:58,900 --> 01:23:00,900 And The Bandit's trying 1009 01:23:02,700 --> 01:23:04,800 There's a borderline 1010 01:23:06,500 --> 01:23:08,400 That's already crossed 1011 01:23:10,200 --> 01:23:12,300 When the game is lost 1012 01:23:13,800 --> 01:23:16,200 And the hunter's luck 1013 01:23:17,500 --> 01:23:19,200 Is a single shot 1014 01:23:21,300 --> 01:23:23,200 When the sun is hot 1015 01:23:24,100 --> 01:23:26,500 And the dice are tossed 1016 01:23:28,600 --> 01:23:30,500 I'm behind you now 1017 01:23:31,900 --> 01:23:34,000 With a ticket for the wind 1018 01:23:36,100 --> 01:23:38,100 I'm behind you now 1019 01:23:39,200 --> 01:23:41,300 And you can never win 1020 01:23:43,400 --> 01:23:45,300 I'm behind you now 1021 01:23:46,700 --> 01:23:49,200 And your days are getting thin 1022 01:23:51,500 --> 01:23:53,400 I'm behind you now 1023 01:23:54,300 --> 01:23:56,500 With a ticket for the wind 1024 01:24:25,100 --> 01:24:27,100 I'm behind you now 1025 01:24:28,200 --> 01:24:30,600 With a ticket for the wind 1026 01:24:31,500 --> 01:24:33,700 Yeah, I'm behind you now 1027 01:24:35,300 --> 01:24:37,600 Oh, and you can never win 79789

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